Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where
we explore the journeys that lead to success.
I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five
Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you
insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders
and experts who will share not just their expertise,
but the milestone moments that have reshaped
their journeys and led to significant achievements.
So if you're looking for motivation, you're in
the right place. Subscribe now and discover the
milestones that mark the path to success. Welcome
to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business
and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick, your host.
And today, my special guest is Samantha K. Harris.
She's a workforce retention and confidence strategist
for women in the trades. With 25 years in high
-stakes, male -dominated environments, Samantha
helps women speak up, lead strong, and get paid
what they deserve. She's also the creator of
the Brag Bag Strategy and the Truth Method. Two
powerful tools designed to help women stay rooted
in their value and lead with confidence. Welcome
to the show, Samantha. Thank you so much for
having me, Sheila. You read that. I love that.
I'm like, oh, look at me doing things. I feel
empowered just reading your intro. So I am looking
forward to this conversation with you. Yes, I'm
excited for it. I was looking forward to it all
week. Yes. So my first question is, what is the
biggest communication mistake you see women make?
And what's one shift they can make immediately
to change that? Okay, so when we say mistake,
I don't want to label it as mistake because it
is fear that comes in. It's rooted from the point
of growing up, especially if you were... Raised
in a two -family household, your father was the
lead. You followed it over time, especially depending
on where you are in this age range. You know,
you could be at a particular age like myself,
over 50. And we were raised a certain way where
we saw men leading, where we saw them in charge
of. So we have been conditioned and it has become
our norm. So we follow. And we automatically
fall into line what we have been trained to see
and have done our entire lives. So when we're
in these environments where we're the first only
or few, we automatically fall back into that.
It's not purposefully. It's just. something that's
been instilled in us. It's like a tradition,
something that you've done and seen over and
over again. You then pick up the habit of it
unconsciously and you start to do it. So women
being in these environments where they are not
seen as valued or they are seen as a checkbox,
they fall into that because they're like become
a people pleaser. Hey, look at me, pick me, see
me. But if they step back. And they figure out
and ask themselves, why am I doing this? That's
when they recognize these are patterns that I
have adapted over the years. So I don't want
to call it a mistake, but a conditioning. I like
how you reframe that. See, it's all how you perceive
and see things. So I absolutely love how you
did that. So it's fear -based. We have to overcome
that fear. Yes. And it sounds like self -awareness,
being able to recognize at that moment is how
we can make that change. Did I process that?
Yes, it is. It's about us understanding us, understanding
who we are, understanding where these thoughts
are coming from. That are causing us to feel
anxious, to feel that we aren't, feel sad or
angry or mad, feeling that we aren't able to,
thinking that we aren't able to compete. So yes,
exactly what you said, but just a little more
context to it. Yeah. So after 25 years in high
stakes, male dominated environments, what's the
most important lesson you've learned about self
-advocacy? that every professional woman needs
to hear. Oof. 25 years. Long time. And what I've
learned is to trust myself. No longer allowing
what I've seen or what I've heard or what I've
been told or labeled as to define me or to keep
me from speaking up. Because that's what happens.
We don't want to be labeled. Let them label me.
My label, I have redefined to myself as my superpower.
It's not my business, nor is it for me to focus
on what they think about me. It's what I feel
and to trust me. We're taught to trust the male
figure that's in charge or that we're standing
in, that's standing in front of us. But trusting
that what we bring is value, what we know to
be a fact, will keep us safe and will allow us
to speak up. Even if it's not appreciated or
liked. We're not here to be liked or loved. We're
here to do a job in these high -stake environments.
I've worked in trades my entire career. So I
work with a different group of men with a different
attitude. So the stakes are even higher. Because
I don't have, even though HR is, HR, I say that,
is there. They aren't in the field. They don't
have boots on the ground. So these men have a
different way of showing you that you don't belong.
So I've been on both sides. So knowing and believing
that what you feel, that instinct that you have,
if I'm safe or not safe, it's real. And you get
to speak up either in the environment that you're
in or outside of it so that you can find safety.
So I have a question there for you. Is it restricted
just to the male environments or women? always
supportive of each other? Would there be any
difference or any change if it were a female
leader? It depends. It depends on, let me tell
you, it's funny you asked me that, Sheila, because
I've been looking and paying attention to a lot
because recently I've been doing a lot of work
with women who are leaders and it depends on
women who have done the work. No shade to women
who have not done the work on themselves, but
I lead differently. And I interact with women
differently because I want to hear what you have
to say. I want you to hear your voice. But some
women have been taught working with men that
they need, they need to have all the power. They
need to be seen and heard because they've always
fought for it. So they still, even when working
with women, they show up that way. So that's
why it's so important for us to do the work on
ourselves. So it depends on, to your question,
it depends on... The situation, the leader, the
woman, sometimes they don't know how to interact
or how to have relationships with women. And
I'm not going to say I've always had good relationships
with women, but I didn't know how to be friendly
and laugh and all the things because I had been
conditioned working in these environments that
it's one, two, three, and that's it. All right,
have a good night. That's how I was honestly
conditioned for 25 years coming up. in my earlier
years. So yeah, so women are rough and you have
to be able to speak up for yourself no matter
what. So can you walk us through the brag bag
strategy or the truth method and share how women
can start using it today to advocate for themselves
more effectively? Okay, can I give you a little
bit of both? Absolutely. Okay, so the brag bag.
What do we have? We always have some type of
bag, no matter what. In our bag, we have everything.
So the world tells us, and so we know. I know
I do. You need something, I have it. So in your
brag bag, if you line it. with all of your accolades,
all of your wins, even the small ones that, hey,
I was able to assemble a team, assemble a team.
I was able to get this project out on time. Hey,
I have a degree. I've been able to speak up in
meetings. That's your brag bag. You no longer
have to look for someone to tell you how great
you are. You can look in your own bag and look
through your files because your entire bag is
lined with it. And you have your strap of your
bag that's holding tight. You have your zipper
on your bag. That is your boundaries that you
allow people in and out because you're protecting
yourself. But you're no longer proving or asking
for. Because I remember early on in my career
where I had a friend, a colleague. I used to
always say, no one has my back. No one has my
back. That was my favorite line. I'm not even
going to tell you no lie. She'll be working in
this environment with all these men. And things
always happen. Always bowling myself up in a
knot to fit in, to get along. And one day he
hung in my office a sign that says, by the time
every successful woman is herself. And that has
become my mantra. So in order for me to keep
it, I had to create something for me to hold
tight onto, which was my brag bag, which allows
me to tell you how amazing I am, not to prove
myself, but to own where I am so that I can stand
10 toes down, so I can stay rooted in who I am.
So from building your brag bag, you come into
your truth where you learn to treasure who you
are as a person. You get to respect you. You
get to understand you and trusting yourself is
you get to trust yourself on who you are, understand
who you are, and you get to be a healed human
being. So when you're healed, then you learn
to level you and not just look for it outside
of yourself. I love that in your smile and your
posture. You're the whole package, Samantha.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. It was building to
get here. I'm not going to pretend like, ooh,
child, I woke up this morning and this was me.
No, it took time. It took learning and unlearning
so many things that society said I was and who
I should be to get here. And that's why it's
so important. I mean, in this world, we all have
our situations that happen. But it's up to us
to make the conscious decision to want to grow
into who we truly want to be and stop becoming
who the rest of the world wants us to be. You
know, we assign ourselves to what our parents
told us, what our aunts, our teachers, everyone
around us. But not until you get to that point
where you come true to yourself. That's why standing
in that truth is so important. So is that the
truth method you're describing or no? Yes, ma
'am. I'm learning. Yes, that trust in yourself,
standing and treasuring you. That's that treasuring
you when you're no longer looking for everybody
else and everything else around you to validate
you. You do it for you. I just had an article
that was published, and ironically, that realization
is something that... Even though this occurred
10 years ago, and I wrote it that way, I realized
it was within me the entire time and that it
was external validation that gave me the confidence
to do it. And so I think that's really hitting
home with me right now because sometimes we think
if it's not approved elsewhere, then you start
with your own limiting beliefs or that self -doubt.
Ten years later, looking back, I'm like, why
did it require external validation? But I'm able
to recognize it. I think when we look back on
things and we look at life, so as I look back
now on things and see how far I've come, it's
part of our journey. It's part of the steps that
we had to take to get here. Look at you. You
learned something. Every step that I've taken
has been for me to learn. If it's not to help
another woman, it's for me to seek. moving forward
for myself to give me everything that I need
instead of looking forward. So I think it's our
journey. And it's our God -given right to have
these steps necessary to get here where we're
going to be. For us to be able to have these
conversations. I love it. So where can we find
you or learn more about your offerings? Oh, you
can find me at the skh solutions .com or you
can find me on instagram to be honest i just
changed my profile it is samantha k official
that's my name on ig and on linkedin you can
find me samantha k harris well thank you so much
for joining me today samantha thank you for having
me i will make sure to leave all of your information
in the comments below. And thank you all for
tuning in to another episode of Milestone Moments
in Business and Leadership. Until next time.