WEBVTT 00:00:01.539 --> 00:00:06.120 Hi, I'm Kara Sutterfield and this is my podcast. 00:00:06.780 --> 00:00:09.779 After over 20 years of leading one -on -one and 00:00:09.779 --> 00:00:12.939 group coaching in professional settings, I developed 00:00:12.939 --> 00:00:15.960 a passion for helping other women uncover who 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:19.019 they long to become and how to live into that 00:00:19.019 --> 00:00:22.859 vision of self today. Let's deep dive into this 00:00:22.859 --> 00:00:26.440 profound exploration together. Discover how best 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:29.500 to embody the highest version of ourselves and 00:00:29.500 --> 00:00:33.140 take action in this present moment to be her 00:00:33.140 --> 00:00:37.820 now. Welcome back to the to be her now podcast. 00:00:38.079 --> 00:00:42.140 I have two goals for today. One is to call a 00:00:42.140 --> 00:00:45.920 thing a thing. I want to make some observations 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:48.560 that I've been noticing lately. And my other 00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:51.799 intention is just to build you up. I want to 00:00:51.799 --> 00:00:54.179 speak into your life and encourage you. The thing 00:00:54.179 --> 00:00:57.439 I've been noticing is we all have an innate desire 00:00:57.439 --> 00:01:00.719 to be seen. We long to be noticed or discovered 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:04.319 or acknowledged. And so often I'm in a room full 00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:07.819 of people observing everyone longing for this 00:01:07.819 --> 00:01:12.260 and no one delivering it. Meaning when you take 00:01:12.260 --> 00:01:15.900 the time to notice someone, to see them, to hold 00:01:15.900 --> 00:01:18.340 space for them, to be present with them, you 00:01:18.340 --> 00:01:21.890 are giving them the biggest gift. the gift that 00:01:21.890 --> 00:01:25.390 most of us are longing for or lacking. And the 00:01:25.390 --> 00:01:28.849 irony of that is when you are in a moment with 00:01:28.849 --> 00:01:31.650 someone and you are showing someone that you 00:01:31.650 --> 00:01:35.310 care about them, most of the time you receive 00:01:35.310 --> 00:01:38.609 that exact energy back. And the same is true 00:01:38.609 --> 00:01:41.930 for all aspects of life. If you want to be seen, 00:01:42.049 --> 00:01:45.329 you have to see. If you want love, you have to 00:01:45.329 --> 00:01:48.629 love. If you want honesty, you have to be honest. 00:01:48.829 --> 00:01:52.129 Often the energy that we are seeking or the reward 00:01:52.129 --> 00:01:55.290 that we are seeking is on the other side of being 00:01:55.290 --> 00:01:58.629 or doing that exact thing for yourself or someone 00:01:58.629 --> 00:02:02.069 else. We all have the opportunity to do exactly 00:02:02.069 --> 00:02:04.930 those things for someone else every day if you're 00:02:04.930 --> 00:02:08.250 looking for those moments. From your own family 00:02:08.250 --> 00:02:10.469 when you're getting ready in the morning, to 00:02:10.469 --> 00:02:13.409 someone in line at the grocery store, to the 00:02:13.409 --> 00:02:15.789 guy down at the end of the hall of your office. 00:02:16.110 --> 00:02:19.729 There is always someone with whom you can exercise 00:02:19.729 --> 00:02:22.409 and practice giving exactly what it is you hope 00:02:22.409 --> 00:02:25.229 to receive in the world. Do you take the time 00:02:25.229 --> 00:02:28.169 to actively lift people up? How are you investing 00:02:28.169 --> 00:02:32.069 in others? Do you seize the moments to show someone 00:02:32.069 --> 00:02:35.289 that you care? Sometimes it feels like the whole 00:02:35.289 --> 00:02:37.389 world is falling apart and I think that this 00:02:37.389 --> 00:02:39.990 has happened throughout the ages. There's been 00:02:39.990 --> 00:02:43.069 plenty of times where humanity has felt in chaos 00:02:43.069 --> 00:02:46.409 and the outcomes are unknown. it feels like no 00:02:46.409 --> 00:02:49.490 one is agreeing and while some people seem to 00:02:49.490 --> 00:02:52.129 know exactly what to do from the position they're 00:02:52.129 --> 00:02:54.370 in in their lives to directly affect those big 00:02:54.370 --> 00:02:58.030 carry situations many of us feel like we aren't 00:02:58.030 --> 00:03:00.550 in the position to do something but the change 00:03:00.550 --> 00:03:03.810 starts with you right here right now it's like 00:03:03.810 --> 00:03:05.889 we always hear be the change you want to see 00:03:05.889 --> 00:03:09.550 in the world reach deep into every moment and 00:03:09.550 --> 00:03:12.490 extract the kindness, the good, the inspiration, 00:03:12.710 --> 00:03:15.710 and the love right out of it and then share it 00:03:15.710 --> 00:03:18.610 with someone close by. We don't start by planting 00:03:18.610 --> 00:03:22.289 a forest, right? You start by planting one seedling 00:03:22.289 --> 00:03:25.009 and nurturing that and doing it again and again 00:03:25.009 --> 00:03:27.969 and again. We spend so much time distracted with 00:03:27.969 --> 00:03:30.469 what's going on over there with those people 00:03:30.469 --> 00:03:33.310 that we completely neglect what's in our immediate 00:03:33.310 --> 00:03:36.430 power to do. And first and foremost, that is 00:03:36.430 --> 00:03:39.590 to fill your own cup. It is to take care of yourself. 00:03:39.909 --> 00:03:42.129 Be a good steward of this body that you live 00:03:42.129 --> 00:03:44.930 in. It's to nurture the relationships with the 00:03:44.930 --> 00:03:46.930 people that are around you in your immediate 00:03:46.930 --> 00:03:50.189 vicinity. It is to be honest with the person 00:03:50.189 --> 00:03:52.750 that's in the mirror and the people around you. 00:03:53.129 --> 00:03:56.090 When you start filling your own cup, as we hear 00:03:56.090 --> 00:03:59.710 so often, it begins to overflow. You know, I 00:03:59.710 --> 00:04:01.949 live in a city of almost a million and a half 00:04:01.949 --> 00:04:05.240 people. and we have typical big city problems 00:04:05.240 --> 00:04:08.400 and we have typical big city charms. But if every 00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:11.159 one of us focused on helping ourselves, elevating 00:04:11.159 --> 00:04:14.039 our own lives, and then making sure to help our 00:04:14.039 --> 00:04:16.779 neighbors come up along with us, we'd have an 00:04:16.779 --> 00:04:19.779 entirely different community in six months. We 00:04:19.779 --> 00:04:23.220 see needs all around us in our own communities 00:04:23.220 --> 00:04:26.100 and our own interactions all the time. But we 00:04:26.100 --> 00:04:30.279 think that a small act of kindness or an extended 00:04:30.279 --> 00:04:33.759 hand of help won't make a difference. we assume 00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:36.980 that we will be imposing or we fear being rejected 00:04:36.980 --> 00:04:39.980 and we allow that to stop us from contributing 00:04:39.980 --> 00:04:42.959 in the moment that we're in. The number one thing 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:46.579 that you can do today is to feel into your true 00:04:46.579 --> 00:04:49.959 authentic self and show up as that person not 00:04:49.959 --> 00:04:52.480 only for yourself but for the people you're going 00:04:52.480 --> 00:04:55.709 to come in contact with. We all run around, I 00:04:55.709 --> 00:04:57.930 would say as a collective, not every one of us, 00:04:58.089 --> 00:05:00.930 but we run around looking outward, asking the 00:05:00.930 --> 00:05:03.649 people around us, do you like me? Do you approve 00:05:03.649 --> 00:05:06.750 of me? Am I doing the right thing? Is what I'm 00:05:06.750 --> 00:05:09.889 doing the next right step? The thing is you were 00:05:09.889 --> 00:05:12.470 put on this earth with a particular purpose, 00:05:12.689 --> 00:05:15.670 with a particular frequency to affect change 00:05:15.670 --> 00:05:19.209 in your unique way. And if you're looking out 00:05:19.209 --> 00:05:21.589 there for validation of what you're supposed 00:05:21.589 --> 00:05:24.209 to be doing next, you are likely doing things 00:05:24.209 --> 00:05:26.410 out of alignment with who you're here to be. 00:05:26.709 --> 00:05:29.350 The number one question to ask yourself is, do 00:05:29.350 --> 00:05:32.889 I like me? Am I showing up as who I want to be 00:05:32.889 --> 00:05:36.129 in the world, as who I feel myself to be? Do 00:05:36.129 --> 00:05:40.269 I feel integrity with myself? Do I feel respected 00:05:40.269 --> 00:05:43.709 by myself? Do I like to spend time with me? Do 00:05:43.709 --> 00:05:46.910 I value what I'm bringing to any given moment? 00:05:47.069 --> 00:05:51.329 Start there. Begin with you. And if you're answering 00:05:51.329 --> 00:05:54.290 no to any of those questions, it's okay. There's 00:05:54.290 --> 00:05:57.370 no need to judge that or to worry about it. Just 00:05:57.370 --> 00:06:01.050 start shifting into who you feel is your authentic 00:06:01.050 --> 00:06:05.189 self. Because the thing is, we're raised in a 00:06:05.189 --> 00:06:09.389 societal construct that is built to separate 00:06:09.389 --> 00:06:12.930 us from who we are, to keep us concerned about 00:06:12.930 --> 00:06:16.399 what's out there versus what's in here. And it's 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:21.000 backwards. Change and peace and love and kindness 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:26.000 and abundance and joy start inside of you and 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:28.939 overflow to them. It doesn't start with them 00:06:28.939 --> 00:06:32.139 and work backwards. And let me be clear, I'm 00:06:32.139 --> 00:06:35.620 not talking about selfishness. I'm talking about 00:06:35.620 --> 00:06:38.759 putting your own oxygen mask on first because 00:06:38.759 --> 00:06:41.279 you can't help anybody when you're not capable. 00:06:41.540 --> 00:06:44.019 You can't share abundance that you don't have. 00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.600 You have to cultivate that for yourself first 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:49.870 and then open yourself to sharing it. The main 00:06:49.870 --> 00:06:52.449 thing I want to impart to you this week is that 00:06:52.449 --> 00:06:55.949 whatever is on your heart to do, to feel, to 00:06:55.949 --> 00:06:59.769 be is there for a reason. It is not an accident. 00:07:00.089 --> 00:07:03.470 If it is something that is growing from a place 00:07:03.470 --> 00:07:06.269 of love, it's right. And I want you to know that 00:07:06.269 --> 00:07:09.029 you're worthy of stepping into that, whatever 00:07:09.029 --> 00:07:12.170 it is. And when you start to step into your worthiness 00:07:12.490 --> 00:07:15.970 When you own your space, when you claim what 00:07:15.970 --> 00:07:19.230 it is that you believe is yours to claim, the 00:07:19.230 --> 00:07:23.569 world reorganizes around that. So as you continue 00:07:23.569 --> 00:07:26.329 through your week, I want to extend an invitation 00:07:26.329 --> 00:07:30.870 to stand in your worthiness, to extend the power 00:07:30.870 --> 00:07:34.410 of seeing and noticing first to yourself and 00:07:34.410 --> 00:07:37.949 then to those around you. Just try it. Just trust 00:07:37.949 --> 00:07:40.730 your instinct. When you're in line somewhere, 00:07:40.790 --> 00:07:43.569 say hello. When you're in front of the mirror, 00:07:43.910 --> 00:07:46.550 pause to say a few good things to yourself. Do 00:07:46.550 --> 00:07:49.689 that for 30 days, and watch your world change. 00:07:50.430 --> 00:07:52.350 I feel like I went on a little bit of a tangent 00:07:52.350 --> 00:07:55.269 there, and got a little off topic from what I 00:07:55.269 --> 00:07:57.490 had intended to talk about. But I'm gonna leave 00:07:57.490 --> 00:08:00.569 it, because I really trust that this message 00:08:00.569 --> 00:08:03.329 is for someone today. I know someone hearing 00:08:03.329 --> 00:08:05.930 my voice right now had a spark of recognition, 00:08:06.389 --> 00:08:08.660 and so I'm gonna let that be what it is. I wish 00:08:08.660 --> 00:08:11.660 you a wonderful week on your journey to be her 00:08:11.660 --> 00:08:11.980 now.