WEBVTT 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.439 Welcome to the Light Keepers podcast. I'm Clayton 00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:05.580 Vandiver, your Light Keeper, with a show dedicated 00:00:05.580 --> 00:00:08.480 to everyone who wants to get the most quality 00:00:08.480 --> 00:00:11.679 out of life that they can. My co -host is always 00:00:11.679 --> 00:00:14.339 Charlene, our very own licensed clinical social 00:00:14.339 --> 00:00:17.579 worker certified in the state of Florida. And 00:00:17.579 --> 00:00:20.539 she joins our conversation this week about the 00:00:20.539 --> 00:00:24.280 warning signs that may lead to your very own 00:00:24.280 --> 00:00:28.260 silver alert situation. We'll have that and so 00:00:28.260 --> 00:00:31.500 much more on this edition. of the Light Keepers 00:00:31.500 --> 00:01:01.909 Podcast. Before we start, please leave your questions 00:01:01.909 --> 00:01:04.150 or comments below. We love to hear from you. 00:01:04.189 --> 00:01:06.650 Questions this week will be answered during our 00:01:06.650 --> 00:01:08.810 next show that appears online every Wednesday 00:01:08.810 --> 00:01:12.010 evening at 7 p .m. Eastern. The Light Keepers 00:01:12.010 --> 00:01:14.489 podcast is an exclusive production of A Guiding 00:01:14.489 --> 00:01:16.890 Light, and we'll tell you more about A Guiding 00:01:16.890 --> 00:01:19.250 Light at the end of the podcast. We don't have 00:01:19.250 --> 00:01:21.409 much time, so let's get right into this week's 00:01:21.409 --> 00:01:24.670 conversation about those warning signs that may 00:01:24.670 --> 00:01:30.099 lead to a silver alert situation. some experience 00:01:30.099 --> 00:01:34.280 we've both had with silver alerts and what they 00:01:34.280 --> 00:01:38.340 are so we'll skip past that for right now but 00:01:38.340 --> 00:01:40.659 the warning signs that may give you a little 00:01:40.659 --> 00:01:45.519 bit of heads up that a memory issue is it's a 00:01:45.519 --> 00:01:47.739 really gentle slope you sometimes don't even 00:01:47.739 --> 00:01:50.280 notice that and that's the whole point of the 00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:54.019 show today is talking about how sometimes we 00:01:54.019 --> 00:01:56.579 can have a loved one that does have some memory 00:01:56.579 --> 00:02:02.239 deficits that they may be very successfully concealing. 00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:06.420 One of the interesting things about individuals 00:02:06.420 --> 00:02:13.099 with a memory issue, think early stages dementia, 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:17.599 Alzheimer's, things like that, they develop crutches 00:02:17.599 --> 00:02:20.280 because what happens is this confusion comes 00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:23.379 on so gradually that they're able to develop 00:02:23.379 --> 00:02:28.319 coping mechanisms that While it's helping them 00:02:28.319 --> 00:02:32.819 to cope, it's also concealing the problem. It's 00:02:32.819 --> 00:02:35.599 concealing the illness and it's concealing the 00:02:35.599 --> 00:02:38.539 symptoms. And I'll give you a wonderful example. 00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:44.780 We both had a family member that we knew something 00:02:44.780 --> 00:02:48.759 was wrong. Something wasn't adding up. But every 00:02:48.759 --> 00:02:51.419 time we took them to the doctor, they were able 00:02:51.419 --> 00:02:54.099 to tell what day of the week it was, what date 00:02:54.099 --> 00:02:59.060 it was, the month. Everything. And then we realized 00:02:59.060 --> 00:03:02.020 that they were getting it off of the newspaper 00:03:02.020 --> 00:03:05.680 they were having delivered every day. When they 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:08.379 missed the payment on the newspaper delivery, 00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:10.419 all of a sudden they didn't know what day of 00:03:10.419 --> 00:03:12.280 the week it was. They didn't know what month 00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:18.080 it was. And it took that crutch out from underneath 00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:21.719 them. It gave away a situation that we suspected. 00:03:22.750 --> 00:03:27.009 but really didn't have any hard and fast knowledge 00:03:27.009 --> 00:03:30.229 of what was going on. It, again, comes on very 00:03:30.229 --> 00:03:34.870 gently and very gradually. And as I talk to family 00:03:34.870 --> 00:03:38.750 members who do have loved ones or a loved one 00:03:38.750 --> 00:03:43.789 with a memory issue, one of the key things that 00:03:43.789 --> 00:03:47.409 keeps coming up is how there were warning signs 00:03:47.409 --> 00:03:51.099 along the way that they missed. they did come 00:03:51.099 --> 00:03:53.419 up so gradually that their loved one was able 00:03:53.419 --> 00:03:55.759 to develop those crutches, those coping skills. 00:03:56.300 --> 00:04:00.680 And a lot of times these crutches, these coping 00:04:00.680 --> 00:04:04.319 skills can pull the wool over the family's eyes 00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:08.500 and even the doctor. That's true. That's true. 00:04:08.539 --> 00:04:11.780 So very often, at least in that particular case 00:04:11.780 --> 00:04:16.610 we're discussing, many close friends... members 00:04:16.610 --> 00:04:19.750 of the church who had known this person for decades, 00:04:20.149 --> 00:04:24.509 known the family for decades, honestly thought 00:04:24.509 --> 00:04:27.709 that we were crazy, suspecting that there might 00:04:27.709 --> 00:04:30.889 be a problem. But they knew there was a problem, 00:04:30.990 --> 00:04:32.970 and they kept looking at me at the same time 00:04:32.970 --> 00:04:36.310 saying, why aren't you doing something? And it's 00:04:36.310 --> 00:04:40.029 a very uncomfortable situation that, hey, there's 00:04:40.029 --> 00:04:44.819 something going on. We all know it. What do you 00:04:44.819 --> 00:04:47.920 do? Where do you turn? Right. This is one of 00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:50.600 the reasons we're reaching out now with information 00:04:50.600 --> 00:04:53.480 to the World Wide Web through the Light Keepers 00:04:53.480 --> 00:04:55.920 podcast because we've gained a lot of light. 00:04:55.980 --> 00:04:58.879 Light is known in many cultures and over many 00:04:58.879 --> 00:05:03.699 centuries. It's been sort of an analogy to knowledge, 00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:07.939 to the ability to understand things. So as a 00:05:07.939 --> 00:05:10.480 light keeper, believe me, this is a topic I've 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:13.740 got a little light on. Yeah. I didn't want to 00:05:13.740 --> 00:05:16.459 be illuminated in this way. I'll be honest with 00:05:16.459 --> 00:05:18.959 you, it was a painful illumination. Well, and 00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:22.480 it can be. But the important thing is we, through 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:25.879 our experiences, can help other people to recognize 00:05:25.879 --> 00:05:30.399 and maybe handle things a little differently, 00:05:30.420 --> 00:05:34.000 a little better. Help others avoid some of the 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:37.800 pitfalls that we fell into. I certainly hope 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:42.850 so. A little bit more understanding and a little 00:05:42.850 --> 00:05:46.250 bit more knowledge on the part of those friends 00:05:46.250 --> 00:05:50.230 and family members who really had no idea what 00:05:50.230 --> 00:05:53.149 was happening on a daily basis. Those were the 00:05:53.149 --> 00:05:55.290 people that I wish had been watching the Light 00:05:55.290 --> 00:05:59.110 Keepers podcast all along. But again, it's so 00:05:59.110 --> 00:06:01.509 gentle, it's so gradual. It can be. And the coping 00:06:01.509 --> 00:06:06.170 skills that people develop are so good sometimes 00:06:06.170 --> 00:06:10.009 that... Well, for instance, I know someone else 00:06:10.009 --> 00:06:14.110 who was actually in a relationship with someone 00:06:14.110 --> 00:06:18.589 because they were using that person as a crutch, 00:06:18.649 --> 00:06:22.250 if I recall. Yes. That actually that person, 00:06:22.310 --> 00:06:26.410 who had perfectly sound mental faculties, was 00:06:26.410 --> 00:06:32.189 sort of leading them around and allowing them 00:06:32.189 --> 00:06:37.389 to cope in so many ways. And the sad thing is, 00:06:37.410 --> 00:06:40.529 is neither individual recognized their role in 00:06:40.529 --> 00:06:42.709 the relationship. They thought that it was a 00:06:42.709 --> 00:06:46.730 mutually affectionate relationship. But the truth 00:06:46.730 --> 00:06:50.329 of the matter is, one of them was a crutch for 00:06:50.329 --> 00:06:54.129 the other one. Yeah. And the important thing 00:06:54.129 --> 00:06:57.250 here is to help people understand the warning 00:06:57.250 --> 00:07:00.250 signs, the things to look out for. What should 00:07:00.250 --> 00:07:08.110 we be looking for? You might notice is a slip 00:07:08.110 --> 00:07:14.889 in personal hygiene. Okay. People who have dementia 00:07:14.889 --> 00:07:19.029 and Alzheimer's and other memory related issues. 00:07:19.930 --> 00:07:23.350 They forget to brush their teeth. They forget 00:07:23.350 --> 00:07:25.850 to take the shower. They forget to change their 00:07:25.850 --> 00:07:30.029 clothes. They forget to do laundry. And so they 00:07:30.029 --> 00:07:35.550 may be wearing clothes that are soiled. Or inside 00:07:35.550 --> 00:07:40.230 out. Or inside out. Or maybe even something that's 00:07:40.230 --> 00:07:43.269 also commonly seen as the wrong season. If you 00:07:43.269 --> 00:07:45.750 have someone who's wearing long sleeves in the 00:07:45.750 --> 00:07:48.730 middle of June, or conversely, short sleeves 00:07:48.730 --> 00:07:52.629 in the middle of January, this is an indication 00:07:52.629 --> 00:07:56.990 that they may not be in the right place. And 00:07:56.990 --> 00:07:59.910 we do acknowledge for those listeners and viewers 00:07:59.910 --> 00:08:03.819 in Australia, in South America, We understand 00:08:03.819 --> 00:08:08.560 you've got it all backwards. We're compassionate 00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:11.240 and we're understanding. And a little jealous. 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:13.939 And a little jealous, quite honestly, yeah. I 00:08:13.939 --> 00:08:16.540 mean, who wouldn't want to go to the beach and 00:08:16.540 --> 00:08:19.759 have a barbecue on Christmas Day? It happens. 00:08:20.100 --> 00:08:24.220 Absolutely. But the personal hygiene is a good 00:08:24.220 --> 00:08:28.360 first indicator. Another good indicator is when 00:08:28.360 --> 00:08:31.120 you have someone who's... frequently getting 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:33.320 dates mixed up now i'm going to be the first 00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:35.580 one to admit well it happens to all of us sometimes 00:08:35.580 --> 00:08:39.179 it happens to all of us everyone who's busy who 00:08:39.179 --> 00:08:43.639 has a really uh you know active life and a lot 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:47.080 going on absolutely he's going to get and you 00:08:47.080 --> 00:08:49.899 say oh that's just you know i'm getting older 00:08:49.899 --> 00:08:52.139 it happens to all of us no no it isn't natural 00:08:52.139 --> 00:08:55.200 for everyone but when you have someone who consistently 00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:59.639 repeatedly is getting ready for sunday church 00:08:59.639 --> 00:09:03.720 on a thursday or they're calling you going hey 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:06.019 we had dinner plans tonight and the dinner plans 00:09:06.019 --> 00:09:09.929 were two days ago or two days in the future Or 00:09:09.929 --> 00:09:12.509 they make the dinner a couple of nights before 00:09:12.509 --> 00:09:15.470 you're actually scheduled to have it and they're 00:09:15.470 --> 00:09:17.210 really bent out of shape because you didn't show 00:09:17.210 --> 00:09:20.610 up. Right. That happens. So when you have that 00:09:20.610 --> 00:09:25.090 happening repeatedly, consistently, that's a 00:09:25.090 --> 00:09:28.149 huge red flag. It is. Now that brings up another 00:09:28.149 --> 00:09:32.879 issue too is you do have the risk. when you have 00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:36.779 someone with memory issues their diet can also 00:09:36.779 --> 00:09:39.480 be significantly affected and their health but 00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:41.740 not in the ways that most people think you know 00:09:41.740 --> 00:09:44.279 nutritionally that can bring on some of those 00:09:44.279 --> 00:09:47.740 nutritionally can actually correct some of those 00:09:47.740 --> 00:09:50.960 so you know take some of that away very true 00:09:50.960 --> 00:09:54.539 but what can happen for people who have memory 00:09:54.539 --> 00:09:58.299 issues that live alone is they may forget to 00:09:58.299 --> 00:10:03.980 eat They may forget that it's dinner time and 00:10:03.980 --> 00:10:06.480 they're still in their mind. They just got through 00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:08.820 with breakfast. Never thought of that. But more 00:10:08.820 --> 00:10:11.019 importantly is you can also have a situation 00:10:11.019 --> 00:10:14.019 where they prepare a meal and then they leave 00:10:14.019 --> 00:10:16.080 it sitting on the stove and they forget to eat 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.440 it. And then hours later, thinking they just 00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:21.639 cooked it, they go back to eat it. Now it's sat 00:10:21.639 --> 00:10:24.259 out and now they're sick because they've accidentally 00:10:24.259 --> 00:10:27.179 poisoned themselves. Yeah, it doesn't take all 00:10:27.179 --> 00:10:29.840 that long at room temperature for something that 00:10:29.840 --> 00:10:33.840 has sat on the stove and has been turned off, 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:37.639 if they remembered to turn it off, and has just 00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:39.539 sat there at room temperature for many, many 00:10:39.539 --> 00:10:43.360 hours, Lord forbid, possibly even until the next 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:47.460 day. Yeah. And then... Oh, I just fixed that 00:10:47.460 --> 00:10:49.340 because they remember that they just made it 00:10:49.340 --> 00:10:52.360 and they go ahead and cook it. So if you have 00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:55.740 someone who's frequently experiencing symptoms 00:10:55.740 --> 00:10:59.139 of food poisoning, that would be a red flag. 00:10:59.259 --> 00:11:00.779 Again, consistency is... What kind of things? 00:11:00.779 --> 00:11:04.879 Bad stomach distress? Gastrointestinal distress. 00:11:05.059 --> 00:11:08.480 Okay. not feeling well. Something to maybe mention 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:10.860 to the primary care doctor when you take them 00:11:10.860 --> 00:11:14.539 in about their stomach issues is mention, you 00:11:14.539 --> 00:11:16.840 know, they may not have been eating the food 00:11:16.840 --> 00:11:20.220 that's as good or as fresh. Maybe it's been in 00:11:20.220 --> 00:11:22.899 the refrigerator and it's gone way past its expiration 00:11:22.899 --> 00:11:25.679 date. And the kitchen can be a great place to 00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:28.840 find a lot of red flags because not just what 00:11:28.840 --> 00:11:31.769 you cook. But look at the expiration dates on 00:11:31.769 --> 00:11:33.629 things in the refrigerator and in the cabinet. 00:11:34.210 --> 00:11:37.470 Because people who do have memory issues, they're 00:11:37.470 --> 00:11:39.809 not going to be able to keep up with those expiration 00:11:39.809 --> 00:11:42.350 dates. And they're not going to be able to keep 00:11:42.350 --> 00:11:44.909 up with, oh, the milk's going to go bad next 00:11:44.909 --> 00:11:47.509 week, so I need to replace it. Right. They're 00:11:47.509 --> 00:11:49.370 not going to be able to manage that. Or when 00:11:49.370 --> 00:11:52.350 they do go shopping and they buy things that 00:11:52.350 --> 00:11:54.649 they just bought yesterday and didn't remember. 00:11:54.710 --> 00:11:58.529 So if you look in the refrigerator and you find... 00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:05.899 20 or 30 sticks of butter, you find enough milk 00:12:05.899 --> 00:12:10.360 to feed an entire nursery of children. No, that's 00:12:10.360 --> 00:12:12.779 probably not appropriate for a single person 00:12:12.779 --> 00:12:15.360 living on their own. That's a red flag. Why do 00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:18.720 you have so much? Then the defensive mechanisms 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:21.659 come out. And that's the other thing is, you 00:12:21.659 --> 00:12:24.039 know, recognizing the red flags, that's only 00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:27.799 step one. Step two. How do you approach the topic? 00:12:27.799 --> 00:12:31.279 Oh, my gosh. The individual that you're talking 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:34.360 to is going to get defensive. It's going to happen. 00:12:34.840 --> 00:12:38.379 And like is not. It's someone that you have always 00:12:38.379 --> 00:12:41.120 your entire life. As long as you have lived, 00:12:41.299 --> 00:12:43.419 it has been a relationship where they have been 00:12:43.419 --> 00:12:48.049 the authority figure. And now they're not. Well, 00:12:48.070 --> 00:12:51.309 and there's a lot that can be going into this. 00:12:51.309 --> 00:12:54.110 That's a huge dynamic to deal with. Well, not 00:12:54.110 --> 00:12:56.450 just the change in dynamic, but you also have 00:12:56.450 --> 00:12:59.850 someone who deep down knows that something is 00:12:59.850 --> 00:13:05.909 wrong. And so they're afraid. Memory care issues 00:13:05.909 --> 00:13:12.590 are a great thing of putting people back into 00:13:12.590 --> 00:13:16.960 a primal response. Just as an example, pointed 00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:19.059 out a few weeks ago, we were talking about my 00:13:19.059 --> 00:13:23.519 uncle up in the Carolinas, who I discovered by 00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:28.840 editing a news story fed by CBS and editing it, 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:32.200 that my cousin was on camera being interviewed 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:34.820 because his dad had gone missing, my uncle, and 00:13:34.820 --> 00:13:38.919 I recognized that. And it's important to note 00:13:38.919 --> 00:13:41.700 that no one really was suspecting that he was 00:13:41.700 --> 00:13:43.320 going to get in the car to go to church that 00:13:43.320 --> 00:13:45.600 day and then never arrive. Well, the day before, 00:13:45.700 --> 00:13:49.100 actually. His church was a mile away. He had 00:13:49.100 --> 00:13:53.379 driven there thousands of times. He wound up 00:13:53.379 --> 00:13:56.879 two states away. The whole time thinking consciously, 00:13:57.139 --> 00:14:00.000 he knew he'd done something wrong. He knew something 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:03.600 was wrong, like we were just saying. He wound 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:06.840 up two states away, sleeping in his car periodically 00:14:06.840 --> 00:14:09.440 to rest, just pulling off on the side of the 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:12.980 road. But he kept thinking, and thankfully he 00:14:12.980 --> 00:14:15.200 was found safe and he could report this to us, 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:18.480 but he kept thinking, if I stop and ask for directions 00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:22.120 and admit that I'm lost, because nothing looks 00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:25.379 familiar to me, they'll take my driver's license 00:14:25.379 --> 00:14:30.379 away. There will be a bad repercussion for what 00:14:30.379 --> 00:14:33.419 I've done. So he didn't. He just kept driving, 00:14:33.539 --> 00:14:35.620 thinking something will eventually start looking 00:14:35.620 --> 00:14:37.820 familiar. But he didn't recognize that he was 00:14:37.820 --> 00:14:39.799 two states away when they finally found him. 00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:45.159 And the challenge there is when they feel deep 00:14:45.159 --> 00:14:48.399 down that there is something wrong, that loss 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:52.500 of independence is a very real fear. And it's 00:14:52.500 --> 00:14:54.860 compounded if you have someone who doesn't have 00:14:54.860 --> 00:14:57.299 a support system, who doesn't have that network 00:14:57.299 --> 00:15:01.100 in place. So one of the best things that you 00:15:01.100 --> 00:15:04.399 can do is approach it at an angle of safety. 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:08.740 Okay. Reassure them, hey, mom, I've been noticing 00:15:08.740 --> 00:15:12.120 some things that concern me, but I just want 00:15:12.120 --> 00:15:14.500 to make sure you're safe, okay? You're not doing 00:15:14.500 --> 00:15:16.340 anything wrong. I just want to make sure that 00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:18.799 you're safe. So can we maybe just get it checked 00:15:18.799 --> 00:15:21.139 out? It's probably nothing. It's probably nothing, 00:15:21.320 --> 00:15:23.879 but I'd feel better if we knew. And, you know, 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:26.139 depending on your relationship with that relative, 00:15:28.459 --> 00:15:32.399 feel, sort of, because of my experience and because 00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:35.799 of the experience my cousin had with my uncle, 00:15:35.899 --> 00:15:42.399 his dad. It might be easier when women are compassionate 00:15:42.399 --> 00:15:45.559 and have a close relationship with that mom or 00:15:45.559 --> 00:15:51.259 dad or parent. Us guys don't have that. Men don't 00:15:51.259 --> 00:15:54.720 like to express those emotions, express those 00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:57.559 feelings, to go compassionately saying, Gee, 00:15:57.720 --> 00:16:01.019 I know that we might be having some little... 00:16:01.019 --> 00:16:03.659 We're not going to couch it like that. A guy's 00:16:03.659 --> 00:16:05.480 going to walk up and say, Hey, Dad, you better 00:16:05.480 --> 00:16:08.919 give me car keys. You're having a problem. And 00:16:08.919 --> 00:16:11.700 it won't go well, let me tell you. It will not 00:16:11.700 --> 00:16:14.860 go well. That is a wonderful start to a disaster. 00:16:16.779 --> 00:16:19.679 Because we're not all social workers. We're not 00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:22.539 all compassionate. And we're not all that close 00:16:22.539 --> 00:16:25.220 to that relative, but we want... to be concerned 00:16:25.220 --> 00:16:28.600 for their safety. Right. That relationship may 00:16:28.600 --> 00:16:30.720 have degraded because of the memory issues. We 00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:33.039 don't know. The important thing is to approach 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:35.519 it from the angle of safety. Reassure them that 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:41.299 that is your top priority, that there is no goal 00:16:41.299 --> 00:16:44.120 of taking anything away from them. You just want 00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:47.159 to make sure they're safe. Reassure them that, 00:16:47.179 --> 00:16:50.860 hey, if there is something going on, They have 00:16:50.860 --> 00:16:53.539 medications for that now. Absolutely. And the 00:16:53.539 --> 00:16:56.659 sooner it's caught, the better. Dangle that carrot 00:16:56.659 --> 00:17:00.559 of hope. And you know, there's a very popular, 00:17:00.659 --> 00:17:05.099 very popular dramatic series that we watch frequently 00:17:05.099 --> 00:17:09.920 that dealt with this same issue themselves. And 00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:13.400 in the final moments of it, the grandfather that 00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:16.259 they were trying to talk the car keys away from 00:17:16.259 --> 00:17:19.299 admitted that he couldn't give them to him. he 00:17:19.299 --> 00:17:22.880 could not give up those car keys because he'd 00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:25.940 already given the car and the car keys to his 00:17:25.940 --> 00:17:31.319 daughter -in -law who had their car was damaged 00:17:31.319 --> 00:17:33.559 and they needed a new car he'd already given 00:17:33.559 --> 00:17:40.079 it away because he said he ran into a portion 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:42.259 of the garage backing it out to give it to them. 00:17:42.339 --> 00:17:46.960 So driving is another area where red flags, I 00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:49.000 mean, if you have someone who's got a lot of, 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:52.160 you know, minor fender benders bumping into things, 00:17:52.220 --> 00:17:56.319 but also if they've taken the same route to the 00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:58.880 same place every day for the last 20 years and 00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.039 now all of a sudden that 15 -minute drive is 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:04.900 taking them 30, it's not because of road construction. 00:18:05.829 --> 00:18:08.950 Even though they may claim that. Or taking 45 00:18:08.950 --> 00:18:11.849 or an hour. Or perhaps you see them slowly drive 00:18:11.849 --> 00:18:16.230 past your house, but they never stop. Yeah. And 00:18:16.230 --> 00:18:19.890 they call you 45 minutes later saying that they 00:18:19.890 --> 00:18:21.970 didn't feel that well, had a little headache, 00:18:22.029 --> 00:18:24.650 and just decided not to come over that day. Never 00:18:24.650 --> 00:18:26.309 knowing that you watched them drive past. These 00:18:26.309 --> 00:18:28.910 are huge red flags. Huge red flags. And I'm speaking 00:18:28.910 --> 00:18:32.789 from experience. We had that happen. Yep. So... 00:18:33.099 --> 00:18:35.720 Believe me, it's a tough, tough conversation. 00:18:35.779 --> 00:18:39.559 We truly applaud that network that wrote that 00:18:39.559 --> 00:18:43.000 dramatic series and included that very serious 00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:47.869 issue into its script. Because it's a hard conversation 00:18:47.869 --> 00:18:51.170 to have. It is. No one wants to diminish their 00:18:51.170 --> 00:18:53.549 freedom. No one wants to have car keys taken. 00:18:53.630 --> 00:18:55.829 And the funny thing is, is as difficult as that 00:18:55.829 --> 00:18:58.289 conversation was, it was held with someone who 00:18:58.289 --> 00:19:01.529 still had 100 % use of their mental faculties. 00:19:01.529 --> 00:19:04.970 And there's the point. They had just diminished 00:19:04.970 --> 00:19:10.089 in their, I guess, physical. uh movement a tiny 00:19:10.089 --> 00:19:13.289 bit vision maybe maybe vision maybe hearing maybe 00:19:13.289 --> 00:19:15.789 just spatial relationship but they didn't have 00:19:15.789 --> 00:19:19.009 the altered but they didn't have the altered 00:19:19.009 --> 00:19:23.450 exactly the memory issues so you combine that 00:19:23.450 --> 00:19:25.849 into everything else and you have the potential 00:19:26.680 --> 00:19:29.220 for a silver alert. Leave some comments at the 00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:32.000 bottom of the screen. Leave your comments, your 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:35.180 questions, because I know we've all experienced 00:19:35.180 --> 00:19:37.799 this. It's a tough thing. It's a tough conversation 00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:40.519 to have. And we certainly want to share that 00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:43.549 with you. and give you an opportunity to weigh 00:19:43.549 --> 00:19:46.509 in we'll talk about this again sometimes and 00:19:46.509 --> 00:19:50.130 perhaps bring in some folks who may deal with 00:19:50.130 --> 00:19:52.789 memory issues on a very regular basis yeah and 00:19:52.789 --> 00:19:54.710 you know i'd be interested in hearing if anybody 00:19:54.710 --> 00:19:57.529 out there has encountered this and they've successfully 00:19:57.529 --> 00:20:00.640 handled it with their loved one Write to us. 00:20:00.660 --> 00:20:02.619 Tell us how you did it so that we can share that 00:20:02.619 --> 00:20:04.980 with others that might help them too. Exactly. 00:20:05.500 --> 00:20:08.839 Exactly. Of course, it's all a very highly personal 00:20:08.839 --> 00:20:12.319 choice and no conversation that we have on the 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:14.460 Light Keepers podcast should ever take the place 00:20:14.460 --> 00:20:17.319 of your own medical care team or other professional 00:20:17.319 --> 00:20:21.019 advisor who should always be consulted by you 00:20:21.019 --> 00:20:24.089 on your specific situational needs. And it's 00:20:24.089 --> 00:20:26.049 always good to be willing to talk about quality 00:20:26.049 --> 00:20:28.750 of life because every single one of us will face 00:20:28.750 --> 00:20:32.609 some of these issues someday, either not prepared 00:20:32.609 --> 00:20:36.230 at all or very well prepared indeed from joining 00:20:36.230 --> 00:20:38.990 us right here on the Light Keepers podcast. 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We sincerely hope you will join 00:21:21.920 --> 00:21:24.039 our conversation in coming weeks and add your 00:21:24.039 --> 00:21:26.670 questions and comments below. Speaking of that, 00:21:26.769 --> 00:21:29.450 take a moment right now, hit the like and subscribe 00:21:29.450 --> 00:21:32.349 buttons, that's free, and turn on that notify 00:21:32.349 --> 00:21:35.789 bell so you'll catch every single episode. I'm 00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:38.589 Clayton Vandiver, your Light Keeper. We'll see 00:21:38.589 --> 00:21:39.289 you next time.