WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.620 Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, 00:00:01.639 --> 00:00:04.280 everybody, and welcome to the Never Peak Project 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:07.299 Podcast. I'm your host, Coach Ranger, mindset 00:00:07.299 --> 00:00:09.460 coach, storyteller, and the guy who walked across 00:00:09.460 --> 00:00:11.580 America with nothing but a backpack and a belief 00:00:11.580 --> 00:00:15.740 that we're meant to grow, not plateau. This podcast 00:00:15.740 --> 00:00:17.679 is for purpose -driven achievers who are tired 00:00:17.679 --> 00:00:19.320 of settling, so if you're building something 00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:21.260 meaningful in your business, your relationships, 00:00:21.420 --> 00:00:25.280 or just in yourself, this space is for you. Today, 00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:27.320 we're diving into one of the most subtle but 00:00:27.320 --> 00:00:30.559 dangerous forces that hold us back. It's that 00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:33.539 quiet inner critic that whispers, but that's 00:00:33.539 --> 00:00:36.299 not for people like you. Maybe it says things 00:00:36.299 --> 00:00:39.840 like, you're too old, too late, too average, 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:42.920 you don't have what it takes. I mean, you've 00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:46.479 probably heard it. But here's the thing. That 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:50.659 voice, it might sound like you, but it's not 00:00:50.659 --> 00:00:55.899 you. It's a story, and stories can be rewritten. 00:00:56.640 --> 00:00:59.299 So let's talk about what I call the sabotaging 00:00:59.299 --> 00:01:01.880 voice, where it comes from, how it shows up, 00:01:01.899 --> 00:01:04.819 and how to finally take your power back. Now, 00:01:04.859 --> 00:01:07.680 when I first heard about the idea, the concept 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:09.879 of somebody walking across America and realized 00:01:09.879 --> 00:01:12.500 it might be something I want to do, I wasn't 00:01:12.500 --> 00:01:15.840 met with this extreme panic. I wasn't screaming, 00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:20.319 right? It was this resistance. It didn't shout. 00:01:20.540 --> 00:01:24.560 It shrugged. It said things like, eh, that's 00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:27.280 not really for people like you. Now, I didn't 00:01:27.280 --> 00:01:30.719 have a dramatic breakdown, no spiral. I just 00:01:30.719 --> 00:01:35.659 accepted that inner voice like it was fact. Now, 00:01:35.700 --> 00:01:37.760 it was easy to do because the person that I had 00:01:37.760 --> 00:01:40.659 seen that walked across the country had everything 00:01:40.659 --> 00:01:44.159 that I didn't, all the resources. And that voice 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:47.840 reminded me of it constantly. It whispered things 00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:50.700 to me like, you don't have the money. You'll 00:01:50.700 --> 00:01:53.280 probably quit. You're not that kind of person. 00:01:53.500 --> 00:01:56.859 He just has something that you don't. Don't. 00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:01.760 But here's what made it dangerous. That voice 00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:06.400 sounded reasonable. It wasn't dramatic. It wasn't 00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:10.719 putting on a show. It wore logic like an armor. 00:02:11.719 --> 00:02:15.659 It made me feel like I was wearing a tutu. No, 00:02:15.699 --> 00:02:20.379 not T -U -T -U. I mean T -O -O dash T -O -O. 00:02:20.900 --> 00:02:24.800 I was too broke, too normal, too behind. too 00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:28.520 late, and so many other things. I didn't feel 00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:32.139 like I was quitting, like I was just quietly 00:02:32.139 --> 00:02:34.780 shelving the dream, because that voice convinced 00:02:34.780 --> 00:02:39.219 me it was never mine to begin with. But everything 00:02:39.219 --> 00:02:42.719 started to change once I realized that voice 00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:46.919 may not be correct. I found evidence to the contrary, 00:02:47.180 --> 00:02:51.060 and that was in the form of the stories of two 00:02:51.060 --> 00:02:57.280 other guys. Mark Dudek and Andrew Kivett. They 00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.379 were both two guys that walked across the country 00:02:59.379 --> 00:03:03.860 around 2021 -2022. Now, they weren't ultra marathon 00:03:03.860 --> 00:03:06.379 athletes. They weren't celebrities like Mike 00:03:06.379 --> 00:03:09.139 Posner was, the man that I originally had seen 00:03:09.139 --> 00:03:11.780 that walked across the country. They were just 00:03:11.780 --> 00:03:15.400 normal dudes. Now, up to this point, I had told 00:03:15.400 --> 00:03:18.759 myself that I was too normal to do something 00:03:18.759 --> 00:03:21.680 like this. And then in that moment, when I finally 00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:23.840 saw that Mark and Andrew had walked across, and 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:25.740 I kind of stalked them on social media a little 00:03:25.740 --> 00:03:27.599 bit, I did a little bit of internet sleuthing 00:03:27.599 --> 00:03:30.620 to figure out who they were, and I realized, 00:03:31.020 --> 00:03:38.199 wait a second. If they can do it, why can't I 00:03:38.199 --> 00:03:42.259 do it? Now, that question cracked something open 00:03:42.259 --> 00:03:45.139 in me. That was the moment that I decided to 00:03:45.139 --> 00:03:49.620 start. Not because I silenced the voice. but 00:03:49.620 --> 00:03:52.460 because I was tired of letting it dictate and 00:03:52.460 --> 00:03:57.639 decide my life. And at that moment, I knew that 00:03:57.639 --> 00:04:00.520 I was going to step into the Atlantic Ocean, 00:04:00.699 --> 00:04:05.500 step out of it, and take 5 .5 million more across 00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:08.000 the entire country to get to the Pacific Ocean. 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:12.819 I became the guy that could. I wasn't waiting 00:04:12.819 --> 00:04:16.189 to be ready anymore. I wasn't... looking for 00:04:16.189 --> 00:04:18.370 some kind of story or looking for somebody else 00:04:18.370 --> 00:04:22.269 give me permission, I was doing it. And once 00:04:22.269 --> 00:04:25.110 I started doing it, each step became evidence 00:04:25.110 --> 00:04:29.490 that that voice was wrong. I moved not without 00:04:29.490 --> 00:04:33.310 the voice, but despite the voice. And the more 00:04:33.310 --> 00:04:36.769 I moved, the further I got west, the quieter 00:04:36.769 --> 00:04:40.089 that voice got. Now, here's the truth that I 00:04:40.089 --> 00:04:43.269 want you to walk away with today. That voice 00:04:43.269 --> 00:04:45.129 in your head, the one that tells you that you're 00:04:45.129 --> 00:04:50.670 not good enough, it's not you. It's fear. It's 00:04:50.670 --> 00:04:53.230 protection. It's protection wrapped in fear, 00:04:53.329 --> 00:04:56.930 fear wrapped in protection. It's old wiring dressed 00:04:56.930 --> 00:05:00.629 as your voice. Now, there's a gentleman named 00:05:00.629 --> 00:05:02.910 Michael Singer who wrote a book called The Untethered 00:05:02.910 --> 00:05:06.589 Soul. And in the book, he said, there is a voice 00:05:06.589 --> 00:05:11.509 in your head, but it is not you. You are just 00:05:11.509 --> 00:05:15.790 the one. Who hears it? And when I finally understood 00:05:15.790 --> 00:05:19.910 that, something really clicked for me. I started 00:05:19.910 --> 00:05:22.509 using what I now call the flashlight of awareness. 00:05:23.730 --> 00:05:26.709 Whenever that voice pops up and I feel like I'm 00:05:26.709 --> 00:05:29.250 clouded in darkness and it feels like TV static, 00:05:29.310 --> 00:05:32.850 it gets so loud and so dark that I don't know 00:05:32.850 --> 00:05:35.589 which way is left, right, let alone west, south, 00:05:35.649 --> 00:05:39.949 east, north. It just feels overwhelming. I turn 00:05:39.949 --> 00:05:43.199 away from what I want to do. So when I use the 00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:49.040 flashlight, I ask, what is this really trying 00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:53.100 to protect me from? Is it the truth or is it 00:05:53.100 --> 00:05:57.240 just familiar fear? Because here's what I've 00:05:57.240 --> 00:05:59.800 learned. You don't have to silence the voice 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:04.060 to move. You just have to stop believing it. 00:06:04.939 --> 00:06:07.300 There's an entrepreneur named Alex Hermosi who 00:06:07.300 --> 00:06:10.379 said something that stuck with me. You only need 00:06:10.379 --> 00:06:14.279 three things. to succeed. The guts to start, 00:06:14.399 --> 00:06:17.420 the brain to learn, and the heart to never give 00:06:17.420 --> 00:06:21.259 up. That's it. Those are the only things you 00:06:21.259 --> 00:06:24.600 need. You be willing to start, able to learn, 00:06:24.699 --> 00:06:30.540 and remember to never give up. You already have 00:06:30.540 --> 00:06:35.180 all three. So to really wrap this up, there's 00:06:35.180 --> 00:06:37.939 three main steps that you can take today to start 00:06:37.939 --> 00:06:41.379 quieting that voice. The very first one is to 00:06:41.379 --> 00:06:45.100 name the voice. Literally give it a name, personify 00:06:45.100 --> 00:06:47.980 it, describe what it looks like, what it sounds 00:06:47.980 --> 00:06:51.519 like. Is it a worried parent, a judgmental boss, 00:06:51.839 --> 00:06:54.959 TV static? I've worked with a few clients where 00:06:54.959 --> 00:06:58.180 they have given me a plethora of different examples 00:06:58.180 --> 00:06:59.600 of what that voice looks like, and we'll get 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:02.300 to that in a second. But the idea behind this 00:07:02.300 --> 00:07:05.600 is by externalizing the voice, it helps you realize 00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:09.970 that it is not you. It helps separate it from 00:07:09.970 --> 00:07:14.709 who you actually are. The second step is to challenge 00:07:14.709 --> 00:07:19.850 it. Ask, is what it's saying true? Or is it just 00:07:19.850 --> 00:07:24.029 familiar? What proof is it using? And is that 00:07:24.029 --> 00:07:29.410 proof even real? The third step is to move away. 00:07:30.150 --> 00:07:33.149 Do something, anything really, that contradicts 00:07:33.149 --> 00:07:35.889 the voice. The greatest thing you can do to quiet 00:07:35.889 --> 00:07:39.569 the voice is to move. Send the pitch. Make the 00:07:39.569 --> 00:07:42.350 call. Ask the girl. Speak your truth. You don't 00:07:42.350 --> 00:07:44.889 have to walk across the country. You just have 00:07:44.889 --> 00:07:48.209 to walk into the next moment. Don't focus on 00:07:48.209 --> 00:07:53.490 the end. Focus on what's next. Every single step 00:07:53.490 --> 00:07:56.329 you take is a rebuttal against the voice. And 00:07:56.329 --> 00:08:00.339 every action is a page. and a better story. Now, 00:08:00.420 --> 00:08:02.819 to really put all this into perspective, I'm 00:08:02.819 --> 00:08:05.160 going to tell you two stories of different women 00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:08.939 that I coach. One is a entrepreneur. The other 00:08:08.939 --> 00:08:11.639 is an estate planning attorney. Now, when it 00:08:11.639 --> 00:08:14.879 came to the entrepreneur, one of her goals was 00:08:14.879 --> 00:08:18.500 to start and run her own Etsy shop. She's always 00:08:18.500 --> 00:08:20.959 wanted to do her own thing. She's always worked 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:23.399 for someone else, but this was her opportunity 00:08:23.399 --> 00:08:26.860 to really take a dive into the world of running 00:08:26.860 --> 00:08:29.740 your own business. Just a small creative shop, 00:08:29.939 --> 00:08:33.759 nothing groundbreaking per se, but for her it 00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:36.639 meant everything. Now we worked together for 00:08:36.639 --> 00:08:39.279 about four or five weeks working on the goal 00:08:39.279 --> 00:08:41.220 of the shop. What was we really going to put 00:08:41.220 --> 00:08:44.659 in it? What was the purpose behind it? But when 00:08:44.659 --> 00:08:50.259 it came to hit submit, fear took over. The declaration 00:08:50.259 --> 00:08:52.159 that she'd made to me between week five and six 00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:56.419 was I'm going to start the shop. Week six came 00:08:56.419 --> 00:08:59.659 along. I asked her, how did launch day go? Crickets. 00:09:00.279 --> 00:09:03.220 She hadn't pushed the button yet. She had told 00:09:03.220 --> 00:09:07.320 me that she felt terrified, that it felt like 00:09:07.320 --> 00:09:10.440 every insecurity in her life came up in that 00:09:10.440 --> 00:09:13.240 moment before she hit click on that landing page. 00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:15.740 Now, we dug a little bit deeper, tried to really 00:09:15.740 --> 00:09:18.600 understand what that fear was coming from. And 00:09:18.600 --> 00:09:20.679 I walked through the sabotaging voice practice 00:09:20.679 --> 00:09:23.379 with her. The very first step is to name it, 00:09:23.500 --> 00:09:27.279 identify it, and personify it as something outside 00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:30.559 of yourself. By the end of about the 10 -15 minute 00:09:30.559 --> 00:09:33.500 conversation that we had at that point, we realized 00:09:33.500 --> 00:09:37.590 that that voice for her was the evil mother -in 00:09:37.590 --> 00:09:40.610 -law. It was demanding. It was telling her that 00:09:40.610 --> 00:09:42.429 she would never be good enough no matter what 00:09:42.429 --> 00:09:45.230 she did. It had all of these judgments on her 00:09:45.230 --> 00:09:47.870 that if she didn't get it perfect, if everything 00:09:47.870 --> 00:09:50.789 wasn't up to snuff and up to code, whatever that 00:09:50.789 --> 00:09:53.690 means in an Etsy shop, then there was no point 00:09:53.690 --> 00:09:57.090 in ever starting. Now that was great because 00:09:57.090 --> 00:10:00.149 she was able to pull herself out of that conversation 00:10:00.149 --> 00:10:03.250 and realize that that is not what she wanted 00:10:03.250 --> 00:10:05.230 to listen to, what not what she wanted to be. 00:10:06.159 --> 00:10:10.480 I then asked her, who do you want to be? And 00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:12.539 without skipping a beat, she said, I want to 00:10:12.539 --> 00:10:15.759 be a horse. Now that kind of took me aback a 00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:18.480 little bit because I was expecting a person, 00:10:18.559 --> 00:10:22.759 like a more in line with her sabotaging voice 00:10:22.759 --> 00:10:26.299 creation, another person, another thing, like 00:10:26.299 --> 00:10:28.600 a knight in shining armor or something. But I 00:10:28.600 --> 00:10:31.970 asked her, why a horse? And she said, because 00:10:31.970 --> 00:10:35.389 I want to be strong, I want to be free, and I 00:10:35.389 --> 00:10:39.769 want to just be confident in who I am. And I 00:10:39.769 --> 00:10:42.769 said, great. How are we going to channel the 00:10:42.769 --> 00:10:46.970 horse between this and next week when it comes 00:10:46.970 --> 00:10:50.730 to your Etsy shop? What does the horse version 00:10:50.730 --> 00:10:54.570 of you want to do? She said, it wants to post 00:10:54.570 --> 00:10:57.250 the store, it wants to put three items in the 00:10:57.250 --> 00:10:59.570 shop, and it wants to make a post about it on 00:10:59.570 --> 00:11:02.840 Facebook. I said, how will you remind yourself 00:11:02.840 --> 00:11:06.019 that the horse is there? She said, I have a horse 00:11:06.019 --> 00:11:07.960 figurine in my closet. I'm going to put it on 00:11:07.960 --> 00:11:11.419 my desk. I said, fantastic. We'd love an anchor. 00:11:12.120 --> 00:11:15.980 She did that and come next week. She did the 00:11:15.980 --> 00:11:18.740 work. The horse version of herself showed up. 00:11:18.779 --> 00:11:22.279 She was confident. She was ready. She was strong. 00:11:22.700 --> 00:11:25.019 The three items were up. The posts were on her 00:11:25.019 --> 00:11:28.179 story. And her storefront was officially launched. 00:11:28.519 --> 00:11:30.179 And I thought that that was such a fantastic 00:11:30.179 --> 00:11:34.279 example of being able to step into a new identity 00:11:34.279 --> 00:11:37.379 once you realize that your old identity and voice 00:11:37.379 --> 00:11:40.779 is no longer serving you. Another example with 00:11:40.779 --> 00:11:44.299 the estate planning attorney. She had just began 00:11:44.299 --> 00:11:47.340 her own practice. Her name up on the window, 00:11:47.460 --> 00:11:49.679 up on the suite, got her lease signed, everything 00:11:49.679 --> 00:11:54.100 else. But she still felt like something was wrong. 00:11:54.179 --> 00:11:57.820 She still felt like a fraud. She had over two 00:11:57.820 --> 00:12:00.740 decades of experience in the field. She learned 00:12:00.740 --> 00:12:02.679 from the best, went to one of the top universities, 00:12:02.860 --> 00:12:04.759 graduated damn near near the top of her class. 00:12:05.139 --> 00:12:07.879 But she still felt like no matter what she did, 00:12:08.039 --> 00:12:11.389 it was never going to be good enough. Now, we 00:12:11.389 --> 00:12:15.830 met for a 90 -minute sabotaging voice work session. 00:12:16.429 --> 00:12:19.669 And during that time, we really honed in on why 00:12:19.669 --> 00:12:21.909 she is feeling that way. What inside of her is 00:12:21.909 --> 00:12:23.450 causing her to feel like she's never enough? 00:12:24.169 --> 00:12:25.570 And she said that she thought about it a little 00:12:25.570 --> 00:12:27.330 before the call, looked over the material that 00:12:27.330 --> 00:12:30.549 I sent her, and she just said, it feels like 00:12:30.549 --> 00:12:33.990 if everything isn't perfect, there's no point 00:12:33.990 --> 00:12:40.460 in doing it. And I said, great. Why? We dug a 00:12:40.460 --> 00:12:42.740 little bit deeper and eventually she said, I 00:12:42.740 --> 00:12:48.419 think my sabotaging voice is this like blob -like 00:12:48.419 --> 00:12:55.139 amoeba creature that wears a crown and it's Mr. 00:12:55.700 --> 00:12:59.720 and Mrs. Perfect. And I said, what do you mean 00:12:59.720 --> 00:13:02.580 it's Mr. and Mrs.? Because typically it's one 00:13:02.580 --> 00:13:05.580 thing or one being. And she said, I feel like 00:13:05.580 --> 00:13:08.919 it's this amoeba that... On one side, it's Mr. 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:13.299 Perfect. And he's very logical. He's very focused 00:13:13.299 --> 00:13:15.620 on the numbers. And if everything isn't perfect, 00:13:15.940 --> 00:13:18.700 he doesn't like it. And then if it's something 00:13:18.700 --> 00:13:20.779 a little bit more creative, the wife turns around 00:13:20.779 --> 00:13:23.799 and she's there. And Mrs. Perfect says things 00:13:23.799 --> 00:13:26.720 like, you should be doing more flourish. It should 00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:29.379 look more like this. It should be this. So it 00:13:29.379 --> 00:13:31.980 was really hitting the creative and logical side 00:13:31.980 --> 00:13:35.100 of her brain. And she said that having that as 00:13:35.100 --> 00:13:38.779 the... scapegoat, essentially, like as that being 00:13:38.779 --> 00:13:41.200 that is telling her these things really helped 00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:44.220 her focus in on what was most important. And 00:13:44.220 --> 00:13:46.120 really, the most important thing here is to remember 00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:51.039 that once you name it, and you begin to challenge 00:13:51.039 --> 00:13:53.860 it, you need to move and start doing something 00:13:53.860 --> 00:13:57.779 to the contrary. And what she did was actively 00:13:57.779 --> 00:14:01.700 start making moves on her business, not just 00:14:01.700 --> 00:14:03.039 working in the weeds of it, trying to make sure 00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:05.360 everything was perfect, but doing the work outside 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:09.019 of it to actually learn and grow. So I just want 00:14:09.019 --> 00:14:11.120 to give you those two examples of actual clients 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:13.940 that I've worked with and how they've used sabotaging 00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:19.019 work in their life. So let me ask you this. What's 00:14:19.019 --> 00:14:22.379 one sentence your inner critic keeps repeating? 00:14:23.840 --> 00:14:27.679 Is it, I'm too old? That's not for people like 00:14:27.679 --> 00:14:30.759 me? I'll never be ready. If you had more money, 00:14:30.799 --> 00:14:34.259 you'd be able to do what you want to do. Now, 00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:37.940 I want you to write it down, cross it out, and 00:14:37.940 --> 00:14:41.340 write the truth next to it, the real truth, not 00:14:41.340 --> 00:14:44.460 the comfortable lies. And if you want to talk 00:14:44.460 --> 00:14:46.820 through it with someone who's been there, I got 00:14:46.820 --> 00:14:49.600 you. Let's hop on a free 15 -minute call, no 00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:52.460 pitch, no pressure, just a conversation about 00:14:52.460 --> 00:14:54.960 what your next step could look like and how I 00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:58.539 can help walk through it with you. That link 00:14:58.539 --> 00:15:01.019 is going to be in the show notes. And until next 00:15:01.019 --> 00:15:04.899 time, remember that the best is yet to come as 00:15:04.899 --> 00:15:07.360 long as you make the decision every single day 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:11.440 to never settle, never quit, and never peak. 00:15:11.980 --> 00:15:13.679 I'll see you all in the next one.