WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.580 Veterans Radio. This is Veterans Radio. Good 00:00:05.580 --> 00:00:09.000 day. I'm Jim Fossone. I'm the officer of the 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:11.140 deck today here on Veterans Radio, and thanks 00:00:11.140 --> 00:00:13.880 for joining us. We've got some interesting stories 00:00:13.880 --> 00:00:16.039 for you. We always want to remind you you can 00:00:16.039 --> 00:00:19.140 find more about Veterans Radio at its Facebook 00:00:19.140 --> 00:00:23.079 site or at the web veteransradio .org where we're 00:00:23.079 --> 00:00:26.300 on the web 24 -7. You can find a lot of our podcasts 00:00:26.300 --> 00:00:29.699 there as well. We post new ones every Tuesday, 00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:34.200 so you can get a new story, a new interview, 00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:37.060 something you didn't know before by going to 00:00:37.060 --> 00:00:40.170 veteransradio .org. And before we get started, 00:00:40.229 --> 00:00:43.630 we want to thank our sponsors. 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We 00:01:22.709 --> 00:01:27.109 just want to remind you that Veterans Radio Podcasts 00:01:27.109 --> 00:01:30.010 are available on all your favorite streaming 00:01:30.010 --> 00:01:34.709 platforms including rss .com, Apple Podcasts, 00:01:34.829 --> 00:01:40.250 Spotify YouTube podcast I heart radio and Ree's 00:01:40.250 --> 00:01:43.329 across America radio So wherever you are you 00:01:43.329 --> 00:01:46.950 can find us whether it's on your mobile phone 00:01:46.950 --> 00:01:50.049 or your computer or your laptop your tablet But 00:01:50.049 --> 00:01:53.709 listen in to veterans radio podcast we post something 00:01:53.709 --> 00:01:56.609 new every week and you're gonna find it informative 00:01:56.609 --> 00:02:02.150 We want to welcome to veterans radio today Anthony 00:02:02.150 --> 00:02:06.109 Dwyer You might hear a little of his North Carolina 00:02:06.109 --> 00:02:09.509 twang in there. Anthony, welcome to the Veterans 00:02:09.509 --> 00:02:12.090 Radio. Hey, thanks for having me, Jim. It's a 00:02:12.090 --> 00:02:14.629 pleasure to be here. Well, you spent 21 years 00:02:14.629 --> 00:02:17.710 in the Air Force. You got some wisdom to pass 00:02:17.710 --> 00:02:19.719 along, but let's start with... How did a nice 00:02:19.719 --> 00:02:21.759 kid like you from North Carolina end up in the 00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:24.879 Air Force? Yeah, so my senior year in high school, 00:02:25.039 --> 00:02:27.960 uh, I don't know roughly six months left of high 00:02:27.960 --> 00:02:29.840 school left there. My dad, you know, gave me 00:02:29.840 --> 00:02:31.599 the typical dad talk of, you know, you're about 00:02:31.599 --> 00:02:33.780 to be a grown man, like it's time to either get 00:02:33.780 --> 00:02:36.659 a job, go to college, or get out. And I'd talked 00:02:36.659 --> 00:02:38.819 to a neighbor recruiter and he was talking about 00:02:38.819 --> 00:02:41.199 being on a boat for six months and then an army 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:42.819 recruiter. Then I was like, you know what? I'm 00:02:42.819 --> 00:02:44.400 going to talk to my dad about sort of the quality 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:45.879 of life of the Air Force. He was in for like 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:49.770 four years down in Tampa, MacDill. this way before 00:02:49.770 --> 00:02:51.490 I was born and you know it's talked about the 00:02:51.490 --> 00:02:53.370 uh the good child halls the TDI and the golf 00:02:53.370 --> 00:02:57.750 clubs and stuff like that right and yeah and 00:02:57.750 --> 00:02:59.969 uh so I was like yeah I'm gonna do the Air Force 00:02:59.969 --> 00:03:02.030 and I was on the delayed enlistment program for 00:03:02.030 --> 00:03:05.129 you know about that six months and um yeah July 00:03:05.129 --> 00:03:08.449 18th of 2000 there I was on my flight to uh San 00:03:08.449 --> 00:03:10.919 Antonio Texas to base the training Well, all 00:03:10.919 --> 00:03:14.080 those jokes about the Air Force Life, a lot of 00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:20.780 them are true. So, as I said, you're in for 21 00:03:20.780 --> 00:03:23.819 years, got out as a tech sergeant in E6, now 00:03:23.819 --> 00:03:27.199 living in New Mexico. But give us a thumbnail 00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:31.020 of what your service was about, because I'm not 00:03:31.020 --> 00:03:34.020 sure we've ever had a special operations aviation 00:03:34.020 --> 00:03:38.340 guy on Veterans Radio and a lot of the Army pukes 00:03:38.340 --> 00:03:41.539 don't have any idea what you guys did. Yeah, 00:03:41.599 --> 00:03:44.759 so I was a Special Missions Aviator and I flew 00:03:44.759 --> 00:03:47.300 in the, started out flying on the, there in 2010, 00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:48.759 I was about midway through my career, I started 00:03:48.759 --> 00:03:51.060 flying, but yeah, the 16th Special Operations 00:03:51.060 --> 00:03:53.659 Squadron on the AC -130 gunship, the H -Model 00:03:53.659 --> 00:03:56.340 Spectre gunship, you know, and the mission of 00:03:56.340 --> 00:03:58.719 that, the gunship as a whole was to provide that 00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:01.039 close air support for your unconventional forces. 00:04:01.219 --> 00:04:03.060 You know, I like to call them super ninjas, you 00:04:03.060 --> 00:04:05.580 know, give them that close air support. And then 00:04:05.580 --> 00:04:08.419 also flew on the HA -60G Pave Hawk there for 00:04:08.419 --> 00:04:10.639 about four or five years out at Moody Air Force 00:04:10.639 --> 00:04:13.400 Base as a, you know, the 41st Rescue Squadron 00:04:13.400 --> 00:04:15.699 as a smotton. What a special mission JV8er is 00:04:15.699 --> 00:04:19.319 is, you know, back in 2012, 2013 that the Air 00:04:19.319 --> 00:04:22.100 Force combined the Aero Gunner, the loadmaster 00:04:22.100 --> 00:04:24.180 and the flight engineer career field made a really 00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:25.860 like a Swiss Army knife in the sky if you think 00:04:25.860 --> 00:04:27.939 about it that way, sort of a jack of all trades 00:04:27.939 --> 00:04:30.399 and all that. But yeah, it was a pleasure and 00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:32.060 honor to fly and fight beside the best men and 00:04:32.060 --> 00:04:36.519 women in Air Force, you know. Well, we joke about 00:04:36.519 --> 00:04:38.579 it a little bit to the army guys in particular 00:04:38.579 --> 00:04:41.199 about the Air Force But they sure glad to have 00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:43.000 you for that close air support, weren't they? 00:04:43.819 --> 00:04:46.100 Yeah, yeah, you know a lot you know a lot of 00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:48.040 times I worked with the being overhead in the 00:04:48.040 --> 00:04:49.839 Rangers and the green braze stuff like that and 00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:51.779 There were some nights, you know not when we 00:04:51.779 --> 00:04:53.360 didn't even shoot, you know We're just our noise 00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:55.680 signature would would keep the enemy at bay if 00:04:55.680 --> 00:04:57.360 you will and those guys could get some you know 00:04:57.360 --> 00:05:00.920 a few hours of shutout and stuff like that and 00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:06.389 and tell us where your Tours took you in terms 00:05:06.389 --> 00:05:10.810 of overseas missions Yeah, I went to a bathroom 00:05:10.810 --> 00:05:13.529 multiple times You know I think in the book I 00:05:13.529 --> 00:05:15.449 called the bargain retreat routine there and 00:05:15.449 --> 00:05:17.750 as a flyer, you know It's all about your flight 00:05:17.750 --> 00:05:20.670 hours So you can basically get 335 hours and 00:05:20.670 --> 00:05:23.189 90 days and if you hit that or see that I have 00:05:23.189 --> 00:05:24.689 to set you down, you know for a little bit and 00:05:24.689 --> 00:05:27.189 So we managed that and then basically three months 00:05:27.189 --> 00:05:29.509 there than three months back was the the ops 00:05:29.509 --> 00:05:33.780 tempo there for for bathroom and then 20 2014 00:05:33.780 --> 00:05:38.680 -2015 the ISIS you know threat happened and basically 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:41.319 we went to at that point Kuwait and then flew 00:05:41.319 --> 00:05:44.019 over you know Iraq and Syria and Basically was 00:05:44.019 --> 00:05:46.279 type 3 like controlled air support We have like 00:05:46.279 --> 00:05:48.579 a JTAC at that time anyway with a with like a 00:05:48.579 --> 00:05:50.800 general on it You know a talk or whatnot and 00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:52.939 basically creating you'd engage on the on the 00:05:52.939 --> 00:05:55.259 ISIS enemy and stuff like that and then in rescue 00:05:55.259 --> 00:05:57.980 I went to East Africa would say that twice there 00:05:57.980 --> 00:06:03.310 These are not Guess what I would call normal 00:06:03.310 --> 00:06:06.550 missions. Were they Not no definitely not you 00:06:06.550 --> 00:06:07.990 know, there's I tell people there's really two 00:06:07.990 --> 00:06:09.930 types of they seem with very good ship missions 00:06:09.930 --> 00:06:12.850 where They're so back to even 2011 believe it 00:06:12.850 --> 00:06:14.569 or not We had pagers man and like they would 00:06:14.569 --> 00:06:16.649 you know pages doesn't like an alert type thing 00:06:16.649 --> 00:06:18.649 And it would either one let you know you had 00:06:18.649 --> 00:06:20.310 a troops in contact So you had to launch within 00:06:20.310 --> 00:06:22.230 like things like 15 to 30 minutes be off the 00:06:22.230 --> 00:06:25.680 ground and then Do you have the other ones which 00:06:25.680 --> 00:06:27.240 would basically like some like there's like direct 00:06:27.240 --> 00:06:29.439 action stuff going on the ground like You know 00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:30.899 it could have seals kicking doors down green 00:06:30.899 --> 00:06:33.600 braids doing fid type stuff And yeah, so there's 00:06:33.600 --> 00:06:35.579 basically that that two types of missions and 00:06:35.579 --> 00:06:38.279 and one thing I always loved about But I should 00:06:38.279 --> 00:06:40.199 have not shouldn't you know these are all jobs 00:06:40.199 --> 00:06:41.740 really don't have to do but the end of the day 00:06:41.740 --> 00:06:43.160 like you know There'd be ticks you know where 00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:44.600 those guys been shot at all day and we would 00:06:44.600 --> 00:06:47.019 get like You know miles away and start picking 00:06:47.019 --> 00:06:48.500 the enemy up or our sensors and they just run 00:06:48.500 --> 00:06:50.759 like bees You know here and I heard enough for 00:06:50.759 --> 00:06:52.980 fans of freedom there and they knew at that point 00:06:52.980 --> 00:06:54.959 You know it's it's over for them. So it was a 00:06:54.959 --> 00:06:58.800 to be that relevant You know best sense of relevance, 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:01.000 I guess, you know as far as a gunship guys That 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:03.139 was my whole why all those years and you know 00:07:03.139 --> 00:07:04.500 making sure those guys got home to their family 00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:07.620 that that was everything to me Yeah, that's back 00:07:07.620 --> 00:07:11.000 that close your support and you know in both 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:16.460 of those instances whether it's Afghanistan Africa 00:07:16.460 --> 00:07:20.740 Iraq The Air Force has air superiority you want 00:07:20.740 --> 00:07:23.620 to talk about that a little bit Yeah, yeah as 00:07:23.620 --> 00:07:24.980 far as like the air -to -air stuff, you know 00:07:24.980 --> 00:07:27.800 that no one's really gonna test us at least not 00:07:27.800 --> 00:07:30.860 in that environment You know even in near -peer 00:07:30.860 --> 00:07:33.220 I'd argue that you know they wouldn't even stand 00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:35.399 a smidge of a chance with us You know what I 00:07:35.399 --> 00:07:37.600 mean? And as far as the the close air support, 00:07:37.819 --> 00:07:39.740 there's you know, there's a few kings there There's 00:07:39.740 --> 00:07:42.660 the AC 130 gunship within the A -10 and then 00:07:42.660 --> 00:07:48.290 sometimes even the Apache, you know Well, all 00:07:48.290 --> 00:07:51.610 that combat experience, so while you're up in 00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:56.050 the air, you're not down on the ground. It still 00:07:56.050 --> 00:08:01.290 has an impact on the airmen who's supplying that 00:08:01.290 --> 00:08:03.649 support and knowing what's going on in the ground. 00:08:04.389 --> 00:08:10.060 How did you internalize that situation? Yeah, 00:08:10.139 --> 00:08:12.319 so, you know, I always say it's not what you 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:14.959 do in flying a life that haunches what you don't 00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:17.560 do, you know, and I, you know, on the, I was 00:08:17.560 --> 00:08:19.839 on a Kassavak mission when I was on rescue helicopters 00:08:19.839 --> 00:08:22.620 in East Africa there. I think it was 8th June 00:08:22.620 --> 00:08:25.319 of 2018. And, you know, we got to see the best 00:08:25.319 --> 00:08:27.259 side of combat search and rescue that day where 00:08:27.259 --> 00:08:29.639 we, you know, got to save five lives and then 00:08:29.639 --> 00:08:32.059 one one eagle one american we got back on the 00:08:32.059 --> 00:08:34.059 operating table we passed away so so that one 00:08:34.059 --> 00:08:36.100 sticks with you you know and um i'd be lying 00:08:36.100 --> 00:08:37.980 if i didn't say i if i wasn't still dealing with 00:08:37.980 --> 00:08:40.440 that but uh i was able to get a you know through 00:08:40.440 --> 00:08:42.679 you so come like a prolonged exposure therapy 00:08:42.679 --> 00:08:45.240 with a psychiatrist and and part of that what 00:08:45.240 --> 00:08:46.419 that means really is you're getting comfortable 00:08:46.419 --> 00:08:47.980 being uncomfortable telling your story so like 00:08:47.980 --> 00:08:49.679 you're doing we're doing right here and uh you 00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:51.480 write that story out over and over and over and 00:08:52.139 --> 00:08:54.139 which really led to the book, you know, because 00:08:54.139 --> 00:08:56.220 she's like, you should tell your story. Someone 00:08:56.220 --> 00:08:58.019 told me that a hundred times and I never did. 00:08:58.159 --> 00:09:00.759 But once I got out and the dust settles, I was 00:09:00.759 --> 00:09:02.320 like, you know, maybe someone could get help 00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:04.679 if they read this. And to me, that's what it 00:09:04.679 --> 00:09:06.620 was all about, just paying it forward. And also 00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:08.120 to show the rest of America, this is what goes 00:09:08.120 --> 00:09:10.740 on when you're sleeping. Well, and I think that's 00:09:10.740 --> 00:09:14.740 part of it is there's all kinds of ways to kind 00:09:14.740 --> 00:09:20.899 of get yourself through this. And not everything 00:09:20.899 --> 00:09:24.639 works for everybody. Talk a little bit about, 00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:28.139 you know, sort of, and I'm only asking you to 00:09:28.139 --> 00:09:30.259 do this not because I'm, you know, want to deal 00:09:30.259 --> 00:09:32.639 in tragedy here, but I want to deal in reality. 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:36.740 And there'll be a lot of family members and veterans 00:09:36.740 --> 00:09:39.379 listening in on Veterans Radio who don't maybe 00:09:39.379 --> 00:09:43.899 understand the lows and where you were at and 00:09:43.899 --> 00:09:50.049 then how... it takes a few attempts to get out, 00:09:50.210 --> 00:09:52.149 right? I mean, you don't transition through this 00:09:52.149 --> 00:09:56.399 in a weekend. So tell us about the journey. Yeah, 00:09:56.480 --> 00:09:59.700 so I went back to gunships for my racing 130s 00:09:59.700 --> 00:10:01.399 for my last two years here at Canada Air Force 00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:04.360 Base, and I wanted to deploy on my last, or my 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:07.100 20 year mark was with July 18th of 2020, that 00:10:07.100 --> 00:10:09.539 was my 20 year mark, and went to Iraq there. 00:10:09.759 --> 00:10:12.220 And I remember it was so slow, and we didn't 00:10:12.220 --> 00:10:14.340 really shoot at all for those 90 days at that 00:10:14.340 --> 00:10:16.279 point. And I just remember thinking, I could 00:10:16.279 --> 00:10:19.320 see the end of it being near of my career. I'm 00:10:19.320 --> 00:10:22.639 at 20 years. That sense of purpose, that sense 00:10:22.639 --> 00:10:26.059 of my identity, I feel like it was gone. I got 00:10:26.059 --> 00:10:29.500 back and I hit the retirement button in that 00:10:29.500 --> 00:10:32.220 whole year time frame. I really developed a really 00:10:32.220 --> 00:10:33.519 bad drinking problem, to be honest with you. 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:35.700 I started as a weekend drinking habit, turned 00:10:35.700 --> 00:10:39.320 into at least a pint a night. So my wife basically 00:10:39.320 --> 00:10:41.960 gave me the ultimatum of, hey, it's either the 00:10:41.960 --> 00:10:44.700 bottle or me and your daughter. And thank God, 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:48.519 very thankful that God led me to choose my family 00:10:48.519 --> 00:10:52.100 at that point. So she's like you need to get 00:10:52.100 --> 00:10:53.759 help and some other people sort of noticed as 00:10:53.759 --> 00:10:55.559 well and I went and got help and that's when 00:10:55.559 --> 00:10:57.360 I saw the psychiatrist and started that journey 00:10:57.360 --> 00:10:59.659 and then what would happen you know every time 00:10:59.659 --> 00:11:02.460 I wanted to To drink, you know, I pick up a pen 00:11:02.460 --> 00:11:04.600 and I'd write something down, you know and wake 00:11:04.600 --> 00:11:06.320 up in the morning and try to make this sense 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:08.179 of this sort of Charlotte's word, you know, web 00:11:08.179 --> 00:11:10.059 of emotional words and just make sense of two 00:11:10.059 --> 00:11:11.899 decades of word, you know all those feelings 00:11:11.899 --> 00:11:14.519 So it is therapeutic in the way if you just bleed 00:11:14.519 --> 00:11:17.039 it on the page Get it out because a lot of people 00:11:17.039 --> 00:11:18.620 have the similar struggle that sells, you know 00:11:18.620 --> 00:11:20.980 sense of identity a sense of relevance, you know 00:11:20.980 --> 00:11:25.179 when that's gone And a lot of guys face that 00:11:25.179 --> 00:11:28.440 same problem and the family says it's us or them 00:11:28.440 --> 00:11:33.389 again not maybe a switch you can flip like a 00:11:33.389 --> 00:11:36.470 light and you decide right away you're going 00:11:36.470 --> 00:11:39.750 to transition, you're going to stop doing whatever 00:11:39.750 --> 00:11:44.509 the addictive or detrimental activity is. When 00:11:44.509 --> 00:11:48.610 she gave you the ultimatum, did it take you a 00:11:48.610 --> 00:11:51.549 while to say I'm there or was it a lightning 00:11:51.549 --> 00:11:55.019 bolt and you were able to flip that switch? Yeah, 00:11:55.100 --> 00:11:56.860 there was a couple of times right you know I 00:11:56.860 --> 00:12:00.100 felt the wagon if you will but you know just 00:12:00.100 --> 00:12:03.100 a few handful of times and then You know I'd 00:12:03.100 --> 00:12:04.799 realized that there was a spiritual side to this 00:12:04.799 --> 00:12:07.019 as well You know and I prayed and prayed and 00:12:07.019 --> 00:12:09.799 prayed you know and I had a very you know most 00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:11.059 important conversation I ever had is the one 00:12:11.059 --> 00:12:12.879 I had with Jesus and myself that night as the 00:12:12.879 --> 00:12:14.879 way I look at it and that's when I truly got 00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:17.340 the You know the courage and that just the willpower 00:12:17.340 --> 00:12:20.299 just to put that bottle down and to So face my 00:12:20.299 --> 00:12:25.500 you know face my demons head on you know There's 00:12:25.500 --> 00:12:30.100 a lot of folks who talk about the moral injury 00:12:30.100 --> 00:12:35.759 that veterans in combat experience as they think 00:12:35.759 --> 00:12:41.399 about who am I taking out? Why did the guy next 00:12:41.399 --> 00:12:46.019 to me have this accident or this get in the way 00:12:46.019 --> 00:12:48.200 of the bullet and I was just nearby or the grenade 00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:52.279 or whatever it might be? So there is this moral 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:54.639 component to the injury and that's sort of the 00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:57.799 spiritual aspect that you're talking about 100 00:12:57.799 --> 00:12:59.460 % yeah that I'm glad you actually brought that 00:12:59.460 --> 00:13:01.100 up because in the book I talk about like you 00:13:01.100 --> 00:13:03.159 know still my unanswered question those days 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:05.659 like Why does you know that god let bad things 00:13:05.659 --> 00:13:07.639 happen to good people and I I'm still searching 00:13:07.639 --> 00:13:09.519 for that answer You know I have some ideas what 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:12.240 it would it maybe but uh? Yeah, I asked that 00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:13.980 question in the book and that was a lot of a 00:13:13.980 --> 00:13:15.460 lot of dealing with that as well You know it's 00:13:15.460 --> 00:13:17.279 just talking to God constantly trying to figure 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:20.039 that part of life out, you know So we're talking 00:13:20.039 --> 00:13:24.860 to Anthony Dwyer. He's a Air Force veteran, did 00:13:24.860 --> 00:13:29.980 his 20 years was with special operations, aviation, 00:13:30.700 --> 00:13:35.480 close air, close air support. But one of the 00:13:35.480 --> 00:13:37.980 things he probably never thought he'd put on 00:13:37.980 --> 00:13:41.039 his resume when he was growing up in the Appalachian 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:47.639 mountains of North Carolina is author. So You 00:13:47.639 --> 00:13:51.200 have out now a memoir called Moon Child, A Warrior's 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:56.279 Recting with War, Addiction and Purpose. You've 00:13:56.279 --> 00:13:58.740 kind of mentioned, you know, hey, I started writing 00:13:58.740 --> 00:14:01.220 stuff to sort of bleed on the page as therapy. 00:14:01.840 --> 00:14:03.960 Talk a little bit, you know, writing a book's 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:06.519 not easy. Putting yourself out there is not easy. 00:14:06.759 --> 00:14:08.799 Tell us a little bit about that aspect of the 00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:12.019 journey. Yeah, my friends always joke with me 00:14:12.019 --> 00:14:14.559 that, you know, North Carolina education, you 00:14:14.559 --> 00:14:16.590 know, Appalachia. I still probably reading right 00:14:16.590 --> 00:14:18.169 on a fifth grade level somehow I have a book 00:14:18.169 --> 00:14:20.809 but yeah so I'm surprised as you are about that 00:14:20.809 --> 00:14:24.470 but uh yeah um so basically um you know I when 00:14:24.470 --> 00:14:26.389 I started writing all these things together and 00:14:26.389 --> 00:14:29.389 get you know going back a little bit so there's 00:14:29.389 --> 00:14:30.990 a point in Air Force where you're applying for 00:14:30.990 --> 00:14:34.549 you like a DD 214 right and um you walk out this 00:14:34.549 --> 00:14:36.629 person that was type flight this office you know 00:14:36.629 --> 00:14:39.210 and and often in that office when you when you 00:14:39.210 --> 00:14:41.700 leave You look back at it, there's no door handle 00:14:41.700 --> 00:14:43.120 on the other side of that door. So it was sort 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:45.460 of symbolic. Like, man, I can leave, but I can 00:14:45.460 --> 00:14:47.039 never really get back into this machine that 00:14:47.039 --> 00:14:50.039 keeps going. And so that was sort of, I was dealing 00:14:50.039 --> 00:14:52.080 with that as well. And like I said, every time 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:54.080 that these thoughts would come in my mind, these 00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:56.120 bad thoughts, these sad thoughts, whatever the 00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:59.379 case was, I would write them down. Whether it's 00:14:59.379 --> 00:15:02.340 like Eminem with a napkin next to my nightstand, 00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:04.379 something like that, or whatever I had. And then 00:15:04.379 --> 00:15:07.220 finally, I got the courage to reach out to an 00:15:07.220 --> 00:15:10.100 editor. She's actually a war journalist Holly 00:15:10.100 --> 00:15:13.659 McKay and through LinkedIn and then as soon as 00:15:13.659 --> 00:15:15.179 I did that she responded like right away I remember 00:15:15.179 --> 00:15:17.620 I was in Walmart and she responded and I'm texting 00:15:17.620 --> 00:15:19.259 and we set up a phone call and she's like, yeah, 00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:21.019 she's like, you know, I'll do the editing for 00:15:21.019 --> 00:15:23.659 you and I Really she did a really good job pulling 00:15:23.659 --> 00:15:25.799 those words out of me and give my words Just 00:15:25.799 --> 00:15:27.279 painting that picture with my words and give 00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:29.620 my words teeth is what I like to say and she 00:15:29.620 --> 00:15:31.720 in turn recommended a publisher Robbie Grayson 00:15:31.720 --> 00:15:33.840 that did like the hardware of the book if you 00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:37.370 will and you know between That timeframe, they 00:15:37.370 --> 00:15:39.750 say, no, I have a book, you know. Well, they 00:15:39.750 --> 00:15:43.110 say everybody's got a story and I think that's 00:15:43.110 --> 00:15:48.409 probably true. Some are forged into fire, which 00:15:48.409 --> 00:15:51.230 yours certainly is. And I think that the title 00:15:51.230 --> 00:15:54.870 of this is really interesting because it's reckoning 00:15:54.870 --> 00:15:57.750 with war, which we, you know, kind of maybe can 00:15:57.750 --> 00:16:00.210 all understand addiction. Maybe we can all understand 00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:04.700 how that was about and purpose. That's an interesting 00:16:04.700 --> 00:16:11.299 ad. Talk about why finding a new purpose after 00:16:11.299 --> 00:16:13.860 leaving the military, which was so clearly the 00:16:13.860 --> 00:16:16.740 purpose for 20 years. Tell us about that battle. 00:16:17.860 --> 00:16:19.919 Yes. And the purpose and the, you know, the title 00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:22.019 even itself like moon child, you know, a lot 00:16:22.019 --> 00:16:24.340 of people ask me about that. And to me, the moon's 00:16:24.340 --> 00:16:26.539 really symbolic, you know, you know, for example, 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:28.840 flying on the AC 130, it was often my lighthouse, 00:16:29.059 --> 00:16:30.799 you know, and it would highlight the terrain 00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.840 with MVG and stuff like that. And And there's 00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:35.720 these moments when everything is going against 00:16:35.720 --> 00:16:38.059 you, right? And it could be the weather, the 00:16:38.059 --> 00:16:40.759 system, the emergency procedures, all the communications, 00:16:41.059 --> 00:16:43.500 everything. And I realized that that's the day 00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:46.259 where you don't get to fall, you get to rise. 00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:49.039 And to me, that moon burns the brightest on the 00:16:49.039 --> 00:16:52.019 darkest nights. And that's when you get to really 00:16:52.019 --> 00:16:55.120 find a lot out about yourself. So the moon's 00:16:55.120 --> 00:17:00.039 always meant that symbolically a lot to me. And 00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:02.620 expand on this though in terms of that purpose 00:17:02.620 --> 00:17:06.700 you had to go find Yeah, so, you know, like I 00:17:06.700 --> 00:17:08.019 said when you leave, you know that that sense 00:17:08.019 --> 00:17:10.440 of purpose all that that hits you like a like 00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:13.220 a Like a tidal wave, you know, your sense of 00:17:13.220 --> 00:17:14.900 identity your relevance is gone You know, like 00:17:14.900 --> 00:17:17.519 I'm not not gonna be able to find more and you 00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:18.759 know Make sure these guys get home with their 00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:20.720 family on the gunship and stuff like that and 00:17:20.720 --> 00:17:23.700 so I was okay Well, you know right now I'm finding 00:17:23.700 --> 00:17:26.329 the legacy to be to find those you know those 00:17:26.329 --> 00:17:28.269 moments in the calm with the family and the norm 00:17:28.269 --> 00:17:30.369 things of life you know that's to me that's legacy 00:17:30.369 --> 00:17:32.250 now that's that's my new purse being the best 00:17:32.250 --> 00:17:34.890 dad I could be you know husband I could be best 00:17:34.890 --> 00:17:36.930 author I could be best best friend I could be 00:17:36.930 --> 00:17:40.150 to someone you know it's easy to say that out 00:17:40.150 --> 00:17:42.289 loud and it makes sense when you say it out loud 00:17:42.289 --> 00:17:45.150 but it's harder to live it isn't it really is 00:17:45.150 --> 00:17:47.609 yeah you know it's you know at the end of the 00:17:47.609 --> 00:17:49.349 day I can either pick up my phone when someone 00:17:49.349 --> 00:17:52.029 calls or I can't you know and when these you 00:17:52.029 --> 00:17:53.829 know it's happened before you know I've actually 00:17:54.339 --> 00:17:56.339 Recently talked to golf legend force had to do 00:17:56.339 --> 00:17:58.500 that, but uh, he's a better place for it now 00:17:58.500 --> 00:18:00.380 You know so it's it's definitely hits you You 00:18:00.380 --> 00:18:02.220 know those moments happen, you know paying it 00:18:02.220 --> 00:18:03.980 forward and you know God will definitely give 00:18:03.980 --> 00:18:06.839 you that chance Well and part of this is that 00:18:06.839 --> 00:18:10.140 veterans ethos where hey, I had your back over 00:18:10.140 --> 00:18:12.799 there I'm gonna have your back over here and 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:15.319 But it does take reaching out it does take answering 00:18:15.319 --> 00:18:18.359 the phone doesn't it? 100 % yeah, and I always 00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:20.460 tell people like you know as far as veterans 00:18:20.460 --> 00:18:22.460 go like we know each other really well right 00:18:22.460 --> 00:18:24.400 Especially the ones we served with and you know, 00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:25.980 there's a difference saying hey, how's it going 00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:27.960 man? Or like hey, how are you doing really man? 00:18:28.059 --> 00:18:30.420 Cuz we know each other's emotions. We know the 00:18:30.420 --> 00:18:32.400 looks on our faces. What you know, you know each 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:36.180 other that much And usually when you're writing 00:18:36.180 --> 00:18:39.059 a book of some sort you've got an audience in 00:18:39.059 --> 00:18:44.599 mind When you were writing moon child a warrior's 00:18:44.599 --> 00:18:50.029 wrecking with the war addiction and purpose and 00:18:50.029 --> 00:18:51.970 maybe your editor say, hey, you got to get a 00:18:51.970 --> 00:18:54.849 little more focused on the audience. What audience 00:18:54.849 --> 00:18:58.069 were you writing to? Really, it was anybody that's 00:18:58.069 --> 00:18:59.890 deserved, you know, or anybody that's had some 00:18:59.890 --> 00:19:02.890 sort of addiction problem. Those two main pools 00:19:02.890 --> 00:19:05.630 of people, you know, and a lot of these these 00:19:05.630 --> 00:19:07.710 uncommon jobs, you know, it could be a policeman 00:19:07.710 --> 00:19:10.009 or firefighter, you know, these very uncommon 00:19:10.009 --> 00:19:12.410 jobs were sometimes unfortunately, you know, 00:19:12.980 --> 00:19:14.740 You don't have to do these jobs, but you see 00:19:14.740 --> 00:19:16.000 the worst thing that could happen to someone. 00:19:16.839 --> 00:19:19.960 You know, these kind of memoirs, Anthony, I also 00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:22.619 think help family members and friends who maybe 00:19:22.619 --> 00:19:26.380 can't be in the shoes of the veteran, didn't 00:19:26.380 --> 00:19:29.220 see what the veteran has and doesn't understand 00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:32.240 what that person, guy or gal may be going through. 00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:36.420 It sort of helps to read your memoir and be able 00:19:36.420 --> 00:19:38.759 to recognize some of that in somebody else you 00:19:38.759 --> 00:19:41.059 might know. And maybe you've heard that from 00:19:41.059 --> 00:19:45.170 people. Yeah, yeah, you definitely see some common 00:19:45.170 --> 00:19:47.690 struggles between like you know like paramedics 00:19:47.690 --> 00:19:50.470 and you know definitely you know cops and firefighters 00:19:50.470 --> 00:19:52.869 even jobs like that and Where they've had to 00:19:52.869 --> 00:19:54.730 you know face that trauma head on you know and 00:19:54.730 --> 00:19:57.569 I will say that you so come was was really good 00:19:57.569 --> 00:19:59.630 as far as like you know one of the soft truths 00:19:59.630 --> 00:20:01.730 is what we call it is you know humans are more 00:20:01.730 --> 00:20:04.349 important than hardware and I mean it those guys 00:20:04.349 --> 00:20:06.829 they live by that you know and basically they 00:20:06.829 --> 00:20:09.349 invented the the preservation of the force and 00:20:09.349 --> 00:20:11.730 family, where you get a physical therapist, you 00:20:11.730 --> 00:20:13.750 get a trainer, and you get a psychologist in 00:20:13.750 --> 00:20:17.549 your squadron oftenly. Again, I think the US 00:20:17.549 --> 00:20:19.750 military's gotten much better over time with 00:20:19.750 --> 00:20:22.609 this, and particularly after the 20 years of 00:20:22.609 --> 00:20:27.089 Afghanistan recognizing, hey, we got to help 00:20:27.089 --> 00:20:30.630 on the mental health side of things. And you 00:20:30.630 --> 00:20:33.549 probably saw that change over time. Oh, yeah, 00:20:33.569 --> 00:20:35.190 and I remember, you know, believe it or not, 00:20:35.309 --> 00:20:37.630 Abram or Craven came to the talk, the talk one 00:20:37.630 --> 00:20:39.609 night and basically it's when the H -Model gunship 00:20:39.609 --> 00:20:41.710 was going away and he said, hey, he's like, listen 00:20:41.710 --> 00:20:44.049 guys, like, um, we're slowing down the ops tempo. 00:20:44.230 --> 00:20:45.589 It's not going to be what we call one -to -one 00:20:45.589 --> 00:20:47.529 dwell time. It was, you know, sort of like 90 00:20:47.529 --> 00:20:49.049 days there, 90 days back. It would be like 90 00:20:49.049 --> 00:20:51.589 days there, then like six months off, you know. 00:20:51.750 --> 00:20:53.789 So, slowed it down and that's when he started 00:20:53.789 --> 00:20:55.450 seeing a lot of these programs getting, you know, 00:20:55.509 --> 00:20:59.539 implemented and stuff like that. So, uh, What's 00:20:59.539 --> 00:21:02.960 what's next for the kid from North Carolina now 00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:05.619 living in New Mexico? What you're gonna write 00:21:05.619 --> 00:21:08.180 another book. What's the next step big guy? Yeah, 00:21:08.180 --> 00:21:09.980 yeah, I'm actually in the process of writing 00:21:09.980 --> 00:21:13.460 one. It's um It's basically tying the lessons 00:21:13.460 --> 00:21:15.640 learned from you know fishing believe it or not 00:21:15.640 --> 00:21:17.740 Fireflies like back home. We have a lot of like, 00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:20.119 you know lightning bugs and then uh, you know 00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:22.339 fishing and flying, you know, so all those three 00:21:22.339 --> 00:21:24.450 lessons those three areas of lessons and then 00:21:24.450 --> 00:21:26.549 time them into one and try to be as poetic as 00:21:26.549 --> 00:21:29.390 I can with it, I guess. And also secondly, I'm 00:21:29.390 --> 00:21:32.609 inventing an app where basically you speak into 00:21:32.609 --> 00:21:36.269 this app and with AI -type companion stuff, like 00:21:36.269 --> 00:21:39.509 it's going to soft edit what the veteran or first 00:21:39.509 --> 00:21:42.369 responder reads into it. And then they would 00:21:42.369 --> 00:21:44.549 have the option to either get it edited and published 00:21:44.549 --> 00:21:46.730 for either, if not free, then very cheap costs. 00:21:47.769 --> 00:21:49.450 put it to the state and we'll see if this nonprofit 00:21:49.450 --> 00:21:53.210 gets stood up. Well, that's great. Again, it's 00:21:53.210 --> 00:21:56.509 purpose along with the family, beyond the family, 00:21:56.809 --> 00:21:59.150 gives you additional purpose. We've been talking 00:21:59.150 --> 00:22:02.109 to Anthony Dwyer, who wrote Moon Child, the Roots 00:22:02.109 --> 00:22:04.910 and Wings of the United States Air Force Combat 00:22:04.910 --> 00:22:09.920 Special Missions Aviator. You can get that book 00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:14.700 just about anywhere. Make a great read for folks 00:22:14.700 --> 00:22:17.660 and gift for folks. Anthony, on the way out here, 00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:21.619 any final word for your fellow veterans? Yeah, 00:22:21.799 --> 00:22:24.259 I'd say just keep going. Remember, Henry Ford 00:22:24.259 --> 00:22:26.680 said that an aircraft takes off against the wind, 00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:29.440 not with it. So you're going to lift off, you 00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:32.940 know? Excellent. I want to thank you for taking 00:22:32.940 --> 00:22:35.599 time to talk with Veterans Radio today, Anthony. 00:22:36.470 --> 00:22:38.769 Thank you sir. It's a pleasure to be here and 00:22:38.769 --> 00:22:43.269 honor Jim. And I want to thank everybody for 00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:46.490 listening to Veterans Radio today. I am Jim Fossone. 00:22:46.970 --> 00:22:49.369 It's been a pleasure to be your host. I'm a Veterans 00:22:49.369 --> 00:22:52.069 Disability Lawyer at Legal Help for Veterans 00:22:52.069 --> 00:22:59.230 and you can reach us at 800 -6934800 or legalhelpforveterans 00:22:59.230 --> 00:23:02.380 .com on the web. 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