WEBVTT 00:00:01.539 --> 00:00:06.120 Hi, I'm Kara Sutterfield and this is my podcast. 00:00:06.780 --> 00:00:09.779 After over 20 years of leading one -on -one and 00:00:09.779 --> 00:00:12.939 group coaching in professional settings, I developed 00:00:12.939 --> 00:00:15.960 a passion for helping other women uncover who 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:19.019 they long to become and how to live into that 00:00:19.019 --> 00:00:22.859 vision of self today. Let's deep dive into this 00:00:22.859 --> 00:00:26.440 profound exploration together, discover how best 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:29.539 to embody the highest version of ourselves, and 00:00:29.539 --> 00:00:33.140 take action in this present moment. To Be Her 00:00:33.140 --> 00:00:37.579 Now. Hello and welcome back to To Be Her Now. 00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:42.380 I am Cara and today we're going to talk about 00:00:42.380 --> 00:00:47.240 routines and specifically morning routines and 00:00:47.240 --> 00:00:52.070 evening routines. To me, this is such an important 00:00:52.070 --> 00:00:55.609 key to setting yourself up properly for a great 00:00:55.609 --> 00:00:58.890 day, for a great sleep, to make sure that the 00:00:58.890 --> 00:01:01.929 things that are very important to you are accomplished 00:01:01.929 --> 00:01:06.549 in a day and both really set the tone for the 00:01:06.549 --> 00:01:09.549 energy that you're going to receive. If I've 00:01:09.549 --> 00:01:11.430 said it once, I've said it a thousand times. 00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:15.459 I am absolutely a recovering all or nothing kind 00:01:15.459 --> 00:01:18.659 of person and it's an active moment to moment 00:01:18.659 --> 00:01:23.540 conscious effort to not be all or nothing in 00:01:23.540 --> 00:01:26.260 everything I do. And my morning routine has been 00:01:26.260 --> 00:01:29.299 no different over the years. I have had some 00:01:29.299 --> 00:01:34.430 of the most rigid, scheduled, intense, complicated, 00:01:34.510 --> 00:01:36.709 involved morning routines that I have tried, 00:01:36.769 --> 00:01:39.849 which of course did not last because nobody has 00:01:39.849 --> 00:01:42.790 time for that. And I have had seasons where I've 00:01:42.790 --> 00:01:46.170 had pretty much no routine other than I wake 00:01:46.170 --> 00:01:48.930 up, I make my coffee, and I spend a few minutes 00:01:48.930 --> 00:01:51.890 just quietly sipping on it. And I think both 00:01:51.890 --> 00:01:55.909 have a time and place depending on the season 00:01:55.909 --> 00:01:58.180 you're in in life. depending on the season of 00:01:58.180 --> 00:02:01.519 the year and depending on what it is that you 00:02:01.519 --> 00:02:04.319 want your morning or night routine to accomplish 00:02:04.319 --> 00:02:07.340 for you. So let's start there and let's start 00:02:07.340 --> 00:02:10.280 with morning routines. I think the best place 00:02:10.280 --> 00:02:14.080 to begin is what do you want to gain from the 00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:16.840 routine you're putting in place? Are you wanting 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:20.259 more me time? Are you wanting connectedness with 00:02:20.259 --> 00:02:23.379 yourself, your partner, or God? Are you wanting 00:02:23.379 --> 00:02:27.009 to bring more positivity into your life? Are 00:02:27.009 --> 00:02:30.590 you wanting to instill a sense of calm or peace 00:02:30.590 --> 00:02:33.969 into your day? Do you want more energy in your 00:02:33.969 --> 00:02:37.830 day? More vibrancy? Are you looking to be more 00:02:37.830 --> 00:02:41.729 organized? To gain clarity? To walk into your 00:02:41.729 --> 00:02:44.810 day feeling informed? Or are you just needing 00:02:44.810 --> 00:02:49.509 to wake up in a state that feels ready rather 00:02:49.509 --> 00:02:52.409 than scrambling? There's a lot of different things 00:02:52.409 --> 00:02:55.330 that you can accomplish with your morning routine. 00:02:55.530 --> 00:02:58.990 And once you have an idea of what it is you want 00:02:58.990 --> 00:03:01.530 to extract from it, whether it's any of those 00:03:01.530 --> 00:03:04.229 things I just listed or some combination of them 00:03:04.229 --> 00:03:06.469 or something completely different that has not 00:03:06.469 --> 00:03:08.370 occurred to me, and if you have something different 00:03:08.370 --> 00:03:11.050 please tell me because I'm always looking for 00:03:11.050 --> 00:03:14.030 some exciting way to spice up my morning routine, 00:03:14.330 --> 00:03:16.710 once we have in mind what we're going after we 00:03:16.710 --> 00:03:20.069 can select specific activities that help to meet 00:03:20.069 --> 00:03:23.520 that need. So there was a time when I would try 00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:27.780 to tackle everything at once and I'm not at all 00:03:27.780 --> 00:03:30.939 exaggerating. I have had morning routines that 00:03:30.939 --> 00:03:34.479 in action I realized later were taking two to 00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:37.539 three hours and while I would genuinely uphold 00:03:37.539 --> 00:03:41.080 them for at least a month or two there's just 00:03:41.080 --> 00:03:44.560 no way that that was going to last on a regular 00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:47.180 basis. So once you know what you want to extract 00:03:47.180 --> 00:03:50.159 I think it's also very important to be realistic. 00:03:50.349 --> 00:03:52.909 If you don't currently have time for a morning 00:03:52.909 --> 00:03:56.090 routine, if you are waking up to your alarm, 00:03:56.530 --> 00:03:59.169 turning it off, going straight to get ready for 00:03:59.169 --> 00:04:01.810 the day, and moving on to your day, then the 00:04:01.810 --> 00:04:04.229 first place to start is probably with your wake 00:04:04.229 --> 00:04:07.729 up time. Now, if you are working three jobs, 00:04:08.009 --> 00:04:11.090 you're getting four hours of sleep a night and 00:04:11.090 --> 00:04:14.389 you can't possibly fathom waking up any earlier, 00:04:14.689 --> 00:04:17.550 then you're not in the season of life for a morning 00:04:17.550 --> 00:04:20.649 routine. And more power to you and God bless 00:04:20.649 --> 00:04:23.490 you and I'm just sending you all the strong coffee 00:04:23.490 --> 00:04:26.949 vibes. There are times in life when adding one 00:04:26.949 --> 00:04:30.290 more thing or one more stressor to quote unquote 00:04:30.290 --> 00:04:33.709 be better is actually just detrimental because 00:04:33.899 --> 00:04:36.339 it's too much pressure, it's too little sleep, 00:04:36.519 --> 00:04:38.279 it's just not the right time. So honor where 00:04:38.279 --> 00:04:42.079 you're at and do the best you can and know when 00:04:42.079 --> 00:04:44.360 something is not the right timing for you. If 00:04:44.360 --> 00:04:46.600 it is your time for a morning routine and you 00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:49.439 don't currently have the time for it, then maybe 00:04:49.439 --> 00:04:52.959 we start with waking up 15 minutes earlier. Do 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:55.779 that for a week or two then add another 15 minutes 00:04:55.779 --> 00:04:58.379 earlier. If you're someone who can just set the 00:04:58.379 --> 00:05:01.699 alarm for an additional hour earlier and have 00:05:01.699 --> 00:05:05.000 an hour for yourself, Awesome. Go for it. I tend 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:08.759 to do better working my way to an earlier hour 00:05:08.759 --> 00:05:11.899 and adjusting my routine slowly. So pick whatever 00:05:11.899 --> 00:05:15.019 is best for you. But the goal would be to create 00:05:15.019 --> 00:05:18.040 more time in the morning so that you can establish 00:05:18.040 --> 00:05:20.680 some sort of intentionality to the start of your 00:05:20.680 --> 00:05:24.120 day. If your goal is just more me time. Then 00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:27.699 maybe you just create a space where you go each 00:05:27.699 --> 00:05:30.199 day a comfortable seat in your house, a special 00:05:30.199 --> 00:05:32.879 room that's away from everyone else, and enjoy 00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:35.860 a morning beverage or just sit quietly for a 00:05:35.860 --> 00:05:40.360 little bit. We are so starved for quiet downtime 00:05:40.360 --> 00:05:44.279 for our brains that just being intentional to 00:05:44.279 --> 00:05:47.879 wake up 15 minutes early and be conscious in 00:05:47.879 --> 00:05:51.420 the quiet can have such benefit for us. If you're 00:05:51.420 --> 00:05:53.720 wanting to go beyond that, then maybe there's 00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:56.220 some other activities we can add. There's really 00:05:56.220 --> 00:05:59.060 awesome books on the topic of morning routines. 00:05:59.480 --> 00:06:01.980 A simple search on the internet will pull up 00:06:01.980 --> 00:06:04.500 lots of ideas for activities you can do in a 00:06:04.500 --> 00:06:06.620 morning routine. One book in particular that 00:06:06.620 --> 00:06:10.319 I read, gosh, maybe a decade ago now, is called 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:14.220 The Miracle Morning. by Hal Elrod and even in 00:06:14.220 --> 00:06:16.560 that one he names several activities that you 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:19.540 can do every morning that are built around research 00:06:19.540 --> 00:06:22.439 that shows that you'll be more positive more 00:06:22.439 --> 00:06:26.319 focused more productive all the things but even 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:29.180 his morning takes an hour and so if you don't 00:06:29.180 --> 00:06:31.459 have that kind of time or you don't have the 00:06:31.459 --> 00:06:34.120 ability to make that kind of time yet just do 00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:36.819 what you can do with any and all of these ideas. 00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:40.160 You might invite reading a devotion or praying 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:42.600 first thing in the morning into your day to help 00:06:42.600 --> 00:06:45.199 create a sense of connectedness to God so that 00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:47.600 you're moving forward with a sense of spiritual 00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:50.180 intention. If you have a spouse or a partner 00:06:50.180 --> 00:06:53.379 and you find that you don't have a lot of time 00:06:53.379 --> 00:06:55.680 for quality time, whether you're in a season 00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:58.420 with kids or with work, maybe you commit together 00:06:58.420 --> 00:07:00.899 to waking up earlier and sitting down to enjoy 00:07:00.899 --> 00:07:03.819 a cup of coffee or tea together. to create that 00:07:03.819 --> 00:07:06.720 connectedness together or if you're on your own 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:09.220 just spending that time in silence like we've 00:07:09.220 --> 00:07:12.300 said to create that connectedness with yourself 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:15.759 can be so beneficial. You might consider adopting 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:19.560 a gratitude practice or meditation or breath 00:07:19.560 --> 00:07:23.160 work or yoga all of which could feed positivity 00:07:23.160 --> 00:07:26.120 or a sense of calm and peace in your day and 00:07:26.120 --> 00:07:28.720 with these practices if you're anything like 00:07:28.720 --> 00:07:32.100 me when you hear meditation or you hear yoga 00:07:32.170 --> 00:07:34.730 your brain is automatically thinking, I'm going 00:07:34.730 --> 00:07:37.189 to carve out 30 minutes to go do this activity 00:07:37.189 --> 00:07:39.829 and gosh, drive time for that. And how am I going 00:07:39.829 --> 00:07:43.389 to make that time when the reality is five minutes 00:07:43.389 --> 00:07:46.810 of any given activity is leaps and bounds more 00:07:46.810 --> 00:07:49.009 than the zero minutes you're currently doing. 00:07:49.209 --> 00:07:52.230 So just the intention of sitting down with an 00:07:52.230 --> 00:07:55.029 activity that is meant to fuel you in a particular 00:07:55.029 --> 00:07:58.250 way for five minutes is going to have a strong 00:07:58.250 --> 00:08:01.410 impact on your morning, on your mental state, 00:08:01.410 --> 00:08:04.930 and on your day. If you are someone who desires 00:08:04.930 --> 00:08:08.810 more energy in your day or is working on your 00:08:08.810 --> 00:08:11.319 health and fitness Then maybe in the mornings 00:08:11.319 --> 00:08:13.860 you're carving out time to do a workout, to eat 00:08:13.860 --> 00:08:17.180 a healthy breakfast. Maybe you plan or prepare 00:08:17.180 --> 00:08:19.579 your day in some way whether it's preparing your 00:08:19.579 --> 00:08:22.620 lunch or writing out your schedule for the day 00:08:22.620 --> 00:08:24.379 so that you can wrap your mind around it and 00:08:24.379 --> 00:08:26.819 be prepared and have a sense of a plan. Maybe 00:08:26.819 --> 00:08:30.339 you're seeking clarity in your life and so you 00:08:30.339 --> 00:08:32.679 carve out some time to sit down with your morning 00:08:32.679 --> 00:08:35.639 beverage and just journal and think through the 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:39.820 topics. to free write, to just allow yourself 00:08:39.820 --> 00:08:42.340 to get to know what's going on in your mind and 00:08:42.340 --> 00:08:45.379 in your thoughts so that you can have a clear 00:08:45.379 --> 00:08:48.120 way forward. And if you're someone who would 00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:50.659 benefit from being informed, and I approach this 00:08:50.659 --> 00:08:53.000 one with caution because I know I'm very vocal 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:56.059 about protecting your data sphere and being careful 00:08:56.059 --> 00:08:58.539 about the types of information you allow in. 00:08:58.659 --> 00:09:01.960 But there are careers and people with a desire 00:09:01.960 --> 00:09:05.679 to be caught up on current events. So that might 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:07.659 be something where you're reading the news or 00:09:07.659 --> 00:09:10.879 watching the news. But just pay attention to 00:09:10.879 --> 00:09:14.580 how your mental and emotional state is responding 00:09:14.580 --> 00:09:17.139 to that. and move forward responsibly. If you 00:09:17.139 --> 00:09:21.080 find that you begin to adopt a more negative 00:09:21.080 --> 00:09:23.799 outlook or it's bringing some anxiety into your 00:09:23.799 --> 00:09:25.799 morning that you didn't have before then maybe 00:09:25.799 --> 00:09:29.220 that's not the right time to take in that information. 00:09:29.779 --> 00:09:32.960 Other ways to be informed might be to read or 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:35.879 to focus on learning something new or the next 00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:37.980 thing that you need to know for a career for 00:09:37.980 --> 00:09:40.820 yourself and even circling back to the journaling 00:09:40.820 --> 00:09:43.460 piece can be used to get to know yourself better 00:09:43.460 --> 00:09:47.279 and move forward with a more informed sense of 00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:49.019 what it is that you're wanting in your life. 00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:50.960 Whatever you decide to fill your morning with, 00:09:51.139 --> 00:09:53.940 my key takeaways are to introduce things slowly. 00:09:54.360 --> 00:09:56.980 I wouldn't try to revamp your entire morning 00:09:56.980 --> 00:10:00.620 routine and tackle all of these things at once 00:10:00.620 --> 00:10:04.000 for large chunks of time, though you can absolutely 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:06.659 bring two or three items in maybe for shorter 00:10:06.659 --> 00:10:09.460 amounts of time and build from there. And to 00:10:09.460 --> 00:10:12.100 start with the end in mind. What is it that you 00:10:12.100 --> 00:10:14.919 want to accomplish? from the activities you're 00:10:14.919 --> 00:10:17.559 bringing into your morning so that you can hold 00:10:17.559 --> 00:10:20.539 that intention while you're doing them and make 00:10:20.539 --> 00:10:23.620 sure that the time and effort is used towards 00:10:23.620 --> 00:10:26.399 creating a more positive experience in your day. 00:10:26.549 --> 00:10:29.450 Now at night some things you could seek to accomplish 00:10:29.450 --> 00:10:32.570 with your night routine might be to relax and 00:10:32.570 --> 00:10:36.370 unwind, to get better sleep, to do some stretching, 00:10:36.850 --> 00:10:39.269 to leave your home in an organized state, to 00:10:39.269 --> 00:10:42.730 be ready for the next day, maybe a yin yoga practice 00:10:42.730 --> 00:10:45.190 that allows you to get a very deep stretch, taking 00:10:45.190 --> 00:10:47.649 a hot shower in the evening to allow your body 00:10:47.649 --> 00:10:51.519 and mind to relax, maybe even some sort of supplement 00:10:51.519 --> 00:10:54.899 if you have difficulty sleeping like a melatonin 00:10:54.899 --> 00:10:56.879 but definitely ask your doctor if that's right 00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:00.139 for you. Removing yourself from screens and I 00:11:00.139 --> 00:11:03.759 know and I am guilty of it too it's so much easier 00:11:03.759 --> 00:11:06.139 sometimes to come home and plop yourself in front 00:11:06.139 --> 00:11:09.620 of the tv or to scroll on your phone mindlessly 00:11:09.620 --> 00:11:12.639 but all of that exposure to screens can really 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:15.500 mess with your sleep cycle and so at some point 00:11:15.500 --> 00:11:18.159 removing yourself from screens maybe grabbing 00:11:18.159 --> 00:11:20.980 a book to read or taking that time to meditate 00:11:20.980 --> 00:11:23.379 or wind down in some way, maybe with a journal, 00:11:23.659 --> 00:11:26.419 can really help to fuel your sleep in a way that 00:11:26.419 --> 00:11:29.360 is just glorious. This is something I've been 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:31.659 trying to work on myself. Getting the lights 00:11:31.659 --> 00:11:35.279 turned out 20 to 30 minutes at least before I'm 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:37.700 wanting to go to bed could even make quite a 00:11:37.700 --> 00:11:40.100 bit of an impact on my quality of sleep, even 00:11:40.100 --> 00:11:42.799 if I can't make time for the recommended two 00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:45.559 hour wind down of being off of screens. Every 00:11:45.559 --> 00:11:48.250 little bit counts for something. Other things 00:11:48.250 --> 00:11:50.049 you can do in the evening are to maybe have a 00:11:50.049 --> 00:11:53.409 15 minute pickup just to sort of reset at the 00:11:53.409 --> 00:11:55.669 end of the night for the next day. You can lay 00:11:55.669 --> 00:11:58.690 out your clothes for work. You can do a journal 00:11:58.690 --> 00:12:01.090 or gratitude practice in the evening if that 00:12:01.090 --> 00:12:03.289 better suits you. I think the point is there's 00:12:03.289 --> 00:12:06.549 no one size fits all for this type of activity 00:12:06.549 --> 00:12:09.830 and whether you're intentional or not you already 00:12:09.830 --> 00:12:14.029 have routines. Every day you likely wake up in 00:12:14.029 --> 00:12:16.750 the same manner You either brush your teeth or 00:12:16.750 --> 00:12:18.870 use the restroom, some kind of combination of 00:12:18.870 --> 00:12:21.309 that. You likely have coffee or tea or water 00:12:21.309 --> 00:12:24.190 or something immediately following. This is an 00:12:24.190 --> 00:12:28.450 attempt to use that time with a much more focused 00:12:28.450 --> 00:12:31.590 end in mind. I know for me, here we are halfway 00:12:31.590 --> 00:12:33.769 through the year. Our kids are out of school. 00:12:33.909 --> 00:12:36.970 Their routine has definitely become way more 00:12:36.970 --> 00:12:40.049 relaxed and it makes it more difficult for me 00:12:40.049 --> 00:12:42.690 to stay on some kind of a schedule. It's tempting 00:12:42.690 --> 00:12:45.120 to stay up later and watch TV with them. or hang 00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:47.919 out which then causes us to sleep in a little 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:50.620 bit later and so I'm at a place where I'm trying 00:12:50.620 --> 00:12:54.340 very hard to reconnect to the intentionality 00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:57.679 of that routine and for summer in a much less 00:12:57.679 --> 00:13:00.259 complicated way. In the fall when the kids are 00:13:00.259 --> 00:13:02.399 waking up early and we have a more strict rhythm 00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:05.019 to our life, it makes a lot more sense for me 00:13:05.019 --> 00:13:07.639 to have more in my morning routine, but I want 00:13:07.639 --> 00:13:11.059 to keep the habit alive and I want to still have 00:13:11.059 --> 00:13:14.559 a sense of calm and peace and focus as I move 00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:17.450 into the day. I sure hope this helps you in some 00:13:17.450 --> 00:13:20.110 way or helps get you thinking about ways that 00:13:20.110 --> 00:13:23.830 you might like to either revamp or add to or 00:13:23.830 --> 00:13:26.289 change up your morning routine in a way that 00:13:26.289 --> 00:13:29.190 will positively benefit you. And I hope you have 00:13:29.190 --> 00:13:31.389 an amazing week. Take care.