WEBVTT

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Welcome to the Behind the Shield podcast. As

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always, my name is James Geering and this week

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it is my absolute honor to welcome on the show

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Marine Raider veteran, the man behind Joe Malone

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training and a member of all American leadership,

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Joe Malone. So in this conversation, we discuss

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a host of topics from his journey into the military,

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entering MARSOC, his deployments in Afghanistan,

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Iraq and Syria, the transition out of the military,

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weapons training, leadership, his own powerful

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mental health story, and so much more. Now, before

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we get to this incredible conversation, as I

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say every week, please just take a moment. Go

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to whichever app you listen to this on, subscribe

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to the show, leave feedback, and leave a rating.

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Every single five -star rating truly does elevate

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this podcast, therefore making it easier for

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others to find. And this is a free library of

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well over 1 ,100 episodes now. So all I ask in

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return is that you help share these incredible

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men and women's stories so I can get them to

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every single person on planet Earth who needs

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to hear them. So with that being said, I introduce

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to you... Joe Malone enjoy Well, Joe, I want

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to start by saying two things. Firstly, thank

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you to our mutual friend, Rick Rochelle, for

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making this connection. And secondly, I want

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to welcome you onto the Behind the Shield podcast

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today. Thank you very much, man. It's an honor

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to be here. So where on planet Earth are we finding

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you this afternoon? I'm outside of Chicago, about

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40 minutes into the suburbs, Illinois. So that's

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where I'm at. Well, let's start at the very beginning

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of your journey then. So tell me where you were

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born and tell me a little bit about your family

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dynamic, what your parents did, how many siblings.

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I was born in the city, raised right on the outside

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of it. Super interesting little town. The mafia

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history there is so rich. If you ever have the

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opportunity to read a book called Double Deal.

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It was written by our former police chief, and

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he spills it all, man, all the info about the

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Chicago Mafia during that period in time. So

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really interesting town when it comes to that.

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Siblings, brother's three years younger than

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me. My sister's three years younger than him,

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so six years total. Myself is the oldest, and

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then my mom and dad, very different. How those

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two ended up meeting. I don't know, but very

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opposite ends of the spectrum. My mother was

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a very and is a very adventurous heart. She was

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raised on a cattle farm out in Michigan, left

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home at an early age. And then my dad was raised

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further in the city in the old Irish firefighter

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neighborhoods, which are kind of different these

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days. But that's where he was raised at, was

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on the south side of the city. Beautiful. And

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what did he do for a living? When they met, he

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was working at the airlines. He was like the

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guy on the runway with the sticks. When I found

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that out, I used to think that was like so cool.

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I was like a little kid and I think my mom told

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me that one. But he ended up working for the

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FDIC, so the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation.

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So he's a very – uh conservative personality

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and i don't mean that in terms of like politics

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i just mean you know he's very risk adverse very

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by the book and you know there's you know he's

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got his reasons for for being that way conversely

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what was your mom doing and what was her personality

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She was working at the airlines as well as a

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ticket counter agent. And it's kind of funny.

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I tell people these stories. I don't know why

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I was at the airport so much as a little kid.

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And I was having a conversation with a gentleman

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last week when I was actually leaving Florida

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at the airport about that. And he was saying,

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he's like, yeah, there used to be a lot more

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bring your kid to work. programs and days and

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so i guess it makes sense as to why i was always

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there but i just remember always seeing her getting

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yelled at at the ticket counter by people and

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then that's always stuck with me to how to treat

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people at the ticket counter of airports and

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airlines with an immense amount of patience and

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kindness and respect because i just never understood

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why somebody would be so mad at my mom when she's

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not the one canceling the the flights but she

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got laid off after 9 -11 and just has done a

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It was kind of funny because when she would bring

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the candy bars that were – they weren't expired

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but they lost their shelf life. This was when

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I was in my drug phase and I would actually take

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the candy bars and I would offer people bags

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of weed and then add a free candy bar. And so

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I'd be like, hey, man, you buy some drugs and

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I'll give you some free candy. And that was a

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pretty lucrative business for quite some time.

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But anyway, she was very adventurous, always

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trying new things. preaching curiosity. And yeah,

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she's a wild, wild heart, I think. What if you've

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had any of these conversations at all? Are there

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perspectives on airlines these days versus pre

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9 -11? Because even as a passenger, I first flew

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to America in 94. And watching the change, especially

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around COVID, oh my god. Going from being the

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customer's always right to being judged for eight

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hours by a surly mask wearing steward or stewardess.

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It's been interesting to see what was a really

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beautiful experience kind of be picked apart

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probably from the corporate side to where we

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are today. That's a great question. I used to

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love travel. I used to love taking the airplane,

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going new places, seeing different airports,

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smells, sounds, sights. I can't stand it anymore.

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And I think of what you just mentioned right

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there, the transformation of the entire process.

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You know, I wrote the chief of security for American

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Airlines a couple of years ago. I got a hold

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of his email and I said, you know what? I had

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two incidents on planes, medical incidents, and

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none of the staff were adequately trained. None

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of the staff were adequately trained for violence

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incidents as we were seeing the rise in it all.

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And I laid out a diagram for them to show the

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flying experience for the user and how you start

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out. already super stressed because you got to

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get to the airport and do the logistics with

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the cab where you're driving then you got to

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pay a bunch of money for stupid parking and then

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you make it in and you're hoping you get there

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on time and the line's not super long and then

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you're going to miss your flight like there's

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already such a high level of stress that just

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gets exacerbated as you go through tsa for stealing

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all your toiletries and never stopping single

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they've never stopped a single terrorist attack

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isn't that insane like why do we have these people

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who have a 90, it's like a 98 % failure rate,

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according to the inspector general. Anyways,

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that's the security side of me coming out. But

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I explained that to him, and I was like, flying

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sucks, and you're going to see a continuance

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of violent incidents. And he wrote me back, which

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I was surprised. And then just, you know, we

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never really went anywhere with it, although

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I tried to pitch him on the idea of me training.

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My dad wouldn't talk about it. He doesn't probably

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care much. But my mom has said many times before

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that people were pretty bad back then. And it's

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definitely just, I mean, it's evidently a lot

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worse. And, yeah, you know, I feel for people

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who are in those service positions just getting

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bashed on all day. I actually worked a cardiac

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arrest. It's probably almost been two years now.

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We were literally on the airport tarmac in Heathrow

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Airport. I was on my way home back here. And

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the last passenger keeled over on the way to

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his seat. And conversely, like a few years, I

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think it was years before I'd had a medical incident.

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It was one of those ones where they ask, you

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know, is there a doctor on the plane, the nurses

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and just the people that responded in that particular

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one. I don't know what they were doctors in,

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but it wasn't emergency medicine. And I'm not

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saying that to be snide. It just clearly they

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didn't know how to actually work with a patient

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like that. And that one I had. All the gear given

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to us straight away. I mean, full ALS, you know,

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cardiac drugs and, you know, defibrillators,

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the whole thing. This most recent one, though,

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these poor people at Virgin, they had to ask.

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permission for every single piece of equipment

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so initially all we had was nothing and then

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an aed and then an oxygen tank that only went

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up to five liters per minute and you know it

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was just clearly but they hadn't really interacted

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with the ems side to make it as you said a stressed

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group of passengers that now have to be you know

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good samaritans set them up for success so i

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got to see both sides one i thought was really

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well equipped and then boom i had an entire ALS

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equipment around me. The other one, we're working

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this dude for, you know, 20, 30 minutes and then

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bit by bit, these pieces are becoming available.

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And then even, you know, the, the, the impact

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on those staff, you know, what was the protocol

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when they work a cardiac arrest on the plane?

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Can they go home? Do they have, you know what

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I mean? So it was really interesting as a paramedic

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getting that perspective and seeing in one side,

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I would argue done pretty well. And another company

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that I respect, which is Virgin, it's a great

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company. but that area and the same as you, I

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reached out to them and said, Hey, you know,

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this is, this is how amazing your people were.

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I want to let you know that if you need any advice

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on how to set people on the plane up for success,

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I'm more than happy to kind of share my information

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and I never, never heard back. So, you know,

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it is what it is. It's so crazy that you say

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that. So I've never able to have these conversations

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with people, right? Cause how many people come

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across these incidents, let alone like two of

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them, unless, you know, you're somebody with,

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it's like, the same thing obviously i'm you know

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emt trained but i've done a lot of advanced training

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courses in special forces but like that when

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they came out with the call are there any nurses

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or doctors or paramedics on the aircraft i actually

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put my head back down and was going back to sleep

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because i i thought to myself surely somebody

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here is more trained than me like there has there's

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got to be like a nurse or something no not on

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the first plane nobody was there um dude basically

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just just got a super low blood sugar went unconscious

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you know but he was a very big dude same process

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that we needed to get assistance for uh everything

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when i cracked open the oxygen tank they were

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like oh my god no we're supposed to call and

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get permission to do that and i was like that's

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an oxygen tank i'm sure you guys would be fine

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and um They, of course, as you're passing over

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the airports, now they have to keep handing you

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off to different physicians in different airports

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and different stations, which really just convoluted

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the entire process. I mean, what a pain in the

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ass it was to have to re -explain everything

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constantly. Like, I won't dive any further into

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it than that. But the second one, when you talk

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about what kind of doctors they were, man, I'm

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so glad this nurse, she was a brand new nurse

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working in the ER trauma somewhere. It was a

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flight from like Seattle to Canada or something.

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Or no, Texas to Seattle. And guy, Ukrainian refugee,

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leaving Ukraine. This was about two years ago.

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He's like a fresh refugee. Him and his wife are

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in their 70s. Not a lick of English. Goes into

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cardiac arrest. They call for somebody to come

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help. I go back there. I could just see he's

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diaphoretic. I mean, he's just took his pulse.

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It was down in like the low 40s. I was like,

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oh, my God. So we get him in the back. I asked

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for some equipment. They're getting permission,

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again, having to take their time. I get the AED.

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We hook them up. That nurse was awesome. This

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lady comes up claiming to be a doctor. I don't

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know if she was like a psychologist or something,

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but she clearly has never dealt. She's like screaming

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in my ear, I'm a doctor. I was like. we had to

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use google translate on somebody's phone and

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the crappy wi -fi on the airplane to uh to communicate

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with his wife because she had all these medications

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pouring out of her purse that were in like ukrainian

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and turkish and uh it was it was pretty chaotic

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man but those flight attendants they did awesome

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i want i told them i was like look you guys have

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to divert this plane or this guy's probably gonna

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die there's nothing i could do for him and the

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doctor on the phone on in the airport they're

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not you could cut this part out if you want or

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not if it gets you cut off whatever delta airlines

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so i don't care like screw that because they

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tried telling me well you're we're not going

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to divert the aircraft just keep just keep keep

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working on them until you get there and i was

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like we got like three hours to go this dude's

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pulse rate is going down and down and i i i had

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to talk to the captain he came to the back and

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i was like look dude i'm letting you know this

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guy will die I can't do anything for this guy.

00:13:19.740 --> 00:13:24.000
This AED will give him some shocks, but how long

00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:25.740
are we going to be able to last doing CPR? I

00:13:25.740 --> 00:13:29.120
can tell you not know three hours. And, um, yeah,

00:13:29.179 --> 00:13:31.299
they ended up diverting the plane finally. And,

00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:33.500
uh, and ended up, I got a phone call back from

00:13:33.500 --> 00:13:36.740
his daughter, both of their daughters, actually

00:13:36.740 --> 00:13:39.240
from both incidents ended up reaching out to

00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:42.039
me a couple months later and, um, told me that

00:13:42.039 --> 00:13:44.200
their dads were, were all doing fine. So that

00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:47.440
was, that was good. amazing i've said this i've

00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:49.019
told this story a few times about the cardiac

00:13:49.019 --> 00:13:51.299
arrest on the plane that the one that i had the

00:13:51.299 --> 00:13:53.179
other one was kind of like a vagal incident so

00:13:53.179 --> 00:13:55.600
after we did the full workout checked his blood

00:13:55.600 --> 00:13:57.559
sugar and everything it was really just you know

00:13:57.559 --> 00:14:00.179
low bp and i sat within the rest of the flight

00:14:00.179 --> 00:14:02.539
but the other one was on the tarmac so we didn't

00:14:02.539 --> 00:14:04.980
have that medical director issue because it stayed

00:14:04.980 --> 00:14:10.480
in london but um Over and over and over again.

00:14:10.620 --> 00:14:13.460
I'm just the grim reaper. And when there's a

00:14:13.460 --> 00:14:16.120
cardiac arrest, sadly, they never make it. But

00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:20.039
you hear about this person had chest pain and

00:14:20.039 --> 00:14:21.659
there was a group of cardiologists and they're

00:14:21.659 --> 00:14:23.539
all on the plane on the way home. It was like

00:14:23.539 --> 00:14:27.460
no one else had EMS experience. And we worked

00:14:27.460 --> 00:14:30.460
this guy and arguably did everything right with

00:14:30.460 --> 00:14:32.820
what we could at that point. And we still lost

00:14:32.820 --> 00:14:36.500
him. This is a thing. Is there a doctor? Is there

00:14:36.500 --> 00:14:38.320
a nurse? People need to understand that it could

00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:41.960
be a doctor or chiropractor or podiatrist or

00:14:41.960 --> 00:14:44.480
whatever it is that doesn't work with this area.

00:14:44.759 --> 00:14:47.299
And it might be an EMT or a paramedic that actually

00:14:47.299 --> 00:14:50.679
is the most highly trained for that person at

00:14:50.679 --> 00:14:54.399
that time. Yeah. And that goes, that's a shout

00:14:54.399 --> 00:14:56.500
out to first responders, you know, because I

00:14:56.500 --> 00:14:58.220
know you have a lot of them that watch this stuff.

00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.100
And you guys, I work doing the leadership training

00:15:01.100 --> 00:15:03.659
with so many fire departments. Stop selling your

00:15:03.659 --> 00:15:06.200
damn shelves short. You guys make a massive impact.

00:15:06.340 --> 00:15:08.200
Even if you get the frequent flyers and the stupid

00:15:08.200 --> 00:15:09.820
calls and everything that pisses you off throughout

00:15:09.820 --> 00:15:13.139
the day. The fact that you guys are just, man,

00:15:13.220 --> 00:15:15.820
dedicating your life to helping somebody in the

00:15:15.820 --> 00:15:17.580
worst moment of theirs. I mean, that's just huge.

00:15:17.659 --> 00:15:20.679
So, you know, a huge kudos to all the first responders

00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:23.759
who do that stuff. Absolutely. Well, going back

00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:26.559
to your kind of childhood then, as you were in

00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.500
the school ages, what were you playing and doing

00:15:28.500 --> 00:15:32.039
as far as exercise and sports? Exercise and sports.

00:15:33.549 --> 00:15:35.330
My dad wanted me to get into baseball. I was

00:15:35.330 --> 00:15:37.190
the kid who sat in right field and pulled grass.

00:15:37.629 --> 00:15:40.009
And then I got good at catching the ball because

00:15:40.009 --> 00:15:41.470
I wasn't afraid to get hit with it. So I was

00:15:41.470 --> 00:15:44.090
a catcher for the last couple of years. And then

00:15:44.090 --> 00:15:45.730
I wasn't afraid to get hit with it because I

00:15:45.730 --> 00:15:48.809
got hit with it so many times, so violently in

00:15:48.809 --> 00:15:50.549
my first couple of years, line drives to the

00:15:50.549 --> 00:15:55.169
face. And then as I entered junior high, I got

00:15:55.169 --> 00:15:57.659
more into football. uh but then that's also when

00:15:57.659 --> 00:15:59.299
i was getting into drugs and stuff and so we

00:15:59.299 --> 00:16:00.899
spent a lot of times walking around the woods

00:16:00.899 --> 00:16:03.799
as kids right on the cusp of the city where we're

00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:05.200
at is where all the forest preserves start that's

00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:07.000
why i had such a heavy mafia history and influence

00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:08.419
that's where they would get away with crimes

00:16:08.419 --> 00:16:11.399
and uh so we did walked around the woods and

00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:13.759
ultimately dropped out of the sports and started

00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:17.299
doing heavy drugs so when you reflect back now

00:16:17.299 --> 00:16:20.659
with this kind of mature lens that you have what

00:16:20.659 --> 00:16:24.340
if any elements of your upbringing contributed

00:16:24.340 --> 00:16:26.659
to you leaning into drugs in the first place?

00:16:28.379 --> 00:16:31.379
It's a good question. I had a conversation about

00:16:31.379 --> 00:16:35.919
this pretty recently as to why. And if I try

00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:38.299
to distill it as much as I possibly can, which

00:16:38.299 --> 00:16:39.740
I've probably done more in the last few months

00:16:39.740 --> 00:16:42.639
than ever in my life, it may have just been girls.

00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:46.259
Girls that were hanging out with what I now would

00:16:46.259 --> 00:16:52.700
call pedophiles. 50 year old guys who are buying

00:16:52.700 --> 00:16:55.899
little kids booze to get them drunk and stoned

00:16:55.899 --> 00:16:59.179
and here's some coke and here's some crack and

00:16:59.179 --> 00:17:01.720
methamphetamine like before you know it things

00:17:01.720 --> 00:17:04.359
just spiral so crazy out of control because you

00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:07.380
think that's cool because here's somebody in

00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:10.180
the same age bracket as your parents who are

00:17:10.180 --> 00:17:12.059
always telling you one thing and of course you

00:17:12.059 --> 00:17:15.400
want to rebel against that and then here's another

00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:22.309
parently figure who's confirming the biases that

00:17:22.309 --> 00:17:24.569
you have towards your own parents and rebelling

00:17:24.569 --> 00:17:26.589
against it because yeah this is the way to go

00:17:26.589 --> 00:17:29.269
and of course you can't just take a step back

00:17:29.269 --> 00:17:31.509
and see maybe this person living in this shit

00:17:31.509 --> 00:17:34.430
shack of an apartment with needles all over the

00:17:34.430 --> 00:17:36.670
place and a woman smoking crack breastfeeding

00:17:36.670 --> 00:17:40.210
a baby isn't the best place and when you look

00:17:40.210 --> 00:17:41.670
at your parents because my parents raised me

00:17:41.670 --> 00:17:43.410
in a really well environment nice middle class

00:17:43.410 --> 00:17:49.230
home and Maybe perhaps that's a key sign and

00:17:49.230 --> 00:17:51.809
indicator that I should be listening to them

00:17:51.809 --> 00:17:53.809
a little bit more. So ultimately, that's what

00:17:53.809 --> 00:17:56.490
it was, I think. When you were going through

00:17:56.490 --> 00:17:58.210
the school ages, what about career aspirations?

00:17:58.410 --> 00:18:00.170
What were you dreaming of becoming back then?

00:18:00.609 --> 00:18:05.529
I wanted to be a musician. I learned how to play

00:18:05.529 --> 00:18:09.890
music at a very early age. And Elton John was

00:18:09.890 --> 00:18:13.519
like my first jam. So the diversity of his music

00:18:13.519 --> 00:18:17.480
and his flow and feng shui, that also had a lot

00:18:17.480 --> 00:18:19.380
of cultural implications on me as well. As a

00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:24.160
child learning about homosexuality, I never really

00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:26.400
cared. I didn't understand it, but I was just

00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:28.319
kind of like, all right, whatever. Not for me,

00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:30.240
but for some reason, everybody who I talked to

00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:32.339
about it, John made a big deal about it. But

00:18:32.339 --> 00:18:34.640
I loved his music. I thought his charisma was

00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:39.670
awesome. Still do to this day. Then it turned

00:18:39.670 --> 00:18:42.390
more into heavy rock. I learned how to play trumpet

00:18:42.390 --> 00:18:45.190
when I was very young. I used to compete in these

00:18:45.190 --> 00:18:49.849
state competitions. Then I learned guitar with

00:18:49.849 --> 00:18:53.710
my buddy Justin on the front stoop of his crappy

00:18:53.710 --> 00:18:56.990
apartment complex. Super poor family, man. Just

00:18:56.990 --> 00:18:59.509
crappy, crappy apartment complex full of a bunch

00:18:59.509 --> 00:19:02.599
of alcoholics and drunks and drug addicts. His

00:19:02.599 --> 00:19:04.900
mom's old boyfriend, Russ, who was a former real

00:19:04.900 --> 00:19:07.759
hippie, like straight flower child from the 60s,

00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:09.319
taught us how to play nylon string acoustic.

00:19:10.180 --> 00:19:14.039
And from there, it just stuck with me for a very

00:19:14.039 --> 00:19:16.579
long time and was very developmental in terms

00:19:16.579 --> 00:19:20.019
of my personality and stuff. It's funny what

00:19:20.019 --> 00:19:22.359
you said about Elton John, because when we're

00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:25.880
young, when you meet whoever, you meet a baseball

00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:28.579
coach, the first question isn't, well, who do

00:19:28.579 --> 00:19:31.740
you sleep with? Is it a man or a woman? And now

00:19:31.740 --> 00:19:33.339
you would think that was the most important.

00:19:33.400 --> 00:19:36.579
Maybe not now, but up to about a year ago, you'd

00:19:36.579 --> 00:19:38.740
think that was the most primary thing. Who do

00:19:38.740 --> 00:19:41.339
you worship? Who do you sleep with? And people

00:19:41.339 --> 00:19:44.799
just didn't care. It wasn't that we didn't include

00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:47.960
them in our community at all, but it just wasn't

00:19:47.960 --> 00:19:50.700
front and center. You are Steve. You are Jill.

00:19:50.900 --> 00:19:53.240
You are whoever. And your sexuality and your

00:19:53.240 --> 00:19:55.779
religion and your skin color is irrelevant. It's

00:19:55.779 --> 00:19:57.640
like, who are you? Are you a good person or are

00:19:57.640 --> 00:20:00.759
you a shitty person? 100%. And that's something,

00:20:00.940 --> 00:20:05.720
man, being as vocal about. When I talk about

00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:08.680
things, people see me now. And there's a lot

00:20:08.680 --> 00:20:11.420
of presumptions made about me. But what they

00:20:11.420 --> 00:20:15.539
don't know is who I was and why I ended up changing.

00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:18.200
And if you were to take two pictures, I mean,

00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:20.859
it's complete opposite personas. One's a drug

00:20:20.859 --> 00:20:25.390
addict, hippie. anarchist screw the establishment

00:20:25.390 --> 00:20:28.269
and everything and you know all this other stuff

00:20:28.269 --> 00:20:30.990
is you know just what matters and then nowadays

00:20:30.990 --> 00:20:33.150
complete opposite demographic and so when I talk

00:20:33.150 --> 00:20:37.130
about things like homosexuality or transsexuals

00:20:37.130 --> 00:20:44.420
or racial things it's just so insane the responses

00:20:44.420 --> 00:20:46.299
that I get back from people because they think

00:20:46.299 --> 00:20:48.500
that I'm coming from some one -sided perspective

00:20:48.500 --> 00:20:50.799
when the reality of it is is that I've been through

00:20:50.799 --> 00:20:53.640
all these things I used to go to a hippie house

00:20:53.640 --> 00:20:57.079
where there was like 15 adult hippies living

00:20:57.079 --> 00:20:59.900
in that place and there were nights where everybody

00:20:59.900 --> 00:21:03.640
in there was on a multitude of drugs with a jello

00:21:03.640 --> 00:21:08.630
wrestling pudding ring tub in the basement. And

00:21:08.630 --> 00:21:11.009
like, like, I mean, just like, it's just crazy

00:21:11.009 --> 00:21:14.069
shit. And, uh, you know, people will try to have

00:21:14.069 --> 00:21:16.609
these conversations about sensitive topics with

00:21:16.609 --> 00:21:19.470
me. And I just, I just say pretty much the same

00:21:19.470 --> 00:21:22.769
thing. I go, I don't care. And anything I say

00:21:22.769 --> 00:21:25.349
is never negatively driven towards anybody. I

00:21:25.349 --> 00:21:27.589
just speak how I speak based off those life experiences.

00:21:27.750 --> 00:21:29.890
And I'm still going to love and appreciate people

00:21:29.890 --> 00:21:31.589
the way that I love and appreciate them, regardless

00:21:31.589 --> 00:21:34.630
of whatever. You know, just keep kids out of

00:21:34.630 --> 00:21:36.150
it. That's that's like the big thing for me.

00:21:36.190 --> 00:21:38.849
But sorry for another time. Yeah, absolutely.

00:21:39.190 --> 00:21:41.230
It's funny. I just saw I'm going to post it probably

00:21:41.230 --> 00:21:44.289
today. Stephen Fry, I think it was at some sort

00:21:44.289 --> 00:21:47.069
of debate, but he was talking about political

00:21:47.069 --> 00:21:50.089
correctness and how he hates it. And it's simply

00:21:50.089 --> 00:21:52.849
because it doesn't work. He said, I like everyone.

00:21:52.950 --> 00:21:55.490
He's he's gay himself. You know, I want all this,

00:21:55.490 --> 00:21:58.049
you know, nastiness to be gone in the world,

00:21:58.109 --> 00:22:00.150
whether it's racism or homophobia or, you know,

00:22:00.190 --> 00:22:02.920
all the all the things. But he said, but. political

00:22:02.920 --> 00:22:04.900
correctness just doesn't work. That's why I don't

00:22:04.900 --> 00:22:07.779
like it. And it's true. You know, if you stigmatize

00:22:07.779 --> 00:22:09.539
everything and you can't talk about this and

00:22:09.539 --> 00:22:12.019
you've got to use kid gloves with this, you're

00:22:12.019 --> 00:22:14.160
not going to be able to smash yourself into the

00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:16.759
root cause of the problem, which ironically,

00:22:17.019 --> 00:22:19.900
I would argue that most hatred comes from mental

00:22:19.900 --> 00:22:22.460
ill health, from broken people. And I mean, we're

00:22:22.460 --> 00:22:26.140
broken compassionately and empathetically. When

00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:28.599
you grow up in a household of hatred, you're

00:22:28.599 --> 00:22:30.339
going to breed hate, you know, kids that have

00:22:30.339 --> 00:22:34.079
the same hate in their heart. So we don't stigmatize

00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:36.240
these words. You go and you figure out how to

00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:38.920
heal communities. And I guarantee you, you'll

00:22:38.920 --> 00:22:43.119
see hate all but diminish them. Yeah, I very

00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:46.740
much agree. And the more that you put labels

00:22:46.740 --> 00:22:49.119
on things, the more it ostracizes and polarizes

00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:53.319
things as well. 100%. Well, walk me through then

00:22:53.319 --> 00:22:56.359
kind of the downward spiral because obviously

00:22:56.359 --> 00:22:58.059
you've talked about addiction several times now.

00:22:58.299 --> 00:23:01.460
What was the initial interaction with drugs and

00:23:01.460 --> 00:23:02.900
then where did that lead you? Where was your

00:23:02.900 --> 00:23:08.519
lowest point? First time I ever got drunk, if

00:23:08.519 --> 00:23:10.339
you want to include alcohol, I was super young.

00:23:10.380 --> 00:23:12.000
I think I was like nine years old, drank a bunch

00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:14.680
of gin and I've never drank gin since. Never.

00:23:15.099 --> 00:23:17.440
Never since I was nine years old have I touched

00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:21.170
that shit. A few years later, cousins up in the

00:23:21.170 --> 00:23:24.109
country drinking beer and eating dip. I like

00:23:24.109 --> 00:23:26.630
ate dip. I've never dipped ever since that time.

00:23:26.710 --> 00:23:30.609
I was about like maybe 10 or 11. And then the

00:23:30.609 --> 00:23:33.029
weed smoking started. I was 12 years old, which

00:23:33.029 --> 00:23:34.549
when I look at a 12 -year -old these days, it

00:23:34.549 --> 00:23:39.670
just crushes my heart to think of myself as an

00:23:39.670 --> 00:23:42.950
ignorant 12 -year -old. A couple of buddies had

00:23:42.950 --> 00:23:44.950
it. We went underneath the local bridge. We smoked,

00:23:44.970 --> 00:23:46.670
and that became our hangout spot for the next

00:23:46.670 --> 00:23:49.220
like. I don't know, like six years underneath

00:23:49.220 --> 00:23:53.460
the bridge. We called it the J spot. And it was

00:23:53.460 --> 00:23:56.299
like a viaduct with a train track. Did that for

00:23:56.299 --> 00:23:59.000
a little bit. And that led into things like mushrooms

00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:01.680
and acid, really more of a peace, love, hippie

00:24:01.680 --> 00:24:03.839
perspective. And then started getting more into

00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:05.720
drinking in high school. That led to some Coke.

00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:09.779
And then from Coke, the first time that I ever

00:24:09.779 --> 00:24:13.680
did heroin, it was kind of accidental. I didn't

00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:15.519
have a license until I was 18. So I had to borrow

00:24:15.519 --> 00:24:18.019
a car from one of my hippie buddies girlfriends

00:24:18.019 --> 00:24:20.880
to drive to the city with this guy duane who

00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:23.640
was like in his 40s and honestly as shitty of

00:24:23.640 --> 00:24:25.400
an influence as duane was he had a great heart

00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:27.700
and he looked out for me as much as he didn't

00:24:27.700 --> 00:24:30.339
if that makes sense but go out to the city to

00:24:30.339 --> 00:24:34.720
buy him some weed and we're in we're in the west

00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:37.079
side we're in the south side where this guy's

00:24:37.079 --> 00:24:41.009
from it's dangerous ass places where i've been

00:24:41.009 --> 00:24:43.690
involved in multiple shootings in parking lots

00:24:43.690 --> 00:24:46.170
where i was sitting there waiting for drugs to

00:24:46.170 --> 00:24:48.589
get picked up shots start going off people are

00:24:48.589 --> 00:24:52.089
driving stories for another time but it was it

00:24:52.089 --> 00:24:54.549
was very dangerous in terms of where we're going

00:24:54.549 --> 00:24:57.650
so we go down there he would get out of the car

00:24:57.650 --> 00:24:59.390
i would drive around the block a couple times

00:24:59.390 --> 00:25:01.150
then i'd see him on the road pick him up we'd

00:25:01.150 --> 00:25:02.809
head out and he goes joe they didn't have any

00:25:02.809 --> 00:25:04.890
weed and i was like all right and he goes that's

00:25:04.890 --> 00:25:07.859
pretty lame and he goes Can I be honest with

00:25:07.859 --> 00:25:10.319
you? And I was like, of course. He goes, I didn't

00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:12.140
come down here to buy weed. I came down here

00:25:12.140 --> 00:25:14.700
to get some dope. And to me, dope meant cocaine,

00:25:14.940 --> 00:25:18.640
but he meant heroin. And I was like, cool, man.

00:25:18.680 --> 00:25:19.980
I've done a bunch of coke. He goes, no, it's

00:25:19.980 --> 00:25:22.640
heroin. I was like, oh, shit. All right. He goes,

00:25:22.660 --> 00:25:24.859
do you want some? I was like, sure. Puts it on

00:25:24.859 --> 00:25:26.720
a CD. I think it was actually even a Nirvana

00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:31.000
CD cover. Drew me out a small line. And as I'm

00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:35.400
driving, I snorted it. And he's like, don't worry.

00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:37.940
We're almost home. It'll really start to hit

00:25:37.940 --> 00:25:40.359
once we get home. And I remember hitting the

00:25:40.359 --> 00:25:43.740
exit for where we were going and it really starting

00:25:43.740 --> 00:25:45.819
to sink in. And I was like, whoa, I don't know

00:25:45.819 --> 00:25:49.200
if I'm good to be driving. And then fortunately

00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:51.079
the house was like two minutes off the exit.

00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:54.440
We get there and I just remember feeling nauseous,

00:25:54.440 --> 00:25:57.400
but high, but nauseous, but good. We went inside.

00:25:58.109 --> 00:26:01.569
parties going on all around me. And I got violently

00:26:01.569 --> 00:26:05.009
ill. I got sick. And that wasn't even from the

00:26:05.009 --> 00:26:07.829
comedown. It was just from the drug itself. It's

00:26:07.829 --> 00:26:14.029
poison. And that just led to many, many weeks

00:26:14.029 --> 00:26:17.589
and months and a couple of years of increasing

00:26:17.589 --> 00:26:20.930
in its usage. Some of the other guys who I went

00:26:20.930 --> 00:26:26.069
to high school with on the other end of town,

00:26:26.130 --> 00:26:28.309
if you will, hung out in different groups. They

00:26:28.309 --> 00:26:31.049
were also simultaneously being exposed to the

00:26:31.049 --> 00:26:33.849
same stuff in a different road, a different pathway.

00:26:34.309 --> 00:26:37.490
And then at some point our roads kind of reconnected,

00:26:37.490 --> 00:26:41.690
which just further made it, it fueled it all.

00:26:42.210 --> 00:26:44.130
And to the point where now we're sticking needles

00:26:44.130 --> 00:26:46.509
in the arm and breaking into people's sheds and

00:26:46.509 --> 00:26:49.910
garages and shit, stealing power tools and really

00:26:49.910 --> 00:26:54.390
going down a path of no return. And a lot of

00:26:54.390 --> 00:26:58.200
them are dead and a lot of them are. All of them

00:26:58.200 --> 00:27:00.119
are either dead, in prison, or still using, except

00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:03.460
for maybe one or two others that eventually stopped.

00:27:05.619 --> 00:27:08.880
When you look back, knowing that a lot of addiction,

00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:13.000
again, is filling a void. Johan Hari says the

00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:15.440
opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection.

00:27:15.859 --> 00:27:19.099
And so having that kind of healed soul usually

00:27:19.099 --> 00:27:22.420
is the enemy of addiction. A lot of the people

00:27:22.420 --> 00:27:24.880
that you hung out with, When you think about

00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:27.480
their upbringing, did you see a kind of similar

00:27:27.480 --> 00:27:29.640
trauma to this group that you were surrounded

00:27:29.640 --> 00:27:34.779
that had lent so heavily into heroin? I didn't

00:27:34.779 --> 00:27:37.420
for a really long time because all my friends

00:27:37.420 --> 00:27:46.799
in this group had very rough childhoods. I by

00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:51.299
far had the top three. Most loving and comfortable

00:27:51.299 --> 00:27:53.920
childhoods out of the 50 people that I would

00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:56.980
hang out with. Let's just say 50 people. Everybody

00:27:56.980 --> 00:28:01.039
had really fucking hard childhoods. Abusive.

00:28:01.180 --> 00:28:03.720
Drunken fathers. No fathers. Mother left them

00:28:03.720 --> 00:28:07.059
and abandoned them. No money. Mustard and Milwaukee's

00:28:07.059 --> 00:28:10.000
best. Only things in the fridge. Nine times out

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:16.519
of ten. Just hard lives. And I was, quite frankly,

00:28:18.890 --> 00:28:21.430
a pussy didn't belong there you know it was just

00:28:21.430 --> 00:28:23.750
why would i end up down this road other than

00:28:23.750 --> 00:28:25.349
for the purpose of seeking it for my own self

00:28:25.349 --> 00:28:32.190
-destruction and looking back i would say it

00:28:32.190 --> 00:28:35.630
has something to do with fatherly love and connection

00:28:35.630 --> 00:28:40.289
or love and connection lost of a parent or desiring

00:28:40.289 --> 00:28:43.309
that of a parent and i i think that that's a

00:28:43.309 --> 00:28:46.349
pretty big one my it that and that stems from

00:28:46.349 --> 00:28:50.809
my dad where he just never I didn't even think

00:28:50.809 --> 00:28:56.470
my dad loved me until 2018, something like that,

00:28:56.549 --> 00:29:01.650
at the absolute lowest point of me ever thinking

00:29:01.650 --> 00:29:05.950
that he liked me, loved me. I literally was convinced

00:29:05.950 --> 00:29:08.890
that he just fucking hated my guts and wouldn't

00:29:08.890 --> 00:29:11.170
come to my funeral because he was just so...

00:29:13.559 --> 00:29:15.980
It's not even like he avoided me. It's not that

00:29:15.980 --> 00:29:19.720
he said bad things to me anymore. But it was

00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:25.160
more or less just like I was a person, like a

00:29:25.160 --> 00:29:28.180
distant relative in his home that was just bothering

00:29:28.180 --> 00:29:31.240
him because I took up a resource for the day

00:29:31.240 --> 00:29:35.559
or his time. It's just very strange. I realized

00:29:35.559 --> 00:29:39.160
that he does love me in the way that he knows

00:29:39.160 --> 00:29:41.000
how to love somebody, and that's in the way that

00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:43.599
he was taught by his own father. And that was

00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:47.039
a very different philosophy than what I use as

00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:51.619
a father. But, you know, it's life. It's complicated

00:29:51.619 --> 00:29:54.200
at times. And relationships and emotions are

00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:57.519
a difficult thing. And so that's, I think, really

00:29:57.519 --> 00:30:01.700
what the key common denominator was, is that

00:30:01.700 --> 00:30:05.200
we all were trying to seek some love that we

00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:08.200
didn't have approval of or possession of from

00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:12.059
a parent specifically. It's been interesting.

00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:15.359
I mean, I've done over 1100 episodes now and

00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:17.980
a lot of people, you know, have similar kind

00:30:17.980 --> 00:30:21.059
of childhoods, but the trauma is different. You

00:30:21.059 --> 00:30:23.200
know, I've had, you know, a boy soldier from

00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:25.240
Sierra Leone whose parents were killed and he

00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:27.119
was forced into killing, you know, genuinely

00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:29.940
forced to be executed or kill for us. And then

00:30:29.940 --> 00:30:32.420
they use drugs to kind of, you know, zombify

00:30:32.420 --> 00:30:35.920
those young men all the way through to, you know,

00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:40.730
one of my my wife's friends, husband, who. kind

00:30:40.730 --> 00:30:43.069
of like you, was a middle child, kind of felt

00:30:43.069 --> 00:30:46.230
unseen, felt unloved. And that was enough to

00:30:46.230 --> 00:30:48.849
send him down the similar kind of path, actually.

00:30:49.769 --> 00:30:51.890
And so this is the danger is when you compare

00:30:51.890 --> 00:30:55.369
trauma, everyone's experience is different. But

00:30:55.369 --> 00:30:57.670
if you don't feel safe and you don't feel loved

00:30:57.670 --> 00:31:00.390
and you don't feel seen as a young person, it

00:31:00.390 --> 00:31:03.029
is going to have an impact. And this is why it's

00:31:03.029 --> 00:31:05.150
so important not to even talk just about our

00:31:05.150 --> 00:31:07.269
childhood, but even our parents' childhood and

00:31:07.269 --> 00:31:09.650
our grandparents' childhood. You start to see

00:31:09.650 --> 00:31:12.569
these dominoes. The book I wrote last year talks

00:31:12.569 --> 00:31:14.910
about this. It's a fiction, but it's storytelling,

00:31:15.210 --> 00:31:18.140
this very concept. And then you look at the impact

00:31:18.140 --> 00:31:20.720
of especially OxyContin and the opioid crisis

00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:24.059
that we have now, where the real epicenters were,

00:31:24.180 --> 00:31:27.519
where American industry had disappeared, mining

00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:31.339
towns, steel towns, car industry, all these areas.

00:31:31.500 --> 00:31:34.920
And it wasn't so much the drug. It was the kind

00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:37.180
of pain that had been put into the communities

00:31:37.180 --> 00:31:40.180
by a lot of these impacts from, again, corporations

00:31:40.180 --> 00:31:43.859
and other areas. So when we really start hearing

00:31:43.859 --> 00:31:46.859
over and over again these kind of stories, Well,

00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:48.900
that's great. Now you've identified some issues

00:31:48.900 --> 00:31:50.779
that we can start talking about and addressing.

00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:53.180
And our generation, yours and mine, and you're

00:31:53.180 --> 00:31:56.799
younger than me, but now as parents, we can do

00:31:56.799 --> 00:31:59.160
the work on ourselves and stop these dominoes

00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:01.400
from then falling on our kids and on our grandkids.

00:32:01.640 --> 00:32:03.960
But if we're not having these kind of courageously

00:32:03.960 --> 00:32:06.539
vulnerable conversations, we're never going to

00:32:06.539 --> 00:32:08.720
get to the root cause. And exactly like you've

00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:13.059
underlined, a parent who themselves was not raised.

00:32:13.900 --> 00:32:16.319
in a way that they can express their own emotions

00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:19.119
properly and tell their daughter or their son

00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:20.900
that they love them and show that they love them

00:32:20.900 --> 00:32:24.000
and be there, then that creates an environment

00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:26.839
for that next child. So whether you were forced

00:32:26.839 --> 00:32:29.440
to kill in Africa or you simply felt unloved

00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:32.000
by a parent that was physically present, the

00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:37.720
damage can still be the same. Yeah. I think it's

00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:42.279
called epigenetics, where you have... Your DNA

00:32:42.279 --> 00:32:46.519
is formed by the past experiences of your lineage,

00:32:46.599 --> 00:32:49.859
your ancestors. And even though you're not living

00:32:49.859 --> 00:32:54.000
with the trauma of whatever happened to my great

00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:57.339
-grandfather in consciousness, woven into the

00:32:57.339 --> 00:33:00.160
fabric of your very existence is some remnants

00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:06.099
of that. I don't want to believe that that has

00:33:06.099 --> 00:33:09.390
an influence on me. because i don't want to believe

00:33:09.390 --> 00:33:11.170
in external things having control or influence

00:33:11.170 --> 00:33:13.569
over me but then i'm left with the question it's

00:33:13.569 --> 00:33:16.329
not external that's internal because it's woven

00:33:16.329 --> 00:33:19.950
into my my very existence my my dna but it's

00:33:19.950 --> 00:33:23.170
it's definitely an interesting topic to to dive

00:33:23.170 --> 00:33:24.950
into and i don't think we know enough about it

00:33:24.950 --> 00:33:27.569
yet that's for sure well i think what's exciting

00:33:27.569 --> 00:33:29.589
is you know with epigenetics we're realizing

00:33:29.589 --> 00:33:33.460
that dna can be changed now Same with the brain,

00:33:33.559 --> 00:33:35.000
the brain health. They used to think that when

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:36.619
it was dead, it was dead. And now we know there's

00:33:36.619 --> 00:33:39.680
neuroplasticity. So I think that it's exciting,

00:33:39.880 --> 00:33:42.319
even if you've got this lineage of trauma or

00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:45.539
alcoholism, whatever the thing is, that you get

00:33:45.539 --> 00:33:47.900
to be the person that starts morphing the DNA

00:33:47.900 --> 00:33:50.640
so that it's different for your children. Which

00:33:50.640 --> 00:33:53.700
is exactly how I end up going from being an 18

00:33:53.700 --> 00:33:58.359
-year -old drug user, abuser, to joining the

00:33:58.359 --> 00:34:01.920
Marines a year later, right? Created the thought,

00:34:01.960 --> 00:34:04.200
the vision, articulated it with clarity within

00:34:04.200 --> 00:34:07.200
my mind. And then I began to enact the behaviors

00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:09.039
that were associated with the emotions and the

00:34:09.039 --> 00:34:10.800
idea of who it was that I was trying to become.

00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:15.079
Therefore, creating that neuroplasticity within

00:34:15.079 --> 00:34:18.079
the brain and then taking drastic action to move

00:34:18.079 --> 00:34:21.800
towards it. That's 100 % true. You're right.

00:34:21.860 --> 00:34:25.219
It's very exciting to know that. And then if

00:34:25.219 --> 00:34:27.320
you can actually stay consistent with it, anything

00:34:27.320 --> 00:34:30.849
is truly possible. So what was it that made you

00:34:30.849 --> 00:34:35.489
turn that corner? My best friend John graduated

00:34:35.489 --> 00:34:39.389
Marine Corps boot camp, without a doubt. We had

00:34:39.389 --> 00:34:44.130
the four J's, John, James, Joe, and Justin. I

00:34:44.130 --> 00:34:46.289
was by far the most erratic out of all of them,

00:34:46.329 --> 00:34:50.150
the most drug -induced. They were not as bad

00:34:50.150 --> 00:34:52.989
as me, for sure. But when John joined the Marine

00:34:52.989 --> 00:34:56.610
Corps, I got to go see his graduation in California.

00:34:57.599 --> 00:34:59.079
And right afterwards, I turned to his little

00:34:59.079 --> 00:35:01.400
brother. I couldn't believe it was my best friend,

00:35:01.519 --> 00:35:04.380
my literal brother, somebody who I had been through

00:35:04.380 --> 00:35:09.760
more with more, a part of more things in my entire

00:35:09.760 --> 00:35:12.659
life than anybody else. And here he was, this

00:35:12.659 --> 00:35:16.840
just different new person, opened up my mind

00:35:16.840 --> 00:35:19.099
to what might be out there. Turned to his little

00:35:19.099 --> 00:35:21.440
brother after we left the graduation that day,

00:35:21.559 --> 00:35:26.670
and I handed him two fresh packs of smokes. He

00:35:26.670 --> 00:35:28.550
goes, what are these for? I said, I'm going to

00:35:28.550 --> 00:35:31.630
join the Marines. And he was just kind of like,

00:35:31.730 --> 00:35:34.210
that's like the weirdest thing in the world for

00:35:34.210 --> 00:35:36.429
this guy to say to me. But sure, takes him, puts

00:35:36.429 --> 00:35:38.849
him in his pocket. And then one year to the day,

00:35:38.869 --> 00:35:42.670
I was walking across that same parade dog. Beautiful.

00:35:43.170 --> 00:35:45.889
So how did you do as far as boot camp, you know,

00:35:45.909 --> 00:35:47.670
with the background, like you said, of, you know,

00:35:47.670 --> 00:35:49.929
initially sports, but then, you know, the addiction

00:35:49.929 --> 00:35:52.429
side too. Did you build yourself up physically

00:35:52.429 --> 00:35:54.849
as well? Oh, hell no, man. You can't recover

00:35:54.849 --> 00:35:59.489
that fast. I was 120 pounds when I went into

00:35:59.489 --> 00:36:02.190
boot camp. And they actually put me on something

00:36:02.190 --> 00:36:04.349
called double rations because you have to eat

00:36:04.349 --> 00:36:06.289
in literally 15 seconds in Marine Corps boot

00:36:06.289 --> 00:36:08.449
camp. That's not an exaggeration. Literally 15

00:36:08.449 --> 00:36:10.409
seconds almost every single day of boot camp.

00:36:12.510 --> 00:36:14.889
In order to keep me from losing so much more

00:36:14.889 --> 00:36:18.369
weight and being considered below the medical

00:36:18.369 --> 00:36:21.050
threshold of healthy, they put me on double rations.

00:36:21.550 --> 00:36:24.230
I was just frail. I barely passed the running.

00:36:24.429 --> 00:36:28.070
I worked myself just to get past that bare minimum,

00:36:28.210 --> 00:36:30.369
and it took about a year to do so, to get clean

00:36:30.369 --> 00:36:34.530
from all the drugs, to stop smoking, to re -shift

00:36:34.530 --> 00:36:39.449
my mindset. It just took an entire year of me

00:36:39.449 --> 00:36:43.039
doing that. And kind of college, but mostly that

00:36:43.039 --> 00:36:45.699
to really get myself there to pass the minimums.

00:36:46.739 --> 00:36:48.820
So where did you find yourself deployed initially?

00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:52.679
I got stationed over in Okinawa, Japan, which

00:36:52.679 --> 00:36:55.739
was cool. It's like Japan's Hawaii. And then

00:36:55.739 --> 00:36:59.619
I went and did three marine expeditionary units.

00:36:59.679 --> 00:37:01.980
So that's where you go on a ship. And during

00:37:01.980 --> 00:37:04.000
this time, of course, the Iraq war is at its

00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:06.980
height. And I started to really panic. because

00:37:06.980 --> 00:37:09.099
i'm here in the marine corps everybody's going

00:37:09.099 --> 00:37:11.760
to war i'm not going to war i got to do some

00:37:11.760 --> 00:37:14.760
really amazing things and i was very appreciative

00:37:14.760 --> 00:37:18.300
and present in those things countries have been

00:37:18.300 --> 00:37:22.179
to militaries that i worked with exploring the

00:37:22.179 --> 00:37:25.300
the great pacific spending time on a navy ship

00:37:25.300 --> 00:37:27.699
which after about two days that was more than

00:37:27.699 --> 00:37:31.059
enough but um you know able to get nine months

00:37:31.059 --> 00:37:35.079
of that that glorious duty um So then I made

00:37:35.079 --> 00:37:37.320
it back to the States, California, volunteered

00:37:37.320 --> 00:37:39.480
to go to Afghanistan, and the Marine Corps told

00:37:39.480 --> 00:37:42.880
me no. I did a thing called request mass, where

00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:45.940
you file an official complaint, which technically

00:37:45.940 --> 00:37:50.059
gets – it's Marine Corps policy and procedure

00:37:50.059 --> 00:37:53.260
that if somebody submits that, it goes to whomever

00:37:53.260 --> 00:37:56.519
it's written to, no matter what. So I wrote mine

00:37:56.519 --> 00:37:58.639
to the commandant of the Marine Corps, literally

00:37:58.639 --> 00:38:00.460
the person in charge of the whole Marine Corps.

00:38:00.920 --> 00:38:02.880
And it didn't make it that far. I'll tell you

00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:06.179
that much right now. It only made it about one,

00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.239
two levels above my leadership. And I got yelled

00:38:09.239 --> 00:38:12.539
at a lot. And then a few weeks after that, though,

00:38:12.559 --> 00:38:14.820
they shipped my ass off to Afghanistan. And that

00:38:14.820 --> 00:38:18.519
was a good experience up in the north. 2010,

00:38:18.719 --> 00:38:24.739
very interesting time. And then came back. This

00:38:24.739 --> 00:38:28.079
part's a little significant. Before I left Afghanistan,

00:38:28.300 --> 00:38:31.539
I ran into a MARSOC team, Marine Special Operations

00:38:31.539 --> 00:38:35.139
Command, Marine Raiders. They had never been

00:38:35.139 --> 00:38:37.199
around before. This was like a new thing in the

00:38:37.199 --> 00:38:40.659
Marine Corps that got reignited in 2006 when

00:38:40.659 --> 00:38:43.380
Rumsfeld said, you guys will now stand up a SOCOM,

00:38:43.559 --> 00:38:46.559
Special Operations Command entity. Force reconnaissance

00:38:46.559 --> 00:38:48.239
has always been around, but they were never a

00:38:48.239 --> 00:38:51.039
part of SOCOM. SOCOM capable, but they were always

00:38:51.039 --> 00:38:52.719
tasked directly by the Marine Corps. It's the

00:38:52.719 --> 00:38:55.159
Marine Corps' way of just you know, being the

00:38:55.159 --> 00:38:58.099
Marine Corps. So they stood that up. I run into

00:38:58.099 --> 00:39:01.039
this team and I met this guy named Chris Antonick.

00:39:01.460 --> 00:39:03.780
Him and his buddy are just having a night themselves.

00:39:03.980 --> 00:39:05.659
They're doing their thing, but I'm kind of just

00:39:05.659 --> 00:39:07.119
sitting there having a conversation with them

00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:09.440
and they're opening up to me what it is they're

00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:11.820
doing. And I was just floored. I thought it was

00:39:11.820 --> 00:39:14.699
super cool and kind of why I joined the Marine

00:39:14.699 --> 00:39:18.360
Corps to begin with. And then the next day I

00:39:18.360 --> 00:39:21.210
went home to the States. And then two days later,

00:39:21.349 --> 00:39:23.369
I think it was two or three days later, he died.

00:39:23.469 --> 00:39:28.389
He stepped on an IED, was amputated, basically

00:39:28.389 --> 00:39:30.570
up to the hip was my understanding. So there

00:39:30.570 --> 00:39:33.690
was no extremity to really stop the bleed. I

00:39:33.690 --> 00:39:34.989
don't know if that's accurate or not. It's just

00:39:34.989 --> 00:39:38.030
kind of what I remember people telling me. And

00:39:38.030 --> 00:39:40.369
for some reason, that really bothered me. I don't

00:39:40.369 --> 00:39:42.809
know why. I didn't even know this guy other than

00:39:42.809 --> 00:39:45.969
that one conversation. So I got out of the Marine

00:39:45.969 --> 00:39:49.829
Corps for about a year and a half. Three weeks

00:39:49.829 --> 00:39:51.429
after getting back from Afghanistan, I got back

00:39:51.429 --> 00:39:54.210
on July 4th, 2010, which was interesting. I got

00:39:54.210 --> 00:39:58.070
out three weeks later on the 23rd and spent the

00:39:58.070 --> 00:40:00.690
next year and a half going, surfing, going to

00:40:00.690 --> 00:40:02.409
like paramedic school, living out of my car for

00:40:02.409 --> 00:40:03.909
about six months, driving across the country,

00:40:04.010 --> 00:40:07.750
just trying to regain and refocus myself. But

00:40:07.750 --> 00:40:09.550
man, I tell you what, I just really, something

00:40:09.550 --> 00:40:11.409
wasn't sitting right with me. So one random day

00:40:11.409 --> 00:40:13.989
I looked up the, what's called MARA admin, Marine

00:40:13.989 --> 00:40:17.179
Corps administrative letters. And at that day,

00:40:17.239 --> 00:40:20.280
they opened up MARSOC tryouts to the inactive

00:40:20.280 --> 00:40:22.280
reserve members. So people who get out of the

00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:24.380
Marine Corps have four years of inactive reserve

00:40:24.380 --> 00:40:26.300
time that you don't do anything, but you're just

00:40:26.300 --> 00:40:29.400
technically in that category. That day, they

00:40:29.400 --> 00:40:34.579
opened it up. Tryouts, selection. So I figured

00:40:34.579 --> 00:40:38.349
out how to get myself in there. about a year

00:40:38.349 --> 00:40:41.130
-long process to forget myself there they kept

00:40:41.130 --> 00:40:43.110
telling me no the entire time finally one day

00:40:43.110 --> 00:40:45.230
they called they said can you leave in like two

00:40:45.230 --> 00:40:47.150
weeks i said yes and then i went to selection

00:40:47.150 --> 00:40:51.269
and i got selected uh went to the nine month

00:40:51.269 --> 00:40:54.570
pipeline to become a marsoc operator and then

00:40:54.570 --> 00:40:57.869
ended up deploying subsequently back to afghanistan

00:40:57.869 --> 00:41:03.099
iraq syria and then iraq another time What was

00:41:03.099 --> 00:41:05.780
it that allowed you to be successful in MARSOC

00:41:05.780 --> 00:41:07.679
selection when so many others rang the bell?

00:41:09.019 --> 00:41:14.980
Dude, it's funny. I always wondered why. I thought

00:41:14.980 --> 00:41:17.179
I bombed it. And for those of you who don't know,

00:41:17.260 --> 00:41:19.320
and this is open source stuff, but selection

00:41:19.320 --> 00:41:23.179
for MARSOC is a very emotionless thing. So they

00:41:23.179 --> 00:41:25.900
talk to you like candidate X, Y, Z. If you ask

00:41:25.900 --> 00:41:27.420
a question, they go, what were your instructions?

00:41:27.659 --> 00:41:29.219
You go, can you repeat the instructions? They

00:41:29.219 --> 00:41:32.679
go candidate X, Y, Z. It's no feedback whatsoever.

00:41:33.099 --> 00:41:35.760
And I had a couple of bad days where I bombed

00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:38.260
like day one where my grip strength gave out

00:41:38.260 --> 00:41:40.119
on me within the first 10 minutes. And it was

00:41:40.119 --> 00:41:43.760
like a five, six hour thing where I was just

00:41:43.760 --> 00:41:46.659
the failure of the day. And then a few, few other

00:41:46.659 --> 00:41:48.679
times, one land nav day where I ended up like,

00:41:48.760 --> 00:41:52.969
I don't know, middle of nowhere lost. When I

00:41:52.969 --> 00:41:54.989
went back, though, as a contractor some years

00:41:54.989 --> 00:41:58.670
later, I got to see my file, which is a pretty

00:41:58.670 --> 00:42:00.889
rare thing. A buddy of mine was a member of the

00:42:00.889 --> 00:42:03.210
cadre and they keep it all pretty in house. But

00:42:03.210 --> 00:42:04.710
he goes, if you want to see your file, obviously,

00:42:04.750 --> 00:42:07.429
I know you so I could show it to you. And man,

00:42:07.610 --> 00:42:09.849
I got to say, I was pretty pumped at how I did

00:42:09.849 --> 00:42:12.389
perform in hindsight because I didn't think that

00:42:12.389 --> 00:42:14.849
the things they were grading, they were grading.

00:42:15.550 --> 00:42:19.849
And it's such a reflection of your. moral character

00:42:19.849 --> 00:42:21.869
and your integrity and they do a really good

00:42:21.869 --> 00:42:24.349
job at identifying that through the exercises

00:42:24.349 --> 00:42:26.510
and the challenges they put you through and so

00:42:26.510 --> 00:42:29.230
i was i was pretty happy to see that the reasons

00:42:29.230 --> 00:42:31.769
why they did select me were because it was someone

00:42:31.769 --> 00:42:33.630
who who had the right attributes for what they

00:42:33.630 --> 00:42:37.650
were looking for so i interviewed world war ii

00:42:37.650 --> 00:42:40.050
veteran frank wright who's one of the very original

00:42:40.050 --> 00:42:44.159
marine raiders and he's on iwo jima yeah And

00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:47.219
he just got promoted. At 100 years old, they

00:42:47.219 --> 00:42:49.039
promoted him. I forget which rank it is. I don't

00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:50.500
want to say the wrong one because I'm obviously

00:42:50.500 --> 00:42:53.219
not military and I'm clueless. But it was amazing.

00:42:53.539 --> 00:42:57.000
So a 100 -year -old Marine got this kind of honorary

00:42:57.000 --> 00:43:01.239
promotion. And he is such an incredible person

00:43:01.239 --> 00:43:04.800
because he wrote a book on PTSD. And that's unheard

00:43:04.800 --> 00:43:06.559
of from that generation. Firstly, for them to

00:43:06.559 --> 00:43:09.360
still be alive. But secondly, to have that, again,

00:43:09.420 --> 00:43:12.539
courageous vulnerability to say, I'm going to

00:43:12.539 --> 00:43:14.940
talk about mental health at 90 something years

00:43:14.940 --> 00:43:18.320
old by that point. So, yeah. Well, man, I got

00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:20.679
to take a note on that because that's got to

00:43:20.679 --> 00:43:23.340
be an interesting book. Well, then a question

00:43:23.340 --> 00:43:25.980
that I love to ask anyone who's been deployed

00:43:25.980 --> 00:43:29.980
in combat. The reason I ask this is when you

00:43:29.980 --> 00:43:32.920
are back at home, we get a very polarized view

00:43:32.920 --> 00:43:35.539
of war. Either kill them all, let God sort them

00:43:35.539 --> 00:43:38.199
out, stack in bodies, or they're all baby killers.

00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:40.260
And in the middle are the men and women that

00:43:40.260 --> 00:43:42.400
we send overseas with our flag on their shoulder

00:43:42.400 --> 00:43:45.380
to protect the people of that country and obviously

00:43:45.380 --> 00:43:48.920
this nation as well. First part of the question,

00:43:49.039 --> 00:43:52.000
regardless of the politics that sent you over

00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:54.360
there, was there a moment where you realized

00:43:54.360 --> 00:43:56.400
that there were some horrific people that needed

00:43:56.400 --> 00:44:00.519
to be taken care of? Absolutely. Absolutely,

00:44:00.679 --> 00:44:07.440
100%. I mean, there's so much to say about that.

00:44:09.340 --> 00:44:14.159
The first realization, up close and personal,

00:44:14.760 --> 00:44:16.679
was actually the people we were working with

00:44:16.679 --> 00:44:21.980
in afghanistan raping little boys called chai

00:44:21.980 --> 00:44:28.579
boys it was explained to me that if you're a

00:44:28.579 --> 00:44:30.780
chai boy in afghan life in afghanistan sucks

00:44:30.780 --> 00:44:32.900
so bad that if you're a chai boy you're doing

00:44:32.900 --> 00:44:36.179
pretty good if you're a child who gets picked

00:44:36.179 --> 00:44:39.329
up by a local warlord or village elder and you

00:44:39.329 --> 00:44:42.389
get raped and put into house slavery for your

00:44:42.389 --> 00:44:44.989
entire childhood you're doing pretty good man

00:44:44.989 --> 00:44:48.150
like i'd be like damn james like abdul picked

00:44:48.150 --> 00:44:51.070
you up bro congrats man congrats that's cool

00:44:51.070 --> 00:44:53.690
because when you develop manly features then

00:44:53.690 --> 00:44:55.849
it becomes gay and then they give you a daughter

00:44:55.849 --> 00:44:57.829
to marry and some cows and some land or something

00:44:57.829 --> 00:45:01.570
like that so it's very strange conflict because

00:45:01.570 --> 00:45:04.769
when we speak about cultural differences this

00:45:04.769 --> 00:45:08.730
kid wants to be there in a sense or is at least

00:45:08.730 --> 00:45:12.250
told that he wants to be there i still can't

00:45:12.250 --> 00:45:14.010
let it sit right with me and yet these are the

00:45:14.010 --> 00:45:16.090
people we're working with and so what do we do

00:45:16.090 --> 00:45:20.110
who really is the bad guys of the taliban or

00:45:20.110 --> 00:45:23.530
is it these guys i i don't know that was the

00:45:23.530 --> 00:45:26.650
first really big major confliction that i had

00:45:26.650 --> 00:45:29.750
when i was going overseas the other was isis

00:45:29.750 --> 00:45:32.449
without a doubt 100 those people carried with

00:45:32.449 --> 00:45:38.019
them this Just insanely. I don't know if you

00:45:38.019 --> 00:45:40.280
believe in God or not. I do. And I don't know

00:45:40.280 --> 00:45:43.179
if I've ever felt demonic possession in my life.

00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:46.320
It was like I was a child fearing the monster

00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:49.219
in my closet. It was just something that was

00:45:49.219 --> 00:45:55.619
so cryptic and evil that I believe all of those.

00:45:55.900 --> 00:45:58.719
As much as I am sad for the fact that they're

00:45:58.719 --> 00:46:01.980
possessed by this evil entity, this evil spirit,

00:46:02.099 --> 00:46:06.010
power, whatever, they need to go. All of them

00:46:06.010 --> 00:46:09.170
need to go. There's no room for that in this

00:46:09.170 --> 00:46:11.429
world, in my opinion, because it's just so fucking

00:46:11.429 --> 00:46:15.889
horrible. When you reflect back now, all the

00:46:15.889 --> 00:46:18.570
places that you served, were there any common

00:46:18.570 --> 00:46:21.170
denominators, again, generational trauma that

00:46:21.170 --> 00:46:24.449
was creating such violent hatred in these men?

00:46:31.570 --> 00:46:33.090
That's a great question. I haven't really thought

00:46:33.090 --> 00:46:35.840
about it. I'm sure that there is. I mean, life

00:46:35.840 --> 00:46:37.920
in the middle of desert sucks. That's for sure.

00:46:38.659 --> 00:46:40.639
People in the States take these things for granted

00:46:40.639 --> 00:46:43.860
where you have safety and security. In most of

00:46:43.860 --> 00:46:45.500
the world, people can literally just come up

00:46:45.500 --> 00:46:47.000
to your house and hack your family to death in

00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:49.360
front of you and whatever. Deal with it, kid.

00:46:50.260 --> 00:46:52.440
That's not a reality here in the United States.

00:46:52.480 --> 00:46:54.940
Sure, things happen and people are murdered innocently,

00:46:54.980 --> 00:46:59.239
but it's not as easily done as it is in the vast

00:46:59.239 --> 00:47:01.539
majority of these places. It's how ISIS got so

00:47:01.539 --> 00:47:03.000
big to begin with. They just went across the

00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:04.619
countryside slaughtering these little villages.

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:12.300
It was insane. So I'm sure there is. I wouldn't

00:47:12.300 --> 00:47:14.300
doubt it. I'm sure that the last 20 years of

00:47:14.300 --> 00:47:16.380
the global war on terrorism didn't help that

00:47:16.380 --> 00:47:18.739
either. I'm sure that there's all sorts of contributing

00:47:18.739 --> 00:47:21.039
factors as to why somebody would become radicalized

00:47:21.039 --> 00:47:25.619
in the way that they are. You go back to Wahhabi

00:47:25.619 --> 00:47:28.280
Islam extremism, which was created in Saudi Arabia.

00:47:29.710 --> 00:47:32.050
you know nation i don't know like 1400s or something

00:47:32.050 --> 00:47:33.989
like that uh i could be wrong on those dates

00:47:33.989 --> 00:47:37.630
but it goes back quite quite a ways and life

00:47:37.630 --> 00:47:39.809
is hard and it's painful and if people have something

00:47:39.809 --> 00:47:43.309
they can direct that anger towards then it's

00:47:43.309 --> 00:47:44.949
an opportunity to become radicalized i think

00:47:44.949 --> 00:47:48.889
this is i think one of the the things that's

00:47:48.889 --> 00:47:51.230
really starting to be glaring these days you

00:47:51.230 --> 00:47:53.309
know the i think the south hard guys had it right

00:47:53.309 --> 00:47:55.989
that whole team america world police thing you

00:47:55.989 --> 00:47:59.389
know it just creates more more issues when we

00:47:59.389 --> 00:48:01.449
start you know going to other countries and you

00:48:01.449 --> 00:48:03.030
know especially if we're not if we're going in

00:48:03.030 --> 00:48:05.369
the wrong way with the the lack of education

00:48:05.369 --> 00:48:07.889
which i've heard a lot of your peers say like

00:48:07.889 --> 00:48:09.590
when we went to afghanistan it was completely

00:48:09.590 --> 00:48:12.789
tribal there was no country of afghanistan so

00:48:12.789 --> 00:48:14.789
everyone was set up for failure and then obviously

00:48:14.789 --> 00:48:16.570
when you're there for a certain amount of time

00:48:16.570 --> 00:48:19.210
what was originally seen as an ally becomes an

00:48:19.210 --> 00:48:21.170
enemy and now you're breeding terrorists that

00:48:21.170 --> 00:48:24.530
way but it seems like the converse actually would

00:48:24.530 --> 00:48:27.590
be far more effective we fix our own country

00:48:28.219 --> 00:48:30.260
And make it a place where people look overseas

00:48:30.260 --> 00:48:32.139
and go, man, they've got their shit together.

00:48:32.340 --> 00:48:35.000
And then we permeate the culture out rather than

00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:37.960
force it on people. I talk about this from time

00:48:37.960 --> 00:48:41.800
to time where I'm not a world police advocate.

00:48:41.960 --> 00:48:44.460
I think Truman post -World War II created the

00:48:44.460 --> 00:48:46.400
military industrial complex through the decision,

00:48:46.500 --> 00:48:48.619
whether intentional or unintentional, through

00:48:48.619 --> 00:48:50.980
the decision of policing the world and building

00:48:50.980 --> 00:48:53.579
up these economies. If you look at Afghanistan,

00:48:53.699 --> 00:48:56.239
we crushed the Taliban in like a couple of weeks.

00:48:56.500 --> 00:48:59.199
And then what do we do? kind of left them to

00:48:59.199 --> 00:49:02.679
go to pakistan we went to iraq all for the purpose

00:49:02.679 --> 00:49:04.280
of just breaking it down and trying to build

00:49:04.280 --> 00:49:06.599
it back up again but when you look at the lines

00:49:06.599 --> 00:49:08.840
that were drawn in post -world war ii middle

00:49:08.840 --> 00:49:10.900
east it's all made up by a bunch of foreigners

00:49:10.900 --> 00:49:12.900
french and english and british and american people

00:49:12.900 --> 00:49:16.000
who have no idea of what's going on there and

00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:19.500
then we try to enforce it we're surprised when

00:49:19.500 --> 00:49:21.579
they fight each other the resources are adequate

00:49:21.579 --> 00:49:23.679
enough but yet scarce enough to where it's created

00:49:23.679 --> 00:49:26.039
its own internal conflicts and it's just like

00:49:26.039 --> 00:49:29.650
what are we doing if I'm actually so ecstatic

00:49:29.650 --> 00:49:31.170
that they just changed it back to the Department

00:49:31.170 --> 00:49:34.710
of War because that's what it is. Stop with the

00:49:34.710 --> 00:49:37.230
lies and the disillusion of, oh, we're doing

00:49:37.230 --> 00:49:39.429
this in the name of defense. No, we're doing

00:49:39.429 --> 00:49:42.889
these things in the name of war. These are acts

00:49:42.889 --> 00:49:46.719
of war that are now being. fueled by the desire

00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:48.900
for certain companies to be making a bunch of

00:49:48.900 --> 00:49:51.039
money off of it. Converting nations to NATO means

00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:52.980
they have to convert their armament. I mean,

00:49:53.000 --> 00:49:55.039
there's so many trillions of dollars being made

00:49:55.039 --> 00:49:57.380
in this. And that ultimately was a huge reason

00:49:57.380 --> 00:49:59.400
why I ended up getting out. So I was just sick

00:49:59.400 --> 00:50:01.340
and tired of it. Sick and tired of going to funerals

00:50:01.340 --> 00:50:04.219
and seeing widows and fatherless children over

00:50:04.219 --> 00:50:07.159
this dumb shit. If we have an enemy and you send

00:50:07.159 --> 00:50:10.320
in the United States Marine Corps, special operations

00:50:10.320 --> 00:50:13.360
are nuts. Send in the infantry and they will

00:50:13.360 --> 00:50:17.519
destroy it. Then you bring them home. Focus all

00:50:17.519 --> 00:50:19.440
those hundreds of billions, trillions of dollars

00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:21.960
on the first responding resources here within

00:50:21.960 --> 00:50:24.840
the United States. I think that that is where

00:50:24.840 --> 00:50:26.900
this is needed more than anything. Let's raise

00:50:26.900 --> 00:50:30.019
the standard of our police. Let's raise the standard

00:50:30.019 --> 00:50:36.780
of our firefighters. Let's raise the standard

00:50:36.780 --> 00:50:38.820
of the people who are literally saving the lives

00:50:38.820 --> 00:50:43.219
of the people we love. start to disperse it out

00:50:43.219 --> 00:50:45.380
further wherever it could be used imagine if

00:50:45.380 --> 00:50:47.579
we didn't spend trillions of dollars in iraq

00:50:47.579 --> 00:50:50.940
the last 20 years like what could that have done

00:50:50.940 --> 00:50:54.460
it's it's we'll never know but i'm a big believer

00:50:54.460 --> 00:50:58.019
in that for sure this is a conversation i have

00:50:58.019 --> 00:51:00.139
with many many people in the military and it's

00:51:00.139 --> 00:51:03.659
a good comparison a parallel is you know the

00:51:03.659 --> 00:51:06.800
nation's health so we have 70 plus percent of

00:51:06.800 --> 00:51:10.760
america is obese or overweight crazy That spans

00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:13.019
obviously decades. So we're talking left and

00:51:13.019 --> 00:51:14.699
right, left and right, over and over and over

00:51:14.699 --> 00:51:16.179
again. It's getting worse and worse and worse

00:51:16.179 --> 00:51:19.880
and worse. And when you have a profit -based

00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:23.019
disease care system, where are the checks and

00:51:23.019 --> 00:51:25.639
balances to make people healthy? There's no money

00:51:25.639 --> 00:51:28.500
in dead, and there's very little money in prevention

00:51:28.500 --> 00:51:30.760
at the moment, but there's a lot of money in

00:51:30.760 --> 00:51:33.900
sick. A lot of money in sick. So if we keep our

00:51:33.900 --> 00:51:36.199
customers sick, and it's ironic, it's really

00:51:36.199 --> 00:51:38.400
no different to the pushes that you were dealing

00:51:38.400 --> 00:51:40.519
with when you were young and getting your drugs

00:51:40.519 --> 00:51:43.280
from then. First taste is free, you know what

00:51:43.280 --> 00:51:46.000
I mean? And then we got a patient for life or

00:51:46.000 --> 00:51:47.960
an addict for life, depending on how you look

00:51:47.960 --> 00:51:51.159
at it. And I see the same with war. The World

00:51:51.159 --> 00:51:54.719
War II generation, I mean, incredible. That's

00:51:54.719 --> 00:51:56.739
the one that we really do hold up as like, okay,

00:51:56.760 --> 00:52:00.969
this is when you need to go to war. But in the

00:52:00.969 --> 00:52:05.150
last few decades, you look at the money that

00:52:05.150 --> 00:52:08.289
was made by weapons companies, uniforms companies,

00:52:08.670 --> 00:52:11.289
MRE companies, all these companies that are rebuilding,

00:52:11.530 --> 00:52:14.829
air quotes, after a war, trillions and trillions

00:52:14.829 --> 00:52:17.010
of dollars. Where are the checks and balances

00:52:17.010 --> 00:52:20.090
to stop sending our young men and women overseas

00:52:20.090 --> 00:52:25.190
in a war while these companies are making billions

00:52:25.190 --> 00:52:28.539
and billions and billions of dollars? Yeah, I

00:52:28.539 --> 00:52:32.139
don't know if it ever stops, man. I think that

00:52:32.139 --> 00:52:35.840
you need major drastic change. I think that's

00:52:35.840 --> 00:52:41.619
a part of the reason why, without going too far

00:52:41.619 --> 00:52:43.980
into my own personal beliefs, I mean, I think

00:52:43.980 --> 00:52:46.219
that's the reason why people tried to kill Trump.

00:52:46.320 --> 00:52:48.159
I think that that's a big reason why people,

00:52:48.300 --> 00:52:50.280
anybody who talks bad about the military industrial

00:52:50.280 --> 00:52:52.900
complex, I mean, Boeing had like three whistleblowers

00:52:52.900 --> 00:52:58.480
killed. What? What? You know, the whole Epstein

00:52:58.480 --> 00:53:00.639
thing, I think it's all interconnected at some

00:53:00.639 --> 00:53:02.880
point. That's just my own belief system. But

00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:05.380
based off what I've seen and what I know about,

00:53:05.539 --> 00:53:08.440
Ukraine was never going to happen. The Minsk

00:53:08.440 --> 00:53:10.619
Accords were ready to be signed, and it was our

00:53:10.619 --> 00:53:13.059
administration that sent somebody over there

00:53:13.059 --> 00:53:15.219
to say, you're not going to sign this. You will

00:53:15.219 --> 00:53:17.780
convert to NATO because it's going to make us

00:53:17.780 --> 00:53:20.000
a lot of money. And if you guys go to war, guess

00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:22.400
what? It's going to make us a lot of money. Those

00:53:22.400 --> 00:53:24.539
are the only two choices you have. You look at

00:53:24.539 --> 00:53:27.219
Iraq, you look at Afghanistan, and it's just

00:53:27.219 --> 00:53:30.739
such a joke what that's all done and turned into.

00:53:31.159 --> 00:53:33.840
But I think once the writing is on the wall and

00:53:33.840 --> 00:53:36.679
somebody who has a bit of integrity has the opportunity

00:53:36.679 --> 00:53:39.840
to close out that. open check, close out that

00:53:39.840 --> 00:53:42.980
door of income. Well, what do they do is they

00:53:42.980 --> 00:53:45.699
just completely re -divert and create a new conflict.

00:53:45.960 --> 00:53:48.739
And man, that's just one of the biggest downfalls

00:53:48.739 --> 00:53:52.980
since 2000 is like, what's going to happen here

00:53:52.980 --> 00:53:55.480
now? I hope that we see an end in it. And I only

00:53:55.480 --> 00:53:58.159
think that we can if we have successful business

00:53:58.159 --> 00:54:01.119
leaders and combat veterans in our government

00:54:01.119 --> 00:54:03.019
in the United States. And I think right now we

00:54:03.019 --> 00:54:07.030
see the largest demographic of businessmen. and

00:54:07.030 --> 00:54:10.070
combat experienced veterans in our government,

00:54:10.210 --> 00:54:12.889
which is what I think we need to keep in order

00:54:12.889 --> 00:54:16.710
to maintain this shift in foreign policy. And

00:54:16.710 --> 00:54:19.510
hopefully this whole Ukraine thing does stop

00:54:19.510 --> 00:54:21.590
soon. Hopefully the Israeli thing does stop soon.

00:54:21.690 --> 00:54:23.369
But if you've ever heard of the Ben -Gurion Canal,

00:54:23.610 --> 00:54:25.349
I don't think it will until that's completed.

00:54:25.469 --> 00:54:27.289
That's just, again, my own personal belief systems.

00:54:27.429 --> 00:54:33.260
But it's a bitch, that's for sure. Yeah. I mean,

00:54:33.280 --> 00:54:35.420
I've had people on the show that are supposed

00:54:35.420 --> 00:54:37.840
to be massive diplomats, you know, that, you

00:54:37.840 --> 00:54:39.260
know, I was hoping we're going to get in and

00:54:39.260 --> 00:54:41.519
they get in and then they're just turning their

00:54:41.519 --> 00:54:43.400
head at what's going on in Gaza, you know, and

00:54:43.400 --> 00:54:46.280
tens of thousands of children. And, you know,

00:54:46.280 --> 00:54:48.039
it doesn't matter. You're not taking sides when

00:54:48.039 --> 00:54:50.500
you say, OK, this has gone too far. Like all

00:54:50.500 --> 00:54:52.940
these children are being killed. And this is

00:54:52.940 --> 00:54:54.780
what we I think we need. We need moral courage.

00:54:55.320 --> 00:54:57.739
You know, that's the real prerequisite. People

00:54:57.739 --> 00:54:59.440
that are, you know, are going to stand up and

00:54:59.440 --> 00:55:01.900
say, this is wrong. It's that simple. There's

00:55:01.900 --> 00:55:04.860
so many holy books out there that share the same

00:55:04.860 --> 00:55:06.920
common denominator. It's pretty fucking obvious

00:55:06.920 --> 00:55:10.320
what is a good deed and what is a bad deed. And

00:55:10.320 --> 00:55:13.079
I think that's what we really need is a system

00:55:13.079 --> 00:55:16.420
that chooses real leaders again. You know, we've

00:55:16.420 --> 00:55:18.519
got this system where you can be president. If

00:55:18.519 --> 00:55:20.460
you just take enough handouts from companies,

00:55:20.619 --> 00:55:22.659
they'll get you there. You know, here's the puppet

00:55:22.659 --> 00:55:25.679
strings, right? Let's go. As a nation, we've

00:55:25.679 --> 00:55:28.440
lost the fact that we are the taxpayer, that

00:55:28.440 --> 00:55:32.320
they are our employees, not our dictators. And

00:55:32.320 --> 00:55:34.579
if we can go back to a system where you truly

00:55:34.579 --> 00:55:37.900
allow real leaders to rise through a system,

00:55:37.980 --> 00:55:40.619
they don't have to have billions of dollars and

00:55:40.619 --> 00:55:43.599
they can have ethics, then I think we're going

00:55:43.599 --> 00:55:45.800
to see that. But what's beautiful is I'm seeing

00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:48.820
the chinks in the armor now, these cracks. The

00:55:48.820 --> 00:55:51.320
average person is seeing the bullshit from both

00:55:51.320 --> 00:55:54.349
sides. And I think just as you alluded to, The

00:55:54.349 --> 00:55:57.409
real, you know, morally courageous veterans'

00:55:57.789 --> 00:56:00.590
voices, that's what we do need to hear. The men

00:56:00.590 --> 00:56:03.730
and women that went to war, they're the ones

00:56:03.730 --> 00:56:06.170
we need to listen to, not the flag -waving politician

00:56:06.170 --> 00:56:08.530
that sends those children and none of his own

00:56:08.530 --> 00:56:11.659
family ever serve. Yeah. And I do also want to

00:56:11.659 --> 00:56:14.519
say first responders too, man. I think we need

00:56:14.519 --> 00:56:16.960
first responders more than combat veterans. I

00:56:16.960 --> 00:56:19.619
think, at least in my mind, I line this up to

00:56:19.619 --> 00:56:21.719
where local politics, local governance, which

00:56:21.719 --> 00:56:24.139
I think is the most important, needs to be just

00:56:24.139 --> 00:56:27.860
saturated and flooded with all of our first responders.

00:56:27.940 --> 00:56:31.139
Because you guys are the ones who are just dealing

00:56:31.139 --> 00:56:32.900
with the worst of the worst day in, day out.

00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:34.639
You see the policies, the procedures that need

00:56:34.639 --> 00:56:36.760
to be changed, the fiscal budgets, all that stuff,

00:56:36.820 --> 00:56:39.440
this actual streets of the cities that we're

00:56:39.440 --> 00:56:41.659
in. living in and then and the problems that

00:56:41.659 --> 00:56:44.360
are persistent in it you guys all you do is live

00:56:44.360 --> 00:56:45.960
in the problems and then when you look at like

00:56:45.960 --> 00:56:47.880
a foreign or like a federal government perspective

00:56:47.880 --> 00:56:49.380
that's where i really start to see like a lot

00:56:49.380 --> 00:56:50.920
of the veteran influence not to say they can't

00:56:50.920 --> 00:56:52.860
be intermingled or interchanged i think they

00:56:52.860 --> 00:56:56.039
should be but the fact that we have the experience

00:56:56.039 --> 00:56:58.800
overseas and and the life experiences between

00:56:58.800 --> 00:57:01.059
both of those demographics when you see a dead

00:57:01.059 --> 00:57:03.599
child it's like what the freaking hell are we

00:57:03.599 --> 00:57:06.539
doing it's it's and and also are strong enough

00:57:06.539 --> 00:57:08.940
physically and mentally and emotionally you know

00:57:08.940 --> 00:57:10.679
capable through their morality like you said

00:57:10.679 --> 00:57:14.500
to to just say no this is insane and and it needs

00:57:14.500 --> 00:57:17.840
to to definitely stop um i think that's how we

00:57:17.840 --> 00:57:21.519
make some seriously drastic change for sure I've

00:57:21.519 --> 00:57:22.960
said this, and I'm actually in the process of

00:57:22.960 --> 00:57:25.480
making my latest book into a TV show. And the

00:57:25.480 --> 00:57:29.559
reason being, you don't have your Jocko Willink

00:57:29.559 --> 00:57:32.320
or, you know, insert whoever, a well -known military

00:57:32.320 --> 00:57:35.380
member from police or fire or EMS. You just don't.

00:57:35.519 --> 00:57:38.159
And yet you think about what is the rawest view

00:57:38.159 --> 00:57:40.460
of society. It's those professions. We're the

00:57:40.460 --> 00:57:43.179
ones that see. Is this system working? Is this

00:57:43.179 --> 00:57:46.599
system broken? And so I think they are absolutely

00:57:46.599 --> 00:57:48.860
voices that we need to hear. And I'm hoping that

00:57:48.860 --> 00:57:50.860
this show is going to really get people kind

00:57:50.860 --> 00:57:53.239
of questioning some of the things that firefighters

00:57:53.239 --> 00:57:55.519
just sit around the station petting a Dalmatian

00:57:55.519 --> 00:57:58.519
and waiting to get a cat out of a tree. No, they're

00:57:58.519 --> 00:58:01.559
working 24 hours a day, getting forced in shift

00:58:01.559 --> 00:58:04.300
over shift over shift. And those frequent flyers

00:58:04.300 --> 00:58:07.400
that you alluded to are the desperation that

00:58:07.400 --> 00:58:09.320
we have in this country, one of the most affluent

00:58:09.320 --> 00:58:12.059
countries in the world. the homelessness, the

00:58:12.059 --> 00:58:14.440
addiction, the sex work, the gang membership.

00:58:14.760 --> 00:58:17.619
There are root causes for all of these, and they

00:58:17.619 --> 00:58:20.739
are reversible, but not if you just, again, wave

00:58:20.739 --> 00:58:23.699
a flag and take your left or your right stance

00:58:23.699 --> 00:58:27.099
and fix absolutely nothing. I'll just kind of

00:58:27.099 --> 00:58:28.920
also add this in really quickly, because I think

00:58:28.920 --> 00:58:30.960
this is super important, is the personification

00:58:30.960 --> 00:58:36.860
of what a politician is supposed to be. Imagine

00:58:36.860 --> 00:58:40.530
this. You can convince an entire nation, a population

00:58:40.530 --> 00:58:43.130
of the most powerful nation in the world, that

00:58:43.130 --> 00:58:46.750
in order to be one of its leaders, in order to

00:58:46.750 --> 00:58:49.929
be one of your leaders, the person who's going

00:58:49.929 --> 00:58:53.429
to lead you has to exemplify these characteristics,

00:58:53.829 --> 00:58:56.710
this persona, this demographic. And if they don't,

00:58:56.710 --> 00:58:58.369
guess what? They're not a good quality candidate

00:58:58.369 --> 00:59:03.880
for that. When I look at the personification

00:59:03.880 --> 00:59:06.800
of what a political person is, they're the easiest

00:59:06.800 --> 00:59:09.420
person to blackmail in the world. They're the

00:59:09.420 --> 00:59:11.039
easiest person to find dirt on. Why? Because

00:59:11.039 --> 00:59:14.079
they're supposed to be this clean cut, no past

00:59:14.079 --> 00:59:18.239
history, drugs, alcohol, anger issue, just everything's

00:59:18.239 --> 00:59:21.639
so perfect. Yale, Harvard University grad. Why

00:59:21.639 --> 00:59:23.659
would we want that to be the personification

00:59:23.659 --> 00:59:25.739
of the person who represents the vast majority

00:59:25.739 --> 00:59:27.980
of the demographic of our nation when that's

00:59:27.980 --> 00:59:31.539
not us? And on top of that, they're easy to blackmail

00:59:31.539 --> 00:59:34.119
because when I do a search history on them through

00:59:34.119 --> 00:59:38.579
Pegasus or some sort of remote technologically

00:59:38.579 --> 00:59:41.920
advanced thing, when I put some detection on

00:59:41.920 --> 00:59:44.039
them for a little while, I quickly observe all

00:59:44.039 --> 00:59:45.800
the things that they keep secret from society.

00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:47.880
And now I could easily manipulate and blackmail

00:59:47.880 --> 00:59:49.480
them. mail them into doing exactly what I want

00:59:49.480 --> 00:59:51.659
them to do you know who I do want to represent

00:59:51.659 --> 00:59:54.139
me I want it to be somebody who's been through

00:59:54.139 --> 00:59:57.829
some shit who's honest about it Who's not proud

00:59:57.829 --> 01:00:00.969
of it, but uses it as a means and a tool for

01:00:00.969 --> 01:00:03.190
positive change in their life and in the lives

01:00:03.190 --> 01:00:05.050
of the people around them. And they're not perfect

01:00:05.050 --> 01:00:07.030
and they're not going to be perfect. And they're

01:00:07.030 --> 01:00:08.889
always going to struggle with being a human being.

01:00:08.929 --> 01:00:11.010
But you know what? They are who they say they

01:00:11.010 --> 01:00:13.289
are and they do what they say they do. And they

01:00:13.289 --> 01:00:15.309
can't be blackmailed. And what's interesting

01:00:15.309 --> 01:00:16.849
is that's actually one of the attributes looked

01:00:16.849 --> 01:00:19.409
for in the special operations teams and the intelligence

01:00:19.409 --> 01:00:21.510
community like the CIA and stuff is, can you

01:00:21.510 --> 01:00:24.239
be blackmailed? Are you who you say you are?

01:00:24.280 --> 01:00:26.280
Do you live with raw authenticity? I've known

01:00:26.280 --> 01:00:29.219
guys who are buying hookers and doing blow and

01:00:29.219 --> 01:00:31.340
saying all this stuff on their forms. They got

01:00:31.340 --> 01:00:33.079
selected because they don't do it anymore. They

01:00:33.079 --> 01:00:34.760
made a life change and they're open about it.

01:00:34.960 --> 01:00:37.079
Versus the guy who slept with one prostitute

01:00:37.079 --> 01:00:39.360
10 years ago and like, oh, he's all secretive

01:00:39.360 --> 01:00:41.559
about it. Even though he's a stud, they drop

01:00:41.559 --> 01:00:44.599
him because he's easy to be influenced and manipulated.

01:00:45.139 --> 01:00:46.719
And I think that that's just really important

01:00:46.719 --> 01:00:49.139
to say. I want my first responders and military

01:00:49.139 --> 01:00:50.780
people to be representing the majority of the

01:00:50.780 --> 01:00:53.889
country for sure. It's so funny you say that

01:00:53.889 --> 01:00:55.570
because I couldn't agree more. And I've always

01:00:55.570 --> 01:00:57.429
said this, that we have an illusion in the fire

01:00:57.429 --> 01:01:00.610
service that they want choir boys to put on the

01:01:00.610 --> 01:01:03.250
uniform. Hell no, I don't want choir boys running

01:01:03.250 --> 01:01:05.530
into a burning building to save my child when

01:01:05.530 --> 01:01:07.570
I'm out of town off work. You know, like, no,

01:01:07.690 --> 01:01:10.449
not at all. Sorry. No, no, you're good. But it's

01:01:10.449 --> 01:01:12.750
funny. My very first application I put in was

01:01:12.750 --> 01:01:15.449
Miami Beach. And it was kind of like you do this

01:01:15.449 --> 01:01:17.289
test and it goes out to all these different departments.

01:01:18.079 --> 01:01:20.320
And I was honest about some stuff I'd done in

01:01:20.320 --> 01:01:22.239
Japan. Some was legal when I was over there.

01:01:22.300 --> 01:01:24.539
Some was illegal. Just, you know, drugs that

01:01:24.539 --> 01:01:26.360
ironically now we know are very, very effective

01:01:26.360 --> 01:01:29.400
for PTSD, by the way. Had a time in my life,

01:01:29.480 --> 01:01:31.380
you know, to watch Planet of the Apes and everyone

01:01:31.380 --> 01:01:33.360
was a monkey when the lights came up and danced

01:01:33.360 --> 01:01:36.579
a lot, hugged a lot of Japanese people and was

01:01:36.579 --> 01:01:39.059
honest. And they literally, he screwed it up

01:01:39.059 --> 01:01:41.730
and threw it in my face. And I was like, oh,

01:01:41.909 --> 01:01:44.690
so you've got to lie to be a firefighter. And

01:01:44.690 --> 01:01:46.969
I lied my way through three polygraphs. And again,

01:01:47.090 --> 01:01:48.670
I'm not saying this. This is not something to

01:01:48.670 --> 01:01:50.570
brag about. It's embarrassing that that's what

01:01:50.570 --> 01:01:53.329
has to be done. But this is the facade. And then

01:01:53.329 --> 01:01:56.710
you add on that mental health conversation. If

01:01:56.710 --> 01:01:58.730
we're not talking about the shit that we've been

01:01:58.730 --> 01:02:00.650
through before we put on the Marine uniform,

01:02:00.829 --> 01:02:03.449
the firefighter uniform, then we're missing a

01:02:03.449 --> 01:02:05.489
huge piece of the first responder or military

01:02:05.489 --> 01:02:08.679
member mental health puzzle. The fact that you

01:02:08.679 --> 01:02:11.340
say I will serve when 90 whatever percent of

01:02:11.340 --> 01:02:14.500
the country doesn't, there's a reason for that.

01:02:14.619 --> 01:02:17.280
And you take that trauma and if you work through

01:02:17.280 --> 01:02:19.059
it and you bring it out to the front and you

01:02:19.059 --> 01:02:20.900
acknowledge it at the front door, the Marines

01:02:20.900 --> 01:02:23.579
or the fire service, and you say, hey, we're

01:02:23.579 --> 01:02:25.260
going to help you work through that at the same

01:02:25.260 --> 01:02:27.179
time as you're doing PT and weapons training

01:02:27.179 --> 01:02:30.739
and taking doors. Because we understand that

01:02:30.739 --> 01:02:32.619
that's going to become an asset. It is going

01:02:32.619 --> 01:02:34.880
to be a strength, but you can't bury it down.

01:02:34.980 --> 01:02:36.559
Otherwise, it will fracture your foundation.

01:02:37.340 --> 01:02:39.659
so whether it's the president of the united states

01:02:39.659 --> 01:02:42.400
or a firefighter or a marine it's the same exact

01:02:42.400 --> 01:02:45.699
conversation and i mean when we start talking

01:02:45.699 --> 01:02:49.219
about this stuff too it never ceases to amaze

01:02:49.219 --> 01:02:52.659
me i just did the seven day track with the all

01:02:52.659 --> 01:02:56.039
-american leadership group and knolls up in wyoming

01:02:56.039 --> 01:02:59.659
seven days strangers no cell phones very diverse

01:02:59.659 --> 01:03:03.420
group of perspectives but When you start talking

01:03:03.420 --> 01:03:05.360
with people and you're not distracted by your

01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:08.539
technology and mobile devices, you have a lot

01:03:08.539 --> 01:03:10.639
more in common than you ever could have imagined.

01:03:10.980 --> 01:03:12.820
And I don't know if there's a human being on

01:03:12.820 --> 01:03:14.900
this earth that I've ever come into contact with

01:03:14.900 --> 01:03:17.420
that I've gotten to know a little bit where I

01:03:17.420 --> 01:03:19.159
wasn't able to find something that we had in

01:03:19.159 --> 01:03:22.320
common. And it only makes me wonder how much

01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:24.960
more we would all have in common if for whatever

01:03:24.960 --> 01:03:28.519
reason we weren't ashamed of the things that

01:03:28.519 --> 01:03:31.099
we've done and talked about them more openly.

01:03:32.750 --> 01:03:34.710
A hundred percent. That's actually a good segue.

01:03:34.809 --> 01:03:36.769
I mentioned earlier, it was a two -part question

01:03:36.769 --> 01:03:39.909
as far as when you've been in combat. The other

01:03:39.909 --> 01:03:42.730
side that we don't hear on the news is the kindness

01:03:42.730 --> 01:03:45.230
and compassion by our men and women in uniform.

01:03:45.650 --> 01:03:47.969
So when you reflect back on your career, whether

01:03:47.969 --> 01:03:50.449
it was your own men, in this case, men and women,

01:03:50.530 --> 01:03:52.369
whether it was some of the indigenous people

01:03:52.369 --> 01:03:54.690
you were working to protect or working alongside,

01:03:55.050 --> 01:03:57.610
what are moments of kindness and compassion that

01:03:57.610 --> 01:04:07.960
really resonate with you? I'm sure there's a

01:04:07.960 --> 01:04:12.579
lot of examples that I'm just not thinking of.

01:04:12.679 --> 01:04:16.059
But the first thing that comes to my mind is

01:04:16.059 --> 01:04:19.500
the food, the meals. They're always bringing

01:04:19.500 --> 01:04:24.300
us food and tea and meals and tea and lots of

01:04:24.300 --> 01:04:28.820
tea. But I liked it. I didn't mind it. They don't

01:04:28.820 --> 01:04:31.519
have a lot, man. You know, I eat spam every day

01:04:31.519 --> 01:04:33.559
for 30 some days straight. I'll never eat it

01:04:33.559 --> 01:04:36.579
again. It's absolutely disgusting. All my Hawaiian

01:04:36.579 --> 01:04:38.880
brothers and sisters, power to you. I could not

01:04:38.880 --> 01:04:43.360
do it. But that, I remember I was so pissed off,

01:04:43.380 --> 01:04:46.900
like day like four of eating spam all day. Spam

01:04:46.900 --> 01:04:51.300
on like a tortilla roll type of bread they had

01:04:51.300 --> 01:04:53.659
out there. And I was like, this is bullshit.

01:04:53.860 --> 01:04:56.219
This is like three meals a day, one little spam

01:04:56.219 --> 01:04:58.860
roll. I was starting to get really upset. But

01:04:58.860 --> 01:05:00.900
then I was watching all the guerrilla fighters

01:05:00.900 --> 01:05:02.860
and I realized that they actually weren't getting

01:05:02.860 --> 01:05:04.699
as big of roles as we were. They were having

01:05:04.699 --> 01:05:07.119
to split theirs in half and share them with somebody.

01:05:07.539 --> 01:05:11.639
And we had like a full roll of shitty spam. And

01:05:11.639 --> 01:05:16.880
so that, that just. man that's a that's a big

01:05:16.880 --> 01:05:19.539
deal to me you know food water you don't have

01:05:19.539 --> 01:05:22.599
any and yet you still bother to give something

01:05:22.599 --> 01:05:25.039
to somebody that's a real testament to somebody's

01:05:25.039 --> 01:05:27.340
faith in in god and life and the abundance of

01:05:27.340 --> 01:05:30.760
the universe pretty cool absolutely it's amazing

01:05:30.760 --> 01:05:32.960
all the different stories i've heard and a lot

01:05:32.960 --> 01:05:35.380
of it is that you know the hospitality and obviously

01:05:35.380 --> 01:05:38.719
the i guess an extreme example is that lone survivor

01:05:38.719 --> 01:05:41.420
story you know when you hear about what the afghan

01:05:41.420 --> 01:05:43.940
you know men and women of that village did and

01:05:43.940 --> 01:05:46.380
then the the risk they took you know harboring

01:05:46.380 --> 01:05:49.039
him i mean that i don't think had enough air

01:05:49.039 --> 01:05:51.460
time when it came to the actual film but when

01:05:51.460 --> 01:05:53.360
you read the book i mean he talks about it in

01:05:53.360 --> 01:05:56.480
detail but this is that shared humanity you remove

01:05:56.480 --> 01:05:59.119
the flag you remove the uniform you know most

01:05:59.119 --> 01:06:00.760
of the people like you said there was some that

01:06:00.760 --> 01:06:04.019
have so far gone as far as a hatred but that

01:06:04.019 --> 01:06:06.599
shared humanity, wherever people have been, you

01:06:06.599 --> 01:06:08.460
know, serving around the world and whatever time

01:06:08.460 --> 01:06:11.280
period you hear that over and over and over again,

01:06:11.340 --> 01:06:12.900
because most of the people that are in combat

01:06:12.900 --> 01:06:14.900
are not the ones that started the war in the

01:06:14.900 --> 01:06:18.219
first place. I mean, I don't even think I know

01:06:18.219 --> 01:06:20.260
of a single instance where a soldier started

01:06:20.260 --> 01:06:25.039
a war. Exactly. Well, speaking of that, then

01:06:25.039 --> 01:06:27.619
you met, you kind of hit on it before. what made

01:06:27.619 --> 01:06:30.500
you pull the trigger on your transition and then

01:06:30.500 --> 01:06:32.719
how was that initially because that can obviously

01:06:32.719 --> 01:06:34.760
be very jarring you know you've got this identity

01:06:34.760 --> 01:06:36.380
you've got this purpose you've got this tribe

01:06:36.380 --> 01:06:39.059
and then one day you know you walk out the door

01:06:39.059 --> 01:06:42.940
for the last time yeah and it really is you walk

01:06:42.940 --> 01:06:44.500
out the door for the last time because you get

01:06:44.500 --> 01:06:46.960
out you get uh i figure they call it on red or

01:06:46.960 --> 01:06:51.460
red out of all the secret security programs and

01:06:51.460 --> 01:06:53.099
stuff and you can't step foot in there anymore

01:06:53.099 --> 01:06:58.690
your badge gets revoked um It was kind of twofold.

01:06:58.829 --> 01:07:01.389
So one was I'd gotten in trouble at sniper school.

01:07:01.849 --> 01:07:06.809
The most benign action turned into this just

01:07:06.809 --> 01:07:12.170
insanely extreme disciplinary action that was

01:07:12.170 --> 01:07:15.849
just unheard of, unheard of in the history of

01:07:15.849 --> 01:07:19.369
probably the Marine Corps. I got promoted to

01:07:19.369 --> 01:07:22.250
a certain rank. I didn't want the other students

01:07:22.250 --> 01:07:24.769
to sit through a promotion ceremony. So just

01:07:24.769 --> 01:07:27.869
like I had many times before, put the rank on

01:07:27.869 --> 01:07:31.909
after i had been officially ordained and then

01:07:31.909 --> 01:07:33.730
one of the instructors was like who promoted

01:07:33.730 --> 01:07:36.590
you you need a ceremony and i was like i lied

01:07:36.590 --> 01:07:38.929
which was so weird it was just such a weird thing

01:07:38.929 --> 01:07:40.449
for me to lie about i was like oh this guy down

01:07:40.449 --> 01:07:42.449
the street did and they investigated it which

01:07:42.449 --> 01:07:45.389
is even weirder It's just like this series of

01:07:45.389 --> 01:07:48.889
just really uncanny actions and events. They

01:07:48.889 --> 01:07:51.170
found out. They threw me out of the school. I

01:07:51.170 --> 01:07:53.610
lost my element. I was one of the more senior

01:07:53.610 --> 01:07:55.710
guys in the entire battalion at this point. I

01:07:55.710 --> 01:07:57.570
mean, I just had a really illustrious career

01:07:57.570 --> 01:07:59.050
when you look at it on paper. I mean, it was

01:07:59.050 --> 01:08:03.739
just what is going on. Get back to my command.

01:08:03.940 --> 01:08:06.159
They had all changed out because we rotate so

01:08:06.159 --> 01:08:08.039
often. There's only so many of us. And they just

01:08:08.039 --> 01:08:11.300
hammered me. They took my rank away. They even

01:08:11.300 --> 01:08:13.199
took a second rank away, but they put me on probation

01:08:13.199 --> 01:08:15.619
for that, which I got to keep. Kind of cool side

01:08:15.619 --> 01:08:17.640
note, I was the most senior sergeant in the entire

01:08:17.640 --> 01:08:21.359
Marine Corps by like a lot of years. I'll just

01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:24.060
say that. I was like number one sergeant for

01:08:24.060 --> 01:08:29.289
like two years. It was just really strange, but

01:08:29.289 --> 01:08:32.090
that ruined my career. It was just so weird.

01:08:32.310 --> 01:08:39.970
And then ended up being a very, even more strange

01:08:39.970 --> 01:08:42.010
thing is that the element that I was in charge

01:08:42.010 --> 01:08:44.569
of, they ended up getting on an aircraft that

01:08:44.569 --> 01:08:48.750
crashed and everybody died. And so the guy who

01:08:48.750 --> 01:08:50.609
replaced me was on the, you know, it was just

01:08:50.609 --> 01:08:54.689
a really strange time shortly thereafter. So

01:08:54.689 --> 01:08:57.270
now I'm dealing with like that. And I'm getting

01:08:57.270 --> 01:09:00.909
kicked out. But then the final, no matter what

01:09:00.909 --> 01:09:05.090
happened internally, morally, I was done when

01:09:05.090 --> 01:09:08.170
we got told, after we kicked ISIS out of Mosul,

01:09:08.210 --> 01:09:10.670
Tal Afar, Hawija, the last three cities, pushed

01:09:10.670 --> 01:09:13.250
them all the way back into Syria, the Iraqi government.

01:09:14.140 --> 01:09:16.460
turned their weapons on the Kurdish people because

01:09:16.460 --> 01:09:18.880
the Kurds had fought for the land the Iraqis

01:09:18.880 --> 01:09:21.880
abandoned. And now the Kurds basically owned

01:09:21.880 --> 01:09:25.220
this oil -rich lot of land called Kirkuk. And

01:09:25.220 --> 01:09:26.640
the Iraqis said, hey, you're going to give that

01:09:26.640 --> 01:09:28.859
back to us. And the Kurds were like, no, we're

01:09:28.859 --> 01:09:31.000
not because we fought and bled for this. So we're

01:09:31.000 --> 01:09:32.939
just going to keep it. But the United States

01:09:32.939 --> 01:09:35.300
government supported one Iraqi government, not

01:09:35.300 --> 01:09:37.869
a Kurdish government. We got told to abandon

01:09:37.869 --> 01:09:39.649
our friendly positions with the Kurds. We get

01:09:39.649 --> 01:09:41.350
back to the command center. I'm looking at the

01:09:41.350 --> 01:09:44.250
screen for the UAV feed. And there's an M1 Abrams

01:09:44.250 --> 01:09:47.670
tank, a U .S. M1 Abrams tank, supposedly from

01:09:47.670 --> 01:09:50.369
the Iraqi military, with a picture of the Iranian

01:09:50.369 --> 01:09:53.069
Oyatollah on the front of it. Because we knew

01:09:53.069 --> 01:09:55.750
the Iranian Quds Force were deeply integrated

01:09:55.750 --> 01:09:57.789
into the Shia portion of the Iraqi military,

01:09:57.989 --> 01:10:00.149
but yet we did nothing about it. Just one of

01:10:00.149 --> 01:10:03.939
the strange red tape restrictions. And then it

01:10:03.939 --> 01:10:05.720
lit up that Kurdish position with a tank round.

01:10:06.260 --> 01:10:09.220
I think it killed one, wounded another. And then

01:10:09.220 --> 01:10:12.039
one of the Kurdish guys had a German anti -tank

01:10:12.039 --> 01:10:15.020
rocket, fired it at the tank, hit it, set it

01:10:15.020 --> 01:10:16.800
up in flames, which was kind of cool to watch.

01:10:18.079 --> 01:10:20.579
It's not often you get to see effective weaponry

01:10:20.579 --> 01:10:23.960
against a US M1 Abrams tank, although I'm sure

01:10:23.960 --> 01:10:26.079
it was like the shitty Charlie model, whatever.

01:10:26.199 --> 01:10:30.279
But still, it's pretty cool to see it be effective.

01:10:31.800 --> 01:10:34.340
I was just like, what are we doing? What is this

01:10:34.340 --> 01:10:38.939
for? This is just stupid. And I was done. The

01:10:38.939 --> 01:10:40.819
number of people I had on the show that have

01:10:40.819 --> 01:10:43.859
obviously seen a lot of horrible stuff, whether

01:10:43.859 --> 01:10:46.859
it's in the military, first responders, and yet,

01:10:46.899 --> 01:10:50.399
aside from, as we've already touched on, childhood

01:10:50.399 --> 01:10:53.239
trauma and that element, one of the most crushing

01:10:53.239 --> 01:10:56.439
areas is actually organizational betrayal. Like

01:10:56.439 --> 01:10:58.720
having this tribe, you know, believing in this

01:10:58.720 --> 01:11:01.319
whole mission, you know, wearing a certain flag

01:11:01.319 --> 01:11:03.899
on your shoulder. And then one day they turn

01:11:03.899 --> 01:11:05.680
their back on you. And if you think about, you

01:11:05.680 --> 01:11:08.640
know, ancient tribes, if you were ostracized

01:11:08.640 --> 01:11:11.380
by that tribe, that meant death. You know, you're

01:11:11.380 --> 01:11:12.939
not hunting together. You're not gathering together.

01:11:13.659 --> 01:11:15.399
And you don't have that community anymore. And

01:11:15.399 --> 01:11:17.500
I hear this over and over and over again, whether

01:11:17.500 --> 01:11:19.760
it's a police officer that did everything right

01:11:19.760 --> 01:11:22.079
and his department threw him under the bus, or

01:11:22.079 --> 01:11:24.880
whether it's like you're saying, a nation's military

01:11:24.880 --> 01:11:27.000
that are fighting for a certain cause, and then

01:11:27.000 --> 01:11:28.699
they turn around and all of a sudden the rules

01:11:28.699 --> 01:11:35.380
have changed again. Yeah. It's important to realize,

01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:40.859
and this took me a while, and it's kind of hard.

01:11:41.039 --> 01:11:44.899
It's strange. When you do something like that

01:11:44.899 --> 01:11:48.500
type of a job, when you do something like a first

01:11:48.500 --> 01:11:51.199
responder, whether it's police, medic, nurse,

01:11:51.380 --> 01:11:53.659
doctor, whatever, but especially I can speak

01:11:53.659 --> 01:11:55.399
from my own experiences as being in the military,

01:11:55.479 --> 01:11:58.279
and we had lost so many guys. Death became a

01:11:58.279 --> 01:12:01.199
real thing for U .S. forces to me in my time

01:12:01.199 --> 01:12:03.239
in MARSOC. It never really was previous because

01:12:03.239 --> 01:12:05.960
I had never experienced that up close, but to

01:12:05.960 --> 01:12:10.539
see guys dying, to go into their funerals, it

01:12:10.539 --> 01:12:13.770
just became like a... It's almost like you lose

01:12:13.770 --> 01:12:15.689
a piece of your soul because you're writing the

01:12:15.689 --> 01:12:19.529
check and you're throwing it into the wind. And

01:12:19.529 --> 01:12:22.369
the question is, is somebody at an unknown time

01:12:22.369 --> 01:12:24.170
going to pick that thing up and at an unknown

01:12:24.170 --> 01:12:26.770
time and place go into the bank and at an unknown

01:12:26.770 --> 01:12:29.069
time and place to you cash that and then all

01:12:29.069 --> 01:12:32.949
of a sudden you get withdrawn. And to put that

01:12:32.949 --> 01:12:35.409
out there, it literally takes a piece of your

01:12:35.409 --> 01:12:39.470
soul with it. It has to. Because that's the only

01:12:39.470 --> 01:12:41.529
way that it puts you into the mindset and the

01:12:41.529 --> 01:12:45.130
frame of being the person capable of detaching

01:12:45.130 --> 01:12:47.189
and doing what is required to make it through

01:12:47.189 --> 01:12:50.050
whatever situations it is that you're being confronted

01:12:50.050 --> 01:12:55.210
with. And when you do that, it becomes your identity.

01:12:56.289 --> 01:12:59.149
I am a Marine. I am a MARSOC Marine. I am a Marine

01:12:59.149 --> 01:13:03.090
Raider. It is who I am. It's not what I do. I

01:13:03.090 --> 01:13:09.880
live it and I breathe it. you know, some degree

01:13:09.880 --> 01:13:12.260
there'll always be some truth to that, but I

01:13:12.260 --> 01:13:15.140
struggle with that a lot because I had no purpose

01:13:15.140 --> 01:13:19.039
anymore in life. And that's ultimately why I

01:13:19.039 --> 01:13:22.699
became very close. I'd say half a pound of trigger

01:13:22.699 --> 01:13:24.340
pressure away from blowing my brains out all

01:13:24.340 --> 01:13:27.920
over the place on many occasions. Um, I would

01:13:27.920 --> 01:13:30.140
fall asleep with the gun in my mouth. I don't

01:13:30.140 --> 01:13:34.960
know why it never went off. It didn't. But, uh,

01:13:35.199 --> 01:13:38.770
to realize that You can evolve into something

01:13:38.770 --> 01:13:42.090
more and still have a piece of that fabric inside

01:13:42.090 --> 01:13:45.229
of you. I think it's really important because

01:13:45.229 --> 01:13:47.289
it doesn't have to define you and who you are.

01:13:47.710 --> 01:13:50.909
You ultimately define who you are from the inside

01:13:50.909 --> 01:13:54.609
out. And if you define yourself as police, firefighter,

01:13:54.609 --> 01:13:57.250
medic, military, and then you lose that and you

01:13:57.250 --> 01:13:59.609
choose to not grow beyond it, then you're going

01:13:59.609 --> 01:14:01.050
to have a very difficult time and you'll probably

01:14:01.050 --> 01:14:02.409
end up killing yourself. That's why I think a

01:14:02.409 --> 01:14:06.789
lot of guys do it. What I realized, and it was

01:14:06.789 --> 01:14:10.989
funny because I just did this 9 -11 tribute competition,

01:14:11.189 --> 01:14:14.130
like a fitness competition fundraiser on Saturday,

01:14:14.250 --> 01:14:17.250
and I had to wear my helmet for one of the events.

01:14:17.569 --> 01:14:19.829
And I was telling my wife, it's so weird because

01:14:19.829 --> 01:14:22.649
I advocate for this profession, but it's been

01:14:22.649 --> 01:14:25.390
seven years since I wore the uniform now. And

01:14:25.390 --> 01:14:28.109
I almost forget that I did it once. And I think,

01:14:28.130 --> 01:14:30.010
again, that's because there's been a healthy

01:14:30.010 --> 01:14:32.569
transition, not immediately, but after a few

01:14:32.569 --> 01:14:35.680
years. But one of the big things for me was realizing,

01:14:35.960 --> 01:14:39.199
well, it was the mission that never changed.

01:14:39.500 --> 01:14:42.779
I wanted to make sure that I was there on people's

01:14:42.779 --> 01:14:44.659
worst day. I wanted to make the world a little

01:14:44.659 --> 01:14:47.600
bit better. And what I wore and what I carried

01:14:47.600 --> 01:14:49.619
was just, you know, an outfit and equipment.

01:14:49.880 --> 01:14:52.579
But that wasn't who I was. I was proud to wear

01:14:52.579 --> 01:14:54.699
a firefighter's uniform. But I think, you know,

01:14:54.720 --> 01:14:56.340
what you're doing now, what I'm doing now, very

01:14:56.340 --> 01:14:58.819
different. But you're still continuing the mission.

01:14:58.920 --> 01:15:01.119
You're still trying to be the force multiplier

01:15:01.119 --> 01:15:07.489
now. to maintain this lifelong goal of being

01:15:07.489 --> 01:15:11.170
the protector and trying to improve the things

01:15:11.170 --> 01:15:12.770
that are broken in the world. And I think when

01:15:12.770 --> 01:15:15.090
you can separate that from the actual uniform

01:15:15.090 --> 01:15:18.050
itself and be proud of your service, but realize

01:15:18.050 --> 01:15:20.829
that it hasn't ended when you hang it up, I found

01:15:20.829 --> 01:15:24.760
that very healing. That's really cool. I never

01:15:24.760 --> 01:15:27.079
really thought of it in those terms before, but

01:15:27.079 --> 01:15:30.140
it's very true because even when I was bouncing

01:15:30.140 --> 01:15:31.640
around for the first couple of years after I

01:15:31.640 --> 01:15:34.960
got out, overseas contracting, which was not,

01:15:35.039 --> 01:15:37.300
I wasn't like running a shooter job. It was more

01:15:37.300 --> 01:15:40.279
intel based, but even still like not my identity,

01:15:40.539 --> 01:15:44.720
right? A little bit, but not so much. Doing corporate

01:15:44.720 --> 01:15:48.380
work and trying to consult corporations for violence

01:15:48.380 --> 01:15:51.380
prevention programs, security programs. I would

01:15:51.380 --> 01:15:54.020
talk about my background, but I didn't feel like

01:15:54.020 --> 01:15:57.079
I was who I thought that I was anymore. And then

01:15:57.079 --> 01:15:58.960
when I really started focusing in on training

01:15:58.960 --> 01:16:01.439
people how to use firearms for the greater good

01:16:01.439 --> 01:16:03.500
and how to develop a positive mindset in a world

01:16:03.500 --> 01:16:07.560
that's full of negativity and scarcity, to be

01:16:07.560 --> 01:16:10.600
there for people and help them, empower them

01:16:10.600 --> 01:16:13.199
through those types of challenges in life and

01:16:13.199 --> 01:16:15.739
potentially the worst day of their life. Yeah,

01:16:15.859 --> 01:16:18.319
it's all about the mission. And I think that's

01:16:18.319 --> 01:16:22.729
pretty cool. realization and something that I

01:16:22.729 --> 01:16:24.609
could probably also take with me to preach more

01:16:24.609 --> 01:16:26.449
regularly to when I talk to guys and girls is

01:16:26.449 --> 01:16:28.750
like, look, you're going to get out and do real

01:16:28.750 --> 01:16:30.289
estate. If you really want to do that, cool.

01:16:30.689 --> 01:16:33.569
But are you nervous about that? Are you, are

01:16:33.569 --> 01:16:35.229
you going to fear the loss of the camaraderie

01:16:35.229 --> 01:16:36.890
X, Y, and Z? Cause it's probably the mission

01:16:36.890 --> 01:16:39.369
and maybe that'll kind of spread itself out.

01:16:39.409 --> 01:16:41.960
So thanks for that insight. Well, that's what

01:16:41.960 --> 01:16:43.680
I found, you know, a lot of people that had that

01:16:43.680 --> 01:16:45.960
healthy transition, you know, if they went to,

01:16:45.960 --> 01:16:48.279
let's say, a financial company that was just

01:16:48.279 --> 01:16:50.619
focused on money, a lot of times it wouldn't

01:16:50.619 --> 01:16:53.159
be fulfilling. But if they were able to find

01:16:53.159 --> 01:16:55.000
in the corporate space or wherever they went

01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:57.899
to next an area where they still. were improving

01:16:57.899 --> 01:16:59.819
the world, even if they say they became a personal,

01:16:59.939 --> 01:17:01.859
you know, personal trainer, all right, well,

01:17:01.939 --> 01:17:03.859
I'm making people healthier, I'm stopping them

01:17:03.859 --> 01:17:06.340
from ending up in an ambulance or an ER. You

01:17:06.340 --> 01:17:08.359
know, I think that's where you see that really

01:17:08.359 --> 01:17:10.520
kind of not flawless, but that that through line

01:17:10.520 --> 01:17:12.840
continue. But if you find yourself in a very

01:17:12.840 --> 01:17:15.859
self serving money focused, you know, business,

01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:18.479
maybe just maybe that's not the right fit for

01:17:18.479 --> 01:17:21.239
a first responder or a military member. Yeah,

01:17:21.300 --> 01:17:23.119
or, you know, the combination of both, right?

01:17:23.180 --> 01:17:26.539
Like, And this is actually bringing up a pretty

01:17:26.539 --> 01:17:28.619
interesting point, too, is that a lot of veterans

01:17:28.619 --> 01:17:31.840
that I talk to when they get out, I have this

01:17:31.840 --> 01:17:34.510
epitome. Where when I was starting to shift my

01:17:34.510 --> 01:17:36.729
mindset, my belief systems from this depressed

01:17:36.729 --> 01:17:39.569
guy who's going to off himself to neuroplasticity,

01:17:39.590 --> 01:17:42.409
using the brain, quantum physics, affirmations,

01:17:42.409 --> 01:17:44.210
daily lifestyle, habit development, all that

01:17:44.210 --> 01:17:45.810
stuff. All the stuff I've been trained on in

01:17:45.810 --> 01:17:47.770
my life and have done multiple times before just

01:17:47.770 --> 01:17:50.050
never really had a name to it. I started to consciously

01:17:50.050 --> 01:17:51.789
and intentionally put it to work and use in my

01:17:51.789 --> 01:17:54.850
life. And that's when things really dramatically

01:17:54.850 --> 01:17:57.750
started to flip in terms of the life script.

01:17:58.520 --> 01:18:00.279
And I'm driving around looking at all these multimillion

01:18:00.279 --> 01:18:01.979
dollar homes one day. And I was like, there's

01:18:01.979 --> 01:18:04.119
millionaires in every single one of these houses,

01:18:04.180 --> 01:18:07.979
thousands of them. How many Marine Raiders are

01:18:07.979 --> 01:18:12.359
there? Have there ever been? Why am I not a multimillionaire?

01:18:12.479 --> 01:18:15.279
I was like, what is going on? How am I failing

01:18:15.279 --> 01:18:18.819
at that game and struggling while everybody else

01:18:18.819 --> 01:18:22.060
in all these homes are clearly not? What do they

01:18:22.060 --> 01:18:24.439
possess that I don't? And it was just a different

01:18:24.439 --> 01:18:26.140
set of knowledge. It's just a different way,

01:18:26.220 --> 01:18:28.279
a belief system really more than anything is

01:18:28.279 --> 01:18:30.699
they believe they could. And I'd always been

01:18:30.699 --> 01:18:32.399
raised to believe that that's not a thing. You

01:18:32.399 --> 01:18:34.020
know, I've heard my dad laugh two times in my

01:18:34.020 --> 01:18:36.579
life. Once he was watching a TV show. The second

01:18:36.579 --> 01:18:38.260
time was just a couple of years ago when I was

01:18:38.260 --> 01:18:40.960
talking about my business to somebody off on

01:18:40.960 --> 01:18:42.859
the side, he overheard what I was saying in terms

01:18:42.859 --> 01:18:45.359
of like finances. And he laughed out loud across

01:18:45.359 --> 01:18:46.880
the dinner table, which I thought was pretty

01:18:46.880 --> 01:18:51.350
interesting. The majority of millionaires in

01:18:51.350 --> 01:18:53.409
this country, and maybe I'm wrong on the stat

01:18:53.409 --> 01:18:55.329
nowadays, somebody can always correct it, but

01:18:55.329 --> 01:18:59.109
there's a very heavy percentage of multimillionaires

01:18:59.109 --> 01:19:01.069
that are veterans and former first responder

01:19:01.069 --> 01:19:04.729
peoples. And I think that if you find your mission

01:19:04.729 --> 01:19:06.649
and you find your purpose and you find your niche

01:19:06.649 --> 01:19:09.210
and how to implement it, and then you just focus

01:19:09.210 --> 01:19:12.729
on serving that constituency as much and as hard

01:19:12.729 --> 01:19:17.109
as you possibly can, then there's really limitless

01:19:17.109 --> 01:19:19.539
possibilities. It's not a job that you're going

01:19:19.539 --> 01:19:21.840
in just for the empty purpose of, well, I want

01:19:21.840 --> 01:19:24.340
to make money. But you could definitely do both

01:19:24.340 --> 01:19:26.579
where you're driven, you're making the impact,

01:19:26.800 --> 01:19:28.560
you're formulating your plans, you're bringing

01:19:28.560 --> 01:19:30.579
people in for a mastermind alliance, you continue

01:19:30.579 --> 01:19:32.880
to grow, you continue to scale, and then anything

01:19:32.880 --> 01:19:35.319
is really possible. And that comes from the organizational

01:19:35.319 --> 01:19:38.119
development, the discipline, the habits, the

01:19:38.119 --> 01:19:40.279
lifestyle of people who are in those highly demanding

01:19:40.279 --> 01:19:44.060
jobs and positions. And it's like, fuck, man,

01:19:44.100 --> 01:19:46.140
if you would have just not killed yourself and

01:19:46.140 --> 01:19:48.000
given yourself a couple of more years, if you

01:19:48.000 --> 01:19:50.939
would have just had more faith in yourself and

01:19:50.939 --> 01:19:54.220
your own abilities, how different life could

01:19:54.220 --> 01:19:56.680
be for those who are listening right now or could

01:19:56.680 --> 01:19:58.380
have been for the people who would have killed

01:19:58.380 --> 01:20:01.140
themselves. I look back on my life and I'd be

01:20:01.140 --> 01:20:03.279
so pissed off if I would have killed myself over

01:20:03.279 --> 01:20:07.060
those reasons. What a stupid waste of life and

01:20:07.060 --> 01:20:09.060
the abundance of beauty that I have now within

01:20:09.060 --> 01:20:13.260
it all. It's just so inconceivable. that that

01:20:13.260 --> 01:20:15.600
was even me at some point in time and i just

01:20:15.600 --> 01:20:17.699
encourage people to keep moving because anything

01:20:17.699 --> 01:20:19.800
in this life is possible just lose the negative

01:20:19.800 --> 01:20:23.300
self default beliefs and you could really change

01:20:23.300 --> 01:20:27.439
your and shift your paradigm for sure after all

01:20:27.439 --> 01:20:30.039
these conversations i've had and so many have

01:20:30.039 --> 01:20:32.739
been there you know right at the point of suicide

01:20:32.739 --> 01:20:34.300
and some of them went through with it and they

01:20:34.300 --> 01:20:37.970
survived and that's why they're on the show There's

01:20:37.970 --> 01:20:40.909
a few elements that we hear a lot about. I wanted

01:20:40.909 --> 01:20:42.989
the pain to end. I was depressed, blah, blah,

01:20:42.989 --> 01:20:46.329
blah. But I think the old school way of talking

01:20:46.329 --> 01:20:48.729
about suicide is still viewed as selfish and

01:20:48.729 --> 01:20:50.710
cowardly and how could they and think of your

01:20:50.710 --> 01:20:53.489
family. But then you hear hundreds of people

01:20:53.489 --> 01:20:56.149
tell their stories. And there's another piece

01:20:56.149 --> 01:20:58.289
that you hardly ever hear. Now, it's mentioned

01:20:58.289 --> 01:21:01.590
in the psychologist, psychiatrist, they understand

01:21:01.590 --> 01:21:04.050
this piece, but on the regular conversations,

01:21:04.250 --> 01:21:07.710
it's not. When you have this perfect storm of

01:21:07.710 --> 01:21:10.210
all these contributing factors that get you to

01:21:10.210 --> 01:21:12.550
that point, unaddressed childhood trauma, sleep

01:21:12.550 --> 01:21:16.090
deprivation, you know, CTE, side effects of alcohol,

01:21:16.369 --> 01:21:18.090
psych meds, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

01:21:18.770 --> 01:21:22.510
And that person is now at that point, the brain

01:21:22.510 --> 01:21:25.630
is literally miswired. So we talk about neuroplasticity.

01:21:25.670 --> 01:21:28.630
The brain is really shifted to a form of psychosis,

01:21:28.649 --> 01:21:31.390
if you look at it, where the reality is distorted

01:21:31.390 --> 01:21:34.819
now. And over and over and over again, I keep

01:21:34.819 --> 01:21:38.819
hearing people say, I felt like I was a burden

01:21:38.819 --> 01:21:41.399
to the people that I loved. And if I just remove

01:21:41.399 --> 01:21:44.520
myself, they would be happier. And it makes no

01:21:44.520 --> 01:21:47.300
sense to the healthy brain. In that reality,

01:21:47.439 --> 01:21:49.720
it makes perfect sense to them at that moment,

01:21:49.760 --> 01:21:52.520
which when we talk about the people we lost to

01:21:52.520 --> 01:21:55.520
suicide, that would make that act at that moment

01:21:55.520 --> 01:21:59.880
courageous and selfless because there was a belief

01:21:59.880 --> 01:22:02.750
that they were the issue. When you think back

01:22:02.750 --> 01:22:05.369
now, when you were there with that pistol, was

01:22:05.369 --> 01:22:07.210
that little voice whispering in your ear the

01:22:07.210 --> 01:22:14.430
same way? It's interesting that you bring that

01:22:14.430 --> 01:22:18.489
up. I just wrote something about this less than

01:22:18.489 --> 01:22:24.350
a week ago. And it was a veteran who made a post

01:22:24.350 --> 01:22:27.430
about a commander of his who had killed himself.

01:22:30.110 --> 01:22:32.510
And how he just wishes that he would have reached

01:22:32.510 --> 01:22:37.170
out. And my response back, coming from a place

01:22:37.170 --> 01:22:38.369
of love, I wasn't trying to be like, because

01:22:38.369 --> 01:22:43.069
of this. But to be like, look, nobody who is

01:22:43.069 --> 01:22:46.310
on the verge of suicide is ever going to reach

01:22:46.310 --> 01:22:51.529
out. Because they already feel like they are

01:22:51.529 --> 01:22:55.600
a burden. That's why they never do. That's why

01:22:55.600 --> 01:22:58.180
you don't get somebody calling and saying, you

01:22:58.180 --> 01:22:59.840
know, man, I'm really just thinking about killing

01:22:59.840 --> 01:23:03.279
myself. No, it's so far beyond that in terms

01:23:03.279 --> 01:23:06.039
of emotional turmoil. And what I honestly think

01:23:06.039 --> 01:23:08.659
is demonic possession at this point. I look back

01:23:08.659 --> 01:23:10.239
and I could remember some things. I was just

01:23:10.239 --> 01:23:16.159
like, I feel like I was possessed. Why would

01:23:16.159 --> 01:23:21.989
I even bother? Everybody hates me. All I do is

01:23:21.989 --> 01:23:24.329
complicate people's lives. I'm not a good person.

01:23:24.430 --> 01:23:28.970
I don't do good things. And people don't understand

01:23:28.970 --> 01:23:31.430
that. Just like when you physically perform something

01:23:31.430 --> 01:23:33.770
10 ,000 times, let's say, it becomes a habit.

01:23:34.090 --> 01:23:36.550
It becomes ingrained in the subconscious portion

01:23:36.550 --> 01:23:39.310
of your brain because conscious thought requires

01:23:39.310 --> 01:23:42.010
a lot of calories. Your brain burns more calories

01:23:42.010 --> 01:23:44.630
than any other part of your entire body or organ

01:23:44.630 --> 01:23:46.550
per pound of body weight. It's a caloric burning

01:23:46.550 --> 01:23:50.539
house. And in order to conserve those calories,

01:23:50.720 --> 01:23:53.039
it solidifies that neural network, sheathes it

01:23:53.039 --> 01:23:55.380
in some good thick myelin, and then substitutes

01:23:55.380 --> 01:23:57.260
it down into the subconscious part of the brain.

01:23:57.340 --> 01:23:59.520
It says, you go there, no longer think about

01:23:59.520 --> 01:24:02.180
this, just do it. Your thoughts are the exact

01:24:02.180 --> 01:24:05.819
same thing. And it's twice as difficult to change

01:24:05.819 --> 01:24:08.979
your thought habits because we always have a

01:24:08.979 --> 01:24:12.220
negative default disposition based off survival

01:24:12.220 --> 01:24:14.300
mechanisms built in our brain. Our brain's number

01:24:14.300 --> 01:24:17.689
one priority. Don't die. Don't die. That's it.

01:24:17.770 --> 01:24:20.350
Whether that's regression from pain, conservation

01:24:20.350 --> 01:24:22.689
of calories, which is, again, another reason

01:24:22.689 --> 01:24:24.489
why it programs into the subconscious so effectively,

01:24:24.750 --> 01:24:29.310
don't die. And so are good memories associated

01:24:29.310 --> 01:24:31.789
with death? No. Bad experiences associated with

01:24:31.789 --> 01:24:33.390
death, bad memories associated with death. So

01:24:33.390 --> 01:24:35.909
we always go there first, twice as fast to the

01:24:35.909 --> 01:24:37.710
amygdala than the conscious part of the brain,

01:24:37.750 --> 01:24:40.310
the neocortex, the way information travels in

01:24:40.310 --> 01:24:42.369
through the senses. It goes to the amygdala two

01:24:42.369 --> 01:24:45.189
times faster than the logical part of your existence.

01:24:46.279 --> 01:24:48.640
So that's why we're emotional creatures. We always

01:24:48.640 --> 01:24:50.520
respond to things emotionally. Why am I going

01:24:50.520 --> 01:24:52.340
to make this whole thing worse for everybody

01:24:52.340 --> 01:24:55.020
else? My amygdala is already firing off. I'm

01:24:55.020 --> 01:24:56.960
already doing bad things. I'm already reinforcing

01:24:56.960 --> 01:24:59.880
this default negative disposition belief system

01:24:59.880 --> 01:25:02.699
in myself. I've solidified the habits by becoming

01:25:02.699 --> 01:25:04.779
highly emotional because when you're highly emotional,

01:25:04.859 --> 01:25:06.979
it solidifies that neural network at a much greater

01:25:06.979 --> 01:25:09.579
rate of speed. But this is all bad. This is all

01:25:09.579 --> 01:25:13.220
bad reinforcement. which causes you to build

01:25:13.220 --> 01:25:15.779
momentum and a spiral completely so far out of

01:25:15.779 --> 01:25:18.520
control that you don't even recognize who you

01:25:18.520 --> 01:25:21.020
are anymore. And that's when you lose your identity.

01:25:21.140 --> 01:25:22.979
That's when you lose your purpose in its entirety.

01:25:23.340 --> 01:25:25.739
And I honestly think that that is the moment

01:25:25.739 --> 01:25:27.939
when people do it, when people kill themselves,

01:25:28.239 --> 01:25:31.880
is through a loss of purpose and a loss of identity.

01:25:34.220 --> 01:25:36.180
We can talk about that with active shooters in

01:25:36.180 --> 01:25:38.159
schools some other time if you want, because

01:25:38.159 --> 01:25:40.039
that in itself is like a three hour conversation

01:25:40.039 --> 01:25:41.680
and what we're doing to little kids these days

01:25:41.680 --> 01:25:44.640
and making them lose their identity. But I'll

01:25:44.640 --> 01:25:48.380
digress to you're not going to burden the people

01:25:48.380 --> 01:25:51.739
whom you love and you already feel so guilty

01:25:51.739 --> 01:25:54.260
over hurting. And you probably have done some

01:25:54.260 --> 01:25:56.899
bad things. You probably have probably done some

01:25:56.899 --> 01:26:01.960
fucked up stuff. I was telling this woman and

01:26:01.960 --> 01:26:07.869
I'm not. It's almost like this dichotomy of people

01:26:07.869 --> 01:26:10.390
nowadays who do bad things just so they can then

01:26:10.390 --> 01:26:11.989
talk about it later to be like, oh, look, I'm

01:26:11.989 --> 01:26:14.789
reformed. This isn't the life that I've lived.

01:26:14.930 --> 01:26:21.329
It's not anything remotely proud of. It's like

01:26:21.329 --> 01:26:24.050
I cheated on a woman who I was dating who was

01:26:24.050 --> 01:26:28.130
a widow while she was laying wreaths on her dead

01:26:28.130 --> 01:26:32.140
husband's grave. for a ceremony i was out sleeping

01:26:32.140 --> 01:26:35.460
with some other chick like that's a really up

01:26:35.460 --> 01:26:39.760
thing to do to somebody that's a bad thing and

01:26:39.760 --> 01:26:42.380
so those are the types of experiences and everybody

01:26:42.380 --> 01:26:45.600
has their own version of that i i wish that was

01:26:45.600 --> 01:26:47.600
the only thing that i've done to people that

01:26:47.600 --> 01:26:51.899
i love but we let that then build up and compound

01:26:51.899 --> 01:26:54.079
and then going back to the drug addiction and

01:26:54.079 --> 01:26:58.600
the shame how i felt so shameful that people

01:26:58.600 --> 01:27:01.390
could see right through me That people could

01:27:01.390 --> 01:27:03.590
see right through my soul. And they knew I was

01:27:03.590 --> 01:27:06.069
lying about everything. And they knew I was not

01:27:06.069 --> 01:27:07.670
the person who I claimed to be. That there was

01:27:07.670 --> 01:27:10.470
just such a massive dissonance between who I

01:27:10.470 --> 01:27:13.310
am made to be in this world and who I actually

01:27:13.310 --> 01:27:18.489
am. That it was just like the most, like, what

01:27:18.489 --> 01:27:20.909
am I doing? Like, why am I wasting this space

01:27:20.909 --> 01:27:24.489
on this planet? There's a million people who

01:27:24.489 --> 01:27:27.029
could take my spot and be better than me. So

01:27:27.029 --> 01:27:29.479
why would I ever bother? laying that out on anybody

01:27:29.479 --> 01:27:31.800
else even further because they already know and

01:27:31.800 --> 01:27:33.420
they probably don't give a fuck which obviously

01:27:33.420 --> 01:27:35.939
isn't true to some degree for a lot of people

01:27:35.939 --> 01:27:39.520
but that's yeah that's what i gotta say about

01:27:39.520 --> 01:27:42.840
that but it's so important this is what we need

01:27:42.840 --> 01:27:45.359
to hear front and center is this this feeling

01:27:45.359 --> 01:27:48.239
of burden conversation because you again let's

01:27:48.239 --> 01:27:50.979
go back to you know you and me when we were young

01:27:50.979 --> 01:27:52.840
and then you got to go through our childhood

01:27:52.840 --> 01:27:55.380
and things happen and now we're drawn into uniform

01:27:57.100 --> 01:27:59.319
there is this trauma there are these mistakes

01:27:59.319 --> 01:28:01.319
there are these things that we're guilty about

01:28:01.319 --> 01:28:02.800
there are these things that we're ashamed of

01:28:02.800 --> 01:28:05.079
doing and then you know you start struggling

01:28:05.079 --> 01:28:07.380
and now we pour this guilt and shame on through

01:28:07.380 --> 01:28:09.340
our messaging like it's cowardly it's selfish

01:28:09.340 --> 01:28:12.600
etc etc and now you know that's compounding even

01:28:12.600 --> 01:28:14.359
more now think of your family i am thinking of

01:28:14.359 --> 01:28:15.960
my fucking family that's why i'm going to take

01:28:15.960 --> 01:28:17.840
myself out so they'll be happy again because

01:28:17.840 --> 01:28:20.399
you know in that mind that makes sense at that

01:28:20.399 --> 01:28:23.420
moment but i think you know taking them pulling

01:28:23.420 --> 01:28:25.800
them back by getting them to understand that

01:28:26.580 --> 01:28:28.619
That burdensome conversation. And ironically,

01:28:28.640 --> 01:28:31.159
I just had a friend call me yesterday and I had

01:28:31.159 --> 01:28:34.300
that conversation with him and it actually reframed,

01:28:34.300 --> 01:28:36.359
you know, he'd seen the fucking voices in his

01:28:36.359 --> 01:28:38.720
own head and it, you know, pulled him back. Thank

01:28:38.720 --> 01:28:41.720
God. But then you've got to get people to understand

01:28:41.720 --> 01:28:44.060
that, you know, there are reasons for their behavior

01:28:44.060 --> 01:28:46.720
too. Now there are victims and, you know, so

01:28:46.720 --> 01:28:50.159
there, there is a, there's a, you know, you have

01:28:50.159 --> 01:28:53.369
to own your mistakes, of course, but. you are

01:28:53.369 --> 01:28:56.529
also a product of your environment and people

01:28:56.529 --> 01:28:57.810
are going to look back and they're going to have

01:28:57.810 --> 01:29:00.649
done some things that they're not proud of. But

01:29:00.649 --> 01:29:02.670
those have happened and it is what it is. But

01:29:02.670 --> 01:29:06.729
understanding that, you know, you were brought

01:29:06.729 --> 01:29:08.970
up in a certain environment that created your

01:29:08.970 --> 01:29:11.210
behavior, whether you're in Afghanistan or whether

01:29:11.210 --> 01:29:14.590
you're in the UK or the US. And when we get people

01:29:14.590 --> 01:29:18.989
to understand that they can heal. You can turn

01:29:18.989 --> 01:29:21.670
this around and you identify the things that

01:29:21.670 --> 01:29:24.069
set you up for failure and then own your own

01:29:24.069 --> 01:29:26.289
mistakes. You can then move forward, like we

01:29:26.289 --> 01:29:28.350
said, and stop those damn dominoes from falling.

01:29:28.569 --> 01:29:31.310
But if our messaging is about adding guilt and

01:29:31.310 --> 01:29:33.390
shame to people that are fucking drowning in

01:29:33.390 --> 01:29:36.010
guilt and shame, and then we're surprised when

01:29:36.010 --> 01:29:38.250
we lose so many people, it's because we're sending

01:29:38.250 --> 01:29:49.079
the wrong message in the first place. Yeah. I

01:29:49.079 --> 01:29:52.340
had this realization after the, without a doubt,

01:29:52.359 --> 01:29:55.340
the closest night to blow my brains out. I had

01:29:55.340 --> 01:29:58.460
this realization that this was not going to work,

01:29:58.539 --> 01:30:02.859
this way of living. And how did I get here? How

01:30:02.859 --> 01:30:07.180
in the world did I get here? And just by chance,

01:30:07.180 --> 01:30:08.560
I was going through the traumatic brain injury

01:30:08.560 --> 01:30:11.020
clinic program as I was getting forced out of

01:30:11.020 --> 01:30:13.199
the Marine Corps, and I just decided to listen.

01:30:13.680 --> 01:30:16.899
And I'll never forget, Doc Johnson, the neuroscientist,

01:30:16.939 --> 01:30:19.659
comes in, explains the symptoms I'm having. And

01:30:19.659 --> 01:30:22.119
I was like, you read my medical record. Big fucking

01:30:22.119 --> 01:30:24.460
deal, man. What's your point? And I was just

01:30:24.460 --> 01:30:27.159
so jaded. I literally said that to a full bird

01:30:27.159 --> 01:30:30.220
captain in the Navy. And he looks at me and he

01:30:30.220 --> 01:30:31.840
goes, I didn't even open your medical record

01:30:31.840 --> 01:30:34.199
yet. It's right here. Throws it on the table.

01:30:34.300 --> 01:30:36.279
He goes, I haven't even looked at anything except

01:30:36.279 --> 01:30:41.680
your MRIs. My brain scans. He had my attention.

01:30:42.729 --> 01:30:44.770
And then he started explaining to me how he could

01:30:44.770 --> 01:30:48.270
identify those symptoms based off of the calcium

01:30:48.270 --> 01:30:50.590
deposits and the thickening of the axonial nerves

01:30:50.590 --> 01:30:52.270
and all this nerd stuff that I could talk about

01:30:52.270 --> 01:30:55.010
for days because it just has changed my life.

01:30:56.510 --> 01:31:00.909
And I said, I'm going to see if there's some

01:31:00.909 --> 01:31:04.069
truth behind this before I just kill myself.

01:31:04.350 --> 01:31:07.090
And then I did. and things started to change.

01:31:07.289 --> 01:31:09.050
And we go up and down, left and right, of course,

01:31:09.069 --> 01:31:10.770
but the universe is always going to challenge

01:31:10.770 --> 01:31:12.649
you as you're getting ready for a new set of

01:31:12.649 --> 01:31:15.729
problems. If you learn the lessons from the previous

01:31:15.729 --> 01:31:18.050
set, there will always be another set. Life isn't

01:31:18.050 --> 01:31:20.430
about bliss, in my opinion. It's about being

01:31:20.430 --> 01:31:22.909
able to develop the skills, tools, resources

01:31:22.909 --> 01:31:27.829
to overcome the next set of challenges. And for

01:31:27.829 --> 01:31:29.569
all the bad that we just talked about, I want

01:31:29.569 --> 01:31:32.399
to just reiterate that. your brain could be used

01:31:32.399 --> 01:31:34.380
for the exact same thing in the positive. And

01:31:34.380 --> 01:31:36.140
you could just be the most amazing person being

01:31:36.140 --> 01:31:37.779
that you could possibly imagine. And I honestly

01:31:37.779 --> 01:31:39.880
think that's who we're designed to be. The greatest

01:31:39.880 --> 01:31:41.920
version of what we could potentially be within

01:31:41.920 --> 01:31:44.079
our own minds. Because everything was started

01:31:44.079 --> 01:31:46.100
in the mind first. And if you picture yourself

01:31:46.100 --> 01:31:48.500
as the most loving, kind, compassionate, strong,

01:31:48.640 --> 01:31:51.199
fast, superhero human being possible, you could

01:31:51.199 --> 01:31:54.600
do it. You could absolutely 100 % do it by changing

01:31:54.600 --> 01:31:56.159
your thought patterns, your thought processes,

01:31:56.340 --> 01:31:58.319
these habits, the neuroplasticity, putting emotion

01:31:58.319 --> 01:32:00.680
behind it, doing it daily, remaining consistent,

01:32:00.779 --> 01:32:02.880
and being persistent and overcoming the challenges

01:32:02.880 --> 01:32:06.060
and accepting self -reflection. But I will say

01:32:06.060 --> 01:32:10.960
this, the number one thing for my epiphany, I

01:32:10.960 --> 01:32:17.060
said, when do I behave this way? I'm talking,

01:32:17.140 --> 01:32:20.239
I was smashing. I had three pieces of furniture

01:32:20.239 --> 01:32:23.399
in my apartment. I put holes in the walls, ripped

01:32:23.399 --> 01:32:25.720
doors off the frames, threw my guns up against

01:32:25.720 --> 01:32:27.520
them, smashing them against the brick wall, just

01:32:27.520 --> 01:32:30.020
trying to break my gut. I was just fucking erratic.

01:32:32.140 --> 01:32:37.520
When do I get this way? Oh, it's when I drink.

01:32:38.720 --> 01:32:42.840
Well, when do I drink and why do I drink? Well,

01:32:42.840 --> 01:32:45.600
it's at nighttime. I mean, there's nothing to

01:32:45.600 --> 01:32:49.420
do. And the demons really start to come out.

01:32:51.180 --> 01:32:54.739
How do I avoid that? Well, I've got some sleeping

01:32:54.739 --> 01:32:56.939
pills here, so maybe I'll develop a nighttime

01:32:56.939 --> 01:33:01.100
routine. And I'd come home, lights would be dimmed.

01:33:01.369 --> 01:33:02.649
They wouldn't go beyond a certain brightness.

01:33:02.869 --> 01:33:05.130
I would drink nothing but chamomile tea, pop

01:33:05.130 --> 01:33:07.270
a sleeping pill, do a little bit of schoolwork

01:33:07.270 --> 01:33:08.989
for a positive reinforcement, a little bit of

01:33:08.989 --> 01:33:10.430
momentum, a little bit of a gain, a little bit

01:33:10.430 --> 01:33:13.850
of a win. And then I'd wake up at 3 a .m., and

01:33:13.850 --> 01:33:16.470
the demons weren't there, and the world was still

01:33:16.470 --> 01:33:19.829
quiet. But I felt productive versus destructive.

01:33:21.229 --> 01:33:25.170
And by changing that part of my physical environment,

01:33:25.369 --> 01:33:30.229
it's so, so important to anybody who may be struggling.

01:33:30.750 --> 01:33:32.569
and want to make these crazy life changes is

01:33:32.569 --> 01:33:35.369
you have to identify and just mercilessly eradicate

01:33:35.369 --> 01:33:38.390
every negative thing that influences you throughout

01:33:38.390 --> 01:33:41.369
your day. The sweets, the cakes, the drugs, the

01:33:41.369 --> 01:33:43.310
alcohol, the prescription meds, you got to fucking

01:33:43.310 --> 01:33:47.289
flush it all. Otherwise, good luck, man. Good

01:33:47.289 --> 01:33:50.090
luck because that's the type of drastic action

01:33:50.090 --> 01:33:52.289
it takes to really change your life and to flip

01:33:52.289 --> 01:33:55.289
it around like that. Unfortunately. You know,

01:33:55.310 --> 01:33:57.729
emotion comes from Greek. It's emotis, energy

01:33:57.729 --> 01:33:59.729
in motion. Everything is energy in the universe.

01:34:00.090 --> 01:34:02.369
We get put into motion when we become emotional

01:34:02.369 --> 01:34:07.930
about something. Which that wasn't the case,

01:34:07.949 --> 01:34:09.609
but it just is. You know, you got to hit rock

01:34:09.609 --> 01:34:13.210
bottom, I guess. Well, it's interesting with

01:34:13.210 --> 01:34:16.590
the head trauma conversation, the fire service,

01:34:16.609 --> 01:34:19.270
specifically in EMS, we don't have that much

01:34:19.270 --> 01:34:21.470
exposure to it. The regular law enforcement don't.

01:34:21.470 --> 01:34:23.350
It's usually more the SWAT guys that are breaching

01:34:23.350 --> 01:34:26.729
and that kind of profession. But what we do have

01:34:26.729 --> 01:34:29.149
is sleep deprivation. And at the moment, there's

01:34:29.149 --> 01:34:32.310
a massive recruitment crisis. So our first responders

01:34:32.310 --> 01:34:35.109
are being worked into the ground. I mean, the

01:34:35.109 --> 01:34:39.350
average firefighter work week is 56 hours a week.

01:34:39.880 --> 01:34:42.220
Mandatory overtime is another 24. So with one

01:34:42.220 --> 01:34:44.720
overtime force, that's 80 hours. It's double

01:34:44.720 --> 01:34:47.479
what a civilian works. Awake four nights of that

01:34:47.479 --> 01:34:50.159
week. And when we wonder why we're having the

01:34:50.159 --> 01:34:53.420
same issue, then you go home, you drink to unwind.

01:34:53.420 --> 01:34:55.300
As you said, that disturbs your sleep. Now you've

01:34:55.300 --> 01:34:58.439
got another one. So identifying these, and I've

01:34:58.439 --> 01:35:01.159
been fighting tooth and nail to change the firefighter

01:35:01.159 --> 01:35:03.880
work week nationally to get it to where we can

01:35:03.880 --> 01:35:07.560
perform at a high level and not die. But touching

01:35:07.560 --> 01:35:11.000
on what you said as well. I think where the mental

01:35:11.000 --> 01:35:13.319
health conversation needs to be, I mean, the

01:35:13.319 --> 01:35:15.659
red flag with the burden, absolutely. But then

01:35:15.659 --> 01:35:18.119
the focus needs to be on post -traumatic growth.

01:35:18.520 --> 01:35:22.100
Like there is an incredible version of you waiting

01:35:22.100 --> 01:35:24.319
on the other side of whatever that unique toolbox

01:35:24.319 --> 01:35:26.220
is that you've got to assemble and that work

01:35:26.220 --> 01:35:28.340
that you've got to do. You're not going to be

01:35:28.340 --> 01:35:30.739
the 18 -year -old, you know, Joe or James. You're

01:35:30.739 --> 01:35:33.020
going to be this new version, but you are going

01:35:33.020 --> 01:35:35.020
to have more resilience. You genuinely are. More

01:35:35.020 --> 01:35:36.859
compassion, more empathy, because you've been.

01:35:37.479 --> 01:35:39.920
through that fucking, you know, meat grinder

01:35:39.920 --> 01:35:43.039
and come out the other end. So putting hope into

01:35:43.039 --> 01:35:45.619
the other side, you're not going to be walking

01:35:45.619 --> 01:35:47.739
around looking all mopey with your therapy dog,

01:35:47.840 --> 01:35:49.899
that means you haven't done enough work. You

01:35:49.899 --> 01:35:51.699
know, and again, not shaming anyone that's there.

01:35:51.800 --> 01:35:53.920
And, you know, there are those anomalies that

01:35:53.920 --> 01:35:56.220
just cannot get past that point. But I think

01:35:56.220 --> 01:35:58.140
even like the psychedelics and some of these

01:35:58.140 --> 01:36:00.000
other areas might be the missing piece of that

01:36:00.000 --> 01:36:03.659
as well. But you hear yourself and so many people

01:36:03.659 --> 01:36:06.300
to be on the show, they're a better version of

01:36:06.300 --> 01:36:09.880
themselves now. And they've identified some of

01:36:09.880 --> 01:36:11.699
the things that were breaking them down, and

01:36:11.699 --> 01:36:13.760
they fixed it. The same way as when I hurt my

01:36:13.760 --> 01:36:15.859
back as a firefighter and I used movement to

01:36:15.859 --> 01:36:19.859
heal it, near career -ending injury ended up

01:36:19.859 --> 01:36:21.579
becoming a strength. And like I said, I just

01:36:21.579 --> 01:36:23.539
did that fitness competition yesterday at 51

01:36:23.539 --> 01:36:26.579
and competed against all the young guys because

01:36:26.579 --> 01:36:29.420
I refused to do the Masters Division. So this

01:36:29.420 --> 01:36:31.380
is the point when you can see what the issues

01:36:31.380 --> 01:36:35.029
are. then you can fix it, which is exciting.

01:36:35.270 --> 01:36:37.270
So rather than the doom and gloom messaging,

01:36:37.550 --> 01:36:41.609
we've got to talk about you 2 .0 and how exciting

01:36:41.609 --> 01:36:44.409
that is and that will drive you to actually get

01:36:44.409 --> 01:36:50.539
there then. Yeah. I love talking about post -traumatic

01:36:50.539 --> 01:36:52.819
growth. I hate when people ask me if I have PTSD.

01:36:53.180 --> 01:36:55.079
I'm like, I don't identify. I don't even like

01:36:55.079 --> 01:36:57.199
when people say, somebody said, oh man, you're

01:36:57.199 --> 01:37:00.779
in recovery? No, I'm not in recovery. That part

01:37:00.779 --> 01:37:02.779
of me doesn't even exist anymore. In fact, I

01:37:02.779 --> 01:37:06.720
have to look up pictures and evidence of my past

01:37:06.720 --> 01:37:08.819
actually even existing because it feels like

01:37:08.819 --> 01:37:11.800
I'm lying when I talk about it because it's just

01:37:11.800 --> 01:37:15.460
so insanely opposite of who I currently am. But

01:37:15.460 --> 01:37:19.550
to what you said about identifying the problems.

01:37:19.630 --> 01:37:21.710
It's so hard to do because when we think about

01:37:21.710 --> 01:37:24.010
experiences in life that generate an emotional

01:37:24.010 --> 01:37:27.890
influx within us, our body brain doesn't know

01:37:27.890 --> 01:37:29.890
the difference between like imagining or actually

01:37:29.890 --> 01:37:31.670
living in it. And so it's going to produce the

01:37:31.670 --> 01:37:33.550
same hormones, the same neurochemicals associated

01:37:33.550 --> 01:37:35.689
with that experience. So if it was a bad experience

01:37:35.689 --> 01:37:37.409
and you start to think about it, you're like,

01:37:37.470 --> 01:37:39.850
man, how can I get over this? Well, that then

01:37:39.850 --> 01:37:42.189
generates the emotions associated with that event.

01:37:42.670 --> 01:37:44.970
and now you're living in the past that feed that

01:37:44.970 --> 01:37:47.289
feedback loop cycle is not going to do anything

01:37:47.289 --> 01:37:50.029
positive for you whatsoever you need to be capable

01:37:50.029 --> 01:37:53.409
of disassociating your emotions from the experience

01:37:53.409 --> 01:37:57.810
in order to truly objectively review it and this

01:37:57.810 --> 01:38:01.590
actually happened to me by accident i had taken

01:38:01.590 --> 01:38:04.989
a bunch of acid like lsd and a bunch of molly

01:38:04.989 --> 01:38:08.590
and it was like really really pure stuff this

01:38:08.590 --> 01:38:10.029
was in my time after i had gotten out of the

01:38:10.029 --> 01:38:15.159
marine corps and And my best friend had just

01:38:15.159 --> 01:38:19.279
died, and it was just an absolute shit show of

01:38:19.279 --> 01:38:25.840
a time. And my buddy and I had taken all these

01:38:25.840 --> 01:38:28.000
drugs. It was the 4th of July, and we're sitting

01:38:28.000 --> 01:38:30.000
underneath the bridge. So it was James and Joe

01:38:30.000 --> 01:38:34.979
out of the J crew. And the amount of pain that

01:38:34.979 --> 01:38:38.659
I was living in, just true emotional turmoil,

01:38:38.840 --> 01:38:40.939
survivor's guilt from the plane crash, survivor's

01:38:40.939 --> 01:38:42.880
guilt from my best friend who saved me and I

01:38:42.880 --> 01:38:46.659
couldn't save him, all sorts of other loss of

01:38:46.659 --> 01:38:51.020
identity. I was getting scared that as I started

01:38:51.020 --> 01:38:53.079
to think about those things underneath this childhood

01:38:53.079 --> 01:38:55.439
hangout spot where we still got writings on the

01:38:55.439 --> 01:38:57.880
I -beams that run underneath the bridge, you

01:38:57.880 --> 01:39:00.479
know, like 20 -some years later, writings from

01:39:00.479 --> 01:39:03.810
when we were kids. I started to feel myself drifting

01:39:03.810 --> 01:39:07.630
into a potential bad trip experience. But the

01:39:07.630 --> 01:39:10.810
combination of the drugs that I had taken were

01:39:10.810 --> 01:39:14.829
influencing enough dopamine and serotonin flooding

01:39:14.829 --> 01:39:17.729
to where I could actually not feel emotionally

01:39:17.729 --> 01:39:20.670
influenced by thinking about these things. It

01:39:20.670 --> 01:39:22.069
was almost as if I took them out of my brain,

01:39:22.189 --> 01:39:24.489
put them down on a book and was reading a story

01:39:24.489 --> 01:39:27.289
about somebody where I was like, yeah, that seems

01:39:27.289 --> 01:39:29.430
pretty sad. That's a difficult thing to go through.

01:39:29.529 --> 01:39:33.020
But I wasn't like... My heart's just being crushed

01:39:33.020 --> 01:39:36.300
and my bones are being gnashed and I'm just sick

01:39:36.300 --> 01:39:37.859
to the stomach with the amount of pain I was

01:39:37.859 --> 01:39:42.979
living with. And I was so shocked at how controlled

01:39:42.979 --> 01:39:46.399
I was that I started to actually dive further

01:39:46.399 --> 01:39:49.680
into the things that I was going through and

01:39:49.680 --> 01:39:52.600
experiencing in life at that point in time. And

01:39:52.600 --> 01:39:55.020
when the night was over and I woke up the next

01:39:55.020 --> 01:39:57.380
day, I was looking back and I was just really

01:39:57.380 --> 01:39:59.899
stunned by that. And I realized this is why things

01:39:59.899 --> 01:40:03.649
like I've never done ketamine therapy, but. supposedly

01:40:03.649 --> 01:40:05.989
that helps out people a lot things like ayahuasca

01:40:05.989 --> 01:40:10.489
which i have done um you know 5meo dmt which

01:40:10.489 --> 01:40:12.630
i will be doing pretty soon here just to have

01:40:12.630 --> 01:40:15.869
that experience as well your ability to objectively

01:40:15.869 --> 01:40:19.449
review the sequence of events immediately creates

01:40:19.449 --> 01:40:22.369
new neural connections in the brain that circumnavigate

01:40:22.369 --> 01:40:26.789
the resonance of trauma with that memory therefore

01:40:26.789 --> 01:40:30.539
allowing you to permanently view bad experience

01:40:30.539 --> 01:40:34.720
objectively without inciting that emotional evocation

01:40:34.720 --> 01:40:37.140
within you that causes you so much pain. And

01:40:37.140 --> 01:40:40.079
that's important because that's literal neuroplasticity

01:40:40.079 --> 01:40:44.579
in action. And then the influx of neurochemical

01:40:44.579 --> 01:40:47.760
hormones that are being stimulated in your body

01:40:47.760 --> 01:40:51.119
through the use of these hallucinogens or drugs

01:40:51.119 --> 01:40:54.460
is enough to solidify that neural connection

01:40:54.460 --> 01:40:57.220
circumnavigating the association and the tether

01:40:57.220 --> 01:41:02.510
to the trauma. And that's such a medical phenomenon.

01:41:03.250 --> 01:41:06.750
I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't know

01:41:06.750 --> 01:41:09.390
what I know about neuroscience now, that I was

01:41:09.390 --> 01:41:12.029
taught, living it, going through it. And that

01:41:12.029 --> 01:41:14.649
experience that I had that night underneath the

01:41:14.649 --> 01:41:17.229
bridge on the 4th of July with my buddy James,

01:41:17.409 --> 01:41:20.149
just opening up and diving into all the things

01:41:20.149 --> 01:41:22.329
that I would never be able to talk about like

01:41:22.329 --> 01:41:25.130
that. And I think it's important to recognize

01:41:25.130 --> 01:41:28.909
because I know people who've been women who've

01:41:28.909 --> 01:41:31.390
been raped, sexually assaulted. And I work with

01:41:31.390 --> 01:41:33.510
a lot of these people right now in firearms training,

01:41:33.630 --> 01:41:35.590
helping them regain that sense of self. So that

01:41:35.590 --> 01:41:37.689
way they feel confidence and they don't fall

01:41:37.689 --> 01:41:39.510
back into the regression of the emotional pain

01:41:39.510 --> 01:41:41.869
associated with the trauma. You know, we're not,

01:41:41.890 --> 01:41:43.510
I'm not handing out drugs to people. We're doing

01:41:43.510 --> 01:41:45.670
training and self -empowerment through, you know,

01:41:45.670 --> 01:41:48.710
daily actions and stuff, but it's all the same

01:41:48.710 --> 01:41:52.170
concept is how can you. objectively analyze what

01:41:52.170 --> 01:41:55.310
happened what you're going through without eliciting

01:41:55.310 --> 01:41:58.090
the emotional response and then empowering yourself

01:41:58.090 --> 01:42:01.250
or using that information in which you extrapolate

01:42:01.250 --> 01:42:04.710
to live a more positive and impactful life in

01:42:04.710 --> 01:42:09.289
society i mentioned earlier about getting the

01:42:09.289 --> 01:42:11.329
the application thrown in my face because of

01:42:11.329 --> 01:42:13.970
the drugs it was the mushrooms were illegal in

01:42:13.970 --> 01:42:16.710
japan so psilocybin and then ecstasy was the

01:42:16.710 --> 01:42:18.329
one it wasn't legal we were doing it and having

01:42:18.329 --> 01:42:22.180
a blast But since then, now, the full career

01:42:22.180 --> 01:42:25.020
in the fire service and in this podcast, those

01:42:25.020 --> 01:42:27.899
are having incredible effects. I just had Dr.

01:42:28.060 --> 01:42:30.119
Ben Sessa from University of Bristol back on

01:42:30.119 --> 01:42:32.819
the show, and he's one of the real gurus when

01:42:32.819 --> 01:42:36.539
it comes to MDMA -led psychotherapy. And it makes

01:42:36.539 --> 01:42:40.380
perfect sense. when you're on those drugs, it

01:42:40.380 --> 01:42:42.239
used to be kind of marriage counseling drug,

01:42:42.319 --> 01:42:45.119
and it was first developed, it removes that emotional

01:42:45.119 --> 01:42:47.520
response. And so you're just able to be, you

01:42:47.520 --> 01:42:49.479
know, vulnerable, truly vulnerable, and really

01:42:49.479 --> 01:42:52.140
explore these areas without having, as you said,

01:42:52.220 --> 01:42:54.239
this kind of fear response, shame response, whatever

01:42:54.239 --> 01:42:57.319
it is, and the success they've had. And it's

01:42:57.319 --> 01:42:59.279
not that you get prescribed it, you do it in

01:42:59.279 --> 01:43:02.359
house, and you go home, I think it's like Two

01:43:02.359 --> 01:43:04.079
weeks later, and then four weeks later again,

01:43:04.180 --> 01:43:06.279
I think it's like a six week cycle. And then

01:43:06.279 --> 01:43:08.520
it just keeps, you know, getting better and better

01:43:08.520 --> 01:43:11.199
and better and better. So this is why I think

01:43:11.199 --> 01:43:13.000
it's so important that people understand that

01:43:13.000 --> 01:43:16.079
toolbox doesn't consist of talk therapy and psych

01:43:16.079 --> 01:43:19.649
meds. And there are so many other areas and everyone's

01:43:19.649 --> 01:43:21.170
going to be different. Someone might not want

01:43:21.170 --> 01:43:23.329
to do Ibogaine. It might be too much. You don't

01:43:23.329 --> 01:43:25.510
want to purge or whatever the, you know, the

01:43:25.510 --> 01:43:27.949
issue is someone else that might be a last ditch

01:43:27.949 --> 01:43:29.930
attempt. I've heard so many of those, you know,

01:43:29.930 --> 01:43:33.189
addiction, especially. But understanding that

01:43:33.189 --> 01:43:35.970
there are so many areas that you, you know, so

01:43:35.970 --> 01:43:38.810
many tools that you can use to find your own

01:43:38.810 --> 01:43:41.510
unique toolbox for you. And then that's going

01:43:41.510 --> 01:43:44.489
to evolve to this work, you know, this this year

01:43:44.489 --> 01:43:46.130
and now year two, I'm going to switch to some

01:43:46.130 --> 01:43:48.750
of these other things that I think provides a

01:43:48.750 --> 01:43:52.470
huge amount of hope then. I think as long as

01:43:52.470 --> 01:43:55.130
you just don't give up and you keep exploring

01:43:55.130 --> 01:43:57.229
new options, find things that work that don't

01:43:57.229 --> 01:43:59.170
work. Who cares? Like, what are you going to

01:43:59.170 --> 01:44:03.189
do? Just. die anyways yeah so you might as well

01:44:03.189 --> 01:44:05.550
give it the best shot that you have in order

01:44:05.550 --> 01:44:08.390
to help the people who rely on you you know i

01:44:08.390 --> 01:44:11.149
speak as a father as a husband i'm not doing

01:44:11.149 --> 01:44:13.810
anybody in this whole universe any good by feeling

01:44:13.810 --> 01:44:15.670
guilty over the fact that i survived certain

01:44:15.670 --> 01:44:18.109
things and other people died i'm not doing anybody

01:44:18.109 --> 01:44:21.850
any good by drinking myself into a stupor taking

01:44:21.850 --> 01:44:23.770
drugs to the point where i'm just erratic and

01:44:23.770 --> 01:44:26.210
blowing my brains out none of that makes any

01:44:26.210 --> 01:44:29.680
sense and If you really want to truly be selfless,

01:44:29.880 --> 01:44:33.539
based off what our society has as a standard

01:44:33.539 --> 01:44:35.659
of selfish, that's what you need to be because

01:44:35.659 --> 01:44:37.239
you cannot give that which you do not possess.

01:44:37.560 --> 01:44:39.840
And as long as you constantly strive to be 1

01:44:39.840 --> 01:44:42.180
% better every single day, as long as you're

01:44:42.180 --> 01:44:45.479
constantly pushing yourself to be the greatest

01:44:45.479 --> 01:44:48.020
version of you, and you have to have clarity

01:44:48.020 --> 01:44:51.079
on that. You can't just be X, Y, and Z and ambiguous.

01:44:51.399 --> 01:44:54.439
You have to really think about it. Sit in the

01:44:54.439 --> 01:44:57.699
silence, which is very difficult. But once you

01:44:57.699 --> 01:45:00.800
do it, get up at 3 a .m. and you don't have an

01:45:00.800 --> 01:45:02.220
urge to drink and there's nothing else to do,

01:45:02.260 --> 01:45:03.659
so what do you do? You're just thinking right.

01:45:04.579 --> 01:45:06.640
When you start to re -explore and open up those

01:45:06.640 --> 01:45:09.760
areas of you in your life, your impact, it can

01:45:09.760 --> 01:45:13.319
be truly endless, truly endless, and your family

01:45:13.319 --> 01:45:16.039
needs you to do it. You need you to do it. Look

01:45:16.039 --> 01:45:17.960
after yourself so you can possess the things

01:45:17.960 --> 01:45:21.100
that will help them in their lives and be somebody

01:45:21.100 --> 01:45:22.979
who they can talk about when you're in your grave

01:45:22.979 --> 01:45:26.319
because it's going to happen. But be somebody

01:45:26.319 --> 01:45:29.500
that they will look back on and say, man, he

01:45:29.500 --> 01:45:32.560
was a fucking strong dude. She was a strong chick.

01:45:33.159 --> 01:45:35.479
They did everything that they could amidst all

01:45:35.479 --> 01:45:37.699
the challenges of life, which I'm now experiencing

01:45:37.699 --> 01:45:41.000
as their child or whatever. That's something

01:45:41.000 --> 01:45:44.020
to look up to. As long as you never stop, you

01:45:44.020 --> 01:45:48.350
can't fail. 100%. Well, I want to get to, you

01:45:48.350 --> 01:45:49.670
know, what you're doing now, but just before

01:45:49.670 --> 01:45:52.810
we do, how did you come across All American Leadership

01:45:52.810 --> 01:45:54.970
and talk to me about your role with that company?

01:45:57.270 --> 01:46:02.949
Yeah, so it was just a freak series of situations.

01:46:03.210 --> 01:46:06.529
Met a guy in Austin, Texas, who I met at a random

01:46:06.529 --> 01:46:09.149
winery that nobody was at and a random trip my

01:46:09.149 --> 01:46:11.310
wife and I took. We were just at a very low point

01:46:11.310 --> 01:46:14.600
in our lives. Guy comes up to us, talks to us.

01:46:14.720 --> 01:46:16.899
I thought he was a scam artist. He wasn't. We

01:46:16.899 --> 01:46:19.380
end up developing a relationship. He introduces

01:46:19.380 --> 01:46:21.920
me to some woman. Some woman introduces me to

01:46:21.920 --> 01:46:24.000
some guy. Some guy introduces me to Rob, who's

01:46:24.000 --> 01:46:25.859
the CEO and the founder of All -American Leadership.

01:46:26.420 --> 01:46:29.380
And when you look at us on paper, Rob, Army officer,

01:46:29.560 --> 01:46:33.159
West Point grad, just very successful guy on

01:46:33.159 --> 01:46:37.420
paper. You look at me, enlisted, Marine, just

01:46:37.420 --> 01:46:43.220
troubled childhood criminal. you know, tendencies,

01:46:43.460 --> 01:46:45.479
just complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

01:46:45.560 --> 01:46:47.640
And so to be honest, when I was taking the meeting

01:46:47.640 --> 01:46:50.380
with him, I was kind of just like, I'll talk

01:46:50.380 --> 01:46:52.520
to somebody, but I didn't really look much forward

01:46:52.520 --> 01:46:54.340
to it. I didn't see anything coming out of it.

01:46:55.020 --> 01:46:57.840
And man, Rob and I just did a 13 hour drive last

01:46:57.840 --> 01:46:59.960
week with each other in the car and it, and we

01:46:59.960 --> 01:47:02.199
didn't stop talking for a single second and it

01:47:02.199 --> 01:47:04.859
wasn't forced and it wasn't exhaustive. It was

01:47:04.859 --> 01:47:06.760
just learning so much about that guy and how

01:47:06.760 --> 01:47:10.140
we actually have so much in common, which just

01:47:10.140 --> 01:47:13.119
reinforces this idea that when people talk, we

01:47:13.119 --> 01:47:15.739
realize things about each other at a, at such

01:47:15.739 --> 01:47:19.420
a rapid rate of speed that I'm convinced if everybody

01:47:19.420 --> 01:47:21.699
just talked to each other and didn't live in

01:47:21.699 --> 01:47:24.850
isolated worlds, there would. probably be very

01:47:24.850 --> 01:47:27.470
limited violence, if any, because it develops

01:47:27.470 --> 01:47:31.390
that humanizing factor and rapport. But that's

01:47:31.390 --> 01:47:32.750
how I got introduced to all American leadership.

01:47:33.430 --> 01:47:36.659
Rob and I talked for about a year. Just on and

01:47:36.659 --> 01:47:38.560
off, touching in business stuff here and there,

01:47:38.640 --> 01:47:40.600
seeing if there's ways we can collaborate. Because

01:47:40.600 --> 01:47:43.659
he has a very astute staff of West Point grads,

01:47:43.699 --> 01:47:46.159
Annapolis grads, multi -star generals, major

01:47:46.159 --> 01:47:50.260
commanders, astronaut people, and people who

01:47:50.260 --> 01:47:53.520
train astronauts. And then I never really saw

01:47:53.520 --> 01:47:55.600
myself as being a part of that staff because

01:47:55.600 --> 01:47:58.819
I don't fit the demographic. In fact, Rob told

01:47:58.819 --> 01:48:01.310
me, he goes, I'm the only enlisted. service member

01:48:01.310 --> 01:48:04.949
to ever serve in AAL and I thought that was kind

01:48:04.949 --> 01:48:09.529
of kind of cool but we eventually one day said

01:48:09.529 --> 01:48:12.090
you know what what are we talking for like let's

01:48:12.090 --> 01:48:14.430
just do something and see if we're going to jive

01:48:14.430 --> 01:48:16.470
together and work well because I believed in

01:48:16.470 --> 01:48:20.350
what he was doing and that's when we did and

01:48:20.350 --> 01:48:22.550
I came on board and I run their leadership in

01:48:22.550 --> 01:48:25.489
a word every month we have a one -hour zoom call

01:48:25.489 --> 01:48:27.890
it gets pretty deep pretty fast because I'm very

01:48:27.890 --> 01:48:30.920
intentional about that And, uh, I've done multiple

01:48:30.920 --> 01:48:32.960
universities and academies for him now. And,

01:48:33.039 --> 01:48:36.560
uh, just such an amazing group of people. I love

01:48:36.560 --> 01:48:40.439
listening to everybody talk because I can, I

01:48:40.439 --> 01:48:42.939
get to learn so much and it's a really cool experience.

01:48:43.020 --> 01:48:45.079
So that's, that's how I got introduced to AL.

01:48:45.399 --> 01:48:48.020
I do that, uh, multiple times throughout the

01:48:48.020 --> 01:48:50.880
year, monthly basis for the, for the online portion.

01:48:50.960 --> 01:48:53.640
And then, uh, Rick too. I mean, everybody I've

01:48:53.640 --> 01:48:59.250
talked to at AL is just, man, really just we

01:48:59.250 --> 01:49:01.930
develop a connection very fast because it's very

01:49:01.930 --> 01:49:06.630
accomplished people through life. Whatever that

01:49:06.630 --> 01:49:08.810
means to you, what it means to me is that they're

01:49:08.810 --> 01:49:10.710
very accomplished, very intelligent, different

01:49:10.710 --> 01:49:13.229
varying perspectives, and they keep me sharpened

01:49:13.229 --> 01:49:17.630
on this. That's that part and then I run a company

01:49:17.630 --> 01:49:20.050
called JM Training out here in Chicago where

01:49:20.050 --> 01:49:21.750
we teach people how to use firearms for the greater

01:49:21.750 --> 01:49:24.449
good. We want to train 4 % of the population

01:49:24.449 --> 01:49:26.609
so we can have a positive impact or at least

01:49:26.609 --> 01:49:28.350
see if we have a positive impact on violence

01:49:28.350 --> 01:49:31.069
and violent crime. And we do that through firearms

01:49:31.069 --> 01:49:33.210
training. We run a private outdoor facility right

01:49:33.210 --> 01:49:35.779
outside of the city. where we do defensive shooting

01:49:35.779 --> 01:49:38.420
and tactics you can't do it anywhere else in

01:49:38.420 --> 01:49:40.619
the entire area like a two and a half to maybe

01:49:40.619 --> 01:49:42.859
even six hour drive i don't know of another gun

01:49:42.859 --> 01:49:44.520
range that lets people draw from the holster

01:49:44.520 --> 01:49:47.739
do multiple shots on target shoot move communicate

01:49:47.739 --> 01:49:52.079
on the range and uh we've got over 400 members

01:49:52.079 --> 01:49:54.659
now in the last 14 months that are a part of

01:49:54.659 --> 01:49:56.699
this thing so there's a huge need for it you

01:49:56.699 --> 01:49:58.600
know we'll we'll train you we'll equip you we'll

01:49:58.600 --> 01:50:01.060
educate you but most of all we'll plug you into

01:50:01.060 --> 01:50:03.399
the community and the community has just been

01:50:04.110 --> 01:50:06.189
Amazing. Again, super diverse group of people.

01:50:06.250 --> 01:50:09.890
Every race, like 15 plus religions or something

01:50:09.890 --> 01:50:13.449
like that. Aging from 20s to the 80s. Different

01:50:13.449 --> 01:50:15.369
continents, people who immigrated here. I mean,

01:50:15.430 --> 01:50:17.869
Republicans, Democrats, everybody's in the group.

01:50:18.149 --> 01:50:21.930
Everybody's in the group. And we all get along

01:50:21.930 --> 01:50:24.590
exceedingly well. And we talk about whatever.

01:50:24.789 --> 01:50:26.829
There's no limitation or restrictions on what

01:50:26.829 --> 01:50:28.689
you can or cannot talk about. In fact, I encourage

01:50:28.689 --> 01:50:33.289
people to have conversations that create. Points

01:50:33.289 --> 01:50:36.310
of contention, points of conflict. The only caveat,

01:50:36.630 --> 01:50:39.270
the only standard is that it has to have a means

01:50:39.270 --> 01:50:42.229
to an end. What's your point and purpose in having

01:50:42.229 --> 01:50:45.310
this conversation? Is there a point you're trying

01:50:45.310 --> 01:50:46.930
to make? And as long as there's a point you're

01:50:46.930 --> 01:50:48.449
trying to make, even if you guys don't agree

01:50:48.449 --> 01:50:52.550
with it at the end, cool. At least now we understand

01:50:52.550 --> 01:50:54.989
where that perspective is coming from. Because

01:50:54.989 --> 01:50:56.670
that person is no more than a collection of their

01:50:56.670 --> 01:51:00.369
past experiences than you are. and so uh it's

01:51:00.369 --> 01:51:02.029
it's really cool man it's been really awesome

01:51:02.029 --> 01:51:05.029
and um yeah i don't know how we'll get the data

01:51:05.029 --> 01:51:07.489
on crime stats maybe in the next four years you

01:51:07.489 --> 01:51:09.489
know if we hit four percent we'll see a decrease

01:51:09.489 --> 01:51:12.949
in trend but at a minimum uh we're just trying

01:51:12.949 --> 01:51:14.909
to help people as best we can prevent them from

01:51:14.909 --> 01:51:16.729
being murdered or raped or something like that

01:51:16.729 --> 01:51:20.090
we just had that horrendous stabbing which i've

01:51:20.090 --> 01:51:23.029
been i've seen people post that it was only reported

01:51:23.029 --> 01:51:25.409
on one side or not the other but uh you know

01:51:25.409 --> 01:51:28.140
that poor ukrainian um woman that was stabbed

01:51:28.140 --> 01:51:30.880
on the train in charlotte north carolina i mean

01:51:30.880 --> 01:51:32.640
i don't think there was any weapons training

01:51:32.640 --> 01:51:34.260
that could have avoided that i mean the poor

01:51:34.260 --> 01:51:37.220
woman was just sitting in a in a seat but it

01:51:37.220 --> 01:51:39.479
illustrates the dangers there are out there you

01:51:39.479 --> 01:51:41.220
know and again that circles around to the mental

01:51:41.220 --> 01:51:42.920
health crisis that we've been talking about for

01:51:42.920 --> 01:51:47.520
two hours yeah it's man and there's so much more

01:51:47.520 --> 01:51:49.140
like if you talk about the civilian population

01:51:49.140 --> 01:51:51.479
so much more to even say about all that you know

01:51:51.850 --> 01:51:53.310
The thing about people on the streets that I

01:51:53.310 --> 01:51:55.170
learned when I was running around on them, a

01:51:55.170 --> 01:51:57.529
lot of them are mentally insane because they're

01:51:57.529 --> 01:51:59.970
alone but surrounded by people all the time.

01:52:00.109 --> 01:52:02.829
And they go crazy pretty quick. Then the drugs,

01:52:02.829 --> 01:52:05.590
the alcohol also induce that as well. If anybody

01:52:05.590 --> 01:52:07.609
was to ask me a question like what could have

01:52:07.609 --> 01:52:09.729
been done in that situation, it seemed like it

01:52:09.729 --> 01:52:13.300
was a pretty open train. I would just never sit

01:52:13.300 --> 01:52:16.880
in front of anybody who is on, for me at least,

01:52:16.880 --> 01:52:19.380
based off my experiences, if you're on a train

01:52:19.380 --> 01:52:22.439
and you have like a hood up over your head, which

01:52:22.439 --> 01:52:26.060
I think maybe this person did in this case. Like

01:52:26.060 --> 01:52:28.460
they're sitting there laying like that's a person

01:52:28.460 --> 01:52:30.960
who's overly comfortable on that public transportation

01:52:30.960 --> 01:52:33.260
for me. And I'm probably not going to sit down

01:52:33.260 --> 01:52:36.239
right in front of them. I mean, I'm armchair

01:52:36.239 --> 01:52:38.539
quarterback. I'm not saying this woman did anything

01:52:38.539 --> 01:52:41.340
wrong. She didn't. She's just an innocent soul.

01:52:42.199 --> 01:52:46.180
Very sad. But if somebody was to ask. What could

01:52:46.180 --> 01:52:48.100
have been done? I would just say, well, you know,

01:52:48.100 --> 01:52:50.140
maybe don't sit in front of people who happen

01:52:50.140 --> 01:52:53.060
to resonate with you in a certain way. And I'm

01:52:53.060 --> 01:52:54.319
not going to break down all the ways I go through

01:52:54.319 --> 01:52:56.100
this process. There's three things, anomalous

01:52:56.100 --> 01:53:00.960
behavior, being one of them. And so, yeah, heartbreaking.

01:53:02.819 --> 01:53:06.220
My wife is an optometrist and I actually went

01:53:06.220 --> 01:53:08.680
and got my eyes checked the other day and someone

01:53:08.680 --> 01:53:13.890
walked in and they had. just a strange gate a

01:53:13.890 --> 01:53:16.090
strange way about them they were older they weren't

01:53:16.090 --> 01:53:18.470
physically intimidating and they ended up when

01:53:18.470 --> 01:53:20.329
i was having my eyes checked causing a scene

01:53:20.329 --> 01:53:22.430
in that particular place and kind of you know

01:53:22.430 --> 01:53:25.300
storming out And it's interesting, you know,

01:53:25.319 --> 01:53:27.500
again, not that I've been at war, not that I'm

01:53:27.500 --> 01:53:29.600
a law enforcement officer, neither. But, you

01:53:29.600 --> 01:53:31.500
know, obviously, as a firefighter on the streets,

01:53:31.600 --> 01:53:33.100
you know, dealing with a lot of people that are

01:53:33.100 --> 01:53:35.640
desperate, you know, and there are some of those

01:53:35.640 --> 01:53:37.739
telltale signs. And like you said, in that particular

01:53:37.739 --> 01:53:39.699
case with the Ukrainian woman, you know, was

01:53:39.699 --> 01:53:41.640
that avoidable? You know, I mean, aside from,

01:53:41.659 --> 01:53:44.340
as you mentioned, just randomly not sitting there,

01:53:44.399 --> 01:53:48.470
probably not. it's amazing with body language,

01:53:48.569 --> 01:53:51.670
how you can see people that potentially are just,

01:53:51.770 --> 01:53:53.630
just a little off. And then you, you trust that

01:53:53.630 --> 01:53:56.329
your gut as well. But I mean, you know, if you

01:53:56.329 --> 01:53:58.909
haven't been surrounded with those kinds of people

01:53:58.909 --> 01:54:00.770
in the first place, you haven't really got that

01:54:00.770 --> 01:54:03.789
baseline to go off. Yeah. Which is one of the

01:54:03.789 --> 01:54:06.109
downfalls of American society is we're so spoiled.

01:54:06.770 --> 01:54:09.109
We're so spoiled. We don't recognize it. And

01:54:09.109 --> 01:54:11.989
it's a good thing, but a bad thing. Double -edged

01:54:11.989 --> 01:54:15.300
sword, I guess. Absolutely. Now, I know you mentioned

01:54:15.300 --> 01:54:17.340
it could be a three -hour conversation, but just

01:54:17.340 --> 01:54:19.739
one more question at you with this kind of firearm

01:54:19.739 --> 01:54:21.800
background, obviously your military service as

01:54:21.800 --> 01:54:26.079
well. If you're a king for a day, what would

01:54:26.079 --> 01:54:30.000
we do as far as our schools to try and reduce

01:54:30.000 --> 01:54:32.960
the number of horrendous shooting incidents that

01:54:32.960 --> 01:54:36.239
we're seeing at the moment? Yeah, that's a very

01:54:36.239 --> 01:54:37.939
easy question that I've talked to hundreds of

01:54:37.939 --> 01:54:39.659
schools across the entire nation about, and none

01:54:39.659 --> 01:54:41.439
of them have taken my advice. It's not like I

01:54:41.439 --> 01:54:45.699
don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that

01:54:45.699 --> 01:54:49.220
can go on for a long time. First thing is identity

01:54:49.220 --> 01:54:52.579
issues. So let kids be kids. They're not chopping

01:54:52.579 --> 01:54:54.619
their nuts off. They're not taking hormone blockers

01:54:54.619 --> 01:54:56.760
in the third grade. They're not a chick. They're

01:54:56.760 --> 01:54:59.619
not a dude if they're not genetically born that

01:54:59.619 --> 01:55:02.380
way. Stop confusing little kids. It's already

01:55:02.380 --> 01:55:04.220
hard enough to be a child. I've known plenty

01:55:04.220 --> 01:55:06.500
of transsexuals in my life. Almost all of them

01:55:06.500 --> 01:55:08.039
have killed themselves. All of them have been

01:55:08.039 --> 01:55:11.060
horribly depressed. Still are. And a few actually

01:55:11.060 --> 01:55:14.789
completely regret it. uh what they did to themselves

01:55:14.789 --> 01:55:17.350
after a handful of years so that's the first

01:55:17.350 --> 01:55:19.329
thing is stop messing with this gender identity

01:55:19.329 --> 01:55:21.909
stuff with little kids to get rid of safe spaces

01:55:21.909 --> 01:55:24.430
teach kids how to deal with playground bullies

01:55:24.430 --> 01:55:26.029
i'm not saying let kids go around beat the crap

01:55:26.029 --> 01:55:27.970
out of little kids and stuff but you at least

01:55:27.970 --> 01:55:29.890
need to take a step back and wait after the first

01:55:29.890 --> 01:55:33.710
punch or two are thrown like Kids have to learn

01:55:33.710 --> 01:55:35.710
how to deal with adversity, how to deal with

01:55:35.710 --> 01:55:37.729
disappointment and shame and guilt and embarrassment

01:55:37.729 --> 01:55:39.729
in themselves. And then they need to learn how

01:55:39.729 --> 01:55:41.930
to fix that and then overcome it and seek mentors

01:55:41.930 --> 01:55:43.649
and guidance from people like their parents,

01:55:43.710 --> 01:55:45.710
for example, or other mentors that they look

01:55:45.710 --> 01:55:47.470
up to. Because if you don't teach those kids

01:55:47.470 --> 01:55:48.989
how to deal with adversity and you teach them

01:55:48.989 --> 01:55:50.949
it's okay to express themselves however they

01:55:50.949 --> 01:55:52.510
want, whenever they want, but when they become

01:55:52.510 --> 01:55:55.560
an adult, then... they go to their job they get

01:55:55.560 --> 01:55:57.600
yelled at then they go get a gun and then they

01:55:57.600 --> 01:55:59.359
shoot everybody up whether that's at the workplace

01:55:59.359 --> 01:56:01.920
or at the school because they're 16 and they

01:56:01.920 --> 01:56:03.720
got a hold of a gun they spent their whole life

01:56:03.720 --> 01:56:06.779
being told you have no identity you have no purpose

01:56:06.779 --> 01:56:09.260
and it's okay to lash out however you want to

01:56:09.260 --> 01:56:12.760
lash out and then lastly would be the emergency

01:56:12.760 --> 01:56:15.460
procedures for schools i think they're insane

01:56:15.460 --> 01:56:18.960
i think they are the absolute dumbest thing in

01:56:18.960 --> 01:56:21.760
the world when there's a threat inside of the

01:56:21.760 --> 01:56:25.670
building and nobody's been able to explain to

01:56:25.670 --> 01:56:32.390
me this nobody I've spoken to thousands of people

01:56:32.390 --> 01:56:37.010
about this in public settings etc when the threat

01:56:37.010 --> 01:56:41.609
is inside the building why do we tell kids to

01:56:41.609 --> 01:56:48.890
sit still over over 90 % of all kids killed in

01:56:48.890 --> 01:56:50.649
school shootings are on the first floor over

01:56:50.649 --> 01:56:54.720
90 % Over 80 % of people killed in all active

01:56:54.720 --> 01:56:58.140
shooter situations are attempting to hide. Those

01:56:58.140 --> 01:57:04.180
are insane, insane numbers and statistics. 90

01:57:04.180 --> 01:57:07.319
plus percent. Now, I'll admit this is all self

01:57:07.319 --> 01:57:10.420
-founded research. You know, when I studied all

01:57:10.420 --> 01:57:12.979
the active shooter incidents, like 117 of them

01:57:12.979 --> 01:57:15.539
from like the 90s up until like, you know, 2017

01:57:15.539 --> 01:57:18.159
or 18 or 19 or something like that. A few anomalies

01:57:18.159 --> 01:57:20.760
exist where you're either killed within 35 meters

01:57:20.760 --> 01:57:22.819
or almost everybody's killed within 35 meters

01:57:22.819 --> 01:57:25.500
of the shooter. So those are three things right

01:57:25.500 --> 01:57:27.399
there that tell me, okay, well, if the threat's

01:57:27.399 --> 01:57:30.310
inside the building. Why don't we hit an alarm,

01:57:30.470 --> 01:57:33.350
have a window installed where the teacher and

01:57:33.350 --> 01:57:36.810
the students can exit out the first floor, where

01:57:36.810 --> 01:57:40.310
they go to one of four pre -designated rally

01:57:40.310 --> 01:57:43.109
locations within 100 yards of the school, terrain

01:57:43.109 --> 01:57:45.310
dependent, so that way the teachers, the staff,

01:57:45.529 --> 01:57:47.789
they can see students who are getting lost or

01:57:47.789 --> 01:57:50.029
confused or scared, and they can rally them towards

01:57:50.029 --> 01:57:53.979
those pre -designated rally locations. And then

01:57:53.979 --> 01:57:56.300
guess what? The school's vacated. The only person

01:57:56.300 --> 01:57:57.960
in there is the threat. And then the cops show

01:57:57.960 --> 01:57:59.119
up and then they shoot them or they shoot themselves

01:57:59.119 --> 01:58:01.779
usually. If you're on the second floor, fire

01:58:01.779 --> 01:58:06.140
escape ladders. Why is this so hard? You know,

01:58:06.159 --> 01:58:08.140
we've had thousands of fires across the nation

01:58:08.140 --> 01:58:11.939
in our schools, yet we've had zero fatalities

01:58:11.939 --> 01:58:14.720
every year. Why? It's because we build fire resistant

01:58:14.720 --> 01:58:17.260
materials. Why can't we use aesthetically pleasing

01:58:17.260 --> 01:58:20.000
bullet resistant materials? We can. It's out

01:58:20.000 --> 01:58:22.579
there. Instead of turning our schools into prisons,

01:58:22.899 --> 01:58:25.760
they could be aesthetically pleasing construction

01:58:25.760 --> 01:58:28.939
materials. And then two, the way that we run

01:58:28.939 --> 01:58:31.640
fire drills, the way we run active shooter drills

01:58:31.640 --> 01:58:35.619
is so, again, mind -blowing to me. Fake blanks

01:58:35.619 --> 01:58:37.819
and throwing staplers or fake staplers at a shooter.

01:58:37.939 --> 01:58:41.680
What idiot throws a stapler at a gunman? This

01:58:41.680 --> 01:58:44.760
is what we're teaching kids and teachers. And

01:58:44.760 --> 01:58:46.840
I can't tell you, hundreds of teachers have come

01:58:46.840 --> 01:58:48.500
up to me after these events that I'm talking

01:58:48.500 --> 01:58:51.060
at, and they'll be like, I keep a sledgehammer

01:58:51.060 --> 01:58:53.760
in my bottom right dress door. One keeps an ax

01:58:53.760 --> 01:58:57.319
to smash the windows that don't open because

01:58:57.319 --> 01:59:00.739
the school windows don't open. And we spend hundreds

01:59:00.739 --> 01:59:02.220
of billions of dollars on these school infrastructure

01:59:02.220 --> 01:59:04.159
projects and programs. Why can't we just replace

01:59:04.159 --> 01:59:07.279
one window per classroom? Well, if we sit down

01:59:07.279 --> 01:59:09.060
and we lock down and we all sit on this side

01:59:09.060 --> 01:59:11.220
of the classroom, Marjorie Stoneman stoked my

01:59:11.220 --> 01:59:13.260
interest in this when 14 out of the 17 people

01:59:13.260 --> 01:59:15.340
were killed in the classroom hiding in place,

01:59:15.420 --> 01:59:18.199
like on the first floor, on the first floor.

01:59:19.930 --> 01:59:25.550
So I would get rid of this gender ideology stuff

01:59:25.550 --> 01:59:27.529
that confused a hell of a lot of kids. I would

01:59:27.529 --> 01:59:30.430
allow a little bit of playground adversity and

01:59:30.430 --> 01:59:33.170
get rid of safe spaces simultaneously just so

01:59:33.170 --> 01:59:34.689
that way they could deal with some struggle and

01:59:34.689 --> 01:59:37.630
learn how to overcome that adversity. I would

01:59:37.630 --> 01:59:41.869
change the emergency operations procedures that

01:59:41.869 --> 01:59:43.449
we have for our schools. And then I would change

01:59:43.449 --> 01:59:45.970
the way that we train on them. And then lastly,

01:59:46.890 --> 01:59:50.189
I'm a big fan of a concealed carry security program.

01:59:50.409 --> 01:59:53.050
I really am. You're never going to convince me

01:59:53.050 --> 01:59:55.729
that we protect our politicians with guns, that

01:59:55.729 --> 02:00:00.170
we protect our money with guns, and we don't

02:00:00.170 --> 02:00:03.390
protect our children. In fact, every day my kid

02:00:03.390 --> 02:00:07.109
goes to school, I'm sitting here like, why am

02:00:07.109 --> 02:00:11.340
I even? I got to change it. I have to homeschool

02:00:11.340 --> 02:00:13.619
my kid. I'm not going to continue to send him

02:00:13.619 --> 02:00:15.439
to this thing. And it makes me sick to my stomach

02:00:15.439 --> 02:00:18.500
every day that I do because of these absolutely

02:00:18.500 --> 02:00:22.199
ridiculous policies and procedures. And that's

02:00:22.199 --> 02:00:24.560
what I do. So that was a very long winded answer,

02:00:24.699 --> 02:00:27.239
but it's something that I have spoken a lot about

02:00:27.239 --> 02:00:29.119
in the past. And I quite frankly have stopped

02:00:29.119 --> 02:00:31.779
because it's just, it's crazy. Nobody wants to

02:00:31.779 --> 02:00:35.399
listen to that. I actually got to experience

02:00:35.399 --> 02:00:38.020
a code red with my son. I took him to a doctor's

02:00:38.020 --> 02:00:39.819
appointment. brought him back to the school.

02:00:39.939 --> 02:00:42.939
And literally, as I'm signing him in, the doors

02:00:42.939 --> 02:00:44.880
closed behind me. Mr. Goering, you've got to

02:00:44.880 --> 02:00:46.439
come. You've got to stay. We've got to code red.

02:00:46.579 --> 02:00:48.859
Now, they'd done drills, but this was a bona

02:00:48.859 --> 02:00:51.859
fide code red. So we'd take it into the kind

02:00:51.859 --> 02:00:54.420
of like the behind the office area where they

02:00:54.420 --> 02:00:58.399
had photocopiers and some other things. And I'm

02:00:58.399 --> 02:00:59.800
standing there. And obviously, usually, I'll

02:00:59.800 --> 02:01:02.239
be the guy on the outside responding in a rescue

02:01:02.239 --> 02:01:05.100
or an engine. but I'm standing there with my

02:01:05.100 --> 02:01:07.420
child. And firstly, you know, I remember him

02:01:07.420 --> 02:01:09.060
saying, I'm so glad you're here with me, daddy,

02:01:09.119 --> 02:01:10.939
which broke my heart because how many children

02:01:10.939 --> 02:01:13.140
didn't have mom or dad next to them that were

02:01:13.140 --> 02:01:16.779
cowering under a desk. But secondly, I just realized

02:01:16.779 --> 02:01:19.159
how vulnerable they were. The teachers didn't

02:01:19.159 --> 02:01:21.460
know what was going on. Just the principal, you

02:01:21.460 --> 02:01:23.319
know, these kids are all hiding in the dark and

02:01:23.319 --> 02:01:25.560
I'm looking right at the front door and there's

02:01:25.560 --> 02:01:27.220
a paper guillotine. And now I'm like, well, fuck,

02:01:27.239 --> 02:01:28.739
I'm just going to have to snap the blade off.

02:01:28.819 --> 02:01:31.810
And, you know. Geronimo, here we go, probably

02:01:31.810 --> 02:01:33.409
going to get shot in the process, but this is

02:01:33.409 --> 02:01:36.310
all we've got. And so just realizing, like you

02:01:36.310 --> 02:01:40.409
said, that complete disconnection between what

02:01:40.409 --> 02:01:42.970
would be the appropriate response and what those

02:01:42.970 --> 02:01:47.430
teachers had the ability to even do. And, you

02:01:47.430 --> 02:01:50.250
know, hearing. So many people that have been

02:01:50.250 --> 02:01:52.289
in some of these school shootings responded to

02:01:52.289 --> 02:01:54.750
it. And you make a brilliant point that we protect

02:01:54.750 --> 02:01:57.489
politicians, we protect money with guns. But

02:01:57.489 --> 02:02:00.170
also Dave Grossman has been on a few times now.

02:02:00.329 --> 02:02:03.289
And listen to him pick apart all the different

02:02:03.289 --> 02:02:05.250
pieces. And this is what drives me crazy. And

02:02:05.250 --> 02:02:07.449
you alluded to this yourself. There are many,

02:02:07.550 --> 02:02:09.649
many areas that we've got to address simultaneously

02:02:09.649 --> 02:02:12.409
if we're going to fix this. Mental health, sleep

02:02:12.409 --> 02:02:14.710
deprivation from video games, operative conditioning

02:02:14.710 --> 02:02:18.359
from video games. You know, the household that

02:02:18.359 --> 02:02:20.479
these children are growing up in, you know, the

02:02:20.479 --> 02:02:23.800
bullying, all these areas. But what drives me

02:02:23.800 --> 02:02:26.619
crazy is this doesn't happen on most of the planet.

02:02:26.939 --> 02:02:29.939
But in America, we act like this is normal. So

02:02:29.939 --> 02:02:31.880
why are we not having the humility and going

02:02:31.880 --> 02:02:35.060
to Norway and Portugal and Sweden and Japan and

02:02:35.060 --> 02:02:36.659
be like, what are you doing that we're missing?

02:02:37.000 --> 02:02:39.180
And it's going to be exactly like you said, the

02:02:39.180 --> 02:02:41.319
mental health piece, you know, all these areas.

02:02:41.359 --> 02:02:44.180
And then probably another one is investing. in

02:02:44.180 --> 02:02:46.659
some of these schools that are struggling. We

02:02:46.659 --> 02:02:49.619
penalize schools when they struggle. A lot of

02:02:49.619 --> 02:02:52.300
other areas, in Scandinavia especially, they'll

02:02:52.300 --> 02:02:54.619
bolster those schools. So if there is a kind

02:02:54.619 --> 02:02:57.380
of missing piece at home, they'll fill that in

02:02:57.380 --> 02:02:59.819
in the school. And the kids will be strong and

02:02:59.819 --> 02:03:01.579
tough, but they'll also have someone that they

02:03:01.579 --> 02:03:04.060
can confide in, that they can feel safe around,

02:03:04.220 --> 02:03:07.170
that maybe has given them a meal that day. So

02:03:07.170 --> 02:03:10.369
this is what I hate is every single time these

02:03:10.369 --> 02:03:13.369
children are slaughtered, it becomes this political

02:03:13.369 --> 02:03:16.390
conversation of take all the guns or keep all

02:03:16.390 --> 02:03:19.529
the guns. And it does nothing for actually fixing

02:03:19.529 --> 02:03:22.270
the issue, which is let's take these 10, 12,

02:03:22.369 --> 02:03:25.550
15 pieces and address each and every one of them

02:03:25.550 --> 02:03:28.489
so we can fix this issue. Yeah, if we would have

02:03:28.489 --> 02:03:29.930
done that from the start, we'd probably have

02:03:29.930 --> 02:03:34.140
a resolution by now. Yeah, absolutely. All right,

02:03:34.159 --> 02:03:35.420
well, I want to go to some closing questions

02:03:35.420 --> 02:03:38.020
quickly, be mindful of your time. The first one

02:03:38.020 --> 02:03:40.859
I love to ask, is there a book or are there books

02:03:40.859 --> 02:03:43.279
that you love to recommend? It can be related

02:03:43.279 --> 02:03:45.659
to our discussion today or completely unrelated.

02:03:47.279 --> 02:03:49.939
I'd say Thinking Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill or

02:03:49.939 --> 02:03:52.460
The Science of Getting Rich, which I forget what

02:03:52.460 --> 02:03:56.520
that guy's author was, but things about the subconscious

02:03:56.520 --> 02:03:59.800
mind really resonate heavy with me because if

02:03:59.800 --> 02:04:01.619
you think you can or you can't, you're correct.

02:04:03.279 --> 02:04:08.060
What about films and documentaries? Man, I'm

02:04:08.060 --> 02:04:10.060
just like a big Animal Planet outer space guy.

02:04:10.199 --> 02:04:13.319
I don't really watch too many films or documentaries.

02:04:13.520 --> 02:04:18.039
But, you know, Tony Robbins, I'm not your guru,

02:04:18.159 --> 02:04:23.220
I thought was very opening eyes, heart, mind.

02:04:23.560 --> 02:04:26.060
I thought Tony Robbins was a joke that I watched

02:04:26.060 --> 02:04:27.960
that video. And I was like, what the shit am

02:04:27.960 --> 02:04:31.979
I watching? And it was pretty powerful. Yeah,

02:04:32.000 --> 02:04:35.500
absolutely. Well, speaking of people, is there

02:04:35.500 --> 02:04:37.760
a person you'd recommend to come on this podcast

02:04:37.760 --> 02:04:40.399
as a guest to speak to the first responders,

02:04:40.520 --> 02:04:42.880
military and associated professions of the world?

02:04:45.100 --> 02:04:48.220
Yeah, there are some people who have some pretty

02:04:48.220 --> 02:04:51.399
good momentum right now that do a lot of first

02:04:51.399 --> 02:05:02.109
responder work. Cody and I worked at the same

02:05:02.109 --> 02:05:03.510
unit at the same time. We didn't really know

02:05:03.510 --> 02:05:05.289
each other personally, though, but Cody Alford

02:05:05.289 --> 02:05:07.010
is doing a lot of good stuff these days. I see

02:05:07.010 --> 02:05:12.989
him on social media. Beyond the Barracks is a

02:05:12.989 --> 02:05:14.930
nonprofit out in Cali. They're doing some pretty

02:05:14.930 --> 02:05:17.310
good work as well, if you reach out to them.

02:05:17.890 --> 02:05:23.050
Then there's, again, I don't know this guy very

02:05:23.050 --> 02:05:29.699
well, Jimmy Watson. Oh, yeah, and then the Squadcast

02:05:29.699 --> 02:05:33.340
podcast dudes. Brent Tucker, he's a former Delta

02:05:33.340 --> 02:05:36.880
Force guy, and I feel like a dick because I can't

02:05:36.880 --> 02:05:38.180
remember the other dude's name right now, but

02:05:38.180 --> 02:05:41.359
he's a former Army infantry dude and I think

02:05:41.359 --> 02:05:44.659
a cop as well. Squadcast is the name of their

02:05:44.659 --> 02:05:48.000
show, and I think all those guys would be really

02:05:48.000 --> 02:05:50.100
great for you to converse with. I actually think

02:05:50.100 --> 02:05:52.060
the Squadcast guys, I think, are in Florida too.

02:05:53.220 --> 02:05:55.859
Okay, I'll have to look that up. Thank you. All

02:05:55.859 --> 02:05:57.159
right, well, the last question before we make

02:05:57.159 --> 02:05:59.340
sure everyone knows where to find you and your

02:05:59.340 --> 02:06:06.020
training, what do you do to decompress? I don't

02:06:06.020 --> 02:06:11.460
know if I do right now. With trying to grow the

02:06:11.460 --> 02:06:14.340
business and having two small boys and a wife

02:06:14.340 --> 02:06:17.500
and a house and really just in this phase of

02:06:17.500 --> 02:06:22.039
growth where we're at right now. You know, it's

02:06:22.039 --> 02:06:24.619
funny as helping people just brings me relief.

02:06:24.939 --> 02:06:28.020
I don't know if that, you know, constitutes decompression,

02:06:28.079 --> 02:06:32.319
but I just love the progress of the business

02:06:32.319 --> 02:06:34.260
and of the works. I've spent so many years just

02:06:34.260 --> 02:06:36.159
being a net negative. Now that we're like in

02:06:36.159 --> 02:06:39.220
a net positive growth state, it's just like a

02:06:39.220 --> 02:06:43.939
high to keep that train moving forward. So I'd

02:06:43.939 --> 02:06:46.060
like to do more skydiving, something that I told

02:06:46.060 --> 02:06:48.220
my wife I want to get back into again. And the

02:06:48.220 --> 02:06:51.399
hiking was amazing without the phone. But just

02:06:51.399 --> 02:06:53.739
being with the family at the end of the day when

02:06:53.739 --> 02:06:56.680
I'm here is knowing that I've grown the company

02:06:56.680 --> 02:06:58.720
and helped it be more successful by helping other

02:06:58.720 --> 02:07:01.199
people. That to me is just like the ultimate.

02:07:02.159 --> 02:07:06.039
I don't need anything else. Brilliant. My wife

02:07:06.039 --> 02:07:08.619
and I have both put a lot. of work in the last

02:07:08.619 --> 02:07:10.460
few years. And I think that's the thing is sometimes

02:07:10.460 --> 02:07:12.560
you have to postpone the decompression a little

02:07:12.560 --> 02:07:15.260
bit while you're in that growth phase. And then,

02:07:15.260 --> 02:07:17.460
you know, hopefully the other end of that will

02:07:17.460 --> 02:07:19.920
be actually a lot more time to decompress and

02:07:19.920 --> 02:07:23.760
spend time with family. For sure. All right.

02:07:23.760 --> 02:07:25.939
Well, for people listening, firstly, talk to

02:07:25.939 --> 02:07:28.760
me about the spectrum of training that you offer.

02:07:28.840 --> 02:07:30.859
And then let's talk about where people can find

02:07:30.859 --> 02:07:34.819
you online and social media. One -stop shop for

02:07:34.819 --> 02:07:36.619
everything defensive and tactics -based, man.

02:07:36.699 --> 02:07:38.460
We work with people who've never touched a gun,

02:07:38.500 --> 02:07:40.199
to people who've been shooting for a while, to

02:07:40.199 --> 02:07:43.199
law enforcement, SWAT, military. I mean, you

02:07:43.199 --> 02:07:45.420
could literally get it all in over where we're

02:07:45.420 --> 02:07:48.579
at. Defensive shooting and tactics, sell you

02:07:48.579 --> 02:07:51.399
the guns, the firearms, help you make right purchases,

02:07:51.840 --> 02:07:53.640
be a part of a group of great people. I mean,

02:07:53.659 --> 02:07:55.979
it's a one -stop siloed shop, and we even provide

02:07:55.979 --> 02:07:58.520
free self -defense insurance coverage through

02:07:58.520 --> 02:08:01.079
the USCCA. So anybody who trains with me automatically

02:08:01.079 --> 02:08:04.479
gets all. of their USCCA membership paid for

02:08:04.479 --> 02:08:07.800
for free. And that comes from my own experiences

02:08:07.800 --> 02:08:09.960
and believing that those guys by far have the

02:08:09.960 --> 02:08:11.659
best product out there and the best service possible.

02:08:12.039 --> 02:08:14.220
And it's like my lawyer could be your lawyer

02:08:14.220 --> 02:08:16.720
and it's all covered, all costs are covered if

02:08:16.720 --> 02:08:19.000
you're ever involved in an incident. So that's

02:08:19.000 --> 02:08:22.020
like the program that we've developed. And then

02:08:22.020 --> 02:08:25.060
you could find that at joemallonetraining .com

02:08:25.060 --> 02:08:28.079
or... instagram facebook joe malone training

02:08:28.079 --> 02:08:31.460
things like that where uh i'm pretty active and

02:08:31.460 --> 02:08:33.500
you can just give us a call and find our number

02:08:33.500 --> 02:08:36.840
and contact info and stuff brilliant well joe

02:08:36.840 --> 02:08:39.119
i want to thank you so much i mean you know obviously

02:08:39.119 --> 02:08:41.840
talking about some of the areas that we have

02:08:41.840 --> 02:08:43.560
some of the tangents have been amazing but i

02:08:43.560 --> 02:08:47.520
always i'm in awe of people that truly have the

02:08:47.520 --> 02:08:49.779
courage to be vulnerable you know and this is

02:08:49.779 --> 02:08:52.239
you know the storytelling i think that's honestly

02:08:52.239 --> 02:08:54.659
going to save lives. And I know sometimes that

02:08:54.659 --> 02:08:58.140
involves revisiting some of the more raw moments

02:08:58.140 --> 02:09:01.000
in people. But I think the force multiplying

02:09:01.000 --> 02:09:05.020
effect of really resonating with people is this

02:09:05.020 --> 02:09:06.960
courageous vulnerability. So I want to thank

02:09:06.960 --> 02:09:09.100
you not only for that, but also for being so

02:09:09.100 --> 02:09:11.319
generous with your time and coming on the Behind

02:09:11.319 --> 02:09:14.800
the Shield podcast today. Keep doing it, man.

02:09:15.180 --> 02:09:17.260
I have no doubt that you've made a lot of positive

02:09:17.260 --> 02:09:19.319
impacts in this world. And I just look forward

02:09:19.319 --> 02:09:19.880
to seeing you grow.