I'm Jay. I'm Rob. I'm Rob. What's your name, bud? Eve. We picked him up on the street earlier
today. Fuck you. All right. All right. Coming in hot. So today is a good day because this
is episode 10 and we told you if you're one of them lucky motherfuckers that stick around
and listen that we were going to eat some shit today. Not literal shit. I take that
back. We didn't say we were eating dog poop on camera. No, we're not. We went to the local
dog park. I did make belly full of white dog shit. You're going to say I literally just
made Rob lick some white dog shit outside. So I didn't. But we got a smorgasbord of shit.
We went to the Asian Asian market, which we got. Check this pic because you know, we got
some, we got some good stuff and we got some fuck shit that I might not even try. I might
let you down. Yo, these are crab fried crab flavored lays. That's dope. And we got grass
jelly drink. I don't know what these hieroglyphics are, but this is whatever this is. This is
a white gourd drink. Yeah. What's a white gourd? Oh, show the ginseng root one. Oh God, that
one's going to be spicy. Look at this shit. The fucking root is in it. Hey, Rob's going
to eat it. I don't want to eat the root. You're going to take a bite. I don't want something
that grew inside of me. That's fine. What is this one again? Oh yeah. This is braised
gluten chunks. Just pure gluten. If you're a celiac, don't fucking eat this. That's pure
gluten. That's what it says. Braised gluten chunks. Imitation roast duck. It's going to
be an interesting one. It's, hold on. Sorry. It's fucking liquidy. We got roasted eel.
Shake that one. Yeah. Yep. A little sloppy in there. Yeah. So on this, I'm going to show
you guys something else. Wait, did you show the anchovy? Yeah. Show the anchovy. Fish
snack. Yeah. Ew, dude. That's so fucking gross. It's going to be good. Dude, you guys both
know I'm not like a, I like seafood, but I don't like oysters. I don't like mussels.
I don't like fucking anchovies. That's crazy. And then we got some pork liver pate. Bro,
you're going to smear it on some toast. That's so gross. It's going to be an interesting
one. It's going to taste like a fucking diaper, dude. A pork diaper maybe. For those of you
who aren't aware of what a patching is, it's where you take anything and make it like a
mashed potato consistency. Yeah. Like a spread. And then to finish it off for dessert, we
got a crispy rice cookie. A Weiss crispy. Yep. From Thailand. Product of Thailand. Bangkok?
I can't even say Bangkok. Bang what? It's from straight from Bang straight from Wuhan.
Nope. I better not be. I better not get COVID for any of this shit. So Rob and Steve both
for the last several months have been like absolutely begging me because they want to
try something of mine. It's not. And I've, and I've just been telling him like, no, like
chill. You know, like I don't, I don't want you to try it. That's it's married man. I
am married. So today they get to try my cock. I have not been begging for Jays. There is
no begging. There is no pleading or begging. He's been begging us to try it. You fucking
weirdo. Yeah, he was. No, you can stand with me right here. Huh? You want to know what?
I hate being fucked. I went to Paris. No, you just got Hilton. What is so this is basically,
I don't know what it is. Sweet and sour with chili. And that's all it tells you. Yeah.
We're supposed to know what my cock is. Yeah. But they're like these like it's vacuum sealed
and they're kind of hard. I can't fucking really squeeze it. I feel like it's, I can't
tell if it's soft or hard. Like when you bite into it. Yeah. I don't know if it's like squishy
plastic. What if it's, what if you're not supposed to, what if you're supposed to like
peel it? That's the hard part with like 98% of this shit is we can't read it. No, no offense.
No offense at all. What are your batteries? I think these are Asian. It's boy, boy, boy,
boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. It's basically the corn nuts,
but an Asian version of a corn net. So where do you guys want to start? What's the flavor
of barbecue? No, I can actually read this. It's an English. That one is in English. Wait,
I can actually read this part. The laser too says barbecue flavored fried corn. This away
from here. And then that's all. That's all I can read. The hard part with the smoke,
the roasted eel is I don't know how to open this one. I hope we don't get that one open.
Yeah. I hope it stays shut. I will open it. We should open it like in the trash can and
dump it. I'll straight go fucking eighties cowboy with a fucking. We should return that
to the ocean and put it in the toilet. No, dude. That's why I got crackers. We're going
to put it on cracker with a little bit of eel sauce. I'm also going to be humbled if
I like any of this shit. Good. You should be open-minded. These look like grapes. Can
we try the big grapes? Can we try the drinks first? Yeah. Let's get some drinks. Let's
try a drink. You guys want to try the hieroglyphic drink? It says it's melon flavored. So we
know it's melon flavored, but we don't know it else. Yeah. Let's try it. It's got a good
pop. It did. That was a good pop. Oh, smell that. It smells good. Dude, it seriously smells
like honeydew. Oh, interesting. Get Steve to smell test. Let me take a whiff of that.
Dude, that looks radioactive though. It does. It's because of the light. Like teal colored.
Yep. It smells good. Yeah. All right. Here we go. I just chuck it. That's really good.
You want it? That's actually hella good for real. Can we go back and get more daddy? We're
going to be going to the Asian market every Saturday. That's so sweet. It is very sweet.
It's so sweet. Oh man. That's so sweet. Hey, sound guy, you don't get to try any of this,
but it's really good though. It's tasty, but it's sweet. You guys don't have like herpes
or anything, right? Not today. Yeah. I get a flare up like once a year. My flare up comes
and goes, you know, full transfer. We got to rate everything too. I give that an eight
out of 10. Really? Yeah. It's melon cream soda, bro. That shit's fire. Oh, that's why
it was cream. So sugary. Fuck. Yeah. You like your creamy shit. That's the only, no offense.
That's the only lick of English on this can though. Melon cream soda. That's probably
why they put that label there. So you can actually know because we didn't know. 32 G's
of sugar. Holy. That's not as bad as like Mountain Dew, bro. Mountain Dew has like 70, bro. In
a can? Bro. Look at that. My heart is already hurting. Look at that. Look how much sugar
is in a can of Mountain Dew. How many? This is hurting my heart. Dude, what do you guys
rate that? What would you rate that? Probably like a six. A six? Really? I'd give it a six.
It's not a hateful six. Oh man. It is good. It's just not like, there's just too much
sugar in it. Yeah. Like, yeah. It's a soda. I really couldn't drink more than I just did.
46 grams in a can of Mountain Dew. Yeah. That's a lot. That is a lot. I'm talking the bottles
of that pineapple flavored Fanta, dude. Look that up. Look at how much sugar is in a bottle
of pineapple Fanta. This is actually going to be, it's going to piss you off actually.
What the fuck is the FDA doing with this? He said, get a load of this. Well, this is
just a can, but a can has 48. Bro, there was like, it's like 60 or something. So if you
get a bottle, it's probably 70 or 80. Yeah. Crazy, huh? Yeah. So are we sticking with
the drinks? I'm kind of curious about the grass jelly drink. Yeah. Crack it open. Give
it the, do the sound. Shut up. Sorry. That's a solid smell it. Dude, it smells like honey.
Really? Give it a sniff. Legit honey. Ooh, smells like honey and grass. I just smelt
like I'm fresh mowed lawn for a second. I'm not joking. I got hints of fresh mowed lawn.
Speaking of mowing the lawn, your bitch ass needs to start mowing the lawn. Yeah, I will.
Once it stops fucking raining sediment storming outside. Yesterday, earlier today was like,
it wasn't even hell. It seemed like it was rocks falling in the air. Quit doing that
sound. Interesting. It's pretty good. Quit fucking looking at me. I think I like that
one more than the other one. How much sugar is in this? 35. A lot. Oh my God. I like honey.
It's called population control. That tastes like a tea kind of. Yeah. It's kind of tea.
A sweet tea. A sweet green tea with cane. That tastes exactly like a 32 ounce cane sugar
green tea from. Really? No. That's honestly like a black tea. I'd give that also an eight
for me. I'll give that one a seven. I'm on seven also. I like that one. Yeah, it's better
than the melon. All right. It's so sweet. Let's fuck it up with the root. Oh Jesus.
No, we got to go white gore. We got to go white gore. Okay. We're on the sweet shit.
Okay. We'll do the white gore. Crack that bitch open. Dude, so far the pop on that second
one was the best. I had salt in the crack. That was a good crack. Crack that open for
a crack your lip open. That was like crispy. Yeah. Oh yeah. That was nice. That was crispy.
That was good. Oh yeah. Your face. Bad? No, it smells like something. It smells like a
gourd. I just can't figure it out. It smells gordy. It smells like a gourd in here. Whoa
bro. Yeah. Not what I expected. Really? What's that smell like? Bro, it smells like a, dude,
it's like rich. It's like a rich smell. Oh, what the fuck? It smells like a, like butter,
like straight up kind of has like a butterscotch. Butterscotch. But what the fuck is the brittle?
Oh, peanut brittle. Peanut brittle kind of. Am I wrong? Yeah. That's like, yeah. Maybe
that's what a white gourd is. Is it good? Guys, J just came. Fucking white gourd will
make you white gush. Fuck. Try that. That's the best one so far. Some white sheesh, dude.
Only 15 grams of sugar. Really? Yeah. Really? That's bomb. I would buy that. 15 G's a shit.
Oh bro. Bro, that's fire. Dude. That is. That's so odd though. Yeah. Very. Very bizarre, but
very good. I give that a nine out of 10. Yeah. I'm going to go eight. I'll give it. I'll
give that an eight. That's, that's bomb. I would buy that for sure. I'd fucking drink
that again. All right. That would actually make a really good cocktail with some bourbon.
That thing. Oh, it could. Yeah. Oh God. This is. Yeah. This one's going to be interesting.
It's a. Can you read that shit? It's like fucking straight ginger root and water. Yeah,
dude. There's only 55 calories in this bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Look how small it is too. Probably
just the nitrate and the dirt or something. It's a Korean. What is it? Read it. Korean.
Korean ginseng drink with root. Want me to try it first? Yeah. I want you to be guinea
pig on this one. All right. Should we smell first? I don't see sugar. Total sugar is 13.
Way less. So it might be still someone scooped this after a rainstorm. There's a lot of sediment
in there too. So is it my leg hasn't stopped freaking. Are you nervous? No, dude. I just
got anxiety from this table, bro. Fucking all this shit. You're shaking the cameras.
Sorry. Are they moving? Oh, I'm watching them move. Okay. I'm not going to lie. It smells
like a root straight up, but it doesn't stink. It smells fresh earthy. Yeah. I feel like
it's not going to be as bad as we think. It's straight up smells like you pulled something
out of the ground. That's what I'm saying. That's like that's rainwater. Probably is.
They pulled the root out, fill it with some rainwater and seal it up. You want to take
the dibs on it? I imagine they probably can't collect rainwater. Just that impressed. Oh
God. Probably South Korea. I don't think North Korea exports anything. Kim Jong-un's got
that shit on lock. Kim Jong-un made it more like, yeah. Kim Jong-un. You're going to drink
it. Kim Jong-un. Yeah. I'm just looking at all the sediment in there. I'll take a swig
of it. Also, are we sure that's a ginger root or is that an earthworm or a ginger root?
Are they trying to poison us with like earthworm? I don't know. I don't know. Regardless. It
doesn't look like an earthworm. I'll fucking eat it. It looks like a root. Legit looks
like a root. Not bad. I'm not going to lie. Yeah. It's not bad. It's kind of good. From
how it smells. It doesn't taste how it smells. A little bit at first, but after the afterbirth.
Sorry. What the fuck? The after is better. The after is better. The initial is like Rudy.
Yeah. Shout out Rudy. Try it, bud. Like the football. Did you ever see that? I'll watch
the back. Yeah. I've never seen that Cuba getting junior movie radio. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's
got like the Rudy feel to it. It does. Yeah. I'm going to give that like a four. Yeah.
I'll give it a 4.8. The initial taste is not that great. It just kind of sweet. Can we
refrigerate that? Or are we just going to dump it after this? I don't know. It's not
bad. It's not as gross as it sounded. We'll give it to Lucas. He'll drink it. I imagine
the look. Hell no. Lucas will fucking throw a fit over this thing. I imagine the face
that that thing gave me when I drank it is what Robert's going to look like when he figures
out they have his hard drive. They're just like fucking little like robots inside me
now. Yup. All right. What's next? Can we get something gross out of the way? Gross? Yeah.
I just want to get which one. How are you going to open? Oh, I say we go with one of
these first. Get gross. Which one do you want? Let's get the eel out of the way. Tation roast
duck or roast eel? It's fucked up. Give me this. I'm only putting like a little piece
on a cracker that shit in. Yeah. Don't spill it, please. I'm going to fucking vomit. Ew,
bro. Why do you smell it? I don't know. I can't not smell it. Damn it. Don't smell it. Yeah.
Keep going. I or I'm going to do it. Shut up. You're making me nervous. Taking too damn
long. Hurry the fuck up. OK. It's making me sick already. Yeah, it's pissing me off. Actually.
Why are you never mind? Why is it got an oblong can? Yeah. Ew, can you smell that? No. I'm
grateful for that. It's like a dirty butthole. I'm serious, bro. It smells like a fucking
gym bag. It smells like a gym bag. Does it look like a little fucking to keep? We got
to cut to a commercial break. Do my fingers smell weird? Fucking touch me with them. Oh,
fuck it. Get a cracker. You get a fucking cracker. You do it first, actually. Is it
all like one piece? Yeah. Oh, my God. They just mush it together. We show the camera
first. Is that like the sausage of the sea? Don't tip that tip it. Don't tip that. Oh,
dude. Try to slip the juices. Do it. No, you already said it. It smells like. Why does
it smell like like? Oh, yeah. Is that good? Yeah. What I just fucking weirdo licked my
finger. It wasn't. Yeah, whatever, dude. Cereal killer. Rob. Just pissed. Oh, my God. Put
that on the cracker. Slap that on your tongue. Put that on a cracker. I'll get it over with.
We have to try it alone. I feel like. Why? I don't know. Is that? Look at that, dude.
Oh, smell it. It looks gelato. It's gelato gelatinous gelato. Hey, what?
Put it on my zit. I was in cans going to smell like. All right, here we go. And three. Get
it over with. Let me get it on the crackers first. It is on the cracker. I just want to
get it the fuck over with. God, shut that thing. Yeah. Stop. I don't know where to put
it. You almost spilled fucking grilled eel all over you or whatever the fuck it is roasted.
You got to get this out of here. Yeah. Sound guy, please. Small. Oh, dude, it smells like
a fucking grab that outside trash smells like a musty baseball. Dude, don't tilt it like
a musty squished man. It smells like a must. Top it with some eel sauce. I don't even like
eel sauce that much. Give it a little dribble, Jay. OK, that's in sand. Did he can't even
form words right now. A little dribble. So again, guys, this is roasted eel. Oh, bro.
I'm going to fucking spit on you. You know, it's terrible about this is I don't even eat
eel when I go to like a sushi joint. Yeah. I want to know why it belongs in the wild.
All right, guys. God, I have the biggest cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.
Do we want to try something to break it up? I'm going to clean my palate with the melon
drink real quick. OK. Fucking gross. What's in that box? Oh, yeah. These are the shrimp
crackers or prawn crackers. Sorry. Yeah, it's just like, dude, the picture of it is unappetizing.
It's a prawn. You're a prawn. You're kind of prawn like all fucking gangly. Fuck you. You
look a little prawn like down there. Fucking scallywags got a little soft shell down there,
too. Hey, clam. That's fine. Story's finished. Hey, while Jay's opening that, I need a cracker
to cleanse my palate. Guess what Jay did? Jay cut out caffeine. I did. And it was the
fucking worst thing I've ever done in my life. He's doing this pod with a raging boner. Just
kidding. A raging headache right now. Props to Jay. Good job, Jay. The headaches also
from us, too. These look hella plasticky. They look like little tykes toys, bro. Is
that like candy or what the fuck is that? It's a prawn. Gelatin. No, dude. Is that an
actual shrimp? No. That's an actual scrimp in there. Scrimp. I mean, there's nutrition
facts. So this is edible, right? Obviously. Bubba gump scrimps. It looks like plastic.
It's like tapioca starch. These are the ingredients. Tapioca starch. Like one word. Shrimp flavor,
water and salt. Shrimp flavor. Blue number one. Red 40. Yellow five. Yellow six. What
the fuck is red 40, dude? That sounds like. Why am I shaking? I feel like I'm nervous.
What color do you want? This fucking super fucking whatever. Red 40 sounds like something
we got gassed with in Korea, dude. Dude, this does look like a little tykes toy like food.
Yeah, it legit looks like plastic. Listen to this. I'm flicking the shit out of that.
It's not even breaking, dude. It's like a fucking plastic pringle, dude. It's kind of
sus. We could literally how much were those, bro? Where's the. My blind? I don't know.
Oh, it's on the plastic probably. No, it was in the box. I don't know. There were a couple
bucks. You get. What was the plastic? You took plastic off of this. Oh, yeah. Oh, I
think it was like three bucks. It was like two ninety five. You get like a hundred in
there. You get like a hundred in there. Probably. This is the cheapest fucking washer I ever
saw in my life. Yeah. You just punch a hole right in that, dude. That ain't. Oh, my God,
dude. That took a minute to break. We can take communion with these. We could. Oh, bro.
I'm going to sit down with them. Gord, I actually have the funniest thing to share. There's
this kid at my work and scared. We walk into where we store our paint. We call it the warm
room because it keeps the paint warm. The war room and it smelled weird in there, dude,
like a wet rag or something. You know, it was like musty. Yeah. And so we're like, oh,
dude, what the fuck's that smell? And this kid I work with, he was trying to describe
it. He's like, you know, like that smell that you smell like in like Catholic churches when
they're doing like the thing. And this kid walks in, he's like, he's like, you say it
smells like a church in here? And I was like, yeah, that's what he said. And he's like,
well, like dirty bread, because everybody's their hand into the dirty bread. Dirty bread.
The funniest shit I ever heard in my life. You want to hear something? Okay. So when
I was in Scotland, I went to a church service and for communion, it's literally just like
one big loaf of bread and you go up and you rip off a piece. I love that. And then I don't
know what they called it, but it was like a big round dish. It was like yay deep and
it had wine in it. And you went up and you took a sip off. Like everybody took a sip
off of the same thing. Yeah. It's like, it's like one of the guinea pig with the balls
thing. It's like this. It's a giant one, a human sized one. All right. All right. Here
we go. You have to eat the whole thing. Yeah. Ow, motherfucker. I'm going to crack his
tooth on this. Oh my God. I don't like this. It's like chewing on wood chips, dude. Ow!
Yeah. I almost cracked my fucking tooth just now. I'm serious. Ew, bro. Bro, I'm not joking.
The old fucking spit tune. I wonder if that is plastic. Is that edible? Maybe you have
to cook them or something. It's like pasta. Actually, you probably have to. Let me see
that. Let me try and read symbols. Oh my God. Gang signs. Cancer and reproductive harm.
Oh shit. Population. Oh, it's from. Good morning. Dude, I think you have to cook this shit. I'm
serious. Google it. Google. It says crackers. Yeah, they crack my tooth almost. I'm serious,
bro. It's like legit plastic. There's no information on this. It's just like wax. It didn't taste
like anything. It's a little sus. Can you look them up? Do you have some of that in
my tooth? I got prawn in my tooth. I'm going to give this a one. No. That's generous. I'm
getting me to a point five. The one was generous. Give me a palate cleanse now. Are these regular
crackers or are these like shrimp flavored or something? Regular. All right. You bought
these at Albert Sons or what? Do you guys want to try these? Want to crack our teeth
on the corn nuts? Yeah. Do you want to get another bad one out of the way? Let's do one
more good one. And then because we still got a lot. Actually, we don't have very many good
ones left. Let's have a little joy in life. Okay, I guess I don't want to fucking. It's
the fact that it's a fucking undis. It's an undissected fish and it's gross. Crispy seasoned
anchovies with sesame. I'm not having it. Can I smell? I have to get the smell out of
the way. I'm going to smell the fucking cracker when I'll see. Do you have that sitting right
by your jacket? You might have to burn that thing after you're done. Would you spill on
it? Does that come? Oh, spit that shrimp cracker everywhere. Dude, we just ate raw pasta. I
felt like pretty sure it was like, you know, those washers on the nails that they put like
the sub sheeting on God houses. It's like the Asian version of that. And we just ate
it. Can I have bless? Oh, I have less than that. No. You take your portion and eat it.
You want a cracker too? I'm just going to get it the fuck over with. Let's get it over
with. All right. Cheers. That little man. Oh, dude. I don't want to try it. That scared
me. Try it. Oh, God, dude. Don't fucking puke. Holy. I had to get that out of my mouth, bro.
I can't do it. Try it. That's crazy. Try it. Wow. You nasty little folks. We were hoping
that was going to be a good one, too. God, smell. I can't get this back away from me
to burn it. Sound guy. I need you to take this away. Sweating right now. I'm not joking.
I'm not trying to be dramatic. Sweating. God, dude. That was disgusting. You know, when
we went to a little animals, when we went to the Asian market, they also had Balut,
which if you don't know what Balut is, Google that because it'll fucking give you nightmares.
This smells like the Manhattan River. It's probably part of the Manhattan Project. I
seriously I'm like getting like pale. I feel like I just got to throw it in and chew. Yeah,
I saw his reaction. That's fine. I didn't do that. Yeah, because you like weird shit
like this. Yeah. You liked it? Sound guy liked it. You tried it? The sound. This? Dude, it's
such a mental block for me. It is. Just throw it in and chew. That's all you got to do.
Can I have one of those? Full? Yeah. Sorry. Why are you spitting on me? I gave you that
one. Don't look at it, bro. Gross. Okay, don't show them. Sorry. It literally looks like
somebody threw up in there. I mean, it's almost throw up, but it's not. Dude, look at me.
I'm shaking. I'm serious. I can't do it. Do it. Yeah, you need to do it. Do it. Do it.
Do it. Don't be a bitch. I'm not a bitch. Oh, dude. I almost did it. I know I can't.
I can't. Why did you do it? I can't, dude. Do it. It's like on my fingers too. Why'd
you do that? Why'd you do this? I smell my fingers. Oh my God. Oh, you sicko. Dude, do
it. Throw it back. I've never been told to throw it back. Throw it back. You're going
to need that. Throw it back. Eat all the pieces. Oh Jesus. Here, I'll feed you. I don't want
it. Listen, can I spit it out if I don't like it? You have to chew at least 10 times because
we both, I ate the whole thing and he chewed the hell out of it. I was going to throw it.
You got to do 10 chews at least. At least. I'm shaking. Dude, how much time do we got?
We're going to sit here for 30 minutes on this one fucking dude. I could smell it on
around my face. Yeah. We'll go to something sweet after this or we'll do the corn, the
Bob Poway. Yeah. Can we burn that bag too? Did you try it for real? Get it in there.
Why does it matter? Are you trying to get it in there? Quality. Free speech. Quality.
It's about teamwork. We all did it. Quality. Get it done. Do it. And the reason I was going
to chew 10, 10 chew, chew, chew. Are you serious? Why would you fucking tell me that? I waited
until you put it in your mouth. I'm sweating. Can I get water or something? Fuck. I was
waiting for so long to do that so I can say that. God. Don't look at it. God. Sorry. That
wasn't even 10 chews, you bitch. The fuck is that thing? Slobby little Sally. I don't
know. It's on you now. Keep spitting shit everywhere. I'm freaking out right now. I'm
getting hives. I feel like I'm getting hives. Yeah. Drink the gourd or the ginger will cleanse
your palate. Yeah. Drink that fucking so much better. Drink that dirt water. Dude, I don't
know how people do like these crazy like Google Sastraming. Please real quick. I don't get
how people do all these crazy eating challenges. I have such a mental barrier for it and I
don't know how to do it. It fucks with me and it keeps me up at night. What is Sastraming?
How do you even spell that? It's S-U-S. S-U-S-T-R. Right here. Fish in a can. Oh my God. Oh yeah.
Disgusting. This is the fermented, the fucking herring that I told you. I was like, I need
to order that fucking herring. No. Yeah. That's Sastraming. Is it good? Oh, I think we're
trying, sorry, we're trying the the boy bling corn, corn nuts. It looks like. Fire. Are
they? Yeah, not as hard as corn nuts either. Really? Yeah. That's one. That's corn nuts
I have with corn nuts is they're hard as shit. Break your fucking teeth on them. They remind
me of you. You're hard as shit all the time. That's why his head hurts. Oh, these are good.
Thank you. These are like hella good actually. I need this whole bag. I just keep picturing
the herring in my mouth. Fuck that shit is. Hey, let's just stay on those. Okay. All
right. So show the show the audience what those were. Because those are good. You're
going to want to fucking buy these. Yeah, they are actually good. They're barbecued.
Give them like a eight. I give them a seven and a half. They're good. They're a good snack.
Because what do you rate the dude in terms of a corn nut, dude, I'm going 10. Oh, if
we're writing corn nuts. Yeah, I like those better than Steve went for more. The I need
some joy in my life. Oh, the fucking diaper food we just ate. Yeah, that shit was a zero
for me. Yeah, the anchovy was. Oh, the Gerber baby food we just ate. That tasted like rotten
fish. Yeah, that was really gross. All right. Those are those are good. Yeah. What? Gross.
Do you want the pork liver pate or the imitation roast duck? I'm rubbing it in my eyes too.
Can we get some sand and sanitizer? Really? Should we try your cock? Or your cock? That
last macaque last? Yeah, it's probably we could try this sweet, sour and spicy. Oh,
dude. Dude, I can't get through. Dude, I was going to throw up. That's why I had to spit
it out. I was trying to eat it and be like a good boy. Yeah, I was trying to be a real
one about it like Jay was. And I just couldn't do it. I kept visualizing fucking full ass
fish eyeball. You felt an eyeball wide. I mean, I felt like I did. You're my you play
mind games. It's like I do in my head. I was my you got to you have to you have to break
imagine me doing the root, dude, or balut. Yeah, you would die. Dude, it's black inside,
dude. It's fucking disgusting. You're eating like I didn't tell you what's in balut or
what balut is. But if you Googled it, you saw. But it is a fertilized duck egg that
if they do something with it, it's like rotten, like baby duck. And there's a there's an actual
baby duck inside. Well, it was a little Donald. This is like a like a delicacy. That's basically
nightmare fuel for Americans. It's crazy. That's what they call it. I talked to my assistant
about it, her husband's from the Philippines, and he loves it. But he was describing balut
to her. And he was saying that because some people will crack the egg and then they'll
just slurp the juices around the duck and not actually eat the duck. But he's he's like,
I eat it all. I just don't eat the beak or the feathers. He just nips around the beak.
See I asked him, he holds his leg. Does he like just chew it all? And then when he feels
the beak spits that out and then spits out the feathers or like, I don't I don't know.
I don't know. I'm like, dude, it's really gross. I'd rather there's more corn nuts. I'd rather
chew on their fire, huh? Boy, boy, boy, boy. Bow, bowing. I'd rather chew on staples than
eat. Fucking ducks, like that baby ducks. Okay. Fuck, dude. Can we get something? Can
we hurry? Let's just do both those fucking cans. One back to back so we can just eat
good shit for the rest of the time. Sound guy. Toast. Can you get a piece of toast,
please? What the fuck is this for? For the imitation roast up. Oh, dude, is it like pieces?
I don't know. I think it is. It's just anticipation. Okay. Look, see how it's cut up? Here, hand
it to me. How much was that? Two ninety five will never get back. Steve's pissed. I am
also pissed. Nice. Dude, I'm not going to lie when it comes to. Use a toothpick to get the
blood out. That's it. Juicier. Fuck. Yep. Gushed on him. Gushed. That's liquid. He is my mom.
That doesn't sound good. He stopped. Man's stopped. Actually doesn't smell that bad.
Yeah. You also ate the whole entropy. Dude, my limit on Asian cuisine is like ramen and
sushi and bok choy and bok choy. Ew. No, it's too big. I'm not giving you a whole piece.
That's a piece of a fucking alien, dude. Dude, what the why is that so big? Oh, my God. That
made me angry. Serious. Fuck. I can't even put a Zen in. I don't want to ruin my Zen
or my Zen. I'm fucking dying right now. Holy shit. This does look. Ew. I hate how they
gave it. Look at this texture on the top. I hate how they gave it the texture. Like duck
skin. Oh, yeah. It's not real duck skin, huh? No, this is imitation duck. Guess how much
sodium is in there? It's probably 435 milligrams of sodium. That's like the fucking food from
the matrix, bro. It's like slop. Well, here's a fun fact. Literally everything in the rest
of the world you can get in a can. When I was in Scotland, so I was volunteering at
the rescue mission. I can't stop looking at it. A lot of people donate food and a lot
of it is canned food. You can literally get a cheeseburger in a can. Not shit in you.
Fuck, dude. Anything you want. I'm not joking, bro. It's like a flatter, slightly bigger
can and you open it up with a can opener and there's a fucking cheeseburger inside. What's
the bun like? I mean, it's pretty bland. It's not the best thing, but I tried it. Cylinder.
Cool. Yeah. All right. Yeah, let's portion that up. Let's make that feed a village. What?
It doesn't smell that bad. No, it smells like a giant cock, dude. Stinks after like a two
a day football practice. Let me see it. Dude, it seriously smells like a bag of dicks, dude.
Yeah. Looks like brine. It looks like dirty bath water is a brine. It actually looks like
a dog bowl after sitting in the sun for a fucking day or two. Dog water. You guys want
it on a cracker? It looks like hot dog water. Yeah, probably crackers. I'm going to stop.
Let's portion that up, though. But like village. Yeah, it's a little piece. Yeah. Those are
big. So big. Big enough. I feel ungrateful as an American. Yeah, for real. Yeah. Also
don't care right now because this is disgusting. All I can do is look at. I wasn't built for
this. All I can do is look at this food with discontent. I like sending out my own. Sound
guy. Why is mine bigger? You need to get your weight up, Rob. I just licked my fingers.
Okay. I'll tell you that. Why? Dude, this looks like fucking coral reef. It looks, it
looked fuck. We're gonna have to wash the table. Dude, we're gonna have to wash everything.
Oh, dude. It's too big. I'm gonna. You don't even know. It could just be salty. It could
taste like fucking salty tofu. Rob likes salty surprise. So he'll be fine. Really? Cheers,
guys. Salty Splatoon. This tastes like a chum bucket. Why do I wait? Is it gross? I
try. I try. OK, you said that. I don't even I trust even one. I trust you in this moment.
He's not fucking dying like he was. I know. But you said it's all right to the fucking
minnows that we know. It wasn't good. Yeah, I know. Horrible. Yeah. You're not even going
to notice. It tasted like demonic kind of for real. That is the look of it. Get it in.
I can't stop staring at it. Serious. That doesn't work on me. They actually did when
you were throwing up almost. OK, that's not that bad. I just my mouth is dry from the
cracker. Yeah, not that bad. OK, so now that liver like I'm going to get a ringworm or
something probably like a fucking. All right, now we're going for liver pate. Man, that
was interesting. I feel like I'm going to get some of the shit that's going to come
out that it came from Wuhan. Yeah, I feel like I'm going to get a tapeworm. None of
this is from China. That's what you think. The best way to import something would be
to import it to a country that imports to us. OK, based off your reaction. Anybody have
cats? You probably know what that looks like. Is that frisky's? Yep. Oh, my God. You can
see the underlayment of the lid. Can I smell it? Oh, dude, you can't smell that. OK, lighten
up on it. Seriously, for real. Lighten up on it. That shit looks fucking terrible. It's
a little thick layer. Seriously, laying it on thick, aren't you? Why are you laying it
on thick? X, X, communicate this can, please. Can I get a sniff? OK. Give it a little whiff,
bud. Oh, it smells like tuna. That does not smell like tuna. That was your upper lip,
Rob. All right, guys. So pork. Fucking cheater. No, put that down. That's for the dog. Yeah.
That's for all the dogs. Grab your square. Yeah, I saw it too. Fuck. You're too late
to the party, bro. Pork liver pate, everybody. It's got a fucking gob on there, that pork
liver mashed potato. You ate the whole thing, you sick fuck. Whole thing. I just wanted
it to be one bite, bro. Is it bad? Just tell me. It's not as bad as you're thinking. Whole
thing. Throw it back. I don't know. I'm not even trying to do this to be funny. Like I
seriously, Jay knows I actually have like this phobia. Yeah, I will say it looks like
Fancy Feast. I do. I do wish that it was possible to. It's fine. Eat that bread a little faster.
Who the fuck is here? Yeah, I don't know. Somebody's here. What did you say? Continue.
What? When I was trying to eat it, I wanted it to be possible to eat that bread faster,
but I couldn't. Really? Yeah. The aftertaste is not great at all. Okay. Do it. Get that
cat food in there. You got this. You put on a fat layer, you piece of shit. I swallowed
it. I swallowed it. I had to get it out. That's what I'm saying. You wish you could eat that
bread faster. Is it healthy for you? Portaliver? You think that's it's probably got to have
some healthy benefits or is it all processed and made in factory? That I have no idea.
I need it out. What's next? This is terrible. Yeah. Yeah. I have a I have the taste of shit
in my mouth. Corn nuts going. We should try it. We should try these. Yeah. So yeah, try
to eat some of those. But this is Lay's fried crab flavored chips. Probably going to be
bomb. I do like crab. That's one thing I do like just like everyone and their mother likes
crabbing a lot. You know, here we go. Wow. That smells actually very fishy. Hold up.
You get a whiff. Smells like you. What? Now I don't really want to try them. I swear everything
that we've eaten today is fishy. Like sun baked fish. Like top water fish. You know
what I mean? The ones that lay sideways in the water. That's enough. It legit tastes
like an imitation crab chip. I only want one. It's more of these fucking corn. Yeah, God.
Give me some of these. I want more of these. More of that processed plastic. Dude. God,
those are gross. Who the fuck eats this, dude? Not being mean. I'm just fucked, dude. Actually
like a lot of different kinds of food. But everything that I've tried minus these fucking
blessed corn nuts, dude. God bless it. I feel like Korean Jesus fucking touched these ones,
dude. Well, the plus side is we're done with all the crazy. What are these? Yeah, this
is macaque is. It's a mystery what macaque tastes like. Yeah. I wish I could say anyways.
Let's open her up. Now I'm just scared. I feel like. It's probably not even going to
be gross. Let me smell it. Those might be watch batteries. Yeah, it doesn't smell great.
Those are full of lithium. Yeah, I can't read hieroglyphics. It doesn't smell great actually.
I know. Oh God. Ew. No, not in the duck juice. Don't use that one. Stop. What if that's like
candy blue? That's what they call macaque. Oh no. If J's. Yeah, good. We're not eat
all eaten one. I like that. OK, it's hard as a fucking rock. What the fuck is that sound?
Hey. Fucking shoot that thing off the table. Do you like pumpkin seed? I think there is
a seed. It's just a duck. It's a duck beak in there. I wouldn't be surprised, dude. Nothing
fucking surprised me anymore. Not after today. What the fuck is this? That's fine. Rob's like
that's my piece. Is this leaking? I know you are. Dude, props to like I don't. Super cultural
difference like a lot of this shit made me want to die. I want to get I want to give
a shout out to the real ones who actually eat this shit on the daily. Yeah. Yeah. Well,
if you grow y'all got strength, y'all got strength. I think it's a trap. Y'all got strength.
I feel like I'm getting hives. Seriously. Smells like sheet rock. That shit was hard
to cut. It was hella hard to cut. Has me concerned about this. We're supposed to eat. I don't
actually know. It's like in America, most people want the inner. My brother's robes
is like fucking my mouth. Yeah. You pro. That shit stinks. Sorry about your bowl. That's
fucking bad. We might eat the wrong part, Jay, because like in America, most people
want the innards of my cock. OK, that's true. That's the outer the gizzard of my cock. Would
you say the gizzard? You didn't you didn't you rub the liver on there? Yeah, but that's
better tasting than I just. Oh, hey, she's like, she's like, stressing me out. We have
one more thing to try and it's the good we got to already tried those. No, yes, we did
in the car on the way here. What what's wrong with that? Why does it? They were great. It's
like pistachio. Let's do it again. And time again. OK, we're going to end on a good note
with some crispy rice cookies. It just tastes like an anchovy again. I'm like, dude, like
I said, nothing surprises me after today. I feel like I had to burn all my clothes,
dude. They're just like absorbing everything that set fire. It smells like. One thing I
will say is every other country other than America packages their food like a fucking
G. Yeah, like I know it's possible to open it annoying is what it is itself is the preservatives.
They just fucking use like you're going to lose a net. Oh, lost one. Oh, you know, why,
Jay? It's probably because it's an import. They have to use like thicker plastics. Is
that peanut brittle? Is that what they meant to call it? It was. Cheers. Well, yeah, not
great. Oh, hard fucking sticking my teeth like when I pull up. I don't like that. Really?
I mean, I don't eat it, but it tastes like that. No, it tastes. Why does it taste like
a melon? It's a little ginger. Yeah, tastes like that root. No, that's like dirt. There's
bugs in here. Really? You're fucking with me. Got a couple crickets. Cricket. No, you're
not. Cricket legs, rice, sesame, cricket, coconut cream, peanut sugar, sugar, cricket. Oh, yeah.
This is decaf, by the way. So fuck off if you think I've been drinking it. Coffee all.
Yeah. Fucking fucking shit. Keep doing that. Rob's been having a rough one today. I don't
want that. Stop putting it on my side, too. You know, I don't want to like lean my hand
on my leg, but I don't want to touch my pants with my hands. Something smells fishy. You're
like this. Remember this? Yeah. It's gonna be good. Remember this? That's the secret
to a nitty handshake. I'm gonna go back to this. This seriously felt like I was gonna
actually break my back molar. I'm serious. That would have been in your spot. That one's
good. This one? It is good. Eating the anchovies. Maybe you want to throw this at myself. I
feel like everything that just happened in this episode gave me bad gut health. No, I
feel like all that shit's healthy for you. Like a straight up fish with sesame seeds
on it and some flavor that didn't help. It tasted still like I just picked from the ocean.
Got some fish eyes. You're such a dirtbag because I was trying to eat it and then you
had to say that after. Good job. Keep breaking stuff. Why are you doing it again? Why is
it doing that? I don't know. Do it again. Yeah, you broke it. Wait, what was that? It doesn't
matter. Shit's wigging out. That was fun but not enjoyable. I'm sure it was fun for everybody
else. Yeah, wait till the next time we do something crazy like this. Everything was
definitely fit for human consumption. I just felt like I was eating spider legs for half
of this shit. It was different for sure. But there's nothing wrong with different. No,
there is. This wasn't my thing. No, there's everything wrong with different. It makes
you want to puke. Yeah, but if you're born and raised in a culture that eats that, like
on the reg, that's what you know. Yeah, you're not wrong. Like you're raised on fucking chicken
nuggets and cheeseburgers. That's what we know. So all this shit is weird. Dude, we
should try. It doesn't mean it's bad. There's a site. I can't remember what site it is,
but you can get crazy flavored things. We should try to have a good one. Like the fart
flavored jelly beans? No, we should do the jelly beans. I'm serious. Fart flavored, fart
bubble flavored jelly beans. Those are the fucking Harry Potter flavored jelly beans.
We should do that though. There's like a little wheel you spin. I got a fucking jelly bean
that tastes like Dobby's sock. It's like Voldemort's head. Voldemort's liver spotted head. Lokey,
I keep the liver spotted hands off my mother. She's a saint. Smell in the. Also, if you
guys are listening this far, tell us if you want to see anything specific. Yeah, you'd
like Robert to eat. Specifically Robert. No, that you would. You could DMJ or myself. Yup.
For what you do. I don't want to eat anything else like that. I seriously don't even know
like what I'm doing here. I mean, that's about the people though. Who am I? Who are you?
The cereal bowl with milk full of those crab chips. I mean, it's just like, all your teeth
are coming with it. Yeah. If they want you to integrate some popcorn into broken up pieces
of the sardine chips. Imagine you didn't know that that was going to happen and you still
had your tooth ache. Oh dude, I would have died. I would have. That would have pissed
me off. I would have broke it off. Yeah. The plastic chips. The plastic chips. Yeah. Dude,
I feel like you got to cook them. I'm serious. Something. It's really, really mind boggling
that they are like legit plastic. Didn't they say that was a candy too? No, no, it's not
a candy. It's the prawn chips. The crackers. Prawn crackers. Let me look at this up real
quick. I want to know how stupid we really are. I just... All right. Prawn crackers.
Get your fucking fishy fingers off me, dude. Get your dirty fish sticks away from me. How
to eat dragonfly prawn chips crackers. Prawn crackers. Oh yeah. All this shit's FDA approved,
huh? I don't want to log in. I just want to watch it. That looked very different than
what we ate. They probably cooked them. That's what I'm saying. Shit. They probably expand,
right? Why wouldn't they tell you fucking destructions? It's like those BBs that you
put in the Nerf gun that you got to hydrate in water for 10 hours. Airsoft? Yeah. I felt
like I was showing on Airsoft BBs with that thing. That shit was crazy, bro. I've never
ate anything. We're going to look like a bunch of idiots, dude. Fuck. Doesn't even matter,
dude. I ain't never ate a fucking possum. I've never even heard of a prawn cracker in
my life. I'm uncultured. It's a prawn quackle. What's a prawn of time? I don't know, man.
Whatever it is, I'm not down for it. You drink some more of that fucking radioactive melon
juice. I feel like I'm going to get hypothermia from it. Dude, I feel like all the components
in those sodas or something, they made gas out of it one time. They're like, yeah, the
gas, yeah, I can't do that no more. I feel like I ate live bait. It's a fucking catfish
chum. I feel like everything I'm seeing... I bet I could have caught a catfish off everything
out of those cans. Put it on the end of a reel? Geez, really? Yeah, just fucking...
Catch a trophy fish with that. That's what I'm saying. You probably catch a mean catfish
with it, dude. They eat some nasty stuff. Look, right there, shrimp chips. It's like
the same thing, but they expand. But they're like crispy. It's like expanded plastic. That's
what I'm saying, dude. 100%, I think you're supposed to... I think we ate them raw. Straight
up. That just shows how dumb we are. It's not dumb. It's just like we didn't know. Are
we supposed to fry them up? They look like Pringles too. Should throw one in the microwave
real quick for a minute. No. Yeah, I want to see what it does. Should we hydrate it?
Put a little dash of water? I don't think so. They got food wrapped up in the center
of that, huh? Yeah, look at them, dude. That's 100% it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's it. Oh,
bro. We ate them without cooking them. We are ridiculous. Serve at a party in a big bowl.
So they're probably good and you can probably put some salt on them and shit. Yeah, you're
supposed to fry them up. Like saute? So you could fry them in cannoli oil. You turn them
into... Cannoli? Oh, the cannoli oil? I wish we had some cannolis. That sounds so weird.
Some prawn cannolis? No. Anchovy flavored, mackerel flavored cannolis. Stop. Stop. It's
gross. That dude eating sea foam? Huh? Oh, plate? Oh. We should actually try that. What?
Sautéed? Cook them in some oil. Yeah, because I've had those. I didn't know that was what
those were though. Shit, it hurt my teeth, man. Yeah, definitely don't eat them raw.
I almost had to take a trip to the old Dennis. You would think that they would at least tell
you. Or maybe it's just common sense to cook it up. Yeah, because those look nothing. I
assumed that's what was in there because those look fluffy. Yeah. Crunchy, fluffy. These
are just decorations. I'm appalled at what happened. What'd you say? I feel like my face
has looked the same since we started. You guys have not been excited about this episode,
but it's episode 10. It is 10. It's not that many, but we've got to do something cool.
We've got this shit on in the background, the bowling. Whoever you think you are, I
am. Have you seen that video? Can you pull it up? We're going to leave you hanging. What
is it? Just say bowling, Selly. I bet you that'll bring it up. C-E-L-L-Y. Yeah, it's
literally I knew it was going to come up too. Oh shit. Oh, what the? Damn. It fucking worked.
You can microwave them. Wow. Hold on. Let me take my Zen out. Do you want to try it?
That's wild. Did you put anything in here, sound guy? Oh, a little bit of oil with them.
That's why it's oily. Motherfucker, it's hot as shit too. God damn, don't touch that. I
really want to try it. Don't touch hot oil. Don't you touch it. That video is hot on the
bottom. I trust that it's good. Jesus Christ. Can you get it? Did you get it, bud? It's
definitely better. I'm good. Try it. I'm like, he's going to try it like a dog. Let me try
it. Just eat from the center. Don't eat the edge because it's not cooked all the way on
the edge. It's being a little panache. Little plesuagge. Just eat that part. It tastes a
little pronny. Why is everything so fishy all the time? They like their fish. It's
not even that it's gross. It's just, dude, it like fucks with me because that slight
fish flavor made me think of the fuck that damn. You know what I'm trying to say? I'm
a little lost for words. The sardines. Yeah. Those were hella fishy. Those fucking artichoke
things we ate or whatever they are. All right. Didn't care for it. Watch this. What a fucking
nerd, dude. He's kind of a G though. I don't even understand it. Peter Weber. God damn
it. I did it. What do you want? 300? Oh, probably. We won. He takes it seriously. Well, yeah,
if you're a pro, you should. Yeah. He's popping his collar on the old bowling alley. Yeah.
You know, he partied hard after that too. I wonder how much they get paid. He got to
bed by 10 o'clock instead of eight that night. I mean, this was the eighties and I think
this one, they said 150 K 150 K back in the eighties and that was a lot. Yeah. That's
like a million now. Probably. Yeah. Back in the eighties with 150 K you could, that's
generational wealth. I saw a video actually like considering the house back then was like
$8,000. I mean, 150 K is fucking generational wealth for what you could do with that. Yeah.
It said, I don't remember a year, 1984 or something. The year of, what's his name? Watergate.
No, fucking the first movie star president. What's his name? Nicholas Cage. Reagan. Oh.
Oh yeah. He was a movie star? He was a TV actor. Oh, I didn't. The average salary, I
don't remember what it said. The average salary was no. No. Oh, I know what you're talking
about where they compared the average household salary of the middle class to the real estate.
Yeah. And then what it is today. And it was like what a house costs. Like their yearly
income would be like $3,000 more a year. So they could basically pay their house off in
like four years. Yeah. Hey, you fucker. Yeah. And then he was saying that middle class like
is in today's day and age is 174,000 a year, which will barely, honestly with the credit,
you could barely get a half a million dollar house with that nowadays because you just
wouldn't be able to afford it with the interest rates and what you're paying in property taxes
and all that fucking horseshit. It's all a nightmare. Get me started, Jay. Sorry. Me
fucking started. Well, good thing that we're wrapping it up. Yep. Whoever you think you
are. Cause I said, I wouldn't politic you hose. I am straight politic and you don't
want to hear it. All the taking. You don't want what I got in there. Steve is knowledgeable
as AF. Fringe theory. Daddy is what you might want to call me. Yeah. Suck that. Don't. All
right. Anyways, it's not consensual. Yeah. Don't suck it. We told you that we were going
to eat some weird things that we typically don't eat. And we ate some weird fuck. I feel
like I have to go take a shower after this. I got to do something, dude. Yeah. I got to
go tear my skin off. I got a fucking I'm going to go play a fish. You guys want sushi for
dinner? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know about now. I'm down for it. Yeah. I like sushi.
We can probably do sushi. Sushi. It is sushi bake. Sushi bake. Sushi bake. All right. Thanks.
Thanks guys. Fuck you. Fuck off. Eat shit. Go fuck yourself. I'm going to mute your ass.
Go fucking sit down and do nothing. It's the weekend. You're not very good at that. Later
guys. Stab him, Jay. Later. It's all jacked. You jacked it up. Fucked it off, dude. Yeah,
you broke it. All right. Fucked it. Later, guys. Thank you again. I love you. Till next
time. Bye bye. Bye bye.