1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,160 Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where we explore the journeys that lead to success. 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:14,000 I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you 3 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:21,520 insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders, and experts who will share not just their expertise 4 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:27,440 but the milestone moments that have reshaped their journeys and led to significant achievements. 5 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:33,120 So if you're looking for motivation, you're in the right place. Subscribe now and discover the 6 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,160 milestones that mark the path to success. 7 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:45,600 Welcome to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick, 8 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:54,240 your host, and today my guest is Allison Bowen. She is a positive intelligence coach who helps 9 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:59,360 people analog their potential by mastering the mental habits that lead to greater clarity, 10 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:07,360 focus, and success. Welcome to the show, Allison. Hi, Sheila. It's great to be here. Thanks for 11 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:13,600 having me on. Well, thank you so much for joining me on another episode. I was fascinated after the 12 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:19,600 first one that we had had earlier on, and I wanted to re-invite you to talk more about 13 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:27,200 understanding the power of our self-identity and share our stories and then learn about how those 14 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:33,520 sabotagers get in the way. Yep, absolutely. Getting in the way, it's a great way to talk, 15 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:38,960 to frame it. I love that we're continuing the conversation because when it comes to 16 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:46,880 personal development and the power of our brain and our identity and our mindset, I can just, 17 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:54,160 it's my favorite topic. So let's get into it. All right. Well, from my perspective, 18 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:59,120 your identity is a foundation upon which everything else is built, right? Like the house 19 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:06,960 and the household crumble if you don't have a solid foundation. And your self-identity is something 20 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:13,520 that makes you who you are based on your past experiences, including childhood, which comes 21 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:23,120 up in those exams and our beliefs, our values. And I believe that we have the power to change 22 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:28,800 that self-identity and reevaluate it every year to make sure that we're living our best life. 23 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:37,360 We absolutely do, Sheila. I agree with you 100%, 1000%. We can change our self-identity. 24 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:46,800 The first step, and this is a tip for listeners and making those changes, is to begin to recognize 25 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:55,520 and become aware of what is the current identity that I have, because so much of that is automatic. 26 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:03,040 If you've never thought about it before, it just is either something that's been given to you by 27 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:11,600 your family, by a community, by your traits, by your talents. You know, someone who is a talented 28 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:17,840 songwriter and musician, I live outside of Nashville so that I'm surrounded by that community. 29 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:24,320 Is that their true identity? Is that their true essence? Or is that just an aspect of their 30 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:34,560 identity? So deepening our awareness of what our current belief system is about who we are. And 31 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:41,840 that can be affected by also not only our childhood, our experiences, the work that we've chosen to do, 32 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:49,680 but also by the stage of life that we're in. You and I share a stage of life right now where 33 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:57,600 we are both empty nesters. And so we, I don't know about you, but for many, many years, 34 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:04,800 my identity was focused around my family. My role is a stay-at-home wife and stay-at-home mother. 35 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:12,400 I homeschooled our children. I mean, that was my total identity, almost to my own detriment. So I 36 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:16,800 had to, you know, when you start to look, you find beautiful things, but sometimes you think 37 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,640 you also find things that need to be worked on. What about you? 38 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:26,640 I agree. And we have a lot in common. That's why I want to continue having you on the episode. I 39 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:32,320 love sharing insights with others because you never know one of the listeners could get a key takeaway 40 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:38,800 out of our conversation. I think that, yes, you know, when you shift in life, sometimes change is 41 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:44,640 unexpected. Sometimes it's planned. And with it comes that growth, that, you know, self-identity, 42 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:51,840 reevaluate not who I was or who I am, but most importantly, who do I want to become moving 43 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:58,560 forward? And I think that happens in different stages of our life. And I think our self-identity 44 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:03,760 also has to do with the different roles, you know, that we've played because you begin as a daughter, 45 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:11,840 then a student, then a wife. I've been business owner, mentor, mother, and the list can go on. 46 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:19,040 Now I didn't homeschool, but I got out of my comfort zone when I was 36 and I had my three 47 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:28,000 children. We were living overseas and that's when the mobile application came out. We didn't have 48 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:34,720 these cell phones when I was in college or even when I started my second business. Be careful. 49 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:43,440 We're dating ourselves right now. Yes, we both lived in a time where there were not cell phones, 50 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:47,920 believe it or not. And then when they came out, they were like flip-flops, right? They 51 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:53,680 weren't like the intelligent. Big! Like some of them were like these huge things you held up to 52 00:05:53,680 --> 00:06:01,280 your head. So at that time I was running a jewelry company. We had four stores and it was my mother, 53 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:08,160 my grandmother, and I worked with my two mentors. That was probably the most rewarding ten years of 54 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:12,400 my life. But when that little gadget came out and I kept staring at it like, what is it? 55 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:21,040 I ended up reevaluating what am I doing? How are my children going to learn? This is like the future. 56 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:29,520 And then I got like this little voice in my head saying it's ever too late to learn. So I was 36 57 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,440 and I started looking for a way to learn how to code. And I thought I'm going to build one 58 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:39,120 of those apps. But you know what that motivator was? Was the role I was in. That role that I 59 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:46,560 played at that moment as mother first was let me make sure that my children understand this gadget 60 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:52,080 and most importantly how to program it. Because at that moment I had a future vision. I thought even 61 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:57,040 living overseas, these kids need to learn how to do that. What came next wasn't planned, right? It 62 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:01,040 wasn't even part of the vision. But my third company ended up being a mobile application 63 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,240 development company. We did 31 and they all began with educational apps. 64 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:13,520 That's incredible. Of meeting powerful women who have gone out into the world and created something 65 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:19,760 that didn't exist before. That's amazing. But I don't know that that's me today because I don't 66 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:26,080 have a lot of the apps up there. The passion for education stayed. But it was that role at that 67 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:33,360 moment that led me to that opportunity. And reflecting, I'm feeling this way. What can I 68 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:44,480 change? I remember the first time I made a choice like that. And it was back when I was a teen mom. 69 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:54,320 And when my daughter and I were navigating life and I was a single mom working full time, 70 00:07:54,320 --> 00:08:02,720 I had a hunger for more. I wanted success in my life. And to me at the time, I thought success 71 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:10,560 meant getting a degree. So I enrolled in college part-time because part-time meant I qualified for 72 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:19,280 financial aid. So there I was, a full-time single mom, full-time employee, and a part-time college 73 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:24,080 student. Well, as you can imagine, I was not able to be successful at all three of those things at 74 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:32,480 one time. So I saw something had to go. Something had to shift. And because getting a degree was 75 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:39,680 attainable in a shorter amount of time, I decided, and of course, being a mother was 76 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:46,480 my forever assignment, the job had to go. So I actually made the decision. And this is long 77 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:52,640 before welfare reform came along because I don't think it would be possible today. But I quit my 78 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:59,440 job with the intention of going on welfare, leveraging the welfare benefits I could receive 79 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:06,560 as a single young mother so that I could get my college degree. And oh my gosh, that was, 80 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:12,400 it was a very difficult decision because I had a lot of pride in being a full-time employee. 81 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:20,960 And I felt very shameful to go on public assistance, but I had a goal in mind. And I reached that goal. 82 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:26,480 And I got off from welfare eventually. I got off from section A. I got off from food stamps. So, 83 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:32,320 you know, I was able to leverage that opportunity for a short, you know, four years in order to 84 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:39,120 achieve my goal. But that was the first time that I, I myself recognized something has to change here 85 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:44,720 in order for me to, to move forward. And I learned so much through those years. 86 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:51,760 Now as also it was by choice. Sometimes you're faced in that same situation because of external 87 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:57,600 forces in my situation, my company was thriving. I was like in the peak of my life 88 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,000 when something happened out of my control. 89 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,800 How did it affect your business Sheila? 90 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:11,520 Well, the good part of the business was that because it was in technology, 91 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:17,040 it was very remote. Kind of what happened in COVID, right? If you fast forward, COVID was 92 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:24,800 shocking to a lot of people and it was just like, this should be the norm. But that challenge, 93 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:33,200 whenever you're faced with it, whether it's because of choice or chance, there's always that 94 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:38,800 challenge of letting go of those old identities. And it's to give yourself room for 95 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:44,480 growth in that next version of yourself. So I agree with you with that self-awareness, 96 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:49,840 right? Start where you're at, acknowledge what you're going through before you're able to set an 97 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:57,280 intention to move forward. And I'll share just some of the questions that I go through every year. 98 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:02,400 And normally I do it around my birthday. I don't know why around my birthday. I just feel that 99 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:07,600 that's a moment to do like my own personal, I call it my personal self-awareness. 100 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:13,840 My personal, I call it my personal business plan because I've been an entrepreneur so long that 101 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,360 it's got all the sections. Like it's a business plan. This is me. 102 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:22,720 But for you, Sheila, right? Sounds to me like I call it my personal vision and you call it 103 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,360 your personal business plan, but it sounds very similar. 104 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,760 Well, it goes beyond the vision. It's got financials as well. 105 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,920 Oh, mine has financials in it too. 106 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:32,960 Oh, I like that. 107 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:38,640 Because it's like our GPS, right, Sheila? Like if we got in our car and we just started driving, 108 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:43,440 I know at least for me here in Nashville, growing up on a farm in Vermont in a very small 109 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,960 rural community, when I came to Nashville, I didn't know how to get anywhere. 110 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,360 So in order to know where I need to go in order to get to a certain destination, 111 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,000 I have to know where I'm going and my vision. 112 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,480 So that means I have to know the streets to turn onto, whether I take a right or a left. 113 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:06,720 Those are very specific things. And if I don't create the map of where I want to go, 114 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:12,160 I'm going to end up somewhere. It might not be where I would like to be intentionally though. 115 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:17,440 So you do it on your birthday. I love that. That's your birthing your next step. 116 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:23,040 It has something to do with the birthday. And I always ask myself, well, what values 117 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:27,840 are guiding my life today? Because our values change. And once again, it goes into the roles 118 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:32,960 that you're playing. And then how do I want to show up in front of the world? That's my outer, 119 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,960 not my introspection, which according to your report, I didn't do enough. And that's how I was 120 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:43,200 like, Alison, I think that here I do. I really do. Well, I have to say, Sheila, 121 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,960 because you are an entrepreneur, because you're someone who's dedicated to learning and personal 122 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:53,520 development already, when you come into my world, you're already a little more advanced than some 123 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:58,080 people who maybe have never heard of this stuff. So this might be brand new to a listener listening 124 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:04,480 to it right now. So then I also ask, what am I passionate about? What legacy do I want to leave? 125 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:08,720 And that's important because people think, oh, you know, legacy is like my eulogy. No legacy, 126 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:13,040 you're living it today, right? What you're doing today, the actions today is actually the legacy 127 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:18,880 you are building tomorrow. And then lastly, what fear, this is where I come to terms with it, 128 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:24,080 right? What limiting beliefs are holding me back from becoming that version of myself, 129 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:30,560 at least for the next year. So that helps guide me. Those are such great questions. Those are 130 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:35,920 wonderful questions. And what I love about what you just shared, Sheila, is it really speaks to 131 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:41,280 how whatever it is that you're calling your document, whether it's a personal vision or a 132 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:47,840 personal, what did you call it? An expense plan. Next personal business plan, next steps plan. 133 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:55,520 It's a living document. So you don't write it once and not edit it. It is something that you're going 134 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:04,000 to kind of, it's in development, just like we all are. We're all in development. We're all growing. 135 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:12,000 There is no part of existence that doesn't contain an element of growth. So if you look around in 136 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:18,240 nature, you can see the evidence of that. And we are just another part of the whole created 137 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:27,200 universe. So we are growing too and growing with intentionality and with a dream of who our future 138 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:39,760 self is, is so powerful. And in my world now, it's so comforting to know that I can do that and I can 139 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:44,960 surround myself with a tribe of people that will support me in that. So. 140 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:53,920 Well, to wrap today's episode up, let's leave the listeners with one exercise they can do today to 141 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,080 practice self-reflection. What do you recommend? 142 00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:05,840 Oh, what I recommend is to learn about how to develop curiosity just in general and, you know, 143 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:12,800 become curious about your own self-identity and become curious about how what we've talked to, 144 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:20,320 what we've talked about here today might serve you and might help you in your journey of personal 145 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:26,400 development and growth. I love your question, Sheila. I can't talk those questions that she 146 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:32,400 asks herself every day on her birthday. In the positive intelligence world, we call it a 147 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:37,040 childlike perspective because you know how children, it's like when you're on the, well, I'm still like 148 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:42,480 this, to be honest. I'm going to confess. If I'm on a beach, it's hard for me to get, it's hard to 149 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:48,880 get me to look up because I am looking at all the amazing shells and all the sand. And that's the 150 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:57,200 kind of curiosity that we want to have about our own selves. So taking time to do that periodically 151 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:05,440 and then just kind of watch what happens because I will tell you that there are so many thoughts. 152 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:11,360 We think over 8,000 thoughts in a day. It actually might be more. I'll have to get that number. 153 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:18,000 And we just don't recognize all of those thoughts. And so we might actually get some criticism about 154 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:23,600 where we are. We might be like, I'm not where I want to be. You know, we might recognize something. 155 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:31,120 So just be curious and be gentle with yourself in that journey. Well, thank you all for tuning in 156 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:35,520 today to another episode of milestone moments in business and leadership and stay tuned because 157 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:41,840 this conversation doesn't end here with Alicid. No, we're going to continue this. This is wonderful, 158 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:47,840 Sheila. Thank you so much for having me and just keep on being curious people and 159 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:52,960 you'll be amazed at what transpires in your life.