1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,640 Welcome to the Lightkeepers Podcast. 2 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:12,260 I'm Clayton Vandiver, your lightkeeper, and this show is dedicated to everyone who wants 3 00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:16,060 to get the very most out of life that they can. 4 00:00:16,060 --> 00:00:19,060 With me on this edition is someone very special to all of us. 5 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,980 Charlene is a licensed clinical social worker certified in the state of Florida who has 6 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:29,000 brought us some vital information that you need to know about end of life planning and 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:33,600 important resources you want to know about that can help you get the very most out of 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,160 every remaining day. 9 00:00:35,160 --> 00:01:02,160 We'll be talking about that and much more on this edition of the Lightkeepers Podcast. 10 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:13,560 Before we start, I'd like to invite you to please leave your questions and comments down 11 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,560 below. 12 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,440 We love to hear from you. 13 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,320 Questions this week will be answered during our next show that appears online every Wednesday 14 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:23,440 evening around 7 p.m. Eastern. 15 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,840 The Lightkeepers Podcast is an exclusive production of A Guiding Light, Inc. 16 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:32,100 We'll tell you more about A Guiding Light at the end of the podcast, but we don't have 17 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:38,080 much time, so let's get right into this week's topics, which are end of life events, planning 18 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:43,520 for the best life, medical teams and how they work, preparing for a hospital stay, the five 19 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:51,240 wishes, and we may even touch on why end of life conversations are so taboo. 20 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,380 So welcome to the show, Charlene. 21 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:56,440 Thank you so much for joining us. 22 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:57,440 Thank you for having me. 23 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,800 Well, tell me a little bit about what a social worker is and what you do. 24 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:06,720 So as you said, I am a licensed clinical social worker for the state of Florida. 25 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:12,160 I hold a master's degree in social work with a specialty in clinical counseling. 26 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:16,200 I also hold a master's in hospice and palliative care. 27 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:22,520 I've spent over a decade working in the hospital, in the ICU, in the trauma department and in 28 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:27,080 hospice, so this is a topic I'm very familiar with. 29 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,080 Outstanding. 30 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:33,280 Well, let me ask you, what exactly is an end of life event and why do we need to plan for 31 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:34,280 it? 32 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,680 So an end of life event is not what a lot of people think it is. 33 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:44,480 A lot of people think that an end of life event is someone dying, like the moment of 34 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:45,720 death. 35 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:51,040 An end of life event encompasses a lot of things leading up to that. 36 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:56,020 I like to think of an end of life event kind of like the beginning of life event. 37 00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:58,060 Death is a lot like birth. 38 00:02:58,060 --> 00:02:59,360 We plan for a birth. 39 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,040 We prepare for a birth. 40 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,920 There are things that we need to know about a birth. 41 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,400 Death is no different. 42 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,960 I understand. 43 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:12,680 So a terminal diagnosis, end of life planning, these are very scary things to think about. 44 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:13,680 Absolutely. 45 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:18,560 We concentrate our energy more on life and living and don't really think about or focus 46 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,680 on planning for the end times. 47 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:27,040 Why is end of life such a taboo subject in our culture and are we just so busy living 48 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,760 and thinking about it or planning how we want to manage our own decisions will somehow make 49 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,460 it all happen sooner? 50 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:38,160 I think a lot of people are afraid that if they talk about it, it's going to speak it 51 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,160 into being. 52 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:40,160 Okay. 53 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,860 And I think some people have a hard time imagining not being here. 54 00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:50,000 So it's difficult to talk about because it's difficult to envision. 55 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,400 There's also a pretty healthy dose of denial in there. 56 00:03:54,400 --> 00:04:05,320 I heard someone very comically say that denial is not just a river that flows through Egypt. 57 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,760 And unfortunately, it's true. 58 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,720 A lot of people have denial when it comes to end of life, but it is going to happen 59 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,760 and not talking about it is not going to keep it from happening. 60 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:19,000 So far not talking about it hasn't saved anyone that I know. 61 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:24,800 And I don't think then that we're living such busy lives that talking about it or planning 62 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:30,340 how we want to manage our own decisions will somehow make it suddenly happen. 63 00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:36,880 Why is it important to plan how you want things to be done if you should become hospitalized? 64 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,060 There are a lot of reasons to plan for it. 65 00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:46,120 First and foremost, if you are in a situation where you cannot make your own decisions, 66 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:53,480 maybe you're unconscious, maybe you're temporarily confused for whatever reason, if you can't 67 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,960 make your own decisions, who is going to know what kind of care you want? 68 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:03,880 And doctors are going to do what they feel is best for you, but that may not necessarily 69 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,160 be the care that you want. 70 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,860 Having those documents in place, you're speaking for yourself in a time when you're not going 71 00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:12,640 to be able to. 72 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:16,680 But all those medical professionals, the doctors, the specialists, the social workers, don't 73 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,040 they have the same goals in mind? 74 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,440 And can you be sure that they have your goals in mind? 75 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:30,840 So doctors, hospitals, social workers, they all have one goal in mind. 76 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:34,900 The doctors in the hospitals, they're focused on keeping you alive for as long as possible 77 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,960 because that's what they've been trained to do. 78 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:43,060 The social worker will do what they can to advocate for you, but they have to know what 79 00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:44,360 you want. 80 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:50,420 If they don't know what you want, then they're going to try to find family that might. 81 00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:56,040 And therein lies another reason why it's important to have that planning in place. 82 00:05:56,040 --> 00:06:01,880 Because if you maybe don't want your family making those decisions, legally that's who 83 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,960 the hospital is going to go to. 84 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:04,960 Wow. 85 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:11,200 Well, I've had some members of our audience ask me a few questions before today's show. 86 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,840 They were asking about the Five Wishes, Five Wishes Directives. 87 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,000 What are those? 88 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,960 So the Five Wishes is a document that's legally binding in most of the United States. 89 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:28,580 And it's an advanced care planning document, an advanced directive, which is another nice 90 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:32,400 way of saying it's a document that outlines the type of care you would want if you were 91 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,000 to become seriously ill. 92 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,000 And it's very simple to complete. 93 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,600 It's laid out in a very simple format. 94 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:45,720 And it asks just a few questions about the type of care that you would want in situations 95 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,680 where you might not be able to speak for yourself. 96 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:49,680 Okay. 97 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:58,400 Well, if you have, let's say, a memory disorder or Alzheimer's, dementia, will that impact 98 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,760 those plans once they're in place? 99 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,200 It can. 100 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:11,080 It can because, first of all, once someone is diagnosed with a memory disorder or a cognitive 101 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:16,140 deficit disorder and they have been determined by their doctor to not be able to make their 102 00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:20,340 own decisions, they can no longer complete those documents. 103 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,620 They can, but they would not be legally binding. 104 00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,520 They would not be valid. 105 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:30,680 So the only way to make sure that their wishes are followed is to have those documents completed 106 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:31,680 beforehand. 107 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:36,920 Well, how should family members be involved in these plans? 108 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:40,880 Family members should absolutely be involved for a multitude of reasons. 109 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:46,040 First of all, it's important for your family to know what you want because they're most 110 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:51,040 likely going to be the ones contacted by your medical team when you're in need. 111 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,260 The other reason why it's important for your family to know what you want is because by 112 00:07:55,260 --> 00:08:01,040 letting them know you're taking away the risk for potential conflict down the line, there's 113 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:06,900 nothing worse than when you have multiple children and they don't agree on the kind 114 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:09,600 of care that mom or dad should get. 115 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,600 Ah. 116 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:15,320 Well, we often think of, you know, after all of these plans are concluded, we think of 117 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:21,220 funeral homes taking care of most of the arrangements and plans from that point on. 118 00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:24,720 That can be a subject that takes us in a lot of directions. 119 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:29,840 And maybe we should dedicate a whole show to that, save it for later. 120 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:35,080 But is being an organ donor something that might interfere with those wishes at the end 121 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,680 or somehow with the hospital make things more complicated? 122 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,000 Yes, it can. 123 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,480 Yes, it can. 124 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,760 First of all, I am fully in support of organ donations. 125 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,600 There are a lot of people on the transplant list that need those organs. 126 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,600 Absolutely. 127 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:57,260 But if you have someone whose wishes are to not be kept alive on life support and they 128 00:08:57,260 --> 00:09:05,000 are a registered organ donor, then what's going to happen is it takes time to set up 129 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,200 that whole process. 130 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,240 It takes time to find a recipient. 131 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,440 It takes time to put the medical team together. 132 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,040 And that can take weeks. 133 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,680 It can take days. 134 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:23,240 Point is, is until that is put together, that person is going to be kept alive on life support. 135 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:28,440 That sounds like a topic we could probably do an entire program on as well. 136 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,600 There's a lot of information there that people might not know. 137 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,600 This is true. 138 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:38,800 Well, before we go, tell me, is there anything at all in the subject of end of life events 139 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,760 that we can look forward to? 140 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,640 That is there anything uplifting, anything positive that we can leave our audience with 141 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:50,120 that can give some hope to this subject and that it should not be such a big taboo like 142 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,600 so many think it is? 143 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,600 Absolutely. 144 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:59,600 So life happens in the moments and sometimes it's easy to forget that until you start thinking 145 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,360 about the time when those moments are behind you. 146 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,840 That is wisdom to live by. 147 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:12,320 And that's exactly what this program is all about is helping our audience get the most 148 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:17,880 out of each day and live each day exactly the way that they want to. 149 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:23,080 Because only by planning for the end can you make sure you get there exactly under the 150 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,600 terms that you've set down. 151 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:30,760 Well, thank you so much for being here with us today and bringing this important information 152 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,760 to us. 153 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:36,560 I hope that you'll be able to join us in these upcoming shows because so much of this needs 154 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:39,560 to be expanded on and talked about more. 155 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:43,980 It's not all sadness and depressing to talk about end of life events because every single 156 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:51,880 one of us will face them and either not prepared at all or very well prepared indeed from joining 157 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:57,380 us here on the Lightkeepers podcast each and every week. 158 00:10:57,380 --> 00:11:01,960 We hope you found some interesting information that was helpful on this edition of Lightkeepers 159 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,420 podcast. 160 00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:05,700 Please leave your questions or comments below. 161 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,800 We love to hear from you. 162 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:12,120 Questions this week will be answered during our next show that appears online every Wednesday 163 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,600 evening around 7 p.m. Eastern. 164 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:20,400 The Lightkeepers podcast is an exclusive production of Animation Studios and is brought to you 165 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:29,160 by a Guiding Light, a 501c3 nonprofit organization dedicated to education and information that 166 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:33,760 allows informed preparation for end of life event decisions. 167 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:38,000 The organization is committed to training professionals who will help you find the best 168 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:44,240 information and options to meet your planning needs that are available in your area so you 169 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:50,240 can be aware of your choices, confident in your decisions and at peace that you've made 170 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:54,920 the best decisions to live life your way. 171 00:11:54,920 --> 00:12:00,000 For more information on a Guiding Light, please visit the website at aguidinglight.org or 172 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:05,320 to make a tax deductible contribution to help those less fortunate find the information 173 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,860 and resources that they need. 174 00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:13,240 Please visit the donate page on the website where you'll find tax information and the 175 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:17,840 address to send your check that is also on the screen right below me. 176 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:22,360 We're so grateful for your support and sincerely hope you'll join us in the coming weeks as 177 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:28,260 we'll talk about organ donors and hospitals, funeral homes and your plans, the gap between 178 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:35,960 legal jargon and medical care, metabolized grief, ingesting grief, normalizing loss, 179 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:42,840 hospice, not just for the last few days or hours, medical plans and paperwork, and your 180 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,960 questions and comments at the beginning of each episode. 181 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,640 We love to hear from you. 182 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaking of that, hit the like and subscribe buttons and turn on that notify bell so you 183 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,560 won't miss a single episode of the Light Keepers Podcast. 184 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:59,440 I'm Clayton Vandiver, your light keeper. 185 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:18,160 We'll see you then.