Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening,
everybody, and welcome back to the Never Peak
Project Podcast. I'm your host, Coach Ranger,
and in today's audio -exclusive episode, we're
going to be talking about something we all see
almost every day, but maybe haven't really thought
about deeper. The phrase, objects in mirror are
closer than they appear. Now, that phrase is
not about cars, at least not in the way that
we're talking about it today. The way we're talking
about it today is it's really about life. It's
about the pain, the stories, the beliefs we think
we may have moved on from, but are still sitting
right behind us, ready to take hold of the steering
wheel and move us in a direction we don't want
to go if we're not paying attention. Now, last
year when I walked across the country, I had
a ton of time to think. More time than most people
probably get in their entire lives. Now, some
of those thoughts that came up weren't new ones.
A lot of them were old. Old stories, old shame,
old wounds that I thought I'd taken care of.
But I hadn't really taken care of them. They
were just buried. So in today's episode, I want
to talk about the difference between physically
moving past something and mentally and emotionally.
moving past something. Just because you're physically
not in an area or a space anymore doesn't mean
that mentally you're not still there. So I'll
share a couple stories from my walk and the unexpected
reminders that I met along the way and some of
the tools and methods that helped me finally
begin to let go and leave the past in the rearview
mirror where it needs to be. So if you ever felt
like something from your past might still be
steering your future, this episode is for you.
Back in college, I had one major dream. I wanted
to be a veterinarian, whether it was feline medicine,
equine, large animal, etc. It didn't really matter.
I just wanted to help animals. I wanted to be
a voice for the voiceless. I studied hard all
through high school, graduated second in my class,
did all the extracurriculars, all the extra things
to set me apart. Eventually, I got into UC Davis.
I started in animal science, which is one of
the hardest majors to get into at UC Davis. And
I felt like I was on top of the world. I was
all set. until I wasn't. I had a very difficult
time in college. I struggled extremely hard.
I nearly failed out. After just a year of breakdowns
and failed assignments, I eventually switched
to agricultural economics. The joke I like to
tell is animal science ended up being a lot more
science than animal, and I realized if I was
going to put myself through 10 more years of
schooling, I didn't think that I would actually
make it out the other end. So I might as well
switch to something else now that I'm also passionate
about, which is agriculture business. But even
though I graduated from school almost six years
ago, on paper, I moved on. I got my degree, built
a new path eventually, even through COVID and
all the wild things I got thrown through there.
And I even did a ton of coaching to work through
the pain of that shift. But when I was on the
walk, that wound opened up again. That story
of if I failed at that, maybe I am a failure
period came back. And that's the funny thing,
right? Is healing and getting past these things.
It's not linear. Time doesn't always equal closure.
I'm sure we've all heard the thing where things
just take time. I think that is a big piece of
it, but I think that there's a lot more to it.
It's not just wait and things will be better.
It's. Put in the time and the effort and things
will be better. So as like a quick reflection
prompt for you listening, think about something
that's in your past that you may have moved past,
but you're not fully healed from. Now, this idea
of thinking I was past something, but maybe not
being fully healed from it really came to a head
in Arizona. I was near the end of my walk. Like
I mentioned before, I walked east to west. So
Arizona was the second to last state I needed
to get across. And while I was there, I ended
up staying with two different vet techs in different
cities that I was going through. Now, they were
fantastic people. I had them on the podcast.
And they were a joy to hang out with and be with.
But being there kind of brought back those stories
I was telling myself. What could have been? You
know, I could have been the one in scrubs. I
could have been the one saving lives, administering
medicine, working with animals all day, helping
them out, and being that voice for the voiceless.
Again, that feeling of regret and that story
was slipping back in. And I was able to kind
of pull myself back out of that and remind myself,
you know, like, this isn't the story that I want
to tell. This isn't the pain that I want to feel.
That was something I need to keep reminding myself
of. A few months ago, or maybe about a month,
I had a guest on the Never Peak Project named
Mike Emholtz over from Black Diamond Consultancy.
And during one of the things he said, this isn't
the exact quote, but this is the idea. He was
talking about him raising money for the Heart
Association. And he said something along the
lines of, I can't perform heart surgery. I don't
know how to create the tools and the practices
that are going to get the heart from one person
into another or save it all to begin with. But
I can raise the money to make sure that the people
who do know how to do that aren't limited. That
really hit me because it's that reminder that...
While I might not be saving animals or doing
the surgeries or advising owners on how to best
care for their animals, I am still doing my part.
I'm helping the people who help other people.
I'm helping leaders, coaches, business owners,
nonprofit leaders, just mission -driven humans
do the thing that they were put on this earth
to do. I think that that is something that we
can all remember is to really just work in our
strengths, really hone in on the things that
we love to do, the things that we are passionate
about, that we want to see more of in the world,
because then and only then will that world come
to fruition. But there's a lesson tied up in
this is that there's more than one way to serve.
Just because you aren't playing the role in your
mission that you thought you would doesn't mean
that you can't still play that role that you've
been handed well. your path is still purposeful
even if you've ended up on plan Q instead of
plan A. Another thing I learned is there's a
difference between background pain and foreground
pain. Now, pain that stays in the background
doesn't just disappear. It does get sneakier
though. So if you're always looking in that rearview
mirror trying to track the past and avoid repeating
it, You're not looking at what's right in front
of you. You're going to miss opportunities that
are right in the purview of that bigger windshield.
There's a saying that there's a reason the windshield
is bigger than the rearview mirror. It's because
you should be focused on where you're going,
not necessarily where you've been. Because that
pain of constantly looking in the back mirror,
looking in the rearview mirror, trying to see
something that isn't there anymore, can really
just cause things in your life like perfectionism.
overworking, avoiding hard conversations, or
saying no to opportunities because you're afraid
of it. If you're constantly looking in the rearview
mirror for that pain, think that eventually that
pain is the thing that's going to start driving
you forward. Have you ever heard the thing where
it's like, where your eyes go, you go when you're
driving? That is kind of what I'm getting at
with this. If you're focused on that negative
thing, you're going to drive yourself into even
more of it down the road. So something that I
found useful other than coaching through it is
to journal it. Because when it comes to these
past things, there's two things going on. There
is the situation that actually happened. I almost
filled out a UC Davis and I had to switch majors.
That is what happened. That is the situation.
The painful part that's still sticking with me
now is the story that I've told myself about
it. So I think that by journaling and picking
apart the situation that happened and the story
that I'm telling myself about what happened and
what that means about me has helped me really
see the situation that happened is very small.
The story is the big thing, but I'm the only
one that can get rid of that story and write
something else. I can change the perspective
that I have on it. I can change the lessons.
I can change what it means to me. And so can
you. Now, there is a difference between ignoring
pain and sitting with it. I'm not suggesting
that we sit here and we dwell on the pain of
the past, that we let it continue to hurt us.
I think that there's an aspect of If you're constantly
looking in the rearview mirror to make sure this
pain doesn't show up anymore, maybe you should
stop for a second and let it ride shotgun. Let
it really sit with you. Really sit with it. Understand
what is going on with it. Because when you invite
it into the front seat and you acknowledge it,
you let it be seen. It's not this big secret
anymore. It's not this thing that you have to
feel like you're hiding. Be careful to not let
it take the wheel and jump over and crawl into
the backseat or become a driver or anything.
But the idea is there's a lesson in everything
that we go through. So if you take this story
that you're telling yourself, let it sit there,
acknowledge it, honor it, appreciate the lesson,
and then let it go at the next exit and really
leave it there. So whether it's journaling, talking
with a friend, getting coaching on it, or literally
walking with it, find a way to release that story.
And here are a few ways that you may be able
to identify if the past is still in control.
And there's things that you thought you've healed
from or walked away from that are really secretly
still with you. Here are some things that I've
noticed for myself and in my coaching clients
as well that if you start to see these things
pop up for you, it might be time for you to stop
the car and really evaluate what's going on.
So a few of the signs are you overreact to seemingly
small things. You avoid certain topics or people,
or you keep hitting the same wall over and over
and over again in relationships or business.
There's an idea there that it's, you know, you
are the common denominator. If you keep finding
yourself in the same situation or the same problem
keeps popping up for you, maybe it's time to
evaluate yourself and really look in the mirror
and see what's going on. Now, personally, for
me, the biggest tool that's helped me is getting
a coach. Coaching helped me bring these blind
spots to the surface. And that is why I decided
to jump into the world of coaching myself is
because I loved the transformation that I went
through with my coach. I love being that resource
and that person for others as well. When it comes
to coaching, the great thing about them is they
are the mirror. They are the one that is able
to see these blind spots that you have. Just
like when we're driving, we have blind spots.
They're the little side cameras on the fancy
cars now that can see everything that's going
on and let you know what you are saying and reflect
it back to you. So if you think, well, I've already
dealt with it. I don't really need more help.
You might have. Maybe, but maybe not. Support
doesn't always mean weakness. Support might be.
wisdom. It might be that opportunity to make
yourself better, a better partner, a better person,
a better entity walking around this earth. If
there was one more thing that I could really
add to this to tie it all together is that you
are allowed to rewrite the story. You're allowed
to feel it without judgment, without extra BS
that you're telling yourself, and you're allowed
to move forward. with grace. Really what I want
you to do is just take a moment to think about
what might still be in your mirror. What still
feels close? In closing, I want you to just take
a moment and think about things that might still
be in your mirror. What still feels close even
though it should be behind you? If you're ready
to release it or even just acknowledge it, coaching
might be your next step. If you'd like to give
it a try, I'd love to support you. You can go
ahead and book a complimentary discovery session
in the link in my bio, or we'll hop on a 30 minute
call and I will help you release what's going
on. Just kind of give you the coach's perspective
of those blind spots that you might have in your
life. If this episode spoke to you or you learned
something from it, or you just felt that it was
impactful, please share it. The more people that
we get listening to this podcast, the more can
get out and help more people. help more people.
As always, thank you so much for listening your
time and attention to me in the world to me.
Remember, the best is yet to come. As long as
you are willing to make the decision every single
day to never settle, never quit, and never peak.
I'll see you guys in the next one.