WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.520 Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, 00:00:01.560 --> 00:00:03.980 everybody, and welcome back to the Never Peak 00:00:03.980 --> 00:00:06.580 Project Podcast. I'm your host, Coach Ranger, 00:00:06.780 --> 00:00:10.000 and in today's audio -exclusive episode, we're 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:12.580 going to be talking about something we all see 00:00:12.580 --> 00:00:16.320 almost every day, but maybe haven't really thought 00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:21.100 about deeper. The phrase, objects in mirror are 00:00:21.100 --> 00:00:23.820 closer than they appear. Now, that phrase is 00:00:23.820 --> 00:00:27.320 not about cars, at least not in the way that 00:00:27.320 --> 00:00:29.839 we're talking about it today. The way we're talking 00:00:29.839 --> 00:00:32.399 about it today is it's really about life. It's 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:34.960 about the pain, the stories, the beliefs we think 00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:37.840 we may have moved on from, but are still sitting 00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:40.740 right behind us, ready to take hold of the steering 00:00:40.740 --> 00:00:42.700 wheel and move us in a direction we don't want 00:00:42.700 --> 00:00:46.719 to go if we're not paying attention. Now, last 00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:49.159 year when I walked across the country, I had 00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:53.200 a ton of time to think. More time than most people 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:56.380 probably get in their entire lives. Now, some 00:00:56.380 --> 00:00:58.700 of those thoughts that came up weren't new ones. 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:03.140 A lot of them were old. Old stories, old shame, 00:01:03.420 --> 00:01:06.560 old wounds that I thought I'd taken care of. 00:01:06.879 --> 00:01:09.299 But I hadn't really taken care of them. They 00:01:09.299 --> 00:01:12.959 were just buried. So in today's episode, I want 00:01:12.959 --> 00:01:15.000 to talk about the difference between physically 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:18.780 moving past something and mentally and emotionally. 00:01:19.390 --> 00:01:22.209 moving past something. Just because you're physically 00:01:22.209 --> 00:01:24.790 not in an area or a space anymore doesn't mean 00:01:24.790 --> 00:01:27.370 that mentally you're not still there. So I'll 00:01:27.370 --> 00:01:29.810 share a couple stories from my walk and the unexpected 00:01:29.810 --> 00:01:32.989 reminders that I met along the way and some of 00:01:32.989 --> 00:01:35.010 the tools and methods that helped me finally 00:01:35.010 --> 00:01:39.030 begin to let go and leave the past in the rearview 00:01:39.030 --> 00:01:41.409 mirror where it needs to be. So if you ever felt 00:01:41.409 --> 00:01:43.129 like something from your past might still be 00:01:43.129 --> 00:01:45.989 steering your future, this episode is for you. 00:01:46.049 --> 00:01:49.680 Back in college, I had one major dream. I wanted 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:52.680 to be a veterinarian, whether it was feline medicine, 00:01:52.980 --> 00:01:55.560 equine, large animal, etc. It didn't really matter. 00:01:55.680 --> 00:01:58.379 I just wanted to help animals. I wanted to be 00:01:58.379 --> 00:02:01.480 a voice for the voiceless. I studied hard all 00:02:01.480 --> 00:02:04.140 through high school, graduated second in my class, 00:02:04.379 --> 00:02:06.739 did all the extracurriculars, all the extra things 00:02:06.739 --> 00:02:09.780 to set me apart. Eventually, I got into UC Davis. 00:02:09.919 --> 00:02:11.979 I started in animal science, which is one of 00:02:11.979 --> 00:02:16.000 the hardest majors to get into at UC Davis. And 00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:18.120 I felt like I was on top of the world. I was 00:02:18.120 --> 00:02:22.379 all set. until I wasn't. I had a very difficult 00:02:22.379 --> 00:02:25.539 time in college. I struggled extremely hard. 00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:30.120 I nearly failed out. After just a year of breakdowns 00:02:30.120 --> 00:02:33.900 and failed assignments, I eventually switched 00:02:33.900 --> 00:02:37.639 to agricultural economics. The joke I like to 00:02:37.639 --> 00:02:40.319 tell is animal science ended up being a lot more 00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:43.819 science than animal, and I realized if I was 00:02:43.819 --> 00:02:45.759 going to put myself through 10 more years of 00:02:45.759 --> 00:02:48.580 schooling, I didn't think that I would actually 00:02:48.580 --> 00:02:51.120 make it out the other end. So I might as well 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:53.560 switch to something else now that I'm also passionate 00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:57.400 about, which is agriculture business. But even 00:02:57.400 --> 00:02:59.500 though I graduated from school almost six years 00:02:59.500 --> 00:03:05.659 ago, on paper, I moved on. I got my degree, built 00:03:05.659 --> 00:03:07.860 a new path eventually, even through COVID and 00:03:07.860 --> 00:03:09.819 all the wild things I got thrown through there. 00:03:10.460 --> 00:03:14.060 And I even did a ton of coaching to work through 00:03:14.060 --> 00:03:17.879 the pain of that shift. But when I was on the 00:03:17.879 --> 00:03:21.800 walk, that wound opened up again. That story 00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:25.139 of if I failed at that, maybe I am a failure 00:03:25.139 --> 00:03:27.560 period came back. And that's the funny thing, 00:03:27.599 --> 00:03:30.979 right? Is healing and getting past these things. 00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:36.060 It's not linear. Time doesn't always equal closure. 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:37.879 I'm sure we've all heard the thing where things 00:03:37.879 --> 00:03:40.120 just take time. I think that is a big piece of 00:03:40.120 --> 00:03:42.060 it, but I think that there's a lot more to it. 00:03:42.139 --> 00:03:44.520 It's not just wait and things will be better. 00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:48.740 It's. Put in the time and the effort and things 00:03:48.740 --> 00:03:51.979 will be better. So as like a quick reflection 00:03:51.979 --> 00:03:54.780 prompt for you listening, think about something 00:03:54.780 --> 00:03:57.500 that's in your past that you may have moved past, 00:03:57.639 --> 00:04:03.659 but you're not fully healed from. Now, this idea 00:04:03.659 --> 00:04:06.800 of thinking I was past something, but maybe not 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:09.159 being fully healed from it really came to a head 00:04:09.159 --> 00:04:12.300 in Arizona. I was near the end of my walk. Like 00:04:12.300 --> 00:04:14.759 I mentioned before, I walked east to west. So 00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:16.860 Arizona was the second to last state I needed 00:04:16.860 --> 00:04:20.040 to get across. And while I was there, I ended 00:04:20.040 --> 00:04:22.560 up staying with two different vet techs in different 00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:25.579 cities that I was going through. Now, they were 00:04:25.579 --> 00:04:27.439 fantastic people. I had them on the podcast. 00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:30.860 And they were a joy to hang out with and be with. 00:04:31.470 --> 00:04:34.589 But being there kind of brought back those stories 00:04:34.589 --> 00:04:37.569 I was telling myself. What could have been? You 00:04:37.569 --> 00:04:39.529 know, I could have been the one in scrubs. I 00:04:39.529 --> 00:04:41.569 could have been the one saving lives, administering 00:04:41.569 --> 00:04:44.029 medicine, working with animals all day, helping 00:04:44.029 --> 00:04:46.790 them out, and being that voice for the voiceless. 00:04:48.050 --> 00:04:52.329 Again, that feeling of regret and that story 00:04:52.329 --> 00:04:55.569 was slipping back in. And I was able to kind 00:04:55.569 --> 00:04:57.430 of pull myself back out of that and remind myself, 00:04:57.569 --> 00:05:00.230 you know, like, this isn't the story that I want 00:05:00.230 --> 00:05:03.459 to tell. This isn't the pain that I want to feel. 00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:06.019 That was something I need to keep reminding myself 00:05:06.019 --> 00:05:08.860 of. A few months ago, or maybe about a month, 00:05:08.980 --> 00:05:12.459 I had a guest on the Never Peak Project named 00:05:12.459 --> 00:05:15.620 Mike Emholtz over from Black Diamond Consultancy. 00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:19.240 And during one of the things he said, this isn't 00:05:19.240 --> 00:05:22.720 the exact quote, but this is the idea. He was 00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:26.139 talking about him raising money for the Heart 00:05:26.139 --> 00:05:28.660 Association. And he said something along the 00:05:28.660 --> 00:05:32.240 lines of, I can't perform heart surgery. I don't 00:05:32.240 --> 00:05:36.139 know how to create the tools and the practices 00:05:36.139 --> 00:05:38.879 that are going to get the heart from one person 00:05:38.879 --> 00:05:42.899 into another or save it all to begin with. But 00:05:42.899 --> 00:05:45.199 I can raise the money to make sure that the people 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:48.939 who do know how to do that aren't limited. That 00:05:48.939 --> 00:05:52.560 really hit me because it's that reminder that... 00:05:53.050 --> 00:05:56.410 While I might not be saving animals or doing 00:05:56.410 --> 00:05:59.889 the surgeries or advising owners on how to best 00:05:59.889 --> 00:06:02.730 care for their animals, I am still doing my part. 00:06:03.050 --> 00:06:05.250 I'm helping the people who help other people. 00:06:05.290 --> 00:06:08.250 I'm helping leaders, coaches, business owners, 00:06:08.449 --> 00:06:10.850 nonprofit leaders, just mission -driven humans 00:06:10.850 --> 00:06:13.009 do the thing that they were put on this earth 00:06:13.009 --> 00:06:15.639 to do. I think that that is something that we 00:06:15.639 --> 00:06:18.199 can all remember is to really just work in our 00:06:18.199 --> 00:06:20.339 strengths, really hone in on the things that 00:06:20.339 --> 00:06:22.600 we love to do, the things that we are passionate 00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:24.360 about, that we want to see more of in the world, 00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:27.720 because then and only then will that world come 00:06:27.720 --> 00:06:30.120 to fruition. But there's a lesson tied up in 00:06:30.120 --> 00:06:33.240 this is that there's more than one way to serve. 00:06:33.740 --> 00:06:36.879 Just because you aren't playing the role in your 00:06:36.879 --> 00:06:38.959 mission that you thought you would doesn't mean 00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:41.319 that you can't still play that role that you've 00:06:41.319 --> 00:06:44.500 been handed well. your path is still purposeful 00:06:44.500 --> 00:06:48.480 even if you've ended up on plan Q instead of 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:53.199 plan A. Another thing I learned is there's a 00:06:53.199 --> 00:06:56.579 difference between background pain and foreground 00:06:56.579 --> 00:06:59.600 pain. Now, pain that stays in the background 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:03.720 doesn't just disappear. It does get sneakier 00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:06.439 though. So if you're always looking in that rearview 00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:09.060 mirror trying to track the past and avoid repeating 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:12.300 it, You're not looking at what's right in front 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:14.699 of you. You're going to miss opportunities that 00:07:14.699 --> 00:07:16.519 are right in the purview of that bigger windshield. 00:07:17.220 --> 00:07:19.519 There's a saying that there's a reason the windshield 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:22.180 is bigger than the rearview mirror. It's because 00:07:22.180 --> 00:07:24.079 you should be focused on where you're going, 00:07:24.199 --> 00:07:27.980 not necessarily where you've been. Because that 00:07:27.980 --> 00:07:30.699 pain of constantly looking in the back mirror, 00:07:30.860 --> 00:07:33.819 looking in the rearview mirror, trying to see 00:07:33.819 --> 00:07:36.399 something that isn't there anymore, can really 00:07:36.399 --> 00:07:39.060 just cause things in your life like perfectionism. 00:07:39.719 --> 00:07:42.660 overworking, avoiding hard conversations, or 00:07:42.660 --> 00:07:45.300 saying no to opportunities because you're afraid 00:07:45.300 --> 00:07:50.040 of it. If you're constantly looking in the rearview 00:07:50.040 --> 00:07:52.319 mirror for that pain, think that eventually that 00:07:52.319 --> 00:07:54.379 pain is the thing that's going to start driving 00:07:54.379 --> 00:07:56.420 you forward. Have you ever heard the thing where 00:07:56.420 --> 00:08:00.000 it's like, where your eyes go, you go when you're 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:03.100 driving? That is kind of what I'm getting at 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:05.379 with this. If you're focused on that negative 00:08:05.379 --> 00:08:07.660 thing, you're going to drive yourself into even 00:08:07.660 --> 00:08:10.519 more of it down the road. So something that I 00:08:10.519 --> 00:08:13.660 found useful other than coaching through it is 00:08:13.660 --> 00:08:20.079 to journal it. Because when it comes to these 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:24.199 past things, there's two things going on. There 00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:27.779 is the situation that actually happened. I almost 00:08:27.779 --> 00:08:30.060 filled out a UC Davis and I had to switch majors. 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:34.120 That is what happened. That is the situation. 00:08:36.039 --> 00:08:38.659 The painful part that's still sticking with me 00:08:38.659 --> 00:08:41.460 now is the story that I've told myself about 00:08:41.460 --> 00:08:44.940 it. So I think that by journaling and picking 00:08:44.940 --> 00:08:47.899 apart the situation that happened and the story 00:08:47.899 --> 00:08:49.659 that I'm telling myself about what happened and 00:08:49.659 --> 00:08:51.919 what that means about me has helped me really 00:08:51.919 --> 00:08:54.779 see the situation that happened is very small. 00:08:54.980 --> 00:08:58.059 The story is the big thing, but I'm the only 00:08:58.059 --> 00:09:01.059 one that can get rid of that story and write 00:09:01.059 --> 00:09:04.340 something else. I can change the perspective 00:09:04.340 --> 00:09:06.860 that I have on it. I can change the lessons. 00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:09.580 I can change what it means to me. And so can 00:09:09.580 --> 00:09:16.460 you. Now, there is a difference between ignoring 00:09:16.460 --> 00:09:19.080 pain and sitting with it. I'm not suggesting 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:21.940 that we sit here and we dwell on the pain of 00:09:21.940 --> 00:09:24.460 the past, that we let it continue to hurt us. 00:09:24.679 --> 00:09:29.080 I think that there's an aspect of If you're constantly 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:31.759 looking in the rearview mirror to make sure this 00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:34.779 pain doesn't show up anymore, maybe you should 00:09:34.779 --> 00:09:39.259 stop for a second and let it ride shotgun. Let 00:09:39.259 --> 00:09:42.200 it really sit with you. Really sit with it. Understand 00:09:42.200 --> 00:09:45.799 what is going on with it. Because when you invite 00:09:45.799 --> 00:09:47.740 it into the front seat and you acknowledge it, 00:09:47.820 --> 00:09:50.279 you let it be seen. It's not this big secret 00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:52.259 anymore. It's not this thing that you have to 00:09:52.259 --> 00:09:56.559 feel like you're hiding. Be careful to not let 00:09:56.559 --> 00:09:58.840 it take the wheel and jump over and crawl into 00:09:58.840 --> 00:10:01.559 the backseat or become a driver or anything. 00:10:01.960 --> 00:10:05.100 But the idea is there's a lesson in everything 00:10:05.100 --> 00:10:07.740 that we go through. So if you take this story 00:10:07.740 --> 00:10:09.480 that you're telling yourself, let it sit there, 00:10:09.639 --> 00:10:13.299 acknowledge it, honor it, appreciate the lesson, 00:10:13.539 --> 00:10:17.000 and then let it go at the next exit and really 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:21.059 leave it there. So whether it's journaling, talking 00:10:21.059 --> 00:10:24.279 with a friend, getting coaching on it, or literally 00:10:24.279 --> 00:10:29.259 walking with it, find a way to release that story. 00:10:32.110 --> 00:10:34.929 And here are a few ways that you may be able 00:10:34.929 --> 00:10:37.610 to identify if the past is still in control. 00:10:37.909 --> 00:10:39.549 And there's things that you thought you've healed 00:10:39.549 --> 00:10:41.750 from or walked away from that are really secretly 00:10:41.750 --> 00:10:44.129 still with you. Here are some things that I've 00:10:44.129 --> 00:10:46.850 noticed for myself and in my coaching clients 00:10:46.850 --> 00:10:49.110 as well that if you start to see these things 00:10:49.110 --> 00:10:51.710 pop up for you, it might be time for you to stop 00:10:51.710 --> 00:10:53.769 the car and really evaluate what's going on. 00:10:54.309 --> 00:10:58.929 So a few of the signs are you overreact to seemingly 00:10:58.929 --> 00:11:03.590 small things. You avoid certain topics or people, 00:11:03.769 --> 00:11:07.169 or you keep hitting the same wall over and over 00:11:07.169 --> 00:11:09.830 and over again in relationships or business. 00:11:10.110 --> 00:11:12.309 There's an idea there that it's, you know, you 00:11:12.309 --> 00:11:14.509 are the common denominator. If you keep finding 00:11:14.509 --> 00:11:17.509 yourself in the same situation or the same problem 00:11:17.509 --> 00:11:20.250 keeps popping up for you, maybe it's time to 00:11:20.250 --> 00:11:22.389 evaluate yourself and really look in the mirror 00:11:22.389 --> 00:11:24.870 and see what's going on. Now, personally, for 00:11:24.870 --> 00:11:27.610 me, the biggest tool that's helped me is getting 00:11:27.610 --> 00:11:30.039 a coach. Coaching helped me bring these blind 00:11:30.039 --> 00:11:33.019 spots to the surface. And that is why I decided 00:11:33.019 --> 00:11:35.460 to jump into the world of coaching myself is 00:11:35.460 --> 00:11:37.720 because I loved the transformation that I went 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:40.559 through with my coach. I love being that resource 00:11:40.559 --> 00:11:43.279 and that person for others as well. When it comes 00:11:43.279 --> 00:11:45.179 to coaching, the great thing about them is they 00:11:45.179 --> 00:11:47.230 are the mirror. They are the one that is able 00:11:47.230 --> 00:11:50.129 to see these blind spots that you have. Just 00:11:50.129 --> 00:11:51.769 like when we're driving, we have blind spots. 00:11:52.490 --> 00:11:55.110 They're the little side cameras on the fancy 00:11:55.110 --> 00:11:57.529 cars now that can see everything that's going 00:11:57.529 --> 00:12:00.350 on and let you know what you are saying and reflect 00:12:00.350 --> 00:12:02.889 it back to you. So if you think, well, I've already 00:12:02.889 --> 00:12:04.509 dealt with it. I don't really need more help. 00:12:05.490 --> 00:12:11.490 You might have. Maybe, but maybe not. Support 00:12:11.490 --> 00:12:15.470 doesn't always mean weakness. Support might be. 00:12:15.850 --> 00:12:18.450 wisdom. It might be that opportunity to make 00:12:18.450 --> 00:12:21.490 yourself better, a better partner, a better person, 00:12:21.629 --> 00:12:25.990 a better entity walking around this earth. If 00:12:25.990 --> 00:12:27.370 there was one more thing that I could really 00:12:27.370 --> 00:12:30.789 add to this to tie it all together is that you 00:12:30.789 --> 00:12:34.350 are allowed to rewrite the story. You're allowed 00:12:34.350 --> 00:12:37.990 to feel it without judgment, without extra BS 00:12:37.990 --> 00:12:40.330 that you're telling yourself, and you're allowed 00:12:40.330 --> 00:12:43.139 to move forward. with grace. Really what I want 00:12:43.139 --> 00:12:45.139 you to do is just take a moment to think about 00:12:45.139 --> 00:12:48.080 what might still be in your mirror. What still 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:50.820 feels close? In closing, I want you to just take 00:12:50.820 --> 00:12:53.799 a moment and think about things that might still 00:12:53.799 --> 00:12:57.039 be in your mirror. What still feels close even 00:12:57.039 --> 00:12:59.779 though it should be behind you? If you're ready 00:12:59.779 --> 00:13:02.580 to release it or even just acknowledge it, coaching 00:13:02.580 --> 00:13:05.340 might be your next step. If you'd like to give 00:13:05.340 --> 00:13:07.240 it a try, I'd love to support you. You can go 00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:09.259 ahead and book a complimentary discovery session 00:13:09.259 --> 00:13:11.779 in the link in my bio, or we'll hop on a 30 minute 00:13:11.779 --> 00:13:13.980 call and I will help you release what's going 00:13:13.980 --> 00:13:16.379 on. Just kind of give you the coach's perspective 00:13:16.379 --> 00:13:19.299 of those blind spots that you might have in your 00:13:19.299 --> 00:13:21.320 life. If this episode spoke to you or you learned 00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:23.480 something from it, or you just felt that it was 00:13:23.480 --> 00:13:26.580 impactful, please share it. The more people that 00:13:26.580 --> 00:13:28.659 we get listening to this podcast, the more can 00:13:28.659 --> 00:13:32.029 get out and help more people. help more people. 00:13:32.090 --> 00:13:33.649 As always, thank you so much for listening your 00:13:33.649 --> 00:13:35.190 time and attention to me in the world to me. 00:13:35.509 --> 00:13:38.490 Remember, the best is yet to come. As long as 00:13:38.490 --> 00:13:40.750 you are willing to make the decision every single 00:13:40.750 --> 00:13:44.450 day to never settle, never quit, and never peak. 00:13:44.889 --> 00:13:46.309 I'll see you guys in the next one.