WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.080 I want to tell you about last week's date night. 00:00:03.660 --> 00:00:05.620 My wife and I went to the botanical gardens. 00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:08.820 There's this whimsical art installation. It's 00:00:08.820 --> 00:00:12.500 colorful and around trees, which I love. Of course, 00:00:12.580 --> 00:00:15.660 the gardens are beautiful right now. We made 00:00:15.660 --> 00:00:17.579 the effort to look nice for each other. We were 00:00:17.579 --> 00:00:20.879 laughing, reconnecting after what's been a really 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.960 busy stretch. It was the first purely joyful, 00:00:25.239 --> 00:00:28.019 very intentional thing we'd done together in 00:00:28.019 --> 00:00:30.550 quite a while that we hadn't tried to fit in 00:00:30.550 --> 00:00:34.009 between a bunch of other things happening. I 00:00:34.009 --> 00:00:37.429 really didn't want it to end. So I suggested 00:00:37.429 --> 00:00:40.609 we keep going. There was a cocktail lounge that 00:00:40.609 --> 00:00:43.630 our friends had been raving about and right next 00:00:43.630 --> 00:00:46.130 door is one of our favorite restaurants. It's 00:00:46.130 --> 00:00:48.630 Spanish tapas and they usually have live music. 00:00:49.390 --> 00:00:53.109 So we went. I had the espresso martini and then 00:00:53.109 --> 00:00:57.070 we stayed for dinner. Here's the thing. In any 00:00:57.070 --> 00:01:01.049 other context, One indulgent evening after 68 00:01:01.049 --> 00:01:04.129 days of clean eating would have been just that. 00:01:04.609 --> 00:01:09.629 One evening, no big deal. But I'm an abstainer. 00:01:10.269 --> 00:01:13.790 And once I opened that gate, it didn't close 00:01:13.790 --> 00:01:17.530 very easily. That was six days ago. And I'm recording 00:01:17.530 --> 00:01:19.829 this today because I'm done letting my future 00:01:19.829 --> 00:01:23.569 self hold the responsibility that belongs to 00:01:23.569 --> 00:01:27.659 my present self. I'm coming home. and I thought 00:01:27.659 --> 00:01:31.780 maybe you needed to hear this today too. Hi, 00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:36.340 I'm Kara. I believe every woman carries a vision 00:01:36.340 --> 00:01:39.719 of who she longs to become, and that's no accident. 00:01:41.060 --> 00:01:43.840 Grab your favorite beverage and settle into a 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:47.760 cozy spot because this is that kind of conversation. 00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:52.060 That quiet knowing you're meant for more? It's 00:01:52.060 --> 00:01:54.980 not wishful thinking, but a calling on your heart. 00:01:55.340 --> 00:01:59.859 And every soul calling deserves an answer. Not 00:01:59.859 --> 00:02:05.760 someday, today. Right now. Together, we'll explore 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:09.860 what it really means to be her now. The healing, 00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:15.439 the worthiness, the work, the becoming. Because 00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:18.020 none of us were meant to figure this out on our 00:02:18.020 --> 00:02:21.979 own. Whatever brought you here today, trust it. 00:02:22.860 --> 00:02:26.300 You belong here. Today we're talking about the 00:02:26.300 --> 00:02:30.159 gap. Well, actually two gaps, because I think 00:02:30.159 --> 00:02:32.319 they're connected in a way that we don't talk 00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:36.060 about enough. The first gap is the one I mentioned 00:02:36.060 --> 00:02:39.139 before, the space between knowing and doing. 00:02:40.280 --> 00:02:42.800 Most of us aren't stuck because we lack information. 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:46.699 We know what to eat. We know we should move our 00:02:46.699 --> 00:02:49.699 bodies. We know what a good morning looks like. 00:02:50.379 --> 00:02:53.500 The gap isn't knowledge. It's the distance between 00:02:53.500 --> 00:02:56.639 knowing and actually living it. I want to say 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:59.840 this right up front because this episode isn't 00:02:59.840 --> 00:03:03.000 just about food or health. This applies to all 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:05.860 of it. The savings account you keep meaning to 00:03:05.860 --> 00:03:09.080 build, the business idea that lives in your notes 00:03:09.080 --> 00:03:12.340 app, the procrastination habit you've been meaning 00:03:12.340 --> 00:03:16.620 to leave behind, the creative practice, the relationship 00:03:16.620 --> 00:03:20.699 investment, the morning routine. Whatever your 00:03:20.699 --> 00:03:24.310 thing is, The way we respond to getting off track 00:03:24.310 --> 00:03:27.110 tends to look remarkably similar across all of 00:03:27.110 --> 00:03:30.330 it. So I'm going to tell you my story today, 00:03:30.729 --> 00:03:33.189 and I'm going to ask you to see yourself in it 00:03:33.189 --> 00:03:36.669 wherever you can, because I think we're going 00:03:36.669 --> 00:03:39.969 to find a lot of common ground. The second gap 00:03:39.969 --> 00:03:42.849 is the one I think sits underneath the first. 00:03:43.990 --> 00:03:46.689 That's the gap between the present moment and 00:03:46.689 --> 00:03:49.750 the life we're actually living. When we're disconnected 00:03:49.750 --> 00:03:53.050 from the present, When we are moving mindlessly 00:03:53.050 --> 00:03:55.949 through our days, not really here, not really 00:03:55.949 --> 00:03:58.810 paying attention, it becomes incredibly easy 00:03:58.810 --> 00:04:02.009 to hand our happiness, our health, our becoming 00:04:02.009 --> 00:04:06.870 over to our future self. To say, she'll handle 00:04:06.870 --> 00:04:10.629 it. She'll start Monday. She'll get back on track 00:04:10.629 --> 00:04:13.610 after the holidays, after the busy season, after 00:04:13.610 --> 00:04:17.290 the thing is done. But your future self is just 00:04:17.290 --> 00:04:21.629 your present self with more time past. She doesn't 00:04:21.629 --> 00:04:25.550 have superpowers. She has the same life, the 00:04:25.550 --> 00:04:29.189 same cravings, the same hormones, the same relationship, 00:04:29.629 --> 00:04:32.290 the same everything. Just with a little more 00:04:32.290 --> 00:04:35.750 evidence that waiting doesn't work. That's what 00:04:35.750 --> 00:04:39.870 this episode is about. Coming back to her. Coming 00:04:39.870 --> 00:04:42.610 home. Let me tell you exactly what happens for 00:04:42.610 --> 00:04:45.850 me because I think if I'm specific enough, you 00:04:45.850 --> 00:04:49.750 might actually recognize yourself in it. It always 00:04:49.750 --> 00:04:54.009 starts with a meal. Not a binge, not a dramatic 00:04:54.009 --> 00:04:57.850 decision to quit, just one meal that's off plan. 00:04:59.170 --> 00:05:03.089 And that meal by itself isn't the problem. The 00:05:03.089 --> 00:05:07.189 problem is what it opens. For me, the night at 00:05:07.189 --> 00:05:09.610 the Botanical Gardens was genuinely wonderful. 00:05:10.149 --> 00:05:12.149 My wife and I have historically built a lot of 00:05:12.149 --> 00:05:15.629 our connection around going out. We're both foodies, 00:05:15.949 --> 00:05:19.149 live music lovers, people who light up over a 00:05:19.149 --> 00:05:23.170 new experience together. And I need you to understand 00:05:23.170 --> 00:05:26.670 something about us. We're all in with each other 00:05:26.670 --> 00:05:28.550 and we've learned to temper this when it comes 00:05:28.550 --> 00:05:31.009 to supporting each other's healthy habits, but 00:05:31.009 --> 00:05:33.649 sometimes we just can't help ourselves. We love 00:05:33.649 --> 00:05:36.670 enjoying life together and that night we were 00:05:36.670 --> 00:05:39.670 present and joyful and connected in a way we 00:05:39.670 --> 00:05:43.149 hadn't been in a while. The botanical gardens 00:05:43.149 --> 00:05:46.509 were perfect. We looked nice for each other. 00:05:46.670 --> 00:05:50.290 We were laughing. I didn't want it to end. And 00:05:50.290 --> 00:05:53.009 so I made the suggestion that felt completely 00:05:53.009 --> 00:05:56.110 reasonable in the moment. Let's keep it going. 00:05:56.829 --> 00:06:01.129 The cocktail lounge, enjoying a martini, and 00:06:01.129 --> 00:06:04.069 then right next door because of course Spanish 00:06:04.069 --> 00:06:06.470 tapas is one of our favorite things. They had 00:06:06.470 --> 00:06:10.589 live music playing. It was a really great evening. 00:06:11.189 --> 00:06:12.810 Now here's what I need you to understand about 00:06:12.810 --> 00:06:16.120 me personally as an abstainer. And I only really 00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:18.839 understood what this meant when I started watching 00:06:18.839 --> 00:06:21.779 my wife and how she interacts with food as a 00:06:21.779 --> 00:06:24.579 moderator. Completely differently than I ever 00:06:24.579 --> 00:06:28.399 have. She can have half a cookie, decide it's 00:06:28.399 --> 00:06:30.860 too rich, and leave the other half literally 00:06:30.860 --> 00:06:32.939 sitting on the counter. It's actually happened. 00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:35.879 I've watched her do this with my own two eyes 00:06:35.879 --> 00:06:39.240 and it still boggles my mind. Because I will 00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:42.300 eat my cookie and then I will find her other 00:06:42.300 --> 00:06:46.029 half and eat that too. That's a genuinely true 00:06:46.029 --> 00:06:49.110 story, and it's happened a few times in our relationship. 00:06:49.910 --> 00:06:52.430 I've never once in my life left half a cookie 00:06:52.430 --> 00:06:55.490 on the counter. Neither did any one of my family. 00:06:56.290 --> 00:06:58.750 So when I witnessed this miraculous thing happening 00:06:58.750 --> 00:07:02.129 in my own kitchen, I had to understand it. That's 00:07:02.129 --> 00:07:04.230 when I learned the difference between abstainers 00:07:04.230 --> 00:07:07.209 and moderators, because my wife was living proof 00:07:07.209 --> 00:07:11.029 that some other way existed. Moderators can have 00:07:11.029 --> 00:07:14.339 one bite and move on. Abstainers do way better 00:07:14.339 --> 00:07:17.500 with clear lines. Neither is better or worse. 00:07:17.819 --> 00:07:20.079 They're just different. And knowing which one 00:07:20.079 --> 00:07:22.259 you are is one of the most useful things you 00:07:22.259 --> 00:07:25.540 can learn about yourself. For me, once the gate 00:07:25.540 --> 00:07:29.240 opens, it takes real effort to close it. And 00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:33.439 that night, present, happy, connected, not wanting 00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:36.079 the evening to end, I handed the consequences 00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:39.079 to my future self. She'll handle it. Tonight 00:07:39.079 --> 00:07:42.750 is just for us. January had actually been a really 00:07:42.750 --> 00:07:46.449 strong month. Real, visible results that felt 00:07:46.449 --> 00:07:50.110 encouraging. February is where things slowed 00:07:50.110 --> 00:07:54.149 down, which logically makes perfect sense because 00:07:54.149 --> 00:07:57.329 big results in one month are often followed by 00:07:57.329 --> 00:08:00.449 some kind of plateau. The body recalibrating, 00:08:00.850 --> 00:08:03.569 shifting, doing the quiet internal work that 00:08:03.569 --> 00:08:05.589 doesn't always show up in the mirror right away. 00:08:06.250 --> 00:08:09.709 I know that. But knowing it and feeling it are 00:08:09.709 --> 00:08:13.709 two very different things. And by day 68, I was 00:08:13.709 --> 00:08:16.769 feeling it. And the connection with my wife that 00:08:16.769 --> 00:08:19.129 we'd always nourished over a beautiful meal out, 00:08:19.870 --> 00:08:22.149 well, we were both feeling the absence of that. 00:08:22.750 --> 00:08:27.670 So on day 69, I opened the gate. And then, I 00:08:27.670 --> 00:08:30.370 want to give myself some grace here, I had stopped 00:08:30.370 --> 00:08:32.830 my medication about three days before this happened. 00:08:33.210 --> 00:08:36.210 My doctor had me on a temporary support for several 00:08:36.210 --> 00:08:38.789 weeks to help manage cravings while I built momentum. 00:08:39.690 --> 00:08:42.409 It was always meant to be temporary. The timing 00:08:42.409 --> 00:08:45.169 could have been better because I stopped it right 00:08:45.169 --> 00:08:48.549 as I entered my luteal phase. In perimenopause, 00:08:48.669 --> 00:08:51.990 my luteal phase runs about two weeks. Cravings 00:08:51.990 --> 00:08:55.529 through the roof, emotional, tired, no willpower, 00:08:56.070 --> 00:09:00.269 and now no pharmaceutical buffer. One meal became 00:09:00.269 --> 00:09:05.309 six days. Now. In the past, six days would have 00:09:05.309 --> 00:09:09.009 become six weeks. Six weeks would have become 00:09:09.009 --> 00:09:11.470 three months. And I'd be starting completely 00:09:11.470 --> 00:09:14.590 over, carrying the weight of everything I believed 00:09:14.590 --> 00:09:19.710 I'd undone, full of shame. This time was different, 00:09:20.230 --> 00:09:22.789 but I want to be honest about what those six 00:09:22.789 --> 00:09:25.330 days looked like before I tell you how I'm coming 00:09:25.330 --> 00:09:27.809 back, because I'm not on the other side of this 00:09:27.809 --> 00:09:31.289 yet. I'm very much in it. and I'm recording this 00:09:31.289 --> 00:09:34.490 today as part of my coming home. Here's what 00:09:34.490 --> 00:09:36.649 nobody talks about when they talk about falling 00:09:36.649 --> 00:09:40.529 off track. It's not just the food or the missed 00:09:40.529 --> 00:09:44.830 workouts or the habit that you skipped. It's 00:09:44.830 --> 00:09:47.789 the story that runs underneath it. Mine sounds 00:09:47.789 --> 00:09:52.690 something like this. Day one. It was one night. 00:09:53.110 --> 00:09:57.450 It was worth it. Back on track tomorrow. Day 00:09:57.450 --> 00:10:01.429 two. Well, yesterday wasn't perfect, so today 00:10:01.429 --> 00:10:04.450 doesn't really count either. Fresh start on Monday. 00:10:05.190 --> 00:10:08.190 Day three. I have so much going on right now. 00:10:09.230 --> 00:10:11.590 This is not the best time to be restrictive. 00:10:12.250 --> 00:10:16.909 I'll get back to it when things calm down. Day 00:10:16.909 --> 00:10:21.649 four. I've already undone so much. What's the 00:10:21.649 --> 00:10:26.610 point? And there it is. That last one. That's 00:10:26.610 --> 00:10:29.690 the one that does the real damage. not the food, 00:10:30.129 --> 00:10:33.690 not the missed walk, the story that says you've 00:10:33.690 --> 00:10:38.669 already blown it, so why bother? That story is 00:10:38.669 --> 00:10:42.309 a lie, but it's a very convincing one. And here's 00:10:42.309 --> 00:10:45.129 something I want to add, because it's been one 00:10:45.129 --> 00:10:48.090 of the more significant things I've noticed this 00:10:48.090 --> 00:10:51.409 time around. The morning after that first night, 00:10:51.929 --> 00:10:55.549 I stopped everything. Morning routine, gone. 00:10:55.870 --> 00:11:00.019 Yoga, gone. Movement gone. I stayed up late again. 00:11:01.259 --> 00:11:05.220 All of it just totally fell away. One habit went 00:11:05.220 --> 00:11:08.019 and I watched the others immediately follow. 00:11:08.779 --> 00:11:11.980 But here's what's different now. I watched myself 00:11:11.980 --> 00:11:15.600 do it with a kind of gentle awareness that I 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:18.480 haven't always had. And instead of letting it 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:22.500 become the avalanche it used to be, I very quietly 00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:26.059 started recalibrating. I got myself back to my 00:11:26.059 --> 00:11:29.409 morning routine. I got myself in bed the next 00:11:29.409 --> 00:11:31.629 evening even though I wasn't sleepy just yet. 00:11:32.649 --> 00:11:35.350 Just slowing things back toward where I wanted 00:11:35.350 --> 00:11:40.070 them to be. Now that is huge growth for me. Evidence 00:11:40.070 --> 00:11:42.889 that all the practice I put into releasing all 00:11:42.889 --> 00:11:46.230 or nothing thinking is actually working. Just 00:11:46.230 --> 00:11:49.009 because one habit is out of alignment doesn't 00:11:49.009 --> 00:11:51.370 mean we throw the whole thing out. We do not 00:11:51.370 --> 00:11:53.350 have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. 00:11:53.850 --> 00:11:57.190 And I also know this. There will be another plateau, 00:11:58.529 --> 00:12:02.149 another hard week, another gate that opens. I'm 00:12:02.149 --> 00:12:04.990 human, and I no longer expect myself to be perfect. 00:12:05.730 --> 00:12:08.629 But I do want to be better. And getting myself 00:12:08.629 --> 00:12:12.549 back now isn't just about this moment. It's building 00:12:12.549 --> 00:12:16.350 the muscle for the next time this happens. Every 00:12:16.350 --> 00:12:19.690 return strengthens the pattern. Every coming 00:12:19.690 --> 00:12:23.090 home makes the next one a little faster, a little 00:12:23.090 --> 00:12:26.039 less dramatic. Because here's what's actually 00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:29.639 true. The body doesn't work on a pass -fail system. 00:12:30.639 --> 00:12:33.340 Every single good choice you make is doing something. 00:12:34.139 --> 00:12:37.240 Every glass of water, every walk, every meal 00:12:37.240 --> 00:12:41.440 on plan, they all compound, they accumulate, 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:44.659 and every meal off plan doesn't erase everything. 00:12:45.620 --> 00:12:49.179 It just temporarily shifts the current. Momentum 00:12:49.179 --> 00:12:52.279 works in both directions. It's just as easy to 00:12:52.279 --> 00:12:55.399 build it back, as it was to lose it. Maybe even 00:12:55.399 --> 00:12:58.700 easier because now you know the way home. The 00:12:58.700 --> 00:13:00.620 story that says you've blown it is your nervous 00:13:00.620 --> 00:13:03.139 system trying to protect you from the discomfort 00:13:03.139 --> 00:13:08.500 of starting again. It's not the truth. It's just 00:13:08.500 --> 00:13:11.419 fear, wearing the costume of something that looks 00:13:11.419 --> 00:13:14.460 like logic. And the antidote to that story is 00:13:14.460 --> 00:13:19.139 not willpower. It's presence, coming back to 00:13:19.139 --> 00:13:23.679 right now, this meal, this choice. This moment. 00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:28.759 Not Monday. Now, I want to stay here for a minute 00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:31.659 longer because I think this is the thing so many 00:13:31.659 --> 00:13:36.100 of us carry quietly and never quite name. Underneath 00:13:36.100 --> 00:13:40.220 the story, underneath what's the point, and I've 00:13:40.220 --> 00:13:43.500 already blown it, there's usually something quieter 00:13:43.500 --> 00:13:46.740 and more tender. Something that sounds like, 00:13:47.559 --> 00:13:51.490 do I actually deserve to feel good? And again, 00:13:51.549 --> 00:13:54.330 I'm not just talking about food. I'm talking 00:13:54.330 --> 00:13:57.250 about the savings account, the business, the 00:13:57.250 --> 00:13:59.809 creative practice, the habit you keep starting 00:13:59.809 --> 00:14:03.629 and stopping. Underneath so much of it, if we 00:14:03.629 --> 00:14:08.309 get really honest, is this whisper, am I worthy 00:14:08.309 --> 00:14:12.110 of the life I'm trying to build? Not in a dramatic 00:14:12.110 --> 00:14:16.389 way, not in a conscious belief, more like a hesitation. 00:14:17.610 --> 00:14:20.370 a reaching for the thing that feels like comfort 00:14:20.370 --> 00:14:23.649 because somewhere, some part of us isn't sure 00:14:23.649 --> 00:14:27.389 we're allowed to have the thing that's actually 00:14:27.389 --> 00:14:31.070 good for us. I've spent 25 years coaching women 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:34.389 and I can tell you this is almost always underneath 00:14:34.389 --> 00:14:39.149 it. The gap between knowing and doing is rarely 00:14:39.149 --> 00:14:43.110 about information. It's almost always about worthiness. 00:14:43.710 --> 00:14:47.220 Do I deserve to feel at home in my body? Do I 00:14:47.220 --> 00:14:50.419 deserve the version of my life where I feel well 00:14:50.419 --> 00:14:55.580 and alive and like myself? The answer is yes. 00:14:56.159 --> 00:15:01.039 Absolutely, without condition, yes. Not when 00:15:01.039 --> 00:15:03.740 you've been perfect for 70 days, not when you've 00:15:03.740 --> 00:15:06.000 lost the weight or healed the thyroid or gotten 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:08.899 the degree or built the business or paid the 00:15:08.899 --> 00:15:13.899 debt off. Now, as you are in the middle of the 00:15:13.899 --> 00:15:16.899 mess of a weak where you took your finals and 00:15:16.899 --> 00:15:19.879 started your period and fell off plan and still 00:15:19.879 --> 00:15:23.600 somehow got yourself out for a walk. You deserve 00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:26.759 to feel good, and coming back isn't punishment. 00:15:27.480 --> 00:15:31.279 It's love. It's the most loving thing you can 00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:34.399 do for yourself, not because you failed, but 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:38.779 because you matter. Okay, let's talk about coming 00:15:38.779 --> 00:15:41.639 back, because I want to give you something practical. 00:15:42.029 --> 00:15:44.289 something you can actually use the next time 00:15:44.289 --> 00:15:47.269 you find yourself six days in and wondering how 00:15:47.269 --> 00:15:50.250 you got there. I use what I call my four pillars, 00:15:50.929 --> 00:15:54.629 movement, sleep, hydration, and nourishing my 00:15:54.629 --> 00:15:57.669 body, mind, and spirit. And I want to be clear, 00:15:58.370 --> 00:16:00.529 these aren't just standard to perform against. 00:16:01.289 --> 00:16:04.809 They're a compass. They're a way I know I'm home 00:16:04.809 --> 00:16:07.789 in myself. When I'm living in my four pillars 00:16:07.789 --> 00:16:11.460 consistently, everything else gets easier. My 00:16:11.460 --> 00:16:14.279 mood is steadier. My cravings are quieter. My 00:16:14.279 --> 00:16:18.639 mind is clearer. My body feels like mine. When 00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:22.440 I'm not, when even one of them shifts, I can 00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:26.620 feel the current change. And that shift is information. 00:16:27.100 --> 00:16:30.919 It's not failure. It used to be a dramatic overhaul, 00:16:31.259 --> 00:16:34.159 a punishment, a new protocol, a fresh start that 00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:37.299 felt more like a verdict. Now it starts with 00:16:37.299 --> 00:16:40.289 noticing. and gently replacing one pillar at 00:16:40.289 --> 00:16:43.769 a time with what feels good. Yesterday evening, 00:16:44.210 --> 00:16:46.549 I walked, and I'll do it again this morning. 00:16:47.029 --> 00:16:50.149 That's movement. I've already completed my morning 00:16:50.149 --> 00:16:52.610 routine today, and this afternoon I'm going to 00:16:52.610 --> 00:16:55.490 prep some meals so I have them ready. That's 00:16:55.490 --> 00:16:59.009 nourishing my body, mind, and spirit. I'm going 00:16:59.009 --> 00:17:01.370 to drink my water today, and I'm going to be 00:17:01.370 --> 00:17:04.549 in bed at a reasonable hour. One good day builds 00:17:04.549 --> 00:17:07.950 momentum for the next. One good night of sleep, 00:17:08.450 --> 00:17:12.710 one yoga session, one devotion read. The affirmation 00:17:12.710 --> 00:17:15.730 or prayer said aloud, not because I'm a different 00:17:15.730 --> 00:17:19.309 person on day two, but because I have evidence. 00:17:19.849 --> 00:17:22.630 I did it yesterday and I can do it again today. 00:17:23.769 --> 00:17:27.950 The gap closes one pillar at a time. One meal, 00:17:28.410 --> 00:17:31.569 one walk, one glass of water. You don't have 00:17:31.569 --> 00:17:34.500 to climb the whole mountain today. You just have 00:17:34.500 --> 00:17:37.539 to take one step in the right direction and let 00:17:37.539 --> 00:17:42.920 that be enough. Not Monday, now, in this very 00:17:42.920 --> 00:17:45.700 moment, I want to come back to something I said 00:17:45.700 --> 00:17:48.400 at the beginning about handing our happiness 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:51.839 to our future self. This is something I think 00:17:51.839 --> 00:17:54.940 about a lot in the context of To Be Her Now, 00:17:55.660 --> 00:17:58.619 because the whole premise of this show is that 00:17:58.619 --> 00:18:01.900 she, the woman you're becoming, isn't somewhere 00:18:01.900 --> 00:18:04.519 out there in the future waiting for you to arrive. 00:18:05.220 --> 00:18:08.700 She's here. She's available right now in this 00:18:08.700 --> 00:18:13.200 moment, in this choice. Every time we defer to 00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:16.519 future self, she'll start Monday, she'll handle 00:18:16.519 --> 00:18:19.720 it, she'll get back on track. We're actually 00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:23.319 moving away from her. We're widening that gap. 00:18:24.180 --> 00:18:26.559 And every time we come back to the present moment, 00:18:27.220 --> 00:18:31.079 this meal, this walk, this glass of water, This 00:18:31.079 --> 00:18:35.019 choice. We're embodying her. We're being her 00:18:35.019 --> 00:18:39.059 now. That's not a small thing. That's the whole 00:18:39.059 --> 00:18:43.619 thing. Presence is the practice. Coming back 00:18:43.619 --> 00:18:47.299 again and again and again without shame, without 00:18:47.299 --> 00:18:50.319 drama, without a three -day morning period for 00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:53.380 the week you lost. That's what it actually looks 00:18:53.380 --> 00:18:58.960 like to become her. Not a perfect streak, a consistent 00:18:59.849 --> 00:19:02.630 compounding pattern of returning. Here's what 00:19:02.630 --> 00:19:06.069 I want you to take with you today. If you've 00:19:06.069 --> 00:19:08.990 been in a gap this week, if you've opened a gate, 00:19:09.109 --> 00:19:11.569 you're not sure how to close. If you've handed 00:19:11.569 --> 00:19:14.410 something to your future self that belongs to 00:19:14.410 --> 00:19:17.130 your present self, I want you to know you're 00:19:17.130 --> 00:19:20.869 not behind. You're not broken. You haven't undone 00:19:20.869 --> 00:19:25.529 everything. You're just human. And humans step 00:19:25.529 --> 00:19:28.960 off the path sometimes. The ones who become her 00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:31.599 aren't the ones who never step off. They're the 00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:34.019 ones who know how to come home when they do. 00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:38.880 So here's your one step, just one. Pick one pillar, 00:19:39.460 --> 00:19:43.180 movement, sleep, hydration, nourishment, and 00:19:43.180 --> 00:19:46.960 do one thing today. Not everything, one thing. 00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:50.240 And let that be the first breadcrumb on the way 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:53.720 back. Because your future self doesn't need you 00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:58.000 to be perfect. She needs you to start. or to 00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:02.599 gently keep going. She needs you to do this now. 00:20:03.819 --> 00:20:06.680 Because now is the only thing we actually have 00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:11.400 control over. Not the past, not the future. Just 00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:15.400 now. I'll be back soon with more. Until then, 00:20:16.039 --> 00:20:19.660 be her now. Not someday. Today.