WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.620 This episode is sponsored by Transcend, a veteran 00:00:02.620 --> 00:00:04.960 -owned and operated performance optimization 00:00:04.960 --> 00:00:08.039 company that I introduced recently as a sponsor 00:00:08.039 --> 00:00:10.820 on this show. Well, since then I have actually 00:00:10.820 --> 00:00:13.080 been using my products and I have had incredible 00:00:13.080 --> 00:00:15.939 success. There was initial blood work that was 00:00:15.939 --> 00:00:19.039 extremely detailed and based on that they offered 00:00:19.039 --> 00:00:23.559 supplementation. So I began taking DHEA. bpc 00:00:23.559 --> 00:00:26.539 157 for inflammation based on the fact that i've 00:00:26.539 --> 00:00:28.859 been a stuntman a martial artist and a firefighter 00:00:28.859 --> 00:00:31.980 my whole life lots of aches and pains dihexa 00:00:31.980 --> 00:00:34.759 to help cognition after multiple punches to the 00:00:34.759 --> 00:00:37.820 head and shift work and peptides four months 00:00:37.820 --> 00:00:40.119 later they did a detailed blood work again and 00:00:40.119 --> 00:00:43.140 i was actually able to taper off two of the peptides 00:00:43.140 --> 00:00:45.640 because my body had responded so well to just 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:48.079 one of them that it was optimized at that point 00:00:48.570 --> 00:00:51.890 So I cannot speak highly enough of the immense 00:00:51.890 --> 00:00:54.390 range of supplementation that they offer, whether 00:00:54.390 --> 00:00:57.409 it's male health, female health, peptides to 00:00:57.409 --> 00:00:59.429 boost your own testosterone, which I would argue 00:00:59.429 --> 00:01:02.429 is needed by a lot of the fire service, or whether 00:01:02.429 --> 00:01:04.569 it's exogenous testosterone needed, especially 00:01:04.569 --> 00:01:08.019 after TBIs or advanced age. Now, as I mentioned 00:01:08.019 --> 00:01:10.400 before, the other side of this company is an 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:12.879 altruistic arm called the Transcend Foundation, 00:01:13.420 --> 00:01:15.980 which is putting veterans and first responders 00:01:15.980 --> 00:01:19.099 through some of their protocols free of charge. 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:22.079 Now, Transcend are also offering you, the audience, 00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:25.299 10 % off their protocols. And you can find that 00:01:25.299 --> 00:01:28.040 on jamesgearing .com under the Products tab. 00:01:28.359 --> 00:01:30.840 And if you want to hear more about Transcend 00:01:30.840 --> 00:01:34.560 and their story, listen to episode 808 with the 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:38.950 founder, Ernie Colling. or go to transcendcompany 00:01:38.950 --> 00:01:43.150 .com. Welcome to the Behind the Shield podcast. 00:01:43.329 --> 00:01:45.230 As always, my name is James Geering, and this 00:01:45.230 --> 00:01:47.209 week it is my absolute honor to welcome back 00:01:47.209 --> 00:01:50.549 onto the show former law enforcement veteran, 00:01:50.849 --> 00:01:54.530 SWAT team member, and gang unit member, Mark 00:01:54.530 --> 00:01:58.200 Kuhl. Now, if you missed my first conversation 00:01:58.200 --> 00:02:01.840 with Mark, it was episode 630, and that was when 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:05.180 he was still working for his department. Mark 00:02:05.180 --> 00:02:07.900 has since retired this year, and if you thought 00:02:07.900 --> 00:02:11.439 his last conversation was raw, then prepare yourself, 00:02:11.580 --> 00:02:14.560 because someone who's able to take the uniform 00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:18.159 off and truly advocate for their profession is 00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:22.120 an extremely needed and important voice. So we 00:02:22.120 --> 00:02:25.210 discuss a host of topics. from the recruitment 00:02:25.210 --> 00:02:28.169 crisis in the first responder community, the 00:02:28.169 --> 00:02:31.050 importance of strength and conditioning and combatives 00:02:31.050 --> 00:02:34.069 in law enforcement, the deployment of the National 00:02:34.069 --> 00:02:38.509 Guard, what we're seeing with ICE, his perspective 00:02:38.509 --> 00:02:43.569 on Gaza, the importance of moral courage, cowardice 00:02:43.569 --> 00:02:46.949 in leadership, and so much more. Now, before 00:02:46.949 --> 00:02:49.389 we get to this incredible conversation, as I 00:02:49.389 --> 00:02:52.909 say every week, please just take a moment. Go 00:02:52.909 --> 00:02:55.569 to whichever app you listen to this on, subscribe 00:02:55.569 --> 00:02:59.490 to the show, leave feedback and leave a rating. 00:03:00.030 --> 00:03:03.449 Every single five -star rating truly does elevate 00:03:03.449 --> 00:03:06.210 this podcast, therefore making it easier for 00:03:06.210 --> 00:03:10.030 others to find. And this is a free library of 00:03:10.030 --> 00:03:14.710 well over 1 ,100 episodes now. So all I ask in 00:03:14.710 --> 00:03:17.990 return is that you help share these incredible 00:03:17.990 --> 00:03:20.909 men and women's stories so I can get them to 00:03:20.909 --> 00:03:24.009 every single person on planet Earth who needs 00:03:24.009 --> 00:03:27.990 to hear them. So with that being said, I welcome 00:03:27.990 --> 00:03:52.330 back onto the show Mark Kuhl. Enjoy. Well, Mark, 00:03:52.409 --> 00:03:55.330 I want to start by saying, firstly, welcome back 00:03:55.330 --> 00:03:58.330 onto the show. It's funny if we Google your name 00:03:58.330 --> 00:03:59.849 in the Behind the Shield, it doesn't come up 00:03:59.849 --> 00:04:01.629 because last time you were still working, so 00:04:01.629 --> 00:04:04.870 it was under tactical. So I want to welcome you 00:04:04.870 --> 00:04:07.629 back with your own name this time onto the Behind 00:04:07.629 --> 00:04:11.530 the Shield podcast. Thank you. Yeah, I can use 00:04:11.530 --> 00:04:15.689 my name now. All done. So for people listening, 00:04:15.870 --> 00:04:19.079 this is going to do a recap. Of the roles that 00:04:19.079 --> 00:04:21.000 you played in law enforcement, the last, you 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:23.339 know, your full career. And I'd love to kind 00:04:23.339 --> 00:04:26.420 of transition to your transition. Let's use that 00:04:26.420 --> 00:04:33.500 word twice in a sentence. I did 25 years. I started 00:04:33.500 --> 00:04:35.379 out in Uniform Patrol. I did Uniform Patrol for 00:04:35.379 --> 00:04:40.519 13 years. But I found myself really attached 00:04:40.519 --> 00:04:42.939 to community policing. So that was kind of where 00:04:42.939 --> 00:04:50.759 where I went. I am like I used to fight against 00:04:50.759 --> 00:04:54.819 it and I don't anymore. I was unusual in law 00:04:54.819 --> 00:04:57.240 enforcement because I started off believing in 00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:59.680 empathy, compassion and love with a physical 00:04:59.680 --> 00:05:03.720 skill set to back those things up. And what I 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:08.939 found was. That that in and of itself helped 00:05:08.939 --> 00:05:12.399 me. I never hated the job. I never hated society. 00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:15.399 I didn't blame anyone for how they looked at 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:18.300 police. Part of that was my upbringing, which 00:05:18.300 --> 00:05:22.839 we went over in the last podcast. But it never 00:05:22.839 --> 00:05:25.779 made me hate the people I was supposed to protect. 00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:29.060 It never made me hate victims. It never made 00:05:29.060 --> 00:05:33.379 me hate any criminals. My personal view on it 00:05:33.379 --> 00:05:37.220 was I have never seen, I've never fought evil. 00:05:37.339 --> 00:05:41.980 I fight human beings who commit evil deeds. So 00:05:41.980 --> 00:05:44.379 I didn't look at anyone as inherently bad or 00:05:44.379 --> 00:05:46.939 inherently good. I took it for what it was. So 00:05:46.939 --> 00:05:50.139 I never really wanted to lead uniform patrol 00:05:50.139 --> 00:05:54.300 where a lot of people, the goal in law enforcement 00:05:54.300 --> 00:05:55.920 is to get out of there and get to a specialty 00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:01.899 unit as quick as you can. And I struggled a lot 00:06:01.899 --> 00:06:06.420 because of how I was. I would get a lot of numbers 00:06:06.420 --> 00:06:09.199 in a neighborhood to begin with, numbers meaning 00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:12.389 arrests, and then it would kind of. Well, which 00:06:12.389 --> 00:06:15.949 in my career and in law enforcement, that's supposedly 00:06:15.949 --> 00:06:20.430 the goal that you you get these arrests and then 00:06:20.430 --> 00:06:22.410 you can put a neighborhood that was in distress 00:06:22.410 --> 00:06:24.829 into maintenance phase. So the arrests lower. 00:06:25.350 --> 00:06:28.930 So I always thought that was the goal. And turns 00:06:28.930 --> 00:06:31.170 out that's not always the goal. They want the 00:06:31.170 --> 00:06:34.149 numbers. They want the stats. What wound up happening 00:06:34.149 --> 00:06:38.790 was in that 13 years, I really became good at. 00:06:40.819 --> 00:06:44.000 gathering what i called my little army so i always 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:46.800 and i i i would always find the good because 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:48.800 they'll point out the bad always find the good 00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:51.399 there is far more good than bad in any neighborhood 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:54.660 and what i started to find was a lot of the neighborhoods 00:06:54.660 --> 00:06:58.300 that i was in uh were were ganged up and that 00:06:58.300 --> 00:07:00.620 was predominantly where the problem was so then 00:07:00.620 --> 00:07:03.540 i started going after gangs arresting gang members 00:07:03.540 --> 00:07:06.040 and then i wanted to go to the gang unit we had 00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:11.980 stood one up and we had a really violent a really 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:16.319 violent period in about 2011, which is also when 00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:21.220 I went on the SWAT team. But there was like seven 00:07:21.220 --> 00:07:25.279 murders between three cities and they put me 00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:27.740 on a task force with the gang unit and I loved 00:07:27.740 --> 00:07:31.100 it. And we wound up making a lot of arrests, 00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:34.180 taking a lot of guns. So my name kind of got 00:07:34.180 --> 00:07:39.160 put out there. However, One of the best compliments 00:07:39.160 --> 00:07:41.519 I ever received was they didn't want to put me 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:44.980 on the gang unit because I was an informal leader 00:07:44.980 --> 00:07:50.240 who did not always support the goals and standards 00:07:50.240 --> 00:07:52.300 of the police department, which I take that as 00:07:52.300 --> 00:07:57.379 a badge of honor. So I had to apply for the gang 00:07:57.379 --> 00:08:00.990 unit three times. And that's that in and of itself 00:08:00.990 --> 00:08:02.990 is very rare because people like get butthurt 00:08:02.990 --> 00:08:05.129 and then they go to another unit. Or like I said, 00:08:05.170 --> 00:08:06.569 they just want to get out of uniform patrol. 00:08:06.709 --> 00:08:08.589 All I wanted was the gang unit. I never minded 00:08:08.589 --> 00:08:12.970 uniform patrol. And within that span, I also 00:08:12.970 --> 00:08:17.089 became we were on a dedicated bike unit for a 00:08:17.089 --> 00:08:20.569 year. And I loved being on bike. A lot of officers 00:08:20.569 --> 00:08:22.870 like crap on the bikes and community policing. 00:08:22.930 --> 00:08:25.410 And those are like the Punisher skull type people. 00:08:25.850 --> 00:08:29.910 And I was never that. Being on the bike unit, 00:08:30.110 --> 00:08:33.190 I wind up, that bike unit was four of us. We 00:08:33.190 --> 00:08:35.970 controlled a beat that was very dangerous at 00:08:35.970 --> 00:08:38.970 the time. There was an apartment complex that 00:08:38.970 --> 00:08:42.049 was constantly shot up with, they had AK -47s. 00:08:42.049 --> 00:08:44.330 It was connected to New York. It was 9 Trey. 00:08:45.529 --> 00:08:47.870 So we wound up decreasing violent crime in that 00:08:47.870 --> 00:08:53.070 area by 85 % by their own metrics, which they 00:08:53.070 --> 00:08:57.299 were very angry. They were happy. And the guy 00:08:57.299 --> 00:09:00.340 that was in charge of the unit actually used 00:09:00.340 --> 00:09:03.299 it to become a major in the department. And as 00:09:03.299 --> 00:09:07.240 soon as he left, the bike unit got tanked. And 00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:11.720 then shortly thereafter, I got put on that task 00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:13.379 force. And then I eventually went to the gang 00:09:13.379 --> 00:09:18.019 unit in 2014. And that's where I stayed for until 00:09:18.019 --> 00:09:22.960 my career ended on in January of 2025. And within 00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:27.429 the gang unit, then. I always had, you, you are 00:09:27.429 --> 00:09:32.490 big on mentorship. I know that. And nobody ever 00:09:32.490 --> 00:09:35.610 does it alone. And I couldn't have, I couldn't 00:09:35.610 --> 00:09:39.330 have done what I did without the few uppers that 00:09:39.330 --> 00:09:43.350 understood what I was and what I brought to the 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:46.009 table. And then the few uppers that wanted to 00:09:46.009 --> 00:09:49.289 use me for, for what I could, could give them. 00:09:49.980 --> 00:09:52.940 And whatever, that is what it is. So when I went 00:09:52.940 --> 00:09:54.580 to the gang unit, then all of a sudden they wanted 00:09:54.580 --> 00:09:56.899 to wanted me to start recruiting. They wanted 00:09:56.899 --> 00:10:00.720 me to work with Intel. I did a couple of long 00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:03.600 term, like large investigations with involving 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:08.879 gangs and partnering with the feds. Which I got 00:10:08.879 --> 00:10:12.500 kicked out of the FBI building so that we can 00:10:12.500 --> 00:10:19.190 go over that later. And we should. Yeah. So within 00:10:19.190 --> 00:10:21.549 that scope of things, then I started training 00:10:21.549 --> 00:10:26.029 at the academy and then I was a combatives instructor. 00:10:26.330 --> 00:10:29.029 I really love that. I totally revamped the program, 00:10:29.149 --> 00:10:34.049 re -bought jiu -jitsu in. I partnered with surrounding 00:10:34.049 --> 00:10:36.649 gyms. We got Adopt -A -Cop started with Mitch. 00:10:37.269 --> 00:10:39.509 So that was training officers because that's 00:10:39.509 --> 00:10:41.629 really the problem in law enforcement is we are 00:10:41.629 --> 00:10:45.279 not very good in the physical realm. And we're 00:10:45.279 --> 00:10:50.360 big on slogans and not so big on actions. And 00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:55.399 then the last three years was I was almost exclusively 00:10:55.399 --> 00:10:57.740 doing recruiting. I was going to military bases 00:10:57.740 --> 00:11:00.899 because during the defund movement and all that. 00:11:02.570 --> 00:11:06.129 The uppers decided they didn't want to be militarized 00:11:06.129 --> 00:11:08.509 and and we shouldn't be looking for that. It 00:11:08.509 --> 00:11:10.529 was the most ridiculous thing ever. And so recruiting 00:11:10.529 --> 00:11:12.450 started slipping and then they sent me to military 00:11:12.450 --> 00:11:14.590 bases and our recruiting kept coming back up. 00:11:15.929 --> 00:11:19.629 And then I started a prep class for aspiring 00:11:19.629 --> 00:11:23.710 officers and they were getting prior to that, 00:11:23.769 --> 00:11:27.830 they were getting to 15 to 20 recruit like recruits 00:11:27.830 --> 00:11:30.740 in a recruit class. When I took over the program, 00:11:30.940 --> 00:11:34.759 it was back up to 30, 40, 50 viable candidates 00:11:34.759 --> 00:11:38.120 for our recruiting. And we were able to bolster 00:11:38.120 --> 00:11:44.399 our numbers. And then as soon as I left, they 00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:48.659 dismantled all of that. And then they lowered 00:11:48.659 --> 00:11:52.360 the standards, unfortunately, because I was big 00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:54.840 on if I'm going to do this, they're going to 00:11:54.840 --> 00:11:57.539 complete the physical tasks to get into the academy. 00:11:57.679 --> 00:12:00.299 I need to watch them. I want to see, can they 00:12:00.299 --> 00:12:05.059 get over a wall? And we had a major, I crap you 00:12:05.059 --> 00:12:09.259 not, we had a scientifically viable test. You 00:12:09.259 --> 00:12:11.399 couldn't get sued or anything like that. So one 00:12:11.399 --> 00:12:13.799 of the last things I did was implement, because 00:12:13.799 --> 00:12:17.799 I was a TSAC guy in NSCA, implement that test. 00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:21.340 It was five. I wanted a shuttle run, but they 00:12:21.340 --> 00:12:23.440 left a mile and a half. But it was five events 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:26.799 that you had to complete. Well, we were getting 00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:30.259 enough. You just had to run the test like every 00:12:30.259 --> 00:12:32.860 weekend. Well, officers being officers, they 00:12:32.860 --> 00:12:35.960 started complaining. Well, can't we just do it 00:12:35.960 --> 00:12:37.820 once a month? I was like, no. I was like, we 00:12:37.820 --> 00:12:40.100 got to get as many people as we can. And I say, 00:12:40.139 --> 00:12:41.399 then I want to get them into the prep class. 00:12:41.500 --> 00:12:44.559 I want them to assimilate to our style. So by 00:12:44.559 --> 00:12:46.480 the time they set foot on that grinder, they're 00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:49.299 ready to rock. I say, they need to believe in 00:12:49.299 --> 00:12:52.259 this. They need to believe in us. So they start 00:12:52.259 --> 00:12:54.620 complaining and they go up above me, which. happened 00:12:54.620 --> 00:12:57.659 throughout my career and a major comes and he 00:12:57.659 --> 00:13:02.039 comes with these standards. I crap you not. As 00:13:02.039 --> 00:13:06.379 a male, you had to complete 11 pushups. And as 00:13:06.379 --> 00:13:10.559 a female, you had to complete four pushups. You 00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:13.240 didn't have to go over the wall. I think the 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:17.620 300 meter sprint was like at a minute in 15 seconds. 00:13:17.820 --> 00:13:20.720 And I looked at him, I was like, where did you 00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:23.559 get these numbers? I said, how did you do this? 00:13:24.250 --> 00:13:28.029 Oh, well, I just figured those were better numbers 00:13:28.029 --> 00:13:30.690 than what we had. I said, the numbers we had 00:13:30.690 --> 00:13:33.169 actually came from a test from LawFit and all 00:13:33.169 --> 00:13:35.649 these people. I said, they're defendable in court. 00:13:36.090 --> 00:13:39.809 I said, so we've already gone through the expense 00:13:39.809 --> 00:13:42.509 of the city attorney saying, yeah, well, we can 00:13:42.509 --> 00:13:45.149 defend these numbers. You're just pulling numbers 00:13:45.149 --> 00:13:47.889 out of your ass. And he's like, yeah, but I think 00:13:47.889 --> 00:13:49.889 we'll get more people. And I said, but you won't 00:13:49.889 --> 00:13:52.309 get the people we want. And then you're going 00:13:52.309 --> 00:13:55.299 to, the people that. like can physically complete, 00:13:55.500 --> 00:13:57.519 you're going to anger them. Cause they're going 00:13:57.519 --> 00:13:59.519 to be like, this dude just did 11 pushups. I 00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:03.580 did 50 pushups. Why is he here? And he just didn't 00:14:03.580 --> 00:14:06.320 get it. And I, I begged him. I was like, listen, 00:14:06.460 --> 00:14:09.759 you send me to all these schools. You, you, you 00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:11.860 made me a subject matter expert in this. And 00:14:11.860 --> 00:14:14.820 you just come with, I don't know. You went to 00:14:14.820 --> 00:14:17.200 a, you went to a restaurant and did this with 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:19.779 the other uppers on a napkin. And here we are. 00:14:20.169 --> 00:14:24.370 And he instituted those numbers. And I think 00:14:24.370 --> 00:14:27.850 the next academy class, they lost like 15 people 00:14:27.850 --> 00:14:32.350 within two weeks. So that's what I did for the 00:14:32.350 --> 00:14:35.370 last three years. And I saw the writing on the 00:14:35.370 --> 00:14:41.850 wall. I hit the age. I hit 50. I have some kind 00:14:41.850 --> 00:14:43.850 of severe injuries. I'm scheduled. You can kind 00:14:43.850 --> 00:14:45.789 of hear the lisp right now. I got stupid braces 00:14:45.789 --> 00:14:49.830 in. They have to fix my airway. And I'm having 00:14:49.830 --> 00:14:54.149 neck surgery December 8th because my like I wound 00:14:54.149 --> 00:14:57.509 up hurting my neck real bad and it went undiagnosed 00:14:57.509 --> 00:14:59.529 for 15 years. That's another story with workers. 00:14:59.610 --> 00:15:05.049 But anyway, I I hit all my numbers and I just 00:15:05.049 --> 00:15:11.929 I left. I retired and I do not I do not regret 00:15:11.929 --> 00:15:16.129 it. I highly recommend retirement, but I also. 00:15:18.199 --> 00:15:20.440 Everybody always asks, like, oh, I would never 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:23.919 join. I still, I would join law enforcement tomorrow. 00:15:24.340 --> 00:15:26.779 I would tell my sons if that's what they, now 00:15:26.779 --> 00:15:28.500 they can't go to the department I've left from, 00:15:28.620 --> 00:15:31.659 but I would tell my sons, yeah, if it's something 00:15:31.659 --> 00:15:35.879 you want to do, do it. I regret, I don't regret 00:15:35.879 --> 00:15:39.840 a day of it. Even when I talk about when I hurt 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:42.379 my neck, it was, you know, a guy jumped out a 00:15:42.379 --> 00:15:44.039 window on a warrant and he was trying to commit 00:15:44.039 --> 00:15:47.360 suicide. And he basically like fought me to try 00:15:47.360 --> 00:15:50.500 and drop from a second story window. And I was 00:15:50.500 --> 00:15:53.840 able to thankfully pull him back. And that became 00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:56.179 a whole thing. I was fighting like gang members. 00:15:56.460 --> 00:15:58.559 I tore everything in my shoulder. I wound up 00:15:58.559 --> 00:16:01.019 breaking my neck and not knowing it, but everybody 00:16:01.019 --> 00:16:04.639 always asked me like, well, you should have dropped 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:07.200 them. And I just think that's one of the, that's 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:11.419 disgusting. And I, I always, when I. When I had 00:16:11.419 --> 00:16:13.539 the opportunity to teach academy classes, I would 00:16:13.539 --> 00:16:15.919 tell that story and I would ask him, I was like, 00:16:15.960 --> 00:16:18.000 what do you think I regret about about that day? 00:16:18.299 --> 00:16:20.360 And all of them be like, oh, not dropping them 00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:22.220 or you shouldn't have caught them. And then I 00:16:22.220 --> 00:16:23.840 just look them dead. And then I tell them that 00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:26.000 the injury that I that I suffered with. And then 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:29.399 I tell them I regret nothing, not a moment of 00:16:29.399 --> 00:16:33.799 it. And full full circle wise, that individual, 00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:38.220 because it. It could have wound up in an IA complaint 00:16:38.220 --> 00:16:40.980 because his his I think I told you the story 00:16:40.980 --> 00:16:43.019 the last time his mom asked him if I threw him 00:16:43.019 --> 00:16:45.000 out the window and like he looked at me like 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:47.240 like a kid looks at you when they're about to 00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:49.000 lie. And he goes, you know how they do. And he 00:16:49.000 --> 00:16:50.559 put his head down like everybody's attacking 00:16:50.559 --> 00:16:52.580 me. And the mom's like, you threw my you threw 00:16:52.580 --> 00:16:55.120 my child out a window. I wound up going to the 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:57.120 hospital with him, holding his hand while they 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:00.399 were stitching him up. I wound up following him 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:03.539 like he he hit me up a couple of times. He wound 00:17:03.539 --> 00:17:06.869 up getting shot again. But full circle wise, 00:17:07.089 --> 00:17:12.269 I named my my son after him. And I didn't know 00:17:12.269 --> 00:17:15.450 it at the time because I knew his street name 00:17:15.450 --> 00:17:19.210 and I named. Now I have a younger son. I just 00:17:19.210 --> 00:17:21.329 had I just had a son three months ago because 00:17:21.329 --> 00:17:26.450 why not? But my 11 year old is named after him. 00:17:26.529 --> 00:17:29.329 And the way I found that out was he had called 00:17:29.329 --> 00:17:32.420 me. And it was the anniversary when it happened. 00:17:32.460 --> 00:17:33.940 Everybody was telling the story. And I looked 00:17:33.940 --> 00:17:35.539 up the report because everybody was like, did 00:17:35.539 --> 00:17:37.000 that really happen? Like, that's one of your 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:38.980 stories. And I was like, yeah, it really happened. 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:41.400 So I looked up the report and I looked at his 00:17:41.400 --> 00:17:44.180 name and I was like, holy crap. And I named my 00:17:44.180 --> 00:17:48.220 son after him. So that's it. And those are the 00:17:48.220 --> 00:17:51.720 stories that. Nine to five job in an office, 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:54.740 you ain't getting that. So I don't regret anything. 00:17:55.059 --> 00:17:59.650 I loved it every every moment of it. So. Well, 00:17:59.670 --> 00:18:01.410 I want to get to the recruitment in a minute, 00:18:01.450 --> 00:18:02.789 because obviously that's something that I'm passionate 00:18:02.789 --> 00:18:05.630 about as well. But before we do, excuse me, you'd 00:18:05.630 --> 00:18:12.509 alluded to the importance of the heart for service, 00:18:12.609 --> 00:18:14.309 you know, this kindness, compassion, empathy 00:18:14.309 --> 00:18:17.029 that I would argue the best firefighters, cops, 00:18:17.230 --> 00:18:20.599 paramedics, doctors, nurses, teachers have. But 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:23.099 there's this paradox, especially in your profession 00:18:23.099 --> 00:18:25.359 where you truly are having to fight for your 00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:27.980 life sometimes. Ours is more usually inanimate 00:18:27.980 --> 00:18:32.519 objects trying to kill us. But I've really realized 00:18:32.519 --> 00:18:36.140 this. If you truly want to be kind in the world, 00:18:36.200 --> 00:18:39.000 you have to have the physicality to back it up. 00:18:39.099 --> 00:18:41.460 Otherwise, as we recorded, you know, we're talking 00:18:41.460 --> 00:18:43.819 before we hit record, there are very prominent 00:18:43.819 --> 00:18:46.670 bullies at the moment. Without that physicality, 00:18:46.670 --> 00:18:48.890 they just get to walk all over people. But if 00:18:48.890 --> 00:18:52.069 you get a bully who's a little bitch, then now 00:18:52.069 --> 00:18:54.750 you get to enforce your kindness because it can't 00:18:54.750 --> 00:18:58.670 be driven away by fear. So talk to me about the 00:18:58.670 --> 00:19:02.690 importance of the physicality in uniform to then 00:19:02.690 --> 00:19:05.809 bolster the kindness, compassion, empathy that 00:19:05.809 --> 00:19:11.069 we should be known for. Because it so the way 00:19:11.069 --> 00:19:15.039 I taught. my academy students was fear is a gift. 00:19:15.579 --> 00:19:19.200 Like you have to have fear. Scared is the curse 00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:23.420 that comes with it. Fear is something that tells 00:19:23.420 --> 00:19:25.799 you, okay, this can go sideways. I have to be 00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:29.220 ready for this. I have to look for this. Scared 00:19:29.220 --> 00:19:34.619 is you freeze, you over, uh, you, you overdo 00:19:34.619 --> 00:19:38.160 something or you underdo something. So that's 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:40.720 how I differentiated. You have to have fear, 00:19:40.839 --> 00:19:44.220 like the stupid no fear stickers and all that 00:19:44.220 --> 00:19:47.380 stuff. That's ridiculous. That's just sloganism 00:19:47.380 --> 00:19:50.099 that doesn't do anybody any good. And I used 00:19:50.099 --> 00:19:53.960 to hear, you know, and luckily in the military, 00:19:54.079 --> 00:20:01.220 I was well trained and I saw it. And as a child, 00:20:01.480 --> 00:20:06.839 I told you, I had a violent household. There 00:20:06.839 --> 00:20:10.079 is a stark difference between knowing violence 00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:13.259 and understanding violence. You know violence 00:20:13.259 --> 00:20:15.619 can work. You know when you see it. You know 00:20:15.619 --> 00:20:18.000 when you're scared of it. To understand it is 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:21.859 to know if I'm to use it, I know my parameters. 00:20:21.980 --> 00:20:23.960 I know my left and right guardrails as a police 00:20:23.960 --> 00:20:29.480 officer. It is a short -term solution to de -escalate 00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:32.000 a situation. And de -escalation has become this 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:36.579 buzzword. Weak officers think it means I'm just 00:20:36.579 --> 00:20:39.660 going to keep talking for forever and hopefully 00:20:39.660 --> 00:20:42.460 it goes right. Officers that understand what 00:20:42.460 --> 00:20:44.640 de -escalation is, de -escalation is not a tactic, 00:20:44.740 --> 00:20:49.099 it's an outcome. So if someone gets in my face 00:20:49.099 --> 00:20:52.940 and I check them hard and then I take them to 00:20:52.940 --> 00:20:54.920 the ground, that's de -escalation because that 00:20:54.920 --> 00:20:57.259 person was getting aggressive and now I've done 00:20:57.259 --> 00:21:00.910 it under control. To have the empathy, compassion, 00:21:01.210 --> 00:21:04.390 and love is to know when that is not necessary, 00:21:04.670 --> 00:21:08.309 is to have the physical confidence when you arrive 00:21:08.309 --> 00:21:11.250 on scene, I can handle what's going to come at 00:21:11.250 --> 00:21:14.089 me. And I see it all the time with officers. 00:21:14.269 --> 00:21:17.089 You're seeing it right now with Ice. Why are 00:21:17.089 --> 00:21:20.910 you masked up, eight deep, yanking a mom to the 00:21:20.910 --> 00:21:23.650 ground, not being able to control her? Three 00:21:23.650 --> 00:21:27.130 officers are now on top of her. You're useless. 00:21:27.980 --> 00:21:30.619 And you're making the problem worse because now 00:21:30.619 --> 00:21:32.500 you're getting filmed. Now people are yelling 00:21:32.500 --> 00:21:34.900 at you. You saw the ICE officer who lost his 00:21:34.900 --> 00:21:37.500 gun and then picked up his gun and pointed it 00:21:37.500 --> 00:21:40.480 at the crowd as if he was some tough guy. And 00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:42.619 he's yelling at them to get back. You messed 00:21:42.619 --> 00:21:45.500 up. The crowd didn't do anything. You goofed. 00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:48.960 And that's where having the empathy, compassion 00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:52.180 and love and a physical skill set to back those 00:21:52.180 --> 00:21:55.519 things up is essential to a law enforcement officer. 00:21:55.680 --> 00:21:58.160 And I always get asked. What do you think makes 00:21:58.160 --> 00:22:00.480 a good cop? Should it be totally physical? Self 00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:04.579 -awareness and emotional intelligence. Know when 00:22:04.579 --> 00:22:07.680 you're getting hyped up. They didn't sign up 00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:10.859 to be better. Anyone in the crowd did not sign 00:22:10.859 --> 00:22:13.079 up to be better, did not sign up to be the bigger 00:22:13.079 --> 00:22:16.160 person in that crowd. The law enforcement did. 00:22:16.380 --> 00:22:19.599 We have the bully in charge. Oh, they're in their 00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:23.700 faces. Yeah, yep. That's what they do. That's 00:22:23.700 --> 00:22:28.230 what crowds do. I have been in situations where 00:22:28.230 --> 00:22:31.430 officers have froze because there's a crowd gathering. 00:22:32.369 --> 00:22:38.609 And this is against tactics. I would always go 00:22:38.609 --> 00:22:42.269 and talk. And guess what? The crowd dispersed. 00:22:42.430 --> 00:22:46.130 On my Instagram page, which I no longer post, 00:22:46.250 --> 00:22:48.910 but I keep my stories because I promised my little 00:22:48.910 --> 00:22:53.470 army. We marched down as a SWAT team and we had. 00:22:54.119 --> 00:22:56.660 And we literally look like an occupying force. 00:22:56.880 --> 00:23:00.099 We're geared up. We've got 40 mic mics. We've 00:23:00.099 --> 00:23:04.140 got every implement under the sun. There was 00:23:04.140 --> 00:23:06.700 a man who brandished, he had broken into a church. 00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:09.859 He brandished a firearm at the pastor who was 00:23:09.859 --> 00:23:11.859 opening up the church and threatened to kill 00:23:11.859 --> 00:23:14.640 anybody that came to get him out. We're marching 00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:16.460 down the street and here comes the crowd because 00:23:16.460 --> 00:23:19.380 this is right in the midst of the defund the 00:23:19.380 --> 00:23:22.660 police and George Floyd. And they're yelling 00:23:22.660 --> 00:23:25.339 at us, see, this is what you do. This is what 00:23:25.339 --> 00:23:27.519 you do. We're going to come get you. You ain't 00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:29.180 getting him, blah, blah, blah. We know how you 00:23:29.180 --> 00:23:30.539 do. You're going to kill him. You're going to 00:23:30.539 --> 00:23:34.160 kill him. And I could literally see the SWAT 00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:36.559 guys, the shoulders start going up, like in their 00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:40.839 tents. And I see one guy filming, and he's like, 00:23:40.859 --> 00:23:44.460 F the police and all this stuff. And I recognized 00:23:44.460 --> 00:23:48.319 him. So he's filming and you can see in the video, 00:23:48.380 --> 00:23:52.000 I break off from, you know, our line and I look 00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:53.859 at him and I say, hey, man, you filming? He goes, 00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:56.140 yeah, I'm filming. I said, make me look taller. 00:23:56.779 --> 00:23:59.220 And he's like, what? And I said, make me look 00:23:59.220 --> 00:24:02.180 taller. And he go and out of nowhere, he goes, 00:24:02.279 --> 00:24:05.240 cool. Is that you? And I was like, yeah, it's 00:24:05.240 --> 00:24:09.500 me. And all of a sudden, the entire tenor of 00:24:09.500 --> 00:24:13.359 what was going on changed. And our Intel guys 00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:15.539 were watching because they had put us on Facebook 00:24:15.539 --> 00:24:19.619 Live. And everybody was like, F them. Don't let 00:24:19.619 --> 00:24:22.680 them get to the church. They're taking over our 00:24:22.680 --> 00:24:24.460 neighborhood. And then all of a sudden, my buddy 00:24:24.460 --> 00:24:26.160 was telling me, he's like, hey, man, everything 00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:28.960 changed after that. Because they were like, who 00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:31.740 the is that guy? And the guy on the video says, 00:24:32.039 --> 00:24:34.460 oh, man, that's cool. He's a gang unit. I got 00:24:34.460 --> 00:24:36.240 mad respect for him. He do everything right. 00:24:36.460 --> 00:24:38.859 He goes, that dude big as hell out of that uniform. 00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:42.420 And then they started calling me Debo. And then 00:24:42.420 --> 00:24:45.319 all of a sudden that everybody kind of even the 00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:49.140 SWAT guys are like. Relaxed and now we're about 00:24:49.140 --> 00:24:52.400 the business of what we have to do for the offender, 00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:55.259 not for the crowd that has every right under 00:24:55.259 --> 00:24:57.619 the Constitution to call us every name in the 00:24:57.619 --> 00:25:01.079 book to film us to do whatever they want. I don't 00:25:01.079 --> 00:25:03.720 go contempt of cop. And that comes from my empathy, 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:05.740 my love and compassion, because I understand 00:25:05.740 --> 00:25:11.079 this neighborhood has probably been. inundated 00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:13.640 with police their entire lives, with people that 00:25:13.640 --> 00:25:15.960 look like me, wore my badge, and probably did 00:25:15.960 --> 00:25:19.140 not treat them right all the time. And this is 00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:21.880 a known gang member that I'm talking to. But 00:25:21.880 --> 00:25:23.859 he's also a citizen of the city that I'm sworn 00:25:23.859 --> 00:25:28.140 to protect. And within that incident, several 00:25:28.140 --> 00:25:30.299 times they started pushing on the police tape, 00:25:30.380 --> 00:25:34.660 like when we had come back. And their plan, the 00:25:34.660 --> 00:25:37.720 command bus's plan, which I can't stand the ICS 00:25:37.720 --> 00:25:41.039 system, because they're like, Three miles away 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:43.339 telling us what we should do about this crowd 00:25:43.339 --> 00:25:45.039 because, hey, the crowd's moving on the crime 00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:48.240 scene tape. They were going to O .C. Spram. That 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:50.299 was going to be their plan to walk officers down 00:25:50.299 --> 00:25:53.640 and O .C. Spram. I told the scene commander, 00:25:53.759 --> 00:25:56.140 I said, hey, give me give me one shot at this. 00:25:56.619 --> 00:25:58.720 And he's like, I ain't sending nobody with you. 00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:01.660 And I was like, all right. Right. Again, not 00:26:01.660 --> 00:26:04.339 tactics. I do not. This is not something I teach. 00:26:04.700 --> 00:26:07.900 Right. But 30 seconds of calculated crazy. Sometimes 00:26:07.900 --> 00:26:13.430 it works out. Right. So I walk down and I tell 00:26:13.430 --> 00:26:15.930 everybody, and this is on the same video that's 00:26:15.930 --> 00:26:19.630 on my Instagram page. I said, hey, our problem 00:26:19.630 --> 00:26:22.930 is right there. If he comes out and does something, 00:26:23.769 --> 00:26:28.970 I want us to get hit, not you. Can you please, 00:26:29.309 --> 00:26:31.549 I don't mind if you film, can you please back 00:26:31.549 --> 00:26:34.670 away from the caution tape? All right, all right, 00:26:34.750 --> 00:26:37.470 all right. And they all back up. And in that 00:26:37.470 --> 00:26:40.829 video, you hear a dad. Because the kid's saying, 00:26:40.950 --> 00:26:44.549 what is he doing? And the dad says, he's going 00:26:44.549 --> 00:26:48.529 to take a bullet for us. And that, you can't 00:26:48.529 --> 00:26:51.109 get any better than that. I don't want awards. 00:26:51.250 --> 00:26:53.289 I don't want, and I've been officer of the year 00:26:53.289 --> 00:26:55.509 and like all the stuff's in the attic, right? 00:26:55.769 --> 00:26:59.269 None of that means shit. Like it doesn't, like 00:26:59.269 --> 00:27:01.690 you can give anybody that stuff. And like everybody 00:27:01.690 --> 00:27:03.930 on scene there probably got an award like two 00:27:03.930 --> 00:27:06.569 days later. None of that matters to me. What 00:27:06.569 --> 00:27:10.619 that dad said to his child. is the highest compliment 00:27:10.619 --> 00:27:13.579 a police officer can get. Because through my 00:27:13.579 --> 00:27:15.599 empathy, through my compassion, through my love, 00:27:15.700 --> 00:27:18.180 through looking at humans as humans and telling 00:27:18.180 --> 00:27:23.539 them, please. Now, I also knew if it went sideways, 00:27:23.700 --> 00:27:27.240 I was going to grab the gang member with that 00:27:27.240 --> 00:27:29.319 phone, take him to the ground as quick as possible, 00:27:29.460 --> 00:27:31.440 absolutely dominate him in the physical realm. 00:27:31.599 --> 00:27:34.779 And guess what? The 25 other people, they're 00:27:34.779 --> 00:27:36.799 generally going to back up because they don't 00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:39.289 want any of that. because it was quick, it was 00:27:39.289 --> 00:27:43.509 efficient, and it wasn't done yelling because 00:27:43.509 --> 00:27:46.329 I've also done that. I've also had crowds where 00:27:46.329 --> 00:27:49.329 there's two or three agitators. One of them gets 00:27:49.329 --> 00:27:52.829 in my face, which that's what I wanted, do a 00:27:52.829 --> 00:27:55.529 quick ankle pick or a takedown, dominate them, 00:27:55.589 --> 00:27:57.829 get in the mount, tell them to calm down, and 00:27:57.829 --> 00:28:00.099 now all of a sudden. All the bullies back up 00:28:00.099 --> 00:28:02.539 and they're like, oh, because there's still enough 00:28:02.539 --> 00:28:04.579 respect for police. They know there's more of 00:28:04.579 --> 00:28:07.220 me coming. And they also know that was not what 00:28:07.220 --> 00:28:10.180 they expected to happen. And that's where law 00:28:10.180 --> 00:28:15.119 enforcement loses it, because within that empathy, 00:28:15.240 --> 00:28:18.059 compassion and love component, you don't hate. 00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:22.940 You don't blame society for the ills. You look 00:28:22.940 --> 00:28:26.299 inward. What can we do better? You know what? 00:28:26.829 --> 00:28:30.029 I'm getting a little bit of a pooch here. I got 00:28:30.029 --> 00:28:33.029 to fix this. I went to my physical and they're 00:28:33.029 --> 00:28:35.609 telling me my cholesterol is too high. I'm getting 00:28:35.609 --> 00:28:40.009 diabetic. You fix inward instead of looking outward 00:28:40.009 --> 00:28:42.769 to blame your problems on, especially as law 00:28:42.769 --> 00:28:48.230 enforcement, because like it or not, you signed 00:28:48.230 --> 00:28:50.950 up to be better. And that's where I came up with 00:28:50.950 --> 00:28:55.700 the warrior police. Like nobody liked that. Well, 00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:59.059 the academy classes love it, but the uppers didn't 00:28:59.059 --> 00:29:02.000 like that because that has a bad connotation. 00:29:02.019 --> 00:29:03.519 And I always used to tell them, I was like, I 00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:06.619 define what a warrior is. And I said, a true 00:29:06.619 --> 00:29:09.579 warrior, the ones who did it best knew that their 00:29:09.579 --> 00:29:14.059 job was to go extinct, was to not be necessary, 00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:17.019 was to go back to their farms. Me and Jeff talk 00:29:17.019 --> 00:29:18.900 about it all the time about earn your garden. 00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:22.200 That's what a warrior does. He earns his peace. 00:29:22.859 --> 00:29:25.440 And I'm there to protect, not to make more of 00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:28.539 me, but to make more of people who have better 00:29:28.539 --> 00:29:33.019 solutions than me. I'm a dinosaur. If I have 00:29:33.019 --> 00:29:37.319 to continually use violence to try and keep everything 00:29:37.319 --> 00:29:41.240 under control, I am failing in some aspect of 00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:43.440 what's going on. And that's what drives me crazy 00:29:43.440 --> 00:29:51.570 about what's going on now is these bullies. You're 00:29:51.570 --> 00:29:54.769 commandeering what was supposed to be a noble 00:29:54.769 --> 00:29:57.509 profession. And we've already taken enough hits. 00:29:57.849 --> 00:30:01.430 And you're just making it worse. So, yeah, I'm 00:30:01.430 --> 00:30:05.190 huge on that. And it cost me a lot because a 00:30:05.190 --> 00:30:07.630 lot of I differentiate between cops and warrior 00:30:07.630 --> 00:30:11.769 police. Cops can't stand that crap. I was invited 00:30:11.769 --> 00:30:16.900 to a symposium. And it's it's like 500 police 00:30:16.900 --> 00:30:19.519 officers. And I was invited because they were 00:30:19.519 --> 00:30:22.200 specifically talking about how I targeted gangs, 00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:25.720 how it only takes one officer to turn around 00:30:25.720 --> 00:30:30.380 a neighborhood. And I look the way I look. Obviously, 00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:32.680 I got the you know, I got the Viking thing going 00:30:32.680 --> 00:30:38.880 on. I sit down. And it was it was an FBI symposium. 00:30:38.920 --> 00:30:41.880 He introduces me and I'm looking at tight T -shirts 00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:45.160 and huge dudes. And they're just waiting for 00:30:45.160 --> 00:30:47.759 me to like you go in, you kick ass, you tell 00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:50.440 everybody it's your neighborhood now. And I literally 00:30:50.440 --> 00:30:53.279 start off by by saying I believe in empathy, 00:30:53.420 --> 00:30:56.579 compassion and love. And treating everyone like 00:30:56.579 --> 00:30:59.640 a human being and finding what we have in common 00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:03.900 and. you you could have heard a pin drop and 00:31:03.900 --> 00:31:05.799 like they were like you know you know how a dog 00:31:05.799 --> 00:31:07.640 looks at you like they don't they're just like 00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:11.559 what huh and the female sitting next to me she 00:31:11.559 --> 00:31:14.579 knew who i was and she texted me and my phone 00:31:14.579 --> 00:31:17.519 goes off and she's like you just effed up their 00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:21.900 world and that was that was true and what drives 00:31:21.900 --> 00:31:26.039 me crazy james i got done it was like a 30 minute 00:31:26.039 --> 00:31:29.339 presentation And I kept hitting on empathy, compassion, 00:31:29.660 --> 00:31:31.140 and love. It'll make you better at your job. 00:31:31.339 --> 00:31:35.619 It won't get you jaundiced. I'm not saying you 00:31:35.619 --> 00:31:38.039 don't ever put hands on somebody. What I'm saying 00:31:38.039 --> 00:31:41.500 is when you do it, be physically in control of 00:31:41.500 --> 00:31:43.500 yourself and that person, which means you've 00:31:43.500 --> 00:31:46.619 got to train. And our departments are not doing 00:31:46.619 --> 00:31:49.450 this for us. Because they're so far removed. 00:31:49.630 --> 00:31:51.549 And back in their day, it was six on one and 00:31:51.549 --> 00:31:54.210 everything worked out. And I said, but they didn't 00:31:54.210 --> 00:31:56.690 have body cameras. They didn't have people ready 00:31:56.690 --> 00:31:59.130 to film, ready to critique you. And I said, so 00:31:59.130 --> 00:32:02.250 we have to be better. So I go and everybody kind 00:32:02.250 --> 00:32:05.950 of like slow claps it. And then I'm out in the 00:32:05.950 --> 00:32:10.549 corridor and there had to be about 15 officers 00:32:10.549 --> 00:32:13.109 in tight shirts, Punisher skulls, all that stuff 00:32:13.109 --> 00:32:16.630 coming up to me and saying, I want to be more 00:32:16.630 --> 00:32:19.619 like that. I didn't think we could operate like 00:32:19.619 --> 00:32:26.619 that. I want to operate like that. I'm always 00:32:26.619 --> 00:32:29.039 reticent because it's so self -aggrandizing, 00:32:29.099 --> 00:32:35.799 but here we are. I knew. I knew that they looked 00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:42.900 at me and they were impressed. They just didn't 00:32:42.900 --> 00:32:46.200 know how to get there. And that made me sad because... 00:32:46.890 --> 00:32:49.349 A lot of them, I said, why didn't you raise your 00:32:49.349 --> 00:32:51.630 hand when I said it? Because I asked if anybody 00:32:51.630 --> 00:32:54.250 had any questions, and like, nobody. And then 00:32:54.250 --> 00:32:58.029 I get mobbed in the corridor. And they were like, 00:32:58.089 --> 00:33:01.309 man, I wasn't going to say that that was the 00:33:01.309 --> 00:33:04.750 right way. And that's what I love about the younger 00:33:04.750 --> 00:33:10.910 generation coming up. They have that. In all 00:33:10.910 --> 00:33:13.509 the measurables, they are more empathetic, more 00:33:13.509 --> 00:33:15.869 compassionate, and more loving as individuals. 00:33:16.799 --> 00:33:19.559 They're confused by what they see of the world 00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:23.980 and of our leaders. Because we told these kids, 00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:26.400 care about others, take care of your neighbors. 00:33:26.859 --> 00:33:28.839 And then as soon as they do it, we call them 00:33:28.839 --> 00:33:31.559 soft and we call them names. And that's not the 00:33:31.559 --> 00:33:34.240 way the world works. When I got that prep class, 00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:39.299 their eyes, like it just clicked. What they're 00:33:39.299 --> 00:33:42.500 missing is the sacrifice, the drive and determination 00:33:42.500 --> 00:33:46.279 to be in professions like ours. They don't understand 00:33:46.279 --> 00:33:49.279 it is going to take a toll. And the physical 00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:52.279 realm and being empathetic, compassionate and 00:33:52.279 --> 00:33:54.859 love is going to stave off a lot of the things 00:33:54.859 --> 00:33:57.619 that takes people out in the profession. You 00:33:57.619 --> 00:34:00.519 know, the drug abuse, the alcohol abuse, the 00:34:00.519 --> 00:34:05.079 self -loathing, the coming to work and being 00:34:05.079 --> 00:34:07.579 mad at the world and taking it out on the first. 00:34:08.389 --> 00:34:12.570 suspect you can, if you keep that mindset of 00:34:12.570 --> 00:34:15.989 continual evolution and continual bettering yourself, 00:34:16.710 --> 00:34:21.329 it's a bulwark against that. And it's how it's 00:34:21.329 --> 00:34:24.309 supposed to be. Because the guys that I always 00:34:24.309 --> 00:34:27.429 loved being around were of the similar mindset. 00:34:27.650 --> 00:34:30.530 And we all didn't have exactly the same mindset. 00:34:30.630 --> 00:34:33.309 We all wanted to get the job done the most correct 00:34:33.309 --> 00:34:35.769 way possible with the least amount of damage 00:34:35.769 --> 00:34:40.579 to anyone, anything. And us as well. And I just, 00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:43.400 I've been very fortunate that that's how I roll 00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:47.519 for 25 years. But it was, it sucked on the way 00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:50.079 out to know that it was just going to be like, 00:34:50.179 --> 00:34:54.980 he's gone. That's it. Like they tore apart the 00:34:54.980 --> 00:34:59.539 gang unit. It just became a jump out squad. It 00:34:59.539 --> 00:35:04.280 messed me up pretty bad to watch that. They don't 00:35:04.280 --> 00:35:08.079 even go to the schools anymore. See, this is 00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:12.980 what's so counterintuitive is there's this completely 00:35:12.980 --> 00:35:15.719 backward mentality that if you lower standards, 00:35:15.820 --> 00:35:18.420 as you alluded to earlier, we'll have all these 00:35:18.420 --> 00:35:20.679 people and then we'll be able to hire a bunch 00:35:20.679 --> 00:35:24.260 of people. And when I look at my career, I argue, 00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:25.920 you know, I've worked in one of the best fire 00:35:25.920 --> 00:35:27.840 departments in America, hands down, and one of 00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:31.300 the worst. And the worst one, they had better 00:35:31.300 --> 00:35:34.019 pay. They had more time off in the Kelly day. 00:35:34.750 --> 00:35:39.349 and zero fitness standards, zero need to prove 00:35:39.349 --> 00:35:41.769 your worth as a firefighter in any way, shape, 00:35:41.769 --> 00:35:43.909 or form during the orientation when I got hired. 00:35:44.449 --> 00:35:47.130 And they could barely get anyone to test. The 00:35:47.130 --> 00:35:50.949 one that held the bar super high, even despite 00:35:50.949 --> 00:35:52.750 this recruitment crisis we're going through now, 00:35:52.849 --> 00:35:57.449 they're still held at the top because their standards, 00:35:57.570 --> 00:36:00.510 at least when I was there, they took... I figured 00:36:00.510 --> 00:36:03.880 this out the other day. the top 3 % of the list 00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:06.119 of over a thousand candidates at the written. 00:36:06.179 --> 00:36:09.019 So the list was even bigger before that. And 00:36:09.019 --> 00:36:11.179 then through the probationary year of each of 00:36:11.179 --> 00:36:13.940 the two classes, they used to get rid of about 00:36:13.940 --> 00:36:16.659 a quarter of the class. So by the end of probation, 00:36:16.940 --> 00:36:19.619 you're down really to each class was 1 % of that 00:36:19.619 --> 00:36:24.219 list. And so you've basically removed anyone 00:36:24.219 --> 00:36:26.480 was there for the wrong reason. You held such 00:36:26.480 --> 00:36:30.480 a high standard that only if you have. Is compassion 00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:33.000 and service burning in your heart? Are you going 00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:35.360 to make it through that crucible? And there was. 00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:37.659 There was a culture of fitness. They were professional 00:36:37.659 --> 00:36:39.960 on the fire side, professional on the EMS side. 00:36:40.139 --> 00:36:43.320 They were phenomenal firefighters. And then conversely, 00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:46.460 in the worst one, there are people now that if, 00:36:46.519 --> 00:36:50.500 God forbid, we have an event in the theme park, 00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:53.059 the world -famous theme park they protect. There 00:36:53.059 --> 00:36:54.679 are people that won't put the mask on. There 00:36:54.679 --> 00:36:56.519 are people that won't go into the building, won't 00:36:56.519 --> 00:36:59.300 go towards the people that are wounded after 00:36:59.300 --> 00:37:01.679 a shooting, whatever it is. They will turn and 00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:05.179 run. And if your family are in that incident, 00:37:05.400 --> 00:37:07.599 which of those departments do you want? Ironically, 00:37:07.739 --> 00:37:11.739 the city of Anaheim protects Disneyland. Same 00:37:11.739 --> 00:37:15.820 company, different dynamic. So this is why I 00:37:15.820 --> 00:37:17.840 think it's so important to have these standards 00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:20.019 at the highest level. And one of your fellow... 00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:22.780 Law enforcement officers from different departments 00:37:22.780 --> 00:37:26.559 got into the background check world. And we were 00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:29.539 talking and he was saying that it costs on average 00:37:29.539 --> 00:37:32.619 half a million dollars to get rid of a single 00:37:32.619 --> 00:37:36.960 bad recruit. One. So with this whole, oh, we 00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:39.000 don't have the money, like in the fire service 00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:41.820 to fund the fourth shift or in law enforcement 00:37:41.820 --> 00:37:43.860 to just simply give the training that's needed 00:37:43.860 --> 00:37:47.380 and show the support, it's a complete false economy 00:37:47.380 --> 00:37:52.110 too. But when you talk about the level of training 00:37:52.110 --> 00:37:54.530 that allows you to be compassionate and empathetic 00:37:54.530 --> 00:37:57.730 in law enforcement uniform, as these standards 00:37:57.730 --> 00:38:01.190 start to diminish, there's a greater and greater 00:38:01.190 --> 00:38:04.610 and greater chance that, you know, bad things 00:38:04.610 --> 00:38:07.210 are going to happen by law enforcement officers 00:38:07.210 --> 00:38:09.469 because they don't have the physical fitness, 00:38:09.690 --> 00:38:12.869 the defensive tactics or the moral compass to 00:38:12.869 --> 00:38:16.329 do what's right. Yep. Yeah. And that's it. When 00:38:16.329 --> 00:38:19.210 I did the prep class. I was solid in the prep 00:38:19.210 --> 00:38:24.590 class for about two years. And my wife, who's 00:38:24.590 --> 00:38:28.010 still in law enforcement, she compiled because 00:38:28.010 --> 00:38:29.889 they were looking at it. Hey, should we continue 00:38:29.889 --> 00:38:32.329 this? Because they were saying this is too expensive. 00:38:32.469 --> 00:38:35.849 He gets paid OT because I was coming in on Saturday 00:38:35.849 --> 00:38:39.550 mornings to train these guys and girls. So they 00:38:39.550 --> 00:38:41.409 were like, it's too expensive. And basically 00:38:41.409 --> 00:38:44.969 what it was because of how I talked and because 00:38:44.969 --> 00:38:49.530 they didn't want me. What was the unduly influencing 00:38:49.530 --> 00:38:55.050 academy recruits, which I was like, whatever. 00:38:56.670 --> 00:38:59.949 And that's the going back to like my career. 00:39:00.429 --> 00:39:03.230 The funniest thing I ever got, I got told many 00:39:03.230 --> 00:39:06.409 things about myself, like post when I got transferred. 00:39:07.070 --> 00:39:08.989 And when I got finally got transferred to the 00:39:08.989 --> 00:39:11.809 gang unit, there was a guy who became major and 00:39:11.809 --> 00:39:13.489 he goes, you know why you got transferred to 00:39:13.489 --> 00:39:15.800 the gang unit. Right. And I was like. No, not 00:39:15.800 --> 00:39:18.539 really. And they were like, well, we wanted to 00:39:18.539 --> 00:39:20.460 put you in a place that you only had like three 00:39:20.460 --> 00:39:23.260 other people to influence because no matter where 00:39:23.260 --> 00:39:25.880 we sent you, no matter where we sent you, we 00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:27.860 were guaranteed to get three more of you out 00:39:27.860 --> 00:39:29.679 of a squad. And we just can't deal with that. 00:39:30.380 --> 00:39:35.500 So that like when I started the prep class, they 00:39:35.500 --> 00:39:37.619 wanted to they wanted to kill it like right away. 00:39:37.699 --> 00:39:40.860 They were like, hey, it's him. And he's getting 00:39:40.860 --> 00:39:43.360 because my numbers were good. I was getting 20 00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:48.579 people. uh, two times a week to train. And my 00:39:48.579 --> 00:39:52.280 wife actually compiled the statistics on the 00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:54.159 people that I trained that eventually went to 00:39:54.159 --> 00:39:57.800 the Academy. They were like at a 96 % graduation 00:39:57.800 --> 00:40:01.820 rate. So then she brought it to the uppers and 00:40:01.820 --> 00:40:05.699 I had, uh, our, our deputy chief was, he was, 00:40:05.699 --> 00:40:09.019 he, he had been a mentor of mine forever and 00:40:09.019 --> 00:40:11.690 I owe him a lot. And he was like, Yeah, no, we 00:40:11.690 --> 00:40:13.429 ain't moving them. The OT is worth it. Like, 00:40:13.449 --> 00:40:17.269 this is this is what we want. And what you found 00:40:17.269 --> 00:40:22.210 was. Especially these younger kids, their T -shirt 00:40:22.210 --> 00:40:25.389 phrases and slogans and like burn the ships and 00:40:25.389 --> 00:40:28.469 all this bullshit. Like I was like, you know, 00:40:28.469 --> 00:40:31.670 no one's coming to save you. And I do CrossFit. 00:40:31.789 --> 00:40:34.010 And right. Like I was like, that's awesome. Like, 00:40:34.070 --> 00:40:35.949 what what does that mean to you that no one's 00:40:35.949 --> 00:40:37.929 coming to save you? I got to do everything on 00:40:37.929 --> 00:40:39.750 my own. I said, well, you're in the wrong profession. 00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:42.980 And they would be like, they'd be like, what? 00:40:43.159 --> 00:40:46.380 I was like, if you call on the radio and you 00:40:46.380 --> 00:40:50.320 say you need me, about 20 of us are coming to 00:40:50.320 --> 00:40:54.659 save you. Like that's the gig. If a woman is 00:40:54.659 --> 00:40:57.280 being beat by her husband, we're sending like 00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:59.380 three units. Like everybody's coming to save 00:40:59.380 --> 00:41:03.579 you. Like that stuff is just a slogan. And it's 00:41:03.579 --> 00:41:06.840 meant for you to buy t -shirts. It doesn't mean 00:41:06.840 --> 00:41:12.389 anything. So they were kind of like, yeah. And 00:41:12.389 --> 00:41:14.829 they love that. Like every human loves that, 00:41:14.909 --> 00:41:18.090 to be part of something bigger and to know that 00:41:18.090 --> 00:41:23.530 there is a standard. And I told my chief, I am 00:41:23.530 --> 00:41:26.389 sick and tired of you guys saying we're number 00:41:26.389 --> 00:41:30.909 one and then not leaning into it. Or worse, what's 00:41:30.909 --> 00:41:34.429 this other department doing? Who cares? Be the 00:41:34.429 --> 00:41:37.289 first. And then go to all your symposiums in 00:41:37.289 --> 00:41:41.050 Las Vegas at $10 ,000 a pop and tell them you're 00:41:41.050 --> 00:41:44.610 the first. Like, that's what people want. They 00:41:44.610 --> 00:41:49.650 want to know, can I pass this crucible? And can 00:41:49.650 --> 00:41:54.710 I be among the elite? Because, yeah, they may 00:41:54.710 --> 00:41:57.690 pass at lower standards. But guess what? A guy 00:41:57.690 --> 00:42:01.170 like me, when they see me operate, they're going 00:42:01.170 --> 00:42:03.550 to know they passed at lower standards. And all 00:42:03.550 --> 00:42:06.900 you're going to get. is a liar who tells himself 00:42:06.900 --> 00:42:10.019 oh i'm just like this other guy or someone who 00:42:10.019 --> 00:42:14.159 just gets down on themselves because they're 00:42:14.159 --> 00:42:18.599 like i i don't measure up so it's better to keep 00:42:18.599 --> 00:42:20.860 those higher standards and have it assimilate 00:42:20.860 --> 00:42:24.780 and then that's just is your culture like i'm 00:42:24.780 --> 00:42:26.900 i'm tired of this how do we build a culture how 00:42:26.900 --> 00:42:30.599 from prep class to the background process to 00:42:30.599 --> 00:42:33.940 the academy to out of the academy We had the 00:42:33.940 --> 00:42:36.599 field training officers and all of a sudden they 00:42:36.599 --> 00:42:40.179 took away the pay that was extra for field training 00:42:40.179 --> 00:42:42.500 officers. Well, guess what? Now you don't have 00:42:42.500 --> 00:42:44.619 a lot of people that want to be field training 00:42:44.619 --> 00:42:46.659 officers. So now you have people that just want 00:42:46.659 --> 00:42:48.760 to pin and they wanted something that they can 00:42:48.760 --> 00:42:51.800 put on their sergeant's resume to go make sergeant. 00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:54.420 So now you've lowered the standards there. So 00:42:54.420 --> 00:42:57.659 now you have a badass academy graduate who gets 00:42:57.659 --> 00:43:00.599 in an FTO's car, who literally tells them, forget 00:43:00.599 --> 00:43:03.820 all that academy bullshit. So guess what? You've 00:43:03.820 --> 00:43:06.920 just you've just chinked the armor for your culture. 00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:10.940 And they they are so far removed in their air 00:43:10.940 --> 00:43:15.219 conditioned offices that. Well, and I and then 00:43:15.219 --> 00:43:17.420 it becomes a why suffer. They should suffer. 00:43:17.500 --> 00:43:20.860 I had a crap FTO. What? That's not your job. 00:43:21.000 --> 00:43:23.460 You're not a leader. You're just a supervisor. 00:43:23.539 --> 00:43:27.239 And there's no leader and supervisor. And I cannot 00:43:27.239 --> 00:43:31.960 stand that aspect of it as well. We just went 00:43:31.960 --> 00:43:36.099 through a huge transition where a lot of the 00:43:36.099 --> 00:43:37.960 younger officers, because it's hot and humid 00:43:37.960 --> 00:43:40.739 here in Virginia, were asking for a change of 00:43:40.739 --> 00:43:43.019 uniform because they were still with the old 00:43:43.019 --> 00:43:46.159 nylon pleated and they were like, can we get 00:43:46.159 --> 00:43:48.500 an outer vest carrier? You would have thought 00:43:48.500 --> 00:43:51.900 these kids asked for an $80 ,000 raise tomorrow 00:43:51.900 --> 00:43:56.659 with how these uppers were acting. I wore the 00:43:56.659 --> 00:44:00.750 uniform. Okay. And? Was it comfortable? Hell 00:44:00.750 --> 00:44:04.570 no. Then you're in a position to change it. And 00:44:04.570 --> 00:44:07.889 I'm bullshitting you now, James. The quote, and 00:44:07.889 --> 00:44:09.789 I almost lost it. I almost fought the dude in 00:44:09.789 --> 00:44:13.929 the firearms cleaning area. Well, where does 00:44:13.929 --> 00:44:17.789 it end? I was like, huh? Where does it end? They're 00:44:17.789 --> 00:44:20.369 going to ask for new cars and new uniforms. Where 00:44:20.369 --> 00:44:23.030 does it end? Where does it stop? I said, it doesn't. 00:44:23.550 --> 00:44:27.039 It doesn't. If you can do for your people. You 00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:29.820 do for your people. Now, if they say, I would 00:44:29.820 --> 00:44:33.239 like a 2025 Escalade, then you have to tell them, 00:44:33.320 --> 00:44:36.760 hey, no, that's out of bounds. But a more comfortable 00:44:36.760 --> 00:44:40.719 uniform, a ball cap in the summertime to keep 00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:43.280 the sun out of their eyes, that's not professional. 00:44:44.199 --> 00:44:47.860 Look around, man. These kids are raised on GTA 00:44:47.860 --> 00:44:51.179 and Battlefield and all those games. They want 00:44:51.179 --> 00:44:54.840 to look cool. And that's not a thing. I said 00:44:54.840 --> 00:44:58.039 that 100 % is a thing. Let them look cool. Let 00:44:58.039 --> 00:45:01.159 them feel good. And guess what? The ones that 00:45:01.159 --> 00:45:03.099 don't feel good are going to want to look better 00:45:03.099 --> 00:45:05.119 in uniform. They're going to want the cool uniform. 00:45:05.219 --> 00:45:06.780 They're going to want the ball cap that looks 00:45:06.780 --> 00:45:11.460 good. And I said, you are just hindering the 00:45:11.460 --> 00:45:15.539 process because you had a bad process. That's 00:45:15.539 --> 00:45:20.460 not leadership. That stalls everything. And I 00:45:20.460 --> 00:45:22.880 told him. You're not going to stall it forever 00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:25.320 because the good and right idea can only be stalled. 00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:29.000 It'll never be stopped. And six months ago, outer 00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:32.460 vest carriers, I think they went with Lululemon 00:45:32.460 --> 00:45:37.659 pants and a new kind of mesh shirt. They're like 00:45:37.659 --> 00:45:39.960 the yoga pants? That would be distracting for 00:45:39.960 --> 00:45:41.880 the perp while you throw the cuffs on. I know. 00:45:42.900 --> 00:45:47.239 I think they're tack pants. And guess what? you 00:45:47.239 --> 00:45:49.960 had a bunch of happy officers and it lends itself 00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:52.119 to now I want to do work. I want to get out of 00:45:52.119 --> 00:45:54.420 my car. You know, you have nylon pants that are 00:45:54.420 --> 00:45:57.219 ready to like spark a fire every time you get 00:45:57.219 --> 00:46:00.599 out in 90 degree heat and you're, you're in your 00:46:00.599 --> 00:46:02.840 air conditioned office. You might not want to 00:46:02.840 --> 00:46:05.780 get out of that car. Well, so we're better in 00:46:05.780 --> 00:46:08.380 a foot pursuit. One is more athletic than the 00:46:08.380 --> 00:46:10.260 other. So even from a performance point of view, 00:46:10.320 --> 00:46:17.150 it makes sense. And, and you, you see it. And 00:46:17.150 --> 00:46:20.070 everyone like the one thing law enforcement hates 00:46:20.070 --> 00:46:22.849 is change or lack of change. Like and that's 00:46:22.849 --> 00:46:28.150 that's like the truism. And they are so they 00:46:28.150 --> 00:46:30.710 don't want to be wrong, which means that they 00:46:30.710 --> 00:46:35.389 just stall. And the I call them kids, but I told 00:46:35.389 --> 00:46:38.190 all the supervisors that I talked to, the kids 00:46:38.190 --> 00:46:40.150 didn't do this. They didn't lower standards. 00:46:40.510 --> 00:46:43.530 They didn't they didn't get caught doing what 00:46:43.530 --> 00:46:46.429 they shouldn't have. You guys did. Like that, 00:46:46.449 --> 00:46:49.710 that's on you. I am sick and tired of blaming 00:46:49.710 --> 00:46:53.969 a younger generation or kids today. Well, who 00:46:53.969 --> 00:46:57.250 raised them? Who taught them? Who were their 00:46:57.250 --> 00:47:00.530 examples? Like, look in the mirror. You know, 00:47:00.590 --> 00:47:06.010 I, I have five kids. I have had two ex -wives. 00:47:06.250 --> 00:47:09.690 I have my third wife, third time's a charm. But 00:47:09.690 --> 00:47:12.570 guess what? I had to have honest conversations 00:47:12.570 --> 00:47:16.449 with my children about my failings as a man because 00:47:16.449 --> 00:47:22.329 I cheated. And that is on me. And I was a coward. 00:47:22.469 --> 00:47:26.010 I was a liar. And I was not a good husband. For 00:47:26.010 --> 00:47:29.510 me to say anything other is to set myself up 00:47:29.510 --> 00:47:32.289 and my children for failure at a later date. 00:47:33.190 --> 00:47:37.429 So as young as they could understand. My moral 00:47:37.429 --> 00:47:39.909 failings, they were told. Now, I didn't go into 00:47:39.909 --> 00:47:43.130 the nitty gritty, but they were told. Guess what? 00:47:44.170 --> 00:47:49.550 My first wife, we're best friends. And my second 00:47:49.550 --> 00:47:53.070 wife, not so much. But all of my children are 00:47:53.070 --> 00:47:56.190 a unit. We're a family. They visit me. They call 00:47:56.190 --> 00:48:02.230 me. They look to me. Because I didn't bullshit. 00:48:02.880 --> 00:48:05.420 I didn't put myself on a pedestal that I could 00:48:05.420 --> 00:48:08.059 easily be knocked down. That's what I tried to 00:48:08.059 --> 00:48:11.820 bring to my law enforcement career. I made mistakes. 00:48:12.179 --> 00:48:15.599 Here they are. I always tried to correct. I make 00:48:15.599 --> 00:48:20.739 amends. And law enforcement for years, for years 00:48:20.739 --> 00:48:23.440 was, we got it, we got it, don't worry about 00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:25.619 it, don't worry about it. And then what happened? 00:48:25.719 --> 00:48:28.380 The information age. And it turned out, most 00:48:28.380 --> 00:48:30.119 of what we said, that we can get everybody in 00:48:30.119 --> 00:48:33.079 custody in three easy ninja moves. It was bullshit. 00:48:33.639 --> 00:48:37.539 And what did we do? In response, we yelled at 00:48:37.539 --> 00:48:42.460 the public? We blamed society for changing? No. 00:48:42.900 --> 00:48:45.820 That's on us. You knew you were lowering standards. 00:48:46.199 --> 00:48:49.360 You knew your DT programs were crap. You knew 00:48:49.360 --> 00:48:53.619 a week of physical control in the academy and 00:48:53.619 --> 00:48:55.800 then nothing else is probably going to make some 00:48:55.800 --> 00:48:58.780 bad habits and make some scared officers do horrible 00:48:58.780 --> 00:49:04.139 things. You have to look in the mirror and law 00:49:04.139 --> 00:49:07.420 enforcement, especially during the defund arena, 00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:14.880 that was a horrendous, way too far to the left 00:49:14.880 --> 00:49:19.599 response to real problems in law enforcement. 00:49:20.300 --> 00:49:24.150 But where were the chiefs? where were they standing 00:49:24.150 --> 00:49:25.750 up and saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 00:49:25.889 --> 00:49:28.789 We have some things we need to fix and here are 00:49:28.789 --> 00:49:31.969 some reasonable solutions. No, they stuck their 00:49:31.969 --> 00:49:33.889 head in the sand and they went with the defund 00:49:33.889 --> 00:49:37.110 movement to save their own skins. It was beautiful 00:49:37.110 --> 00:49:40.989 watching some of those chiefs kneel. I've got 00:49:40.989 --> 00:49:43.090 posters of it on my bedroom wall. Chiefs just 00:49:43.090 --> 00:49:45.909 kneeling, you know, because everything is fixed 00:49:45.909 --> 00:49:49.070 now. You just went down on one knee. So we don't 00:49:49.070 --> 00:49:52.880 need any changes. I'll frame that and then I'll 00:49:52.880 --> 00:49:54.659 know my family's safer now. So thank you for 00:49:54.659 --> 00:50:00.219 your service. Yep. And to have the empathy and 00:50:00.219 --> 00:50:04.559 compassion, we had a huge, we actually had a 00:50:04.559 --> 00:50:06.860 riot in a surrounding city that we went to. That 00:50:06.860 --> 00:50:12.860 was fun. But in our city, my chief. He was a 00:50:12.860 --> 00:50:16.380 black man and he came up in an era where he was 00:50:16.380 --> 00:50:18.900 in the 80s and he told me all the horribleness 00:50:18.900 --> 00:50:20.980 that he went through on my department where, 00:50:21.019 --> 00:50:23.579 you know, they would mess with his car and wouldn't 00:50:23.579 --> 00:50:25.760 back him up right away. And he became chief. 00:50:26.679 --> 00:50:31.059 He when when all like the BLM stuff and the protests 00:50:31.059 --> 00:50:33.679 started happening, I had community members that 00:50:33.679 --> 00:50:35.579 were like, hey, we're going to do a vigil. Will 00:50:35.579 --> 00:50:38.119 you come? Will you protect it? we're not gonna 00:50:38.119 --> 00:50:39.900 we're not gonna do what happened in surrounding 00:50:39.900 --> 00:50:42.480 cities the chief was i went to the chief i said 00:50:42.480 --> 00:50:44.500 hey i'm getting contacted but he goes all right 00:50:44.500 --> 00:50:48.019 i'll be there and then he was there and then 00:50:48.019 --> 00:50:52.440 he one of the one of the saddest kind of episodes 00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:56.480 in my police career was he saw the need for physical 00:50:56.480 --> 00:51:01.699 fitness and for a revamped dt program so he allowed 00:51:01.699 --> 00:51:07.880 um The DT program to go DT quarterly, which every 00:51:07.880 --> 00:51:09.739 three months was an eight hour block. You could 00:51:09.739 --> 00:51:13.719 get OT. We would bring jujitsu instructors. We 00:51:13.719 --> 00:51:17.179 would bring strikers like everything. The same 00:51:17.179 --> 00:51:20.500 15 officers. We were we were a 400 member complement, 00:51:20.619 --> 00:51:24.599 the same 15 officers every time. Right. So when 00:51:24.599 --> 00:51:26.519 all this stuff is going on, I kind of see my 00:51:26.519 --> 00:51:30.260 end and now I want working out on duty. So I 00:51:30.260 --> 00:51:33.570 went to him. And he nailed me. I'm always passionate. 00:51:33.789 --> 00:51:37.469 And, and sometimes I go overboard. So I, I corner 00:51:37.469 --> 00:51:39.289 him in the hallway and he was great. Like he, 00:51:39.309 --> 00:51:41.070 he, he knew who I was. He talked to me all the 00:51:41.070 --> 00:51:43.949 time. And I said, I said, chief, can you please 00:51:43.949 --> 00:51:47.349 look at setting aside some time for working out 00:51:47.349 --> 00:51:49.329 on duty? If the supervisor allows it, blah, blah, 00:51:49.369 --> 00:51:51.769 blah. Then he looked right at me. He goes, no. 00:51:52.809 --> 00:51:54.769 And I said, chief, like, this is the time he 00:51:54.769 --> 00:51:57.280 goes. No. He goes, it's going to be an expense. 00:51:57.480 --> 00:51:58.619 You know, there's going to be people that get 00:51:58.619 --> 00:52:01.019 hurt. And he goes, I just can't do it right now. 00:52:01.079 --> 00:52:03.900 I said, chief, you've got to. He goes, and he 00:52:03.900 --> 00:52:06.000 looked right at me. He goes, cool. I gave you 00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:08.739 DT quarterly. He goes, you said everybody wanted 00:52:08.739 --> 00:52:11.199 that. And I was like, yes, sir. He goes, how 00:52:11.199 --> 00:52:15.860 many people come? And I just, he had me. He absolutely 00:52:15.860 --> 00:52:19.090 had me. And he goes, I have to deal with a bunch 00:52:19.090 --> 00:52:21.809 of stuff that I know you don't care about, but 00:52:21.809 --> 00:52:23.750 I have to go to city council and I have to talk 00:52:23.750 --> 00:52:25.889 about overtime. And he goes, I'm going to keep 00:52:25.889 --> 00:52:27.809 your DT quarterly program because I know some 00:52:27.809 --> 00:52:30.389 officers go to it. He goes, but there is no way 00:52:30.389 --> 00:52:33.309 that I can expand into a physical fitness program 00:52:33.309 --> 00:52:37.130 when I know only 15 people show up to your class 00:52:37.130 --> 00:52:40.630 when I've allotted 25 a pop. And you told me 00:52:40.630 --> 00:52:42.710 it was going to grow and we were going to need 00:52:42.710 --> 00:52:47.070 to add dates. And I just I hung my head. He was 00:52:47.070 --> 00:52:50.349 absolutely right. I hated it, but he was correct. 00:52:51.070 --> 00:52:53.469 Well, let me ask you this because, you know, 00:52:53.489 --> 00:52:55.610 I talk a lot as we were talking again before 00:52:55.610 --> 00:52:59.039 we hit record about how. There are some very 00:52:59.039 --> 00:53:01.719 actionable solutions to a lot of the issues that 00:53:01.719 --> 00:53:04.679 we have, especially in recruitment and retention, 00:53:04.820 --> 00:53:07.219 which obviously then feeds into physical and 00:53:07.219 --> 00:53:09.380 mental health in the first responder professions. 00:53:09.619 --> 00:53:12.219 But in the fire side, you know, the work week 00:53:12.219 --> 00:53:14.079 is a huge, huge thing. And now I think we're 00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:17.460 up to 10 or 11 departments. Yeah, that's amazing, 00:53:17.840 --> 00:53:20.360 by the way. You're doing good work. It's phenomenal. 00:53:20.539 --> 00:53:22.039 And every single one of them, I just shared a 00:53:22.039 --> 00:53:23.760 video today. They're like, our recruitment's 00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:25.780 gone through the roof. And we've got classes 00:53:25.780 --> 00:53:28.300 full of veteran firefighters and paramedics. 00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:31.400 And so we're seeing an actionable issue there 00:53:31.400 --> 00:53:33.860 now. Obviously, law enforcement is a little different. 00:53:33.980 --> 00:53:36.400 The work week is somewhat where it should be. 00:53:37.019 --> 00:53:39.239 Both of those professions, I would argue, just 00:53:39.239 --> 00:53:42.710 as you alluded to earlier. are the most beautiful 00:53:42.710 --> 00:53:44.849 and incredible callings, which is why you and 00:53:44.849 --> 00:53:46.690 I, even though we're not wearing a uniform, are 00:53:46.690 --> 00:53:49.369 still advocating for it. But it's the working 00:53:49.369 --> 00:53:51.329 environment. It's the working conditions that 00:53:51.329 --> 00:53:54.650 are broken. You're king for a day. What do we 00:53:54.650 --> 00:53:57.789 need to do on the law enforcement side to increase 00:53:57.789 --> 00:54:00.449 that level of recruitment so that you are able, 00:54:00.570 --> 00:54:04.170 once again, to pick that top? 10, 15, 20 % of 00:54:04.170 --> 00:54:08.010 the list and get those physically prepared, emotionally 00:54:08.010 --> 00:54:10.469 prepared young men and women that are going to 00:54:10.469 --> 00:54:12.269 be phenomenal police officers in the future? 00:54:14.929 --> 00:54:20.090 Re -institute the full physical complement, which 00:54:20.090 --> 00:54:24.110 we have an obstacle course, and then it's push 00:54:24.110 --> 00:54:28.329 -ups, the flexibility test. I would do a 300 00:54:28.329 --> 00:54:33.250 -meter sprint and then a shuttle run. And they 00:54:33.250 --> 00:54:37.929 don't necessarily have to score high on it, score 00:54:37.929 --> 00:54:41.909 like an academy would, because there is a physical 00:54:41.909 --> 00:54:44.949 test that they have to do three times to graduate 00:54:44.949 --> 00:54:47.190 from the academy, although that got fudged a 00:54:47.190 --> 00:54:51.090 little lately. So I would implement that. And 00:54:51.090 --> 00:54:55.130 I would keep in contact, whether it be by Zoom 00:54:55.130 --> 00:54:59.820 calls or phone calls. With the people that are 00:54:59.820 --> 00:55:04.420 going through the process, because they limited 00:55:04.420 --> 00:55:06.239 the recruiting and the background investigators 00:55:06.239 --> 00:55:08.940 so badly that there was no follow up, especially 00:55:08.940 --> 00:55:10.820 with the military veterans, because we're a huge 00:55:10.820 --> 00:55:13.460 military community. But those guys that are getting 00:55:13.460 --> 00:55:16.000 ready to get out in two months, they can't wait 00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:19.039 around. They're going to go home. But if you 00:55:19.039 --> 00:55:21.860 tell them, hey, we can pre hire you and you can 00:55:21.860 --> 00:55:27.070 come do ride alongs. And then I would. re -institute 00:55:27.070 --> 00:55:31.349 the prep class um for those people coming out 00:55:31.349 --> 00:55:33.889 while they're getting ready to class up that 00:55:33.889 --> 00:55:37.650 was the biggest thing we saw to get these to 00:55:37.650 --> 00:55:39.650 get these kids i call them kids but they are 00:55:39.650 --> 00:55:42.369 kids to me jazzed about what they were about 00:55:42.369 --> 00:55:47.909 to do because and and everybody likes to tell 00:55:47.909 --> 00:55:52.429 their war stories right but when i was And I 00:55:52.429 --> 00:55:54.670 learned from Jeff because Jeff was like, you 00:55:54.670 --> 00:55:57.550 get people to assimilate and then it's going 00:55:57.550 --> 00:55:59.989 to be the culture before they get into the culture. 00:56:00.949 --> 00:56:05.329 Those groups were so tight knit of 20 to 25 individuals 00:56:05.329 --> 00:56:08.070 that were consistently coming to the prep classes 00:56:08.070 --> 00:56:10.949 that the people that didn't come to the prep 00:56:10.949 --> 00:56:13.590 class, you were either going to assimilate into 00:56:13.590 --> 00:56:16.150 their academy class or they were going to bounce 00:56:16.150 --> 00:56:18.889 you because they weren't going to carry the dead 00:56:18.889 --> 00:56:22.360 wood. They would help. They were they were empathetic. 00:56:22.380 --> 00:56:24.300 They were compassionate. Hey, this is what you 00:56:24.300 --> 00:56:26.659 need to do. This is what we've been doing. Right. 00:56:26.960 --> 00:56:29.840 I had kids that would tell me, hey, we just went 00:56:29.840 --> 00:56:33.760 on a four mile run around the lake because that's 00:56:33.760 --> 00:56:35.400 where they do the mile and a half. They're like, 00:56:35.460 --> 00:56:37.500 we all passed it. Like, here are our numbers. 00:56:37.719 --> 00:56:40.059 How do I get how do I get stronger? Right. Like 00:56:40.059 --> 00:56:43.639 we had a full I was able to build a gym. It took 00:56:43.639 --> 00:56:46.079 me a two year fight. But we had a full we have 00:56:46.079 --> 00:56:49.860 a full sore next gym at our academy. So that's 00:56:49.860 --> 00:56:53.559 where these guys. learn and then they learned 00:56:53.559 --> 00:56:59.480 in the prep class you don't have to be like friendly 00:56:59.480 --> 00:57:01.860 but you don't have to be an academy instructor 00:57:01.860 --> 00:57:06.239 i want to know where you came from because i 00:57:06.239 --> 00:57:08.920 know and you know most of the people that get 00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:11.159 in this profession come from a place of trauma 00:57:11.159 --> 00:57:15.900 and what we want to weed out is the people that 00:57:15.900 --> 00:57:18.460 have not come to recognize their trauma and want 00:57:18.460 --> 00:57:21.559 to take it out on others And those that have 00:57:21.559 --> 00:57:24.639 recognized their trauma and want to prevent anyone 00:57:24.639 --> 00:57:28.019 else from going through it. And in that prep 00:57:28.019 --> 00:57:31.059 class, that's what we were able to find. We were 00:57:31.059 --> 00:57:34.219 able to find the women that their fathers were 00:57:34.219 --> 00:57:36.639 abusive or something had happened in their past 00:57:36.639 --> 00:57:39.800 and they wanted to help and they didn't have 00:57:39.800 --> 00:57:42.039 upper body strength. So now we're, you know, 00:57:42.059 --> 00:57:46.119 my wife is a very strong female. So they were 00:57:46.119 --> 00:57:50.420 able to find an example. I found kids that didn't 00:57:50.420 --> 00:57:52.659 have a good father figure that clearly were looking 00:57:52.659 --> 00:57:55.780 up to me. And then I was able to tell them the 00:57:55.780 --> 00:57:58.440 funny stories of law enforcement while still 00:57:58.440 --> 00:58:01.039 getting the message across. I told them that 00:58:01.039 --> 00:58:04.639 not everyone is cut out for this profession and 00:58:04.639 --> 00:58:07.099 you may make it. I told them that I have three 00:58:07.099 --> 00:58:09.480 hostage rescues under my belt. I rescued nine 00:58:09.480 --> 00:58:14.730 people. My first one was a military member. that 00:58:14.730 --> 00:58:17.010 there was a lieutenant there that actually was 00:58:17.010 --> 00:58:18.789 able to talk to him and we were able to sneak 00:58:18.789 --> 00:58:22.150 in and get his son out. I said, but he had us. 00:58:22.210 --> 00:58:25.210 He had rifles staged on his bed and he had us 00:58:25.210 --> 00:58:27.869 at the bay window, but he heard that man's voice 00:58:27.869 --> 00:58:30.789 and we were lucky and then we took him down. 00:58:30.929 --> 00:58:34.710 My second hostage rescue, when I went in to rescue 00:58:34.710 --> 00:58:37.829 the female, the entire entry team, to include 00:58:37.829 --> 00:58:40.750 a canine, didn't go in with me because they were 00:58:40.750 --> 00:58:43.820 scared. So I'm literally like trying to pass 00:58:43.820 --> 00:58:46.820 this girl off. And I'm like, I'm I'm in here 00:58:46.820 --> 00:58:49.579 alone. Right. And then the guy comes to the guy 00:58:49.579 --> 00:58:51.260 comes to that. We thought he was armed with a 00:58:51.260 --> 00:58:53.360 weapon. The guy comes to the top of the steps 00:58:53.360 --> 00:58:56.340 and he has basically a chain wallet. That's what 00:58:56.340 --> 00:58:59.219 he was faking. He had a knife against her, but 00:58:59.219 --> 00:59:02.380 he had left it. And I said, these are the things 00:59:02.380 --> 00:59:04.940 that it's not a normal profession. These are 00:59:04.940 --> 00:59:06.460 the things you can counter. And then they're 00:59:06.460 --> 00:59:08.820 like, well, what did you do? I said, I told the 00:59:08.820 --> 00:59:12.360 guy I had my weapon drawn. And then I knew he 00:59:12.360 --> 00:59:15.679 was not armed. I could see his hands. I holstered 00:59:15.679 --> 00:59:17.559 my weapon and said, hey, come down to me. You 00:59:17.559 --> 00:59:19.780 can take me hostage. And he fell for it. And 00:59:19.780 --> 00:59:24.119 then I nailed him on the steps. And exactly that. 00:59:24.219 --> 00:59:26.179 So then they start laughing. They're like, holy 00:59:26.179 --> 00:59:29.420 cow, this is the greatest job ever. When I went 00:59:29.420 --> 00:59:33.460 to the military, you have to get affable officers 00:59:33.460 --> 00:59:37.079 who are not just going to tell. the horrible 00:59:37.079 --> 00:59:39.039 stories and you don't want to talk about it and 00:59:39.039 --> 00:59:41.639 the shit you see. Like I always talk to my, my 00:59:41.639 --> 00:59:43.820 family about what I saw. I didn't go into the 00:59:43.820 --> 00:59:46.820 nitty gritty, but I spoke and I tell these kids, 00:59:46.920 --> 00:59:50.639 talk about it, talk about all of it. If you don't, 00:59:50.639 --> 00:59:53.079 it's going to come out in ways that you don't 00:59:53.079 --> 00:59:55.960 want it. So that would be the emotional intelligence 00:59:55.960 --> 00:59:59.400 piece that can start early. And then in the academy, 00:59:59.579 --> 01:00:04.360 you are not their friend. You, you. That's where 01:00:04.360 --> 01:00:08.099 the professionalism comes in. You don't let up 01:00:08.099 --> 01:00:14.239 on that. And you make them physically hard. But 01:00:14.239 --> 01:00:19.039 when they hit their little goals, give it to 01:00:19.039 --> 01:00:21.079 them. Tell them that that was hard. You made 01:00:21.079 --> 01:00:23.360 it. The best instructors I had in the military 01:00:23.360 --> 01:00:25.619 was when I knew I was faltering, but I knew I 01:00:25.619 --> 01:00:29.039 was giving my best. Realized it in me and would 01:00:29.039 --> 01:00:32.239 just lean down and whisper to me, you got it. 01:00:32.400 --> 01:00:35.239 And that was it. That's all I needed. They recognized 01:00:35.239 --> 01:00:37.760 me. They saw me. All right, let's finish this, 01:00:37.860 --> 01:00:40.900 right? So you have to get the right instructor 01:00:40.900 --> 01:00:44.639 cadre. And that's what always ticked me off is 01:00:44.639 --> 01:00:47.119 it was always the old boy network. Oh, you went 01:00:47.119 --> 01:00:49.699 off the street, go to the academy. And they thought 01:00:49.699 --> 01:00:53.920 training was just yelling at people. No, there 01:00:53.920 --> 01:00:57.900 is a way to stress inoculate in which sometimes, 01:00:58.059 --> 01:01:00.360 yeah, it will be the yelling. Absolutely. Sometimes 01:01:00.360 --> 01:01:02.980 it's just going to be that quiet demeanor. And 01:01:02.980 --> 01:01:05.360 having that physical presence that literally 01:01:05.360 --> 01:01:09.219 scares the shit. And you have to tell them, this 01:01:09.219 --> 01:01:12.059 is a suspect. If I was on the other side of the 01:01:12.059 --> 01:01:16.420 law and I knew by your countenance right now, 01:01:16.639 --> 01:01:18.719 I'm going to take you out. And you have to realize 01:01:18.719 --> 01:01:23.019 that. Because the job at its finest is, can you 01:01:23.019 --> 01:01:26.019 save a life? Can you take a life? Are you willing 01:01:26.019 --> 01:01:28.699 to risk your own to do one or both of those things? 01:01:29.139 --> 01:01:32.019 That's the highest end that this can get. And 01:01:32.019 --> 01:01:34.599 we just throw that away like we're fighting the 01:01:34.599 --> 01:01:37.119 evil you never see. Like that's it's it's crap 01:01:37.119 --> 01:01:41.420 because you can go 20 years and never be involved 01:01:41.420 --> 01:01:45.219 in any of it if you don't want to. And then after 01:01:45.219 --> 01:01:48.559 that, if I was king for a day, every department 01:01:48.559 --> 01:01:53.480 should bear minimum five years. No matter who 01:01:53.480 --> 01:01:56.360 you are, you are not coming out of uniform patrol. 01:01:57.260 --> 01:02:00.349 You're not coming out. Do your five years in 01:02:00.349 --> 01:02:03.329 uniform patrol. The way my department got ruined 01:02:03.329 --> 01:02:06.789 is favorites were picked, and all of a sudden 01:02:06.789 --> 01:02:09.590 at the two -year mark, you're writing these, 01:02:09.769 --> 01:02:13.289 they call them PVAs, where the position vacancy 01:02:13.289 --> 01:02:16.489 announcements, and all of a sudden you see very 01:02:16.489 --> 01:02:18.909 specific things written into that announcement 01:02:18.909 --> 01:02:22.570 that you know the 10 people they're getting ready 01:02:22.570 --> 01:02:26.280 to pick. That is demoralizing. And it's playing 01:02:26.280 --> 01:02:29.300 favorites, and that's the antithesis of what 01:02:29.300 --> 01:02:32.480 we should be about, right? I'm not saying it's 01:02:32.480 --> 01:02:35.559 totally based on your numbers or your statistics 01:02:35.559 --> 01:02:39.320 or whatever. That is horrible as well. But when 01:02:39.320 --> 01:02:40.840 you're playing favorites because this person 01:02:40.840 --> 01:02:45.440 eats lunch with you, I will never understand 01:02:45.440 --> 01:02:49.139 how the uppers think we're that dumb, that we 01:02:49.139 --> 01:02:53.190 don't get what's going on. that they're that 01:02:53.190 --> 01:02:55.010 insulated. They think, I don't give a shit if 01:02:55.010 --> 01:02:56.909 you know what I'm doing or not. Like I'm here, 01:02:56.969 --> 01:02:59.849 you're not here. So I would absolutely institute, 01:02:59.949 --> 01:03:01.769 you're not going anywhere for five years because 01:03:01.769 --> 01:03:04.889 at the three -year mark in law enforcement, you 01:03:04.889 --> 01:03:09.610 know your way and you know when you get stuck, 01:03:09.889 --> 01:03:13.130 who to ask for help. Like, all right, this is 01:03:13.130 --> 01:03:15.489 a complex case. Like I need to call this detective. 01:03:15.550 --> 01:03:17.610 He's worked with me. At the five -year mark, 01:03:17.869 --> 01:03:20.170 you're the one. Younger officers are calling 01:03:20.170 --> 01:03:22.750 and you've pretty much, you know how to solve 01:03:22.750 --> 01:03:25.489 a lot of things. And that's when you should start 01:03:25.489 --> 01:03:30.110 sergeant, detective, any of those things. Because 01:03:30.110 --> 01:03:34.909 when you do it young, it compresses everything. 01:03:35.050 --> 01:03:39.369 Because now, let's say you get to the narcotics 01:03:39.369 --> 01:03:41.630 unit at three years. Now you've been in there 01:03:41.630 --> 01:03:44.309 10 years because you're having fun. Now you know. 01:03:45.159 --> 01:03:47.519 Wow, like I'm taking up a spot and I've been 01:03:47.519 --> 01:03:49.679 here a long time. So now you're going to do stuff 01:03:49.679 --> 01:03:52.980 to avoid getting kicked out of narcotics. That's 01:03:52.980 --> 01:03:57.440 no longer the job. Right. And at five years, 01:03:57.599 --> 01:03:59.940 nobody's going to question your bona fides because 01:03:59.940 --> 01:04:02.199 you've been here for five years. And talking 01:04:02.199 --> 01:04:06.179 about the assimilation, it grounds you to that 01:04:06.179 --> 01:04:09.440 department. Now, now you've been there five years. 01:04:09.519 --> 01:04:12.320 Now you're vested. And when you see that this 01:04:12.320 --> 01:04:18.650 applies to everyone. it it it puts morale through 01:04:18.650 --> 01:04:20.750 the roof because now you now you know there's 01:04:20.750 --> 01:04:23.269 a system in place because all these uppers talk 01:04:23.269 --> 01:04:25.590 about well you know we have a process and everything 01:04:25.590 --> 01:04:27.329 but then all of a sudden when their buddy gets 01:04:27.329 --> 01:04:30.590 on the department or we had a lot of like um 01:04:30.590 --> 01:04:32.750 guys who came from the military with specialties 01:04:32.750 --> 01:04:34.389 now all of a sudden they're getting plucked for 01:04:34.389 --> 01:04:36.309 SWAT they're getting plucked for detective spots 01:04:36.309 --> 01:04:40.219 that's crap like that's not fair And that's and 01:04:40.219 --> 01:04:43.699 you're demoralizing the vast majority of your 01:04:43.699 --> 01:04:47.699 department. So your buddy gets a swing or a female 01:04:47.699 --> 01:04:51.760 gets a spot. And now I feel bad for her because 01:04:51.760 --> 01:04:54.380 everybody thinks they know why she got the spot. 01:04:54.539 --> 01:04:58.599 And she made it. She doesn't deserve that either. 01:04:58.679 --> 01:05:02.780 That happens a lot as well. We had we recently 01:05:02.780 --> 01:05:07.679 had a supervisor made. And they like went around 01:05:07.679 --> 01:05:10.860 and around to get a female captain on our department. 01:05:11.400 --> 01:05:15.440 And everybody knew the fix was in. And I love 01:05:15.440 --> 01:05:17.539 this girl. She was awesome. She's a good supervisor. 01:05:17.619 --> 01:05:20.480 She's a deserved captain. She got it early because 01:05:20.480 --> 01:05:22.719 they basically like made a spot, move this person 01:05:22.719 --> 01:05:25.079 over here. Now, guess what you've just done. 01:05:25.929 --> 01:05:28.090 everybody looks at her jaundiced and thinks, 01:05:28.110 --> 01:05:30.050 Oh, this is the only reason you got it. And then 01:05:30.050 --> 01:05:31.809 someone like me, that's like, nah, she deserved 01:05:31.809 --> 01:05:34.929 every bit of it. But even I was like, they shouldn't 01:05:34.929 --> 01:05:36.929 have done it this way because then you still 01:05:36.929 --> 01:05:40.170 have old men thinking, well, we, we did it. We, 01:05:40.250 --> 01:05:42.469 you know, we're the savior. We made it where 01:05:42.469 --> 01:05:44.110 if they had just waited a year, she would have 01:05:44.110 --> 01:05:48.150 got it the way she's supposed to. And I would 01:05:48.150 --> 01:05:53.949 take away any kind of merit pay or any kind of 01:05:53.949 --> 01:05:57.219 bump in. in pay that doesn't affect the entire 01:05:57.219 --> 01:06:00.119 department. We used to have a merit pay system 01:06:00.119 --> 01:06:05.559 and a major told me I was going to get it and 01:06:05.559 --> 01:06:10.320 I refused it. And he flipped his wig. He was 01:06:10.320 --> 01:06:13.739 so upset. He was like, what are you doing? I 01:06:13.739 --> 01:06:16.219 said, I don't believe in it. And I know what 01:06:16.219 --> 01:06:19.400 you're doing. Get us a pay plan. And he was like, 01:06:19.500 --> 01:06:22.699 you deserve this. I said, no, I don't. I said, 01:06:22.719 --> 01:06:25.019 I'll take that $1 ,000 and divide it among the 01:06:25.019 --> 01:06:26.980 400. Give everybody a dollar raise. I don't give 01:06:26.980 --> 01:06:31.500 a crap. I'm not taking it. And he was incensed 01:06:31.500 --> 01:06:33.900 because what they were doing was they were trying 01:06:33.900 --> 01:06:36.940 to give certain individuals this merit pay so 01:06:36.940 --> 01:06:38.840 that they would go back and see, oh, I got it. 01:06:38.840 --> 01:06:41.820 You got to do this. Like, get rid of all of that 01:06:41.820 --> 01:06:45.239 stuff. It should be above board. There should 01:06:45.239 --> 01:06:47.820 be boards you go through. There should be more 01:06:47.820 --> 01:06:50.420 people in the mix supervisory that say, yes, 01:06:50.480 --> 01:06:53.360 we sign off on this. And it's just a fair system. 01:06:54.460 --> 01:06:56.559 That's what I would do for King for a Day. And 01:06:56.559 --> 01:06:59.739 I would institute pay plans and pay people what 01:06:59.739 --> 01:07:03.179 they're worth. I love all of that. Going back 01:07:03.179 --> 01:07:05.860 to Second Hostage Rescue, did you then go and 01:07:05.860 --> 01:07:08.000 buy a T -shirt saying, actually, no one is coming 01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:13.579 to save me? I was in there on my own. Well, so 01:07:13.579 --> 01:07:16.760 yeah. So what this was, was there was a female, 01:07:17.039 --> 01:07:19.519 she was in the second story. This guy had been 01:07:19.519 --> 01:07:22.000 doing cocaine all day and he kept coming out 01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:24.260 and he was holding, it wound up being a wallet, 01:07:24.340 --> 01:07:25.460 but they thought it was a gun because it was 01:07:25.460 --> 01:07:27.699 at night. I was actually coming from the jail 01:07:27.699 --> 01:07:30.119 with my buddy and we hear it. I was like, oh, 01:07:30.159 --> 01:07:32.679 this sounds cool. And I was just getting ready 01:07:32.679 --> 01:07:35.300 to come on the SWAT team and they had done another 01:07:35.300 --> 01:07:38.280 hostage rescue. So I'm literally texting my buddies. 01:07:38.360 --> 01:07:39.400 I was like, you ain't going to come to this. 01:07:39.480 --> 01:07:44.420 I got this. there was a sergeant that was just 01:07:44.420 --> 01:07:46.480 kind of lost in the sauce, like couldn't figure 01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:48.699 out what to do. So I set up an entry team. We 01:07:48.699 --> 01:07:52.980 had canine and I wound up, the guy kept having 01:07:52.980 --> 01:07:55.460 to go into a bathroom and he would do snort more 01:07:55.460 --> 01:08:01.199 cocaine. She was at the window. I got her to 01:08:01.199 --> 01:08:03.880 throw the keys to the apartment down to us. So 01:08:03.880 --> 01:08:08.420 I surreptitiously opened the door and then I'm 01:08:08.420 --> 01:08:11.139 telling her, I was like, can you get. to the 01:08:11.139 --> 01:08:12.699 landing because i opened the door i could see 01:08:12.699 --> 01:08:14.380 there was a landing and then i shut the door 01:08:14.380 --> 01:08:16.659 again so i got the entry team stacked up she's 01:08:16.659 --> 01:08:18.220 like i think i can i was like next time he comes 01:08:18.220 --> 01:08:22.859 to the bathroom like go run well she was a larger 01:08:22.859 --> 01:08:26.319 gal and he had broken her leg and i didn't know 01:08:26.319 --> 01:08:31.779 that she was in a cast so she's he goes back 01:08:32.029 --> 01:08:34.130 He comes, threatens her, says he's going to shoot 01:08:34.130 --> 01:08:36.689 her, all this stuff. We're like talking. He goes 01:08:36.689 --> 01:08:39.109 back in the bathroom to do another bump. And 01:08:39.109 --> 01:08:42.649 I said, go now, go. So she goes, I'm going, I'm 01:08:42.649 --> 01:08:46.229 going. And then I hear her. I look to the entry 01:08:46.229 --> 01:08:49.470 team. And I was like, hey, we're going as soon 01:08:49.470 --> 01:08:51.409 as she gets to the landing. So I fling open the 01:08:51.409 --> 01:08:53.970 door. And then I see the cast. And she's a big 01:08:53.970 --> 01:08:56.369 lady. And she's like not even to the landing 01:08:56.369 --> 01:08:59.989 yet. And I'm like, oh, God. And then I hear him. 01:09:00.359 --> 01:09:03.300 And he comes running down to the landing. She 01:09:03.300 --> 01:09:07.199 kind of stumbles. I come in. She gets to the 01:09:07.199 --> 01:09:08.840 bottom. He's frozen on the landing because I 01:09:08.840 --> 01:09:11.819 have my weapon out. And then I grabbed her, and 01:09:11.819 --> 01:09:14.800 I was like, take her. And she's like, there's 01:09:14.800 --> 01:09:17.500 nobody there. And I'm like, what? And I'm literally, 01:09:17.699 --> 01:09:20.079 and these are the stories that, like, they're 01:09:20.079 --> 01:09:23.399 just, they're awesome. So I have to take my eyes 01:09:23.399 --> 01:09:25.460 off him. I'm so pointing. And I take my eyes 01:09:25.460 --> 01:09:27.479 off him, and I look around. I'm like, no shit. 01:09:27.619 --> 01:09:31.430 Nobody, really? right so i i like grabbed her 01:09:31.430 --> 01:09:34.590 and i said get the hostage so then they get her 01:09:34.590 --> 01:09:37.529 and he's on the landing now frozen and the the 01:09:37.529 --> 01:09:41.310 wallet is swinging so i was like oh you faking 01:09:41.310 --> 01:09:44.550 the fun so then i did i so i holstered the weapon 01:09:44.550 --> 01:09:46.909 and i told him i said come to me man come to 01:09:46.909 --> 01:09:49.329 me you can take me hostage and he's like for 01:09:49.329 --> 01:09:51.130 real for real i was like yeah man take me hostage 01:09:51.130 --> 01:09:53.710 we got her and he goes all right all right you're 01:09:53.710 --> 01:09:55.829 gonna shoot me you're gonna shoot me And I was 01:09:55.829 --> 01:09:58.409 like, no, no, no, no, no. Well, he comes down. 01:09:58.489 --> 01:10:01.670 Right. The second he comes down the steps, he's 01:10:01.670 --> 01:10:03.970 probably like three steps from the bottom. Here 01:10:03.970 --> 01:10:07.750 comes the entry team with rifles like all pointed 01:10:07.750 --> 01:10:10.050 right at him. And then he's like, you are going 01:10:10.050 --> 01:10:11.649 to shoot me. And he goes to turn. And then I 01:10:11.649 --> 01:10:15.430 just like speared him on the on the landing. 01:10:15.529 --> 01:10:19.409 And then the knife was was in there. And so then 01:10:19.409 --> 01:10:21.250 I went over the radio. I was like suspect in 01:10:21.250 --> 01:10:23.630 custody. And then I just couldn't help myself. 01:10:23.750 --> 01:10:26.810 I was like two L's and cool. And I'm coming out. 01:10:26.850 --> 01:10:31.890 I'm getting high fives. And the sergeant comes 01:10:31.890 --> 01:10:35.670 up to me and goes, hey, they want to see you 01:10:35.670 --> 01:10:38.210 at the command center. And I'm like, what do 01:10:38.210 --> 01:10:39.770 they got, like cheerleaders or something? She 01:10:39.770 --> 01:10:45.789 goes, I don't think so. And what wound up happening 01:10:45.789 --> 01:10:50.810 was the entry team called that they had failed 01:10:50.810 --> 01:10:53.710 to make entry. I didn't have my radio on, James. 01:10:53.850 --> 01:10:57.310 I'm not saying that's the smartest thing. I didn't 01:10:57.310 --> 01:11:00.050 hear that. And when they say they failed to make 01:11:00.050 --> 01:11:02.930 entry, no one accounted for me making entry. 01:11:03.229 --> 01:11:05.310 So the command center had been set up. They were 01:11:05.310 --> 01:11:08.510 they were paging out SWAT and they told them, 01:11:08.510 --> 01:11:11.270 do not enter the house. Right. Like they didn't 01:11:11.270 --> 01:11:13.710 go anyway. But so they said, do not enter the 01:11:13.710 --> 01:11:17.970 house. And I'm taking care of business. So then 01:11:17.970 --> 01:11:19.909 the entry team says, we have to enter. Cool's 01:11:19.909 --> 01:11:21.449 already in there. We have to enter. So then they 01:11:21.449 --> 01:11:24.670 entered. Gun's all blazing. I go across to the 01:11:24.670 --> 01:11:28.649 command center. And it's the captain of the SWAT 01:11:28.649 --> 01:11:31.630 team that's there. And he's like, what in the? 01:11:32.010 --> 01:11:35.279 I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey. I was like, I'm 01:11:35.279 --> 01:11:36.779 on the west side. This is the east side thing. 01:11:36.880 --> 01:11:38.720 I don't even think my radio was working. That's 01:11:38.720 --> 01:11:40.720 on you guys. Our equipment sucks. And I say, 01:11:40.819 --> 01:11:43.539 two L's and cool. Write the award. Your guys 01:11:43.539 --> 01:11:45.260 didn't have to get up. I heard you had a late 01:11:45.260 --> 01:11:47.819 night like two nights ago. And thank God he starts 01:11:47.819 --> 01:11:50.920 laughing. And he's like, get out of here. Get 01:11:50.920 --> 01:11:53.000 out of here. The chief's coming. Get out of here. 01:11:53.079 --> 01:11:57.020 So I was like, OK. So, yeah. So that was my. 01:11:57.119 --> 01:11:58.619 Yeah, I guess I should have had a T -shirt made. 01:11:59.119 --> 01:12:04.699 And what came out of that was the. A lot of the 01:12:04.699 --> 01:12:07.939 younger guys, the canine guy apologized to me, 01:12:07.960 --> 01:12:12.180 had the dog apologize to me. And one of one of 01:12:12.180 --> 01:12:14.920 the guys, because I had already made a name for 01:12:14.920 --> 01:12:17.640 myself and I was different. And don't get me 01:12:17.640 --> 01:12:21.840 wrong, like I had an ego on me because it was 01:12:21.840 --> 01:12:24.739 a natural offshoot of everyone was telling me 01:12:24.739 --> 01:12:26.359 you can't operate like this, like that's not 01:12:26.359 --> 01:12:28.640 how cops are, like you're not what we want. So 01:12:28.640 --> 01:12:32.819 I was having success and I didn't understand 01:12:32.819 --> 01:12:35.699 how. My success is the department's success. 01:12:35.840 --> 01:12:38.319 Like, why am I continually being brought into 01:12:38.319 --> 01:12:41.600 offices and being told I'm doing wrong? But hey, 01:12:41.680 --> 01:12:44.420 get back out there and do it again. It was so 01:12:44.420 --> 01:12:48.779 infuriating to me. So I turned off a lot of the 01:12:48.779 --> 01:12:52.039 younger officers and that was to my detriment 01:12:52.039 --> 01:12:54.619 because I could have been helping a lot more 01:12:54.619 --> 01:12:58.800 people a lot sooner. But I was like, it's just 01:12:58.800 --> 01:13:01.720 me and everybody can go F themselves. Like, I'm 01:13:01.720 --> 01:13:05.000 going to do it, right? And part of my trauma 01:13:05.000 --> 01:13:09.539 was I was very self -sacrificial. So part of 01:13:09.539 --> 01:13:12.300 me going in like that was I'm already dead anyway. 01:13:12.539 --> 01:13:15.399 Like that's and that's how my entire SWAT career. 01:13:15.960 --> 01:13:18.699 That's how I thought, because that's how, you 01:13:18.699 --> 01:13:21.020 know, Musashi thought and all the warriors thought 01:13:21.020 --> 01:13:23.960 like you're already dead. The battle has already 01:13:23.960 --> 01:13:25.960 happened. Whatever's going to happen has happened. 01:13:26.020 --> 01:13:29.539 So I internalize that like and it made me a better 01:13:29.539 --> 01:13:32.470 operator. But sometimes it made me a dick. So 01:13:32.470 --> 01:13:34.470 I was like, you guys aren't me. Like, get away. 01:13:34.810 --> 01:13:37.149 One of the guys who became my very good friend, 01:13:37.350 --> 01:13:40.770 Mike Jones, he came up to me and he goes, I hated 01:13:40.770 --> 01:13:44.130 you right before that call. I hated you. And 01:13:44.130 --> 01:13:46.010 he goes, all I ever heard was these more cool 01:13:46.010 --> 01:13:48.949 stories and cool stories. And he goes, I tell 01:13:48.949 --> 01:13:51.529 everybody now, like, you can believe all them 01:13:51.529 --> 01:13:53.529 cool stories are bullshit until you find yourself 01:13:53.529 --> 01:13:56.109 in the middle of a cool story. And I had a lot 01:13:56.109 --> 01:14:00.069 of that because the empathy and compassion led 01:14:00.069 --> 01:14:03.420 me like to. to strange places, strange calls 01:14:03.420 --> 01:14:05.699 in the middle of neighborhoods, in the middle 01:14:05.699 --> 01:14:10.680 of gangs. Like it just finding the good in the 01:14:10.680 --> 01:14:15.159 surrounding areas pointed me to cartels, human 01:14:15.159 --> 01:14:18.420 traffickers, the worst gang members. The third 01:14:18.420 --> 01:14:23.520 hostage rescue I did was I had become friends 01:14:23.520 --> 01:14:28.340 with a nine trade gang member who was abducted. 01:14:28.720 --> 01:14:32.579 With five members of his family and hold up in 01:14:32.579 --> 01:14:36.840 a hotel. And he was texting me during it. And 01:14:36.840 --> 01:14:39.619 the other gang members that were literally selling 01:14:39.619 --> 01:14:42.100 his stuff on Facebook live because they had orders 01:14:42.100 --> 01:14:45.619 from New York. They would never have believed 01:14:45.619 --> 01:14:48.359 he was talking to a detective. And I was able 01:14:48.359 --> 01:14:51.840 to get him out under a ruse that he was going 01:14:51.840 --> 01:14:54.039 to get more money. And then we wound up taking 01:14:54.039 --> 01:14:56.920 these guys down. And those guys ate 30 years. 01:14:57.550 --> 01:15:02.489 And it was all because this one kid, he watched 01:15:02.489 --> 01:15:04.770 his best friend get executed in his driveway. 01:15:05.010 --> 01:15:06.810 I probably told this story in the first podcast. 01:15:07.270 --> 01:15:12.289 And the detectives that showed up thought he 01:15:12.289 --> 01:15:16.270 had to be in on it because he was stone -faced. 01:15:16.970 --> 01:15:20.369 He didn't belie any emotions. The rest of the 01:15:20.369 --> 01:15:21.869 gang had showed up. They were going to go get 01:15:21.869 --> 01:15:24.250 retribution. And the detectives were like, hey, 01:15:24.270 --> 01:15:25.810 we're looking at him for this. And I was like, 01:15:25.869 --> 01:15:29.399 he didn't do it. And they were like, he's a gang 01:15:29.399 --> 01:15:31.180 member. You know, he did. I was like, he didn't 01:15:31.180 --> 01:15:34.060 do it. And I said, I got here first. His mother 01:15:34.060 --> 01:15:37.020 called me. And when I went up to his room, he 01:15:37.020 --> 01:15:38.760 cried on my shoulder for about five minutes. 01:15:39.239 --> 01:15:42.199 I held him. And then as soon as he was done with 01:15:42.199 --> 01:15:44.880 that, he looked at me and the shark came back 01:15:44.880 --> 01:15:46.579 in his eyes. He's like, I got to go downstairs. 01:15:47.140 --> 01:15:49.699 I said, all right, I'll go with you. But as soon 01:15:49.699 --> 01:15:52.260 as the detective showed up, because in their 01:15:52.260 --> 01:15:56.239 minds, someone who saw that doesn't act like 01:15:56.239 --> 01:15:59.460 that. But that's your perspective. That's how 01:15:59.460 --> 01:16:02.159 you came up. This kid can't show emotion to other 01:16:02.159 --> 01:16:05.380 gang members. That's weak. That's soft. And then 01:16:05.380 --> 01:16:08.760 he loses his game. And through that interaction 01:16:08.760 --> 01:16:12.380 with him, that's what led him to trust me enough 01:16:12.380 --> 01:16:15.479 when his life was at risk. Like, I still have 01:16:15.479 --> 01:16:19.119 the text messages. That's the one case when I 01:16:19.119 --> 01:16:23.039 left, when I retired, I took pieces of that case 01:16:23.039 --> 01:16:29.699 because that was. That was me at my best. Because 01:16:29.699 --> 01:16:33.239 if I had treated that kid like most officers 01:16:33.239 --> 01:16:36.840 would have treated that kid, he would have died. 01:16:37.779 --> 01:16:42.979 And that would have been on me. And who knows, 01:16:43.100 --> 01:16:47.100 you know, he could have been, you know, involved 01:16:47.100 --> 01:16:50.380 in other things. But in that moment, he was a 01:16:50.380 --> 01:16:54.270 kid that was worth saving. And I've kept up with 01:16:54.270 --> 01:16:56.670 him. He went back to prison, but it was a burglary 01:16:56.670 --> 01:16:58.489 that nobody was in the house. So he was pretty 01:16:58.489 --> 01:17:01.930 proud of himself. But I keep up with his mom 01:17:01.930 --> 01:17:05.890 and stuff like that. And when I retired, talking 01:17:05.890 --> 01:17:09.529 about the transition, that's what messed me up 01:17:09.529 --> 01:17:11.869 the most. And I didn't think it was going to 01:17:11.869 --> 01:17:17.590 happen to me, but it did. So I had my tactical 01:17:17.590 --> 01:17:22.439 Instagram. When I retired, they were all asking 01:17:22.439 --> 01:17:25.979 me because that Instagram came up because the 01:17:25.979 --> 01:17:29.260 people at prep class had a recruiter that was 01:17:29.260 --> 01:17:32.279 basically telling them that he offered life coaching 01:17:32.279 --> 01:17:35.260 services and all this stuff. And I was like, 01:17:35.319 --> 01:17:37.939 what? And they were like, do we have to follow 01:17:37.939 --> 01:17:39.920 you on Instagram? I was like, I don't even have 01:17:39.920 --> 01:17:41.579 an Instagram. Like, what is Instagram? What are 01:17:41.579 --> 01:17:43.239 you talking about? And they were like, well, 01:17:43.300 --> 01:17:45.659 we kind of like your philosophy on things. And 01:17:45.659 --> 01:17:47.939 it was just, you know, this other guy tells us 01:17:47.939 --> 01:17:50.600 that he can do life coaching and he was going 01:17:50.600 --> 01:17:53.060 to charge them. And I'm like, what? I was like, 01:17:53.180 --> 01:17:55.319 no, I'll start an Instagram. You guys can talk 01:17:55.319 --> 01:17:59.060 to me through that. And then what wound up happening 01:17:59.060 --> 01:18:01.300 with Tactical, because it's a play on words, 01:18:01.359 --> 01:18:06.479 obviously, the kids in the neighborhood started 01:18:06.479 --> 01:18:07.920 asking me, you have an Instagram, you have an 01:18:07.920 --> 01:18:09.979 IG? And I was like, yeah, it's Tactical. So all 01:18:09.979 --> 01:18:12.560 of a sudden I started getting. police recruits 01:18:12.560 --> 01:18:15.739 and gang members and everybody would DM me. And 01:18:15.739 --> 01:18:19.199 it just kind of, it grew from there. And when 01:18:19.199 --> 01:18:21.779 I retired a lot, I called them my little army 01:18:21.779 --> 01:18:26.119 and it was, it was kids from gangs. Kids had 01:18:26.119 --> 01:18:30.140 been affected from gangs. I got college scholarships 01:18:30.140 --> 01:18:34.170 for some of these kids. So I followed them. Some 01:18:34.170 --> 01:18:36.210 of them became guidance counselors. Some of them 01:18:36.210 --> 01:18:38.609 became teachers. I have one doctor in the mix. 01:18:38.869 --> 01:18:40.909 So they were like, hey, you can't drop this. 01:18:40.989 --> 01:18:43.350 We have to be able to contact you. And they were 01:18:43.350 --> 01:18:45.029 like, can I have your personal number? I was 01:18:45.029 --> 01:18:47.350 like, absolutely not. And I said, I'll tell you 01:18:47.350 --> 01:18:49.329 what I'll do. I said, I'll retire the Instagram. 01:18:49.430 --> 01:18:51.529 I won't post anything because they wanted it 01:18:51.529 --> 01:18:55.149 to be theirs. So I said, everything I did with 01:18:55.149 --> 01:18:58.270 you guys, that's where it stops. All my phrases, 01:18:58.310 --> 01:19:01.430 all my stuff, that's where it stops. I will leave. 01:19:01.880 --> 01:19:04.039 The DMs and the stories, and you guys can follow 01:19:04.039 --> 01:19:07.199 that, and you guys can talk to me whenever. So 01:19:07.199 --> 01:19:11.640 I retired in January, and in February, there 01:19:11.640 --> 01:19:14.119 was a really bad incident in my city where a 01:19:14.119 --> 01:19:21.300 mom killed her children, and I knew those kids. 01:19:21.840 --> 01:19:28.560 And while it was happening, the police, and this 01:19:28.560 --> 01:19:31.939 was just a tactical decision. They didn't go 01:19:31.939 --> 01:19:34.699 in right away because the offender they felt 01:19:34.699 --> 01:19:38.260 was still armed and was directly behind the door. 01:19:39.819 --> 01:19:43.439 What they discovered was there was a the young 01:19:43.439 --> 01:19:47.180 son might still have been alive because they're 01:19:47.180 --> 01:19:50.680 pretty sure they heard screaming and they couldn't 01:19:50.680 --> 01:19:52.859 tell whether it was the woman or whether it was 01:19:52.859 --> 01:19:58.260 the kid. So police wise, you make those decisions 01:19:58.260 --> 01:20:01.720 and you have to live with them. What messed me 01:20:01.720 --> 01:20:07.479 up was I'm getting I'm getting I don't know how 01:20:07.479 --> 01:20:10.079 many DMs because it was a neighborhood I worked 01:20:10.079 --> 01:20:12.579 and they were telling me who the kids were and 01:20:12.579 --> 01:20:15.359 they were telling me who the mom was because 01:20:15.359 --> 01:20:17.180 I had interactions with the mom. I'd actually 01:20:17.180 --> 01:20:20.840 helped her with we have the Buffalo family that 01:20:20.840 --> 01:20:25.300 does like homeless stuff and gives food. And 01:20:25.300 --> 01:20:30.720 they were they were they were. I apologize, James. 01:20:30.840 --> 01:20:34.060 This is going to take a bit. They were begging 01:20:34.060 --> 01:20:38.800 me to get out there. And they were telling me 01:20:38.800 --> 01:20:43.500 that they knew I would have already been in the 01:20:43.500 --> 01:20:47.659 house. And what's going on? And why is this happening? 01:20:47.979 --> 01:20:52.600 And they're taking too long. And I just kept 01:20:52.600 --> 01:20:55.039 talking to them. And then I started getting contacted 01:20:55.039 --> 01:21:01.550 by officers. they're like we miss you we needed 01:21:01.550 --> 01:21:07.229 you this isn't this isn't gonna be okay um and 01:21:07.229 --> 01:21:12.050 i i'm the guy that like through the 25 years 01:21:12.050 --> 01:21:18.069 i never had uh the any kind of mental health 01:21:18.069 --> 01:21:20.949 like even with the divorces and all that stuff 01:21:20.949 --> 01:21:24.050 the job was my safe place like that's where i 01:21:24.050 --> 01:21:27.279 could be better that's where i put All that empathy, 01:21:27.420 --> 01:21:30.000 compassion and love like that was that was my 01:21:30.000 --> 01:21:32.260 safe spot. Like no matter what I was doing, I 01:21:32.260 --> 01:21:34.079 knew I was doing good. I was new. I knew I was 01:21:34.079 --> 01:21:36.220 trying to be correct. That's where I could be 01:21:36.220 --> 01:21:39.479 my best version. And I never thought I would 01:21:39.479 --> 01:21:43.279 be the guy that after it was gone, I would ever 01:21:43.279 --> 01:21:47.420 feel useless or worthless or and I felt the most 01:21:47.420 --> 01:21:50.000 useless as a human being I've ever felt in my 01:21:50.000 --> 01:21:55.810 life. And I knew rationally I was retired. I 01:21:55.810 --> 01:22:00.130 earned my retirement. But emotionally, nope. 01:22:02.810 --> 01:22:05.329 It's because of that empathy, because of that 01:22:05.329 --> 01:22:07.090 compassion, because of that love, and because 01:22:07.090 --> 01:22:09.909 the juxtaposition of, I knew why the police were 01:22:09.909 --> 01:22:12.670 doing what they were doing, because it's risky. 01:22:13.649 --> 01:22:15.890 And I know why these people in the neighborhood 01:22:15.890 --> 01:22:20.149 are like, you need to get out here. They're doing 01:22:20.149 --> 01:22:24.659 this wrong. And while one was a huge compliment 01:22:24.659 --> 01:22:31.460 to me, the other was me realizing that how I 01:22:31.460 --> 01:22:34.159 approached it is not the only approach, right? 01:22:34.260 --> 01:22:37.460 Like my 30 seconds of calculated crazy, it's 01:22:37.460 --> 01:22:40.939 not tactical. It isn't. It's nothing I would 01:22:40.939 --> 01:22:43.260 put on someone else. And this is where I get 01:22:43.260 --> 01:22:45.420 mad at some of the Monday morning quarterbacking 01:22:45.420 --> 01:22:48.060 from people that were like, just because it works 01:22:48.060 --> 01:22:51.140 doesn't mean that it's a good tactic. But it 01:22:51.140 --> 01:22:55.210 worked. And, and sometimes that's the play 30 01:22:55.210 --> 01:22:57.449 seconds of calculated crazy solves a lot of shit, 01:22:57.529 --> 01:23:00.329 but it's, it's nothing that you can teach courage 01:23:00.329 --> 01:23:05.710 isn't a tactic, but it should be in us. So it 01:23:05.710 --> 01:23:08.829 just, it crushed me. And then, and then I wanted 01:23:08.829 --> 01:23:11.369 to get rid of my Instagram and I wanted to stop 01:23:11.369 --> 01:23:14.970 talking to everybody. And my wife was like, you 01:23:14.970 --> 01:23:17.439 can't do that. And she's like, take. Take time. 01:23:17.739 --> 01:23:20.079 And what wound up happening, James, was everything 01:23:20.079 --> 01:23:24.399 you hear about people that are in crisis. For 01:23:24.399 --> 01:23:26.899 the next, like, I have a lot of animals and I 01:23:26.899 --> 01:23:29.600 live out in the country. I have a gym totally 01:23:29.600 --> 01:23:34.079 outside. I stopped. I stopped. And I would tell 01:23:34.079 --> 01:23:36.800 myself, you got to work out today. And I was 01:23:36.800 --> 01:23:40.880 like, nope. And my daughter, who's like me, she 01:23:40.880 --> 01:23:44.039 just graduated from Virginia Tech. I didn't want 01:23:44.039 --> 01:23:46.369 to talk to her. And that's when I knew I was 01:23:46.369 --> 01:23:49.010 like, all right, we're faltering here. Like something's 01:23:49.010 --> 01:23:54.350 goofed. And for about almost two months, I just 01:23:54.350 --> 01:23:57.789 got up and I would sit in a chair and I would 01:23:57.789 --> 01:24:01.170 doom scroll and then get off it. And then it 01:24:01.170 --> 01:24:02.810 just kept getting worse and worse and worse. 01:24:03.170 --> 01:24:06.250 And luckily for me, because I listened to people 01:24:06.250 --> 01:24:08.869 who had been through it, I had been through courses. 01:24:09.130 --> 01:24:12.090 It wasn't unknown to me. I didn't consider myself 01:24:12.090 --> 01:24:15.239 weak. I went and I saw my doc and I said, hey, 01:24:15.300 --> 01:24:19.140 here's what's going on. And talk therapy really 01:24:19.140 --> 01:24:21.859 didn't doesn't really do much to me. But what 01:24:21.859 --> 01:24:25.739 I wound up getting, I got on some antidepressants, 01:24:25.739 --> 01:24:28.859 got some sleep meds and then weaned myself off 01:24:28.859 --> 01:24:31.460 as it as it started getting better. And that's 01:24:31.460 --> 01:24:36.539 just my route. But people need to realize you 01:24:36.539 --> 01:24:39.899 have to you have to realize like I knew and it 01:24:39.899 --> 01:24:43.310 was because. 30 years ago, we didn't discuss 01:24:43.310 --> 01:24:46.710 that stuff. You just ate it and maybe you swallow 01:24:46.710 --> 01:24:48.510 your service weapon, maybe you get drunk, maybe 01:24:48.510 --> 01:24:51.409 you don't. Because of all the advancements and 01:24:51.409 --> 01:24:56.289 these are the signs, and I did not consider myself 01:24:56.289 --> 01:24:59.390 weak. And the second part, I didn't consider 01:24:59.390 --> 01:25:03.310 myself a burden. I knew offloading this to my 01:25:03.310 --> 01:25:07.350 wife, talking to some friends, forcing myself 01:25:07.350 --> 01:25:11.680 to be vulnerable. I wasn't being a burden to 01:25:11.680 --> 01:25:14.039 anybody. It was the people that loved me. And 01:25:14.039 --> 01:25:16.680 I listened to all this as a police officer. I, 01:25:16.720 --> 01:25:19.439 I didn't, I didn't ever make a gang member feel 01:25:19.439 --> 01:25:21.840 that he was a burden to me because, Hey, I'm 01:25:21.840 --> 01:25:23.600 criminally minded, but here's what I want to 01:25:23.600 --> 01:25:25.659 tell you. All right, I'll listen. And I'm going 01:25:25.659 --> 01:25:27.720 to try to make corrections where I can. And I'm 01:25:27.720 --> 01:25:29.859 not always going to agree with you, but I need 01:25:29.859 --> 01:25:33.760 you to talk to me. So that, that was, and I never, 01:25:33.819 --> 01:25:37.539 like the ego part of me was, that was a part 01:25:37.539 --> 01:25:43.810 of the. the three weeks of not wanting to realize 01:25:43.810 --> 01:25:47.569 it. Because I was like, no way, no way. 25 years, 01:25:47.609 --> 01:25:50.609 I didn't have this problem. One of the last things 01:25:50.609 --> 01:25:53.050 that happened when I was at the command is my 01:25:53.050 --> 01:25:57.310 best friend got busted in fraud and got arrested. 01:25:57.930 --> 01:26:02.010 Like that, I was good. The guy I rolled with 01:26:02.010 --> 01:26:05.090 wound up, he's in prison right now because he 01:26:05.090 --> 01:26:07.920 was abusing his stepdaughter. That threw me for 01:26:07.920 --> 01:26:10.279 a loop, but I was able to, like the job, I'm 01:26:10.279 --> 01:26:16.699 doing the job. Not being in the job and not being 01:26:16.699 --> 01:26:23.140 able to affect anything in that course of action 01:26:23.140 --> 01:26:31.500 crushed me. And it's not quite the same as the 01:26:31.500 --> 01:26:34.760 job is your identity, but it was part and parcel 01:26:34.760 --> 01:26:39.520 to that. I was internalizing I should have been 01:26:39.520 --> 01:26:41.659 there. I could have been there. Did you retire 01:26:41.659 --> 01:26:46.340 too early? Is this what happened? And I just 01:26:46.340 --> 01:26:48.119 never thought that that would be me, but it was. 01:26:48.479 --> 01:26:51.260 And thankfully now, like, you know, I'm on the 01:26:51.260 --> 01:26:54.399 mend. And then I started getting serious about 01:26:54.399 --> 01:26:58.119 my neck and fixing everything. And it kind of 01:26:58.119 --> 01:27:01.020 it kind of opened me up. And now I'm on a routine. 01:27:01.159 --> 01:27:03.880 I get I get my purpose. You know, I have my my 01:27:03.880 --> 01:27:09.119 youngest son. And I, I feel, I always felt for 01:27:09.119 --> 01:27:14.159 officers that, that, that happens too. Um, but 01:27:14.159 --> 01:27:17.659 now I have, and now I have another, another arrow 01:27:17.659 --> 01:27:20.340 to, to help somebody else with if, if they have, 01:27:20.380 --> 01:27:22.319 and I have officers talk to me all the time about 01:27:22.319 --> 01:27:24.699 retirement and the transition and stuff like 01:27:24.699 --> 01:27:27.819 that, but I never thought that was, that was 01:27:27.819 --> 01:27:31.100 going to occur. And it did. And it, and the universe 01:27:31.100 --> 01:27:33.520 always, every time you think you got it, you 01:27:33.520 --> 01:27:36.300 got to figure it out. Like. It'll show you. No, 01:27:36.359 --> 01:27:41.380 you don't. So I don't want to go through anything 01:27:41.380 --> 01:27:43.560 like that again. But yeah, it was an eye -opener. 01:27:43.659 --> 01:27:48.020 And that was like two months into my retirement. 01:27:50.300 --> 01:27:53.840 I've said this on here quite a few times. One 01:27:53.840 --> 01:27:57.140 of the most crushing things in uniform is the 01:27:57.140 --> 01:28:00.220 inability to save. Simply, and I've said this 01:28:00.220 --> 01:28:02.140 many times, I was a complete black cloud. So 01:28:02.140 --> 01:28:04.359 not only did I have a lot of horrible shit, but 01:28:04.359 --> 01:28:09.100 I never had a cardiac arrest safe in 14 years, 01:28:09.239 --> 01:28:12.659 not one. And most people have at least one or 01:28:12.659 --> 01:28:16.060 two to hang their hat on. And then even with 01:28:16.060 --> 01:28:19.640 that purpose, what we're able to do while we're 01:28:19.640 --> 01:28:22.060 on an ambulance, in a fire engine, working in 01:28:22.060 --> 01:28:24.659 a squad car. You have the tools, you have the 01:28:24.659 --> 01:28:26.600 team to really facilitate these issues. And I 01:28:26.600 --> 01:28:28.699 had an experience working a cardiac arrest on 01:28:28.699 --> 01:28:30.939 a plane about a year and a half ago in the tarmac 01:28:30.939 --> 01:28:33.699 of Heathrow Airport. I didn't have any of that. 01:28:33.819 --> 01:28:36.159 And that was, again, like crushing because I 01:28:36.159 --> 01:28:38.279 know if we'd had that team, the outcome might 01:28:38.279 --> 01:28:41.539 have been the same, but that person would have 01:28:41.539 --> 01:28:44.560 had the full gamut of what you need to do to 01:28:44.560 --> 01:28:46.819 respond to a cardiac arrest. And instead, we 01:28:46.819 --> 01:28:49.850 had this kind of dripping of... some of the right 01:28:49.850 --> 01:28:51.449 equipment some of the wrong equipment working 01:28:51.449 --> 01:28:54.210 them in the middle of an aisle of a plane um 01:28:54.210 --> 01:28:56.310 with only one person that works in emergency 01:28:56.310 --> 01:28:59.829 medicine on the whole plane um so you know it's 01:28:59.829 --> 01:29:04.909 that that purpose i think is It's hard to transition 01:29:04.909 --> 01:29:07.270 to like, how can I still have that purpose but 01:29:07.270 --> 01:29:10.210 be in this new phase? I'm not wearing the uniform 01:29:10.210 --> 01:29:11.850 now. You know, what does that look like now? 01:29:12.010 --> 01:29:15.430 But I think that transition also bolsters that 01:29:15.430 --> 01:29:17.750 empathy like you're talking about. Every time 01:29:17.750 --> 01:29:19.170 you've worked through one of these challenges 01:29:19.170 --> 01:29:21.649 and you come out the other side, you're able 01:29:21.649 --> 01:29:24.449 to be more empathetic. So you had that empathy, 01:29:24.529 --> 01:29:26.630 that compassion when you were working in the 01:29:26.630 --> 01:29:30.130 uniform. But now this next crucible that you 01:29:30.130 --> 01:29:32.409 had to work through. When you hear that people 01:29:32.409 --> 01:29:34.189 are struggling with their transition, you're 01:29:34.189 --> 01:29:37.590 like, well, I've been there too now. I can empathize. 01:29:37.590 --> 01:29:40.109 So it does become a beautiful strength. But the 01:29:40.109 --> 01:29:43.090 key is obviously, as you said, recognizing it 01:29:43.090 --> 01:29:46.720 early enough and then understanding that. the 01:29:46.720 --> 01:29:49.260 toolbox to work with this is so huge and it could 01:29:49.260 --> 01:29:51.579 just be, you know, some antidepressants and sleeping 01:29:51.579 --> 01:29:54.020 pills for a bit. It could be an Ibogaine journey. 01:29:54.140 --> 01:29:56.800 It could be equine therapy. It could be a number 01:29:56.800 --> 01:29:59.659 of those things, but that, you know, that hope 01:29:59.659 --> 01:30:01.880 of working through and that post -traumatic growth, 01:30:01.960 --> 01:30:05.500 I think that is so important in a transition 01:30:05.500 --> 01:30:08.579 story because you're still that same kind, compassionate 01:30:08.579 --> 01:30:10.640 human being. You're still that warrior in the 01:30:10.640 --> 01:30:14.760 garden, but your garden has changed. Yep. Yeah. 01:30:14.939 --> 01:30:18.079 And that was, Like even even getting getting 01:30:18.079 --> 01:30:21.619 the because, you know, medicine is taking a hit. 01:30:22.500 --> 01:30:26.000 I never had a primary care doc. I just I just 01:30:26.000 --> 01:30:29.100 didn't. So getting on an age, I got a primary 01:30:29.100 --> 01:30:31.899 care. And then when I when I spoke with her, 01:30:32.000 --> 01:30:36.300 I said, listen, I I need to feel this out. And 01:30:36.300 --> 01:30:38.359 if you're not the one, you're not the one. She 01:30:38.359 --> 01:30:43.480 was awesome. She she literally told me. what 01:30:43.480 --> 01:30:45.140 we're going to do is we're going to get, you 01:30:45.140 --> 01:30:47.239 know, low dose and this. And she goes, I work 01:30:47.239 --> 01:30:49.100 with a lot of you just because the area, like 01:30:49.100 --> 01:30:50.600 we're in Virginia beach. So there's military 01:30:50.600 --> 01:30:53.779 law enforcement, everything. And she said, and 01:30:53.779 --> 01:30:58.300 she asked diet, well, how's your sleep? And she 01:30:58.300 --> 01:30:59.920 goes, are you working out? And I said, I've stopped 01:30:59.920 --> 01:31:01.520 working out. She goes, all right, what we're 01:31:01.520 --> 01:31:03.439 going to do is, and then she asked me about talk 01:31:03.439 --> 01:31:05.939 therapy. And I said, I was, I was mandated to 01:31:05.939 --> 01:31:07.260 go through it because of some of the incidents. 01:31:07.399 --> 01:31:09.779 I said, it didn't really. Do anything for me. 01:31:09.800 --> 01:31:12.199 I don't know whether it was the vibe or whatever. 01:31:13.420 --> 01:31:15.699 So she goes, I want to go low dose. And she goes, 01:31:15.779 --> 01:31:18.140 you have to promise me you're honest with me. 01:31:18.220 --> 01:31:21.439 And she goes, and I want you to start working 01:31:21.439 --> 01:31:23.100 out. What do you enjoy? And I told her, I was 01:31:23.100 --> 01:31:25.539 like, I enjoy training. She goes, have you trained? 01:31:25.659 --> 01:31:28.880 I said, no. She goes, I, as much as you can force 01:31:28.880 --> 01:31:31.739 yourself back into that routine. And that was 01:31:31.739 --> 01:31:35.119 the game changer was going on the low dose, figuring 01:31:35.119 --> 01:31:38.250 out. And then I just, it just. built on itself. 01:31:38.630 --> 01:31:40.489 And she was awesome. And she was like, all right, 01:31:40.489 --> 01:31:42.109 now we're ready to pull you off this. And we're 01:31:42.109 --> 01:31:45.310 going to try that. And that was, that was absolutely 01:31:45.310 --> 01:31:48.090 game changing. So, and that was just my journey. 01:31:48.369 --> 01:31:51.409 And I've had other officers. They continually 01:31:51.409 --> 01:31:54.649 ask about how's retirement. Are you ready for 01:31:54.649 --> 01:31:56.930 retirement? And that's the saddest thing. I'm 01:31:56.930 --> 01:31:59.649 sure you find it in the fire service. I don't 01:31:59.649 --> 01:32:02.430 know why these guys think it's going to last 01:32:02.430 --> 01:32:06.880 forever, but that's. That is the biggest conversation 01:32:06.880 --> 01:32:09.960 I've had because I retired young. I retired at 01:32:09.960 --> 01:32:15.460 50 on the dot. And I had already socked away 01:32:15.460 --> 01:32:19.279 enough money in my ICMA account that that's my 01:32:19.279 --> 01:32:22.300 passive income. And then I have my pension, obviously. 01:32:22.520 --> 01:32:26.779 And that was the goal. And I talked to guys that 01:32:26.779 --> 01:32:33.810 are already 30 years in. There's nothing. You 01:32:33.810 --> 01:32:37.470 know it as well as I do. We have guys that retire 01:32:37.470 --> 01:32:41.649 and five years later, they're gone. And it's 01:32:41.649 --> 01:32:44.909 money troubles. It's alcohol troubles. We've 01:32:44.909 --> 01:32:49.909 had several suicides. And I tell people, if you're 01:32:49.909 --> 01:32:53.010 not prepared for that, for like having enough 01:32:53.010 --> 01:32:55.670 money or having a secondary job or what do you 01:32:55.670 --> 01:32:58.010 want to do? And a lot of guys I talk to, they're 01:32:58.010 --> 01:33:00.310 like, I don't know. I say, we better figure it 01:33:00.310 --> 01:33:02.880 out. Because I knew I wanted my garden. I knew 01:33:02.880 --> 01:33:05.319 I wanted. That was it. I didn't want to work 01:33:05.319 --> 01:33:08.399 anymore unless I wanted to. You know, I talked 01:33:08.399 --> 01:33:10.560 to Jeff and Jeff's in Alabama now. Maybe I go 01:33:10.560 --> 01:33:14.220 down there and help out. But I wanted to retire, 01:33:14.319 --> 01:33:18.880 retire. The thing that got me was. And I'll never 01:33:18.880 --> 01:33:21.239 fully do it because I promised the kids that 01:33:21.239 --> 01:33:24.359 I came up with. I didn't divest myself. So when 01:33:24.359 --> 01:33:29.720 that incident happened, that broke me. because 01:33:29.720 --> 01:33:32.899 i felt useless and you always say oh well the 01:33:32.899 --> 01:33:34.880 jobs shouldn't be your identity and your purpose 01:33:34.880 --> 01:33:38.600 but it's in me and i didn't recognize how much 01:33:38.600 --> 01:33:42.560 it was in me until people needed me and i didn't 01:33:42.560 --> 01:33:44.600 have the ability to flick my lights on and go 01:33:44.600 --> 01:33:47.720 100 miles an hour and get to so that is part 01:33:47.720 --> 01:33:51.520 of that's in me so that's what threw me but a 01:33:51.520 --> 01:33:54.119 lot of the guys i talked to they're just They're 01:33:54.119 --> 01:33:56.319 absolutely scared of retirement because they 01:33:56.319 --> 01:33:58.760 haven't prepared themselves properly, whether 01:33:58.760 --> 01:34:02.279 it be emotionally, financially, to take that 01:34:02.279 --> 01:34:06.159 step. And then what makes it sad about that is 01:34:06.159 --> 01:34:10.439 now you're just eating up a spot. You're past 01:34:10.439 --> 01:34:15.319 50 in this job. You're not what you used to be. 01:34:15.760 --> 01:34:19.239 And you're stopping somebody else from growing 01:34:19.239 --> 01:34:22.590 in the profession. That bugs me. Like, you should 01:34:22.590 --> 01:34:27.590 be ready to step out. Because I knew when it 01:34:27.590 --> 01:34:31.090 was my time, I'm in the gang unit. That's a huge 01:34:31.090 --> 01:34:35.430 spot. That's an awesome spot to have. As soon 01:34:35.430 --> 01:34:39.369 as I could, I'm going to step away. And I was 01:34:39.369 --> 01:34:41.270 lucky where I had the people that were going 01:34:41.270 --> 01:34:43.850 to take my spot there. It didn't pan out the 01:34:43.850 --> 01:34:46.510 way I wanted it. But I did everything I could 01:34:46.510 --> 01:34:50.430 to teach them my way. And this is how you get 01:34:50.430 --> 01:34:52.369 the intel. This is how you get into the community. 01:34:52.850 --> 01:34:58.670 And I was able to know that, I mean, the uppers 01:34:58.670 --> 01:35:01.869 wind up killing it. But my spot was secure with 01:35:01.869 --> 01:35:04.590 someone that I knew. And I think that makes a 01:35:04.590 --> 01:35:08.329 huge difference. Because you've hit on it so 01:35:08.329 --> 01:35:10.569 many times. And I love what you're doing. And 01:35:10.569 --> 01:35:13.770 I love seeing it grow in the books and everything 01:35:13.770 --> 01:35:18.760 that you're growing. There is no higher calling 01:35:18.760 --> 01:35:22.699 or no higher compliment than to be called teacher. 01:35:23.500 --> 01:35:26.539 And when you get to that point in your career, 01:35:26.699 --> 01:35:29.840 if you're not that, you're not doing it right. 01:35:30.220 --> 01:35:34.579 Whether by your example or by you actually pulling 01:35:34.579 --> 01:35:37.840 somebody aside and saying, hey, this is how we 01:35:37.840 --> 01:35:40.119 can do this better. That's how it's supposed 01:35:40.119 --> 01:35:42.920 to be. And then when you step into your garden, 01:35:43.079 --> 01:35:47.340 you... There's no regrets there. There's no pulling 01:35:47.340 --> 01:35:51.380 you back. My incident was members of the community 01:35:51.380 --> 01:35:54.779 that still wanted me in the community, but I 01:35:54.779 --> 01:35:58.439 have no regrets about how I exited, how I transitioned, 01:35:58.560 --> 01:36:01.079 because I did it to the best of my ability. And 01:36:01.079 --> 01:36:04.699 when you give your all, when you have that empathy, 01:36:04.800 --> 01:36:07.300 compassion, and love as much as you can have 01:36:07.300 --> 01:36:09.060 it, because I'm not saying I'm perfect. There 01:36:09.060 --> 01:36:11.359 were days where I wanted to punch the average 01:36:11.359 --> 01:36:13.239 citizen in the mouth just like everybody else, 01:36:13.340 --> 01:36:17.340 but I didn't. When you give it your all, there's 01:36:17.340 --> 01:36:24.180 no looking back. I am supremely fortunate to 01:36:24.180 --> 01:36:26.899 have had the longevity in my career that I did, 01:36:27.000 --> 01:36:30.140 to have all the experiences I did, even while 01:36:30.140 --> 01:36:35.159 hurt. So I gave it my all. I was ready. I feel 01:36:35.159 --> 01:36:38.800 bad for the people that probably are ready, but 01:36:38.800 --> 01:36:41.600 just don't think they are. And they can't give 01:36:41.600 --> 01:36:45.609 it up. So that's, you know, king for a day. I 01:36:45.609 --> 01:36:48.289 would also tell people start putting the retirement 01:36:48.289 --> 01:36:51.489 account to use. Let the city help you out and 01:36:51.489 --> 01:36:54.310 get an end date because you can't be here forever. 01:36:54.449 --> 01:36:58.689 Nobody can. Absolutely. Well, obviously, the 01:36:58.689 --> 01:37:01.770 theme of this whole conversation has been having 01:37:01.770 --> 01:37:06.270 the strength to be compassionate, empathetic, 01:37:06.270 --> 01:37:10.270 to forge community, to be your mentor. Yet when 01:37:10.270 --> 01:37:13.909 I look at. A lot of the discussions that have 01:37:13.909 --> 01:37:15.869 happened the last few years and people think 01:37:15.869 --> 01:37:17.989 it's so funny, like if I if I was talking about 01:37:17.989 --> 01:37:20.689 vaccine mandates, oh, I'm a I'm a right wing, 01:37:20.810 --> 01:37:22.829 whatever. And then I'm talking about Gaza. Oh, 01:37:22.949 --> 01:37:24.550 you're a left wing, whatever. I'm like, dude, 01:37:24.569 --> 01:37:27.229 in the middle of the normal fucking people, you 01:37:27.229 --> 01:37:29.949 know, that sometimes lean slightly this way or 01:37:29.949 --> 01:37:31.770 this way. But it's about kindness, compassion, 01:37:32.069 --> 01:37:36.750 empathy, community. But I see so much nastiness. 01:37:36.750 --> 01:37:39.710 I see an inability to critically think and say 01:37:39.710 --> 01:37:43.739 something as. neutral as for example in gaza 01:37:43.739 --> 01:37:46.439 the innocent people that were killed on october 01:37:46.439 --> 01:37:49.319 7th is horrendous the innocent people that are 01:37:49.319 --> 01:37:52.699 being killed since is also horrendous you know 01:37:52.699 --> 01:37:54.760 that there are some immigrants in this country 01:37:54.760 --> 01:37:56.560 that have broken the law that absolutely need 01:37:56.560 --> 01:38:00.380 to be deported but then this snatching of children 01:38:00.380 --> 01:38:03.420 and parents you know with basically no criminal 01:38:03.420 --> 01:38:07.869 record is horrendous so I see this, like, if 01:38:07.869 --> 01:38:09.649 you don't pick a side, if you're not in one of 01:38:09.649 --> 01:38:12.630 the World War One trenches, then you're the most 01:38:12.630 --> 01:38:15.869 demonized censored group, the common sense, neutral, 01:38:16.250 --> 01:38:19.170 kind, compassionate, you know, community minded 01:38:19.170 --> 01:38:22.369 people. And that is like the heresy. It has been, 01:38:22.369 --> 01:38:24.770 you know, during COVID talking about underlying 01:38:24.770 --> 01:38:26.729 conditions. Maybe we should address the obesity 01:38:26.729 --> 01:38:29.569 epidemic while we're going through this. So, 01:38:29.569 --> 01:38:32.590 you know. I know that you and I have got very 01:38:32.590 --> 01:38:34.289 similar kind of perspectives on some of these 01:38:34.289 --> 01:38:37.949 areas on a macro level now, nationally and even 01:38:37.949 --> 01:38:41.350 internationally, because it nauseates me to see 01:38:41.350 --> 01:38:45.449 British police arresting peaceful elderly protesters, 01:38:45.810 --> 01:38:48.789 you know, that are against the genocide of children, 01:38:48.869 --> 01:38:52.420 for example. What is your perspective on that 01:38:52.420 --> 01:38:55.479 loss of community, empathy, compassion, even 01:38:55.479 --> 01:38:57.420 though I would argue it's still the minority 01:38:57.420 --> 01:39:00.479 that we're seeing? And how do we bring that back 01:39:00.479 --> 01:39:06.460 into our own nations again? The macro level, 01:39:06.560 --> 01:39:10.739 I mean, it still speaks to the micro of it, of 01:39:10.739 --> 01:39:13.340 how everything operates, because your sphere 01:39:13.340 --> 01:39:15.800 of influence is going to be your family and then 01:39:15.800 --> 01:39:18.800 your community and how you operate within them. 01:39:19.760 --> 01:39:29.939 What I see on the macro is we as a society, the 01:39:29.939 --> 01:39:32.399 extremes used to just kind of be laughed off 01:39:32.399 --> 01:39:34.220 and all right, it doesn't matter. And then the 01:39:34.220 --> 01:39:36.279 information age and social media, and then it 01:39:36.279 --> 01:39:38.939 became amplified. And then it became monetized. 01:39:39.380 --> 01:39:42.619 And people will say, well, your side's making 01:39:42.619 --> 01:39:47.920 money off this and not look in the mirror. Then 01:39:47.920 --> 01:39:49.760 it becomes the both sides argument. And they're 01:39:49.760 --> 01:39:54.020 like, well, no, my side got hit. And empathy 01:39:54.020 --> 01:39:56.100 and compassion and love, they don't have sides. 01:39:57.579 --> 01:40:02.420 Can I objectively look at what's going on and 01:40:02.420 --> 01:40:07.079 come to an objective conclusion? The Gaza thing. 01:40:07.260 --> 01:40:09.659 Yes, October 7th happened. It was horrible. Absolutely. 01:40:11.330 --> 01:40:13.649 Israel went to war. Israel has a right to defend 01:40:13.649 --> 01:40:16.010 itself. Israel has a right to retribution, whatever 01:40:16.010 --> 01:40:19.930 you want to say. However, now you're just blowing 01:40:19.930 --> 01:40:22.189 up buildings and you can't even account for the 01:40:22.189 --> 01:40:24.270 people that are in the rubble right now. And 01:40:24.270 --> 01:40:27.390 your official count is that 67 ,000, but the 01:40:27.390 --> 01:40:29.470 unofficial count when they get into this rubble 01:40:29.470 --> 01:40:34.470 may be 250, 300 ,000. And you, and when you say 01:40:34.470 --> 01:40:38.359 that seems, that seems extreme. Then you're shouted 01:40:38.359 --> 01:40:40.680 down and you're called an anti -Semite or whatever 01:40:40.680 --> 01:40:45.000 it is. But then the flip side of it now is there 01:40:45.000 --> 01:40:48.840 is an entire side that is saying Israel controls 01:40:48.840 --> 01:40:51.720 the world. Israel tells the United States what 01:40:51.720 --> 01:40:55.640 to do and you fund them. And when I get in those 01:40:55.640 --> 01:40:59.159 arguments and I say, yeah, but you know who's 01:40:59.159 --> 01:41:01.260 benefiting from hitting Hamas and Hezbollah? 01:41:01.840 --> 01:41:07.779 Who? The Saudis. Huh? Yeah, Sunni Shia. I was 01:41:07.779 --> 01:41:09.720 like, they want Iran taken out. Those are their 01:41:09.720 --> 01:41:12.199 proxies. Israel's doing their bidding because 01:41:12.199 --> 01:41:13.840 they're not really coming out and saying anything 01:41:13.840 --> 01:41:16.960 against it either. But they're lowering the oil 01:41:16.960 --> 01:41:18.659 prices for the United States. And the United 01:41:18.659 --> 01:41:21.579 States keeps sending bombs over. And then people 01:41:21.579 --> 01:41:25.920 are like, because they want binary. They want 01:41:25.920 --> 01:41:27.979 the yes or no. They want the black or white. 01:41:28.199 --> 01:41:31.899 They don't want nuance. And we talked about it 01:41:31.899 --> 01:41:34.399 earlier. There was an opportunity for the UN 01:41:34.399 --> 01:41:37.130 to have a safe zone. but it would have required 01:41:37.130 --> 01:41:42.729 United States troops with UN support. And then 01:41:42.729 --> 01:41:45.329 we ixnated because we don't want skin in that 01:41:45.329 --> 01:41:49.550 game, but either side wants to yell at each other. 01:41:49.789 --> 01:41:54.489 But, you know, and it's been getting progressively 01:41:54.489 --> 01:41:58.090 worse because we've been, it's the strangest 01:41:58.090 --> 01:42:01.189 thing, James, because as connected as we can 01:42:01.189 --> 01:42:04.130 be with the internet, we've become more disconnected 01:42:04.130 --> 01:42:06.619 with everything. It's the craziest phenomenon 01:42:06.619 --> 01:42:11.619 ever. You talked about COVID. I kind of vacillated 01:42:11.619 --> 01:42:14.520 between I'm all about the vaccine. I don't think 01:42:14.520 --> 01:42:16.220 it was a microchip in our head or anything like 01:42:16.220 --> 01:42:18.840 that. And when I started seeing all these crazy 01:42:18.840 --> 01:42:22.000 notions and the VA or the VAERS information, 01:42:22.279 --> 01:42:24.539 you know who I was able to get in contact with 01:42:24.539 --> 01:42:28.149 over the Internet? Scientists. a lot of scientists. 01:42:28.369 --> 01:42:31.770 I still talk to scientists. There's unbiased 01:42:31.770 --> 01:42:35.810 PhD, nini in the brain, gnarly by nature. I talk 01:42:35.810 --> 01:42:39.189 to them and I listen to them because they're 01:42:39.189 --> 01:42:43.350 experts. And all of a sudden we do our own research 01:42:43.350 --> 01:42:46.350 and that blows my mind. No, you don't do your 01:42:46.350 --> 01:42:49.390 own research. Research takes a really long time. 01:42:49.390 --> 01:42:51.569 You got to be really smart to do it. We don't 01:42:51.569 --> 01:42:54.340 do our own research. We gather resources, we 01:42:54.340 --> 01:42:57.079 gather information, and then we should critically 01:42:57.079 --> 01:42:59.720 think and come to the best conclusion that we 01:42:59.720 --> 01:43:05.000 can. With the Gaza stuff, how is it controversial 01:43:05.000 --> 01:43:08.960 to say you should stop blowing up innocent civilians? 01:43:09.100 --> 01:43:12.680 And then all of a sudden you're... You're flip 01:43:12.680 --> 01:43:15.140 crazy and you're anti -Semite. But then, like 01:43:15.140 --> 01:43:17.680 I was saying, there's an entire faction now that 01:43:17.680 --> 01:43:20.680 is anti -Semitic that is saying they're controlling 01:43:20.680 --> 01:43:22.760 and, you know, they control finances and all. 01:43:22.859 --> 01:43:26.579 I was like, we are literally falling for the 01:43:26.579 --> 01:43:30.659 same tropes that were used to start a world war. 01:43:31.359 --> 01:43:38.060 And and the other being like it's it amazes me 01:43:38.060 --> 01:43:42.810 that it's the same playbook. find another direct 01:43:42.810 --> 01:43:46.090 everyone's anger towards the other and just double 01:43:46.090 --> 01:43:50.029 down on it whether it be immigrants or jews or 01:43:50.029 --> 01:43:54.350 muslims we keep doing the same thing and then 01:43:54.350 --> 01:43:57.470 the centrists in us that are like well hey now 01:43:57.470 --> 01:44:00.050 i know a muslim now i know a jew like that's 01:44:00.050 --> 01:44:03.090 that's not that's not how they think that's not 01:44:03.090 --> 01:44:07.729 what's going on so now there's this huge conflict 01:44:07.729 --> 01:44:16.619 and people are just I've never seen a citizenry 01:44:16.619 --> 01:44:20.579 so proud of their ignorance, so proud of their 01:44:20.579 --> 01:44:28.159 bullying power. And we elected someone who, whether 01:44:28.159 --> 01:44:32.180 he means to or not, it is almost like he's given 01:44:32.180 --> 01:44:36.619 tacit permission for us to be our worst selves, 01:44:36.819 --> 01:44:39.500 because that's the example he puts out there. 01:44:40.549 --> 01:44:44.449 to take revenge, to destroy your enemies, to 01:44:44.449 --> 01:44:50.890 go after other, all that type of stuff. And it's 01:44:50.890 --> 01:44:54.510 wrong. It's not what we would teach our children. 01:44:54.949 --> 01:44:57.210 We should teach our children to look at what's 01:44:57.210 --> 01:44:59.430 happening in Gaza and be absolutely appalled 01:44:59.430 --> 01:45:04.649 that war is an absolute failure. That's all it 01:45:04.649 --> 01:45:09.229 is. It's human failure at its worst. And I don't 01:45:09.229 --> 01:45:14.189 understand how it's it's so polarizing and it 01:45:14.189 --> 01:45:20.390 shouldn't be like you're not. The Ukraine thing, 01:45:20.510 --> 01:45:23.869 you know, that that we turned on Ukraine and 01:45:23.869 --> 01:45:25.670 then all of a sudden here we are nine months 01:45:25.670 --> 01:45:28.989 in and then, hey, maybe Putin isn't like on the 01:45:28.989 --> 01:45:32.369 level with us and maybe he is like a despot. 01:45:32.390 --> 01:45:35.430 And I'm like, are you kidding me right now? I 01:45:35.430 --> 01:45:39.520 have arguments with. with my friends that are 01:45:39.520 --> 01:45:42.060 that are still in the military or that exited 01:45:42.060 --> 01:45:45.260 the military that go back to iraq and afghanistan 01:45:45.260 --> 01:45:47.300 they're like you think that was a good war i 01:45:47.300 --> 01:45:50.779 was like no well while we went i was like there 01:45:50.779 --> 01:45:53.579 were voices in opposition for both of those wars 01:45:53.579 --> 01:45:55.960 just because you didn't want to listen to them 01:45:55.960 --> 01:45:58.920 doesn't mean they didn't exist and now all of 01:45:58.920 --> 01:46:03.539 a sudden because You got lied to for 20 years. 01:46:03.699 --> 01:46:06.819 Now, everything that never happened. Nobody was 01:46:06.819 --> 01:46:09.279 ever in opposition to this. The government is 01:46:09.279 --> 01:46:13.359 evil. The government is the government. And the 01:46:13.359 --> 01:46:17.460 government does nefarious things to protect us, 01:46:17.500 --> 01:46:20.100 to further our agenda and to get you cheap things 01:46:20.100 --> 01:46:23.739 at Walmart. And all of a sudden now you want 01:46:23.739 --> 01:46:27.319 to destroy the government. But you have no replacement. 01:46:27.500 --> 01:46:30.119 You're just yelling. You don't want them to do 01:46:30.119 --> 01:46:32.180 this. You don't want them to do that. But you'll 01:46:32.180 --> 01:46:36.979 still vote in the same person. And it's just 01:46:36.979 --> 01:46:39.100 disconcerting to me. You talked about critical 01:46:39.100 --> 01:46:42.319 thinking. I think there's a complete lack of 01:46:42.319 --> 01:46:47.079 it. And again, it goes to we blame children, 01:46:47.300 --> 01:46:49.819 kids today, and this and that. Well, who are 01:46:49.819 --> 01:46:53.220 their examples? Who raised them? And who are 01:46:53.220 --> 01:46:55.819 they looking to right now? We have absolutely 01:46:55.819 --> 01:46:59.760 since since Obama was elected, our politics have 01:46:59.760 --> 01:47:03.699 just gotten more divisive, more corrosive. And 01:47:03.699 --> 01:47:06.420 this is what these kids grew up with. While simultaneously 01:47:06.420 --> 01:47:09.420 being told America did a really good thing because 01:47:09.420 --> 01:47:12.119 we voted in a black man. So all that stuff should 01:47:12.119 --> 01:47:16.500 that's over now. But then they listen to everyone 01:47:16.500 --> 01:47:20.319 rip that black man to shreds every chance they 01:47:20.319 --> 01:47:23.500 got. for wearing a tan suit, for not doing things 01:47:23.500 --> 01:47:27.039 correctly. And then we just way on down the line. 01:47:27.399 --> 01:47:32.140 Now the natural recourse to that, we elected 01:47:32.140 --> 01:47:37.300 a bully who is in the same stead as any other 01:47:37.300 --> 01:47:40.260 authoritarian figure where I'm the only one that 01:47:40.260 --> 01:47:44.319 can solve this. And these are our friends. You 01:47:44.319 --> 01:47:46.039 know, Israel is our friend. You can't say anything 01:47:46.039 --> 01:47:48.859 against them. And if you do. We're going to we're 01:47:48.859 --> 01:47:51.380 going to censor you. But I believe in free speech 01:47:51.380 --> 01:47:54.399 as long as it's on my terms and I'm attacking 01:47:54.399 --> 01:47:58.060 intellectuals and you're smart. People are going 01:47:58.060 --> 01:48:03.140 to college or not. And it's just it blows my 01:48:03.140 --> 01:48:07.279 mind. And and I go back to the micro version 01:48:07.279 --> 01:48:09.680 of it is I told you the only thing I can do is 01:48:09.680 --> 01:48:11.960 teach my sons. And I don't really have to teach 01:48:11.960 --> 01:48:14.640 my daughter now because she's. My hope for the 01:48:14.640 --> 01:48:16.720 future is talking to my daughter and her friends 01:48:16.720 --> 01:48:19.380 because they literally look at us, James, like 01:48:19.380 --> 01:48:24.300 we are absolute dinosaur idiots. My daughter's 01:48:24.300 --> 01:48:26.939 friends, she has a political science degree in 01:48:26.939 --> 01:48:29.520 international law. She's going to take her LSATs. 01:48:31.140 --> 01:48:35.579 She's probably going to save the world. Her friends 01:48:35.579 --> 01:48:38.880 are bioengineers. One of her friends is an architect 01:48:38.880 --> 01:48:41.600 who literally goes to New York at 23 years of 01:48:41.600 --> 01:48:44.979 age and designs furniture. They are amazing. 01:48:45.680 --> 01:48:50.460 They don't get us. They don't understand why 01:48:50.460 --> 01:48:54.199 it is not okay to say what is happening in Gaza 01:48:54.199 --> 01:48:57.720 is not okay. It blows their mind. It blows their 01:48:57.720 --> 01:49:03.779 mind. What I've said many, many times is if you 01:49:03.779 --> 01:49:06.659 just pull the focus back, again, that middle 01:49:06.659 --> 01:49:09.239 ground. For example, when I was saying during 01:49:09.239 --> 01:49:12.500 COVID was... This is obviously a real disease. 01:49:12.779 --> 01:49:14.819 And I had, you know, physicians and all kinds 01:49:14.819 --> 01:49:17.220 of people that were witnessing, you know, firefighters 01:49:17.220 --> 01:49:19.680 that were in these hot zones where, yes, lots 01:49:19.680 --> 01:49:22.180 of people were dying. And the vaccine, if nothing 01:49:22.180 --> 01:49:26.100 else, was seeming to be a symptom reducer. You 01:49:26.100 --> 01:49:28.460 know, it was saving some people. But simultaneously, 01:49:28.520 --> 01:49:31.560 equally also a truth is that we are a very sick 01:49:31.560 --> 01:49:33.880 nation. And the underlying ill health of the 01:49:33.880 --> 01:49:35.699 American people was really why we lost so many 01:49:35.699 --> 01:49:39.569 people. So those two exist side by side. Now 01:49:39.569 --> 01:49:43.569 you expand that out politically. Firstly, out 01:49:43.569 --> 01:49:47.909 of 340 million people, you are telling me that 01:49:47.909 --> 01:49:51.229 Joe Biden and Donald Trump are the fucking pinnacle 01:49:51.229 --> 01:49:54.750 of leadership. If you can look in the fucking 01:49:54.750 --> 01:49:57.649 mirror and say that to yourself, then A, that 01:49:57.649 --> 01:49:59.350 illustrates the mental health crisis that we 01:49:59.350 --> 01:50:01.069 have in this country, and B, you're a fucking 01:50:01.069 --> 01:50:03.789 idiot. Because like I said, the problem is we 01:50:03.789 --> 01:50:07.170 have a broken system. And I've said this many 01:50:07.170 --> 01:50:11.439 times. If you have to be basically a million 01:50:11.439 --> 01:50:14.300 or billionaire and be devoid of ethics, meaning 01:50:14.300 --> 01:50:16.800 you will take lobbyists' money to get in that 01:50:16.800 --> 01:50:19.600 position. So that eliminates the real leaders 01:50:19.600 --> 01:50:22.579 of the world. So what we get, whether it's left 01:50:22.579 --> 01:50:25.939 and right, Fox News or CNN, Trump or Biden, is 01:50:25.939 --> 01:50:28.539 it's like expecting a cupcake in a turd factory. 01:50:29.400 --> 01:50:32.399 The same fucking machine is churning out these 01:50:32.399 --> 01:50:35.159 pieces of shit. One's wearing a blue tie, one's 01:50:35.159 --> 01:50:37.300 wearing a red tie, but they are the same kind 01:50:37.300 --> 01:50:39.420 of horrible human being. To pick on the Biden 01:50:39.420 --> 01:50:41.560 administration, the way they handled that COVID 01:50:41.560 --> 01:50:44.720 pandemic, the fascism that came out of that. 01:50:45.140 --> 01:50:48.140 Everything that Americans were told to do is 01:50:48.140 --> 01:50:50.239 the polar opposite of what they should have been 01:50:50.239 --> 01:50:53.960 told to do. Stay inside, order fast food, order 01:50:53.960 --> 01:50:56.399 alcohol, binge watch the Tiger King, and don't 01:50:56.399 --> 01:50:58.859 see your family and friends. Like, disgusting. 01:50:59.460 --> 01:51:02.500 They cause more fucking lives. And at the end 01:51:02.500 --> 01:51:04.920 of it, do we want to revisit it and learn from 01:51:04.920 --> 01:51:06.319 it? No, no, no, no. We don't want to talk about 01:51:06.319 --> 01:51:08.859 it anymore. So Instagram's going to censor you 01:51:08.859 --> 01:51:11.300 if you say vaccine or COVID or, you know, mask. 01:51:11.880 --> 01:51:14.659 And so this is the thing. Like, people have to 01:51:14.659 --> 01:51:18.079 look. Over the last few decades, the obesity 01:51:18.079 --> 01:51:21.779 crisis has got worse. Our prisons have got fuller 01:51:21.779 --> 01:51:24.380 and fuller and fuller. The mental health, the 01:51:24.380 --> 01:51:27.260 opioid crisis, the gang membership, all these 01:51:27.260 --> 01:51:29.119 things have got worse and worse. And that is 01:51:29.119 --> 01:51:32.020 left, right, left, right, left, right. So there's 01:51:32.020 --> 01:51:34.880 only one truth that the way that we choose these 01:51:34.880 --> 01:51:38.680 people is fucking broken. And the same kind of 01:51:38.680 --> 01:51:42.000 sociopath that seems to succeed in that arena 01:51:42.000 --> 01:51:45.439 rises up. Every single time. And look at the 01:51:45.439 --> 01:51:47.720 fucking idiocracy that we have at the moment. 01:51:47.779 --> 01:51:52.340 The clowns are doing their social media WWF presentations 01:51:52.340 --> 01:51:56.979 to the military or whoever it is. Like, you know, 01:51:57.060 --> 01:52:00.000 the post that I made recently that angered some 01:52:00.000 --> 01:52:03.779 of some of the people I had on the show who I 01:52:03.779 --> 01:52:06.840 just don't understand how, you know, you can 01:52:06.840 --> 01:52:09.100 be that kind of person that had the service, 01:52:09.199 --> 01:52:10.899 you know, in their heart. And some of them even 01:52:10.899 --> 01:52:13.729 had near death experiences. and then just be 01:52:13.729 --> 01:52:17.289 all in on one of these particular people. But 01:52:17.289 --> 01:52:21.750 I've kind of lost my train of thought now. I 01:52:21.750 --> 01:52:23.409 went off on a tangent then. But the point being, 01:52:23.489 --> 01:52:27.109 if we've deviated from the health of the nation, 01:52:27.310 --> 01:52:30.409 the mental health of the nation, the safety of 01:52:30.409 --> 01:52:33.210 the nation, because 70 % obese or overweight 01:52:33.210 --> 01:52:36.829 equals a very, very unsafe country, because now 01:52:36.829 --> 01:52:39.220 we only have, I mean, it's like... I think it's 01:52:39.220 --> 01:52:41.680 just above single figures that are even eligible 01:52:41.680 --> 01:52:45.100 for military, police, fire, EMS, from what I 01:52:45.100 --> 01:52:46.960 understand, because of the health of the... So 01:52:46.960 --> 01:52:49.819 this is the point, is that the only people losing 01:52:49.819 --> 01:52:52.640 are the people. And one of my guests said a long 01:52:52.640 --> 01:52:55.119 time ago now, and it was such a beautiful kind 01:52:55.119 --> 01:52:58.140 of illustration. They said, imagine you're in 01:52:58.140 --> 01:53:01.260 a medieval village and you've got two groups 01:53:01.260 --> 01:53:04.199 of peasants arguing with each other. He said, 01:53:04.260 --> 01:53:09.050 where are they not looking? The castle. That's 01:53:09.050 --> 01:53:12.890 it. Mic drop moment. They do not work for the 01:53:12.890 --> 01:53:15.449 country. We've got it so turned around. These 01:53:15.449 --> 01:53:18.789 people we employ with our taxpayers' money to 01:53:18.789 --> 01:53:21.810 run certain areas, to be diplomats between different 01:53:21.810 --> 01:53:25.010 countries, to avoid wars, to encourage trade. 01:53:25.329 --> 01:53:28.789 And instead now, as you said, both sides, the 01:53:28.789 --> 01:53:31.909 last decade plus, it has been a dictatorship. 01:53:32.369 --> 01:53:34.729 I'm in charge. This is what you're going to do. 01:53:34.850 --> 01:53:38.100 And until we have an awakening that A, You want 01:53:38.100 --> 01:53:39.699 to change the world, start a home. That means 01:53:39.699 --> 01:53:42.979 work on your own shit. Because if you will die 01:53:42.979 --> 01:53:44.920 on your sword for Joe Biden or Donald Trump, 01:53:45.100 --> 01:53:47.380 trust me, you've got some fucking work to do 01:53:47.380 --> 01:53:49.800 in the mental health space. Then you fucking 01:53:49.800 --> 01:53:52.399 work on your family and then you step outside 01:53:52.399 --> 01:53:54.359 your front door like we've been talking about 01:53:54.359 --> 01:53:57.600 and you become a mentor in your community. Whether 01:53:57.600 --> 01:54:00.840 you're going to teach young kids how to change 01:54:00.840 --> 01:54:02.960 a tire or you're going to start a fire academy 01:54:02.960 --> 01:54:06.720 prep program or whatever it is, if we all did 01:54:06.720 --> 01:54:09.939 that, you would literally you truly would make 01:54:09.939 --> 01:54:12.520 this country great again but all these phrases 01:54:12.520 --> 01:54:14.600 these t -shirts like you said from these politicians 01:54:14.600 --> 01:54:17.939 are empty because we are getting fatter sicker 01:54:17.939 --> 01:54:20.659 and more divided and that spans both sides of 01:54:20.659 --> 01:54:25.479 the aisle yep and we we like the covid thing 01:54:25.479 --> 01:54:31.119 we conflated government like ineptitude and inefficiencies 01:54:31.869 --> 01:54:34.210 And then we linked it with the science and the 01:54:34.210 --> 01:54:36.109 medical practitioners who were literally dealing 01:54:36.109 --> 01:54:38.609 with a pandemic that was brand new. And they 01:54:38.609 --> 01:54:41.050 were trying to figure stuff out. All the politicians 01:54:41.050 --> 01:54:43.649 wanted was the soundbites. Biden telling people 01:54:43.649 --> 01:54:45.310 that you were going to kill everybody if you 01:54:45.310 --> 01:54:47.569 went to Christmas dinner. Like you could watch 01:54:47.569 --> 01:54:51.130 the CDC director go, what? And just the same 01:54:51.130 --> 01:54:53.409 as when Trump was talking about maybe they can 01:54:53.409 --> 01:54:55.710 go in and do a cleaning and they're like putting 01:54:55.710 --> 01:54:59.560 there. But we conflated the two. And now we don't 01:54:59.560 --> 01:55:02.640 believe any of the institutions, even the poor 01:55:02.640 --> 01:55:05.520 scientists that were like, hey, and this is this 01:55:05.520 --> 01:55:07.380 is what drives me crazy about critical thinking. 01:55:07.880 --> 01:55:10.460 During the COVID pandemic, they were getting 01:55:10.460 --> 01:55:13.000 information fast and furious. And some people 01:55:13.000 --> 01:55:16.600 were not like getting the vaccine and not getting 01:55:16.600 --> 01:55:19.800 like not doing mass and 95 and all that stuff. 01:55:19.859 --> 01:55:21.859 They had to deal with all that data. So guess 01:55:21.859 --> 01:55:24.739 what? Science is going to change. Politicians 01:55:24.739 --> 01:55:28.189 are uncomfortable with that. The American public 01:55:28.189 --> 01:55:31.109 cannot deal with that because they're like, well, 01:55:31.210 --> 01:55:35.909 you just and we have to get better at not conflating 01:55:35.909 --> 01:55:38.869 a politician's stance being left or right with 01:55:38.869 --> 01:55:42.529 actual science, actual experts, because now nobody 01:55:42.529 --> 01:55:46.090 believes anybody. And there are people in the 01:55:46.090 --> 01:55:49.149 government that do try their best, but they are 01:55:49.149 --> 01:55:52.460 the. the quietest voices because they don't have 01:55:52.460 --> 01:55:54.279 the millions and millions of dollars. Citizens 01:55:54.279 --> 01:55:57.800 United was the worst Supreme Court decision ever 01:55:57.800 --> 01:56:01.300 because it allowed dark money and super PACs 01:56:01.300 --> 01:56:04.880 to fund all these elections. And look at what 01:56:04.880 --> 01:56:07.439 happened even with something as non -controversial 01:56:07.439 --> 01:56:11.579 and bipartisan as AOC and Hawley coming out and 01:56:11.579 --> 01:56:15.000 saying no more individual stock trades. You have 01:56:15.000 --> 01:56:18.180 to have a regular portfolio that is directed 01:56:18.180 --> 01:56:20.899 by somebody else and you have no say in it or 01:56:20.899 --> 01:56:23.720 you don't do it at all. And it is absolutely 01:56:23.720 --> 01:56:28.340 stalled. That tells you that there are middle 01:56:28.340 --> 01:56:31.600 of the road. No matter what you think of Hawley 01:56:31.600 --> 01:56:35.279 or AOC, they are trying to present what America 01:56:35.279 --> 01:56:38.520 wants and they're being stymied. I think America 01:56:38.520 --> 01:56:41.399 also wants to see the Epstein list from both 01:56:41.399 --> 01:56:43.729 sides. Absolutely. But that was the ultimate 01:56:43.729 --> 01:56:46.909 pendulum. That was like a magic trick. It was 01:56:46.909 --> 01:56:48.909 amazing. Like, you know, what's in my hand? Oh, 01:56:48.930 --> 01:56:51.250 nothing's in my hand. Now I'm in power. But wait 01:56:51.250 --> 01:56:54.350 a second. Time out. Yeah. And the mere fact that 01:56:54.350 --> 01:56:57.810 like it kills me. Right. Because I voted for 01:56:57.810 --> 01:57:00.590 Trump twice because I wanted the grenade thrown 01:57:00.590 --> 01:57:03.869 because I wanted Congress to start doing their 01:57:03.869 --> 01:57:07.310 job. And I grew up with him. My dad was a UPS 01:57:07.310 --> 01:57:10.529 driver. He knew all about him in the 80s. And 01:57:10.529 --> 01:57:15.250 like. Sammy the Bull, all those guys. So when 01:57:15.250 --> 01:57:18.590 he ran, I knew what he was. I knew he was bombastic. 01:57:18.670 --> 01:57:23.130 I knew his ego. I knew he was petulant. But I 01:57:23.130 --> 01:57:25.909 also knew I generally think in his own little 01:57:25.909 --> 01:57:28.510 way, he cares about America. He thinks he's right. 01:57:28.930 --> 01:57:31.409 But Congress has totally abdicated the responsibility 01:57:31.409 --> 01:57:34.409 of checks and balances. They don't pass legislation. 01:57:34.689 --> 01:57:37.729 They don't put clean bills up. They do backdoor 01:57:37.729 --> 01:57:41.039 deals. And I thought. They're going to have to 01:57:41.039 --> 01:57:44.439 come in and give him guardrails. Right. And and 01:57:44.439 --> 01:57:46.880 he was like, I wanted the border secure. I got 01:57:46.880 --> 01:57:49.159 people that are putting themselves at risk. It 01:57:49.159 --> 01:57:52.380 was it was horrendous what was going on. So I 01:57:52.380 --> 01:57:54.560 voted for and I wouldn't vote for Hillary if 01:57:54.560 --> 01:57:58.279 I had a gun to my head. So I voted for him. And 01:57:58.279 --> 01:58:01.319 then I didn't want Biden because Biden, like 01:58:01.319 --> 01:58:03.500 Biden's been in politics longer than I've been 01:58:03.500 --> 01:58:05.979 alive. That's ridiculous. So I voted for him 01:58:05.979 --> 01:58:09.699 again. And then Biden won. And I believe Biden 01:58:09.699 --> 01:58:12.899 won. And then because Trump is never going to 01:58:12.899 --> 01:58:16.020 admit failure. But then when January 6th happened, 01:58:16.239 --> 01:58:22.199 he lost me. Like, I don't care. Well, yeah, that 01:58:22.199 --> 01:58:23.720 didn't that didn't happen, though. Neither did 01:58:23.720 --> 01:58:25.739 the insurrection. That was all just fake news. 01:58:25.800 --> 01:58:29.920 It was it was all the FBI. They did it all. Well, 01:58:30.079 --> 01:58:35.239 but here here to that point, I read. jack smith's 01:58:35.239 --> 01:58:37.159 report when it was when it was out there is no 01:58:37.159 --> 01:58:41.399 longer available but i read it it wasn't so much 01:58:41.399 --> 01:58:44.220 about the the rioters when you read about the 01:58:44.220 --> 01:58:46.600 fake electors and what he was trying to push 01:58:46.600 --> 01:58:50.439 the doj was ready to include bar who eventually 01:58:50.439 --> 01:58:52.939 resigned they were all going to resign because 01:58:52.939 --> 01:58:56.039 he was counting on fake electors saying that 01:58:56.039 --> 01:58:58.159 there was there was like all this stuff when 01:58:58.159 --> 01:59:00.460 you read jack smith's report and they were going 01:59:00.460 --> 01:59:03.779 to see the voting machines There was a joint 01:59:03.779 --> 01:59:07.340 chiefs who was unnamed, but would testify if 01:59:07.340 --> 01:59:09.920 necessary, that when he found out what was going 01:59:09.920 --> 01:59:12.979 on, walked into the Oval and told him, if you 01:59:12.979 --> 01:59:16.579 do this, my men will hang you in the street and 01:59:16.579 --> 01:59:19.600 then turned heel left. And then all of a sudden 01:59:19.600 --> 01:59:21.939 the conversation changed and then they put it 01:59:21.939 --> 01:59:24.779 on Pence and they were hoping Pence would say, 01:59:24.859 --> 01:59:27.800 oh, yeah, this is all fake. And I do not believe 01:59:27.800 --> 01:59:30.659 in Pence's politics, but Pence is an American 01:59:30.659 --> 01:59:32.600 hero. because he stood up for the Constitution 01:59:32.600 --> 01:59:36.739 that day. That's my take on it. And Mike Pence, 01:59:36.939 --> 01:59:38.840 when he ran for president, I would rather have 01:59:38.840 --> 01:59:41.579 him all day long than any of the other challengers, 01:59:41.579 --> 01:59:45.680 because I know his religious views, but he was 01:59:45.680 --> 01:59:48.159 not going to impart them on America. He was going 01:59:48.159 --> 01:59:52.640 to try and convince America that his stance on 01:59:52.640 --> 01:59:56.140 abortion and his stance on reproductive rights. 01:59:56.859 --> 02:00:00.640 was was correct not to force it down so i have 02:00:00.640 --> 02:00:04.979 mad respect for him and then obviously he gets 02:00:04.979 --> 02:00:10.279 he gets back in and the all the the epstein stuff 02:00:10.279 --> 02:00:13.260 starts happening he ran on that and then all 02:00:13.260 --> 02:00:15.979 of a sudden he's just like what epstein files 02:00:15.979 --> 02:00:20.979 like and and you still have people that they'll 02:00:20.979 --> 02:00:23.810 they'll just turn a blind eye to that And I didn't 02:00:23.810 --> 02:00:25.989 give a crap about the Epstein files in my I've 02:00:25.989 --> 02:00:28.710 worked human trafficking cases. And I was telling 02:00:28.710 --> 02:00:31.510 people, I don't think there's necessarily a list. 02:00:32.010 --> 02:00:35.130 I think the victims know who they were farmed 02:00:35.130 --> 02:00:39.000 out to. And I think it was just. crimes of opportunity. 02:00:39.300 --> 02:00:41.220 Epstein wanted to get in with big people because 02:00:41.220 --> 02:00:42.920 he was trying to make his billions. He was doing 02:00:42.920 --> 02:00:45.140 real estate deals, all this stuff. And I said, 02:00:45.180 --> 02:00:47.279 that's how human trafficking works because human 02:00:47.279 --> 02:00:49.659 trafficking used to be called prostitution. And 02:00:49.659 --> 02:00:51.659 that's what this was. It was a giant prostitution 02:00:51.659 --> 02:00:54.659 ring. And I, and I told people his name's all 02:00:54.659 --> 02:00:57.319 over that list. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I 02:00:57.319 --> 02:00:59.640 was like, you're out of your door. And then I 02:00:59.640 --> 02:01:01.539 literally had to send people when the pictures 02:01:01.539 --> 02:01:04.279 of him, I was like, here's another picture. Here's 02:01:04.279 --> 02:01:06.859 another picture. And they were dumbfounded. I'm 02:01:06.859 --> 02:01:09.479 like, do you guys don't even look into any of 02:01:09.479 --> 02:01:12.819 this stuff? Just look at the footage of when 02:01:12.819 --> 02:01:15.439 he visited the UK. They had that picture plastered 02:01:15.439 --> 02:01:19.119 on castles and football pitches. It was beautiful. 02:01:19.439 --> 02:01:22.859 And I'm like, how do you suspend disbelief so 02:01:22.859 --> 02:01:26.859 much that you are willing to just give the benefit 02:01:26.859 --> 02:01:32.239 of the doubt? Maybe he didn't do anything criminal. 02:01:32.340 --> 02:01:35.409 None of us can say. But he definitely was around 02:01:35.409 --> 02:01:38.590 the man like that was his buddy. And now he's 02:01:38.590 --> 02:01:41.829 not releasing any of it. And we're just it's 02:01:41.829 --> 02:01:47.909 it's like we play pretend. And it in the micro 02:01:47.909 --> 02:01:51.430 version, I watched that in law enforcement where 02:01:51.430 --> 02:01:54.949 we knew that these neighborhoods were in distress 02:01:54.949 --> 02:01:57.930 and that there was a better way to go about policing. 02:01:57.989 --> 02:02:00.210 But we just pretended. No, we don't have the 02:02:00.210 --> 02:02:03.640 resources. We don't have this. It just permeates. 02:02:03.680 --> 02:02:06.619 And then that becomes the status quo. And that's 02:02:06.619 --> 02:02:08.380 where we're at right now, where the status quo 02:02:08.380 --> 02:02:11.720 is. Whoever's got the money is going to going 02:02:11.720 --> 02:02:16.739 to be the candidate and we can stop it. Like 02:02:16.739 --> 02:02:21.560 I get so frustrated. The whole thing, the whole 02:02:21.560 --> 02:02:26.420 the whole point of America. Was we're self -correcting 02:02:26.420 --> 02:02:31.390 the founders. I have to believe they knew their 02:02:31.390 --> 02:02:35.090 flaws because that's the government they made. 02:02:35.710 --> 02:02:40.489 A government of amendments, a government that 02:02:40.489 --> 02:02:44.069 had checks and balances. They knew human flaws. 02:02:44.470 --> 02:02:47.409 And now all of a sudden we want to rest the power 02:02:47.409 --> 02:02:50.270 in one individual, whether it be Democrat or 02:02:50.270 --> 02:02:52.729 Republican. That's not what this is supposed 02:02:52.729 --> 02:02:55.329 to be about. And it's supposed to be about an 02:02:55.329 --> 02:02:57.890 educated citizenry. You can say whatever you 02:02:57.890 --> 02:03:00.100 want about the Second Amendment. They don't fear 02:03:00.100 --> 02:03:04.460 our guns. They fear our votes. And it burns me 02:03:04.460 --> 02:03:06.399 up when people like your voting doesn't matter. 02:03:06.520 --> 02:03:10.000 If voting doesn't matter, why is that the thing 02:03:10.000 --> 02:03:13.399 they constantly go after? They gerrymand their 02:03:13.399 --> 02:03:16.380 districts. They try to restrict it or they try 02:03:16.380 --> 02:03:20.779 to open it. If it didn't work, they wouldn't. 02:03:21.000 --> 02:03:24.699 take the time to mess with it so much. There 02:03:24.699 --> 02:03:27.520 is so much power rested in the American public 02:03:27.520 --> 02:03:31.779 that we just set aside because we're convinced 02:03:31.779 --> 02:03:35.539 our guy is the savior. And it just drives me 02:03:35.539 --> 02:03:41.000 crazy because the entire experiment rests upon 02:03:41.000 --> 02:03:44.380 the fact that we were to educate ourselves and 02:03:44.380 --> 02:03:47.420 want better for next generations. And I think 02:03:47.420 --> 02:03:50.659 for the first time in our history, We're not 02:03:50.659 --> 02:03:53.939 leaving it better than we found it. And and that's 02:03:53.939 --> 02:03:59.100 it's sad. And and especially with the 250th anniversary 02:03:59.100 --> 02:04:02.539 coming up, we're going to have idiocracy in charge 02:04:02.539 --> 02:04:05.380 who's printing their own coin or whatever they're 02:04:05.380 --> 02:04:11.180 going to do. And we we should take that as a 02:04:11.180 --> 02:04:13.840 sign that we made it 250 years. So government 02:04:13.840 --> 02:04:17.300 is not only necessary, it can do good. It has 02:04:17.300 --> 02:04:20.340 done good. As long as we watch it like a hawk. 02:04:20.960 --> 02:04:24.060 And that's what we're supposed to do. We're not 02:04:24.060 --> 02:04:26.800 just supposed to take their word for it. But 02:04:26.800 --> 02:04:29.359 when they're on the right track or when the experts 02:04:29.359 --> 02:04:32.699 all come to a consensus, we need to back them 02:04:32.699 --> 02:04:35.979 up. And then we need to, like, our voice is our 02:04:35.979 --> 02:04:42.279 vote. And I just, I don't know. I mean, I do 02:04:42.279 --> 02:04:45.899 know how we got to this point. But it's so eminently 02:04:45.899 --> 02:04:50.520 fixable. And we just like you said, the middle 02:04:50.520 --> 02:04:53.039 week, unfortunately, what's going to have to 02:04:53.039 --> 02:04:55.239 happen is the centrist in the middle. And we're 02:04:55.239 --> 02:04:57.880 not necessarily prone to it. We're going to have 02:04:57.880 --> 02:04:59.619 to start shouting down the left and the right 02:04:59.619 --> 02:05:01.880 and tell them to sit down, shut up. The adults 02:05:01.880 --> 02:05:04.319 are in the room now. That's the only thing that's 02:05:04.319 --> 02:05:07.100 going to make a huge difference. And I think 02:05:07.100 --> 02:05:10.119 we have a shot at it because the people that 02:05:10.119 --> 02:05:14.979 that voted for Biden. Some of them have come 02:05:14.979 --> 02:05:16.680 around to the fact that we probably shouldn't 02:05:16.680 --> 02:05:20.039 have put a zombie in office. And the people that 02:05:20.039 --> 02:05:23.260 voted for Trump, especially the farmers, they're 02:05:23.260 --> 02:05:27.539 like, hold up a second. You're going to bail 02:05:27.539 --> 02:05:29.760 me out with tariff money that I'm already paying 02:05:29.760 --> 02:05:32.119 because of what you did starting a trade war. 02:05:32.420 --> 02:05:35.760 And you just gave $20 billion to a guy who just 02:05:35.760 --> 02:05:40.350 undercut our soybean sales. I think we got a 02:05:40.350 --> 02:05:42.590 shot. We always have a shot. And America, like 02:05:42.590 --> 02:05:44.949 Winston Churchill said it best, America will 02:05:44.949 --> 02:05:46.810 always do the right thing after exhausting all 02:05:46.810 --> 02:05:52.090 other options. I think we're there, James. Well, 02:05:52.109 --> 02:05:54.270 I mean, you said about Hillary, I agree 100%. 02:05:54.270 --> 02:05:56.449 And this is the point. Sadly, that was the election 02:05:56.449 --> 02:06:01.029 that I was first able to vote in. Actually, I 02:06:01.029 --> 02:06:03.550 think I just missed that. So it was the vibe. 02:06:03.590 --> 02:06:05.989 Anyway, I did independent because I'm like. I 02:06:05.989 --> 02:06:08.470 see what everyone is saying. This is the lesser 02:06:08.470 --> 02:06:12.810 of two evils. Now, let's do the math again. 340 02:06:12.810 --> 02:06:17.850 million people. And the two you have to choose 02:06:17.850 --> 02:06:21.050 from are the lesser of two evils. That shows 02:06:21.050 --> 02:06:23.029 you that it's a completely broken system. But 02:06:23.029 --> 02:06:26.750 I am quietly optimistic. I'm loudly optimistic. 02:06:26.989 --> 02:06:28.649 What am I talking about? I just get angry about 02:06:28.649 --> 02:06:31.750 it. i believe there is an awakening and i think 02:06:31.750 --> 02:06:33.989 this is why there's this doubling down on all 02:06:33.989 --> 02:06:36.130 the things that are distractions i mean even 02:06:36.130 --> 02:06:37.810 you know i don't want to take a deep dive into 02:06:37.810 --> 02:06:40.329 this but the whole charlie kirk assassination 02:06:40.329 --> 02:06:43.789 you know how convenient now was it actually someone 02:06:43.789 --> 02:06:46.909 who was very anti -right and that was it or was 02:06:46.909 --> 02:06:49.710 it something that ended up being more of a jfk 02:06:49.710 --> 02:06:53.850 -esque conspiracy to keep focus on this this 02:06:53.850 --> 02:06:58.109 one side you know every time a good analogy the 02:06:58.910 --> 02:07:02.750 There was a shitbag here in Gainesville, a preacher 02:07:02.750 --> 02:07:05.590 that was burning the Quran a few years ago. And 02:07:05.590 --> 02:07:07.970 when it happened, as soon as I saw this story, 02:07:08.109 --> 02:07:10.409 I'm like, I bet you that motherfucker has just 02:07:10.409 --> 02:07:12.869 written a book. This is just about book sales, 02:07:13.050 --> 02:07:15.909 money. That's it. Sure as shit. There's, you 02:07:15.909 --> 02:07:18.489 know, what it's like being a giant prick or whatever 02:07:18.489 --> 02:07:21.569 his book was called had just come out. And that 02:07:21.569 --> 02:07:24.069 was it. He was just pulling that kind of, you 02:07:24.069 --> 02:07:26.949 know, in that case, Islamophobic, you know, thread 02:07:26.949 --> 02:07:29.470 so he could get all these extremist Christians 02:07:29.470 --> 02:07:32.489 to buy his shitty book. And this is the point 02:07:32.489 --> 02:07:35.369 is, you know, every time that the community, 02:07:35.670 --> 02:07:38.050 the compassion, the empathy starts to grow in 02:07:38.050 --> 02:07:40.069 the middle, we have this extremist event, the 02:07:40.069 --> 02:07:42.529 insurrection, whatever it is. And it is a distraction. 02:07:42.869 --> 02:07:44.970 It absolutely is. And this is the left and the 02:07:44.970 --> 02:07:47.310 right. They play the same fucking game. CNN and 02:07:47.310 --> 02:07:50.029 Fox are the same fucking blueprint. Open your 02:07:50.029 --> 02:07:52.779 eyes. It's to sell advertising space. That's 02:07:52.779 --> 02:07:56.760 it. So to me, we have to resist these kind of 02:07:56.760 --> 02:07:59.739 outlier extremist events and not be distracted 02:07:59.739 --> 02:08:03.220 from the biggest truth. We have to make America 02:08:03.220 --> 02:08:05.500 healthy again. I think someone mentioned that 02:08:05.500 --> 02:08:07.239 about a year ago and fuck all this happened on 02:08:07.239 --> 02:08:09.180 that side. So we have to make America healthy 02:08:09.180 --> 02:08:12.020 again. We have to address the mental health crisis. 02:08:12.060 --> 02:08:15.720 We have to address our schools so that we can 02:08:15.720 --> 02:08:19.460 raise kind, compassionate. fit healthy children 02:08:19.460 --> 02:08:21.979 that know what real food looks like these are 02:08:21.979 --> 02:08:24.460 all within our powers in our community but the 02:08:24.460 --> 02:08:27.659 moment that these extreme events happen just 02:08:27.659 --> 02:08:30.760 like you said it's because they're scared because 02:08:30.760 --> 02:08:32.760 when we come together again i think there's a 02:08:32.760 --> 02:08:34.659 document somewhere that says we the people i 02:08:34.659 --> 02:08:37.279 forget what it's called when we come together 02:08:37.279 --> 02:08:40.109 again A lot of people have that tattooed on them, 02:08:40.149 --> 02:08:42.109 but don't really read the rest of it. No, or 02:08:42.109 --> 02:08:44.109 don't tread on me. You know, I think you're being 02:08:44.109 --> 02:08:45.789 treaded on. You're being stomped on right now. 02:08:45.909 --> 02:08:48.550 So but yeah, but I mean, you know, sarcasm aside, 02:08:48.670 --> 02:08:51.789 the answer is community, compassion and empathy 02:08:51.789 --> 02:08:53.750 and kindness, just like we've been talking about 02:08:53.750 --> 02:08:56.149 this whole two hours. And I think that the more 02:08:56.149 --> 02:08:58.689 we can lean into what we know is true, the more 02:08:58.689 --> 02:09:01.170 that we can lean into what Jesus actually would 02:09:01.170 --> 02:09:03.750 have done and Buddha and, you know, all these 02:09:03.750 --> 02:09:06.890 other, you know. prophets that preach kindness 02:09:06.890 --> 02:09:09.810 and compassion and community when we refocus 02:09:09.810 --> 02:09:12.529 on what they have been telling us all this ancient 02:09:12.529 --> 02:09:15.489 wisdom for millennia we're going to take this 02:09:15.489 --> 02:09:18.689 back but if we allow ourselves to be stuck in 02:09:18.689 --> 02:09:22.090 the world war one trenches of extremism we might 02:09:22.090 --> 02:09:25.989 lose our country so the choice is ours yeah and 02:09:25.989 --> 02:09:29.270 and what it allows like we that that's kind of 02:09:29.270 --> 02:09:32.550 been the theme but when you live with empathy 02:09:32.550 --> 02:09:36.859 compassion and love What it allows in is that 02:09:36.859 --> 02:09:40.539 loud optimism. Like you realize you're not your 02:09:40.539 --> 02:09:44.619 first thought. You realize that what your biases 02:09:44.619 --> 02:09:47.140 are and you put yourself in check before anybody 02:09:47.140 --> 02:09:51.180 else has to. And, and you said it with, with, 02:09:51.180 --> 02:09:59.560 is this kind that it's, it solves, it solves 02:09:59.560 --> 02:10:04.130 a lot of internal issues with us when we when 02:10:04.130 --> 02:10:07.369 we try to live that way and and it's what we 02:10:07.369 --> 02:10:10.050 want when when we're down in the dumps and we 02:10:10.050 --> 02:10:12.850 can't and because i tell my sons this all the 02:10:12.850 --> 02:10:15.789 time like when the world makes no sense to you 02:10:15.789 --> 02:10:18.630 when you're angry because your your brain is 02:10:18.630 --> 02:10:21.010 not helping you out that's when you need community 02:10:21.010 --> 02:10:22.850 the most that's when you need to talk to your 02:10:22.850 --> 02:10:24.409 dad that's when you need to talk to your mom 02:10:24.409 --> 02:10:27.569 but everything about you is going to tell you 02:10:27.569 --> 02:10:32.460 not to but you need to and But when you have 02:10:32.460 --> 02:10:34.899 somebody telling you the world doesn't make sense 02:10:34.899 --> 02:10:36.920 and it's because of this person or that person, 02:10:37.039 --> 02:10:38.960 then you don't have to look inward. You don't 02:10:38.960 --> 02:10:40.500 have to you don't have to make that change. You 02:10:40.500 --> 02:10:42.020 don't have to be better because there's something 02:10:42.020 --> 02:10:44.619 else to blame. And then your identity becomes 02:10:44.619 --> 02:10:50.140 wrapped up in left, right instead of best and 02:10:50.140 --> 02:10:56.630 good. Yeah. And, you know, that I. the best thing 02:10:56.630 --> 02:10:58.310 I talked about being a teacher and that's the 02:10:58.310 --> 02:11:00.710 best thing I ever was able to do to officers. 02:11:00.810 --> 02:11:03.170 Like you're going to have those moments where 02:11:03.170 --> 02:11:05.770 your bias is going to come out and you have to 02:11:05.770 --> 02:11:08.069 put yourself in check. And that comes from you're 02:11:08.069 --> 02:11:10.529 scared. And once you do it and you practice it, 02:11:10.609 --> 02:11:15.989 then you get back to my fear is, is constructive. 02:11:16.310 --> 02:11:18.390 It's, it's telling me I'm in a dangerous profession, 02:11:18.409 --> 02:11:22.880 but I don't run around scared. Then you're not 02:11:22.880 --> 02:11:24.920 scared of the other and you're not scared of 02:11:24.920 --> 02:11:32.159 anything that's going to make you do something 02:11:32.159 --> 02:11:36.260 that you can't take back. And that's where we're 02:11:36.260 --> 02:11:38.399 at. That's the tinderbox we're sitting on to 02:11:38.399 --> 02:11:41.000 the macro. Eventually, there's going to be something 02:11:41.000 --> 02:11:44.539 that a group can't take back and either side 02:11:44.539 --> 02:11:49.199 is looking for it. One of the most hopeful things 02:11:49.199 --> 02:11:53.779 I've heard is a lot of the protesters are worried 02:11:53.779 --> 02:11:57.560 that somebody's going to come in and agitate 02:11:57.560 --> 02:11:59.779 and what they're teaching their protesters to 02:11:59.779 --> 02:12:02.739 do. If that person starts going, throwing, whatever, 02:12:02.939 --> 02:12:08.520 everybody sit down and let the focus be on that 02:12:08.520 --> 02:12:10.479 individual that doesn't represent us. And I was 02:12:10.479 --> 02:12:12.640 like, that's brilliant. Love it. That's wonderful. 02:12:13.500 --> 02:12:17.000 So even that is an awakening because. Some of 02:12:17.000 --> 02:12:18.659 these protesters would have never thought about 02:12:18.659 --> 02:12:20.279 that. I mean, obviously, we went through it, 02:12:20.300 --> 02:12:23.420 you know, in 2020 where, you know, entire neighborhoods 02:12:23.420 --> 02:12:25.739 are being burned to the ground. And now they're 02:12:25.739 --> 02:12:28.279 like, hey, if someone takes it to that level, 02:12:28.380 --> 02:12:32.600 sit and let them be dealt with. So even that 02:12:32.600 --> 02:12:37.539 I have hope for. But love wins, man. It is just 02:12:37.539 --> 02:12:41.680 a longer, harder slog. And hate is way quicker. 02:12:42.939 --> 02:12:47.840 But it does no good. No, not at all. Just as 02:12:47.840 --> 02:12:51.300 a closing, I saw a beautiful video of police 02:12:51.300 --> 02:12:54.119 officers, Italian police officers in Milan. And 02:12:54.119 --> 02:12:56.600 rather than, they had all the riot gear and everything, 02:12:56.760 --> 02:12:58.800 and they just walked with the protesters. It 02:12:58.800 --> 02:13:00.699 was a peaceful protest. And they just walked 02:13:00.699 --> 02:13:05.340 with them. They're like, we're not here to be 02:13:05.340 --> 02:13:08.199 on our own people. And I think that a lot of 02:13:08.199 --> 02:13:11.500 people in uniform around the country, don't get 02:13:11.500 --> 02:13:12.979 me wrong, obviously, if there's a threat, there's 02:13:12.979 --> 02:13:15.440 a threat. But if it is a genuine... peaceful 02:13:15.440 --> 02:13:17.640 protest against something that is just wrong, 02:13:17.800 --> 02:13:19.739 and this is what it really boils down to a lot 02:13:19.739 --> 02:13:21.699 of these moral compass issues, is it right or 02:13:21.699 --> 02:13:24.680 is it wrong? How about that? You don't have to 02:13:24.680 --> 02:13:27.140 kneel and put your fist in the air, but you also 02:13:27.140 --> 02:13:30.359 don't have to act like these people are the devil 02:13:30.359 --> 02:13:33.159 when they're actually trying to just simply protest 02:13:33.159 --> 02:13:36.430 something that is completely wrong. So with that 02:13:36.430 --> 02:13:38.270 being said, we've been chatting for over two 02:13:38.270 --> 02:13:39.869 hours now. I want to be mindful of your time. 02:13:40.489 --> 02:13:43.130 For people listening, if they want to reach out 02:13:43.130 --> 02:13:45.029 to you, learn more about you, anything like that, 02:13:45.109 --> 02:13:47.630 where are the best places to do that now? It's 02:13:47.630 --> 02:13:53.109 the Tactical, T -A -C -T -I -C -O -U -L -L on 02:13:53.109 --> 02:13:58.560 Instagram. I get DMs all the time. So if they, 02:13:58.560 --> 02:14:01.380 if they want to, I am, I'm open to it. I'm retired 02:14:01.380 --> 02:14:03.420 now, James. So I got, I got nothing but time 02:14:03.420 --> 02:14:05.859 and I got a three month old that, that just kind 02:14:05.859 --> 02:14:09.460 of hangs out with me. So, yeah. And that Instagram, 02:14:09.600 --> 02:14:12.420 like I said, the, the coolest thing about retiring, 02:14:12.619 --> 02:14:14.779 they give you all these plaques and everything 02:14:14.779 --> 02:14:18.399 like that. The little army came and met me offsite. 02:14:19.359 --> 02:14:22.819 And they gave me, I actually gave it to my son. 02:14:22.899 --> 02:14:25.500 They gave me a poster board. with some of my 02:14:25.500 --> 02:14:30.539 phrases from that Instagram. And then they said 02:14:30.539 --> 02:14:34.180 to Detective Cool, a true warrior in the best 02:14:34.180 --> 02:14:37.560 sense, we love you. And it was pictures of them. 02:14:37.779 --> 02:14:39.739 I don't know if you remember, my gang unit shirt 02:14:39.739 --> 02:14:41.939 was like two unicorns kissing with a rainbow. 02:14:42.180 --> 02:14:48.500 I do. So I used to hand those shirts out. all 02:14:48.500 --> 02:14:51.619 this all this poster is just all these kids from 02:14:51.619 --> 02:14:53.920 the neighborhood in the gang unit shirt high 02:14:53.920 --> 02:14:56.920 -fiving playing basketball um they took pictures 02:14:56.920 --> 02:15:02.060 with me and that was that's the only thing i 02:15:02.060 --> 02:15:05.079 needed in retirement like that's that um that 02:15:05.079 --> 02:15:07.300 meant the world to me so yeah so that instagram 02:15:07.300 --> 02:15:09.319 is still up all my little phrases and stuff like 02:15:09.319 --> 02:15:11.699 that and if anybody wants to dm me and tell me 02:15:11.699 --> 02:15:15.090 that i'm a I'm a horrible person or I never should 02:15:15.090 --> 02:15:16.829 have been a cop. I get that all the time. So, 02:15:16.869 --> 02:15:22.050 yeah. So we'll argue all day. Yeah. So and then 02:15:22.050 --> 02:15:25.329 we have we have the links to adopt a cop and 02:15:25.329 --> 02:15:27.510 massive and Jeff and all that good stuff. So 02:15:27.510 --> 02:15:30.550 a lot of officers reach out. Adopt a cop is always 02:15:30.550 --> 02:15:34.729 looking for funding and that will literally provide 02:15:34.729 --> 02:15:38.210 funding for police officers to get to Blue Belt. 02:15:38.560 --> 02:15:40.380 I went through the program. I put a bunch of 02:15:40.380 --> 02:15:43.239 officers through the program. And that goes back 02:15:43.239 --> 02:15:46.039 to your physicality will give you the confidence 02:15:46.039 --> 02:15:48.600 to roll with empathy, compassion, and love in 02:15:48.600 --> 02:15:51.680 every law enforcement endeavor. And it makes 02:15:51.680 --> 02:15:54.460 all the difference in the world. Well, I want 02:15:54.460 --> 02:15:56.460 to thank you. We've had, as I said, over a two 02:15:56.460 --> 02:15:58.680 -hour conversation again. It's been so great 02:15:58.680 --> 02:16:01.439 to be able to pull you out the shadows now and 02:16:01.439 --> 02:16:03.359 talk about your transition and the highs and 02:16:03.359 --> 02:16:07.850 the lows. Not even political, because I hate 02:16:07.850 --> 02:16:10.890 that word, because it's not. The conversation 02:16:10.890 --> 02:16:15.270 on how we can better America and Americans. So 02:16:15.270 --> 02:16:17.409 it's been incredible. So I want to thank you 02:16:17.409 --> 02:16:19.590 so, so much for being so generous with your time 02:16:19.590 --> 02:16:22.029 again and coming on the Behind the Shield podcast. 02:16:22.729 --> 02:16:23.710 Thanks for having me, James.