Hi, I'm Kara Sutterfield, and this is my podcast.
After over 20 years of leading one -on -one and
group coaching in professional settings, I developed
a passion for helping other women uncover who
they long to become and how to live into that
vision of self today. Let's deep dive into this
profound exploration together. Discover how best
to embody the highest version of ourselves. and
take action in this present moment, To Be Her
Now. Hello and welcome to the first episode of
To Be Her Now. Wow. What a joy to be here. It
has been a long journey to get this idea out
of my head and into a recording. But I'm so happy
to be here and I hope that this podcast will
help you on your journey in life to becoming
the best version of yourself. So what is to be
her now? In order to focus on where we're going,
we need to know where we are. And so that's where
I want to start, both with today's episode and
with the podcast in general. When you're entering
an address into GPS and you're telling it where
you want it to take you, the first thing it has
to know is where you are currently. That step
is defaulted for us in GPS, but it's not necessarily
defaulted for us our life. I think we live in
an age of a lot of distraction and it's very
easy to numb or avoid recognition of where we
are and the role that we are playing in creating
the life that we have. So I want to start there.
Once we've established where you are, the next
step is to figure out where you want to go and
it's in looking at the gap between these two
places that we can draw a map and and determine
a clear direction for how we're gonna get from
point A to point B. So in order to establish
where we are and in order to establish where
we wanna go, I like to look at what I call the
foundation and the eight pillars. Now, you can
do a search online for dimensions of wellness
to pull up all kinds of suggestions of areas
of your life that when focused on will enhance
your overall wellbeing. and when ignored will
negatively affect your overall well -being. And
there's all kinds of opinions about how many
dimensions there are, what the most important
ones are. These are just my opinion. And I highly
encourage you, once you hear these and you've
given them some thought, to do a little research
on your own and determine what pillars would
be most important to you. I pick these eight.
because I feel like they encompass all of the
others in some way. But you might find that there
are others that are way more important to you
or important to you right now that you want to
add, or some that don't necessarily impact you
in the same way they impact me and you want to
subtract some. You do you. But this is a framework
that you can use to get yourself started. So
the first thing we need to do to be her now and
to gain a clear picture of who we want to be
is to establish a strong foundation. And for
me, our foundation in this embodied physical
life that we lead begins in the body. mind and
spirit. And when we're looking at these three
areas for the foundation, we want to look at
the whole picture of each of these areas. First,
we're going to look at these from the perspective
of where we are, and then we're going to look
at these from the perspective of what we would
like to have. So for body, when you're considering
your body, I'm not talking about reaching an
ideal that you would see in media or online or
in a magazine at all. But I do feel it's important
to establish for yourself what your body feels
and looks and acts like when it's at its best
and to establish if you are in that place right
now. And for me, I do this by looking at what
is the nutrition I'm taking in? Am I fueling
myself well? for energy and for living the life
that I want to live? Or am I fueling myself in
a way that will ultimately negatively impact
how I feel? What kind of movement am I getting?
What kind of sleep am I getting? Am I hydrated?
And do I need or am I taking the supplements
that will help me to have my best energy? I have
no intention of prescribing to you a particular
way of doing any of these things. I think that
we are in a place where We are so disconnected
from our inner voice that we outsource all kinds
of aspects of ourselves to other people, to the
internet, to leaders. It's great to search and
find ideas. But at the end of the day, you have
to determine through action and experimentation
and trial and error, what works best for you
to feel your best. I really believe this when
it comes to nutrition and movement. and sleep
and hydration and whether or not you need supplements.
You know when you're eating in a way that makes
you feel great and you know that because you
feel vibrant and you have energy and you're able
to think well and bring to the table your best
self. You know when you're moving your body in
a way that serves you etc etc. So for the first
part of the foundation I encourage you to look
at your body literally and theoretically and
determine how are you taking care of it. And
be very honest with yourself. In this moment,
how do you feel inside of your body? How do you
feel when you see your body? How do you feel
when you move your body? Is that great or is
that not so great? And we're just going to establish
that baseline to know exactly where you are right
now. And I want you to do that from a place of
your deep down knowing, not comparison. Please,
when you're looking at these aspects, look at
them from a place of really truly where you feel
you are, not where society says you should be,
not when you're comparing to someone on the internet.
Where are you now for you? The second aspect
of the foundation is your mind. Are you focused
on growth? Are you learning? What thoughts do
you carry on a daily basis? Do you feel very
negatively about your world or do you have a
positive outlook? Are you confident? Are you
intentional about what you take in to your mind,
the information and the data that you take in
on a daily basis? What about what you send out
into the world, your output? What words do you
use? Where is your mind currently? The third
aspect of the foundation for me is spirit. And
I'm not even talking about religion, though for
many people that is an aspect of fueling their
spirit. But I don't believe that you have to
have a religious claim to practice and work on
how you feel in your spirit. Do you have an anchoring
or uplifting practice in your day? That could
be gratitude, meditation, devotion, reading your
religious work, whatever most resonates. for
you as being a spiritual practice. Do you pray?
Do you spend time in nature? There's a lot of
ways that you can feed your spirit. What I find
is that a spiritual practice should be uplifting
and it should expand beyond you. So those are
the foundation as I see it. I encourage you to
spend some time. You can even pause this podcast
as we move along or you can come back to it later.
Spend some time figuring out where you are in
your opinion from your deepest knowing in these
three foundational areas of how you're living
on this earth in this body that you have been
gifted so that you can decide if changes are
needed or if you're doing a great job in these
areas and you have a really strong foundation.
You need to know where you are before you can
figure out where you're going to go. Once I've
looked at these foundational areas, my next thought
process is to focus on the eight pillars of To
Be Her Now. For me, those eight pillars are relationships,
career, finances, leisure, housing, self -image,
possessions, and daily routine or habits. I'm
going to dive into each of these a little bit
more. These are in no particular order, but I
do feel that each of these feeds the other in
some way. The important thing to remember about
these pillars or any dimensions of wellness that
you decide to look at is that each of them requires
your attention and that neglecting any of these
areas ultimately results in negatively affecting
the others. Investing your time and your effort
in each of these areas ultimately uplifts your
well -being in all of the others. So from the
perspective of where you are now, let's look
at relationships. For me, the number one relationship
to take a look at is your relationship with yourself.
How do you talk to yourself? Are you supportive
of yourself? Do you like yourself? Do you spend
time with yourself? This is a really important
foundation for any other relationship you could
possibly have in your life. And once you've established
where you're at with your relationship with yourself,
what about your family and friends or your romantic
partner or love life? What are those relationships
currently like? And be very honest with yourself.
Take a look at these from a space of non -judgment
and just factually determine where you are now.
The second pillar I look at is career and again
these are not in a particular order but this
is how I have them listed in front of me so this
is how I'm sharing them with you. In your career
do you have a sense of purpose? Do you serve
a community or people that you care about? Do
you feel like you're making a difference? Do
you feel like you get to express your creativity
in a way that's fulfilling for you? Is your career
in general fulfilling for you? Do you come home
energized or do you come home drained? How about
your finances? Is your income where you want
it to be? Do you have debt that maybe you wish
you didn't? Do you budget the money that you
do get? Do you have a strong why for bringing
the money in, meaning Do you have a place where
you want to invest that or give it away or benefit
others with what you have coming in? How about
your leisure activities? Do you spend your spare
time in activities that replenish and fuel you
or do you ultimately feel drained and sort of
numbed out? Are the activities that you bring
into your life evoking joy? and excitement or
deep relaxation? Or do you feel diminished after
the activities that you spend your leisure time
in? For example, do you spend your leisure time
drinking, maybe having too much? A diminished
effect of that might be being hungover. Do you
spend your time scrolling? Does that put you
in a place of comparison or does it leave you
feeling uplifted? Only you can know the answers
to these questions. but it's so important to
take a look and come from an honest place of
accountability with where you are right now.
The fourth pillar I mentioned is housing. Does
your housing function well for you? Do you feel
safe? Do you like the aesthetic of it? Does it
encourage positive habits? Do you like being
there? Does it feel like a sanctuary or do you
feel lonely there? Is it peaceful or is it in
chaos? What about your self -image? How do you
feel about who you are in the world? How do you
feel in your body and in your skin? Do you like
your physique when you're coming from a place
of just looking at you for you, not comparison?
How do you feel about your fashion and the expression
of yourself that you put into the world? What
about your possessions? Do the things that you
have enhance your life or do they suffocate you?
Do you have what you want? Do the things in your
home and in your life bring joy and bring peace,
evoke beautiful memories or do they stress you
out? Do you not appreciate them? And finally,
daily routines and habits. Does the flow of your
day from the time you wake up until the time
you go to sleep, do the habits that fill that
time lift you up or leave you feeling empty?
Do you have a strong morning routine? Do you
build your day around taking care of yourself
and doing the things that will make you feel
great? Or do you ping -pong around your life
sort of reactive instead of being proactive and
impacting the world around you? So those are
the aspects of the eight pillars when you're
considering where you are now. And for the next
step, we want to go back through those back through
the foundation and back through the eight pillars
from the unfiltered perspective of who you long
to be. And I'm not talking about who you think
is realistic from where you are right now. I'm
not talking about imposing any ideas about what
you think is possible or what you don't think
is possible. I'm talking about unfiltered dreaming
and allowing yourself to think as big as you
can possibly think. When I look out a year from
now, five years from now, 10 years from now,
20 years from now, who is she? How does she show
up in the world? What does her body, mind and
spirit reflect to myself and to the world? What
relationships do I have in my life that lift
me up and fuel me? What relationship do I have
with myself? What does my career look like? And
my finances. If the sky is the limit, how do
those things show up in my world? How do I spend
my leisure time? Do I travel in luxury or do
I camp all the time? What does my home look like?
How does it function for me? Does it support
the lifestyle that I want to live? Does it reflect
aesthetically what I want to see? Do I adorn
myself in beautiful clothing that feels expressive
of my personality? How do I take care of my body?
How do I protect the data that I have coming
into my mind? What am I learning? What am I practicing?
How am I growing? What are my spiritual practices
and how important are those in my day? When I
look in the mirror, what do I see? What are the
things that I have around me? What possessions
do I have? And how do those add to my life? And
what is the routine and the flow of my day and
my daily habits? How many hours do I work in
a day? Who do I spend my time with? I really
encourage you to sit down with a paper and pen,
not a phone or a computer. There's a lot of power
in taking your thoughts and forming letter by
letter into sentences what it is that you want
to create. But I recommend sitting down and writing
these out. And you can do this in a list format.
You can list out the categories and then just
sort of bullet point the things you want to have.
You can write a story. My favorite way is to
write my ideal day and include all of these aspects
in that ideal day. I reflect on each of them.
From the moment I open my eyes, acknowledging
what kind of bed I'm sleeping in, in what room,
what does it look like? When I get up for the
day and I walk by the mirror, who do I see in
the mirror? What does my morning then look like?
And how and when do I go to work? Where does
my self care come in? Who do I see in my day?
Am I traveling? What items do I see around me?
When you have taken the time to think through
and write out where you are and where you want
to be, we come to the third step in how to be
her now. And that is to start to think about
how do we bridge the gap between those two ways
of being? If I am not eating well to fuel my
body, what can I do today in this moment to start
acting as though I am that future self in the
here and now? If my space, my home is not what
I envision, for my future self. What are the
steps I can take right now to help get it where
it needs to be, where I want it to be? Maybe
it's cleaning or decluttering. Maybe it's getting
a roommate so I can live in a slightly elevated
place from where I am. If I'm looking at my finances
now and there's a stark difference between where
I am and where I want those to be, how can I
budget my income? How can I make some more money?
You get the idea. I hope that something I've
said today helps to bridge the gap between where
you are and where you're going. I encourage you
to sit down with an open heart and total accountability
for where you are in this moment. Even if things
outside of your control have happened to you
that could not have been prevented, that are
not your fault, what responsibility can you take
in this moment to better your circumstances?
Thank you so much for joining me today. I'm looking
forward to moving forward with this podcast and
learning and growing and doing these practices
right along with you. And I hope you will join
me next week. Take care.