WEBVTT 00:00:08.460 --> 00:00:12.240 Welcome to the Forgotten ECE, the show where 00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:14.640 before and after school educators, summer camp 00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:18.079 and PD staff and CYWs have a place where they 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:21.219 are seen, heard and valued. I'm your host, Jamie 00:00:21.219 --> 00:00:31.660 Wagler, and I'm so excited you're here. Hello, 00:00:31.660 --> 00:00:35.479 everyone, and welcome back to the Forgotten ECE. 00:00:36.030 --> 00:00:38.850 I'm so happy you're tuning in today because I 00:00:38.850 --> 00:00:41.890 have a special guest for you. With me today, 00:00:42.090 --> 00:00:46.729 I have Annalisa Vicent. Hi, Annalisa. Hello. 00:00:47.189 --> 00:00:50.700 Thank you so much, Jamie, for having me. So Annalisa 00:00:50.700 --> 00:00:53.100 is a wife and proud mother of two amazing boys. 00:00:53.299 --> 00:00:56.020 She is an early childhood educator and a motherhood 00:00:56.020 --> 00:00:59.119 coach. Annalisa is a passionate maternal mental 00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:02.299 health advocate, and she is determined to break 00:01:02.299 --> 00:01:04.620 the stigma around mental health by normalizing 00:01:04.620 --> 00:01:07.620 vulnerability. Her journey has been deeply enriched 00:01:07.620 --> 00:01:09.659 by her work with children with diverse needs 00:01:09.659 --> 00:01:12.040 and their families, teaching her the profound 00:01:12.040 --> 00:01:14.620 impact of resilience and compassionate care. 00:01:14.900 --> 00:01:17.420 Annalisa's mission is to inspire women in the 00:01:17.420 --> 00:01:19.519 community through meaningful connections. and 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:22.200 creative expression to strengthen their self 00:01:22.200 --> 00:01:25.620 -compassion so that they feel seen, heard, and 00:01:25.620 --> 00:01:29.859 heal. What an empowering mission that you're 00:01:29.859 --> 00:01:33.700 on. Oh, thank you. It's definitely been a journey 00:01:33.700 --> 00:01:36.459 for sure of self -discovery and also finding 00:01:36.459 --> 00:01:39.879 out my purpose and my passion in life. And I 00:01:39.879 --> 00:01:43.900 feel like, yeah, this is my era. Really become 00:01:43.900 --> 00:01:46.219 the person I want to be, not just in my business, 00:01:46.299 --> 00:01:48.760 but in my life. thank you for this opportunity 00:01:48.760 --> 00:01:51.219 when you asked me to come on. I was so happy 00:01:51.219 --> 00:01:53.980 because I really felt so connected to you when 00:01:53.980 --> 00:01:55.980 I first met you. And when you came to the book 00:01:55.980 --> 00:01:58.840 launch, it was just so like heartwarming to see 00:01:58.840 --> 00:02:02.400 your presence there. You're so sweet, honestly. 00:02:02.599 --> 00:02:05.040 No, like I am a strong believer that we meet 00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:07.579 people for a reason. And I know I met you for 00:02:07.579 --> 00:02:09.979 a reason. And this very well be it because what 00:02:09.979 --> 00:02:13.460 you're doing is so incredible. And women need 00:02:13.460 --> 00:02:16.669 this in their lives for sure, for sure. Yes. 00:02:16.750 --> 00:02:21.150 Oh, 100%. So why don't you tell us a bit on like 00:02:21.150 --> 00:02:23.449 how you got started as a life coach and what 00:02:23.449 --> 00:02:27.110 made you decide this? Yeah. Well, I came at a 00:02:27.110 --> 00:02:30.590 crossroads. I've been with the school board for 00:02:30.590 --> 00:02:34.110 a little over, I guess it would have been 11 00:02:34.110 --> 00:02:37.270 years at that time. And I felt like I really 00:02:37.270 --> 00:02:41.310 wanted to do more in my community and in my life 00:02:41.310 --> 00:02:44.639 too. I loved working with children. I think Working 00:02:44.639 --> 00:02:47.219 for the school board was such a great experience 00:02:47.219 --> 00:02:51.020 for the most part. Obviously, every work has 00:02:51.020 --> 00:02:53.319 their challenges and stuff like that. But what 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:57.039 really propelled me further was actually seeing 00:02:57.039 --> 00:02:58.960 my friend. I think I don't know. I think you 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:01.219 know her, Kathleen. Yeah, just I don't know. 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:03.240 I came across her Instagram and I think she was 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:05.639 doing a live and she was talking about how she 00:03:05.639 --> 00:03:07.900 was becoming a coach. And I was like, oh, what 00:03:07.900 --> 00:03:10.340 is this? Because initially, prior to that, I 00:03:10.340 --> 00:03:13.360 had applied to like a master's program in social 00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:16.659 work. I had filled out the application. I did 00:03:16.659 --> 00:03:18.900 all the things I had to do. And then I got the 00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:21.599 rejection letter. And I was just so shocked. 00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:23.979 I'm like, hey, my grades were really good. And 00:03:23.979 --> 00:03:26.800 I have so much experience in human services. 00:03:26.860 --> 00:03:29.479 Like, why not? And it was a really competitive 00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:31.639 program. They couldn't really give me the exact 00:03:31.639 --> 00:03:34.009 reason why I wasn't admitted. But I was like, 00:03:34.030 --> 00:03:36.650 this was a turning point in my life where that 00:03:36.650 --> 00:03:39.289 rejection email turned into a blessing because 00:03:39.289 --> 00:03:41.830 I knew I didn't want to go back to school for 00:03:41.830 --> 00:03:44.370 the next, you know, seven years of my life because 00:03:44.370 --> 00:03:47.270 I did want to, you know, work in the mental health 00:03:47.270 --> 00:03:50.789 realm. But I wanted to think of creative ways 00:03:50.789 --> 00:03:55.210 that I could still help women at that time or 00:03:55.210 --> 00:03:58.789 help people in general without having, you know, 00:03:58.789 --> 00:04:03.449 a PhD or whatnot in psychology or whatever. Yeah, 00:04:03.490 --> 00:04:05.949 I just kind of went down this rabbit hole of 00:04:05.949 --> 00:04:08.610 what coaching is, specifically life coaching, 00:04:08.849 --> 00:04:11.409 because I was like, what is this? I just found 00:04:11.409 --> 00:04:14.150 it kind of like weird that people would hire 00:04:14.150 --> 00:04:17.050 other people, you know, to coach them in their 00:04:17.050 --> 00:04:20.769 life. And I joined a really great program that 00:04:20.769 --> 00:04:24.430 trains coaches based on the ICF, International 00:04:24.430 --> 00:04:26.769 Coaching Federation. It's basically the gold 00:04:26.769 --> 00:04:28.649 standard of coaching if you become certified 00:04:28.649 --> 00:04:31.279 with the ICF. I mean, there's more credibility, 00:04:31.500 --> 00:04:33.879 there's more training. And I really wanted that 00:04:33.879 --> 00:04:35.920 training because I was like, if I'm going to 00:04:35.920 --> 00:04:38.740 help change people's lives, I would love to learn 00:04:38.740 --> 00:04:41.879 how to do that and not just kind of wake up and 00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:44.089 be like, I'm going to be a coach. Yeah, if you're 00:04:44.089 --> 00:04:45.290 going to do it, you're going to do it right. 00:04:45.449 --> 00:04:48.410 It's such a saturated industry right now. It's 00:04:48.410 --> 00:04:50.509 definitely booming. A lot of people are getting 00:04:50.509 --> 00:04:53.290 into coaching, like even doctors and all this. 00:04:53.509 --> 00:04:55.949 And what really drew me to coaching was being 00:04:55.949 --> 00:04:58.709 in the program, learning the skill set, getting 00:04:58.709 --> 00:05:01.410 the training, practicing coaching and coaching 00:05:01.410 --> 00:05:04.189 with other people. It really transformed my life. 00:05:04.540 --> 00:05:07.620 The slogan of my program or my school was the 00:05:07.620 --> 00:05:10.100 first life you change is your own. And that's 00:05:10.100 --> 00:05:12.920 really what happened there. And I knew I needed 00:05:12.920 --> 00:05:15.000 to pick a niche, not that I needed to, but I 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:18.139 wanted to. And because I was having such a hard 00:05:18.139 --> 00:05:22.079 time in like the postpartum period and, you know, 00:05:22.100 --> 00:05:24.740 juggling two young kids under the age of three, 00:05:24.879 --> 00:05:27.740 I really dove in and was like, I really want 00:05:27.740 --> 00:05:30.779 to help moms. I want to support. not just new 00:05:30.779 --> 00:05:32.540 moms, but moms that are feeling overwhelmed, 00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:35.339 struggling with the guilt, the perfectionism, 00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:37.540 the overgiving, because those are the things 00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:40.019 that I really struggled with too. And I think 00:05:40.019 --> 00:05:42.639 at times I still do, but. I really made it my 00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:45.779 mission because I was spoken to so many mothers 00:05:45.779 --> 00:05:48.920 and they're just it's the same thread. It's like 00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:51.699 I'm overwhelmed, but I just have to accept this. 00:05:51.720 --> 00:05:54.060 This is what I wanted. And sometimes what we 00:05:54.060 --> 00:05:56.800 want isn't always, you know, Pinterest perfect 00:05:56.800 --> 00:06:00.160 or Instagram ready. And it's just I had to learn 00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:03.339 the hard way, I think. And so that's what brought 00:06:03.339 --> 00:06:06.209 me to. becoming a motherhood coach, call myself 00:06:06.209 --> 00:06:08.310 that because I was like, oh, that's I saw somebody 00:06:08.310 --> 00:06:10.069 else that had labeled themselves as that. And 00:06:10.069 --> 00:06:11.790 I was like, I like that because it's really what 00:06:11.790 --> 00:06:15.050 I do. I help moms through the journey of motherhood 00:06:15.050 --> 00:06:17.750 and like finding themselves, their identity and 00:06:17.750 --> 00:06:20.509 their worth again. Wow, that's so incredible. 00:06:20.709 --> 00:06:23.009 And it's such an important aspect. I know, like 00:06:23.009 --> 00:06:26.529 with my motherhood journey, I did what I think 00:06:26.529 --> 00:06:27.990 I did really well with the first looking back 00:06:27.990 --> 00:06:30.160 now. I don't know. But like with my mental health 00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:32.600 after and then with the second, I found it really, 00:06:32.660 --> 00:06:35.519 really hard. Not only did I mourn that loss of 00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:37.500 like, you're no longer inside of me because I 00:06:37.500 --> 00:06:39.220 was blessed enough to be able to carry my kids. 00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:42.079 But then all these fears were overwhelming about 00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:44.040 what the future is going to look like and what 00:06:44.040 --> 00:06:45.879 happens if they're bullied. And this is as they 00:06:45.879 --> 00:06:48.660 were like little baby infants. And then now that 00:06:48.660 --> 00:06:50.540 they're school ages, it's like every day I'm. 00:06:51.019 --> 00:06:52.339 constantly worried about how they're doing at 00:06:52.339 --> 00:06:54.420 school. I'm constantly worried about if they're 00:06:54.420 --> 00:06:56.699 making good choices or if people are being mean 00:06:56.699 --> 00:07:00.360 to them or if they're going to do OK. And are 00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:01.920 they going to go to college? Are they going to 00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:03.920 get careers? Are they going to be stuck in this 00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:05.899 recession? It's just constant worry. And you 00:07:05.899 --> 00:07:08.519 don't there's no there's no book of life to tell 00:07:08.519 --> 00:07:10.360 you how to do this. No one what to expect when 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:11.959 you're expecting doesn't give you all of the 00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:14.579 information that we think we need. There's things 00:07:14.579 --> 00:07:19.300 that happen that I never. prepared for. And I 00:07:19.300 --> 00:07:21.980 think having someone like as amazing as you to 00:07:21.980 --> 00:07:24.800 guide people through that, or even like a shoulder 00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:27.779 to talk to and express these needs and then have 00:07:27.779 --> 00:07:29.800 you help them through this, like that's incredible. 00:07:30.040 --> 00:07:32.860 That's such great work. Thank you. I really appreciate 00:07:32.860 --> 00:07:35.639 those kind words because yeah, that's exactly 00:07:35.639 --> 00:07:39.379 it. Like nothing ever prepares you for motherhood. 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:41.800 Like I remember, yeah, being pregnant and like 00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:44.509 reading all the articles and like. buying the 00:07:44.509 --> 00:07:47.490 apps and like, you know, tracking, oh, my baby 00:07:47.490 --> 00:07:51.629 is the size of a grapefruit. OK, like it was 00:07:51.629 --> 00:07:54.110 fun in that sense of being pregnant, feeling 00:07:54.110 --> 00:07:56.569 like literally your baby growing inside you. 00:07:56.610 --> 00:07:59.069 And then, yeah, when you give birth, the postpartum 00:07:59.069 --> 00:08:02.550 period is such a scary, exhausting time. And 00:08:02.550 --> 00:08:04.730 then, yeah, when they get older, like my son 00:08:04.730 --> 00:08:06.930 is in kindergarten now. And it was really tough. 00:08:07.009 --> 00:08:10.410 Like, it's funny because when I was in ECE, like. 00:08:10.680 --> 00:08:13.360 I'm being really honest and transparent here 00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:16.500 right now. I used to judge parents that had the 00:08:16.500 --> 00:08:19.060 quote unquote troubled child. I was like, what's 00:08:19.060 --> 00:08:21.560 happening at home? What are the parents doing? 00:08:21.800 --> 00:08:24.339 Like, why is their child like this? And then 00:08:24.339 --> 00:08:28.500 when you have a child that is labeled as the. 00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:30.939 quote -unquote I mean they never said this but 00:08:30.939 --> 00:08:33.879 like the problem child like I was always getting 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:36.799 uh pulled aside at the end of the day okay talk 00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:39.360 to you some things you know so and so this happened 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:42.379 and it's just like I don't think we give our 00:08:42.379 --> 00:08:45.220 the kids the benefit of the doubt like especially 00:08:45.220 --> 00:08:48.100 kindergarten is such a huge transition for a 00:08:48.100 --> 00:08:50.259 child especially if they haven't been in a school 00:08:50.259 --> 00:08:52.620 environment before and so it's like trying to 00:08:52.620 --> 00:08:55.940 use my ECE to kind of advocate for my son and 00:08:55.940 --> 00:08:58.279 say like listen can we just give him some grace 00:08:58.279 --> 00:09:01.100 here because it's September like I don't know 00:09:01.100 --> 00:09:05.320 what you are really expecting of him and so it 00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:07.799 was tough and I totally hear you about As they 00:09:07.799 --> 00:09:09.340 get older, like, you know, are they going to 00:09:09.340 --> 00:09:11.519 make good choices? Are their friends going to 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:13.679 be, you know, good role models? Because there's 00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:16.019 so many things out of our control. Because when 00:09:16.019 --> 00:09:18.740 they're a baby, we get to essentially, we have 00:09:18.740 --> 00:09:21.320 that control over when they eat, who they're 00:09:21.320 --> 00:09:23.960 with, like how we take care of them, how, you 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:26.279 know, we teach others to, you know, raise our 00:09:26.279 --> 00:09:29.000 child. I mean, it's never like that. But it's, 00:09:29.000 --> 00:09:30.879 yeah, just that reality that we can't always 00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:34.000 protect our kids. And it's scary, but it's also 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.799 just like giving them or teaching them the right. 00:09:36.809 --> 00:09:39.509 Right. Not right way, but like teaching them 00:09:39.509 --> 00:09:41.850 the values that you really believe in and hoping 00:09:41.850 --> 00:09:45.429 that they make the right choices. Yes, absolutely. 00:09:45.629 --> 00:09:47.970 And you said a couple of things there like kindergarten, 00:09:48.250 --> 00:09:52.059 100 percent, like expectations are so. hard for 00:09:52.059 --> 00:09:53.820 children in kindergarten, especially if they're 00:09:53.820 --> 00:09:56.039 not coming from any kind of child care before. 00:09:56.179 --> 00:09:57.740 But even if they are coming from a child care 00:09:57.740 --> 00:10:00.399 before, they're going from usually a play -based 00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:02.559 curriculum to all of a sudden, yes, there's some 00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:04.340 play in kindergarten, but not nearly enough. 00:10:04.600 --> 00:10:06.980 And then there's 30 kids stuffed into a classroom 00:10:06.980 --> 00:10:10.019 with one teacher and one early child educator. 00:10:10.340 --> 00:10:13.259 It's like, what? How are you ever? I was told, 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:16.679 oh, so disheartening. I was told in my son's 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:19.600 first year of kindergarten that at parent -teacher 00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:22.200 meetings that I asked how he was doing and if 00:10:22.200 --> 00:10:24.000 he was adjusting well to school. And they said, 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:27.559 well, he's not the worst child. So he's he seemed 00:10:27.559 --> 00:10:30.419 fine. So he has to be the worst child for you 00:10:30.419 --> 00:10:32.159 to pay attention to him. And I get it. And I 00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:34.460 don't get me wrong. I loved his teacher. And 00:10:34.460 --> 00:10:37.139 I do. I still like I still talk to her. But there 00:10:37.139 --> 00:10:40.779 it's it's just a broken system. And now he's 00:10:40.779 --> 00:10:43.000 he is he's definitely labeled a problem child. 00:10:43.139 --> 00:10:45.860 Like reportedly, I get called into the school 00:10:45.860 --> 00:10:48.299 all of the time. And I'm a huge advocate at the 00:10:48.299 --> 00:10:51.279 school. But it's like, gosh. when he he's just 00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:53.419 active and when he's active or rowdy outside 00:10:53.419 --> 00:10:55.740 making him stand against the wall isn't going 00:10:55.740 --> 00:10:57.639 to help that he needs to get his energy out before 00:10:57.639 --> 00:10:59.700 he goes back into school or like anyways i'm 00:10:59.700 --> 00:11:01.879 going off on a tangent but the children are just 00:11:01.879 --> 00:11:04.539 so there's so many challenges that parents face 00:11:04.539 --> 00:11:06.039 because then they feel like they have to take 00:11:06.039 --> 00:11:08.100 on these challenges by themselves while also 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:10.659 advocating for their kids so what are some of 00:11:10.659 --> 00:11:12.700 the biggest challenges that you see moms facing 00:11:12.700 --> 00:11:14.940 when it comes to balancing their own well -being 00:11:14.940 --> 00:11:17.379 and then supporting their school -aged child 00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:20.940 That is funny because that's such a simple question, 00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:24.700 but it's such a loaded layer. Taking care of 00:11:24.700 --> 00:11:27.700 ourselves is, I think, the hardest thing because 00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:31.720 we were conditioned and we were raised to be 00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:35.860 that nurturer, be, you know, the caregiver, the 00:11:35.860 --> 00:11:39.059 supermom that nothing fazes her and she knows 00:11:39.059 --> 00:11:41.590 it all. And I think the truth is, is that we 00:11:41.590 --> 00:11:44.529 act like we know it all. And I think also people 00:11:44.529 --> 00:11:46.690 expect us to know it all, but we really don't. 00:11:46.690 --> 00:11:50.549 We're kind of just using our best judgment and 00:11:50.549 --> 00:11:53.289 using the resources that we have to, you know, 00:11:53.289 --> 00:11:56.789 keep our children thriving in a system that I 00:11:56.789 --> 00:11:59.009 do agree is broken. You know, private school 00:11:59.009 --> 00:12:01.309 rates have apparently risen. I was speaking to 00:12:01.309 --> 00:12:03.230 a friend about that. A lot of people want to 00:12:03.230 --> 00:12:05.570 homeschool their kids. I know there's like a 00:12:05.570 --> 00:12:07.409 lot, there's like nature schools now, which is 00:12:07.409 --> 00:12:09.799 amazing. But I think especially with boys, I 00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:12.259 think there's a lot of pressure on young boys 00:12:12.259 --> 00:12:14.879 in the school age demographic where it's just 00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:18.080 like they're told to sit down, sit still. Is 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:20.639 it a can't attitude or is it a won't attitude? 00:12:20.740 --> 00:12:23.200 Because I think especially when they're young, 00:12:23.340 --> 00:12:26.440 like they have such high levels of testosterone 00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:29.080 that they physically literally can't sit still. 00:12:29.389 --> 00:12:31.350 That's what I learned is that like they have 00:12:31.350 --> 00:12:34.210 so much energy that they need to expel. Like 00:12:34.210 --> 00:12:36.409 that's why some of the some boys run around the 00:12:36.409 --> 00:12:38.629 classroom because like that's how they regulate 00:12:38.629 --> 00:12:42.129 their emotional or their nervous system. And 00:12:42.129 --> 00:12:45.529 it's it's just so sad because if teachers really 00:12:45.529 --> 00:12:48.990 understood early child development, the expectations 00:12:48.990 --> 00:12:51.330 would be so different. And I think we treat our 00:12:51.330 --> 00:12:54.110 students with so much more compassion than we 00:12:54.110 --> 00:12:57.370 do. It was tough. Yeah. working with some teachers 00:12:57.370 --> 00:12:59.149 that didn't believe that, that they're like, 00:12:59.210 --> 00:13:02.230 no, you know, this is how school should be. This 00:13:02.230 --> 00:13:04.409 is how our students should be. But I think we 00:13:04.409 --> 00:13:07.509 need to reframe that and say, like, how can we 00:13:07.509 --> 00:13:11.129 give these children an opportunity like for autonomy? 00:13:11.250 --> 00:13:14.029 And yes, I think there does need to be like rules 00:13:14.029 --> 00:13:17.730 and structure and all that. But it's really trying 00:13:17.730 --> 00:13:21.409 to see the child as a unique person, not just 00:13:21.409 --> 00:13:24.450 like a robot that. follows instructions, sits 00:13:24.450 --> 00:13:27.690 down, eats lunch, stands against the wall or, 00:13:27.710 --> 00:13:30.230 you know, listens right away. Like it doesn't, 00:13:30.230 --> 00:13:33.009 people don't function like that. Adults don't 00:13:33.009 --> 00:13:35.529 function like that. You tell an adult to do something, 00:13:35.590 --> 00:13:37.929 like most of the time you might get people that 00:13:37.929 --> 00:13:41.129 are compliant, but kids are still learning, you 00:13:41.129 --> 00:13:43.330 know, about the world. And I think, again, like 00:13:43.330 --> 00:13:46.570 you said, the school system is broken. I think 00:13:46.570 --> 00:13:49.289 there's a lot of different expectations coming 00:13:49.289 --> 00:13:51.669 from high up and like there's some teachers that 00:13:51.669 --> 00:13:53.840 are just giving up. I know so many teachers that 00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:56.980 are leaving the school system, and I think it's 00:13:56.980 --> 00:13:58.759 just a reflection of how things are changing. 00:13:59.259 --> 00:14:02.700 Yeah, I know this is a podcast, so you can't 00:14:02.700 --> 00:14:06.720 see my face, but it's so disheartening in a way 00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.360 because it's not the teachers that should be 00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:11.860 leaving that are leaving. It's good teachers 00:14:11.860 --> 00:14:13.440 who are trying and trying and trying but are 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:16.120 tired of having to advocate. for themselves and 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.399 for the students and not getting anywhere. But 00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:19.960 you're absolutely right when you said like we're 00:14:19.960 --> 00:14:22.139 not we're not training our children to be robots. 00:14:22.299 --> 00:14:24.500 This isn't this isn't back in the day when we 00:14:24.500 --> 00:14:27.320 trained children to be a factory workers. This 00:14:27.320 --> 00:14:31.399 is 2025. The curriculum has to change. It has 00:14:31.399 --> 00:14:33.440 to meet the needs of children. And it's not doing 00:14:33.440 --> 00:14:35.580 that. We're still doing standardized testing. 00:14:35.659 --> 00:14:37.539 We're still doing these things and assessing 00:14:37.539 --> 00:14:40.820 children on math, English and whatever else. 00:14:40.879 --> 00:14:43.000 And it's it's not the thing. It's not the things 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:44.940 that are important. For crying out loud, we have 00:14:44.940 --> 00:14:49.139 computers and calculators and chat GPT and Pinterest. 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:53.100 We don't need robots. What we need is children 00:14:53.100 --> 00:14:55.600 to be kind, to care about the world, to care 00:14:55.600 --> 00:14:58.860 about each other and to actually find their place. 00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:01.440 And that's not what's happening in school right 00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.080 now. And then on top of that, so parents are 00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.740 having to deal with all of this and then having 00:15:06.740 --> 00:15:09.330 to deal with their children coming home. being 00:15:09.330 --> 00:15:11.809 burnt out and being upset and distraught and 00:15:11.809 --> 00:15:13.610 not wanting to go to school. There's so many 00:15:13.610 --> 00:15:15.629 parents right now that their children are having 00:15:15.629 --> 00:15:17.629 such a hard time going to school in the morning. 00:15:17.669 --> 00:15:20.110 And it's a battle. And how do you manage that? 00:15:20.289 --> 00:15:22.750 So what I'm going to ask you two questions now. 00:15:22.889 --> 00:15:26.149 How is a parent or how is a mom supposed to take 00:15:26.149 --> 00:15:28.850 care of themselves while also being there and 00:15:28.850 --> 00:15:31.850 being a support to their children? Right. Yeah. 00:15:31.909 --> 00:15:33.429 I'm sorry I didn't answer that in your first 00:15:33.429 --> 00:15:37.350 question. Yeah. Let me talk about that because 00:15:37.350 --> 00:15:41.679 I grew up. believing that, yeah, a mom is supposed 00:15:41.679 --> 00:15:44.379 to part her family first. I think that's a religious, 00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:48.740 cultural, societal expectation. It's really unlearning 00:15:48.740 --> 00:15:50.899 that. Because what I'm learning, I had to learn 00:15:50.899 --> 00:15:52.980 to stop when I experienced postpartum depression 00:15:52.980 --> 00:15:56.000 and anxiety with my second son, is that I needed 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:59.139 to take care of myself first. And that means... 00:15:59.389 --> 00:16:02.590 choosing myself first. And that's not selfish. 00:16:02.669 --> 00:16:04.929 I think in other words, I think that's like essential 00:16:04.929 --> 00:16:08.389 for your overall well -being. That's mentally, 00:16:08.450 --> 00:16:11.330 physically, because I was always choosing my 00:16:11.330 --> 00:16:13.789 family, my kids first. I was like, oh, I'll go 00:16:13.789 --> 00:16:16.029 for a walk later. I'll read that book tonight. 00:16:16.269 --> 00:16:18.990 I'll, you know, I'll go for a workout. You know 00:16:18.990 --> 00:16:21.129 what? You know, just later. I kept saying later 00:16:21.129 --> 00:16:24.750 and later never came. And then I just got really 00:16:24.750 --> 00:16:28.549 sad most of the time. I was also really resentful 00:16:28.549 --> 00:16:31.450 and angry towards not just my kids, my spouse. 00:16:31.789 --> 00:16:34.450 And it trickles down into the family. When we 00:16:34.450 --> 00:16:37.669 put ourselves last, when we don't take time for 00:16:37.669 --> 00:16:41.409 ourselves, it affects not just our own well -being, 00:16:41.450 --> 00:16:44.330 but our children's well -being too. Last year, 00:16:44.350 --> 00:16:46.610 I experienced burnout. And it's funny because 00:16:46.610 --> 00:16:49.529 I had quit my job to prevent burnout because 00:16:49.529 --> 00:16:50.990 I was like, oh, I'm going to juggle my business 00:16:50.990 --> 00:16:53.029 and motherhood. It'll be great. I'll have so 00:16:53.029 --> 00:16:55.929 much time. And it ended up being the opposite. 00:16:56.070 --> 00:16:59.029 Like I was trying to be this like perfect mom 00:16:59.029 --> 00:17:01.090 and like be present with my kids all the time 00:17:01.090 --> 00:17:03.669 and also try to do like grow my business. And 00:17:03.669 --> 00:17:06.289 it and it wasn't meshing well. We also had moved 00:17:06.289 --> 00:17:08.390 at the time. And so there's so many different 00:17:08.390 --> 00:17:10.930 hats I was wearing and I just couldn't do it 00:17:10.930 --> 00:17:14.619 anymore. And I thought I could because I. thought 00:17:14.619 --> 00:17:17.319 I could be that mom that you know those like 00:17:17.319 --> 00:17:19.539 you know mom influencers that this is what my 00:17:19.539 --> 00:17:21.799 like this is what I do in a day and it's just 00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:24.640 like whose day looks like that because it's not 00:17:24.640 --> 00:17:27.539 realistic and like I know social media is like 00:17:27.539 --> 00:17:31.019 mostly an illusion but it's just you strive for 00:17:31.019 --> 00:17:33.160 that because like you see that everywhere like 00:17:33.160 --> 00:17:35.339 you see it in movies you see it on tv commercials 00:17:35.339 --> 00:17:37.700 where it's just like you know you're perfectly 00:17:37.700 --> 00:17:39.720 manicured but you're doing it all and you're 00:17:39.720 --> 00:17:43.019 happy and the reality is is that I felt, I think 00:17:43.019 --> 00:17:46.400 doing it all just made me really bitter and angry 00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:50.420 and exhausted and overwhelmed. And I really had 00:17:50.420 --> 00:17:53.720 to ask myself, actually, my friend asked me this. 00:17:53.799 --> 00:17:55.759 She's like, what does Annalisa need right now? 00:17:55.880 --> 00:17:59.299 And I paused and I couldn't even come up with 00:17:59.299 --> 00:18:02.740 an answer. And I knew that was my breaking point 00:18:02.740 --> 00:18:04.559 that I didn't even know what I needed anymore. 00:18:05.099 --> 00:18:07.880 And I had to make a shift, a quick shift and 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:10.059 kind of just like really put my business on the 00:18:10.059 --> 00:18:13.359 back burner and refocus on getting better, getting 00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:16.539 more sleep, getting outside, walking, moving 00:18:16.539 --> 00:18:19.680 my body and talking about the burnout that I 00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:21.900 was feeling because I was really internalizing 00:18:21.900 --> 00:18:24.940 everything. And so when I started getting better, 00:18:25.019 --> 00:18:29.079 I noticed I was more present. I wasn't bitter 00:18:29.079 --> 00:18:31.660 and angry anymore. I wasn't lashing out on my 00:18:31.660 --> 00:18:34.680 kids or my family, but it was a tough. tough 00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:38.640 road to kind of bounce back from that and like 00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:40.819 you know facilitating workshops on self -care 00:18:40.819 --> 00:18:44.160 and it's just this kind of like full circle moment 00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:47.440 because when you're in it you don't realize what 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:49.440 you're going through because it's just you're 00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:52.460 so deep into it but it's definitely possible 00:18:52.460 --> 00:18:55.319 but I think it first takes like self -awareness 00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:57.779 and acceptance that it is happening because I 00:18:57.779 --> 00:19:00.380 was really trying to prevent that so yeah I think 00:19:00.380 --> 00:19:02.799 when the mom thrives like the family thrives 00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:05.789 as well. And I've seen that like firsthand because 00:19:05.789 --> 00:19:08.309 it happened to be recently last year. So, yeah, 00:19:08.430 --> 00:19:10.549 it's a real thing to take care of ourselves first 00:19:10.549 --> 00:19:12.990 because it's not selfish. And I know a lot of 00:19:12.990 --> 00:19:15.170 women will be like, oh, no, family first. Like, 00:19:15.230 --> 00:19:16.849 you know, your kids come first. It's like, no, 00:19:16.990 --> 00:19:19.369 you come first. And it's a hard pill to swallow, 00:19:19.490 --> 00:19:21.730 I think, for some of us. But it's so important. 00:19:22.269 --> 00:19:24.910 Wow. Yeah. First and foremost, thank you so much 00:19:24.910 --> 00:19:27.250 for being so vulnerable here today. I think it's 00:19:27.250 --> 00:19:29.990 the only way that people are going to to hear. 00:19:30.809 --> 00:19:32.730 hear what you're saying and hear what we're talking 00:19:32.730 --> 00:19:34.750 about. We're advocating about is when they hear 00:19:34.750 --> 00:19:37.329 the real life thing. And I, I super appreciate 00:19:37.329 --> 00:19:39.910 you doing that here and being vulnerable. You 00:19:39.910 --> 00:19:41.829 said a couple of things that resonated with me 00:19:41.829 --> 00:19:43.710 first and foremost, that you're right. Self -care 00:19:43.710 --> 00:19:46.410 is not selfish and we hear it all the time, but 00:19:46.410 --> 00:19:48.829 then it's brushed off with go get a manicure, 00:19:48.829 --> 00:19:52.009 go get your eyebrows done, go for a facial. It's 00:19:52.009 --> 00:19:54.599 just not, that's not. That's not what self -care 00:19:54.599 --> 00:19:56.839 is. Self -care is listening to your body. It's 00:19:56.839 --> 00:19:58.619 sleeping in if you have the chance to sleep in 00:19:58.619 --> 00:20:03.039 or it's taking a freaking nap. There's nothing 00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:05.220 wrong with taking a nap on a day that you get 00:20:05.220 --> 00:20:08.039 to take a nap. But oh, so many things you said 00:20:08.039 --> 00:20:11.160 resonated with me. I agree. I think that moms 00:20:11.160 --> 00:20:15.019 are put on or sole parents are put on this pedestal 00:20:15.019 --> 00:20:18.750 and it is shown everywhere how. picture perfect 00:20:18.750 --> 00:20:20.930 their lives are. I mean, if you if you look what's 00:20:20.930 --> 00:20:22.710 trending right now on TikTok, I mean, I guess 00:20:22.710 --> 00:20:24.869 it's been a year, but like mom talk was trending 00:20:24.869 --> 00:20:27.220 and it's like. No one is like that. I'm so sorry 00:20:27.220 --> 00:20:28.799 if for some reason you're listening to this, 00:20:28.819 --> 00:20:30.980 but no one has a life like that. It's just not 00:20:30.980 --> 00:20:34.160 realistic. And people have to work hard and they 00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:36.319 have to juggle all of these things. And it's 00:20:36.319 --> 00:20:39.259 absolutely impossible to do everything. There's 00:20:39.259 --> 00:20:42.119 something giving somewhere. And if you can't 00:20:42.119 --> 00:20:45.740 see it, it's probably your health. It's not like 00:20:45.740 --> 00:20:48.420 there's these crazy signs coming. I just imagine 00:20:48.420 --> 00:20:52.109 like... because I'm a 90s kid. I imagine a roadrunner 00:20:52.109 --> 00:20:54.069 running down the road and all these warning signs. 00:20:54.150 --> 00:20:55.930 There's no warning sign saying, burn out ahead, 00:20:56.210 --> 00:20:58.009 burn out ahead. It comes and all of a sudden 00:20:58.009 --> 00:20:59.529 you realize that you're living this life and 00:20:59.529 --> 00:21:01.869 that it doesn't even feel like you anymore. It's 00:21:01.869 --> 00:21:03.670 not what you were meant to do. It's not who you 00:21:03.670 --> 00:21:05.630 thought you were going to be. It's just, and 00:21:05.630 --> 00:21:07.410 you don't even recognize the person looking in 00:21:07.410 --> 00:21:09.430 the mirror or when you're talking to your children 00:21:09.430 --> 00:21:11.630 and the words that you're saying, you don't recognize 00:21:11.630 --> 00:21:13.549 it anymore. You're like, no, I know this is not 00:21:13.549 --> 00:21:15.250 how I should be talking to them. And wow, yeah, 00:21:15.369 --> 00:21:18.869 it's hard. And it's so important that. People 00:21:18.869 --> 00:21:21.349 hear that there's there's a community out there 00:21:21.349 --> 00:21:23.009 and there's people out there to help them because 00:21:23.009 --> 00:21:25.930 it doesn't have to be like this. Exactly. And 00:21:25.930 --> 00:21:28.150 it doesn't have to be like this. And I think 00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:31.609 as moms, we blame ourselves like, oh, you know, 00:21:31.630 --> 00:21:33.609 I should be working out or I should read that 00:21:33.609 --> 00:21:37.130 book. It's all the shoulds. The shoulds are really 00:21:37.130 --> 00:21:40.769 not ours to own. It's like the expectations that 00:21:40.769 --> 00:21:43.730 have been put on us from, you know, cultural 00:21:43.730 --> 00:21:47.349 religion and society. And I really don't think. 00:21:47.980 --> 00:21:51.160 Our system is built to support moms right now. 00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:54.940 I think it's still very much, you know, the mom 00:21:54.940 --> 00:21:58.119 is the default parent and it's the invisible 00:21:58.119 --> 00:22:00.220 load, really. I started learning about invisible 00:22:00.220 --> 00:22:03.259 load just these past two years. I'm like, oh, 00:22:03.299 --> 00:22:06.720 my God, there's a name for it. I thought it was 00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:10.119 just like me, like these expectations, the invisible 00:22:10.119 --> 00:22:12.380 work that moms do, like you were mentioning in 00:22:12.380 --> 00:22:14.579 the beginning, like the planning, the worrying, 00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:17.990 the delegating, the parent that's. being pulled 00:22:17.990 --> 00:22:19.750 aside because most of the times it's not the 00:22:19.750 --> 00:22:22.450 dad that's being pulled aside or being called 00:22:22.450 --> 00:22:26.289 at 12 noon oh so your son did this today it's 00:22:26.289 --> 00:22:30.829 like well he also has a dad calling me but it's 00:22:30.829 --> 00:22:33.549 just like yeah even when I was working with a 00:22:33.549 --> 00:22:36.269 school board I was always calling the mom mind 00:22:36.269 --> 00:22:38.150 you there were two parents on the list but it 00:22:38.150 --> 00:22:41.470 was always like mom is the first call like you 00:22:41.470 --> 00:22:43.250 always call mom first and then you call dad if 00:22:43.250 --> 00:22:46.529 you can't contact mom and so It's just these 00:22:46.529 --> 00:22:49.789 unrealistic expectations that are put on moms, 00:22:49.809 --> 00:22:52.130 on parents in general, that, you know, you have 00:22:52.130 --> 00:22:54.049 to be the gentle parent, but you also have to 00:22:54.049 --> 00:22:56.630 like teach them leadership and like innovation 00:22:56.630 --> 00:22:58.910 and like all this stuff. And it's just like, 00:22:58.910 --> 00:23:01.690 we can't do it in like the society that we're 00:23:01.690 --> 00:23:04.089 living in right now. There's such a, we live 00:23:04.089 --> 00:23:06.569 in such a divided world right now, I think. There's 00:23:06.569 --> 00:23:09.490 so much judgment and criticism and hate going 00:23:09.490 --> 00:23:12.730 on. And it's like, how can we come back to like 00:23:12.730 --> 00:23:15.490 the values of kindergarten? Where it's like, 00:23:15.509 --> 00:23:18.329 you know, everybody feels included. Everybody 00:23:18.329 --> 00:23:21.809 feels welcomed and heard. And it's just, it's 00:23:21.809 --> 00:23:24.930 not the reality, unfortunately. I mean, I hope 00:23:24.930 --> 00:23:27.089 things change. I don't know. But I think it starts 00:23:27.089 --> 00:23:30.509 with us. Like it starts at home. Again, teaching 00:23:30.509 --> 00:23:33.230 those values, whatever values you have, like 00:23:33.230 --> 00:23:35.930 instilling that in your child so that they eventually 00:23:35.930 --> 00:23:38.690 can make good choices. I mean, who hopes so? 00:23:39.089 --> 00:23:41.650 I love, I was speaking to this doctor. She's 00:23:41.650 --> 00:23:44.839 a perinatal psychiatrist. It's part of a support 00:23:44.839 --> 00:23:47.559 group I was part of. And she mentioned that, 00:23:47.579 --> 00:23:50.980 you know, children, we're not carpenters and 00:23:50.980 --> 00:23:54.160 we're not carving our children out of wood. She's 00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:56.640 like, we are gardeners. Our children are our 00:23:56.640 --> 00:24:00.519 flowers. And we shower them with love and we, 00:24:00.619 --> 00:24:03.460 you know, provide them with warmth and sunshine. 00:24:03.519 --> 00:24:06.000 And how she described it was so beautiful because 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:09.839 it's like a farmer has no control over how their 00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:12.789 crops or their garden grows. You know, you just 00:24:12.789 --> 00:24:15.690 will give it water, sun and air and you just 00:24:15.690 --> 00:24:18.410 hope for the best. Because with, you know, when 00:24:18.410 --> 00:24:20.089 you're a carpenter, you're trying to like mold 00:24:20.089 --> 00:24:23.230 your child into what you think it should should 00:24:23.230 --> 00:24:25.609 be and how they should act. And it's just when 00:24:25.609 --> 00:24:26.950 she said that, I was like, oh, my God, that's 00:24:26.950 --> 00:24:30.349 such a beautiful metaphor for like raising children, 00:24:30.509 --> 00:24:33.309 because it's so true. We only have control over, 00:24:33.410 --> 00:24:35.890 you know, how much we love them, how much support 00:24:35.890 --> 00:24:39.049 we give them autonomy as well. But it's tough. 00:24:39.109 --> 00:24:42.529 It's not easy. Wow, I love that. Yeah. Wow. I'm 00:24:42.529 --> 00:24:45.089 really getting a little emotional. It's so true. 00:24:45.170 --> 00:24:47.609 Like you can you can pour so much of yourself 00:24:47.609 --> 00:24:50.190 into your children. And in the end, at the end 00:24:50.190 --> 00:24:51.950 of the day, who they're going to be is who they're 00:24:51.950 --> 00:24:53.630 going to be. It's not it's not going to make 00:24:53.630 --> 00:24:56.930 a difference if I pick them up from school or 00:24:56.930 --> 00:24:59.509 their dad picks them up from school or or which 00:24:59.509 --> 00:25:00.869 parent picks them up from school. It's not going 00:25:00.869 --> 00:25:03.490 to make a difference. You make the right choices 00:25:03.490 --> 00:25:06.359 and you do the right things and you model. the 00:25:06.359 --> 00:25:08.759 way you're supposed to. But in the end, there's 00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:11.880 still people and they're still going to face 00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:14.539 the world the way they are. You talk a lot about 00:25:14.539 --> 00:25:17.819 modeling and like resilience and emotional regulation 00:25:17.819 --> 00:25:20.099 for moms and taking care of their self first. 00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:23.880 So how can moms model resilience and emotional 00:25:23.880 --> 00:25:27.240 regulation for their school -aged children to 00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:30.799 then learn from? I think it's like learning how 00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:35.359 to label emotions properly. In learning about 00:25:35.359 --> 00:25:38.500 like emotional intelligence and emotion in general, 00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:42.579 like there's more than like the standard sad, 00:25:42.819 --> 00:25:45.319 angry, you know, nervous and all that stuff. 00:25:45.380 --> 00:25:48.079 There's apparently, can't remember what Brene 00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:51.680 Brown said, but like over 70 different actual 00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:54.920 emotions. And not that we have to teach our kids 00:25:54.920 --> 00:25:56.839 all of these emotions, but I think it's just 00:25:56.839 --> 00:26:00.039 being really honest with your kids about how 00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:03.099 you're feeling. And learning to repair the relationship 00:26:03.099 --> 00:26:06.279 when you do get angry, when you do get mad or 00:26:06.279 --> 00:26:08.339 you say something that you regret. Because I 00:26:08.339 --> 00:26:10.259 think we're all human at the end of the day and 00:26:10.259 --> 00:26:12.220 we're going to make mistakes and we're going 00:26:12.220 --> 00:26:15.220 to say things that we probably didn't mean. Especially 00:26:15.220 --> 00:26:18.319 when we're feeling depleted, exhausted or overwhelmed 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:22.539 like most moms do some of the time. So it's really 00:26:22.539 --> 00:26:26.339 understanding how you are feeling in the moment. 00:26:27.609 --> 00:26:30.069 kind of repairing the relationship after just 00:26:30.069 --> 00:26:32.950 really having opening the conversation about, 00:26:33.069 --> 00:26:36.470 you know, mom was feeling really upset. I'm really 00:26:36.470 --> 00:26:39.529 sorry that I yelled or I'm really sorry that 00:26:39.529 --> 00:26:41.630 I said that I really didn't mean it. Like, do 00:26:41.630 --> 00:26:44.210 you forgive me? Because I think saying sorry 00:26:44.210 --> 00:26:48.029 to your child is a huge opportunity and learning 00:26:48.029 --> 00:26:51.450 lesson for them that, oh, OK, like mom can get 00:26:51.450 --> 00:26:54.910 mad, but she can also, you know, take accountability 00:26:54.910 --> 00:26:57.730 for her behavior. take responsibility for her 00:26:57.730 --> 00:27:00.650 behavior, and they know that they're loved. I 00:27:00.650 --> 00:27:02.369 think that's the most important thing is that 00:27:02.369 --> 00:27:04.529 I'm constantly, not that I'm like always yelling 00:27:04.529 --> 00:27:07.089 at my kids, but like I'm okay with apologizing 00:27:07.089 --> 00:27:09.690 to them and saying that I messed up. You know, 00:27:09.730 --> 00:27:12.390 I lost control or like I was really upset. I 00:27:12.390 --> 00:27:14.589 didn't mean to yell, but you know, really being 00:27:14.589 --> 00:27:17.509 honest with them and not sugarcoating feelings 00:27:17.509 --> 00:27:20.089 or trying to suppress feelings either. Because 00:27:20.089 --> 00:27:23.509 I find when the rage comes out, it's usually 00:27:23.509 --> 00:27:26.019 because we're suppressing our emotions. And how 00:27:26.019 --> 00:27:28.279 we're feeling in that moment or, you know, how 00:27:28.279 --> 00:27:30.619 we were feeling three days ago. So all those 00:27:30.619 --> 00:27:33.500 things kind of fester when we don't give ourselves 00:27:33.500 --> 00:27:37.039 the freedom or the peace to just feel really 00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:39.380 uncomfortable in those uncomfortable feelings 00:27:39.380 --> 00:27:42.539 like anger, sadness or frustration. I mean, it's 00:27:42.539 --> 00:27:45.059 tough. It takes practice. But I think emotional 00:27:45.059 --> 00:27:48.880 regulation is something that as adults, we also 00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:52.519 need to work on because I think most like I mean, 00:27:52.539 --> 00:27:55.299 if you're not an ECE or if you're not. like not 00:27:55.299 --> 00:27:57.000 necessarily trained in emotional intelligence, 00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:00.140 but if you don't know how to label your own emotions, 00:28:00.299 --> 00:28:02.220 it's definitely something that is beneficial. 00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:04.880 Yeah. I mean, it's just, again, like remembering 00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:07.700 that you're human and that there is no bad emotion. 00:28:07.819 --> 00:28:10.759 Like you're allowed to feel how you feel in a 00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:14.200 way that you can model to your own kids that 00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:16.700 it's okay to have these feelings. And then you 00:28:16.700 --> 00:28:18.960 kind of, you know, talk about, have a conversation 00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:22.319 about what's okay to do when you're feeling a 00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:24.230 certain way and what's not okay. So that's a 00:28:24.230 --> 00:28:26.690 huge piece, too. Yeah. Like everything you're 00:28:26.690 --> 00:28:30.230 saying is so eye opening. But also like as an 00:28:30.230 --> 00:28:32.309 educator, I also try it like as an educator to 00:28:32.309 --> 00:28:36.289 mom. It's funny because growing up, I was definitely 00:28:36.289 --> 00:28:40.170 Mandy's kid. And these things we didn't do. If 00:28:40.170 --> 00:28:42.630 I was frustrated as a kid and don't get me wrong, 00:28:42.690 --> 00:28:44.410 I love my parents. But if I was frustrated as 00:28:44.410 --> 00:28:46.230 a kid, I was allowed to scream and shout or cry. 00:28:46.349 --> 00:28:48.970 And there was definitely no, it's OK if you're 00:28:48.970 --> 00:28:50.940 feeling upset. It was. Stop yelling at me. Go 00:28:50.940 --> 00:28:52.920 to your room. Don't slam the door. I'm so sorry 00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:55.200 if you're listening, Perks. Quick shout out to 00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:58.039 Mom and Dad. But I do, like, now I'm so, I'm 00:28:58.039 --> 00:29:00.599 so aware of it. But also, we do, we have these 00:29:00.599 --> 00:29:03.819 moments that I'm like, ugh, I didn't mean to 00:29:03.819 --> 00:29:06.039 yell. No, it's okay that you're crying, but also 00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:08.039 stop crying. But no, no, no, it's fine. You're 00:29:08.039 --> 00:29:10.339 allowed to cry. I don't know. I want to cry too. 00:29:10.740 --> 00:29:13.279 But I think it's important because we're vulnerable. 00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:15.859 We're, we're human. We feel these things too. 00:29:15.980 --> 00:29:18.500 And it's, apologizing is huge, I think. Because. 00:29:18.890 --> 00:29:21.529 I, I grew up in a house that we, we didn't really 00:29:21.529 --> 00:29:23.230 apologize to each other. It was more, we just 00:29:23.230 --> 00:29:25.049 forget about it. And all of a sudden the next 00:29:25.049 --> 00:29:26.809 day, everything's magically back to normal. And 00:29:26.809 --> 00:29:29.410 there was no, there was no working through it. 00:29:29.650 --> 00:29:34.190 Um, and I, I find myself apologizing to my kids 00:29:34.190 --> 00:29:38.230 a lot because of, of how I say things or how 00:29:38.230 --> 00:29:40.849 I interpret things and not understanding properly. 00:29:41.289 --> 00:29:43.970 And it's just, I want them to know it's okay 00:29:43.970 --> 00:29:46.410 to be sorry. And that when I say I'm sorry, I'm 00:29:46.410 --> 00:29:48.930 not just saying it for them to. To feel better, 00:29:48.990 --> 00:29:51.369 I'm saying it because I sincerely feel sorry. 00:29:51.549 --> 00:29:53.710 Yeah, labeling the emotion. I quickly looked 00:29:53.710 --> 00:29:57.490 because I wanted to validate what you're saying. 00:29:57.710 --> 00:30:00.650 Brittany Brown says there's 87 emotions. I don't 00:30:00.650 --> 00:30:04.509 even know. I might know 10. I have to look at 00:30:04.509 --> 00:30:07.630 that list. Yeah, it's so hard as adults to navigate 00:30:07.630 --> 00:30:10.089 that. How are we supposed to help children navigate 00:30:10.089 --> 00:30:12.369 it? And absolutely, modeling is the way to do 00:30:12.369 --> 00:30:14.809 it. Yeah, for sure. And I don't want to come 00:30:14.809 --> 00:30:17.839 off as this. calm perfect mom here like I've 00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:20.920 seen parts of myself that I never thought I would 00:30:20.920 --> 00:30:23.900 see I think prior to having kids I was what people 00:30:23.900 --> 00:30:26.299 always say oh you're so calm and you're so great 00:30:26.299 --> 00:30:28.839 with the kids and why are you so calm and why 00:30:28.839 --> 00:30:30.900 are you so patient well like it was just like 00:30:30.900 --> 00:30:33.299 again I think I was also partially suppressing 00:30:33.299 --> 00:30:36.420 emotions too at that time like I obviously didn't 00:30:36.420 --> 00:30:39.039 want to like you know get super angry at the 00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:40.740 kids that I was working with or anything like 00:30:40.740 --> 00:30:42.619 that I was always trying to be more patient and 00:30:42.619 --> 00:30:45.559 calm but I think that's also You know, when you 00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:48.500 do become a parent, you get triggered by things 00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:51.119 that happened in your childhood and that are 00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:54.000 still kind of like unresolved feelings that you 00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:56.779 had. Like you said, like, you know, you grew 00:30:56.779 --> 00:30:58.220 up in a house. I grew up in a household, too, 00:30:58.259 --> 00:31:02.240 that I never heard parents apologize. Yeah, like 00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:04.920 it's tough because like I think we always want 00:31:04.920 --> 00:31:07.670 to do. better than the generation before and 00:31:07.670 --> 00:31:12.230 so that in itself is is a lot of mental physical 00:31:12.230 --> 00:31:15.230 emotional exhaustion in itself like trying to 00:31:15.230 --> 00:31:17.910 be the calm in your child's storm like it's not 00:31:17.910 --> 00:31:21.170 unfortunately it's not realistic because children's 00:31:21.170 --> 00:31:23.250 have children have big emotions all the time 00:31:23.250 --> 00:31:25.150 and they have like especially in that toddler 00:31:25.150 --> 00:31:28.430 phase like there's a lot of It's just like a 00:31:28.430 --> 00:31:31.150 roller coaster every day of just like, what are 00:31:31.150 --> 00:31:33.329 we going to go through today? And so you hope 00:31:33.329 --> 00:31:36.269 as they get older that they learn how to calm 00:31:36.269 --> 00:31:39.230 themselves and how to talk about how they're 00:31:39.230 --> 00:31:41.950 feeling. Like I remember it was like a funny 00:31:41.950 --> 00:31:44.609 story. Me and my husband were kind of like arguing 00:31:44.609 --> 00:31:47.150 and it was getting a bit heated. And then my 00:31:47.150 --> 00:31:50.269 son, who's four, he comes between us and he's 00:31:50.269 --> 00:31:53.890 like, guys, guys, come on, calm down. Let's take 00:31:53.890 --> 00:31:56.710 a deep breath. Let's just take a calm down. And 00:31:56.710 --> 00:31:59.140 I just. We both started laughing because I was 00:31:59.140 --> 00:32:01.519 just like, oh, my God, our son is teaching us 00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:05.119 emotional regulation. But it was just like at 00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:06.940 that moment, I was like, OK, I did something 00:32:06.940 --> 00:32:10.519 right there. I feel like I did something right 00:32:10.519 --> 00:32:14.180 there for him to come to us and teach us like, 00:32:14.220 --> 00:32:16.599 hey, calm down. I think it was so good. Like 00:32:16.599 --> 00:32:18.700 he was like, calm down. And like he was doing 00:32:18.700 --> 00:32:21.240 all the facial in the hand, how a teacher would 00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:23.700 do it. I was just like, it was just so funny. 00:32:23.720 --> 00:32:25.670 It was so cute. But like it was that moment that 00:32:25.670 --> 00:32:28.710 I'm like, OK, he finally gets it. It's rewarding 00:32:28.710 --> 00:32:30.930 when they find when it clicks and you're like, 00:32:30.930 --> 00:32:33.869 oh, I think I'm on the right path. Like, yeah, 00:32:33.930 --> 00:32:35.809 you're doing something right. It's like the external 00:32:35.809 --> 00:32:40.369 validation. You're like, OK, cool. OK, one roadblock. 00:32:40.450 --> 00:32:46.210 Check. So we talked a lot tonight about like 00:32:46.210 --> 00:32:49.970 our feelings and emotions and just how to help. 00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:52.680 Children and parents navigate this. So what advice 00:32:52.680 --> 00:32:56.059 do you have for moms who feel isolated or overwhelmed? 00:32:56.579 --> 00:32:59.920 I think the first step is definitely to be aware 00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:02.559 that you do need help. Because I know for me, 00:33:02.619 --> 00:33:05.680 for so long, I wanted to prove to my family, 00:33:05.720 --> 00:33:08.019 my friends, to the world that I could do it, 00:33:08.039 --> 00:33:10.819 that I could take care of a newborn and a toddler 00:33:10.819 --> 00:33:12.960 at the same time. And I could take care of the 00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:15.759 house and I could be a good friend and a great 00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:19.279 mom and all these things. And then I couldn't. 00:33:19.470 --> 00:33:23.890 And I became, yeah, like super like engrossed 00:33:23.890 --> 00:33:26.670 in just trying to look perfect and be perfect. 00:33:26.690 --> 00:33:30.089 And it wasn't sustainable. And so unfortunately, 00:33:30.210 --> 00:33:33.009 you sometimes have to hit rock bottom and maybe 00:33:33.009 --> 00:33:35.109 not even rock bottom. You just kind of have to 00:33:35.109 --> 00:33:37.910 reach a point where you don't want to live in 00:33:37.910 --> 00:33:40.670 this pain and suffering anymore. And you reach 00:33:40.670 --> 00:33:42.609 out for help. Like the first thing I did was 00:33:42.609 --> 00:33:45.230 tell a very close friend, like I was like, hey, 00:33:45.309 --> 00:33:48.599 I think. Like I'm really struggling. And if you 00:33:48.599 --> 00:33:50.619 have, if you're lucky enough to have that support 00:33:50.619 --> 00:33:53.859 system of even just one friend or a family member 00:33:53.859 --> 00:33:56.000 that you really trust and say like, I'm really 00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:58.359 struggling, I need help. Then that's like the 00:33:58.359 --> 00:34:00.660 first thing is reaching out and not being afraid 00:34:00.660 --> 00:34:03.319 or ashamed to reach out. And I think for a long 00:34:03.319 --> 00:34:05.359 time, I didn't want to reach out because again, 00:34:05.460 --> 00:34:08.460 I wanted to have this image that I could do it 00:34:08.460 --> 00:34:11.559 all with a smile on my face. So definitely reach 00:34:11.559 --> 00:34:14.530 out to somebody you love and trust. Because the 00:34:14.530 --> 00:34:16.869 people that care about you will be there for 00:34:16.869 --> 00:34:20.469 you. And yeah, know that you're not alone. Like 00:34:20.469 --> 00:34:24.190 a lot of moms are feeling overwhelmed and not 00:34:24.190 --> 00:34:26.849 just, you know, on a weekly basis, on a daily 00:34:26.849 --> 00:34:29.929 basis. I've talked to so many moms about how 00:34:29.929 --> 00:34:32.570 they're feeling about motherhood. And it's tough 00:34:32.570 --> 00:34:35.070 and it breaks my heart to hear that they feel 00:34:35.070 --> 00:34:37.110 like they just have to accept that it's like 00:34:37.110 --> 00:34:39.869 that. Or they feel like they can't talk to their 00:34:39.869 --> 00:34:42.280 partners about it. When I finally started opening 00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:44.179 up to my husband how I was feeling, he was like, 00:34:44.179 --> 00:34:46.360 I didn't know. He's like, I didn't know. And 00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:50.239 so giving people a chance to also accept the 00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:53.280 help is the next step. So asking for it and then 00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:55.320 accepting it. Because accepting is the hardest 00:34:55.320 --> 00:34:58.280 part, too. It's like you want to say that you 00:34:58.280 --> 00:35:00.699 can do it all, but it's really you can do it 00:35:00.699 --> 00:35:02.800 all for sure. It's just not sustainable because 00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:05.880 you will like break down. It's because your body 00:35:05.880 --> 00:35:08.559 will tell you anyway at some point that, no, 00:35:08.619 --> 00:35:11.820 you need to take a break. So, yeah, I would say 00:35:11.820 --> 00:35:14.900 asking for help and accepting is definitely the 00:35:14.900 --> 00:35:17.440 first step. And it just goes from there. It's 00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:20.300 based on, you know, what you need and who can 00:35:20.300 --> 00:35:21.940 help you and the resources that are available. 00:35:22.099 --> 00:35:24.619 There are so many resources out there. A lot 00:35:24.619 --> 00:35:28.039 of organizations offer free support up to a certain 00:35:28.039 --> 00:35:30.940 age. But yeah, it's just really doing your research. 00:35:31.119 --> 00:35:35.039 Thank God for Google and like ChatGPT and social 00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:38.300 media platforms, nonprofit organizations. There's 00:35:38.300 --> 00:35:40.480 so many things out there. It's just. I mean, 00:35:40.519 --> 00:35:42.820 I always talk about, I'm not like a sponsor or 00:35:42.820 --> 00:35:44.840 anything or affiliate with them, but like I always 00:35:44.840 --> 00:35:47.800 talk about 8 -1 -1, like that, the telehealth 00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:50.699 line, calling to a nurse, like they have so many 00:35:50.699 --> 00:35:53.260 resources and they can help you find resources 00:35:53.260 --> 00:35:56.460 like within your community. So yeah, there is 00:35:56.460 --> 00:35:58.699 help out there for sure. And so I just want moms 00:35:58.699 --> 00:36:00.880 to know that, that there is help or you can call 00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:02.800 me. We'll give it at the end. Don't worry. But 00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:05.360 yes, but it's true. It's true. You're out here 00:36:05.360 --> 00:36:07.519 and you're if you have no one else to talk to. 00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:10.420 This is exactly what Annalise does. So reach 00:36:10.420 --> 00:36:12.860 out to her. I really value that you said and 00:36:12.860 --> 00:36:15.340 accept it because once you get to the point where 00:36:15.340 --> 00:36:17.300 you ask for help, it is it's one thing asking 00:36:17.300 --> 00:36:18.920 for help. But it's a whole other world when people 00:36:18.920 --> 00:36:20.820 are like, OK, I'll come pick your kids up. You 00:36:20.820 --> 00:36:23.079 can go for a shower. OK, here I'm coming over 00:36:23.079 --> 00:36:24.679 to do your laundry for you or I'm going to come 00:36:24.679 --> 00:36:26.420 do the dishes or here I cooked you a meal. And 00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:28.780 then all of a sudden you feel bad, like. I just 00:36:28.780 --> 00:36:30.139 want to talk about it. You don't actually have 00:36:30.139 --> 00:36:31.860 to help me. I'll figure it out myself. It's fine. 00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:34.619 No, no, no. I just had a moment. I don't, no, 00:36:34.679 --> 00:36:36.760 no, no. But it is accepting that help and learning 00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:40.559 that it's okay to accept help. I keep going back 00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:43.599 to the plain analogy that everyone talks about 00:36:43.599 --> 00:36:46.559 where, oh, if you're getting a crash and the 00:36:46.559 --> 00:36:48.179 thing falls down, you have to do yourself first. 00:36:48.280 --> 00:36:50.340 But this is the moment. This right here is a 00:36:50.340 --> 00:36:53.239 real life moment when it matters. You gotta take 00:36:53.239 --> 00:36:55.320 care of yourself first because your kids cannot. 00:36:56.190 --> 00:37:00.110 learn from you if you're sick or if you are feeling 00:37:00.110 --> 00:37:02.429 so overwhelmed that you can't take care of yourself 00:37:02.429 --> 00:37:04.809 so speaking of communities and finding support 00:37:04.809 --> 00:37:07.750 a great way to find that is through other parents 00:37:07.750 --> 00:37:11.530 or in like as a community but how can moms create 00:37:11.530 --> 00:37:13.730 a community or find support from other parents 00:37:13.730 --> 00:37:15.889 while also maintaining healthy boundaries because 00:37:15.889 --> 00:37:19.250 friend moms can also come with our whole other 00:37:19.250 --> 00:37:22.269 world of problems yeah i remember like especially 00:37:22.269 --> 00:37:25.349 like you know facebook is so good at you know 00:37:26.089 --> 00:37:28.010 building communities. There's so many mom groups 00:37:28.010 --> 00:37:31.030 out there. To be honest, I don't really like 00:37:31.030 --> 00:37:33.469 most of the mom groups. Not that I don't like 00:37:33.469 --> 00:37:35.610 the moms in it or anything, but it's just sometimes 00:37:35.610 --> 00:37:38.289 there's a culture of just like a lot of judgment 00:37:38.289 --> 00:37:41.769 or like comparison that I don't appreciate. And 00:37:41.769 --> 00:37:45.550 so you kind of just, yeah, have to find your 00:37:45.550 --> 00:37:49.210 tribe so -and -so like, and it takes time because 00:37:49.210 --> 00:37:51.210 yeah, sometimes you might not click with a mom 00:37:51.210 --> 00:37:54.349 or. Or it might be cliquey, like they already 00:37:54.349 --> 00:37:55.849 have a group and you're kind of trying to like 00:37:55.849 --> 00:37:58.849 get into it. High school all over again. Yeah, 00:37:58.909 --> 00:38:00.530 we're all in high school again. That's exactly 00:38:00.530 --> 00:38:02.389 what it is. It's just like, who are the popular 00:38:02.389 --> 00:38:04.510 kids? And sort of like, what's the popular group? 00:38:04.610 --> 00:38:07.530 But I think in reality, it's really just putting 00:38:07.530 --> 00:38:10.070 yourself out there more and kind of finding out. 00:38:10.699 --> 00:38:13.980 who you can trust and who you can connect with 00:38:13.980 --> 00:38:16.599 because you know ever since COVID everybody's 00:38:16.599 --> 00:38:19.199 kind of in the online realm and it's great because 00:38:19.199 --> 00:38:21.199 you're meeting so many people from all over the 00:38:21.199 --> 00:38:23.920 world or whatnot but I think really literally 00:38:23.920 --> 00:38:25.780 putting yourself out there like leaving your 00:38:25.780 --> 00:38:28.400 house going to the park like even going to the 00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:30.920 park and seeing other parents there like for 00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:33.079 me I'm super awkward like I don't I don't ever 00:38:33.079 --> 00:38:36.659 know how to like talk to people in the park Especially 00:38:36.659 --> 00:38:39.280 like other parents, like I'll only talk to a 00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:41.480 parent if they talk to me first. But it's just 00:38:41.480 --> 00:38:43.800 like sometimes you kind of just need to take 00:38:43.800 --> 00:38:46.039 that chance and you never know who you're going 00:38:46.039 --> 00:38:48.300 to meet. Like even at the mall or the library, 00:38:48.500 --> 00:38:51.159 like there's so many opportunities now to meet 00:38:51.159 --> 00:38:53.500 people. Like there's even, you know, social events 00:38:53.500 --> 00:38:56.260 that you can go to. So, yeah, it's just it's 00:38:56.260 --> 00:38:58.260 really literally just leaving your house and 00:38:58.260 --> 00:39:00.960 getting out there and talking to people again. 00:39:01.719 --> 00:39:04.780 It sounds so simple, but I think most of us are 00:39:04.780 --> 00:39:07.500 so comfortable in our homes. And I have a lot 00:39:07.500 --> 00:39:09.659 of friends that just love to stay at home. And 00:39:09.659 --> 00:39:11.960 that's great. But I think if you do really want 00:39:11.960 --> 00:39:14.800 to build community, it starts in your community. 00:39:14.920 --> 00:39:18.639 You do have to leave your house and like mingle 00:39:18.639 --> 00:39:21.519 and talk to people. And if you do have a hard 00:39:21.519 --> 00:39:23.119 time with that, if you're an introvert or whatnot, 00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:26.260 like maybe ask a friend like to go with you to 00:39:26.260 --> 00:39:29.289 the park or to an event or something. Yes, you 00:39:29.289 --> 00:39:31.710 need a Jamie. My friend calls me a gold retriever 00:39:31.710 --> 00:39:33.170 because it doesn't matter where we are. I can 00:39:33.170 --> 00:39:34.670 make friends and I meet people. And I'm like, 00:39:34.690 --> 00:39:37.429 I was actually at this is a this is a side note 00:39:37.429 --> 00:39:39.710 and just a pick me up story in the middle of 00:39:39.710 --> 00:39:42.409 our conversation. I was at an LCBO once. I don't 00:39:42.409 --> 00:39:45.090 drink a lot. OK, but I do enjoy wine sometimes. 00:39:45.389 --> 00:39:47.570 And there was a lady there and we just started 00:39:47.570 --> 00:39:49.090 chatting. And then I was like, you should come 00:39:49.090 --> 00:39:52.250 over for a drink. And I got back in the car and 00:39:52.250 --> 00:39:54.369 my husband's like, stop inviting random people 00:39:54.369 --> 00:39:55.809 to our house. Like, you don't know these people. 00:39:55.909 --> 00:39:57.369 And I'm like, you're so right. I don't know what 00:39:57.369 --> 00:39:59.340 I'm thinking. she wanted us to drink alone. I 00:39:59.340 --> 00:40:00.920 said, that was a bad idea. We should just drink 00:40:00.920 --> 00:40:03.539 together. But like, you're absolutely right. 00:40:03.599 --> 00:40:07.800 It's hard as introverts for sure to, to get out 00:40:07.800 --> 00:40:09.820 and out of their comfort zone and meet people. 00:40:10.219 --> 00:40:12.820 And you're not always going to be, you're not 00:40:12.820 --> 00:40:14.440 always going to be faced as obnoxious babies 00:40:14.440 --> 00:40:17.480 in your life to wheel you in. But yeah, when 00:40:17.480 --> 00:40:19.420 you, when you meet these people and you make 00:40:19.420 --> 00:40:21.420 those connections, it's, it's remembering that 00:40:21.420 --> 00:40:24.760 a, not everyone's perfect and that. it's okay 00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:27.059 for you to give some of yourself away to this 00:40:27.059 --> 00:40:28.840 community or this support group, but also remember 00:40:28.840 --> 00:40:31.820 to keep some of you for you and hold those boundaries 00:40:31.820 --> 00:40:34.699 and make sure that you're getting some good out 00:40:34.699 --> 00:40:37.079 of it. Like you said, the Facebook groups are 00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:40.000 insane, okay? Some of the things that happen 00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:42.260 there that you just want to be mindful of who 00:40:42.260 --> 00:40:44.679 you're giving your attention to and what conversations 00:40:44.679 --> 00:40:47.059 you're jumping into because some are not worth 00:40:47.059 --> 00:40:49.860 your time. Exactly. Yeah, for sure. And it's 00:40:49.860 --> 00:40:53.599 so easy to like type behind a screen and... And 00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:55.519 maybe if you are an introvert, start online, 00:40:55.679 --> 00:40:58.340 like, you know, join like a yeah, like a Facebook 00:40:58.340 --> 00:41:02.019 group or or something like just to kind of get 00:41:02.019 --> 00:41:05.099 your toes in the water. If you don't feel comfortable 00:41:05.099 --> 00:41:07.219 speaking to people that you don't know. But yeah, 00:41:07.300 --> 00:41:10.519 it really does take stepping out of your comfort 00:41:10.519 --> 00:41:13.300 zone to see what what else is out there, because 00:41:13.300 --> 00:41:16.019 there is so much opportunity to build connection 00:41:16.019 --> 00:41:18.300 with people. It's just, yeah, you do have to 00:41:18.300 --> 00:41:21.340 find that groove or whatever. So they need to 00:41:21.340 --> 00:41:23.719 have like a Tinder for moms, like friend, friend, 00:41:23.880 --> 00:41:27.360 friend. Not really my size. Yeah. And there's 00:41:27.360 --> 00:41:29.739 a thing called Peanut and it's actually for moms. 00:41:29.920 --> 00:41:31.920 It's an app. It's called Peanut. And like you 00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:33.960 can meet moms in your community or like other 00:41:33.960 --> 00:41:36.440 moms. Yeah. I mean, I haven't joined, but my 00:41:36.440 --> 00:41:38.210 friend told me about it. That sounds amazing. 00:41:38.289 --> 00:41:40.530 OK, someone needs to join and then send me the 00:41:40.530 --> 00:41:41.849 details. I want to know if this is something 00:41:41.849 --> 00:41:43.710 I guess I could technically join and figure it 00:41:43.710 --> 00:41:46.389 out. But OK, amazing. OK, two more questions 00:41:46.389 --> 00:41:48.170 for you and then I won't take any more of your 00:41:48.170 --> 00:41:50.730 time. But this is so amazing. First, as you can 00:41:50.730 --> 00:41:53.250 leave moms with one key message about the power 00:41:53.250 --> 00:41:55.489 of presence and self -care or really anything, 00:41:55.789 --> 00:41:58.510 what would it be? The power of presence and self 00:41:58.510 --> 00:42:00.809 -care. I mean, it's going to sound cheesy, but 00:42:00.809 --> 00:42:03.860 like the present moment is all you have. We worry 00:42:03.860 --> 00:42:05.639 about the future, like what's going to happen, 00:42:05.699 --> 00:42:07.420 and then we dwell on the past. But it's just 00:42:07.420 --> 00:42:09.800 like what I'm really trying to practice in my 00:42:09.800 --> 00:42:12.800 own life is really being present, not thinking 00:42:12.800 --> 00:42:15.480 about the to -do list, not worrying about if 00:42:15.480 --> 00:42:18.480 my son is going to fall off that chair, just 00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:21.500 literally like just trying to have fun. Like 00:42:21.500 --> 00:42:25.579 I forgot what it was like to be happy. I can 00:42:25.579 --> 00:42:28.440 just kind of be free and kind of like a child, 00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:31.260 like just feel like you can do anything. but 00:42:31.260 --> 00:42:35.320 really also not feeling guilty about taking time 00:42:35.320 --> 00:42:39.420 for yourself. So yeah, it's just a daily practice 00:42:39.420 --> 00:42:41.940 and I'm still working on it myself, but it's 00:42:41.940 --> 00:42:45.360 just, it's worth the effort to make that time 00:42:45.360 --> 00:42:48.139 for yourself, not because you have to or you 00:42:48.139 --> 00:42:51.070 should, but because you want to. because you 00:42:51.070 --> 00:42:53.289 want to be there for your kids in the way that 00:42:53.289 --> 00:42:56.449 you want to. Recovering from burnout was such 00:42:56.449 --> 00:43:00.650 a tall hill to climb, but it was really trying 00:43:00.650 --> 00:43:03.769 to rediscover what I wanted, what I needed. And 00:43:03.769 --> 00:43:06.989 so when you're present, there is no worry. There 00:43:06.989 --> 00:43:10.829 is no like, oh, I should have done this or what 00:43:10.829 --> 00:43:13.250 do I need to do next? It's really like, how can 00:43:13.250 --> 00:43:17.090 I be in this moment and be at peace with what's 00:43:17.090 --> 00:43:19.300 going on right now? And it's easier said than 00:43:19.300 --> 00:43:22.340 done. But I think being really intentional with 00:43:22.340 --> 00:43:24.980 your time, your energy and who you spend it with 00:43:24.980 --> 00:43:27.380 can make a huge difference in your life. And 00:43:27.380 --> 00:43:30.119 I've seen that with myself. I, you know, I lost 00:43:30.119 --> 00:43:33.000 a few friends. I've gained a few friends. I've 00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:35.780 let go of things that are not worth my energy 00:43:35.780 --> 00:43:38.880 and time. And so it's really realizing what's 00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:41.079 most important in your life. Who do you want 00:43:41.079 --> 00:43:44.619 to spend it with? So, yeah, I think I think that's 00:43:44.619 --> 00:43:46.619 I think that's a great answer. And I don't think 00:43:46.619 --> 00:43:49.329 it was that cheesy at all. Yeah. And even in 00:43:49.329 --> 00:43:51.750 even in yourself, care to be present in that 00:43:51.750 --> 00:43:53.110 moment, because I know it's hard when you're 00:43:53.110 --> 00:43:54.949 taking care of yourself or you're trying to make 00:43:54.949 --> 00:43:56.630 the right choices for you. Then all of a sudden 00:43:56.630 --> 00:43:58.369 you start to feel guilty or your head's like, 00:43:58.449 --> 00:44:00.250 what are my kids doing right now? But it's trying 00:44:00.250 --> 00:44:02.070 to be present in those moments. And you're right. 00:44:02.150 --> 00:44:05.889 It's so it feels so good to have fun again and 00:44:05.889 --> 00:44:08.969 like raw fun, fun that has no expectations, like 00:44:08.969 --> 00:44:11.530 building a tower and just falling down. And today, 00:44:11.809 --> 00:44:13.690 actually in my before and after school program 00:44:13.690 --> 00:44:15.739 and before school. they started playing Stella 00:44:15.739 --> 00:44:18.139 Ella Ola and I stopped everything I was doing 00:44:18.139 --> 00:44:20.380 and I went and I had to play. I was like, this 00:44:20.380 --> 00:44:23.420 is from my childhood. And it just, it felt so 00:44:23.420 --> 00:44:25.579 fun. And I'm like this, this is what life is 00:44:25.579 --> 00:44:27.579 about is these moments. Oh, you're so right. 00:44:27.699 --> 00:44:29.900 My last question, and it's kind of a sum up, 00:44:29.940 --> 00:44:33.940 is how can these wonderful listeners connect 00:44:33.940 --> 00:44:39.139 with you and allow you to take them further into 00:44:39.139 --> 00:44:41.699 this and you introduce them to coaching and stuff. 00:44:41.739 --> 00:44:44.280 Where can they find you at? Yeah, for sure. Thank 00:44:44.280 --> 00:44:46.639 you again for this opportunity. I have a website. 00:44:46.739 --> 00:44:49.659 It's pretty much my name. So it's just analisavacent 00:44:49.659 --> 00:44:53.920 .com. But I'm active on LinkedIn and Instagram 00:44:53.920 --> 00:44:57.800 at analitra underscore awakened. I love your 00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:01.199 Instagram handle. It's so awesome. I was looking 00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:03.340 at it today as I'm working on the podcast stuff 00:45:03.340 --> 00:45:07.429 and I'm like, what a great handle. Annalisa Awaken. 00:45:07.489 --> 00:45:10.309 Sorry, carry on. No, thank you. I really appreciate 00:45:10.309 --> 00:45:12.650 that. You never know like how people feel. So 00:45:12.650 --> 00:45:14.690 I love that. Thank you so much for acknowledging 00:45:14.690 --> 00:45:16.869 that. But yeah, that's where you can find me. 00:45:16.969 --> 00:45:19.650 You'll find like funny content and like really 00:45:19.650 --> 00:45:23.130 soulful content and some sad content. But it's 00:45:23.130 --> 00:45:25.510 all like I'm just I'm just really trying to be 00:45:25.510 --> 00:45:28.150 honest about motherhood. And I'm really not trying 00:45:28.150 --> 00:45:32.030 to like make any moms feel ashamed of what they're 00:45:32.030 --> 00:45:33.849 going through or how they're feeling or what 00:45:33.849 --> 00:45:36.190 they're doing, because I don't think. I don't 00:45:36.190 --> 00:45:39.010 think moms are doing it wrong. I think we're 00:45:39.010 --> 00:45:41.510 just living in a system that doesn't support 00:45:41.510 --> 00:45:44.949 us in how we need to be supported. And so I want 00:45:44.949 --> 00:45:47.829 to be that support that I never got when I was 00:45:47.829 --> 00:45:50.650 kind of down in dumps and like really struggling 00:45:50.650 --> 00:45:54.650 to find peace in myself again. So yeah, that's 00:45:54.650 --> 00:45:57.349 what I hope my platform does. And I think I've 00:45:57.349 --> 00:46:00.250 done a good job so far on it. But yeah. I would 00:46:00.250 --> 00:46:02.469 have to agree. I love your content. So definitely, 00:46:02.510 --> 00:46:05.030 definitely, definitely, definitely go check out 00:46:05.030 --> 00:46:07.989 Annalisa on Instagram, LinkedIn or her website. 00:46:08.210 --> 00:46:17.489 Again, www .annalisavicente .com. I thank you. 00:46:17.510 --> 00:46:21.010 Thank you. Thank you so wholeheartedly so much. 00:46:21.070 --> 00:46:23.230 Annalisa, thanks for being here. I really, really 00:46:23.230 --> 00:46:25.250 appreciate your time. And for those of you who 00:46:25.250 --> 00:46:27.429 don't know, it is actually kind of late. So she 00:46:27.429 --> 00:46:30.760 stayed up for me. Thank you. Of course. No, thank 00:46:30.760 --> 00:46:33.559 you for this opportunity. So blessed to be on 00:46:33.559 --> 00:46:37.559 here and to know you. You're so awesome. I feel 00:46:37.559 --> 00:46:40.079 the same. The feeling is mutual, okay? The feeling 00:46:40.079 --> 00:46:43.739 is mutual. Thank you, listeners, for tuning in. 00:46:44.380 --> 00:46:47.699 Please go check out Annalisa's website. And if 00:46:47.699 --> 00:46:49.860 you liked the episode or you have any comments, 00:46:49.920 --> 00:46:53.559 questions, please like and share. And I will 00:46:53.559 --> 00:47:01.099 see you next time on The Forgotten EC. Thank 00:47:01.099 --> 00:47:03.699 you. Amazing listeners for your support. Don't 00:47:03.699 --> 00:47:05.940 forget to follow me on Instagram at Miss Jamie 00:47:05.940 --> 00:47:08.900 underscore R -E -C -E. Give a star rating and 00:47:08.900 --> 00:47:11.320 leave a review. Have something you want to hear 00:47:11.320 --> 00:47:13.320 about in relation to before and after school 00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:16.260 programs or full day summer camp? DM me or comment. 00:47:16.400 --> 00:47:18.940 Again, thank you so much and happy learning.