Alright, welcome beautiful people to the draft spectacular.
We're here eating some boneless wings.
Watching the draft.
He fucked up the wings.
Listen, I did not mess up anything.
You're right, you're right. He got the orders right.
I'm perfect and always. Everyone knows that.
No, the fuck you are not.
I did. The hell no.
Did I mess it up?
Admit it, did I mess it up?
You did mess it up.
Okay then, okay then. Stop talking then.
No, no, no, fuck you.
What?
Here's the thing, okay? Ready for this?
Yeah, go ahead.
You got the orders right.
But at the same time though, you kind of did mix it up.
You wanted Korean BBQ boneless, right?
We got your wings and we got mine wings, yeah.
But they fucked up mine wings though, that's how much bullshit it is.
Well they didn't mess up mine. Maybe they knew not to mess up mine.
Well it's fucking, you know what, I ain't gonna say shit.
This Korean BBQ wings is good, Billy.
Can we go back to the draft?
Yeah.
Because I want to see who the fuck got drafted please.
Yeah, no, draft day spectacular, let's get it.
So we got...
Alright, so obviously we already know who's going to go number one, right?
Huh?
We already know who's going to go number one, right?
Yeah, can you go ahead?
No doubt.
Come on, obvious.
That's the worst kept secret in the NFL.
That kid was one.
Now more interesting, who goes two?
Is it Jane Daniels or is it J.J. McCartney?
Or is it Drake May?
J.J. McCartney's not going on the top.
Is it Drake May or J.J. Daniels or two?
J.J. Daniels two.
So you say that three patriots are getting Drake May?
We'll see how it goes out.
They love their white guys.
Well, yeah.
Exactly, so there you go.
They draft a lot of white receivers.
Do they not?
They do.
While we wait for the draft to start, let's talk about basketball action, shall we?
Oh my gosh.
Yes, you knew I was going to bring it up, didn't you?
Why didn't you prepare for this talk?
See, I hate this motherfucker because...
If you hate me, why are you doing podcasts with me?
Because...
Answer me that.
Landon, I can choke you to where our viewers won't hear you next week.
If you choke me, call 911.
Yeah, but you ain't going to be saying shit.
You're going to be at that little door.
Oh, Eminem, not afraid.
Okay, this guy's dope.
Slim Shady.
Don't take my...
We'll rock this world together.
We're about to end the great talk.
Let's talk about how the Miami Heat dismantled the Boston South Coast.
Y'all got fucking lucky.
It was a fluke more than anything.
We're tied up.
We're tied up going to Miami.
Boo.
Why you boo?
Everyone else is booing.
But why?
Why?
Tell me why.
You think you have to make any...
You're a sheep.
Oh, Eminem's there.
Eminem's at the draft.
Nice.
In the beautiful city of Detroit, Michigan.
He should have done something to the Detroit graphic.
He should.
He very much should.
So what's your thought?
What?
Draft or this?
What?
I missed him in the draft.
So what if I don't like it?
It just started, so...
It just started, but it's not gonna...
I don't like how everyone gave it up.
The viewers can't hear the draft, so we gotta talk to keep them entertained.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So we gotta actually...
This episode, we're coming with shit on the fly.
So like, you can just hear us like authentically.
We're off the tail.
No.
If you don't hear one of us for a while, either one of us went to the bathroom or like...
Yeah.
Well, I went to the bathroom before we started, so I'm probably good for a while.
Just saying.
Oh no.
I've been having no shit lately, so...
Mmm.
Alright, everyone's coming in, I don't know.
All the first round picks are coming out.
I don't think it's first round picks.
I think it's just...
Who is this?
I think it's just Detroit Lions.
Oh, it's Lions players, yeah.
It's literally all the people that...
Oh, Barry Sanders.
Literally all the people that were in that commercial.
Nice.
Barry Sanders.
There's Calvin Johnson, Amon Ra, Aiden Hutchinson, and Barry Sanders.
Bruh.
Aiden Hutchinson's bigger than Calvin Johnson, damn.
What up, Detroit?
Jared Goff.
Jared...
Come on.
I don't need to hear Jared Goff.
You know who I need to hear from you?
What?
I need to hear Jared Carr from you.
Jared Carr.
There you go.
Oh damn, what the fuck?
Oh, do you have a...
Oh!
Damn, I didn't think he was there.
Yeah.
He's got a little bit of a drop.
Let's turn it up.
Yeah.
One day I want to go to the draft just to...
Just to see.
Alright, that would be cool.
Where is it next year?
Mm-hmm.
Look out.
When is the draft next year?
I feel like it's in Green Bay.
Huh?
I feel like it's in Green Bay next year.
Yeah, I feel like it's in Green Bay next year.
2020.
Yeah, it is.
Oh, I was right again.
Another point for me.
Motherfucking no, you...
It didn't even go against that.
Another point.
No, motherfucking, you didn't get zero points for that.
Fuck that.
Why are we voting now?
Because of Roger Goodell.
Whoa, why do people hate Roger Goodell?
Do you hate Goodell?
A little bit.
How much though?
Why?
He just looks very unlikable.
That's me though.
What?
That's just me though.
Dude, why?
I don't understand you.
That's me though.
You can't go off of what I say on that.
On that.
Yeah, because you're stupid.
We must stop this, that.
Motherfucking, it says the person eats boneless wings,
which you might as well call them
chicken nuggets.
Okay, boneless wings, chicken nuggets.
They're two different things.
Motherfucker, I literally showed you off the camera.
Literally the size of the boneless wing from Wingstop
and the chicken nugget from McDonald's.
And they were damn near the same.
We know who the bears are drafting,
so we're going to have this debate right now.
Yeah, we're going to have this fucking debate.
So why are boneless wings and chicken nuggets the same?
If they're called two different things,
what is a boneless wing and what is a chicken nugget?
They're called two different things, are they not?
You're right.
But here's the thing though.
Like I told you off camera,
the only thing was it's legit the flavor, that's it.
But before you're like, oh whatever,
that makes it different, then yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then motherfucker, I could just put some
little pepper on the damn chicken nugget
and call them boneless nuggets.
Why don't you do that then?
Then...
Chicken nuggets can be shaped
to whatever shape you want the nugget to be.
Whereas this, this isn't a specific shape
you want it to be.
Look, they didn't choose that shape for the boneless,
they chose that shape for the nugget.
But they didn't choose that shape for the boneless.
You guys realize what you got to do for chicken?
You got to batter it up.
Oh my bad, I'm talking to the expert cook over here.
He's a chef at a restaurant.
He makes gourmet meals over here.
Yeah, exactly.
Look, this chicken nugget's smaller than this.
This nugget's smaller than this.
Again, with the nugget,
they made it to be that shape.
Whereas with the boneless chicken wing,
they didn't necessarily make it to be that shape.
Huh.
What?
Looks like the same.
I've got to get close up.
Let me see this.
The same intact thing.
I can't wait till we get cameras.
I fucking can't wait.
Yeah?
I can't wait.
Why don't you get a camera then?
Cause we're first college kids, that's why.
Good point, good point.
Cause we would have already had a camera for that money.
But then again, we also go to college and games,
go to St. James games,
do other excursions outside of that.
We do.
I mean, it's all about how you choose to spend your money.
You know, we want to spend it having fun.
Exactly, so.
At St. James club and games.
You want to go to game four.
I don't really want to go cause they're going to get swept.
Why do I want to see a team get swept?
How the fuck are they not going to get fucking swept?
I'm going to get my burn from upstairs.
So look in this sweet, sweet.
Hey dog, remember the last time you talked shit?
What happened last time you talked shit?
Last time you talked shit,
you were fucking talking shit about Zion getting hurt and shit.
Feeling, oh man, our season's over and shit.
Then, what happened literally two days after?
Your favorite team loses to your other favorite team
and your favorite player is hurt.
You know what that's called?
You want me to tell you what that's called?
What is it called?
Karma bitch.
The Miami Heat, you see my shirt?
I'm wearing a Heat shirt.
Why?
Cause they're the best team of all time, that's why.
If you watch basketball, you know that's definitely not fucking true.
Now you know that's the truth.
Why is it not the truth?
Enlighten me.
Do you really want me to tell you why?
Yeah, go ahead.
Cause LeBron had to save your franchise most of the time?
We won a championship before LeBron even got here.
Oh, won a championship, oh wow.
Compared to your zero?
Yeah.
Compared to your zero?
You really want me to talk when you're a president?
I'm a 20 year old franchise though.
Okay, 20 years old, right?
Miami Heat was starting I think 89.
So 20 years from now would be 09.
And we had our championship by our 20th season.
Yeah, but here's the thing.
You're trying to go out.
We're not a big city like fucking Miami.
Motherfucker, have you ever been to Miami, like step foot on the ground?
I have not actually.
I would love to go.
Motherfucker, I would be more of a Heat fan than you.
How?
Motherfucker, I think I landed in Miami over a layover and I went into the Miami Heat team store.
Did you buy some Heat merchandise to convert yourself into a true basketball fan instead of a fake fan?
No, I didn't want to buy all that garbage.
You should have.
I saw that Tyler Hero jersey.
Hell no.
But you should have bought that.
I saw that Jimmy Butler jersey.
I wanted to puke.
I told my dad I would like that.
All I'm saying is you should have bought it.
You could be a real fan, not some fake fan like you are now.
Look, I'm going to say this.
What's up?
Go ahead, tell me.
That was the 20-25 championship.
20-25, how?
We're in 20-24 right now.
Okay, tell me how they're going to win that championship next year.
Easy.
Zion's going to be in a good playoff.
And we're going to just steamroll everybody.
So you think with a healthy Zion, automatically win against the Nuggets, automatically win against the Suns, automatically win against the Wolves?
We can beat the Wolves.
We can beat the Thunder.
We can beat Denver.
The one team that scared the Clippers.
That's the only team.
What about Mavericks?
Mavericks don't really scare them.
You just scared the Clippers?
You just saw them get bodied by the Mavericks in the ring.
Here's the thing though.
I think the last time I actually watched the Mavericks in person, because I was good at the Luffy games, was when they had Grant Williams.
So you've got to think.
This little team that they got with Daniel Bradford and PJ Washington, it's really fucking good.
We can all agree on that.
It is a good team.
So that is why we can't really judge them if we can beat them.
The Clippers scare me because if Kawhi's playing, that's all that matters.
If Kawhi's playing, then I know we're kind of losing.
If Kawhi's playing, then the Mavericks won the game.
I know, but I think they just all had a bad game that day.
Because literally the whole team went 3-28 with Luffy guarding them.
It was some stupid set like that, but it was actually a pretty good set.
Okay, the Bears. The pick is in. Who is it going to be?
I have no idea.
I think it's going to be Jayden Day, don't you think?
It's going to be Michael Pinnix.
Michael Pinnix?
Yeah, let's go.
Drumroll, drumroll.
King of the Pullies, no way!
It's like everyone didn't vote on that already.
That's insane. That's an insane pick.
What a reach. What a reach.
It's not like they traded their star quarterback already to a quarterback that...
I ain't going to shit on the Bears.
Alright, so what do we expect out of Caleb Williams for the rookie season?
A lot.
A lot as in what?
You have Cole Comed, you have Deandre Swift, you have Keenan Allen, and you got DJ Moore.
I expect a lot.
You think they can win the division then?
You really think they can win the division?
I know. My think for them is I think they need to win the division. They should win the division.
You think they can win the division over the Packers and over the Lions?
They can beat the Packers. They can definitely beat the Packers.
I don't know.
I don't know about the Lions though.
Because you know the Lions, they're magically good somehow.
To me it depends on if Jordan Love takes that next step.
If he's the same as he was last year, then I don't know.
But if he takes that next step, he could be a lead.
And this is coming from someone who was a Jordan Love hater when he first got drafted in the league.
Alright. But I do think he is going to take that next step though.
Look what this man is doing. He's playing with the jersey.
I don't care. I don't care.
Those Bears fans are happy. I'd be happy too. I'd be happy with him.
But look the thing is though, is that if I'm Chicago, because some of the Bears players are saying all that Hollywood shit ain't going to fly over there.
And I agree with that.
I don't think the Bears will be great. They'll be a little under 500 I guess.
They're not going to win the division over the Lions, over the Packers. Come on.
It's that rookie. He's a rookie.
I mean rookies don't win the division. We saw one year where CJ Stroud won the division.
Apart from CJ Stroud, what's the other rookies that really puffed off?
Like I said, I expect Kayla Williams to do good.
Because you got all that veteran talent over there.
The only thing that...
Hello.
A lot of sacrifice.
Yeah.
Mmhmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Number one pick in the draft.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Okay.
Mitchell Chbyski, Justin Fields 11th overall, and now Kayla Williams.
That's the quarterbacks over the years.
That's eight years, baby.
Absolute NFL royalty right here. Mitchell Chbyski, quarterbacks all night.
That's a legend. Is he still in the league?
I could swear he signed a deal somewhere.
Yeah, somewhere. I don't know what the top of my head was.
Yeah, look up.
He was in Buffalo and then he was with Steelers last year I think.
Where did it sign to? I don't even know.
Jacksonville maybe?
Right, thanks for the bills now.
Bills? Yeah.
He went back to Buffalo.
Back to Buffalo.
Ooh, Commander's IGJ McCarthy too.
Interesting.
If you were Washington, who would you take?
I'm taking Jaden Dane.
Yeah, no question.
No hesitation.
Make a throw and make a run.
I like quarterbacks that can do that.
You think he's a Lamar Jackson type of quarterback?
Absolutely.
But I feel like Jaden though, I feel like Jaden can throw a better Lamar.
Yeah.
I guess we'll see once his pro career happens.
It's another thing with these rookie quarterbacks, you can't just judge them off their first season.
Because a lot of rookies want a bad first season.
It's the NFL adjustment.
It's entirely different than college football.
What I always say, look at Trevor Lawrence.
Trevor Lawrence sucked his first year.
He was so hyped up as his generational talent.
I mean he's so good, don't get pushed enough, but his first year he sucked.
He's not as good as he was hyped up to be.
He hasn't lived up to the hype of the pros.
I won't say this though, I won't say this.
I'll give him a bit of an example.
His first year as a rookie, that Jaguar team had practically nothing on it.
With Urban Meyer.
Yeah, with Urban Meyer.
So I can't really blame him for that.
You had a terrible coach, not only that, you practically had nothing.
Okay, even without that first year though, he still hasn't lived up to the hype.
Like he came into the NFL with.
He got the Jaguars to the plate off the lead.
It's still, look, look.
Blake Bortles got the Jaguars to the plate, hooks.
But also look at that team though.
You had Saxon, you had a top five defense.
Why has Trevor Lawrence done that?
Because he hasn't done much to live up to the hype.
All he's got to do is play quarterback.
You're saying he has lived up to the hype, so how?
Well, you're comparing it to his whole high school, college, and all that.
Yeah, because everyone was hyping up to be, oh, his generational quarterback.
So good.
I don't know where you heard that.
But like, I understand, I probably know what you're talking about.
Because I know they were talking about, oh, like he's never lost a game to like high school college.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, that's understandable, but at the same time though, you're playing professional football.
You're going to have your losses.
I mean, that's not even a question.
So like, I feel like he has lived up to it now, absolutely now.
If he would have told me that, I mean, his first game.
He's not even the best quarterback in his class, in his drop class.
I don't know what he's talking about.
We'll talk about that.
This one's a pick right here.
Second pick, who is it?
Drum roll.
Ooh, Jaden Daniels, our boy.
LSU, LSU, LSU, LSU.
I don't go to the school, I don't go to the school, but LSU.
But you had an LSU for your though, weren't you?
I had an LSU.
Oh, uh-oh, so that time.
I mean, we curse on him all the time.
We might as well sing the song.
Yeah, that's such a fun song to do in the stadium.
Like, you've been to the J-K-B, right?
Like, you've been in the stadium doing that song.
But we got to go this year.
Bro, we do.
Because you see the new renovations they added?
No.
What happened?
They added like purple lights and shit.
Purple lights?
Yeah.
God.
Like purple seats, like fucking, looks good.
Bro, his mother fucking everybody.
You think I'd get his little hat?
My god, Jaden fucking Daniels.
Let's go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead with yourself.
With your bad self.
Go ahead with your bad self.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like some of these teams, they just know who the fuck they're drafting.
But they just want to waste the clock.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I feel like that's a lead-in-aided thing, right?
They have to take all their time.
Because ESPN has to show all this stuff.
If they only take like two seconds, ESPN can't do the whole program and everything.
Fuck, I do that for my fans in football.
Like, why can't they do it here?
That's bullshit.
Nah, bro.
Like, I think one single thing.
Oh, next person.
No, bro, they wouldn't make money.
They want ESPN to get all of their highlights out the way.
Do you know how much shit ESPN makes?
ESPN, ESPN don't even need the damn draft.
Well, they probably do.
Yeah, they make a lot of money from draft.
What do you mean?
What?
Dude, come on.
You don't think a lot of people are watching this draft right now?
You're right.
A lot of people are watching this draft.
I bet you like at least 60 million people are watching the draft in the U.S. right now.
You're just saying.
Hmm.
All right, hold up.
Look back on who's the chairman of the draft class.
Who else is in the draft class?
Because I don't think he's the best quarterback in his draft class.
Was he the same draft class as Mike Jones?
I think.
Yeah, it's that draft class.
Yeah, never mind.
He's the best quarterback in that draft class.
Is he?
The 2021 draft class.
Yeah.
Trevor Lawrence.
Zach Wilson.
Trey Lane.
That's the one with DeMora Chase and Penesio.
He had Justin Fields in that class.
That class was so overhyped when literally most of them sucked now.
And the pros.
I wouldn't say it's a bad class, but I would say it's a good class.
I would say it's pretty bad.
Like, we have one quarterback that's actually good.
Look, I'm not just talking about the quarterbacks.
I'm going to talk about the quarterbacks because I'm going to say it takes two through four, so DeMora Chase is good.
I'm talking about just the quarterback draft class.
Yeah.
Maybe they have some leaders.
Maybe you can go to see.
Oh, literally the first draft pick?
Yeah, never mind.
Trevor Lawrence is the best.
Yeah.
Then like number two would be Kyle Fitz.
That's difficult.
I'm doing this pretty bad.
Okay, so what are we talking about from Washington Commanders this season?
I'm changing us.
Good bunch.
Not much.
Good bunch.
I feel like Jayden's going to ball it out, but at the same time I still feel like Jayden's going to ball it out, but the rest of the team is going to fuck.
I think they're like a six or seven more team.
Jayden will carry them just in one.
Or do bad teams.
I mean, they get some pieces though.
They got like Austin Eichler in two.
I think Jayden Daniels will carry the Commanders just in one against mediocre, bad teams.
I mean, there's not going to be any good teams, but.
Oh shit.
Okay, they're taking their quarterback.
Of course the Patriots are taking the quarterback.
They needed the quarterback.
Well shit, they were talking about trade that ball, but the Patriots are taking it.
No.
Who do you think the Patriots are taking?
Jayden will carry me?
Or Jayden May?
Hmm.
Who would you take?
See, that's kind of fucking hard because...
That's hard?
I'm going to say it's hard because like...
I'm going to go with Jay Jay McCarthy.
I mean, he's a proven winner.
He won the championship.
That's my rationale for going with Jay Jay McCarthy.
I'm going to say Drake May.
But see, that's hard for me because like both...
Here's the thing about Jay Jay.
That team was really fucking good.
Like Wake Forest was running back, he's fucking good.
So...
Well who do you say?
Let's see.
I'm saying Drake May.
Let's see.
Drake May.
Yeah, I think most people thought they were going to say Drake May.
Weren't you anti-Drake May?
I'm not going to say I'm anti-Drake May.
I don't think he's going to pan out though.
Well that means you're anti-Drake May.
No, because like...
I still want him to do good.
Don't get twisted.
I still want him to do good but at the same time the like...
The difference between him and Caleb Williams and Jay Dana was like I said...
You're going to North Carolina.
You're facing schools like...
Rutgers or...
You could be dropping bombs.
I'm getting twisted now.
Look at this shit.
You thought he was a better pick than Jay Jay though?
I thought he was better than Jay Jay.
But that's also because Jay Jay's team was better too.
So I feel like...
How do I describe it?
Jay Jay played against better opponents though.
He played against Ohio State, you know the big time opponents.
I know.
But at the same time though...
It's a team game like I said.
Playform at the top like what?
He's going to be like the first running back off the board.
He's definitely going to be the first running back off the board.
Probably so.
And so...
And then that offensive line at Michigan.
That Michigan on the line.
And definitely that Michigan D line.
That Michigan D line.
That Michigan D line was killer.
Oh yeah, that Michigan D line was bad.
Bad boys in that Michigan D line.
Yeah.
So like that's kind of why...
I really...
I don't really believe in Jay Jay like that.
But like...
What are you doing?
I'm checking my phone.
Like a good little person.
Like a good little boy?
Like a good little boy.
You're a good little boy?
Eating my chicken nuggets of course.
Okay.
Eating my lemon pepper chicken nuggets.
Well you got McDonald's chicken nuggets.
And then over here you got your lemon pepper chicken.
I'm taking boneless chicken wings.
No, I'm going to eat lemon pepper chicken nuggets.
I'm going to bring some facts for you next episode.
I'm really going to school you about this.
Yeah, is it going to be like fun fact?
Like what's the difference between boneless...
Yeah, I'm going to tell you that there's a big difference between a nugget and a boneless wing.
Alright, so next up Arizona Cardinals.
I think I'm going to drive through a seabird.
Middle-aged neighbors.
Probably it.
Okay.
The only difference is what part of the chicken it comes from.
Exactly, it's a difference.
But they still have the same fucking side, Landis.
I've never said they're different sides.
I never once said that.
The part of the chicken.
That's what I was thinking.
What the fuck are you doing?
You never said that.
That's what I was thinking in my head.
I know I didn't say that.
I was thinking in my head though.
You know what I mean?
You see how fucking delusional he is?
But anyway.
You don't have to cuss, you know.
You can do things peacefully.
You know, being one with the universe.
If you watch episode 6 after this, I'm going to kick his ass.
And he ain't going to be like, oh no, please don't do it, please don't do it.
He's just going here.
Look out.
Learn the way of Jesus, my friend.
You need to have some Jesus in your life.
Jesus is telling me to kick your ass, right?
No, bro.
You need some Jesus in your life.
Fuck that.
Who do we think the Cardinals are thinking?
Middle-aged neighbors.
Who do you think?
I think Millic neighbors are the best receiver.
Biased.
I am biased.
But as an English you can, I'm biased.
See, in my opinion, I'm saying...
Marvin Harrison just got the name.
That's why I think they're going to draft him.
He's great.
But Millic neighbors is better in my opinion.
Well, here's why I say Millic neighbors is better.
He had the same numbers as Marvin Harrison and he had to share catches with Brian Thomas.
And that should be me being an LSU fan.
Millic neighbors, Ohio State, right?
No, I mean Marvin Harrison.
He's not USC, right?
Marvin Harrison, Ohio State.
Yeah, okay.
I heard it the first time.
Ohio State.
Let's see.
So let's see who the Cardinals are going to pick.
Will it be Millic neighbors or Marvin Harrison Jr.?
Or maybe they draft a quarterback just to throw everyone off.
Watch them just...watch them make a trade?
No, watch them draft this random kicker from like middle Tennessee.
That would be funny.
The pick is in.
Who are they picking?
Marvin Harrison Jr.
So many people getting so hyped.
Okay, I got to see how they're going to do.
Kyle O'Murray will not have that time.
What?
Kyle O'Murray will not have that time in that pocket of throwing.
Kyle O'Murray, Marvin Harrison Jr., that's a good time already there.
Two young players, young studs.
Kyle O'Murray will not have time in that pocket to throw them.
How do we know?
We don't know what their offensive line is going to look like.
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
Because I told you this before, like every team that thinks their offensive line sucks.
Legit.
No.
Unless your names are the Chiefs and like the Eagles, then your offensive line is straight.
But then other than that, like, your offensive line sucks.
Exactly.
Like I said, unless your names are the Chiefs and the Eagles, your offensive line sucks.
Alright, so I'm betting on Payne, okay?
What's your best?
Hold on, let me look at the graph.
Who's got...
Alright.
50-fucking...
50.
I've got an interesting question for you.
Okay.
We can waste time while we wait for the next pick to come in.
Do you think the NFL should expand?
Yeah.
Yeah?
What do you think they should go to in expansion?
See, like, London gets brought up a lot, but London would be really hard to do with all
the travel and everything.
See, they're trying to go to fucking London and shit.
Yeah.
No, you gotta go... you gotta keep it in the United States.
Because one, I personally believe that you are not gonna have a team of being... unless
they...
I'm feeling it's unfair to both the American and the, let's say, New England team, because
they're gonna be traveling every single week.
Like, two of their playdays are gonna be... one of their playdays...
is gonna be a travel day.
Yeah.
Yeah, like, that's unfair to the London team, because yeah, they gotta travel a lot.
What do you think the NFL should expand to, then?
No... I'm thinking of NBA right now, but...
Yeah, NBA is given.
I mean, those two are given.
In the last couple years.
Because I was thinking fucking Seattle, but then I was thinking of my NBA logic and you
know.
Right.
I think that's a good idea.
This football though.
I have no idea.
I think put another team in Texas, like, San Antonio or Austin.
Texas loves this football.
And then, give a team to Canada.
Yeah, put one in Toronto.
I feel like Canada would be bad.
Like, if the Raptors can do it, we can do it.
They can.
Yeah, because the whole nation of Canada will get behind that one team.
And Toronto's a big ass city.
Alright, you know what I'm thinking?
It's kind of dumb.
I feel like with the 12th...
You do think a lot of dumb thoughts now.
You do.
Fuck you.
You admitted it.
Sometimes though.
Sometimes.
I'm feeling like with the 12th pick, the Denver Broncos are going to select Brock Bowers.
Who the fuck is that?
He's a tight end from Georgia.
He's a very good tight end.
They drafted him quarterback.
Well, let's see.
We need a quarterback.
Well, let's see.
We're going to say bone eggs.
How much...
No, there's not a lot of money though.
Alright.
Commercial time, so let's talk.
Okay.
What do we think about the draft so far?
Pretty much what we expected.
Probably as much as we expected, so like...
Not really that interesting.
We just get them all in the face of trucking.
Drake made number three.
Jay Daniels number two.
Cable Williams number one.
Then Marvin Harris and Jr.
What pick does your team have?
That's an amazing question.
I gotta find somebody.
Wow, what a terrible team.
Can you fuck off?
Language...
You have some audacity.
What?
Like I told the viewers.
You're just going to hear a...
You're going to hear a light.
I would like to not talk to our viewers now.
We have the 10th pick.
Who do you want the Jets to draft?
An O-line.
Anybody that's not playing for Marvin.
That's not even a question.
No, no, no.
You know what you need to draft?
You need to draft a new playing surface for MetLife Stadium.
That's what you need to draft.
Like I want an actual field and I want an O-line.
But I want an O-line more than anything.
You know they're training at DeGrasse, right?
Good.
MetLife?
They need to.
I don't know how the board comes to MetLife.
That's one of the stadiums.
That's good.
Now Aaron Rodgers can actually run around the pocket a bit more.
They need to draft a new field.
Not worry about the O-line.
Draft a new field.
You know that's the truth.
Because I feel like if this O-line turns out really good, that's all we need right there.
When Aaron Rodgers retires, how many years do you think he has left?
Two?
I think he's got like four or five.
Four or five?
Evan.
He's like 38 right now.
You've got two or three.
39 or 40.
41 or 42.
Two years.
43.
That is a solid number.
43?
43.
Alright, how many years is that?
Three years.
Four years.
Five years.
Four or five.
No, he's not playing five or six years.
He definitely is.
He's going to go the far route, go back to Minnesota.
And he's going to go to Minnesota to get the fucking package and get his ass divided
in love.
I want to ask this question, what is your least favorite info team?
Let me look up the teams actually.
You don't know the interviews.
I don't really, I don't know all of them by heart.
I know some of them, but I don't know the names.
I don't know all of them by heart.
I don't know the names.
You don't have much dislike team?
See, I have two teams for you.
You're actually going to be proud of me on this one.
I got the Cowboys, of course.
Nothing wrong with the Cowboys.
And the Philadelphia fucking Eagles.
Yeah, round of applause everyone.
Round of applause.
You deserve a trophy.
Let's make a trophy or something.
I don't know.
I can't deal with that.
Here's your trophy, sir.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I can't wait to.
It was a dick.
You guys suck in here.
Suck in your dick.
I'll beat your ass out of the pocket.
Dog, go ahead.
What were you going to say?
You done?
Yeah.
So, I'm going to make jokes.
So.
I'm making jokes over here.
You're the serious one.
You're the serious speaking dog.
Oh, I need to be so serious.
Let me finish speaking.
Please.
Speak.
I give you permission.
I don't need permission from no motherfucking money motherfucker.
So.
Hold on.
Chargers strapped in.
Let's see who they go with.
We need them.
It's a lot of.
Woo.
Tackle, nerdy ding.
I did that pitch.
They needed a tackle.
I would have picked a tackle.
That was them.
Oh, you got a hot girlfriend right there.
Damn.
Let's see.
Where did Gero all plan to go?
Oh, he planned to go to fucking Tennessee, damn.
All right.
What were we going to say earlier?
The reason I hate Philadelphia Eagles fans, they are so fucking annoying.
I have two friends that are Eagles fans.
The amount of time I want to commit murders when they talk about football with me, I fucking
hate it.
What did they say?
You know they just got played one, right?
So they, you know how they get, they.
St. Juan is the most overrated when you act.
I would stand by that.
I wouldn't say all that, but I'm going to tell you what they, but the Philadelphia Eagles
fan, what they say.
Oh man, they act like Cowboys fan.
I swear.
It's just one blue, one green.
One of them be, but they, they're just like, oh man, we're going to win the chip now.
We're going to win the chip.
And I'm just like, fuck no.
He's going to get injured like halfway through the season.
Oh shit.
I can't wait to see what your O line does without Jason Kelsey.
I don't want to be fine, but St. Juan is going to get hurt mid-season.
No, because that's okay.
That's still strange to me.
Think about that.
How did you go 10 and one in the first 11 games and then just suck the rest of the game?
That was coaching.
Nick Serrani is a terrible coach.
He's a terrible coach.
See, they figured out how to beat the Eagles.
And so that game thing was put out.
And so team just followed that blueprint, how to beat the Eagles.
See what I, what I told my friend was I was like, bro, y'all are making a pass the first round of the bucks.
He was trying to be like, no, we're not going to lose the fucking Baker Mayfield.
I was like, all right.
Yeah.
I didn't hear the bucks.
What does Baker Mayfield do?
What?
Damn.
Baker Mayfield just cooks like he normally does.
Just.
Me and my dad set a bet when I came, I took the Buccaneers, he took the Eagles and he never paid me back for that bet.
He never paid me for that bet.
That was bullshit.
Hey, you can't get on that either because that's your dad.
Right?
I feel that.
Right?
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, bro, it sucks being right to your parents sometimes because deep down, you know that you were right all along.
You can brag all you want, but then at the same time, you can still get punished.
You can still get grounded.
They can still kick your ass.
They can still do anything.
You are not winning that argument.
So you might as well just fucking stop by right now.
Your parents will pull those skis off all the time.
I raised you.
What the hell?
I raised you.
Come on.
Very fucking bug.
You know how it is.
How would you be as a dad?
Let's see.
Mr. Evan Johnson, like a 30 something year old father.
How would you raise your kids?
Little Johnson boys.
See, I raised my kids.
Look, if it doesn't involve cutting off your nuts.
What?
If it doesn't involve cutting off your nuts, changing your gender, you can do whatever you want.
Just don't kill yourself or hurt yourself.
And we're Gucci.
Why, if they kill someone else.
Don't do that either.
Definitely don't do that.
What if they stab someone else, but don't kill them.
Just stab them.
No.
No?
Because, no.
I don't raise psychotic ass people.
Or psychotic kids.
We'll get back to this conversation, but,
Jared's just selecting, or are they selecting?
J.J. McCarty.
Doo doo doo doo.
My neighbors.
What?
They need a quarterback.
Daniel Jones is not the answer.
Mahalo.
Malik neighbors.
I mean, is he going to make Daniel Jones better?
What do you think?
No.
Well, no.
They obviously believe in Daniel Jones.
No, it's not Malik's neighbors fault.
Malik's neighbors are going to fall out.
Daniel Jones isn't going to fall out.
They obviously believe in Daniel Jones.
The Giants do.
Yeah, but these are the same motherfuckers I was talking about months ago.
That fucking, hey, let's get rid of Daniel Jones.
But here's why they haven't got rid of Daniel Jones.
Ain't nobody going to give him that big ass contract.
That sent the Giants, I mean, the Giants back years.
That sent the Asses up for a lot of shit.
That literally set them up for failure.
He had one good season, he got paid, and then was just like, all right, I'm done.
I mean, Blake Loro's right there, falling out, got a paycheck, out of it.
Next bulls, he got a paycheck with Jack Wallace, and he got hurt, and he didn't play again.
He got a lot of money, too.
Wouldn't it be great to have a lot of money?
What you doing?
I am doing an assignment for school.
Oh my lord, you're a little nerd over here.
Can you fuck off?
I knew the school assigned it.
It's all me being responsible, and I know you don't know much about it, but I'm glad you're catching my drift.
At least I'm being responsible.
I knew the school assigned it.
What?
Yeah, what's that about?
I love how this motherfucker last week was talking about how he would fight a 411 motherfucker, but he gives me this shit, and I'd be down to fight him.
But do you fight me? No.
I would 1.5% win.
Well, yeah, you're bigger than me, so yeah.
Have you seen Hulk Hogan do a little press like this?
Dog.
That's all I'm going to do. I'm going to do that, either just throw it off that way, or just let you fall down on your face.
Dog, you're bigger than me, so you will probably win. I'll give it to you.
I could probably curl you.
I don't know.
I'm going to have to test that.
Just curl Landon.
How many Landons can I curl?
How many Landons can you grow?
Three. Four.
What's your estimation? How many Landons can you grow?
About four.
Four Landons?
Like, at four, I'm already going to go fat ass and it's going to be fucking heavy, and I'm going to be like, ehh.
Just give up.
Alright.
Yeah.
I'm like neighbors. I don't like his suit.
Well, it's kind of cozy in there.
That's a little cute, really ugly.
Bro, you think that's a good fit?
Fuck, no.
I like the chain though.
Nah, it's like an overcoat thing.
There you go, you need to unbutton it.
Okay.
Oh, that's actually kind of dope.
What is it?
It's like little memories of him in LSU.
Oh, yeah, that's cool.
Now you want it in the back.
Okay, leave it unbuttoned. When it's unbuttoned, it looks bad.
Yeah, well that's what I'm saying. I was like, like, literally the button up, like him having it buttoned up, like it's not...
Yeah, bro, leave it unbuttoned. That shit does not look good buttoned up.
Titans are on the clock. Who are they picking?
Now, do you believe in Will Loves?
What? It's a question.
No.
No?
The Titans do?
I'm glad someone believes in him.
Why are you getting into Will Loves?
I'm not hating on him. It's just...
See, it's one of those scenarios where like, I'm gonna keep a mediocre quarterback to a certain extent, but at the same time, though, we have the potential to be good.
See, I feel like Will Loves is probably gonna be another Ryan Janel.
Now, to me, Will Loves hasn't... we haven't seen enough of him to really judge him on a good level.
I'll give you that too, because fucking... he only played like, what, a little bit half the season?
No, he only played less than half. He got hurt. He played probably like six games.
But he played like half the game because they were switching out starters. I thought it was like Ryan Janel for a little bit, and it was like...
Well, they were playing with Ryan Janel, and then he got banned from school Will Loves, and then he played until he got hurt.
I don't think he played a lot of games.
Well, I have no idea, mate.
Be our own commercial break now. That's why I began to talk about this, mate.
How much do I have to pay you to talk about that for the rest of the episode?
How much are you gonna pay me?
I'll give you 20 bucks, mate.
20 bucks?
20 bucks, mate.
Five.
No, mate, fuck you.
Five dollars, five cents.
What the fuck do I look like? A bloody fucking like a bitch?
Five dollars and ten cents.
Five dollars and ten cents?
Yes.
That's a deal.
That's a deal?
That's a deal.
Fuck that motherfucker, fuck you.
What?
Are you gonna have good money right there?
Five dollars? What the fuck five dollars gonna buy me?
Is that McDonald's meal?
Motherfucker, this one's 11.
McDonald's parts are on the way up.
I mean, McDonald's goes up, so.
What the fuck did you do that for?
Motherfucker, you have like one nugget right there. That's kind of it.
Unless you fucking dip in the fucking chicken, and you just swirling it around.
Maybe I wanted to do that. Maybe I didn't want to do that.
Motherfucker, I've been watching you the whole fucking time.
Now you took my opportunity away from me.
Motherfucker, I've been watching you, mate.
All you did was get that fucking fork, dip it in the fucking chicken,
and all you did was dip it in your little sauce, and then you fucking eat it.
You fucking bloody liked it.
Let's go back to the conversation earlier.
How would you raise little baby Johnson's?
That sounds good.
Let's change the question.
How would you raise baby Davis's?
I'll answer it, but I asked you first.
No, I gotta hear this. I gotta hear you.
I asked you first, so I'll answer it after you get your answer.
No, you gotta hear yours.
Why?
After this.
Okay, well, we'll see for the 10, okay?
I gotta hear your answer.
I asked you first, though. Why can't you tell me?
Because I feel like if I say something dumb,
like for example, if I want to take my kid hunting,
you're gonna be like, fucking hunting, what are you doing?
You're teaching him how to use a gun at like age nine?
Like, what's wrong with you, Evan?
That's not exactly what you would say,
but it'd be something along the lines, if you know what I'm saying?
Let's see who the pick is, and then we'll discuss this again.
Let's see. Who the 10's pick?
Please not the L-line.
Drumroll.
Tackle.
No!
L-line.
Oh, it's a defense tackle. Wait.
No, it's a tackle.
Yeah, a blind.
No!
From Bama. Why are you saying no?
Save those picks for my amazing quarterback.
Jets are probably gonna trade that one.
Fuck me.
Na na na na na na na na.
Ooh.
You're just guessing your ad partner there?
You're gonna talk in the pod.
I've been talking on the pod, Jackass.
So, tell me, how would you raise these baby lambs?
Okay.
I have two little baby boys, right?
Baby Lambs is the boy.
Landon Jr. and Landon No. 2 Jr.
See, that's an ego trip right there, Landon.
Are you gonna go up a whole top radio on him, too?
What do you mean?
You gonna kiss him with the lips, too?
No, I'm not gonna go that far, no.
He's gonna go that far.
Well, I'm gonna do that.
Don't let him lie.
Why would I do that? Why?
Because that's your own flesh and blood.
They came from your nut sack, Landon.
Of course you're gonna fucking kiss him.
Would you kiss him, then?
No.
Why would I kiss him?
Because I'm a man, Landon.
That's different.
I am also a man.
Are you sure about that?
I am an adult man.
Are you sure about that?
Why would I not be?
I don't know.
You can fucking boneless ass chicken-duck it.
You mean what about my dick right now?
Go ahead.
No, no, no.
Come on.
Come on, boy.
Come on, bro.
Bro, look at it.
Don't fucking look at it.
Look at it.
What?
I'm trying to prove my masculinity to you, but you're just...
Whatever, dog.
Ain't nobody gonna wanna see that shit?
I'm trying to prove you that I'm a man.
I obviously don't want proof to you.
Motherfucker, we could go get a blood sample, do something else.
Go get a DNA test.
Well, what's the fastest way?
What would be the fastest option?
Motherfucker, I fucking know.
I fucking try to come in here and be like, hey, man, I'm a dude.
And just fucking show a fucking...
Like, a surgical fucking dick.
First off, if it's a surgical dick, you'd be able to tell.
No shit.
But that's just like saying, like...
Oh, man.
This dude has a...
This dude's a woman.
Comes in here and shit about the surgical vagina.
So I don't wanna see that.
No.
You were questioning whether I was a man.
I was gonna prove to you, like, yeah, I'm a dude.
And I was gonna show you proof.
But you didn't wanna see the proof.
Okay, we'll continue with what you were saying.
You have two big kids.
Okay.
Finish that, because...
I have two little kids.
One's Landon Jr.
One's Landon number two Jr.
Good names. Good names.
Do we agree?
Fucking terrible last name.
I can understand the first one.
Literally, Landon Jr.?
Like, the...
What is it? Landon Jr. the second?
Yes.
Fucking dumbass shit. Okay.
Well, everyone has their own opinions.
And I have mine, which is period evidence for all these reasons.
It's an independent period of time.
I'm gonna raise my kids to be very accepting people.
Accepting of all races.
I'm gonna raise my kids to bully your kids.
Of all kids?
I'm gonna raise my kids to bully your kids.
And just specifically your kids.
Like, instead of coming out of the womb,
like, I'm gonna have a picture of your kid and be like,
you see this kid right here?
You gotta bully him for the rest of your life.
But why would you do that?
Why would you do that?
If you send me the bloodline.
I bully you now.
Might as well have my kid bully your kids.
You're not bullying me.
What?
I definitely bully you.
Okay, mister.
Off the camera?
You get bullied. I feel bad for you sometimes, though.
Bro, off the camera? You're not bullying me.
Oh, damn. I think Arshad's delayed.
What?
I already know who the next victim is.
Well, stop cheating, man.
I think I know who it is.
J.J. McCorkle?
No. It isn't McCorkle, though.
Mike Pinnix?
Oh, wow.
So, like, is it actually caught up to speed
or is it, like, can you check in?
He says it's not the speed.
I guess this is delayed broadcast.
So, wait a minute.
Bro, why are you trying to cheat?
Motherfucker, I just caught up to speed.
And the first thing that... Look, you can see my story right here, okay?
Literally, this man is number one.
The number one thing that popped up.
Michael Pinnix is Elena, though.
Like, he's a good fit with the culture in Elena.
Right?
No, no, no, actually, no.
Why the fuck do you need Michael Pinnix?
Why would... why would they not need Michael Pinnix?
I mean, you have Kirk Cousins.
Kirk Cousins isn't going to play too much longer.
Let's be honest. He's not the most healthy quarterback.
He just suffered what? ACL?
He'll eat Achilles.
They don't know how crazy they'll be after they kill his injury?
They sure as hell know that Desmond Ritter is not the answer.
Is he even in, Elena, still?
I think he's still in Elena.
Yeah, no, he's not going to see another bit of an abortion.
He is terrible.
I mean, look what the fuck he had to deal with.
What? What did he have to deal with?
He had to deal with having so many weapons around him?
That's what he had to deal with?
You call those weapons?
Dracoinid is a weapon.
Cowpits is a weapon.
What fucking dope are you on?
12! Are they not good players? What do you mean?
I don't give you Dracoinid and Dejohn Hopkins.
Dejohn Hopkins? You do not like Cowpits.
Fuck no! Boss no!
Why not?
Cordell Patterson! Good player!
You're old!
Big Pat!
The motherfucker is old.
Bro, they came up with the fucking position for him
because they don't know what the fuck they want to do with him.
They put Jay on the deck chart as the Joker.
That's like some Taysom Hill type stuff.
That's what the fuck they were trying to do, so like...
I love Taysom. Taysom is my favorite.
If only Taysom could play every position all at once.
That would be an unstoppable team.
Let's just clone Taysom.
Well, he can't throw the ball.
Let's clone Taysom 21 times, so I'm going to play every single position.
Well, we don't need to clone him 10 times,
so all 11 of Taysom's could be on the field all at once.
So you're going to play online too?
Yes. Taysom is a big fucking dude.
Taysom is a big motherfucker.
See?
He might not be able to really hold Aeros of Donald or some big dudes,
but Taysom is a big dude.
I mean, he can kill the model, Garrett.
Aeros of Donald is not going to be able to kill him.
Yeah.
Okay, Donald. Before we go back to the bears,
what are we thinking for the new one of the things?
What do you mean?
Like, what are you hoping you get out of this draft?
Well, we need a captain, because our O-line sucks.
So you need an offense line?
Yeah, that's too long.
Yeah. I'd say I want a draft with good offense linemen.
So you have the same needs as every other team?
Yeah. Basically every team needs an offense lineman.
Exactly.
That's what I keep saying. Like, every team thinks their O-line sucks.
But come on, our O-line does suck.
You'll admit that, right?
Derek Carr had no time at all to come to the park and go skiing.
You watch a good bit of Sings games, right?
Because they're on TV.
I'm telling you this, okay?
What?
It might be.
Here, go ahead.
It wouldn't have been Derek Carr's fault.
No.
Now, some of it was.
Some of it was Derek Carr's fault.
Yes.
Okay, the faults.
These are the faults.
A little bit.
Like, 20% Derek Carr, 40% Pete Carmichael.
Make it 80% Pete Carmichael.
No.
Because Pete Carmichael played college for a long time before Derek Carr got here.
Well, it's not a page.
You just couldn't deem playing around Derek Carr very well.
Okay. So, 20%, whatever, 40%.
Whatever it was.
Yeah, so 40%, 20%, 60%, the other 40% is the O-line.
No comment.
Okay, then that's not a wrong, so I guess I'm right.
Because then if I'm wrong, you'd say wrong,
you'd say some shit about how I'm stupid or something,
how I'm so delusional.
One, you have a good O-line.
No, I don't.
You have a better than average O-line.
James Hirsch just retired, too, so we definitely need him for offensive tackle.
Oh, well, too bad. My team didn't get all the good O-lines first.
No, we did not.
We're the test pick.
We all have 13.
Who are the people selecting?
You mean Bears?
No, J.K. Bears.
Chicago Bears, what?
Oh, Bob Ruman, doomsday.
Receiver.
They got a lot of good receivers now.
I'm not sure James will be trying to see that.
I need something to drink.
Motherfucker.
That's not my fault.
Let me think about the door door.
What do you mean a door door?
I drink.
This is like a random drink, a random soda.
This man, if y'all could see, if we had cameras we'd show our faces.
You can see this man just bobbing his head to the little music.
He's eating my lemon pepper chicken nugget.
Eating his chicken wing.
Chicken nugget.
We already established why they're different.
Why do you keep saying the other thing?
Because of the chicken nugget.
Different parts of the chicken.
Like you said, you read it yourself from Google.
Did you not?
You're right, but chicken, nugget, yum.
So which can your door open?
A fucking drink.
Unless you want to be so kind and give me a water or something.
Do you see water around here?
Or just magically?
Look motherfucker.
Do you see those two things down there?
They're called lamps.
I don't see.
What are you talking about?
The where your naked shoes are connected?
Yeah, for my shoes.
You see up here?
You see these two things?
Oh yeah, these.
They're called fucking legs.
I love legs bro.
Chicken legs are so good.
You know what I mean chicken legs?
Boneless chicken tenders.
Or not tenders, wings.
Because they're not the legs of the chicken.
They're like the wings of the chicken.
Different body parts of the chicken.
Whereas the nugget is just made out of any type of chicken.
Chicken breast.
It's the breast of the chicken.
No.
Look.
Let's get back to me door dashing.
Hey, door dashing jack in the box.
No.
Why?
Why would I?
I've got that, that, and that.
Where are you at door dashing then?
A fucking drink.
Well that's what I'm saying.
Door dashing drink.
Where do you think you can do that?
I'm not even going to run up the street and go to the Chipotle and get me a drink.
You think I'm funny, but.
I mean.
You know what?
I'm not going to run up the street and get me a drink.
So what's your thinking about door dashing?
What are you looking at?
A root beer.
Something with water.
So I don't die.
From where?
Probably Chipotle.
Can you door dash jack in the box?
You going to pay me well for it?
What's happening to me?
You said it to me right now.
Well you don't trust me, do you Mike?
We've been about transactions all the time.
You're right, we do.
You're right, I do.
But.
What?
You ain't never seen us before?
No, I haven't.
I'm at a Tiki Taki party.
Tiki Taki.
That means no one's going to have to Tiki Taki in line.
Yeah, but I'm going to ban it.
But, but I just passed the bill.
He's going to ban Tiki Taki.
So you won't, you need to wear Tiki Taki dances.
I'm so sad.
Let me see.
I don't know.
Just tell us something, why are you doing that?
So.
While we're going with the Mayden theme.
What do you think?
About.
The New York Jets becoming the Super Bowl champions in 2024.
I have no reason to believe that they can win the Super Bowl.
Now see.
I'm just going to be your hate ass motherfucker.
No, not necessarily.
The Eagles have better teams than the Jets do.
Look, is this the first address?
So I can get my own match?
Yeah, okay good.
Yeah, I'm saying that on the pod because they're going to come looking for me.
The Pets are going to come looking for me, but what?
Any specific instructions for me?
Yeah, I'm good.
He lives at like 405 Negro Royal Lane.
Just kidding.
What are you saying?
It's not like he's on the Inward Rivers.
I was like, what are you saying?
Hold up.
Yeah, I was trying to say the address and bringing that.
But in case it does sound like it, please cut it out.
I don't say that.
Yeah, I mean, J.K., he does say that.
No, I do not.
I am.
What do you want to do then?
I would choke your ass out.
Oh, the Vikings picked the same.
Oh man, that's so cool.
I wonder who it is.
It's got to be J.J.
If it's not J.J., I'm going to fucking...
There you go, my friend.
Meet me in the front of the parking lot.
Very detailed.
So it's the same thing like last time?
Yeah, basically that's the easiest thing.
The Vikings are going to pick.
Who are the Vikings going to pick?
J.J. McCarthy.
J.J. McCarthy?
Yeah, yeah.
That's his name.
Now, I have a question for you.
Okay.
Did you like your chicken nuggets better or your boneless chicken wings better?
Both of them are my boneless chicken nuggets.
Your boneless chicken wings.
My boneless chicken nuggets?
On the Wingstop menu, they call them boneless chicken wings.
So therefore, I will refer to them as boneless chicken wings.
All right, how about this?
Can you be the first man in human history to get his ass beat by a chicken nugget?
Oh, wait, whoa.
Apparently, Minnesota traded up the tin.
We completely missed that.
Well, they're at the tin paper now.
Now?
Yeah.
They traded up to it.
I guess so.
But we're talking.
We're not paying our full attention to it.
Oh, wait, who's up there making a stop sign?
Make a wish.
That's mean.
I'm sorry.
You are a mean person.
I am not.
I'm a very nice person.
See, this is why that people want me to bully you.
Everyone who meets me tells me how amazing of a person I am.
I'm so kind.
I'm so loving.
I'm so caring.
Ain't nobody ever called you that.
You can put your arm down.
So what do you got to do with that?
Come on, let's get it.
Huh?
Let's get this door down.
I'm going to be a good guy.
So we have Bo Nix and Michael Pinnix.
No, no Michael Pinnix.
I'll let you know when you're ready.
So Bo Nix is left on the board.
Go.
Where's he going to go?
Denver.
Yeah, you sure?
What if Denver just decides to stick with Zach Wilson?
Then?
They would be.
I'm not going to do that.
Speaking of extra spicy pie, you've got to come up here and...
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to get a taste.
You can't multitask?
I'm trying to look and see who the 14th pick is going to be.
And I'm trying to take a look and see who the 14th pick is going to be.
Oh look, oh yeah, they got my door dad's order.
Sweet.
I ordered two cups.
I'm not sure what this little scene is.
Well, I told you to order me something.
Why didn't you?
Oh, well then, fuck, well, I'm still in fucking Uber Eats.
Fucking tell me your shit.
What, you just ordered something and you're Uber eating something?
What?
No, fucking tell me you're Jack.
Hold up, you door dashed something and then you're going to Uber eat something?
No, I'm on Uber Eats.
Like, I've been on Uber Eats.
Why did you just say door dash then?
I don't know.
You're confusing me.
What in the fuck do you want?
What?
What do you want?
Pick your ass, motherfucker.
Dude, you are, oh my gosh, the pick is in.
We know who we want.
Oh, I'm fit to tackle.
I swear, if it's a fucking defensive player, I'm killing you.
Quarterback.
If it's a defensive player, I'm killing you.
It's a quarterback.
No, if it's a defensive player, I'm killing you.
Oh yeah, defensive tackle.
No, if it's a defensive player, I'm killing you.
Oh, okay.
Bro, do you know how many times I had to deal with a defensive player every single year
whenever I was a Green Bay fan?
Never again.
That's some funny shit right there.
Would you agree it's funny shit?
Huh?
Would you agree it's funny shit?
Funny.
No.
It's funny shit.
No, it's not.
It is.
Aaron Adams could have three rings by now.
But yeah, he doesn't.
Why?
Because the team kept drafting defensive fucking players.
Well.
Did you just say fucking well?
Well?
I mean, if he was just better, then he could just be better and he would have rings.
Well, okay, I want a strawberry shake, but they only offer it in large.
Like, they don't offer any other size.
Bitch, I don't want a large.
I want a small.
What other kind of things they got?
Do they got like chocolate?
Every shake just comes in large.
I don't know why.
That's weird.
They got vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and Oreo.
Hmm.
Yeah, that's what they get though.
Strawberry shake.
Did you order your food or not?
No, they didn't.
Just press the strawberry shake.
Ooh, they got a chocolate overl- oh, they got a chocolate lava cake.
Buy one, get one free?
Bro, you know I don't like to eat some chocolate.
You already know that.
You knew that.
Oh yeah, I forgot you're weird.
I'm good in.
I'm weird.
No, you're weird.
I'm good in.
What?
I'm good in.
You say that louder for me to be weird?
I'm good in.
No, the fuck you're not.
Who was it just select?
Safety.
Who is that?
Let's go!
Pronounce that name.
Olumba, pashanu.
Pashanu.
Olumba, pashanu.
Olay baby.
Olumba, pashanu is going to be good.
Time to get Amazing Quarterback.
Bro, look at the white girlfriend over there.
Oh yeah, she kinda cute now that I watch.
Oh man.
Tackle.
Alright, nice.
I gotta tell you about Uber Eats.
Listen, did you get her?
You actually want to order something?
Yeah, I do.
That's obviously less than 20 minutes.
God damn.
No, because you're like, oh man I'm so picky.
Fuckin' type it in.
God damn it.
Bro, I thought you opened Jack in the Box.
Motherfucker, no!
I asked you if you were ordering anything and you were like, nah.
Bro, I literally said, yeah, I said I was going to get a strawberry shake.
Did you not?
That's all you wanted with a strawberry shake?
No.
Well then put it in your fucking food.
God fucking damn.
You're going to order shit too, right?
I'm just going to get a fucking lava cake.
Buy one, two, one, three, motherfuckers.
So you're going to get two, right?
Yes.
Okay.
I'll let you have the other one if you want it.
What?
I'll let you have the other one if you want it.
I'm good, my dude.
I am good.
That's right.
I always knew you hated chocolate.
I do.
I do hate chocolate.
As much as Philadelphia.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm protecting chocolate with my life and nothing.
You're not protecting Philly, but you're protecting chocolate?
See, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'll defend Philly a little bit.
Look, I'll defend Philly in every aspect.
I'll defend the 76ers, the Phillies, whatever.
If it's the Eagles, I'm not defending them.
You're going to defend the 76ers, really?
Why?
Why would you choose to defend the 76ers?
What the fuck have you done?
So you're getting miniature of them in the lava chocolate shake?
Yeah.
No, wait, chocolate?
Hold on, no.
Hold on, motherfucker.
You're turning me into a chocolate shake.
And then it's going to be like this, but you're going to actually cause a mishap.
So the restaurant causes a mishap.
I swear to fucking God, if the restaurant gives me a fucking chocolate shake.
I would be so excited and happy.
I'm going to pour it on Evan.
Just pour it on Evan and be pissed.
No, I'm going to fucking drink it.
Don't worry about it.
He will do that.
He knows better.
I'm not paying you until I get my food.
Fucking maniac motherfucker.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen, the draft spectacular.
Yeah.
It's as far as you can saw on your face.
They will do good in the microwave when I get home.
Well, microwave fries?
Yeah.
Fries do not, they stay soggy if you microwave them.
They're going to be fun.
You need to put them in the oven.
Put them in the oven.
Or the air fryer.
You have an air fryer?
I do not have an air fryer.
Put them in the oven then.
That would be better than the microwave.
They'll come out soggy in the microwave still.
You know what?
I kind of like them soggy.
You like soggy fries.
Then I just put a bunch of salt on them.
And then I'll let them half-lead thereafter.
This man over here likes soggy.
Soggy fries.
The chocolate shake does look good though.
I mean that's up to you.
You want to get both the chocolate cake and the chocolate shake.
Have diabetes or something.
That's up to you my dog.
I mean you owe me $8.
Is that all you want?
The churros and the fucking strawberry cake?
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Okay, look.
You just owe me $8.
Alright.
$8 to the bank!
And look.
The Evan bank!
We don't even need to fucking do this shit.
We don't need to pay anything.
We don't need to pay delivery fee.
That's wonderful.
What do you mean?
They want us to try Uber One.
You know what?
We're giving them a 15% discount.
Hey, tip your Uber Eats drivers everyone.
PSA to all the people listening to the podcast.
Tip your Uber Eats drivers.
Tip your Uber Eats door to add people.
Because they may come and kill you.
I don't think they're going to kill you.
I mean they kind of know your address.
I wasn't going to say that.
Yeah, the New York address though.
Estimated arrival $8.50.
How much is that?
$8.32.
Oh, $8.50.
The drafts back home, let's see.
The Broncos were about to pick.
Bone eggs.
Who was number 10 before that?
Sweet Caroline.
I didn't hear it.
What?
I didn't hear it at first.
I didn't know what the fuck they were saying.
Sweet Caroline.
Now I know.
You don't know that song, do you?
Now I know, motherfucker.
Sweet Caroline.
Your times never seem so good.
So good.
What?
I'm going to fucking kill this motherfucker.
That's what's going to fucking happen.
Well, this podcast is just for me to see how long it will take to drive Evan to murder.
Now see, that's literally it.
It could be days, it could be weeks, it could be seven.
How many episodes is it going to take for me to drive Evan to murder?
Bone eggs.
Yeah, bone eggs to the Denver.
Bone eggs going to the Denver with the 12th pick.
I'm afraid of bone eggs.
You better get fucked.
I'm good and I'm feeling alright.
Bro, nobody's getting excited.
Their TV is delayed.
Their TV is really delayed.
Bro, I think no one is just excited.
That motherfucker is smiling.
He knows what's up.
No, their TV is really delayed.
No, that motherfucker is excited.
You think our TV is delayed.
Their TV is really delayed.
I'm a big bone eggs fan.
You like bone eggs?
Oh, him versus the LSU team.
Yeah.
I'm a huge bone eggs fan.
I love bone eggs.
Bone eggs went fucking head over.
This one went over to TJ Finley over there.
I was at that game actually.
Who are you taking me to?
Well, what is your problem?
Did you fucking order the Uber Eats?
Yes, I did motherfucker.
Okay, okay.
God, you are pathetic.
Motherfucker, I will cancel this fucking order right now.
Okay.
And make you fucking either go drive there
or walk your happy little ass over there.
How are you going to make me do anything, first of all?
Do you want this little chicken bone, this chicken wing?
You can have that.
You can have it, my friend.
No, no, no, you can have the chicken wing.
No, I insist.
No, no, you can have it.
You just called her a chicken wing.
No, I said chicken bone.
You said chicken wing.
You said chicken nugget.
You did not.
I will fucking transfer you.
Chicken nugget.
There.
See, like I was saying before,
this podcast is just to see how many episodes it will take
for Evan to be driven to murder.
I just can't wait to go back to the topics.
That's all I can't wait for.
I mean, this is cool doing it on the fly,
but at the same time though,
Landon really makes me want to commit murder,
and it's very hard to do.
See, I can piss off Landon really fucking good.
What would you do to piss him off?
Shit.
I ain't going to give away my secrets.
Okay.
Because there are days where I get you,
and you're just like,
Evan, shut the fuck up,
and you're just smiley, happy.
You're just like,
Evan, could you shut the fuck up, please?
What does that happen?
Whenever I decide to make you fucking angry.
Give me an example.
Every Philadelphia person's murder video.
I don't think so.
I believe so.
I know so, actually.
There's lots of dumb Philly people.
In fact, I would say every one of them.
We don't.
IQ test versus a Philadelphia person,
I think we need to do it.
We need to run it.
Okay.
IQ test versus the average Philadelphia person?
Are you saying that?
Yes.
Okay.
I agree.
I'm just literally dumbing down your intelligence.
What?
I'm dumbing down your intelligence.
Because you already compared him or her to being a dumbass,
and you're already a dumbass,
so I'm just comparing dumb and dumber.
That makes no sense.
It doesn't make sense.
Oh, do-do-do.
Please pick.
Raiders.
Raiders on the clock.
13th pick.
The Raiders select.
Oh, sweet.
I forgot about that.
What pick was that?
Hagen-George.
13th pick.
Raiders.
Oh, I should have put it on number 13.
Damn it.
Fucking Brock Bowers.
What did you have in mind?
3303.
Preparing Jack in the Box preparing.
Okay, so we're getting all of our food.
So we're getting like the Jack in the Box, the fucking...
And by the way, this isn't just like a sponsorship by Jack in the Box.
This is just us doing the Jack in the Box.
Yes.
So can you...
What are we going to say?
I'm going to say it off the camera.
14th pick.
The Nuons Saints from the clock.
I want to tackle.
You want to tackle?
I want offense alignment, yeah.
Offense tackle.
Why don't you pick up the defense alignment?
I mean, I don't know.
We have good brand needs.
We need a receiver too, but our biggest need I would say is offense tackle.
Or watch you trade like a big player like Marshawn Latimore, Albuquerque Mara.
Why would we do that?
Because they're getting old.
Albuquerque Mara's not getting old.
He was drafted in 17th.
That motherfucker getting old.
Oh shit, they already got the props for the Rookie of the Year.
So for all my people that are betting, Caleb Williams is a plus 250, Marvin Harrison is
a plus 600, Malik Nabors plus 700, Roma Dunes plus a thousand, Jayden McCarthy plus a thousand
too.
I'm picking Caleb Williams as the Rookie of the Year.
No, no, no.
Jayden Daniels.
Jayden Daniels are good to go.
Shit, you'd win a lot of money if you picked Jayden Daniels.
Let's see, if I bet $100 on Jayden Daniels, I would not bet on $1,200.
Bet it.
No.
No, I'm definitely betting.
Bet it.
So, how about we save the pressure?
Shit, give you 50, I'll give you 50.
We split the money by four.
That means we have to split the profit, too?
I can help you with that.
All right.
We've got plenty of time until Saint's pick.
Let's talk about.
Let's go back to basketball, but look at the scores of the games happening right now.
Oh.
So if we have to get.
So, we, we were just giving each other $600.
That ain't bad.
Yeah, cuz the Cavaliers are playing the magic right now.
Oh, fucking Cavaliers and Magic are dumb.
Oh yeah?
Damn, Magic blew a mouse.
Oh really?
83 to 121.
Damn.
Okay, first ball fucker. You say the bigger score first. So it's 121 to 85.
Motherfucker, I'm reading how they gave it to me, jackass.
You know how, you know, you need to know how to read.
I would read from left to right.
But when you're telling the score, again you always go from the highest to lowest.
See what I'm saying? That more than a magic blew out the Cavaliers 83 to 121.
That's how I fucking said it, jackass.
That's not what you say though.
Well, motherfucking guess what? That's how I fucking came up.
So whatever.
How much would Palo score? Because that's something good Magic would play.
Palo... 31.
Ooh, nice.
Did... uh... Spider have a bad game?
Donovan has 13 points, fucking...
Spider had a 13 point game?
Six to 16. He played 26 minutes, so...
Darius Garland had 5 points, Jared Allen had 15, Evan Mowgli had 10, Max Triss had 4.
What would the shouldn't, like, above teams?
Franz Wagner also had 16, Jaylen Tugge also came to collect her 24 points.
Ooh, Max.
So then let's see... summary.
What was the shouldn't percentage, like, above teams?
3 point percentage.
Uh, well, I'm gonna do field goal. I'm gonna do field goal, 3 point, free throw, and that's about it.
Field goal percent?
I'm gonna go Cleveland first, and I'm gonna say Orlando.
Cleveland, 39.
Orlando, 51.1.
Cleveland, 23.5.
Orlando, 35.1.
So I'm gonna shoot terribly good from three.
Free throws, Cleveland, 84.6.
Orlando, 87.5.
How many free throws did they take though?
That one, I don't know.
Interesting.
I don't give you that.
I think the Cavs can win in five, so that's serious.
Oh, but I know that they fucking... they had the same amount of assists as 24.
Orlando, I rebounded the fuck out of them.
Oh, of course.
32, 51.
What's your pick for that series? I said Cavs in five.
We already did a prediction for that one. You heard of that?
Yeah. But, okay, this is off the cuff. We'll look at it later, like the official ones, but off the cuff, Cavs in five.
I say Cavs. Either Cavs in five, or now Cavs in six.
I feel like they're gonna get one more.
Alright.
Look, it's UFC 301. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I'm so excited for that fight.
What about sixers next? Did that game finish?
Looks like it.
You know, you have our takes on the games. We gotta be good little podcasters.
We gotta be good little podcasters.
Philly winning.
What's this? 89 to 102.
You are the most fucking win-win person ever. Say 102 to 89.
No.
How much time do we have left?
Fourth quarter, ten minutes on.
Oh, okay. We gotta go plenty of time though.
Let's see.
Plenty of time.
The Lakers are warming up right now.
Yeah, it's a 12-point game. They got plenty of time.
Awesome. Cool, cool.
Let's go next.
So, are we going to this game or this?
Okay, it fucking depends how the Pelicans play game three.
Because if they play pathetic game three, I'm not gonna go there and watch the pelicans get swept.
That's my...
Oh my gosh, you're gonna be that fucking picky?
No, I don't want to spend my money to just see a pathetic team go out and get swept.
We can sit in that little tunnel, like I normally do, like good little pelicans fan.
And we can be cheap about it.
Okay, and still, I mean you still have to pay them apart from your payment for concessions.
Because that's 50% off.
I already showed you that.
Yeah, but the pelicans are doing this thing, 50% off concessions.
They're trying to get more fans, because none of the fans want to go to the game.
And you can even fucking get in two hours earlier.
So I could go get my jersey signed by CJ.
Because that's the only...
He's one of the only two fuckers I need to sign that jersey.
Let's see who the Saints pick.
Do do do do, jump and roll, or the Saints gonna pick?
No, Kipers talking to Burger McFarlane.
I don't have to hire a word of character either.
Who are these Colombians?
I need you.
Patience, young Padawan.
Did you just pull a Star Wars on me?
I believe I did.
Patience, young Padawan.
Motherfucker, I've been told I look like Obi-Wan.
You do not look like Obi-Wan.
I look like Obi-Wan.
You do not.
Who told you that?
A Make-A-Wish kid?
This dude from work that I'm working with.
Is he blind?
Is he a Make-A-Wish kid?
His name is Ty, shout out Ty.
No, he's not a Make-A-Wish kid.
He says I look like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Don't be jealous now.
Does he have eye problems?
No, he does not have eye problems.
Does he have mental problems?
No, he does not have unprincipled mental problems.
I'm just wondering how in the world can he think that?
Because he just sees greatness.
With a 14-pack and the 23-point-overdraft.
The new one sings select.
Okay, now pronounce that.
What is he?
I'm just...
Attack him, damn it.
Bro, come on.
This thing won't...
Say that name.
I can't even see the fucking name.
I'm rewinding this shit.
Rewind it and fucking...
No draft.
The new one sings select.
Say that name.
Teletiwaga.
Organ State.
You're getting easier, fuck you.
Tackle. Nice. I knew it.
Organ State.
He's Hawaiian. Look at him.
Yeah, I love me some people from Hawaii.
Have you ever been to Hawaii?
No, I've not. I wish I could go.
I don't think I've been to Hawaii.
I want to go to Hawaii.
Oh shit, he's at Chipotle.
You got Chipotle?
I got my drink from Chipotle.
So you got your drinks from some place and you got your food from...
Why didn't you just get the drinks from...
I'm going to... No, because at first I was just like, I don't know, I'm thirsty.
Then you were like, but yeah, I want something to eat.
And I was like, okay fine, my child. Here you go.
Here's my phone. Order something.
I don't care what you get. Just pay me back.
Technically I'm just paying you back your own money.
You sent me Venmo. I'm just getting Venmo. You used some of the money that you sent me.
Yeah, exactly. So fucking just give me $8. That's all you got to do.
I don't even have to argue with you.
Wait, you still didn't answer me. Why did you get your drinks from two different places?
Because like I said, at first I was getting Chipotle, ordered my Chipotle.
And then you wanted something and I already put the order in.
And I was like, oh fuck, well, he's going to make an extra stop then.
I was standing here thinking about doing one of those things.
No, he's going to get hurt.
That's how he does. I don't really know much about tacos, but let's hope he's good.
Yay, look at the draft room.
Yo, Benson right there.
Now make the Pelican better.
Miss Gale.
Make the Pelican better. No time for that.
The New Orleans is not a basketball city at all.
I agree?
He agrees.
And then let's get it out because it's unpromotional.
We've been at this for a while.
No shit Sherlock.
What is your problem? What is your problem?
You know what's my problem?
Yeah.
You know what? You know how we're going to decide this?
We're going to get our viewer from Belgium.
Yes, all praise to the viewer from Belgium.
All praise. And the viewer from Russia.
He had to have listed it in the list.
Well, okay, the viewer from Belgium, he was first.
Yeah, but we also got to support the dude from Russia.
He got it out over there.
I'm not supporting him.
Well, he got it out over there.
Well, maybe he's a Putin supporter.
He could be a Putin supporter, I don't know.
But I don't support Russian people, but I support this Russian
because he listens to great podcasts.
Yes, he does listen to great podcasts.
He was just like, you know what?
I'm going to listen to this podcast.
Now it could also be a VPN though.
Yeah.
So it could just be someone from the movie
that just has a VPN in Russia.
Why would they choose to have a Russian VPN though?
People are weird.
Yeah, but that makes no sense.
You have no website freedom in Russia.
Like, one night clear.
That makes no sense.
Oh my gosh.
This dude is taking forever.
Calm down.
Like I said, patience.
I will choke you out if you say that one more time.
Patience.
You guys get it for a second, guys.
I'm the boogie man in the dreams.
Whenever he has a nightmare, it's just me in there.
I'm just a nightmare.
My nightmares.
I have no dreams of you at all.
I would hope you would have no dreams of me.
I know.
Good. Good.
What if I did?
What would you say?
I'd be kind of concerned.
You'd be concerned?
I'd be absolutely concerned.
You'd be concerned?
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you'd be concerned about my health and well-being.
No, I'm not concerned about that though.
Yeah, mental health.
What are our plans for the next podcast?
I don't know.
We probably got to do something for fucking...
I don't know.
Maybe some fucking Wednesday, I guess.
Not Wednesday, fucking Sunday.
You like having the topics.
You like the more structured stuff, don't you?
Yeah, I like the more structured.
But then again, this is fun too.
It's fun to a certain extent.
I feel like last podcast, we were structured, then we kind of went off on that tangent.
And we had a good time there.
You know what I mean?
I'm still trying to figure out how to pull up my order.
It says my two active orders are fucking Chipotle and whatever, Dragonabuck.
But it's not coming up for me.
So I do want to see my fucking food.
Let's see the cold place.
Turn on the TV.
I'll turn it up.
The volume.
All right.
Pick is in.
With the 15th pick in the 20th, we're going to go on draft.
Another line.
In the Minneapolis, Colt select.
Another line.
Oh.
You picked the bit.
Prove me wrong.
A lot of these names are hard to pronounce.
He looks cool.
I like his fit.
That hair got to go though.
What?
That hair got to go.
No, I like his fit, my dude.
He looks nice.
Let's talk about something.
What should we talk about?
Who is the greatest rapper of all time?
Because we're both going to have different opinions on that.
So like, see, whenever I was younger, I used to say Youth World.
You can actually bounce for that.
I used to say, oh my gosh, Youth World.
What do you think is the best rapper?
What's that to you?
See, I'm going to go with rappers I'm familiar with.
Somebody's known from the 90s.
Like all them people, I'm not familiar with them.
But I think Kanye's up there.
Of course, I knew you were going to pick fucking Kanye.
But I think Drake's up there.
And I think Eminem's up there.
OK.
And these are, I'm not including the 90s people, because I listen to people back then.
You know what I mean?
OK, give me Kendrick.
If we do a top three?
Yeah.
Drake, Kendrick.
Give me J. Cole.
I like J. Cole, I like Kendrick.
But to me, they're not the greatest all time, because they don't have the record sales that the other guys do.
This Uber Eats location guy needs to hurry up.
Calm down.
I'm going to kick your knee in if you say it one more time.
Say it.
I dare you.
I fucking dare you.
I'll kick your elbow in.
I don't want your disgusting ass foot.
Get your fucking nasty ass foot down there.
Good.
It's going to pay a chance.
You want to finish it?
Young.
You want to finish it?
You want your kneecap.
Do you want your kneecap?
Get your dirty ass foot.
Do you?
Get your nasty, crusty ass foot down there.
I don't want your crusty ass foot anywhere near me.
Do you want your kneecap?
I do not want your crusty ass foot anywhere near me.
I just answered your question.
No, that's not the answer.
I just answered your question.
Do you want your kneecap?
Because I know if I put my shoe back on, you're going to finish the statement, and I got into you.
So I'm standing on business.
Standing on business.
Bidding.
S-O-B.
You got to say it out the younger say it.
S-O-B. You heard that song?
Standing on business.
S-O-B.
I hear that one.
You got to get in with the culture, my friend.
I got to be in with the young crowd, man.
Yeah, come on, bro.
I mean, I already said it right, though.
Standing on business.
S-O-B.
Hey, yo.
You doing that shit again?
No.
You used the motherfucking tell me to be patient.
Patience in a pet of mine.
You fucked me.
I'm the only friend I found.
Don't worry.
All right.
How long do you think?
How many episodes do you think it'll take for you to be a German
man?
I don't know.
We got to talk about this bad content.
Roger don't even want to step out of there.
Why do you hate Roger so much?
Stop with your damn speech.
Just say the pen.
Oh yeah they're playing in Brazil.
What?
What do you mean you can't picture it?
I just can't picture it.
I feel like Brazil unless they've planted a soccer stadium.
Literally I'm thinking about what I'm doing right now.
I'm literally going through a hinge.
You're going through a hinge.
This is why you need Love, Mass, and Melinda in your life.
Philadelphia Eagles select.
The Eagles are back from Toledo.
Oh oh dancing in September.
Oh yeah.
I'm glad you get invited to the draft every single year.
What advice do you need from Love, Mass, and Melinda?
How do I get women?
Is that a question?
I'm on the Tiki Top.
I'm on the Tindin Winders.
Get off your damn phone and go speak to a woman in person.
That's fucking real life facts.
Should I not get drunk?
It depends on if she is drunk.
Going to bar and getting drunk?
It also depends on how much money you got to spend.
Are the days worth the work?
You probably shouldn't do that every weekend.
I don't know.
You get drunk every weekend?
That's a good bit.
Just for clarification.
He was hungover in other episodes as well.
I don't think we need it anymore.
I wish we went to Tigerland today.
I really wish.
I don't think I can go to Tigerland dressed like this.
What time do you work tomorrow?
9.30am.
That freaking sucks.
You work all day Thursdays?
It's this reason though.
I don't work all Saturday morning.
Let's do a little one on one interview.
Hello everyone.
I'm here with my friend Evan.
Evan, how's your day today?
Very tired.
I'd like to get to know your personal life.
What did you do today after you woke up?
I just answered the question.
I got up, broke my teeth, did all that.
Went to school, went home, went back to school.
Showed up for a little bit.
Then I drove another 20-30 minutes to Wingstop.
Wingstop is in Baton Rouge.
It's a 10 minute drive from the studio.
Then I drove all the way here.
Then we started a podcast.
We started running from the drive store.
It was a long one.
What I think you need to do for your editing,
is get rid of all the parts that we talked about Uber Eats.
That's valuable conversation.
We need to tip Uber Eats drivers.
Back to interview. What is your job like?
I do.
I enjoy my job. I do not only get by.
Describe your responsibilities at your job.
I train other people to be like me.
I do not overcook something.
I just come in and do everything.
The Jacksonville Jaguars just drafted with pick number 23.
Ryan Thomas Jr.
That's a great pick.
We're a little biased.
All these dudes are big.
Why do you say that all the time?
I'm going to count. I'm going to re-watch this podcast.
There's a difference between average sidewinder and Michael Thomas.
Michael Thomas was in shape.
He was big.
I feel like we should end it off with the cowboy one.
I don't think we should be caring about the cowboy.
Just so we can shit on him.
That's fair.
I'm going to say that I'm going to
I'm going to