Hi, I'm Kara Sutterfield and this is my podcast.
After over 20 years of leading one -on -one and
group coaching in professional settings, I developed
a passion for helping other women uncover who
they long to become and how to live into that
vision of self today. Let's deep dive into this
profound exploration together, discover how best
to embody the highest version of ourselves, and
take action in this present moment. To Be Her
Now. Hello and welcome back to To Be Her Now.
I am Cara and today we're going to talk about
routines and specifically morning routines and
evening routines. To me, this is such an important
key to setting yourself up properly for a great
day, for a great sleep, to make sure that the
things that are very important to you are accomplished
in a day and both really set the tone for the
energy that you're going to receive. If I've
said it once, I've said it a thousand times.
I am absolutely a recovering all or nothing kind
of person and it's an active moment to moment
conscious effort to not be all or nothing in
everything I do. And my morning routine has been
no different over the years. I have had some
of the most rigid, scheduled, intense, complicated,
involved morning routines that I have tried,
which of course did not last because nobody has
time for that. And I have had seasons where I've
had pretty much no routine other than I wake
up, I make my coffee, and I spend a few minutes
just quietly sipping on it. And I think both
have a time and place depending on the season
you're in in life. depending on the season of
the year and depending on what it is that you
want your morning or night routine to accomplish
for you. So let's start there and let's start
with morning routines. I think the best place
to begin is what do you want to gain from the
routine you're putting in place? Are you wanting
more me time? Are you wanting connectedness with
yourself, your partner, or God? Are you wanting
to bring more positivity into your life? Are
you wanting to instill a sense of calm or peace
into your day? Do you want more energy in your
day? More vibrancy? Are you looking to be more
organized? To gain clarity? To walk into your
day feeling informed? Or are you just needing
to wake up in a state that feels ready rather
than scrambling? There's a lot of different things
that you can accomplish with your morning routine.
And once you have an idea of what it is you want
to extract from it, whether it's any of those
things I just listed or some combination of them
or something completely different that has not
occurred to me, and if you have something different
please tell me because I'm always looking for
some exciting way to spice up my morning routine,
once we have in mind what we're going after we
can select specific activities that help to meet
that need. So there was a time when I would try
to tackle everything at once and I'm not at all
exaggerating. I have had morning routines that
in action I realized later were taking two to
three hours and while I would genuinely uphold
them for at least a month or two there's just
no way that that was going to last on a regular
basis. So once you know what you want to extract
I think it's also very important to be realistic.
If you don't currently have time for a morning
routine, if you are waking up to your alarm,
turning it off, going straight to get ready for
the day, and moving on to your day, then the
first place to start is probably with your wake
up time. Now, if you are working three jobs,
you're getting four hours of sleep a night and
you can't possibly fathom waking up any earlier,
then you're not in the season of life for a morning
routine. And more power to you and God bless
you and I'm just sending you all the strong coffee
vibes. There are times in life when adding one
more thing or one more stressor to quote unquote
be better is actually just detrimental because
it's too much pressure, it's too little sleep,
it's just not the right time. So honor where
you're at and do the best you can and know when
something is not the right timing for you. If
it is your time for a morning routine and you
don't currently have the time for it, then maybe
we start with waking up 15 minutes earlier. Do
that for a week or two then add another 15 minutes
earlier. If you're someone who can just set the
alarm for an additional hour earlier and have
an hour for yourself, Awesome. Go for it. I tend
to do better working my way to an earlier hour
and adjusting my routine slowly. So pick whatever
is best for you. But the goal would be to create
more time in the morning so that you can establish
some sort of intentionality to the start of your
day. If your goal is just more me time. Then
maybe you just create a space where you go each
day a comfortable seat in your house, a special
room that's away from everyone else, and enjoy
a morning beverage or just sit quietly for a
little bit. We are so starved for quiet downtime
for our brains that just being intentional to
wake up 15 minutes early and be conscious in
the quiet can have such benefit for us. If you're
wanting to go beyond that, then maybe there's
some other activities we can add. There's really
awesome books on the topic of morning routines.
A simple search on the internet will pull up
lots of ideas for activities you can do in a
morning routine. One book in particular that
I read, gosh, maybe a decade ago now, is called
The Miracle Morning. by Hal Elrod and even in
that one he names several activities that you
can do every morning that are built around research
that shows that you'll be more positive more
focused more productive all the things but even
his morning takes an hour and so if you don't
have that kind of time or you don't have the
ability to make that kind of time yet just do
what you can do with any and all of these ideas.
You might invite reading a devotion or praying
first thing in the morning into your day to help
create a sense of connectedness to God so that
you're moving forward with a sense of spiritual
intention. If you have a spouse or a partner
and you find that you don't have a lot of time
for quality time, whether you're in a season
with kids or with work, maybe you commit together
to waking up earlier and sitting down to enjoy
a cup of coffee or tea together. to create that
connectedness together or if you're on your own
just spending that time in silence like we've
said to create that connectedness with yourself
can be so beneficial. You might consider adopting
a gratitude practice or meditation or breath
work or yoga all of which could feed positivity
or a sense of calm and peace in your day and
with these practices if you're anything like
me when you hear meditation or you hear yoga
your brain is automatically thinking, I'm going
to carve out 30 minutes to go do this activity
and gosh, drive time for that. And how am I going
to make that time when the reality is five minutes
of any given activity is leaps and bounds more
than the zero minutes you're currently doing.
So just the intention of sitting down with an
activity that is meant to fuel you in a particular
way for five minutes is going to have a strong
impact on your morning, on your mental state,
and on your day. If you are someone who desires
more energy in your day or is working on your
health and fitness Then maybe in the mornings
you're carving out time to do a workout, to eat
a healthy breakfast. Maybe you plan or prepare
your day in some way whether it's preparing your
lunch or writing out your schedule for the day
so that you can wrap your mind around it and
be prepared and have a sense of a plan. Maybe
you're seeking clarity in your life and so you
carve out some time to sit down with your morning
beverage and just journal and think through the
topics. to free write, to just allow yourself
to get to know what's going on in your mind and
in your thoughts so that you can have a clear
way forward. And if you're someone who would
benefit from being informed, and I approach this
one with caution because I know I'm very vocal
about protecting your data sphere and being careful
about the types of information you allow in.
But there are careers and people with a desire
to be caught up on current events. So that might
be something where you're reading the news or
watching the news. But just pay attention to
how your mental and emotional state is responding
to that. and move forward responsibly. If you
find that you begin to adopt a more negative
outlook or it's bringing some anxiety into your
morning that you didn't have before then maybe
that's not the right time to take in that information.
Other ways to be informed might be to read or
to focus on learning something new or the next
thing that you need to know for a career for
yourself and even circling back to the journaling
piece can be used to get to know yourself better
and move forward with a more informed sense of
what it is that you're wanting in your life.
Whatever you decide to fill your morning with,
my key takeaways are to introduce things slowly.
I wouldn't try to revamp your entire morning
routine and tackle all of these things at once
for large chunks of time, though you can absolutely
bring two or three items in maybe for shorter
amounts of time and build from there. And to
start with the end in mind. What is it that you
want to accomplish? from the activities you're
bringing into your morning so that you can hold
that intention while you're doing them and make
sure that the time and effort is used towards
creating a more positive experience in your day.
Now at night some things you could seek to accomplish
with your night routine might be to relax and
unwind, to get better sleep, to do some stretching,
to leave your home in an organized state, to
be ready for the next day, maybe a yin yoga practice
that allows you to get a very deep stretch, taking
a hot shower in the evening to allow your body
and mind to relax, maybe even some sort of supplement
if you have difficulty sleeping like a melatonin
but definitely ask your doctor if that's right
for you. Removing yourself from screens and I
know and I am guilty of it too it's so much easier
sometimes to come home and plop yourself in front
of the tv or to scroll on your phone mindlessly
but all of that exposure to screens can really
mess with your sleep cycle and so at some point
removing yourself from screens maybe grabbing
a book to read or taking that time to meditate
or wind down in some way, maybe with a journal,
can really help to fuel your sleep in a way that
is just glorious. This is something I've been
trying to work on myself. Getting the lights
turned out 20 to 30 minutes at least before I'm
wanting to go to bed could even make quite a
bit of an impact on my quality of sleep, even
if I can't make time for the recommended two
hour wind down of being off of screens. Every
little bit counts for something. Other things
you can do in the evening are to maybe have a
15 minute pickup just to sort of reset at the
end of the night for the next day. You can lay
out your clothes for work. You can do a journal
or gratitude practice in the evening if that
better suits you. I think the point is there's
no one size fits all for this type of activity
and whether you're intentional or not you already
have routines. Every day you likely wake up in
the same manner You either brush your teeth or
use the restroom, some kind of combination of
that. You likely have coffee or tea or water
or something immediately following. This is an
attempt to use that time with a much more focused
end in mind. I know for me, here we are halfway
through the year. Our kids are out of school.
Their routine has definitely become way more
relaxed and it makes it more difficult for me
to stay on some kind of a schedule. It's tempting
to stay up later and watch TV with them. or hang
out which then causes us to sleep in a little
bit later and so I'm at a place where I'm trying
very hard to reconnect to the intentionality
of that routine and for summer in a much less
complicated way. In the fall when the kids are
waking up early and we have a more strict rhythm
to our life, it makes a lot more sense for me
to have more in my morning routine, but I want
to keep the habit alive and I want to still have
a sense of calm and peace and focus as I move
into the day. I sure hope this helps you in some
way or helps get you thinking about ways that
you might like to either revamp or add to or
change up your morning routine in a way that
will positively benefit you. And I hope you have
an amazing week. Take care.