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Welcome to Milestone Moments, the show where we explore the journeys that lead to success.

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I'm Sheila Slick, your host and founder of Five Milestones. In every episode, we will bring you

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insights from the minds of entrepreneurs, leaders, and experts who will share not just their expertise

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but the milestone moments that have reshaped their journeys and led to significant achievements.

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So if you're looking for motivation, you're in the right place. Subscribe now and discover the

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milestones that mark the path to success.

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Welcome to another episode of Milestone Moments in Business and Leadership. I'm Sheila Slick,

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your host, and today my special guest is Teresa Malito-Connors. She's the founder of Dr. MC's

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Self-Care Cabaret, a suite of theater-inspired self-care and professional development services

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for professionals. Dr. MC holds a PhD in educational leadership. In addition to her doctorate and

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published research, she is a licensed K-12 counselor with a master's of education and school

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counseling. She also holds a BA in theater studies. Her true joy is bringing her scholarship,

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her experience, and her zest to audiences of all kinds nationwide. Welcome to the show.

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Hi, Sheila. Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

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I'm excited to have you join us here today. Let's start by asking you how you got to doing

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what you do today.

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Yeah, thanks. So let's see, how did I get started? Well, it's been a little bit of a non-traditional

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path, I think, if folks were listening to the intro. What started out as an undergraduate

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degree in theater has somehow turned into a self-care business.

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And a PhD. So I had dreams of going to New York and doing the theater grind and being a full-time

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performer. And I did that for a little bit, traveling back and forth to New York. But it

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wasn't enough. I always was feeling a pull back to education. So I found myself working, back

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actually at my local high school as a secretary for a program that was running there. And I just,

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I found that the work I was doing was related so much to school counseling. And I loved working

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with kids. My mom's an educator. And so it just kind of, it was very comfortable for me. And I

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thought, let me go get a master's in school counsel. Well, I loved that. And I loved being a

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school counselor. I ended up getting hired at a therapeutic high school here in Massachusetts.

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So I'm now got kind of launched into the special education arena. And then from there, I got

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kind of realized that had kind of run its course at the time. But I was also, it was great

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experience. And I learned so much about working with kids with mental health issues, early onset

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psychosis, eating disorders, real significant depression, anxiety. So I was finding it kind of

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difficult to manage my own mental health and stress in that environment. And I went to my

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director one day and I said to her, you know, express that that this is this is a lot of,

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I'm finding myself like, you know, unable thinking about my students when I'm at home at night,

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like not like being able to separate myself. And she said to me, you need to learn how to not take

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that with you. She didn't offer any additional support or guidance or direction on how to do

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that. She just said I needed to figure that out. So I thought, oh, okay. And that sent me kind of

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on a journey to start studying self care and stress management. And I was in my 20s at this point and

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was really turned to the work of Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Cheryl Richardson, Louise Hay,

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and all those self care experts who have come before me. At this time, though, I thought this

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was like just like a me problem. Like this was just something that I was experiencing and other

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people didn't have this issue. Well, then as I moved through my career, I ended up in a position

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where I was now supporting, it was a statewide or trade association that I worked for. Now I'm

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supporting all the private special education schools here in Massachusetts, as well as listening

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to stories from my mom and my mom's friends about teachers and burnout and stress and the

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workload and how difficult it is. And I'm thinking this is not, we got to fix this. This is not,

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this is not helping. We need to, you know, allow teachers more time and autonomy and take care of

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them. So I had always toyed with the idea of wanting a PhD and that now it kind of seemed like

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the right time. So I went to Lesley University here in Cambridge, Massachusetts and studied

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educational leadership, my main area of scholarship being self care and renewal for leaders and

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teachers. I wanted to study how as a leader in a school, if you practice self care, but also

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promote it for your students and for your staff, as well as your students, like how do you help

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your students? How will that impact student outcomes and what, you know, and school culture

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and climate and retention rates? I mean, we've had a crisis in this country with education

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that was brewing long before COVID. COVID definitely sped things up a little bit, but anyway,

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so as I'm working my way through the doctoral program, I realized, you know, this is information

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that not just educators need, everybody needs this. So I decided to start a little Facebook page

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called Dr. MC's Self Care Cabaret, which brings in my theater experience and my love of theater

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and performing arts, as well as my self care expertise. And that has grown to date. I've done,

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oh gosh, I don't even know, probably close to 300 presentations at different schools and organizations.

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I have an online course, which Sheila is very familiar with and actually helped me build

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the back end of that. An online course for creating trauma sensitive classrooms for students.

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And the work has now expanded to cover other areas in addition to self care, but I always feel like

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self care is the underpinnings of everything because you have to take care of yourself in

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order to be able to care for others. And yeah, it's cliche, the hole you can't pour from an empty

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cup, but it's also very real. So we also have a podcast, I've been published in educational

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text as well as textbooks and lots of stuff. So it's been kind of busy, but I do keep a pulse

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in education. In addition to all of that, I am still a special education administrator in the

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greater Boston area. So I still have a pulse of what it's like really being in a classroom today

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and in a school because it's different post pandemic learning is very challenging.

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So help me just define or clarify some of what that was a lot of self care means, right?

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Yeah. Just like you said, you can't pour from an empty cup. So in general or on average, right?

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What are some of the issues or obstacles that people face that prevents them from

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maintaining or practicing self care? Yeah. So great question. So I'm not here to talk about

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mani-pedis and bubble baths and forced smiles. That's not really self care. What we talk about

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is really the foundation of how you show up in the world, like the things that you do every day

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to manage your mental health, manage your emotional needs. And that really gets deep into

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different areas and they're called the 10 domains of self care. And we really look at like how we

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move our body, how we soothe ourselves, how we rest, how we maintain relationships, what does

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our environments look like, how we practice self compassion and teachers and especially other

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helping professionals and entrepreneurs. Like we just want to kind of take it all on. We think we

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can do everything. And especially I think with educators, because there's children who are

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in the mix and nobody goes into education to, you know, they want to support children and go extra.

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And I've seen so many people that just go like they will give and give and give and give,

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but what happens is then you run the risk of burnout. So that's really common that teachers

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and helping professionals have difficulty filling their cup first. So they're better able to care

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for others. Well, and that happens with entrepreneurs as well, right? Having to wear so

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many different hats. And sometimes even if you delegate certain things, you're still

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responsible or overseeing them. And absolutely, you know, it's hard to set those boundaries where

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you say, okay, time to stop. You don't just clock out, right? Right, right. No, you don't. And you

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don't as an educator or helping professional, you just, it's very difficult to set those

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boundaries. And that's a lot of what I talk about in my work is setting clear boundaries and helping

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people manage stress. And I mean, there was a New York Times article last summer, it really upset

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me. And it talked about folks 35 to 50, male adaptive coping mechanisms on the rise and alcohol

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related deaths in women are like skyrocketed. So that to me means that people aren't, they don't

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know how to cope in healthy ways. They're turning towards unhealthy coping mechanisms. When really

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there's so many other things you can do, but it does take work and intentionality to build that

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foundation of self care so you can stand strong on it and show up as your best self.

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Well, so now you've got your own business, what have been some of the challenges that you have

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faced managing your business? When you start a business, there's, I think, cutting through the

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noise, there's a lot of experts out there, and a lot of people that are just trying to like sell

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you their thing. And there's a lot of temptation, I think, to get like, to buy this person's course

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and take this and it'll, you'll make a gazillion dollars or do this and it's gonna, you know,

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triple your Instagram followers, like all these things. But really, a lot of it is noise, a lot

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of it is just people trying to make money. So as an entrepreneur, you have to be very careful and

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a little guarded, I think, with where you're willing to invest your time and energy because

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you don't have unlimited time and energy and you don't likely have unlimited resources. I mean,

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I certainly don't as an entrepreneur. So I need to be careful and mindful about where I spend my time

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and energy because there's a fine line between something just being a hobby and something

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becoming a business. And I think, you know, and I've worked with mentors and I've done a lot with,

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like I know, Sheila, you've done work with SCORE, which is a phenomenal organization. There's also

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Entrepreneurship for All, E for All, they're nationwide. I've done, like those types of

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organizations will really help you and give you the foundational information that you need. And

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there's others as well. You know, and I had one of my mentors at E for All say to me, you know,

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I was taking every little gig that would come my way, every presentation. Some of them I wasn't

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getting paid very much. Some of them were even volunteering. Of course, this was in the beginning.

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This was great because it helped me, you know, hone my presentation and get my name out there

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and all of that. But it was taking so much time and energy to do that that it was preventing me

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from being able to finally sit down and put together my first course or to get the

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approval that I needed from the state so that I can award professional development points to

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educators who take my course. So it was preventing me from doing some of those other more foundational

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aspects of my business because I was running crazy with the kind of the smaller things.

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And so I think, you know, just realizing that if you want it to be a business, you have to

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treat it like a business. And sometimes that means cutting through the noise and really focusing on

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the goal and asking for help. Well, and I love it because you're an educational consultant or,

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you know, wellness consultant. And sometimes a lot of the experts that end up being entrepreneurs

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didn't take those business courses along the way. So the fact that you looked for that support

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through different organizations, you basically had businessmen take the courses along the way.

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You basically had business mentors to help you answer questions along the way.

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It's great for someone trying to start, you know, or turn their expertise in what business. So I love

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everything you have done. I follow you on all the social media. Thank you. Your course, I,

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of course, not only love it, but love the fact that you're also receiving those points, right?

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So you're not just out there offering the course, but it goes towards these requirements that they

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need to meet. With that in mind, what is your next milestone? So my next milestone, I would love to,

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at some point in the near future, be able to focus all of my energy on Dr. MC, self-care cabarets.

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Right now, as I mentioned, I do still have a full-time position as a school administrator.

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And I think that's amazing. And I think in my business, I should always have a pulse on what

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is actually going on in education. So I think that's a huge downfall of some presenters that

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go into schools, you know, their classroom experience or their school experience might be

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from 20 years ago. Classrooms don't look the same as they did 20 years ago. So if you're standing

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in front of me in a professional development workshop, and you're telling me what things were

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like 20 years ago, that's kind of a turnoff for a lot of the audience to be like, this isn't

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relative. This isn't, you know, recent current research, like your research is current. My

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publications are current. And the experience is current. So having that I love having that

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pulse in a school. So in some capacity, I'd always like to be, you know, maybe part time or something,

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but to be able to be more full time in the Dr. MC self-care cabaret would be my next milestone.

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So for aspiring business leaders, and entrepreneurs, what advice would you offer to help them

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prioritize their self care while trying to achieve, you know, their personal or professional goals?

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Yeah. So you have to remember that you are not a unlimited resource, you yourself. So you have to

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make sure you're taking time for yourself. You have to listen to your body. And what it's telling

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you, I'll share a vulnerable example last fall, I think I was kind of burning myself out. I had

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several gigs last October, just running around different conferences, there's schools plus the

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start of a new school year, plus just life, maintaining a social life and spending time with

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friends and family. And I got really run down and I got really sick. And I couldn't like shake it.

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Well, in that moment, like the business kind of came to a screeching halt. I tried to keep things

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going that I could keep going or that I have other people that do work for me and support me. So I

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was able to keep some things going, but that was really, really scary. And so making sure and

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thinking back on it, I recognize where I had given too much of my energy. So and not I wasn't taking

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care of myself, even as a self care expert. Sometimes we don't take care of ourselves,

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you know, coming back from that, it's been more about prioritizing like, wait, what are the things

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like I haven't restarted my podcast. I have also have a podcast, haven't restarted it. That's okay.

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That can, that wasn't like a priority. The priority was the things that were bringing in money.

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Let's get those back up and running. I had to shift some, some presentations around. I had to

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cancel some, some of them I lost. Some of them I was able to reschedule, but focusing on those

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things and the course, I really wanted to get the course up and running. So we focused there,

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but it really took like kind of taking it all down to the basics and like, okay, what are the most

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important pieces? I wasn't going to be able to just flip everything back on some things were

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going to have to wait. Social media kind of took a little bit of a back burner. I wasn't able to post

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as much as I like or engage with my communities is like, but it's okay. So knowing where the

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priorities are and knowing the things that you, you know, you can ask for help or that you can

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delegate, or they just don't really matter. Like it's okay to let those go because you

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have to keep yourself healthy and functioning and managing your stress. Otherwise you're your

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business. So you have to, you have to prioritize yourself. Yeah. Health comes first. Where can my

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listeners learn more about you, find your course or follow you online? So I have my website,

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drmcselfcare.com and on there you can find a link to my podcast page, presentations, the online

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course. I also host joyful movement dance parties every Tuesday at 4pm Eastern Standard Time, free

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for folks to join. So there's information on there. It's called Dance Break with Dr. MC because

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movement is very important to me and making movement accessible for other folks is also very

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important to me. So that helps with that. And I'm also on social media, most active on Instagram

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and Facebook at Dr. MC self care DR MC self care and on LinkedIn, Theresa Malik, O'Connor's or

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Dr. MC self care cabaret. Love it. Well, thank you so much for your time and joining me today.

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Awesome. Thanks Sheila. And thank you all for joining us on another episode of Milestone Moments

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in Business and Leadership.