Tits hit the drum button
You know it'd be good if I could fucking hit the right button
Good morning Vietnam
That's it uh
No, that's not what I was gonna say to you. Good morning, Charlie
Yeah, he has a little more enthusiasm when he said good morning Vietnam. Did Robin Williams said that the fucking shit?
Rob that is my Scott. No Bobby Williams
It was Bobby will Michael Scott. Yeah, Bobby's will yeah shout out office best TV show on and
Nowadays at an age
I don't know bro new girl is pretty fucking funny. I feel like the office is just so good, dude
It's but that's true. It's true. It's actually the best show of all time and if you disagree you can fuck off
Yeah, who do you think plays a better Michael Scott?
Ricky Gervais, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Dude? Ricky Gervais is one of the funniest people in existence, bro
Have you seen an idiot abroad? No
Did they name it after you could have cheers my IQ wasn't so goddamn high
I am the shamelessest big idiot in the ass. Yeah, bring it to me please
Untie it
Is this a, please till you put it out there
That's for all you slurpers out there.
And approach her
Do it
Do you put this out there
Yeah
Yeah.
Bob's choking.
You saved it
Oh man.
So you ever been stuck in the dryer before?
J Assistant
me
It's a real question.
Oh, but your mom has.
Hey, what did I say?
I would never talk about your mom like that.
Very disrespectful.
My mom would fuck you up.
Yeah.
Jen would fuck your shit right up.
Yeah.
What do you think Teresa could do?
Teresa is a very sweet lady.
So yeah.
I wonder if my mom has ever been in a fight.
Do you know if your mom has?
Has your mom?
I don't know.
Actually, I feel like Teresa's little bar fight.
That'd be fucking hilarious.
So see, just because I can't picture.
I can't picture my mom doing it.
Imagine your mom getting in a bar fight.
Two squirrels fighting over a nut.
Sorry.
That was a wrong reference.
I love you mom.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
Oh, you didn't mean it.
No, we all say things we don't mean.
Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
Yeah.
Anyways, have you been stuck in a dryer before?
No, that's good.
I haven't.
I haven't either.
Really?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yes.
You're asking me a lot.
You have and you want to share that experience.
There's always this thing going around where people are, I don't get the fad.
People were getting stuck in dryers and they were yelling for their step siblings and stuff.
I was like, what?
What does that even, how does that even correlate?
Anybody can help you out of the dryer.
First of all, how do you get stuck in the dryer?
You have to work real hard.
Why does it have to be your stepdad that comes a good thing?
I don't know.
That's what I'm saying.
No, I know.
I'm saying.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
Anyways, it's an anomaly.
We'll never know.
Yeah.
It's a phenomenon.
What's an anomaly?
It's a phenomenon.
Don't you think the more appropriate person to send would be like a maintenance man or
like a fire?
Yeah.
Fireman firefighter.
Yeah.
What about the cable guy?
Sometimes he can help with things.
Larry the cable guy.
I mean, not him specifically.
Yeah.
Yeah, it could be anybody, honestly.
It doesn't have to be just your step siblings.
That's weird in my opinion.
It's a little suss.
It's almost a little sexual.
It's a little suss.
I don't like it.
The only advice you really want from a step sibling is how to get your real parents back
together.
Yeah.
She's like, oh my God.
I'm like, hey bro, I really love you, dude.
I don't like your mom though.
My mom's way better.
It's like the parent trap.
Yeah.
I was just going to say, what's that movie?
The parent trap into the dryer.
Parent trapped in dryer.
Lindsay Lohan.
Yeah.
Lindsay Slohan.
It's literally just going to say that.
Lindsay Slohan.
You fuck.
Slohan.
Rob, show them the slow hand.
No.
Just show them.
What is a slow hand?
You have a can in front of you.
Give them a taste.
Yeah.
Show them the slow hand.
I'm not doing that.
This is a family friendly podcast.
Not even.
Yes.
Family friend.
If you're a family sitting on the couch putting this shit on, get the fuck out.
Keep it fucking clean around here.
It's a fucking family friendly podcast.
This podcast is so family friendly that we requested our family does not watch it.
Yeah.
They don't listen.
It's like the, it's like the, when you tell your kid, Hey, don't put your hand on the
hot stove.
Cause it's, I told Steve, he added one of the clips on his Facebook and I was like,
can you check if you're friends with my mom?
I was like, if so, can you delete the clip or can you take her off?
Terry?
Nope.
Sorry, Teresa.
I had to unfriend you.
Yeah.
It's nothing personal.
I actually, I actually think I blocked her too.
Just so she couldn't find it.
Yeah.
You, you blocked my mom on social media.
I didn't mean to.
It just happened.
It's smart.
I glitched.
I've thought about it.
Your mom too.
My mom.
We talk like this around your mom.
I know, but it's still weird.
Yeah, exactly.
How do you think I feel?
I don't even curse around my mom.
Yeah.
It's extra weird for you.
I'm not like, Hey mom, how the fuck are you?
I wish I could, but I can't.
You can.
I can.
I just don't want to.
I feel like she wouldn't be happy.
My mom does not like that.
She's not like weird about it, but it's just very, it's like if you're cussing around a
four year old, you just don't do it.
Nope.
Yeah.
So, um, it was just funny.
I was like, you have to delete my mom now.
He's like, okay.
That's fair.
I did.
I went right to Facebook when he said that.
I'm like, that's actually a brilliant idea.
And your mom has seen the potty.
Yeah, she has.
She thinks it's hilarious.
Christine.
Yeah.
I told her not to watch it.
She did.
Same.
I thought it was gas.
My mom now bugs me.
She's like, when's the next episode coming?
I'm like, God, it's even weird.
It's like settle down.
You fiends.
Yeah.
Come on.
Chill.
Yeah.
Dude, tell Jenna to chill out with that shit.
Throw a patch on.
Fucking dude, Jay just got a tooth pulled.
Yeah, I did.
Did you get a cut or pulled?
So real.
So peep, peep this shit.
I'm like, you got that DDS.
So a long time ago, I had a couple fillings put in and they were metal fillings.
Granted, this was like 10 plus years.
Is your eye twitching?
Yeah, it is.
The left one?
Yep.
Yeah.
It's because you got 22 ounces of that 32 ounces of that trans-tachy.
Trans-tachy.
Anyways.
Dude, I had a baby one this morning.
You did?
Yeah, I did.
It was a little 16.
A long time ago, I had metal fillings put in a couple of cavities.
And I didn't know this, but over time, those metal fillings can crack your teeth from hot,
cold, spans, contracts.
Talking, talking a lot.
I guess I never really knew that.
Makes sense, but I never knew that.
So when I went to the dentist last year to get a cleaning, he said the metal fillings
look like they're starting to crack your teeth.
And I was like, oh, fuck, that sucks.
I didn't feel any pain or anything, so it was fine.
And he's like, we'll just go in and remove them, put new ones in.
Easy.
Yeah, chill.
Standard shit.
Yada, yada, yada.
Squeezy.
Does it all.
And then the last one he does, like a month ago, ever since that one, I can't chill.
I can't chew on that side.
It's fucking killing me.
So I went back and forth to him five or six times.
Just getting your wallet pilfered.
Pretty much.
And then he was like, we're going to put a crown on it.
So we go through that process.
And he puts a temporary crown on.
And I got to wait a week for the permanent one to come in or something.
And then he puts that one on.
In that meantime, it was fucking killing.
I go to another dentist for a second opinion, because this is like getting fucking, it's
bullshit.
He tells me that I never needed a crown to begin with.
I needed a root canal because it's cracked like bad.
Thank God for lawyers.
To the jaw.
Well, so he didn't know that until he went in and he was about to do the root canal.
And he numbed me up and has this tool that he like sticks in there.
And it tells him how far that crack goes.
But he can't do it until I'm numb because he's got to put like a shit ton of pressure
on it.
And he puts it in.
He was like, you got to have like emergency surgery.
Like this has got to come out.
I can't fix it.
And a root canal is just like a temp fix and it's going to be fucked up.
You're going to have to pull it eventually.
So I fucking go to the surgery center and there, since it was last minute, they can't
put me under to remove it because I ate breakfast and drank and they don't want you to eat or
drink for like 12 hours prior to anesthesia.
Yeah, I couldn't do it.
Yeah.
So they fucking put me down.
The doctor's got to eat.
They just fucking numb me up more.
And then I got this one chick nurse like over here, like holding the bottom of my jaw.
Your gullet.
She's fucking.
It's fucking literally, dude.
Literally.
The dude, the doctor surgeon dude is in there with this fucking thing.
And like, dude, I've never felt like so much pressure.
Like, well, that's dude was fucking cranked into the pressure in your mouth area, right?
You kind of like that.
Yeah.
Like, you know, like, no, nevermind.
Pause.
I'm not going to say that life.
Don't go there.
This is family friendly.
Keep it up.
Rob, I'm going to euthanize you.
Yep.
All right.
I'm sorry.
I felt that kind of pressure though.
No, it was crazy.
And then like, I mean, it was like four minutes and it was out.
Like it was quick.
I didn't realize he was done.
Did you hear that fucker squeaking like a hinge when he was pulling it out?
Dude, he was like, he's like, that's in there good.
And then he like made, he's like, I had to like come at it from some angle to like get
it to pop.
And yeah, it's fucking crazy.
You just have a big asshole when you're where a tooth was now, huh?
Yes.
Angles are what makes it pop.
Well, like the pain is still there, but it's a very different pain and that pain should
go away, which is great.
Cause you're not going to lie to you.
I wanted to fucking murder people.
Yeah.
Tooth pain.
I've never really experienced like tooth pain.
It's horrible.
Fuck that.
Like shitty, shitty experience.
But you, you seem like your spirits are up.
I feel better.
Yeah.
I do feel better.
So that's a plus.
You haven't hit me as much this week.
So that's good.
Nope.
That's how you can tell I'm feeling better.
I'm feeling better when I disobey stripes.
You're right across the forehead with a belt.
Yep.
Crucify my B hole.
I can punish that ass.
Hey, yep.
I don't want my butt punished anymore.
Oh man.
Disgusting.
Yeah.
When's the last time you had a tooth pulled?
Maybe.
Uh, actually.
Have you had a tooth pulled?
I have.
Oh really?
Yeah.
So it's the only cavity I've ever had in my life.
And I was a naughty boy when I was younger and it put me in a place I didn't have much
control over what I got to choose for myself and what I didn't.
What do you mean by that?
The old Who's Cow.
The what?
The Who's Cow.
Who's Cow.
The clink.
Oh.
The pain to send to the Who's Cow.
One of them.
Yeah.
So they don't.
One of them fell and slumbered apart.
They were like this.
They were like, see that guy?
To the Who's Cow.
Get him the fuck out of here.
To the Who's Cow.
Get him a couple to think about it.
Did you think about what you did while you were at it?
Oh yeah.
Yeah I did.
How long were you there?
Uh, two and a half from 18 to 20.
Yeah.
Terrible.
I didn't know that.
I guess I didn't know that Steve.
Yeah.
Interesting.
You didn't know that?
I feel like I knew something.
Maybe I like knew it, but like.
Yeah.
Never talked about it.
Well I don't really, I don't talk about it too much.
Not that I'm embarrassed by it.
Like everybody makes mistakes and the people that shine through in life are the ones that
learn from them, move forward and make better choices with their lives.
Do a 180?
What I chose to do and when I talk to people about it, they always think I'm lying because
they're like, dude, you do not seem like anybody who's ever even looked at a place like that.
That's like how I reacted when you told me.
Yeah.
I was like, ew, I'm going to judge you now forever.
You're not my friend.
You're not my dad anymore.
So the way that the prison systems like monitor their money is so strenuous and like I've
never heard of someone getting a root canal when they're locked up.
They just pull that fucker.
And it was terrible, dude.
Like, I don't even like getting my blood drawn because I'm looking at this person like you're
taking something from me.
Yeah.
That shit's mine.
I like tattoo needles, but I don't like regular needles.
That's good.
Same.
Another funny story.
So they take you through what they call processing when you first get there so they can like
classify you and they basically like run through your family history, your family's drug history,
your family's mental history, and then all of your personal within those categories.
And then they take your crime and then they have a grid based off that information on
how likely you are to re-offend once you're out and how likely you are to continue to
like engage in criminal activity while you're in.
And based off that number, they basically...
Yeah, it's pretty detailed.
Yeah.
They actually like the government invested a lot of money to get this information.
They had Northwest University put it out and it's called the LSI assessment.
And basically the number that they get out of that, you times that number by two and
that's the percentage that you're likely to re-offend.
And age...
Is it pretty accurate?
Yeah.
Pretty accurate?
Well, I would say this.
It is inside the people that decide not to control themselves.
Yeah.
Which when you take psychology into factor, I mean, you can be even more accurate on what
type of person is more likely to not control themselves.
Yeah.
So, because of my age and all the surrounding factors that I just listed off, my LSI as
an 18 year old was 47.
Damn, really?
47 out of what?
Out of 50.
47 out of 50.
Yeah, because you times it by two.
So 48 is physically the highest you can get for what that test allows.
Yeah.
There's no 49 or 50.
So my likelihood, all these experts say of re-offending is 94%.
And that was 14 years ago.
Fake news.
Good for you.
Apparently.
Fake news, dog.
Congrats, dog.
Yep.
You beat me to it.
Your boy beat the scientist.
You beat the system, bitch.
He beat the cyst.
I did.
Yeah.
How is your cyst actually?
I don't have cysts.
Your cyst is good now, right?
I put some cream on it and cleaned it up.
I don't have a cyst.
Cleaned up the cyst, Bob.
Glad to hear it.
You got cyst-eric ovies.
I don't have ovaries.
Steve said he was ovulating the other day.
I was like, what?
No.
See, Rob didn't have ovaries until he continued to drink fucking tap water.
I don't drink...
Yep.
Sterile.
This is actually tap water.
Is it really?
Yeah.
It's fast.
Rob's got a sterile minge.
So let's talk about convenience, Rob.
I like convenience.
Hey, hey, I'm the king of convenience.
Yeah, we'll start drinking tap water then improve it.
Jay fucking loves Amazon.
Hey, shout out Jeffy Bay.
Send me a loan.
Yeah.
Give me a bill or so.
Yeah.
Put my cash up on this whole podcast.
Just put it in the frame the whole time.
Dude.
Help.
I'm sorry to go fund me and just single link it to Jeff Bezos' PR.
They're like, what the fuck is this?
What were you saying about convenience?
Oh yeah.
I'm the king of convenience.
I understand.
Can I hit that?
King Kong?
But over time, I have realized that convenience in some ways can be unhealthy.
Detrimental.
And it's something I didn't fully think about before I met Nicole and had a family.
Because when you're by yourself, it's just you.
You make all your choices.
You think about yourself and only yourself.
Once I met Nicole and was like, okay, I actually need to start thinking of...
What the fuck did you put in that, bro?
That was the harshest one I've ever hit in my life.
You're welcome.
He's like, nightmare, nightmare.
I had to think, okay, I want to be around for her and Lucas and our kids as long as
I can.
But with convenience, I can't fucking go eat Taco Bell every single night.
That's going to kill me.
You got to provide for your ting.
Yeah.
You got to provide for the ting.
Got to bring the thing for the ting.
So you start thinking about those things and looking at food is a massive thing.
The FDA is fucking a joke of shit.
Oh yeah.
It's a crock of shit.
They're honestly a bag full of drippy cunts.
Yeah, literally.
Rob, so Rob bought some bread to make Sammy cheese.
Hey, really quick.
Shout out RFK for putting the financial fucking hurt on the FDA.
It's valid.
That right there deserves a vote.
Yep.
Basically RFK Jr. came in and was like, you want to sterilize people with what you let
in water, I'll dick slap you on your face.
And he did it.
And we were like, I don't want it.
And on top of that, my favorite thing that ever could happen to an establishment ran
by the US government is for them to be embarrassed.
Because their existence is embarrassing.
Anyways.
So Rob, I told Rob, I was like, dude, how many ingredients are in that bread?
Because Nicole was actually making some bread.
There was like 13.
There was a shit ton of ingredients in that bread.
Dude, the one that bothers me the most is xanthan gum.
Yeah.
Why?
That shit doesn't need to be, there's so much shit that doesn't need to be in the food.
It takes like three or four ingredients to make bread and it's delicious.
They got all that flour and they're like, nope, need something to bond it.
We need red dye number 14.
We need Bondo.
Yeah.
Bondo.
We need Bondo.
We need some of that fiberglass too.
Make that shit sticky.
Put some Bondo hardener in there.
Fucking.
There's like paint thinner and shit in it.
Anyways, it's like, I'm like looking at it, I'm like, what the fuck is paint thinner number
five?
You're right though.
Yeah.
That's the convenience.
Like it's not convenient to fucking make your own bread.
Yeah, this is 1800s.
It's not convenient.
No.
But convenience isn't always healthy.
You know?
Yeah.
The coolest thing ever is when Nicole made that butter.
Bro.
The buttle.
She made the homemade butter.
I literally, I have a little bit left.
I used the rest in breakfast this morning.
It was fire.
I made some bomb ass biscuits and gravy.
There's this restaurant.
Yeah.
You missed out on biscuits and gravy this morning.
I know.
You did.
You slapped on the hand you're like.
Ow.
You missed out.
He said fuck.
I know dude.
It was okay.
Bomb.
It's okay.
It is okay.
He was handling biz.
I'm just going to make you feel bad about it, but it's okay.
He was handling biz.
The biz.
I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I did a good thing.
Hey.
Yeah, you did.
You did.
You're a good man.
Fuck that 94%.
Hey.
And on top of that, I had an opportunity to eat my leftovers because I left them in a
particular someone's fridge.
There you go.
Wait, what were the...
Was it Applebee's?
From Olive Garden.
You're like, wait, what were those leftovers?
They were Olive Garden, right?
They were Applebee's.
It was.
Dude, it was Applebee's.
I sucked down so many breadsticks.
I don't generally fuck with Applebee's.
It was a...
$2 margaritas?
No, dude.
It was literally a circumstance.
But the funny thing is, so I was sleeping and this very nice person, and I mean that
very nice...
Angel of a person.
Yeah.
Woke me up because she was hungry.
And I was like, yeah, would you want me to cook something?
And she's like, no, like, can we order something?
Yeah.
But I think everywhere's closed.
She's like...
Yeah, because what time is it?
Dude, it was 1145 and I was dead.
It was midnight.
I was dead in my eyes too.
And I'm like...
You're like having to hold them open.
I was just trying to be so helpful, dude.
And I'm just like dead.
She's like this.
Sorry.
And she was hungry.
So she was getting frustrated because I was taking a minute to like think about it because
my brain is just like, oh, dude, my Friday night was so savage.
But we don't talk about Friday.
No, it was hilarious because I was like, I was like, I think I found a place because
she just told me to order whatever.
She's like, you know what I like?
Anything?
Yeah.
She's like, you know what I like?
Just order it.
I'm like, all right.
And then I go to order it.
She's like, wait, what are you getting?
Don't you like how women do that?
It's honestly, I don't mean this in a rude way.
Like in a warm way, it's comical.
It's funny.
It cracks me up.
Just the quirkiness of it.
But she's like, wait, what are you getting?
I was like Applebee's and she just like side-eyed me.
I was like, dude, nowhere else is open.
This is you said to order.
Yeah.
No.
And I know she's not going to eat fast food.
That's a good thing.
Yeah.
Me and Jordan got Taco Bell twice yesterday.
I love.
No, it's just funny.
We went.
Yeah, you did.
I'm not.
I'm not hating on it.
No, I'm just.
You won't accept it.
Shout out, Jordan.
Thanks for the T bill.
But the side-eye was so funny, dude, because she was being so serious, dude.
And I just died laughing because it makes me think of you and me.
What?
When we just side-eyed.
Oh, yeah.
She did that.
She's like, dude, and the expression in her eyes was like, why the fuck are you making
me eat Applebee's?
Because you woke me up at 1145.
He was like this.
Yeah.
Was it good, though?
Oh, yeah.
Would you have shrimp scampi?
No.
I had a.
Got that penne mac?
No, I usually, if I ever do go there, I always go to Rice Bowl.
There you go.
Yeah.
Rice Aroni.
They're a Oriental chicken salad is actually pretty good.
Yeah.
Dude, they make rice.
Their rice is made out of rice Aroni that you buy at the store.
Yeah.
I'm just kidding.
I just made that up.
Hey, sound guy, fact check that, please.
Yeah.
Fack it.
Ah, fuck it.
Ah, fuck.
Wait, that's a CK, not a GG, right?
No, it's a Q.
Fack it.
Fack.
Yeah, FAQ.
Hey.
Fack.
Your boy stands on Fack.
Frack?
Fracking?
Shout out fracking?
Dude, don't get me started on fracking.
Really?
You had to say fucking fracking.
Sorry.
You don't want me to get started on the unethical sense of fracking.
Damn it.
No, we don't need it.
It's about one of the only things about Texas that makes me want to say fuck y'all.
That ain't it.
That ain't it, dude.
Fack it.
Texas is dope as shit, dude.
Yeah, it's a Lone Star state.
Dude, all the barren land you could want to shoot all the guns in the world.
Yeehaw.
Oh, man.
Talking all that heehaw.
Speaking of heehaw, how's your hoo-haw, Jay?
Jay kept telling us.
How's that Peswoz doing?
Today, Junior.
Peswoz, dude.
I've said this on the other episode, too.
Hey, Rob, spit that out.
It's not yours, bud.
After a wild night out, the next day I stutter and have strokes all day.
It's weird.
I'm like this.
I'm like, you just stutter constantly.
No, I don't know how I developed it.
I do stutter a lot, bro.
I'm not even kidding.
Big stretch.
I just want to scratch your stomach right now.
Big stretch.
Oh, dude, that was a big old stretch.
You need to rub down too, bud?
Nope.
All right.
All set there.
Rub and tug.
All set on the rubby.
You need a little scratchy tickle?
A little tug down?
Hey, anyways, it's past tuggy time, so.
Is it?
I mean, that's three, dude.
That's true.
Yeah.
Will you run me a bath when this is over?
Tubby time?
Yeah, Teletubbies.
Bro, do you remember, did you guys watch PBS as a kid?
No, I wasn't sheltered.
Remember Dragon Tales?
Bro.
I almost said Dragon Force.
I'm like, remember Through the Fire and Flames?
No, but Dragon Tales?
Dragon Tales.
And then Zoom?
Did you ever watch Zoom?
Come on and Zoom.
That does sound familiar, but I can't remember.
Dude, we should put PBS on the next time.
Yeah, you all want to watch PBS?
Let us know.
Right now we got some fucking marble racing going on.
Come on, we could fucking be hard.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck around until the dark side of the moon.
Shout out again, Jordan, for the marble racing.
Yeah, it's great.
Great.
I've actually never watched it, but it's great.
I didn't know it was even a thing.
It's very entertaining.
Did you ever used to watch the Austin City Lights segment of PBS where they do live music?
No, maybe.
Solid.
Really?
I think that's what it's called, Austin City Lights.
I don't know.
I can't call it.
I don't know what it is, but since yesterday, I'm about to say something and then you say
exactly what I'm going to say.
Really?
Yeah, like five or six times.
We always finish each other's sandwiches.
Dude, what's that?
Hey, what's that?
Want to make out?
What's that?
Wait, wait, wait.
Delete, delete, delete.
Clip that.
What's that?
Stop.
What's that term called when you see something before it happens?
Is that foreskin?
Did you just?
No.
Foreskin?
Foresight.
Oh, foresight.
Really?
That was on purpose.
I know what you're trying to do.
What do you mean by that?
Yeah.
At least some of us still have ours.
Wait.
No, I don't.
I was like, wait.
I don't have that.
I don't think.
I'm kind of glad it's another extra step in maintenance.
Rob is all about that convenience.
You know, his maintenance is not that great.
Thank God.
My mom and dad had that surgery done on me because I wouldn't want to take care of it.
It sounds like a lot of work.
Shmegma.
Robert calls his D bar a whistle pig.
His D bar?
Bro, I remember you used to say D bar.
I forgot about that.
D bar.
The old D bar.
Dude, they do you guys remember Lincoln logs?
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
My grandma.
My grandma still has the Lincoln logs that I played with when I kid.
Now you're fucking rubbing off on me.
You caught I am not rubbing off anything on you.
My grandma has the Lincoln logs that I played with as a child.
So when we go over there, Lucas will play with them.
And it's like really cool to see.
Yeah.
A side note, the same exact ones.
I know.
Lincoln logs.
Original ones.
Yeah.
Even new manufactured Lincoln logs are a fortune, bro.
Shit ain't cheap.
No, it's real wood.
Yeah.
Sequoia.
Real woodies.
No.
Sequoia?
The Sequoia trees?
Is that really not a thing?
A Sequoia?
That's a tree, right?
Can anybody?
Fuck, Robert.
Is that not a tree?
Maybe you need to.
Sequoia is a tree.
You need to fac it.
By the way, the new Sequoias?
Fire.
Oh, bro.
Nicole, I don't know if anything.
You and Jay need to get a Sequoia.
I don't know if anything's more fired than the nine, bro.
No, bro.
The brand new ones are tanks, bro.
The brand new TRD Pro Sequoias are fucking crazy.
So sick.
Aren't they like 74?
Bro.
They're so much money.
Nicole, at least once a week, Nicole will send me a picture and be like, look at this
one.
This is like pushing 90,000.
I don't know if the Japanese want to try and threaten our economy again.
What's your opinion on that?
I mean, we won really fast.
Almost overnight, some would say.
Kaboom.
Sorry.
That is not okay, dude.
Fucking crazy for that.
That ain't it.
That's why we call this podcast that.
Shout out Nagasaki.
Right?
Hey, it's a thing that happened.
Unfortunately.
Was it terrible?
Yeah.
So did Kawasaki.
You don't hear me talking about two stroke over here.
Good old two stroke McGee over here.
Well, to pump jump.
Yeah.
What?
By me.
Back me up.
I mean, fuck.
You guys just tagged to me all podcast, bro.
What do you mean?
No.
My hands are so clammy now.
Do you guys feel that?
You stay are wet.
They're not wet.
Rob stays on clam way.
Knock it off.
Old Tar Tar boy over here.
Speaking of clams, speaking of clams, I got one that bumps.
I have some shit in my Amazon cart for a podcast episode soon for everybody.
There's no shit in there that Robert's going to eat.
Bro.
What?
Oh, what?
You're going to suckle that shit down, dude.
Dude.
It's going to be good.
That's so I don't know.
I don't I don't want to get COVID or something next week.
I was like, I'm so sick.
Actually.
Yeah.
I'm throwing up already.
I can feel it, dude.
Hey, guys, I can't be I can't be in that room.
I'm throwing up.
They said I can't come in.
I have to go around the side entrance.
Six feet apart.
Did you order like a kit or something?
Some wild.
Am I good?
I'm not the only one eating.
We'll all eat it.
OK.
I'm also not going to be the first one to eat it.
No, you're just the only one that doesn't enjoy it.
What's all in it?
Some things.
I can't tell.
You know, I can't call it.
He doesn't know.
I can't tell everybody because it's a surprise.
I'm pretty sure I know.
It's going to be a great episode.
You're all awesome.
It'll be a surprise when I'm not there either.
Well, that's not cool.
You're letting the entire audience down.
Rob's thinking he's going to slip out the door Saturday morning, but he's getting hog
tied to his fucking bed Friday night.
Yep.
Who?
Yeah, you.
You.
Who's hog tying me?
Steve's really good at the hog tie.
He showed me.
He's got a Chibari background.
I got the shit.
Fuckin' tie you to the ceiling.
Okay.
We don't got to talk about your adventures.
You got like a pulley system.
Yes, adventure time.
I don't need one.
I can fashion one.
Out of rope.
Just jerry-rig it.
Yeah.
It's not even jerry-rigged.
Like, it's solid.
Wow.
Yeah.
You just got to make sure you hit a stud.
Yeah.
You don't hit a stud.
You hit a sheet rock.
Hopefully, you know how to patch some rock.
I don't want to be tied up.
Well.
I'm just going to say it right now.
I don't care what anybody else says.
I don't want to be tied up.
You're not fun.
Huh?
So, Rob had a surprise happen recently.
Do you want to elaborate on what that surprise was?
Jordan?
Shout out, Jordan.
So this girl I've been talking to for how long?
Rob's finally been talking to a girl, guys.
We made it.
You know what Nick said on the phone today?
He's like, is it really official?
I was like, yeah.
He's like, dang, dude.
Good job.
We were starting to lose hope.
We thought the next logical step was boys for you.
I'm like, fuck you guys.
He almost put you on Grindr.
He's like, I had a Grindr account ready and set up for you.
I'm like, what?
He's like, literally, I was about to host the Chippendale party for you, bro.
No, but Jordan, me and this girl.
Jordan saved him.
How to save a life.
You found me.
Who sings that?
Hold on.
You know it?
No idea.
I can't think of it.
I heard it on now.
That's what I call music.
That was another one.
How to save life.
Play.
No, it's not cold play.
It's like same error though.
I can even picture the video, dude.
It's like super like whatever editing they put on.
It's like very dark and green.
Yeah.
Am I right?
Yeah.
With arms wide open.
That's Creed.
I know, but it's same error.
Anyways, someone around the Super Bowl 20 years after his DUI must have forgave him
because they're trying to get that man paid.
Creed?
For something.
I did not read.
Always somehow stays relevant.
Always.
I'm like his agent must still be prominent in the industry.
Same with Nickelback.
Look at this photograph.
Look at this graph.
Remember that?
Dude, actually real talk though.
A Nickelback has some songs that are very catchy.
I'm not going to lie.
This is you said before.
I know I'm serious.
Am I wrong?
You just gave me so much anxiety.
Have you seen 40 year old Virgin?
No.
Rob, you know I know you're gay.
Why?
You listen to Nickelback.
I don't listen to Nickelback.
I used to.
That's Paul Rudd's line, bro.
That is Paul Rudd's.
I love Paul Rudd.
Look at us.
Dude in Wanderlust.
I'm going to show her my dick.
Look at us.
Get off of the piece of this.
That hurt.
I love Paul Rudd.
He's the man.
I'll finish my story now.
Sorry.
We're getting sidetracked.
You know us.
You know why too.
Yeah.
So Jordan, this girl, we met each other on Instagram.
The OIG.
The gram.
I slid into her DMs.
Yes, I slid.
And I was like, do I know you?
Did you slide on your knees?
You didn't know her though, did you?
No.
Yeah.
Conversation starter.
I was like, do I know you?
God knows I didn't know her.
Yeah.
Where do I know you from?
So you played that.
Yeah.
I was like, do I know you?
Do I know you?
I was like this.
Do I know you?
I sent an audio message.
I was like, do I know you?
Hey, to be fair though, I mean, Rob was doing it intentionally, but to be fair, the three
of us have been exposed to a lot of situations in life that set us up to meet an exuberant
amount of people.
I think she lived in, I don't think she was in Florida at the time.
Like when I say, either way, it's so far as fuck away.
And so I was like, I don't, I definitely don't know her.
Yeah.
But I want to.
So we started talking.
This was how long ago?
Like four years ago.
And I was like, of course.
I meet some dope, beautiful female that I will never have a chance with.
That ran through my head.
Never seen.
And it was, we became really good friends actually.
She met Mason.
I FaceTimed her all the time.
And then we stopped talking.
And then I dated Satan.
Baltimore.
Little sewer rat, master splinter.
I dated the wrong person for sure.
And thank.
And I.
Straight fucking dumpster fire.
And I.
One of them dumpster fires you can't put out either.
It was really bad.
And so DNA is the inside contents of the.
It was one of those things where I don't want to get too deep dive into it, but basically
like I knew for some reason I was very not, I had the least amount of confidence that
me and Jordan would ever happen.
This is before I was dating that one girl that we just talked about.
And so we kind of just like, I actually did friend zone Jordan.
I was like, I just don't know.
Cause I didn't want to do that at the time.
Nobody wants.
She brought that up.
I know she always gives me shit for it too.
She's all, Hey Rob, why don't you tell Steve how you friend zone me?
Like out of nowhere, out of nowhere.
It's so funny.
I was like this.
She just put, dude, she puts the full core press on Rob sometimes.
And it makes him squirm.
It's true, dude.
It's hilarious.
She's a real fucking one.
She is.
Uh, so I did do that and it's not because of anything she did.
It was nothing bad.
I just did.
I wasn't, I even talked to her.
She even was like, well, it's actually kind of a good thing you did because it wasn't
the right time for me.
She was apparently in a bad spot.
I wasn't in the head space or spot to date long distance and it just didn't work out.
Yeah.
Then I moved on and I would always still think about her.
I had her on Instagram still.
I was like, damn, I always thought about it.
It sucks.
Damn.
And then I became that guy where I dated a female that literally took over my life and
I almost lost a bunch of friends for it.
And uh, I was turning into somebody I wasn't.
And I deleted every fee, like seriously, like every female's number out of my phone.
You were that guy.
Yeah.
But I mean, it was to avoid fighting all the time.
Everything I did was like eggshells.
I have to avoid a fight because I would get, I'm not trying to air out everybody's shit
here, but no, she would like openness.
Open the window.
She would sometimes we get in fights over like a picture I liked before we were dating
and she would somehow find the picture I liked.
It was like that FBI date and a fucking see it.
I'll get a real one.
What are they calling the sleuths?
Hey, what's the guy?
What's the guy off of?
Hey, CSI Miami.
What's that guy's name?
It's some weird name.
All freaking Felicia Horatio ratio.
Yeah.
I felt like I was dating him because he figures everything out.
Yeah.
So basically long story short, I deleted her.
Rob was like, Hey, Felicia, no, it was really like that.
And I was like, this is crazy.
And then, you know, that didn't work out anymore.
Thank the Lord almighty.
No, it's fine.
I don't regret it either.
I don't regret it because it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me a lot of crazy
lessons that have changed my character for the good.
And long story short, me and Jordan, she posted this really cool video because I followed
her back.
And but she was also in relationship for like three years and I was with Emily and oh my
God, I dropped name dropped.
Sorry.
Voldemort.
Oh my God, that hurt.
And long story short, she I slid back up on her thing and I was like, Hey, hope time on
her.
Sorry.
Instagram.
Back up on her thing.
That sounded terrible.
Louise.
Oh, God bless it.
You're playing bumper hockey, dude.
Just freaking bang it off the side.
Bro.
So I slid up on it.
She posted this story on her Instagram story because I ended up following her back.
I made a whole new Instagram because I deleted everything.
I deleted my TikTok, my Instagram, my Snapchat.
I was like, if this is what makes you happy, I'll do that for you.
Massive followings to you, by the way.
Not they were pretty fat, dude.
So I just got rid of it all because I was like, if that's what it takes, that's what
it takes to prove to you that I'm, you know, not like I have to prove my loyalness by that.
I'll do that for you.
You got to prove your loyalty is if you have to prove your loyalties.
It's just bad.
It's stupid.
You just go at that point.
Anyways, yeah.
Open your goddamn eyes.
She ran into a wall and it looked she it was never forced.
I also made the decision because I was like, OK, this is going to be like what fucking
makes us stop worrying about dumb shit.
Then I'll do it.
I'll sacrifice it.
And plot twist, there was nothing to worry about anyways.
So time passes.
I moved back to Boise about, I don't know, two months, maybe two months back here.
Yeah, it was.
It was like right after we started hanging out.
Yeah.
It was like right during the podcast, actually, when we started it.
Yeah.
We started talking again, blah, blah, blah.
I'll hear the story up.
Sorry, guys.
I slid up on her story because she posted some cool clip of a pastor saying some cool
stuff.
I said, this is fire.
Also hope you're doing well.
And that's all I said.
And then we just started talking again from there and FaceTime again, just like we did
in the good old days.
And then yada, yada, yada.
One thing led to another.
Now she visited for my birthday.
She surprised me.
She did.
How did she surprise you, though?
Like what part?
Like like how did she?
I told her I was like, you should come visit me.
She says, you know, yeah, I want to see you.
I'm broke as fuck.
I can't come see you right now.
But she was like, yeah, I'm down.
I was like, really?
She's like, yeah, I'll surprise you.
I was like, what?
Basically, it went like that.
And then I was like, huh?
Huh?
And then my birthday came around and long story short, she was here.
Yeah.
Do you got from home from work and I got home from work and there were shoes sitting on
my bed and then she was in my closet and scared the fucking shit out of me.
She has the video.
I was like this.
Oh my God.
And Rob came home and was like, who's dirty little sidewalk crawlers are these?
No, no.
She bought me those new new balances.
They were on my bed because she said FaceTime me when you get home.
I want to see you open your gift.
She's like, I think they got there, but she was here too.
Yeah.
It was actually the coolest thing in the world.
This year's birthday for me was actually the best birthday I've had like almost ever.
I'm not joking.
So Jordan, but from a what's the word?
Immunite culmination, culmination of everybody.
But she was the best part of it for sure.
Did she tell you what was supposed to happen?
Yeah.
We want to remember the yard house potty we were talking about.
Yeah.
Where Rob said he was going to fucking double fist two half yards and do it.
I got didn't shut up.
Well, I didn't want to get sloppy because I would have gotten sloppy after that second.
It was a 7.2%.
You didn't have to get the same one twice.
I wanted it because I like that one.
The voodoo ranger, we took Rob to your wang for a birthday dinner and Jordan was flying
in that night.
Her flight got fucked up.
Yeah.
Nicole was going to pick her up at the airport and then drive to yard house and surprise
Rob and that part was, would have been insane.
Yeah.
I did not.
I would have not expected that in the slightest.
Yeah.
And then yeah, her due to weather flight got fucked up.
She got stuck in Vegas for like two days.
But she surprised you.
It was a good surprise.
It was still a really good surprise.
It didn't even matter at that point.
It was just glad she was here, but she does a lot.
She's insane.
She's a really good person.
She's a real one.
Yeah.
I'm going to chalk it up to her name being Jordan because all Jordans are just great.
Yeah.
Jordan with a Y. Yeah, dude.
It was really cool.
And then I got antsy and Jordan.
I fell for her really hard.
And then we went to Idaho city and I asked her to be my girlfriend.
So you asked her in Idaho city?
No, it's a long story.
Oh, there's a, it's, it's not a long story.
I just, she, cause we kept talking about like, I don't know if this is, we wanted to take
things slow because we both really started liking each other again right away.
Yeah.
Just from talking again, cause that's how it was the first time.
And I was like, I can't let this one kind of slip through again because she's almost
too good to be true.
Yep.
And she's that literally checks.
Yeah.
She's that checks everything off like that I could ever ask for and more.
And I didn't want to straight up like put her in an awkward position of cause she just
got out of, you know, she just had a three year relationship that ended not to air her
shit out, but.
Yeah.
You both got out of long-term relationships that were fucked.
Yeah, basically.
But I have, I've had a year or a little over a year to recover and she hasn't.
And so I just didn't want to like force anything and make her feel uncomfortable.
Yeah.
And so far so good.
Nothing, you know, we talked a lot about it and I was like, this is where I'm at.
And she's like, this is where I'm at.
I was like, cool.
Well, let's just take it slow.
So you have time to kind of really like think about what you need and what you want.
Not even with me, just to heal and whatever.
And yeah, like you're being a good dude, basically.
Yeah.
I was just making sure I didn't want to, like, I wanted to ask her like,
a week after starting talking, but that's like a little much, you know?
Anyway, so we, we've talked about it here and there and it just, it felt pretty exclusive
between the both of us the whole time.
And then she visited and then I was like, damn dude, every day is like goes by.
It's like, I like this girl a lot.
Yeah.
Like a lot.
I wouldn't shut the hell up about her.
And you wouldn't.
And then I was like, I want to take you to the mountains.
And I wasn't planning on doing it, but then we started talking and then on the way home,
we were talking and then I actually asked her and it's not romantic at all, but I asked
her in the car when we got back to the house because we had talked the whole hour drive
about it and wanted to really make sure she, where she was at.
And she was like, I mean, it just basically happened.
And she's like, of course.
And I was like, wow, fire.
So it just happened like that.
I would have planned something better.
It was just, I didn't know where it stood, you know?
And that it doesn't have to be some extravagant.
I know it's like, we're not like, we're not in high school.
Yeah.
We're adults.
Yeah.
I was like, I'm not going to hold a middle school shit when I know I love it.
That dude, she Nicole showed us the video of how he asked Nicole with the yes or no
thing.
I literally wrote a note on like lined, like it literally was high school notebook paper.
Yeah.
Like high school.
And it was like paper.
Will you be my girlfriend?
And then a check box of yes.
Yeah.
With a cigarette in my mouth.
Yeah.
You're like, Hey baby.
It's like moving.
It was fucking funny though.
Yeah, dude.
I, uh, it's one of those things in my mind.
Trying to sound all like cringy or fucking gay or anything, but it feels like it is not
real.
And like, I'm like, how are you a real person?
Where the fuck have you been?
Probably how you felt about Nicole.
A hundred percent.
Like it's the weirdest feeling.
It is bro.
Find that one person that like you truly click with on like every level, every level.
Yeah.
It's, it's the craziest thing because I mean, we've all been in multiple relationships.
Yeah. Any relationship before me and Nicole never, it never felt, I thought I felt that
you think, but I was also very, I don't know what the fuck I was.
My, it was a glaze over like my whole like perception of what I was looking for.
I don't know how to explain it, but yeah, yeah, it's crazy.
And she gets along with you guys.
She talks her shit to Steve.
She talks her shit to me today.
She fits right in, man.
I'm very thankful that she is back in a part of my life again.
Yeah.
Sometimes she'll say shit to me.
Sometimes she'll say shit to me and it just like sparks a fire beat like between my eyes
and I just, I can't do anything, but just like stare at her dude.
Cause I'm like, really just fucking say that.
If you were a dude, I would.
Oh dude.
I always told her, no, I can't say this on the podcast.
Nevermind.
I'm not saying it.
Okay.
I'm just saying it.
Yeah.
Everybody literally just got there.
I got to have some sort of filter hopes.
I'll tell you guys after.
Hi.
You can't know everything.
You just not a little bit.
Yeah.
Anyways, that was, that was, it's been this past like week since last podcast and it's
been sick as hell.
It's good.
It's got happy for you, Bob.
Thank you overjoyed.
Actually like I never met Voldemort in person just like once or twice when you FaceTime
me.
Oh yeah.
But I always, I mean like granted, I didn't know much about her.
I didn't know much about her other than what you had told me.
But she, she never seemed right to me.
That's what everybody said.
And look, and I, that's from the fuck.
Yeah.
The smallest interactions with her.
It was like a high.
And then she was kind of there when we were talking.
I'll say this.
I don't, I don't have to say this, but I'm just the kind of person I am.
I hope that she's good.
I don't want anything to do with that person ever again.
Yeah.
But luckily I don't have to worry about it anymore.
I got, I got somebody better to worry about.
100%.
And that's all I got to say about that.
Right here.
Really?
The old spud shooter.
Sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Are you serious?
I'm sorry.
He went from spud shooter to fucking.
Pud shooter.
Gosh.
So we're tugging on sweater sleeve.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
But yeah, that's been my week.
That's good, Bob.
Going by too fast.
That's a good week.
Glad you had a good birthday.
It's going to be a moment.
I'm not even, I told Jordan this, but, and I just now told you guys, but I legit had
the best birthday in like a long, long time.
Not that my other ones were bad, but this one has been sick as hell.
That was good.
Super sick.
And we got Mason coming today.
Yep.
Old mace showing up.
Busy ass month so far, bro.
We got people flying out.
Yeah.
Told the boys get on the PJ bitch told the boys get on the PJ told the boys hop on that
PJ and plow that.
Sorry.
Sorry for cussing.
Apology accepted brother.
Dude, sketches all over my for you right now.
You've seen the fuck dude.
Sketch makes me laugh so hard about the emoji now.
Oh yeah.
The emoji one finger.
I saw this tick tock.
He's like talking and sketches.
It's just some random dude.
He's like, why is this happening to me?
I only talk like this now.
Now I look at my dad and call him brother.
You saw, I think you saw that.
Yeah.
That's just funny.
He's like, my mom's my brother.
Everyone's brother.
Anyways, talking to his mom.
Thanks for the lasagna brother.
I'm also still recovering from the, we had a wild weekend.
I went too crazy and it was one of those like weekends where you just have to recover for
two days a whole time.
I feel a lot better today.
It's good.
Yeah.
The Red Bull helped.
Rebel did help.
My, my, I need another.
I was going to say we should go get some Red Bulls cause yeah, the girls too.
They would love that.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Is Jordan like Jordan like Red Bulls?
Let me call her.
That's a great question.
Actually, I should call her if she doesn't red flag, get her on the horn.
Yeah.
No Red Bull.
That's red flag.
Yeah.
She's a red flag.
She don't.
Well, maybe we don't know.
I just put those words in her mouth.
She very well.
She might, but she also, she likes Celsius.
I know that.
Have you had those?
I haven't.
It's an, it's an energy drink.
Are they good?
They're good.
It's not bad.
They're good.
They're, the flavors are fire.
Yeah.
See, I, I, rain flavors are fire.
They are.
And they're 300 milli vanillies, dude.
So I haven't, I haven't tried too many like energy drinks because I just like sugar-free
Red Bull.
Dude, the C4 is dank.
C4 is fine too.
Those are all, no, those are two.
I can't remember.
Those are good.
The way they hit.
No, there are three actually.
Yeah.
The way they hit is way different.
You know, uh, Seabum?
I have his protein.
Okay.
So he had Seabum's, uh, Mr. Olympia.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
He, uh, he's a lisp.
He does.
He's a great guy though.
Like real talk, like a solid dude.
He's dope as home.
But he has a, he has a, he has a, he has a, he has a, he has a, he has a, he has a, he
has a, he has a, he has a, he has a, he has a drink.
I guess.
Or like a pre-workout.
And it's in a 12 ounce can, it looks like a soda can.
I've had it.
Is it?
Yeah.
That's good?
Yeah.
What's it called again?
It's the savage savage.
He has a little, it's called savage literally, but he just came out with a flavor that's
like, apparently it tastes exactly like Sprite.
Really?
Like exact, like this, uh, I forgot his name.
I forgot his name.
I forgot his name, some guy who reviews nutrition products
and stuff, supplement companies.
The flavor profiles exactly.
Tells you the bullshit in them, like this one's actually legit,
this one's not.
But he tried it.
He literally side by side sprite in that.
He's like, can't tell.
The flavor profile is perfectly matched to it?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
I'm not too sure.
I really want to try it.
Thavage is good, though.
There's this energy thing.
It's weird saying thavage.
No.
Seriously.
But it's so, that just talks about who C-Bum is.
He's just a funny fucking rat dude.
When I was, before I moved here, I
was going to the gym really consistently.
And if I forgot my pre-workout or if I didn't have any,
I would just buy one of those at the gym.
They had it at the gym?
Yeah.
Nice.
This was good.
There's this energy drink that this,
I found out about it through this guy at my work who
sells them, because he's like a all organic,
like all natural ingredient type guy.
And they're called XS.
XS?
Yeah.
It probably is an acronym, but it's the only logo on the can.
I don't know if I've seen it.
Either fire, bro.
Really?
Yeah.
Where do you get them?
Probably just online?
Yeah, you probably, he gets them off Amazon
and then up charges like a buck, I think.
It's not like he's trying to kill it.
He's just trying to, he believes in the product personally,
because he drinks it.
And so he just wants other people to drink it.
And so he only makes a couple bucks off it,
but just to pay for the footwork.
Speaking of Amazon again.
They have a root beer flavor, bro.
Oh, I bet that's gas.
It is gas, bro.
It tastes exactly like anything.
Are you barks or mug kind of guy?
Barks.
Barks root beer is fire.
I agree.
Mug is good too, but barks is better.
Barks, it's got that burn.
Yeah.
That bark and burn.
So speaking of Amazon.
Speaking of Bezos.
A few years ago, do you remember when Amazon brought back Surge?
Surge.
Really?
Yeah.
The Mellow Yellow Special.
You can only buy it on Amazon.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Bro.
Because Surge was like my favorite.
Can I talk about Mountain Dew?
When I was a little kid, I fucking wanted Surge.
So bad.
When Amazon announced that, I literally bought like 10 cases.
I had so much Surge.
I was like, I hadn't had it in like fucking 10, 15 years.
Jay went on the Surge Surge.
I did.
I have a story about that, actually.
About Surge?
No.
It reminded me.
So one year for this is super random.
You had an overabundance of it.
Yes.
So Mason used to love Mountain Dew, like drink it all the fucking time.
He was like, I have to slow down because I'm getting fat.
Like he said that.
But for one year for Christmas, we bought him a year's worth of Mountain Dew.
I'm not kidding.
So offensive.
Like one a day?
Years worth?
We did the math.
Like if he had like one a day.
Yeah.
Damn.
Where the fuck do you store that?
Like you bought him a fucking car full.
Dude, well, it was a bunch of 12 pack.
You bought him a Prius full of Mountain Dew?
Dude, but yeah, it was funny.
Some of them, he was like, I got to go through these.
They're about to explode.
It was crazy.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
It was really fun.
I think we have a picture.
We did like a Mountain Dew tower of it in the living room.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Do the Dew.
Yeah.
Do all the dee.
That'll do.
Do do.
That'll do, Donkey.
Do do.
Mountain Dew, Donkey.
Actually kind of sounded like it.
A little bit.
Mountain Dew, Donkey.
Speaking of another soda, so.
Sodipop, sodipop.
Coca Cola is the number one selling soft drink in the world.
In every single country, Coca Cola is the number one.
Yes.
Do you like Pepsi better than Cola?
No.
Coke is way better than Pepsi.
Give them the jet.
But.
Have you seen that documentary?
No.
Where Pepsi advertised if you bought enough Pepsi to get,
it was like 740,000 points or something.
Like you basically had to buy a case 740,000 times, right?
Oh my god.
This kid figured out through an algorithm
that he put together how he could.
Oh, I heard about this.
Make it a business investment.
So instead of buying all the cases,
they actually had a system where you could buy the points.
And it worked out to be $740,000 for like a $2.3 million
Harrier jet.
And so he put, this kid's like 17,
puts an entire business model together
on how they can profit off of this
and still return an investment when they want to sell it.
And the guy's like all in, right?
They do it.
Pepsi realized in the moment what had just happened.
And they sent him a voucher for two cases of Pepsi
and an apology letter on why they
couldn't honor what they said.
And on top of that, they obviously saw a lawsuit coming.
And so they filed suit first.
Shisty fucks.
And so this kid and the guy who invested all that money
come big dick swinging, bro, not giving a fuck.
And they put a documentary out to just shame Pepsi.
Well, yeah.
I heard about that documentary.
I haven't watched it, though.
And then they sued him.
They win?
Well, they counter-suited.
Yeah, they won because obviously they
didn't put a disclaimer out.
And you know how Pepsi tried to get ahead of it?
Put the same exact marketing ad out in Canada
with a disclaimer on it.
Like how chisely.
How chisely do you little chisellers have to be?
Fucks.
Yeah.
Go look that word up.
You'll know what I'm talking about.
Wait, I want to hear your Coca-Cola thing, too, though.
Sorry.
We'll wrap it up here.
Yep.
So Coke's the number one selling soft drink
in the world in every single country, except in Scotland.
Scotland.
It's because they're hard over there,
but they don't want a soft drink.
They have their own soda that they make.
I think they make it in Glasgow.
And it's called Iron Brew.
That sounds sick.
That sounds like.
It is delicious.
It's like fluorescent orange.
So when you when I see an orange drink, I think it's
going to be orange.
Oh.
Flavor.
Or my wire.
Dude, it doesn't taste like anything you've ever had.
It's its own thing.
Really?
And it is delicious.
You've had it?
Oh, yeah.
I even ordered maybe like two or three years ago now.
But I ordered a couple cases because I was craving it.
Because I had it all the time when I was in Scotland.
We should.
It's really good.
Let's do it.
Make some scotch and sodas.
With iron brew.
Iron brew.
With the iron brew.
That's your fun fact for the day.
Have fun with it.
Have fun, Haas.
Well.
Thanks, guys.
That was a good one.
A little more mellow.
Yeah, it was a little more chill.
We dialed it down for you.
Yeah.
We want to keep you on your toesies.
And sometimes real talk, real conversation.
That's what you're going to get.
A little deeper.
Not so bumfucky app over here.
Are you talking to me or Steve?
I can't call it.
Ah!
Well, fucking shoe fit.
Well.
I'm still zening.
Fucking shoe fits.
Tie it.
That's what I always say.
All right.
Well.
Fucking house is falling down.
It was.
There's a snake in my boot.
It's a new house, man.
It makes sounds.
All right.
It's been real, guys.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Love you.
Thank you for listening.
Bye.
End it.
Ew.
Getting a little weird.
All right.
Bye, guys.
Later.
All right.
That's enough.
Hey.
Bye.
OK.