What's good? What's good? I'm King Josh. I'm Queen E. And welcome back to All in All Family.
You know, but you know, welcome to the best subject of it all. I had to put a pause in
y'all because it's finna get real. Welcome to the whole phase. Yeah, you know what I'm
talking about. Everybody had the whole phase in life. Man or woman done had that motherfucking
phase. And we gonna give y'all some real life shit, bro, tonight. For the next 45 minutes,
you rocking with us. So, like I tell you, go roll your one up, baby. Go sit and pull
your little glass up before you get, you know, get tucked in to your bed. You know what I'm
saying? You on the couch chilling. Get comfortable, you know. Because I'm feeling, it's finna be
some fun, some laughter. You know, the truth. You know, it's the truth of the whole phase.
You know, it's something to end your night with. Let's get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ain't
nobody finna tell me you ain't had no motherfucking whole phase at home. Whole phase is over one
night stand, though. And I know we all had some of them. Oh, yeah. So, don't sit here
like you didn't. You were. Ain't nobody innocent. Hey, I ain't gonna lie, though. Some of them
one night stands probably been the best one night stands some of y'all have had in your
whole fucking life. Do you understand me? Like, hey, I ain't, I'm finna light one up.
It's finna get real. Because a one night stand is something that you, it's like a bucket.
It's like some of your bucket list if you never experienced a one night stand. A one
night stand is when you go out and meet a total stranger, bro. You don't meet that stranger
that day. You don't met, y'all go out. The vibe going right. Y'all drunk. Y'all living
it up. All of a sudden them lips touch each other. She, she goddamn looking him in his
eyes and he looking on her eyes. Somebody call the dogs, get him some water, cool him
up. That little pink thing finna come out. I ain't bullshitting. And with the female,
oh man, you can't tell her nothing. And her, in a female mind, it's already made up. And
she met you that day and your vibe been connecting all fucking night. Oh, you getting some ass.
And she gonna tell you, I'm not looking for no attachments. When you hear a grown woman
say no strings attached. One night, the best fucking sex you ever had in your life is gonna
be in that one fucking night. Now it don't always be the best. Some people have the worst
one night stand. That's for the people that was out there doing it with Spike. Cause I
ain't gonna laugh. All my one night stand been fun. I got. So you ain't never had like
a bad one night stand? No, I done woke up to a bad one night stand like, who the fuck
is you? There ain't no bad one. This is a bad wake up call. No, I laid down with Janet
motherfucking Jackson. I woke up to, who the fuck is Latoya Jackson? That's what I, hold
on. Who is Latoya compared to Janet? Miss nasty if you hear her. There's one of them
drunk one night stands. A one night stand, I always got to end up with fun. A one night
stand, put like this. If you gonna have a one night stand and you plan and you planning
that one night stand, it's not gonna fall through like you want it to. Just let it go
with the flow and see where it goes. That's what I used to do. I was so bad at one night
stands. It's just, I felt like I was a nigga at that point. It was always like, so what
you about to do? Nigga. When you hear that, oh man, your ass is out that door. Cause once
it's over, it's over. Ain't no hanging out. Ain't no chilling, trying to watch a movie,
trying to, nah, I ain't even bring you over here for that. That ain't no one night stand.
A one night stand is. You get your shit and go the next day. You go the next day. Hell
no. A one night stand is when you get drunk. Y'all, I'm talking about y'all ain't getting
this type of drunk, drunk. Y'all ain't getting drunk to the point where both of y'all like,
you getting drunk to the point where you know it's gonna be some sloppy nasty six in the,
in the end. You finna try to see what's the freak side like. Yeah. You finna see. You
finna see. Both of y'all finna see. You gonna be like, girl, I never had a nigga to lick
my ass like him. He stuck his tongue in my booty. Oh girl, I just found the best eater
I know. Cause bro, I done sit here and see it. Hey man, I ain't gonna lie. My first one
night stand people was a BBW. My first BBW ever in my fucking life. Do you hear me? I
was 16 years old. She was a BBW that had booty. She had a minute, she had that much titties,
but she had booty. I call it a little pudge. You know, little coat 45. You know, look good.
Man, I ain't gonna lie. That was kind of tying me on to big girls right there. That was,
I was 16 years old, like damn, what's all this white stuff here? She was like, oh baby,
I'm creaming. I was like, oh my God, this is the one night. I ain't even supposed to
be in the club, y'all. I'm underage. If I tell this girl that I was, she probably gonna
hear it now. I was under, you fucked a minor, but I fucked you like a grown man. Do you
hear me? And she was just sitting, bro. She was like, you gonna call me? I was like, I
don't even stay down here. And knowing I stayed on the other side of town.
Some of you one night stands don't even be just a one night stand for some people.
You meet your husband, you meet your wife like this. Some people do, you meet a connection
up. The vibe, that's when you know the vibe was the energy, the vibrations was, it was
heaven sent. Y'all didn't sit here and fuck that night. Nigga, you made passionate love
to the point where you sweating. She looking at you and that shit. She just wiping up forehead,
wiping her face. I'm like, ooh, you dripping. But she ain't saying shit. You up here, Tama,
I'm like, ooh, God, thank you for this bullshit. Ooh, yeah. What? I'm trying to tell you. A
one night stand can bring you joy and happiness and it can bring you sadness and pain for
many, many years. But y'all got to be careful with these one night stands because you never,
like nowadays, you don't know what these motherfuckers got. It ain't about what they got. It's about.
No, it is about what they got because some of these folks, they do one night stands without
protection. I'm about to tell you something. If you do a one night stand without protection,
you asking for it. You don't give a damn. You don't know this person. You just met this
person 12 minutes in the club. Ain't no if, and, buts, and buts. You go to the doctor
the next day and say, you finna go get checked out. Boom. Now you looking crazy. I done had
a one night stand to stalk the shit out my house for 12 days. Deadass for real. She stalked
the shit out my house. I had to tell this girl, hey, I moved to Haiti. She was like,
for real? I didn't go to school for two weeks. You know, when you turn one of them little
nerds out, oh man, it's old. You know the ones that's nerdy, the ones that, oh, I did
it again. Hey, bro. Britney Spears. Yeah. Hey, trust me, them right there cool. They
cool, man. When you turn the Britney Spears into a Christina Aguilera, you got a problem.
You got a problem. Dead for real. You should never did that girl like that. See, when you
in a one night stand, you ain't supposed to put your all in in the beginning. This is
a one night stand. This is a one night stand. I'm going all in. I ain't never getting this
pussy again. No, that's the reason why you had a stalker. I ain't never getting that
pussy again. That's the reason why you had a stalker. That's why these females go crazy
after a one night stand. When that dude put his all in into that one night stand and you
get that phone call the next day, what we doing tonight? Time out. Now, we both had
a technical agreement. Then you should know, you should know like, hey, we don't talk about
this. You just want me to break your virginity. Cool. Never been spoke of, never been said.
We don't, we ain't finna date. Cool, Josh. Okay, Josh. Come over to my house. Nerd. Take
off her clothes. I'm like, damn. Girl, where you been hiding all that from? Dead ass for
a duck type of girl. Man, hold on, hold on, cause I got a funny ass story.
Yeah, I do my little dance right here. Bruh, my first day in high school, ninth grade year.
People ain't seen me since middle school because I had moved away. I came back. I'm a whole
different person. Pimples gone. Take care of myself. Got them waves. Got that good Indian
waves falling. Oh man, go up in the classroom, my science class, nigga. My pre-adjure class.
These girls see me and haul ass to the bathroom. So I asked my homegirl, Dominique, like, hey,
what's the fuck wrong with her? I ain't even gonna put her name out. I said, what the fuck
wrong with her? So she go to the bathroom and check on her or whatever. She come back
and tell me, that girl gotta go home and change drawers, Josh. That girl wet. I said, so she
ain't never got wet like that before. So that's how the one night stand happened, y'all.
Now I ain't gonna lie. I had a one night stand with a Miss. Hey, I poppy. Poppy Chula. Hey,
I ain't gonna lie. They were Miss. Shout out, for one. I ain't even say this at the beginning
of the show. But shout out to San Jose for the people that's in San Jose that's tuning
in to the show. We thank y'all. Keep listening. Keep getting your people tuning in. We thank
y'all. Jackson, Mississippi, shout out to our city. Keep tell your friends. Keep adding
us. We love y'all. San Francisco, you too. Shit. Everybody in New York that's listening
to the show. We really thank y'all. We really thank y'all. And to the ones that ain't got
y'all, where y'all from, that's listening, we thank y'all too. But man, shout out to
the motherfucking Miss. I don't know. Now look, I said Miss. Let me tell you, Miss.
Have you ever talked to a Miss. Oh man, Queen. I did, but it was just a conversation. Man,
I'm gonna tell you something. Them Miss got some silky ass coochie hair. They got some
silky hair down there. I said, bitch, I can comb it and braid it. I really can put it
for sideburns. That's when Nicki Minaj said, put your pussy on her sideburns. That's when
I was telling Wayne like, now I think Wayne said it. Didn't he say it? Put your pussy
on my sideburns. Well anyway, I was talking shit to the Miss the whole time, bruh. I told
her to put her pussy on my sideburns. He was just saying some shit. Dead ass for real.
He was just saying some shit. Just saying some shit out the blue. And she was like,
I thought she ain't talk English. She talked to Ronnie and said, Wayne, I'm like, girl,
gone. You talk English? Mucho dinero. I don't have it. See, that's how majority of them
one night stands. The man start fucking with the girl head. And she really tempting. That's
real easy temptation for some women. Because some of these women, they like niggas to just
talk shit with them. I'm about to tell you something. You right. You right. Every woman
love it. But it's a turn on for a woman that can sit here and feel that talking shit. It's
a different way she feel it. That talking shit might turn her on. If you talk more shit
than a woman and she a shit talker, oh, you done met your match. She finna fuck this shit
at you. Real talk. This Mexican girl said, I will give you some papi and fuck your world
up. I said, stop playing. I was like, I don't want no disease. You cook tacos good? You
better start listening to these women when they say, you hit this, you gonna keep asking
for more. So I'm not going to trade lightly. Man, for one, I'm about to tell you something.
I'm blessed. I'm blessed. I thank God for that. If I was a little dick person out here,
I'd be one mad motherfucker. Do you hear me? Some motherfuckers ain't mad though. Yeah,
because they got money behind it. Not all of them got money. You got a woman that you
found the woman that truly loves you for your size. Because to some women, and I'm speaking
for some women, it doesn't matter about the size, it's the motion and the ocean. And for
other women? For other women, you gots to come with it. Shit, I ain't hearing that shit.
If you know. Because if you going to talk shit to me, you better be able to back it
up. And if you came back where I want you to, you don't need to have no more conversations
with me. That's Shots 5. It's your ass. Because you talking all this bullshit about what you
going to do and you going to do this and you going to do that. But when it come down to
what you folding. And I know a few people that didn't fold it. We just going to keep
quiet on that. Because I'm going to tell you something. I am that breed. I like my little
two positions. I'm third in that. I can't do all that fucking moving. I got bad problems.
You ain't got to get up in the morning too. I got to stroke you at. I'm a stroker. I don't
like to be the fat. I like to hear that noise. What that boy Orlando Brown say. Shout out
to Orlando Brown, man. I don't think you crazy. You know the truth. But at the same time,
bro. If niggas got to put you in 12 different positions to get you that ultimate nut that
you got to get. Leave him the fuck alone. Because you going to run up to that nigga
that going to have you in one position and have you. You going to run up to your girl.
Girl, I had to wash my walls last night. What happened? I ain't never squirted in my life.
This nigga done made me. Like that ass for real. You got to know, bro. Like that whole
phase. You better live it and you better have fun with it. Because you going to get tired
of it. Everybody with couples. You can get tired of seeing them couples and you started
doing your whole sheet. You got to think about some of this later. When you're on your whole
sheet, you're going to fuck around and get caught up at some point. You can't be calling
piece of man Joe while you got taco man Maurice in the back room and you texting Papa John's
nephew. Papa John takes in who? Papa John takes in Wendy. And Wendy takes in the
Wendy takes in Tony. And Tony from Chick-fil-A takes in piece of John. So it's a whole circle
that going to go on and they going to get caught up. That's what people don't understand.
Bro, I don't give a fuck what you say. Your whole phase, my whole phase lasted me until
I was 31 years old. That's when I just got tired of everything. Everything went following
my way. My mama passed. I just got a divorce. I just said, you know, shit, I was fucking
up through my marriage period, but it wasn't my fault. One thing about a man, when he cheat,
you a man going to have a woman say, nah, y'all just cheat for no damn reason. No.
Everybody got a reason why they going to go talk to this person. Maybe this bitch don't
ask me at the house. You got some man that's like that. But when you ain't feeling, or
you working so much to the point where your man take care of the house, working and the
house, when he come home, he wants a man. When you hit that shower, you play with the
baby, you hear, ho, ho, ho, ho. I know this. I got to beat my dick again tonight. You turning
over there just looking at her ass just mad. You can't even, you down the dick about to
be on fire because you started thinking about killing her ass. It ain't exciting you. You
want to see her, you know, shit, a man, a lack of pleasure in life for a man. Bro, he
would go out there quick if he ain't got the mentality, if he ain't got that head strong,
if he want built around real men. My daddy, he was a real man. I ain't going to lie, he
was, but he did his whole shit, but I didn't learn nothing from him. I just learned not
to do the shit he do. I learned from my uncle. My uncle was faithful. My uncle didn't give
a fuck about these hoes. I seen my uncle cuss a motherfucking female out for trying to talk
to him, and his wife went nowhere in sight, and she was pretty as hell. I was like, what
the fuck you doing? He looked at me and said, boy, fuck you. I ain't trying to have problems
in my house, and that's when I said, I want to learn from this man. And he taught me some
shit, and he was like, Josh, you not ready to settle down. You ain't going to be ready
to settle down until you about 30. I see it in. I'm like, man, how the fuck you going
to tell me that? Your dick happen. You see her ass been over, you going to go right over
there and stick it in. I say, you know what? Praise you. Because he was telling the truth.
If you had a fat ass back then, and I turn around and I turn around, and that motherfucker
looking at me, and I'm looking at it, oh, we finna have a conversation. That was my
one night stands, because one thing about it, one thing about me, I was still taking
care of my mama, too. So, oh, you think you finna spend the night here? Oh, hell nah.
You think I'm finna spend the night at your house? Nah, baby, I got to get back to my
mama. That was my favorite. I used this shit so hard, because it was the truth. My mama
in the wheelchair, baby, I got to get back to my mama. And I don't think a motherfucker
would do respect it. But see, I realized this. Me, I got a sexual energy that keeps, that
touches your heart. It gives you emotions. So it's hard to let go when it's time to
let go. Then when you don't want to let go, and I say, fuck it, I ain't going to let
you go. We just stuck. You do you, I'm going to do me. We ain't going nowhere. We stuck.
The first time we learned, second time we in our own shit. You come over to my house,
I come over to your house. Catch a bitch at my house, kill her. You catch a bitch, I catch
a bitch in your house, I'm going to kill her. This is real shit. But I'm not going to sit
here and actually do it. That's just a threat. I'm going to send the threat out, period.
Any nigga know, I'm going to threaten the motherfucker from the get go, let her know
I ain't playing and shoot the gun in the air. Any cottage, I ain't, if you done had a one
night stand stalker, and you know he done called you and called you, you pick up the
phone and be like, who that car is up in that motherfucking driveway? I been calling you
for days. You don't say shit. That nigga finna kill your ass. He finna scare you to the point
where you finna put a restraining order against him. He don't care about the restraining order.
He wants the pussy. That's it. One night stands, like I said, it depends on what type of one
night stand it is and what type of person you going with. Because if you don't know
that one night stand, it could turn out to be a murderer. Sometimes some of those one
night stands, like we said, could be the best and can be the worst. You got some one night
stands that happen one time and them people are still talking to each other as friends.
No more. No more. Trust me. You got the ones that had their one night stand and they end
up together but not for long. I have to go back to that. I don't never think, like, if
you done fucked one time and y'all done became best of friends, it's a reason why you put
a person in that friend spot. Because you see it wasn't going to work. No. You could
see it was going to work. It probably would have worked. But you not attracted to that
person like you thought you would be. It's because you already attracted to something
that blinding you. To see in him. See, it's a lot of different things, bro. Like I told
you, it's a lot of different shit. You got to have been around that block. You got to
spent that block. I'm going to tell y'all something. Don't never think. If a motherfucker
put you in a friend spot and y'all done fucked already, that's bad, bro. That's bad business
for both. He know how that pussy feel. You know how that dick feel. Drunkenness get involved.
Y'all going to have it again. Y'all going to fuck, bro. Period. There ain't no point
about it. Now, I'm going to tell you something. My best friend used to get naked in front
of me to try to tease me to see what I was going to do. If I was going to fuck, I would
have fucked up our friendship. Like that ass for real. I would have fucked up me and her
friendship. But guess what I said? I'm going to step out the room. When I said that the
third time that she did that shit in front of me, she said, yeah, you my brother. I said,
yeah, you my sister. Because I had a feeling like I never wanted to talk to her. When we
first started talking, it was a brother, sister joking vibe, bro. We killed it. Motherfuckers,
shit, we thought we were brother and sister for real. Our mamas thought we were real brother
and sister. That's how we slept over each other's house. Her daddy didn't care how I
slept in her room. That was my fucking little sister. That was nigga. And she was two hours
younger than me. Nah, she was six hours younger than me. My two best friends are born on the
same day as me. That is crazy. And we all are different people. You look at me and say,
he goofy. You just don't know. You look at Tuka. Shout out to my boy in the head, Tuka.
You look at Tuka. Tuka don't look like no killer. I mean, Tuka is not a killer. He really
not a killer. Tuka is smarter than me. A student. I was an ABC and sometimes a D student because
I wasn't finna fucking dress out for no P.E. My dick is big. My balls are starting to hang.
They give me these little ass shorts. My mama ain't got me wearing drawers no more. I ain't
wearing briefs. I'm wearing the one with the hole in the front that my nutsack is. I open
my legs and you can see hairs on my nuts and legs. Nah, I ain't finna wear that shit. I
ain't gonna lie though. I wore the one for my P.E. teacher. I told her one day, that
way I got kicked out of the clarin and they switched me to a computer clarin. I said,
I ain't gonna lie, I dropped these big hair balls on you. I ain't gonna lie though. But
one night stands are fun, man. They are the time. Your 20s to 33, from age of 25 to the
age of 38 is your fucking golden years. That's the shit that you done with it. Like 25, you
matured, you trying to see what you going in life.
That's for me.
For 20? No, no, this is any age period. Woman or female.
Nah, cause some females, like my whole phase ended at 29. I came to the realization this
shit was born.
You see when I first said-
I have no need for this. I'm too busy in life for this anyway.
But then you, that my favorite word too y'all. But then you hear me say 20 to 30? That's
like the age of-
But you got women in that same age range that's still going through that whole phase and continue
to go through that whole phase.
Nah, that's the one that's living the whole phase all the way out.
Yeah.
Them ain't the ones that still ain't choosing to go through it. They just don't go through
it.
Nah, some of them are choosing.
But if they, but let's be for real. What about if that one night stand was the best friend
of somebody that you loved?
I can't say that.
Cause I, like I've been in that type of situation before. Like I say 25.
At the age of 25, like she loved this man, but I was the one night stand.
And I told him as a man, like I hit that year ago. But I ain't never tried to fuck with
her after that cause I told her it was just one night stand. And he was like, thank you
for telling me the truth.
And he know like, hey, man, y'all just ain't standing there for goddamn. And I told her,
look, bro, you telling this man, you got this man thinking like I want, I don't want to.
I think you want me.
I about to say how that dick was dropping in your way.
You're going to think it petty and worse.
Look, I don't play.
They were going to give her a reason to say, fuck it. I don't want to, I want to smoke.
If you ain't, every woman that I done fucking touch that ain't, ain't never squirted in
their life is a straight squirtle.
Do you hear me?
Every woman.
Do you hear me?
It wasn't a fucking squirtle.
It's a squirtle now.
So every, all the people to the, to all the one night stands that's married, listen to this show now.
Tell your husbands, I said, I just need to thank you.
I don't want no money.
No, I just need to thank you.
And they can subscribe.
That's how I show.
You're digging me.
Hold on.
We got a positive message time.
Well, that was empty.
The color dark red.
Hey, stop wearing read.
It's too passionate.
Just I'm saying like the dark red, like the dirty read.
That's too passionate.
See, like that read right there.
That's the dark.
That's the dark red.
You can go see that real right there.
It's too passionate.
It brings too much pain.
It's bloodshed with that read.
They read also, but I'm talking about the black.
That dirty, dirty, dirty read is read.
Read.
I'm gonna read this kind of read.
It means fire.
No, no, actually my shirt.
No, any type of read is passionate.
Yes, fire and passion.
It just means passion brings fire.
And my definition for this read means pain.
That's my definition.
Okay, well, I'm gonna give y'all the definition because pain is a part of passion.
That's something that you show.
It's an emotion.
It's a feeling.
Pain, that's why I say sometimes take that read off.
You don't think about the bloodshed.
Think about the tears.
Think about the loved ones you lost.
You can't do that, man.
No.
You can't be passionate.
When it's time to be passionate, wear it.
Wear it in the bedroom.
Wear it when you're finna whoop somebody's ass.
You know what I'm saying?
That's gonna bring that fire in you.
Don't wear it when you know you're having the best day of your fucking life.
Bro, if you gonna wear something, I ain't gonna tell you, don't put on black.
Because black, it shows empowerment, but it also shows you that you stuck.
You stuck in a hole.
So the best thing that you can do and the colors that you can put on to brighten up your life,
get you an orange, get you a green, get you a blue.
Keep something that can do it.
Because if you don't, bringing fire and that passion, guess what that always leads up to?
Destruction. Heartbreak.
You gotta know colors means a lot in this world, just like numbers.
Everything means a lot.
But on another tip, back to the original topic.
A one-night stand in the whole faith.
You only got one fucking life to live, man.
If you 40-something and you 50-something and you ain't never did this, go get you a young man.
A young woman.
A young tenor.
And let them work your ass out for that night and just smile all day while your body hurting.
Do it on one of your sick leaves from work.
Man, I'm trying to, bro.
You gonna feel so good the next day when it's time to go back to work.
I'm trying to tell you, I done had a one-night stand at work, on the job, at UMC.
We were the co-workers and we worked together.
And I act like I never knew my ass after that.
Been fighting all day and you can feel the tension.
I said, girl, I'll stick my hands in your pants.
That girl went up in that empty room with some soap and what's it called, you know when a woman wash herself up.
Kind of sprayed cologne.
I said, you put perfume on, you got to hide this man.
She said, not boy, you stupid.
I bet you won't do it now.
I said, I bet I will.
And I did.
And she was like, you are so retarded.
I'm like, you never know what you're going to get out of me.
As a friend, it would never be nothing bad.
As a friend, lover, anything, you would never get nothing bad out of me.
But it would always be something good because even a laugh, anything, you don't, bro, I'm ignorant.
My dad always, my daddy told me something when we were young.
Every male, he told this and every female got told this.
If a woman can, if you can make a woman laugh, you got to.
Start smiling in them nigger faces.
Right or wrong.
I don't give a fuck who you are.
Everybody got told it.
Everybody.
If a motherfucker made you smile, that's a, you got some people that make you smile but got a sick ass,
like when they make you smile, they already in that, nah, that sneaky motherfucker, you, nah.
But you got some that make you smile just to help you get your day feeling better.
Yeah.
But don't try to go back after the one night stand.
Right.
You will know if it's meant about when it comes down to the six, how you want to sit in and go from a one night stand.
Because I know y'all had a vibing conversation that's what led up to the one night stand.
But after that, what you going to think about it?
I ain't going to lie.
After the one night stand, I'm thinking about some birth.
Now, I'm trying to be like, I'm trying to be like baby boy, that nigga up in that butt nigger cooking eggs for your mama.
I'm trying to be in the kitchen cooking like this, you hear me?
But I ain't trying to stay.
I'm trying to cook me some, cook you some, and I'm gone.
And I don't think you can have that memory of, damn that nigga made some good ass goddamn cinnamon toast eggs.
I know.
How did he make cinnamon toast?
Bitch, I crushed over the cinnamon toast and just spiked it over the eggs.
Man, see?
But it's just real talk, man.
Don't have it, man.
It's life.
It's life, bro.
Just go and do it.
Shit, I got a couple of shit I want to do.
I want to fuck Oprah before I leave.
I least got to get a billion dollars out of that motherfucker.
I'm just playing Oprah.
I'm just playing.
You might counsel me.
I just got started, baby.
But we just, you know, it's just real talk.
I want people to understand, like, if you can't live life and look back on the shit that you done did and laugh at it,
what memories do you have to take with you when you leave this motherfucker? That's all you have.
You ain't got shit else.
No draws, no nothing.
You dead.
I seen a nigga get buried but naked.
Do you hear me?
He said, I'm going in the world.
Exactly how I came in.
I ain't going to lie.
I can't go out naked.
I'm going to go out with a Viagra pill.
Just put one in my mouth and tell the doctor to put one in me before I go.
I want my dick to be rock hard and let everybody know you going to miss this.
You better hope the mortician don't fuck you first.
Man, the mortician fuck me.
I gots to come back one more time.
Like, please.
I'm begging the person before I get to God, like, give me 15 minutes.
At least 45.
I got to enjoy this from this time.
She gots to look at the mortician, man.
He going to turn around and look.
I say we can take turns.
You can go on my body.
Shit.
My body got two rounds out of it.
I got one more to go.
Who else?
I wish a motherfucker would come down.
I wish one of my family members would come down and tell me, hey, hold on, man.
Let me get a piece.
You going to take your stench ass back up.
I'm just playing.
Y'all know I'm eating a man.
I don't have nothing else to say to you.
I got to leave you with a funny story, man.
So I used to do dumb shit back in my day, right?
I was a young boy before young boy was young boy.
Like, we used to, they used to call us real grave robbers.
You know when you 13 years old, this is when I found out what my brothers in there were doing.
But I made that motherfucker like it was a 4K.
Like, okay.
But my brothers didn't take me to this graveyard on Cabot Street one night.
Fuck it.
It's a statute of limitations.
It's too old.
You can't get me.
Nigger take me to the graveyard one night, bro.
I was to my son, you need some money for the school dance, don't it?
I say, it's a winter ball, bitch.
I can borrow some boots.
I'm trying to get your template.
No, you ain't getting my shit.
Man, yo smile off your ass.
This man take me over here with two of my cousins, two of his homeboys, and two of my other brothers.
Ah, shit, you take my cousin.
Anyway, bro, we get to this motherfucker, right?
He was like, huh, get the shovel, bitch.
I'm like, what the, who you calling a bitch, bitch?
So we throwing the shovel back and forth.
Like, my family know, like, at a young age, don't fucking play with me.
Like, don't play with me.
I would literally slap the fuck at you.
Don't play with me.
This man, so we started digging, right?
So I hit something.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Got some, it's a treasure chest.
This nigga said a treasure chest.
His dumb ass.
That's the only thing you hear.
Man, when I turned back around, I looked and said, that bitch fresh.
Beautiful, lovely woman.
Just got put in the ground.
Not even a couple days ago.
Not even five days ago.
Not even five, not even, I'm talking about, not even five days prior to this incident.
That's what I meant.
Bruh, so we take the big ass jewelry, pearls, diamonds off of and everything.
You can't take that shit with you.
I won't robbing the poor.
The Bible say you can't rob the poor, but I'm taking from the rich.
Fuck you.
This bitch can't take it no more.
She dead.
What she gonna do?
Floss it to the other people in the graveyard?
I think she gonna inflict it to the rich.
Frick it to the rich.
But we go to the other grades.
We go to another grade site so we get ready to do some crazy shit.
But it's an old wooden box.
Man, we get in the box, man.
My cousin touching the man and everything.
Going under the man, but the man going down and on.
And he feel that there ain't no hand right there.
He say, ah, where the hand at?
So everybody stop and they panic.
Who stole the hand?
I said, who the fuck out here want to take a goddamn hand?
I said, it look like the bitch been cut off, man.
Y'all some dumb ass high schoolers.
Bitch, I'm in the seventh grade.
I know not to steal a hand.
What I supposed to do?
I'm a bitch and drag her to.
That's stupid.
So, man, police, the sheriff come up in there.
We see the light, but we don't see the light.
Oh, my nigga, you must call for backup because he went ahead for a minute.
Man, I say about five minutes go by.
Y'all get out there.
The nigga in the house that steal just say, y'all get out the goddamn yard.
I told you, get the fuck out these people yard.
I say, yes, he said, who the fuck got a yard out here?
My brother to my, he so fucking stupid.
I say, how the fuck I'm stupid?
Where the fuck you see niggas got a porch in a yard?
I don't see no mailboxes.
Can't dad people get motherfucking mail?
He said, no, my partner, he's scared.
So the police say, come here, bring your ass here, boy.
I told you I was going to get you this time.
We all take off running.
How about these niggas throw me up in the motherfucking casket with the fresh dead body.
Oh, yeah, my nerves, my motherfucking nerves on 10, man, because I'm laying on top of it like I'm fabric missionary six, but her legs not up.
The weirdest thing I was thinking in my head before I got scared, scared was, would it be weird if my dick got hard?
I'm 13. I ain't give a fuck, bro. Oh, my God.
So, nigga, I feel, I don't give a fuck what y'all say.
I've been in this graveyard.
You ain't dead till you're dead, bro.
That last breath, you gone.
It feel like she did that.
That like that Woosah exhale.
Like she's.
And then I feel something going up my back.
I said, this bitch touching me.
This bitch touching me.
Man, the police came and got my ass and snatched my ass about her.
I shit it all on myself, people.
So that man said, yeah, yeah, somebody smell like shit, been in some shit, doing some shit and shit it on.
I said, I take you to me, take me home.
Man, that man took me home and told my mom if he ever kiss me in that graveyard again, I would go into jail.
And I've been in that graveyard down over a thousand times, bro.
I wait till his shit changed.
I'm smart.
But yeah, it just, you know, right.
Don't judge me on this shit because I don't do this.
Nobody I'm not with who do that.
I'm not all the type of shit I just do crazy shit just to get money back in my day.
We all did crazy shit.
But at the same time.
I'm King Josh.
I'm Queen E.
This is all in.
All family.
And we have this bitch.