This is All In All Fam.
Starring King Josh and Queen E.
What's good?
Family.
This your boy King Josh.
And I'm Queen E.
And you tuned in to another episode of All In All Fam.
And this episode topic is going to be juicy.
How juicy?
I'm talking about juicy, not like juicy.
Juicy fruit.
I ain't talking about juicy fruit.
So it's going to be a topic where you can sit here and think
of your ideal.
What is your ideal, mate?
We're going to hit on topics like,
what are some of the traits that you look for in your ideal,
mate, your perfect mate?
What do you feel that that person has to bring value
to be that perfect mate?
And the most famous question that they always ask,
do the sex have to be good with the perfect mate?
Let's get into it, people.
So let's get real, y'all.
Ain't one person on this earth, they're not perfect.
We all know that.
But let's just think about it in our head,
like what we would imagine our perfect person would be like.
The perfect person.
Hmm.
A woman to shut the fuck up.
I'm talking about never talk.
She can't talk, period.
I don't think she could do it.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-mm.
Just agree and disagree?
That's it.
That's all a motherfucker can do.
That would be the perfect mate for me.
No talk back.
No attitude.
No need.
I'm talking about just, you know,
just the perfect person.
No talk back, no attitude, no need, no time out.
Just like I can sit here and get a remote and just mute her ass.
Like that would be my perfect mate.
I think I want to do AI.
They building motherfuckers like that, ain't they?
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
I want to see, can I replace my girl with an AI girl?
The same replica.
The same person, but just a robot.
But I'm really worried about this.
It's the, I ain't never had sex with a mechanical machine before.
Are you ready for that type of shit?
I don't know what type of mechanical machine that is.
I don't know.
There might be a decoy.
I don't know if I got to put oil in it or what.
Put some transmission fluid in it or what.
I don't know.
I have no fucking idea.
I don't know where it at.
I'm willing to try.
You go try.
I'm willing to try.
You know?
I'm still thinking about that oil.
The oil price is up, man.
And then what about she run off gas?
God damn, man.
You got to put gas in her and gas in the car.
God damn.
That's premium hotty day.
Somebody finna get unleaded.
Nobody finna fucking get unleaded.
But let's jump into it though, people.
What would be the traits of your perfect mate?
Could that mate be goofy?
Some women love goofy men.
Some men love goofy women.
I don't think I want my perfect mate to be just no
motherfucking, what they call it, no bossy bitch.
I don't want that.
We got to be there.
We got to get there.
I don't want that.
I want that.
What time it is?
Nah, we got another hour.
We'll let it lay right down.
A perfect person should be not even thought of.
It should be like a connection that you have with another
person that that connection can be perfect.
I can say connection can be perfect.
Because I don't think the, because you got to look at it.
Think about if you a regular motherfucker and you try to go
get this perfect woman or perfect man.
They traits are way fucking different from yours.
You ain't got no 50, you ain't got no 401k.
You ain't got $100,000 in the bank.
Damn, you got $146 in the bank.
You know?
But what about if that person has a goofy trait though?
What about if that person has a business mind trait?
What about if that person has a, you know, he has an attraction
where his attraction just hits the light or her attraction hits
the light?
Or what about if it's just that perfect night, that one perfect
one night stand that just hit it off?
You want to see what this person more about?
That will be hard, man.
You a regular person, a regular person run up on you?
Like, I ain't going to lie.
This picture of a regular person like you high maintenance,
a regular person run up on you.
Hey, me lady, what's up, baby?
What's your line?
You tell them, you tell them, Pam.
All of a sudden, he say, my name's Jerome.
I think a nigga named Jerome, you better get the fuck away from.
Jerome's in the house.
Jerome had a gold tooth.
Remember those niggas in the 70s with the gold tooth?
I want to ask mama about the niggas in the 70s about the gold
tooth.
That's going to be the next episode, the 70s, the difference
between the 70s and 80s and 90s.
Yeah.
But at the same time, though, how would you feel, how would you
react to a regular person if that person is not like your
perfect, like he is your perfect person or she is your perfect
person, but that person is regular?
Like traits, do traits matter?
Because I ain't going to laugh.
The old saying is, if you make a smile, you got them.
These days, the trade is, if you got some money, you got them.
A motherfucker ain't trying to, you can make a motherfucker smile
and she still ain't staring your ass.
It's about that dollar, dollar bill, y'all.
Like dollar bill say, I need my money.
My money.
But now, though, like for real, like you had to be goofy.
You had to have like a sensitive side, like all the way sensitive.
You can't be hard 24-7.
Like that's what, that'll make me feel like I'm staying with two,
like if I'm the nigga, I see the nigga.
See how I go put on the mu-mu?
The way she talking to me, I feel like I'm a little hoe around here.
I don't want that type of female.
Like if you got to make me feel like a little hoe around here,
like, hey, bitch, come here.
Like, damn, bitch, bitch, what?
Hold on, that's my job.
No, don't do that.
I don't want to feel like the hoe in the house.
Like, you got some motherfuckers in there that like,
they got, they got that just creep.
They just dug out, they just got that creep.
Like, I ain't gonna lie.
I dated a chick from California one time.
I was scared for my life.
I dated a woman from Chicago.
I think that's the most scary, because she kept saying, hey, Joe.
I'm like, who the fuck Joe is?
Where Joe is?
I'm looking for Joe.
She talking about something.
I'm about to pass her a cigarette.
She say, no, Joe.
You trying to get, I don't smoke, Joe.
I'm like, what the fuck is you talking about?
Don't holler at me.
And who the fuck is Joe?
I don't know.
Like, that's the little word they use up there.
That's the slang.
That's slang.
But I think the most scariest woman ever is a woman from New York.
She would cut this shit at you.
Word.
Like word.
Mother.
Like word to mother.
Son.
B.
Catch me on the block, yo.
Like, I want to, I want to go up there and fuck with y'all.
Because I like y'all fucking slang.
I just don't want to be around the hard ass women that got this slang.
Because I don't want to feel like no little bitch around them.
Because I ain't, I don't want no, hey yo son, come here.
Yo, come here son.
I don't want to hear that.
Like, I don't want no woman to sit here and say, hey yo son, come here son.
Hey yo, yo B.
I don't, if I got to hear that bro, I'm going to keep walking.
Because I feel like you been in streets for like 30 years.
And you a big drug dealer and I'm going to run away from you.
I'm a guy like, you done stabbed a couple niggas.
You robbed a couple niggas.
Like, I'm going to feel that way.
That's why I say like, I'm supposed to come up, like we supposed to come up that way.
For my sister and mate.
But I don't know if I'm going to go.
Because, you know, I love my little sister.
But hey, I ain't get no money.
I got to spend money to go goddamn get nothing.
That's the Y2 model.
But I want to go up there.
But I don't want to hear, hey yo B.
That's your man yo.
Come here B.
Motherfucker, motherfucker be up there goddamn like.
Who they talking to?
Who?
I know they ain't talking to me.
Man, hey Ju, I don't play the, who is the Ju B?
I don't want the Ju.
When they get to that sound right there, I'm running.
Because I feel like, I watch a lot of black in New York.
I want to go get tatted by them motherfuckers.
Me too, but they seem a little expensive.
That might be expensive, but it worth it.
Yeah, to be tatted by a famous person, yeah.
I wouldn't call her famous, I just call him a celebrity.
Yeah.
Because he ain't got his name on a walk of fame yet.
No.
But he doing the bid though, he got a lot of business.
And he kind of having hole troubles every season.
He ain't no kinder, he is.
Like nigga, you can't keep your holes in check.
How can you be a hole yourself if you can't keep your holes in check?
And that's another question.
If your perfect mate is a whore, what do you do about that?
Like this is your soul mate, but this soul mate is a hoe.
What is you going to do about that?
I don't do about that, like that's like what, like the trait that's in you,
like if that's your perfect person, like how do you approach that
and try to turn that shit to like a housewife, a househusband?
Do you think it's possible to turn the hoe into a housewife?
Kevin Gaye said he did.
Anything possible.
Shit, motherfucka married Instagram models nowadays.
Shit, them hoe hold anything.
Shit, you go through an Instagram model phone.
I had one Instagram model I talked to in my life,
and I don't know why the fuck she was talking to me.
Maybe because I did have a Hellify pool party though.
Maybe.
I did though.
I did that pool party.
That was the biggest one, like before the one that y'all seen at Blue Sky.
I believe that's what they go for.
These women, they go for the promoters,
not the employees under the promoters.
They go for the promoters.
I mean, I put on my flyer.
You know, I ain't never thought she was going to come.
But I put on my flyer, she came, and we tried to talk, we hooking up,
and she was like, see, I got, I'm like, damn, this bitch got boogies.
She got everybody in her phone.
God damn, this bitch a hoe.
How much that pussy is?
I looked, she bust out laughing.
But she gave a price, and I'm like, baby, before I even pay this, baby,
I'm going to put down on a whole new car.
That's two cars.
Oh, she want a dome.
She want a dome.
I say, damn, that's like a, I say, that's a fucking, I say,
Instagram is just escorts.
Pretty much.
But then I think about it now, someone promoting their business,
someone got real business on the side now.
Not just OnlyFans, they got real businesses.
Yeah.
Well, hey, that's another question, could you date, could your perfect person
be on OnlyFans, and how could you handle that trait?
No.
She selling pussy for $6, she gots to go with me.
No.
What that nigga say on Facebook.
Man, $6.99?
I know that pussy more word, it's more than that.
You lying to yourself.
$6.99?
We ain't talking about, no, $699, we talking about $6.99.
Now, if you just doing that, and you ain't, well, I'm going to tell you something.
If you sell yourself for lower these days, I think the whole price is going to
went up.
Yeah.
I don't think nobody taking that $40 these days like that.
No.
That's gotta be.
Unless it's just something quick.
Maybe.
Shit'll quit.
Maybe.
Quick.
Then they go아 They gone take that money.
They can take it all and they got you already.
What that retrozzarella goes in, you know, I get that from, you know.
They schleよ.
That's shit.
Whatever drink,��now back to fucked leg.
preço loco, $4.
I mean, it has got to run through the
money.
I said, you're killing me.
30 minutes?
That usually give me an hour.
30 minutes?
And then it said, then I looked and it said, nah, it said 15.
I said, no, so the 30 minutes is 125?
An hour went, I said, oh, 175?
I said, oh, no.
I'm going to tell you, look, if I ever buy a Kouchi in my life, I got $50 and this how you can get it.
You can get a Dove Sack, two tins.
You can get a pack of cigarettes and a Dove Sack and a tin.
You can get some food, Dove Sack and some cigarettes and a little bottle.
Well, I ain't going over there, father.
You got me fucked up.
No, sir, you ain't worth that.
I don't give a shit.
How you get your Kouchi like that?
If I was just like one of them niggas out there in the street that just didn't give a fuck, and then I just say, I'm going to go get some Kouchi, and then I just turn around and say, give me that prize.
My girl at home, I'm going to go home with her.
I can get this shit for free.
Man, where the fuck I come from?
I'm gone.
She don't piss me off.
She don't piss me off to the point where I ain't got the drone.
I'm going to go fuck the shit out of my girl.
I go to her every time.
Every time she tell me the same price, I get mad and go get drunk.
That's it.
I just need you for motivation.
Motherfucker fine.
Now, you got to start paying for my time.
Bitch, you just giving me motivation telling me a price.
That's it.
Every time I see it's a different price.
It's a different price.
That gives me the more advantage to go home and fuck some shit up.
Yeah, fuck some shit up.
Why y'all think niggas like that for real?
Niggas to niggas, scribbles are the perfect fucking trick to them.
They can dance.
They got ass.
They can do it all.
They just freaky.
Some not now.
Some just regular college girls getting that money trying to make it through school.
That's it.
Now, the other ones, yeah, you can sit there and do it all.
Them the ones that you see outside of the club that's driving them fancy cars.
No, she ain't driving no fancy fucking car.
She's driving a fucking Honda.
It look like it's been goddamn bent in twice.
Some of them are.
Motherfuckers, you get up in there, she got McDonald's, Bird King, Wendy's paper, every
goddamn way.
Do you eat at home ever?
That's the worst trait.
That's for real.
That is a bad trait.
That is like a turn off.
You going to throw your food paper on the fucking floor.
Don't do that.
I don't understand.
You got a bunch of receipts and a bunch of paper and work papers and shit everywhere.
I can help you get that shit up.
But nigga, you got all this shit in the car?
Okay.
Who finna get in there?
Now, if I'm stuck and stranded, it depends.
And from outside of Jackson, come take me home.
But if I'm in Jackson, bitch, I'm jumping out walking.
I'm jumping out walking, man.
I ain't finna, hell nah.
Like that is a part of a trait, a clean woman.
A woman that can cook clean.
I don't give a crap.
Look, disappoint.
Me, I never judge a woman, period.
I don't give a fuck how you make your money.
I ain't going to lie though.
I got a thing about it.
I don't think I can ever be in a relationship with a girl that said coochie though.
Like if you said coochie for a living, that's the hardest thing for me.
Because I had to realize, like, now if you was your past life before you made me yell,
I don't give a fuck about that, nigga.
I don't give a fuck about, I think I don't give a fuck if you was a prostitute back in your day, like Wayne said.
And you hit every man that you ever knew, bitch.
I don't know.
I don't.
Like, I don't give a fuck.
Your past is your past.
But if you in the present and the future and you doing this shit still, like I can't, nah.
Nah, dawg.
Get with it.
One of my homeboys might call you.
I can't stop that money.
You ain't going to let me stop the money.
You going to take the money regardless.
When my homeboy calls you, you got to get it.
And I fuck shit out here, bitch.
Got that bitch over there selling pussy now.
For one, that's the shit that turned me out.
Like that shit that going to make me mad right there.
That shit that going to grind my gears.
To find out your girl is still selling ass and still come home and lay down.
Nah, when a nigga sitting here telling me, I just went out here, a nigga just, man, that nigga just say he fuck the shit out your girl.
He did, but he paid for it.
I'm going to put your business out like a motherfucker.
You put mine out?
To my side, I gave her $40.
You didn't give her no $40.
You gave her one $40.
Nigga, we got a light bill, dude.
Who the fuck you think?
Thank you for paying the light bill, sir.
That's all I'm going to say.
But I just, I can't really do it because then, nah, me and my heart.
I don't know who he fucking besides her.
I can't even, nah, I just can't even prostitute a bitch out.
Like I can't, I can't put a girl out.
Like I got too much love to see somebody out there doing some shit like that.
Now, if you're on OnlyFans, I don't go fuck.
I seen your girl, Nikki.
You can see it all you want to.
You ain't touching.
You paying for it.
You paying for it anyway, and you ain't touching it.
Yeah, yeah.
You get it.
But like a hotel room, motherfucker knocking on the door, that's a no, pleb.
No, no.
I got to see you go up there too because I got to wait downstairs in the car.
That going to piss me off even more.
This nigga for fucking my bitch.
I'm going to run the whole car into the building, cause a big ass discretion.
Everybody going to come outside.
The fuck wrong with that?
I hit the gas.
I was mad.
Hit the gas, thought it was a break.
Can't stop, car running hot.
That's all I was saying.
I couldn't stop my car running hot.
People don't understand.
I go with the wind.
You go with the flow?
No, I don't go with the flow.
Sometimes the flow be fucked up.
I go with the instance.
Say like nature, how a body reacts to the sun.
If a person started just grabbing their skin and shit, nah, you the devil.
If you can feel free in nature, walk outside in nature, you damn nigga in nature.
Yeah, that's different.
If you can walk outside barefooted, with your feet in that grass and that mud and let mother nature touch your feet, I can fuck with you.
If you can't stick your feet in that goddamn grass, tell my son, no, it's bugs in there.
Go bug your shit and pack your shit.
I can't do like that.
I can't do the girly girl.
I don't want to like girly girl.
Hey, be a nigga too sometimes.
Like let go shoot balls.
Let me play for your love.
You know what I'm saying?
Don't put these nuts on your forehead.
Some shit like that, let me dunk on you and put my nuts on your forehead.
Let's play football.
Let me be your quarterback and let you hike it 24-7.
You just stay down there.
You ain't got to come up.
You just want to see it.
I just want to see it.
You know, I want you to, you can't have fun outside and you think the club is just more funner than what you can, what you think you, like the club can't have fun.
It don't bring traits.
It bring holes and niggas.
See, that's the part, see that's the deep, deep part people don't understand.
That's where people get shit and they judge us and they put us like niggas and holes in the club.
Because we judging each other too much.
Look at that hole right there.
Look at that nigga right there.
Broke head nigga.
Broke head hoe.
Shit like that.
We judging each other.
But at the same time, y'all find love in the club like it ain't shit and be together for years and I wonder how the fuck I can't sit here and meet a fucking girl regular on the fucking street and be with her more than fucking five years.
It's hard, but these niggas been together 12 years and they done met in the club.
Because she done threw that ass on them.
On the reason she with him because she found out he was a dope boy.
But she done fucked a couple of your partners so your partners ain't gonna say nothing.
That be the fucked up thing in the club.
Like, you know you done smashed this person girl or you know you done smashed this girl dude.
You just not gonna say nothing.
And they kissing in the club in the corner.
In the back of your head like.
That's a perfect trait now.
Y'all kissing in the club.
Broke in the club.
Why nook if you book on.
I'm feeling a punch in your face.
This ain't no Luther Vandross.
I can see they started playing a little slow jam or something.
Like these days you gotta have value in a perfect person. Like the perfect person.
It is a perfect person for everybody now.
You ain't just gotta be perfect all the way.
You can be perfect and just making a perfect laugh.
Perfect giving the perfect time and listening.
See that's all a woman want.
The perfect listener.
If you can listen to her go on for 12 hours and be in the store with her for 14 hours.
She gonna love you.
Me? Who finna who?
I'm gonna leave your ass there.
I'm Mr. Toxic when it comes to that shit.
Like you finna not. I'm not finna go to no store with you.
I'm not. Cause my plan is. I'm in and out.
Your plan is 2, 3 hours.
I'm like god damn.
I know we done walked around Walmart like 30 times.
I seen the same aisle 3 times.
Why the fuck we keep ass about a cereal?
Bitch do you want cereal or not?
I'm contemplating.
Been standing on the tricks aisle for 30 minutes looking at the strawberry shortcake.
Cause we trying to figure out do we really want this or do we just want it cause we see it.
See that's the different.
If you value your man let him go grocery shopping.
If that's the perfect man let him go grocery shopping.
He gonna be home in 45 minutes.
That nigga don't run. You don't think that nigga ran around and stole the way he done got there.
He done grabbed everything on the list.
One thing about us men when we go grocery shopping we go fucking grocery shopping.
Y'all men don't get everything in the same route.
What?
Y'all don't.
We get what we get.
Nah cause we ain't finna get the bullshit that y'all finna get.
See y'all want to get shit that ain't.
You want to get snack cakes, crackers, cookies.
Fuck that.
If we send y'all to the store with the list of things that we need from the store.
Value your woman.
Y'all ain't gonna bring back the exact thing.
If you value your relationship one week the woman go shopping and the next week let the man go shopping.
If you value your perfect woman or your perfect man see who gonna see him come out with the right shit and just not snacks.
Yeah a nigga might come out with, you might see a nigga grab some pizzas, some high pockets, some cereals.
Cause that's all a nigga gonna eat cause he ain't gonna want to cook a full meal for himself.
Nigga if you go to, bruh, if you send a woman to Walmart there's no $200 worth of stamps on her snack.
Fuck that.
Fuck them kids.
I'm tired of them fucking up with my fucking fruit snacks.
Just say I'm tired of fruit snacks paper's all on the fucking ground.
I'm just getting like Uncle Elroy.
I'm sick and tired of this barbecue shit.
I'm sick and tired of these fruit snacks.
I'm sick and tired of these goddamn little go yogurts.
Get some fucking food.
Get some, if you want to get bread.
Instead of getting baked bread, the hard bread that turn into cookies, get a bunch of doughnuts.
Get a bunch of Krispy Kremes.
I swear to God.
Anybody got Krispy Kreme at your house I will come knock on your door right fucking now.
Do you hear me?
I will bang on that bitch and give you a roach kick.
If y'all don't know who Roach is that's next Friday.
You know how he kicked that miskin dope?
Oh Lord.
Hey what the fuck wrong with you my friend?
I got a red dot on my forehead my friend.
This shit look suspicious.
Suspicious.
Shut up man.
But I want some real shit.
Like could you value your woman watching football sports, like watching sports with you.
Or would that be the perfect woman for you?
She can shut the fuck up and watch the game and you ain't hearing nothing.
Yeah.
That's the perfect woman.
But what comes on that though?
A motherfucker that don't know nothing about the game.
So you gotta teach them.
And you done talked all the way through the fucking first quarter.
So you thought she done got it.
And she get the running back get the ball.
She say go quarterback go quarterback.
You be like oh this bitch done fucked up my night.
You just go.
You just gone.
Especially when the Cowboys lose.
Anybody everybody hate the Cowboys when they lose.
Nah I take it back everybody happy when the Cowboys win when they lose.
Everybody be happy when the Cowboys win.
Guess what you ain't gotta hear that shit Monday morning.
No.
But guess what.
Let them win.
You be wanting to call the fuck in.
Hey hello.
Hey Johnny I ain't coming to work today.
Why?
You know who won the goddamn game last night.
I ain't trying to hear Ed mouth.
You know I'm on the last strike dude.
You know I've been late three times this weekend.
Then if I sit here and come to work and snap out my ass is fired.
So I see you Tuesday morning.
And I ain't.
I see you Tuesday morning.
So when you see his ass Tuesday morning.
Boy you see that goddamn football guy.
You be like God this man still on this shit.
You done snapped on Ed ass.
I don't give a fuck about them goddamn Cowgirls.
That's the only thing you hear down here in the like different in the south.
Like the most country's accents is the most funniest accent.
We have all different type of country accents.
People don't understand this shit.
Like ours is just like the regular talking like accents.
You got some goddamn boy you got some fast talking.
You got some fast talking.
You got some of the deep deep south.
And you got the one.
The country south.
You got the one that I ain't gotta try to tell you.
Now I'm bored. I'm talking about we got some and we ain't talking about no motherfucker.
You race ain't involved.
They got different colors.
I'm telling you.
I ain't never heard a black man talk like a real nigga in my life.
But that nigga came out.
Boy what you doing boy?
I said nigga.
Ain't you me nigga?
He look.
I said boy you better get over here from around here.
I said this nigga think he clean evil with.
He been watching too many cowboy movies.
Let me get the fuck away from him.
Before he pull out his double bare shotgun.
With a little pistol on the side.
Go bang bang.
Hell nah.
But I ain't gonna lie.
Like M.E.C.P. you will never find.
You will find the perfect.
But you had to go.
You got to do some looking through some shit down here boy.
You got to move bitch.
You got to knock some people out the way.
Like I don't think this one need.
You got like different.
Like the perfect person.
The perfect person got a wife girlfriend baby mama.
Two hoes on the side.
And a trap girl.
That's not your perfect person.
Nah.
But down here.
I believe that everybody's perfect person.
Cause one thing about it like down here too fucking small.
Everybody know each other.
Exactly.
Like a built in circle.
And it's like I don't understand the women down here.
That find it.
Like they rather sleep with married men.
Or men that's in a relationship.
How long that play.
Cause that's everywhere.
That's everywhere in that place.
I ain't gonna lie.
Cause our fans will tell you shit.
One of our fans probably got a married man.
You never know.
Probably don't talk.
Don't run them off.
Nah.
But I got your back.
You good.
I got your back.
Over there.
You hear me.
Keep doing what you do.
I don't get it.
It ain't.
Look.
What you say.
It ain't yours.
It's her problem.
You just getting the money.
Keep getting the money.
Like uncle say.
Keep getting that money.
I'm trying to do.
But nah.
Like I say.
We got some.
It's crazy down here.
Cause your partner.
Your wife.
Your rooll.
Your partner never ever commit rate.
Like Korean woman.
trailer I've seen.
Kill clip.
Okay.
your wife gonna get it.
Hornett.
Yeah but you don't need to do
He will probably did you were
your mother winged.
Like you said.
you.
You're помог hahaha.
He said.
Ah.
He said salt.
And I went.
Nicole
I was searching so hard to the point where I thought, I say I'm in a town where I don't
even know shit about. I'm down in Tyler town, Mississippi. Nigga, that's a small little
town. I remember this story like it was yesterday. She thought she had the perfect man. Wrong,
boo boo. Wrong. Hell nah. You got me f'ed all the way the fuck up. I think I'm from
the state down here in this little boot ass state, in this little boot ass town. This
town is big as a tape. Oh wow. So, and then I got, I did it so, I got everybody to hook
up that day. She brought all her friends, came down here and called. They picked all
of them and they called. We jumping in three calls. Do you hear me? They said, Josh, you
pulled a motherfucking, I said, keep your mouth shut. I'm that nigga. And he kept walking.
He kept walking. I'm 18 years old. I don't know. She 30 something. Like, you, like, you
thought you had the perfect man. I'm the perfect man to some, but I'm not the perfect man to
the ones that butter me up. Don't butter me up. Don't do that shit. Because then I don't
feel like you trying to suck me into shit sooner or later. I hate the butter me up type.
Like, don't do this shit. Don't rub my feet. Don't touch my toes. Don't even give me a,
if I don't ask for that shit, don't do it. Like, now cooking is different, but. If you
just out the blue start cooking a full course meal. Nah, when you start giving me shit,
that's when I start taking advantage of. Nah, I'm bagging the fuck away from you because
I know what the fuck you're going to do. So just know you got this one night with me.
One night and one night on. I'm going to make it worth your while. I'm going to give you
the night of your life, but you ain't going to never see me again. And you always going
to be searching for that perfect guy. And you going to be like, I had the perfect guy.
I just don't know where he went. And if I ever see him again, I probably kill him. Because
the way he got the way he dropped the dick in me and left, I thought he was going to
marry me. Oh yeah, I was deep in it. I was, man, we got drunk. We pulled over to the oldest
sister house first. Her and my partner, Big A. Oh God, her and my partner, Big A. That
was Big A with Finnegan. Boom, that's a drop off point for him. So we over there drinking
first. Boom, boom, bam. So we, by nine o'clock here, we holla at it. We holla at it to the
other sister house. Okay, Jesse, my partner Jesse, we dropped Jesse out. I said, okay,
okay, best of luck. She just don't know. Perfect one baby. I'm the perfect one baby. I say
I'm rare. When I say I'm rare, I'm a rare breed. Like, you won't never find a person.
Like, people won't, it's hard to find a person like me because when I love, I love. I'm goofy,
I'm goofy. I'm gonna make you happy 24-7. Regardless, ain't no dull day with me, period.
No dull day. Do you hear me, nephew? But now though, like, ain't no dull day with me, for
sure. So the crazy part is, the crazy part about this situation was I'm sitting there,
I get out of the car. I go take a, she was like, you go on there and take a shower. I'm
like, all right, appreciate it. She take a shower, she fixing up some hamburgers, she
have a bag of fries, all right, cool. Why is she cooking? She take out my shoes and my
slides and start rubbing my feet. I said, oh, no, that bitch trying to hit me with that
okie dokie nokie pokie. I said, I'm fixing up a hokey pokey and gosky gosky. That was
my cue, like that morning I hit her with the flip. Like, damn, I gotta, damn, I gotta get
back to mom. There's no mom. Oh, don't worry, I'm a, mom, my mom ain't work then. That was
what she was walking still. My man worked then, I hit her with the flip quick. Man,
when I tell you, not a lot, that motherfucker blew my phone up. Say, you the perfect guy,
I just don't know why he don't want to pick up the phone. For one, you got three kids,
you got a big ass house, but I'm not finna stay down here with you. You know how far
that is from Jackson? You know how far that is from my weed man house? You know how far
that is from my mama? No, baby, no, I can't do you like that. So, I, what, like, I say
about five years later, I ran into her again, because I'm down there fucking McCone, man,
fucking off, but I didn't know that was her cousin. Well, that motherfucker go through
that door, that motherfucker say, devil, that Haitian man didn't go. I said, oh, Lord. Oh,
my God. Man, I told my brother, I like hit her, I like tell him, tell him I'm finna go
to the store and give her the sticker off. I pulled it off and drove all the way back
to Jackson. Like, for real. That's why I say, that's the last, that was the last topic,
because we wanted to tell you, we wanted to show you all, like, the perfect guy can be
also the perfect asshole. And a perfect woman can also be the perfect sneaky asshole. Okay.
That's all our time, people. This is All In. All family. This is King Josh. I'm Queen E.
We signing out. Peace, love, and prosperity.
And yes, this episode was brought to you by Start With Fiber. Get you a breakfast treat
in the morning and get full of energy.