WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.080 Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where 00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:05.960 we explore the journeys that lead to success. 00:00:06.599 --> 00:00:10.220 I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five 00:00:10.220 --> 00:00:13.859 Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you 00:00:13.859 --> 00:00:17.100 insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders 00:00:17.100 --> 00:00:20.820 and experts who will share not just their expertise, 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.120 but the milestone moments that have reshaped 00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:27.059 their journeys and led to significant achievements. 00:00:27.960 --> 00:00:30.359 So if you're looking for motivation, you're in 00:00:30.359 --> 00:00:33.560 the right place. Subscribe now and discover the 00:00:33.560 --> 00:00:40.359 milestones that mark the path to success. Welcome 00:00:40.359 --> 00:00:43.740 to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business 00:00:43.740 --> 00:00:46.579 and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick, your host. 00:00:46.840 --> 00:00:50.719 And today, my special guest is Robin McTague. 00:00:51.469 --> 00:00:55.990 Robin is the creator of A Life of Choice Coaching 00:00:55.990 --> 00:01:00.289 and Positive Team Engagement. She is a consultant, 00:01:00.570 --> 00:01:04.909 a speaker, and author. She uses diverse and holistic 00:01:04.909 --> 00:01:07.790 techniques to get to the heart of what's required 00:01:07.790 --> 00:01:12.250 to integrate who you are, to live your life authentically, 00:01:12.390 --> 00:01:16.209 be engaged, and handle whatever comes your way. 00:01:16.760 --> 00:01:20.299 She builds successful relationships, or she helps 00:01:20.299 --> 00:01:23.140 others build successful relationships in all 00:01:23.140 --> 00:01:26.260 areas of their lives, and that results in harmony 00:01:26.260 --> 00:01:29.859 and moving towards what matters to you most. 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:33.359 Welcome to the show, Robin. Thank you so much 00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:36.120 for having me. So tell us a little bit about 00:01:36.120 --> 00:01:39.560 yourself, looking back on your journey. How did 00:01:39.560 --> 00:01:43.560 you get to starting a life of choice coaching, 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:47.959 which is where you are at now? For me, it was 00:01:47.959 --> 00:01:51.340 a really challenging upbringing. My mom was suicidal. 00:01:51.640 --> 00:01:54.040 First time I remember her attempting suicide, 00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:57.379 I was four. And my dad was an alcoholic and abuser. 00:01:57.819 --> 00:02:01.379 And there was that part of me that was very aware. 00:02:01.799 --> 00:02:04.500 And I remember having existential conversations 00:02:04.500 --> 00:02:08.479 with myself, like 11, 12 years old, saying, why 00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:11.020 are some people aware and other people aren't? 00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:15.090 So I really, my intellect saved me. through all 00:02:15.090 --> 00:02:17.830 of that. And so I wanted to learn and grow. I 00:02:17.830 --> 00:02:19.810 was the first one to finish high school in my 00:02:19.810 --> 00:02:22.949 family and go on to university and more training. 00:02:23.330 --> 00:02:26.409 And so that really helped me to, because really 00:02:26.409 --> 00:02:29.110 what I was looking for was understanding people 00:02:29.110 --> 00:02:31.909 and why they do what they do. So that's left 00:02:31.909 --> 00:02:37.330 me with that lifelong love of learning. And the 00:02:37.330 --> 00:02:40.949 big pivot for me was having cancer 25 years ago 00:02:40.949 --> 00:02:44.689 and really doing the deep work. to get to the 00:02:44.689 --> 00:02:47.569 feelings of how I felt about things, and really 00:02:47.569 --> 00:02:50.169 put some of the past behind me so I could have 00:02:50.169 --> 00:02:53.270 more confidence and move forward in life. I worked 00:02:53.270 --> 00:02:57.370 for an organization for 34 years, and I could 00:02:57.370 --> 00:03:00.710 leave early because of my years of service and 00:03:00.710 --> 00:03:04.229 learn the map and all these other tools. And 00:03:04.229 --> 00:03:08.770 I really saw how accurate it got to how we do 00:03:08.770 --> 00:03:12.360 feel and what's important to us. So I really 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:14.759 saw the benefit of helping people understand 00:03:14.759 --> 00:03:17.580 that so they could understand themselves and 00:03:17.580 --> 00:03:19.819 others, and especially the conflict resolution. 00:03:19.960 --> 00:03:22.860 And I find whatever conversation I have with 00:03:22.860 --> 00:03:26.020 people, it always goes back to that. Well, I 00:03:26.020 --> 00:03:27.719 love how you're able to talk about conflict with 00:03:27.719 --> 00:03:31.219 a smile. I've had one other guest, and her focus 00:03:31.219 --> 00:03:34.919 is conflict resolution, and she embraces it. 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:36.659 It was almost like, wow, you're inviting everyone 00:03:36.659 --> 00:03:39.819 to have conflict, but it's how to deal with it. 00:03:41.610 --> 00:03:44.569 You are deeply versed in tools like Enneagram 00:03:44.569 --> 00:03:47.210 and motivational maps and conflict resolution. 00:03:47.409 --> 00:03:50.610 Can you tell us a little bit about these, you 00:03:50.610 --> 00:03:53.770 know, frameworks or tools and why they're essential 00:03:53.770 --> 00:03:58.389 for creating lasting transformation? What I find, 00:03:58.430 --> 00:04:00.530 there's a lot of tools out there and they all 00:04:00.530 --> 00:04:03.409 have their benefit. But these tools that I'm 00:04:03.409 --> 00:04:06.909 working with really allows a shift and growth 00:04:06.909 --> 00:04:10.439 and going deep. within ourselves and understanding 00:04:10.439 --> 00:04:14.020 other people. So they're dynamic. We're constantly 00:04:14.020 --> 00:04:18.040 changing as humans. So we need tools and ways 00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:20.259 of dealing with things that are also dynamic. 00:04:21.300 --> 00:04:24.540 Motivation changes over time. And we forget that. 00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:28.120 And it's really hard to pinpoint. So what I do 00:04:28.120 --> 00:04:31.920 is help make the invisible visible. There's no 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:34.079 cookie cutter approach. These are just tools 00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:37.939 to say what is important to me. Most often we 00:04:37.939 --> 00:04:40.139 don't. And if we're starting out in our business 00:04:40.139 --> 00:04:42.759 or we're going along and we're listening to the 00:04:42.759 --> 00:04:45.639 latest people, we're trying to fit ourselves 00:04:45.639 --> 00:04:48.000 into someone else's model that worked for them. 00:04:48.220 --> 00:04:51.620 And it doesn't always work for us. So these help 00:04:51.620 --> 00:04:54.879 us to see what's important to me. How intense 00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:58.519 are these motivators to me? If I'm so focused 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:02.220 on the future, what am I doing now? What's the 00:05:02.220 --> 00:05:05.519 places where I'm letting go of relationship building? 00:05:06.329 --> 00:05:09.990 and achievement. So we need to balance those 00:05:09.990 --> 00:05:14.009 out. And this helps us to see, am I giving something 00:05:14.009 --> 00:05:17.389 up? Am I ignoring people or feeling uncomfortable 00:05:17.389 --> 00:05:21.189 around certain people because they have different 00:05:21.189 --> 00:05:24.949 motivators? So often we talk about personality 00:05:24.949 --> 00:05:28.089 conflicts. Most often it's motivational conflict. 00:05:28.939 --> 00:05:31.040 So when we can bring in that neutral language 00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:34.079 and say, this is simply what's important to that 00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:37.540 person, and this is important to me, then we 00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:40.279 can have better understanding and go deeper and 00:05:40.279 --> 00:05:42.579 accept that we all bring different things to 00:05:42.579 --> 00:05:45.699 the table. So that's the start of what I do. 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:49.199 The Enneagram goes deeper into our worldview. 00:05:49.720 --> 00:05:52.899 How do I see the world? What are my blind spots? 00:05:53.259 --> 00:05:57.000 And how can I open that up? to all nine ways 00:05:57.000 --> 00:06:01.399 of looking at the world. Because for me as a 00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:04.480 six, I'm great at project management. I love 00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:07.399 to see where are the holes. Other people, it's 00:06:07.399 --> 00:06:10.579 like, oh, how did you notice that? Even out in 00:06:10.579 --> 00:06:13.360 public, I was recently out and I said, did you 00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:15.860 drop this earring? You know, did you do this? 00:06:15.980 --> 00:06:18.860 Can you see this? Like, it's just my way of looking 00:06:18.860 --> 00:06:21.750 at things. Other people just go by and they don't 00:06:21.750 --> 00:06:24.430 even think about it. Or other people are more 00:06:24.430 --> 00:06:27.629 relationship and I need to keep that relationship. 00:06:28.490 --> 00:06:33.449 So there's ways that we have that once we have 00:06:33.449 --> 00:06:37.449 that awareness and know what's important, then 00:06:37.449 --> 00:06:42.730 we can relax and say, this is me. And when I'm 00:06:42.730 --> 00:06:46.089 in alignment with that, I have more energy, I 00:06:46.089 --> 00:06:49.800 get things done. And when I don't, I procrastinate. 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:53.879 I feel that push -pull. Or maybe I'm in the wrong 00:06:53.879 --> 00:06:57.920 role because I don't feel energized by it. And 00:06:57.920 --> 00:07:00.540 what an amazing tool for an employer or small 00:07:00.540 --> 00:07:03.779 business owner to see how do I fit my people 00:07:03.779 --> 00:07:06.399 into these different roles and how do they interact 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:09.399 together. So that's why I really love them. It 00:07:09.399 --> 00:07:12.399 really gives us deeper understanding of ourselves 00:07:12.399 --> 00:07:16.560 and others. And the number one mantra for everyone. 00:07:17.500 --> 00:07:20.060 to remember from today, from conflict resolution, 00:07:20.699 --> 00:07:25.420 all behavior makes sense, at least to that person. 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:29.139 So be curious. What's going on for them? Instead 00:07:29.139 --> 00:07:34.240 of being reactive, and that's normal, with awareness 00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:39.259 we can step back, take that breath, and be curious. 00:07:39.339 --> 00:07:45.279 And it shifts everything. That's wonderful advice. 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:50.279 Step back and take a deep breath. So now I understand 00:07:50.279 --> 00:07:55.199 how these exams and Enneagrams, the motivational 00:07:55.199 --> 00:07:58.579 maps, they really do help with that self -awareness. 00:07:58.660 --> 00:08:01.959 So if I'm understanding correctly, by practicing 00:08:01.959 --> 00:08:05.339 that, then you're able to live an authentic life 00:08:05.339 --> 00:08:09.379 and be more engaged. Yes, and understanding each 00:08:09.379 --> 00:08:12.519 other, especially, you know, people work really 00:08:12.519 --> 00:08:14.980 great individually, but how do they work as a 00:08:14.980 --> 00:08:20.360 team? Are they engaged? So in hiring even, maybe, 00:08:20.500 --> 00:08:22.740 I mean, this is not the only piece. It's kind 00:08:22.740 --> 00:08:25.500 of the ending piece. I've gone through all my 00:08:25.500 --> 00:08:29.060 candidates. I see who really is a good fit for 00:08:29.060 --> 00:08:31.420 this role, their education, their experience. 00:08:31.660 --> 00:08:34.039 But are they energized by that? Are they going 00:08:34.039 --> 00:08:37.740 to stay in the job? Say I'm hiring for public 00:08:37.740 --> 00:08:41.740 relations or reception, something that's forward 00:08:41.740 --> 00:08:44.440 with the public. If I don't have relationship 00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:47.379 motivators, I'm not going to stay. I'm going 00:08:47.379 --> 00:08:51.320 to get irritated. I'm going to say, this just 00:08:51.320 --> 00:08:54.600 isn't for me. If I don't have a builder that 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:57.500 wants that above average lifestyle, and they're 00:08:57.500 --> 00:08:59.960 in a commission sales role, they're probably 00:08:59.960 --> 00:09:02.620 not going to stay. So we need to look at the 00:09:02.620 --> 00:09:06.740 context of what people are doing and see, okay, 00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:10.860 this is what's important. And as a team, having 00:09:10.860 --> 00:09:14.149 people in those roles, where they're not competitive, 00:09:14.250 --> 00:09:16.549 but they're actually working together and saying, 00:09:16.629 --> 00:09:19.950 you bring this, you bring this, and look at all 00:09:19.950 --> 00:09:21.730 of these wonderful things we're bringing to the 00:09:21.730 --> 00:09:26.950 table. We're more alike than different. So now 00:09:26.950 --> 00:09:29.129 my curiosity, I have two questions for you. And 00:09:29.129 --> 00:09:31.529 I've been focusing a lot on self -leadership, 00:09:31.529 --> 00:09:35.230 right? Leading yourself from within first before 00:09:35.230 --> 00:09:37.669 talking about leading others. And you've been 00:09:37.669 --> 00:09:42.080 talking a lot about how it works. So my curiosity 00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:46.259 is asking, do the founders or owners or CEOs 00:09:46.259 --> 00:09:50.720 of the companies that you help also partake in 00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:54.720 these activities and sessions so that they too 00:09:54.720 --> 00:10:00.639 can be aligned with? Absolutely. One of the things 00:10:00.639 --> 00:10:04.399 that we see is potential tensions or conflicts 00:10:04.399 --> 00:10:07.720 within our personal mouths and within each other 00:10:07.720 --> 00:10:13.120 as well. Say I'm a business owner and I have 00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:18.399 a really high director and I also have this searcher. 00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:21.399 I want to make a difference. I want to make impact. 00:10:22.059 --> 00:10:28.320 And I am so much focused on being in control, 00:10:28.600 --> 00:10:32.320 of being in charge, being responsible, but I'm 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:35.320 not letting others help. If I have that strong 00:10:35.320 --> 00:10:40.460 director, how can I let go and delegate and have 00:10:40.460 --> 00:10:43.299 others help me? Because that vision isn't complete 00:10:43.299 --> 00:10:46.919 without bringing other people in. So having that 00:10:46.919 --> 00:10:50.460 and seeing, oh, yeah, that's really strong. Or 00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:54.919 say you're collaborating. And I worked with someone, 00:10:55.039 --> 00:10:57.899 we were going to collaborate in a joint venture. 00:10:58.570 --> 00:11:01.350 And every time we spoke, it was like, oh, I feel 00:11:01.350 --> 00:11:03.049 like they're trying to sell to me. This doesn't 00:11:03.049 --> 00:11:05.669 feel comfortable. Sure enough, their builder 00:11:05.669 --> 00:11:08.029 was super, super high. Like that was the main 00:11:08.029 --> 00:11:12.070 focus. And then for me, it was more searcher 00:11:12.070 --> 00:11:14.210 up at times. So I decided we're not a good fit. 00:11:14.490 --> 00:11:16.830 So it helped me to learn what's important to 00:11:16.830 --> 00:11:19.769 me. Maybe my searcher needs to come down a bit. 00:11:19.809 --> 00:11:22.370 And as a business owner, I need to bring up some 00:11:22.370 --> 00:11:24.990 of the builder or something else. So it brings 00:11:24.990 --> 00:11:28.809 in that self -awareness to see. Where am I not 00:11:28.809 --> 00:11:33.309 stepping up? What do I need to open up within 00:11:33.309 --> 00:11:37.389 myself? And how can I parcel out those tensions 00:11:37.389 --> 00:11:40.570 to say, okay, I can take care of both of those, 00:11:40.649 --> 00:11:42.970 but in different ways, so I'm not procrastinating, 00:11:43.190 --> 00:11:48.190 for example. Is there one result that is more 00:11:48.190 --> 00:11:51.250 dominant than others? Like if you were to say 00:11:51.250 --> 00:11:54.409 in general terms, right, you have trans or... 00:11:54.909 --> 00:11:59.210 Is there one specific problem or is there a specific 00:11:59.210 --> 00:12:02.769 category that just comes up over and over again, 00:12:02.850 --> 00:12:07.240 no matter who the individual is? Often it is 00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:09.779 a conflict resolution. I find it goes back to 00:12:09.779 --> 00:12:12.799 that. What I find is most people do not know 00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:15.740 what energizes them and what keeps them motivated 00:12:15.740 --> 00:12:20.039 towards what's important because we haven't had 00:12:20.039 --> 00:12:22.559 good research. It's only in the last while that 00:12:22.559 --> 00:12:25.340 we've really understood what motivation is. So 00:12:25.340 --> 00:12:27.639 there's motivation kind of gets that bad rap. 00:12:27.929 --> 00:12:30.710 And we hear that inspiration versus motivation. 00:12:31.289 --> 00:12:33.509 And I have this discussion with people all the 00:12:33.509 --> 00:12:36.730 time. Inspiration lasts for a short time. It's 00:12:36.730 --> 00:12:38.629 like, you know, we go to a speaker and it's like, 00:12:38.690 --> 00:12:40.389 wow, yeah, I'm going to make all these changes. 00:12:40.610 --> 00:12:43.250 But it's the motivation that keeps us going in 00:12:43.250 --> 00:12:46.250 alignment. And there's over a million combinations. 00:12:46.549 --> 00:12:51.309 So no two people are alike of the intensity and 00:12:51.309 --> 00:12:53.950 what's important to them. And it changes because 00:12:53.950 --> 00:12:59.120 we change over time. having that piece helps 00:12:59.120 --> 00:13:01.940 us with the conflict resolution to begin with, 00:13:02.059 --> 00:13:05.240 both within and with others, because we see what's 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:09.100 important to us and how we dismiss people because 00:13:09.100 --> 00:13:12.980 of something that isn't comfortable. If one of 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:15.740 our motivators is really low, we don't see the 00:13:15.740 --> 00:13:20.740 benefit and we can feel irritated by people that 00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:23.799 have that. An example I like to use is Star. 00:13:24.400 --> 00:13:26.659 So we have this person that's really out there. 00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:28.720 They like to be seen and acknowledged for what 00:13:28.720 --> 00:13:31.620 they do. And we have a really low one. And it's 00:13:31.620 --> 00:13:36.899 like, oh, what's with that person? We don't need 00:13:36.899 --> 00:13:41.700 that huge, huge star. But as an entrepreneur 00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:44.299 or a small business owner, if you don't have 00:13:44.299 --> 00:13:47.240 some to say, this is me, this is my business, 00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:51.639 and I'm good at what I do, how are we going to 00:13:51.639 --> 00:13:53.820 have a business? No one's going to know who we 00:13:53.820 --> 00:13:56.919 are. We're the best kept secret. So it's understanding 00:13:56.919 --> 00:14:00.220 how we can use these to our benefit. And then 00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:03.019 what comes up is with the conflict resolution, 00:14:03.240 --> 00:14:06.399 we know ourselves so much deeper that we can 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:10.100 have the discussion and see, yes, this is important 00:14:10.100 --> 00:14:15.259 to them, or we see people who do something different, 00:14:15.299 --> 00:14:19.240 and then we don't create that conflict. We can 00:14:19.240 --> 00:14:22.220 have the discussion and bring in the neutral 00:14:22.220 --> 00:14:26.259 language, ask questions instead of making assumptions. 00:14:26.419 --> 00:14:30.259 So often we make assumptions and it creates a 00:14:30.259 --> 00:14:35.480 lot of problems. So you're also an author and 00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:39.399 a speaker. What is your next milestone? Well, 00:14:39.460 --> 00:14:41.860 I was just on a Caribbean cruise and I'm now 00:14:41.860 --> 00:14:45.779 an international speaker. So that was a big milestone 00:14:45.779 --> 00:14:50.940 for me. I really would like to do more in -person 00:14:50.940 --> 00:14:55.980 speaking and workshops and training to really 00:14:55.980 --> 00:14:59.580 help people because especially with our economy, 00:14:59.759 --> 00:15:04.159 people are liking the group things. So I'm concentrating 00:15:04.159 --> 00:15:07.419 on bringing some of that in so it lessens the 00:15:07.419 --> 00:15:12.480 cost, but it also makes it so people are connecting 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:16.000 because people are feeling so disconnected. You 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:20.460 know, we talked about How there was the great, 00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:24.120 where people left jobs and all that after COVID. 00:15:24.220 --> 00:15:26.620 Now we're talking about the great resignation. 00:15:27.100 --> 00:15:30.080 And now we have the great disengagement, where 00:15:30.080 --> 00:15:33.039 people are feeling disengaged. They want change. 00:15:33.340 --> 00:15:36.220 They're kind of in that same boat again. And 00:15:36.220 --> 00:15:38.879 they don't feel they can. So they feel stuck. 00:15:39.100 --> 00:15:42.639 They feel disconnected and disengaged. And really, 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:45.460 that's my big purpose right now is to get people 00:15:45.460 --> 00:15:48.639 feeling engaged again with their lives, with 00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:52.379 their work, and realizing that often we make 00:15:52.379 --> 00:15:55.080 the change, but it's the same energy dynamic. 00:15:55.659 --> 00:15:58.620 The faces change, but the same things happen. 00:15:58.700 --> 00:16:01.620 So until we know what's important to us, that's 00:16:01.620 --> 00:16:03.580 going to keep going, going to keep happening, 00:16:03.700 --> 00:16:06.139 and people are still going to be unhappy and 00:16:06.139 --> 00:16:10.610 disconnected. So where can we find your book 00:16:10.610 --> 00:16:14.309 or get more information about you? I have two 00:16:14.309 --> 00:16:18.529 websites. It's positiveteamingagement .com is 00:16:18.529 --> 00:16:22.269 for the teams. And alifeofchoice .ca is more 00:16:22.269 --> 00:16:25.590 focused on individuals and couples. And that's 00:16:25.590 --> 00:16:27.870 where the books are listed and some of the other 00:16:27.870 --> 00:16:30.529 events. I've got some free events coming up. 00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:34.379 Sounds great. I'll also leave that in the summary 00:16:34.379 --> 00:16:37.940 in the notes of the episode so that you can click 00:16:37.940 --> 00:16:40.299 and connect. Well, thank you so much for joining 00:16:40.299 --> 00:16:43.299 me today, Robin. Thank you. And thank you all 00:16:43.299 --> 00:16:46.120 for tuning in to another episode of Milestone 00:16:46.120 --> 00:16:48.919 Moments in Business and Leadership. Until next 00:16:48.919 --> 00:16:49.279 time.