1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,360 Have you ever considered how the notion of control might actually be an illusion? 2 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:10,360 I mean, shaping our reality in ways we can barely grasp? 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:15,960 Think about the times you felt completely in charge, completely in control. 4 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:20,840 Whether it be making a critical decision, navigating a relationship, and if you're a 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:25,160 guy, it was completely an illusion of control. 6 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,120 And you know what I'm talking about. 7 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,000 Or maybe it was managing a project. 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,240 How do these experiences of apparent control influence you? 9 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,240 How do they make you feel? 10 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:40,120 How did it, how did it be filling in control or being in control make you feel? 11 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:46,000 These sensations of having control often give us a profound sense of security and purpose. 12 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:52,200 Yet if we look closer, we might find that our grasp on control is far less concrete than 13 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,560 we actually believe. 14 00:00:54,560 --> 00:01:01,000 It's intriguing to uncover just how much of what we think we control is really out 15 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 of our hands. 16 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:12,120 I mean, that's fascinating. 17 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:16,440 Welcome to Life Unscripted, where we peel back the layers of what we've always taken 18 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,080 for granted and question whether any of it is as it seems. 19 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,480 I'm Allen Stafford, your host and navigator on this journey into the depths of our perceptions 20 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,960 today. 21 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:30,040 We delve into the powerful and pervasive illusion of control. 22 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:38,000 How it governs us, fools us, and at times, enlightens us. 23 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:45,880 All right, folks, today what we're going to do is explore how our desire for control 24 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:52,240 permeates every facet of our lives from the mundane to the monumental. 25 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,600 And I'm talking monumental. 26 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,040 That just sounded cool to say it that way. 27 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:03,680 We strive to steer our destinies, manage our environments, and predict outcomes all under 28 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,600 this illusion that we have that reigns firmly in our hand. 29 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,480 It's this control, this illusion of control. 30 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,120 But how much control do we really have? 31 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,120 Do we even have control? 32 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:21,080 And what happens when we confront the reality that much of our control is in fact, you guessed 33 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,080 it, just an illusion. 34 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,160 But here's the thing. 35 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:29,560 Understanding the illusion of control is more than an intellectual exercise. 36 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:33,200 It's a journey towards personal freedom and resilience. 37 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:38,920 In recognizing the limits of our control, we can let go of unnecessary stress and focus 38 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:44,760 on what truly matters, how we respond to the world around us. 39 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:49,200 This awareness is especially critical in a world that feels increasingly unpredictable 40 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:54,080 and chaotic, and I'm talking extra chaotic nowadays, folks. 41 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:59,240 By acknowledging the boundaries of our influence, we can find peace and empower ourselves to 42 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,800 navigate life more effectively and with genuine intention. 43 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:11,000 Join me as we now talk about what is the illusion of control? 44 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,760 So what is the illusion of control? 45 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,280 I mean, control is something we all strive for, right? 46 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:21,920 And we think we have when we're making decisions, everyday decisions, and interacting with others 47 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,200 and ourselves, we think we're in control. 48 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,440 But really, it's an illusion. 49 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,880 Most of it's an illusion. 50 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,960 Life is an illusion, in my opinion. 51 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,880 But the illusion of control is actually a cognitive bias. 52 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:41,440 And it's where individuals, basically we humans, overestimate our ability to control events 53 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,920 and outcomes that are largely outside of our influence. 54 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,240 I mean, think about it. 55 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,680 What are some of the situations that you've tried to control today, and if it's morning 56 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,080 where you're at? 57 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:56,040 Yesterday, what are some areas you've tried to control? 58 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,880 You know, was it a conversation? 59 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,560 Was it a decision at work? 60 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,400 Was it just where you were going to go eat? 61 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,360 Or what you were going to go eat? 62 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,200 I always try to control what I'm going to eat, but unfortunately it controls me when 63 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,560 I walk past a bag of chips. 64 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,440 It's got some gravitational pull, sucks me in. 65 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,800 So to understand the illusion of control, we've got to go back to 1975. 66 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:21,520 This concept was first identified by psychologist Ellen Langer. 67 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:27,440 She did some research that demonstrated that people tend to confuse skill solutions, or 68 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:32,560 their skill situations, with chance situations. 69 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:38,200 Basically attributing success to their ability, even when outcomes are random or influenced 70 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,200 by external forces. 71 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:43,080 I mean, you'd probably know people if you sit down and think about it for a moment. 72 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:48,280 You'd probably know people that think the situations they control are based on their 73 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,200 own skill set when it's really random. 74 00:04:51,200 --> 00:05:00,520 I mean, gamblers, gamblers often believe they can influence the role of dice or the 75 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:06,680 outcome of a card game through rituals or these lucky charms that they carry with them. 76 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:12,120 Ever sit on a poker table or a blackjack table and someone says they have a strategy 77 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,120 and they can beat the house. 78 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,800 They think they have this control, but they don't have this control because really the 79 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,160 house is going to beat them nine times out of ten. 80 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,880 I would say the house is in control, not the gambler. 81 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:31,680 Yeah, so this notion goes back to 1975, or the concept I should say. 82 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:36,960 And basically the fact that we believe that we have more influence over events and outcomes 83 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,200 than we actually do. 84 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:42,960 And again, it can apply to a wide range of situations from everyday decisions to significant 85 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:43,960 life events. 86 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,840 I mean, we think we can control the weather. 87 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:50,520 Some people think they can control the weather through, well, look at Native Americans, they 88 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:51,920 could do rain dances, right? 89 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,800 They thought they could bring in the rain and they can control that. 90 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,360 I mean, that's all part of the illusion of control. 91 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:02,840 And when something happens, if someone, let's take it, let's go back and use the Native 92 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:09,200 Americans as an example, doing rain dances, and then all of a sudden it rains and they 93 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:15,200 believe they were in control of that when that was really just luck or just weather 94 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,040 because of the season. 95 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:22,120 But then they began to believe that because of that result, they can continue to do that. 96 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,080 The same thing happens to a gambler. 97 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:28,880 Just look at a gambler who keeps winning one role after the next role. 98 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,360 They believe that their ritual, that they're in total control of that. 99 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,840 So what happens when they lose? 100 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:36,840 They don't blame themselves. 101 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,440 Like I'll tell you that. 102 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,320 But here's the reality behind it. 103 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:44,320 When you think you have this control, especially in gambling or maybe in your relationship 104 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:49,320 or in communication or some sort of outcome at work, the outcomes are typically governed 105 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:54,040 by some sort of external factor that's beyond your direct influence or control. 106 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,040 I mean, think about it. 107 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,520 Even at work, if you're making decisions, are you making decisions in a vacuum by yourself? 108 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,320 No, you're making decisions as part of a team. 109 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:07,600 That team has an impact on you, an influential impact on you, your boss, your peers, your 110 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,560 subordinates, whatever role you're playing at work, it has an impact on your decision 111 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,600 making, whether it be conscious or subconscious. 112 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,640 So you're not really making that decision that you think you're making because you've 113 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,400 already been influenced. 114 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:26,480 And this bias that we have, this illusion of control bias basically comes from our need, 115 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,800 our human need to predict and control our environment. 116 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,760 We like to be in control of things. 117 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,320 I mean, there's a quote that goes, chaos is the law of nature. 118 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,760 In order is the dream of man. 119 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,800 And with order requires control. 120 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,520 You have to control your environment. 121 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,960 We try to control everything on this planet. 122 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:49,160 Man tries to control everything, and yet they control nothing. 123 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,880 It's all an illusion to them. 124 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:54,080 They try to control the weather by creating weather models and predicting it. 125 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,380 How many times has the weather been right? 126 00:07:56,380 --> 00:08:00,520 This last year here in Southern California, where I live, the weather has not been right. 127 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,560 It would say it's going to rain and it doesn't even rain. 128 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:07,320 They say it's not going to rain and then it rains. 129 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:12,160 So there's an illusion of control by the weather forecasters that they can control that. 130 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,960 But as I was saying, the bias stems from our need to predict and control our environment, 131 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:22,920 which is basically rooted in our survival instincts, our desire or just our need to survive in 132 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:27,080 order to control our environment, to stay safe, and then the whole idea of control is 133 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:33,280 perpetuated by cultural narratives that emphasize mastery and autonomy. 134 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:39,120 We basically teach this to our offspring and hand this down from culture to culture, from 135 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:45,280 generation to generation, that we can control certain situations because we have this need 136 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,160 to master it, this need for autonomy. 137 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,800 Folks, I've got news for you. 138 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,320 We were animals like any other animal. 139 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,760 We just happened to be a little smarter. 140 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,240 And I'm not even sure sometimes we're smarter. 141 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,840 I think animals might be a lot smarter than humans. 142 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:07,120 So going back to the psychologist Ellen Langner back in 1975 and her research, she did a research, 143 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:11,040 she did a study called the lottery ticket study, which basically showed that participants 144 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:16,280 who chose their own lottery numbers rated their chances of winning as higher than those 145 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,600 who received random numbers. 146 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,520 Basically this illustrated an inflated sense of personal control. 147 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:29,720 Either way you do it, whether you pick your numbers or you have it randomly generated, 148 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,600 it's all chance. 149 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,240 You're not controlling anything. 150 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:38,080 But yet people who felt they picked their own numbers basically controlled what they 151 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:42,080 wrote down for the ticket felt that they had a better chance of winning because they were 152 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:46,160 in control of their numbers, which is kind of funny if you think about it because if 153 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,880 you really analyze it, it's all luck, right? 154 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,880 Same thing with gambling. 155 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:51,880 It's all luck. 156 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,760 Yet people think they're in control and investors are the same way. 157 00:09:55,760 --> 00:10:00,280 The market folks, the market, the stock market is an unpredictable beast. 158 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:07,280 You can simply say with some degree of certainty and I'm saying some degree, which is a small 159 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:12,360 degree that the stock market is going to perform in a certain way over time, but you can't 160 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,840 predict the market. 161 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,080 You don't know if it's going to be up or down the next day. 162 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:21,200 You can make an assumption based on historical data and companies that you're looking at, 163 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,880 but investors believe that they can predict the market movements or the success of stocks 164 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,680 based on past trends or their gut feelings. 165 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,880 How does your gut tell you what's going to happen? 166 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:35,240 Unless you have to go to the bathroom, then that's going to tell you what's going to happen. 167 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:40,520 But they basically ignore broader market unpredictability just assuming that their guts going to tell 168 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:46,480 them or past trends are going to tell them what the market's going to be in the future 169 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,920 and they're able to control their investments and when they lose, they're like, what happened 170 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,920 to me? 171 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:56,320 The problem is you thought you were in control of that and you're not because it's unpredictable. 172 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,320 It's all unpredictable. 173 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,680 It's all luck and chance and randomness. 174 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:08,200 Even driving, this is a good one too because this one here kind of deals with faith and 175 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:13,280 I'm talking faith and humanity, but drivers may feel they have complete control over their 176 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,760 safety by their driving skills alone. 177 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,040 I mean, I think I've felt prey to that too. 178 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:23,720 I think I've been driving for so many decades that I feel like I'm total control of my driving 179 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:31,680 when I'm really not because I know in the back of my head that the concoming car can 180 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:36,360 swerve and hit me head on, but drivers tend to think that they have total control of their 181 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:42,720 vehicle because of their driving skill despite unpredictability and road conditions. 182 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:47,880 It was just last week that I was driving from Southern California to Phoenix, Arizona and 183 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,960 something in the road hit my truck, but it didn't look like there was anything in the 184 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:52,960 road when I was driving. 185 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:53,960 Was I paying attention? 186 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:54,960 I don't know. 187 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:59,280 I was probably listening to a podcast or something, but I heard it and I got a little concerned 188 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,720 and I began to think, how did I not see that? 189 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,960 I'm in control of my driving. 190 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:03,960 I'm the one driving. 191 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,460 I'm experienced. 192 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:07,060 But again, it was just an illusion, right? 193 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:11,760 Because I'm not paying attention to the road or what could be in the road. 194 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:16,560 And I'm assuming that the other drivers are going to be playing it safe when any number 195 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:17,560 of things can go wrong. 196 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,400 They can have a heart attack. 197 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:24,600 They can just be on a suicide mission, whatever the case is, and all of a sudden you get into 198 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,600 a wreck. 199 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,720 Where's your control there? 200 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,720 You don't have the control. 201 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,240 So it's all an illusion. 202 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,240 And here's the kicker, folks. 203 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,280 I don't know if you're familiar with David Kahneman. 204 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:41,640 Kahneman is a psychologist and he wrote the book, wrote several books, but one of the 205 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:46,480 books that he's written that I recommend reading is Thinking Fast and Slow. 206 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:52,000 But studies that he's done in finance demonstrate how overconfidence and the illusion of control 207 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:57,120 can lead to riskier behaviors and decision making failures. 208 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:01,480 So if you go around with this illusion that you have complete control and you ignore, 209 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:08,600 negate randomness and unpredictability, don't take that into consideration, it can continue 210 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:13,480 to fester in your mind and lead you to more riskier behaviors. 211 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:19,520 And again, those decision making failures, hence the gambler who wins, wins, wins, wins 212 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,840 and loses and just goes, what happened? 213 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,600 How did I lose? 214 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:24,600 And then they'll go back. 215 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,880 Okay, well, I've feel lucky again. 216 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,000 I can control this. 217 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000 I can control the dice. 218 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000 Yes, I'm back on. 219 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,920 I can see the rabbit's foot and then again they lose. 220 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,200 I mean, all of this is fascinating to me. 221 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:43,020 I hope it's fascinating to you as well because what we think we have a solid foundation on 222 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:47,600 and that is this control, we, in fact, it's an illusion. 223 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,800 It's not even something we can control. 224 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,120 We can't control everything. 225 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:57,360 We can't control certain aspects of our life yet we think we can, but it has an impact 226 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,360 on our life too. 227 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:03,560 You know, there's a psychological component of falling prey to this illusion of control. 228 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,480 Well, a little bit of it. 229 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:10,760 Psychologists believe that a moderate level of the illusion of control can boost our self-esteem 230 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:11,880 and I can see how that works. 231 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,280 You know, I feel like I'm control. 232 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:14,280 I do a little winning. 233 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,560 I'm good at what I'm doing. 234 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,160 I'm going to keep doing it. 235 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:23,640 However, despite boosting your self-esteem and motivation and self-esteem and motivation 236 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:28,840 and excess belief in your personal control can lead to frustration, disappointment and 237 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,600 stress. 238 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:35,800 And you guessed it, when outcomes are uncontrollable, going back to my gambler example, when, when, 239 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,600 when, when up start losing. 240 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:38,600 What happens? 241 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:43,760 Frustration, desperation, the gambler's dilemma comes into play where I am going to keep playing 242 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,360 until I win back my money and you never win back your money. 243 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,960 If you're a gambler, you know what I'm talking about. 244 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:54,040 And if you're not a gambler, count your blessings. 245 00:14:54,040 --> 00:15:01,160 And here's another downside to harboring this sense of control all the time. 246 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:08,400 The illusion can skew risk management leading to poor decisions in critical situations. 247 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:13,000 As an example, I'll give you for overconfidence in your driving ability might lead to well, 248 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:17,000 less caution driving on the roads. 249 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:21,200 Because you're overconfident in your ability to drive, you may relax a little bit more, 250 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:26,880 not pay attention as much, drive with one hand, speed, you know, get on your cell phone, 251 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,240 text while you drive and thinking, oh, I'm a great driver. 252 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,400 I've been driving for 30 years. 253 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,960 I can do this. 254 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,880 I mean, it can lead to poor decision making. 255 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:42,480 So the key takeaway is that while control, this illusion of control that we have in moderation 256 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:47,160 can help boost our self-esteem and our motivation. 257 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:52,320 However, if we don't take into consideration, if we don't take into consideration, folks, 258 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:58,880 the risks involved, the unpredictability nature of life itself and events itself, it can lead 259 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:06,560 to frustration, to anger, to disappointment, and to bad decision making, which can lead 260 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:10,240 us in all kinds of negative directions. 261 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:15,120 So when looking at this illusion of control, when looking at a situation where you feel 262 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,440 like you're in control, think about it. 263 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,760 Ask yourself, am I really in control? 264 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,480 Or is there a chance involved in this? 265 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,840 Is it what I'm dealing with? 266 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,480 Is it unpredictable? 267 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,680 Is there a science behind it that's ironclad? 268 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:34,800 And the chances are, or the odds against that are really slim that there aren't. 269 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:41,920 But individuals like you and I, as people, we're not the only ones engaged in this illusion 270 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,400 of control. 271 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,960 Wars have started out as a result of the illusion of control. 272 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:51,360 And we'll talk about that, the historical and philosophical perspectives of this illusion 273 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:52,360 of control. 274 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,360 Next. 275 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:58,360 And folks, throughout history, the illusion of control has often led to, well, significant 276 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,920 societal and global events. 277 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:06,360 Let's take a look at the Great Depression in the United States back in 1929. 278 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:12,600 This is a result of overconfidence in the stock market, which was fueled by the illusion 279 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:16,800 of control and led to the reckless investment. 280 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:25,880 And ultimately, the crash, the market crash, basically impoverishing hundreds of thousands 281 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,920 of citizens in the United States. 282 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,680 And it had a global impact as well. 283 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:38,400 However, it was the overconfidence in a market that is unpredictable, but they felt they 284 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:44,440 had this control over the market, which led to this disastrous economic downturn in the 285 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:51,160 economy leaving tens of thousands of people without work, hungry homes. 286 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:57,000 It was just, it was just something that could have been avoided had they understood the 287 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,760 unpredictability of the market. 288 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,320 The same thing happened in 2008 with the financial crisis. 289 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,520 I mean, most of us, if not all of us were around for that, we're not, I don't have any 290 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,880 five-year-olds or six-year-olds listening to the show, I hope not. 291 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:18,360 But the 2008 financial crisis led to another worldwide, not just here in the United States, 292 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,480 but worldwide economic downturn. 293 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:26,840 And this is because major financial institutions believe they could, they could control the 294 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:33,320 complex financial instruments like derivatives, which led to the disastrous economic consequences 295 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,320 globally. 296 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,680 Again, thinking you can control something. 297 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:44,000 See here's the thing, if you ever get a chance, learn about complexity, because large systems 298 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:50,080 like finances, government, even birds are complex systems. 299 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:55,240 They basically take a life of their own, and they're very unpredictable. 300 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,440 They're hard to predict. 301 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:01,560 They move in and out, you know, up and down, good and bad. 302 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,760 They're very unpredictable. 303 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:12,080 One small miner, it's like driving a vehicle 80 miles an hour on the highway, or 120 kilometers 304 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,000 an hour on the highway. 305 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:20,400 And you hit a rock and you overcompensate to try to keep the car in control and you lose 306 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,120 control. 307 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,720 But he's a say, operates under the same type of principle. 308 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:32,440 Everything can be smooth, but one small little hiccup can change the trajectory. 309 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:37,600 I can say the word trajectory of your original course. 310 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,120 So the same thing happens with the stock market. 311 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:43,080 You could, you can develop this confidence in the stock market. 312 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,760 The stock market can be going up. 313 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:50,000 You feel you can control certain financial investment tools or instruments. 314 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:57,160 But yet one small thing can throw a wrench in the entire process and derail you that 315 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,280 fast. 316 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,320 And that's the unpredictability of it. 317 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:05,320 And that's where we fail to see as humans and take into account. 318 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:09,720 And that's where we get this illusion of control, where we think we can control the situation 319 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,000 when we really cannot. 320 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:17,400 We're playing risk, playing basically Russian roulette, putting you around into a revolver 321 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:22,000 and spinning it and going, I hope I don't shoot myself. 322 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,440 And that's what happens. 323 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,600 And what about war? 324 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,840 War is the same thing. 325 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,120 You know, let's take a look at Vietnam. 326 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:34,760 The United States government's belief in military superiority and control over the conflict 327 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:40,160 led to unforeseen and prolonged engagement in Vietnam. 328 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,080 They, their belief in their superiority. 329 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:47,360 I mean, the Bay of Pigs invasion was basically mistaken confidence in the ability to control 330 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:53,200 the outcome of the invasion, which led to their major political and military embarrassment. 331 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,960 And the Bay of Pigs down here in Cuba, back in the 60s. 332 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,160 And what do we see right now in Ukraine? 333 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,560 Russia invading Ukraine. 334 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:07,840 Putin thought he can go in and resolve this issue that he had, whatever the issue in his 335 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:12,760 mind was thinking that Ukraine is part of Russia and he wanted to take it over. 336 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:18,080 He felt he can resolve that in just a few days time, we're over what, a year more than 337 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,640 a year into this war. 338 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,000 And they haven't gained much. 339 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,920 They gained, they lose, they gain, they lose with hundreds of thousands of troops dead. 340 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:35,280 Again, overconfidence, this illusion of confidence, this illusion in his military, which we found 341 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:41,640 out that a lot of his men didn't want to fight, you know, which led it to this, to this day, 342 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:42,640 hundreds of. 343 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,120 I don't know how many people have dead, but tens of thousands of people, civilians have 344 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,240 died as a result of that. 345 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:52,960 And this again is poor decision making based on this illusion of control that they have 346 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,760 because they have a superior military and they don't. 347 00:21:55,760 --> 00:22:01,320 But this goes to almost any government, this overconfidence in their government. 348 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:07,200 I think we would get along better as humanity if we weren't overconfident and if we understood 349 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:11,880 that we don't really have control and that we tried to work with one another and try 350 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:19,000 to understand and navigate the uncertainties of life itself, I think would be better off. 351 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:26,920 But I think these historical examples can tie into a philosophical debate about human 352 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,160 agency and human control. 353 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,840 I mean, take Fate versus Free Will. 354 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,040 We did a whole podcast on Free Will. 355 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,120 This whole idea of free will. 356 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:43,960 So the idea, the philosophical idea that determinism about the philosophical idea of determinism, 357 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,600 this whole concept of determinism, which argues that all events, including our actions, our 358 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:55,200 human actions are determined by causes external to our will, basically arguing that we perceive 359 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,960 Free Will as an actual illusion. 360 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,400 So we don't even have control over that. 361 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:09,400 It's all determined, predetermined, then again, if you go to the other side, libertarianism, 362 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:14,360 which their viewpoint is that humans do possess Free Will, you know, which allows for genuine 363 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:19,640 control over their decisions, contrasting very sharply with the deterministic view. 364 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:26,320 So you have two different ideologies in philosophy here about free will and the illusion of control, 365 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:33,040 whereas determinism basically dictates that everything's predetermined, and it's a result 366 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,800 of external factors and the free will does not exist. 367 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:45,280 So therefore, you have no control at all to liberal libertarianism where free will exists 368 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:50,200 and you have total control when you don't have when basically debunking the illusion 369 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,240 of control. 370 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:56,280 And then there's the modern philosophical perspectives, existentialism, which argues 371 00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:03,480 that humans are condemned to be free, they're responsible for every action, which in itself 372 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,720 is a radical form of control. 373 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:06,840 And then there's compatibilism. 374 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:11,200 Again, we talked about this in a previous podcast on free will. 375 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:15,880 And compatibilism is the theory that reconciles free will with determinism, suggesting that 376 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:24,000 free will exists and is compatible with determinism, which basically argues that free will is simply 377 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:28,520 the freedom to act according to one's determinative motives and desires. 378 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:39,240 So you have different philosophical perspectives on the idea of control through our ability 379 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,000 to have free will or not have free will. 380 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,920 So that's all over the board as well. 381 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,400 That's all over the place too. 382 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:51,480 So basically the takeaway is that reflecting on how the historical events and philosophical 383 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,240 thoughts challenge our everyday understanding of control. 384 00:24:54,240 --> 00:25:00,520 So the key takeaway here is looking back at the historical events and how philosophical 385 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:05,760 thought both challenge our everyday understanding of control. 386 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,120 Here it's almost like a struggle. 387 00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:08,440 We do this automatically. 388 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,920 We feel we have control automatically. 389 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,520 If we're going to dive deep into it, then we begin to struggle. 390 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,360 We begin to think, do we have that control? 391 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,320 Do we not have that control? 392 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,560 Is it just an illusion? 393 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:24,760 Whereas history shows it as an illusion almost because it's overconfidence. 394 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:29,840 Even when we talk about it in everyday life, like gambling, investments, driving, we have 395 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,320 this overconfidence, this illusion that we can control. 396 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:38,760 But yet philosophically, some philosophies believe that we do have free will. 397 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:39,760 We do have control. 398 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:46,200 Whereas other ones believe that we don't, that there's deterministic events that are 399 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,200 predetermined. 400 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:48,440 So what is it? 401 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,440 Isn't it? 402 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,440 It gets more confusing. 403 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:55,320 But I think the bottom line is it comes down to you. 404 00:25:55,320 --> 00:26:01,080 How do you see your ability to control situations? 405 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,560 Do you feel that you're overconfident when you're controlling or trying to control a 406 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,280 situation or you have this sense of control? 407 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,280 How does that make you feel? 408 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,040 Does it empower you to have this sense of control? 409 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:17,640 And when you go about thinking about control, when you go about thinking about control, 410 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:22,720 take into consideration the unpredictability of nature itself, the events itself, the situation 411 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,600 in which you're trying to control. 412 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:30,200 If you could balance the two out, I think you can be successful in your goals. 413 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,360 And what about the control in modern society? 414 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,920 Looking back at history, it's easy. 415 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,600 But what about control nowadays? 416 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,920 Control in the digital age. 417 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:45,360 Folks, I'm going to tell you, most of you are smart to know this. 418 00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:47,880 And I hope everybody listening is smart to know this. 419 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:54,360 But the digital age has transformed our perception of control specifically through the use of 420 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,440 technology and the internet. 421 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,920 And let's take the first one, social media. 422 00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:03,920 Social media, I think is like a disease. 423 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:08,920 I don't even think it's necessary evil, like employees with an company is one boss one 424 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,240 time put it. 425 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,960 His employees are a necessary evil. 426 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:19,720 Social media, these platforms give users the illusion of control over their social environments 427 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:27,920 and their self image, basically through their curated profiles and selective sharing. 428 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:32,480 I mean, on social media, you can be anything, anyone in your life can be dandy. 429 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:33,480 It can be great. 430 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,320 It can be awesome. 431 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,320 But is it really? 432 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,800 And what about the pressure? 433 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:44,000 What about the pressure, the psychological impact of this perceived control? 434 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,640 It adds pressure to manage your online personas. 435 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,800 You have to stay on top of that. 436 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:56,120 And this is why I don't post on social media, unless it's business related. 437 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,800 And I rarely do that too. 438 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:03,360 It's because you have to create that you have this pressure to live up to this illusion that 439 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:05,720 you've created for yourself on social media. 440 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:12,720 And data analytics also plays a heavy role in this illusion of control because it creates 441 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:18,320 these personalized algorithms that can make you feel like you have more control over your 442 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,560 choices. 443 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,560 But it's all being fed to you folks. 444 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,840 When you're when you're flipping through social media and you stop and look at, let's 445 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,880 say some cute little cats videos. 446 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,160 Next thing you know, you're seeing a bunch of cat videos. 447 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,680 That's not a choice you have. 448 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,600 That's the algorithm saying this is what you like. 449 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,640 This is what we're showing you. 450 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:38,640 Switch it up a bit. 451 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:42,360 Watch something else for a little while and you'll see those pop up constantly. 452 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:48,680 And the same thing if you ever shop from Amazon and it gives you suggestions and then you 453 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,960 pick that suggestion and go, I think I need that. 454 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,360 You feel like you had a choice in that, but really the choice was forced upon you because 455 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,120 you would have never thought about that unless the algorithm decided, hey, they may like 456 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:00,720 this item too. 457 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,800 And you know what all this leads to folks? 458 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:09,080 All this digital technology in the excess of use of digital tools that purport to give 459 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,000 you control. 460 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:15,080 It leads to stress and decision fatigue. 461 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:20,320 If you're constantly on it, you're constantly trying to update and maintain your persona 462 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:27,720 and in shopping, you're going to get fatigued, you're going to get stressed. 463 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,760 You're not going to know what decisions to make because you're so tired of making decisions 464 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:36,440 and you're not really making them because they're forced upon you through the algorithm. 465 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,440 And here's another thing. 466 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,840 If you've never heard of this concept, the paradox of choice. 467 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:46,680 This is a study by Barry Schwartz who did a research on choice and the abundance of 468 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:47,680 choice. 469 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:53,920 So many choices, folks, leads to decision fatigue itself. 470 00:29:53,920 --> 00:30:01,880 But these digital platforms, especially e-commerce stores and the TikTok with its shopping and 471 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:08,880 its constant pushing out by this, by that, it increases your anxiety. 472 00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:12,080 And again, it increases decision fatigue. 473 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:17,840 And while the study argues, theoretically, having these options are empowering, it does 474 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:22,480 lead to greater dissatisfaction and stress because of the increased pressure again to 475 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:23,680 make the optimal choice. 476 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,240 You're always looking to make the best choice. 477 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,360 But you can't because there's too many choices to make. 478 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,520 You don't really have control over any of that. 479 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,440 And yet you think you do. 480 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:41,800 And as a result of that illusion of control and the paradox of choice and social media 481 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,080 and technology, you're burning yourself out, folks. 482 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,240 You're burning yourself out. 483 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:54,640 Here's a study that may not seem like it falls into the illusion of control, but it actually 484 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,840 does the impact of email and messaging on work stress. 485 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:03,440 They've done some studies on this back in 2008 and explored how constant email interruptions 486 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,920 can lead to increased stress and decreased productivity. 487 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:11,120 I don't know if you are one of those people that gets an email and has to respond right 488 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,120 away. 489 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,400 I'm going to tell you, I'm not that person. 490 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,200 I used to be that person. 491 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,080 An email would come in, I would have to stop, respond quickly. 492 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:22,840 It would lead to less productivity by me because I'm sitting there constantly responding to 493 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,920 emails all day long. 494 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,840 I respond two or three times a day of that. 495 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:32,160 I sit down once in the morning, maybe once in the afternoon, once later on in the evening, 496 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,160 and that's it. 497 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,480 Unless of course I'm expecting something from somebody and they say, hey, I'm sending you 498 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:38,480 an email on this. 499 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,080 Can you take a look at it? 500 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,920 That's a little different because I have an expectation that that's coming. 501 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:44,280 I need to give it my attention. 502 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,440 But other than that, just general email, I don't pay attention to. 503 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:52,400 However, the research has found that the pressure to respond quickly and the disruption caused 504 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,560 by frequent alerts contribute significantly to stress. 505 00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,560 Again, decision fatigue because now you've got to decide which ones you're going to respond 506 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:01,560 to. 507 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,720 Why is this relevant to the illusion of control? 508 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:09,080 Well, it demonstrates that the downside of digital tools that are designed to enhance 509 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:13,760 communication and control overwork tasks. 510 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:18,160 And why is this relevant to the illusion of control? 511 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:24,560 Well, it demonstrates the downside of digital tools that are designed to enhance communication 512 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,080 and control overwork tasks. 513 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:34,480 Because those digital tools take away from your ability to do other things such as work, 514 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:40,360 illusion that you're in control of your work and your communication. 515 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:46,800 And then you have workplace dynamics, this control work and control. 516 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:54,480 There's an illusion of the illusion of control manifests in the workplace settings, basically 517 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:58,760 affecting everything from project management to employee relationships. 518 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,720 I mean, you have leaders. 519 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,720 There's different leadership styles that deal with control. 520 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,640 There's the autocratic leader. 521 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:10,600 How many people have worked for an autocratic leader that enforces strict control and believing 522 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,920 that this strict control leads to efficiency? 523 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,440 I don't think it does. 524 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:21,080 I've worked with a few autocratic leaders and all it does is it pisses people off. 525 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:26,120 It demotivates them, devalues them, and you have a high turnover rate. 526 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:32,720 But yet they have this sense, this feeling that this total control leads to productivity 527 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,240 and it doesn't. 528 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:35,240 Then you have the opposite. 529 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:42,120 You have a democratic leaders that offer more autonomy, basically, and they foster a shared 530 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:43,960 illusion of control among team members. 531 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:49,080 So now we have a shared level of illusion of control by everybody. 532 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:54,080 So everybody thinks they're in control when nobody really is in control. 533 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,320 I'm sorry, I find that fascinating. 534 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:57,400 But there is research. 535 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:01,240 There is research that shows that employees who feel they have more control over their 536 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:06,120 work and their schedules tend to be happier and more productive. 537 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:12,560 So if you can create a democratic leadership style within your organization and give people 538 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:18,840 this illusion of control over their working environment and working conditions, they tend 539 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,640 to be happier and more productive. 540 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:26,280 There are many studies out that show that versus autocratic leadership where everything 541 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,080 is controlled, taking that away from the employee. 542 00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:34,000 So an illusion of control in this sense is good, even though they may not be able to 543 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:38,040 control everything in a work environment because there's so many different factors that need 544 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,360 to come into play. 545 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,720 Like decision makers need to get involved. 546 00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:47,520 If a decision needs to be made, finance, you know, a whole host of other reasons. 547 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,240 But yet you give them this sense of control. 548 00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:56,000 Your people tend to be happier and they become more productive because they feel like they're 549 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,000 empowered. 550 00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,040 They have some say, some skin in the game, so to speak. 551 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,280 And then there's control in relationships. 552 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:07,040 Oh boy, that's a loaded one. 553 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:12,880 I mean, people need, have this need for control that can shape their personal relationships, 554 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:16,800 potentially leading to dynamics of dominance and dependency. 555 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:20,780 How many people do you know in relationships that dominate their relationship? 556 00:35:20,780 --> 00:35:22,160 You might be that person. 557 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:26,960 Or maybe you're the person who is dependent because someone has dominated you in a relationship. 558 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:32,840 I mean, the old traditional, the man is a breadwinner and a woman stays at home is that 559 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:37,760 kind of a dynamic, that illusion of control where the man controls the household and the 560 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,400 woman just does what he says. 561 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:41,960 That's like old school thinking. 562 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,920 That's archaic. 563 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:48,120 But yet that's a big part of controlling relationships. 564 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:53,600 And it still happens today, today, and many cultures around the world and control even 565 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,040 affects communication within relationships. 566 00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:01,240 For example, you know, one of the partner may dominate decisions influencing everything 567 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:06,280 from daily plans to life choices, which can lead to what? 568 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:07,920 Resentment and conflict. 569 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:13,320 How many times have you argued or you've known people argued or your parents have argued 570 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:20,280 because one, maybe your dad or maybe the man is trying to invoke control over a situation 571 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,000 with the woman. 572 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,120 Like this is what we're going to do and that's it. 573 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,160 I think if you're looking for an unhealthy relationship in anything, whether it be a 574 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:33,000 work or personal, then go ahead and exert that, uh, exert that control. 575 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:38,360 But if you want to, if you want to have a healthy relationship and healthy interactions, 576 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:48,240 balance control, learn to give and take understanding that this whole illusion of control doesn't 577 00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:52,000 work in a relationship successfully most of the time. 578 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:57,320 I can't say all of the time, but most of the time, and that's because one person's always 579 00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:04,200 going to be submissive or subordinate to the one that's in control and that leads to conflict 580 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,960 and that leads to anger, resentment. 581 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:13,440 So to have a healthier relationship, you want to foster mutual respect and compromise within 582 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:19,480 the relationship, avoiding that, that sense of need for control because it really is an 583 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:23,640 illusion, you're not really in control because you're dealing with another human being who 584 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:28,000 has feelings and who will react to those feelings, which will derail the relationship. 585 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:33,080 So as we've seen so far, the illusion of control pervades various aspects of our modern life, 586 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:39,060 from our digital interactions to workplace dynamics in our personal relationships. 587 00:37:39,060 --> 00:37:47,480 This illusion of control has a, can have a detrimental impact on all of these on us psychologically, 588 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:53,840 but the thing about consider where you might be seeking control and unhealthy ways. 589 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,960 Think about this here in your daily life. 590 00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:04,800 How are you seeking control and unhealthy ways and recognize this and recognizing this 591 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:10,440 illusion of control that you have in these areas may improve your interactions and your 592 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:11,920 well-being. 593 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,960 Think about it. 594 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:23,120 Think a survey or analyze or jot down daily where you think you're exhibiting this illusion 595 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:29,000 of control on other people in your relationships and ask yourself, if I approach this differently, 596 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:32,680 if I took into consideration the other person understanding that I can't control the situation 597 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,800 because there's other dynamics involved, would I have a better outcome? 598 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,520 Would my life be more peaceful? 599 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,400 Would everyone be more harmonious together? 600 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,040 These are some things to think about. 601 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:47,320 When I come back, folks, we're going to talk about how to cope with the illusion of control, 602 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,520 ways to deal with it. 603 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:53,720 When you feel like you want to control and you're getting frustrated because you're not 604 00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:57,640 in control, we're going to talk about that when we come back. 605 00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,160 Okay, folks. 606 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:04,120 So listen, we all deal with this here illusion of control where we think we're in control 607 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,680 when we're really not, but we have this illusion that we are. 608 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:12,160 And when we continue to persist with this illusion of control, it can end up causing 609 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:20,280 us all kinds of mental health psychological issues, frustration, anger, resentment, making 610 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:25,680 poor decisions, which can ultimately lead to loss of finances and maybe marriages and 611 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:26,880 what have you. 612 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,160 Those are some extreme cases, but it happens. 613 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:30,160 It happens daily. 614 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:34,760 And if you're in government, it could lead to war or financial collapse. 615 00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,800 So how do we deal with this here? 616 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:43,960 First of all, understand and accept that not everything is within your control. 617 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,560 Okay, that's the first step. 618 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,040 Understanding that not everything is within your control and some strategies for releasing 619 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,040 controls. 620 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:52,440 The first thing is prioritization. 621 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:57,560 Learn to differentiate between what you can control and what you cannot, meaning focus 622 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:03,280 on influencing areas that genuinely depend on your actions and then delegate. 623 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:08,320 There are benefits of trusting others to handle tasks, basically relieving the burden 624 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,080 of needing to control every outcome on you. 625 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:13,600 Share the wealth. 626 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:18,120 You know, spread the joy, make everybody else happy, give them some tasks to do. 627 00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,320 So this way you don't feel like you have to control the situation. 628 00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:23,240 I have a boss that feels like she has to control every situation. 629 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:27,600 That's not a good thing always because it leads to frustration, especially on the employees 630 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:34,080 and an acceptance exercise for accepting this need to let go of control. 631 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,040 Here's a simple exercise. 632 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,680 Write down your worries and physically let them go. 633 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,200 And you do this by tearing up the paper. 634 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,520 This is like a symbolic gesture to release control. 635 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:51,800 So basically you're jotting down your worries about having to control and then you're tearing 636 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,720 up that piece of paper. 637 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:57,800 Reason that is a symbolic gesture of releasing control. 638 00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,400 It works for some people. 639 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:00,400 You might try it. 640 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:01,400 You might like it. 641 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,480 It might be effective for you. 642 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,080 And then there's mindfulness folks. 643 00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:08,920 Again, this is something that we hear all the time and it really does work. 644 00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:15,480 It really does help with keeping yourself focused, keeping yourself calm and realizing 645 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:20,000 that you don't have control over everything and that's okay. 646 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:24,960 Just control what you can and be mindful about the rest and let it go. 647 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,600 And then there's cognitive flexibility folks. 648 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:32,480 I mean this is, to me this is probably one of the most important ones. 649 00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:38,880 Your ability to adjust your thinking and expectations in the face of new information or unforeseen 650 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,880 circumstances. 651 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,840 Stay cognitively flexible folks. 652 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,400 It's not, don't be so rigid and try new routines. 653 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:52,160 Be open to different outcomes and learn from each experience. 654 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,680 Basically adapt your behavior. 655 00:41:54,680 --> 00:42:00,440 And another way to shed yourself of this illusion of control or this need for control is to 656 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:01,440 build resilience. 657 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:05,520 And you could do this by setting realistic goals for yourself. 658 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:10,440 You know, developing a support network and developing a positive mindset set to cope 659 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,360 with and recover from setbacks folks. 660 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:17,120 Because you're going to have them, you're going to fail, you're going to have setbacks. 661 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,320 You can't control everything. 662 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,720 Learn to understand that and build a resilience towards it. 663 00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:28,200 And I would encourage you to practice these strategies in very, very small increments. 664 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,280 You know, do it daily. 665 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,280 You know, pick one, do it daily. 666 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,600 This will help you better cope with this illusion of control and the frustration that comes 667 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,600 with it when you can't control everything. 668 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,600 So what did we learn so far today? 669 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:44,160 We basically delved into the psychological origins of this illusion of control and how 670 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:49,240 it plays out in historical society and wars and financial ruins. 671 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:53,840 And specifically in the digital age nowadays with social media, you know, everyone feels 672 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:59,480 like they need to control this perception of themselves constantly updating their social 673 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:03,720 media feeds and then workplace and personal relationships. 674 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:09,520 And we've learned that while feeling the feeling of control can be comforting, it's often more 675 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,040 a psychological construct than a reality. 676 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:18,200 And if we recognize this, we can free us free ourselves from unnecessary stress and begin 677 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:24,200 to open us up to a more genuine interactions with the world around us with the people around 678 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,200 us. 679 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:29,040 And I want to encourage you to take a moment this week to consider where you might be holding 680 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,800 on too tightly, folks. 681 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:37,760 Ask yourself this, in which areas of my life could letting go of control actually increase 682 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:43,160 my peace and fulfillment because embracing uncertainty, folks can be a powerful step 683 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:47,080 towards living a more balanced, inauthentic life. 684 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,720 And with that, I want to thank you for joining me today on Life Unscripted. 685 00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:56,440 It's been a great journey through the intricate landscapes of control and acceptance. 686 00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:01,840 And I hope, and I really do hope that you've found Bible insights to carry into your own 687 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:02,840 lives. 688 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:08,760 And remember, the only constant in life is change and sometimes the best control is knowing 689 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,560 when to let go. 690 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:16,880 Until next time, keep navigating the unpredictability of life with curiosity and courage. 691 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:34,640 I'm Allen Stafford and you've been listening to Life Unscripted.