WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.080 Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where 00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:05.960 we explore the journeys that lead to success. 00:00:06.599 --> 00:00:10.220 I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five 00:00:10.220 --> 00:00:13.859 Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you 00:00:13.859 --> 00:00:17.100 insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders 00:00:17.100 --> 00:00:20.820 and experts who will share not just their expertise, 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.120 but the milestone moments that have reshaped 00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:27.059 their journeys and led to significant achievements. 00:00:27.960 --> 00:00:30.359 So if you're looking for motivation, you're in 00:00:30.359 --> 00:00:33.560 the right place. Subscribe now and discover the 00:00:33.560 --> 00:00:40.359 milestones that mark the path to success. Welcome 00:00:40.359 --> 00:00:43.560 to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business 00:00:43.560 --> 00:00:46.439 and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick, your host. 00:00:46.659 --> 00:00:50.159 And today, my special guest is Dr. Elizabeth 00:00:50.159 --> 00:00:54.710 Deggie Dubois. an executive coach, conflict resolution 00:00:54.710 --> 00:00:59.090 expert, and certified divorce coach who specializes 00:00:59.090 --> 00:01:02.450 in helping business owners step into their full 00:01:02.450 --> 00:01:06.950 unapologetic power. With a Ph .D. in conflict 00:01:06.950 --> 00:01:10.230 resolution and a master's degree in sociology, 00:01:11.409 --> 00:01:15.370 Dr. Liz blends academic insight with real -world 00:01:15.370 --> 00:01:18.810 coaching to help clients break free from people 00:01:18.810 --> 00:01:22.670 -pleasing, overthinking, and all of the societal 00:01:22.670 --> 00:01:26.150 programming that holds them back. Through one 00:01:26.150 --> 00:01:29.010 -on -one coaching, group programs, and public 00:01:29.010 --> 00:01:32.870 speaking, she guides others to reconnect with 00:01:32.870 --> 00:01:35.689 their truest selves and lead with confidence, 00:01:35.849 --> 00:01:39.310 clarity, and deep self -acceptance. Welcome to 00:01:39.310 --> 00:01:43.349 the show, Dr. Liz. Thanks for having me. So your 00:01:43.349 --> 00:01:45.969 work is all about helping others let go of people 00:01:45.969 --> 00:01:52.239 -pleasing unapologetic power. Can you tell us 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:54.060 a little bit about you and what sparked your 00:01:54.060 --> 00:01:56.939 passion for this kind of deep transformational 00:01:56.939 --> 00:02:00.799 coaching? Yeah, well, thanks for having me. I'm 00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:03.299 really excited to be here. I have to say like 00:02:03.299 --> 00:02:05.719 all of the coaching lingo, some of this, including 00:02:05.719 --> 00:02:08.960 my own, I'm just like, it's all just kind of 00:02:08.960 --> 00:02:14.280 a veneer of like, hire me for a high ticket package 00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:16.639 and I will like help you transform from the inside 00:02:16.639 --> 00:02:19.389 out. And I think the coaching industry is really 00:02:19.389 --> 00:02:23.169 in an interesting space where people are not 00:02:23.169 --> 00:02:26.750 super interested in that kind of like empowerment 00:02:26.750 --> 00:02:30.389 sparkle mumbo jumbo. And so the way that I started 00:02:30.389 --> 00:02:33.789 to think about my work is really this. People 00:02:33.789 --> 00:02:36.090 self -sabotage for lots and lots of different 00:02:36.090 --> 00:02:39.210 reasons and leaders self -sabotage for a couple 00:02:39.210 --> 00:02:41.389 of very specific reasons. And when I think about 00:02:41.389 --> 00:02:44.009 this kind of logical life and authentic self 00:02:44.009 --> 00:02:46.009 and leading with your whole heart and blah, blah, 00:02:46.030 --> 00:02:48.020 blah, blah, blah. What it comes down to is like 00:02:48.020 --> 00:02:50.900 there's stuff that leaders really, really, really 00:02:50.900 --> 00:02:53.400 feel passionately about. Like this is my calling. 00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:55.580 This is what I'm supposed to do. And I hear that 00:02:55.580 --> 00:02:58.300 from people that work in the mental health field. 00:02:58.379 --> 00:03:00.139 I hear that from people that are in sales. I 00:03:00.139 --> 00:03:01.580 hear that from people that have started their 00:03:01.580 --> 00:03:03.479 own companies. I hear that from authors, right? 00:03:03.620 --> 00:03:05.520 Kind of all over the board. But the common thing 00:03:05.520 --> 00:03:08.539 is I feel like a deep sense of conviction that 00:03:08.539 --> 00:03:11.280 this is what I'm supposed to be doing in my time 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:14.439 on this planet. And so for me, the work that 00:03:14.439 --> 00:03:17.180 I do is figure out. Well, why aren't you doing 00:03:17.180 --> 00:03:20.919 that? If you're clear that this is what you want 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:23.219 and, you know, for any of the people that I've 00:03:23.219 --> 00:03:24.979 worked with and a lot of people I've encountered, 00:03:25.219 --> 00:03:28.580 the issue is not you're not smart enough, right? 00:03:28.659 --> 00:03:31.060 It's if you're deeply convicted and you're smart 00:03:31.060 --> 00:03:32.780 enough, you have the skillset, you're talented, 00:03:32.939 --> 00:03:36.139 right? You want to be doing this. So why aren't 00:03:36.139 --> 00:03:38.300 you right? And that's really what my coaching 00:03:38.300 --> 00:03:40.400 is all about. It's about pinpointing, like, why 00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:43.789 is this not? moving forward why are you sabotaging 00:03:43.789 --> 00:03:45.729 why are you shooting yourself in the foot and 00:03:45.729 --> 00:03:48.569 let's do something like that because again I 00:03:48.569 --> 00:03:52.909 think the coaching space specifically I'll say 00:03:52.909 --> 00:03:54.710 a little bit of the mental health space but less 00:03:54.710 --> 00:03:59.030 so is really about like you go girl blah blah 00:03:59.030 --> 00:04:01.990 and the people I work with don't need that kind 00:04:01.990 --> 00:04:04.889 of sparkle affirmations what they need is someone 00:04:04.889 --> 00:04:07.550 to come in and be like okay this specific thing 00:04:07.550 --> 00:04:10.289 that you are doing right here this one tiny thing 00:04:10.289 --> 00:04:13.639 if If you can adjust that, shift that, overcome 00:04:13.639 --> 00:04:15.900 that, let that go, then you're going to move 00:04:15.900 --> 00:04:17.740 forward really, really fast. Because again, it's 00:04:17.740 --> 00:04:20.259 not a deficit of interest. It's not a deficit 00:04:20.259 --> 00:04:23.079 of talent. Oftentimes, it's not a deficit of 00:04:23.079 --> 00:04:25.839 like skill set, like you need to go learn more. 00:04:25.980 --> 00:04:28.100 It's just that there's one or two particular 00:04:28.100 --> 00:04:30.300 things where you keep getting stuck because you 00:04:30.300 --> 00:04:33.680 feel like to move into a new identity where this 00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:36.259 is really normal for you to be able to do or 00:04:36.259 --> 00:04:38.920 have this thing. That feels scary. It doesn't 00:04:38.920 --> 00:04:41.410 feel safe. And so what I find a lot of times 00:04:41.410 --> 00:04:44.189 is people are like, oh, well, just get out of 00:04:44.189 --> 00:04:46.189 your comfort zone. You've got to get out of your 00:04:46.189 --> 00:04:48.689 comfort zone and just like push yourself. And 00:04:48.689 --> 00:04:51.790 it's almost setting people up to fail even more 00:04:51.790 --> 00:04:54.910 because the truth is, unless you feel safe doing 00:04:54.910 --> 00:04:58.129 something, you're not going to do it. Right. 00:04:58.250 --> 00:05:00.889 And so I don't coach a lot of weight loss, but 00:05:00.889 --> 00:05:03.930 we'll just for the sake of an easy example. Let's 00:05:03.930 --> 00:05:05.790 say you need to lose 100 pounds. You're very 00:05:05.790 --> 00:05:07.970 overweight. It's impacting your health. You can't 00:05:07.970 --> 00:05:10.009 climb up the stairs very easily. You can't play 00:05:10.009 --> 00:05:11.490 with your kids. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 00:05:11.610 --> 00:05:17.189 If you don't feel very safe moving forward and 00:05:17.189 --> 00:05:19.589 being thin, maybe you had some negative experiences. 00:05:19.790 --> 00:05:21.850 Maybe you were sexually assaulted growing up 00:05:21.850 --> 00:05:24.189 and you gained a lot of weight in response because 00:05:24.189 --> 00:05:28.050 you feel uncomfortable being a woman with a body 00:05:28.050 --> 00:05:30.850 in the world. Or maybe it feels very selfish. 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:34.680 to invest money in a gym membership or in healthier 00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:38.680 food for yourself. And so you end up doing things 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:41.240 like buying food that's not so healthy because 00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:42.740 you're not really in a place where it's like, 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:45.379 this is something I should prioritize. Am I really 00:05:45.379 --> 00:05:49.379 worth this? And so when we look at those kinds 00:05:49.379 --> 00:05:53.279 of factors where it's about, I feel safe pursuing 00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:56.100 this, not necessarily comfortable, like I'm stoked 00:05:56.100 --> 00:05:59.319 to go to the gym every day, right? I feel safe 00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:01.860 having a thinner body. I feel safe having a promotion. 00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:04.019 I feel safe starting a company even though my 00:06:04.019 --> 00:06:06.199 kids are still in preschool. Whatever it is, 00:06:06.300 --> 00:06:09.040 my work is about safety, pinpointing why you 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:11.920 don't feel that yet, right? Where is that space 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:14.540 inside of yourself, right? Whether mental, physical, 00:06:14.620 --> 00:06:17.920 or otherwise, that's making it feel very, very, 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:23.300 very unsteady to step into this next iteration 00:06:23.300 --> 00:06:27.399 of self. That's what my work is about. I don't 00:06:27.399 --> 00:06:29.079 know. There's lots of different reasons I'm interested 00:06:29.079 --> 00:06:31.040 in it and got inspired in a lot of different 00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:35.660 ways. I think most fundamentally the path was 00:06:35.660 --> 00:06:38.980 one of my first memories of probably four years 00:06:38.980 --> 00:06:41.339 old, just based on where we were living, was 00:06:41.339 --> 00:06:43.379 seeing my mom on the telephone and seeing her 00:06:43.379 --> 00:06:48.579 face just fall. And her best friend had been 00:06:48.579 --> 00:06:52.990 killed by best friend's husband. in front of 00:06:52.990 --> 00:06:55.709 their child and it just you know not at four 00:06:55.709 --> 00:06:59.449 I wasn't like this is my life's purpose um but 00:06:59.449 --> 00:07:03.410 from that age on I had a very real sense of the 00:07:03.410 --> 00:07:06.250 things that I'm interested in the world have 00:07:06.250 --> 00:07:10.410 a lot to do with women and safety and relationships 00:07:10.410 --> 00:07:14.879 and agency and able to speak up for yourself 00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:17.540 and able to leave and so from there kind of pursued 00:07:17.540 --> 00:07:20.120 that as a career path in a lot of different ways 00:07:20.120 --> 00:07:22.459 I started my first consulting firm when I was 00:07:22.459 --> 00:07:26.399 24 working specifically on women's issues and 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:29.600 from there went off to graduate school focused 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:32.899 a lot on on women's issues specifically and violence 00:07:32.899 --> 00:07:35.699 against women which isn't a women's issue right 00:07:35.699 --> 00:07:38.620 it's a men's issue if men stopped beating women 00:07:38.620 --> 00:07:42.029 we wouldn't have like we wouldn't know violence 00:07:42.029 --> 00:07:45.870 against women being a women's issue. So it's 00:07:45.870 --> 00:07:47.949 been an interesting path, but I think the through 00:07:47.949 --> 00:07:51.670 line has really been how do people feel safe 00:07:51.670 --> 00:07:55.230 and how does that sense of safety prevent them 00:07:55.230 --> 00:07:57.670 or empower them to move forward in their lives? 00:07:58.889 --> 00:08:01.689 And so where does the conflict resolution, because 00:08:01.689 --> 00:08:04.790 you've got quite the education in conflict resolution, 00:08:05.029 --> 00:08:08.009 how does that fit in the big picture or what 00:08:08.009 --> 00:08:12.649 led you to focus on that for your Ph .D.? That's 00:08:12.649 --> 00:08:15.209 actually a really interesting story. So I thought 00:08:15.209 --> 00:08:17.829 I was going to get a Ph .D. in sociology. I was 00:08:17.829 --> 00:08:20.949 doing a Ph .D. in literacy. I was doing a master's 00:08:20.949 --> 00:08:24.370 degree in sociology and I had taken one class. 00:08:24.939 --> 00:08:28.019 It was summer 2010. I'd taken a class called 00:08:28.019 --> 00:08:30.699 violence against women or women in violence, 00:08:30.879 --> 00:08:35.840 something like that. And it just this was it, 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:38.059 man. This was what I wanted to do. I was 100 00:08:38.059 --> 00:08:39.899 percent certain like this is what I wanted to 00:08:39.899 --> 00:08:42.980 study. And the person teaching that class was 00:08:42.980 --> 00:08:46.519 a professor at now now the school for conflict 00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:49.039 analysis, the Carter School at George Mason. 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:50.879 But at the time, it was like the Institute for 00:08:50.879 --> 00:08:54.059 Conflict Analysis. And I was just like, this 00:08:54.059 --> 00:08:56.779 is it. I want to switch majors. This is what 00:08:56.779 --> 00:09:00.159 I'm going to do. And I had gone to Cambodia to 00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:03.000 do a research project on sexual violence. And 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:07.399 I was sitting on the top of a hostel in Cambodia. 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:10.059 I was looking out over the river in Phnom Penh 00:09:10.059 --> 00:09:13.519 and I'm meditating and I'm like watching Buddhist 00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:15.779 monks come and like ask for their breakfast. 00:09:15.980 --> 00:09:18.240 And I'm meditating this beautiful space. And 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:20.879 I just had this sense of like, I'm leaving sociology. 00:09:21.240 --> 00:09:23.360 I'm going into conflict resolution. Like this 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:25.970 is what. This is the thing. And I emailed that 00:09:25.970 --> 00:09:29.509 professor sitting on this roof. I emailed Leslie 00:09:29.509 --> 00:09:31.850 Dwyer and I said, I'm going to switch. I'm going 00:09:31.850 --> 00:09:33.110 to switch. Like, this is what I'm going to do. 00:09:33.169 --> 00:09:35.970 And she said, no, you're not. You are going to 00:09:35.970 --> 00:09:39.169 stay in your master's degree and apply to your 00:09:39.169 --> 00:09:43.269 Ph .D. program here at ICAR. And I was like, 00:09:43.309 --> 00:09:45.590 oh, but they they don't accept people unless 00:09:45.590 --> 00:09:48.289 they have master's degrees. And she's like, or 00:09:48.289 --> 00:09:53.019 do they? Right. And so I applied and I. It was 00:09:53.019 --> 00:09:55.940 one of 12 people to get in and I was really grateful 00:09:55.940 --> 00:09:59.639 to have a full ride. And it was just like a tremendous 00:09:59.639 --> 00:10:01.919 honor to go to school there and to go to school 00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:05.500 with people who had really pioneered the field, 00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:08.240 the academic field of conflict analysis and resolution. 00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:11.960 Like they had started this program. A lot of 00:10:11.960 --> 00:10:13.759 them that were kind of the giants through shoulders 00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:17.600 I was standing on had started, had incubated 00:10:17.600 --> 00:10:20.379 this project that is now the Carter School. And 00:10:20.379 --> 00:10:23.519 it was just. It's magical to get to be there. 00:10:24.860 --> 00:10:27.259 So you skipped the master's. You went straight 00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:31.480 into a PhD. No, I finished the master's while 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:34.580 starting the PhD. But like as a fun twist, I 00:10:34.580 --> 00:10:37.059 also had been awarded a fellowship to go study 00:10:37.059 --> 00:10:39.940 in Moscow at the higher school economics for 00:10:39.940 --> 00:10:43.519 a semester. So I was starting my PhD, ending 00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:46.740 my master's degree and studying in Moscow all 00:10:46.740 --> 00:10:49.820 at the same time. And, you know, it was a blast. 00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:52.309 I would do it all over again in seconds. Oh, 00:10:52.309 --> 00:10:54.309 well, my daughter just did. It's called direct 00:10:54.309 --> 00:10:56.730 entry. That's why I was asking, did you do direct 00:10:56.730 --> 00:10:59.789 entry? She went from a bachelor straight into 00:10:59.789 --> 00:11:03.350 a Ph .D. program. It's not easy, but you are 00:11:03.350 --> 00:11:07.009 able to do that in case anyone out there aspires 00:11:07.009 --> 00:11:09.889 for it. You couldn't you couldn't do it in 2008. 00:11:10.210 --> 00:11:12.610 That's always been a thing. Right. But the global. 00:11:13.589 --> 00:11:16.509 Everything had collapsed in 2008. I lived in 00:11:16.509 --> 00:11:18.450 Miami at the time. People were jumping off of 00:11:18.450 --> 00:11:19.950 their buildings because they couldn't make the 00:11:19.950 --> 00:11:22.009 condo payments. And they made all these crazy, 00:11:22.049 --> 00:11:25.230 like, short sale investments and whatnot. And 00:11:25.230 --> 00:11:27.570 so I applied to five different Ph .D. programs. 00:11:27.750 --> 00:11:29.710 And I'd like to think that I'm, like, smart and 00:11:29.710 --> 00:11:32.529 was well -qualified. And every single one of 00:11:32.529 --> 00:11:35.789 them, every single one of them said, right now 00:11:35.789 --> 00:11:38.470 we're not accepting direct applicants because. 00:11:39.210 --> 00:11:41.009 Because everyone wants to go to grad school because 00:11:41.009 --> 00:11:42.809 everybody is losing their jobs because the global 00:11:42.809 --> 00:11:45.289 economy is melting before our eyes. So it was 00:11:45.289 --> 00:11:48.590 a slightly different time. And I'm curious to 00:11:48.590 --> 00:11:51.090 see what happens right now with such widespread 00:11:51.090 --> 00:11:54.850 concerns about the economy happening. Like, is 00:11:54.850 --> 00:11:57.230 that going to change the trajectory of what grad 00:11:57.230 --> 00:11:58.950 school looks like for people, especially with 00:11:58.950 --> 00:12:03.309 student loans and a morphing a bit? So tell us 00:12:03.309 --> 00:12:05.529 a little bit about how you work, perhaps how. 00:12:06.029 --> 00:12:09.210 You help everyone reconnect with the version 00:12:09.210 --> 00:12:13.710 of themselves before all that societal BS takes 00:12:13.710 --> 00:12:16.950 over. Fundamentally, people move forward when 00:12:16.950 --> 00:12:20.350 they feel safe. Safety comes down to, I believe 00:12:20.350 --> 00:12:22.570 that if I'm to move forward in this way that 00:12:22.570 --> 00:12:24.450 I want to move forward, it's going to be okay. 00:12:24.750 --> 00:12:27.289 And a lot of this kind of societal messaging, 00:12:27.350 --> 00:12:29.070 a lot of that comes from our parents, right? 00:12:29.149 --> 00:12:31.090 Or mom and dad or mom and mom, like whatever 00:12:31.090 --> 00:12:34.360 configuration. A lot of that comes from these 00:12:34.360 --> 00:12:37.019 are the expectations that I have for you. And 00:12:37.019 --> 00:12:40.980 that's communicated directly, indirectly, followed 00:12:40.980 --> 00:12:44.000 for us, whatever. Lots of messages that come 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:47.980 our way about who we're allowed to be. And if 00:12:47.980 --> 00:12:49.820 the thing that you really want, right, in the 00:12:49.820 --> 00:12:51.720 first question you asked me, like your calling, 00:12:51.860 --> 00:12:55.799 the thing that you really want is counter to 00:12:55.799 --> 00:12:59.820 how your parents wanted you to be or the messages 00:12:59.820 --> 00:13:03.159 that you've got. writ large from society, you're 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:06.659 going to really struggle with allowing yourself 00:13:06.659 --> 00:13:10.840 to be that person. And so before you can move 00:13:10.840 --> 00:13:13.200 forward, you kind of have to break that open 00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:17.259 and say, well, I feel stuck in this way. I'm 00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:20.360 really frustrated. I don't know how to move forward. 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:21.799 Right. And we're going to be able to say, well, 00:13:21.879 --> 00:13:25.559 OK, what about the thing that you want would 00:13:25.559 --> 00:13:28.309 piss off the people that raised you? Right. And 00:13:28.309 --> 00:13:30.169 that's a really good starting point question 00:13:30.169 --> 00:13:33.509 of like, oh, OK, every single person I work with 00:13:33.509 --> 00:13:35.529 has an answer to that. Right. Immediately. Right. 00:13:35.610 --> 00:13:37.169 They might not be able to be like, oh, my gosh, 00:13:37.250 --> 00:13:40.129 I'm just I'm so stuck. I'm shooting myself in 00:13:40.129 --> 00:13:42.230 the foot. Right. If you ask the question, well, 00:13:42.429 --> 00:13:44.049 this thing you want to do, how would it piss 00:13:44.049 --> 00:13:45.970 off your mom? How would it piss off your dad? 00:13:46.070 --> 00:13:48.169 People immediately have an answer. Right. And 00:13:48.169 --> 00:13:49.809 from there, we can start to work through it. 00:13:49.830 --> 00:13:51.970 Right. That's the kind of like ground zero for 00:13:51.970 --> 00:13:56.440 societal BS is I expect you to be a thing. Right. 00:13:56.559 --> 00:13:59.399 I expect you to be this kind of way. Where can 00:13:59.399 --> 00:14:03.309 we find you online? Sure. My website is just 00:14:03.309 --> 00:14:07.990 drlizdubois .com, which is D -R -L -I -Z -D -U 00:14:07.990 --> 00:14:12.710 -B -O -I -S .com. That's drlizdubois .com. That's 00:14:12.710 --> 00:14:14.629 the easiest way to reach me. You can hop on my 00:14:14.629 --> 00:14:17.929 website and book a consult call there. I hang 00:14:17.929 --> 00:14:22.269 out a bunch on Facebook, which is my full name, 00:14:22.490 --> 00:14:25.269 which is just Elizabeth Diggie. That's D -E -G 00:14:25.269 --> 00:14:28.549 -I Dubois. So Elizabeth D -E -G -I and then space 00:14:28.549 --> 00:14:32.250 D -U -B -O -I -S. I put up a ton of content on 00:14:32.250 --> 00:14:35.610 there and on LinkedIn and you should come find 00:14:35.610 --> 00:14:39.970 me. And I generally have two to three spaces 00:14:39.970 --> 00:14:44.110 open. Not always, but in general, I have two 00:14:44.110 --> 00:14:45.950 to three spaces open for executive coaching. 00:14:46.049 --> 00:14:49.370 So if you are in a place in your career where 00:14:49.370 --> 00:14:52.190 you know you're not really scratching the surface 00:14:52.190 --> 00:14:55.029 yet of what you really want to be doing or you're 00:14:55.029 --> 00:14:56.690 pretty far down the field and you're like, oh, 00:14:56.690 --> 00:14:59.039 I keep getting. Like I just can't get out of 00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:00.919 my way. I have all this potential and I'm just 00:15:00.919 --> 00:15:03.080 like fighting myself every step of the way and 00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:06.820 what's going on. I'm a girl. So reach out. I 00:15:06.820 --> 00:15:08.860 help people stop shooting themselves in the foot. 00:15:09.179 --> 00:15:12.659 Oftentimes my clients will have gone to therapy 00:15:12.659 --> 00:15:15.700 for many years and not gotten that forward momentum 00:15:15.700 --> 00:15:17.360 because they're just dealing with the feelings 00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:21.059 without actually identifying kind of strategy 00:15:21.059 --> 00:15:25.299 behind what to do after that. So I have people 00:15:25.299 --> 00:15:27.360 that spend years in therapy, thousands of dollars 00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:29.379 on courses, working with other coaches around 00:15:29.379 --> 00:15:32.740 productivity and habits and blah, blah, blah, 00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:35.159 blah, blah. They come to me, we move forward 00:15:35.159 --> 00:15:38.200 pretty quickly. Most of my clients make, I want 00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:42.960 to say 25 % more fairly quickly, whether through 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:46.399 promotions or they increase their business. And 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:48.820 generally people will have doubled their income 00:15:48.820 --> 00:15:50.740 within the first two years of working with me. 00:15:52.059 --> 00:15:54.000 A lot of people work with me for three months 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:55.980 and we get at the root cause of what's going 00:15:55.980 --> 00:15:59.120 on and we deal with it and they go on and they 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:01.100 build from that. And that's where that increase 00:16:01.100 --> 00:16:03.779 comes or they continue on with me in the form 00:16:03.779 --> 00:16:06.840 of weekly or biweekly coaching. And we move at 00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:09.980 a much more accelerated rate. So that's how to 00:16:09.980 --> 00:16:12.340 find me. And that's why to work with me if you 00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:15.679 are stuck and screwing yourself over. So what 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:20.100 is your next milestone? I think it's twofold. 00:16:21.470 --> 00:16:27.669 Um, my big goal when my kid started after the 00:16:27.669 --> 00:16:30.830 pandemic, really, um, my kid turned 11 yesterday. 00:16:31.250 --> 00:16:33.950 Um, and my big goal was to know and be known 00:16:33.950 --> 00:16:37.250 in his school. I wanted to know all the teachers. 00:16:37.350 --> 00:16:40.570 I wanted to know the principal and the staff 00:16:40.570 --> 00:16:42.529 and all of that. And then I wanted them to know 00:16:42.529 --> 00:16:45.570 me. I wanted to be the PTA mom. I wanted to be 00:16:45.570 --> 00:16:47.909 the mom, you know, decorating cupcakes and whatnot. 00:16:48.970 --> 00:16:52.190 And so my big milestone is my kid is going to 00:16:52.190 --> 00:16:55.870 be done with elementary school in three weeks, 00:16:56.110 --> 00:16:59.870 four weeks, something like that. And so I'm looking 00:16:59.870 --> 00:17:01.909 forward to getting to build those relationships 00:17:01.909 --> 00:17:04.809 at middle school with his teachers and the PTA. 00:17:04.930 --> 00:17:09.009 So that's my next big milestone. I'm really cognizant 00:17:09.009 --> 00:17:12.190 of the fact that, like, I've only got seven more 00:17:12.190 --> 00:17:16.259 years on the clock. before he goes and does college 00:17:16.259 --> 00:17:18.380 or the military or whatever he chooses to do. 00:17:19.579 --> 00:17:24.700 So that's my big one is to get intertwined with 00:17:24.700 --> 00:17:26.319 middle school and really get to be a presence 00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:28.920 there so that I can support him in the way that 00:17:28.920 --> 00:17:31.900 my mom supported me while I was growing up. And 00:17:31.900 --> 00:17:34.200 then the other one is I'm writing a novel. I've 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:38.180 written a nonfiction dissertation that I turned 00:17:38.180 --> 00:17:40.200 into a book, but I've never written a novel. 00:17:41.099 --> 00:17:44.039 So that's called Bad Mom, and my goal is to have 00:17:44.039 --> 00:17:47.180 it out in May of next year, so a year from now, 00:17:47.319 --> 00:17:50.839 and stay tuned. Well, I'd love to have you back 00:17:50.839 --> 00:17:54.700 talk about Bad Mom, even though it's not connecting, 00:17:54.740 --> 00:17:58.119 because you just talked about how you want to 00:17:58.119 --> 00:18:01.059 be a major part of your child's middle school 00:18:01.059 --> 00:18:05.750 years. You know. Not a bad mom. Well, I'm a recovering 00:18:05.750 --> 00:18:08.569 drug addict and I'm recovering alcoholic. So 00:18:08.569 --> 00:18:12.769 I have 18 and a half years of freedom from alcohol. 00:18:13.390 --> 00:18:18.549 And in August will be four years. So I guess 00:18:18.549 --> 00:18:21.410 three and a half years of freedom from danics 00:18:21.410 --> 00:18:25.849 and marijuana. And so I think any any person 00:18:25.849 --> 00:18:30.369 who lives in a professionally elite space that 00:18:30.369 --> 00:18:32.089 has struggled with drugs and alcohol can really 00:18:32.089 --> 00:18:34.880 tell you like. There's some imposter syndrome 00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:36.839 that goes along with that and kind of, you know, 00:18:36.859 --> 00:18:40.000 can I bounce back from this? And how do I really 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:42.039 feel like I deserve a seat at the table, even 00:18:42.039 --> 00:18:44.059 though, you know, I made these choices and this 00:18:44.059 --> 00:18:48.940 happened? And so certainly for parents, you know, 00:18:48.980 --> 00:18:53.599 I went to my first 12 -step meeting. April 6th 00:18:53.599 --> 00:18:57.279 was 19 years ago. So 19 years and a month ago. 00:18:57.420 --> 00:19:00.839 And, you know, in that time I've met just like 00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:04.660 so many moms that just rake themselves across 00:19:04.660 --> 00:19:08.019 the coals because of stuff that they actually 00:19:08.019 --> 00:19:11.420 did or the way that things could have gone if 00:19:11.420 --> 00:19:16.400 something had gone badly. And yeah, so it's a 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:19.539 little bit of my story of dealing with my Xanax. 00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:26.859 addiction and it's a lot not my story of yeah 00:19:26.859 --> 00:19:28.799 just coming into your own and doing the thing 00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:30.980 and having good sex and raising a great kid and 00:19:30.980 --> 00:19:34.559 all that sort of stuff want to thank you for 00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:38.059 sharing insights having such an open conversation 00:19:38.059 --> 00:19:42.019 with not just myself but everyone that is tuned 00:19:42.019 --> 00:19:47.019 in absolutely my pleasure And thank you all for 00:19:47.019 --> 00:19:50.059 tuning in to another episode of Milestone Moments 00:19:50.059 --> 00:19:53.220 in Business and Leadership. Until next time.