Welcome back to the Extra Spicy Five. Today we got a good bit of topics for you to look at.
We got the playing tournaments and playoff predictions. We're going to argue our best fast food chains.
We are also going to talk about our NFL draft party later tonight and we're going to do like a little five minute segment on the Ryan Garth hit plate.
Now, after right now, we're watching Lane and his team get dog walked right now.
Okay, calm down with all the hostility, they're not getting dog walked.
No, they're getting dog walked.
Currently we're watching the Heat versus South Dicks and the playoffs.
As of right now, Boston's up 26-14 in the first quarter. Still anyone's gaining plenty of time left.
No one knows how this game is going to go. Honestly, Miami couldn't win this game, you know?
Right now they're down 26-17, so they're down by 9 right now.
Okay, let's calm down with the dog walking.
They're getting dog walked.
I'm not going to make fun of your team if you don't make fun of my team. Can we agree on that?
Yes, because hold on, let me talk about this shit for a second motherfucker. Let's get into this, okay?
You are bad luck. We're going to say that because if you ain't talking about, oh man, y'all are going to make the playoffs,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And you know what happened the very next game after you're talking all that shit?
What?
You, your most favorite team, the Philadelphia 76ers, whooped your favorite team's ass.
Not only that, your favorite player got hurt, and your main player got hurt.
So you know what, I think that's just God being like, huh.
I think he talked enough shit.
Are you really rooting for a player's injury right now?
No.
But Hami Hawkeyes just made an amazing player there. Show some love to Hami Hawkeyes real quick.
He got cooked up literally the second play.
We love you, Hami. We love you, Hami.
No, I don't root for anybody's injury or anybody's injury. I'm just saying, karma the bitch.
And that's what karma is. And you can't lie about that. You set us both up for that.
Set us both up for what? What are you talking about?
You were talking shit.
When was I talking shit?
When? When?
Doing what? What was I doing?
Being like, damn, y'all are going to eliminate me. Not another year in the playoffs for the Pelicans.
When did I say that?
You said that literally. I'm like, that's not right.
Did I think they were going to lose to the King?
Yes, you did think they were going to lose to the King. You literally told me before we started the game.
You were correct. I did think they were losing to the King.
Exactly.
Hey, all credit though, I went to that game. Pelican versus Kings. That was a good game.
That was a good game. Just saying.
He's secretly a Pelican fan, but let's get into this. Okay.
I am not a Pelican fan. I'm a Heat fan. My heat all the way.
Well, right now their score is 26-21. They're down by five.
Just wait until something's put in their starter. But anyway.
So what do you think about the playing tournaments?
I love them. I love them. I thought. I mean, okay.
First of all, when they first introduced the playing tournament, I thought it was stupid.
And you can attest to that. I told you that.
He did say it was dumb, but I thought it was actually a pretty clever idea.
I mean, unless you're in the situation that both of our teams are in, then it just sucks.
Because you could get knocked out of the playoffs.
No, I mean, yeah. When they first implemented the playing tournament, I thought it was so dumb. I thought it was so stupid.
And maybe I'm just the type of person to be hesitant to change.
But over time, I've come to enjoy the playing tournament.
You have one through six moves onto the playoffs, whereas the seven, eight, nine, and ten seed are in a little playing tournament to decide who gets to be the seven and eight seed to move on to face the one and two seeds.
I mean, it's kind of that wild card format in baseball to me. I pretty much think it's cool now having what, three, four years of the playing tournament now.
Is it the third or fourth year of the playing tournament? Third. Third. Yeah.
I mean, it's right. It's coarse. It's good now. I've come to like it.
Fun fact for you. Jonas Allen-Tunis is the leading person in playing tournaments.
Can you stop? In points, three bounds, and minutes, actually.
Can you stop? It's just a statistical fact. Please stop. This is ridiculous.
It's a statistical fact? Stop. Stop what? It's a very statistical fact. Stop with your nonsense. Please.
Please. This is why you're losing today's game. Okay. You talk so much shit. Okay. Stop.
We're going to have to make fun of each other, teams, because this little queue is really pissing me off. Please stop.
See, this brings a smile to my face because the amount of times he does this shit to me. I do not.
That is a fucking lie. When have I ever? When have we been live watching a Pelicans game and I've been roasting your team?
When? When is that? Every time we go to a game. Every single text message sometimes.
Hold up. Every time we go to a game, the Pelicans win, other than when we got a heat game, and then the heat win.
I don't think we've ever been to a Pelicans loss. How do we? We have. We went to one this year.
The Minnesota game, where they lost by a point. The day before my birthday. Remember?
I don't remember that shit. I must have a bad memory. It was literally November.
I must have a bad memory. Because remember, I was about to turn 21 the next day, and you literally went and got a drink and you were like, oh man, you can't even get a drink at the game.
Oh yeah, do you remember that night actually? Yeah, that night.
Yeah, we lost by one. Lost by one. Okay.
But don't worry, now that everything is evenly now, we probably do have to go to another heat or spells game.
We do. That's like our yearly tradition. I always go to heat when they play indie games.
Well, we did it like two years ago. Yeah, we did do it two years ago.
We did it last year. Did we do it last year? Yeah, we did do it last year. Last year, yeah. In 2020, we... Yeah, we did do it last year.
Because we sat by the court side watching warm up. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. I love my heat. It's such a fun team. Don't watch.
Evan doesn't approve. He's shaving his head. You're right. I don't approve. That's the thing. But let's do playing reaction this year.
Like what do we think of this year's playing games? So I thought I didn't... I'm not gonna lie. I genuinely thought the Kings were gonna beat us this time.
What do you do? That's what I told him to. Oh, you're roasting me for saying that. Yeah, but here's the reason. I have like legit reason why.
Because I have reasons why too. What was your reason? Zion was out. That's it? That's it? That's the only reason? Yeah.
I thought the Kings were a better team than them. Zion being there. I thought that literally, Demontes of Oaks was gonna cook the whole time.
But apparently not. So there's more De'Ari Fox than anybody. It was, but De'Ari Fox was missing a lot of shots. I mean, he wasn't very efficient with the shots.
He did score like 37 points. He scored a lot, but he wasn't very efficient. He was missing a lot of three quarters. He was like four for 16 from three.
But then again, they were missing a lot of people. They only missed two people. They were missing Malik Monk and Kevin Herger. Yeah.
They lost their good people in that game. But I mean, let's start out with playing games. So... Oh, the Warriors and Kings. Warriors Kings.
That was a pretty good game. No. It wasn't close at the end, but it was close at halftime and the Kings kind of rolled with it and scored a lot.
I mean, Steph played a good game. Clay was disappointed. It kind of looked like Clay was gonna retire after it because he was looking back at the crowd doing the jubreese.
Then it went over King. If I was Clay, I would retire. I would retire. I'd be hitting the gym with something else. I mean...
I mean, he just passed his prime. At a certain point, you can't like come back. He... I mean, no. The thing with that is though, the way he plays does not really require any athletic ability.
I'm not saying it doesn't require any athletic ability. I'm just saying like, for his style of play, you know what I mean?
He practically just spots up shoots a little bit. He can dribble a little bit. He's not that athletic. We don't see him just doing like 360 windmills and shit.
So like, his role doesn't really have a prime-based thing, if you know what I mean. It's like a Kyle Corver or JJ Redding type role, but not really though.
Not really.
But you see the comparison I'm trying to get. It didn't really require you to be in your prime, but it's like...
Yeah, I understand that. Look at the Warriors' future. I mean, they have some decisions to make with Clay and Draymond and...
Because they have the old dudes and then they have the young studs like Brandon, Przyszczanski, John McEweny, John McEweny, yeah, yeah.
I do think though that, of a Warrior GM, I'd go talk to Seth. Be like, look, what do I need to change?
What do I need to change?
Like, what do I need to get? Who do I need to get in order to make the team great again?
Because that'd be important. Like, important to Nightclub.
No, I don't want to stack as a GM. Like, that's how you get LeBron as a GM, fucking up everything. LeBron is not a good GM.
I don't know, but that's also because some of the stuff that actual GM does though, it's like, it wasn't really good.
Like, look at the team vision, okay? Who thought that signing Jackson Hayes was a good idea?
Who thought?
I was saying he's good in neurons. I thought you should play more time in neurons.
And really, you weren't playing more time. So I get why you left. Of course I would have left because of Jackson Hayes.
But he's doing the same thing over there. He's sitting more on the bench.
Yeah. At least, like, whenever we first got JD, he played a little bit of like power forward. He played a little bit of it.
Jackson Hayes should be playing.
So like, maybe not starting, but he should be on the bench.
Or he should have minutes. Or it's probably like a DeAndre Jordan type thing.
Where, you know, DeAndre Jordan was a good center at one point.
But then, you know, Steph Curry changed the game so much where bigs have to shoot the three.
That's not Jackson Hayes' style. We honor that. It's the athletic finisher goes to the goal, don't get bogged, do whatever.
He's not really a shooter type.
So what are the Warriors going to do with Draymond in play?
I mean, like I said, if I was player, I would retire. And then Draymond, I would keep Draymond around the Warriors.
He's a good veteran presence in the locker room.
I'm trading Draymond.
Why?
Because, one, I'm kind of bringing offense at this point. Offense and then now a net.
He does bring some good value to the team. But then at the same time though, I'm also saving up a lot of cap space.
For what?
Just like the signage to anybody.
Like, because you got to think. If they get the cap space and they're going to be able to sign whoever they want.
They can sign a yokegator, whoever they want. I'm not saying that's going to be a thing.
But like, it just sets them up a bit more.
I mean, but I mean, every good team has to have like a couple of bad teams.
They have a core group of guys in going to see it. It's not like they need a big fish to catch with some big cap space.
They have Steph. They have Clay Thompson needs to retire. They're going to have Draymond still.
They'll have Brandon Krasinski. They'll have Kevon Looney is getting older. He might want to think about retiring.
I would maybe leave you where Kevon Looney.
But you have Kaminga. I mean, you have players going state to be able to make the playoffs. Right?
To a certain extent. If they were, like we said, it is past their prime though.
Steph can only do so much.
Steph can?
Yeah, he's in order.
So that's why I say you need to start creating for players, start creating things, doing all this.
That way you can be able to prepare for Steph's retirement, I guess.
So then that's what I personally think.
So then let's go to the next Western Conference game, the Lakers-Bellagans.
Lakers-Bellagans.
I personally think off a statistical analysis that I've seen, we got rocked.
Before you're like, you're doing a modest ass Pelicans game. Tell me how you're doing that.
There is no way we can get 68 points in the pink and only shoot 15 free throws.
Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop, stop. I'm going to stop you right there before you start doing your nonsense.
Okay, the Pelicans should have won that game. I was watching the game. They should have won it.
But they blew it.
They blew two Lakers.
I will say that though, we were up at first, but at the same time though, when the Lakers are shooting game near 33 throws, it does change the game a little bit.
Okay, so the Lakers lose some games. Are you saying everything is rigged for the Lakers to win or lose certain games?
Is that what you're saying?
I mean, it's LeBron.
I don't care who it is.
They could be rigging it for LeBron.
Did they win the Western Conference last year? No, they didn't. They lost it. They got swept.
And over in your case, you're saying, oh, it's LeBron. So should he have won it last year?
Is Adam Seidel wrong for not winning it last year? No.
What are you even saying?
Because AD got outworked by Nikola Jokic, and then they couldn't do nothing about the guard play. That's different.
Y'all have no one to hold AD. The Pelicans are not a big team. They don't have much strength. They don't have much size.
But free throws do come into effect, and Zion doesn't get practically any balls.
You've gone through the games firsthand. You've seen the motherfucker grow up for a layup and get fouled all over.
And he'll rarely get a call, but he ain't gonna get the angle just flat out.
I did not listen to any excuses about Zion and I can't even cause.
Okay, that's the thing.
You know what? Let's get to the next game. Philly in Miami.
Okay. Kelly Oubre is a bitch.
Oh my god.
Did you see that play where you did, Jimmy? Did you see it?
I'm asking you a question.
Yes, I did. Absolutely.
He jumped up and he kicked his leg into the MCL of Jimmy Butler, or the knee.
And now Jimmy Butler's out.
He looked like he connected with it.
What?
He didn't even look like he connected with it.
No, he didn't. He injured Jimmy Butler. And that's a dirty ass play on Kelly Oubre.
That's now my least favorite play in NBA, is Kelly Oubre.
Go ahead. What are you gonna say? Go ahead. Talk.
So that's the root of it?
Talk, talk, talk.
Is that the reason you lost that game?
Yes, it is.
No, cause y'all had.
And Jimmy was, if Jimmy was injured, he would have played harder.
He would have had more points for the whole game.
But he was playing through that injury the rest of the game.
Was he on?
Y'all were still down. Y'all literally, they literally won by three.
They won by one.
Oh, they won by one. Oh, but that even works.
How is that worse?
Y'all could have done, you have one of the greatest head coaches in NBA history, right?
Thanks for watching.
One of the greatest, yes.
Thank you for that amazing point right there. I'm glad you can acknowledge it.
No, so let me get this straight. Let me get this straight. I'm gonna make this argument to you.
gets injured it's hard to win that game so when you start playing it injured in
the game to try to replace what that player got introduction wise without
having practice without him that's hard I'm gonna say this go ahead you know who
sold it for y'all Tyler Hero he had that game I agree with you
no yeah that shot if he doesn't shoot that shot literally y'all still y'all
could have been up if he does not shoot that shot that Nicholas platoon just
what Nicholas platoon platoon block okay that was one play but it was a very
critical play at a very critical time first of all yes how you're gonna back
it and I do criticize him a lot that he can you stop please he shot a three with
like three seconds left but he waited a couple seconds before shooting it what
time was running out of the game I'm like fucking time to shoot the ball and
he made the three and at that point we're down by one but there's 0.3
seconds left in the game and now when they sell it through just literally
six years to it in balance and it went out of bounds off of I think Joel
and beater tires maxi and that's like me saying
oh man I got beat by 27 but but if I had more time we I couldn't get back in one
that would yeah I could see you say something like that that's something
you're saying right now okay that's it saying we got beat by 27 we got beat by
one it was clear the ball went out of bound if there was a couple more seconds
left in the game clock we cut a one that came easily but like I said you have one of the greatest head coaches in NBA history you would think he'd drop an amazing play to get you more than one point right and with all those amazing shooters you could you can hit a three hit a little midi even go for a off
your argument makes no sense and then the context of the game you're just saying the what for the best coach of all time should have you get another point somewhere your argument makes zero sense at all what your argument is stupid look look look may I say that look I get it I get it you got beat by a team that you do not like I got beat by one point and a team by a team I do not like and a team that we should have one we
blew the game yeah yeah yeah Kelly you're right Andrew Jimmy Butler and Jimmy was
helping the whole game we wanted one night game easily Jimmy got hurt and
therefore he did not play good the rest of the game after his injury and he
would have been healthy and played good we wouldn't have been in that position
that's like bro that's like me saying if Zion played in the playing game against
the king we would have smoked the king that's probably you you think that right
you probably think that right exactly what but but do that do that so I said oh
my god okay next game next game bulls and hawks I'm gonna be honest I don't care about this game I didn't watch this game I didn't really care about this game I probably look into this game I was more disappointed in Atlanta
because they instead of just I could I've been watching like I like for him like
after seeing that for a couple years and how they were like literally in the
Eastern Conference finals a couple years back to now barely making the playoffs
or not even making the playoffs it is very sad but I'm gonna speak on the bulls
from the same point I thought the bulls should have won against Miami wait let's
not move on from the previous game but but I'm gonna say that the Martyrs was the reason that they got through a game
I picked the Hawks to win that game um they had Trey Young come back healthy I just
picked the Hawks turned out the bulls dominated the Hawks Kobe White went off
for like 40 something right yeah and like you were saying I'm disappointed in the Hawks
this Trey Young DeJon DeMurray thing is not working at all it's not they got to
switch it up they gotta do something else yeah and it's clearly not working
exactly Mary Tray Tray Young well they kind of do it I'm up again if I'm the
one I try to grab the carry on and Lena if you're from Atlanta you gotta trade
him okay so but I'm gonna go after you know I wouldn't look for you but we
still need like a genuine point card so you did not a point oh okay yeah who's
me no who's just saying see oh you're shooting
burden her but we sure how was that gonna work that was good I'm if I'm
them Pelicans I don't need a huge roster move I would not do that that's a bad
move I'm that's a bad move that absolutely not first of all okay first
of all if I'm the Hawks you need to do something different this is no can we
do that yeah but I'd be kind of glad you're a big man though if I'm the Hawks
personally all right and it's written drop better yes what do you say about
everything everything is in these two drop better I mean let me tell you that
but I mean that's like literally the point of the draft though you don't know
what you're gonna get you don't know what you're gonna get yeah but your job
okay when we we obviously know what we're supposed to do but but your job is to do is to literally go and scout
if these people are league ready mm-hmm and so that's why they get paid big bucks and that's why
the good things that are good yeah look at the Thunder for example but then
again they also like they get like five first round picks every year so you can
you can have five first round picks and miss on all of those picks that doesn't
necessarily bother you know you got that you got one no there's that's no
guarantee you can miss on every single one of these but there's no guarantee
that you're gonna come up what are we considering as a miss are we can't
considering a miss I've been like a like drafting an Anthony Bennett or
drafting like a I'm not gonna he and he in a mist but Kevin Herger like are we
considering that a miss or like it depends where you want to draft if you
win the first well I'm expecting someone who contributes the team if you draft
in the second round I'm expecting like a decent bench fighter I mean you agree
that to a certain extent because it depends on let's just say like it's
like the Warriors for my couple years back whenever they were winning their
kids and shit they just be jacking players just to have them on the bench
yeah so it just really depends on how good the team is but what I'm saying is like if you're the Oklahoma City Thunder and you know how to draft then you're gonna end up like the Oklahoma City Thunder now that's not a thing
Shout out to same press team
all right heat balls I personally thought that the martyrism was gonna turn up
the heat you picked the bulls to win yeah you really did honestly and I thought
tomorrow the world was actually turning up because I thought okay this may know
nothing about basketball you're what I thought they know nothing about basketball
if he called her hasn't told you anything it teaches you that when the heat need to
win big games suppose gonna get a ring to win big games look I was
disappointed everywhere around but I thought tomorrow was gonna set it up
bro how about you just recognize the heat defense they play great zone they yeah
the Hawks don't play defense it's not hard to play defense that's why they
score less points it's just riding you just dribble the ball into like you
break the zone why does everything do that why is it every day to really look
how do you win games look how do you win games then offense and he trends wins
championship we're talking championships or we're talking about
we made the finals twice I don't want to hear please stop you have no
conception of what a good basketball team I literally witnessed it literally
LA Beach all the other people all right next game when has your team made the
finals Evan we're a 20 year old franchise we're not that old land in 20
years old and you haven't made the finals one land how I made the conference
finals one slain understand this my team was signing Omar Asik to big contracts
where we are at now is the best point at where we are at we had Alexis Aginso as
a starter think about that and we're not that old landin so that this is
literally awesome becoming better and better by the time I'm 40 years old we're
gonna be someone I look at that fucking team so you're saying you're not a good
team right now I mean for fucking a franchise I got started 20 years ago we
would be a good asking you're a good team really really we're gonna get into
the worst teams of all time later in the pod and we're gonna expose the Pelicans
for being the worst team in NBA but right now let's move on to the rest of
the playoffs give our official playoff predictions official on the pod whoever
gets the most gate here on this most right bracket is gonna win points and
the little game we play in our head yeah yeah you know we're gonna actually have
a prize for that we're gonna get a prize for between but bless winner has to do
something lose everything so I don't fucking know all right yeah yeah we're
gonna have that I'm gonna go for it and I'm gonna give you my own thing I got are
we doing like how many games they're gonna win to yeah okay yeah well we need
to write this down after the pod to like make it official we're gonna write down
that are we not sitting right so fucking up
you go there I'm look I'm gonna take my predictions right now you right now
you're closing all right all right yeah yeah yeah yeah like right okay so are we
doing like first round or we just doing like how many games are gonna win okay
so first round okay see you in six
try this we're having technical difficulties right now or you try this
right now okay okay Dallas and Dallas and six
actually not a thousand seven
Minnesota and five Denver and six
okay
sorry about that everyone technical difficulties we're back at it now um
we're gonna give you our official playoff predictions with my dear friend
Evan who's kind of an idiot he's gonna start off okay well fuck you too Apple so
we get this kind of it's how you doing well okay right so you picked okay see
in six thousand seven Dallas seven Minnesota five five good and Denver and
six all right no do what's first so you're breaking down that at all well
okay and over Dallas okay Denver and Denver
Denver and six got it go ahead okay okay Denver is going to come in
spot Denver and Denver and seven Denver and seven okay no sweeps in the West
guy good go east what you got so big Miami give me Boston Boston five Boston
give me Cleveland and six give me the Milwaukee and
could I like but give me the Pacers and seven then finally New York and 76ers
and 75
you can
Boston Sir's Blue
New York in...
New York and
Boston in four.
Ooh, sweep.
Your first sweep of the whole playoffs.
Go ahead.
Denver, South X finals.
Who you got?
Give me Boston in six.
Okay.
All right.
Interesting, interesting picks you out.
Now I'm going to give everyone my picks and mine are probably going to be more right than
others.
As you all know, I'm the superior person.
He thinks he has a superior ad line.
I do.
There is no right thing.
I only have a superior line.
He doesn't watch a lot of basketball.
I'm literally watching basketball right now.
You didn't know we had a good zone.
My dude, we have a good zone.
That's why teams have been beating it.
No.
Okay.
Write your picks.
A whole lot.
Write your picks.
No.
I don't want to hear it.
I'm going to break down your statement, right?
So if you know how to beat the zone, then why doesn't every team know how to beat the
zone?
And why doesn't every team just beat Miami every single time?
Every team does know how to beat the zone.
So why the Bulls lose then?
Why did the Bulls lose to the Heat?
What offense do the Bulls bring other than Kobe White, Demarca Rosen, Nikola Vujicic?
Nikola Vujicic is not offense.
Alex Guruchov?
Alright, whatever, Ivan.
Sore Sport over here.
I'm going, let's see, Thunder Pelicans.
I'm going Thunder in, give me Thunder in five.
Clippers Dallas, give me Dallas in six.
Let's see, Suns Wolves.
I guess give me Minnesota in five.
We only watched the game that series, and I expected that series to be pretty close,
but based on the last game, that's why I'm saying Wolves in five.
Lakers Nuggets?
Denver is going to sweep the Lakers, yet again, because the Lakers are do-do.
Alright, and then we, so now I have the Thunder and Mavericks, meaning I'm in the second round.
I picked Dallas to win that series in, let's say, seven.
Dallas in seven, and now we have the Timberwolves and Nuggets.
I'm going to say Nuggets in six.
So conference finals, Western Conference Finals, I got the Mavericks and the Nuggets.
I'm going to pick-
Wait, Mavericks and the Nuggets in the Conference Finals?
I do.
I have the Mavericks and the Nuggets.
I have the Mavericks beating the Thunder.
I don't think the Thunder is going to beat the Mavericks.
I think Luka and Tyrese are going to be too much for the Thunder.
I'm a big fan of Luka and Tyrese.
I mean, I'm cool with either pick, but like-
Yeah.
I mean-
I mean, you say that like it's weird-
I'm going to say this.
Wait, oh, you have to beat Gohan in seven.
I don't know.
I thought you had him beating them in like five.
I'm like, whoa.
I'm going to beat Gohan in seven against the Thunder.
And then Western Conference Finals, Mavericks versus Nuggets.
Oh my God.
Give me the Nuggets.
And- ooh, I'm so sorry.
All right, sneeze.
Nuggets in five.
Western Conference Finals.
Okay.
Now the Eastern Conference-
You can see this is where you're going to be wrong.
Stop.
Okay.
I'm going to say it the best way.
So let's just go to New York, Philly.
Give me New York in six.
Milwaukee, Indiana.
I really want to pick Indiana.
I really, really do.
I want to pick Indiana in seven, but for some reason I just can't pick Indiana right now.
I just can't.
I'm picking Milwaukee in seven.
Okay.
And then we got the Magic and the Cavs.
Based on yesterday's game and just what I'm feeling, the Magic are too young of a team.
They don't have the experience.
So give me Cleveland in five, honestly.
Give me Cleveland in five.
Maybe even four.
I don't know, but I'm going to say five.
No facial.
Or Leonard's going to give one to you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now for the pick of the century-
Please be realistic.
Stop being realistic.
Okay.
I'll break it down.
Okay.
My realistic prediction and my Heat fandom 100% land in Heat win the finals prediction.
I want realistic as in what I think.
I know we going to get dog walk, but we going to get dog walk like that.
I'm going to give you my realistic predictions officially, but I'm also going to tell you
my 100% Heat fandom finals prediction, right?
Okay.
Okay. My 100% Heat fandom prediction, Heat in six.
I don't see us winning in four or five.
I think we could probably win in six.
And this is coming from the Heat thing?
That's the 100% Heat fandom prediction.
Now the actual side.
Let's get into the actual side.
What up?
So I just got to say, Tyler Hero is going to go off.
Jami Hekos is going to prove why he's on the top rookies, number three of our rookie this year.
Man of Boston in four.
That's what he's trying to say.
Stop, stop.
Nikola Jovich, he's a good ass player, good ass 20 year old player.
He's younger than me.
And he plays like some dude who's out of his mind.
He doesn't.
Bam is defensive player of the year for a reason.
That's why he's going to lock up every Celtics player.
What are you trying to say here?
You done yet?
You hyping up all these players just to say Boston in four.
Stop.
Okay.
My realistic prediction, it pains me to say this because I hate the Celtics with the passion we've played in the past few playoff seasons.
I hate picking Boston.
I really, really do.
It pains me to say this.
But they have Jimmy Butler, so Boston in four.
Yeah, okay.
So they don't have Jimmy Butler.
So it's going to be hard for him to win any playoff series, much less against Boston Celtics, the best team in the NBA.
I have to go Celtics.
I'm going Boston and I could legit see them sweeping us.
I don't want it to happen.
I'm going to go Boston in five.
But I could legit see it happening in four.
And I hate saying that.
But I just have to say it.
All right.
Next one.
Yeah, so second round.
Milwaukee, New York.
I have New York in five.
Hurt Yanis will not be enough to beat the Knicks.
Dames not enough to beat the Knicks.
The Bucks as a whole won't go enough to beat the Knicks.
And Boston's going to beat Cleveland in five.
And then Boston, New York in the conference finals.
That's going to be a good series.
I have Boston in six.
And so Nuggets, Boston in the finals.
I think we both have Nuggets, Boston in the finals.
We do.
I'm having Nuggets in five.
OK, so we got different outcomes.
We kind of have the same bracket, but different outcomes.
Similar brackets, but yeah, different outcomes.
I think the Nuggets have beat the Celtics twice this season.
And they're clearly better than the Celtics in my opinion.
I feel like Jayson's name is going to give them a little bit of a holdup.
OK, Celtics, Nuggets.
Let's compare the two.
Because I'm glad we both agree that that's the finals prediction.
So better center, obviously Nuggets.
Better point guard, Nuggets.
Yeah.
Yeah?
I mean, I'm glad you agree.
It depends on what you're going for.
If you're going offense, I'll give it to the Nuggets.
If you're going for defense, I'll give it to the Boston Nuggets.
What about overall?
Overall.
This is what I'm saying, overall.
I don't know.
Come on.
Come on, Adam.
Be real here.
Keep it under.
That's what I genuinely don't know.
Because Drew is good.
He can score too.
Drew can score.
Like, Drew Holliday is one of the most underrated fighters of all time.
Though, OK, Holliday is a comparison.
He's going to go against Jamal Murray, which is a better player.
Jamal is a better player.
Come on.
Especially in the playoffs.
You have a separate playoffs.
But, OK, small forward, obviously Jason Tatum versus who's on Denver.
Here's a small forward, but I think they got Aaron Gordon as a power forward, I think.
They got...
Yeah, well, Jason Tatum wins, Drew Bellas, who's on Denver.
They got Jamal Brown.
Jamal Brown better than their other shooting guard.
OK, power forward.
Aaron Gordon is going to win that matchup.
Yeah, because I don't know where they put it in first off.
First off, they put it in the center, then they put it in the center.
Then, yeah, they're carrying more than they're going to get that.
OK, so we have three out of the five positions that never get to win, right?
We both agree on that.
I'm not about that.
OK, we have, OK, we said two are obviously better.
One's a wash, and then two are better for Boston.
Well, I guess, right?
Both sides have two, but one tiebreaker is literally just the point guard version.
OK, then that's a wash. That's even then.
OK, who has the better coach?
I'll ask you that.
If you get this wrong, Nick Crone.
You're going to be like Mike Malone.
Obviously, yes.
I wouldn't even know all that.
Dude, you won Coach of the Year.
The other coach has not.
I mean, Michael Malone is one of the top five best coaches in the NBA right now.
Joe Masula inherited a great team.
He hasn't really proved anything over else.
I mean, but she's obviously going to think, literally, like last year, he had to deal with the, wasn't it, the Ima Yudoka situation?
I don't care.
You should.
Why?
Because he literally had to take him literally in the middle of the season.
And that's not the hardest thing to do in the world?
As a coach, it is, because you've got to implement these guys with a game plan in the middle of the season to actually push them to make a playoff.
OK, so are you going to say that he's a better coach than Mike Malone?
Good.
We don't want to. We don't see. We don't wait for the...
Who is the better coach in your opinion?
Joe Masula.
Jesus Christ.
Joe Masula.
This man is unreal right here. He is terrible.
We're saving these predictions and we're going to wait until after the playoffs are done to see who has the most right picks.
We don't beat Berkara or something.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. No doubt.
We don't beat Berkara or something.
OK. All right. Where are we going?
So we're going to do the worst professional sports team in each league.
Yes.
So the NBA.
OK, so I'm a basketball. I guess you've been talking about basketball episodes.
So I must say for NBA, it's literally the Hornets.
I already know what the fuck you're going to say.
Yeah. You do know what you're going to say.
Oh, it's going to be the Pelicans.
We did reality though. We're young. Like I said, Hornets are also young.
Right?
Now Hornets had their bubble young, but Hornets have been in the league longer than the Pelicans.
A few more years. Five more years maybe.
No, I'm going to even say five more years. They still been in the league longer.
But.
Why? Why? Come on. Come on, tell me why.
Why?
You got to give points.
They had all the chance to rebuild with all the years that they had.
And the only time that I see them make the playoffs was with Kimball Walker.
Literally the only time.
OK, so is our little fight right now going to be the Pelicans versus Hornets?
Which one is the worst team? Is that our fight right now?
Is any other team anything in consideration?
I don't know.
I could say a hot take and say.
What's your hot take?
I could say Minnesota. But before you're like, they're doing really fucking good this season.
No, this is all time. This isn't just one season.
Oh, well then Minnesota.
No.
What happened?
No.
Minnesota hasn't done the same match as we have.
They've been to a conference finals, whereas those other teams have not.
Therefore, you cannot say.
The Tampa Bulls have one of the best players, top 20 players probably.
If not top 30. And Kevin Burnett.
Don't type, bro. That comes up on the podcast. Don't type.
Look, man. Look at my team.
We have to get better content on here.
Because we got to get rolling in the dough.
Speaking of that, I'm going to come up with an element.
I'm going to come to you later after the episode talking about sponsorship opportunities.
Like for real though.
Like for real.
Why? You got to monetize this.
You mean you got a sponsorship?
I'll fuck you about it.
Go ahead. Go ahead and do the lame ass point. Go ahead.
See, I could say a bunch of teams. Brooklyn Eats.
Brooklyn Eats have been to the finals.
They've been to the finals.
So every team that's been to the finals, you cannot put in the same category as teams that haven't been to the finals.
What?
No, for real.
They have not won a championship. They're literally in there.
Brooklyn?
Okay, watch this.
If you've been to the finals, you can't be in the same category with teams that have never been to the finals.
Yes, you can.
No, there's different levels to being bad.
Even to the finals.
What's the difference between the Boston Celtics and the Miami Heat?
The Celtics have more championships.
Yes.
Okay then.
But how many championships does the Brooklyn Eats have?
Zero.
How many championships does the New Orleans Celtics have?
Zero.
How many championships?
The Nets have been to the finals.
So they still invent the same amount of rings.
It doesn't matter.
What's the difference between success in that season and reaching the finals?
If you've never been to the biggest stage, how many of the worst teams that have been to the biggest stage?
To you, that's practically saying, hey, Little Virginia won a participation trophy just for being in the finals.
Bro, okay.
The Atlanta Falcons and the Houston Texans, all time, the Falcons are better because they've made the Super Bowl.
They've never won it, but they've made it, whereas the Texans have never made the Super Bowl.
Wait until this year.
Dude, okay.
Let's stick to basketball now.
You have your trash-ass points.
Go ahead.
Washington Wizards.
They've won championships.
They've won a championship.
Yes.
A long time ago, but they've won a championship.
I swear, if you're counting like the years whenever the Plumbers were playing, I'm...
That counts.
That counts?
Those are NBA championships, is it not?
So are we going to discredit all those substance championships in the early years then?
We can, yeah.
Okay.
Then we mention history.
Those don't exist then.
Okay.
Good.
Nothing exists.
That's no good to most teams, given they've got championships.
The only thing that exists is this season apparently, I guess.
Great.
No.
Where's the cutoff thing?
Where's the cutoff?
After they're done playing damn Plumbers, land it.
Well, what year?
What year is the cutoff?
Let's see.
They literally...
Tell me where you at.
Tell me.
Right now.
Where's the fact?
I am telling you.
You just won't shut the fuck up.
Tell me then.
I am.
Literally the year Paul Pierce and Kevin Gardner won that.
So the first year we're ever going to count anything is 09?
No, no, no, no.
We're going to cut it.
We're going to start tracking it whenever Larry Berg wins it.
In the 7s?
Yes.
So the 6s don't count?
No.
So Walt Chamberlain does not count?
Walt Chamberlain does not count.
Bill Russell does not count.
Let's be vicious history.
Okay my friend.
Because one, they were winning championships with nine teams in the league.
That doesn't really say much.
That's still a championship.
You're playing against eight other teams.
Okay, so what's the score?
You're making a point.
You're making my point.
But what I'm saying is, if we're making...
But what I'm saying is, being right here.
No.
Because we're not counting the Washington Wizards winning a title back in the 60s when
they were playing against Bumper.
I don't even think they have a championship.
I will look it up but I know you're going to get pissed.
You'll be like, you okay?
But, you know.
I think I'm going to do something.
You're going to do something.
Go ahead.
You go ahead with yourself.
Dude come on.
This isn't good content.
Hurry the fuck up.
Oh my gosh.
What the...
He's such a little bitch.
He can't even take my little...
You know what?
I'm not going to fuck you.
He can't take any criticism.
When me clowning on him, he gets so pissed and upset.
This man right here is more of a pussy than a man.
Hold the fuck up.
Bro, you were getting...
You just literally said in the beginning of the episode, man I'm getting pissed off.
He's dog shitting on my team because my team was getting dog walked.
Yeah motherfucker.
At least I can say my team is going to get dog walked.
See, I can take it and I can dish it.
I can dish it and take it.
Whereas you're like...
I don't know about that.
1978.
Okay then.
We count...
1978.
Are we counting the 70s?
You just said we're counting the 70s.
We'll play a bird.
Oh but now we're not because it doesn't fit your point.
Okay.
I see how it is.
Look.
You know what?
We're going to take Washington now.
We're going to be nice.
Okay.
Brooklyn is still in the conversation.
Okay.
Brooklyn's on the top.
The Hornets.
And we're in there.
And we're going to take Washington.
Okay.
Brooklyn is still in the conversation.
Okay.
Brooklyn's on the top.
The Hornets.
And we're in there.
But we're also young so that literally-
Stop.
You can be young and still not have the success of working here.
A 20 year-old grandchild.
Bro, in 2015, like I said, we had Alexis Agenza as our starting center.
Okay.
And Omar Asik.
Let me make this point real quick.
If I'm a 20 year old versus a 50 year old person, okay, I have less success.
Yes, because I've been alive last year.
And that 50 year old person who makes money and is rich and is successful.
But I'm still not successful.
And I can't just say, oh, I'm young.
It doesn't count.
I know it counts still.
But yes, I'm younger.
It still counts though.
I have less money.
I'm less successful as a person than that 50 year old.
That exact same thing applies to these teams.
Okay.
A 50 year old franchise who has championships.
Yeah, they're successful.
This 20 year old Pelican franchise, they're not successful.
Yeah, they're younger.
But you're also still not successful.
That can be a reason why, right?
And that's the reason you're making, why they're not successful.
But you still just can't say, oh, well, it's invalid.
No, it's still valid.
You're not a successful franchise.
You just are trying to find every little thing to shit on the Pelicans.
Every little thing.
But okay, you know what we're going to do?
No, no.
Do you want me to actually shit on the Pelicans?
The Pelicans have a trash ass arena.
Yeah, I can admit that, yeah.
You agree with that?
Thank you.
I do believe that we need to be fucking rid of these more.
Yes, the arena is trash.
You can say that again.
The fans are trash.
New Orleans is not a basketball city at all.
The game against the Kings, there was lots of NPCs.
Lots of NPCs.
I was there at the game.
I bet if we go to a Miami Heat game,
later, I swear, and I see one NPC,
because the whole stadium could be filled up.
This is you.
The whole stadium could be filled up,
and you just see one NPC, just the one.
Your eyes are going to be like, oh man, look.
New Orleans is not a basketball city.
That one person could show up.
That's literally you.
There was more than one NPC,
but if we want to go to Miami Heat game, please take me.
Please, let's go.
I would love to go to a Heat game in Miami.
Let's go, please, any day.
Let's go.
We're going to play in the trip,
and we're going to film a fight again while we're in Miami.
Yes, please, let's do it.
All right, so we're going to do,
we're just going to do,
why are we looking on time on the podcast?
We're almost an hour now.
We're like wasting a lot of time.
Okay, okay, we need to fucking-
Hold up, all right, let's do NFL.
Yeah, we're definitely going to do NFL.
So who are you thinking of in NFL?
NFL, the worst teams of all time, Texans.
Okay.
Texans, that's my pick.
Just the Texans?
Well, okay, that's my pick, but what is it about time?
If I want to do other teams, I need Texans.
I'll do probably Jaguars, Browns.
Texans, Jaguars, Browns.
I'm saying the Browns.
They're so, they had some,
at least the Texans got it a little bit further, in my opinion.
No, I'm not going to Browns.
I'm going to go Texans and Jaguars.
I'm going Browns.
Browns have won championships.
It was a long time ago, but they won the championship.
Lennon, I fucking swear I'm going to kill you back in this podcast.
Dude.
Bro, next episode, guys, you're just going to be hearing me talk.
Lennon's going to be dead, so.
He's going to be in his little-
Well, if you kill your brother in jail, so.
You're not going to hear a podcast if you're in jail.
I'm going to be filming a podcast in jail, doing a little drumming,
my little fucked little bars, just dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee.
Bitch, how are you going to do a podcast?
I supplied the laptop for the podcast.
Hey, Lennon, how are you going to do a podcast?
Go ahead.
Hey, I've got a garage, man.
Not only that, the Kodak and 6ix9ine can make music inside of jail.
I'm pretty sure I can make a podcast inside of jail.
I would like to.
You know what?
I'm not going to listen to your podcast.
I would not listen to it.
My podcast would be amazing.
Okay, so I do say Browns because just the amount of shit they have gone through.
I mean, I feel bad for the Vans, but.
They've won championships.
You cannot put a team who's won championships in the same category as teams who have not won championships.
Clayton, I'm going to kill you.
My pick is the Texans for the worst branches of all time because they've never been to the Super Bowl.
They've never been to a conference championship game.
Every other team has at least been to a conference championship game.
I thought they had been to a conference championship game.
The Texans have not.
I thought you were.
What?
Oh.
I don't know.
But I'm going to say Browns because.
You know what?
I'm not even going to argue that because I know this month will be like, but they will be.
Okay, I want to hear your point.
When you have 16 or more seasons.
Of like.
Not making the playoffs and like oh and 16.
Like losses.
That's just how you know you're bad.
The team is okay.
I.
We look at the Miami Dolphins right now.
Of course.
Dan Marino.
Dan Marino is going to win me my chip.
But we looking at today's era because you know we said this.
I don't know what.
How we got to distinguish the old era and the new era.
Yeah.
And the new era.
In my opinion.
Cleveland's up because of the consecutive amount of shit they have lost.
I agree with you.
Okay, I'm going to agree with you.
Oh, and the current era.
Cleveland is one of the worst.
But we're talking about all time.
We can break things between current era and all time.
If you want to.
We can break it our birthdays.
But we're saying all time right now.
What?
Why are you looking at me like that?
That's all.
I do like the Texas.
But I'm also fucking.
Also being looking kind of biased.
But.
I really do like the Texas.
So they're not the worst team?
I thought that they were going to get.
Are they one of the worst teams, please?
I think they are.
I think they are one of the worst.
Unless the season proved me wrong.
Until they make the Super Bowl.
Until they make conference finals.
I'm not going to put them out there.
I thought they went to that one with Patrick.
When they faced Patrick.
That was the second round.
That was the conference finals.
Or the conference tickets.
Uh huh.
Yeah.
Well, either way.
Yeah, I do get that.
And then MLB.
Like I said, I don't know shit.
I told myself I'd be doing research on this.
But then literally I've been so busy doing shit.
Where I haven't had the time.
You got to educate yourself my friend.
Get your mind in spiritual soul.
Right.
Be one with the universe.
This is why I couldn't get my production project.
So.
All right.
Well, I'll do my pick for the worst baseball team of all time.
My pick is probably the Rockies.
I like Denver.
I love the city of Denver.
I like their stadium.
I'm afraid of the Rockies.
But they haven't done anything in their history.
That's why I say the worst team.
And baseball.
And you can't argue because you said it yourself.
You don't know anything.
Yeah, I don't think you can say anything.
So I'm guessing that's my pick too.
The Rockies.
All right.
So now.
So before we do anything.
What are we doing about our drag party?
Good light.
Are we going to do it here?
Yeah.
And I just invite people.
We have a big party.
The food and shit.
Let's discuss the apple of the pot.
But I'm going to go.
What's hot about.
I mean, we're going to do a trash day episode of the pot.
And we're going to try to do it live on YouTube or maybe Twitch.
I have the live reaction.
Maybe the first hour or so, like the first round.
Yeah, we probably do the first round.
We don't really care.
Yeah.
I mean, but we could, like, I guess go live for the first hour or so.
The draft.
And then we'll go live for the draft and then record also the audio for the pot.
But it's our.
Because I was thinking, like, you know, us doing a drag party, we can have people
warm the podcast while we're doing it at the same time.
Get other people's takes about football, basketball, whatever.
Because other people also have spicy takes.
Not just Evan and Lincoln.
That's right.
You were absolutely right.
But my friend Evan has a lot of spicy hot takes.
And that's one of my takes of the best.
But anyways.
Best.
Wrong.
Best.
Wrong.
Right.
Anyways.
Then.
OK.
So don't forget.
Draft party Thursday.
Thursday.
April.
Forty fifth.
There's not even 45 days in a week.
All right.
So then.
After that, I'm going to talk about like, you know, Evan's little personal segment again.
You know, the combat sports.
We go crazy.
The Devon Haney and Ryan Garcia fight.
I'm not going to lie to you.
I thought Devon Haney was going to dog walk Ryan Garcia.
But apparently Ryan Garcia proved me wrong.
I was not expecting that whatsoever.
But hey.
I mean, then the guy fought with that left hook.
You know, he guess he got a game plan better.
But that's what I got to say.
But OK.
So now we're going into our last two topics.
Which one do you want to do first?
Do you want to do the best fast move chains?
Or do you want to do what's the best spot to eat after going to the bar?
Let's get the best routine last because we're going to fight about that.
OK.
The best late night place to go is Waffle House.
Oh, Waffle House is legit.
It is like Waffle House at 2 a.m. hits different.
Not really.
None of that.
If you got a bunch of friends and they're not like that, depending on where you're at too, you get to watch some fight free fights.
At the Waffle House and you get a nice ass little waffle.
That sounds like a little bit.
It's not expensive.
I mean, it's really good value for money.
It's like $12 for an all star breakfast.
That's a deal.
Yeah.
Waffle House should sponsor us.
I'll be down for that.
That would be good.
But Waffle House good value free money.
QA and Waffle House hits different.
If you're not in the southeast, then you can't go to Waffle House.
I feel sorry for you.
I'm sorry.
I wish you could come here.
You can't.
You live in a terrible place.
Why they don't have Waffle Houses?
They don't have that madly good Waffle House.
Yeah, they do.
IHOP is alright.
It's not that bad.
But it's not opera.
Not to the level of Waffle House.
See, the thing with being with Waffle Houses, if I see a dirty little kitchen at Waffle House, I know the food is going to be good.
For some reason.
I don't know why.
I don't know how.
I just know the food is going to be fine.
What about late night canes?
Like at 2am go to Canes, get you some food.
I'm not a Canes guy.
No, why not?
It's not.
It's just the chicken.
You don't like the chicken?
The chicken just tastes bland.
It's like...
There's a point in the sauce though.
They dip it in and then dip the chicken in the sauce.
But see, I can't do that Cane sauce.
That's the thing with me.
I was never a big fan of Cane.
I'll give you my go-to Canes order.
The three-piece chicken box with extra crispy fries, extra crispy chicken, honey mustard and Seda Cane sauce.
Because I'm not a fan of Cane sauce either.
I like their honey mustard.
And the Texas toast with butter on both sides.
It's good.
Y'all can go order that.
I'm definitely not.
Evan over here likes the worst food.
He's not a food connoisseur like me.
Big brain laden over here.
What was the best restaurant you ever went to?
The best?
What were we going to have?
The fast food restaurant?
Or just any restaurant?
Any restaurant in general?
Any restaurant in general.
That's a hard one.
I've been to a lot of good restaurants.
Yeah, I have too.
What are you trying to say?
So what's the restaurant?
I don't have to actually just name one.
I've been to a lot of good restaurants.
Bro, you're looking at me right now.
So you haven't gone to any fine dining?
I...okay, look.
Bro, bitch, stop.
Okay, I've been to a lot of good restaurants.
Do you want me to actually name good restaurants I've been to?
Yes.
I've been to this restaurant in San Antonio that was really good.
It's on the top of the America's Tower.
And it actually spins.
The restaurant spins and it gives you views of the whole city.
It's pretty cool.
And they have really good food.
Really good lamb chop.
I had a lamb chop there.
It had some really good corn bisque.
Get you some corn bisque.
So I'm already going to beat everyone or beat you with this.
Whenever I was in Vegas, I went to Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen.
And it was literally the best food of my life.
So therefore, I'm the food connoisseur.
What did you get?
Might I ask?
It was a three-course meal.
Might I ask, what did you get?
It was a three-course meal.
First we got a salad.
Salad?
Then we got a beef Wellington.
Beef Wellington?
Yeah.
And then we had some type of dessert.
Some type of dessert?
What was it ever?
I forgot.
You forgot.
Oh my gosh, you forgot, ladies and gentlemen.
He forgot.
Your points of value, you forgot.
You forgot.
I can show you the picture of the beef Wellington.
Beef Wellington?
Oh my gosh.
Beef Wellington?
No way.
Idiot.
Hot take?
I don't like steak.
What?
Hot take.
Spicy steak.
What?
Extra spicy pot, extra spicy takes.
I don't like steak.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
What?
Whatever.
Come at me.
Bro.
Come at me.
Go ahead.
You are the one person that I know that does not like steak.
And isn't beef Wellington beef?
Because it's literally in the fucking name.
Beef Wellington?
Isn't that a cut of steak, right?
I don't know, but it's on my...
You don't know.
Bro.
I don't know.
Bro.
I gotta be fully...
Okay, what is it?
Uh, I don't know.
Well, I mean, it's, like...
I'm kind of drunk.
Or I'm hungry.
And so, uh...
So, give me...
How long does it take for you to sober up?
Dude, it's two
two o'clock in the afternoon
right here.
How long does it take to sober up?
It takes a big, big bit, actually...
Oh my lord.
I'm the rookie.
You're?
I'm the rookie.
Go ahead.
What?
You know what?
We're going to go out to a bar one day.
And we're going to record podcast episodes after we go to the bar.
That would be great.
So I'll hangover.
We need to do that.
I'll hangover at the bar.
We need to do that.
Absolutely.
And you're going to hear the best takes from me.
Because I'm a great drinker.
What's your favorite drink, Lane?
And let's get into it.
What is my favorite drink?
What is your favorite drink?
Honestly, like, I mean, what can I drink?
What's your go-to drink?
You're at a bar and you're like, let's have a drink.
Hey, what would you like to drink?
And you'd be like, I want a...
I mean, give me beer.
No, I mean, what?
Whatever you want.
All right, give me a, make a little altar.
Don't ever speak to me again.
What? OK, if we're going to a craft place,
I'm going to get like some craft beer.
How are you going to drink a watered down beer?
What's your go-to?
See, it depends on where I'm at.
If I want something local,
I'm going to give you a juice from Marley Barley.
Well, OK, but we're not specifically where we're going.
We can't just say it's local.
But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but.
Oh, my gosh. Stop.
If I'm going for beer, give me a Modelo of Verona.
Modelo of Verona, OK.
At least you're not saying Bud Light,
because Bud Light's disgusting.
I can't, I can't drink Bud Light.
Bud Light tastes like piss.
It's bad.
I don't know how you can drink Bud Light.
But, all right, so we are finding the topic of the day.
Fast food kerosene.
Yes, we're going to make fast food,
because Evan here has terrible opinions about fast food.
All right.
We've got both guys to see it.
What you putting on a pog in the thing and stuff?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I'm going to surprise you.
I'm going to make this list real quick,
and I just want to see your reaction.
Oh, we'll make separate lists then?
We'll make separate lists.
OK.
I'm going to hide my little thing.
OK. I'm going to predict your list.
Why don't you make your little list, OK?
OK.
Burger King asked here,
because he got Burger King before you filmed the podcast.
What do you think is the best thing known to man?
The best thing ever invented.
I don't understand.
I don't know.
Burger King, you're straight garbage.
Straight garbage.
I don't feel lucky this morning.
I'm lucky.
My dude right here doesn't know how to work an iPad over here.
I do know how to work.
He's the one that brought an iPad to the pod.
He doesn't know how to work.
Yeah, he wasn't having to.
Go ahead.
You're supposed to tell him to use your stuff.
Go ahead.
You know what?
Hold on.
I'm going to put all the stuff that I never had in fiction.
You know, I haven't had a budget before.
All right.
You got to speak.
Speak so the listeners can hear your thoughts.
Come on.
Hold on.
I'm putting a bunch of shit in the F right now.
He is the worst technology I've ever seen.
Huh?
I'm not the worst at technology.
Yeah.
Why literally you're the editor.
I'm sorry, everyone, for not having the best podcast right now.
We've been having technical difficulties, and then it hasn't been the best podcast.
This might be a hard lesson.
I'm not going to lie.
This has been our work.
I thought this one was actually pretty good.
What did we talk about today?
I mean, again, we did spend like almost two hours and two topics of like.
This might be a hard lesson.
I thought it doesn't mean it's.
I mean, I'm going to listen to the podcast after we record it.
So I'm going to know for sure.
But this might be a hard lesson.
I apologize for that.
All right.
Go ahead.
Speak.
All right.
I'll tell you what I got so far.
As in ranking it, I barely have both angles because it's very, very.
We don't think of bojangles.
I don't think so.
So I put a bojangles in the F because I'm going to take it to the airport and stuff.
I put a canes at the D list.
Burger King at the D list.
But the best is five of us.
That's my parent list.
I need to try churches again.
It's been a while.
I never had.
Jack in the box.
I never had.
I never had a bunch of shit.
All right.
Well, I'm going to make my own tools and we're just going to compare the two, I guess, because you're taking forever.
My dude.
Well, I'm sorry.
But the fucking we probably should have done this beforehand.
We absolutely.
Yeah.
This is a bad podcast.
We're not doing too well today.
I apologize.
Yeah, we didn't set up ourself up for success.
So let's just talk over while we do this.
So first of all, Chick Flays S tier.
Chick Flays S tier obviously.
Canes is S tier.
Let's see.
What else we got here?
So Waffle House is S tier as well.
Waffle House is go to.
But see, some of these are actual what I consider fast food oceans and some are not.
I want to consider Waffle House fast food.
Would you like that's an actual sit down restaurant.
To a certain extent, because.
You know, because they do get it up pretty fast.
Yeah, I guess.
So I'll give it that.
I'll give it that.
All right.
Well, this doesn't have S tier has like the best year.
B tier, C tier, D tier never had here in an F tier.
So I mean, I guess we can just make the I've never had a lot of these restaurants.
I've never had Skyline Chili.
I've never had Mo's.
Let me see.
Denny's.
I've never been to Denny's.
Have you been to Denny's?
No.
Yeah.
I've never been.
My mental is going on going to Denny's either.
Why?
Because I've never been to Denny's or something.
It just don't look good.
Oh, I've been to Mo's before.
Mo's.
Why do they have Mo's out?
This was like a long time ago.
Whenever we were going on road trips or shit.
But Mo's was actually really good though.
Where are you going on road trips to?
It was a long time ago.
We used to go to like road trips before.
All right.
This is making really good content.
We got to do this later.
Let's just go off the cuff.
What do we think is the best and worst.
So you know what, we're going to do what we were talking about.
We're going to do what we were talking about.
The best burgers.
So as in burger wise, I'm going to say mine.
As of right now, from about the best, I got five guys in and out.
I'm going to do my best.
Here, just look up there.
Oh shit.
The burger.
So for the burgers, I have.
I mean, we got Water Burger, we got Wendy's, we got McDonald's.
I do have a burger.
Water Burger is pretty good.
In and out is really good.
I've never been in and out.
They're only in California.
Think of five guys but cheaper.
All right.
That's how good they are.
Oh, they're good.
I guess I'm gonna go and in and out good five guys good white castle isn't the
beat you Carlos jr. you over there
checkers we just got one on school thought I thought it was overrated I
mean apparently I gotta get something called the big Buford but as of now from
what I've got last moment I'm gonna need here McDonald's I gotta put in the best
Burger King I'm gonna put in the B Shake Shack I'm putting the best Shake Shack's
good and I guess Jack in the Box I've only had one.
Jack in the Box is good. Yeah that's better than the burgers for me.
Alright which fast food place has the best fries? McDonald's. I don't know.
It depends on McDonald's' data that's the thing. How were your Burger King fries my friend?
Were they up your standard? Were they great? Okay the one? No they were not good.
Burger King sucks. Burger King sucks.
That's okay after this episode like I said I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail.
Hit the one in VR no salt at all. I just tasted straight fry. I am never spending my money on a Burger King anything.
Evan wants to buy me a Burger King sandwich and I'll eat it. I'll make him feel good.
We'll do a live reaction of this. We're going to film this on the pod and we're going to have you taste test a Burger King burger.
Okay. You know what? A blind taste test? But you're going to tell me it's from Burger King?
I'm not going to tell you it's from Burger King. So what are you going to get? From what? From Burger King? What else?
I can't let you know that. Okay just like two burgers one from Burger King and one from some other restaurant.
I'm going to do three burgers. Three burgers. One from Burger King and the other two I'm not going to disclose.
You're not going to say? Alright. No. Okay I'm down for it. I am down for it.
I feel like if you know which one is Burger King you're going to pick against it.
Oh yeah. That's why you can't tell me. That's why it's a blind taste test.
Do I have to try to guess where the burger is from? You don't have to. You're not taking a guess. I'm going to tell you burger number one, two, three.
You can say which burgers you like. One, two, three. Yeah. I'm going to try to guess where it's from though.
Yeah. I mean you got to get to the end of the taste test though. Try it.
Because if I tell you oh burger number two Burger King. Yeah. So you can guess it at the very end though.
But we will do that. We are going to do taste test. Back to fries. Okay. We can both admit Burger King has trash fries right?
Trash fries. Trash-friendly fries. Okay. Thank you. McDonald's overrated fries. What? Overrated. What? You heard me.
Wendy's fries are rather McDonald's. What? I don't want to hear it. I do not want to hear your. What? Calm down. Calm down my friend. Calm down.
Kane's fries. Pretty good. Chick-fil-A fries. Pretty good. Popeyes has pretty good fries. Popeyes has pretty good fries. I need that one. Yeah.
I mean I never had KFC fries. I don't know about that. They are alright. Jack in the Box has good fries. They have the curly fries. They are pretty good.
Fried Guys fries. Not that some fries. That's the best fries. Oh yeah. What else are we missing? In terms of fries? Saunas. Saunas. I'm not going to say best fries. I'm going to say Saunas.
Nah. I'm going to get fries in Saunas. I mean I don't know about Weather Burger fries. I don't eat there too often. I only eat there a couple times. I can't really speak on that too much. What else?
I don't know either. What else? Because if you practically did it, I'd call it the burger ones. Alright. Let's move on to another category. What other category we got? Subs. Let's do subs in one, two. Okay?
Go ahead with your trash ass ranking. I feel like you would riddle me if I put Subway number one. Yes I would. Very much. Very much so. I'll tell you why though.
When the fuck was the last time? Okay. Firehouse subs is a bit expensive. I'm not going to lie. It's good. It's good but it's expensive. It is expensive. You're right. It is expensive. So that's why I'm a really good Firehouse.
Yeah. Jersey Mike's I barely had Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's is good to me. It's good. Jimmy John's ain't bad. Jimmy John's is good. Jimmy John's is pretty much my go to. There's one close to me so that's my go to.
Uglies. Uglies. Like I'm fine with Subway. Subway is my number one list. Subway is the worst Subway restaurant. I'm not saying it's complete trash but it's the lowest category of Subway restaurants.
See it's different when you get a sub with a burger. Not burger. Fucking. Burger. Not a burger. Fucking cookies. That's what I meant. Yeah the cookies are good. The cookies. The cookies. I'm saying over Jimmy John's and Jersey Mike's. I want to put those two over Subway.
I mean I'm going to. I've had Jersey Mike's engine gone for a while so I will have to do a re-evaluation of that. Have you been to Penn Station? No. Probably not. That's a Midwest chain but I've been there. They have really good stuff.
And they make their own fries there. That place is good. But you've never been there so you can't really get. I mean that's pretty much it as far as Subway is so we know. Next episode we're going to actually come prepared this time for this year list. Yes. And we will actually talk about it. Yes. So we're going to do a list and then we're going to talk about it next episode. So Subway is obviously after you.
Okay. No. Hold on. I'm trying to look at all the wings spots they got. I'm not. They only got like two wings spots. Yeah. One of them I've been to the other I haven't. Wings. This place is just called Wings right here. I've never heard of this place. I've never heard of that place either. But Wings is not that bad. It's alright. Yeah. But I mean Coupe did a little better though.
They don't have them in this list. I mean. Okay. What did you go to spot? Like Coupe.
I mean in general. Like if you just had to pick one of the fast food restaurants to go to. It has to be in this list. Like where you going? Like if you're just like midday craving something quick. Craving a nice unhealthy fast food meal. Where are you going to go?
See for me it's between two. Or three. Between Five Guys, Popeyes or Steak and Shake.
Yeah. Steak and Shake is good. Like. And I was sad that they closed down.
They closed down really? For sure yeah. There's one in that mooch. Oh. Bro you want to go to it? I do like it. Like after the pop?
I don't know about the pop. I'm going to go home. Aw. Loser.
Oh. Oh man. So wait you said Steak and Shake. Two of them. Popeyes and what?
Steak and Shake, Popeyes, Popeyes. Popeyes.
I don't really. I kind of consider Five Guys fast food but at the same time though. See I don't consider IHOP fast food at all. It is on this list.
No I don't think I have fast food at all. Yeah it's like an actual sit down restaurant. There's no like quick service. That is legit a sit down restaurant.
Yeah. Waffle House gets their shit out pretty fast. That's why they make the argument. Right.
I don't know man. I don't agree with it. Maybe we can come up next podcast and have a better podcast. We will legit have a better podcast.
We've been kind of struggling today. I apologize. I mean I'm not going to lie to you. I just kind of wing these topics on the way here.
I mean these were fun topics though. I'm not going to lie to you. I feel like this is one of our fun episodes. This was one of our funner episodes but then again though.
Yeah we were way prepared. I mean we came in pretty unprepared. I apologize. I'm kind of a bad episode.
I mean even if we weren't prepared it was still a fun episode. I mean the only thing that we just fucked up on was the cure list. That's kind of it.
Everything else is dumb stuff. You know what we need to do before we officially close this podcast. We need to go and just roast each other.
Hey we can do the best one. Come on. Come on. You know what I'm going to come back next episode with that. Really?
Next episode we're going to have a roast session. We're going to have three chances to roast each other. Three chances to roast each other?
Three or two. Either one. Are we going to make this like a real world thing with all the fish and stuff?
Nah because then I feel like you're going to get me to the point where I'm going to want to fight you. That's how I feel. That's how I teach.
Man. You always want to fight huh? Yeah. Why are you such a violent person? You need to learn peace and love and harmony.
My friend. If a motherfucker comes up to you and punches you in the face on the street are you going to fight him back or are you going to be like why did you do that man?
No I'm going to be like my brother in Christ you need to learn peace and love the Jesus way. And see that is how I'll get your ass beat.
I can help you my friend. Let me help you. Be one with the universe. I will help you come to peace with yourself. And come to peace with the universe.
This is how you get your ass beat. All peace and love. All peace and love. I support peace and love too. But.
Apparently you fucking don't. I do support. Okay motherfucker don't. Go ahead. Go ahead. You just roasted me. Oh. Ain't no peace and love. This game's too fun.
No no no no no no. Hold the fuck up motherfucker. I just gave you a scenario of if a motherfucker came and punched you in your face. If a motherfucker came and punched me in my face.
Don't we fucking fight. I don't care if I win lose or draw. I'm fucking trying to be the best. Because motherfucker punched me in my face.
Alright this thing. Six eight dude. Who's freaking bulked up. You really gonna fight that dude. Yeah. Really. What chance do you stand against that six eight bulked up probably three hundred pound dude.
I'm gonna bite him but I'm gonna get my ass kicked though. You really gonna fight him. If he comes up to me and punches me first. I'm not gonna be like.
What if he comes up to you and shoves you. Okay. You gonna stand up for yourself and fight that dude. Yeah I'm gonna fucking stand up for myself. Don't let no one bully you.
But I'm sorry. I might be a pussy but I'm smart. Okay. I'm not gonna let my ass kicked out. But as a big old fucking dude. I'm gonna take my L. Okay. If the dude's about the same size as me. Maybe. You know. But I'm not gonna fight this dude who's like. Three hundred pounds six eight. Bulled up motherfucker.
Okay. Okay. Well hold on. The chances of that are very slim. Or dude I've seen some big dudes. Come on. I mean you do go to L.T. So like you do. But like. It's very slim. But like. You always gotta stand up for yourself. No matter what.
I'm sorry. Whatever. I'm smart. I'm not gonna. Okay. I'm gonna give you this. Okay. Let's just say another motherfucker just like you. We're gonna. There's a clone of you. Okay. A clone of me. Okay. I can take myself in a fight.
So let's just say the motherfucker was your same exact build. Looked completely different than you. But it was the same exact build. Okay. And he did. He punched you in your face. Are you fighting him? For no reason. Just out of the blue. Just out of the blue. Yes. I swear.
There's only one. I'm literally giving you the benefit of it all. I'm literally putting. I can say something. He's gonna like clown me so hard right now. You know what. I'm gonna be like dude why'd you do that man. Why you gotta disturb the peace like that man. You're disturbing the peace bro. What the heck man.
Hey come on bro. Why you gotta do that man.
You know.
I have no words to say.
I genuinely do not have a word to say. I'm literally getting this motherfucker in the range. I'm literally getting this. So let me just. Okay. You know what. I got another one. Let's just say the motherfucker was like 4 foot 5. Okay.
4 foot 5 midget. 4 foot 5. Pretty bulky. That doesn't end it out. He's bulky. Like how bulky. Like does he have like muscles the size of like your iPad. Yes. I'm not gonna fight that dude then. What. That dude's fucking strong. Bro. The size of your iPad. You know how big your iPad is. Bro. He's the size of your leg. For his arm to be that. He's the size of your.
Hold up. No. 4 foot 5 is like right here. It's not the size of my leg. What you mean. Bro. I'm 5 foot 9. You're like 5 foot. I'm 5 foot 6. Okay. 4 foot 5 is like right here. Yeah. Okay. He's the size of. He can literally reach his head. Hold up. If he's the size of my chest. His arm can't be the size of the iPad.
Is that physically embossed. Well it depends on his reach. I'm not gonna give him a regular size reach. I'm not gonna give him no T-Rex arms like I do. Well I can't even reach my face to punch me then. I probably can. If he's 4 foot 5 he probably can. If he gets close enough he can. It's a regular reach. It's not a long reach like I do. It's like your reach. Like you have an average reach. I got a long reach. Cause look. Yeah. You have long arms then.
So I'm not giving him my long arms. I'm giving him regular arms. Okay. Well if he's 4 foot 5 then he has short arms than I do. So are you fighting him? Oh my god. Do you get a lot of bar fights or something? No I do not get a lot of bar fights. Why are you talking about bar fights all the time? I don't. Why are you talking about violence all the time? Because sometimes peace is fun. We love peace and everything. We love peace. But you gotta sort some shit out through fucking violence. What do you need to sort out through violence? Go ahead. Tell me. I don't know.
But some stuff needs to be sorted out through violence. That's all that needs to be done sometimes. Sometimes peace cannot resolve everything, Layden. What can... What is going to... Okay scenario right. You're in a bar. What's going to result in violence? Like what would break out in a punching like you're saying? Like what would be the cause of that? Okay. One. I don't get into any bar fights. I'm smarter than that. What do you bring up these scenarios of a guy punching people? Punching me? Yeah. A brainless asshole coming up to you.
What's going to cause that? But the difference is though. You gotta look up to what's causing that. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt though. Dude is... No no no. Answer my question first. Are you fighting him?
Dude. Okay. Are you fighting him? Yes or no? I would have no reason to fight him. Why would I fight him? Motherfucker just socked you in your face. If he's four or five he's probably not going to harm me that much.
To where I need to fight him. No bro why you looking at me like that? I'm just speechless. I'm just kidding. If he came to you, socked you in your face, clean shot. You're more likely either going night night or you're going to fight him back.
If he's four or five, like little kid height, he's not going to hurt me that much. He's probably not going to knock me out. You're going to get knocked out by a little kid? No. By a kid sized man? By a midget? Or you're going to get knocked out by a midget?
From what you're saying, if that midget came up, you know what I like little people. Midgets actually kind of a thing. I'm sorry for all my little people out there.
Bro is like ableist racist this whole podcast and he says you know what I like the midgets. I feel bad. You're not maybe seen one. You're little people. I'm sorry but like that's true though.
The definition of a midget is someone who's under 4'11". That's the definition. Oh well then. Y'all still going to be called midgets. I'm sorry.
But yeah, if a midget came up to you, literally punch me in the face.
Because you know what? No no no no no. We're going to say 4'10". We're going to give him a little bit more height. A little bit more of 4'10".
Okay. I have a sister that's like 4'11". So it's about her height. Okay. So I can reach that man. I can reach that man.
So if he comes up to you, he works out. He works out and gets big though. Okay. He punches you in the face. But like why? What's the lead up to this?
I gotta know the full story. I gotta know the background information. The characters, the plot. Are you fighting him or not?
I don't know. I need more information. I need more information. You're not giving me the context here.
Why are we in this fight? We're ending this podcast episode right here until Layla can give you a serious answer of...
You gotta come at me. Why are we fighting? Give me context. Motherfucker. He just wants to punch somebody. That's why.
So he's mad. He goes to the spark. He's mad. He's super mad. He just looks at all the other guys. He picks you. He picks me.
This scrawny little white kid. Well taller than him I guess. I'm going to fight you. And he comes up and punches a little above his head.
Because he's short as hell. He probably can't even reach my face Evan. He's 4'10". No he can't. What are you going to do? Reach up and like...
You're not that tall. Okay. Like I said. 4'10 is like right here maybe. Layla. That's their head right? Yes that's their head. Layla.
What? If what? I'm like a 4'10 dude. Do the little thing again. Yeah like this? Like this. That's your head? Yes that's my head right here.
If I'm like this okay. I can bam bam bam. Right? Or just bam bam. I'm still reaching you. You're not reaching my head. You're just reaching my chest area.
You clearly just did that. I'm still punching you in your gut. You said head. You just said head shot if you meant to go. You can hit it a shot.
You were punching me in my gut. That's not a head shot. Me and you. You're like so done with me at this point. You're damn right I'm so done.
You're kicking. The answer is you're kicking the little midget's ass. I'm going to come back with you with the same scenarios okay.
This 6'8 guy fucked up 300 pound motherfucker comes at you and punches you. You going to fucking fight him? Yeah. You're going to fucking fight him again.
I'm going to get my ass kicked but I have the realization that I'm going to get my ass kicked but I'm not a fat bitch though. So I'm going to try to beat his ass at least.
You're going to try to beat his ass. You're going to fail. You're not going to beat him. Yeah I just admitted. I just admitted.
I'm going to get my ass beat but I'm not a bitch so I'm going to try to fight him. You can still walk away from a fight not because you're a bitch.
That dude is twice your size. This whole argument can be ended if you just be like I'm a pacifist. Just say I'm a pacifist. How is that ended? Because you don't support violence. That's literally what I've been saying this whole episode. Have an argument?
Because you're the whole violent one talking about punching people. I can be violent and I can be non-violent but the difference is- Why are you talking about punching this whole time then? Because I've just seen what you would do in a scenario where a motherfucker comes up to you and be like and you're going to be like ow.
Well that sounded gay right there. I would not say that. First of all if any dude comes up to me and wants to fight I'm going to try to do something besides first instinct fight. I'm going to be like hey dude. Hey what's good? What's so good? You got home or something? Are you ok? You need mental help or something?
My first instinct isn't just going to be to punch the dude. I'm going to be like hold up. What are you doing here? Is your first instinct going to be to punch the dude that comes up to you?
Well let's see. If you throw the first fucking punch of course my first instinct is to punch.
If he's coming up to you, you already see him coming up. He's not going to be surprised or something. So you see him coming up. You can see his eyes are fucking pissed or something. You're going to be like hold up dude. Are you just going to let him punch you first?
No I'm not going to let him.
Ok what are you seeing then?
One? Ok.
What do you do?
It depends on a lot of variables in that. Do I have any friends around? Is it just between me and that dude or is it just...
There is a lot of variables. Let's just say you're in a board room but it's tucked away in the back and there's not really a lot of people there.
And I got a couple friends right? Or no I don't.
No you don't. You're like alone. Like a loser by yourself in the bar. Like in the back you're just chilling and listening to music I guess.
And he comes up to you because you see he's an easy target away from the crowd. So he's coming up to you being like strong.
Ok what are you going to say while he's walking? What are you going to do?
If he comes at me and I see him swinging I'm going to fight back. There is no hey let's talk it out. If he wanted to talk it out he would have. That's how I'm looking at it.
So you can see in his eyes that he's pissed when he's walking up to you. So you're not going to say something like go.
But here's the thing though. It also depends on them too. I'll tell you why. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt of how I did it.
It depends on the mode of the shit. But at the same time it also depends on the people singing though.
Because sometimes whenever you're trying to be like hey man what are you doing? What are you doing? Then that one will still go past swinging depending on who it is.
Well yeah it does depend on what's in their mind at the time. What do they think at the time.
But I'm just saying if he's got the intention of fighting and he wants to fight me I'm going to fight back. That's just how it is.
Okay but first of all when he comes up to you you're going to say hey what are you doing dude? Are you going to be like that?
No.
No? You're not going to try and talk to him and say hey what's your problem man? What are you doing?
You're just going to watch him as he comes and swings at you?
So the full intention is just to purely...
I guess so because that's what you've been saying this whole time.
If he's purely just coming to fight then I'm fighting. There's no hey man if he wants to fight then let's go.
You're not going to say anything to him until he comes at you and swings. You're not going to see him coming up and be like hey man you good?
What's your problem? What's your issue? You're just going to watch him come over to you and walk over to you and swing?
And he's going to try to swing at me and then I'm going to swing back.
You just got to dodge it. You just got to take him and swing.
I'm going to try to dodge it. I'm going to try to dodge it.
Alright.
But I'm going to try to dodge back.
You're going to hit his ass back.
Let's say you land a punch. You're going to keep fighting or you're going to be like hey man you good? Calm down.
I hit him hard so...
Uh...
Depends. Does he get knocked out or does he actually take the punch?
No, it's a big dude so he's not going to get knocked out.
Oh, is it still the 6'8 dude?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah. I mean come on.
Well, he's still scarred man. If he's taking the punch then like...
Okay. Let's say you land the punch and he... you know it doesn't happen obviously.
But you go back like hey, good. Hey dude what's your issue? You good?
Or you just keep punching?
Well, usually whenever someone land a punch on you, you try to get him back.
So he's going to fight me continuously until he gets me.
Are you going to try to get out of the situation or are you just going to fight him?
I'm going to fight smart. I'm not going to fight... I'm not... okay.
I'm not going to go with dumb to blazing, okay?
This is actually a fun little conversation we're having.
I love how we just have this in the fly.
Yeah. Yeah, it's great. We need to have more of these like on the fly podcast topics where we just get into stuff.
It seems more like natural.
Than the...
This is more natural.
But let's just say like yeah, I'm going to fight smart. I'm not going to...
I'm not going to stand in vain with the dude.
Motherfucking 6'8".
Or however many pounds he said.
I'm not going to try to fight...
6'8", 300. That's a big fucking dude.
Yeah, that's a big guy. So like I'm not going to let him...
That's like legit fucking double the size of me because I'm 150.
I'm not fucking fighting the dude who's double the size of me.
I'm like 160.
But I'm not going to let...
I'm going to fight him if he's trying to fight me.
But I'm not going to let him grab me though.
Because that would be a major thing. If he grabs me then I'm done for.
That's absolutely a big thing.
I'm like...
I'm going to hit him from a distance but I'm not going to...
Actually, wait. He's 6'8", but 300 pounds.
That's a big motherfucker.
He's about the size of Twig then.
What do you mean?
Zion's what? 260?
Yeah, but he's not 6'6".
Okay, if he's like 2...
But you add in 2 more inches.
2 inches and he's bigger.
Zion has a big bill.
But he's 260.
But you're practically giving him the height of like...
I'm giving him 2 more inches and 40 more pounds.
But that's still...
It like equals out.
I'm going to go to the BMI.
But I know my shit. I know my shit.
You come out here with no facts.
I don't know my shit.
Okay.
We're going to do BMI.
You've got Zion 6'6", right?
He's like...
Yeah, 6'8".
Yeah.
Hell, 6'8".
We're 6'9".
8 inches, your weight, 300 pounds.
Yeah.
What does it say?
So...
So my normal weight is...
33.3?
What are you doing?
So...
Go ahead and talk to him.
Okay.
Okay, now...
He's not normal weight.
He's BOD.
You realize like...
These people who are like big jacked up dudes,
they have higher BMI's.
That doesn't mean they're necessarily obese.
I mean, if they're just...
According to this...
They're saying they're obese.
I'm not saying that...
I know what the difference is, but I'm not saying...
That person is obese, but I'm saying like...
According to the little thing...
He's...
Like, I could put on 20 pounds of weight,
and I would be considered
overweight for my height.
But that just means
I'm not necessarily fat.
I just have muscle weight.
That's also because there's also work to do on height and weight.
That's why I...
But that's...
I'm just saying, according to this...
According to the imaginary figure that you have given me...
6'8", 300 pounds...
That doesn't necessarily mean he's obese.
Like, obesity fat.
He's just jacked.
Having muscle weight.
Not necessarily the weight in belly fat,
but the freaking muscle weight.
According to this, he is...
Because...
The BMI is 33.0.
So then according to this,
your underweight would be 18.5.
Normal weight would be 18.5 through 24.9.
My BMI is like 22.
Your overweight is
25 through 29.9.
So he barely makes it obese.
So...
That's a big motherfucker, okay?
I mean...
Disregarding what that says...
I mean, even with that...
That's still a big motherfucker.
Yeah.
But do you think I'm just gonna let this slide?
No.
I would dodge a swing
and be like, bro, you good?
And get out of this situation.
Because I'm not fucking sitting in there fighting someone
who's double my size.
Yeah, but that's double your size.
At least I can admit, like, hey, I'm getting my ass beat.
But I'm talking about a dude that's literally
the carbon copy of you.
I've been hitting the facial features for a little bit.
He just comes...
Are you gonna dodge
and fight him back?
You already asked me to ask you.
The same question. Carbon copy of you.
Come up to you and wanna swing.
You're obviously gonna fight him, right?
Yes, I'm gonna fight him.
He's swinging at me first, I'm swinging back.
What do you win against
your carbon copy?
That's like such a hard question to answer.
So, what...
I mean, either way, I'm winning.
Because it's a carbon copy of me.
It's literally the same thing.
It's the same thing. Is it like a complete copy
of me or is it just what I gave you?
Just to change a couple facial features.
What you gave me.
What I gave you?
Like a copy of you.
I'm gonna try to be smart about it.
But that's fighting a good one. You gotta be smart about it.
Because one wrong move...
I throw a hook.
You can dodge to that side.
And just give me like right here.
Yeah, you gotta be smart fighting.
Like you can be the underdog in fights
and still win the fight. You're gonna be smaller
and still win the fight.
Because you know how to fight smartly.
Versus the other person, like big old fucking dude.
That's why...
He doesn't have the smartest fighting skill.
Whenever you were like, am I fighting the 6 foot 8 dude?
Yeah, I'm fighting him, but I'm not getting close to him.
Right.
Like that's...
That's fucking crazy.
Some people do have death wishes.
Some people just fight them.
But overall, I think this was a good ass topic that we talked about.
Maybe we redeemed the pot in the late.
We redeemed this episode.
We came back.
But I think that should end our episode today.
Don't you think?
Yeah, we've been doing this for almost 2 hours.
It's been a long time.
Yeah, we've been doing this for almost 2 hours.
It's been a long time.
We've been doing this for almost 2 hours.
It's time for us to hit the road.
And it's time for me to head to where that should go back.
It's time for Evan to go back to Hamiland.
Hamiland, a place called Pondichulo, whatever you want to call it.
But...
He's not in Hamiland, Pondichulo.
I've already seen Pondichulo.
Don't get off my address like that!
Yeah, he lives out in Pondichulo, no, I'm just kidding.
I'm not saying your address.
Well, why did you say Pondichulo?
What are you going to go to Pondichulo for?
You got a girl on did you look?
No, but yeah that is the end of our podcast episode
I hope you all enjoy our amazing episode
and I hope you want to be in it
Don't forget that Evan's a bitch
Never forget that
I'm the bitch but you don't want to fight your carbon copy
Come on, I'm going to the bathroom
End this episode for me please
While Evan leaves, I'm the only one on here
So I can say whatever I want about Evan at this point
Okay, I'll just end it
Adios