Welcome to the Forgotten ECE, the show where
before and after school educators, summer camp
and PD staff and CYWs have a place where they
are seen, heard and valued. I'm your host, Jamie
Wankler, and I'm so excited you're here. Hello,
everyone. It's me, Jamie. Welcome back to the
Forgotten ECE. If you have been following along
with the last couple episodes, you know I've
been conducting a series called Families at the
Edges, exploring the real human professional
work that happens in those overlooked spaces
of before and after school care. In part one,
we talked about pickup. In part two, we unpacked
morning drop -off. And because I loved it so
much, I decided that there should be a part three.
Because I can do that because I'm the host. So
here we are. Part three. And we're going to dive
into everything that happens in between. Because
while families may not see most of what we do,
their trust and our professionalism are built
on how we communicate and advocate when they're
not in the room. Welcome to today's episode.
Families experience our program in fragments.
They don't see the teamwork. The reflection,
the quiet coaching moments, or the careful observations
that shape programming. And that's why How Does
Learning Happen reminds us that educators and
families are co -learners in relationship. It's
not just that we inform parents or families.
We actually partner with them. And this partnership
lives in the spaces between presence. The newsletter,
if you send one. The note home, if you send one.
The quick text or message updates. The posted
photos. the documentation, or those learning
stories pinned on the wall. It's also where professional
identity is communicated. Every message, every
caption, every tone choice says, this is how
we see your children. Hey, I'm here. This is
how we see you. This is who we are as educators.
I'm going to ground you in a little bit of facts
because relationship -based Practice isn't a
warm and fuzzy add -on. It's actually evidence
-based. So Harvard, good old Harvard over there,
or down there, I guess, talks about the developing
child. And they find that consistent, responsive
adult relationships are the single strongest
protective factor for children's well -being.
Our communication keeps that consistency alive
between home and program. The Canadian Child
Care Federation highlights that reciprocal family
engagement, actually improves child outcomes,
staff or educator satisfaction, and retention.
Families who feel informed and respected are
more collaborative and less likely to escalate
conflict. And the College of Early Childhood
Educators here in Ontario, the Code of Ethics
calls transparent, reflective, and communication
a professional responsibility, not an optional
courtesy, and they really hit their mark there.
So when we invest time in... thoughtful updates,
newsletter, or reflection boards. We're not just
being nice. We're fulfilling a professional standard
that enhances outcomes for everyone. And I'm
not saying this should be done in your own time
on this world. It should be paid planning time.
It should be paid planning time. But that's a
fight for another day. And I'm here to advocate
for it. So listen up, leaders. If you are listening,
your before and after school educators deserve
paid planning time. Please and thank you. Let's
be real. Communication in before and after school
programs often happens on the fly. We've talked
about it twice. Emails get written between groups.
Photos get posted at the end of a long day. But
when we slow down and add intention, even the
simplest message becomes relational. I want you
to think about this quick test for any communication
you're about to send out. Ask yourself these
three questions before you send. Is it clear?
No jargon, no assumptions. Two, is it kind? Your
tone communicates care, or at least it should.
And three, is it complete? Does it close this
loop or does it leave the family wondering? Here's
an example in a one sentence update. We've been
exploring teamwork through group games. You'd
be amazed at their problem solving today. This
meets all three. It's factual, it's kind, it's
complete. And it dignifies both the edu - and
the child. There's also strength -based framing
that should be taken into consideration because
language shapes perception. So I want you to
compare these for a second. First, they had issues
focusing today. Or second, they found it challenging
to stay focused but showed persistence when supported.
What do you think? I hope you thought the second
one was better. If not, re -listen to them. Rewind.
That's not a rewind sound. I don't even know
what that was. Okay. The second statement shows
reflection and professionalism. It tells families
their children are competent and you are an intentional
partner, not a fault finder. I want you to consider
when you're making documentation that it's advocacy.
Because it's not just busy work, it's actual
proof, visual proof of invisible care. A photo
with an educator captioned like, this group chose
to build a ramp that could launch cars the furthest.
Their collaboration and critical thinking were
incredible. Translates. Play into pedagogy. And
families suddenly see learning happening. The
physics. The cooperation. The problem solving.
And policy makers or administrators who read
this see curriculum alignment. Proof that before
and after school educators programs are educational
ecosystems. And they deserve planning time that's
paid. All right. And in that way, documentation
is advocacy. It shifts the narrative from child
minding to early learning and community building.
And sometimes I do want to tell you that I understand
that the space between holds conflict, a misunderstanding,
a concern, a complaint. Professionally, how we
handle those moments defines our credibility.
Make sure you respond and don't react. Pause
before replying to an emotional email. Regulate
before resolution. It's easy to write an email
as a reaction, but it's not going to get you
anywhere. In your response, make sure you're
acknowledging feelings first. I can hear that
this was upsetting for you. Empathy really diffuses
defensiveness. And keep it trans... Parent and
factual. Stick to what was observed and not interpreted.
And then follow up personally if needed. A short
phone call often resolves what five emails can't
because so much gets lost in translation via
email. There's been research on family school
partnerships and it shows that the tone of a
response is the top predictor of whether a family
remains cooperative after a conflict. And your
calm professionalism becomes a protective factor
for both the relationship and the child. All
right, I want to touch a little on building culture
because connection beyond pickup isn't about
volume, it is about values. So ask yourself a
couple questions. Does our communication reflect
our philosophy? Do families hear our core beliefs,
belonging, well -being, engagement, expression,
or whatever yours are from your center, and how
we speak and write? And do we celebrate children's
agency, or do we just manage the logistics of
the day? The way we communicate is the culture
of our program. If your tone is warm, inclusive,
and reflective, families will mirror that back.
Kill them with kindness. We know this. That's
how strong communities grow, through consistent,
value -driven communication. The bigger picture
in all of this is we're representing the profession.
Every message you send, even a quick one, represents
the field. You're modeling what quality care
looks like in school -age programming. When you
write with intention, cite theory in staff emails,
or share reflective documentation, you elevate
not just your program, but the profession as
a whole. And advocacy doesn't always look like
rallies or strike or picketing. Sometimes it
looks like an educator sending a thoughtful note
that makes the family say, wow, they really know
my child. That's a culture change, one inbox
at a time. All right, before we close here today,
I have some questions that I want you to take
to your next team meeting or journal about if
that's your go -to. One, which family communications
am I proud of and which make me cringe and why?
Do your updates. reflect both joy and learning?
Three, how can our team ensure consistency in
tone and values across all messages? And four,
what assumptions might families hold about our
program? And how can our communication gently
re -educate them? Again, I want you to know that
reflection isn't self -criticism. It's how educators
stay rooted in their purpose. In between the
rush of drop -offs and the chaos of pickups lives
this quiet, powerful space. The space where relationships
grow through trust, communication, and care.
What happens in this space defines how families
see us, how children feel about us, and how the
public view our work. So fill it with meaning.
Be intentional with your words, be generous with
your understanding, and be proud because this
invisible work is the architecture of belonging.
Thank you for joining me for this three -part
journey through families at the edges. And as
always, if this episode made you think differently
about your own practice, share it with your team
or even the families you serve because when we
communicate with authenticity and professionalism,
everyone wins. You are not just teaching children,
you're teaching the world what quality care looks
like. You are setting the standards. And until
next time, keep connecting, keep reflecting,
and remember, you are not forgotten. Thank you.
Amazing listeners for your support. Don't forget
to follow me on Instagram at MissJamie underscore
R -E -C -E. Give a star rating and leave a review.
Have something you want to hear about in relation
to before and after school programs or full day
summer camp? DM me or comment. Again, thank you
so much and happy learning.