Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love,
endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight
of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to
which you were called when you made your good
confession in the presence of many witnesses.
welcome to our small group we call it bumper
sticker wisdom I'm John I'm Terry our new that's
our new thing it's a small small group so they
can't say we're not doing a small group sorry
my volume got off a little bit that's cuz you
ribbon yes in my pocket we'll say a quick prayer
and then we'll get started Heavenly Father, we
want to thank you for everybody who's taking
the time right now to listen to us, Father God.
May you give us something that we can present
to them that gives them some curiosity, some
hope. Maybe they feel some love. Maybe they feel
seen and included, Father God. We love you. We
thank you for this call. And it's in Jesus' name
we pray. Amen. Amen. So last week, we've had
a couple of good weeks of conversations. You
know, two weeks ago we replayed a a video of
us having a real conversation at home. Well,
it's funny because I keep telling them, yes,
you have to listen. You're like, babe, they don't
come out to next week. I'm like, oh, dang it.
I think it's the one that's not. Yeah, you're
right. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm
like, it's episode 133. Yeah. And they're like,
that's not what I said. I'm sorry. I hear y 'all
don't. I'm sorry. Yes. Yes. We're literally Okay,
so if you think about it, it's two weeks out,
right? So what we record today doesn't come out
this Saturday, it comes out the Saturday after,
right? So it's technically it's like 10 days
out or 11 days out, 12 days out, something like
that. So it does get a little bit confusing that
way. It's hard because I'm not used to that because
I'm always like, you know, yeah, you should go
listen. I'm like, oh, yeah, no, you missed it.
You missed it. Not yet. But so. Anyway, we've
had a couple of good really good conversations
two weeks ago It was you know, we talked through
a video of us having a conversation about the
weight of a tear and it how what that led into
a lot of different things and then Last week,
we really talked about the attack on relationships
and there's a ton in that you can unpack And
then at the end of the conversation we were already
done. We had already you know cut We were just
talking and I said something that seemed like
a good thing to talk about and the main idea
is it turns out that fighting is a full -time
job it is a full -time job right meaning it's
not it's not like every once in a while you're
going to have a battle when you're in this christian
life you might as well just already be prepared
for war right it's it's it's part of the gig
yeah And I don't know. It's not real easy to
reconcile that in our minds to help us understand
that. But there's a whole bunch of other things
that come out of that. Right. Like a lot of questions
come out of that. No. Number one. And a lot of
thoughts that came through it. Right. Like I
think we have this false sense of expectation
when we join in the fight. Right. Like we think
that. You know. as we grow in maturity with Christ
in our relationship with Christ like the fighting
will end. Right? No, this is this is the job
you signed up for. Yeah. And so what are you
looking at? My chapstick is really interesting.
It's not interesting. I'm just I'm trying to
think if I want to turn down my volume or not.
But yeah. Sorry. If it's not I took my watch
off. I think it's another. You're over here just
like. Well, I'm just flipping it and it's annoying.
I know. Sorry. I think it's another. Sorry. So
anyway, it's it's going to the fight just doesn't
end. No, it doesn't. Yeah. It's like I was at
the bar the other day because I worked during
the day on a Friday and I. I'm always talking
about something, you know, my church or something,
and I invited two people while I was there. They're
like, oh my gosh, what church are you going to?
So I told them what church I went to. And this
one guy goes, well, I don't believe. And I said,
I'm not asking you to believe or whatever. He
goes, well, we believe that you don't have to
go to church. I said, I'm with you. I said, I
believe that you don't have to go to church to
believe. But I'm just saying, do you believe
in Jesus? He goes, yeah. I said, but I don't
say you, I'm not saying you have to go to church.
But I'm fighting for what I believe in. And he's
like, no, I believe in that. You know, I'm like,
OK, then just don't say that. Just say, I don't
believe in. I don't have to believe to go to
church. Right. I don't have to go to church to
believe. And look, you're right. You don't. Yeah.
You also don't have to go to school to cut somebody's
chest open and work on their heart. Yeah. But
it's probably not going to end well. Yeah. Where
does this go? Where does that go? Right. That's
how I view church now. Yeah. I didn't used to.
Used to be very firm about this right like I
was very firmly Opposed to the church and it
Stems back to some church hurt and some things
that I saw everybody gets hurt a hundred percent
where people are involved Here church there anywhere.
You're gonna get hurt no matter where you go.
Yeah where people are involved There's probably
gonna be a level of offense or hurt So I guess
to It just We've been going to this church what
eight years almost nine years now and so for
me My viewpoint has changed yeah, right like
yeah you can Walk your relationship out by yourself
if you want to but God didn't design you that
way We need to be fed, right? And we need to
be mentored and we need to be counseled, right?
And it's the first time in my life that I've
ever truly been willing to, right? And a lot
of that comes from being in relationship with
a church for as long as we have, right? The person
that was willing to reach out about struggle
is motivated by the person who's been in church
for eight years and and learned That I can't
do this by myself. You know what I mean? I'm
not equipped. You know what I mean? I'm Started
behind in a lot of ways. So Yeah, I can I'm smart
enough to Read the Bible and be in relationship
with Christ and you can have a relationship with
him that way You can be fully have faith in him
in that way But you're not gonna get everything
you need You have to have people around you that
are pouring into you, right? You know what I
mean? You have to have that you have to have
people pouring into you because if you don't
then it's like You're not gonna get full. You're
not gonna be able to you know pour into others
So you gotta get poured into so you can pour
into others too, right? You know, that's that's
good. You know I'm saying I Think over time the
thing about fighting the good fight right and
fighting The battle never really truly ending
is like, you know, the the fight changes over
time, right? Like when you first get in relationship,
you know, you probably fight sin, right? So you're
like you kind of fight the temptations and things
like that. And then as you go, it becomes other
things, right? Like maybe I don't struggle so
much with that sin anymore. But now I got a new
problem. Like my pride gets in way or or discouragement
or like like where I'm at now. I'm facing. Scars
that I've never really dealt with because I've
always had someone else or something else to
focus on right now I have to focus on me. It's
a weird place to be in. You know what I'm saying?
It's so like the fight changes it evolves it
gets different over time and You know We have
to decide that we want to be actively participating
in this fight, right every single day. So our
faith Our faith is not just something that's
just there right You know what I mean? You actually
have to live it out. You have to act it out.
You have to walk through it. Does that make sense?
Yes, yes. And I think that, you know, I think,
again, going back to that conversation or that
part of the conversation where it was like, you
know, we kind of have this false expectation
that we come into relationship with Christ and
it's like, this is easy street. You know what
I mean? I think it bears proving that we are
meant to fight. Yeah. We are meant to be in a
fight. Yeah. If we weren't, why would God design
the full armor? Right? Absolutely. Amen. Yeah.
So you got a helmet, you got a breastplate, you
got a belt, you got feet, shoes, you got a shield,
right? All those things are meant to defend you
in a fight, right? Yeah. Right. And then there's
the sword. There's the sword. Yeah. Right. You're
meant to Use his word which is what the sword
of the spirit is which is the word of God You're
meant to use his word as a combat Assistant in
the fight. So I guess the question is what are
we fighting? the good fight Yeah, we're fighting
the good fight, but what are we fighting? What's
the thing that we're fighting? I Mean there's
gonna be a lot of different things, you know,
what are you fighting for, you know? I think
the good fight is fighting for truth, right?
And fighting for advancing his kingdom. And I
think you're right, it actually looks different
in different places. Yeah, I mean, everybody's
in a different stage of life, seasons. So everybody
could be dealing with certain things. Yeah, and
one portion of your life... You know, like Jason's
been on here talks very openly about his struggles
with addiction Yeah, and then one phase of his
life that was his fight. Yeah And then another
phase of his life. It may it's something else
and another phase of your life It's something
else and that's the physical tangible thing that
you're combating But the truth is none of those
are what you're what we're fighting. Excellent.
We're fighting Not against flesh and blood. Yes,
but against ideals principalities. We're fighting
the enemy the enemy Right and yeah I feel like
this year, you know, I'm not going to say he's
one because I'm telling you he is not winning,
but he is done. He's he's he's trying to win.
He's not winning. He is not. But he's just he's
done a lot of damage this year for me to see
in lots of not just my not me, but in lots of
different people. And I want people to know that.
Just got to be able to use God's word. Use God's
Word to be able to fight the enemy. We have to
use His Word. Get into your Bibles, guys, because
we need to use it. Because the devil can put
one word. He can just put just one word into
your head and then he will make you believe that
one word. That turns into a big old ball of yarn.
Oh, yeah. It gets tangled up into all kinds of
nastiness. The thing about the sword, the thing
about the sword that is evidence to me, I think
a lot of us as Christians get into this mode
of thinking that we are meant to take the beating.
Right? Yeah. You're actually supposed to fight
back. Yes. Right. And now again, this is all
metaphorical, right? Yeah. Look, if you don't
know, we're fighting with words. Yes. Right.
The words that are coming into our heads, the
words that are coming out of our mouths. Right.
And so that's why the sort of the spirit of God's
word is so important. Right. Your Bible, it is
important. And I think also, what does victory
look like? I think we think that victory looks
like advancement, like we're advancing, we're
advancing, we're pushing forward, pushing the
enemy back, right? So you think about a, you
know, okay, so you're not, you don't like war
movies, but you like medieval type of movies
and stuff like that. And so imagine like Game
of Thrones, right? You remember when Jon Snow
goes out on the battlefield and all these dudes,
he's out there by, he's, he's a man of, he's
an army of one standing out there with this whole
horde rushing at him. And then He doesn't realize
that the people behind him are coming to fight
with him, but you kind of, that's the image you
get, right? And you feel like winning is pushing
the enemy backward when really it's just standing
firm. It is. If you really listen, look into
God's word when he's talking about the full armor,
he says, stand firm. Stand firm, not advance,
not retreat. Firm, stay where you are. Yeah.
It's just like, it's just like the, doesn't it
mean when they went around the wall? They also
was Jericho. Yeah, and he's turning firm around
the wall and kept going and getting ready still,
you know, that was firm They kept walking and
walking finally, you know, that's a confidence,
right? Yeah standing firm. Is it how do you get
that? Where how do you get the ability to stand?
Yeah, it's confidence It's knowing knowing that
you're strong. Yeah on the word standing on the
word Being there you're gonna see God's God play
through it. You're going to see him in it. All
the things he's going to play through, you know,
and I think what we, what we start to recognize
is that the enemy, he doesn't necessarily try
to destroy you. He's not just here to destroy.
He actually is trying to exhaust you, just wear
you down. Right. So we keep like, if you, if
you know anything about boxing or any kind of
a combat sport, um, boxing, Mixed martial arts.
There's a thing about body shots Stamina every
time you eat one to the body. It takes your stamina
down, right? Your engine loses a little fuel
Yeah, getting punched the face is brutal. Yeah,
those body shots Linger. Yeah, you know what?
I mean it drains the tank and so The enemy is
constantly throwing body shots And you're like,
oh eight thousand eight thousand eight thousand,
but you still feel like you're good until eventually
you're not good Yeah, you know what I mean? And
then all he's truly trying to do is to try to
divert you So I'm gonna wear you down to where
you no longer feel like getting into his word.
You no longer feel like praying You no longer
feel like serving you no longer feel like you
know what I'm saying. Just he's a master at that
Oh, yeah wearing you down, right? I'm wearing
you down, baby You know, it's it's truly Where
we have to yeah be equipping ourselves with the
armor. Absolutely, right and You know, it takes
heart it takes it takes that's what I think church
is about though, right like we were talking about
it That's what I think church is about and the
reason you need to be there It's like you can
find some good people in church, right and you
find some bad people too Oh, yeah, but just like
I said, you've got to find the good ones There's
gonna be bad ones. I'm not gonna say every church
every church is like that. I'm sorry That's just
people and it's just people you're gonna find
bad ones. You're gonna find good ones. Yeah,
that's anywhere you go. Yeah, I think that How
do you equip yourself Right. How do we equip
ourselves with the armor? How do we equip ourselves
with the sword of the spirit, right? By learning
by being in his word learning what those things
are learning how to activate them Can you do
it on your own? Sure. But you're only coming
from one perspective. Yeah. Right. And so look,
we are supposed to help each other. Yeah. Right.
It says it's not good for man to be alone. Right.
God's Word says that very early in the beginning,
you know, with Adam and Eve. And so we're meant
to share life with people. We're meant to share
life. And you can know God's Word and still not
know it. Absolutely, you can get one scripture
and mean one a scripture. I mean one this year
and the next year You can read the same thing.
I mean something else next year. I mean, it's
all about that season that you're in, you know,
yep I think we get into the thought that Peace
being at peace means that we're not ever we're
not fighting. Absolutely, and I don't think that's
true I think Peace doesn't mean the absence of
conflict, right? I think peace means Calm in
the storm calm in the conflict confidence understanding
believing in him and understanding That we come
from a position of victory. We're not fighting
for victory We can't we can't win because it's
already won. Yeah, and he can't win because it's
already won Yeah, you know what? I mean the victory
already belongs to Jesus. It's already been done
It's just like what would you say the M on Sunday?
You know, it's just like we want to like What
did he say about? Resting yeah And it's like,
you know letting him you know do it for us, you
know, he's got it he knows what we've you know
it's all about Getting there and then just like
he's that he knows what I mean. We can just just
follow work We can just be like a leash. Yeah,
just just put me on a leash. I'll just follow
you One thing that that he said that I that resonates
is that he didn't say um rest doesn't mean he
said rest doesn't mean no action right doesn't
mean you're not doing anything right right right
doesn't mean laziness no no absolutely not i
mean but but just it's just like just like following
in his steps like you know here we go just just
following his steps as in and then here it is
resting you know you've ever heard the saying
rest assured No, rest assured means you can bet
on it Oh, right. Yeah, so like rest assured I'm
gonna blah blah blah rest assured they're gonna
blah blah blah, right rest assured Okay. Yeah,
so being assured is like a confidence. So if
you're what you're what we're talking about there
is Being rest assured that God's got you. Yeah,
right You can rest because you are assured that
he's got you, right? You're sure that he loves
you. You're sure that he cares. You're sure that
he's more concerned about you than he is the
birds, but the birds get provided for. Why are
you so concerned? He's providing for you if you
just let him. Yeah. Now that doesn't mean look,
the birds build nests too. Yeah. They provide,
God provided the material, right? This doesn't
mean don't do anything. Right. It means have
confidence, trust. Trust in the Lord. It says
trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean
not on your own understanding, right? In all
your ways submit to him and he will make your
paths straight. You can't do that if you're not
at rest. Absolutely. Not at rest meaning sleeping
rest or laying on your butt or not doing anything.
Rested in your confident hope and your faith
in him. Absolutely. What are you fighting right
now? What do you feel like you're what's attacking
you? Me Come on man, let's get it. Let's get
let's get honest I've been honest just like my
next surgery and You're we're back on that now,
so just giving over my things for people to do
those things. Oh, I just had a given Things over
to people I have a problem with that and Understand
it Submitting to that that that's hard for me.
And then maybe it's something that you have to
experience though Think about it though exactly
you've never done. It's just like what I was
talking about about Like receiving compliments,
right? Yeah, it's a very uncomfortable thing
for me. I don't like it But I like it. Yeah,
I mean, of course everybody likes to be complimented
but I'm very uncomfortable with it. I don't know
how to act. I don't know how to receive it, right?
And just taking the small step of saying thank
you, I receive that. You know what I mean? It's
awkward, right? But maybe that's just the season
of life you're in. You have to understand. Maybe
this is how God's trying to tell you, hey, I
know you love me, but you don't know how to submit
to me. You don't know how to rest. You don't
know how to quit. You don't know how to let me...
take care of you. So I'm gonna do something to
you where you got no choice. So yeah, that's
that's probably what mine is. And then another
one is to just taking the time for myself and
learning how to say what how I feel sometimes
sometimes I don't tell people I feel sometimes
I just sometimes all the time. Come on, Terry.
All the time. Oh, you, you already know. So I
don't know what I'm telling you. You just don't.
Well, OK, but the thing is, I don't have a book
to you. You know what I mean? Just because I
know doesn't mean I know. Right. I know that
there's something, but I don't understand. Yeah.
Right. And I can't I tell you, I get frustrated
all the time when I'm like, look, I'm just trying
to understand and you can't tell me anything.
You won't tell me anything. Right. I don't. I'm
just trying to understand. Right. What are we
talking about a minute ago James says seek like
yeah No, and it's not because I said I'm like
I need to keep reading that I'm like keep speaking
it over myself You know those things you know
must be quick to listen Okay, so the thing is
why be quick to listen You don't be quick to
listen just so you can hear right you be quick
to listen so you can understand right so you
can calculate how to respond, right? And you
don't give me that benefit. I'm not saying not
ever, but a lot of the time, you don't give me
that benefit or that opportunity. So it causes
a little bit more tension for really no reason.
You know what I mean? Because I am that person.
I feel the tension in the room. I read it. It's
like butter. I could put it on my bread and eat
it. Did I say it like that? It's just like your
face, and I'm like, ooh. I didn't mean it like
that. Sorry. My face? My face. Sometimes I'm
like, ooh. I just need that one little person
on my shoulder to fix your face. Oh. If I start
smiling, it's going to be more awkward. I'm a
smiler, though, so you know. But yeah. But sometimes
my words come out, and I'm just like, oh, I didn't
mean it like that. But it came out that way.
So, you identify the thing, right, right now
that you're fighting, so you're having a problem
with submission, so how do you fight? Learning
to submit, just trusting that someone's gonna
do it. You were gonna say do it right You were
gonna say do it right that's exactly what you
were gonna say, isn't it? Yes, it is. Oh, I got
her got her on film on Film on camera digital
film Caught you do it my way. Uh -huh. I know
it's not gonna get done the right way. I know
but What's the right way your way or is it y
'all way I can't say that because it's, hey,
it's like, I can't say it because, hey, it's
getting done. What matters is done, you know?
Like, that didn't, okay, it's done. It doesn't
matter. I'm gonna break this down for you. I'm
gonna be real clear with you. She is not worried
about anybody else not doing it right. She's
worried about me not doing it right. That's who
she's talking about. It's nobody but me. Just
like cameras had the other day. He goes now.
I know you weed eater I said she because what's
the she has a cuz she's temperamental She likes
it a certain way he goes I know and she is she's
she's just you know, you got to keep a trigger
I Just I don't know what it is. It's just like,
you know, he used her the other day and he was
like, yep I got her now I got and I know how
to do it now. Look, I understand But so the issue
that I have with how you feel about that is what
have I ever done to make you feel like I can't
or won't, you know what I mean? Look, okay, just
to kind of give a little bit of a backstory,
when we very first started doing this, where
we were mowing at Jaylee Milligan, when we very
first started doing that, you didn't like the
way I mowed, but you never said anything. Until
until eventually you did and it's like, okay,
hold on This is a business Technically right
now. I'm your employee. I can't live up to an
expectation that you don't set, right? Right.
So if you refuse to set the expectations and
you can't be upset that I didn't live up to it
You're right. You're so right. That's why I was
like it's too big for me to do is I'm like she
used to She complained about my lines Like I
didn't know straight But you never said that
you never said who doesn't do straight lines
terry. I Just I agree. I agree with you. I totally
understand. I know I didn't mow my yard growing
up I know I understand that you had to pick weeds
I had yeah, we manually mowed it with our fingers
and we we picked weeds too But I mean that was
we enjoyed doing that so that was something that
we enjoyed that was punishment To us. It was
not punishment. It was given to me as a punishment.
It wasn't Hey, we're out. Here's a family picking
weeds No, it's take your ass out there by yourself
in the dead heat of summer with no one around
you by yourself and you pick those giant tree
stalk weeds that poke and Give you blisters and
cut you and they're stickers and yeah That what
it was given to me as a punishment it wasn't
My mom would have a little butter knife and she'd
just go out. But see, that's an activity at that
point. You're doing it together. There wasn't
nobody out there with me. I was by myself. Get
your ass out there and pick those weeds. I get
it. I totally understand that. So yeah, punishment,
not a reward. We would fight over the mower.
Me and Kevin would fight over the mower in the
yard. I don't even remember us owning a lawn
mower. Sure we did, but I don't remember. Me
and Kevin would fight over the mower. But me,
like I said, I'm an edge person. Edging is easy.
So easy. It's the weed eating that's bad because
you have to catch just the top layer. You can't
just go. OK, it's just. I know. I understand.
Like, have I ever done this? No, but then it's
like you can't get it and then you take you spend
more time like restringing it and then pulling
and restringing. And it's just. Yeah, it's OK.
What are you scared of? I don't know. Time because
you're not doing it. I know. Who cares? It's
your time. It's my time. I know. I know. I know.
Wow. She just hurt my feelings in front of seven
billion people. I know. I'm so sorry. I know.
I went to a conference one year and he scalped
my yard on purpose, on purpose. It was terrible.
It was time. Look how much better it looks ever
since then. No. Yes. That's the yard. That has
nothing to do with me scalping it. We don't scalp
yards no more. That's old school. It works. Well,
not all the time. We don't scalp yards no more.
We just feed it, water it, feed me. Okay. Because
you're the expert. That's the point. We don't
scalp yarns no more. This looks terrible. It
was winter time. It was dormant. It wasn't growing.
That's what you're supposed to do. Oh, we don't
do that. It comes back better next year. That's
the point. No, we're not. We're staying right
here until we solve this issue. We're fighting
the good fight right now. We're not, we're just
talking about mowing grass. Mowing grass can
be a metaphor for other things too though. If
you think about it, this is exactly what we're
talking about, right? Like in order for me to,
I have to be able to understand, but you won't
even give me a reason why other than we just
don't do that. That's not an answer. You just
don't do that. It's just, it's not good for the
grass. Yes, it is good for the grass. People
have been doing it forever and it works. So why?
Everybody else is not me. Okay. But you won't
say why not you? Because I don't do that. Because
you just think it's wrong. No, I don't like the
way it looks. When you look at it, it just, it's
like, it's like your babies and you cut their
hair when they have lights. No, you just don't
do that. You have to. We had boys. I didn't.
So you just don't do that. You do do that. If
you got, hey, desperate times call for desperate
measures when it comes to that. That's okay.
My kids have lot. They told me lice. They said
use mayonnaise. No, it works. I don't care. I
can do it. She said I'll shave their head. No,
they got their hair picked out once. Anyway,
I'm just saying. This is what we're talking about,
right? Like, this is a fight, you submitting.
But the reason you don't wanna submit is because
you're worried that it's not gonna look like
you think it should look, right? But it's kinda
like what we were talking about earlier, just
because you don't like it doesn't mean it's not
true, right? Just because, you know what I mean?
Just because you disagree doesn't make it a bad
point. Just because you're offended doesn't mean
still that it's not true. You know what I mean?
So like it's just a flawed way of thinking is
all I'm saying if you if you Don't want me to
do something You have to express it Right. You
can't just assume I know because I don't I know
you very well But there's a lot of things you
don't tell me until after the fact and then you're
pissed at me Right, and I have to pay punishment
like what happened over the weekend Right. What
happened? literally I was trying to not be in
conflict with you and I still ended up being
in conflict with you clearly yes right I was
just trying to tell you hey look I I can't explain
it to you so like just drop it there's nothing
to talk about like I couldn't explain it to you
I said that I said I can't explain it to you
I'll have to show you but I can't right now so
just drop it right and then you took that to
be I was being mean and I was like no The attack
on relationships No It's just I'm just saying
right like It can be misunderstood it can right
and and We don't really fight all that much no,
we talk on here like we fight all the time we
really don't they don't But in order for to us
to avoid some of the conflicts that we have we
have to be able to communicate I Have no problem
telling you how I feel. I have no problem telling
you when you hurt me. Oh, I know None. I know
I don't know why you do though. I don't know
I just want to eat it. I guess I don't know sometimes.
I will tell you how feel you it's my problem
is I just don't want to go into conversation
sometimes I just don't know. I'm like I don't
know why I'm just Sometimes I don't yeah, well,
I understand. I understand completely. I think
that that's all of us But you know, we got to
work through it. Yeah We can't just sit there
and eat it and pretend like it's not a problem.
Yeah, because then it festers and then it festers
and that's not worth I I agree with you. I totally
understand that that's how we end up in those
situations. You know what I mean? And so because
then we bring this back up and then we bring
how about this one and how about this one? And
I agree. Yeah, keeping our seats is a bad deuce.
I know it's a bad idea. It really is. And you
know, I said we all do it on some level. Yeah,
we do. But just because you remember it doesn't
mean you have to mention it. You know what I
mean? Like I totally understand because you can
only go off your past experience, right? We've
talked about that before. Like so you come into
new relationships with your old relationships
in mind, right? That's why we struggle a lot
with in the beginning with your past relationships
sneaking into our current one. And I haven't
even done all those things. But it's like you're
kind of Projecting them on to you on to me and
I'm projecting them on to you because of what
we have experienced right now You can only go
off of what you know, right? And so it doesn't
that's not okay. That's why we have to communicate
right, right? That's why we have to work through
these things and be like, okay. Hey, you know
what? Here's the thing. I didn't even know it
bothered me until you did that or until you said
that and it bothers me now and You know what
I'm saying? Like, and you can't even identify
a thing. There's a hundred and one of them. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So like I've
said a couple of times, like why am I currently
in the position I'm in? It's because I'm not
focusing on this. Like back when I back when
I was dealing with all the things, all the traumatic
things, I just had the next traumatic thing.
Yeah. Well, now I don't have any of that. And
so it's like, oh, now all these things are still
here. I thought we were done with these. You
know what I mean? That bag of skeletons, they're
still here. I guess I tied them to my ankle and
carried them with me everywhere I went and I
didn't know it. So the fight looks different
for everybody and I think that right now my fight
is learning how to... I think what got me where
I'm at or where I was, was overextending. Right.
It's like what pastor Ritchie was talking about
about burning at both ends burning the candle
at both ends I over committed and I overextended
myself To the point that it was unhealthy for
me, right? Yeah, I did it and I did it for a
long time and so Having done some of the adjustments
we have done and stepping back a little bit I'm
able to work on myself work on my thinking and
things like that and it seems to be working from
what I can see But I'm probably not the best
judge. Right. I feel like you're doing better.
I really do. I mean, I think you feel I feel
like you're getting something out every time
you come out of counseling. I really do. I feel
like you you do work on everything every time.
Does it work every time in every situation? No.
But I feel like you do it on those occasions.
You know, I guess being reminded that. Fighting
is a full -time job. It is a full -time job.
Not gonna lie to you. We never get to get out
of the fight. There's never actually a bell.
Yeah. Ding, ding. That bell rang when you accepted
Christ, and it ain't gonna ring again until he
comes back. Absolutely. Right. And now we'll
be ready. Yeah, so... I guess everything that
we've kind of encompassed, we got a little bit
into our personal lives, which, you know, that's
bound to happen. when you get into this forum
fights a fight. I mean, it's this fight that
fight. Okay, so yeah, and you're right. It could
look different in different points, right? It
looks different at different to different with
different people, right? And so who are the who
are the people that are going to have the like
you're going to end up fighting with the most
the people you're closest to? Yeah, absolutely.
That you spend the most time around? Yeah, which
there's only one. As you know, I don't spend
time with a lot of other people right, but I'm
in a weird place right now like trying to figure
out how to reacclimate myself with new knowledge
and Come to an understanding of where my place
is and what I Feel like God is actually asking
me to do Yeah, I think I got into the ministries
that I was involved in because I kind of felt
pressured in a way Not with kids because that
was what something I've always felt called to
do right But I felt like my role to change based
on pressure, right? And I felt like I honestly
felt like the the altar ministry while it was
helpful to me again I want you to understand
like yeah, it was beneficial to me. It has been
beneficial to me. It's helped my prayer life
It's helped me be more bold in my prayer life
and all that kind of stuff. So please don't understand
but I also felt pressured to do it, right? Does
that make sense? And so this is a lot of what
people have a problem with with church. This
is why they don't like church because they feel
like they're pressuring you into something. The
reality is they're not, but they need you. You
know what I mean? That's the truth of it. They're
not trying to pressure you into anything, but
they desperately need your help. They can't do
it without volunteers. It's not possible. No
church other than the tiny ones Can get by without
volunteers, right? You know what i'm saying?
They just can't And no church is going to survive
is meant to survive without the support of the
people in it, right? It's not meant it's designed
that way because It's not that how else do they
make how else do you? Create revenue true to
grow the ministry, right? volunteers, I mean
And donation and donations. Yeah, right. I mean
people Guess pastor Richie could write books
and that could be a part another part revenue
stream Yeah, you can do all those things but
that's there's no guarantee in that. So how do
you keep the house of God open? Yeah, you know,
I mean cuz electricity ain't free boys and girls
Even for the church the building being free taxes
I mean the the land ain't free the building ain't
free the plumbing ain't free the electricity
ain't free You know what I'm saying? There's
got to be money involved. It has to. There's
no two ways about it, right? It's true. This
ministry being a different because this isn't
just a ministry, this is a business. We're establishing
it as a business, right? We're not a church.
We're not trying to replace church. We want to
supplement church. We want to be a community.
Right a community a small group right that we
can share our story you want to spread the living
hope of Jesus that's it and we want to share
stories and talk about our own experience each
other's experiences and Each other's understandings
my understanding is different than yours. Yeah,
and we're gonna get we're gonna get Pros and
cons. Oh, yeah, so we might get you know more.
I mean we're gonna get someone criticizing us,
but We're gonna take it, we're gonna take it
on the chin. That happens all the time. You know,
and it's okay. That happens already. I ain't
worried about that. So. What do you have to add
to the fight? Okay, so I put on here on my little.
On your notes. My bullet points. You have to
let go of parts of your life that you can't fix.
Which is the things you can't control you can't
control you know like I said I mean we we consider
to say all day long that we can You can only
can control what you can control. We say it all
the time control what you control parts of your
life Maybe good. They may be bad, but you can
only fix What you're willing to control you can
only fix you exactly you know I'm saying can't
fix others. You can't nothing. It's you It's
all about you. You can only give so much of yourself
to so many people. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. It only if they're willing to listen. You
know, at the end of the day, you still can't
control them. No, all you do is control what
you give them. Yeah. And if they take what you
get, if they take what you want, they're not
going to take. They're not going to see something.
Most people aren't going to take what you say
anyway. No, not really. I mean, in the grand
scheme of things, most people won't listen. They
do exactly what we talked about earlier. They
listen to hear, not to listen. So I heard what
you said, and I can repeat what you said, but
I'm not listening. I know that's a very strange
thought process. There's a movie called White
Man Can't Jump. I've only seen it one time. I
was probably like 13. Well, I was old. Wesley,
shut up. Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson, right?
Woody Harrelson is a white boy. Wesley Snipes
is African American and they're become they're
like, you know, they're they're rim runners,
right? In street basketball. And anyway, Woody
Harrelson, the white boy is listening to a certain
soul. Singer song on the radio and he's like
man. You can't hear that. He's like not here.
It's just fine He's like no, man, you can't hear
that right you listen, but you can't hear that
You know what I mean is like that's exactly what
I'm talking about like Seeking first to understand
Means listening slow down hearing. Yeah slow
down and listen most of our world today it's
all about a fast pace I mean our world is going
and going and going on and people slow down that's
when people are like you know what what you know
I have a mental breakdown what okay okay okay
see slow down you know what now we're actually
now you're getting it Once we slow down and we
actually realize what's going on in the world.
It's like, okay Now you see it Let's deal with
it. Okay, let's deal with this One thing at a
time. Yeah, you know, we all have to learn to
slow down and deal with this. Yeah, you know
We got a fire you have to listen and then you
can learn to speak Over your so speak life over
ourselves, you know learn that Fighting Looks
a whole hell of a lot like practicing the same
move a thousand times. Oh, yeah, absolutely,
right There's it's a old proverb that says don't
fear a man who knows a thousand moves Fear a
move and fear a man who knows one move practice
a thousand times. Absolutely. That's a good That's
good. There's a Japanese or Chinese proverb,
but you think about that This is what I'm talking
about what we are talking about when we talk
about Fighting the good fight and the sword of
the spirit You can fight with God's word You
can fight the fight with God's word. You can't
just be knowers of the word We have to be doers
of the word, right? We need to soak that word
in and plant it on our hearts So we have it available
to us when the attack comes because the attack
is coming. It is coming. Yeah There's no two
ways about it everybody listen You're going to
get hit. You're going to get attacked. The enemy
hates you. Be ready. He wants to wear you down.
If you are even remotely thinking about getting
involved, if you're even remotely thinking about
joining in relationship with Christ, know that
it is glorious, but it takes effort, just like
any relationship, this relationship included.
We naturally love each other so much, but our
relationship Only gets by so far with that. Yeah,
we actually have to work at it. We do work at
it. Yeah, you know what I mean? And look, we
still mess it up. Absolutely. All the time. You
know what I mean? But in the grand scheme of
things, I look around at other people's relationships
and I'm like, I got I got a good I'm good, man.
And you think about starting over, right? Like
I've told you, I've been struggling with that,
like that 15 years thing. Yeah. And it's like
thinking about what it would look like if I had
to start over. I'm not who's gonna put up with
me again again They have to learn me and understand,
you know what I mean? And I have to learn them
and like learn our nuances and our gives and
our takes F all that crap, bro. I am winning
right now. I am winning. The grass is never greener
on the other side. I'm just telling you. Hell
no. It's fake if it is. You know what? Astro
turf. I'll just water this one on this side and
I will make this one over here work a lot better
than I can. And she may scalp it. No, I am not.
Just take a little off the top. A little off
the top, including the skin. I might take a little
bit more off, but not scalp it. Just a little
off. Might take a little off more than I need
to, but never scalp it. You understand, right?
All of that encircles the whole conversation
about going to church, and it's like you can't
do it without learning. And you can't do it by
learning only on your own. But we have to learn
to teach each other. You've got to be able to
learn to help each other, teach each other, help
each other with the word. If you don't understand
the word, ask someone. Let's teach each other,
you know? That's why we're a small group. Yeah.
Ask us. We're the world's biggest small group.
And we want to share life with everybody. Absolutely.
And everybody's welcome. Everybody. Everybody.
Your perspective is welcome. I want it. I'm cool
with it. Just come in here with an open mind
an open mind, right? Don't come at me attacking
me. Yeah, cuz I'm just gonna shut you off Yeah,
if you want to come in here and have a legitimate
conversation. Yes, that's a I'm okay with that
Even if it's an opposing view, I'm cool with
that. Absolutely. I'm not right left. I'm right
in the middle I want to know like I think a little
of both works. Yeah, right. That's what I think
I think that I think that Relationship with Christ
is worth it man. It is worth and it's so much
more than heaven. Oh, yeah heaven is The everlasting
right the greatest thing when we get there But
when we we have an opportunity this like you
want to know why suicide rates so high. Yeah
a lack of Christ. Yeah, I Agree I Totally agree
Geez mic drop preach it preach it Go ahead you
got a joke. I'm sorry. Maybe sorry suck on your
suck on your drink over there I am let me see
what I got here. Let me get you a joke here Alrighty
waste of time I'm not gonna say it never mind
go ahead What do you call a belt made of watches
A belt made of watches is a waste of time, in
all the right words too. Waste of time. Very
literally. Waste of time. To know that even one
life has breathed easier because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded. To know that you've
affected one person's life in a positive way,
their life has become easier or better because
you, without you it wouldn't have happened, right?
That's success. That's what that means. And I
feel like that's you. That's what I want to be.
And I want, I would love - And hopefully we -
Seven billion, eight million. Yeah, yeah. That'd
be cool too. That'd be awesome too. Because I
think everybody deserves it. I do too. I think
it's - Everybody's made in the image of God.
Everybody is His creation. Everybody deserves
- And I feel like - To be in relationship with
Him. I feel like our world right now is so damaged
that people do, just like you had a conversation
with - Someone and it's like is it helping is
it is it this is that? What do you think? What
do you what do you really think about? What is
this? What is that? And you're like, yeah, and
they're like, oh I mean to have conversations
with people and they're like, you know, I mean
cuz I'm gonna lie to you. I mean We were never
raised counseling or anything like that. But
did that one step for someone To see where you're
going through and to reach one person if we reach
that one person Hey, you know, yeah, I felt god's
Giving us that person, you know, yeah to be reminded
that We're meant to commune with each other we're
meant to look this this life is uh Life itself
is not easier with christ, but you just Understand
better your place and you understand better how
to how to respond to difficulty You understand
but your your rest is in him rather than in what
you can and can't do That's a freeing thought.
You know what I mean? And Look, there's there's
only one God who's real You know what? I mean,
there's only one God who stands above them all
and that is the God right and he stands in the
form of three and that's father Yeah, only yeah,
he put himself on our level No other God was
willing to do that So he put himself on our level
was willing to live the perfect life and die
the spotless Africa sacrifice so that you could
receive him and Boldly come into his presence
and have relationship with him not law Yeah relationship
Should we follow the law? 100%. We should. Are
we going to? Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.
But we get relationship with the creator of everything,
an opportunity to understand ourselves on a higher
level and to eventually be joined with our creator
again for all eternity and the peace and perfect
and complete peace. Right. That's the whole point.
Absolutely. And so we took a roller coaster ride
on this one. I don't know about about the middle
eight of this conversation. I don't know what
purpose it'll serve, but, you know, I actually
like whenever we get a little bit real about
our relationship, because I want people to see
like we're just random people, too. You know
what I mean? We are not perfect. I mean, we're
still we're still here. We're still fighting
the fight and we still have gotten our lives.
We're always going to have gotten our lives.
Fighting the fight sometimes looks like fighting
with your spouse and learning to communicate
better. You know what I mean? Like, that's what
that is. Because you're my person, right? Like,
you're my person. You're the person on this earth
that I get to experience. Yeah, of course. You're
my greatest friend. Like, there's no friends
above you, right? There's only one that's above
you. That's Christ, that's it. It's God, it's
you, and then everything else falls behind that
in some random order, you know what I mean, for
the most part. So, anyway, you guys join along
with us. We'd love to have you. We'd love for
you to conversate with us in whatever way you
feel comfortable, whether it be in person, on
a phone call, on a text message, on an email,
every possible way you can think to reach out
to us, it's available to you at any given time.
You can come to our website. That's a good place
to start. We love you. We thank you for being
here. See you next time. See ya.