WEBVTT 00:00:00.490 --> 00:00:03.750 Hi friend, welcome back to the podcast. My name 00:00:03.750 --> 00:00:08.689 is Kim. I'm a mom to five kiddos ages 16 to 3 00:00:08.689 --> 00:00:12.830 months and if you listen to part one of this 00:00:12.830 --> 00:00:16.690 series You know that my recent pregnancy was 00:00:16.690 --> 00:00:19.670 not the glowy Pinterest ward kind of pregnancy 00:00:19.670 --> 00:00:23.269 that I was hoping to get It was a season of survival 00:00:23.269 --> 00:00:26.410 and it was held together by my amazing midwife 00:00:26.410 --> 00:00:30.390 who understood me and really pushed me through 00:00:30.390 --> 00:00:33.789 and oh she was amazing and it was held together 00:00:33.789 --> 00:00:36.289 by my friends who showed up and I talked about 00:00:36.289 --> 00:00:39.409 them in my last podcast I'm so thankful for them 00:00:39.409 --> 00:00:43.990 and honestly just some determination to keep 00:00:43.990 --> 00:00:47.950 moving forward in today's podcast I want to pull 00:00:47.950 --> 00:00:50.609 back the curtain in a sense on the part that 00:00:50.609 --> 00:00:52.630 I haven't really talked about on here with you 00:00:52.630 --> 00:00:55.649 that is the emotional landscape of our home we 00:00:55.649 --> 00:00:58.280 weren't just a family expecting a baby There 00:00:58.280 --> 00:01:01.979 were so many layers to our story. I was holding 00:01:01.979 --> 00:01:04.819 this pregnancy so tenderly as it was an answer 00:01:04.819 --> 00:01:08.319 to many years of prayer. Every person in our 00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:11.519 home was carrying something different throughout 00:01:11.519 --> 00:01:14.500 this pregnancy. And today is about transparency. 00:01:15.019 --> 00:01:17.780 It's about how loss changes the way you look 00:01:17.780 --> 00:01:21.780 at new life and how to handle the very real fears 00:01:21.780 --> 00:01:24.980 that my kids had whenever they have seen the 00:01:24.980 --> 00:01:27.689 worst happen. you're not going to want to miss 00:01:27.689 --> 00:01:30.670 today's conversation. So settle in, grab your 00:01:30.670 --> 00:01:32.590 clothes basket, we'll fold laundry together, 00:01:32.849 --> 00:01:35.670 get your hot cup of tea or coffee, whatever it 00:01:35.670 --> 00:01:37.750 is you're drinking right now. Matcha, if you 00:01:37.750 --> 00:01:40.049 like matcha, you know who you are out there. 00:01:40.510 --> 00:01:42.829 And join me in this in the next few minutes, 00:01:42.890 --> 00:01:44.769 we're going to have a good conversation together. 00:01:50.849 --> 00:01:53.510 Let's talk about the four letter word that doesn't 00:01:53.510 --> 00:01:57.500 get mentioned a lot in pregnancy. Usually, whenever 00:01:57.500 --> 00:01:59.900 you add a baby to your family, it is filled with 00:01:59.900 --> 00:02:02.640 excitement. You cannot wait to find out what 00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:05.159 you're having. You're excited to see the baby 00:02:05.159 --> 00:02:07.799 on the monitor for the first time, right? Especially 00:02:07.799 --> 00:02:10.159 if it's your first one. I mean, with all of them, 00:02:10.219 --> 00:02:12.199 really. I've just been excited with all of them. 00:02:12.919 --> 00:02:15.400 But excitement is something you think about when 00:02:15.400 --> 00:02:17.840 you think about a pregnancy. And rightfully so, 00:02:18.120 --> 00:02:21.960 adding a new person, adding a new soul to your 00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:25.039 family and a heart is just incredible, an incredible 00:02:25.039 --> 00:02:27.900 gift from God. And the four letter word that 00:02:27.900 --> 00:02:30.780 doesn't usually get put together with pregnancy 00:02:30.780 --> 00:02:34.580 is the word fear. I would like to say that there 00:02:34.580 --> 00:02:38.979 was zero fear in this pregnancy. But friends, 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:42.560 that was not the case. Fear was a loud guest 00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:45.259 and it made itself comfortable in every single 00:02:45.259 --> 00:02:48.930 heart. Loss makes you hyper aware. I think a 00:02:48.930 --> 00:02:51.689 lot of us know that in different ways You've 00:02:51.689 --> 00:02:54.289 maybe lost someone close to you and you know 00:02:54.289 --> 00:02:58.509 how aware you become after that loss It makes 00:02:58.509 --> 00:03:01.389 you realize that things can change so quickly 00:03:01.389 --> 00:03:05.330 For my kids this pregnancy wasn't simply adding 00:03:05.330 --> 00:03:08.870 a baby to the mix What it came down to was they 00:03:08.870 --> 00:03:12.169 were worried about something so simple like safety. 00:03:12.409 --> 00:03:15.620 They were worried about my safety If you're in 00:03:15.620 --> 00:03:19.699 a season where one or many of your kids are walking 00:03:19.699 --> 00:03:24.039 through something so big as fear, friends, what 00:03:24.039 --> 00:03:27.840 a tender season to be in. Everything in me as 00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:31.039 a mama bear wanted to make it better. I wanted 00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:33.560 to hug them and tell them that it would be okay, 00:03:33.800 --> 00:03:36.500 that the birth was going to be beautiful and 00:03:36.500 --> 00:03:39.219 it was all going to be good. But I could not 00:03:39.219 --> 00:03:41.259 look them in the eyes and promise them that because 00:03:41.259 --> 00:03:44.639 I don't hold my days in my hand. It's only God. 00:03:45.060 --> 00:03:48.759 But I could sit with them in the fear. I could 00:03:48.759 --> 00:03:51.740 acknowledge it with them. I could listen to them 00:03:51.740 --> 00:03:54.740 whenever they would express their feelings. And 00:03:54.740 --> 00:03:57.419 then I could pray with them as well. God is such 00:03:57.419 --> 00:04:01.400 a big God. He is not turned away. He is not put 00:04:01.400 --> 00:04:05.199 out by our emotions, by our fears, by something 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:08.280 that can, I mean, control us and take us over 00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:11.699 at times and feel like it's paralyzing. He is 00:04:11.699 --> 00:04:14.639 so much bigger than that. And that was a beautiful 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:18.100 part of this process was sitting with my kids, 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:21.980 taking their fears and walking them through what 00:04:21.980 --> 00:04:24.560 it looked like, submitting them to the Lord, 00:04:25.259 --> 00:04:28.699 going to Him in prayer and saying, Lord, I'm 00:04:28.699 --> 00:04:31.300 feeling this way. I know I was not made to be 00:04:31.300 --> 00:04:35.259 afraid. I know it was not made to sit in fear. 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:37.899 But I am acknowledging that that's where I'm 00:04:37.899 --> 00:04:41.560 at. But I'm also acknowledging that you are much 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:44.170 bigger. And that's the truth I want to claim 00:04:44.170 --> 00:04:47.149 in my life. The amount of times that we quoted 00:04:47.149 --> 00:04:51.389 Joshua 1 .9. Be strong and courageous. Everyone 00:04:51.389 --> 00:04:54.350 knows this verse. Be strong and courageous. Do 00:04:54.350 --> 00:04:57.050 not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with 00:04:57.050 --> 00:05:00.790 you. The long months of my pregnancy, and especially 00:05:00.790 --> 00:05:04.230 the last few months of my pregnancy, was an active 00:05:04.230 --> 00:05:08.509 calling out to our souls. Be strong and courageous. 00:05:09.230 --> 00:05:12.490 What a gift we have as mamas to walk beside our 00:05:12.490 --> 00:05:17.209 children and hold their hand and hold their hearts 00:05:17.209 --> 00:05:20.930 and walk them to the foot of the cross. I know 00:05:20.930 --> 00:05:23.189 sometimes parenting feels like we're doing it 00:05:23.189 --> 00:05:25.370 alone or like we have to figure it out alone. 00:05:25.910 --> 00:05:30.089 I've been there. I know how that feels. But honestly, 00:05:30.550 --> 00:05:34.750 we are never parenting alone and we were never 00:05:34.750 --> 00:05:38.329 made to figure it out on our own. We don't have 00:05:38.329 --> 00:05:41.870 to run from big feelings and emotions like fear 00:05:41.870 --> 00:05:45.209 from our kids and with our kids. We get to walk 00:05:45.209 --> 00:05:49.170 through it with them. Okay, anyway, I got a little 00:05:49.170 --> 00:05:51.949 carried away there. Let's keep going. I wanted 00:05:51.949 --> 00:05:54.850 to answer a question that I do get, I did get 00:05:54.850 --> 00:05:57.629 a lot. And that was, what does it look like to 00:05:57.629 --> 00:06:01.310 bring a newborn baby into the house with a family 00:06:01.310 --> 00:06:05.160 dynamic like ours? Now, if you've been here while 00:06:05.160 --> 00:06:07.439 you know our story, you know what it's like, 00:06:07.620 --> 00:06:09.519 but for those of you who are new, let me give 00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:12.000 you a really quick rundown. Our family is not 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:15.079 super straightforward. Me and my four oldest 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:18.639 kids have walked through loss, the loss of my 00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:22.040 late husband, their dad. And then we walk through 00:06:22.040 --> 00:06:24.819 figuring out life after that for many, many years. 00:06:25.420 --> 00:06:27.980 And then we walk through adding someone to our 00:06:27.980 --> 00:06:30.259 family and having Caleb come into our family. 00:06:30.829 --> 00:06:33.430 him stepping into the role of dad and husband, 00:06:33.910 --> 00:06:37.149 someone with no kid experience and yet was willing 00:06:37.149 --> 00:06:40.629 to take on so much. So for us, adding another 00:06:40.629 --> 00:06:45.970 baby to the mix was so much weightier than when 00:06:45.970 --> 00:06:49.689 I was in my 20s and it was really just straightforward, 00:06:49.870 --> 00:06:52.949 right? So the question was how are you adding 00:06:52.949 --> 00:06:56.529 a newborn into our dynamic and how did we go 00:06:56.529 --> 00:06:59.389 about that? From the very beginning when we started 00:06:59.389 --> 00:07:03.470 talking about adding another child, I knew I 00:07:03.470 --> 00:07:06.509 wanted to walk it out well. What that looked 00:07:06.509 --> 00:07:10.189 like, I wasn't 100 % sure, but I knew I wanted 00:07:10.189 --> 00:07:13.449 to do it well with my older kids. Now, did we 00:07:13.449 --> 00:07:16.550 do it perfectly? Absolutely not. You can ask 00:07:16.550 --> 00:07:19.870 them, but we wanted to do it well. One of the 00:07:19.870 --> 00:07:22.410 ways this played out for us was involving them 00:07:22.410 --> 00:07:25.589 in conversations and keeping the door open to 00:07:25.589 --> 00:07:28.490 the conversation of where they were at, where 00:07:28.490 --> 00:07:31.779 we were at, what was going on below the surface 00:07:31.779 --> 00:07:35.379 and even conversations like the names that we 00:07:35.379 --> 00:07:37.540 were thinking about and they could have input 00:07:37.540 --> 00:07:40.019 in those you know if the majority didn't like 00:07:40.019 --> 00:07:42.339 a name we would all agree and move on to something 00:07:42.339 --> 00:07:45.839 else you know it wasn't about one big talk up 00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:49.259 front and laying everything out and having this 00:07:49.259 --> 00:07:52.699 long conversation with them it really was about 00:07:53.079 --> 00:07:56.660 hundreds of small talks around the dinner table 00:07:56.660 --> 00:07:59.759 in the car rides on walks. Well, I wasn't really 00:07:59.759 --> 00:08:02.259 walking at that time because I really didn't 00:08:02.259 --> 00:08:04.800 have the energy to do anything, but you get what 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:07.759 I'm saying. It was so many small conversations 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:10.819 that we would have with them over little things 00:08:10.819 --> 00:08:14.040 and over big things. We talked about how the 00:08:14.040 --> 00:08:17.620 house would sound once the baby was born and 00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:22.779 how her her crying might affect us and how quiet 00:08:22.779 --> 00:08:26.680 times might affect them and how some things would 00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:29.199 be normal and then other things would have to 00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:32.720 change. We allowed them to express their concerns 00:08:32.720 --> 00:08:36.860 over some of these topics and allowed them the 00:08:36.860 --> 00:08:40.799 space to really bring up some questions and concerns 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:43.789 that they would have. And instead of just shutting 00:08:43.789 --> 00:08:45.730 it down and being like, okay, you just have to 00:08:45.730 --> 00:08:49.250 get on board. This is what it is. And we're gonna 00:08:49.250 --> 00:08:52.330 move on. We sat with them in their questions 00:08:52.330 --> 00:08:56.110 and talked through them. I remember one of my 00:08:56.110 --> 00:09:00.049 kids had a concern that, well, once the baby's 00:09:00.049 --> 00:09:02.610 born, everything's gonna have to be quiet. We 00:09:02.610 --> 00:09:05.870 cannot play in the house. We cannot talk. We 00:09:05.870 --> 00:09:08.649 cannot do our music. We cannot watch movies. 00:09:09.340 --> 00:09:12.299 This was a real concern that they had right because 00:09:12.299 --> 00:09:15.679 babies do sleep a lot and you do have to have 00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:19.360 some kind of quiet a little bit more quiet around 00:09:19.360 --> 00:09:22.500 the house I remember it so vividly of this conversation 00:09:22.500 --> 00:09:26.480 whenever I told him like Yeah, things are gonna 00:09:26.480 --> 00:09:28.299 have to change and yeah, we're gonna have to 00:09:28.299 --> 00:09:31.200 be a little quiet sometimes But for the most 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:34.460 part life can go on as normal and he spun around 00:09:34.460 --> 00:09:37.779 and looked at me like I guess because he was 00:09:37.779 --> 00:09:40.740 able to express that concern and I heard it and 00:09:40.740 --> 00:09:43.179 I just encouraged him that no it doesn't have 00:09:43.179 --> 00:09:46.399 to be this one way. He was encouraged by that. 00:09:46.980 --> 00:09:49.299 So small conversations like those. I remember 00:09:49.299 --> 00:09:52.159 another time when another one of my kids expressed 00:09:52.159 --> 00:09:56.759 the concern that I would be taken up by the new 00:09:56.759 --> 00:10:00.440 babies so much that I would have zero time for 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:03.120 them. Now you have to understand that the age 00:10:03.120 --> 00:10:06.659 gap between Adeline, our newest baby, and the 00:10:06.659 --> 00:10:10.539 older kids is quite quite a gap there. There's 00:10:10.539 --> 00:10:13.620 a 10 -year gap between Adeline and Ellie and 00:10:13.620 --> 00:10:16.440 then it just goes up from there. So these concerns, 00:10:16.659 --> 00:10:18.460 I mean they have bigger concerns than it would 00:10:18.460 --> 00:10:20.840 be like a toddler, right? But anyway they were 00:10:20.840 --> 00:10:24.080 expressing how I would be taken away for and 00:10:24.080 --> 00:10:25.840 I wouldn't be able to show up for them anymore 00:10:25.840 --> 00:10:28.840 and specifically they were like mom, we're not 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:30.539 going to be able to go on coffee dates anymore. 00:10:31.019 --> 00:10:33.460 I stopped him right there and I was like but 00:10:33.460 --> 00:10:36.820 we are so gonna go on coffee dates and we have 00:10:36.820 --> 00:10:40.120 been on coffee dates since she was born. Life 00:10:40.120 --> 00:10:44.259 does change, but having these conversations with 00:10:44.259 --> 00:10:46.679 them up front and letting them express, like 00:10:46.679 --> 00:10:49.100 I said earlier, their fears and their thoughts, 00:10:49.279 --> 00:10:53.340 their concerns really helped set the stage and 00:10:53.340 --> 00:10:56.179 set the tone for whenever she was born. I'll 00:10:56.179 --> 00:10:58.320 be honest with you, it didn't take them away. 00:10:58.460 --> 00:11:01.299 It wasn't like, oh, okay, now we have those concerns. 00:11:01.899 --> 00:11:05.299 are no more it wasn't that way it was they were 00:11:05.299 --> 00:11:07.759 able to express them we were able to walk through 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:11.100 them with with them alongside them and just as 00:11:11.100 --> 00:11:13.419 a parent being able to know where your child 00:11:13.419 --> 00:11:17.059 is at where their heart is at is so huge and 00:11:17.059 --> 00:11:20.480 such a vital point in which you can then speak 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:24.659 into where they are So we had many a conversation, 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:27.820 many small conversations, many big conversations 00:11:27.820 --> 00:11:31.600 with all of our kids, one -on -one and in groups. 00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:35.059 As I stated earlier, we wanted to show up well 00:11:35.059 --> 00:11:38.220 and with a lot of intentionality in this season. 00:11:38.820 --> 00:11:44.100 But because I was out of pocket for a lot of 00:11:44.100 --> 00:11:46.879 that time, if you heard the first podcast, the 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:50.970 last episode, You heard me talk about this and 00:11:50.970 --> 00:11:53.750 I wasn't able to fully show up for my kids, but 00:11:53.750 --> 00:11:55.730 I was still able to show up in these ways and 00:11:55.730 --> 00:11:58.830 in the conversations. And in a big one for us 00:11:58.830 --> 00:12:02.309 was prayer. You guys don't underestimate the 00:12:02.309 --> 00:12:05.669 power of prayer, the power that you bring to 00:12:05.669 --> 00:12:08.690 the table whenever you sit and pray with your 00:12:08.690 --> 00:12:11.129 child, not just over them in your quiet time, 00:12:11.129 --> 00:12:14.340 but when you pray with your child. There was 00:12:14.340 --> 00:12:17.539 so many times whenever they would express a concern 00:12:17.539 --> 00:12:22.440 and I didn't have any words to give them to help 00:12:22.440 --> 00:12:25.080 them feel better, but I could pray with them. 00:12:25.639 --> 00:12:27.440 And so we would sit at the table, we would sit 00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:29.139 in our living room, we would sit in the car, 00:12:29.299 --> 00:12:31.820 whatever we were doing, and we would stop and 00:12:31.820 --> 00:12:36.639 pray and turn those fears into requests before 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:39.580 the Father. I have to share this small thing 00:12:39.580 --> 00:12:41.870 with you. Well, it's not really small. It was 00:12:41.870 --> 00:12:44.389 huge at the time and it still is. It's still 00:12:44.389 --> 00:12:47.250 precious and it is still so vivid in my mind. 00:12:47.870 --> 00:12:51.509 The day I went into labor with Adeline, I'd been 00:12:51.509 --> 00:12:53.769 in labor all day and I had just been going about 00:12:53.769 --> 00:12:55.929 my business. I'd actually met up for coffee with 00:12:55.929 --> 00:12:58.649 a friend and I was working through contractions 00:12:58.649 --> 00:13:01.990 and then went to the grocery store, came home, 00:13:02.129 --> 00:13:04.210 started cooking dinner with my mom. It was just 00:13:04.210 --> 00:13:07.309 a normal, beautiful kind of day. It was honestly 00:13:07.309 --> 00:13:09.799 the way I had prayed for it to happen. to just 00:13:09.799 --> 00:13:13.500 be a normal day and go into labor just um progressively 00:13:13.500 --> 00:13:15.840 as the day went on and that's how it played out 00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:17.980 anyway not the part of the story i wanted to 00:13:17.980 --> 00:13:21.159 tell you but as the day went on i could see um 00:13:21.159 --> 00:13:23.799 some of the fears come up stronger and stronger 00:13:23.799 --> 00:13:26.360 and some of my kids we were getting ready and 00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:28.220 i was going to send the kids off with my parents 00:13:28.220 --> 00:13:31.419 and we had about 10 minutes of whirlwind where 00:13:31.419 --> 00:13:34.519 some of my kids had started changing the sheets 00:13:34.519 --> 00:13:37.080 on the bed my husband was inflating the pool 00:13:37.080 --> 00:13:39.720 it was just kind of chaotic and once everything 00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:43.980 got done in this like 10 minute span we all somehow 00:13:43.980 --> 00:13:47.480 ended up gathered in in my bedroom and i looked 00:13:47.480 --> 00:13:50.059 around the room and i could see so much fear 00:13:50.059 --> 00:13:52.740 on their faces and i didn't know how this was 00:13:52.740 --> 00:13:56.159 going to play out you you never really know we 00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:58.740 were having a home birth there was so much up 00:13:58.740 --> 00:14:01.340 in the air i mean it's just it is a natural thing 00:14:01.340 --> 00:14:04.320 childbirth but it's also like a big thing it's 00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:07.440 I feel like every time a child is born and they 00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:11.220 are healthy that is a miracle and when the mom 00:14:11.220 --> 00:14:15.159 has survived that is a miracle and that is to 00:14:15.159 --> 00:14:18.320 be celebrated so I was looking around and I could 00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:21.200 feel the weight of of their hearts right there 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:23.620 so I was working through contractions and you 00:14:23.620 --> 00:14:26.940 know what we did we stopped and we prayed and 00:14:26.940 --> 00:14:31.460 I have a portion of this on video and it is absolutely 00:14:31.460 --> 00:14:35.220 beautiful There were all kind of fears playing 00:14:35.220 --> 00:14:38.419 into this moment for everyone. It looked a little 00:14:38.419 --> 00:14:41.580 different and yet we all sat before the Lord, 00:14:42.120 --> 00:14:45.259 gave him our fears, and then moved on to the 00:14:45.259 --> 00:14:49.460 next thing. That moment to me was sacred. That 00:14:49.460 --> 00:14:51.740 moment to me was precious and one that I will 00:14:51.740 --> 00:14:54.779 hang on to for the rest of my life. And I guess 00:14:54.779 --> 00:14:57.600 I share that because a lesson I learned in this 00:14:57.600 --> 00:15:01.220 pregnancy was you do not have to be perfect. 00:15:01.789 --> 00:15:04.549 to be present. Like, I knew that in the back 00:15:04.549 --> 00:15:07.950 of my head, but to live in a season where you 00:15:07.950 --> 00:15:11.769 cannot show up, where getting off of the couch 00:15:11.769 --> 00:15:14.330 or getting out of bed is really, really hard, 00:15:14.690 --> 00:15:17.730 it becomes more tangible, this thought of, you 00:15:17.730 --> 00:15:21.399 do not have to be perfect to be present. Intense 00:15:21.399 --> 00:15:24.720 contractions every three minutes is not a moment 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:27.720 where you can fully show up fully fully present 00:15:27.720 --> 00:15:32.100 And yet the Lord sustained and he helped me show 00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:35.919 up present in that moment for my kids I think 00:15:35.919 --> 00:15:38.820 sometimes as moms we feel like we have to have 00:15:38.820 --> 00:15:42.720 all of the answers to be a good mom But walking 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:45.940 with your kids through the hard stuff like grief 00:15:45.940 --> 00:15:50.240 or a really hard pregnancy isn't about having 00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:53.799 the answers, it's about intentionality and showing 00:15:53.799 --> 00:15:56.840 up even when you are not a hundred percent. It's 00:15:56.840 --> 00:16:00.259 about teamwork with your spouse and full dependency 00:16:00.259 --> 00:16:03.960 on the Lord as should be every season of motherhood 00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:07.159 for us. If you're in a hard season right now, 00:16:07.480 --> 00:16:10.879 please hear me. You are doing better than you 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:14.750 think. I mean that. Your kids don't need a mom 00:16:14.750 --> 00:16:18.009 who has it all figured out or who has all of 00:16:18.009 --> 00:16:21.169 the answers or who doesn't crack under pressure 00:16:21.169 --> 00:16:25.049 They need a mom who is willing to be honest and 00:16:25.049 --> 00:16:29.230 to say I Need as just as much help as you do 00:16:29.230 --> 00:16:32.269 right now They need a mom who is willing to sit 00:16:32.269 --> 00:16:36.649 and listen to the hard and the not pretty and 00:16:36.649 --> 00:16:42.259 the Chaos the messy they need you Before I let 00:16:42.259 --> 00:16:44.419 you go today, I just want to take a second to 00:16:44.419 --> 00:16:47.139 talk directly to the mom who is listening to 00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:49.519 this while she is maybe hiding in the bathroom, 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:53.600 hiding in the closet, eating a snack or sitting 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:56.360 in the carpool lane or nursing your baby in the 00:16:56.360 --> 00:16:59.700 dark. If your heart feels heavy today because 00:16:59.700 --> 00:17:01.960 you're trying to hold space for your kids grief 00:17:01.960 --> 00:17:06.019 while carrying your own, I want you to know you 00:17:06.019 --> 00:17:10.369 are doing a brave thing. It is not easy to be 00:17:10.369 --> 00:17:13.289 the anchor when the water around us is choppy. 00:17:13.769 --> 00:17:17.690 I know this firsthand. But you are staying steady 00:17:17.690 --> 00:17:20.890 for them and that matters more than you know. 00:17:21.390 --> 00:17:24.690 But also hear this. You do not have to hold it 00:17:24.690 --> 00:17:28.569 all together all the time. Take it to the Lord. 00:17:29.029 --> 00:17:32.779 He cares. My hope is that by being transparent 00:17:32.779 --> 00:17:36.880 with you on this podcast about my fears and how 00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:39.779 we've walked through them as a family that you 00:17:39.779 --> 00:17:43.940 feel less alone in yours. So mama, if this episode 00:17:43.940 --> 00:17:46.799 hit home for you, if it felt like a breath of 00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:49.839 fresh air that you needed to hear today, Would 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:53.019 you then this to one friend, one friend? We all 00:17:53.019 --> 00:17:55.380 know one mom who is carrying a lot right now 00:17:55.380 --> 00:17:58.059 and sometimes just knowing that someone else 00:17:58.059 --> 00:18:01.240 gets it is enough to help us get through the 00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:04.180 next hour. Thank you so much for being a part 00:18:04.180 --> 00:18:06.660 of this community and for letting me share my 00:18:06.660 --> 00:18:09.319 story with you. I'll talk to you in the next 00:18:09.319 --> 00:18:09.720 episode.