WEBVTT 00:00:08.460 --> 00:00:12.240 Welcome to the Forgotten ECE, the show where 00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:14.640 before and after school educators, summer camp 00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:18.079 and PD staff and CYWs have a place where they 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:21.219 are seen, heard and valued. I'm your host, Jamie 00:00:21.219 --> 00:00:32.299 Wankler, and I'm so excited you're here. Hello, 00:00:32.299 --> 00:00:36.560 everyone. It's me, Jamie. Welcome back to the 00:00:36.560 --> 00:00:39.539 Forgotten ECE. If you have been following along 00:00:39.539 --> 00:00:42.880 with the last couple episodes, you know I've 00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:45.759 been conducting a series called Families at the 00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:48.840 Edges, exploring the real human professional 00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:52.159 work that happens in those overlooked spaces 00:00:52.159 --> 00:00:54.240 of before and after school care. In part one, 00:00:54.299 --> 00:00:58.460 we talked about pickup. In part two, we unpacked 00:00:58.460 --> 00:01:02.460 morning drop -off. And because I loved it so 00:01:02.460 --> 00:01:04.920 much, I decided that there should be a part three. 00:01:05.310 --> 00:01:06.890 Because I can do that because I'm the host. So 00:01:06.890 --> 00:01:09.090 here we are. Part three. And we're going to dive 00:01:09.090 --> 00:01:12.590 into everything that happens in between. Because 00:01:12.590 --> 00:01:15.849 while families may not see most of what we do, 00:01:15.950 --> 00:01:19.329 their trust and our professionalism are built 00:01:19.329 --> 00:01:21.870 on how we communicate and advocate when they're 00:01:21.870 --> 00:01:24.769 not in the room. Welcome to today's episode. 00:01:25.349 --> 00:01:28.170 Families experience our program in fragments. 00:01:28.310 --> 00:01:31.170 They don't see the teamwork. The reflection, 00:01:31.370 --> 00:01:34.569 the quiet coaching moments, or the careful observations 00:01:34.569 --> 00:01:36.969 that shape programming. And that's why How Does 00:01:36.969 --> 00:01:38.909 Learning Happen reminds us that educators and 00:01:38.909 --> 00:01:42.829 families are co -learners in relationship. It's 00:01:42.829 --> 00:01:47.109 not just that we inform parents or families. 00:01:47.349 --> 00:01:50.370 We actually partner with them. And this partnership 00:01:50.370 --> 00:01:53.930 lives in the spaces between presence. The newsletter, 00:01:54.109 --> 00:01:56.310 if you send one. The note home, if you send one. 00:01:56.409 --> 00:01:59.310 The quick text or message updates. The posted 00:01:59.310 --> 00:02:01.409 photos. the documentation, or those learning 00:02:01.409 --> 00:02:05.170 stories pinned on the wall. It's also where professional 00:02:05.170 --> 00:02:08.770 identity is communicated. Every message, every 00:02:08.770 --> 00:02:12.629 caption, every tone choice says, this is how 00:02:12.629 --> 00:02:15.349 we see your children. Hey, I'm here. This is 00:02:15.349 --> 00:02:18.909 how we see you. This is who we are as educators. 00:02:19.330 --> 00:02:21.729 I'm going to ground you in a little bit of facts 00:02:21.729 --> 00:02:25.189 because relationship -based Practice isn't a 00:02:25.189 --> 00:02:28.110 warm and fuzzy add -on. It's actually evidence 00:02:28.110 --> 00:02:31.289 -based. So Harvard, good old Harvard over there, 00:02:31.330 --> 00:02:34.469 or down there, I guess, talks about the developing 00:02:34.469 --> 00:02:37.509 child. And they find that consistent, responsive 00:02:37.509 --> 00:02:40.389 adult relationships are the single strongest 00:02:40.389 --> 00:02:42.969 protective factor for children's well -being. 00:02:43.050 --> 00:02:46.169 Our communication keeps that consistency alive 00:02:46.169 --> 00:02:49.569 between home and program. The Canadian Child 00:02:49.569 --> 00:02:52.729 Care Federation highlights that reciprocal family 00:02:52.729 --> 00:02:54.979 engagement, actually improves child outcomes, 00:02:55.240 --> 00:02:58.580 staff or educator satisfaction, and retention. 00:02:59.020 --> 00:03:02.159 Families who feel informed and respected are 00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:05.400 more collaborative and less likely to escalate 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:08.240 conflict. And the College of Early Childhood 00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:11.639 Educators here in Ontario, the Code of Ethics 00:03:11.639 --> 00:03:14.419 calls transparent, reflective, and communication 00:03:14.419 --> 00:03:18.360 a professional responsibility, not an optional 00:03:18.360 --> 00:03:20.759 courtesy, and they really hit their mark there. 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:24.000 So when we invest time in... thoughtful updates, 00:03:24.199 --> 00:03:27.280 newsletter, or reflection boards. We're not just 00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:29.699 being nice. We're fulfilling a professional standard 00:03:29.699 --> 00:03:32.300 that enhances outcomes for everyone. And I'm 00:03:32.300 --> 00:03:34.060 not saying this should be done in your own time 00:03:34.060 --> 00:03:37.280 on this world. It should be paid planning time. 00:03:37.379 --> 00:03:40.219 It should be paid planning time. But that's a 00:03:40.219 --> 00:03:42.099 fight for another day. And I'm here to advocate 00:03:42.099 --> 00:03:45.419 for it. So listen up, leaders. If you are listening, 00:03:45.780 --> 00:03:47.960 your before and after school educators deserve 00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:52.000 paid planning time. Please and thank you. Let's 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:54.199 be real. Communication in before and after school 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:56.840 programs often happens on the fly. We've talked 00:03:56.840 --> 00:03:58.979 about it twice. Emails get written between groups. 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:01.259 Photos get posted at the end of a long day. But 00:04:01.259 --> 00:04:04.379 when we slow down and add intention, even the 00:04:04.379 --> 00:04:07.120 simplest message becomes relational. I want you 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:09.699 to think about this quick test for any communication 00:04:09.699 --> 00:04:11.780 you're about to send out. Ask yourself these 00:04:11.780 --> 00:04:14.539 three questions before you send. Is it clear? 00:04:14.819 --> 00:04:18.839 No jargon, no assumptions. Two, is it kind? Your 00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:21.920 tone communicates care, or at least it should. 00:04:22.160 --> 00:04:24.939 And three, is it complete? Does it close this 00:04:24.939 --> 00:04:27.600 loop or does it leave the family wondering? Here's 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:30.500 an example in a one sentence update. We've been 00:04:30.500 --> 00:04:33.160 exploring teamwork through group games. You'd 00:04:33.160 --> 00:04:35.600 be amazed at their problem solving today. This 00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:37.939 meets all three. It's factual, it's kind, it's 00:04:37.939 --> 00:04:40.569 complete. And it dignifies both the edu - and 00:04:40.569 --> 00:04:44.430 the child. There's also strength -based framing 00:04:44.430 --> 00:04:47.930 that should be taken into consideration because 00:04:47.930 --> 00:04:50.470 language shapes perception. So I want you to 00:04:50.470 --> 00:04:53.589 compare these for a second. First, they had issues 00:04:53.589 --> 00:04:57.709 focusing today. Or second, they found it challenging 00:04:57.709 --> 00:05:00.490 to stay focused but showed persistence when supported. 00:05:00.829 --> 00:05:02.930 What do you think? I hope you thought the second 00:05:02.930 --> 00:05:05.670 one was better. If not, re -listen to them. Rewind. 00:05:06.910 --> 00:05:08.610 That's not a rewind sound. I don't even know 00:05:08.610 --> 00:05:10.779 what that was. Okay. The second statement shows 00:05:10.779 --> 00:05:13.459 reflection and professionalism. It tells families 00:05:13.459 --> 00:05:17.920 their children are competent and you are an intentional 00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:21.759 partner, not a fault finder. I want you to consider 00:05:21.759 --> 00:05:24.600 when you're making documentation that it's advocacy. 00:05:24.759 --> 00:05:27.600 Because it's not just busy work, it's actual 00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:32.420 proof, visual proof of invisible care. A photo 00:05:32.420 --> 00:05:35.879 with an educator captioned like, this group chose 00:05:35.879 --> 00:05:40.220 to build a ramp that could launch cars the furthest. 00:05:40.220 --> 00:05:42.339 Their collaboration and critical thinking were 00:05:42.339 --> 00:05:46.269 incredible. Translates. Play into pedagogy. And 00:05:46.269 --> 00:05:49.009 families suddenly see learning happening. The 00:05:49.009 --> 00:05:52.290 physics. The cooperation. The problem solving. 00:05:52.490 --> 00:05:56.069 And policy makers or administrators who read 00:05:56.069 --> 00:06:00.129 this see curriculum alignment. Proof that before 00:06:00.129 --> 00:06:02.709 and after school educators programs are educational 00:06:02.709 --> 00:06:05.850 ecosystems. And they deserve planning time that's 00:06:05.850 --> 00:06:08.100 paid. All right. And in that way, documentation 00:06:08.100 --> 00:06:11.439 is advocacy. It shifts the narrative from child 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:15.420 minding to early learning and community building. 00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:19.339 And sometimes I do want to tell you that I understand 00:06:19.339 --> 00:06:22.279 that the space between holds conflict, a misunderstanding, 00:06:23.060 --> 00:06:26.819 a concern, a complaint. Professionally, how we 00:06:26.819 --> 00:06:29.779 handle those moments defines our credibility. 00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:34.269 Make sure you respond and don't react. Pause 00:06:34.269 --> 00:06:37.529 before replying to an emotional email. Regulate 00:06:37.529 --> 00:06:42.089 before resolution. It's easy to write an email 00:06:42.089 --> 00:06:45.230 as a reaction, but it's not going to get you 00:06:45.230 --> 00:06:47.410 anywhere. In your response, make sure you're 00:06:47.410 --> 00:06:50.089 acknowledging feelings first. I can hear that 00:06:50.089 --> 00:06:53.430 this was upsetting for you. Empathy really diffuses 00:06:53.430 --> 00:06:57.079 defensiveness. And keep it trans... Parent and 00:06:57.079 --> 00:07:00.779 factual. Stick to what was observed and not interpreted. 00:07:01.139 --> 00:07:03.279 And then follow up personally if needed. A short 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:07.620 phone call often resolves what five emails can't 00:07:07.620 --> 00:07:10.839 because so much gets lost in translation via 00:07:10.839 --> 00:07:13.199 email. There's been research on family school 00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:15.259 partnerships and it shows that the tone of a 00:07:15.259 --> 00:07:17.699 response is the top predictor of whether a family 00:07:17.699 --> 00:07:20.459 remains cooperative after a conflict. And your 00:07:20.459 --> 00:07:24.399 calm professionalism becomes a protective factor 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:28.079 for both the relationship and the child. All 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:30.519 right, I want to touch a little on building culture 00:07:30.519 --> 00:07:33.800 because connection beyond pickup isn't about 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:37.459 volume, it is about values. So ask yourself a 00:07:37.459 --> 00:07:39.639 couple questions. Does our communication reflect 00:07:39.639 --> 00:07:42.600 our philosophy? Do families hear our core beliefs, 00:07:42.860 --> 00:07:44.680 belonging, well -being, engagement, expression, 00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:47.519 or whatever yours are from your center, and how 00:07:47.519 --> 00:07:50.920 we speak and write? And do we celebrate children's 00:07:50.920 --> 00:07:54.240 agency, or do we just manage the logistics of 00:07:54.240 --> 00:07:56.779 the day? The way we communicate is the culture 00:07:56.779 --> 00:08:00.220 of our program. If your tone is warm, inclusive, 00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:03.040 and reflective, families will mirror that back. 00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:06.279 Kill them with kindness. We know this. That's 00:08:06.279 --> 00:08:08.439 how strong communities grow, through consistent, 00:08:08.740 --> 00:08:11.639 value -driven communication. The bigger picture 00:08:11.639 --> 00:08:14.000 in all of this is we're representing the profession. 00:08:14.339 --> 00:08:17.060 Every message you send, even a quick one, represents 00:08:17.060 --> 00:08:20.680 the field. You're modeling what quality care 00:08:20.680 --> 00:08:23.379 looks like in school -age programming. When you 00:08:23.379 --> 00:08:26.019 write with intention, cite theory in staff emails, 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:29.160 or share reflective documentation, you elevate 00:08:29.160 --> 00:08:32.700 not just your program, but the profession as 00:08:32.700 --> 00:08:36.019 a whole. And advocacy doesn't always look like 00:08:36.019 --> 00:08:40.480 rallies or strike or picketing. Sometimes it 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:42.700 looks like an educator sending a thoughtful note 00:08:42.700 --> 00:08:45.620 that makes the family say, wow, they really know 00:08:45.620 --> 00:08:48.539 my child. That's a culture change, one inbox 00:08:48.539 --> 00:08:51.159 at a time. All right, before we close here today, 00:08:51.259 --> 00:08:53.840 I have some questions that I want you to take 00:08:53.840 --> 00:08:56.460 to your next team meeting or journal about if 00:08:56.460 --> 00:09:00.120 that's your go -to. One, which family communications 00:09:00.120 --> 00:09:03.120 am I proud of and which make me cringe and why? 00:09:03.299 --> 00:09:08.759 Do your updates. reflect both joy and learning? 00:09:08.980 --> 00:09:12.360 Three, how can our team ensure consistency in 00:09:12.360 --> 00:09:16.419 tone and values across all messages? And four, 00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:18.919 what assumptions might families hold about our 00:09:18.919 --> 00:09:22.139 program? And how can our communication gently 00:09:22.139 --> 00:09:25.240 re -educate them? Again, I want you to know that 00:09:25.240 --> 00:09:28.379 reflection isn't self -criticism. It's how educators 00:09:28.379 --> 00:09:31.450 stay rooted in their purpose. In between the 00:09:31.450 --> 00:09:34.389 rush of drop -offs and the chaos of pickups lives 00:09:34.389 --> 00:09:39.009 this quiet, powerful space. The space where relationships 00:09:39.009 --> 00:09:42.730 grow through trust, communication, and care. 00:09:42.950 --> 00:09:46.070 What happens in this space defines how families 00:09:46.070 --> 00:09:48.909 see us, how children feel about us, and how the 00:09:48.909 --> 00:09:51.370 public view our work. So fill it with meaning. 00:09:51.799 --> 00:09:54.759 Be intentional with your words, be generous with 00:09:54.759 --> 00:09:57.019 your understanding, and be proud because this 00:09:57.019 --> 00:09:59.879 invisible work is the architecture of belonging. 00:10:00.220 --> 00:10:02.980 Thank you for joining me for this three -part 00:10:02.980 --> 00:10:06.279 journey through families at the edges. And as 00:10:06.279 --> 00:10:09.139 always, if this episode made you think differently 00:10:09.139 --> 00:10:11.659 about your own practice, share it with your team 00:10:11.659 --> 00:10:14.019 or even the families you serve because when we 00:10:14.019 --> 00:10:17.139 communicate with authenticity and professionalism, 00:10:17.220 --> 00:10:20.610 everyone wins. You are not just teaching children, 00:10:20.669 --> 00:10:23.549 you're teaching the world what quality care looks 00:10:23.549 --> 00:10:26.590 like. You are setting the standards. And until 00:10:26.590 --> 00:10:29.289 next time, keep connecting, keep reflecting, 00:10:29.389 --> 00:10:39.049 and remember, you are not forgotten. Thank you. 00:10:39.070 --> 00:10:41.549 Amazing listeners for your support. Don't forget 00:10:41.549 --> 00:10:43.909 to follow me on Instagram at MissJamie underscore 00:10:43.909 --> 00:10:47.110 R -E -C -E. Give a star rating and leave a review. 00:10:47.370 --> 00:10:49.889 Have something you want to hear about in relation 00:10:49.889 --> 00:10:52.029 to before and after school programs or full day 00:10:52.029 --> 00:10:55.210 summer camp? DM me or comment. Again, thank you 00:10:55.210 --> 00:10:56.649 so much and happy learning.