Welcome to episode 148 of Behind the Shield podcast.
As always, my name is James Geering,
and this week I have an incredibly powerful story for you.
I was invited into the home of agent Drew Stokes
as he recounted his story of surviving a murder attempt
in the parking lot of a public supermarket here in America.
And this interview was done less than a year
after he almost died.
We are seeing just a horrendous amount of attacks
on our law enforcement members.
And it seems like as a daily event that we have
a line of duty death involved with the murder of an officer.
So Drew, you're gonna hear,
I mean, he was just a hair's width from death, came back,
and his story of recovery,
how he used CrossFit as his rehab tool,
just mentally how he survived this attack
and went back to work in such a short amount of time
is gonna blow you away.
There's no other expression for it.
It's incredible.
So I urge you to listen
and I urge you to share the hell out of this
because his story needs to be heard worldwide,
not only by the people in the first responder community,
but by the civilians who are kind of led down
a certain path by certain media outlets.
But these men and women swear the oath
and literally lay their lives on the line every single day
and Drew lived to tell the tale,
but many of our brothers and sisters didn't.
So with that being said, as I always say,
please go to your podcast apps, rate the show,
share the show, but as with this episode,
share the hell out of these interviews, these stories,
incredible human beings that I'm blessed
to have on this podcast.
So without further ado, I introduce to you,
Agent Drew Stokes, enjoy.
Thank you for having me.
Here we go.
This call did not resonate with you,
but also with the men who affected
the entire chance for history.
cured lawns and golf courses and yeah that's not always where my interviews are so thank you.
I'm very fortunate to have a great wife. Yes, yeah and a beautiful home too. So I want to start
at the very very beginning. We're going to talk about your whole story and you know the
tragedy and then the miraculous recovery and where CrossFit fit in but I'd love to start
at the very very beginning. So we're here now in Jacksonville. Were you born in this area?
I was not. I was born in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Okay and then if you wouldn't mind
just give me a little snapshot of what your family unit was like, what your parents did and how many
siblings? So I have one sister, two step brothers. My father worked for Bell South or Southern Bell.
He was a lineman. My mother had several different jobs in the banking industry and she's retired now.
Okay and how long was your dad a lineman for? My dad worked for Bell South for just over 30 years.
He started out fueling trucks and then became a lineman and then worked in fiber optics and
now he contracts back with them in an engineering capacity for another company. Right and did you
have any military or first responders in your family back then? No, we had no. My grandfather
was in the Navy for two years. He was in the Navy Reserves and that's it. Brilliant. All right so
back then obviously now you do a very active job. We're going to talk about being an athlete in the
CrossFit space too but were you an active sportsman or an athlete back then? So I tried to play football
and in eighth grade I didn't make the team. So I gave up on football right then. As a kid I did
play basketball like fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth grade and then once I did make the football team
in eighth grade I decided that I had a new focus and those were girls and through high school and
that was my primary goal was to chase them around. Right well that's exercise, that's cardio.
Little abs. All right so what about your career path then? So you come out of high school were
you immediately on the path to law enforcement? So I got my love for law enforcement or where I
wanted to go in law enforcement when I was in somewhere in high school. I grew up in a little
town, little county called Davidson County and went to North Davidson Senior High School which
is just outside of Lexington, North Carolina and we had a field trip and I remember seeing a North
Carolina State Trooper. We went to a local community college and I saw a North Carolina
State Trooper in an unmarked Mustang pull-up and he was impeccably dressed and I said this is what
I want to do. I've always been kind of a car guy and I was like man if I could be in this well
dressed and be able to drive a fast car for a living I think this would this would be fantastic.
So going through high school I really didn't have a lot of direction. I wasn't a very good student.
I was kind of a clown and I remember I was in Mr. Everhart's advanced science class my senior year
and I talked with a girl named Kelly Morgan was sitting beside me and I was talking to her and her
boyfriend at the time was his name was John Griggs who's now a firefighter by the way and he had
joined the Coast Guard and I got to talking to her about him joining the Coast Guard and I said you
know I never even thought about the Coast Guard because I knew I wasn't going to college. I wasn't
built for that academically. I wasn't ready and as a man I just wasn't ready to go to college so
so I decided right then and there I went and talked to a Coast Guard recruiter and May 31st
of 1992 I graduated high school and then I took off and went to the Coast Guard in June 29th.
30 days later is whenever I when I started going to when I went to boot camp. Right that's interesting
my father-in-law is a Coastie very very proud Coastie. Yes so I did six years I got stationed
in Coast Guard Academy and then I went to Radarman school so I was a professional radar operator.
Went to a ship in Long Beach California a high endurance cutter which I was on for three years
and then after that three years I got stationed in 1998. I got stationed I'm sorry 1996. I got
stationed with the legacy U.S. Custom Service watching radar on a southwest border or southern
border. We went all the way from California all the way down to South Florida and then also into
northern South America looking for airplanes coming across the border smuggling contraband.
So I started doing that in 1996 and then I actually got picked up with the legacy custom
service in 1998. So I did the exact same job I just I literally got out of the Coast Guard on a Friday
and started with customs the following Monday. I did the same job I never went into training I just
kept doing the same thing. Was that a good relationship between the two or you just
head hunted and pulled that one? No it was a great relationship. We worked great you know with the
legacy custom service and the Coast Guard worked had a very good partnership. Right okay. So and I
was able to I was able just it was a smooth easy transition for me and for the custom service.
Right so were you within that during 9-11 then the 2001? Yes so I was not at the at the ground
radar facility then I transferred here to Jacksonville and it was flying in we have we
have P3 aircraft which is a large four engine turboprop. They were originally made for sub
hunting during the Cold War and customs now has 14 of them. At that time we had 16 and we would
we had like an AWACS style radar on them and so we would during 9-11 we actually responded
afterwards and patrolled the airspace around the United States. So yes this is your answer. I was
I was flying for customs then as a radar operator. Okay and then are you were you doing them what
you're still doing now the same kind of role? That is that's correct the only difference is
at that time I wasn't considered a law enforcement officer so I was able to transition and become a
become an agent in November of 2007. Right so if you wouldn't mind for everyone and I've told you
this before we even started you work for Air Marine Operations. I have no idea what you what
you guys do so talking to an eight-year-old aka my brain if you wouldn't mind kind of describing
what you guys do and what your kind of scope of practice is. Sure so Air Marine Operations is
part of customs and border protection. There are three parts of customs border protection which
is the border patrol office field operations and then Air and Marine operations. So Air Marine
Operations we have the largest law enforcement aircraft inventory in the world. We have over 200
aircraft over 300 vessels that we use to protect all the borders the northern borders the southern
border on down into Puerto Rico and then the aircraft that I fly in are long-range aircraft
will actually deploy and and will fly in the eastern pacific or in the caribbean looking for
drug smuggling aircraft or contraband smuggling aircraft vessels fishing vessels semi-submersible
vessels go fast type vessels anything that they can use to push contraband is what we're looking for.
All right so you're flying the planes you know we're getting this vision of what you do in the
skies but I know on September 26th 2017 you were actually on land at a Publix and had a life-changing
event so if we kind of go back a little bit what got you you know where were you that day why were
you there and then if you wouldn't mind kind of just telling us what happened. Okay so to get to
September 26th I need to get in I need to start about a month before to set it up and really to
really understand for your audience during that time is when Hurricane Harvey was happening
so we'll go you know three weeks a month before Hurricane Harvey's happening and my agency Air
Marine Operations has a massive response to the Houston flooding. I call a friend of mine so
they're based out of San Antonio because obviously all the airports in Houston are shut down so we're
flying they're flying Blackhawks Hueys all kinds of aircraft into Houston from San Antonio and then
we're doing P3 support as well so I wasn't on the flight schedule immediately so one of my friends
is out there running the show I just happened to talk to him he's like man I'm buried out here
and I said do you need some help because I do but I can't I can't ask for you so I was like so I
went and talked to my my boss I'm like hey they need some help out there and I said can I can I
go out there and help me he said absolutely so they put the next airplane we sent out to San Antonio
I jumped on it and went out there and basically helped them so to get the guy who's running the
running the operation out there I basically was able to relieve him at night get paperwork
squared away watch the aircraft you know get missions ready and then the next morning he was
able it was basically just to give him time to sleep for seven or eight hours I could sit there
I wasn't doing anything spectacular I was just basically you know just just doing the very
minimal I could minimum amount I could to help them out so we did that for about a week or so
week and a half or so where basically we're just working you know port and starboard type shifts
12 hours on 12 hours off and the water started receding in Houston they moved the helicopters
to Conroe and then Hurricane Irma is starting to fire up so in Irma as you know was coming
towards Florida it was all the forecast where it's just going to come straight up the middle of
Florida or either hit Jacksonville or maybe just up the west coast I really didn't know so but what
we did know is we needed to leave so we we left we went back to Jacksonville and then we we hurruvac'd
evacuated our aircraft from Jacksonville we took them to a to a spot where they would be safe
near the center of the country so once we all got back to Jacksonville Irma hits here and then we
have some employees some other agents that have some localized flooding in their houses we have
some retirees things like that to help them dig out so we take a couple days and help guys
dig out from their families we get everybody back up on their feet and then we go get our aircraft
and bring them back to Jacksonville so as soon as we get the airplanes back that's when Maria
fires up so Maria fires up and we know it's headed towards we know St. Thomas St. Croix
Puerto Rico we know it's going to be bad and and the administration did a fantastic job of us
getting out in front of it so what we did was they told us they said hey take one of the take one of
the aircraft and fly out to El Paso and we need you to pick up some some SRT folks and so we flew
to El Paso and I don't remember the exact date but it was towards the end of September
we flew out to El Paso we stayed overnight there and then we loaded an SRT guys and their pack out
in the airplane and we left them then while we were out there they said hey we need to go to
Homestead and pick up more people so we flew about four hours down to Homestead picked up another
group of SRT folks and their stuff and then we're basically flying through the the outer bands that
are hurricane to get down to Puerto Rico so we land in San Juan which is which is really really
really tore up at that point so we're able to land there and then we kicked some of the SRT folks
off then we took off and went to Aguadilla which is where we have we have a base there
and so we land in Aguadilla which was Aguadilla was beat up really bad but we were able to get
we were able to get folks in and so the agency asked us to if there was somebody the employees
basically or contractors if their families if they needed to get out of Puerto Rico to work with
out of Puerto Rico to we're going back to Jacksonville anyway just put them on the
airplane and go so we got they told us that and there was another airplane that was before us
that took a big load of people the plane I was on we brought back four people so now we're about
maybe 16 hours in our day 14 15 16 hours who knows at that point so we're getting the airplane out
of there we got to go you know fly through the edge of this hurricane again and then get back
to Jacksonville well on the way back we get these people and one of the ones was a little girl she
was maybe five six years old maybe and she was scared these airplanes are big they're loud
they're foreigns and turboprop prop airplanes airplanes they they don't have any windows inside
of them it's dark and you could tell this little girl was terrified she was with her grandmother
I believe and then we had two other folks as well and I just remember seeing her she was wearing a
shark suit like a like a shark outfit and I see she just had this look on her face so it's like
you guys have anything to eat and then they're like we don't have anything so I'm like what
and I realized that these people have just basically been through a nuclear bomb if you
can think about it I mean everything's gone and so we decided to we we realized then that they
didn't have any food so we gave them our food that we had left cooked them a meal and then we
have four beds in the back of the airplane so we were able to put put all four people in the beds
in the back of the airplane get them back to Jacksonville and and then get them to a hotel
once we landed so it was a super long day but it was totally worth it right just to interject for
a sec so that's the hurricane that completely flattened Puerto Rico took out there all their
infrastructure that houses basically were evaporated correct yes and these were some people
we were just able to get on the airplane and get out of there get back to some civilization
right because when you talk about that Katrina I'll never forget and I just want to touch on this
point because it's one of the things that's killed me about I guess media in general but you talked
about you're on a plane there were people who needed to leave so you took them with you I'm
never forgetting Hurricane Katrina seeing Geraldo Rivera screaming on TV that he was beneath this
you know flyover this freeway flyover and the same people were still there than when they went there
three days ago and I'm just looking at the TV there well why the fuck didn't you take him in
your helicopter the first time you know so it's it's great to see that that you know the simple
mobilization of vehicles that you can take you know move people away from that and that's that's
what we need to do instead of looking for a certain agency or whatever every single person
will roll up their sleeves and help and what you did with your your colleagues before you know you
mobilize is what everyone in that community should be doing exactly that's exactly right so I was
scheduled to go back to Puerto Rico on September 27th I was scheduled to fly that day so on September
26 knowing what what we had just been through it had a profound effect on me because I just seeing
a child like that it really it really bothered me so I talked with a boss I was like hey I'm
going to go to Publix we'll go grab some uh go grab some groceries put it back in the refrigerator
to work that way when I get to work in the morning I can just grab it put on the airplane and we can
go because these are pretty long days I mean you look at pre-flight an airplane flying to Puerto
Rico's you know four and a half five hours who knows how long you'll be on the ground and four
and a half five hours back so these are these are very long days so I decided to go to Publix
and grab some stuff for uh for the people coming back right and you're in your I was in uniform so
we generally wear a one-piece flight suit we have an option for a two-piece flight suit which is
what I had on that day so I had on flight suit pants I had on a t-shirt it said cbp federal agent
on the back of it and I was wearing a shoulder holster and so I go through I go into Publix do
my shopping I'll never forget I come out of lane number two uh there was I remember Publix is very
good about their employees hey do you need help out you know they're fantastic company and I
never forget there was a little blonde-headed girl there uh she was late teens probably she asked me
if I need to help out and that and usually I say yes I just say hey let's walk and talk and I just
ask them how their day's going where their future is what their plans are but that day I said no
and uh and I don't know why I said no I just did so I come out of uh I come out of the door of Publix
and uh I start walking um down the very center so if you imagine how Publix is they have on each
side of the store they have doors and then uh so if you can imagine in between the two doors it was
a parking space uh or lane so I started walking down that lane and as I got to uh if you imagine
where the handicapped spots spots are I'm walking with groceries in my hand and all of a sudden I
hear someone screaming at the top of their lungs I fucking hate cops and then bang bang bang bang
bang bang just like that I mean it was from the time he he screamed I hate cops till the shot
sequence was over was maybe two seconds maybe uh so he shot me five times uh complete ambush uh he
was driving a black BMW from behind he had his left hand out the window and uh he just he just
shot me he and he got five direct hits on me from about seven feet away so he was so he shot from
seated in the car from seated in a moving vehicle yes wow so again when we talk about situational
awareness you know you can come monday morning quarterback right it's kind of hard to predict
that exactly and when I when I talk in person I have guys hey I'll warn them the monday morning
quarterback me tell me what I could have done differently there's a million different things
I could have done differently and I know that um but it was just you know it was was it complacency
who knows I mean but it was it was an ambush I never I never had a chance so he had the gun
pointed at me before he even he screamed I hated cops it was it was already pointed at me so
whenever he whenever he screamed I immediately dropped my dropped my bags I had my hand and I
went to grab because it's a cross draw for a shoulder holster so I went the gun was underneath
my left arm so I went to I went to grab the gun and then as soon as I got my hands on the gun
the first shot went in underneath my right arm so in that that bullet uh which we didn't know at
the time uh it went through broke my ribs and then went through my liver and stopped in my spine so
you weren't wearing a vest that day I was not wearing a vest that day no I was just going to
store and coming back I was gonna say didn't have reasons to really right be armored up right and
so the the uh the second bullet it went in through my uh my right uh buttock and if you could imagine
if you've ever shot a target that as it turns you know it makes that it makes that cut in the paper
that's exactly what the gunshot wound in my right buttock looks like that that bullet went through
my rectum and then stopped in my left hip and that bullet is still there as well
bullet number three now that so we trained to turn towards our threat and I think the combination
of the bullets and my training was turning me towards him so the the third shot went into the
top of my right hip and just went straight in and stopped and that bullet's still there uh the fourth
went in um in my left leg uh just on the outside of of my femur it went out the back and then the
fifth bullet went through my arm right here it went through the my left forearm uh just south of my
elbow and and came out on the uh on the north side right and just from here sitting here obviously
you're looking like swiss cheese always bullet hole scars that you're showing me right and then
you can see where they opened me up oh yeah so i've got a i've got a midline scar from the bottom of my
chest cavity to the top of my belt line i've got a midline scar and then i've got another east west
scar from where i was on a colostomy back for five months uh so this is where they had to open me up
and uh and repair my liver all right so before we go to what happens next had that guy been targeting
you specifically or had he just sat in his day when he came across the cop he was going to kill him
correct so he decided that day that he was um the local sheriff's department clay county sheriff
had put out a warrant for his arrest for uh a petty uh transportation of narcotics uh they
contacted his mother uh his mother contacted him he had a hatred for cops so he said that he was
either going to go kill another drug dealer named ladarius or the first cop that he saw and uh 12
minutes after that he made that call to his girlfriend is when he found me right okay well
back back to you so you're lying there you've just been shot so i've just been shot so i felt every
um what people ask me what's it feel like to be shot and the only thing that i can relate it to
is if you can think of a 22 year old mike tyson hitting you as hard as he can in the rib cage with
no glove on i don't know what that feels like but i know what a what a gunshot feels like
and that that's they're probably pretty similar uh so he shot me with a glock 19 it was ball ammo
thankfully um it was a stolen weapon as well so i felt every bullet go through my body uh i knew
i was being shot i didn't know how many times i'd been shot i just knew that it was happening
and so i was uh i was trying to fight through it but it just buckled my knees there was there was
nothing i could do it buckled my knees i made maybe i made it maybe a foot foot and a half and then i
collapsed in the parking lot so i collapsed just because i couldn't i was been i've been
shot in my legs and my torso and i just couldn't physically stand up but i wasn't out of the fight
so i continued to draw my gun and when i did i uh the back of my hand went across the asphalt
and i've got a big scar on the back of my hand actually ripped all the sensory nerves off the
back of my hand which have since found their way back i don't know how that happens but it's
pretty miraculous the way the body works yeah i heard that can actually happen when there's people
changing their mind in science now yeah so i uh so i get my gun out and i'm like and and i look
over and i see these two these two holes in my left arm and and i'm and i'm getting pretty mad
i'm like this this guy just shot me and i'm i'm i'm mad i'm really really mad and i'm and i'm
cussing i'm screaming but i know that there's a guy with a gun out there and i'm laying in a
parking lot and there's an open field so i start scanning for targets that's like i'm laying here
and i'm and i looked and there was a white f-150 in front of me and i started looking underneath
the uh the card because i was thinking the guy was probably going to circle around and put another
one in me and uh so i start seeing feet coming at me uh underneath that truck so i take my i take
my weapon i i rotate uh as far around as i can i think i'm to the end of the truck maybe not all
the way but i'm close and i've got all the slack out of trigger i've made a determination i'm going
to kill this person that comes around inside the truck that's because i'm sure it's the shooter
the way the feet are coming at me so i've got all the slack out of the trigger i've got my gun
pointed waiting for him to come around and whenever the the guy comes around he starts going it's
he's gone he's gone he's gone he's dead he's gone and i immediately recognized that it wasn't the
shooter and because i saw the shooter i saw the last two muzzle blasts i saw his face and i knew
he was i knew it was a skinny person and the guy that came around his name was tim deitrich
and and i had my gun pointed towards him and i immediately uh like i said i recognized it wasn't
it wasn't the kid who shot me so i so i put my i just indexed my finger on the side of weapon and
all my training just kicked in it was just all the years and years and years of training and
shooting guns and i'm a firearms instructor and all that came back and i realized that fully loaded
weapon hand and i was like get your finger outside the trigger guard it's like i was in an open field
i didn't have a target so so i decided to i decided to kind of ground the weapon in front of me
whenever he told me that that hey he's he's gone so it takes me so this is maybe 15 seconds 10 15
seconds into this whenever tim gets there and uh and i'm trying to process he's gone it's like all
right he said he he killed himself said he shot shot you and he shot himself and it's and then he
ended up wrecking so while tim's there i said i said okay i said i need you to call 911 tell
him officer down public's parking lot in oakley it's like roger that i'm on it then another guy
comes up and i said hey i need you to call my office uh i gave them the phone number and our
duty supervisor so i need you to call him say hey drew stokes has been shot he's in the public's
parking lot so i knew at that point that if if i was going to survive it was probably going to be
up to me it's not that other people weren't capable but i've just had more training that's
all so i decided to i decided to select and direct people of what i wanted them to do
and then we have a training we call star training and it's basically survival mindset training and
i actually guessed and struck there as well so when we do the star training part of the things
that the guys teach us we have some some former kansas city SWAT guys that teach the class
and one thing they told us SWAT medic is keep the blood in a container keep the blood in a container
keep the blood in a container keep the blood in a container and i was a container and i told
them i said you've got to keep the blood in a container keep the blood in container because
at this point i could see a big river of of blood coming down beside me it was it was it was it was
big because I was the, they poked a lot of holes in me at this point.
So, so I said, keep the blood in your tank.
So they started putting paper towels.
By this point, people are starting to come from everywhere.
I mean, there's probably 10 people around me.
A lot of these people haven't even met.
Uh, still don't even know their names.
Uh, but one in particular that came out was a girl named Shelby Barrios.
She was a hairdresser at a local, uh, great clips and she was four months pregnant,
but she wanted to go to nursing school and she comes out and, and she comes out.
So she's on my left side, no PPE gear whatsoever.
And she's starting to plug holes with, uh, by this time they get,
they get paper towels out there.
So, so I'm laying there and I'm thinking, all right, I've got all these people
all over me and, uh, I said, I said to myself, I said, man, I said, Drew,
I said, you got to wiggle the toes, man.
Wiggle the toes, wiggle the toes.
So I felt my toes wiggle in my boots and everything that I've ever learned about
survival is positive mental attitude plus 98.6.
That's what I've been taught my entire career.
You've got to have potty, it's positive mental attitude and you've
got to have that body temperature.
Uh, I knew I had the body temperature cause it was a thousand degrees outside
that day and I was laid on black asphalt.
So I was quite sure I had the body temperature.
I was definitely warm enough.
There's no doubt about that.
And then, um, and then I had the positive mental attitude.
So I was setting goals.
I was like, man, just get to this minute, wiggle the toes, do this, you know, and
then they, and then, uh, another guy who's a retired Marine whom I still haven't met.
Uh, I remember him saying, he's like, Hey, I got some quick clot.
You want me to pour a quick clot in you?
I was like, yes, absolutely.
Uh, it was the old powdered con.
Uh, so he poured it in the hole in my shirt.
None of it made it to the wound.
None of it, not a bit.
So it was all inside my shirt.
Whenever I got my uniforms back, I was like, that's the quick clot.
So when we still have the uniforms, I'll go with, I'll go through that later.
So about this time, um, I'm laying there and I've got all these people around me
and I hear the most beautiful sound that you can ever hear.
And that's a 2017 Dodge Charger, Clay County Sheriff's Department coming
at me at 145 miles an hour.
I hear the cavalry coming.
And again, those sirens were a huge morale boost for me.
It was huge just to hear it.
Cause I'm like, all right, they're here.
They're coming.
They're here.
Uh, the first guy on the scene is a guy named Rick Miller with the
Clay County Sheriff's Department.
Um, I hear that I hear a ruckus going on, uh, that I hear another guy
who later turns out to be Jacob Hawkins, uh, come up and I hear, and
now the only thing I hear him say is signal 60 signal 60, which I didn't
know, which apparently meant suicide, um, in their, in their, in their language.
It was suicide talking about the other guy.
And I was, uh, telling them that they probably shouldn't worry about him.
They should worry about me in a different way.
He's taking care of himself.
Yeah.
So I, so I hear, so I hear Jake, I can hear him running towards me.
Um, let me back up for a second before that the public's manager gets there.
And somebody, uh, public's manager, someone kicks my gun away from me.
That's so I've got my gun in my hand.
They kicked my gun away from me and I said, that's my gun.
Give me my damn gun back.
And they, and they kicked the gun back to me and it goes around in a circle.
Of course, the barrel ends up pointing at my forehead.
Nice.
So that in the movies probably.
So I've had a bad day at this point.
So I, I take the weapon and I, and I pull it back underneath me, uh,
about to my chest right here.
So just so what I was worried about was somebody was going to try to grab it
and think it has a safety on it.
So I actually tried to unload it because I was certain that there were so many
people around, I was certain there wasn't another shooter and for was he
probably wasn't going to get to me.
So I actually unloaded the weapon.
I dumped the magazine out of the magazine.
Well, I tried to get the one out of the chamber and I didn't have the strength
to do it and I wasn't going to ask anybody else.
So I said, all right, if I'm going to have one of them, I might as well have 13.
So I reload the weapon, put it back in front of me.
So this is when I hear Jake come.
And so when Jake's coming, I hear, uh, I started going again, it's
instinctive to me, I started going, I'm a cop, I'm a cop, I'm a cop, I'm a cop,
I'm a cop.
Again, it's what we've learned in our survival training is that because we
were a non-standard uniform, we're in a Brown uniform says CBP federal agent
on the back of it, and I've got a 40, uh, 40 caliber handgun in my hand.
And Jake's coming at me and he's got a 45, which I don't know, uh, at the time,
but I just start screaming, I'm a cop.
Cause that's what I've been doing.
I start screaming, I'm a cop.
Cause that's what I've been trained because I didn't want him to come around
and put a 45 in me because he sees a guy laying there with a gun, you know, it
could be, who knows, it could be some sort of response.
He clicks in, sees a gun, shoots somebody.
You don't know what dispatch told him either.
Right.
So, and I had had enough at that point.
So I didn't need another 45 round.
So, and it worked whether, whether it doesn't matter.
It worked because he comes around, uh, uh, Jake comes around, he comes to my side
and he says, Hey, I'm Jacob Hawkins with the Clay County Sheriff's Department.
You're golden.
Fine. So again, little goals.
And that was a huge, again, another huge morale booster.
And it helped me with the positive mental attitude.
It's like, all right, I've got somebody here and he says, I'm going to be okay.
Maybe it's not that bad.
So he looks at me and he goes, he goes, Hey, man, he goes, I've got to
put a tourniquet on that left leg.
And, uh, again, through our survival training, they make us put tourniquets
on each other and they make us do it.
Right.
We have to do it right to pass the class.
And I'd just been through tourniquet training, uh, about a month before I'd,
I'd actually been through the, the, our survival course.
So I knew what was coming and, uh, and, and Jake's a pretty strong guy.
And he, and he, him and Cheryl Shelby put the, uh, put the tourniquet on me
and they tightened it down and it was, it was, it was all the pain I needed.
So, and then just to make it a little bit better, they put one of my left arm as well.
So I had, now I have five gunshot wounds and two tourniquets.
And, uh, I don't know how much pain God lets us feel, but whatever it was,
whatever the maximum is, I'm pretty sure I got it that afternoon.
Uh, so, uh, now it turned out that we probably didn't need the tourniquet on the
leg, but it was the, I had severe internal bleeding from the, from the liver,
the liver laceration.
So Jake goes on once they get the tourniquets on and I'm screaming.
I, there's no doubt about it.
I'm, I'm screaming.
I'm, I'm not happy.
Uh, so Jake's like, listen, I got, I got to, I got to figure out.
I got to figure out.
So we're waiting on the fire, the fire station to get there.
So Jake starts doing a finger sweep on me and he finds the, uh, the hole
that's underneath my right arm.
He finds that one, the first shot.
And, uh, so it's bleeding.
So he just sticks his finger in it.
And he, when he stuck his finger in the hole, uh, I did a pushup.
Jake used to be a professional bull rider and I did a, I did a pushup and
bucked him off and he came back and he said, I can't, he goes, you can't do
that again, man, he goes, I got to stop this.
So, uh, the clay County sheriff's department, uh, provides every one
of their deputies with a medic bag.
And Jake had just went through combat medic school and also had done a
refresher, uh, like several weeks before.
So, so Jake was able to, he told, he told Rick Miller to go get his medic bag.
So he plugged the hole in his finger and he, he'd taken the tourniquet off of,
off of Rick to, to put on my, to put on my leg, which is kind of funny.
Um, so the, the sheriff's department here is fantastic in the way they, they,
they equipped their deputies, they're, they're, they're ready at all times for
anything and the sheriff has just been fantastic and they're a very well run
department.
So he comes, uh, Jake comes up and finally puts an
occlusive dressing, uh, on my side.
That's when fire station 26 gets there.
Uh, they rolled me over and, uh, Jake said, I looked very gray.
He said, my gums were gray.
Everything was gray.
Uh, he knew the, the Lieutenant Stacey Matthews and he knew Stacey because, I
mean, it's a small County and these guys all know each other and he told Stacey
what all was going on.
And, and so they flipped me over and then that's whenever they put me onto a,
onto the stretcher and then put me into the back of the ambulance.
Uh, I remember late in the back of the ambulance or trying to get an IV started
and, and, and I could see in the fireman's faces, I could see in the paramedics.
I knew it was bad.
Um, I could just tell because they were nervous, uh, trying to start an IV and
stuff on me and I could tell that it was, that it was not good.
Uh, but we just, we, we kept going.
And I saw, I said, come on guys, we got to go.
We got to go with Jake, Jake Peaks is a head inside the ambulance.
He goes, Hey man, he goes, I need to know what happened.
He goes, your boss is on the way.
My boss is on the way.
I've got to know, you've got to tell me what happened.
And I just looked at him.
I said, the coward shot me in the back.
Uh, cause I thought I'd shot in the back and it was actually in the side at that
point.
So he goes, that's all I needed.
And he closed the, uh, close the, the back of the ambulance and we started going.
I told Rick, I told the guys driving, uh, Tommy was driving.
I said, I said, we got to go.
We got to go.
We got to go now.
So we start going.
And, uh, now this part about to tell you, I didn't remember until later, whenever
the paramedics Stacey told me, uh, so we're on the way back and we're on the way to
the hospital.
And apparently I asked Stacey, I said, uh, I said, am I going to die?
And he goes, you got a 50, 50 shot.
And I found that out later.
I said, Hey man, next time just tell me I'm going to live.
I'm not going to know the difference.
Before you at least.
So, uh, so, uh, we had a chuckle about that afterwards.
And I told the story at awards ceremony.
So I came very close with fire station 26 and myself.
So they get me to the, I pass out on the way to hospital because of the bleeding.
And Stacey said, he could tell because my pleural cavity was blowing up.
He said, he could see it in my, in my stomach was getting really distended.
So he knew it was bad, but he never told me that.
So I remember going into, uh, the ambulance bed, orange park medical center.
I remember the shimmy of the ambulance.
I woke up and they had me at about a 45 degree angle sitting in there.
And I'm kind of a jokester.
It's just, it's just who I am naturally.
And so they take me out of the back of the ambulance and they take me through the
door and I look around at the trauma staff is all looking at me and I said,
Hey, this is one way to beat the line.
Isn't it?
I started laughing.
It, although I was in a lot of pain.
And then I saw my friend, Bill Freehafer was sitting there and he gave me a big
thumbs up and then my direct supervisor, his name Steve wood.
And I looked at him and I said, Hey, Woody, how you doing?
He goes, man, I'm doing fine.
And he just started crying.
And that's the last I remember.
So last year, remember you passed out then or I was, I passed out later on.
So when they got me in the trauma bay, one of the trauma nurses, her
names, Madonna Stotsenberg, she said that I told her I wasn't going to die.
And she agreed with me.
So, so what they did was they immediately, they took me into surgery and the lead
surgeon was a guy named Dr.
Elias Seroca-Glu who is amazing.
There was another surgeon in there.
Her name was Dr.
Siotat who I still have never met, but she was a cardiothoracic surgeon.
So they get me in, they opened me up and they find the bleeder in my liver.
And that's what I've been told.
So they find that they find a bleeder in my liver.
During this time, apparently the shooter's friends had decided that they
were wanting to come to hospital and finish me off.
There was a credible, really?
Yeah.
There was a credible threat that they were going to come finish me off.
So we had, at that time we had, you know, Clay County Sheriff's
Department, everybody from air and marine operations.
There was guys actually in the, in the operating room with me, my guys
were in and Clay County Sheriff's Department were in the OR, ready, ready
to go, armed and ready to go to protect the staff and myself, which I still
think is pretty unbelievable that those guys did that.
I'll never be able to find that.
I don't know how to thank them.
So anyway, we go through surgery.
Number one, surgery.
Number one happens.
They think they got the liver.
They've got clips on my liver.
And so they, they, they stitched me back up and they bring me out in front of
this time there's several hundred people in the waiting room.
I didn't know I had that many friends.
And then I, I crashed, I died right there in front of them.
Something gave loose in my liver.
Oh, really?
Yeah. And I was gone.
And so they, they willed me back into the OR, open me back up and start again,
start to process all over again.
During that point, the lead surgeon, Dr.
Shrock-A-Glue comes out and tells my wife Amanda that I'm going to die.
And he's a, she's prepare herself because I'm gone.
Which was pretty, it was pretty devastating for her.
Obviously I was out, so I didn't, you know, I didn't, I don't, I didn't
know any of this till after the fact.
So it goes, but I'm going to go back in and do the surgery.
So it goes, but I'm going to go back in and try.
So he goes back in and for what I was told, one of the other trauma
surgeons called my time of death.
And he said no, and he kept working on my liver till he found a bleeder.
And he found it and well, there was all the prayers where there was,
I don't know what happened, but I can just tell you that it worked.
It was, it was pretty incredible.
He's a, he's a young surgeon that's got a thing for first responders or anybody.
I'm sure anybody gets the same treatment, but he just, he wasn't
going to let me die and he didn't obviously, he's just, he's just a good man.
So you went to cardiac arrest, they called your time of death and this
man refused to acknowledge either of those and kept fighting.
That's what I, that's from what I understand.
That's incredible.
That's the story that I was told that, that I was bleeding so much.
I went through 19 trauma units of blood, which is a lot.
I mean, as you know, a trauma unit, pine red blood cells, pine of blood cells,
pine of plasma, pine of blood, but all that is one trauma unit.
I went through 19.
It got to the point where I went through so much blood that they were, that they
were catching it and then putting it back into my body.
They actually went to a point and said, went to the waiting room and said,
Hey, we need blood and guys were standing there just like, take a, take all you want.
Pretty incredible that your friends would do that for you.
Those guys are pretty awesome, but it turns out that I didn't need it.
So then, you know, all the blood yet blood I have in my body now came from
other people, which is pretty cool.
That's when we talk about the brotherhood and the sisterhood.
I mean, there is no better example than the story you just told up to this point.
Yeah.
So, so the next day, so this was the night of September 26th, morning of September 27th.
They finally get me stabilized and, you know, it's touch and go at this point.
They don't know if I'm going to make it, but they at least get me
stabilized for the second time.
Hospital has a blood drive the next day.
The community raises 300 units of blood for the 19 that we had just taken out,
which is, which is spectacular.
You know, and I didn't know this until months later, but yeah, they, the community
came up and Jacksonville Orange Park, they put 300 units of blood back in the blood
bank, you know, because of my incident, which is just incredible.
Every time I think about it, it's just, people are just so generous, given the
fluids out of their own body is pretty amazing.
And that's who people really are.
Yeah, I agree that that's who people really are.
You know, you see, you see Facebook, that type of thing.
That's not, that's not real people, you know, people are generally good.
And I have, I have faith in mankind.
I really, really do.
So we go through, we get through those, those couple surgeries later on is when
they find that I'm, I'm actually going septic because that's when they found the,
the, the hole that was in my, in my rectum or my lower colon.
And so they had to go back in emergency of surgery again.
And this is Dr. Dr. Janine Jordan, she goes in and then has to fix that.
And then obviously, you know, they had to put a stoma in so that, so that I can heal.
So I remember I woke up around probably October 7th or eighth, sometime around
there.
So during that time I was out, I remember, I remember two things.
I remember, I remember coming conscious twice.
One is I remember opening my eyes and I knew I had all this, I knew what had
happened.
I was sedated, but I knew I'd been shot.
I knew I was in the hospital and I opened my eyes and I saw a guy shooting a gun.
Out of a gold window.
I saw that and I was, and I could hear something about shooting in Las Vegas.
And I passed out.
And then I've obviously after regaining consciousness, that was October 1st,
the day of the Las Vegas shooting 2016.
And then I remember one of my friends, this guy named Jeff,
Jeff Birch was sitting at the, I remember opening my eyes, I raised my head up and
I saw him cause they were standing guard at my door.
And so I looked over at him and he just, I lifted my head up and I squinted and I
looked and he just, he shot me the finger.
So, so I shot him the finger back and I just went down and then I guess he told
my parents, he's like, he's in there somewhere.
So he's there.
So they ended up bringing me, bringing me out of the coma sometime around October
6th, 7th, sometime around then is when they brought me out, but the damage was
pretty catastrophic up to that point.
I had, I'd had 10 surgeries just in, just in that short amount of time.
That's amazing.
I've had Dr.
Joseph Ibrahim, who was a trauma surgeon in Orlando.
And he responded to the pulse shootings.
And then I'm just about to have one from England that responds to a lot of the
knife and gun crime in London.
Those people are, are incredible.
And that's, that's our job as medics is there's only so much we can do for a
trauma patient that's so frustrating.
But the reality is like you were screaming at him.
We just got to get you there as soon as possible.
Right.
And that's exactly right.
And you know, the Orange Park Medical Center just, they're, to me, they're,
they're a world-class facility and they did fantastic.
They did, they did that day for some reason, everybody did everything right.
And I was allowed to live.
No, you were definitely meant to live.
There's no question about it.
I mean, those, those, they, everybody, they went, they went above and beyond to
save me.
There's, there's no doubt about it.
And, and I just, I can't thank them enough for their extra effort.
Yeah.
And it's crazy because you're telling the dates.
I was sitting here almost, almost a year exactly from, yeah, it's almost,
so it's almost a year later.
So yeah, I went through, I had a severe case of ICU delirium.
So I, I was actually going, I mean, I was going crazy when I was in the trauma ICU.
I was seeing things on TV that weren't happening.
I was, I was waking up thinking I was in different rooms.
At one point I woke up, I thought I was on a boat, but I could hear, that I could
hear the waves slapping to the side.
I actually heard, I'm talking about the CrossFit side of this.
I actually, at some point I woke up and I heard these people talking beside me.
The owner of my, I go to a gym called Blackfin CrossFit and the owner's name
is Mark Hoffman and his, his father-in-law's name is Jim Turner.
Is he related to Chris Hoffman? Yes.
The firefighter? It's his brother.
Yeah. That's my friend.
Yeah. I know Chris very well.
Yeah.
Ah, that's why Blackfin sounds familiar.
Yeah.
So, so anyway, so this is all hallucination I'm having, but I hear, I hear
Mark Hoffman and Jim Turner are going to, are going to repossess my car.
Cause I owe him $37.
And I'm hearing this and I'm like, so I've got this, I mean, I'm intubated.
I've got all this stuff going on and I'm sitting there and I'm laying and I'm
trying to talk and I'm like, no, no, these are real.
I'm like, no, no, these are fantastic people.
There's no way that this could ever happen.
And, and, and, and anyway, they go.
And then I told the story to Mark later and he just laughed.
I'm like, there's no way these two fine men are going to take somebody's car
for $37, but it's just one of the things.
And I don't know why that stuff pops in your head.
Who knows?
But it was, it was all a, it was all hallucination.
Uh, and they had told Amanda that they didn't know if I would come out of this,
this delirium or not, but I did.
Um, I was able to come out of it.
I just want to interject for a second.
So I'll interrupt you, but I'd never heard the word or the phrase ICU delirium
until literally a week ago, I got a friend of mine coming on.
Um, and she's a former firefighter paramedic.
She actually had a near death thing in a car crash.
She got rear ended by a truck where she was on I four.
Um, but she's an ICU nurse now and something we never think about.
So you're there.
Um, and you got all the lights pinging and all the monitors flashing in your
face and it again, we always talk about sleep.
It totally disrupts your sleep pattern.
Exactly.
That's one of the roots of the delirium.
Exactly.
That's exactly right.
So, um, you know, being in a medically induced coma, I had always thought you
come up from a coma hell you've been sleeping for two weeks.
You might as well be fine, but boy, that was not the case at all.
Uh, so when I got up, I mean, I had very little use of my arms, my legs.
Uh, I couldn't walk.
I couldn't eat.
I couldn't talk.
I had to relearn how to do all these things again.
Uh, it was very, it was very humbling experience.
Uh, but I was lucky.
Uh, you know, my wife, Amanda was there.
My mom was there.
My dad was there.
My grandfather, my uncle, my aunt, everybody was there.
And then all of my friends from work too, to push me along.
And it was pretty, uh, pretty, pretty amazing.
Um, to have all these people there, you know, and, and then I knew it's like,
all right, once I woke up and Amanda told me, I like said, knew I'd been shocked.
I didn't know.
I knew I got shot at Publix.
Uh, you know, so they woke me up there.
Like they asked me these questions or like, you know, do you know where you are?
I'm like, I'm in the hospital.
They said, which hospitals orange park medical center.
And I go, okay.
Um, where, uh, do you know what happened?
I said, I got shot.
They said, where did you get shot?
I said, in a Publix parking lot.
I go, okay.
And then I said, they said, uh, what month is it?
And I said, September.
And they went, aha, it's October.
I was like, well, how long have I been asleep?
That's not a fair question.
You know?
So, uh, so we went through that and then Amanda was telling
me what all was going on.
So, so when she was telling me about my injuries, uh, I was laying there
and I was like, all right, all right.
And then she goes, you're on a, so, you know, you're on a colostomy bag.
And I was like, I reached down and I felt it.
And I was like, man, that sucks.
But I was like, I'm alive.
I was like, okay, we'll, we'll deal with this.
And she goes, you'll have a reversal in six months.
And again, what she didn't, what she didn't bother telling me is that they didn't know
if I was going to have a reversal at all.
Uh, yeah, they didn't know if it would, if it get fixed, but she was like,
you'll be fine in six months.
We'll have it reversed.
You'll be good to go.
So again, those little things are morale boosters when you're going through
something traumatic like this and just that little bit of good news, you know,
although I was in bad shape and immediately I got to thinking, okay, I can do this.
So like, I got it.
I just got it.
You know, it sucks.
It happened, but I got to recover.
I got to get better.
So it did no point was I'm going to just lay around and start
feeling sorry for myself.
I just got to get better.
I'm going to start feeling sorry for myself.
I just, that wasn't an option and it hasn't been an option.
It's never going to be an option.
So I started right then and they're like, you know, in a couple of days,
it's probably mid October.
They're like, we got to get you out of bed.
I'm like, part of it, I was trying to leave and my delirium, I was like,
call my friend, Jim, tell him to fly a helicopter down here.
That will me out.
Just take me home.
You know, there's a, in one point Amanda goes, she goes, all right, you
know what, go ahead and get up.
And I, and I was like trying to sit up.
Shit.
I can't get up.
So, so, you know, she was, she was tough on me when I, when I needed to be tough.
And she was, she was mothering to me whenever it needed to be done, but she
was, she was absolutely amazing.
So it come to the point to where it was time for me to get up.
And my friend Ryan was there.
He gave, he came up from Orlando and he's like, all right, man, you got to do it.
You got to get up.
So I remember them.
I just couldn't believe in three weeks, how much I had lost.
I mean, to the point where I couldn't stand up.
My, my, my belly was very distended because my, my intestines were swollen.
So I had this gigantic belly and, uh, I was like, all right, we got to go.
And so I tried to get up and I couldn't get up and they had to help me stand up.
And that was a little bit demoralizing for me because I'm a, I'm a big, I'm a big guy.
I'm a big strong guy.
And I was, I was in the middle of atrophy at that point.
And for me not to be able to stand up or walk or do anything for myself, I was, I,
it was just, it took a little bit for me to just kick myself in the ass and get going.
Well, you had so much trauma to your lower extremities too.
I mean, just anatomically, it must've been extremely hard to, to will your body, to put
pressure on all these places that have been.
Yeah.
Shredded.
Yep.
That's exactly right.
So I, so I got up, you know, they, and they put me in that thing.
It's like a hand truck.
It's called a combo-izer, but to me it was like a hand truck and they were wheeling me
around in it and I'd had enough of that thing.
So the next day I got up and, and I walked around the other side of the bed and I sat
down in a chair and my friend, Brian Ferguson came and see me.
He's a Navy guy was in, he was in air marine operations with us who left and went to the
airlines, but he flew out and see me.
And then I was able to, and I was able to walk to the nursing station.
And then another day later, I was able to walk to the end of the nursing station.
And then I was able to walk over blocks a couple of days after that.
And then I was able to walk outside.
Yeah.
So it, it, it, it, and once it, once I started going, and this is where the whole
CrossFit thing comes in, I just kept going.
I mean, there was no, I was going to push myself because I didn't like for people
to have to do stuff for me.
I didn't like that at all.
So I wanted to do it for myself.
And that's when I started walking again.
One of the worst things I did was I had to go through a swallow test to be able to eat
because I liked to eat and again, this was, I was kind of in delirium at this time as
well, and I'll never forget Christy love, who's my nurse, the trauma nurse.
She, she was fantastic.
She tells a story.
I came back, I just felt my second swallow test.
So they were still feeding me via tube in my nose and I was irritated.
I was mad as I'm sure I must be horrible.
So they wheeled me back into trauma ICU and apparently I looked at her.
I said, you, you're the reason why I'm on cupcake restriction.
So I've wanted cupcakes for some reason, and I have no idea why,
because I'm not a big cupcake guy.
So during recovery, people keep bringing me cupcakes and donuts in the room.
I'm like, why are you guys bringing this stuff?
Cause I could claim that before.
Yeah.
So, uh, so anyway, so in my recovery, you know, I kept, you know, the, uh, the, uh,
rehab guys kept coming in rich, uh, rehab guy kept coming in every day, man.
They were pushing me and pushing me and pushing me.
And I got to the point where I was doing, while I was doing real well.
Uh, so I was supposed to be in the hospital for six months.
Uh, I transferred to the inpatient rehab on October 23rd.
So less than a month later, I was in inpatient rehab.
Wow.
And that's just that sheer determination.
That was determination of thinking.
So I get the rehab and, uh, they get the rehab and then they start the, uh, the,
uh, physical therapist, sorry, sorry, physical therapist, please cut all that,
cut all that, that brain fart out.
So I get to the physical therapist and I get to talk it to her and she's like,
and she's like, what's your background?
What's your physical fitness background?
It's like, I was a CrossFitter and she's like, me too.
I'm like, huh, this is going to be fun.
So she starts getting, and she, and she starts in with CrossFit style
rehab workouts right away.
Handstand pushups straight away.
Deadlifting doing all kinds of stuff.
No, but she, uh, she has me, they have the stairs in there.
Yeah.
So she's has me walking upstairs, walking downstairs, sitting down, sitting up,
sitting down, sitting up.
She has a, uh, and this is over the course of a couple of days.
She has me throwing a ball against the trampoline and catching it and doing,
you know, some squats, some air squat, you know, obviously I'm holding on the rails
cause I had, I'm not a very flexible guy to begin with.
I was even less flexible as a telephone pole at this point.
And, uh, but when she starts working on me and I talked to the trauma doc, I'm
like, I want to go home.
I want to go home.
And he said, uh, he said, if you work hard, you'll be home on Halloween.
And this is, I said, okay.
I said, you're wrong.
I said, I'll make this happen.
So, so during this time, I'll tell you kind of a funny story.
During this time I have, uh, so I'm on a colostomy bag and, uh, I start
having these feelings like I, like I got to poop, right?
So I started having these feelings and I, it, so I'm walking down the hall.
So I wanted to walk around.
They like, you need to walk around some to, uh, uh, you know, to keep things going.
I'm like, all right, so I'll get up and I'll walk around this.
I mean, I had all these monitors with me and I had the, uh, the wound
back on on my midline, so I had all this stuff with me and I'm like, man,
I feel like I gotta go, you know?
So I'm walking down the hall and then I see, I see one of the, one of the
doctors there and, uh, she comes walking down and I look at her.
I said, doc, I said, uh, I feel like I got to poop, but I'm on a colostomy bag.
She goes, she's just the sweetest voice.
She goes, it's okay, honey.
It's just a, it's just a sensation.
It'll go away.
So I went, all right.
So I'm clenched and crap my pants right there in front of her.
I went, huh, that was a hell of a sensation.
I turned around and, and I kind of, I've kind of feeling bad at this point.
So I go back, I get myself cleaned up and change a sit down.
I fall asleep in a bed.
I wake up the chief of trauma sitting there and I told him the story.
And he's like, once he picked himself up off the floor from laughing, he's like,
your colon is still making mucus and you got, you got to get rid of that.
And I'm like, thanks, you guys could have told me about that beforehand.
You know, it saved me a bit of embarrassment.
So, uh, but I try to look, you know, I try to make light of this stuff
and, and have fun with it because it happened and there's nothing I can do to
change it and, and maybe somebody else's that listens to this, however far down
the road will say, you know what, same thing happened to me.
Yeah.
I remember never to unclench when they're walking around.
That's exactly right.
So, uh, so I kept fighting in rehab.
I kept fighting and, uh, and I went home on Halloween.
So six weeks after shooting, uh, I was back here in this house.
That's amazing.
Now I want to just, just go back in time just for a moment, because I should have
really asked this before, but how did you initially get into Crossfix?
I know we're about to talk to that and talk about that.
So this was a 2012 September.
I was a fat, disgusting mess.
And, uh, I remember I was driving down the road and I could see my cheeks.
Out of my eyes, I could see how fat I was.
Now what happened, what had got you to that point?
Like where, where were you at your, your fittest?
Oh, I wasn't at my fittest then before then.
Yeah.
It was just, it was bad and it just continued to get worse.
Okay.
So I had gone through like some weight and some fat diet type stuff, and I like to
run, so I would actually run, you know, three or four miles, but it's still, I
mean, I was, my diet was, was crap and, uh, I was single at the time and I was
just, I was just eating like, like crap and it just, it just showed.
So I had, so I had had enough.
So I, so I looked for a CrossFit gym.
I was in a free, I was at the intersection of, uh, college drive and, and
two 20 County road, two 20 here in Clay County.
And, um, I, uh, I see black Finn CrossFit.
So I call and, uh, I don't get an answer.
And then I go back in with her and I, then I go in, I see them working out.
I see the door open, you know, it's cause it's got, got a big garage door.
I see the door open and I'm like, there's no way I can go in there with those people.
So I left and then I, then I called again.
I called Mark again and he's like, Hey, I told him, I was like, listen, I'm
a fat piece of crap and I need some help.
I said, I like to run, but, uh, I said, I'm really good at running, but I'm still,
I'm just overweight and he goes, he goes, come in, he goes, we'll do, uh,
we'll do an on-ramp and see what you like it and, and tell me what you think.
So we get in and then I do the, so my second day of, of on-ramp, um, I leave,
you know, on my way home, I puke in my truck going down the road.
I mean, all over the windshield, everything I can't pull over.
Do you remember what your first workout was?
Um, this one had something to do with like wall ball sit-ups.
So there's a lot of wall ball work.
You know, there's no weights or anything involved, but I was just, I was just so
out of shape that it just, it just, it just all came out.
I said, Mark attacks.
I'm like, I just puked all inside my truck.
He goes, he just, he responded with it'll get better.
I promise.
So, so, and it did, and it got better.
And I got to the point where I lost probably, I was probably
290 then, and I probably got down to about 225, 230.
Oh wow.
And for me,
Significantly, because you're a big guy anyway.
That's probably right.
For me, 225 is like, I've got a 30, I got a 34 inch waist if I'm at 225.
That's because I'm just a, I'm just a big dude.
Uh, so I get down and I'm, and I'm doing well and I'm starting to compete.
And I'm starting to, you know, go to, I remember cross, uh, competing at
CrossFit Pentacle down in, um, Diagonal Cala.
Um, I've done several, several competitions.
At this point, and I'm, at this time, I catch the bug.
I'm totally addicted to it.
And I just start getting better.
And then the CrossFit community is so, it's so supportive and so outstanding
that you go there and you start making friends.
And I like having friends that are, that are not, I love my work friends,
but also love my CrossFit friends and they don't necessarily intertwine all the time.
You know?
So, so it's, uh, it's, it's nice to have, you know, people that, that look,
look at the world through, uh, through a different present than you do.
Because it's to give you a whole lot different perspective.
And it really helped me during this, during this whole process of recovery
and getting better, having that family with me the whole time was,
was absolutely crucial.
So it was almost five years to the day, uh, when I started going to
Blackfin when I got shot.
Okay.
Yeah.
And that community is, is so important.
I did, like I said, before we started recording, I started CrossFit
about 10 years ago and it was some fun.
And in, in, uh, Anaheim that got me into it.
Um, but then when I moved over to Florida, I was just in the YMCA
doing it on my own, making mistakes, moving wrong.
Um, but then when I joined the gym a few years ago now,
an actual CrossFit gym, then I got the other part.
And that sense of community is so important.
And we talk about tribes and, you know, we have our tribe in our job.
You know, you have your crew, I have my station and, but having that other
group and finding a good CrossFit gym, you know, you want to have that group
that you actually feel a part of, but yeah, I mean, they're,
they're like a second family.
Right.
And my CrossFit gym was, was, was no different.
They, they, they are my other family.
There's no doubt about it.
Um, so for my injuries, uh, going back to that, the doctors told me once I got out,
they're like, you know, so I asked them part of the reasons why I lived and they
said, well, is your physical fitness had a huge amount to do with it?
Uh, cause my lats were so strong.
Cause I was, it was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,
cause I was, when I got shot, I was about two 70.
So I put the weight back on, but I was a different two 70 than I was two 90 before.
I mean, I was a very muscular man.
And, uh, you know, that muscle was able to slow that bullet down enough to
where it didn't, it wasn't able to tap my spine, you know, it stopped
about two millimeters short.
And then my heart was able to take, cause I was in such good cardio, uh, shape
that my heart was able to, to take the, uh, the loss of blood and, and keep the,
from that shock, it was able to keep going and be able to do just fine.
And they credit a lot of that to my, my cardio.
Yeah.
I've had several guests that have been through accidents, you know, trauma, and
every single one of them attributes them still being alive from that.
I mean, Matt Chan, the cross fair who's a firefighter as well.
He had basically a near fatal accident, just came kind of got thrown forward on
his bike and the seat went through, um, into the branch that comes immediately
off his femoral artery, but he's so muscular that it didn't actually penetrate.
Um, it didn't, didn't burst through the skin and, um, he survived, but any,
anyone that had not been in the condition that he was in would have bled
out and died right there.
Right.
And coach classmen says in CrossFit, you know, he says, yeah, you, you, you may,
you may get injured in CrossFit, but I'll tell you one place you're certainly
going to get injured and that's sitting on your couch, not doing anything.
And I certainly believe every word that he says of that and he's absolutely right.
Uh, yeah, it's a, it's a sport where you may get hurt.
Of course, any sport you're going to get hurt.
Uh, but, um, his words meant a lot to me whenever I heard them and to be able to,
uh, to, to know that all the things I've been through in CrossFit, all the pain
that I've been through making myself better, it saved my life.
And it was, it's all about the amount of effort that you put into it for sure.
All right.
So let's talk about your, your return to the gym post injury.
What, what were you able to do day one?
And then what was the progress after that?
So, um, I got out of the rehab on October 31st.
Uh, I was home for about a week and then, uh, I had some, some abdomen pain.
So they made me drink some, some barium fluid.
Turns out I had a fissure in my intestines.
So I was leaking.
And, um, so they put me back in a trauma ICU and the, the trauma doc says, Hey,
he goes, like, we got to have to do an endoscopy.
We got to figure out where this hole is.
And so they did the endoscopy.
They couldn't find anything in my stomach.
And it comes like, he said, listen, you're not going to be able to eat for two
weeks.
We're going to feed you through a pick line with TPN.
And I'm like, I look at him.
I said, that's funny.
I thought you just said I couldn't eat for two weeks.
You know how hard I worked so I can eat because yeah, you're not,
you're not eating for two weeks.
I'm like, so, and then you don't realize in this football season, you don't
remember, you don't even know how many, uh, Arby's we have the meats commercials
are on until you sit here for two weeks.
You never have them.
Yeah.
And I've said to her like, I've been, it says here's this tube.
I've got, I'm attached to me for 20 hours a day that they're feeding me through.
So I finally get through that.
And then, um, so the week before Thanksgiving, I'm able to, uh, I'm able
to start eating again.
So I go to actually go to Chili's with a whole bunch of, uh, of family
members and, and, and work folks.
And we, and I have my first beer then.
So I have like a half a beer and it's all I can, it's all I can get down, you
know, cause my stomach had strength, had shrank.
So it was the next week after that's when I started going back to CrossFit.
So I actually went back in December.
Uh, I started going to CrossFit and, uh, I walked it back into the doors of the gym.
It was just like being home again.
Um, it was outstanding and they, um, the coaches, when I would get there, they
would go through and they would, we would do the workout and then they would scale
every single movement for me.
Um, so I started, um, we had the assault bikes, so I would just get in and I'd
pedal the assault bike for 30 minutes.
And then I would take a five pound wall ball and I would just, uh, I would stand
up.
I wouldn't, I wasn't able to squat.
Well, I did do some squatting and then I got in trouble for it from the doctors.
But, uh, uh, I was able to throw the wall ball up and just do wall ball shots.
And then, um, then I did, uh, we had a 15 pound bar that we used for the CrossFit
kids classes.
And, uh, so I was able to do some cleans and do some overhead pushes with that.
And then whenever everybody was running, uh, you know, they do a 200, 400, 800
meter run, I would just walk out, do a, I'll walk a hundred meters while they were
gone.
I would walk out and walk back and, and I just, I just kept myself moving.
And then, uh, you know, eventually I was able to squat all the way down and get,
and get the wall ball.
And then I was able to, you know, I was able to clean 35 pounds.
I was able to clean 45 pounds.
And then I was able to do a little bit of dead lifting and then, um, uh, I'm a
big NASCAR guy.
So I go to, I go to speed weeks and while I'm at speed weeks, the trauma surgeon
calls and they said, we, we, we think you're going to be able to do that.
We think you're ready for your, for your colostomy reversal.
So I'm like, sweet.
So, uh, so just at the end of the day, 2,500, February 23rd, they scheduled me
for my stomach reversal.
And so I go through that process of the stomach reversal.
I was in the hospital for another eight days.
Uh, and that was one of the most painful procedures I've ever had in my life.
I couldn't believe how much it hurt.
Uh, so, but we go through it, we get through it.
So then I start recovering in March.
I'm like, all right, I'm starting to get better, starting to get better.
And then, uh, I go in, I really wanted to go back to work.
And I had went back to work on January 1st, the basically it's all January.
I went back for about three or four weeks on light duty in the office.
Uh, you know, which was, you know, you go around a bunch of alpha males.
Well, the colostomy bag and you can imagine what's going to happen.
So anything you can think happened did it was fun.
We had it, we had a good time.
They were, they were just, they were phenomenal to me.
My entire office was, they, they, they rolled out the red carpet for me.
While I was there.
But that was three months after being shot, you were back on light duty.
Yeah.
I was back in the office.
And they didn't, there's such a classy organization, you know, they didn't go
and say, okay, uh, you know, you gotta go sit and answer the phones or talk on
radios or do something.
They didn't do that.
They let me just integrate back into the office and do normal office work.
Just as I do any other day when I would go in, they didn't, they didn't make me
feel like where you're the guy that's hurt.
So you're the guy that's got to take the crappy jobs.
They did.
They never did that at one time.
They're just such a, such a, such a well-run organization.
It was, it was phenomenal.
I think a lot of agencies out there can learn from that.
I just put that in there.
I just, uh, I just can't tell you how much that helped me.
And it made me want to come back to work more and get back with, with my folks.
So I was able to, uh, uh, go back to work full-time on, uh, August 9th,
the trauma surgeons said, okay, you're good to go.
So I got to go back to work.
And at that time, that's whenever I was done with, uh, my outpatient rehab.
So I went to outpatient rehab.
I had maybe 70 trips to outpatient rehab.
My guy, Ronnie Acuna, who's phenomenal guy.
Um, you know, he knew I was a CrossFitter and every day he pushed me.
And eventually I got to the point when I can start driving myself
back and forth to rehab, I would leave rehab facility and go to the CrossFit gym.
And I would do both.
I would do rehab and CrossFit at the same time.
And Ronnie encouraged it.
And he was, uh, he, he helped me so much as far as like my movements and,
you know, getting me stretched back out and been able to do squats and my balance.
And, and he's just, he's just such a kind, gentle soul.
And he was exactly what I needed.
He pushed me, you know, if I, if I get, if I get tired, he'd be like, come on, man,
let's go, you got to go.
And it was just, he was just, he was, he was awesome.
He still is awesome.
Um, so eventually I got, I got, when they cleared me, go back to work.
I'm like, well, if I can go back to work, then I can go back to full-time CrossFit.
And they're like, do what you do.
He's like, just, just go be, you go, don't change anything.
You just keep doing what you're doing.
So they, they released me to go back to work.
And then, uh, so that's when I started going back into CrossFit.
And I was having some trouble running because of my midline scar, being like, I can, I can,
I can run more now.
And now I'm back to, at this point, now I'm, you know, six, seven months past that.
And I'm, I'm back to about 90% of where I was.
So I'm back to, I could deadlift like 435 pounds before.
And I'm at just south of a 400 deadlift again.
Um, and I'm within 20 pounds on my clean and jerk.
I just did my first pull-ups this week.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Which was, which was, which was huge.
I've Rx'd a couple of workouts.
I can do double unders again.
And, and it's, it's because they've pushed me at the CrossFit gym and, and I've kept
going.
I mean, I don't want to sound conceited, but I mean, I take myself to the gym.
I make myself go every day and I make myself do the workouts.
And it's just like, I feel like I'm almost back to the same guy I was September 26 at
one o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah.
I think that's something that I'm getting from this whole through line as well.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but, um, I feel like I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
sorry.
You obviously took your training seriously when you describe, and I want to explore
that a little bit more in a minute, but when you describe what you were thinking
after being shot, the weapons, say, you know, the, the, the, excuse me, the nozzle
direction.
I keep saying nozzle, muzzle.
It's the fireman in me.
The muzzle of the gun, the muzzle safety.
Yeah.
And, uh, you know, that, that motivation and that, that ownership of your training,
I think that does carry over in rehab too.
I've had some injuries, nothing even close to what you've been through.
But when you said the PT and the CrossFit, that was exactly me.
When I was off on Worms comp, it was CrossFit and PT and Cairo and anything
else you could do that would speed up the process and get you not, not only
better, but in, in my case, it was, it was, um, you know, injuries wasn't from,
from trauma like you had, um, you know, to fix the imbalances.
So you're even better when you return, you can see that that's exactly how
you were thinking too.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That that's exactly right.
And I had a, I had a lot of good people pushing me.
Um, my friend Mandy Thomas, who put us together, uh, she's a firefighter
out of St. John's County.
And I don't forget, uh, whenever she, uh, was in rehab, she came in and, uh,
she was still in fire school at the time.
And she came in and was talking to me, you know, pushing me to get back, you
know, doing the motivation thing.
And, but I was actually how fire school was going and she's like, Oh, I'm going
to ENT school right now and blah, blah, blah.
And I said, listen, you can pay attention to that.
I said, this is, this is probably the most important thing you're going to learn
is EMT and her, and her husband is a paramedic as well, and a firefighter
in Gainesville, uh, Brett, and they're just a fantastic, unbelievable couple.
And then Mandy and Brett came to my, uh, came to rehab almost every single day.
They did not almost, they did come every single day while I was in rehab.
And, uh, it was a huge motivation.
And then, uh, uh, black Finn did a, uh, so for my anniversary, I was actually
in firearms instructor school.
And, um, they actually did, but they did a workout where we, we raised some
money for the local sheriff's department.
And, um, when I was, when I was down, uh, my family started using the
hashtag hard to kill or a H2K.
Uh, so we had, uh, at which I didn't know, uh, we were, we were going to do a.
Hard to kill workout.
And so one of the local companies, our t-shirt company called stay the course,
uh, actually made t-shirts for us and donating them.
Uh, so everybody bought t-shirts and a hundred percent of the money.
Went to the clay County sheriff's department.
Uh, so we did the hard, we did the hard to kill workout.
So Mandy shows up at the workout and she does it in full bunker gear.
So this is the hard to kill workout is a mile run.
So the way Mark made it was you're just sailing through your day and then all
of a sudden you're served a crap sandwich.
So easy mile run, come back in.
Bam.
It was, uh, we did 75 burpee sandbag cleans at 75 pounds, 50 front squats
with a sandbag at 75 pounds, 75 wall balls with a 30 pound wall ball for
men, 20 pounds for girls.
Then back to 50, uh, sandbag, front squats, 75 burpee sandbag cleans again.
And then run a mile with the sandbag.
Uh, we did it as a partner.
There's no way I can do that.
It'd be hard for an elite athlete to do that workout.
So it's, so Mandy shows up, she knows the workout and she's in full bunker gear.
I'm like, Mandy, what are you doing?
It's so she's my partner.
This is in probably 90 plus degrees.
Oh yeah.
It was a Saturday morning.
We did actually on September 29th is when we did it.
And, uh, you know, it's a morning, you know, it's thousand percent humidity outside,
you know, one of those days.
So I'm like, well, if Mandy's going to do it in her bunker gear, I'm
going to put my kid on.
So I'll put my kid on and, uh, we did it.
Her and I did the workout together in like 78 minutes.
It was, it was, it was rough.
It was a long time grinding.
Yeah.
And we were grinding both doing it the hard time and she, uh, uh, I'm not sure if
you're a man or not, but she, uh, quitting is not in her vocabulary.
Yeah.
Well, I want to just make sure I say this.
Mandy, thank you so much.
Cause she reached out to me.
Um, I, you know, that's the sad thing is I didn't know your story well, because
every other day on my social media, I see another, you know, law enforcement
officer killed in the line of duty and then adding all the firefighters that we
lose and, you know, it's a constant cascade of, of, you know, tragic, tragic
losses.
So when she reached out and, uh, and told me a story, I mean, I was like,
you don't have to tell me twice.
This is incredible.
Um, but I want to say thank you so much because she was absolutely the one that
reached out and made this happen.
Yeah.
She's, she's a phenomenal person.
So her and I are actually, uh, uh, volunteering at a local high school as
well.
Uh, so I'm chairing the advisory board for criminal justice academy and I
brought Mandy in, uh, to help out because, uh, uh, I won't brag on Mandy a little
bit, fluent in Russian bachelor's degree in Russian has a, uh, uh, degree in
psychology, mom firefighter and still, uh, able to come volunteer at the high
school.
And I think that having Mandy there for these young girls to have as a role
model, I think it's just fantastic.
And I'm just so glad to have her and Brett, uh, as my friends.
But Drew, according to some people, women have no place in the fire.
Crossfire, Florida, Russia.
That's not my battle, but I'm telling you, she's tough and, uh, I'll put her
against most men on most days.
Amen to that.
That's my stance too.
Yeah.
She's, she's pretty amazing.
So, uh, yeah, it's been, uh, she's been a big, big part.
And then for us to be able to do this workout together, uh, was really, uh, was
really awesome.
So she was, uh, she, she pushed me the whole way.
I think I only almost passed out twice.
So it actually worked out really well, but, uh, uh, I don't know if we'll do it
again, but if we do, uh, um, maybe you and I should do it sometime.
I was going to say, let me know if you do it again, I'll come up and do it too.
Yeah.
I've done Murph in my gear before and it was awful.
Yeah.
Awful.
That was mid-midsummer.
Um, one more person I want to make, I make sure we talk about as well.
So Mark's brother, Chris, Reedy Creek, we lost a fireman a few years ago, Brian
Prince, and, um, Chris came down away from Clay County, brought a check from
Clay County's union, the benevolent, um, to donate to, to Brian's family where,
where we're doing the fundraiser for.
And this was all the way down, like way south of Orlando and Pope County,
where we did it.
So again, that to me, showed me what incredible brotherhood they do have
there to come several counties over just to show up and, and be present on that
and, and, you know, make a statement.
So clearly, Clay County is doing something very, very right.
And then, and then the Hoffman family, they're just, um, they're such wonderful
people that reach out, they do so much good for us in the gym.
Um, I just can't tell you how much I'm proud of them.
I just can't tell you how much I appreciate having them.
Um, HM and Melody was, uh, Mark and Chris's parents are just, uh, the
support they show, there's family bond they have is unbelievable.
And it's something we should, it's something that everybody should strive
to be like.
Yeah, you know what?
I've, I've forgotten.
I think, I believe that they actually did the workout at the blackfin as well.
I'm almost certain they did.
And I think they raised money there on top of what, what Chris brought down
from the fire department.
So I think they, they both sides, you know, contributed.
So thank you to everyone for that.
Yeah.
And I also like to just mention Amanda, my wife, uh, in this whole thing.
Uh, the reason why my story didn't make it, uh, into mainstream media, like
it normally, any one of these shootings, uh, they generally make it into the,
the mainstream media.
And the reason why mine didn't is because Amanda didn't want it.
Um, she didn't want the notoriety.
She didn't want, she wanted our privacy was number one and, uh, she didn't want
people crawling around the neighborhood, you know, looking for boohoo stories.
And I think she did a phenomenal job with that.
Um, the local clay county government was able to take our, our names off the
property roles and they, they never found us.
They never offended.
If they knew who I was, they never, they never put it out.
I can find you on the bloody GPS this morning.
Yeah.
So she, yeah.
So she, uh, she, she did a great job.
Uh, another part of the story that I haven't told you yet, and I'll circle back
to when I was actually laying on the ground is, uh, and maybe this is something
that, that especially first responders or somebody that may be listening to this
and something catastrophic happens.
I want you to think about is spousal notification.
To me, this is, this is a huge part of this story.
So in my, in my agency, we're very Navy centric, uh, agency or at least my office is,
I can say the agency, just my office.
And usually if something happens, the boss gets dressed up, goes,
notifies the spouse in person.
Well, it just, when, when the shooting happened and the nine one one call went out,
obviously all the new stations put it out in, uh, put it out as a news alert, you
know, federal agent shot Oakleaf publics the whole thing.
And so Amanda was at, uh, she works for Chili's and she was at one of her,
one of her restaurants over in Mandarin.
And she knew I was in publics cause I'd called her and told her I was going.
And so she gets an alert on her phone.
It says federal agent shot Oakleaf publics.
Well, how do you want to hear that?
No.
So she knew it was me.
She, she, she, she, or she, at least she, she was pretty sure it was me.
So, um, the, so our office did what we normally would do was boss gets
dressed up, goes to the house.
Amanda's not here.
You know, they don't know where she, they don't want to call her.
They want to notify her in person.
Well, she had already left and she was in such a state of shock that she just
started driving around Jacksonville.
And she didn't even come towards the hospital that I was in.
She ended up in a, at a Burger King parking lot.
Whenever somebody finally called her and said, where are you?
She's like, I don't know.
So they said, just pull over and tell us what's around you.
And then finally our guys went there and picked her up and brought her to the
hospital.
So if it's some somewhere where you can't control the information, you
know, maybe have a plan, you know, with your chain of command and how you want
your spouse or spouse significant other notified in case of emergency.
I, to me, that's a, that's a, that's a huge deal.
And it's a huge learning point for us.
And then I'll also do a plug for, for Chili's that she works for.
So while I was in the hospital, every day Chili's and also Mission
Barbecue showed up to bring food for however many people was there.
They were getting fed.
So the Mission Barbecue here in Orange Park and then Chili's in Orange Park
showed up with food every single day.
Chili's been an outstanding organization.
They, they, they gave Amanda all the time off that she needed with pay to, to,
to take care of me and, and to get me better.
And I thought that was, that was phenomenal of them to do that and take
care of their employees like that.
It's, it's little known how, how well this, this company treats their
employees, but, but they do a fantastic job.
Yeah.
And again, that's, that's humanity.
Yes.
It's the side that we want to hear.
We know that businesses, you know, they're not going to be able to
just make money.
We know there's some that are not so moral, but I love hearing that.
I think Publix have you've talked about a lot as well.
I saw a video of them sending trucks and trucks and trucks of supplies up
north for the hurricane victims.
Yeah.
And people will ask me, like, well, you're going to sue Publix?
No, I'm not suing Publix.
It's not Publix fault.
I got shot.
And I mean, why would I even, why would I even think of that?
They've been, you know, every time I walk into, so I went to Publix the day
after I got out of the hospital, that was the first place I went was to
this Oakleaf Publix where I got shot.
And it just so happened, just, I don't know how it happened, but I walked in
and then, because we didn't tell anybody we were going there and the fire station,
26 guys were there.
They were, as soon as I walked in the door, it was the same shift, the
Charlie shift, same one, same guys, same, I hobbled up to them.
I had a, I had a cane and, you know, I had my, my wound vac on and everything.
And I'm like, Hey, I'm Drew.
I'm the guy you saved out here at a parking lot.
And they just, they all gave me big hugs and then their bells went off and they
had to run out and could do something else.
So I didn't even get a chance to get a picture with them.
But yeah, they reminded me, I saw on, on Facebook, someone put a picture of,
I guess an undercover cop.
It was like a joke, but he had a t-shirt that said, not a cop.
It's definitely not a cop.
Yeah. That's all that too.
Yeah. So anyway, it's just been, the, the, the act of getting shot was terrible.
It was awful pain, awful experience, but man, everything I've learned and just,
just how much, how many good people there are on this planet has been such a,
that part of it has been such a wonderful experience.
And again, to be able to work for Air Marine who has been, they, they have been
phenomenal to me and my family through the entire process.
I can't thank them enough.
Along with all of customs and border protection.
I mean, they sent me cards from all around the country.
I mean, when I was recovering and I was able to sit down and start reading the
cards, there was some stuff I can't mention, but they were, they were, they
were some pretty funny stuff.
This is an R-rated show.
You can mention whatever you want.
Yeah, but not to my agency.
So no, they, they were very, they were very good.
Yeah.
Well, and that's, that's what I love hearing because, you know, part, some of
the things that we talk about in this are where the ball is dropped in some
agencies, you know, and, and trying to learn, not, not bitch and complain,
but say, here's the problem.
Here's the solution.
You know, here's maybe where we're forgetting the human elements in this
particular department, you know, to, to recapture that, but it's awesome
hearing, you know, your department seems like they did everything so well.
They did everything right.
So the, even right after I came out of the coma, Eddie Young is our guy,
who's our executive commissioner.
And so he came out and he came down and sat next to me.
The number one guy flew down from DC to sit next to me and say, Hey, we're
here for you and we're going to be here for you.
And my dad even asked him point blank and said, all right, in two weeks,
are you going to care about him?
He goes, we're going to be, we're there with them forever.
And, and, and I'll be damned if they haven't been, they have lived up to
their word.
He did that once I got home, the commissioner of customs, uh, uh, Kevin
McAleenan called me, uh, and he's like, Hey, just like, I just want to hear
your voice.
I just want to know you're okay.
Uh, so they, and they brought me to DC, uh, last week for a, an award called
the Invictus award or unconquerable.
So they actually flew me and Amanda up there and got to spend some time with
the commissioner and our leadership in headquarters and the rest of my family
came up as well.
And it was, it was, they just rolled out the red carpet for them.
And, and for me, for them just to be able to treat my family well, because
I'd, I'd been up there since and they've, they've been good to me, but being good
to my family was, was phenomenal.
And to be able to be up there with the commissioner, uh, uh, the governor
called, uh, Rick Scott called while I was in the hospital, talked to Amanda.
And then once I came out the coma, when I was in the trauma ICU, we called him
back and I talked to him on the phone for a while.
So it's just been an incredible experience with, with people, people
care about us, you know, and it doesn't get out as much as it should, but I'm
telling you that there's, there's a lot of good out there.
Yeah.
And I think it's to highlight something that they did very right, which I hear,
I've had a lot of conversations, people with the widows that, that, uh,
you know, everyone rallies around for the brother, sister that's fighting for
their life.
And then a lot of these terminal diseases, when they passed the widows say,
you know, like you were saying a month, two months, like your dad was pointing
out, are you still going to be here?
It's so important for us, whether it's someone injured, whether it's the family
of someone has passed away to keep checking up on them because they have all
this support and then in a bad scenario, they don't hear, and it's not anyone
being malicious. This is us not taking the time to go, I wonder if they're okay.
And just wrenching out them.
Yeah. And it's, uh, I mean that, that happens with us. I mean, they, they,
they still, they mean, are you, are you good? Are you okay? You know, if I, if I
was doing something else, if I happen to talk to somebody in DC or just at any
other office, we're like, Hey, how are you doing? How's your wife doing? How's
your family doing? You guys doing all right? How are you recovering? So, and
then, uh, and then air Marine has taken, um, taken the initiative to hire a, uh,
a PTSD doc to, for us to use. And, and that's, uh, I think it's, I think that's
huge to have that type of outlet that we can, that we can reach out to and, and,
and talk to someone if we need it. And it's, it's no questions asked. If you
need it, you got it. Yeah. Yeah. And again, so they hired them. So obviously
they're very familiar with you guys, your career. Right. So there's no
surprises when you're showing up. Right. And it's a, and she, uh, and she
specializes in first responder, uh, PTSD as well. Yeah. Sounds like we could
learn a lot from your agency. They do. They do. Uh, uh, they get this right.
There's no doubt about it. They're very concerned about us and her and her and
they recognize that mental health is a, is a huge part of it. And, uh, and I, I,
I'm telling you, man, I James, I feel great. I really do. I feel great. Um, I
mean, I've still got a little bit of pain, but mentally I feel fantastic. I'm
very much at peace with what happened. Uh, it happened. There's nothing I can do
to change it. I didn't want it to happen, but, uh, it's, you know, we've got to
move forward. That's the only thing I can do. I can't sit there and worry
about that. No, no. I got it. I got it. I got to keep going, keep going and keep
moving forward. Yeah. And that's what's, uh, you know, it's an honor to sit
across from you and talk to some of the other people, Rob Jones and some of these
people that have been through trauma, lost limbs, um, or, you know, in your
case, obviously, you know, the trauma that you had internally and then just be
like, all right, this is, this has happened and then we'll talk about it in a
minute, but now how I'm going to turn this into a project that's going to do
even more good. But I want to discuss that one more thing that before I forget,
you mentioned, um, you know, the star training, clearly you fell back on your
level of training, which is something we talk about a lot, just kind of paint
the picture of what, what was your training like? How, how did you prepare?
You know, were you, were you well versed in training for the worst case scenario?
I would say yes. Uh, I was, I was well prepared. Um, I was mentally prepared.
Something may happen to me at some point. I realized not all cops are not
everybody, you know, there's a lot of this can never happen to me and
complacency and that type of thing. I was aware that this could happen to me. I
just didn't, I didn't think it would, but it did. Uh, so when we do our training
out in Oklahoma city, first day is medical training. And that's what they
do is they put us in the medical scenarios and, and with the tourniquets
and, you know, evacuating people out there because we're at aviation. So we,
you know, airplanes on fire, you got to evacuate people out of it, or you just
crashed a helicopter or something like that. And then you have, or you walk up
on somebody and they have these catastrophic injuries. And so they, they
put us through this training of how to stop blood, how to put a tourniquet on,
how to do basic stuff until the professionals can arrive. And, uh, and
that's a huge part of it. And that's just, that's one day of the course, the
medical part. Uh, we also do water survival. Uh, we do active shooter
training while we're there. We do some legal training. So that, that's all one
part of course, but get into the, uh, we do land survival as well. And then to
do, uh, the, but this part, I, it's near and dear to my heart, obviously, the,
the medical part, and then the, the preaching, the will to survive, you've
got to have that will to survive. To me, that's just, that's huge. And, uh,
that's huge. Cause if you think, I guarantee you, if I thought I was going
to die in that parking lot, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now.
There's no question. If I, if I, if I would have just rolled over and said,
I'm dead. Yeah. Yeah. Well, also what, what, you know, rang true to me when
you were telling that story is the whole time you just been hit, you were lying
there, you didn't go into victim mode. You were still in, let me engage the
target or does he have another person, you know, and that, that again, if, if
you hadn't trained the way you train, you would have, you know, just succumb
right there. And what if he had been the guy walking over, you would have taken
him out before he, you know, when he came around that truck. And I think that
is such a powerful lesson for all of us listening is if you're complacent,
that's ironic. I just put a post on this today on social media. When the shit
hits the fan, there's no hiding then. And it's too late. Right. Yeah. Cause
you know, whenever it hit the fan for me, uh, I was in the middle of a
parking lot. I couldn't go to concealment. I couldn't go to cover.
There was no, there was, there was nothing there. I mean, it was, it was
just, it was, it was instantaneous. Um, I've had a lot of people ask me about,
you know, why do you put a cover shirt on that type of thing? And again, it's
just, I mean, I'm in a nice area of Jacksonville and this is very, very
poor law enforcement, very pro military, you know, it just never even, it just
never even dawned on me to do it. I mean, it's just, we just don't have these
types of issues that happen here. And so I just didn't, so I just didn't think
about it. And then I'll get asked about the vest, uh, not having a vest on. And
my response to that is, is obviously we should wear our vests. I'm not saying we
should never wear a vest. We should wear a vest. Uh, the, again, this was an
administrative function that I was doing. Um, but here's the way I see it is that
had I had my vest on, so it didn't hit me anywhere. My vest covered for one.
Um, and let's say the bullet may have called the vest here on my upper right
side, but you know, if that would happen, what if the bullet would have tumbled?
You know, what if it went through my lungs and my heart, you know, that type
of thing. So I kind of think about that. And then, uh, the other thing is a
shoulder holster. I haven't wore a shoulder holster since that day and I'll
never wear one again. Um, if I'd had a waist rig on and I thought about that as
well, but then you think about, you know, what if that first bullet would have
hit my breakthrough artery? What if I would have missed shooting him? Cause I
think I could have got the gun out. Yeah. What if I'd have missed him and hit the
guy sitting in his van on the other side of the parking lot with a 40 caliber
hollow point, you know? So the way I kind of see this is this, this worked out the
way it was supposed to the bad guys dead. I'm here. Uh, nobody else got hurt.
Um, I, you know, I've got some, I've got some scarring. I got a little bit of
pain, but you know, big deal. Who cares? I'm, I'm, I'm going forward with life.
So this thing worked. He was, he was going to kill a cop that day and he was
unable to kill a state trooper. You know, he may, he may have walked up on the guy
doing paperwork and just like Jesse Hartnett was shot and put, and put
bullets through a window, which I think is what he would have done. You know, so
he didn't get a, he didn't get a Florida highway patrol guy. He didn't get a, uh,
Clay County Sheriff's department. He didn't, you know, he did all these other
ones are Jacksonville Sheriff's office. He did, he got me, you know, he got me and,
uh, and I was able to take it. I was able to take the five and, uh, if I got to
take five again for my brothers, I will, I don't want to, it sucked, but I'll
certainly do it. Um, it's not an experience I ever want to have again, but
if it comes to protecting them, then that's what I got to do. Yeah. And I
know there's funny people talk about, you know, wearing a vest, not, not showing
that you're, uh, law enforcement. That's the wrong focus. The focus is how the
hell do we stop these innocent little toddlers that giggle around and chase
balls around a garden, turning into these shit bag gang bangers. That's what
we've got to fix. That's, that's exactly right. I think you're right on there.
And part of this, people ask me, you know, what have you changed? I said,
I haven't changed anything. Uh, he's not changing me. He's just not, it's just
not going to change me. I'm going to be the same guy that I was. Um, it's just
going to be the way it is. The way I feel about it is if I, if I change, he
wins and I'm not letting him win. Um, I think going, going forward, you know,
we've got to, we've got to figure out how to get kids not to want to kill cops.
That's what we thought that that's what we've got to do is figure that out.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I was talking to somebody that I think it was in an
interview. Um, I grew up loving hip hop, you know, and rap, but it's kind of
ironic that the one guy that sang fuck the police now plays a policeman on TV
and movies guy that sang cop killer plays a policeman on TV. So, you know, you,
you, if you, if you're going to allow people to, to promote that and then, you
know, obviously do the polar opposite when it comes to being offered money and
realizing that's just empty rhetoric anyway, that's the mentality we need to
change the video games. I had Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman on twice now.
Absolutely right. You know, grand theft or you're running around murdering police
officers and prostitutes. You know, these horror movies that talk about that is a
part. If we're entertained by a cabin full of teenagers being murdered and mutilated,
maybe we need to take a step back and look at what, you know, what we classify
as entertainment. Yeah, I totally agree. And then you think of, you know, these
kids, they, they, they play the video games and then they think, well, I'll go
and I'll commit suicide. What am I going to do? I'm just going to respond somewhere
else. And it just doesn't work that way. Um, you know, and it's, uh, and it's a
problem and I'm hoping, I was talking to you about this before, I'm hoping to
eventually start a foundation. If I could figure out how to do it right now, I'm
just in the brainstorming mode of either, uh, you know, hard to kill foundation or
H2K foundation probably would be a more appropriate name for it. Um, and that's
to, and that's to help, um, PTSD with, with, uh, cops, firefighters, uh, and
trauma docs, trauma nurses, and even at risk teens, you know, if, if parents can,
can identify this and then have a retreat, uh, that we have a funding
source for, there's lots of retreats out there with, with, uh, clinical help where
we can send them out, send kids out there and send cops, firefighters, like I said,
and, and the, I think trauma docs and nurses are, have been left out of this.
And then they need to very much be a part of it and, and get them some help. Um,
and, uh, I think that's probably the reason why I was left here and I've got
to figure out how to get this thing started and, um, and get some funding and,
and get some help for, for people that need it. Yeah. Well, I do, and you're
going to join a long list of guests that I've had that have given so much in the
service and then something happens, whether it's just retirement, whether
it's injury, and they immediately turn around and go, how can I use this as, as
a way of doing even more serving even more. So I don't think you're going to
have any problems getting that off the ground. I think it's a great idea. And I
think the mentorship of, of the youth is how we fix it. I mean, I've seen
Lamone and I's martial arts change kids' lives. I've watched, uh, Pat Russo, he's,
um, got a boxing club, NYPD started, and they've, you know, just turned around
these street kids and made them successful in school, successful in the
ring. And that's what we have to do. And we need, we need mentors instead of
pigeonholing each other and playing the blame game. And you highlighted
perfectly, why don't you sue Publix? Let's get rid of that whole lawsuit
mentality. No need to, no, and just start taking care of each other and
raising our children. And right. And so that's one reason why I started
volunteering at a local high school at Clay High was because, uh, I want to, I
mean, it's a put up, just put up or shut up. I could sit here and say whatever I
want, but it's better what I do. So being, being able to go to that school and
stand in front of those kids and talk to them and have them ask me questions or
just go in and sit in there and hang it out with them or, or during the day with
their, uh, with, you know, with their teachers and just being able to sit
there and say, Hey, you know, Mr. Stokes, maybe I got a, I got a problem. How can
I do this or how can I do that? And, and, um, the, the, that's the way, just the
way the Academy set up and I could go in there and talk to them and, uh, and, and
be a mentor to them. And also Jake Hawkins, uh, he, he actually goes down
there with me too. He actually went to the high school. That's where he
graduated from. So him and Mandy are both climbing down and, and, uh, and
helping mentor these young kids. And I think that's the way forward, uh,
especially with the, like I said, with Mandy and the young girls. I mean,
whenever, you know, she's 35 years old and tells her story to these 18 year
old, 17, 18 year old girls, and they're just enamored with her. Hey, this, and
she's such a good role model. So that's, I think that's how we go forward is, is
it's going to take, it's going to take our generation to reach down and say,
listen, you know, lean on us for help. We'll, we'll, we'll help you guys.
Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing. If you think that we all started as these
innocent preschoolers stop that middle part where, where they go down the wrong
part. And then like you said, if, if we've all seen the houses there, they
are out there where you look at them and like, these kids don't stand a chance.
That's when that local community needs to step up. And I actually, as we're
sitting here, um, tomorrow's guest is going to be Steve O'Michael, who grew up
in a horrible part of Orlando, right next to where my station used to be, um,
came out of that ended up in university in Colorado and then went back, became a
firefighter, um, and then serves that same community that he grew up in. And
it's like, it looks like, you know, third world country in there. And that's it.
Is it, if you're a member of that community and you've come up and you've
come out the right way, then understand that you have a duty now to, to fix the
rest, whether you're an athlete or, uh, you know, a rap star, whatever it is, you
can either be an egotistical shit bag where you can actually truly help the
hood that you are from.
Yeah, I agree. I agree. And the shooter for me was, uh, he lived in this
neighborhood, you know, that's, I mean, he was a well off Caucasian kid, you
know, who just lost his damn mind. Yeah. It's, it's sad. It's unfortunate for,
it's unfortunate for him. It's unfortunate for his family that this
happened. So, yeah.
All right. Well, I want to transition to some closing questions because we've
been chatting for coming up on almost two hours. So it's been a hell of a
conversation. I hope people are still listening. No, no, I'm sure they are. I'm
telling you that they're transfixed. Um, so the first one I love to, to ask
people, is there a book that you love to recommend can be about the general topic
we've talked about or something completely different? Um, I read Jocko
Willick's book, uh, extreme leadership. I think that's a, that's unbelievably
well written and, uh, Jocko's is such a, such a sharp guy. And also there's a
book called Out of Captivity, uh, that was written about some contractors that
were captured in Columbia. Uh, and they were, they were held captive for like
five years and to hear their stories was just, uh, just unbelievable. And
actually, uh, during that mission, I actually flew on their missions, their
rescue missions in the beginning days after their airplane crash. So that's,
uh, when it comes to survival and that type of thing, Out of Captivity is a
fantastic book to read. Oh, wow. And you, you, so when they first crashed, you
guys are looking to, it's the same ones that five years later were finally.
That's, yeah, that's correct. Okay. How were they released? I don't want to be
the, you know, the, the cliffhanger, but, uh, it was, uh, eventually the
Colombian government, I was, I was able to, was able to rescue them. So it was an
airplane crash in Columbia and they got, they got captured by the local guerrillas.
Okay. And what about a movie and or documentary?
Movie. I mean, Forrest Gump's my favorite movie of all time because it's just, uh,
if it comes on, I just can't, uh, I just, I just can't stop watching it. Uh, and,
and, uh, you know, like Narcos and I'm such a student of, uh, I'm such a student
of drug smuggling. Uh, just, I, I soak it all in and I learn about it. And, uh,
so when it comes to the documentaries, you know, stuff like drugs incorporated
and things like that, I study those things. Right. Um, on a side note, um,
God, I'm just going to have to cut this bit out. I'm sure I remember his name now.
Sam. So there's an author, Sam Quinones, who wrote a book called Dreamland. And
it talks about the specific, and I forget the name of it now, but specific town in,
uh, Mexico and how they started going to the lesser known cities and bringing,
uh, black tar heroin. So they were having, they were getting addicts that were
initially on pain pills. Then the government changed their stance on it.
The pill mills went away. And so they started coming in and doing it, but it was all from
this one small town. It was a fascinating interview, but I'm sure that's something
that you're probably very familiar with. Yeah. Not that in particular, but I'd like
to learn about it for sure. Yeah. Great book. He writes it very, very well. It's
Dreamland was a giant pool in Ohio that started off as this kind of idyllic place in the
fifties, sixties, I think it was. And then now you see the kind of the town fall apart
and the addiction come in. And then the connection between that town is tiny town in Mexico.
But there is one other book I want to mention, and it has nothing to do with any of the topics
we've talked about, which I recommend. And the name of it is called the art of racing
in the rain. And it's a book I'm a, I'm an animal lover. And so we have three dogs
and the book is written about a dog's life from the point of view of the dog. So the
dog wrote the book from start to finish. Anyway, it's if you're a dog lover and especially if
you've maybe lost an animal recently or something like that, it's a phenomenal read, phenomenal
read the art of racing in the rain. I've never heard that recommended before. So I will add
that. Thank you so much. It's a, I think my wife read it in one night. So I remember up in bed,
she's had tears in her eyes. So yeah, so it's a, it's a wonderful book. Excellent. All right.
The next question, is there a guest that you would recommend to come on this podcast to talk to the
first responders, military ER nurses and doctors that we have listening to the show?
I mean, I would love for obviously for Mandy and Brett to talk about what it's like to be a
firefighter family to both of them being firefighters and trying to raise two kids in the
in the, in the massive effort that that takes. I think that would having those, those two on board
would be phenomenal. I'm not sure I mean, husband, wife, firefighters that work for two different
cities or two different counties are out there, but I think that would be a pretty good interview
for you. Some of the, some of the trauma docs and nurses at Orange Park Medical Center,
I'd be interested to hear their point of view, not just for my story, but for,
for lots of stories and just working in the ER and working in trauma as a whole.
Yeah, no, I agree. That's, that's, that's the thing we talk about.
Traumatic injuries, whether it's from car wrecks or violent crime. And again, those are the,
those are the heroes of that. Like we can reverse, you know, diabetes and stop a heart attack and
bring someone back from cardiac arrest. But when it comes to trauma, it's pretty much transport
just to the experts. They're going to cut them open. Yeah. Just like whenever we had a party,
a man and I threw a party for all the, for everybody who helped in my recovery at Intuition
Health Works here in Jacksonville. And I was able to bring most of the trauma staff up there.
Unfortunately, Dr. Shrock-Luke had made it, the rest of them. And if, if, if someone's listening
and you guys are in the medical field, doctors, nurses, I appreciate the path that they took.
It's a hard, that's a hard, hard path, a long, hard path to get through. And, and I really,
really appreciate people that do things that are hard and, and they work their butts off as,
and they basically lose their entire twenties for probably most of the, the most funnest part of
their life. They've, they've put on hold specifically so they can go save people's lives. And, and I
really appreciate that. And I understand that. And I couldn't be more thankful for those folks. And
the sacrifices that they've made personally, financially, they sacrificed everything to go,
to eventually save someone's life. And I think that needs to be,
people don't understand how hard it is to be a doctor, to be a physician. It's a very hard,
very, very hard path. And to choose that path and to do well at it is not easy. And I just,
I can't thank them enough. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've always said, you know, all those professions,
you know, if you save just one life in your whole career, you know, 20, 30, 40 years,
it was worth it. Everything else is a bonus. And to sit across from you and know that everyone
involved in that whole chain of your survival did just that, it is incredible. Yeah. And my
recovery, survival and recovery, it's just been, you know, I don't know why I'm so lucky, James.
I have no idea. I don't, anyway, I'm here and I'm going to make the best of it. Yeah. Well,
I'm looking forward to the Hard to Kill H2K project. I think that's going to be very, very good. So
we'll talk about in a moment how people can reach out if they want to help you with that.
One last thing before we do that, what do you do to decompress when you're not cross fitting and
removing your colostomy bag? I don't have it anymore. I'm good to go. I'm in, I'm a big
NASCAR fan. So I go to races. I usually get all speed weeks in Daytona. So I enjoy going down
there for that. I have a motorcycle, so I do a lot of Enduro riding. I like to ride off road,
on road. We have, I mean, I have a camper. We go camping, we go to a lot of live music and that
type of things, festivals. And then we like to travel as well, as much as we can. My wife is on
the board of directors for a no kill animal shelter. And so we volunteer some time for that as well,
taking care of the animals and visiting families, just like everybody else. You know, I like to do
same things everybody else does, but usually it comes out to me, you know, usually camping,
riding a motorcycle. I love to fly, although I'm not a pilot. I've never, for some reason,
I've never gotten my pilot's license. I've always wanted it. I just, I guess because I fly in
airplanes for a living. I just, I like to fly. Sometimes if somebody goes recreational flying
and invites me along, I'll go. So that's, that's generally, that's what we do. Besides that,
like I said, every day I go to work and I go to, I go to Blackfan and I come home and just
wash, rinse, lather, repeat, you know. Brilliant. All right. Well then the most important thing
then, so let's, let's try and help you get this H2K project off the, off the floor. So if people
are listening, want to reach out to you, what would be the best avenue of communication?
Wow. For right now, if I didn't know where we were going to do this, I would have,
I would have made a Gmail account. But right now just send me an email. It's skyfuzz at gmail.com
and then we'll see if I can, I can get another, another email. It's a very English word fuzz.
Yeah. It's kind of like a flying cop type thing. So yeah, that'd be the, that'd be the first way.
Like I said, I don't know the legal part of setting up a, some sort of a, you know, 501C,
C3, I guess. And then the accounting part of it. And I just don't, I just don't, I don't, I have
the idea and I just don't know. I just need guidance on getting it in the, headed in the
right direction. Yeah. I'm sure, I'm sure there's people out there listening that can, can give you
advice. I mean, I know, I know some people that have, have gone down the pure charity road and,
and said, you know, there's some barriers as far as expenses and things, but I think with what
you're trying to do and I can reach out to some of the people that already have, you know, similar
platforms that maybe can, can help as well. So, right. Yeah. And like, like I said, I know,
I know nothing about this. You know, it is, it is no money for me. I would never even take a dime
from it. It would all go, every, every single dollar would go towards, towards helping people
that need help. I don't, I don't need money. So it's not, it's not about, it's just, it's just
about helping other people. Brilliant. Well, I looked forward to seeing that project grow and
helping promote it when it's off the ground. Thank you. Yeah. And design, you know, somewhere
in it's my desire to design a logo. I mean, I can think of all these things I need help with.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, actually I know one guy who just reached out to me to see if, if I needed any help
with this. And he just came out of a radio school. I think it was. So I'm sure the whole design,
social media thing is his forte too. So we could see if he's interested when things are rolling a
little bit. Awesome. Thank you. All right. Well, thank you. So I just want to say an amazing story.
It's an honor to be sitting across from you. It's an honor to tell the story for everyone else that
was involved in that journey. Like you said, that took part in saving your life and putting you back
on, on the streets, you know, where you belong. And yeah. Just thank you for having the courage
to tell the story and let me into your home to listen to it. Yeah, no problem. It, it helps me
to talk about it. And I'll talk about it as long as somebody will listen, I'll talk cause it helps me.