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This episode is sponsored by Transcend, a veteran owned and operated performance optimization company that I introduced recently as a sponsor on this show.

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Well, since then, I have actually been using my products and I've had incredible success.

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There was initial blood work that was extremely detailed, and based on that, they offered supplementation.

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So I began taking DHEA, BPC157 for inflammation, based on the fact that I've been a stump man and martial artist and a firefighter my whole life, lots of aches and pains,

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dihexer to help cognition after multiple punches to the head and shift work and peptides.

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Four months later, they did a detailed blood work again, and I was actually able to taper off two of the peptides because my body had responded so well to just one of them that it was optimized at that point.

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So I cannot speak highly enough of the immense range of supplementation that they offer, whether it's male health, female health, peptides to boost your own testosterone, which I would argue is needed by a lot of the fire service,

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or whether it's exogenous testosterone needed, especially after TBIs or advanced age.

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Now, as I mentioned before, the other side of this company is an altruistic arm called the Transcend Foundation,

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which is putting veterans and first responders through some of their protocols free of charge.

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Now, Transcend are also offering you the audience 10% off their protocols, and you can find that on jamesgearing.com under the products tab.

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And if you want to hear more about Transcend and their story, listen to episode 808 with the founder Ernie Colling, or go to transcendcompany.com.

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Welcome to the Behind the Shield podcast. As always, my name is James Gearing, and this weekend is my absolute honor to welcome back onto the show,

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Recon Marine actor, martial artist and TV personality, Rudy Reyes.

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Now, if you haven't heard my first episode with Rudy, which was 638, I highly recommend you listen to that first.

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He takes an incredibly vulnerable deep dive into his early life, the childhood trauma that molded him, his time in the Marines, his transition into screen, and so much more.

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In the second conversation, though, we reconvene because the Marine community has been experiencing horrendous suicides, just as the first responder professions have.

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So we really dive into the suicide crisis, what we should be talking about when it comes to mental health, especially amongst men, hormonal disruption, the power of peptides, emotional TCCC, the importance of tribe, and so much more.

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Now, before we get to this incredible conversation, as I say every week, please just take a moment.

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Go to whichever app you listen to this on, subscribe to the show, leave feedback, and leave a rating.

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Every single five star rating truly does elevate this podcast, therefore making it easier for others to find.

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And this is a free library of almost a thousand episodes now.

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So all I ask in return is that you help share these incredible men and women stories so I can get them to everyone.

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So with that being said, I welcome back onto the show Rudy Reyes. Enjoy.

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Well, the truth is, I am with CAA now.

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I have a really big agent and agency, which is giving me other opportunities for branding and such.

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And I have the support now to actually bring to fruition a mind, body, spirit health program and strength program.

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And the thing is, I've always been living it, but to create a product that can empower people that are of the highest quality and all the back end stuff, the fulfillment, all of that stuff is much more difficult than you would imagine.

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And it took till now to have the right team.

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So I imagine in the future, and we don't have to bring it, actually we might bring it up, I imagine this.

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Brain, body, sleep.

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So something for our brain, because I have the, I take this stuff called thesis, which is trace minerals and mushrooms with one or two cups of coffee.

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I no longer need four cups of coffee or want them.

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Brain is activated, feeling great. And then something for body, NACs, trace minerals and branched-chain amino acids.

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And then sleep, I take melatonin every night.

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Why am I not building my own things with the best people in the world to bring those simple products that I use every day that have helped me with my mental, physical and spiritual health?

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So that's what I see down the road. You get what I'm saying?

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Yeah, absolutely. We'll talk about it too. Because I wanted to, last time we talked about peptides too, and I want to kind of get into that.

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Oh, I'm on it. I'm on it, brother.

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I got some tendonitis from doing such hard work on this last one in Wales.

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And we did two seasons back to back and I'm still battling it.

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And in general, our body keeps score.

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So I've had to get more creative with my training and do different things.

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So yeah, we'll get into all of it, brother. We'll get into the real, true health.

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And I'm kind of, did we already hit record?

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Yeah, we're recording.

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Okay, great.

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I'm hearing the term mental health bandied around too much.

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And bandied around as an excuse or as a get out of jail free card.

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That takes away all of the gravitas, the hard work that people put into their health, mind, body and spirit.

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It also, I believe, makes smaller trauma and pain to those who are going through it.

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If the term mental health means that I don't want to show up as my best or I can put that down as not putting effort to show up as my best with what I got,

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then we need to change that conversation.

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We need to change that conversation.

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Just as we work on our physical fitness, just as we work on our prayer and how we commune with God and how we touch into the spirit and source,

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the same kind of reverence, training and insight needs to be put on how we think in here and how we process in here

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and where we put both successes and failures and how we deal with scar tissue of trauma.

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That needs to be talked about, not just, oh, I'm taking a mental health day or, hey, I'm backing off.

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Hey, I sold my soul for a movie deal and a modeling deal and I've been and the nature of it is sexual.

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And now that I've signed the deal, now I don't want to do it.

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So it's my mental health.

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No, no, no, no. This is a gestalt thing that we need to be working and getting deep with and getting passionate about every day.

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That means we don't sell our souls and then fall back on mental health.

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No, we attack it from the beginning. You see, go ahead, brother. Go ahead.

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Please share anything that is on your mind right now.

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Yeah, no, that's a great way to start.

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Actually, I want to unpack some of the elements I think contribute to literally the way that we think,

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whether we think is, like you said, dismissive or a victim mentality or obviously the actual contributing factors to the perfect storm

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that leads to overdose and suicide and some of the things that we're seeing.

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Before we dive into that, though, I've seen a lot of the the Marsau community just broken hearted with a lot of kind of, you know, suicides close together at the moment.

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So talk to me about, you know, your community and what are you seeing, you know, broad strokes at the moment?

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Well, it first starts with the incredible selection process and the emotional and physical and the emotional and physical taxing it takes to to get into our community and to be a professional warrior.

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To be a professional warrior means that you also must be a killer.

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You must be a killer, of course, a lifesaver, too, but you must be a killer.

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And that takes a lot to do that, because for many of us, it is not in our nature.

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There's not many sociopaths or psychopaths in the special operations community because those dark aspects of human psychology do not lend themselves with working together as a team.

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And ultimately, through selection and through training and through hardcore combat, it is a sense of love for one another, a sense of pure love for one another that we are able to do extraordinary things.

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And that extraordinary becomes our commonplace. So sociopaths and psychopaths, they have a difficult time finding and expressing love.

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That being said, it seems that after service and honing yourself on that razor's edge, just physically, James, for me to be my best when I was at the unit, I was running probably 60 to 80 miles a week, swimming.

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Swimming at least five to eight miles a week, lifting weights and martial arts.

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And that's just baseline on top of the work, which is helicopter insertion, extractions, wet inserts, hardcore training operations in the mountains of California and in Tahoe, very difficult swamp and jungle patrolling in southern Louisiana all over.

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That requires everything from you, everything from you. So what do you do? You compartmentalize anything that has to do with your loved ones or relationships with family, because this is your family now, it must be there.

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Also, the damage it does to the physiology and the nervous system when you're young, you don't notice it as much, but over time it starts to damage you. And so then you learn to ignore pain or just take lots of anti-inflammatories, which starts tearing up your gut.

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Some guys start taking demorphine, especially in combat. We have access to all that, especially in the days from 2001, 2006, 2007. It was the freaking Wild West.

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So now you're having counter effects of being excellent. You're falling into traps of addiction or emotional callousness that you're going to be dealing with, or you're going to be feeling the effects of for the rest of your life until you address it.

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And then how about the psychological effects, emotional and spiritual effects? And I'm sure you in the firefighting community and in the first responders and law enforcement know this too, because it's tip of the spear.

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The loss of our loved ones, our brothers and sisters in the fight and the ripple effect that has with their families, which is our family, and that we never have a chance to or choose not to grieve because we've got to fight on.

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Now you add, you know, one of those things alone is tough. The mental, the emotional, the physical, all three degraded. How can it not affect your spiritual?

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All three degraded, my goodness. Most people couldn't handle one. And we professionals in the warrior way, we choose to take on all three.

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So no wonder when we get out over some time, some of the psychosis comes in. You know, I struggled with drugs and alcohol, brother, and I never drank alcohol in my life till about 37 years old.

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And then once I started drinking, I got hard, hard into drugs to hard drugs. First, probably because they numbed me. Also, they got me in such a state of mind of combat that I didn't care about the wreckage that was left over of my life.

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And then I didn't know what to do with my skills. So, and how about the shame that I thought it was just me? I thought it was just me, James, for the first couple of years until I started getting together with my other brothers.

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And we all got into high end, you know, quasi paramilitary contracting in one way or another to put food on the table. And when we would get together, oftentimes, it would just be alcohol and cocaine all together in a house or a room for three or four days.

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And it would first be fun as hell and scrapping. Then it would be reminiscing of the battles, especially the good parts. And then it would turn into missing who's gone.

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And then some of us taking blame for not catching this guy early enough or not killing that guy fast enough or not going on that patrol in which our brother patrol went out and was hit with an IED.

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And in the end, we would be exhausted and then finally go to sleep three days later, in a sense cathartically going through the whole agony and ecstasy of it. But there was no solution.

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There was no solution. But seeing that it wasn't just me, that was the impetus to not be alone anymore. But instead of staying, maybe it comes from leadership, James, maybe it comes from leadership.

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When you become a leader, and you're not born a leader, you become one, if you choose to take the burden of leadership, which is similar to being a father and head of household.

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You take on immense responsibility and the only connection is God that is going to help you through it because you're taking on more.

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And, and the ultimate power source feeds into you, but you have to straighten out your life.

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You have to straighten out your life. And that's when I started straight now in my life. And then I created Force Blue to help me touch back to what makes me feel special.

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Like you see all my recon stuff behind here, you know, and by the way, Jade, I've got such an amazing woman in my life. She knows what I need. I need my reminders and my totems.

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Because it keeps it keeps the wind in my sails. When the water is choppy.

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These are these are immense things. And I'm not sure if if enough of us are speaking about it and connecting. So I talked to my buddy, my buddy, Paul Wayman,

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one of my great recon students, and he was 19 super talented, tall, rangy white boy from Louisiana, Hunter and a fighter.

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And he goes to AR or he goes to BRC basic reconnaissance course, he gets in trouble for fighting out in town.

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They throw him out. He goes to three five, which is one of the toughest units in the world because it's in 29 palms.

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These Marines are the hardest, meanest killers in all the Marine Corps because their life is so hard.

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He excels, goes to snipers, goes to scout sniper in the sniper platoon.

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He and I have been both through the.

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The glory of battle, the crash of addiction, the.

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This is I think may be very, very important for more of us to talk about.

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This space we left open for the wrong kind of woman.

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And then we've been through the loss of sanity.

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And shortly after that is the loss of work.

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And when a man doesn't have the ability to do the work, he's not going to be able to do it.

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Have. A purpose.

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And when a strong man.

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Has a bad woman.

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We have some about us strong men.

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We have no defenses against emotional against.

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We have no defenses against emotional attacks, probably because we've never trained it, probably because we've never trained that.

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We can handle all kinds of other attacks we can all we can handle the savagery and detritus of the battlefield.

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We can sew our own wounds up and slap each other with IVs.

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I put freaking a Marine together with the through and through bullet wound through his belly.

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We can do all that, but we can't do the emotional.

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The emotional TCCC.

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Maybe that's something we should talk about.

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How do we create an emotional TCCC?

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Because if we can do that, we wouldn't have lost Georgio.

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This last one, we wouldn't have lost him.

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We wouldn't have lost Evan Wright.

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If we could do the emotional TCCC.

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Do you know what I'm saying?

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Absolutely.

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I think that there's so many things that contribute to it, and I think the problem is when what I know is when I look at my first marriage.

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You know, was it all in?

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Was it all in was because I was a first responder and I would like to think I was selfless.

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So I was investing, investing, investing in this relationship.

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And again, it took it took me discovering through a Facebook post that when I was at the station, someone else is in the house to finally come with you.

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Pull the pin on that.

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Yeah, brother.

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You know what's interesting and because we're extremist, possibly.

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Because we're extremist, we're all in with everything we do.

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Maybe some of I'm just thinking about this, about that there.

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When you start in recon, you're in a five man team as a recon Marine five man team.

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First position is normally point man.

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It's point man or assistant radio operator.

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Point man has is the junior guy, so if he if he trips a booby trap or ID, at least he's the junior guy.

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But also the point man is.

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Is snooping and pooping and as a snake eater is being very careful about his route and about how he steps.

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And he will go forward in a route and then back off and choose another route because maybe something just doesn't make tactical sense.

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If we could somehow do that, teach, teach men, teach anybody to do that in their emotional life, too.

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Be a point man in your emotional life.

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You're not going to crash through because you could compromise your whole team.

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You could compromise your whole heart point, man.

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Be careful with your steps.

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Eyes open, ears open, head on a swivel emotionally.

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And as the route as it opens to you in a way that would be good for you, then you take that route.

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But if it doesn't back up.

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If we could if we could start having that conversation and working with with each other to do that, we're going to save lives.

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Absolutely. When we talked the first time, we dove into some of the abuse you'd experienced when you were young.

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And we talked about obviously the impact of childhood trauma on on service later.

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But I think one of the interesting things when I look back now, because obviously a lot of the people suffering are roughly our age.

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There's some that are younger. Absolutely. It's definitely some that are older.

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But, you know, our generation was still in doctrine with, you know, boys don't cry, rub some dirt in it.

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Don't be a pussy. And you look back at that rhetoric.

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And I feel like that is one of the things that we still need to be unpacking because of this term.

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Yes, toxic masculinity came out and everyone was kind of, you know, pushing back against that.

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But I think the actual definition should be toxic masculinity is thinking that you're supposed to be the terminator.

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You know, men. And we talked about this before the yin and the yang.

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We have the compassionate and the soft. And then we have the flow state and the hard when we need to go in combat or into a fire.

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So talk to me about, you know, that through your eyes, that whole kind of ethos that you and I grew up in.

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In a perfect world with a mother and father and a village and community that, first of all, gives you safety.

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Boys and girls can have access to empowering and more traditional roles.

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That's with everything is perfect. The reality is nothing is perfect.

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And if you come from a lower socioeconomic or even sometimes I've seen rich families struggle because there is no emotional support for the children.

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I've seen it all over the place.

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I believe in strength. I believe in strength as the baseline, because without strength as the baseline, when the armor is cracked or breached, which it will in life.

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This the strength is a is a platform in which you can first assess, recollect and on your term, reengage.

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But what is strength? But what is strength?

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Strength, first of all, is I cannot say enough about how important athletics are.

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I just can't say enough about it. Athletics in any form.

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The footy, you cats love the football.

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Martial art, of course, track and field, playing outside.

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The athletics is our even as a child, our very first tool given to us as we were created to explore our world and learn how to recognize danger areas and navigate things that are scary, but not so scary that we can't do them.

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If we create that first, that creates confidence in children.

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I think that's something that needs to be talked about is that confidence in people, real confidence, real strength.

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It looks like it's the outside. It's not. It looks like the shell. It's not.

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It looks like it's the books. It's not exactly that either.

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Strength and confidence is a tapestry of competence.

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Physically, emotionally, intellectually, if we can work on that baseline, which remember us older generation, we definitely had to work the physical because if you couldn't, if you couldn't compete against the other kids on the block, you found yourself lower.

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Right.

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You found if you competed well in team, your confidence elevated because now you're around a more competent environment of people and you're winning.

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And even when you lose with a little bit of momentum of winning, when you lose, you do not break.

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Instead, you reassess.

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These things are so absolutely important for the development of kids.

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And now we're in a generation where kids don't have that.

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And so no wonder they're struggling as young adults.

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And for us in the firefighting and first responder, all us warrior cast people and those in the military, especially in the combat arms.

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In a sense, that's childhood 2.0. We're back in childhood in 2.0.

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We love what we're doing.

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It's thrilling, just like freaking just like wrestling in the backyard with the neighborhood kids or being on your first team sport.

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It requires intelligence because you got to think on the ball.

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I love that term.

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You got to be on the ball.

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Ball moves fast, sometimes slow bounces.

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You got to be on the ball.

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Those two things are being hit.

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Now we've got the family because our teammates are there, firefighters, recon marines, Green Beret SEALs, SAS.

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Except we are now in a life or death, which definitely ups the adrenaline and glory, but also has effects on us.

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It has effects on us.

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So how do we, you and me and our guys like us and the women that are like us,

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how do we share with the world and encourage the world to be more like warriors,

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but also make sure you and I do a good job of this, of not glamorizing or glorifying the 1% of it that is so thrilling.

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It's only 1% that's thrilling as hell.

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Most of the rest of it is just a gritty, hard driving work that is beyond a job.

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It's a duty.

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We're not job guys.

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We are empowered with duty.

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That's what a real, that's what real masculinity is.

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It's duty and love for God and country and your family.

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And if you love your family, that means you need to be emotionally available for them.

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If you love your community, that means you must be emotionally available for them too.

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You know what I'm saying?

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I do. I do.

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It's interesting because obviously you talked about the strength side.

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And I think when we were talking about the yin yang before,

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there are times when you're going into a firefight when I was going into a fire where I can't go in and start queening out and go,

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oh my God, it's so hot and run out.

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You've got to get in there and do the job.

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There's no time for emotion by that point.

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So that is the yin. That's the hard.

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But when you come out and God forbid, you had to recover a deceased resident or whatever it was,

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that is when you have to also have the courage that you had when you were going into a fire to be vulnerable and talk about it.

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Doesn't mean that it crushed you. It might not.

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But just to have those courageous conversations.

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So talk to me about, you know, we talked about obviously the warrior and culture when it comes to the battlefield.

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But talk to me about the courage to have vulnerability.

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You know, wow, that the courage for vulnerability.

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You know, when I first started speaking up about these things, probably eight or ten years ago.

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It's interesting.

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I think maybe because I was like the first of my special operations community of the war on terror and all of that that somehow made it into the spotlight.

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I was kind of going through everything first.

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And so when I first went with was sharing about it, I felt very alone and.

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Like maybe I was I was just not as tough or strong as everybody else, but I felt compelled to share.

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When I was sharing, it would be pouring out of me like somebody knocked off the freaking the piece of metal on the fire hydrant.

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And it's flooding out.

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Like I was like I was I'd hit some kind of emotional artery, like my femoral of my soul was pouring out.

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I did not have the tools then to control control that bleed so that I could examine it for what it was.

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I was just doing my best.

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But I think sometimes we get afraid.

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And this is this quick possibly be why we're still losing our brothers and sisters to suicide.

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Is it when they first show the vulnerability to themself? It is a it's it's carotid and femoral sliced and it's pouring and it's shooting.

255
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And it's so overwhelming.

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The fear is that it'll never end and that we just will end it by giving a a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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Well, you know, I just worked out just a little bit ago right here.

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I got my two 50 pound dumbbells, my super strong rubber band from Sorenex.

259
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I've got a kettlebell yesterday.

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Two days ago, I did kickboxing, jump rope, assault bike.

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I swim to.

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So I have to use all these different elements for my health.

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One of them alone is not enough because one of them alone, I'll work the dog shit out of.

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And then and then I'll have shoulder problems or my lower back will be killing me, mate.

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It'll be me and me, mate. It'll be me and that.

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That's what that's what we have to learn to equip ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable so that it becomes a quantum good,

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not a an outpouring of blood that we are don't know how to staunch so that we then kill ourselves or go to the drink.

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You talked about feeling like you were the only one.

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I think that's one of the kind of I mean, it's discussed a little bit now, but you just hear it over and over again.

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You know, and I thought I was the only one. What's wrong with me?

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I'm being a pussy. And then you hear people when they actually come out and say it

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and then they find their own personal toolbox of things that work and they and they and they have that post traumatic growth.

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They're a beacon of light for other people now.

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And everyone's coming out the woodwork and that person's going, what the fuck?

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I thought you were all fine. And they were like, well, I thought you were fine because we wear this mask.

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Yeah. Yeah. Well, and remember, some of us that are still in the fight, that armor is required for our work.

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Exactly. You know, I've seen some of my guys, one in particular who was one of my strongest students

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and was on my team in Fallujah already did the invasion, but he was a young man.

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This is the callousness that comes with the job and this callousness can can be really destructive.

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And I was very callous with my my young man who is so physically dominant.

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He was aggressive. He was an infantryman first. He was through our rip program.

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He was number one. He did great at BRC. And then he came to me to go fight. And I didn't really recognize that he was only 20 years old.

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He had already did the invasion at 19 years old. I saw him as a man.

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I saw and he is a man, but I would not accept or could not even see that he was a very young man and only a few years before was a kid.

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It was extremely hard on him. We were in very bloody fights.

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It was a very dangerous world that we were in in Fallujah and Ramadi. And the op tempo was so high.

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This young man started to break. Instead of me. Really bringing him in.

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I became harder on him. And for that reason, he's gone like he's he doesn't connect to any of the community.

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He struggled deeply, I think, with methamphetamine.

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And I'm afraid that I'll lose. And but he doesn't talk to anybody anymore. And by the way, I love this young man.

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And he's probably what? Forty five now. Forty three. I love this young man.

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But he may not make it back. And I see the error of my ways.

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Man, it is a it is a razor's edge. You walk being hard.

294
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And being soft with Paulie and I called Paulie yesterday.

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I got a great brother. His name is Johnny Knospel. One of the most brilliant men I've ever known.

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He was a Magtaf planner, a super amazing admin guy that came over to after four years, living his dream life in Hawaii, came over for the hardship recon.

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He became a legend recon marine force. And then he went to and then he started running the entire country of Uganda's counterterror program at 30, 35.

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You got into some trouble. We're all still, you know, doing drugs and going to the strip joints and and living like 21 year olds with a death wish.

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Even when we are 35 and 40. Right. And in between missions and such.

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And he got in a fight in a club, went outside, snow came in. He slept in his truck.

301
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The guy came out, broke his window to either go after him. So, of course, he drew down and killed him.

302
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He's been in prison now eight years fighting to get him out.

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And by the way, I love this man so much. And I just saw him before I went to New Zealand and went to the prisons, spent time with him.

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These kinds of casualties happen because we are not emotionally opening up to each other in a way that doesn't involve the drink, the drugs or the gunfight.

305
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So Pauli, I called him yesterday after talking with Johnny.

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We're getting a trip together to go see him in prison again. And Pauli, the sniper brother, we've been through freaking street fights.

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We've been through freaking, you know, hanging with the hell's angels and freaking cocaine.

308
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And and we did some some we trained some police who might have been cartel members down in Costa Rica.

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We've been all over, bro. He is my bodyguard now when I do my events.

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Our relationship always first and foremost is when we get together as we PT.

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First of all, it's got to be freaking fitness first.

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It has to be breathing hard and checking each other and improving each other.

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If we can do that for an hour or two, why can't we do it in other parts of our life?

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And then we get heavy into our history podcasts. And I just called him yesterday just to let him know.

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I had a couple of drinks after I talked to Johnny said, I just want to thank you, Paul. I love you, Paul.

316
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I just want to thank you. How good you've been to me for the last 20 years.

317
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I just want to make sure you know that and to see one of the toughest men I've ever known

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that has fought five freaking cats at one time and came out on top.

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You know, say to me, I love you, brother. I love you, brother. Can't wait to see you.

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That's what needs to happen across the board. That that needs to happen across the board for people.

321
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If we can get to there, I know Paul's never going to leave me, meaning he's never going to take that permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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And I will not do do it either. So we've won that fucking victory. We've won that battle.

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We won that one, brother. And and we only take terrain in this world. We're only taking terrain.

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We're not falling back. We're taking terrain. We're not raiding and falling back. We're taking terrain.

325
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We're conquering our life. We're conquerors of our life now.

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And I think it's important that somehow we find a way en masse to start having those conversations,

327
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especially with the toughest, most heroic dudes. Some of them are already doing it like to lamb.

328
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I don't know if you ever had to lamb on your cast. He's one. Oh, OK.

329
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So some of us are going that route. I think that needs to be the next evolution for us heroes.

330
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We need to go that. Why is it when we go through, you know,

331
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whether it's a fire academy or, you know, obviously some of the Special Forces selections that you guys do,

332
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you build such a tight bond as that shared suffering that unites men and women that, you know,

333
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you'll be that class of and there's so much camaraderie. And at that point, you know, you do love each other.

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And just to fast forward, I love the fact that now that this is becoming more and more of a thing,

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that a lot of a lot of men, especially I think in our professions, are starting to do this.

336
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And I tell dudes I love them all the time, you know, and there's no rainbow flag in my window.

337
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Yeah. But, you know, so we have that shared suffering that brings us into these professions,

338
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that that teaches us to be part of this cohesive team that arguably we literally would die for that person to the left and the right of us.

339
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That's right. What what are we doing wrong on the back end that we lose that cohesion, you know, when people need it the most?

340
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You know, before the advent of social media, and this is what I've got to say positive about social media,

341
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before the advent of that or when it was just in its early stages, we were losing a lot of guys because after the unit

342
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and after the enlistment is up, after the career is over, no matter how bad as you are, James,

343
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eventually the careers over and they've got another freaking 20, 30 freaking super studs that want to do it.

344
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And you're getting long in the tooth and your body's not the same. You've got a divorce or two.

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And then we go to the winds. We all come we all come from different places in this country, some in the world.

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And then we come together for this very honorable time, eternal rite of passage into into bravery and manhood.

347
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But then when it's over, eventually it's always over such as life. Eventually it is over.

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That chapter is over. We must go out of our way, knowing just as we think about what kind of food we put in our body

349
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or if what kind of PT physical training we're doing or making sure that you're you're, you know,

350
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putting that 15 percent, 20 percent of your money into the into the long distance accounts for the IRAs and stuff,

351
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because I'm even doing that now. I'm even doing that now.

352
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It needs to be the same kind of approach to where is my brotherly warrior? And you can be a woman, too, but a brotherly warrior

353
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workout this week. Have I called so and so? Have we been on so last night I did a FaceTime with Chance Kelly,

354
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who is who played Godfather on on Generation Kill. He does real estate, still does amazing acting.

355
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His kids are now in high school and college, still married to his wife. And he's just my bro.

356
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And he's, you know, maybe 10 years older than me. He was a boxer, still a stud. I make the time.

357
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I said, bro, I want to have a drink tomorrow night. You want to have a drink with me?

358
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He's in New York. I'm here in Dallas. So we put up the freaking phone and we have a drink and we talk.

359
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We need to start doing this. You know, at least texts and a video message. I do this with Billy.

360
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Billy Billingham's got a lot going on with Haiti. He's got grandkids. He's got work with his speaking tour.

361
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We'll make videos for each other and send them to each other. It's got to be part of your basic daily routine,

362
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the BDR, basic daily routine connection, connection.

363
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I want to go back to the suicide for a second, because I think there's another thing that we didn't discuss last time

364
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that's really kind of shown its head through almost a thousand interviews now.

365
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And a lot of people have been in that very dark place, but you don't hear it talked about.

366
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And I think, you know, when we're wringing our hair, wondering why we're losing so many people,

367
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I think part of it is this 10, 20 years ago, when you talk about suicide, most people would say that's selfish.

368
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That's cowardly. How could they think about your wife, think about your kids?

369
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And then you actually end up in this bizarre situation where you become a podcaster and you interview lots of people

370
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that have been there and you hear the same thing.

371
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There is a complete belief through the miswiring of the brain at that point, through the cumulative effects of all the things,

372
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everything from unaddressed childhood trauma, to sleep deprivation, to what we see in the job,

373
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organizational betrayal, side effects of alcohol and psych meds, you know, you name it.

374
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And they get to this point now where their reality is actually being distorted.

375
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And at that moment, these men and women believe that they are the cause of their family's suffering

376
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and they have sworn an oath already to die for their brothers and sisters in uniform.

377
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:58,080
So now you have this person in psychosis that believes that they are the pain and is like.

378
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,080
So that then makes suicide courageous and selfless.

379
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,080
It's hard to understand with a clear mind.

380
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:08,080
But at that point, these people are sacrificing themselves for their loved ones.

381
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:12,080
So that I can't agree with you more. I can't agree with you more.

382
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:16,080
Evan, Evan, that is why Evan killed himself.

383
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:20,080
Evan, right.

384
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:26,080
I mean, this is so wild how how God is always working.

385
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:34,080
But when you're working, you're working in tandem, you see signs and you see little miracles and big miracles.

386
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:39,080
And you see also danger zones and freaking demons to you see it all.

387
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:44,080
It's here. I just saw Evan on TV.

388
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:49,080
The night before he took his life, I saw him on TV.

389
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,080
And he was so gaunt. He was so thin.

390
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:54,080
I didn't recognize him. I looked away.

391
00:46:54,080 --> 00:47:00,080
I was talking to Jade and then his voice.

392
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:08,080
I recognized and then he has these two little blue marks on his cheek like from asphalt that he that he fell down when he was a kid.

393
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:11,080
This blue marks underneath the skin.

394
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,080
I said, that's Evan. My God.

395
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,080
He's so thin. I need to reach out to him.

396
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:29,080
Because I know Evan ever since Generation Kill being there with us, he listens to his audio of our gunfights and our chatter.

397
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:33,080
And that's part of his grounding.

398
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:41,080
But it's also maybe it's a way of him always giving himself a little bit of pain, maybe stress inoculation would be the kindest way to say it.

399
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:48,080
So the program was about children that had been sold or not sold. Listen to me. But it feels like being sold.

400
00:47:48,080 --> 00:48:00,080
Parents who had been sold a bill of goods that with their problem child, you send them to a reeducation camp deemed, you know, an outdoor Christian facility or something.

401
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:04,080
And these kids end up being killed or horribly traumatized.

402
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:07,080
I had no idea Evan was in one of those.

403
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:12,080
Then it all made sense to me because he was speaking on it on HBO.

404
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:29,080
It all made sense to me why he chose to be in our unit for this blood and guts blitzkrieg all the way through the middle of Iraq, fighting in every city we could pass Baghdad to crit and then Baghdad.

405
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:37,080
Because his unhealed trauma and neglect and abuse.

406
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:43,080
No wonder he loved being with us because we would kill for him.

407
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:51,080
And we were braving death ourselves together, not isolated.

408
00:48:51,080 --> 00:49:07,080
And I and I didn't call. Matter of fact, the next morning I had to go get my hair cut because because I had to do a mid or something like that.

409
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:12,080
You know, I have to do post production for the shows I just did for S.A.S. and Special Forces.

410
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:19,080
And oh, no, I was doing a speaking gig. Maybe I was doing a speaking gig.

411
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:28,080
I don't know. This is oh, no, I was going to L.A. for my C.A.A. meetings and my work.

412
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:33,080
And I got a call that he had taken his life.

413
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:43,080
And of course, I went to L.A. the next day, got Jeff Karazalis, some of the guys together and then a lot of the actors together.

414
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:49,080
One of Evans dear bros in recovery became friends with me.

415
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:53,080
His name's I won't say his name because he's still a professional.

416
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:59,080
He's an old school warfighter detective. And and he does some other stuff, too.

417
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:15,080
Found out that he was behind in money. Fighting with his wife. Got back on cannabis.

418
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:22,080
Upped his meds for his brain, whatever those are. Lost his agent.

419
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:27,080
Because he didn't get his book done, his proposal done on time.

420
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:37,080
So he's got a five headed dragon. And I talked to somebody had just talked to him that morning.

421
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:44,080
And he said everything was oh, no, just had had lunch with him the day before. Everything seemed great.

422
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:53,080
He believes that Evans saw the best thing he could do to help the family.

423
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:57,080
And I think they got an insurance policy. I don't know what.

424
00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:02,080
But he thought the best thing he could do is take himself out of the equation.

425
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:07,080
He he had already planned it, I guess. And he shot himself.

426
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:10,080
He thought that very same thing and felt it.

427
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:17,080
And, you know, I had another I had a couple of operator brothers, one in particular.

428
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:23,080
That prescribes to the thought that you're weak and you're selfish. And how could you ever do that?

429
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:28,080
The rest of us, because we've been so close to it, we know it's not that.

430
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:43,080
It's that we believe that it's the best possible thing when we're in that state of psychosis or coming down off of hard drugs or or being in a emotional fight with the one thing that we don't know how to fight.

431
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:54,080
And that's being vulnerable to our mate and then add on money problems or a child custody gig.

432
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:59,080
And, bro, it's a recipe for disaster. It's a perfect storm.

433
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:11,080
I think it's so important to hear more and more and more layers of this different perspective, because, you know, if you think about the warning signs, you know, like talking about suicide or, you know,

434
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:15,080
suddenly not interacting with your friends anymore, those are kind of obvious.

435
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:19,080
And then the response usually is that, well, call me, you know, I'm here for you.

436
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,080
And it's very it's not very proactive at all.

437
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:30,080
But what I think needs to be front and center, because I would say almost 100 percent of the people that have been there and some of them went through their attempt, they just survived.

438
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:35,080
All of them reported of this feeling of burdensome and this true belief.

439
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:42,080
And it's because the neurochemistry, the wiring, by that point, you are broken. And I use that term very affectionately.

440
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:49,080
But you have been traumatized through so many different ways that your brain has shifted the same way, you know, as you know, it's almost like schizophrenia.

441
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:53,080
This is your reality. Now you believe that there's ghosties and ghoulies.

442
00:52:53,080 --> 00:53:01,080
And so to have that inherent belief that you go ahead with the suicide, everyone benefits at your sacrifice.

443
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:07,080
It makes sense to them. So if we're not saying if you feel like a burden, that is a big red flag.

444
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:16,080
You need to go and ask people. And if you hear people talking about being a burden, that's when we need to step in, not when they're talking about the gun in their mouth.

445
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,080
Yeah, well said. Well said. It is. It's that.

446
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:37,080
And we if we stay connected and we talk about the real things that are going on, if that line of dialogue of burden mixed along with struggles with money or divorce,

447
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:48,080
just understand the man or woman is in crisis and we need to mobilize and you need to mobilize right then and there.

448
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:52,080
I've done that. I've done that for a few of my brothers.

449
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:54,080
I just mobilize. And you know what?

450
00:53:54,080 --> 00:54:08,080
I got some real guff from a dear bro, Army Marine Corps brother, PhD, theologian, credible with his knowledge and his heart for God.

451
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:19,080
But because of PTSD, he's got some things like we all do. I didn't hear from him for a couple of days.

452
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:25,080
He always gets right back. I did not hesitate. I called the police. I called the police.

453
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:35,080
I mobilized anybody and everybody in New York City to go to his house to if that means kick the door down, that's what's got to happen.

454
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:54,080
And that's what they did. First off, he's OK. But his PTSD, it shows up in his life because he's such a consummate intellectual.

455
00:54:54,080 --> 00:55:02,080
He has books everywhere in his little apartment in New York. And then when he isolates, he'll never take out the trash.

456
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:11,080
You know, there was stuff in his refrigerator that was I went over there to eat at his house a while back ago and made some pork chops and pork chops are probably about three years old.

457
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:20,080
And and he he went through a divorce and his and his sharing custody with the son.

458
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:25,080
There's a lot of freaking trauma layered on top of on top of on top.

459
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:36,080
And he's leaned into his academia, but he hasn't had any love and healing for him because he doesn't want to be a burden.

460
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,080
He doesn't want to be a burden to anybody. He's my dear bro.

461
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:46,080
I won't say his name because you'd get mad if I because I call the police and mobilize the fire department called called police.

462
00:55:46,080 --> 00:56:05,080
I knew there we found out that he was in the VA and he didn't let anybody know because he didn't want to let anybody know that he was in the mental space and put away at the VA for a week or two because he didn't want to because he had some kind of house inspection coming and he couldn't deal with it.

463
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:18,080
So the brothers and I, we got together and, you know, we freaking organized his house and it was a massive undertaking. But he didn't want to he didn't want anyone to see his shame.

464
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:22,080
He's how he felt shame because he's a warrior. We feel shame.

465
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:26,080
He didn't want to be a burden. He didn't know what to do.

466
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:37,080
And he was really, really mad at me and a couple of my other brothers for a little while about because now it all was in the open.

467
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:40,080
Like, you know, he's got a problem. He's got a problem.

468
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:44,080
Isn't the open now? Everything's wonderful.

469
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:58,080
But it took it took some time to heal. However, the important thing to to express to your viewers is myself and my but and my Marine Corps brother, Matt DeMaius, we took action.

470
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:02,080
We did not hesitate. First, I got a call from Matt.

471
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:08,080
Matt said, you know, our brothers not get back to him. I said, why don't you call him? Because he loves me.

472
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,080
I think I didn't hear nothing back.

473
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:14,080
I didn't hear nothing back within the next few hours.

474
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:20,080
Boom, we're on the phone and we're mobilizing. And I'm already preparing possibly for a funeral.

475
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:24,080
I'm already preparing spiritually.

476
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:28,080
Thank God we got him. But we did not hesitate.

477
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:34,080
And that is what I would like to express to the viewers. If you feel something, do something.

478
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:38,080
If you feel something, do something right then and there.

479
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:43,080
I couldn't agree more. And I think that's the other thing is not say, oh, if you're struggling, call me.

480
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,080
Like, I think you need to show up. You need a physical.

481
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:50,080
I've done this with one of my firefighter friends a few years ago who was going through some horrendous stuff.

482
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:56,080
And he went into addiction rehab and his whole mindset was if this doesn't work this time, I'm done.

483
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:59,080
And thank God something shifted and it did.

484
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,080
But I showed up one day and he was drunk.

485
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:07,080
So, you know, we had a short conversation. I said, I'm going to come back tomorrow when you're sober and we'll have a proper conversation.

486
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:11,080
And I did. And that was, you know, there was other loads of other people in his life.

487
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:17,080
I was just one of the people that did it. But if you think someone else is going to show up, no one's going to show up.

488
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:21,080
But if you all show up, then beautiful. You got it covered.

489
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:27,080
That's right. That's right. Whether it's that comes back again to leadership that comes back.

490
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:36,080
I mean, you know, bro, because I have been front and center for some time as a example for warrior healing and warrior transition.

491
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:42,080
I get messages every day and sometimes they're rough.

492
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:48,080
However, I do my level best to get back to everybody.

493
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:54,080
I got a lot of brothers in the UK calling for their sons or husbands.

494
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:57,080
And boom, I'll get on the phone.

495
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:06,080
And I've received so many wonderful messages back about how important that was.

496
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:11,080
And I'm thinking, gosh, it didn't take a lot from me.

497
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:14,080
It doesn't take a lot from us, but it means everything.

498
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:20,080
It may not seem like it takes a lot and it doesn't take a lot, but it can mean everything.

499
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:23,080
So I learned this term from Foxy.

500
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:28,080
Get the UK brothers say it getting stuck in.

501
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,080
You get stuck in.

502
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:36,080
You you freaking show up and you show up with some passion and some purpose.

503
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,080
We'll save lives that way.

504
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:50,080
I cannot believe I lost Georgia or Marsau brother in San Diego, because if there was one person that had a bigger smile and bigger muscles than me was him.

505
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:55,080
We just saw him at SHOT show in Las Vegas.

506
00:59:55,080 --> 01:00:03,080
All smiles, hugs, amazing giant of a man and full of love.

507
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:09,080
I had no idea that the relationship was on the rocks, him and his wife.

508
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,080
And then he was going through a divorce, I guess.

509
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:21,080
And and he's tight with his seal bros because he was attached to them and he's tight to Marsau brothers because, you know, he's tight to us.

510
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:36,080
However, I guess maybe was he ashamed to say my relationship isn't working and I'm not happy or I'm trying to make her happy and it's not working.

511
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:42,080
Was he ashamed to say I'm I need to leave here and come to your house for a few weeks?

512
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,080
Maybe that's what it was. Maybe because he's a warrior.

513
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:48,080
I mean, you know, he's a gunnery sergeant, maybe even a mastery gunnery sergeant.

514
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:52,080
We got out a lot of combat experience.

515
01:00:52,080 --> 01:01:04,080
Maybe was he afraid to say I need help because I did not see it, but I wasn't living there in San Diego with him.

516
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:08,080
We just got to do a better job of staying involved in each other's lives.

517
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:26,080
Like, you know, I've got a recon brother, a legend and a masterful medic taught TCCC to the triple letter agencies after doing some of the most amazing work with Blackwater and then other strange places.

518
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:31,080
He was a junior guy in my day and he was with me in Afghanistan in 01.

519
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:35,080
He was with me in the invasion, you know, three.

520
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:39,080
He's a firefighter here. You'll meet him soon, but it will get us all together.

521
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,080
His name is Dan Redmond.

522
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:46,080
I make sure we make sure we see each other and check in when we're in town.

523
01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:49,080
We got to get together. It's part of our life support, man.

524
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:53,080
It is part. It's just it's just as we need nutrition.

525
01:01:53,080 --> 01:02:00,080
If we want to perform with the training and have the energy to go to the job site, we need that spiritual and emotional message.

526
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,080
We need spiritual and emotional nutrition as well.

527
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,080
And that comes from our community.

528
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:09,080
So I'm going to be seeing him tomorrow and and we make the time.

529
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:11,080
You know, we make the time. And you know what?

530
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:17,080
I'll spend the money. I'm going on a trip.

531
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:27,080
I'm going on a trip in three weeks with Matt DeMail, my Marine Corps brother, force blue diver out of New York, linking up with George Georgie.

532
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:34,080
Mike Buzz Lightyear, six, five, massive chin, massive shoulders, master diver instructor for now.

533
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:41,080
We Marsup guy and we're bringing Jade and getting her dive falls up and we're going to do some rep dives.

534
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:44,080
I don't care if it's going to cost some money. I don't care what the economy is saying right now.

535
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:53,080
I can make more. I know that this is spiritual and emotional nutrition for us, all of us.

536
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:58,080
And George is never going to cause George until he came on force blue. He was really alone.

537
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:02,080
Now he's with force blue to, you know, we just had a mission with our children.

538
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:06,080
What that did for me being there with my brothers and with the kids.

539
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:09,080
Holy smokes, but I've been on fire.

540
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:18,080
So I'm I'm investing in that emotional nutrition and spiritual nutrition by doing some diving with my best friends.

541
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:20,080
Billy Billingham is going to be there.

542
01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:27,080
We make time Billy and I make time, whether it's in the UK, New York, Florida, wherever we support each other.

543
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:29,080
Foxy got married.

544
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:33,080
Jade and I made time to be there and we make time.

545
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:37,080
We know it's just as important as what's in the refrigerator.

546
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:41,080
It's just as important as keeping the electricity on.

547
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:44,080
You see what I'm saying? No wonder I'm doing so well.

548
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:48,080
I'm feeling so much love in my life. No wonder I'm doing so well.

549
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:53,080
You talked about in multiple cases how there were relationship problems.

550
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:57,080
And obviously there's times where, you know, we are attracted to the wrong person.

551
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:02,080
You know, I think a lot of, you know, they say hurt people, hurt people, and sometimes they have to get together to do it.

552
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:07,080
But there was a woman, I think it was Dr. Shafari, I think her name is.

553
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:11,080
And I remember hearing one of her kind of little speeches on a different podcast.

554
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:14,080
But she was talking about, you know, that shame.

555
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,080
And we use that term, oh, my marriage failed.

556
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:18,080
You know, and it's like it's not.

557
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:22,080
And I remember years ago, they're thinking that relationships are like food.

558
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:28,080
Like, you know, you get the high school sweethearts that die hand in hand when they're 90.

559
01:04:28,080 --> 01:04:32,080
You know, that's your honey. But then some relationships are gas station sushi.

560
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:35,080
They're not supposed to last very long. You know what I mean? So true.

561
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:38,080
So having taken that shame and that guilt away.

562
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:42,080
I mean, obviously, if you could, if you were madly in love and then the job has changed you

563
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:47,080
and there's some work you can both do to get back, you absolutely put the work in.

564
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:50,080
But like, for example, in my relationship, there was no going back.

565
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:53,080
One person didn't want anything to do with it anymore.

566
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:59,080
And so it's that guilt and shame of like, well, my son's going to have to bounce between two houses now.

567
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:03,080
Yeah, that's less than idyllic. But the other option isn't there anymore.

568
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:07,080
And it's not that bad. And my son is going into his senior year now.

569
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:10,080
And my bonus boy is obviously a product of divorce as well.

570
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:15,080
And those two young men are thriving because you just make it work. You didn't fail.

571
01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:19,080
It's just that you projected this story of the nuclear family

572
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:22,080
and your particular story wasn't supposed to go that way.

573
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:26,080
But it's not there shouldn't be that that shame and that guilt.

574
01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:30,080
And if you made mistakes and own them, process them and move on. Exactly.

575
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:35,080
Exactly. Brother, I something else is going so rad in my life.

576
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:38,080
I've got my son back in my life.

577
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:42,080
My ex and Jade get along like piece and carrots.

578
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:46,080
I love his dad, Chad, who plays golf. I don't play golf.

579
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:50,080
I don't do any of that stuff. I love Chad. He plays golf.

580
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:54,080
My son's grandparents, my in-laws, everything.

581
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:58,080
It is so amazing because we chose to show up.

582
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:01,080
And it wasn't easy in the beginning.

583
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:05,080
I lost the ability to see my son fought in court, lost.

584
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:09,080
Looking back, I deserve to lose my heart.

585
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:14,080
My heart didn't deserve it. But my heart was broken.

586
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:19,080
By the way, though, post-traumatic stress growth.

587
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:28,080
I'm at a space where I'm looking at my scars and traumas and struggles of my past.

588
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:30,080
It's an honor to have them.

589
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:39,080
It's an honor to have them because you're going to choose because you must.

590
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:46,080
You must choose. You will hit a point when you must choose destruction or bravery.

591
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:49,080
And bravery means you might have to start doing things different.

592
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:53,080
That means maybe no more drinking and drugging.

593
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:57,080
Maybe that means taking steps to solidify.

594
01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:05,080
Because I've been living as a nomad gypsy my entire life, probably because I didn't have a family.

595
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:09,080
I've had a home and a stable life with Jay now five years.

596
01:07:09,080 --> 01:07:12,080
I put things in order.

597
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:19,080
And when I first emailed my son's mother, she was on the back foot.

598
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:22,080
I kept emailing.

599
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:28,080
And then without being prompted, started sending money for child support.

600
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:31,080
And my son's mother is a surgeon.

601
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:34,080
They are doing great, but it's not about just the money.

602
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:38,080
What it's about is the respect and the honor.

603
01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:44,080
Then when I started working, and who knew how popular the Call of Duty thing would be?

604
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:46,080
I don't play video games.

605
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:52,080
So my son never thought I was that cool until he started playing me on the video game.

606
01:07:52,080 --> 01:08:03,080
When I'm out there in Jordan for the first Special Forces, the King of Jordan writes a note,

607
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,080
and we take pictures with Foxy and Billy.

608
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:08,080
Billy and everybody sends him a happy birthday message.

609
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:12,080
I kept making that pathway.

610
01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:17,080
At first it was just a point man working the route.

611
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:20,080
Then I brought in some freaking bushwhackers and whacked it out.

612
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:22,080
Then I decided to put down planks.

613
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:26,080
Now I've got tiki torches for the pathway there.

614
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:32,080
And Jay and I went up there with Hank, our dog, almost two years ago.

615
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:40,080
And it had been five years since I'd even seen him before I got to FaceTime my son.

616
01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:43,080
And by the way, it's still challenging.

617
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:46,080
When he first talked to me, he called me Rudy.

618
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:53,080
He really didn't remember, he remembered me, but last time I was really with him, he was four, five years old.

619
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,080
And it kind of hurt.

620
01:08:55,080 --> 01:09:01,080
But I had to take the pain and know that this is progress.

621
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:08,080
And now it's freaking daddy this, popper Rudy that.

622
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:13,080
And he can't wait to come to Force Blue and dive at the Sharks next year.

623
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:17,080
It's just absolutely amazing.

624
01:09:17,080 --> 01:09:23,080
But I had to do a lot of work to get that, to open up that relationship.

625
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:32,080
And look, I've got a very, very, I've got a very strong and amazing woman and a loving woman.

626
01:09:32,080 --> 01:09:40,080
And by the way, you know, it was hard sometimes, you know, Jay, to be like, she doesn't know what you're going through.

627
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:44,080
She doesn't know how much it hurts you to not see your son.

628
01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:49,080
She doesn't know how close you were to taking your life because your son was gone.

629
01:09:49,080 --> 01:09:52,080
And I said, yes, but that's also what brought me to life.

630
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:53,080
It's true.

631
01:09:53,080 --> 01:10:01,080
When they took my son and I was in a deadbeat relationship, I was still, I was still doing drugs too and still fucking on the edge.

632
01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:13,080
That was the tipping point to getting so real that boom in one millisecond after putting my weapon in my mouth,

633
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:24,080
God expressed in words I can't say, make no way to say them in a language that there is more for you and it's going to be OK.

634
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:39,080
As soon as I took my gun out as a proper leader, when you get some good information and you find a better way of doing things, you have to take action too.

635
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:46,080
So right then I got on the phone, called my brother, Caesar, had him get my guns out of the house, cleaned up, started working out.

636
01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:49,080
And shortly after that, force blue.

637
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:54,080
And then shortly after that, Jade, then shortly shortly after that, my career comes back.

638
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:58,080
Shortly after that, I've got my son back.

639
01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:03,080
You know, God, brother, I'm just the most the most blessed person.

640
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:10,080
By the way, we've been Jade and I, you know, I was still a freaking wreck, but I was a sexy mess.

641
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:13,080
I was a sexy mess, but I was a fucking mess.

642
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:15,080
And she stood by my side.

643
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:22,080
And no wonder, you know, she she is my recon now.

644
01:11:22,080 --> 01:11:25,080
That is the team that I build first.

645
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:28,080
But she's sensitive to what I need with my brothers.

646
01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:31,080
So we work together.

647
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:51,080
If anybody out there can think about that as, you know, a template or reflects to what I expressed about about building little building little structures, they can withstand the waves and the wind and the storms.

648
01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:57,080
And when you build a few of those little structures, you know, now you can set a and they got to be balanced.

649
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:00,080
Now you can set a tabletop on top of it.

650
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:01,080
You got to be balanced.

651
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:06,080
You can't be a super stud physical athlete and and not do anything emotionally.

652
01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:12,080
You can't be all emotion and all giving without keeping your physical fitness strong.

653
01:12:12,080 --> 01:12:20,080
You can't be purely driven to make money and to build yourself up, you know, financially.

654
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:38,080
If you're not making sure that your loved ones and family have some emotional capital that you want to share with them, these little structures that you build first a small, they eventually build out of the turmoil of the seas.

655
01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:42,080
And if you build them up balanced, you can put a tabletop on top.

656
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:46,080
And that thing is strong and stable and you can build your whole life on top of it.

657
01:12:46,080 --> 01:12:49,080
That's what I've done.

658
01:12:49,080 --> 01:13:05,080
That really kind of segues well into one of the other things I want to talk about when it comes to the mental health conversation in the first responder profession, especially we I feel, you know, eight, nine, ten years ago started talking about it.

659
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:08,080
Finally, there's some people obviously been, you know, thought leaders for a lot longer.

660
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:13,080
But overall, I would say that eight years, kind of when it started kind of getting momentum.

661
01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:21,080
But I feel like we got stuck on the we need to smash the stigma conversation, which, yes, don't be a dick about suicide and mental health.

662
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:24,080
But that's that's resolved in two seconds.

663
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:26,080
Now we need to get to how do we fix this?

664
01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:28,080
How do people go through it?

665
01:13:28,080 --> 01:13:42,080
And where I think there's so much value is the post traumatic growth conversation, putting hope into this, not that you're just going to be living with your depression every day and, you know, having your dog and taking your pills, because that's not so good.

666
01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:43,080
That's not growth.

667
01:13:43,080 --> 01:13:48,080
So talk to me about the resilience on the other side of the work.

668
01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:50,080
Holy moly, brother.

669
01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:59,080
It's so it's so empowering and it there is not a day I can't remember the last day I got up.

670
01:13:59,080 --> 01:14:03,080
I woke up or I can't remember the last day that I didn't want to get up.

671
01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:05,080
It's been that long.

672
01:14:05,080 --> 01:14:24,080
I've been fired up for my day for probably five years now and every day, even though when we're dog tired out there in the field, you know, Billy and Foxy and I and Chris and Q, we're doing we're doing 20 hour days in the field.

673
01:14:24,080 --> 01:14:29,080
And still I wake up and I'm ready to go.

674
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:31,080
Foxy's grumpy, but I'm ready to go.

675
01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:33,080
I'm getting a brew going.

676
01:14:33,080 --> 01:14:37,080
I'm getting a brew going and we're going for it.

677
01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:48,080
The resilience comes when you start getting some more W's instead of L's in your emotional, spiritual, physical scorecard.

678
01:14:48,080 --> 01:15:01,080
You're like, wow, you know, my relationship, I just got a wonderful message from them and and and I feel supported.

679
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:08,080
Or wow, I've lost a little bit of body fat and I'm feeling stronger, more proud of myself.

680
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:09,080
Wow.

681
01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:16,080
I really hammered down on my discipline and got my presentation so solid that I nailed it.

682
01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:20,080
And now I've improved at work.

683
01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:27,080
Those things start snowballing and you become I mean, there's nothing I can't get through now.

684
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:28,080
There's nothing.

685
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:32,080
And you know, bro, I'm 52 now.

686
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:38,080
I've got some wear and tear on this body and I'm still doing I'm still an action hero for a living.

687
01:15:38,080 --> 01:15:40,080
Sometimes it hurts, bro.

688
01:15:40,080 --> 01:15:45,080
And sometimes there's a little fear there that I won't be able to maintain this much longer.

689
01:15:45,080 --> 01:15:53,080
And then when that if I let that go too far, then I start thinking, well, that's what you get, Rudy, for never going to college.

690
01:15:53,080 --> 01:16:05,080
Well, that's what you get, Rudy, for for not for always living in the moment and being a warrior with no care of your future, because deep down you expected to die anyway.

691
01:16:05,080 --> 01:16:08,080
And that's what you get.

692
01:16:08,080 --> 01:16:17,080
And then I now I notice that that's that's that's the freaking ugly voice that wants to keep me down.

693
01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:21,080
It's not the truth.

694
01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:27,080
I'm exactly where I'm at with a lot of grace, with a lot of love and support.

695
01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:29,080
And I've done a lot of hard work, too.

696
01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:32,080
So I need a freaking chuck that up to myself as well.

697
01:16:32,080 --> 01:16:34,080
You know what I mean?

698
01:16:34,080 --> 01:16:37,080
Building that self-respect and dignity.

699
01:16:37,080 --> 01:16:50,080
It is it is medicine and it is a spiritual armor that protects against those ugly voices, those evil voices that say you're not that good or you're not enough.

700
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:53,080
Or you used to be something and now you're nothing.

701
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:55,080
You know what I'm saying? Absolutely.

702
01:16:55,080 --> 01:16:58,080
Well, I think that's that the danger from the identity piece as well.

703
01:16:58,080 --> 01:17:09,080
When you only walk or think I'm a firefighter or I'm a Marine and that's it, you know, then then when that's taken from you, because it will, like you said, it might be a full career with retirement.

704
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:12,080
It might be injury. You might get fired, you know, whatever it is.

705
01:17:12,080 --> 01:17:27,080
But if that's all you see yourself as is that thing that you did, then or your athleticism, I mean, you look at the documentary, The Weight of Gold, all these elite, elite sports people that once they're on the podium the last time, they're like, well, now what?

706
01:17:27,080 --> 01:17:29,080
This is what I've done since I was three years old.

707
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:31,080
So, yeah, absolutely.

708
01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:36,080
Looking at not just your career path or your athleticism, but everything that you do.

709
01:17:36,080 --> 01:17:37,080
Yes, brother.

710
01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:51,080
That man and wow, I have just I have just morphed being a recon Marine because I still stay so close to the community and all special operations and all military.

711
01:17:51,080 --> 01:17:54,080
I've just adapted it.

712
01:17:54,080 --> 01:17:55,080
I'm still him.

713
01:17:55,080 --> 01:17:57,080
I'm still a warrior.

714
01:17:57,080 --> 01:18:07,080
Although I can't do the job like I used to, I can still apply those principles to my life, even though I'm not jumping out. Well, not all the time.

715
01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:09,080
Jumping out of helicopters, not all the time.

716
01:18:09,080 --> 01:18:21,080
I'm still doing it, but I can apply the same principles and dedication to duty, discipline, debrief with myself and see lessons learned.

717
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:23,080
How do we make it better?

718
01:18:23,080 --> 01:18:29,080
Still being a student, I can still do that, although I'm not in the Marine Corps anymore.

719
01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:36,080
And now it's about sustainability to approach things that I've not worked on that much.

720
01:18:36,080 --> 01:18:38,080
Economics, finance, business.

721
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:39,080
I'm doing that now.

722
01:18:39,080 --> 01:18:43,080
You know, I've I've got a I've got a C Corp now, brother.

723
01:18:43,080 --> 01:18:44,080
You won't believe it.

724
01:18:44,080 --> 01:18:46,080
I mean, you know, we've got money in the bank.

725
01:18:46,080 --> 01:18:50,080
I've got an accountant, a lawyer, agent.

726
01:18:50,080 --> 01:18:51,080
I've got my production team.

727
01:18:51,080 --> 01:18:59,080
I'm finding this is very filling because it requires so much intellectual hard work with instinct as well.

728
01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:01,080
And who do I work with?

729
01:19:01,080 --> 01:19:02,080
Other veterans.

730
01:19:02,080 --> 01:19:04,080
So look, it's hitting on all cylinders for me.

731
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:08,080
I'm maintaining and creating more stability.

732
01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:12,080
I'm empowering and working with the best brothers and sisters in the world.

733
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:14,080
And I'm learning.

734
01:19:14,080 --> 01:19:16,080
So I'm like I'm a student again.

735
01:19:16,080 --> 01:19:21,080
You know, when I was going through recon indoctrination and then going through amphibious reconnaissance school,

736
01:19:21,080 --> 01:19:26,080
I didn't know anything, but I was so physically fit and had such a great attitude.

737
01:19:26,080 --> 01:19:28,080
And one of the instructors called me.

738
01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:30,080
He said, hey, Stud, let me see that.

739
01:19:30,080 --> 01:19:33,080
Let me see your land nav card stud.

740
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:37,080
I ran over there, gave him my land nav card because I nailed my land.

741
01:19:37,080 --> 01:19:40,080
And I thought, wow, he really thinks I'm cool.

742
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:41,080
You know what I mean?

743
01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:42,080
I'm doing so good.

744
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:43,080
He calls me a stud.

745
01:19:43,080 --> 01:19:48,080
And I find out later that stud is what they call everybody because it's short for student.

746
01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:53,080
It's short for students.

747
01:19:53,080 --> 01:20:05,080
So, yeah, brother, you know, I just transitioned and morphed the same things that I've always loved,

748
01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:12,080
which is martial arts and sport, brotherhood and camaraderie.

749
01:20:12,080 --> 01:20:15,080
I've never had it feel so good.

750
01:20:15,080 --> 01:20:25,080
The love and affection, to be honest, Jade, in a lot of ways, is a mother to me that I've never had.

751
01:20:25,080 --> 01:20:28,080
Some of it I don't like because he tells me what to do sometimes too much.

752
01:20:28,080 --> 01:20:30,080
He tells me to brush my teeth all the time.

753
01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:37,080
But the good parts is the support, the hugs, the kisses.

754
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:40,080
The support is so awesome.

755
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:50,080
And then I've got a job that is more than a job because it ripples into inspiring people around the world.

756
01:20:50,080 --> 01:20:53,080
I have a duty again.

757
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:54,080
How about this?

758
01:20:54,080 --> 01:20:56,080
Remember I said I'm a stud.

759
01:20:56,080 --> 01:20:59,080
Brother, I work with Billy Billingham.

760
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:07,080
That man, I don't know if there's anybody in the world that loves him more than me, maybe his wife, maybe not.

761
01:21:07,080 --> 01:21:13,080
That man is so intelligent and has seen and done so much.

762
01:21:13,080 --> 01:21:17,080
And that's coming from a guy that's seen and done a whole lot.

763
01:21:17,080 --> 01:21:25,080
Billy teaches me things out there in the field every day, every day.

764
01:21:25,080 --> 01:21:28,080
It's just wonderful for me to be a student.

765
01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:29,080
Same with Foxy.

766
01:21:29,080 --> 01:21:30,080
Foxy is absolutely brilliant.

767
01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:33,080
Same with Chris, everybody.

768
01:21:33,080 --> 01:21:35,080
Q, I get to be a student too.

769
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:38,080
So I couldn't be happier.

770
01:21:38,080 --> 01:21:40,080
Do the aches and pains bother me?

771
01:21:40,080 --> 01:21:41,080
Yes.

772
01:21:41,080 --> 01:21:50,080
When I'm working in those super cold and I do all the cold water work, I intentionally attack the cold water work because it hurts.

773
01:21:50,080 --> 01:21:57,080
And I prevail and I prevail.

774
01:21:57,080 --> 01:21:59,080
You know, it was worth it.

775
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:01,080
It was worth it to be here.

776
01:22:01,080 --> 01:22:03,080
And I have to warm up a lot longer.

777
01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:07,080
I have to stretch in ways that I'm used to.

778
01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:16,080
I have to load up on NACs, glutamine.

779
01:22:16,080 --> 01:22:22,080
I'm taking right now the BPC157 peptides that I've got to stab into my elbow every day.

780
01:22:22,080 --> 01:22:24,080
But it's worth it.

781
01:22:24,080 --> 01:22:29,080
Also, I don't know if anybody's out there as well.

782
01:22:29,080 --> 01:22:34,080
This has to be said as well because I've noticed a big difference in my life.

783
01:22:34,080 --> 01:22:39,080
I've been on hormone therapy for about three years with my great doctors.

784
01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:40,080
And I'll put this out there.

785
01:22:40,080 --> 01:22:42,080
It's LifeMed Institute.

786
01:22:42,080 --> 01:22:48,080
And they started just by helping NFLers and WWE guys.

787
01:22:48,080 --> 01:22:51,080
And you go, I got my bloods.

788
01:22:51,080 --> 01:22:53,080
I stay for a week.

789
01:22:53,080 --> 01:22:57,080
And my testosterone was OK, medium.

790
01:22:57,080 --> 01:23:00,080
Not at the optimum.

791
01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:05,080
I still don't take it to my optimum, brother, because I get too fucking big.

792
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:10,080
I get myself at three quarters, 80% of where you'd be at 20 years old.

793
01:23:10,080 --> 01:23:11,080
And it's perfect.

794
01:23:11,080 --> 01:23:13,080
I'll tell you what I've noticed.

795
01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:16,080
My brain.

796
01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:19,080
It's just a little snappier.

797
01:23:19,080 --> 01:23:21,080
Less coffee.

798
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:23,080
Less fatigue.

799
01:23:23,080 --> 01:23:35,080
Also, less arthritis from the harshness of my world and my work, my entire life.

800
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:37,080
Having a good doctor.

801
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:40,080
And by the way, it's not exactly cheap.

802
01:23:40,080 --> 01:23:46,080
But if I'm going to invest in my spiritual health, my emotional and relationship health,

803
01:23:46,080 --> 01:23:55,080
if I'm going to invest in my physical fitness health, this has helped me so much and it's worth it.

804
01:23:55,080 --> 01:24:00,080
If you don't got that much money, make more money so that you can first and foremost,

805
01:24:00,080 --> 01:24:06,080
if you're in your middle age, I'm 52, if you're in your middle age, go get your bloods done.

806
01:24:06,080 --> 01:24:13,080
And get your hormones as best as they can for a more vital life.

807
01:24:13,080 --> 01:24:14,080
I recommend it.

808
01:24:14,080 --> 01:24:16,080
I don't have a car.

809
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:17,080
I don't have a car, brother.

810
01:24:17,080 --> 01:24:18,080
I walk everywhere.

811
01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:20,080
I don't like vehicles.

812
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:21,080
I like to walk.

813
01:24:21,080 --> 01:24:24,080
I like to explore my world.

814
01:24:24,080 --> 01:24:29,080
That freaking $700 a month is well worth it.

815
01:24:29,080 --> 01:24:31,080
Well worth it.

816
01:24:31,080 --> 01:24:33,080
It's interesting with the testosterone conversation.

817
01:24:33,080 --> 01:24:34,080
This is massive.

818
01:24:34,080 --> 01:24:37,080
Obviously, you know, sleep deprivation is huge for my community.

819
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:40,080
You know, the head trauma contributes to yours.

820
01:24:40,080 --> 01:24:45,080
But, you know, it wasn't that long ago where most of these men and women went into their doctors.

821
01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:48,080
And if they did even get their testosterone checked,

822
01:24:48,080 --> 01:24:51,080
whether it was an annual wellness check for the fire service, whatever it was,

823
01:24:51,080 --> 01:24:55,080
that physician would be like, oh, you've got, you know, 251, you're fine.

824
01:24:55,080 --> 01:24:58,080
They're talking to a 28-year-old firefighter.

825
01:24:58,080 --> 01:25:00,080
And then it's like, you're not fine at all.

826
01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:01,080
You're tanking.

827
01:25:01,080 --> 01:25:04,080
Yeah, that range is the 80-year-old, not the 18-year-old.

828
01:25:04,080 --> 01:25:05,080
Absolutely.

829
01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:07,080
And the cortisol too.

830
01:25:07,080 --> 01:25:15,080
So I used to take Epamorlin.

831
01:25:15,080 --> 01:25:18,080
It's an incredible peptide that releases your HGH.

832
01:25:18,080 --> 01:25:25,080
You take it just in your skin a little bit every night before you go to bed.

833
01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:32,080
And you feel the heat, Jimmy, the heat drop from your brain here down your body.

834
01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:37,080
You feel tired and then you go to sleep and you stay asleep.

835
01:25:37,080 --> 01:25:41,080
And it's just great for regeneration.

836
01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:47,080
I think after doing that for two years, I just got to a place where I was great with it.

837
01:25:47,080 --> 01:25:50,080
And my body started leveling itself out.

838
01:25:50,080 --> 01:25:52,080
The cortisol is down.

839
01:25:52,080 --> 01:25:56,080
I'm sleeping through the night.

840
01:25:56,080 --> 01:25:57,080
It was well worth it, brother.

841
01:25:57,080 --> 01:26:02,080
First of all, it took an incredible amount of courage for me to even address it.

842
01:26:02,080 --> 01:26:12,080
If I would have known, I would have probably checked myself at 40 as opposed to 48, 49.

843
01:26:12,080 --> 01:26:21,080
However, all things in due time, by the time I was ready to look into my health as a system,

844
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:29,080
I had the stability, the acuity, and the finance to put things in their proper place.

845
01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:32,080
And it's helped me immensely.

846
01:26:32,080 --> 01:26:35,080
So you men and women that are in your middle age,

847
01:26:35,080 --> 01:26:43,080
especially when you are now getting close to retirement or medically separated because of the damage, look into it.

848
01:26:43,080 --> 01:26:48,080
You will notice an incredible improvement when you start getting on some kind of therapy.

849
01:26:48,080 --> 01:26:57,080
I've noticed an amazing improvement, specifically with energy, sleep, and the aches and pains.

850
01:26:57,080 --> 01:27:01,080
Because sometimes, after I'd been on for about a year, I said, let me stretch.

851
01:27:01,080 --> 01:27:03,080
Let me see if this is really working.

852
01:27:03,080 --> 01:27:09,080
So then I started taking my shot instead of once a week, every two weeks.

853
01:27:09,080 --> 01:27:12,080
Then I started trying to stretch it more and more.

854
01:27:12,080 --> 01:27:26,080
And I noticed that as my body slowed back to its natural state, the pain, I mean, serious arthritis started coming back.

855
01:27:26,080 --> 01:27:28,080
It was the pain.

856
01:27:28,080 --> 01:27:41,080
Something about the body's ability to regenerate is taxed as we age or if we've been through immense mental, physical, emotional trauma.

857
01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:47,080
Brother, I didn't sleep for freaking three weeks straight in the invasion.

858
01:27:47,080 --> 01:27:53,080
And then I still, when me and the boys are working, we're doing 20-hour days in the field.

859
01:27:53,080 --> 01:27:56,080
And I've got to do the demonstrations to make it look easy.

860
01:27:56,080 --> 01:28:01,080
In a strange way, it's microtrauma.

861
01:28:01,080 --> 01:28:08,080
We're just doing enough sleep deprivation for a month and a half to supercharge.

862
01:28:08,080 --> 01:28:10,080
Because I'll tell you, I get a lot done.

863
01:28:10,080 --> 01:28:12,080
I come back home my first two weeks, three weeks.

864
01:28:12,080 --> 01:28:13,080
I'm so productive.

865
01:28:13,080 --> 01:28:14,080
I'm so energized.

866
01:28:14,080 --> 01:28:16,080
No drink.

867
01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:23,080
Always in the field and doing something that takes all your mind, body, spirit.

868
01:28:23,080 --> 01:28:27,080
A little bit of that kind of stress is good, but not too much.

869
01:28:27,080 --> 01:28:31,080
And check out your hormonal health.

870
01:28:31,080 --> 01:28:33,080
I highly recommend.

871
01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:35,080
I just can't say it enough.

872
01:28:35,080 --> 01:28:40,080
So the other side of that spectrum that we saw, you have the physician that doesn't know really about that scale.

873
01:28:40,080 --> 01:28:45,080
And they're telling a young gross responder or soldier or Marine, your blood works fine.

874
01:28:45,080 --> 01:28:50,080
And if the physician is not an athlete and a warrior and such.

875
01:28:50,080 --> 01:28:57,080
So at LifeMed, everybody involved there was a prior wrestler, football player, veteran.

876
01:28:57,080 --> 01:28:58,080
You know what I'm saying?

877
01:28:58,080 --> 01:28:59,080
So we know what we're going through.

878
01:28:59,080 --> 01:29:01,080
So go ahead, continue, brother.

879
01:29:01,080 --> 01:29:02,080
No, no problem at all.

880
01:29:02,080 --> 01:29:08,080
So then on the other side, what I've seen is a very predatory element where you've got these men's clinics open up.

881
01:29:08,080 --> 01:29:13,080
And now you've got a 28 year old firefighter that really just needs sleep.

882
01:29:13,080 --> 01:29:19,080
Maybe a strength conditioning program, some things to naturally bolster their hormones.

883
01:29:19,080 --> 01:29:21,080
But now they're being given TRT.

884
01:29:21,080 --> 01:29:22,080
I cannot agree with you more.

885
01:29:22,080 --> 01:29:23,080
Sometimes without fucking blood tests.

886
01:29:23,080 --> 01:29:24,080
I cannot agree with you more.

887
01:29:24,080 --> 01:29:26,080
Yeah, I cannot agree with you more.

888
01:29:26,080 --> 01:29:30,080
There's no reason anybody in their 20s and 30s needs to be doing steroids.

889
01:29:30,080 --> 01:29:46,080
No, let us not confuse audience with what you're seeing in Instagram and all these other things of this fake shell of a life that's obsessed with the gym and the looks.

890
01:29:46,080 --> 01:29:48,080
I'm talking about health.

891
01:29:48,080 --> 01:30:10,080
And if you're 25, 28, bro, remember I led invasions in my late 20s and climbed a bridge when I was 33 years old with 100 pounds of explosives and the bro males, especially we're built for freaking strength, speed and endurance.

892
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:14,080
You start messing with your hormones in those years.

893
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:18,080
It's devastating because you know why I know this.

894
01:30:18,080 --> 01:30:20,080
I'll tell you why I know this.

895
01:30:20,080 --> 01:30:24,080
I have been a clean and natural athlete my entire life.

896
01:30:24,080 --> 01:30:27,080
There's a lot.

897
01:30:27,080 --> 01:30:41,080
I'm not going to say the unit in particular, but let me tell you this in the special operations, even in the 90s, there was an image to there was an image put out.

898
01:30:41,080 --> 01:30:46,080
It shows that you are visceral, strong, big, powerful.

899
01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:54,080
And because we are not in continuous wars, it was competitive to get the mission.

900
01:30:54,080 --> 01:31:00,080
So it actually happened to recon to some of these young guys started doing tons of juice.

901
01:31:00,080 --> 01:31:07,080
I was too innocent to even know such a thing because the policy is there's no drugs in the Marine Corps.

902
01:31:07,080 --> 01:31:15,080
So when I'd come back from combat, I would come back from scouts, I'd be gone three, six, eight months, come back and some of my teammates that are like 20 or 30 pounds bigger.

903
01:31:15,080 --> 01:31:16,080
You know what I said?

904
01:31:16,080 --> 01:31:17,080
I said, we race.

905
01:31:17,080 --> 01:31:19,080
You need to train harder.

906
01:31:19,080 --> 01:31:20,080
And that's what I did.

907
01:31:20,080 --> 01:31:21,080
Really, where is she needed?

908
01:31:21,080 --> 01:31:38,080
I had no idea that we were having a steroid epidemic that eventually led to a death in the barracks because this guy was so amped up and then taken stimulants that he couldn't sleep.

909
01:31:38,080 --> 01:31:40,080
So then he was taken downers.

910
01:31:40,080 --> 01:31:46,080
He died in the barracks and they found him three days later with ants crawling in his eyeballs and his mouth.

911
01:31:46,080 --> 01:31:51,080
And how we found him is the ant room.

912
01:31:51,080 --> 01:31:53,080
No, no, everybody.

913
01:31:53,080 --> 01:31:55,080
I'm talking about health when you're in your middle age.

914
01:31:55,080 --> 01:32:05,080
You need to get your life together with your diet, your exercise, your spiritual practice and your emotional practice before you start looking for drugs to solve your problem.

915
01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:06,080
Absolutely.

916
01:32:06,080 --> 01:32:08,080
Well, I think that in the middle advice.

917
01:32:08,080 --> 01:32:09,080
Yeah.

918
01:32:09,080 --> 01:32:10,080
And it's great advice.

919
01:32:10,080 --> 01:32:14,080
And with life, mad your company and I've got one transcenders who I use.

920
01:32:14,080 --> 01:32:16,080
I take the are they great?

921
01:32:16,080 --> 01:32:17,080
Yeah.

922
01:32:17,080 --> 01:32:18,080
They're 157.

923
01:32:18,080 --> 01:32:19,080
They've even got a nonprofit arm.

924
01:32:19,080 --> 01:32:30,080
So if you are a first responder or a military member that's struggling and needs to be able to get on some of this to get your feet under you, they have a nonprofit called the Transcend Foundation as well.

925
01:32:30,080 --> 01:32:31,080
But this is so beautiful.

926
01:32:31,080 --> 01:32:35,080
They have TRT when it's needed, but they have the peptides.

927
01:32:35,080 --> 01:32:37,080
And you and I have both experienced that.

928
01:32:37,080 --> 01:32:38,080
And I had the same thing.

929
01:32:38,080 --> 01:32:39,080
They gave me some.

930
01:32:39,080 --> 01:32:42,080
I had to taper down because naturally my T actually was good.

931
01:32:42,080 --> 01:32:44,080
Did you just get big as hell?

932
01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:46,080
I started crying and I felt my nipples got twice the size.

933
01:32:46,080 --> 01:32:50,080
So that was a big.

934
01:32:50,080 --> 01:33:00,080
Well, if you're in if you're an athlete and think about your tissues and everything, you're used to pushing yourself hard and performing hard.

935
01:33:00,080 --> 01:33:03,080
You've got robust tendons, tissue and bones.

936
01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:05,080
Then you bring your hormones back online.

937
01:33:05,080 --> 01:33:08,080
Next thing you know, you're just, you know, like that.

938
01:33:08,080 --> 01:33:10,080
So I I had the same thing.

939
01:33:10,080 --> 01:33:11,080
So I've tapered mine down.

940
01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:14,080
I don't take much at all a week.

941
01:33:14,080 --> 01:33:16,080
You know, five little units.

942
01:33:16,080 --> 01:33:21,080
But initially it was seven and every like six days.

943
01:33:21,080 --> 01:33:25,080
And now I do five for every 10.

944
01:33:25,080 --> 01:33:28,080
Boy, I just got so big and strong.

945
01:33:28,080 --> 01:33:31,080
And believe it or not, because I still have to do endurance work.

946
01:33:31,080 --> 01:33:35,080
It was very it was getting more difficult for me to run and swim.

947
01:33:35,080 --> 01:33:37,080
I did feel great.

948
01:33:37,080 --> 01:33:40,080
But I just thought about balance somewhere in the middle.

949
01:33:40,080 --> 01:33:43,080
Less pain, better recovery.

950
01:33:43,080 --> 01:33:50,080
And a little bit better brain like I don't have the brain fog.

951
01:33:50,080 --> 01:33:52,080
The peptides, absolutely amazing.

952
01:33:52,080 --> 01:33:55,080
They tend to be more expensive.

953
01:33:55,080 --> 01:33:58,080
And remember, and LifeMed always takes care of me.

954
01:33:58,080 --> 01:34:04,080
LifeMed always gives discounts to first responders, police and veterans, military.

955
01:34:04,080 --> 01:34:07,080
They they do they do it all there.

956
01:34:07,080 --> 01:34:10,080
They do floating.

957
01:34:10,080 --> 01:34:12,080
They do cryotherapy.

958
01:34:12,080 --> 01:34:14,080
I mean, because it's about health.

959
01:34:14,080 --> 01:34:17,080
It's not about L.A. bodybuilding.

960
01:34:17,080 --> 01:34:19,080
It's not L.A. bodybuilding.

961
01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:20,080
It is our health.

962
01:34:20,080 --> 01:34:28,080
And with men and women having to be in the workforce for longer, if you you must invest in your health because you've got to perform longer.

963
01:34:28,080 --> 01:34:29,080
Look at me.

964
01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:31,080
I'm in a new role.

965
01:34:31,080 --> 01:34:34,080
I've been I've been the entertainment business in a sense.

966
01:34:34,080 --> 01:34:44,080
Now, with a new beginning with the biggest agency in the world, which most men would be going through at 25, I'm doing it 52.

967
01:34:44,080 --> 01:34:50,080
I need to perform and prepare myself mentally, physically, spiritually to do that.

968
01:34:50,080 --> 01:34:52,080
That is how it should be approached.

969
01:34:52,080 --> 01:35:10,080
Not over overcoming, overcoming poor self-esteem and or emotional and parental trauma with narcissism and no healing in between.

970
01:35:10,080 --> 01:35:12,080
You see what I'm saying?

971
01:35:12,080 --> 01:35:19,080
Absolutely. Yeah, I think that's that's sadly another massive red flag is we see this in social media is that narcissism.

972
01:35:19,080 --> 01:35:23,080
And again, it's not you can manifest into a very kind of ugly kind of person.

973
01:35:23,080 --> 01:35:26,080
But more often than not, it's just, you know, I need to put myself out there.

974
01:35:26,080 --> 01:35:34,080
And even I mean, I'll be honest, even the podcast, maybe I swing too far the other way, but I never put my face out there because I'm like, well, this is a clip of Rudy talking.

975
01:35:34,080 --> 01:35:36,080
My face doesn't need to be next to Tim.

976
01:35:36,080 --> 01:35:37,080
That's great, brother.

977
01:35:37,080 --> 01:35:39,080
I love you. By the way, I don't know.

978
01:35:39,080 --> 01:35:42,080
You might have noticed.

979
01:35:42,080 --> 01:35:43,080
Of course, you notice.

980
01:35:43,080 --> 01:35:49,080
I always send you those really emotional and powerful things I find. I send them to you.

981
01:35:49,080 --> 01:35:50,080
Yes. Right.

982
01:35:50,080 --> 01:36:00,080
I I have a I have a strange relationship with social media.

983
01:36:00,080 --> 01:36:09,080
Sometimes I feel about I feel just how distracting and destructive it is.

984
01:36:09,080 --> 01:36:19,080
And so I I say to myself, if I'm doing super high end projects, then naturally I've got whole organisms that build that send these amazing things I'm doing.

985
01:36:19,080 --> 01:36:24,080
And then I just share. I just try to share what I'm going through with my life.

986
01:36:24,080 --> 01:36:37,080
Now that I am working in another in a higher capacity, there's a big push from my professional team to be more of a business with the social media.

987
01:36:37,080 --> 01:36:42,080
And it's really hard for me because I grew up analog and I don't mean the tech I can use.

988
01:36:42,080 --> 01:36:47,080
I know how to use all the tech. It's that I give enough.

989
01:36:47,080 --> 01:36:52,080
I don't know how much more I want people inside my life here.

990
01:36:52,080 --> 01:37:07,080
So I think I've got a healthy balance of giving and sharing what I believe in and helping people, but not addicted to having people look at me.

991
01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:08,080
Do you get what I mean?

992
01:37:08,080 --> 01:37:13,080
No, exactly. Not needing the feedback and validation from other people.

993
01:37:13,080 --> 01:37:16,080
No. And it's so interesting.

994
01:37:16,080 --> 01:37:22,080
You know, so I've got Jay shot some stuff with me at the gym the other day kickboxing.

995
01:37:22,080 --> 01:37:25,080
And, you know, I don't lift weights traditionally.

996
01:37:25,080 --> 01:37:29,080
I always work around fitness and VO2 max. I don't bodybuild.

997
01:37:29,080 --> 01:37:32,080
I am an athlete. I'm an athlete. I'm not a bodybuilder.

998
01:37:32,080 --> 01:37:36,080
Bodybuilding is an athletic all unto its own.

999
01:37:36,080 --> 01:37:42,080
But for what I need, a body that's fast, strong, has endurance and mobility.

1000
01:37:42,080 --> 01:37:45,080
You know, that's why I practice head kicks all the time.

1001
01:37:45,080 --> 01:37:53,080
Because if you can always be kickboxing head kicks, then you've got mobility. Right.

1002
01:37:53,080 --> 01:38:02,080
The last thing I want to do as of late is do anything fitness on my IG, even though I'm going to come back to it because I know it's maybe what people need.

1003
01:38:02,080 --> 01:38:06,080
But what I want to do is nothing to do with fitness.

1004
01:38:06,080 --> 01:38:11,080
I want to talk about what's happening emotionally, culturally in our country and our world.

1005
01:38:11,080 --> 01:38:19,080
I want to talk about the most destabilized planet that I've ever seen in my 52 years.

1006
01:38:19,080 --> 01:38:27,080
I want to talk about a more dangerous world than what I was growing up in with the Cold War, with what's happening here.

1007
01:38:27,080 --> 01:38:35,080
I want to talk about what's missing in our young people.

1008
01:38:35,080 --> 01:38:45,080
Where is their respect, humility and curiosity?

1009
01:38:45,080 --> 01:38:48,080
Those three things, they're gone.

1010
01:38:48,080 --> 01:38:57,080
We are now in the world of not semper fi, always faithful, semper I.

1011
01:38:57,080 --> 01:39:17,080
Brother, I have had some things out there and I get trolled by young men and women who my my toenail clipping has more life experience and more insight than maybe they ever will.

1012
01:39:17,080 --> 01:39:32,080
I grew up in a time where we would never think of talking to an elder, specifically an elder that has competence in in professions and realms that require true sacrifice and intelligence.

1013
01:39:32,080 --> 01:39:33,080
I would never, ever.

1014
01:39:33,080 --> 01:39:42,080
I remember when I was 21 or 22 being around my Kung Fu teaching, my other buddy, Tim, his brother, Mark, was a ranger.

1015
01:39:42,080 --> 01:39:47,080
And after being a ranger, picked up a commission and that was an officer.

1016
01:39:47,080 --> 01:39:53,080
And every time he'd come to town, I'd make sure I was at that barbecue just to be around, just to listen.

1017
01:39:53,080 --> 01:39:58,080
His dad was a CIA agent.

1018
01:39:58,080 --> 01:40:04,080
You know, when my cousin would come to town who was in the Marine Corps, I just want to be around.

1019
01:40:04,080 --> 01:40:11,080
I want to listen and just be around in this new space right now with this hyper speed of technology.

1020
01:40:11,080 --> 01:40:16,080
And narcissistic self gratification.

1021
01:40:16,080 --> 01:40:18,080
The communication is skewed.

1022
01:40:18,080 --> 01:40:21,080
The world is skewed.

1023
01:40:21,080 --> 01:40:29,080
People are not operating in their highest spiritual function.

1024
01:40:29,080 --> 01:40:34,080
And when we're young, that is when we're most vibrant.

1025
01:40:34,080 --> 01:40:48,080
When I was 21 or 22, seven days a week training outdoors in my Kung Fu, riding my bike to my job, whether it was doing demolition, construction, bus and tables or waiting tables,

1026
01:40:48,080 --> 01:41:00,080
cooking my own food and going to Barnes and Noble for my coffee to read books and then every week get my comic books and a book and normally on strategy or history.

1027
01:41:00,080 --> 01:41:06,080
What a rich life. What a rich life.

1028
01:41:06,080 --> 01:41:09,080
Where did that go?

1029
01:41:09,080 --> 01:41:11,080
Where did that go?

1030
01:41:11,080 --> 01:41:13,080
It needs to be brought back.

1031
01:41:13,080 --> 01:41:15,080
People need to start having some respect.

1032
01:41:15,080 --> 01:41:24,080
People also need to start looking at finances, geopolitics, which has to do with trade and trade.

1033
01:41:24,080 --> 01:41:30,080
Of course, the only reason why we have any kind of decent trade in America is our military.

1034
01:41:30,080 --> 01:41:33,080
So the world's a very complex place.

1035
01:41:33,080 --> 01:41:39,080
We've got so many people that are operating and vibrating at the lowest common denominator.

1036
01:41:39,080 --> 01:41:44,080
It's either power or disenfranchised.

1037
01:41:44,080 --> 01:41:52,080
It's either conqueror or victim.

1038
01:41:52,080 --> 01:41:58,080
It's either humanist or Nazi.

1039
01:41:58,080 --> 01:42:10,080
So if you believe in strength or firearms, Nazi, you believe in law and order, Nazi or a humanist, that means you accept everything.

1040
01:42:10,080 --> 01:42:14,080
And that's not the case either.

1041
01:42:14,080 --> 01:42:22,080
If you're a serious person, meaning that you're taking on responsibilities, life is very nuanced.

1042
01:42:22,080 --> 01:42:33,080
And there's some things that are happening right now culturally and economically and militarily that are really bothering me.

1043
01:42:33,080 --> 01:42:35,080
We might just lose Taiwan.

1044
01:42:35,080 --> 01:42:43,080
If we lose Taiwan, do our American people and our European people too, because if America falls, the whole world falls.

1045
01:42:43,080 --> 01:42:46,080
If this place falls, the whole world falls.

1046
01:42:46,080 --> 01:42:55,080
If we lose Taiwan or we lose Israel, what are going to happen in those regions?

1047
01:42:55,080 --> 01:42:58,080
Why isn't anybody talking about those things?

1048
01:42:58,080 --> 01:43:00,080
Instead, it's about all these other distractions.

1049
01:43:00,080 --> 01:43:06,080
And that's what I want to talk about on my social media, but you know why I don't?

1050
01:43:06,080 --> 01:43:16,080
We don't have the space at the time to get into the nuance, the history and the depth of such things.

1051
01:43:16,080 --> 01:43:20,080
And I'll leave myself open to a bunch of trolls that don't have any experience.

1052
01:43:20,080 --> 01:43:26,080
So instead, I'm just going to try to stay positive, work on the physical, mental, emotional fitness,

1053
01:43:26,080 --> 01:43:32,080
and keep the kids inspired to be more in their bodies and be more in their families and be more in their studies.

1054
01:43:32,080 --> 01:43:34,080
And I'll stay there.

1055
01:43:34,080 --> 01:43:36,080
That's what I've been going through lately, brother.

1056
01:43:36,080 --> 01:43:44,080
Oh my gosh, bro. I've actually had some anxiety waking up sometimes with anxiety because, you know,

1057
01:43:44,080 --> 01:43:47,080
we just had an assassination attempt.

1058
01:43:47,080 --> 01:43:49,080
We've got an election coming up.

1059
01:43:49,080 --> 01:43:52,080
I travel the country and the world.

1060
01:43:52,080 --> 01:43:56,080
I see so much destabilization.

1061
01:43:56,080 --> 01:44:07,080
I see in a time where we've never had more resources, emotional and spiritual poverty in our country,

1062
01:44:07,080 --> 01:44:13,080
we need to right the ship and it's going to take all of us.

1063
01:44:13,080 --> 01:44:21,080
Maybe the future is, James, I need to start preparing myself in the future to run for local office of some sort

1064
01:44:21,080 --> 01:44:27,080
and then I can actually start taking charge of representing people that's in their best interest,

1065
01:44:27,080 --> 01:44:36,080
not in corporate interests, not in bankers' interests, not in pharma's interests, but in the people's interests.

1066
01:44:36,080 --> 01:44:39,080
That's kind of where I'm at right now, brother.

1067
01:44:39,080 --> 01:44:46,080
There was a horrendous knife attack in England a few days ago and a 17-year-old killed a lot of kids,

1068
01:44:46,080 --> 01:44:52,080
from what I know of as now and then obviously some other people, children and adults, are fighting for their lives.

1069
01:44:52,080 --> 01:45:00,080
The knee jerk was a load of white supremacists bussed down from another town and then started a riot in that town.

1070
01:45:00,080 --> 01:45:10,080
Now, this child that did this killing was from Wales, born in Wales and then lived in England, and he has parents from Rwanda.

1071
01:45:10,080 --> 01:45:14,080
These guys came down and then they started terrorizing the mosques.

1072
01:45:14,080 --> 01:45:18,080
Well, Rwanda is not a Muslim country, it's a Christian country.

1073
01:45:18,080 --> 01:45:22,080
Sure, it's Christian. However, a place ripe with genocide.

1074
01:45:22,080 --> 01:45:29,080
Yeah, exactly. So, horrendous violence, you talk about multi-generational trauma, but the point being you have that.

1075
01:45:29,080 --> 01:45:34,080
Now, the day after that, and there was like 39 police officers hurt in that riot,

1076
01:45:34,080 --> 01:45:45,080
the day after that, I saw a beautiful video that I shared of some local people cleaning up the streets and helping them rebuild the walls from the bricks.

1077
01:45:45,080 --> 01:45:47,080
That is the problem with social media.

1078
01:45:47,080 --> 01:45:53,080
Everyone wants you to see the riot video and everyone ignores the people building the bricks,

1079
01:45:53,080 --> 01:45:58,080
but I truly believe in my heart of hearts that most people are still brick builders.

1080
01:45:58,080 --> 01:46:03,080
The problem is we are having hate and division projected on us.

1081
01:46:03,080 --> 01:46:10,080
I've said this many, many, many times recently in the last decade at least,

1082
01:46:10,080 --> 01:46:17,080
every person who's either vied for the presidency or obtained it has been divisive themselves.

1083
01:46:17,080 --> 01:46:24,080
So, all the way from the very top, because of our broken system, we've had this division sprayed at us.

1084
01:46:24,080 --> 01:46:27,080
We're told you're horrible people, you're not united.

1085
01:46:27,080 --> 01:46:36,080
I say fucking bullshit. Most people have that kind of 9-12 mentality, but the problem is they're being bombarded with,

1086
01:46:36,080 --> 01:46:39,080
just think about you, fuck the other guys.

1087
01:46:39,080 --> 01:46:46,080
So, it's skewing what I would argue are incredible human beings, because there are so many examples of the humanity in this country,

1088
01:46:46,080 --> 01:46:50,080
but they don't make it on the news because they want the cliques and the division.

1089
01:46:50,080 --> 01:46:57,080
And because remember we have vote, and by the way, our political system is still the best in the world.

1090
01:46:57,080 --> 01:47:02,080
There ain't nobody close to it. I mean, man, I just got back from freaking UK.

1091
01:47:02,080 --> 01:47:07,080
First of all, Billy Billingham lives in Florida. That says it all.

1092
01:47:07,080 --> 01:47:09,080
Oh, does he? Whereabouts?

1093
01:47:09,080 --> 01:47:12,080
Oh, yeah, down in West Palm.

1094
01:47:12,080 --> 01:47:13,080
Okay.

1095
01:47:13,080 --> 01:47:21,080
However, still our system is this. It cost so much money to run.

1096
01:47:21,080 --> 01:47:26,080
And where do we, I mean, look, how are we going to get any money?

1097
01:47:26,080 --> 01:47:28,080
We're spending our money for our families.

1098
01:47:28,080 --> 01:47:35,080
So, to run for office, even smaller offices, it costs money.

1099
01:47:35,080 --> 01:47:37,080
So, you make deals.

1100
01:47:37,080 --> 01:47:47,080
You make deals, and oftentimes those that can raise the most money and sometimes have the least amount of scruples will make deals with the devil.

1101
01:47:47,080 --> 01:47:49,080
They get elected.

1102
01:47:49,080 --> 01:47:59,080
And one thing that no one's talked about, and I think they brought it up maybe 30 years ago, is election reform,

1103
01:47:59,080 --> 01:48:11,080
meaning a cap on what money could be spent so that candidates actually have to run on the issues and do the work of being out there with the people,

1104
01:48:11,080 --> 01:48:15,080
not bombarded with TV and media, which is very effective.

1105
01:48:15,080 --> 01:48:22,080
I mean, remember, this is psychological warfare. This is, this is, um, sions, right?

1106
01:48:22,080 --> 01:48:27,080
It's, it's so challenging. It's so, so challenging.

1107
01:48:27,080 --> 01:48:39,080
If only Americans could continue to remind themselves what has made this country so stable and great and profitable is,

1108
01:48:39,080 --> 01:48:43,080
first of all, we've been blessed to have two big oceans on either side.

1109
01:48:43,080 --> 01:48:47,080
Next, we have so many resources.

1110
01:48:47,080 --> 01:49:00,080
Next, we have such an influx or did of people around the world to build and create infrastructure and small business.

1111
01:49:00,080 --> 01:49:07,080
But the common denominator is that we are all excited to be American.

1112
01:49:07,080 --> 01:49:10,080
Young people need to be taught these things.

1113
01:49:10,080 --> 01:49:19,080
And middle aged people need to keep their finger on the pulse and remember the goodness and the beauty of the country,

1114
01:49:19,080 --> 01:49:21,080
not what's tearing us apart.

1115
01:49:21,080 --> 01:49:25,080
And it's a big ask, but it's not impossible.

1116
01:49:25,080 --> 01:49:28,080
I'm doing my part. I'm doing my part.

1117
01:49:28,080 --> 01:49:35,080
And and we've got to keep inspiring others to do theirs.

1118
01:49:35,080 --> 01:49:39,080
I mean, you know, our education system is not what it was.

1119
01:49:39,080 --> 01:49:51,080
There's a lot of things that are the after effects of us in America becoming so wealthy in the banking and so wealthy in overseas labor.

1120
01:49:51,080 --> 01:49:57,080
That we lost that American great culture that makes us so special.

1121
01:49:57,080 --> 01:50:01,080
Maybe it's it's not all gone. But we got to bring it back.

1122
01:50:01,080 --> 01:50:03,080
You got to find ways to bring that back. You know, why?

1123
01:50:03,080 --> 01:50:15,080
Why in this day and age chains are we talking about racism in this country when I was fighting beside my southern white brothers,

1124
01:50:15,080 --> 01:50:25,080
my black brothers from Chicago, my Puerto Rican brother from Puerto Rico and my Filipino who's from the Philippines and has his green card fighting with me,

1125
01:50:25,080 --> 01:50:30,080
fighting for the country with no care of our own lives.

1126
01:50:30,080 --> 01:50:35,080
Matter of fact, I would die to get the dead body of a brother back.

1127
01:50:35,080 --> 01:50:42,080
Did we who all share the same freaking color, most importantly, and that's the blood, the color red, which is our blood.

1128
01:50:42,080 --> 01:50:46,080
Twenty five years ago, we do this together.

1129
01:50:46,080 --> 01:50:55,080
And now it's falling apart to this kind of ridiculousness that that is being stoked for votes one way or the other.

1130
01:50:55,080 --> 01:50:58,080
I can't believe it. It bothers me. It makes me angry.

1131
01:50:58,080 --> 01:51:02,080
It makes me angry because I fought for this country and this is where we're at.

1132
01:51:02,080 --> 01:51:05,080
It's hard. It's hard.

1133
01:51:05,080 --> 01:51:13,080
I lean into my faith and I lean into my family and that brings that and I play with my animals and I get get myself back to center.

1134
01:51:13,080 --> 01:51:21,080
But I think, you know what? A lot of us that sacrifice for our country in our community, this bothers us a lot.

1135
01:51:21,080 --> 01:51:24,080
It bothers me. I've said this a few times.

1136
01:51:24,080 --> 01:51:28,080
The moment the way it's set up, it's a demastocracy.

1137
01:51:28,080 --> 01:51:30,080
So it's projected as democracy.

1138
01:51:30,080 --> 01:51:35,080
But if you're not a millionaire with no ethics, you're not going to be able to succeed.

1139
01:51:35,080 --> 01:51:38,080
And so this is the thing. It's not about left or right.

1140
01:51:38,080 --> 01:51:46,080
It's about us coming together and being reminded like, oh, I forgot we pay these people and then we're doing what they tell us.

1141
01:51:46,080 --> 01:51:50,080
So we need to change the system because the drugs change the dynamic.

1142
01:51:50,080 --> 01:51:54,080
Yeah, the drug companies are the ones behind, for example, the opioid crisis.

1143
01:51:54,080 --> 01:51:59,080
The sugar companies and fast food companies are behind the obesity epidemic.

1144
01:51:59,080 --> 01:52:01,080
Profit at all costs.

1145
01:52:01,080 --> 01:52:03,080
Yeah. And then don't even get into weapons manufacturers.

1146
01:52:03,080 --> 01:52:12,080
I mean, where's the checks and balances for stopping as many conflicts as we can from happening in the first place through diplomacy rather than more shit.

1147
01:52:12,080 --> 01:52:15,080
I make weapons. Let's get another war going.

1148
01:52:15,080 --> 01:52:20,080
I think there's a there. I think there's both need to be worked.

1149
01:52:20,080 --> 01:52:25,080
We absolutely need to show some hard power where it counts.

1150
01:52:25,080 --> 01:52:31,080
Taiwan, because we just like we lost Hong Kong, it'll never come back.

1151
01:52:31,080 --> 01:52:35,080
Show hard power. Remember, peace through strength.

1152
01:52:35,080 --> 01:52:47,080
Not. Not strength by all means and by all costs necessary.

1153
01:52:47,080 --> 01:52:59,080
Also, you know, with with all of our industries, if it does not have the ethics and the morals behind it, then it's simply consumerism and commercialism.

1154
01:52:59,080 --> 01:53:02,080
And there is no soul there.

1155
01:53:02,080 --> 01:53:07,080
We are a spiritual being having a physical existence here.

1156
01:53:07,080 --> 01:53:15,080
We need to remind ourselves that that freaking spiritual, that soul, our character.

1157
01:53:15,080 --> 01:53:20,080
It has to be something that we refine and we polish every day.

1158
01:53:20,080 --> 01:53:25,080
And I hear you, brother. I hear you.

1159
01:53:25,080 --> 01:53:32,080
It's we're talking about the very nature of mankind.

1160
01:53:32,080 --> 01:53:49,080
Some of us are exceptionally driven for duty and for honorable humanism, which honor normally means sacrifice, sacrifice.

1161
01:53:49,080 --> 01:54:03,080
A lot of us are just good workers and decent family people and.

1162
01:54:03,080 --> 01:54:09,080
And don't have too much spiritual or material ambition.

1163
01:54:09,080 --> 01:54:19,080
And then there's some of us that are downright evil and they could be the freaking MSD, MS 13 gangs or the cats on Wall Street.

1164
01:54:19,080 --> 01:54:23,080
Scenting.

1165
01:54:23,080 --> 01:54:34,080
Not everybody is a true believer like us, brother, where, you know, we go into danger and put our lives on the line for others, people we don't even know.

1166
01:54:34,080 --> 01:54:37,080
Not everyone's like that. Some of us are that way.

1167
01:54:37,080 --> 01:54:43,080
But there's a lot of good folks that need our inspiration and our protection.

1168
01:54:43,080 --> 01:54:49,080
We got to remember them and keep those freaking sociopathic psychopathic bastards.

1169
01:54:49,080 --> 01:54:59,080
We keep them at bay best we can at the top and at the bottom, safer streets and.

1170
01:54:59,080 --> 01:55:01,080
Corporate power needs to be checked.

1171
01:55:01,080 --> 01:55:08,080
I think that ties well into the mental health conversation, too. I had an amazing guy on a couple of times, Johan Hari.

1172
01:55:08,080 --> 01:55:14,080
And one of the quotes on from one of his books is the opposite of addiction is not sobriety.

1173
01:55:14,080 --> 01:55:17,080
The opposite of addiction is connection.

1174
01:55:17,080 --> 01:55:25,080
And so if you write your community, you fracture patriotism, not nationalism, patriotism, then that has an impact on the mental health.

1175
01:55:25,080 --> 01:55:35,080
And we saw it in covid that not only that you have to stay in your house away from family and friends, but also, by the way, if they don't wear a mask or have a vaccine, they're the enemy now.

1176
01:55:35,080 --> 01:55:42,080
So I think by pushing back on this political corruption, you're also making a dent on the mental health crisis.

1177
01:55:42,080 --> 01:55:49,080
Absolutely, brother. By the way, you know, I was leveraged so hard when I went to go work.

1178
01:55:49,080 --> 01:55:53,080
I went to work for Minnow Films and Channel 4.

1179
01:55:53,080 --> 01:56:02,080
And by the way, I love the UK. My UK brothers and sisters are freaking amazing.

1180
01:56:02,080 --> 01:56:17,080
But the I've and, you know, I've been in Europe, Italy, Finland, Estonia, France, Germany, Greece, all over Africa, all over freaking Asia, all over.

1181
01:56:17,080 --> 01:56:40,080
Right. This socialism that's borderline, that's tyrannical, masquerading as caring for everyone when actually only the people at the very top are making gross amounts of money and can control the way people think.

1182
01:56:40,080 --> 01:56:50,080
I'll just say this, that I I'll just say that I was leveraged very heavy to get those vaccines or else I wouldn't work.

1183
01:56:50,080 --> 01:57:06,080
I wouldn't work and now have an opportunity to have my son in my life and my wonderful wife, Jade, and have some stability in my life for the first time since I was an active duty recon marine, which, by the way, that took me risking my life every day.

1184
01:57:06,080 --> 01:57:14,080
And that was on the table. And and all I will say is that I have the paperwork.

1185
01:57:14,080 --> 01:57:28,080
But me being me seeing regimes changed and psychological warfare for war implemented because I've been involved with it.

1186
01:57:28,080 --> 01:57:40,080
I was witnessing this push for mandates, vaccines, which, by the way, there's no way anyone can possibly tell me that in six months they've done the proper testing.

1187
01:57:40,080 --> 01:57:45,080
Remember, it just came out of nowhere. The vaccines.

1188
01:57:45,080 --> 01:57:49,080
I mean, I'm not that smart of a guy, but Billy and I, we talked about this.

1189
01:57:49,080 --> 01:57:55,080
Do you know that the malaria medication that we have to take every day when we're out there in warfare, that took him 20 years to develop.

1190
01:57:55,080 --> 01:58:00,080
And it still had. Oh, my God, bro. I got three anthrax shots.

1191
01:58:00,080 --> 01:58:04,080
The third one almost killed me because we were mandated to get them.

1192
01:58:04,080 --> 01:58:11,080
And so when all of this rolled out, I said, wait a second.

1193
01:58:11,080 --> 01:58:18,080
I'm not I'm not opposed to something that's been tested and works.

1194
01:58:18,080 --> 01:58:25,080
But if I was the only one that was seeing this as a money grab in a population control, I don't know what everybody else was doing.

1195
01:58:25,080 --> 01:58:28,080
They just so afraid. Were they so afraid?

1196
01:58:28,080 --> 01:58:39,080
I think the biggest lie was the efficacy. And I just literally last year pushed out an episode with Greg Yacoubian, who is a LAPD officer turned lawyer.

1197
01:58:39,080 --> 01:58:47,080
And he is still to see this is amazing, but he's still defending police officers and firefighters who are still being terminated because of the vaccine mandates.

1198
01:58:47,080 --> 01:58:51,080
I had one on John Knox a few months ago. And this is what's crazy.

1199
01:58:51,080 --> 01:58:53,080
And I remember, you know, they said about trust of science.

1200
01:58:53,080 --> 01:59:00,080
Most people in medicine were like, well, then exactly trust the science. You're wrong. What the fuck you got to do the science first.

1201
01:59:00,080 --> 01:59:03,080
Yeah, you got to do the science first. You got to do the trials. You've got to tell me.

1202
01:59:03,080 --> 01:59:08,080
But even the even the distances, I mean, immediately as a first responder, you're like, this is bullshit.

1203
01:59:08,080 --> 01:59:12,080
Like that one mask that we are only supposed to wear for an hour.

1204
01:59:12,080 --> 01:59:18,080
We have fit testing for that mask and your grandmother knitted you a mask and you're a mask. Shame in the guy next year.

1205
01:59:18,080 --> 01:59:21,080
It was crazy. But so the efficacy wasn't there.

1206
01:59:21,080 --> 01:59:25,080
And then it was definitely downgrading the response for some people.

1207
01:59:25,080 --> 01:59:30,080
So it was saving lives because I was having, you know, ER people and ICU people on the show.

1208
01:59:30,080 --> 01:59:33,080
And they were like, yeah, the vaccinated people seem to do better.

1209
01:59:33,080 --> 01:59:39,080
But that's a whole different conversation than if you take this vaccine, you can't spread it, which is what was told to everyone.

1210
01:59:39,080 --> 01:59:43,080
And that was a fucking totally, totally, absolutely.

1211
01:59:43,080 --> 01:59:48,080
How about this to negligible effects, if any, for children?

1212
01:59:48,080 --> 01:59:56,080
And they were sticking this shit that nobody really knows into little kids and then not letting them go to school.

1213
01:59:56,080 --> 01:59:59,080
And how about this one, too? I got to bring it up.

1214
01:59:59,080 --> 02:00:11,080
Got to bring it up in America and in the UK and some other European countries that are super stable and got plenty of money are poor or not poor here.

1215
02:00:11,080 --> 02:00:17,080
Trust me, I've been to poverty. This is not nobody's poor here in America.

1216
02:00:17,080 --> 02:00:25,080
That you have made choices continually to not care about your health and your physical fitness.

1217
02:00:25,080 --> 02:00:31,080
That you're dying from a flu because it is like a superfluous heart. Remember, I had it three times.

1218
02:00:31,080 --> 02:00:44,080
You're dying from the flu. A hard super flu, even though you have access to which remember the reason you can imagine Spanish flu way wiped out so many people.

1219
02:00:44,080 --> 02:00:49,080
We didn't have temperature control. We didn't have Gatorade.

1220
02:00:49,080 --> 02:00:56,080
We didn't have some basic things that we got now, right? Because I got through it just with some Gatorade and sweating.

1221
02:00:56,080 --> 02:01:02,080
And it was and one of them was a bitch. But my physical fitness.

1222
02:01:02,080 --> 02:01:15,080
Was at a level that I actually could fight when you've got 30 and 40 and 50 year olds that are morbidly obese and they've already got diabetes and heart problems.

1223
02:01:15,080 --> 02:01:20,080
If they don't care about themselves, why the hell should I care about them too?

1224
02:01:20,080 --> 02:01:31,080
As it regards that now somehow I am responsible for a lifetime of taking for granted the gift of being born in the first place.

1225
02:01:31,080 --> 02:01:39,080
And now through fear, we've all got to take these shots that we don't even we don't we know that they've not had enough testing.

1226
02:01:39,080 --> 02:01:48,080
That's all I'm saying. I mean, so now you want to care about your health and you want to tell everybody else to care about their health, but you're a weak body or you're a fat body.

1227
02:01:48,080 --> 02:02:00,080
Yeah, well, that was the other the other side of the conversation that through the whole COVID, you know, I was saying this look, this is clearly about health and they were saying, oh, it's about health and the vaccine.

1228
02:02:00,080 --> 02:02:09,080
But no, it's about actual health of the nation. So you have a captive audience. Let's start educating people on the health, because to be I'm always very, very fair on this.

1229
02:02:09,080 --> 02:02:15,080
You know, I grew up on a farm in England, so there was a lot of things inbuilt that allowed me to stay healthy in my life.

1230
02:02:15,080 --> 02:02:23,080
If I'd been born in some inner city apartment complex and the bodega was my only place I got my food, very different conversation.

1231
02:02:23,080 --> 02:02:37,080
So environment comes into that ownership. But what an amazing opportunity to put P.E. back in schools, to put real food back in the school kitchens, to give local farmers subsidies to help them grow local farms.

1232
02:02:37,080 --> 02:02:41,080
So you're not shipping it and radiating it. So none of that happened.

1233
02:02:41,080 --> 02:02:50,080
So this is what was so disgusting is we should have come out of the pandemic, starting to turn the corner on the obesity crisis on the mental health crisis.

1234
02:02:50,080 --> 02:03:03,080
But it did the fucking polar opposite. The way that they handled it made people fatter and sicker and dependent and mentally ill, mentally weaker and mentally ill.

1235
02:03:03,080 --> 02:03:13,080
Brother, on that food and environment, my last one, I'll just say it was in the northern areas of the UK.

1236
02:03:13,080 --> 02:03:28,080
I just got back. Oh, my gosh, the fresh sea air, the vegetables from the garden, because our barracks is built at this on a farm.

1237
02:03:28,080 --> 02:03:33,080
We're on a farm, amazing barracks and parade square, everything gnarly as hell.

1238
02:03:33,080 --> 02:03:44,080
We're above the sheep slaughterhouse, but we had fresh beef and lamb and vegetables. Oh, my gosh, bro.

1239
02:03:44,080 --> 02:03:54,080
Me and the guys just felt unstoppable. The farm food from right there, I felt superhuman.

1240
02:03:54,080 --> 02:04:09,080
And we were sleeping four hours a night because of the richness of the food and the incredible, pure, pure air and talk about beauty, the cliffs, the fields, the stone freaking fences.

1241
02:04:09,080 --> 02:04:17,080
Absolutely invigorating, invigorating, brother, you know, it's amazing.

1242
02:04:17,080 --> 02:04:29,080
Well, we've been talking for two hours, so I want to be mindful of your time before I let you go. Are there any areas that you want to make sure that we do discuss that maybe we haven't touched on?

1243
02:04:29,080 --> 02:04:35,080
You know, let's let's take it really personal to stay connected to each other.

1244
02:04:35,080 --> 02:04:40,080
Let's do things physically with each other, meaning showing up.

1245
02:04:40,080 --> 02:04:48,080
Get outside, get into nature, focus on your health. It's not just mental. It's not just physical. It's not spiritual.

1246
02:04:48,080 --> 02:04:56,080
It's all of it. It's health. It's a blessing that all of us have the opportunity to experience life.

1247
02:04:56,080 --> 02:05:00,080
Let's remember that and let's treat it with the respect and honor it deserves.

1248
02:05:00,080 --> 02:05:07,080
And then I don't want to let you go without mentioning Force Blue. So tell everyone what Force Blue does and how they can learn more about that.

1249
02:05:07,080 --> 02:05:12,080
Absolutely. ForceBlueTeam.org. We're a veteran nonprofit.

1250
02:05:12,080 --> 02:05:21,080
Every penny that we raise goes to putting special forces combat divers from around the world repurposing their training.

1251
02:05:21,080 --> 02:05:25,080
And then we do ocean conservation. We save turtles. We rebuild reefs.

1252
02:05:25,080 --> 02:05:31,080
We have a dolphin program, a shark marking program. And most importantly, OCS.

1253
02:05:31,080 --> 02:05:41,080
It is the Ocean Conservation School where we train the children of the fallen Gold Star families and children of severely wounded.

1254
02:05:41,080 --> 02:05:50,080
Now we're opening it up to children of veterans to come learn about ocean conservation, get their advanced open water scuba,

1255
02:05:50,080 --> 02:05:56,080
and then go on mission with us doing subsurface cleanups and rebuilding reefs.

1256
02:05:56,080 --> 02:06:03,080
You want to talk about healing communities by utilizing Mother Nature, science, and private business.

1257
02:06:03,080 --> 02:06:10,080
We're sponsored by Pepsi and the NFL, our science community, traditionally not military.

1258
02:06:10,080 --> 02:06:18,080
Yet they see the same passion and love we have for our world that we also are seeing their same warrior aspects that they have in their world.

1259
02:06:18,080 --> 02:06:25,080
And together, science, warriors, children, and private, we can solve any problem.

1260
02:06:25,080 --> 02:06:30,080
It's incredible. ForceBlueTeam.org. You're going to be blown away. We have films of all of our missions.

1261
02:06:30,080 --> 02:06:33,080
You'll see us at the Super Bowl in New Orleans.

1262
02:06:33,080 --> 02:06:37,080
Fantastic. And then where can people find you online?

1263
02:06:37,080 --> 02:06:45,080
Okay, you can find my simple website, RudyReyes.com, or my Instagram, RealRudyReyes.

1264
02:06:45,080 --> 02:06:51,080
I'm thinking about maybe eventually doing a YouTube or podcast, but I think we already have great dudes doing podcasts.

1265
02:06:51,080 --> 02:06:57,080
I think everybody wants me to do podcasts. I love being a guest on podcasts.

1266
02:06:57,080 --> 02:07:02,080
But just get on RudyReyes.com. I'm wrapped by CAA.

1267
02:07:02,080 --> 02:07:09,080
And check out my Instagram because I put up my physical fitness stuff for free and just try to inspire and motivate people.

1268
02:07:09,080 --> 02:07:13,080
Beautiful. Well, Rudy, I want to say thank you. This has been another incredible conversation.

1269
02:07:13,080 --> 02:07:20,080
The first one we did was episode 638. Like I said, we went down so many different areas in that conversation, too.

1270
02:07:20,080 --> 02:07:23,080
But I want to thank you. This is such an important conversation.

1271
02:07:23,080 --> 02:07:31,080
As I say, when we have alphas, and I use again that term affectionately, people that are out there, tip of the spear, kind of men and women,

1272
02:07:31,080 --> 02:07:41,080
and they are vulnerable and they talk about mental health in the way that we have today, it debunks that mask of masculinity that a lot of us bought into when we were younger.

1273
02:07:41,080 --> 02:07:48,080
So I want to thank you so much for being so generous with your time and coming on the Behind the Shield podcast today.

1274
02:07:48,080 --> 02:07:54,080
Oh, you're so welcome, James. And remember, if you feel something, do something. So look after one another.