WEBVTT 00:00:00.430 --> 00:00:04.929 I was 35 years old, driving somewhere I don't 00:00:04.929 --> 00:00:09.150 even remember now, when I felt this sudden, almost 00:00:09.150 --> 00:00:12.349 irrational pull to turn down a road I hadn't 00:00:12.349 --> 00:00:16.329 been down in years. I almost didn't do it. I 00:00:16.329 --> 00:00:19.089 remember sitting at that light and this little 00:00:19.089 --> 00:00:23.329 voice saying, you're being crazy. Just keep going. 00:00:24.109 --> 00:00:27.329 But I turned down the road anyway. And as I pulled 00:00:27.329 --> 00:00:30.800 up to the next stoplight, I looked up looked 00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:34.679 around me and there was a car stopped at that 00:00:34.679 --> 00:00:38.619 same light and on its license plate was my name, 00:00:39.340 --> 00:00:43.240 C -A -R -A. I have the photo to prove it. What 00:00:43.240 --> 00:00:46.859 happened next is one of those stories I've told 00:00:46.859 --> 00:00:50.100 a hundred times because it still gives me chills 00:00:50.100 --> 00:00:53.600 every single time and because it didn't just 00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:56.780 change where I lived, it changed everything. 00:00:57.210 --> 00:01:00.909 It's set into motion a season of my life so full 00:01:00.909 --> 00:01:05.310 of growth, of magic, of surrender, that I can 00:01:05.310 --> 00:01:08.829 trace a direct line from that moment to sitting 00:01:08.829 --> 00:01:11.909 here with you right now. That's what we're talking 00:01:11.909 --> 00:01:16.969 about today. The nudge, the knowing, the signs 00:01:16.969 --> 00:01:19.569 that life leaves when it's trying to get your 00:01:19.569 --> 00:01:23.250 attention, and what becomes possible when you 00:01:23.250 --> 00:01:29.319 actually follow them. Hi. I'm Cara. I believe 00:01:29.319 --> 00:01:32.260 every woman carries a vision of who she longs 00:01:32.260 --> 00:01:36.299 to become, and that's no accident. Grab your 00:01:36.299 --> 00:01:39.299 favorite beverage and settle into a cozy spot, 00:01:39.620 --> 00:01:43.859 because this is that kind of conversation. That 00:01:43.859 --> 00:01:46.980 quiet knowing you're meant for more? It's not 00:01:46.980 --> 00:01:49.780 wishful thinking, but a calling on your heart. 00:01:50.400 --> 00:01:54.620 And every soul calling deserves an answer. Not 00:01:54.620 --> 00:02:00.489 someday, today. right now. Together, we'll explore 00:02:00.489 --> 00:02:04.569 what it really means to be her now. The healing, 00:02:05.290 --> 00:02:10.169 the worthiness, the work, the becoming. Because 00:02:10.169 --> 00:02:12.750 none of us were meant to figure this out on our 00:02:12.750 --> 00:02:17.710 own. Whatever brought you here today, trust it. 00:02:18.550 --> 00:02:28.759 You belong here. or welcome for the first time. 00:02:29.439 --> 00:02:32.740 I'm so glad you're here. Today we're talking 00:02:32.740 --> 00:02:36.879 about synchronicity. And before you decide that's 00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:40.560 too woo -woo for you, stay with me. Because I'm 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:43.020 not here to tell you what to believe. I'm here 00:02:43.020 --> 00:02:45.620 to invite you to pay attention to your own life. 00:02:46.300 --> 00:02:49.719 Because I think if you look closely enough, you'll 00:02:49.719 --> 00:02:52.280 find it's been trying to talk to you for a long 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:56.250 time. Synchronicity is a word coined by the psychologist 00:02:56.250 --> 00:03:01.610 Carl Jung. Essentially it's the experience of 00:03:01.610 --> 00:03:04.810 meaningful coincidence. Two things happening 00:03:04.810 --> 00:03:07.770 at the same time that feel connected in a way 00:03:07.770 --> 00:03:10.710 that goes beyond pure chance. But I think it's 00:03:10.710 --> 00:03:13.810 bigger than that definition. I think synchronicity 00:03:13.810 --> 00:03:18.090 is life confirming you're on the right path or 00:03:18.090 --> 00:03:21.370 redirecting you when you're not. Call it God, 00:03:21.750 --> 00:03:26.569 the universe, Source your higher self your intuition 00:03:26.569 --> 00:03:30.409 Whatever language feels true to you. I'm not 00:03:30.409 --> 00:03:33.069 here to tell you what to name it I'm here to 00:03:33.069 --> 00:03:36.090 tell you it's real and it's been speaking to 00:03:36.090 --> 00:03:39.669 you your whole life Most of us have already felt 00:03:39.669 --> 00:03:43.949 it. We just don't always trust it Today, I want 00:03:43.949 --> 00:03:47.689 to change that Before I finish the story I started 00:03:47.689 --> 00:03:50.770 in the beginning. I want to talk about the quieter 00:03:50.770 --> 00:03:55.500 version of how this shows up. Because synchronicity 00:03:55.500 --> 00:03:58.259 doesn't always arrive like a lightning bolt. 00:03:58.979 --> 00:04:01.860 Sometimes it's so subtle, you almost miss it. 00:04:02.379 --> 00:04:05.560 For me, it often shows up as a deep knowing, 00:04:06.360 --> 00:04:09.379 not a feeling exactly, more like a certainty 00:04:09.379 --> 00:04:12.599 that arrives without explanation. Don't take 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:15.780 the road, there will be a train. Don't make that 00:04:15.780 --> 00:04:19.139 decision yet, something is still coming. And 00:04:19.139 --> 00:04:22.279 I cannot tell you how many times I overrode that 00:04:22.279 --> 00:04:26.060 knowing and proved myself wrong. Every single 00:04:26.060 --> 00:04:29.160 time I would take the road, there would be a 00:04:29.160 --> 00:04:33.180 train, both literally and symbolically. There 00:04:33.180 --> 00:04:38.240 was a moment in my early 20s. I was driving and 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:41.180 looked up at the clouds for just a second. And 00:04:41.180 --> 00:04:44.819 out of the corner of my eye, they shifted. In 00:04:44.819 --> 00:04:47.579 my peripheral vision, they looked like mountains. 00:04:48.040 --> 00:04:52.800 And I knew in that instant that I needed to move 00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:55.759 back to Durango, Colorado, that my adventure 00:04:55.759 --> 00:04:58.720 there wasn't finished yet. Something was still 00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:02.860 waiting for me and I did it. I packed up and 00:05:02.860 --> 00:05:05.959 I went back and that season became one of the 00:05:05.959 --> 00:05:09.040 most transformative of my inner life I've ever 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:12.319 had. These nudges don't always come with a neon 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:16.800 sign. Sometimes they come as a flicker, a whisper. 00:05:17.209 --> 00:05:20.170 a feeling in your chest that doesn't have words 00:05:20.170 --> 00:05:22.930 yet. The question isn't whether they're real. 00:05:23.250 --> 00:05:26.689 The question is, are you paying attention? And 00:05:26.689 --> 00:05:30.329 when you feel it, do you trust it? Most of us 00:05:30.329 --> 00:05:34.129 don't, at least not at first, because we've been 00:05:34.129 --> 00:05:37.750 taught to trust logic over instinct, data over 00:05:37.750 --> 00:05:41.509 feelings, other people's opinions over our own 00:05:41.509 --> 00:05:45.470 inner knowing. And so we override the nudge. 00:05:45.790 --> 00:05:50.660 We take the road. we run into the train and file 00:05:50.660 --> 00:05:54.100 it away as just coincidence. But what if it's 00:05:54.100 --> 00:05:58.639 not? I want to back up just a little because 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:00.920 I think there's something important here that's 00:06:00.920 --> 00:06:03.939 easy to miss. I didn't walk into that season 00:06:03.939 --> 00:06:07.699 of my life as someone who followed her gut freely 00:06:07.699 --> 00:06:11.740 and fearlessly. Quite the opposite. And I want 00:06:11.740 --> 00:06:14.500 to continue the story, but I think this is important 00:06:14.500 --> 00:06:18.550 for context. I was raised to be incredibly cautious, 00:06:18.550 --> 00:06:22.670 and I was raised that way out of love, but I 00:06:22.670 --> 00:06:25.990 grew up with fear as my default setting. The 00:06:25.990 --> 00:06:28.610 world was something to be careful of, not something 00:06:28.610 --> 00:06:31.529 to lean into. So when I tell you that in the 00:06:31.529 --> 00:06:34.050 months leading up to that license plate moment, 00:06:34.769 --> 00:06:38.269 I took a solo trip to Seattle, I tried rock climbing, 00:06:39.149 --> 00:06:42.569 I taught myself to play keyboard, I went to a 00:06:42.569 --> 00:06:46.129 concert all alone in St. Louis, began studying 00:06:46.129 --> 00:06:48.910 personal growth and spirituality with real intention. 00:06:49.449 --> 00:06:52.029 I need you to understand what that meant for 00:06:52.029 --> 00:06:55.870 me. Those were not small things. For the girl 00:06:55.870 --> 00:06:59.089 who learned to hide when the doorbell rang, these 00:06:59.089 --> 00:07:02.870 were enormous. I had started opening my life, 00:07:03.490 --> 00:07:08.329 quietly, steadily, one brave yes at a time. I 00:07:08.329 --> 00:07:10.310 had started living in conscious communion with 00:07:10.310 --> 00:07:13.610 something much bigger than myself, holding reverence, 00:07:13.819 --> 00:07:17.360 staying in this constant conversation, feeling 00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:19.920 into my life instead of just moving through it. 00:07:20.519 --> 00:07:23.620 And I think that's why the signs started showing 00:07:23.620 --> 00:07:26.740 up so clearly. Not because the universe suddenly 00:07:26.740 --> 00:07:29.860 decided to pay attention to me, but because I 00:07:29.860 --> 00:07:33.399 had finally gotten quiet and open enough to receive 00:07:33.399 --> 00:07:37.199 what had probably been there all along. You can't 00:07:37.199 --> 00:07:40.500 follow a flow you've never stepped into. So if 00:07:40.500 --> 00:07:42.459 you're sitting there thinking, okay, that's a 00:07:42.459 --> 00:07:45.339 neat story, but My life isn't sending me license 00:07:45.339 --> 00:07:49.160 plates. I want to gently ask you, are you open? 00:07:49.879 --> 00:07:53.600 Are you moving? Are you saying yes to the small 00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:56.439 things that scare you just a little? Because 00:07:56.439 --> 00:08:00.779 I think that's where it starts. But with a small, 00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:05.319 brave yes. And then another. And then another. 00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:09.560 And then one day you look up at a stoplight and 00:08:09.560 --> 00:08:13.100 you see your name. Okay. Let's go back to that 00:08:13.100 --> 00:08:18.379 stoplight. It was early January in 2015. I'd 00:08:18.379 --> 00:08:20.560 been staying with my mom for a couple of months 00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:24.259 in between living situations, in between a lot 00:08:24.259 --> 00:08:28.560 of things, honestly. I was driving and I genuinely 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:31.879 don't remember where I was going, but out of 00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:35.860 nowhere I felt this pull, this strong, very specific 00:08:35.860 --> 00:08:38.740 urge to go visit an old apartment complex I'd 00:08:38.740 --> 00:08:41.679 lived in a few years before. This wasn't just 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:44.559 any apartment. The location had been perfect. 00:08:45.259 --> 00:08:47.879 It was tucked at the back of a property overlooking 00:08:47.879 --> 00:08:50.960 this big green belt with the most incredible 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:54.360 sunsets. And it also wasn't crazy fancy either. 00:08:54.360 --> 00:08:57.179 It was pretty dated, but it was cozy. It was 00:08:57.179 --> 00:09:00.539 just the right size. It was on the second floor, 00:09:01.059 --> 00:09:03.580 quiet, and it was convenient to everything that 00:09:03.580 --> 00:09:08.200 I needed. I also had a history there. I had dated 00:09:08.200 --> 00:09:11.250 someone while I lived there. And it had been 00:09:11.250 --> 00:09:13.289 kind of a complicated season. There was a lot 00:09:13.289 --> 00:09:17.549 of emotion. And I had this feeling, I can't explain 00:09:17.549 --> 00:09:20.710 it any other way, that I just wasn't done there, 00:09:21.070 --> 00:09:24.789 that something was unfinished. So I followed 00:09:24.789 --> 00:09:28.690 it. I turned toward the complex. And as I approached 00:09:28.690 --> 00:09:31.669 the light, that moment I told you about in the 00:09:31.669 --> 00:09:34.529 beginning, I started to second guess myself. 00:09:35.230 --> 00:09:40.090 Am I being crazy? What am I even doing? and I 00:09:40.090 --> 00:09:42.549 looked up and the car stopped at the light next 00:09:42.549 --> 00:09:46.309 to me at a personalized license plate that said 00:09:46.309 --> 00:09:51.289 Kara. My name. I took a photo because even in 00:09:51.289 --> 00:09:54.870 that moment I knew that this is real and I need 00:09:54.870 --> 00:09:58.289 to remember this. I went ahead and turned down 00:09:58.289 --> 00:10:01.409 the road and pulled into the complex. I walked 00:10:01.409 --> 00:10:03.809 into the office and the attendant called from 00:10:03.809 --> 00:10:06.889 the back room that she'd be right with me. When 00:10:06.889 --> 00:10:09.830 she came out, I asked if she had anything available 00:10:09.830 --> 00:10:12.149 at the back of the property overlooking the green 00:10:12.149 --> 00:10:14.710 belt. I told her I wasn't interested in anything 00:10:14.710 --> 00:10:17.769 except for that. She said she thought she actually 00:10:17.769 --> 00:10:21.230 did, and as she walked back to check, she muttered 00:10:21.230 --> 00:10:23.970 almost totally to herself that she thought it 00:10:23.970 --> 00:10:26.889 was in a specific building number. It was the 00:10:26.889 --> 00:10:29.549 building I used to live in. And in that moment, 00:10:29.789 --> 00:10:34.029 before she even came back out, I knew. I just 00:10:34.029 --> 00:10:37.379 knew it was my old apartment. She came back and 00:10:37.379 --> 00:10:42.519 told me the unit. It was apartment 3524, my exact 00:10:42.519 --> 00:10:45.879 apartment. I will never forget that moment. I 00:10:45.879 --> 00:10:48.519 told her I'd take it on the spot, no tour needed. 00:10:49.100 --> 00:10:50.919 I didn't have a checkbook with me that I knew 00:10:50.919 --> 00:10:54.500 of. So I went out to my car and dug through my 00:10:54.500 --> 00:10:56.960 glove compartment, which at that point in my 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:01.179 life, we will say was very lived in and found 00:11:01.179 --> 00:11:04.679 an old checkbook tucked in the back of the glove 00:11:04.679 --> 00:11:08.860 box. the address printed on the checks was still 00:11:08.860 --> 00:11:13.019 that apartment address. I wrote her a check right 00:11:13.019 --> 00:11:16.580 then and there, and I moved in very shortly after. 00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:20.379 Now, you can call that coincidence if you want, 00:11:21.080 --> 00:11:25.799 but I never have been able to because every single 00:11:25.799 --> 00:11:29.700 element, the pull I felt, the doubt that crept 00:11:29.700 --> 00:11:33.559 in, the confirmation at the stoplight, the knowing 00:11:33.559 --> 00:11:36.710 before she spoke, The address on the checks. 00:11:37.250 --> 00:11:41.590 It all lined up way too perfectly. Too specifically. 00:11:42.330 --> 00:11:45.190 Something was making absolute sure I didn't miss 00:11:45.190 --> 00:11:49.730 it. That is synchronicity. That's the flow of 00:11:49.730 --> 00:11:53.570 your life trying to guide you home. And that 00:11:53.570 --> 00:11:56.450 was just the beginning. Here's what I want you 00:11:56.450 --> 00:11:59.529 to understand about following a nudge. It rarely 00:11:59.529 --> 00:12:03.649 leads to just one thing. It leads to the next 00:12:03.649 --> 00:12:07.710 right thing. and the next, which lead you to 00:12:07.710 --> 00:12:10.789 the next right thing. Like a trail of breadcrumbs 00:12:10.789 --> 00:12:13.629 laid out by something that can see so much further 00:12:13.629 --> 00:12:18.529 down the road than you can. It opens up to so 00:12:18.529 --> 00:12:23.169 much more than that one initial feeling. Watching 00:12:23.169 --> 00:12:26.190 the sunsets over that green belt I had always 00:12:26.190 --> 00:12:30.049 loved. I started meditating regularly. I started 00:12:30.049 --> 00:12:33.629 a gratitude practice. I decided to mark the new 00:12:33.629 --> 00:12:36.679 beginning by doing something I'd never done before. 00:12:37.259 --> 00:12:41.059 A week -long juice feast. Just fruits and vegetables, 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:43.779 nothing else for what turned out to be 10 days. 00:12:44.200 --> 00:12:47.120 Though I let my body decide how long I would 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:51.440 go. Was it a little extreme? Yeah, maybe. But 00:12:51.440 --> 00:12:53.720 my body responded like it had been waiting for 00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:56.720 exactly that for a very long time and healed 00:12:56.720 --> 00:13:00.159 in a way I hadn't expected. Another nudge followed. 00:13:00.820 --> 00:13:04.279 Then one day, another whim, another pull. I bought 00:13:04.279 --> 00:13:07.179 a pair of hiking boots. I hadn't been a hiker. 00:13:07.659 --> 00:13:10.000 I wasn't even really outdoorsy in that way, but 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:13.399 something said to get them, so I did. And before 00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:16.539 I'd even worn them once, I posted a picture about 00:13:16.539 --> 00:13:20.120 them on my Instagram. That post led to a friend 00:13:20.120 --> 00:13:23.279 reaching out to invite me on a week long hiking 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:26.940 trip to Big Bend National Park. Now, as I mentioned, 00:13:27.019 --> 00:13:29.899 I was not a risk taker in that way. This was 00:13:29.899 --> 00:13:32.919 not the kind of thing I said yes to. A week in 00:13:32.919 --> 00:13:35.679 the wilderness, primitive camping, I might add. 00:13:36.019 --> 00:13:39.879 So no restrooms, no running water, no electric. 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:43.059 Some of the most remote terrain in the country 00:13:43.059 --> 00:13:46.840 with someone I hadn't seen or hung out with in 00:13:46.840 --> 00:13:50.919 about a decade. The old me would have found a 00:13:50.919 --> 00:13:54.980 very polite way to decline. But I said yes. And 00:13:54.980 --> 00:13:59.740 it was one of the most magical experiences of 00:13:59.740 --> 00:14:02.460 my entire life. I'd been working on a practice 00:14:02.460 --> 00:14:06.019 during that season, trying to make my very first 00:14:06.019 --> 00:14:10.259 waking thought each morning right into consciousness. 00:14:11.139 --> 00:14:14.740 Simply, thank you. Just gratitude before anything 00:14:14.740 --> 00:14:17.919 else, before the to -do list, before the worry, 00:14:17.980 --> 00:14:22.179 before the phone. Just thank you. I hadn't quite 00:14:22.179 --> 00:14:25.899 nailed it yet. And then on the last morning, 00:14:26.379 --> 00:14:30.080 camped in the Chisos Mountains, I woke up. And 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:33.519 my first thought was thank you. I lay there in 00:14:33.519 --> 00:14:37.159 my sleeping bag in the mountains and just received 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:41.299 it. That moment still lives in me. When I got 00:14:41.299 --> 00:14:45.519 home, I started hiking everywhere. I discovered 00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:48.240 that the green belt behind my apartment was actually 00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:51.720 a park with trails. I'd access it through a gap 00:14:51.720 --> 00:14:54.360 in the fence where the posts were missing. my 00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:56.860 own secret entrance to something beautiful that 00:14:56.860 --> 00:14:59.539 had been right there the whole time and I'd had 00:14:59.539 --> 00:15:03.279 no idea. One night I was sitting on the balcony 00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:08.460 when I heard this rhythmic thundering from the 00:15:08.460 --> 00:15:11.759 bushes below just outside the fence line. It 00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:15.899 got louder and the bushes began to shake and 00:15:15.899 --> 00:15:21.379 rustle really violently. I froze. I couldn't 00:15:21.379 --> 00:15:25.830 move for a full minute. and then out walked a 00:15:25.830 --> 00:15:30.590 stag. He was enormous, nearly the height of the 00:15:30.590 --> 00:15:34.330 fence, and he just walked out of the dark and 00:15:34.330 --> 00:15:38.230 stood there. I don't have words for what that 00:15:38.230 --> 00:15:43.090 felt like, but it felt like confirmation, like 00:15:43.090 --> 00:15:46.889 nature itself showing up to say, you're exactly 00:15:46.889 --> 00:15:50.289 where you're supposed to be. And then one night, 00:15:50.990 --> 00:15:54.740 sitting with all of that aliveness, I had a conversation 00:15:54.740 --> 00:15:58.600 out loud with God and I said something I meant 00:15:58.600 --> 00:16:03.200 with every fiber of my being. I am terrible at 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:06.379 finding the right match for myself. I give up. 00:16:06.759 --> 00:16:09.860 I'm turning this over to you entirely. You handle 00:16:09.860 --> 00:16:12.940 it and I will be down here working on myself. 00:16:13.419 --> 00:16:16.820 It was this moment of complete and total surrender 00:16:16.820 --> 00:16:22.889 in a way I had not felt before. Not defeat. But 00:16:22.889 --> 00:16:25.929 surrender and there's a big difference Defeat 00:16:25.929 --> 00:16:30.789 says I can't do this Surrender says I trust you 00:16:30.789 --> 00:16:33.690 more than I trust my own navigation on this one. 00:16:34.129 --> 00:16:37.309 So I'm handing it to you a Friend forwarded me 00:16:37.309 --> 00:16:40.389 one of those old chain messages because remember 00:16:40.389 --> 00:16:43.450 those it was kind of near the start of Facebook 00:16:43.450 --> 00:16:47.750 Messenger and so it was in virtual form and This 00:16:47.750 --> 00:16:50.889 one was about Archangel Michael about turning 00:16:50.889 --> 00:16:54.559 over your life completely to be revamped. And 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:57.240 it was just on the heels of this moment of out 00:16:57.240 --> 00:17:00.539 loud surrender. And it was about trusting the 00:17:00.539 --> 00:17:03.940 process of transformation, even when you can't 00:17:03.940 --> 00:17:06.859 see where it's going. And so I said yes to this 00:17:06.859 --> 00:17:11.539 too. And literally in less than 24 hours, I met 00:17:11.539 --> 00:17:14.980 my wife. I have to tell you the story because 00:17:14.980 --> 00:17:19.059 it is the most perfect illustration of what surrender 00:17:19.059 --> 00:17:22.630 actually looks like in real life. I was working 00:17:22.630 --> 00:17:26.329 at an organic grocery store and one evening a 00:17:26.329 --> 00:17:29.309 musician came in to play a gig, which wasn't 00:17:29.309 --> 00:17:32.230 unusual at all. But the moment she walked through 00:17:32.230 --> 00:17:36.930 that door, I felt something, this enormous spark 00:17:36.930 --> 00:17:40.990 out of nowhere. I was standing next to a coworker 00:17:40.990 --> 00:17:43.130 who knew me well enough to know that what happened 00:17:43.130 --> 00:17:45.990 next was completely out of character for me. 00:17:46.369 --> 00:17:49.589 But I, while staring at this gorgeous woman, 00:17:49.710 --> 00:17:53.250 said, And I'm not proud of how this came out. 00:17:53.769 --> 00:17:58.329 Dibs. I felt my coworker's slow head turn toward 00:17:58.329 --> 00:18:02.390 me. Totally shocked. And I was so embarrassed, 00:18:02.690 --> 00:18:05.210 I disappeared into the office for the next hour. 00:18:05.990 --> 00:18:09.289 But then, once she was set up, this musician 00:18:09.289 --> 00:18:13.430 started playing. And she played every song I 00:18:13.430 --> 00:18:16.910 would have put on a mixtape. Every single song 00:18:16.910 --> 00:18:20.759 felt like it came from inside my own head. Like 00:18:20.759 --> 00:18:25.200 she was playing back My life to me through music 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:28.400 that evening. I had a text conversation with 00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:31.539 my best friend and I told her I had met this 00:18:31.539 --> 00:18:36.140 gorgeous musician I Described how I felt when 00:18:36.140 --> 00:18:40.180 she walked in I talked about The music being 00:18:40.180 --> 00:18:42.500 something that my best friend and I would have 00:18:42.500 --> 00:18:48.359 put on mixed tapes And I didn't describe her 00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:51.269 beyond that at all No physical description, no 00:18:51.269 --> 00:18:55.230 specifics, just that. The very next morning, 00:18:55.589 --> 00:18:58.789 I was sitting on my couch, drinking my coffee, 00:18:59.329 --> 00:19:02.490 and my best friend sends me a message on Instagram. 00:19:03.069 --> 00:19:07.250 And it's a video of this woman, whose name I 00:19:07.250 --> 00:19:09.849 did not know, whose description my best friend 00:19:09.849 --> 00:19:13.769 did not have, playing music at a farmer's market. 00:19:14.569 --> 00:19:17.670 My best friend had found her completely independently. 00:19:18.059 --> 00:19:21.700 and sent her to me with the question, is this 00:19:21.700 --> 00:19:24.660 her? You literally can't make this stuff up. 00:19:26.339 --> 00:19:29.740 So here I have three confirmations of sorts. 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:34.640 The spark, the music, my friend's DM in less 00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:38.799 than 24 hours. This musician kept coming in for 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.319 gigs here and there, and eventually we started 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:45.039 interacting a bit. We texted some because I asked 00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:48.940 her to... participate in a fundraiser I was organizing 00:19:48.940 --> 00:19:51.220 for an organization that my company supported. 00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:54.480 And eventually through this series of interactions, 00:19:55.220 --> 00:19:58.500 we hung out in person for the first time. And 00:19:58.500 --> 00:20:03.980 shortly after a meeting or two, I went on the 00:20:03.980 --> 00:20:08.839 Big Ben trip I mentioned. When I came home, I 00:20:08.839 --> 00:20:12.920 went to my now wife's birthday party just as 00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:16.529 a friend and watched her play a gig. And that 00:20:16.529 --> 00:20:19.269 was sort of our first real introduction into 00:20:19.269 --> 00:20:22.210 being in each other's lives, very much still 00:20:22.210 --> 00:20:26.329 as friends at this point, but with this deep 00:20:26.329 --> 00:20:29.869 pull to just know one another better. Eventually 00:20:29.869 --> 00:20:34.529 one thing led to another and we were about to 00:20:34.529 --> 00:20:38.890 go out on our first real date. And just before 00:20:38.890 --> 00:20:43.430 I'm about to step into this next level of intimacy 00:20:43.430 --> 00:20:49.190 with my now good friend, I lost my job. In any 00:20:49.190 --> 00:20:51.569 other season of my life, that would have felt 00:20:51.569 --> 00:20:55.769 like total devastation. But I had just surrendered 00:20:55.769 --> 00:20:59.549 several months earlier. I had just said, take 00:20:59.549 --> 00:21:02.789 everything that doesn't belong, revamp it all, 00:21:02.910 --> 00:21:07.250 I trust you. And so instead of devastation, what 00:21:07.250 --> 00:21:10.750 I felt was something closer to, okay, something 00:21:10.750 --> 00:21:14.359 is making room. And so instead of going home 00:21:14.359 --> 00:21:18.460 and sulking and worrying, I went on a hike. And 00:21:18.460 --> 00:21:23.400 I just sat in the possibility that this not knowing 00:21:23.400 --> 00:21:27.819 what's next held. Everything that didn't belong 00:21:27.819 --> 00:21:32.339 had to crumble to make space for what did. And 00:21:32.339 --> 00:21:37.119 my wife and I, fortunately for me, when I shared 00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:41.180 with her that I had lost my job, she did not 00:21:41.180 --> 00:21:44.240 waver. And we have been together ever since. 00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:47.839 But the thread continues. And here's the part 00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:49.779 that still takes my breath away when I think 00:21:49.779 --> 00:21:54.859 about it. The job that I got after the one I 00:21:54.859 --> 00:21:59.420 lost was in banking. Now, not exactly where you'd 00:21:59.420 --> 00:22:03.160 expect this story to go, but somehow following 00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:06.359 nudge after nudge, one brave yes at a time, I 00:22:06.359 --> 00:22:10.759 found myself in the position in a very corporate 00:22:10.970 --> 00:22:14.250 very structured banking environment to be able 00:22:14.250 --> 00:22:19.490 to teach success principles and life skills and 00:22:19.490 --> 00:22:23.369 healthy coping practices to an entire line of 00:22:23.369 --> 00:22:28.210 business of 203 people. The same principles that 00:22:28.210 --> 00:22:31.230 I would eventually use to build this podcast 00:22:31.230 --> 00:22:34.970 around. To Be Her Now didn't start when I hit 00:22:34.970 --> 00:22:38.589 record for the first time. It started in that 00:22:38.589 --> 00:22:43.220 conference room at a bank. which started with 00:22:43.220 --> 00:22:47.119 the hiking boots, which started with the apartment, 00:22:47.700 --> 00:22:51.460 which started with a license plate at a red light 00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:56.680 that said my name. Your life has a thread and 00:22:56.680 --> 00:23:00.460 it has been weaving something whole this entire 00:23:00.460 --> 00:23:04.900 time, even in the seasons that felt like unraveling. 00:23:05.299 --> 00:23:08.640 I wonder, can you see it? When you look back, 00:23:08.809 --> 00:23:12.710 Can you trace even sections of that thread if 00:23:12.710 --> 00:23:14.829 the rest of the piece hasn't come together just 00:23:14.829 --> 00:23:18.130 yet? Okay, I want to give you something real 00:23:18.130 --> 00:23:21.390 to take with you because this isn't just a beautiful 00:23:21.390 --> 00:23:24.910 idea, it's a practice. And like any practice, 00:23:24.950 --> 00:23:28.210 it gets stronger the more you use it. So how 00:23:28.210 --> 00:23:31.930 do you recognize a sign versus fear or wishful 00:23:31.930 --> 00:23:35.910 thinking? Fear has a frantic energy. It's loud, 00:23:36.609 --> 00:23:40.420 contracted, urgent. It wants you to move away 00:23:40.420 --> 00:23:43.119 from something. And that's probably the biggest 00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:46.440 indicator you're operating from fear. Wishful 00:23:46.440 --> 00:23:50.420 thinking has a grasping quality. It's attached 00:23:50.420 --> 00:23:54.339 to a specific outcome. It's quieter, more settled. 00:23:55.079 --> 00:23:57.559 It doesn't need you to do anything dramatic. 00:23:57.799 --> 00:24:03.559 It just points. It's less run and more turn here. 00:24:04.200 --> 00:24:06.380 And oftentimes it comes with a confirmation. 00:24:06.829 --> 00:24:09.349 something outside of you that echoes what you 00:24:09.349 --> 00:24:13.230 already feel inside. Pay attention to those confirmations. 00:24:13.309 --> 00:24:17.049 They are not accidents. So how do you quiet the 00:24:17.049 --> 00:24:20.789 noise and hear your intuition? Intuition doesn't 00:24:20.789 --> 00:24:24.849 shout. It speaks in the quiet, in the shower, 00:24:25.210 --> 00:24:28.750 on a walk, in that half -awake space before your 00:24:28.750 --> 00:24:31.990 brain fully powers on in the morning, on a hike, 00:24:32.509 --> 00:24:36.279 in prayer, in meditation, in stillness. If you're 00:24:36.279 --> 00:24:39.940 not creating any quiet in your day, that's the 00:24:39.940 --> 00:24:42.599 perfect place to start. Not because you're doing 00:24:42.599 --> 00:24:47.359 anything wrong, but because she, the woman you 00:24:47.359 --> 00:24:50.839 long to become, can't get a word in if you never 00:24:50.839 --> 00:24:55.500 stop moving. Give her some space. She has a lot 00:24:55.500 --> 00:24:58.839 more to say than you think. Now here's what to 00:24:58.839 --> 00:25:01.319 do when you get a nudge, but you feel totally 00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:05.519 crazy for following it. Follow it anyway. Start 00:25:05.519 --> 00:25:09.380 small if you need to. Turn down the road. Buy 00:25:09.380 --> 00:25:12.140 the hiking boots. Post about them before you've 00:25:12.140 --> 00:25:15.140 even worn them. Say yes to the wilderness trip, 00:25:15.319 --> 00:25:18.019 even though it scares you. You don't have to 00:25:18.019 --> 00:25:21.079 have a plan. You just have to take the next step 00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:24.599 that feels true. And then, notice what happens. 00:25:25.220 --> 00:25:27.960 Because when you're flowing with the current 00:25:27.960 --> 00:25:32.380 of your own life, things tend to line up. Not 00:25:32.380 --> 00:25:35.980 always perfectly or immediately. But there's 00:25:35.980 --> 00:25:39.799 a quality of ease. One thing leading naturally 00:25:39.799 --> 00:25:42.900 to the next. When you're going against the grain, 00:25:43.500 --> 00:25:47.000 things tend to feel forced. Like you're pushing 00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:50.559 a door that isn't meant to open. Your life has 00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:54.279 a current. You can swim against it or you can 00:25:54.279 --> 00:25:57.859 learn to flow with it. One feels very exhausting 00:25:57.859 --> 00:26:01.339 and the other feels like grace. So how do you 00:26:01.339 --> 00:26:03.980 see the thread when you're looking back? over 00:26:03.980 --> 00:26:06.920 your life. I want to invite you to do something 00:26:06.920 --> 00:26:10.119 after this episode. Sit down somewhere quiet 00:26:10.119 --> 00:26:13.460 and trace the thread of your own life. Think 00:26:13.460 --> 00:26:16.099 about the moments that changed everything, the 00:26:16.099 --> 00:26:18.460 decision that didn't make logical sense but turned 00:26:18.460 --> 00:26:22.019 out to be exactly right, the thing you almost 00:26:22.019 --> 00:26:25.819 didn't do, the road you almost didn't turn down. 00:26:26.460 --> 00:26:29.460 Can you see the way your life has been quietly, 00:26:29.740 --> 00:26:32.839 consistently moving you towards something? The 00:26:32.839 --> 00:26:37.279 way Even the painful seasons had some something 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:40.799 in them that you needed for where you are now. 00:26:41.319 --> 00:26:45.900 That's not an accident. That's not luck. That's 00:26:45.900 --> 00:26:48.259 you in collaboration with something bigger than 00:26:48.259 --> 00:26:51.819 you living a life that has always been on its 00:26:51.819 --> 00:26:56.940 way somewhere. Trust that. Follow that. Be curious 00:26:56.940 --> 00:27:00.400 about that. She's been guiding you all along. 00:27:01.140 --> 00:27:04.309 I want to leave you with something to carry into 00:27:04.309 --> 00:27:07.910 your week. The next time you feel a nudge, a 00:27:07.910 --> 00:27:11.450 pull, a knowing, a whisper that doesn't quite 00:27:11.450 --> 00:27:14.930 make logical sense, pause before you override 00:27:14.930 --> 00:27:19.769 it. Just pause. Ask yourself, is this fear talking 00:27:19.769 --> 00:27:23.210 or is this something deeper? And if it feels 00:27:23.210 --> 00:27:27.029 like something deeper, follow it, even just a 00:27:27.029 --> 00:27:31.019 little. I know some of us have kids or we have 00:27:31.019 --> 00:27:33.519 other people relying on us and so it doesn't 00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:37.019 feel like we can make big leaps and that's okay. 00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:40.180 Just look at the little ways that you can turn 00:27:40.180 --> 00:27:43.500 down the road and see what's at the next light. 00:27:44.140 --> 00:27:47.000 Because here's what I know to be true. The life 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:49.660 you are meant to live is not hiding from you. 00:27:50.220 --> 00:27:54.619 It is actively, creatively, sometimes hilariously 00:27:54.619 --> 00:27:57.900 trying to get your attention. It will put your 00:27:57.900 --> 00:28:01.960 name on a license plate if it has to. It will 00:28:01.960 --> 00:28:05.420 send your best friend a video of the woman you're 00:28:05.420 --> 00:28:08.339 going to marry. It will leave your old address 00:28:08.339 --> 00:28:12.279 on a checkbook in a messy glove compartment just 00:28:12.279 --> 00:28:14.960 to make sure you don't miss it. You are being 00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:19.059 guided. You always have been. Whatever brought 00:28:19.059 --> 00:28:23.740 you here today, trust it. You belong here. Until 00:28:23.740 --> 00:28:28.619 next time, be her now. Not someday, today.