Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where
we explore the journeys that lead to success.
I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five
Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you
insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders
and experts who will share not just their expertise,
but the milestone moments that have reshaped
their journeys and led to significant achievements.
So if you're looking for motivation, you're in
the right place. Subscribe now and discover the
milestones that mark the path to success. Welcome
to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business
and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick, your host.
And today, my special guest is Robin McTague.
Robin is the creator of A Life of Choice Coaching
and Positive Team Engagement. She is a consultant,
a speaker, and author. She uses diverse and holistic
techniques to get to the heart of what's required
to integrate who you are, to live your life authentically,
be engaged, and handle whatever comes your way.
She builds successful relationships, or she helps
others build successful relationships in all
areas of their lives, and that results in harmony
and moving towards what matters to you most.
Welcome to the show, Robin. Thank you so much
for having me. So tell us a little bit about
yourself, looking back on your journey. How did
you get to starting a life of choice coaching,
which is where you are at now? For me, it was
a really challenging upbringing. My mom was suicidal.
First time I remember her attempting suicide,
I was four. And my dad was an alcoholic and abuser.
And there was that part of me that was very aware.
And I remember having existential conversations
with myself, like 11, 12 years old, saying, why
are some people aware and other people aren't?
So I really, my intellect saved me. through all
of that. And so I wanted to learn and grow. I
was the first one to finish high school in my
family and go on to university and more training.
And so that really helped me to, because really
what I was looking for was understanding people
and why they do what they do. So that's left
me with that lifelong love of learning. And the
big pivot for me was having cancer 25 years ago
and really doing the deep work. to get to the
feelings of how I felt about things, and really
put some of the past behind me so I could have
more confidence and move forward in life. I worked
for an organization for 34 years, and I could
leave early because of my years of service and
learn the map and all these other tools. And
I really saw how accurate it got to how we do
feel and what's important to us. So I really
saw the benefit of helping people understand
that so they could understand themselves and
others, and especially the conflict resolution.
And I find whatever conversation I have with
people, it always goes back to that. Well, I
love how you're able to talk about conflict with
a smile. I've had one other guest, and her focus
is conflict resolution, and she embraces it.
It was almost like, wow, you're inviting everyone
to have conflict, but it's how to deal with it.
You are deeply versed in tools like Enneagram
and motivational maps and conflict resolution.
Can you tell us a little bit about these, you
know, frameworks or tools and why they're essential
for creating lasting transformation? What I find,
there's a lot of tools out there and they all
have their benefit. But these tools that I'm
working with really allows a shift and growth
and going deep. within ourselves and understanding
other people. So they're dynamic. We're constantly
changing as humans. So we need tools and ways
of dealing with things that are also dynamic.
Motivation changes over time. And we forget that.
And it's really hard to pinpoint. So what I do
is help make the invisible visible. There's no
cookie cutter approach. These are just tools
to say what is important to me. Most often we
don't. And if we're starting out in our business
or we're going along and we're listening to the
latest people, we're trying to fit ourselves
into someone else's model that worked for them.
And it doesn't always work for us. So these help
us to see what's important to me. How intense
are these motivators to me? If I'm so focused
on the future, what am I doing now? What's the
places where I'm letting go of relationship building?
and achievement. So we need to balance those
out. And this helps us to see, am I giving something
up? Am I ignoring people or feeling uncomfortable
around certain people because they have different
motivators? So often we talk about personality
conflicts. Most often it's motivational conflict.
So when we can bring in that neutral language
and say, this is simply what's important to that
person, and this is important to me, then we
can have better understanding and go deeper and
accept that we all bring different things to
the table. So that's the start of what I do.
The Enneagram goes deeper into our worldview.
How do I see the world? What are my blind spots?
And how can I open that up? to all nine ways
of looking at the world. Because for me as a
six, I'm great at project management. I love
to see where are the holes. Other people, it's
like, oh, how did you notice that? Even out in
public, I was recently out and I said, did you
drop this earring? You know, did you do this?
Can you see this? Like, it's just my way of looking
at things. Other people just go by and they don't
even think about it. Or other people are more
relationship and I need to keep that relationship.
So there's ways that we have that once we have
that awareness and know what's important, then
we can relax and say, this is me. And when I'm
in alignment with that, I have more energy, I
get things done. And when I don't, I procrastinate.
I feel that push -pull. Or maybe I'm in the wrong
role because I don't feel energized by it. And
what an amazing tool for an employer or small
business owner to see how do I fit my people
into these different roles and how do they interact
together. So that's why I really love them. It
really gives us deeper understanding of ourselves
and others. And the number one mantra for everyone.
to remember from today, from conflict resolution,
all behavior makes sense, at least to that person.
So be curious. What's going on for them? Instead
of being reactive, and that's normal, with awareness
we can step back, take that breath, and be curious.
And it shifts everything. That's wonderful advice.
Step back and take a deep breath. So now I understand
how these exams and Enneagrams, the motivational
maps, they really do help with that self -awareness.
So if I'm understanding correctly, by practicing
that, then you're able to live an authentic life
and be more engaged. Yes, and understanding each
other, especially, you know, people work really
great individually, but how do they work as a
team? Are they engaged? So in hiring even, maybe,
I mean, this is not the only piece. It's kind
of the ending piece. I've gone through all my
candidates. I see who really is a good fit for
this role, their education, their experience.
But are they energized by that? Are they going
to stay in the job? Say I'm hiring for public
relations or reception, something that's forward
with the public. If I don't have relationship
motivators, I'm not going to stay. I'm going
to get irritated. I'm going to say, this just
isn't for me. If I don't have a builder that
wants that above average lifestyle, and they're
in a commission sales role, they're probably
not going to stay. So we need to look at the
context of what people are doing and see, okay,
this is what's important. And as a team, having
people in those roles, where they're not competitive,
but they're actually working together and saying,
you bring this, you bring this, and look at all
of these wonderful things we're bringing to the
table. We're more alike than different. So now
my curiosity, I have two questions for you. And
I've been focusing a lot on self -leadership,
right? Leading yourself from within first before
talking about leading others. And you've been
talking a lot about how it works. So my curiosity
is asking, do the founders or owners or CEOs
of the companies that you help also partake in
these activities and sessions so that they too
can be aligned with? Absolutely. One of the things
that we see is potential tensions or conflicts
within our personal mouths and within each other
as well. Say I'm a business owner and I have
a really high director and I also have this searcher.
I want to make a difference. I want to make impact.
And I am so much focused on being in control,
of being in charge, being responsible, but I'm
not letting others help. If I have that strong
director, how can I let go and delegate and have
others help me? Because that vision isn't complete
without bringing other people in. So having that
and seeing, oh, yeah, that's really strong. Or
say you're collaborating. And I worked with someone,
we were going to collaborate in a joint venture.
And every time we spoke, it was like, oh, I feel
like they're trying to sell to me. This doesn't
feel comfortable. Sure enough, their builder
was super, super high. Like that was the main
focus. And then for me, it was more searcher
up at times. So I decided we're not a good fit.
So it helped me to learn what's important to
me. Maybe my searcher needs to come down a bit.
And as a business owner, I need to bring up some
of the builder or something else. So it brings
in that self -awareness to see. Where am I not
stepping up? What do I need to open up within
myself? And how can I parcel out those tensions
to say, okay, I can take care of both of those,
but in different ways, so I'm not procrastinating,
for example. Is there one result that is more
dominant than others? Like if you were to say
in general terms, right, you have trans or...
Is there one specific problem or is there a specific
category that just comes up over and over again,
no matter who the individual is? Often it is
a conflict resolution. I find it goes back to
that. What I find is most people do not know
what energizes them and what keeps them motivated
towards what's important because we haven't had
good research. It's only in the last while that
we've really understood what motivation is. So
there's motivation kind of gets that bad rap.
And we hear that inspiration versus motivation.
And I have this discussion with people all the
time. Inspiration lasts for a short time. It's
like, you know, we go to a speaker and it's like,
wow, yeah, I'm going to make all these changes.
But it's the motivation that keeps us going in
alignment. And there's over a million combinations.
So no two people are alike of the intensity and
what's important to them. And it changes because
we change over time. having that piece helps
us with the conflict resolution to begin with,
both within and with others, because we see what's
important to us and how we dismiss people because
of something that isn't comfortable. If one of
our motivators is really low, we don't see the
benefit and we can feel irritated by people that
have that. An example I like to use is Star.
So we have this person that's really out there.
They like to be seen and acknowledged for what
they do. And we have a really low one. And it's
like, oh, what's with that person? We don't need
that huge, huge star. But as an entrepreneur
or a small business owner, if you don't have
some to say, this is me, this is my business,
and I'm good at what I do, how are we going to
have a business? No one's going to know who we
are. We're the best kept secret. So it's understanding
how we can use these to our benefit. And then
what comes up is with the conflict resolution,
we know ourselves so much deeper that we can
have the discussion and see, yes, this is important
to them, or we see people who do something different,
and then we don't create that conflict. We can
have the discussion and bring in the neutral
language, ask questions instead of making assumptions.
So often we make assumptions and it creates a
lot of problems. So you're also an author and
a speaker. What is your next milestone? Well,
I was just on a Caribbean cruise and I'm now
an international speaker. So that was a big milestone
for me. I really would like to do more in -person
speaking and workshops and training to really
help people because especially with our economy,
people are liking the group things. So I'm concentrating
on bringing some of that in so it lessens the
cost, but it also makes it so people are connecting
because people are feeling so disconnected. You
know, we talked about How there was the great,
where people left jobs and all that after COVID.
Now we're talking about the great resignation.
And now we have the great disengagement, where
people are feeling disengaged. They want change.
They're kind of in that same boat again. And
they don't feel they can. So they feel stuck.
They feel disconnected and disengaged. And really,
that's my big purpose right now is to get people
feeling engaged again with their lives, with
their work, and realizing that often we make
the change, but it's the same energy dynamic.
The faces change, but the same things happen.
So until we know what's important to us, that's
going to keep going, going to keep happening,
and people are still going to be unhappy and
disconnected. So where can we find your book
or get more information about you? I have two
websites. It's positiveteamingagement .com is
for the teams. And alifeofchoice .ca is more
focused on individuals and couples. And that's
where the books are listed and some of the other
events. I've got some free events coming up.
Sounds great. I'll also leave that in the summary
in the notes of the episode so that you can click
and connect. Well, thank you so much for joining
me today, Robin. Thank you. And thank you all
for tuning in to another episode of Milestone
Moments in Business and Leadership. Until next
time.