Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where we explore the journeys that lead to success.
I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you
insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders, and experts who will share not just their expertise
but the milestone moments that have reshaped their journeys and led to significant achievements.
So if you're looking for motivation, you're in the right place. Subscribe now and discover the
milestones that mark the path to success.
Welcome to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick,
your host, and today my special guest is Allison Bowen. Allison is a real estate investor and life
coach based in Tennessee. She is dedicated to empowering women through mentorship and encouragement.
Allison Bowen is a positive intelligence coach who helps people unlock their potential by
mastering the mental habits that lead up to greater clarity, focus, and success. Welcome back, Allison.
Thank you so much for that introduction and for having me here again to continue our conversations.
They have been so rich and I'm looking forward to the listeners' feedback about what's really hitting
them and what they value and what they want to hear more about. So with that in mind, why don't we
talk about that power of connection? How when you're either in a crossroads, in a transition,
or in a major life change, how finding like-minded people, finding support in community and having
those connections is beneficial, is so important. It's essential because I don't know if, I'm sure
you're familiar with the thought leader Jim Rohn, but he says you are only as good as the average of
the five people you spend time with. And why is that? And that is because the way that people
around you think impacts you. And the work that I do with my clients with the positive intelligence
framework, there are mirror neurons and our positivity and our positive intelligence can
impact others, but we also have to be aware of the fact that others can impact us. So just beginning
to recognize, I know when I have stepped out into new opportunities, sometimes even my family hasn't
been the best place for me to share some of those dreams because they had limiting beliefs and fears
that they lived with. So it was much better for me to go and find a tribe of people who were
successful, for example, in real estate investing. Because when I started learning about real estate
investing eight years ago, I knew nothing. I had bought one house in my life. I knew nothing about
it. So it was really important for me to surround myself with people because they inspired me.
They were mentors to me. They were examples of what was possible. And they also became people
that I turned to when I started getting into the nitty gritty of how to get there. Like,
because you have a dream, but then you have the plan, the blueprint for getting there, right? We
talked about that in a previous conversation. So building community is important. And I want to
just comment for a moment because as someone who I would characterize as being an ambivert, which is
I'm an extrovert, but I have an introvert leaning aspect to myself as well. Because I
love being around community, building community, being around people, but I do get tired as well
because it takes energy. Community is important not only for extroverts, but for people who are
introverts. So I just want to put that thought out there and encourage those of you who are introverts
who are like, oh, I don't want to have to go to a meetup or a networking group and shake hands.
Those things I know can be super scary for all of us, but particularly so for introverts, but the
value that they have in store for you is really priceless. What was that term? Because I'm very
extroverted, but, and this is probably where my computer encoding focus, I love math, right? So I
call it my own internal geek, but I love it. Ambivert, it's just kind of being like ambidextrous
where you can use weak right and left hand. Well, ambivert is someone who has both qualities of
qualities of introversion and extroversion. I completely agree with you. So maybe we can
talk about the differences in some of these groups because I see them out there. In my case,
I do believe in the power of community. We had talked about how I had learned how to code and
it was really hard. And it was like, if I could just, you know, have someone that could help me
answer some of these questions. And I had no choice, but the start looking for groups and other
developers. Fast forward when I ended up back in Florida and I did complete that master's degree,
I looked up and I was like, oh my gosh, I've been going to school. I've been a mom. I've been
relocating, restarting the house. I didn't have to build it from scratch. You know what it means to
have to move your entire home and pack and unpack. Before I knew it, about three years of my life had
passed since I had transitioned. And during that self-awareness, I was like, it's time for me to
look for a like-minded community. And I started researching and that's how I found Score. And for
those people that don't know what Score is, it is a national nonprofit organization of about 11,000
mentors nationwide. Score is a partner of the SBA and they help people looking to start or grow
their business. And I thought, maybe I'll meet other people interested in business. And at the same
time, I'll find support. Yeah. Building that team for your business, it's just like in real estate
investing because investing in Nashville is not the same as investing in Michigan. And if I live
in Tennessee and invest in Nashville, but I live in Tennessee and invest in Michigan, I'm going to
need different support communities and a CPA or an attorney, a real estate agent potentially, lenders.
So in any area of business that you're in, you're right. You're going to need different
communities that you're going to want to be a part of to support your businesses. So that is something
that is amazing because so many times if we walk into a networking situation like me, for example,
when I joined my local REIA, it's called the Real Estate Investor Association, eight years ago,
I walked into the room and it was primarily men. There weren't a lot of women in the room
and that can be scary. Number one is someone who knew nothing about real estate investing,
someone who had just moved to Tennessee. So I had no friends here. I was just building my network
of friends even, and even like doctors and dentists, I was building all the networks,
rebuilding them all over again. But so if we let those things stop us, then we won't get to
realize the value and the benefit of being in that room. So my tip to the listeners,
get okay with being uncomfortable, get okay with being the dumbest person in the room maybe,
because that means you're in the right room. It doesn't mean you're dumb.
One of the things that I used to do in the early days, people would use terminology. So every
business has kind of its own set of terminology, right, that defines it. And there were all these
terms that I had no idea what they meant. So I would sit there and my notes would be, I would
write down these terms. And I would vow to myself to research these terms or reach, and I would also
get phone numbers of people in the room. And I would reach out to people and say, Hey, would you
mind taking a minute and explaining what does this mean? And that can be very difficult,
because it's very humbling to acknowledge you don't know something. But it invites people to
serve you in a way so many people that are entrepreneurs, that are solopreneurs, that are
business owners, they love pouring into others, they typically have a heart to serve themselves.
And so when you let them know that you're new, you are hungry to learn. They are usually more
than willing to take a few minutes and help you understand a concept. And I did that for, I mean,
I still do that because I'm still putting myself in rooms where I don't know it all because when
you begin to learn something, I'm sure you realize this Sheila, the more you know, the more you
realize you don't know.
It's all about continuous learning. That's how you stay relevant and continue outside of that
comfort zone. But I agree. And I did join score only to then serve as the actual leader of the
two counties. I was one of the youngest members, but I bonded so much with the mentors. It was so
rewarding to be able to lead them during that year. It was almost like a full time position,
I felt it many times. But I've met some of my new besties and what I loved about them is they were
all, you know, with a similar mission. And it was how can we help others with their business?
With my tech skills, it came in really handy, especially with a lot of the retirees or baby
boomers that needed that side gig either so that they're not ordered, they needed it for extra
income, and they didn't know how to navigate, you know, social media. And I would have never
known, you just think everyone knows how to use, you know, social media.
Our age and older, a lot of us are still figuring it all out.
But when I did this podcast, and I heard myself, and I felt like imposter syndrome was hitting
me all over again. And so I was like, no, I know what I got to do. So I joined Toastmasters.
I did too. Just this past year. Yes, just this past year, I joined Toastmasters.
So we're going to start counting ums and filler words.
I remember the first TikTok live I did. It wasn't ums and filler words, but it was my throat clearing.
It just blew me away. It's so challenging when you first step into these spaces and outside of your
comfort zone to start sharing yourself with, you know, the world. And then you list in, and you
begin to see things that you never realized that you did. And I was like, okay, that has to go. So
it was great. It's always so humbling and a little embarrassing to see those things, but
that's how we grow. One of my mentors used to tell me if you're not embarrassed by the first
time, the way that you did something for the first time, then you didn't step out of your comfort zone
enough. Think about riding a bicycle. When we started learning how to ride a bicycle, when we
were what, four or five years old, we were like, we're going to ride a bicycle. And then we were
what, four or five or 10, however old you were. We were a little wobbly in the beginning, but it
was only through doing it over and over again and skin to knees and sometimes falling down and crying
that we mastered that skill. And so are all these other skills that we're talking about here today.
So I love it. So you joined Score, you joined Toastmasters. I can't wait to explore and learn
more about Score here in middle Tennessee. And I'm inspired to do that because of knowing you.
So this is a beautiful example of how networking expands your awareness. And because I'd heard of
Score before through meeting you, it's brought it back to the forefront of my awareness and
you've served in the community. And so I'm looking at that as maybe a sign that this is the time for
me to explore a little bit more about Score. No rhyming intended. Well, lucky for you. You don't
even have to leave your house. Feel free to visit score.org, put in your zip code and ask for a
mentor. The mentors can work with you via Zoom. Now each chapter is different, but I think they all
work via Zoom or in person a lot of times. Remember there are volunteers. It's a volunteer
organization. So in person may require an appointment. So it's a great resource out there.
I can't wait to learn more. So I hope our listeners take advantage of that as well.
And that, you know, kind of leads us into other examples of community because we've talked about
networking. We've talked about a couple of organizations to join and serve in other
types of community. I've talked about the Real Estate Investor Association. So if you're
interested in real estate investing, finding the Real Estate Investing Association in your area
and join that because you will find other people with similar interests.
So what are some of the other types of community that we want to highlight here, Sheila?
All industries have associations. Even if you want to become a public speaker,
yeah, like the Speakers Association. At the local level, you have the Chambers of Commerce.
I know that there's online groups. We have masterminds, accountability groups. And I'd
love to learn more from you. What do these groups look like?
So I can tell you what my groups look like only really. So I started accountability
prior to COVID, but I decided to do it virtually even before COVID brought us all into this new
virtual world. And the reason I did was because it makes it more accessible for more people.
And frankly, it was easier for me. I didn't have to find a space. All I had to do was schedule a
time and then invite people to show up. So we meet via Zoom twice a month. And I have a simple
Google Sheet where you record your goals and then we break it down into, you could call them
milestones or next steps, minimum next steps. And we meet twice a month. And it's a very
structured meeting. And let me clarify, when I first started the accountability groups,
I was an accountability group member. So I was facilitating the meeting and I was a member.
I soon realized that I didn't get the most benefit out of it as myself and I wasn't offering the most
value as the facilitator. So at this point, I have my own accountability group where I go to get
support and encouragement and challenged. And in my groups, I just facilitate. So if you, Sheila,
were to be a client, you would show up to our meeting and we would each have 10 to, you would
each have 10 to 15 minutes to talk about your highs and your lows since we last met. What are
the things you want to celebrate and what are the challenges that you faced? And then you would talk
about, you would go through each of your milestones and you would report out quickly on, did I
accomplish this? Did I not accomplish this? If not, why not? And what I'm telling you, if you've
never experienced accountability in a supportive environment. Now, sometimes I say that word and
people cringe and they're like, oh, I don't want to be. Using all these words that may scare people
looking for some kind of a structure. Right. So it's very structured. Number one, because I want
to make the best use of the time that we have together. And also depending on the size of the
group, it goes by very quickly. I max my groups out at six people. I won't accept anymore in a
particular group. I start a new group if I have more interest. Men and women are both invited to
be part of the group. I am not a subject matter expert in any other area other than real estate
investing, which is where my accountability group started. But I will work with anybody who has
goals that they're working towards. Now, I am not going to be able to advise you, for example, on
your business and leadership, but I have life experience that the questions I ask you might
support you to head in a direction if you're facing challenges. So that's the accountability
group. Structure, arrive on time, report out, celebrate highs, share your loaves. And that
community that you build is so powerful. Number one, because I only allow people to encourage
each other. So we are there to support each other and moving the needle forward and overcoming
challenges and seeing things that, you know, sometimes when you're a soloprenur, you're
an entrepreneur, you're so close to the problem. You just can't see the opportunities that are
right there in front of you or know the right questions to ask. So it's amazing how community
changes your experience. Some people recommend accountability partners. And more often than not,
I've seen those fail because it's very difficult when one person starts to waver. And sometimes
that happens, you know, maybe there's a death in the family or there's a death in the family,
you know, maybe there's a death in the family or there's an illness and they're unable to
continue showing up or maybe they just aren't comfortable pushing the other person. So I find
those dyads not to be the most effective. Now, if you create that with someone, that's beautiful.
But that's why I decided to create the group and to facilitate that because I build what did that
movie, build it and they will come. I build the space and then invite my clients into it.
And they get to enjoy the benefit of that. And the value it brings to their lives is amazing.
I mean, people make more money being held accountable. So is that kind of clarify a
little bit about- Oh, a lot. Yes. You're giving me a behind the scenes. Thank you, Alice. And now
where my experience lies is in programs, right? That have a beginning and an end. So for example,
I've done the entrepreneurial mindset program and we've done it in 10 weeks. But then once the
program ends, you have that option to just stay on one-on-one coaching. Like I still want you to
keep me coaching or advising, so to speak, but to actually have a group like that is really interesting.
And it's similar to a mastermind. The difference with a mastermind, if I'm not mistaken, is
a mastermind is when you've got different experts and they're coming together so that they share
resources, opinions. For me, I grew my accountability groups into masterminds
because all of us are experts. We might not be a subject matter expert, but I have a client who's
in her seventies and you can imagine the amount of life experience this woman has, right? So a
mastermind invites people in the group to go around and talk about a little bit more in depth
about the challenges they're facing and what kind of support they need. And the people in the
accountability group mastermind get an opportunity to ask them questions, to clarify what the
challenge is and help them to see their blocks and also make recommendations about how to reframe
something. You and I have used that term in our conversations in other episodes. And there might
be a limiting belief that's there that they uncover and someone might have an alternative way of
believing that they can begin to help the client see. It might just be, have you called this bank?
Or are you aware of score being available? So a mastermind is just a collection of minds that
come together because I'm limited by what I know. And if it's just me trying to think through and
solving my problems and challenges, I just don't have access to all the information that could be
available if I partner with others and give them, first of all, a chance to see me a little bit more
vulnerably. So these groups are confidential. You know, people have to make an agreement that
they're not going to share the information that is shared because people talk about vulnerable
things when people are talking about their businesses and they're talking about their P&Ls
and their gross profits and net profits. Sometimes those numbers are very private and they don't want
that information shared. So there's a level of confidentiality and a level of safety.
You would be amazed at the number of times that a challenge that an entrepreneur might be facing
might be showing up in their business, but it might be because they have an ailing parent
that they're having to care for and they're concerned about, right? So there's these other
things that get mentioned sometimes and that they can get support by being in a mastermind.
Just to kind of go over all the different things or the different communities,
you've got masterminds, which you just described. There's accountability groups.
We talked about peer mentorship when we brought in SCORE. We talked about coaching programs in the
sense that they're structured and they normally come with a community, which is a great way to
meet other like-minded people too. And sometimes there's support after that, whether it be group
coaching or individual coaching. And we didn't really talk much about workshops and webinars,
but that's where we met. We clicked, we connected, and it's that easy to start getting out of that
comfort zone, whether virtual or in person. And I encourage people to experiment and explore
the different ways of connecting with community and to expect that you're going to make some
mistakes, right? You're going to join a webinar and you're going to be like, oh, you're going to get
in there. You'll be like, no, this isn't for me. So I think what you said, explore, be curious,
and see what's best for you is right on point. I think the common thread, the suggestion is that
you don't have to do it alone. You can surround yourself with people that are either, and they
don't have to be similar-minded either, because sometimes that other perspective is really going
to give you feedback on how you can improve. So it's not like, oh, you have to all think the same
way. They can challenge you. They can inspire you. They can share resources, and then you can see how
far you can go. Yes, actually, a lot of times it's really good to be around people. As long as we
share a common set of values, there has to be alignment in our values, but it's really through
interacting with people of different beliefs and different experience levels and different levels
of knowledge that we all grow. So those differences are really, really helpful, and it helps us to
grow if it challenges us when they're there. Well, thank you again for your time today,
Allison. Thank you for joining me, and thank you to all of our listeners for tuning in today.
Thank you so much, Sheila. It was great to be here again. I enjoy our conversation.