WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.080 Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where 00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:05.960 we explore the journeys that lead to success. 00:00:06.599 --> 00:00:10.220 I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five 00:00:10.220 --> 00:00:13.859 Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you 00:00:13.859 --> 00:00:17.100 insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders 00:00:17.100 --> 00:00:20.820 and experts who will share not just their expertise, 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.120 but the milestone moments that have reshaped 00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:27.059 their journeys and led to significant achievements. 00:00:27.960 --> 00:00:30.359 So if you're looking for motivation, you're in 00:00:30.359 --> 00:00:33.560 the right place. Subscribe now and discover the 00:00:33.560 --> 00:00:42.880 milestones that mark the path to success. Welcome 00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:46.399 to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business 00:00:46.399 --> 00:00:49.280 and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick, your host. 00:00:49.439 --> 00:00:54.399 And today, my special guest is Samantha K. Harris. 00:00:55.100 --> 00:00:59.359 She's a workforce retention and confidence strategist 00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:03.640 for women in the trades. With 25 years in high 00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:07.680 -stakes, male -dominated environments, Samantha 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:12.420 helps women speak up, lead strong, and get paid 00:01:12.420 --> 00:01:16.400 what they deserve. She's also the creator of 00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:21.359 the Brag Bag Strategy and the Truth Method. Two 00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:24.799 powerful tools designed to help women stay rooted 00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:29.140 in their value and lead with confidence. Welcome 00:01:29.140 --> 00:01:32.420 to the show, Samantha. Thank you so much for 00:01:32.420 --> 00:01:34.400 having me, Sheila. You read that. I love that. 00:01:34.420 --> 00:01:38.579 I'm like, oh, look at me doing things. I feel 00:01:38.579 --> 00:01:41.420 empowered just reading your intro. So I am looking 00:01:41.420 --> 00:01:44.799 forward to this conversation with you. Yes, I'm 00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.280 excited for it. I was looking forward to it all 00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:51.260 week. Yes. So my first question is, what is the 00:01:51.260 --> 00:01:55.760 biggest communication mistake you see women make? 00:01:55.980 --> 00:01:59.519 And what's one shift they can make immediately 00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:03.099 to change that? Okay, so when we say mistake, 00:02:03.260 --> 00:02:05.719 I don't want to label it as mistake because it 00:02:05.719 --> 00:02:10.240 is fear that comes in. It's rooted from the point 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:13.020 of growing up, especially if you were... Raised 00:02:13.020 --> 00:02:15.240 in a two -family household, your father was the 00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:18.180 lead. You followed it over time, especially depending 00:02:18.180 --> 00:02:21.719 on where you are in this age range. You know, 00:02:21.800 --> 00:02:24.539 you could be at a particular age like myself, 00:02:24.699 --> 00:02:28.080 over 50. And we were raised a certain way where 00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:31.680 we saw men leading, where we saw them in charge 00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:34.919 of. So we have been conditioned and it has become 00:02:34.919 --> 00:02:39.189 our norm. So we follow. And we automatically 00:02:39.189 --> 00:02:42.669 fall into line what we have been trained to see 00:02:42.669 --> 00:02:46.610 and have done our entire lives. So when we're 00:02:46.610 --> 00:02:48.550 in these environments where we're the first only 00:02:48.550 --> 00:02:51.810 or few, we automatically fall back into that. 00:02:52.610 --> 00:02:56.180 It's not purposefully. It's just. something that's 00:02:56.180 --> 00:02:57.979 been instilled in us. It's like a tradition, 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:00.020 something that you've done and seen over and 00:03:00.020 --> 00:03:03.379 over again. You then pick up the habit of it 00:03:03.379 --> 00:03:07.080 unconsciously and you start to do it. So women 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:09.340 being in these environments where they are not 00:03:09.340 --> 00:03:14.639 seen as valued or they are seen as a checkbox, 00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:17.520 they fall into that because they're like become 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:20.520 a people pleaser. Hey, look at me, pick me, see 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:25.610 me. But if they step back. And they figure out 00:03:25.610 --> 00:03:28.830 and ask themselves, why am I doing this? That's 00:03:28.830 --> 00:03:31.990 when they recognize these are patterns that I 00:03:31.990 --> 00:03:37.289 have adapted over the years. So I don't want 00:03:37.289 --> 00:03:40.909 to call it a mistake, but a conditioning. I like 00:03:40.909 --> 00:03:44.030 how you reframe that. See, it's all how you perceive 00:03:44.030 --> 00:03:47.189 and see things. So I absolutely love how you 00:03:47.189 --> 00:03:55.330 did that. So it's fear -based. We have to overcome 00:03:55.330 --> 00:03:59.789 that fear. Yes. And it sounds like self -awareness, 00:03:59.830 --> 00:04:03.729 being able to recognize at that moment is how 00:04:03.729 --> 00:04:06.469 we can make that change. Did I process that? 00:04:06.569 --> 00:04:10.250 Yes, it is. It's about us understanding us, understanding 00:04:10.250 --> 00:04:13.669 who we are, understanding where these thoughts 00:04:13.669 --> 00:04:16.920 are coming from. That are causing us to feel 00:04:16.920 --> 00:04:21.240 anxious, to feel that we aren't, feel sad or 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:24.160 angry or mad, feeling that we aren't able to, 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:28.459 thinking that we aren't able to compete. So yes, 00:04:28.639 --> 00:04:31.120 exactly what you said, but just a little more 00:04:31.120 --> 00:04:35.879 context to it. Yeah. So after 25 years in high 00:04:35.879 --> 00:04:40.019 stakes, male dominated environments, what's the 00:04:40.019 --> 00:04:43.360 most important lesson you've learned about self 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:46.560 -advocacy? that every professional woman needs 00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:52.300 to hear. Oof. 25 years. Long time. And what I've 00:04:52.300 --> 00:04:55.660 learned is to trust myself. No longer allowing 00:04:55.660 --> 00:04:59.399 what I've seen or what I've heard or what I've 00:04:59.399 --> 00:05:03.720 been told or labeled as to define me or to keep 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:07.139 me from speaking up. Because that's what happens. 00:05:07.240 --> 00:05:09.800 We don't want to be labeled. Let them label me. 00:05:10.189 --> 00:05:13.370 My label, I have redefined to myself as my superpower. 00:05:13.750 --> 00:05:17.290 It's not my business, nor is it for me to focus 00:05:17.290 --> 00:05:20.189 on what they think about me. It's what I feel 00:05:20.189 --> 00:05:23.829 and to trust me. We're taught to trust the male 00:05:23.829 --> 00:05:26.990 figure that's in charge or that we're standing 00:05:26.990 --> 00:05:30.089 in, that's standing in front of us. But trusting 00:05:30.089 --> 00:05:33.370 that what we bring is value, what we know to 00:05:33.370 --> 00:05:37.430 be a fact, will keep us safe and will allow us 00:05:37.430 --> 00:05:39.980 to speak up. Even if it's not appreciated or 00:05:39.980 --> 00:05:43.759 liked. We're not here to be liked or loved. We're 00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:45.560 here to do a job in these high -stake environments. 00:05:46.019 --> 00:05:49.560 I've worked in trades my entire career. So I 00:05:49.560 --> 00:05:52.980 work with a different group of men with a different 00:05:52.980 --> 00:05:57.360 attitude. So the stakes are even higher. Because 00:05:57.360 --> 00:06:01.399 I don't have, even though HR is, HR, I say that, 00:06:01.439 --> 00:06:06.060 is there. They aren't in the field. They don't 00:06:06.060 --> 00:06:08.689 have boots on the ground. So these men have a 00:06:08.689 --> 00:06:11.730 different way of showing you that you don't belong. 00:06:12.170 --> 00:06:15.949 So I've been on both sides. So knowing and believing 00:06:15.949 --> 00:06:18.569 that what you feel, that instinct that you have, 00:06:18.649 --> 00:06:21.689 if I'm safe or not safe, it's real. And you get 00:06:21.689 --> 00:06:24.170 to speak up either in the environment that you're 00:06:24.170 --> 00:06:26.769 in or outside of it so that you can find safety. 00:06:28.089 --> 00:06:31.949 So I have a question there for you. Is it restricted 00:06:31.949 --> 00:06:35.939 just to the male environments or women? always 00:06:35.939 --> 00:06:39.079 supportive of each other? Would there be any 00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:42.879 difference or any change if it were a female 00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:46.759 leader? It depends. It depends on, let me tell 00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:48.620 you, it's funny you asked me that, Sheila, because 00:06:48.620 --> 00:06:50.860 I've been looking and paying attention to a lot 00:06:50.860 --> 00:06:54.180 because recently I've been doing a lot of work 00:06:54.180 --> 00:06:57.660 with women who are leaders and it depends on 00:06:57.660 --> 00:07:00.040 women who have done the work. No shade to women 00:07:00.040 --> 00:07:02.500 who have not done the work on themselves, but 00:07:02.500 --> 00:07:07.290 I lead differently. And I interact with women 00:07:07.290 --> 00:07:08.750 differently because I want to hear what you have 00:07:08.750 --> 00:07:10.970 to say. I want you to hear your voice. But some 00:07:10.970 --> 00:07:14.370 women have been taught working with men that 00:07:14.370 --> 00:07:16.970 they need, they need to have all the power. They 00:07:16.970 --> 00:07:19.810 need to be seen and heard because they've always 00:07:19.810 --> 00:07:21.949 fought for it. So they still, even when working 00:07:21.949 --> 00:07:24.750 with women, they show up that way. So that's 00:07:24.750 --> 00:07:27.370 why it's so important for us to do the work on 00:07:27.370 --> 00:07:31.930 ourselves. So it depends on, to your question, 00:07:31.990 --> 00:07:35.100 it depends on... The situation, the leader, the 00:07:35.100 --> 00:07:39.420 woman, sometimes they don't know how to interact 00:07:39.420 --> 00:07:43.160 or how to have relationships with women. And 00:07:43.160 --> 00:07:46.620 I'm not going to say I've always had good relationships 00:07:46.620 --> 00:07:49.360 with women, but I didn't know how to be friendly 00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:51.519 and laugh and all the things because I had been 00:07:51.519 --> 00:07:54.319 conditioned working in these environments that 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.899 it's one, two, three, and that's it. All right, 00:07:56.980 --> 00:08:00.060 have a good night. That's how I was honestly 00:08:00.060 --> 00:08:04.029 conditioned for 25 years coming up. in my earlier 00:08:04.029 --> 00:08:09.490 years. So yeah, so women are rough and you have 00:08:09.490 --> 00:08:11.449 to be able to speak up for yourself no matter 00:08:11.449 --> 00:08:16.029 what. So can you walk us through the brag bag 00:08:16.029 --> 00:08:20.029 strategy or the truth method and share how women 00:08:20.029 --> 00:08:24.329 can start using it today to advocate for themselves 00:08:24.329 --> 00:08:27.290 more effectively? Okay, can I give you a little 00:08:27.290 --> 00:08:30.889 bit of both? Absolutely. Okay, so the brag bag. 00:08:31.110 --> 00:08:33.490 What do we have? We always have some type of 00:08:33.490 --> 00:08:36.429 bag, no matter what. In our bag, we have everything. 00:08:36.549 --> 00:08:38.730 So the world tells us, and so we know. I know 00:08:38.730 --> 00:08:41.210 I do. You need something, I have it. So in your 00:08:41.210 --> 00:08:45.700 brag bag, if you line it. with all of your accolades, 00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:49.120 all of your wins, even the small ones that, hey, 00:08:49.220 --> 00:08:52.240 I was able to assemble a team, assemble a team. 00:08:52.360 --> 00:08:54.980 I was able to get this project out on time. Hey, 00:08:55.100 --> 00:08:57.759 I have a degree. I've been able to speak up in 00:08:57.759 --> 00:09:00.690 meetings. That's your brag bag. You no longer 00:09:00.690 --> 00:09:02.909 have to look for someone to tell you how great 00:09:02.909 --> 00:09:05.110 you are. You can look in your own bag and look 00:09:05.110 --> 00:09:07.750 through your files because your entire bag is 00:09:07.750 --> 00:09:11.129 lined with it. And you have your strap of your 00:09:11.129 --> 00:09:13.929 bag that's holding tight. You have your zipper 00:09:13.929 --> 00:09:16.929 on your bag. That is your boundaries that you 00:09:16.929 --> 00:09:19.289 allow people in and out because you're protecting 00:09:19.289 --> 00:09:22.509 yourself. But you're no longer proving or asking 00:09:22.509 --> 00:09:25.690 for. Because I remember early on in my career 00:09:25.690 --> 00:09:28.809 where I had a friend, a colleague. I used to 00:09:28.809 --> 00:09:30.629 always say, no one has my back. No one has my 00:09:30.629 --> 00:09:32.190 back. That was my favorite line. I'm not even 00:09:32.190 --> 00:09:33.610 going to tell you no lie. She'll be working in 00:09:33.610 --> 00:09:35.470 this environment with all these men. And things 00:09:35.470 --> 00:09:37.809 always happen. Always bowling myself up in a 00:09:37.809 --> 00:09:41.049 knot to fit in, to get along. And one day he 00:09:41.049 --> 00:09:44.570 hung in my office a sign that says, by the time 00:09:44.570 --> 00:09:46.950 every successful woman is herself. And that has 00:09:46.950 --> 00:09:50.039 become my mantra. So in order for me to keep 00:09:50.039 --> 00:09:53.080 it, I had to create something for me to hold 00:09:53.080 --> 00:09:56.200 tight onto, which was my brag bag, which allows 00:09:56.200 --> 00:10:00.340 me to tell you how amazing I am, not to prove 00:10:00.340 --> 00:10:04.200 myself, but to own where I am so that I can stand 00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:07.519 10 toes down, so I can stay rooted in who I am. 00:10:07.720 --> 00:10:10.740 So from building your brag bag, you come into 00:10:10.740 --> 00:10:12.679 your truth where you learn to treasure who you 00:10:12.679 --> 00:10:16.340 are as a person. You get to respect you. You 00:10:16.340 --> 00:10:19.539 get to understand you and trusting yourself is 00:10:19.539 --> 00:10:22.879 you get to trust yourself on who you are, understand 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:27.259 who you are, and you get to be a healed human 00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:32.299 being. So when you're healed, then you learn 00:10:32.299 --> 00:10:35.259 to level you and not just look for it outside 00:10:35.259 --> 00:10:41.919 of yourself. I love that in your smile and your 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:44.340 posture. You're the whole package, Samantha. 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:50.740 Oh, thank you. Thank you. It was building to 00:10:50.740 --> 00:10:53.659 get here. I'm not going to pretend like, ooh, 00:10:53.779 --> 00:10:55.879 child, I woke up this morning and this was me. 00:10:56.159 --> 00:11:00.000 No, it took time. It took learning and unlearning 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:03.720 so many things that society said I was and who 00:11:03.720 --> 00:11:06.759 I should be to get here. And that's why it's 00:11:06.759 --> 00:11:10.159 so important. I mean, in this world, we all have 00:11:10.159 --> 00:11:15.120 our situations that happen. But it's up to us 00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:20.460 to make the conscious decision to want to grow 00:11:20.460 --> 00:11:23.940 into who we truly want to be and stop becoming 00:11:23.940 --> 00:11:26.120 who the rest of the world wants us to be. You 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:28.899 know, we assign ourselves to what our parents 00:11:28.899 --> 00:11:31.379 told us, what our aunts, our teachers, everyone 00:11:31.379 --> 00:11:33.960 around us. But not until you get to that point 00:11:33.960 --> 00:11:36.840 where you come true to yourself. That's why standing 00:11:36.840 --> 00:11:40.179 in that truth is so important. So is that the 00:11:40.179 --> 00:11:43.370 truth method you're describing or no? Yes, ma 00:11:43.370 --> 00:11:49.029 'am. I'm learning. Yes, that trust in yourself, 00:11:49.429 --> 00:11:52.269 standing and treasuring you. That's that treasuring 00:11:52.269 --> 00:11:55.590 you when you're no longer looking for everybody 00:11:55.590 --> 00:11:58.750 else and everything else around you to validate 00:11:58.750 --> 00:12:03.809 you. You do it for you. I just had an article 00:12:03.809 --> 00:12:08.649 that was published, and ironically, that realization 00:12:08.649 --> 00:12:13.129 is something that... Even though this occurred 00:12:13.129 --> 00:12:18.309 10 years ago, and I wrote it that way, I realized 00:12:18.309 --> 00:12:21.850 it was within me the entire time and that it 00:12:21.850 --> 00:12:25.590 was external validation that gave me the confidence 00:12:25.590 --> 00:12:29.669 to do it. And so I think that's really hitting 00:12:29.669 --> 00:12:33.269 home with me right now because sometimes we think 00:12:33.269 --> 00:12:37.029 if it's not approved elsewhere, then you start 00:12:37.029 --> 00:12:39.830 with your own limiting beliefs or that self -doubt. 00:12:41.129 --> 00:12:43.990 Ten years later, looking back, I'm like, why 00:12:43.990 --> 00:12:47.870 did it require external validation? But I'm able 00:12:47.870 --> 00:12:51.250 to recognize it. I think when we look back on 00:12:51.250 --> 00:12:53.190 things and we look at life, so as I look back 00:12:53.190 --> 00:12:56.730 now on things and see how far I've come, it's 00:12:56.730 --> 00:12:59.169 part of our journey. It's part of the steps that 00:12:59.169 --> 00:13:01.409 we had to take to get here. Look at you. You 00:13:01.409 --> 00:13:03.529 learned something. Every step that I've taken 00:13:03.529 --> 00:13:06.370 has been for me to learn. If it's not to help 00:13:06.370 --> 00:13:10.759 another woman, it's for me to seek. moving forward 00:13:10.759 --> 00:13:15.720 for myself to give me everything that I need 00:13:15.720 --> 00:13:18.519 instead of looking forward. So I think it's our 00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:22.299 journey. And it's our God -given right to have 00:13:22.299 --> 00:13:24.879 these steps necessary to get here where we're 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:27.220 going to be. For us to be able to have these 00:13:27.220 --> 00:13:32.279 conversations. I love it. So where can we find 00:13:32.279 --> 00:13:35.620 you or learn more about your offerings? Oh, you 00:13:35.620 --> 00:13:40.639 can find me at the skh solutions .com or you 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:44.080 can find me on instagram to be honest i just 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:47.860 changed my profile it is samantha k official 00:13:47.860 --> 00:13:51.860 that's my name on ig and on linkedin you can 00:13:51.860 --> 00:13:55.200 find me samantha k harris well thank you so much 00:13:55.200 --> 00:13:58.419 for joining me today samantha thank you for having 00:13:58.419 --> 00:14:02.889 me i will make sure to leave all of your information 00:14:02.889 --> 00:14:05.970 in the comments below. And thank you all for 00:14:05.970 --> 00:14:09.309 tuning in to another episode of Milestone Moments 00:14:09.309 --> 00:14:12.049 in Business and Leadership. Until next time.