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Now to learn more about Thorn, go to episode 323 of the Behind the Shield podcast with

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Joel Titoro and Wes Barnett.

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This episode is sponsored by a company I've literally been using for over 15 years now

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So if you want to hear more about 511 and their origin story, go to episode 338 of Behind

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the Shield podcast with their CEO Francisco Morales.

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Welcome to the Behind the Shield podcast.

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As always my name is James Gearing and this week it is my absolute honor to welcome back

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onto the show veteran law enforcement officer and my friend Nick Hall.

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Now for those of you who haven't heard episode 600, I highly recommend listening to that

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first.

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As a young boy, he and his mother were held up during a hostage situation and by a communication

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error the SWAT team actually shot his mother, not the assailant.

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Now as you can imagine, most of us have probably sent down extreme anger and maybe even vengeance.

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But after a period of healing that we do discuss again, Nick decided to become a police officer

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to become part of the solution.

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So in this second conversation we discuss a host of topics from vasectomies, food prep,

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fitness and law enforcement, his pursuit of SWAT, mental health, leadership and so much

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more.

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Now before we get to this incredible conversation, as I say every week, please just take a moment,

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go to whichever app you listen to this on, subscribe to the show, leave feedback and

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leave a rating.

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Every single five star rating truly does elevate this podcast, therefore making it easier for

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others to find.

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And this is a free library of well over 900 episodes now.

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So all I ask in return is that you help share these incredible men and women stories so

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I can get them to every single person on planet earth who needs to hear them.

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So that being said, I welcome back onto the show, Nick Hall.

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Enjoy.

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Well Nick, I want to start by saying thank you so much for coming back on the Behind

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the Shield podcast.

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We did our first episode, episode 600, face to face in your home and I urge people that

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haven't heard you speak before and tell your story to go to that one first.

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But that being said, life is very different with you now.

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So I want to welcome you back for a part two on the Behind the Shield podcast.

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Thank you, man.

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I appreciate coming back.

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So I knew, what was it, like almost over two years ago we first met.

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I think so, yeah.

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I feel like a lot has changed for me, like family wise and work wise.

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So I'm excited to come back.

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Absolutely.

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Well, icebreaker, as I said before we hit record, how are your balls doing?

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They're still a little swollen, but they're feeling better.

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So I know I got a vasectomy.

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It's been what?

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It's been nine days.

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We're nine days out.

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First operation is a 15 minute procedure.

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So I don't recommend it, but after accidentally having baby number three, it was supposed

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to happen after baby number two.

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And then next thing you know, we have two kids 16 months apart.

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So almost every once.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, that's the thing.

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I've seen the vasectomy clinics.

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They're like, oh, it's a painless procedure.

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And then I'm like every man I know that had it done, you know, it had to be done.

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But at the same time, it would sound like a miserable recovery.

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So I wanted to be knocked out for it because I feel like I do enough.

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I see enough crazy stuff at work.

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So I can like kind of be kind of be soft when it comes to my own health.

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But my wife, she was like, you got to man up and just get it done.

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And she literally had baby number three, like four weeks ago.

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And that was a whole nother episode of we didn't even make it to the hospital bed.

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Like she ended up giving birth in the lobby.

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So yeah, I don't know.

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I forgot.

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I should have told you.

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So yeah, two o'clock in the morning, I'm sleeping on the couch with the one year old just trying

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to like keep him away from her so she can get rest.

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And I hear my phone just going off and I look and she's calling me.

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She's like, I'm having contractions.

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And I was like, oh, no.

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So my mother-in-law comes over to watch the baby and the eight year old and then her water

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breaks.

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I haul probably went like 90 miles an hour down the main road to get to the hospital.

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And so here the labor and delivery is on the fourth floor.

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So when we get there, it's two in the morning or four in the morning, there's no one there.

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So I'll call a call up and say, hey, my wife's in labor.

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I need a we need a wheelchair.

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Someone can bring her up and they're like, OK, we'll be there in a minute.

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And so I'm asking her, I'm like, do you want to wait or do you want to go?

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So let's just go.

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So we get up the elevator, get to the labor and delivery lobby.

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As I'm checking her in, I just hear her screaming behind me and I look and she's like, the heads

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coming out.

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And so there I'm like, hey, we need help.

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I'm telling is me, the security guard and my two like grandmas waiting in the lobby.

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And so I started to pull her pajama pants down and she's like, don't pull my pants down.

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I'm like, OK, I pull them back up.

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And I just had my hands like underneath her.

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And dude, out of nowhere, the baby just drops down.

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I catch the baby like a frickin football and I'm screaming for help.

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The ability of course wrapped around the neck, but I think it just happened when she came

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out.

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So no injuries or nothing.

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Healthy baby.

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But yeah, it was very that was the most adrenaline I've ever had off duty in a while.

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That's amazing.

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For a moment, I was about to push back when your wife said just man up and have the vasectomy

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if she'd had caesarean sections on epidurals.

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But no.

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All right.

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So you need a man up.

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I gotta give her a shout out.

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So three babies, no epidural.

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That was the quickest we've been in and out of the hospital.

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So yeah, when I was getting my balls snipped and they were like, oh man, you're doing pretty

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well putting your pants on.

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And I told him, I said, my wife's just like, shoot a kid out.

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So the least I could do is put my pants on.

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Did the baby like was it born inside the pajama pants?

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It was like half in half out.

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Like my hands went like, like, okay.

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And you went in.

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Yeah, yeah.

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I mean, it was it was one of those things where it's like, man, how did I catch her?

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I don't remember, but I caught it.

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If not, if not, she would have hit the ground.

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So it was like, okay.

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Amazing.

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Amazing.

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Well, for people listening again, if they listen to 600, as far as the the kind of

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depth of the story that we're about to tell, but you're about to tell, excuse me, but

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you just had the anniversary of losing your mother again.

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And so I know that we wanted to kind of revisit that.

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So why don't we start again with, you know, kind of leading us through that story and

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then obviously we'll progress through into the changes in law enforcement that you've

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you've you've had now and then obviously your fatherhood experience.

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Yes.

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I mean, the whole reason why the universe got me and you together, you know, back in

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2000, 24 years ago now, you know, my my mom, me and my sister, who's a baby at the time,

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we had just moved down from Orlando to from New York to Orlando.

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And at the time, there was a guy from down south.

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He ended up robbing a convenience store down in Pompano Beach and ended up killing the

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clerk.

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He fled from Pompano Beach, went up to Orange County.

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Deputies were looking for him at the time.

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They found him in one certain area, initiated a traffic stop on him.

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He ended up shooting a deputy in the leg and fled from there.

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And he fled to our aunt's house.

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It's a little bit a little bit close to sea road area, like unincorporated Orange County

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area.

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He fled there.

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He ended up holding our family hostage at the time.

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So that hostage situation originally lasted about 50 hours.

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And while he was in there, he ended up shooting my cousin in the mouth.

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But he ended up living.

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He's, you know, he's good to this day.

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And after that, like one by one, some of us were able to get out of the house.

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But back then, Orange County SWAT team wasn't as big as it is now.

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I don't know the number now, but due to the standoff lasting so long, they had Orlando

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PD SWAT team.

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They ended up relieving them.

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And once when they relieved them, the exchange of information was, you know, we have a white

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male suspect with a black family.

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So eventually, the SWAT team was trying to lure the gunman out with the food.

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So the game plan was, you know, hey, bring the family food.

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He goes out to get the food and I'm taking a shot.

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So once once that was the plan, he ended up telling me to go get the food and me being

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a little eight year old at the time, I just remember saying, you know, no, I don't want

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to do it.

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I told my mom to go get the food.

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And when she went to go out to the garage, I just remember hearing multiple gunshots.

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And after that, the gunman, he ends up letting me hold my baby sister.

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He covers my head, escorts me out of the house.

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And I'm just asking, you know, the paramedics, they were in the back of an ambulance, they're

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checking on my sister.

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And I'm asking, where's my mom?

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Where's my mom?

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And later on, they tell me, you know, that the SWAT team accidentally shot her instead

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of the suspect.

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So I know back then after that happened, moments later, he ends up killing himself.

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SWAT team ends up going in the house and my 16, I think she was 16 at the time, my other

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cousin and baby cousin were in the house and ended up getting them out.

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And that that tragic moment in my life, I didn't realize it would have such a bearing

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on what what I was going to do now with my adulthood and becoming a cop and then end up

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meeting people that were actually on the call when it happened and seeing SWAT change, how

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they have a target recognition and do things like that in the realm of like police work.

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So I mean, so everything happens for a reason.

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And I feel like, you know, me being a cop down here in Florida was just one of those

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things that I was supposed to do.

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You know,

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when people hear the story, you know, this the knee jerk reaction would obviously just

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be anger and hate, you know, because, you know, someone stole someone trusted in a position

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that we put all our trust in stole your mother.

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Talk to me about and I know we covered this the first time, but I think it's worth revisiting

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the journey that you had as far as your grief and trauma and then what and or who it was

232
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:21,920
that made you turn a corner into being part of the solution rather than carrying that

233
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,680
that hatred with you, which is understandable as well.

234
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,280
Yeah, I mean, it was it was it was tough.

235
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:33,920
And when I see like other people, there's no there's no correct time frame of how long

236
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:38,880
it should take you to mourn the loss of like a loved one, like your parents, you know.

237
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:44,240
So for me growing up, it took a while of because I would always blame myself.

238
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,920
You know, I thought I left the garage door open and I always thought like, hey, this

239
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:48,920
is my fault.

240
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:54,080
I had I had the garage door closed and it wouldn't have happened.

241
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:58,120
And then, you know, I remember they tried to put me in counseling as I was younger,

242
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:03,360
but it didn't really help when I started getting older and starting to have a relationship

243
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,360
with God.

244
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:09,320
That's kind of where I felt more at peace of like everything happens for a reason.

245
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:14,320
And God puts you where you need to be when you need to be there.

246
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:21,880
And once I started getting older towards, you know, 18, 19, I ended up.

247
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:28,160
Well, so I guess after my my mom had passed, I ended up coming to the Rock County to live

248
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,880
with my dad and my stepmom.

249
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:35,080
And ironically, my dad was a cop up in New York.

250
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:39,280
But, you know, living with him, I never it was never really in my head to be

251
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:43,000
in law enforcement just because, you know, kind of seeing what what happened, it was

252
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,960
never you know, I don't want to get into that.

253
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,160
It didn't didn't seem fun.

254
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,840
I was kind of like a computer nerd at the time.

255
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,640
I wanted to do graphic design.

256
00:16:52,640 --> 00:17:00,360
But after having a fallout with my dad and stepmom, you know, found out he was cheating

257
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,360
on my stepmom.

258
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:06,400
Lots of respect for him doing the whole, you know, 18 year rebellious thing.

259
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,760
And anytime they'd leave, go out of town, I would have friends over and smoke weed,

260
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,800
do all that kind of stuff.

261
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,080
And then he found out, kicked me out.

262
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,080
I was homeless.

263
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:22,520
And so I'm just living in my car for about a month, couch surfing at all my friends'

264
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,160
places whenever they were in college.

265
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:31,060
And then at the time, my girlfriend, now my wife, her family ended up letting me stay

266
00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:35,800
with them for what was supposed to be a week, turned into a year.

267
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,720
You know, got my bearings under my feet.

268
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,520
I wanted to start making better decisions, you know, growing up.

269
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:48,160
Like, all right, you know, like, 2021, I want to do something instead of time I was working

270
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,460
construction with my father-in-law.

271
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:54,760
And I realized I want to do more than just work construction in Florida, you know, because

272
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,760
that's not, it's not fun.

273
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:57,760
It's hot.

274
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:03,880
So at that time, I started to think about and self reflect on what what do I want to

275
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:04,880
do?

276
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:10,360
I want to help people and I want to make good decisions and and just try to be be at the

277
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,200
right place at the right time.

278
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:16,560
And initially I thought about being a firefighter, but I'm afraid of heights.

279
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:22,560
So every time I saw the ladder truck, I was like, yeah, I can't, I can't climb that.

280
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,720
So I'm afraid of bullets.

281
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,720
So I feel you.

282
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,560
Yeah, I'd rather get shot than climb a ladder.

283
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,680
It's so funny listening to cops and firefighters.

284
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,040
I could never do your job.

285
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,240
Even wildland, I could never go into a field with a with a speed, you know, and I can never

286
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,960
get into a burning building.

287
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:39,960
So it's hilarious.

288
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:40,960
Listen to everyone talk.

289
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:45,800
So, so yeah, it was really like in between that and then I was like, all right, let me

290
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,800
go.

291
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:47,800
I think I want to be a cop.

292
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,640
And, you know, I talked to them.

293
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:55,800
I told my my mom's side, my aunt, you know, the everybody that was involved, I kind of

294
00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,600
told them when I wanted to do it just to like, you know, let them know and they supported

295
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,600
it.

296
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:09,640
So, you know, it's about 21, you know, getting to the police academy.

297
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:13,920
And yeah, we get into police camp at 21.

298
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:19,440
The wife and I were engaged, end up getting married.

299
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,760
My first it took me about a year to get a job.

300
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:28,800
And when I ended up getting a job, she was pregnant with the first baby at the time.

301
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:34,600
So we ended up working in Cocoa where I met the O.G., Doug Monda, who's doing his thing

302
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:40,120
now with Survive First and, you know, kind of working over there.

303
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:45,040
I saw a lot, you know, did a lot as a high crime area.

304
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:51,560
So I felt like I was grateful for the experience that I had in working in that city.

305
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:58,760
Taught me a lot about myself and and kind of reaffirmed why I wanted to be a cop, because

306
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:04,720
I wanted to be able to be in that situation of if something's going down, like you run

307
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:08,560
towards the fire, man, you like you don't want to stay away from it.

308
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,280
You know, you like you want to help people save people because there's a lot of people

309
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,840
out there that can't help themselves or they're just stuck in a situation where they're living

310
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,480
in a high crime area.

311
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,120
And it's hard for them to make a decision on their own, so they kind of kind of need

312
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:26,480
law enforcement to help with that.

313
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:31,320
You mentioned about when you were younger, seeing the impact of the job on your dad and

314
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,640
therefore didn't really make you want to do that.

315
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,960
And I think this is one of the problems we're seeing with recruitment today is a lot of

316
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,960
a lot of children.

317
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,960
I forget people told me in the military side, there was a huge percentage of military kids

318
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,960
that end up going to the military as well.

319
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:51,680
And they were seeing that fall immensely because their fathers and mothers have been in the

320
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,920
global war on terror for the 20 years.

321
00:20:53,920 --> 00:21:00,480
So their perception of war was very different than probably an 80s military member.

322
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:05,800
But I think this is what's happening now in law enforcement and fire and EMS and dispatch

323
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,000
is in corrections as well.

324
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,800
They're seeing it's not so much the job.

325
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,040
I think it's the environment.

326
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:16,720
It's a preventable element, whether it's the work week, whether it's the lack of support

327
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:22,800
from an organization, the media, the country, whatever it is, that our children are looking

328
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:30,040
at this guy and this doesn't look as good as the TV or the movie show.

329
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,040
So that's today.

330
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:36,440
But what was it when you look back now with a kind of veteran law enforcement perspective,

331
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:42,640
what were the elements of your father's job and the impact on you as a small child that

332
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,560
made you not want to go initially?

333
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:54,080
So I mean, he really when he I guess back in like the 80s, 70s, he was an NYPD.

334
00:21:54,080 --> 00:22:00,000
And he kind of spoke a lot about racism inside the department.

335
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:05,120
And it was like, yeah, I agree it exists.

336
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:10,680
But that was one thing where I never you know, we all experience it at some point.

337
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:17,080
But as far as like, for me, I didn't I didn't see it as something that would like it didn't

338
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,520
just seem like too appeasing for me to want to get into.

339
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:28,480
And then, you know, he ended up medically retiring and he never spoke like too highly

340
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,960
about I want his kids to do it.

341
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:33,880
So it was never something that I thought I'd be wanting to get into.

342
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:41,600
So but once I started getting older and then my kind of reflecting and looking back on

343
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:46,280
because I'm like the realm of like you have and I don't know if you probably have it in

344
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,720
the fire family, too.

345
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:53,040
But like in law enforcement, there's normally you go through like you have your first wife,

346
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:58,760
second wife, third wife, you know, multiple divorce, separate families, this and that.

347
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:05,600
And looking back and just thinking about like his his life with that, like with my mom and

348
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:10,840
my stepmom, it kind of felt like it felt like it felt that same realm of, you know, more

349
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,840
than you know, your first marriage doesn't work out and you have another marriage.

350
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:22,160
And it didn't seem like something I wanted to get into, like living like that.

351
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:27,560
And then around the time when I was graduated high school, 18, and I just saw like what

352
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,600
my stepmom was going through with the affair that he was having.

353
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:36,560
It really just made me like think, you know, he's kind of like a scumbag.

354
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:41,360
It's not the that's not something that I look up to as like what I want to be.

355
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:48,040
And once after going through everything I did with my wife, you know, her being there

356
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:53,080
for me, like she was literally driving back and forth, bringing me food as I'm homeless,

357
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,080
sleeping in a car.

358
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:58,520
And, you know, just kind of realize like she's been there for me since day one.

359
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,720
I got to do right by her.

360
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:07,440
And it was funny, one of the first lieutenants when I was working at Coco, he made a joke

361
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,160
when he first met her and he was like, Oh, this is your starter wife.

362
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:17,320
And to this day, to this day, man, she she she remembers that I won't say his name, but

363
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:23,320
he knows if he's listening, he knows she always she always gives him shit every time I always

364
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:24,320
see him.

365
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:25,560
So I guess still here.

366
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:30,360
So but um, but yeah, it's definitely, you know, when you speak about like having grown

367
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:35,880
up with a role model and having like a dad or male figure, same sex figure of like who

368
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,280
you are, like what you want to be.

369
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,000
I didn't really have that.

370
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:48,280
And it wasn't till when I got into the academy and like, you know, started like wanted to

371
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:53,400
wanted to be better than what I had is like kind of what helped me get into.

372
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:57,240
All right, well, this job is something that's going to help me make better choices, you

373
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,200
know, because I didn't want to be the dumbass.

374
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,880
I was just smoking weed and partying like I used to be.

375
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:08,760
I wanted to do more than just, you know, work construction shovel and concrete.

376
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:17,520
So I wanted to have a career and it was it was just that outside searching for like mentorship,

377
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:23,520
and at the time when I was in the academy, Michael Cador, he was the coordinator and

378
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:27,840
he's a real like a pillar in the community out here.

379
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:33,560
And I think conversations with him really like kind of gave me like, okay, like, you

380
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,240
know, I think I can do this.

381
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:39,720
And you know, there's this is something that I want to do and help people kind of do it,

382
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,720
do it the right way, like kind of live a better life, you know.

383
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:49,880
Yeah, I mean, it's always it's always interesting to see that when there's a history of whatever,

384
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:54,160
it'll send people down one or two paths, either they'll copy the same behavior.

385
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:59,280
And so this is when I think this the, you know, alcoholism is genetic conversation is

386
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,160
very dangerous because I disagree personally, I think it's environmental, there's an element

387
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:08,580
of, you know, genetic because of course, we know now that the genes do morph, they change.

388
00:26:08,580 --> 00:26:12,920
So if you have been an addict for a long time, you know, your your body will change, but

389
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,920
you can also do the opposite, you can reverse it.

390
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,440
But I had the same kind of thing.

391
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:22,940
There was infidelity, you know, my parents marriage and it sent me completely down the

392
00:26:22,940 --> 00:26:27,200
other path where my friends would make fun of me because I'd break up with a girl when

393
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,960
I was, you know, 18, because I didn't feel madly in love with them.

394
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,120
I'm like, well, what's the point?

395
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:36,400
Like, you know, if I'm not all in, it's not fair on her, let her go find someone who who

396
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,820
wants her, you know what I mean?

397
00:26:37,820 --> 00:26:40,640
And yet they would give me shit and then they'd be cheating on the girlfriend.

398
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,640
So I never quite understood that.

399
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,440
But I think it sends you one of one of two ways.

400
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:50,260
It's interesting, though, because now when I look back at my family situation and I look

401
00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:55,680
back at, you know, probably same thing with your dad is you realize that a lot of the

402
00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:02,140
the marital issues in in first responder professions, there's a huge mental health element to it,

403
00:27:02,140 --> 00:27:05,040
you know, and it might not even be from the job specifically might be before when they

404
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:09,640
were younger, but, you know, the reason why people just latch on to the first person and

405
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,120
then, you know, it may not work, you know, or they devolve from sleep deprivation and

406
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:19,780
trauma and all that kind of stuff and they become more angry and more impatient and less,

407
00:27:19,780 --> 00:27:21,740
you know, affectionate.

408
00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:22,840
That has an impact, too.

409
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,740
So that's what's so sad is when you look back, you know, one of those marriages may have

410
00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:33,280
worked beautifully had they not had the background that they had and or been in that profession.

411
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:36,900
And the thing that gives me hope is that's all preventable.

412
00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:41,920
We stop the cycle of trauma and we give people in our professions enough rest and recovery

413
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,160
and emotional support.

414
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,880
There shouldn't be, you know, a divorce epidemic in our profession.

415
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:48,880
Yeah, yeah.

416
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:54,080
And it seems like it's one of those things where like you could you will change like

417
00:27:54,080 --> 00:28:00,460
when you first start the job to when you progress, you will change, you know, and you have like

418
00:28:00,460 --> 00:28:04,160
people that come out of the military and get into law enforcement.

419
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,880
So they kind of already had a taste of it.

420
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:13,280
But you know, when you're talking like a young kid, early 20s doing this and then, you know,

421
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,840
almost 10 years in doing it now, like you're not the same person because you've seen a

422
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,160
lot and you've been through a lot.

423
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:23,920
And it's just, you know, I learned I'm not sitting there trying to act like I'm perfect

424
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:24,920
or nothing.

425
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,840
But like we've been to marriage counseling.

426
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:36,120
And I think it helped me realize like my issues of communication to where I wasn't the way

427
00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:42,160
I was saying things or the way I was keeping information like it wasn't it wasn't healthy

428
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:47,200
of like just my tone of voice speaking to, you know, the person that loves me and that

429
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,120
wants to help me get through anything.

430
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:56,280
And then another thing that I'm realizing, I had issues with my dad that I had to go

431
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,280
back and revisit.

432
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:04,640
And that I think now at this point in my life, I have closure on how that kind of relationship

433
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,800
is, you know, because I don't think I mentioned it earlier, because I ended up around that

434
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:14,640
time I was 18 19, you know, I ended up finding out he wasn't my real dad.

435
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,760
That kind of just came out in the argument after you know, getting kicked out.

436
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,960
And I wasn't sure I didn't believe it or not.

437
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,560
So I started asking family members about like, hey,

438
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,120
you just said he's not my real dad.

439
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,120
Is that true?

440
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,680
And they're like, yeah, we didn't know waiting for somebody to tell you.

441
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,040
So it's like, oh, okay.

442
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:37,480
So here's new information that I'm trying to process.

443
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:45,360
And it was actually around the time when we first when I first met was when I first had

444
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:50,800
real conversations with my biological father, and ended up finding out, you know, he was

445
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:57,760
just an insurance agent that ended up, you know, cheating on his wife with my mom.

446
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,640
And then, you know, she got pregnant.

447
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:04,840
So he then his whole family because I asked him, I said, well, does anybody from your

448
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:05,840
family is your wife?

449
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,760
Do they know about me said for for the sake of his marriage, he said no.

450
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:16,080
So it was like, okay, well, I had I was only two, you know, kind of had this, this, this

451
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,300
dad and then this other dad is like, oh, that's great.

452
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:24,760
So definitely, it kind of gets with your head of like, what?

453
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:26,440
What am I here?

454
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,280
What am I supposed to be doing?

455
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:36,040
You know, so and but for me having first having my daughter and then having, you know, the

456
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:41,000
two other ones that kind of put in perspective of like, they need, they need a two parent

457
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:47,800
household like they need a dad that's present, you know, they kind of, it's just realizing

458
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:52,120
what what you didn't have and just trying to give your kids what you didn't have.

459
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,840
And I have those moments where it's like my daughter or something, you know, they're kind

460
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,440
of being soft and I'll make the joke of like, why are you upset?

461
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,760
You have two pair of household, like you should be happy.

462
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,960
Like you got a mom and dad.

463
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:10,240
But it's, it's definitely it can your past can affect you and then the job what you're

464
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:17,280
doing can also like, there's so many outliers of like, what can kind of good put you down

465
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:22,680
a route of like depression, anxiety, like drinking, like he's alcoholism.

466
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:27,560
I mean, I had a small time where I was working nights and I just remember I'd come home every

467
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:31,840
morning I'm drinking a beer every and every shift and I was like, all right, this doesn't

468
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:32,840
this doesn't seem too healthy.

469
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,400
I kind of need to I need to sleep.

470
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,120
And I just kind of started to have an outlet to do things.

471
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:44,480
So one thing I've talked about recently, and again, all my thoughts are because of all

472
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:45,480
the guests have been on here.

473
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:51,240
It's not like I have some, you know, epiphany of my own, but I realized that when we have

474
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:55,920
the childhood trauma conversation, there's some kind of people like, oh, you're just

475
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,920
blaming you know, you're just blaming that.

476
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:03,240
And I think the the nuance of that is, if you don't address things that happen when

477
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,540
you were young, and then you get into law enforcement, military, and it's buried down,

478
00:32:07,540 --> 00:32:13,560
and then you do and see what you do in uniform, that can be a very fractured foundation for

479
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:14,560
our profession.

480
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,480
You've had in, you know, shifts and sleep deprivation and all the other stuff.

481
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:22,600
And now you've really started to build a perfect storm for some, you know, emotional troubles.

482
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:27,720
Conversely, though, I feel like if you had trauma, and you've been able to process it

483
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,920
healthily, I think that's the hope conversation, the post traumatic growth.

484
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,840
And I truly believe that becomes a superpower in uniform.

485
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,480
And I think that's why some people struggle and some people don't.

486
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,100
It's not that any of us were born any better than each other.

487
00:32:42,100 --> 00:32:46,960
It's just simply that, you know, some of us were fortunate that despite some of the shit

488
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:52,680
things that happen, we were able to work through them before we entered, you know, law enforcement,

489
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,720
fire, whatever it is.

490
00:32:54,720 --> 00:33:01,000
What's your perspective of the horrendous trauma that you had as a child, and then,

491
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:05,240
you know, the work that you had to do a lot sooner than most of us had to, and how that

492
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,880
carried on into law enforcement?

493
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:14,080
So, I mean, I think I think I was able to have, you know, like a lot of time to go through

494
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:19,000
it, you know, as opposed to if something like that happened at like 20 years old, and then,

495
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:25,560
you know, become a cop at 21, I'd be kind of a big time of like, oh, that's, I feel

496
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:30,320
like you still need more time to process, you know, like this past this past week was

497
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,160
my mom's 64th birthday.

498
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:38,520
And still, I had to work that day, and we're just kind of busy and, you know, just kind

499
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:43,520
of taking it easy with the with the second me, like, it just feels like another day to

500
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:50,000
where like you didn't have, I didn't have a chance to go through and like reflect and

501
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:59,560
and like enjoy it, you know, and so I think, for me, having a 24 year gap to process, it

502
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:04,400
really helped me like get through that trauma to get to where I am now to where I can talk

503
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:05,400
about it.

504
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:12,000
And I feel like I've been, I try to use it as like, hey, this situation happened.

505
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,360
And, you know, I'm better because of it.

506
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:21,360
As opposed to I could have just been, you know, a scumbag or, you know, it could have

507
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,360
just been anger at the world.

508
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,120
And instead, like now I'm at peace.

509
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:29,680
I can I can reach out to people and try to help people get through whatever they're going

510
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:30,680
through.

511
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:39,240
So I think for me, the time that I had helped me process it and being able to do something

512
00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:44,040
like this, where I can like talk to people and like reach out because, you know, outside

513
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:48,880
of this, I'll go to the schools and I'll speak to kids because I mean, kids are going through

514
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:53,320
something that they probably don't tell their parents and if they could hear an adult say,

515
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:59,600
this, something bad happened to me, but I'm here to let you know, it's going to be OK

516
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:06,960
and you can get through it and you can still be a successful adult as a way of like, you

517
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,320
know, giving hope and looking back, I think.

518
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,160
I don't know if I would say I needed that, but I think if I would have heard that from

519
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:18,200
somebody like it would have been as nice to hear, you know what I mean?

520
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,200
Well, again, it's hope.

521
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,920
This is why I remember when we first put out your episode, you know, the the response was

522
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:28,840
incredible and I think that's just simply because the knee-jerk reaction would be anger

523
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:32,600
and hatred and, you know, those kind of negative emotions.

524
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:37,400
And of course, initially, I'm sure there was a lot in your family, but every single person

525
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,760
has their version of struggles when they were younger.

526
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,000
Now, some are way more acute like yours was.

527
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,800
Some are, you know, maybe a little bit more chronic, like, you know, being a middle child

528
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,880
and not feeling loved or, you know, whatever, whatever.

529
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,560
I mean, but everyone has their thing.

530
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:58,480
But what I don't hear in the not just the mental health conversation, in the crime conversation

531
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:03,760
and the addiction conversation, I mean, all these different areas is that, you know, you

532
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,440
may have been brought up this way.

533
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,680
You may have had these kind of parents or one parent or no parent or whatever it was,

534
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,560
but there is a way to still thrive.

535
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:17,960
And now, you know, like yourself, it means enduring the pain and finding the tools that

536
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:22,800
work for you, whether it's counseling or meds or psychedelics or, you know, horses or whatever

537
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:23,800
it is.

538
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:28,080
But I don't hear the hope conversation nearly enough.

539
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:33,160
It's always, you know, like with law enforcement, the laws that you have to enforce is, you

540
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,680
know, and certainly until recently, if they're an addict, take them to prison.

541
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,120
You caught them with drugs, take them to prison.

542
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,360
You know, they're they joined a gang, take them to prison.

543
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:48,360
You know, so we penalize the the the side effects of unaddressed trauma rather than

544
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,600
going to the nucleus and going, well, why why are these people finding themselves in

545
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:53,600
a situation?

546
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,920
How can we get to the beginning?

547
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,320
And I think the answer is stories like yours.

548
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:02,200
And as a young person or, you know, maybe someone older listening to this going, wow,

549
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:06,600
you know, if Nick can Nick can get through that and join the very profession that ultimately

550
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:12,080
killed his mother, then I can grow from whatever it is that I'm going through and end up making

551
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,760
the world better rather than making it even worse.

552
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,960
Yeah, I mean, definitely.

553
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:22,680
There's been times at work where I tell people because I mean, the only options for for me

554
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:30,600
to take somebody is, you know, a jail, the hospital or, you know, or like a mental health

555
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,520
facility for like a Baker Act.

556
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:38,040
Like those those options, they don't really solve much.

557
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:42,120
They just kind of are if you do this and this is what's going to happen to you, you know.

558
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:46,560
But at the end of the day, there's times where you're like taking somebody somewhere, you

559
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,880
know, they're just going to get arrested again or, you know, they're just going to get a

560
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:57,040
Baker Acted again or a March enacted, you know, just from having an addiction and being

561
00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:00,860
an influence of drugs or alcohol.

562
00:38:00,860 --> 00:38:06,240
So it definitely it sucks to where there's nothing.

563
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:10,560
You know, we need more resources, but you don't know, like, when they're going to happen.

564
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:17,560
So I know, like in our our county, they've been starting to have more more resources

565
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,880
starting to come about to help people in need.

566
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:27,000
So I think we're getting a step in the right direction with that.

567
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:33,240
And it's definitely it's it's unfortunate because I've seen it where I'm telling like

568
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:36,800
a parent telling them, you know, they have like a teenage kid that just doesn't want

569
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:37,800
to listen.

570
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:42,680
And I'll try to if we have time, you know, called permitting, I try to tell them, hey,

571
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,240
you know, something bad happened to me.

572
00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:50,800
I made bad choices, but it doesn't need to be like this with adults is more unfortunate

573
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,720
because it's harder to change an adult.

574
00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:57,520
But if you can just tell an adult, hey, you need to find a why of like, why do you want

575
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,760
to get better if you don't have a why?

576
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:04,080
You're just going to end up being in the same predicament.

577
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,040
And then unfortunately, you know, there's times where I mean, you've probably seen it

578
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:11,400
where you had an overdose and then a month later, the same overdose.

579
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,440
And then that time ends up killing the guy, you know.

580
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:19,760
So it's it's definitely it's definitely unfortunate to where we don't have enough resources to

581
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,080
help people as Richard.

582
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:27,400
As a firefighter captain, I work with out in California and we just lost him about a

583
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:31,880
year ago and I just found out that his son just died of an overdose as well.

584
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,960
So I mean, that's two family members that are, you know, I mean, that the remaining

585
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,320
family, I'm sure, are absolutely devastated.

586
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,720
But this is the very conversation that we're talking about.

587
00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:47,920
You know, what when, you know, when we die at whatever 90, 95, 100, you know, or we get

588
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,160
hit by an asteroid, those were not preventable.

589
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:55,920
But so many of these deaths, so many of the, you know, the struggles that people are going

590
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,240
through, the fear that people are going through, it's all preventable.

591
00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:04,060
But we have to have that proactive, you know, nucleus conversation.

592
00:40:04,060 --> 00:40:05,480
What is the beginning of this?

593
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:08,560
Why are the streets of America so dangerous?

594
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:14,320
You know, I mean, what's happening in in a, you know, a school that's not in an affluent

595
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,320
neighborhood?

596
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,160
Is it getting more support or is it getting less because it's being cut because of its

597
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,160
grades?

598
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:24,600
You know, we've got to address the root cause so that we create kind, compassionate, happy

599
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,960
young boys and girls that then end up making the world better.

600
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:33,320
But if we keep just demonizing their responses to the shitty environment that we put them

601
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:38,920
in to grow in, then, you know, as they say insanity, you know, doing the same thing,

602
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,520
expecting different results.

603
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:41,520
Yeah.

604
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:48,200
And I think now, like in this day and age, we're especially kind of like my generation

605
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:54,560
is the one having, you know, at the end of kids, it's we're starting to more more information

606
00:40:54,560 --> 00:41:00,480
becoming more available to where it's like, all right, if public school is not working,

607
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:05,200
you know, we have the resource of private school or even the resource of homeschool.

608
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:09,960
You know, I've seen a couple of my friends homeschool their kids after realizing, you

609
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,880
know, certain public schools isn't working for them.

610
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:17,680
I mean, my wife's talked about it with my daughter, but I don't think that's going to

611
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,880
happen with two babies in the house.

612
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:27,360
But it's definitely I like the direction that and it feels like we're kind of realizing

613
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,320
how some things in the past works better than how they are now.

614
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,920
Like you have a lot of young people starting a homestead.

615
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:40,600
I mean, I got a friend of mine where I get I get fresh eggs from, you know, drinking

616
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,600
raw milk.

617
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,400
I got sourdough starter from her.

618
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:45,400
I'm making my own bread.

619
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:49,520
I told the wife, I said, listen, like the game plan is, you know, eventually get some

620
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:54,560
land and it's kind of, you know, I live off the land because after, you know, along the

621
00:41:54,560 --> 00:42:01,440
lines of like the outside sources of no one cares about you as much as like you care for

622
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:02,440
your family.

623
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:06,320
So as far as long as like the schools are getting filled, you know, someone's making

624
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,920
money off of that, but they don't really care too much about if the kids are learning, you

625
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,440
know, I've been lucky.

626
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:17,440
I've been blessed to have a smart daughter to where it's like, all right, if she as she

627
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,600
misses a day or two of school, it's not the end of the world.

628
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:21,600
Like as for me, I was stupid.

629
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,640
So I had to go to school every day.

630
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:24,640
Yeah, yeah.

631
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:30,520
I told Tomo, I said I got the perfect attendance award, but you know, I got a I graduated with

632
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,160
like a two point, what did that get me?

633
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:42,080
You know, so I think looking back and kind of being able to like in this day and age,

634
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:45,560
we're able to, you know, have more resources of doing things for you, like especially your

635
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:51,560
kids or or for your own self in regards of like the information is out there.

636
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,800
You just got to you just got to find it.

637
00:42:53,800 --> 00:43:00,040
And I think that's one of the things that I've been trying to focus more on after I

638
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:06,600
was in 2021 when I had COVID pretty bad and I'm getting pneumonia and I miss work for

639
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:07,600
about a month.

640
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:11,800
And it was like, OK, I I want to start eating better.

641
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,640
And I want to kind of know where I get certain things from.

642
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:21,800
So I went I went down that rabbit hole of grass, grass, finished beef.

643
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,040
I order my ground beef from a farm of Georgia.

644
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,600
I get my chicken from a good ranchers.

645
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,200
You know, no antibiotics.

646
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:38,240
I try to I try to make sure the bulk of what I'm eating is is not going to kill me because

647
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:41,720
I know I mean, I'm 30 31 now.

648
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:46,240
If I can get 31 more years left, I want it to be I'm trying to look like you when I get

649
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:47,240
older.

650
00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:48,240
You know what I mean?

651
00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:53,360
Like I don't want to I don't want to have like, you know, friggin like diabetes, you

652
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,040
know, you know, missing the leg, cut a cut a leg off.

653
00:43:56,040 --> 00:44:01,880
I just want to I want to as I get older, get better physically, mentally.

654
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:06,080
And that's just one of the game plans of eating better, living better.

655
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:10,760
I say that, but my problem is on the weekends, you know, I still kill like a whole sleeve

656
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:11,760
of Oreos.

657
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:17,200
So I'm trying to try to work on being more consistent and like an eating right.

658
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:23,560
So that's another thing where it's like, all right, here's the government, FDA and all

659
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,560
them.

660
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:25,560
They don't really care what's in the product.

661
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:30,200
You see all this stuff that we're eating is banned in other countries and makes you want

662
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:31,520
to like pay attention to that.

663
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,040
Like why is cereal banned in Japan?

664
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:35,040
Like what?

665
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:36,120
Like what is that?

666
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:40,040
And the other day I saw my wife had bought some cereal and I was like, why?

667
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,040
Why is this in the house?

668
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:47,480
As before, like I could eat like half a box of Frosted Flakes on a weekend.

669
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:52,520
And it's just it's just little things I try to little things that if I could change to

670
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:58,360
help me live longer and live better, healthier, you know, it affects how you feel like during

671
00:44:58,360 --> 00:44:59,360
the week.

672
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:05,720
My my weekly game plan, whenever I work, I eat a pound of ground beef a day.

673
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:11,680
I try to hit like 200 plus grams of protein and that kind of fills me up.

674
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:16,840
I mostly like meat and fruit that will get me going through the week and I feel good.

675
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:21,360
And then I notice the weeks where like it was too busy and I'm not consistent.

676
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:25,440
I could feel it in my body where it's like I'm not sleeping as good.

677
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,080
I don't have enough energy.

678
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:31,360
Like I can feel like my recovery from working out doesn't feel as good.

679
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:37,540
So it's like when you notice those things as an adult, it's like, well, can we do can

680
00:45:37,540 --> 00:45:42,760
we make sure like your kids are eating good too to make sure they have the same like kind

681
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,340
of rhythm that you go through?

682
00:45:44,340 --> 00:45:49,200
Because I notice it with my daughter where some nights the bedtime is eight o'clock.

683
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,720
But you know, we're in this new realm of having the two babies.

684
00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:56,840
So sometimes she ends up going to bed later and then the morning comes and it's just a

685
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,960
harder, a harder reset of getting the day going.

686
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:04,160
So if it's like that when you're younger, it's like that when you're older, especially

687
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:05,720
what you eat.

688
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:11,600
And and it's like, how do we get better with all the information that we have?

689
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:12,600
And it's there.

690
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,720
You just got to take it, read it and run with it.

691
00:46:15,720 --> 00:46:16,720
Absolutely.

692
00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:20,520
And I think Tony just reminded me of a video I shared three or four days ago, but it was

693
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,160
Killer Mike, who I think is amazing.

694
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:27,200
And he was speaking at some event and I'm assuming that someone had talked about, you

695
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:32,040
know, some sort of kind of revolution uprising, whatever it was.

696
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:39,260
And I just had Lamont Jenkins on the show, who is one of the guys that kind of really

697
00:46:39,260 --> 00:46:41,720
shows the white supremacy movements in America.

698
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:42,720
And it was a great Darrell.

699
00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:44,720
So Darrell Lamont Jenkins.

700
00:46:44,720 --> 00:46:48,560
And he was talking about the kind of the kind of revolution concepts.

701
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:52,680
And he wasn't saying that it needs to happen, but it was the pushback to obviously the racism

702
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,480
from from the neo-Nazi side.

703
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,800
But I guess someone had suggested that.

704
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,720
And Killer Mike said, you know, let me see a show of hands.

705
00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:03,320
How many of you grow your own fruit and vegetables?

706
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:04,320
And there was a few.

707
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,720
How many of you hunt?

708
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:12,120
How many of you actually own a firearm and go to the range every one, two times a week?

709
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,080
He said, so you ain't ready for a revolution.

710
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,640
And I was like, and I was like, yeah, and that's for all of us.

711
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:22,760
That's the regardless of skin color, whatever that is us, you know, you're so worried about

712
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:27,520
what Fox or CNN has told you and you're so fucking angry, but yet you're not even, you

713
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:29,160
know, taking care of your own home.

714
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,160
You're not even making sure.

715
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,360
Because I remember when I came to your house, you were growing in the backyard even then.

716
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:34,360
But I'm best.

717
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:35,360
I got up.

718
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:36,360
I'm not weird.

719
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:37,360
I can't clear.

720
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:38,360
I don't know.

721
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:39,360
Set me up, man.

722
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:40,360
You know, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know,

723
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,360
I ain't knocking on my door.

724
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:44,360
It's funny.

725
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:50,560
I just right now, the garden, though we got, we got some russet potatoes and sweet potatoes

726
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:51,560
back there.

727
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,680
And I got some onions I'm working on and some, some blackberries.

728
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:56,680
That's the current.

729
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,560
That's what I got currently going on out there.

730
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:03,000
And this damn pineapple that I've been trying to grow for like three frickin years.

731
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,560
That's just, it's not happening.

732
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:08,400
But, but yeah, right before I'd be real.

733
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:13,000
Which is like nine 30 and I was just watering the yard and I was like, man, let me check

734
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:14,000
on these potatoes.

735
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:15,000
And like some of them were dying.

736
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,200
So I was literally outside right before getting on here and digging up some potatoes.

737
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:21,120
I got, they're kind of small.

738
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:25,360
It takes about like, it says like 90 to a hundred days and we're like a day 60.

739
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,320
And I thought, I thought it was dying.

740
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:32,560
So it was just a experiment on how, on how to grow russet potatoes.

741
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,920
And I think I planted them a little too close.

742
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,880
So sorry, I went on a rant there.

743
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,520
Sorry, no, no.

744
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:39,920
Well, here's the thing.

745
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:44,080
And I'm always very, excuse me, very clear about this.

746
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:49,600
I grew up on a farm in England where we had a vegetable garden and we had animals and

747
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:53,560
we had an orchard with, you know, apples and all kinds of stuff.

748
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:59,120
And so this is what I try and illustrate is that the reason why I would eat well is because

749
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:03,280
I was raised with that being real food.

750
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:07,840
And I'm, you know, but if I grew up in the Bronx, then the bodega might be the only thing

751
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:11,120
that I know about real food or about food, should I say.

752
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:15,920
And the sleeves of Oreos would become a consistent thing, you know, maybe on a daily basis.

753
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,460
So it's so important that we have this conversation.

754
00:49:18,460 --> 00:49:22,360
It's not shaming people because that's how you get people to not listen to you about

755
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:23,360
exercise or nutrition.

756
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:28,160
Like, well, if you just get up every day at four and eat salad and you look like me, firstly,

757
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,280
dude, I don't want to look like you.

758
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,200
Secondly, you know, well, how were you raised and what was your education and how are you

759
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,000
even living the style that you're living?

760
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:40,200
You know, liver king, for example, or you just full of fucking hot air.

761
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:45,480
But if we actually, you know, look compassionately and again, going to the origin, how do we

762
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:50,380
get people in what they call food deserts to start understanding real food and make

763
00:49:50,380 --> 00:49:53,760
it more affordable in those areas and, you know, bring, because obviously you can't have

764
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,400
a farm in a little New York city.

765
00:49:55,400 --> 00:50:03,040
So how do the surrounding lush, you know, counties and states, you know, serve L.A.,

766
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:06,840
you know, New York, et cetera, so that we can actually make it accessible?

767
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,400
Because people say, oh, healthy food is so expensive.

768
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:14,300
It's like it's not really at its source, but they don't get any subsidies.

769
00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:18,640
Your local farmers, even though there was a pandemic that supposedly almost killed everyone,

770
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,240
they still don't get any subsidies.

771
00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:22,560
You know, it's the mega farms and monocrops.

772
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:28,360
So we have to really push that so that we are empowering people to know what food looks

773
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:29,360
like.

774
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:30,360
You know, what can you grow?

775
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:33,240
Even if it's just herbs, you know, you can always grow something.

776
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:34,240
And the same with exercise.

777
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:38,760
You know, you may not have access to, you know, a beautiful sportsplex like I've got

778
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:42,800
around the corner here, but how do we empower people to understand, you know, that movement

779
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,000
is going to help them?

780
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:48,360
And so if you just have this kind of judgy, well, just do what I do mentality that you

781
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:52,040
see in some of the fitness space, then you're not going to draw people in.

782
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:56,760
You've got to you've got to start assuming that someone was raised not knowing how to

783
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,600
grow what food looks like.

784
00:50:58,600 --> 00:50:59,600
Yeah.

785
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:05,760
And I think you just you got to make whole foods more appeasing to people because I think

786
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:11,760
a lot of people end up thinking and it's you know, I've been there where it's the work

787
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:16,720
week, you know, if both parents are working, what's for dinner real quick, just pick up

788
00:51:16,720 --> 00:51:20,720
Taco Bell and McDonald's, you know, like for us.

789
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:26,960
If I mean, it's kind of spaced out, I'd probably say one week, the end of being a Taco Bell

790
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:30,800
night and then like the next week will be like a Papa John's night.

791
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:35,720
And there's times where I'm like, OK, we can we can be better.

792
00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:39,240
We can be better if we like prepped more.

793
00:51:39,240 --> 00:51:45,620
So it definitely takes like that mindset of like, all right, let's let's be better about

794
00:51:45,620 --> 00:51:46,620
meal prepping.

795
00:51:46,620 --> 00:51:50,760
And, you know, as someone that, you know, me and my wife, we didn't really have a chance

796
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,880
to do the whole like bodybuilding thing.

797
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:56,760
We're like, you know, if you're living, you don't really have kids or nothing to where

798
00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:02,160
you can get your chicken or rice every day, meal prep that I think the people that end

799
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:06,680
up doing that younger and, you know, they get older and they have a family.

800
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:10,600
It kind of helps set the tone for the consistency of like eating good.

801
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:14,760
But as far as like when you don't have that and you're learning that you're trying to

802
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:19,480
implement it is better than just not trying to implement it at all.

803
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:24,840
So I think that's kind of where we're where we're at in our life right now with like health

804
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:26,840
and, you know, trying to eat better.

805
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:30,960
And, you know, she's she's recovering from having the baby.

806
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,360
I'm recovering from a vasectomy.

807
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:35,640
So we can't really work out right now as much as we want to.

808
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:40,280
Like she's I think probably like four weeks out from, you know, from like lifting and

809
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,620
doing stuff.

810
00:52:42,620 --> 00:52:47,920
So it really comes down to just staying consistent and like setting like, all right, this is

811
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:49,840
what we're going to eat.

812
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:53,200
These are the snacks that we're going to make for the kids.

813
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,120
This is what you've done a week that's healthy.

814
00:52:55,120 --> 00:53:01,280
And I think I've been finding a lot of stuff on like Instagram of like healthy snacks that

815
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:04,320
you can make, you know, instead of like buying things.

816
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:09,000
And it's just like our main thing now with the baby.

817
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,720
He loves the middle baby, the one year old.

818
00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:14,120
He'll go to town on some some fruit.

819
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:15,440
He'll kill some berries.

820
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:21,560
So last night, the newborn, she was crying up all night and I was sitting there trying

821
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:29,040
to, you know, wash wash all the other strawberries and blueberries with what we use water and

822
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:32,700
and baking soda, you know, kind of clean it and then just can it.

823
00:53:32,700 --> 00:53:37,120
So because once we learned when we figured out about canning, I think that's when it

824
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:40,880
was starting to be like, oh, the fruit last longer.

825
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:42,280
And you know, kind of stays cleaner.

826
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:43,920
Like we got to let's start doing this.

827
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:47,840
And that's like one of those little things where I realized by that in bulk and like

828
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:49,040
clean it up.

829
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:52,480
You know, it's a good healthy snack for the kids throughout the day.

830
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:56,240
So it's just like those little things instead of just, all right, let's just get McDonald's,

831
00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:58,120
you know, or let's just get Taco Bell.

832
00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:59,280
Let's get Burger King.

833
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,000
But there's no money.

834
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,360
There's no money in it.

835
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:07,000
And you know, eating fruits and vegetables and, you know, eating whole food, having a

836
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,000
whole food diet.

837
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:14,520
The money is in the process, and once you start to when you realize the process is not

838
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:19,840
really there for you to live longer and you start looking at I forgot where I heard it

839
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:25,480
from a while back, but I saw it was something that it was something on the Internet and

840
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:29,480
it was about the people that are eating certain foods.

841
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:33,160
And you look at them, you're like, look at how that person looks and look what they eat.

842
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:34,160
Do you want to look at that person?

843
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:37,120
And it's like, yeah, I don't really want to do that.

844
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:39,920
So I got to make better choices.

845
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:47,880
And and and from my thing with my kids, I don't want my kids to to start off and be

846
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:52,880
fat when they're young, because it's hard to it's hard to get on fat if you if you start

847
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:54,200
out young like that.

848
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:56,640
So you know, we keep my daughter active.

849
00:54:56,640 --> 00:55:02,360
She's what she's doing on horseback piano.

850
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:05,040
I think we got volleyball coming back up again.

851
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:09,200
But just try to keep her moving and keep him outside.

852
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:16,400
And one thing that I learned from a book I read, Steve vanilla was that book called

853
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:17,400
it was like us.

854
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,640
Well, I wrote it down because I wanted to want to touch on that.

855
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:26,760
It was on outdoor kids in an inside world and the power of like just putting your kids

856
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:27,760
outside.

857
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,280
My my son, he loves being outside.

858
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:35,960
If you go to put the dogs out and close the door, he run up to the door, he starts crying

859
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,000
because he wants to be outside.

860
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:42,600
And you can see like the energy released for him being outside, like playing outside.

861
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:46,160
And it's a it's good for them.

862
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:52,520
But if you grew up in like a metropolitan area, you don't have a really outside or a

863
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:56,560
safe outside where it's just concrete and high crime.

864
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:59,360
You don't really want to be out there because they're going to get influenced by something

865
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:00,360
bad out there.

866
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:04,760
There's no I mean, outside of Central Park, what does New York have?

867
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:10,480
You know, I just like I just remember like, you know, just big old like playgrounds.

868
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:14,760
But I mean, how long can you be on just like a big concrete playground?

869
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:19,160
Like there's just something about playing in dirt that some kids need.

870
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:25,020
And I'm glad I realized that, you know, second go around with the second kid young early

871
00:56:25,020 --> 00:56:28,760
on because there's times where we think, you know, like, why is he acting up?

872
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,640
Why is he like, why is he always being a brat?

873
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:36,360
Well, it's just like, OK, no, he he just needs to release his energy, needs to be outside.

874
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:40,240
We don't need to get mad at him because he's not getting the attention he needs because,

875
00:56:40,240 --> 00:56:43,680
you know, you know, I'm working and then we have the newborn.

876
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,320
He just needs to be outside to get his energy out.

877
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:53,560
So I think that's definitely like two of the things just having having nature and then

878
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:59,960
having caring about eating whole foods like really affects like affects your body, affects

879
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:06,680
your mental, you know, and it really makes a difference on like how how your day goes.

880
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:10,600
You hear people say, you know, back in my day, you know, we'd be gone all day and then

881
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,460
have to come home and the street lights come on.

882
00:57:12,460 --> 00:57:16,400
And it's literally, you know, what what I had on the farm, but there were no street

883
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,000
lights, you know, just when you couldn't see anymore, you go back in.

884
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:25,560
But where I live now in Ocala, it's it's beautiful and we have that same exact thing.

885
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:30,640
But this is a really nice neighborhood, you know, and there's a bunch of communities around

886
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:37,800
a communal area that's got a football pitch and tennis courts and a basketball court and

887
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:39,880
that's the community pool.

888
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:41,640
So the kids have the ability to do that.

889
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:47,480
But like you said, you say that to someone in Manhattan, like, you know, what we people

890
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,080
don't think about is, is it safe for your kids to be out there?

891
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,240
You know, and a lot of not a laborhood is not.

892
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:54,240
So therefore they are bound to that house.

893
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,640
And then, like you said, if you don't even have a back garden because you live in some

894
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:02,720
urban setting, you know, then is the local park safe for them to be gone without you

895
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:03,720
being there?

896
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:04,720
So it does really limit.

897
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,760
And again, it's it's putting that compassion just because you can let your kids go out

898
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:12,360
or in this case, me, I could let my kids go out and play and know they were safe in this

899
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:15,800
area that doesn't apply to other kids in other cities.

900
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,400
Yeah, and you know, it's like it's weird.

901
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:23,320
So here I live, you know, I probably live a mile down the street from a park that I

902
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:30,880
used to go to when I was younger and we played basketball, but getting older and realizing,

903
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:32,840
you know, how much crime happens at that park.

904
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:35,920
Like there has been, you know, there's been homicides there.

905
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:40,600
There's been bad stuff there to where it's like, I don't want to take my daughter there.

906
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:43,480
And it's the closest park I have that I used to be at.

907
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:51,220
So it's it's like, how do you and you know, it's easier for some to say and do it.

908
00:58:51,220 --> 00:58:54,960
But some people don't have the opportunity to be like, OK, well, I don't want my kids

909
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:55,960
to be over there.

910
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:57,880
Let me try to put them in a better situation.

911
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:02,040
And you know, some people can't do that or they don't have the resources.

912
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:07,120
You know, if you don't have a car, you can't you can't walk to a better place, you know,

913
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:11,720
or take the bus and then worry about like going from bus to bus and then just trying

914
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,640
to have the time to get back home.

915
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:22,080
So like I know for me, luckily, we kind of have a big, big yard where we can have like,

916
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:25,000
you know, the problem I had, I had too many dogs.

917
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:29,320
I had a bunch of like dog crap in the yard, but I've sectioned it off to where the kids

918
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,320
in the garden can kind of like a play outside without I was going to worry about that kind

919
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:33,320
of stuff.

920
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:40,360
But you know, the game plan, God willing, will be to move somewhere with, you know,

921
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:44,960
like over an acre or two and just, you know, not worry about your kids being outside and

922
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:49,720
make a play and do whatever and, you know, have have farm animals or two and just kind

923
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:51,280
of live off of that.

924
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,640
But it's hard to not everybody can do that.

925
00:59:54,640 --> 01:00:00,000
And when you see it, you see like the people that grow up thinking, well, you know, my

926
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:03,680
family or my older brother was gangbanging someone's driving.

927
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:05,120
But what am I supposed to do?

928
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,040
Like, just because you're here doesn't mean you have to do that.

929
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:13,600
And there was times where I felt like when I worked in Cocoa, I would tell people, I

930
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,520
was a manager because you see you see what's going on.

931
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:21,680
You don't have to follow it because most of the crime I'd say I can't speak for like the

932
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:27,680
whole country, but I know like central Florida, mostly violent crimes and these gangs are

933
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:34,880
are like teenagers that are committing the crimes, you know, and it's the cycle.

934
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:39,800
Like it really shortens the life expectancy of these kids to where you're talking like

935
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,880
12 to 18.

936
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:46,960
And then, you know, you think some time will go by and, you know, it would get better.

937
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:51,840
But then, no, a newer, the younger siblings, the newer generation comes and it's boom,

938
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:56,120
12 to 18 year olds, you know, doing the same stuff again.

939
01:00:56,120 --> 01:01:04,320
And one thing, you know, working where I'm at now, we have a good juvenile unit, youth

940
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:10,840
services unit where they keep tabs on these kids because summertime, it's pretty rough.

941
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:16,360
But you know, our our crime analysts, they do a good job of getting out the juvenile

942
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:18,640
home detention list every day.

943
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:25,160
And whoever is on a curfew or whoever is at home, like we try to check it every day because

944
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:30,440
if these kids, man, if they are, if they know you're not coming out there, they're going

945
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:31,600
to start doing bad stuff.

946
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:36,720
So I think if they get caught up and they want to get better, you got to hold them accountable.

947
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:41,360
And if you can keep to keep them accountable, you know, there's some that make it out and

948
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:42,960
they do good and there's some that don't.

949
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:51,080
But it's a real checks and balances system of like, you got to keep the kids to check.

950
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:53,920
We just said about some some, you know, improve some don't.

951
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:57,120
I think this is the problem that we see in a lot of initiatives that people will point

952
01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:58,360
to the ones that didn't work.

953
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:02,080
They are not working rather than seeing all the ones where it did.

954
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:06,760
And I think this is what we need to kind of push back against in some of these more proactive,

955
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:09,320
you know, initiatives.

956
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:13,000
There's always going to be that naysayer and they may have a, you know, a reason for it

957
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,160
where they're going to benefit if it fails, but they're going to point to, oh, you see

958
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:17,760
that there was that killing over there.

959
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,000
So, yeah, but what about all the good you've done?

960
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:22,600
And the perfect example is food stamps, for example.

961
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:24,440
Yes, there are people that abuse that.

962
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:27,480
Yes, there are people that abuse, you know, government support.

963
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:30,800
And we've all been to the houses with the escalade out the front, you know, and then

964
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:34,120
a terrible conditions in the house.

965
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:37,760
But think about all the families that have got themselves back on their feet because

966
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:39,200
of these welfare programs.

967
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,020
When do you ever hear about that being highlighted?

968
01:02:41,020 --> 01:02:42,020
You don't.

969
01:02:42,020 --> 01:02:43,020
It's always the people that abuse it.

970
01:02:43,020 --> 01:02:48,440
So, you know, that sounds like a great initiative alongside, you know, mentorship programs and,

971
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:52,920
you know, the P.A.L. and all these other groups that are out there trying to steer these young

972
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:57,260
boys and girls from a life of crime back to the life where most of us are fortunate to

973
01:02:57,260 --> 01:02:58,920
have a fast track to.

974
01:02:58,920 --> 01:02:59,920
Yeah, yeah.

975
01:02:59,920 --> 01:03:00,920
I mean, definitely.

976
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:07,640
It's that that mindset of if you could change the kids, you can make it.

977
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:10,160
You have a better outcome for the adults.

978
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:11,160
And what's that saying?

979
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:15,280
Is it easier to build up a young child than it is to repair a broken man?

980
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,040
That's a big one.

981
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:19,040
Absolutely.

982
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:22,120
Well, you mentioned about your current department.

983
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:25,560
So I've worked for four fire departments in the end.

984
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:28,080
And arguably, my second one was my dream department.

985
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:32,940
But it was my loyalty to my family after my my son's mother had him.

986
01:03:32,940 --> 01:03:36,440
And then she wanted to move back to Florida to be close to family that took me away from

987
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:37,440
that.

988
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:41,680
And I was really chasing that same kind of dynamic ever since.

989
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:46,560
But it's heartbreaking when you hear first responders, then you know they're good first

990
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:50,960
responders and they're just so frustrated in where they're working at that time.

991
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:54,760
And I think one of the most powerful things is just hearing stories of people that said,

992
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:55,760
I just I just changed.

993
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:57,360
I just went to a different place.

994
01:03:57,360 --> 01:04:00,240
You know, you know, the grass is always greener, maybe.

995
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:06,940
But you go to where it's it's nourished, at least talk to me about what made you change

996
01:04:06,940 --> 01:04:09,440
from from the last one to this current one.

997
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:15,840
And then, you know, what was the kind of emotional response to that as well?

998
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:21,240
So so about after having our second kid.

999
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,920
And for me, I think it was my core values change.

1000
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:29,920
And, you know, like you always try to hold everybody should have certain things that

1001
01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:30,920
they won't budge on.

1002
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:31,920
Right.

1003
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:37,320
Like so mine, you know, realizing my family is more important than than the job.

1004
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:41,480
And I was already I was already kind of aware of that.

1005
01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:48,820
But after I got to realize spoken, ended up I was I was an agent.

1006
01:04:48,820 --> 01:04:52,620
And then I ended up going getting reassigned back to the road.

1007
01:04:52,620 --> 01:04:57,440
And, you know, just realizing coming home, you know, because at that point, I was like

1008
01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:04,240
a 30 mile drive getting back home, just realizing time that you could be missing with your kids

1009
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:05,780
and your family.

1010
01:05:05,780 --> 01:05:10,680
And it ended up initially, I didn't think I was going to end up leaving.

1011
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:14,600
But I had some friends that this current department, they're always telling me, I should come here.

1012
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:19,280
And I was like, man, I'm not I just had a kid like I'm trying to figure out what my

1013
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:23,000
next step is here at this agency and go from there.

1014
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,800
And then, you know, they're like, hey, well, there's a new contract.

1015
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:33,280
And so I started looking at the at this stage in my life, the retirement was more important

1016
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:37,480
than, you know, like the the bells and whistles of like equipment, like a new car.

1017
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,480
I don't really care about driving a new car.

1018
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:45,600
I want to make sure I'm making good money and I got good benefits and I can retire good.

1019
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:50,400
And the city retirement was a whole lot better than the county's retirement.

1020
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:55,600
So then it just came down to crunching numbers of like, all right, if I jumped ship here,

1021
01:05:55,600 --> 01:06:01,280
we'll be able to retire at an early age or retirement age would be about the same.

1022
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:04,480
But when you look at the percentage rate, it was a lot higher.

1023
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:10,560
And being working in the city that I live in ended up being a major thing to where younger,

1024
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:14,880
I used to think I don't want to, you know, arrest my neighbors, but then getting older,

1025
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:19,920
it's like, OK, I need to be able to be close to my family if something needs to happen,

1026
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:24,240
because as long as I've been doing this, I know somebody somewhere.

1027
01:06:24,240 --> 01:06:28,800
So even no matter where I worked, someone I went to school with somebody somewhere,

1028
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:31,120
I met them, you know, some at some point.

1029
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:40,360
So the biggest thing for me was being closer to home if and it's a good agency in regards to like,

1030
01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:45,680
if I need to run to the house and check on help the wife or something, you know,

1031
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:47,920
there's not really any pushback on that.

1032
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:56,920
And after, you know, talking to the people here before I came, there was a big focus on like mental health

1033
01:06:56,920 --> 01:07:02,880
and like making sure you're good in regards of like, OK, you just had an officer involved shooting,

1034
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:08,200
you know, instead of just like making a t-shirt about it saying good job, go back to work.

1035
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:12,240
The administration actually care to make sure you're good mentally to go back.

1036
01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:20,920
And I think I've never been involved in a shooting, but it was it was nice to see leadership care about that,

1037
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:23,960
care about your family and make sure you're good.

1038
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:33,080
Like even after my third child, my daughter was born, about every administrator, you know,

1039
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:38,320
Carter texted me and said, Congrats. And I was like, wow, that's never happened before.

1040
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:41,240
So, you know, that was that was a little nice thing to see.

1041
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:49,440
And so I feel like for me, you know, retiring a little earlier and then just being some days,

1042
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:54,200
it could be a five minute drive home at the end of the shift or 10 minute, you know, whatever,

1043
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:59,360
even if I have to stay late for like a late call, it's still just that one,

1044
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:05,840
that one hour a day that I could save by being here, it adds up and like being being present.

1045
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:10,600
So, you know, when I realized my career goals are the same,

1046
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:15,600
if I can accomplish the same career goals here that could at the other agency, you know,

1047
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:21,440
that's the icing on the cake. But as far as everything else, you know, my family is good.

1048
01:08:21,440 --> 01:08:24,760
You know, it's easier for my wife, for me to work, work here.

1049
01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:31,240
And then I can see more, spend more time with my kids. So I think that's what kind of made it

1050
01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:34,720
a better for me coming here. So.

1051
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:39,720
Yeah, absolutely. I think that's it.

1052
01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:43,400
The way I was talking to somebody the other day about this in the fire service,

1053
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:48,600
what I saw is, you know, we all line up on that drill ground day one because we want to serve.

1054
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:51,360
I mean, most of us, there might be some that purely doing it for the benefits,

1055
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:54,600
but you're not going to last long or you're not going to be a good first responder, at least.

1056
01:08:54,600 --> 01:09:01,080
So, you know, that that burning desire to be a protector, to be someone who's there and someone's worst day.

1057
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:04,400
But then as you get in and you get kind of beat down, I'm not being negative.

1058
01:09:04,400 --> 01:09:10,040
It's just, you know, the environment, especially in the fire service at the moment with the crazy hours that they work.

1059
01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:17,400
It tends to shift. And then, you know, before you know it, people are talking about drop and pensions and all this stuff.

1060
01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:22,760
And I think, you know, if if you're chasing that, the danger is that you miss the real currency,

1061
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:25,080
which is time, time with your family.

1062
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:30,960
You know, and I used to drive an hour and 15 each way to the station most of the time.

1063
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:33,800
Yeah. Now that's, you know, every third day you do it.

1064
01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:40,200
But even so, I mean, that's still arguably three hours by the time you're getting everything in your car and getting there.

1065
01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:44,960
And it is a lot. And I think this is a good thing about Covid is there's a lot of people that commuted to offices

1066
01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:47,600
to sit at computers doing what they could do from home.

1067
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:52,600
So, you know, I hope there are people out there whose lives are so much better now doing the same job.

1068
01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:54,920
But they're with their kids most of the time.

1069
01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:57,680
Maybe they do a hybrid program and go to office once a week.

1070
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:01,880
But I think that there's a there's a huge amount of value for that, like weighing up.

1071
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:03,920
Oh, if I work there, I get a pay cut. Yeah.

1072
01:10:03,920 --> 01:10:06,080
But I mean, what what would that look like, though?

1073
01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:11,480
What would be the family dynamic if you were closer to home or, you know, or in some cases that mine,

1074
01:10:11,480 --> 01:10:16,120
the organization is so toxic that the payoff is simply that you're happy.

1075
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:21,520
And when you come home and you see your kids, you're not, you know, ranting about what an asshole

1076
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:25,040
your officer is, or whatever it is. So these are all important things.

1077
01:10:25,040 --> 01:10:30,240
But ultimately, if you're just focusing on money and benefits and you're missing

1078
01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:33,840
the real things that add value to your life, that can be dangerous.

1079
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:39,520
Yeah. And, you know, like the I'm grateful for the time I spent, you know, at the other agency.

1080
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:43,960
And there's a lot of good people there. And I met a lot of people over there.

1081
01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:47,120
Like, it's time to receive them on like an agency assist call.

1082
01:10:47,120 --> 01:10:50,640
And it's like, you know, seeing like a cousin or a family member, you know.

1083
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:56,320
But like, I realize what works for me is being where I'm at.

1084
01:10:56,320 --> 01:11:03,600
And I used to I used to think, you know, people that would, you know, kind of jump agencies like this.

1085
01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:09,240
Where's like, I can just chase the money. But I realize I'm chasing time and the ability to buy.

1086
01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:17,120
I can buy back my time in the future, you know, using using pretty much my my my sick leave hours and stuff like that.

1087
01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:19,600
So it wouldn't even come out of pocket.

1088
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:22,120
So I think that was another thing that was OK.

1089
01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:30,920
I can, you know, I can still retire and get my time back instead of, you know, trying to work X amount just to end up retiring at a later age.

1090
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:37,920
So it was a big factor of just just being home and, you know, accomplishing the same.

1091
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:42,080
I'm doing the same job, you know, but I can be home and be close to the kids.

1092
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:49,880
And and I think just that little 30 minutes here and there a day of getting home earlier,

1093
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:54,120
it really adds up into like hours that you're missing out on.

1094
01:11:54,120 --> 01:11:57,960
And like you said, what our 15 minute drive, I couldn't have.

1095
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:05,560
That'd be tough for me driving from down here up to like West Cocoa, you know, 45 minutes coming home.

1096
01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:08,160
It's like by the time you get home, it's bedtime.

1097
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:15,600
I remember when I used to I was a field training officer and I was training this one kid and we had a late call.

1098
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:19,560
We were packaging evidence and he just he kept messing up.

1099
01:12:19,560 --> 01:12:26,840
You know, just learning. And I told him, I said, hey, man, like your perspective of this is, you know, you're you're learning this.

1100
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:30,320
But mine is like, look, we're we're messing something up.

1101
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:34,240
And now my kids go into bed and I'm not going to see my kid tonight.

1102
01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:40,280
Like and and that was definitely like one of those moments for me where I'm like, I need to I need to be home.

1103
01:12:40,280 --> 01:12:46,960
I can get home. Like when I'm like I'm learning how to kind of be where my feet's at.

1104
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:51,280
Like when I work, you know, I'm at work and when I'm home and home, you know.

1105
01:12:51,280 --> 01:12:58,080
So it's like once that when I clock out, like I'm out and I clock in, like, you know, let's let's do some work.

1106
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:03,000
You know, let's let's try to make a difference, like whatever the agency needs.

1107
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:08,760
I try to be that, you know, like right now we're just a little a little short staff.

1108
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:13,840
So kind of busy. So it's like, all right, we got to focus on handling calls and take care of your own.

1109
01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:18,040
And then, you know, once you know, Manning gets up and it's like, all right, let's be more proactive.

1110
01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:21,760
Let's put some more people in jail. Let's kind of, you know, do some stuff.

1111
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:31,040
But when I'm home, it's just like another I call like another job where some days you feel like you clock out and you come home, you clock in.

1112
01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:38,160
Or it's like, I can help the baby get dinner going, you know, get the kids to bed and then just, you know, on to the next day.

1113
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:48,720
But you try to I think getting home earlier for me kind of helps me not just go through the motions of when I'm here and it kind of helps me enjoy it more.

1114
01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:55,280
And every once in a while, you know, I get time to talk to the wife and like recap, like, you know, how's the day been and stuff like that.

1115
01:13:55,280 --> 01:14:03,680
So those little moments are kind of big. And it makes me like appreciate being here, especially now with the third kid.

1116
01:14:03,680 --> 01:14:13,960
There's times where I'm like, I tell her, I said I couldn't imagine, you know, being a deputy and then having to, you know, come home and then deal with the two kids.

1117
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:22,480
Like last night, I slept in the car with the with the newborn for like an hour last night because she couldn't stop crying.

1118
01:14:22,480 --> 01:14:26,560
I was trying to get her to go to sleep. I was literally in the garage in the car with the baby.

1119
01:14:26,560 --> 01:14:29,880
And then 3 a.m. comes and then the one year old starts crying.

1120
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:33,120
So then I was like, OK, here's got to swap that out.

1121
01:14:33,120 --> 01:14:39,320
So definitely for me is a good mixture of family and work, work life balance.

1122
01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:43,240
And this place gives gives me the best option to do that.

1123
01:14:43,240 --> 01:14:45,120
Well, flipping it to the agency side as well.

1124
01:14:45,120 --> 01:14:50,120
This is what's not appreciated when it comes to mandatory overtime.

1125
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:52,560
You know, people like, oh, we'll just get them to stay.

1126
01:14:52,560 --> 01:15:00,040
You have literally snatched that person from their family for another 12 hours or 24 hours, whatever it is or more.

1127
01:15:00,040 --> 01:15:04,640
And you just, you know, you just clicked a button on a mouse and you're like, well, gearing's working now.

1128
01:15:04,640 --> 01:15:09,160
Well, it might not. It might forget if it's even a birthday, which has happened, too.

1129
01:15:09,160 --> 01:15:13,880
But, you know, it's it's a day where a child needs his mother or father to be home.

1130
01:15:13,880 --> 01:15:17,160
And you've just said they can't. You know, and I think that's inexcusable.

1131
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:20,640
When there's a hurricane bearing down, when there's some major event,

1132
01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:23,920
then, of course, that's when we tell our loved ones, hey, I have to go.

1133
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:30,680
This is important. But to rely on that day in, day out, year in, year out, I think is fucking disgusting.

1134
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:39,280
Yeah. I mean, you gave me PTSD when you said mandatory overtime, man, because there was, you know, in the past, where I used to work,

1135
01:15:39,280 --> 01:15:46,920
you would you would hear it such to be a night shift about five thirty in the morning comes and they say we need one to hold advised by seniority.

1136
01:15:46,920 --> 01:15:52,400
And if you're the lowest man on the pole, you know, you're holding those like those days.

1137
01:15:52,400 --> 01:15:57,360
Those those are tough to where now you're working 14, 16 hour days.

1138
01:15:57,360 --> 01:16:02,920
And there are times I was driving home on 95 and I'd fall asleep, you know, miss the exit.

1139
01:16:02,920 --> 01:16:04,960
And thank God I didn't get an accident.

1140
01:16:04,960 --> 01:16:13,960
But there was many times where I passed my exit or I'd get to the driveway and I'm sleeping in the driveway and just like tired.

1141
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:17,200
And that's one of the things you touched on before, like sleep deprivation.

1142
01:16:17,200 --> 01:16:20,760
I that that is that's real. Like your body.

1143
01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:26,200
I mean, I was already if working night shift and like taking calls at night,

1144
01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:31,840
statistically proven, it's your immune system gets weaker, you know, work a night shift.

1145
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:36,080
So you're already kind of you're kind of like, you know, lagging and dragging.

1146
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:40,040
You're relying on more caffeine than you normally would.

1147
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:48,200
But if you can get, you know, seven hours sleep like right now, on average, for me, I'll get about five, six.

1148
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:52,920
And, you know, that's good. But if I on my first day off, I get eight.

1149
01:16:52,920 --> 01:16:59,840
I got to feel recharged. Now, it's just like imagine if you're running on three hours of sleep, four hours of sleep,

1150
01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:08,480
you're not going to be your best self. And the mandatory overtime, it's all it does is just like fill that number of like, all right.

1151
01:17:08,480 --> 01:17:13,280
Well, we have we have the minimum working, but look at the minimum working.

1152
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:18,640
They're all, you know, they're all tired making, you know, poor decisions like they're going to they're going to get hurt.

1153
01:17:18,640 --> 01:17:22,360
You know, you got to get hurt going to work fatigued.

1154
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:28,120
And our jobs is not something where you can kind of go in there like lacking on a day on a day like that.

1155
01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:35,680
So when I work for Anaheim, I was just thinking when you were talking, I think my base was fifty six.

1156
01:17:35,680 --> 01:17:40,160
It might have been a little bit higher, like 60, but I'm pretty sure fifty six rings a bell.

1157
01:17:40,160 --> 01:17:46,640
But anyway, we have mandatory and it was it was the first six months we were immune because we were, you know,

1158
01:17:46,640 --> 01:17:50,160
new probes in the second six months when you were in the meat grinder.

1159
01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:54,120
The first year I made one hundred thousand dollars.

1160
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:57,560
So that was mandatory overtime. But here's what happens then.

1161
01:17:57,560 --> 01:18:04,360
Then journalists research firefighter or police officers salaries and like they're making all this money.

1162
01:18:04,360 --> 01:18:07,600
No one ever tells them that that's because they were told they couldn't go home.

1163
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:11,280
They didn't want to make that much money. You know, I mean, I didn't want to be away.

1164
01:18:11,280 --> 01:18:15,840
And at the time, it was just me. It was no no kids involved. So it wasn't as bad.

1165
01:18:15,840 --> 01:18:19,560
But if you think about it, I mean, add in children, that's I mean,

1166
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:24,240
weeks and weeks that year that you didn't get to go home, you know, so this is what so.

1167
01:18:24,240 --> 01:18:27,080
So then they use those numbers against us.

1168
01:18:27,080 --> 01:18:29,520
I say, oh, they're, you know, they're they're earning all this.

1169
01:18:29,520 --> 01:18:32,560
It's like, no, you know, they're not. That's all overtime.

1170
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:34,400
That's a 56 hour week.

1171
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:37,960
That's, you know, almost two full work days more than you fucking work.

1172
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:40,680
And then we're told we can't go home for another day.

1173
01:18:40,680 --> 01:18:42,960
That's why those numbers look high.

1174
01:18:42,960 --> 01:18:47,440
But if you boil that down to 40 hours, no, they're not earning a lot of money.

1175
01:18:47,440 --> 01:18:52,320
But you imagine in a grocery store or, you know, a butcher shop or whatever.

1176
01:18:52,320 --> 01:18:56,440
And they're like, Steve, you got to stay another week, basically another, you know,

1177
01:18:56,440 --> 01:19:00,440
because 80 hours, one overtime in the fire service, one mandatory overtime.

1178
01:19:00,440 --> 01:19:02,800
You've got to stay another entire week this week.

1179
01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:05,840
They'd be like, you've lost your fucking mind and throw your apron at you and they're out.

1180
01:19:05,840 --> 01:19:09,640
You know, so this is what people got to understand again with that currency is,

1181
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:16,040
yes, there's times that we need to be there, but money is not the be all and end all time with our loved ones is.

1182
01:19:16,040 --> 01:19:19,640
Yeah. And I've seen I know you I think you talked about it before.

1183
01:19:19,640 --> 01:19:25,480
There's some some departments, they're changing the work schedule now, where it's like, what is it?

1184
01:19:25,480 --> 01:19:28,760
They were like one day on and they got like two or three off like the.

1185
01:19:28,760 --> 01:19:34,560
Yeah, that seems I mean, I feel like that'd be a lot better.

1186
01:19:34,560 --> 01:19:37,040
Like, yeah, that's still 42 hours a week.

1187
01:19:37,040 --> 01:19:44,680
Yeah. And we're in law enforcement like the normal shift, at least like in Florida, is you work.

1188
01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:49,000
You'd have three on and two off and like two on three offer.

1189
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:51,080
Yeah, something like that. I haven't worked in a little bit.

1190
01:19:51,080 --> 01:19:54,480
But now where I work now, they're we're a little different.

1191
01:19:54,480 --> 01:19:58,480
And I like it because you have one week.

1192
01:19:58,480 --> 01:20:03,920
So one week you work four days and then and then you're off three and then the next week you work three days and you're off four.

1193
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:06,680
So you have four days off every two weeks.

1194
01:20:06,680 --> 01:20:09,800
And that's like, no, you know, you're not burning any time.

1195
01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:12,600
You can you can plan family stuff around that.

1196
01:20:12,600 --> 01:20:16,440
It's nice to always have a minimum of three days off.

1197
01:20:16,440 --> 01:20:20,480
You know, if we have training and like it'll fall on the fourth day off.

1198
01:20:20,480 --> 01:20:25,240
But having three days off minimum a week is like it's great.

1199
01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:29,400
And then the four days like we've we've had vacations, like we went up to St.

1200
01:20:29,400 --> 01:20:33,400
Augustine and back without having to burn any any time is nice.

1201
01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:41,160
Like you can plan plan around that better because it all ends up because I mean, we end up working with 14, 15 days a month.

1202
01:20:41,160 --> 01:20:45,400
And that's the same as that other schedule. But the other schedule you're working every other weekend.

1203
01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:52,960
And instead of here, you're working one month, you'll work Monday to Wednesday or Thursday.

1204
01:20:52,960 --> 01:20:57,560
And then the next month you work Thursday to Sunday or Friday to Sunday.

1205
01:20:57,560 --> 01:21:02,600
And it's really it's a nice it's a nice break.

1206
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:07,400
Are they tens or 12s that you work at 12?

1207
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:16,520
So you get one one eight hour day where you come in and I've had a they try to even if you're short, they still try to, you know,

1208
01:21:16,520 --> 01:21:23,200
you have the option. So if you want to work the overtime or not, but they still try to look out for you, make sure you have that one day.

1209
01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:25,280
Yeah. So that averages to a 40 hour week.

1210
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:29,360
Then have I got that right? Yeah. Yeah. So we made our two weeks.

1211
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:36,160
So yeah, yeah, it's crazy. So, you know, and then the fire service is working 56 and no one seems to want to fix it,

1212
01:21:36,160 --> 01:21:40,480
which is why I'm beating this fucking drum as loud as I can.

1213
01:21:40,480 --> 01:21:45,320
All right. Well, then shifting, I want to get to the marathon just before we do.

1214
01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:49,520
When we go around to the kind of origin story of your journey into law enforcement,

1215
01:21:49,520 --> 01:21:58,080
you know, there was a SWAT, you know, communication overall where a decision was made, the wrong person was killed and that was your mother.

1216
01:21:58,080 --> 01:22:00,240
Talk to me about your journey into SWAT.

1217
01:22:00,240 --> 01:22:04,360
Are you still pursuing that? And if so, where are you at that point?

1218
01:22:04,360 --> 01:22:07,880
I still the game plan. You know, so I've been on this.

1219
01:22:07,880 --> 01:22:12,080
We had that child fear, but I ended up I got covered in the last go around.

1220
01:22:12,080 --> 01:22:16,640
So I didn't make it past the assessments here, but that's still a career goal.

1221
01:22:16,640 --> 01:22:26,320
You know, I think if this is all said and done and I never get on the SWAT team, I feel like I was just a fat piece of shit that just never put in the work.

1222
01:22:26,320 --> 01:22:34,840
So I think it's still a career goal of mine, you know, because I did I did see and see how some negotiations I did that before.

1223
01:22:34,840 --> 01:22:43,000
And I feel like later on when I get older, I get back into that after I can make the SWAT team, you know, do that for a while.

1224
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:47,560
And once I get over the transition over to that. So it's still still a goal.

1225
01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:52,720
You know, I still we have a great team here. It seems they care about it.

1226
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:59,440
It's nice when you have teams that have a standard, when you have some agencies, you know, they don't have a standard and some have it.

1227
01:22:59,440 --> 01:23:05,520
And you respect the ones that do. And it's like, OK, here's the standard. They're not going to fold.

1228
01:23:05,520 --> 01:23:10,480
And you got to be able to meet the standard. So it's like, all right, I need to get in better shape.

1229
01:23:10,480 --> 01:23:15,040
And we've got to keep putting in the work. So I couldn't agree more.

1230
01:23:15,040 --> 01:23:20,200
Yeah. Yeah. It inspires the good candidates then rather than just inviting everyone in.

1231
01:23:20,200 --> 01:23:23,840
Yeah, because once you let everyone in, then it's like, OK, well, then what kind of team do we have?

1232
01:23:23,840 --> 01:23:30,000
You know, yeah. And again, is a mistake going to be made with the costs, you know, a family, their mother? Yeah.

1233
01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:36,160
Yeah. And I'm not saying that was the case in this particular one, but I just had a couple of British armed police officers on.

1234
01:23:36,160 --> 01:23:39,840
And they were talking about this. No one.

1235
01:23:39,840 --> 01:23:49,080
They see no one's volunteering to join the armed unit now, because every time there's an officer involved shooting, their legs are cut from under them.

1236
01:23:49,080 --> 01:23:51,960
You know, and they're justified shootings. I mean, it's horrendous.

1237
01:23:51,960 --> 01:23:59,320
And again, it goes back to how did that particular criminal get into that point from a young child to where they are now that put them in that position?

1238
01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:05,000
But and so they answer they're like, if they're not careful, then they're going to force everyone in the UK to carry a gun.

1239
01:24:05,000 --> 01:24:09,720
So then you have the ones that should be carrying and the ones that shouldn't be carrying or with a gun on their side.

1240
01:24:09,720 --> 01:24:12,080
And that's a very, very dangerous place.

1241
01:24:12,080 --> 01:24:19,400
So what's the what's the number on that? Because I remember a while back, I met a person that was from from the UK.

1242
01:24:19,400 --> 01:24:23,320
And she she was like, you have a gun on you. And I'm like, yeah, I'm a cop.

1243
01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:28,080
She's like, oh, they all don't have one over there. And that was the first time I learned that.

1244
01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:30,720
I didn't know it was like they have some trained.

1245
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:33,040
So, I mean, I imagine it's pretty a big agency.

1246
01:24:33,040 --> 01:24:42,160
But like, is it kind of like where we have like, you know, like a SWAT team and like a critical response team would be like the guys that have the guns and then over there?

1247
01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:45,080
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

1248
01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:53,800
I think there's different acronyms, but yeah, the the armed the police firearm unit.

1249
01:24:53,800 --> 01:24:58,880
I forget. But anyway, but I think that there's only it was a few thousand.

1250
01:24:58,880 --> 01:25:01,800
I forget if it was four or more than that.

1251
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:07,640
But there would be 33 armed with very little training if it went to the other way.

1252
01:25:07,640 --> 01:25:11,080
And I think he said that usually is about 250 applicants.

1253
01:25:11,080 --> 01:25:16,360
And I think this is probably London, so the Metropolitan Police for the armed unit.

1254
01:25:16,360 --> 01:25:20,320
And the last go around, they had six people apply.

1255
01:25:20,320 --> 01:25:28,160
So circling around what we're talking about recruitment, you know, if you if you betray your law enforcement community.

1256
01:25:28,160 --> 01:25:33,800
And I say the same with the fire, if you don't support them and give them the workweek that allows them to thrive one day,

1257
01:25:33,800 --> 01:25:39,440
you won't have a law enforcement agency anymore or a fire department or EMS or dispatch or corrections.

1258
01:25:39,440 --> 01:25:44,800
And then what are you going to do? All those people are going to be running around criminalizing your community

1259
01:25:44,800 --> 01:25:50,800
and your house will be burning and no one's going to show up and your mother will die of a heart attack or whatever it is.

1260
01:25:50,800 --> 01:25:53,880
We're at that point now. The exciting thing is we can fix it.

1261
01:25:53,880 --> 01:25:57,520
We can fix it. These are all easy, preventable solutions.

1262
01:25:57,520 --> 01:26:01,200
And the money is even there because you bleed money doing it the wrong way.

1263
01:26:01,200 --> 01:26:04,960
But we need courageous leaders to step the fuck up and say enough is enough.

1264
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,720
And that's what we're missing.

1265
01:26:06,720 --> 01:26:14,040
Yeah, I had a supervisor a while back, he would always say each city will get its police department that it deserves.

1266
01:26:14,040 --> 01:26:22,760
And if you have a city that doesn't support you, it's going to it's hard to make the guys want to go out and risk their lives.

1267
01:26:22,760 --> 01:26:32,320
But luckily here where I'm at, it sounds like we have a great city council and a relationship between the city and the police department

1268
01:26:32,320 --> 01:26:41,520
and the fire to where we have the support and it's nice having the support to be able to like, hey, this is what we need to help with recruitment.

1269
01:26:41,520 --> 01:26:50,680
And we can get that. And it's definitely I think now the numbers are kind of going up,

1270
01:26:50,680 --> 01:26:56,120
but it's hard this day and age to find people that want to be cops or want to be firefighters.

1271
01:26:56,120 --> 01:27:00,000
And it's just trying to figure out how we can how can we get that.

1272
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:06,360
And I know our recruiting team, she's been the main recruiter, she's been there forever.

1273
01:27:06,360 --> 01:27:13,480
And I remember it took me I told her I said, man, it took it took me about 10 years to finally come here because I tried to apply here before.

1274
01:27:13,480 --> 01:27:19,280
But I didn't pass on one of the like initial tests when I was younger and I've gone a different route.

1275
01:27:19,280 --> 01:27:24,320
So it it's definitely comes down to recruiting.

1276
01:27:24,320 --> 01:27:32,160
And then that, like you said, that tear of city support or county support in regards to getting the people what they need,

1277
01:27:32,160 --> 01:27:36,640
because they see that there's no support. And why would I come here?

1278
01:27:36,640 --> 01:27:41,120
You know, especially especially where it's like, OK, I'm risking my life.

1279
01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:48,160
You know, if we have a it's a high crime area and it's a dangerous city to where we need people, we need support.

1280
01:27:48,160 --> 01:27:52,520
Instead, you know, you have to worry about if I get into a shooting or if I fight a guy,

1281
01:27:52,520 --> 01:27:57,600
am I going to wake up the next day and find out city council thinks that was, you know,

1282
01:27:57,600 --> 01:28:02,040
it wasn't a justifiable use of force is stressful because because I don't want to get fired.

1283
01:28:02,040 --> 01:28:05,120
I don't want to get I don't want to lose my job. I got bills to pay.

1284
01:28:05,120 --> 01:28:11,840
You know, I got I got kids that need. So it's definitely it comes down to like this.

1285
01:28:11,840 --> 01:28:15,800
Like what that quote was, man, each city gets a police department it deserves.

1286
01:28:15,800 --> 01:28:20,760
So, yeah, well, I mean, the one conversation which we've touched on as well is how you know,

1287
01:28:20,760 --> 01:28:25,000
why are we making so many dangerous people in the first place through in our society?

1288
01:28:25,000 --> 01:28:31,800
But the other thing I've shared a post thing it was last week, we lost eight police officers in that one week.

1289
01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:38,800
I think today when I woke up to Polk County officers or intensive care after being shot by a sovereign citizen,

1290
01:28:38,800 --> 01:28:45,960
air quotes, piece of shit. And, you know, so it's, you know, it's terrifying.

1291
01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:49,000
I mean, you guys are in such a dangerous environment.

1292
01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:51,880
And one thing that really kind of springs to mind is Brendan Coates,

1293
01:28:51,880 --> 01:28:57,000
who was Orange County police officer that used to come to Station 50 all the time.

1294
01:28:57,000 --> 01:29:01,400
And he went out on a traffic stop and they found him shot to death with his taser deployed.

1295
01:29:01,400 --> 01:29:04,960
So he tried the less lethal force and it cost him his life.

1296
01:29:04,960 --> 01:29:10,440
You know, so this is a problem is that it's probably creating either, you know, in some areas,

1297
01:29:10,440 --> 01:29:15,120
more shootings because we're not holding training and fitness standards high.

1298
01:29:15,120 --> 01:29:19,840
But in other areas, officers are dying because they're second guessing themselves

1299
01:29:19,840 --> 01:29:22,880
on using the appropriate lethal force in that moment.

1300
01:29:22,880 --> 01:29:30,280
Yeah. And one thing I like about where I'm at now is our training unit, actually,

1301
01:29:30,280 --> 01:29:35,520
because we had this busy city and we've had some officer involved shootings to where

1302
01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:40,560
a training will come out and we kind of, you know, the training will be based upon something that we had.

1303
01:29:40,560 --> 01:29:45,640
And it's more involved, you know, they're more frequent.

1304
01:29:45,640 --> 01:29:50,200
I probably would like once a month or so they try to get something in or every two months or whatever.

1305
01:29:50,200 --> 01:29:58,480
But the resources that we have here, because, you know, one of the main ranges that are in the county is ours.

1306
01:29:58,480 --> 01:30:02,760
So we have access to the range to go train whenever we need to.

1307
01:30:02,760 --> 01:30:10,400
And this last training that we did, it was pretty it was a good training to where like, hey,

1308
01:30:10,400 --> 01:30:14,640
let's let's get some let's do some shooting where we elevate our heart rate.

1309
01:30:14,640 --> 01:30:21,040
You know, let's do some running, you know, some going over some obstacles and moving, running and shooting instead of just

1310
01:30:21,040 --> 01:30:29,480
line up on the target, hit, you know, hit the state qualifications and then check off and then, you know, say, all right,

1311
01:30:29,480 --> 01:30:33,520
you can go train, but, you know, we don't have time to schedule to come out to the range.

1312
01:30:33,520 --> 01:30:38,240
Instead, it's like, hey, it's here if you want to train, if, you know,

1313
01:30:38,240 --> 01:30:43,680
we can just clean up after yourself when you're done, if you need access to it, you can get access to it.

1314
01:30:43,680 --> 01:30:51,520
So I think that's it's nice seeing the training unit here focus on, hey,

1315
01:30:51,520 --> 01:30:56,320
these things are happening and we're not just worried about you passing a state qualification.

1316
01:30:56,320 --> 01:31:02,880
We need to make sure that, you know, if you're able to, can you pick up your zone partner and drag them into cover

1317
01:31:02,880 --> 01:31:07,960
and then go back onto the target and then run and then go shoot with the elevated heart rate?

1318
01:31:07,960 --> 01:31:15,880
Can you do that? Because if you've never done that and the first time you do it is at work where you're clocked in,

1319
01:31:15,880 --> 01:31:21,960
it's going to be tough, you know, so your body can't go where your mind hasn't been.

1320
01:31:21,960 --> 01:31:25,840
So like you always got to think about like, hey, this could happen.

1321
01:31:25,840 --> 01:31:28,800
Let's try to let's try to simulate that in training.

1322
01:31:28,800 --> 01:31:33,720
And it's nice to have people here that care about that.

1323
01:31:33,720 --> 01:31:41,440
Reminds me of a video I shared about six months ago, and it was a civilian who actually had a prior criminal record himself.

1324
01:31:41,440 --> 01:31:46,920
And an officer was shot. It was kind of like I think it was alongside like a semi or it's a big vehicle.

1325
01:31:46,920 --> 01:31:49,840
And this guy dragged him like he was in Call of Duty.

1326
01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:53,000
It was amazing. Like it was such an amazing drag.

1327
01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:56,640
You know, and this is someone who had been the other side of the law before, you know, but that's the thing.

1328
01:31:56,640 --> 01:32:01,000
If that guy can do it, then we sure as hell, you know, we're paid to do it.

1329
01:32:01,000 --> 01:32:03,840
So we should be able to do it. Yeah.

1330
01:32:03,840 --> 01:32:07,760
I know, especially I know you see it around where you're at.

1331
01:32:07,760 --> 01:32:13,200
It's been like a lot of jujitsu training and like advocates for like cops who and jujitsu.

1332
01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:20,080
And and like now I tell people, I mean, you got you got to look at somebody's ears before you just think you're going to fight somebody.

1333
01:32:20,080 --> 01:32:24,320
Yeah. You try going hands on and then this dude will friggin snap your neck.

1334
01:32:24,320 --> 01:32:30,720
And it's like, man, you got to you got to you can't just say, you know, I'm going to shoot or you don't know how to go hands on.

1335
01:32:30,720 --> 01:32:32,760
But, you know, not just fistfight.

1336
01:32:32,760 --> 01:32:40,440
So it's definitely growing because I've seen I don't know if you saw the video where I think it was like a high school.

1337
01:32:40,440 --> 01:32:48,360
There was like a melee at a high school and this kid, he he had like a wrestling background and friggin took down the cop.

1338
01:32:48,360 --> 01:32:53,320
Like he took him down and was like, OK, like we need to you need to make sure that you're not in that situation

1339
01:32:53,320 --> 01:32:58,200
where you're getting taken down by these younger people that know the skills that you don't know.

1340
01:32:58,200 --> 01:33:03,920
That's terrifying. Anyone has actually been in wrestling or you just so you realize how humbling it is when someone,

1341
01:33:03,920 --> 01:33:08,640
you know, 50 pounds lighter than you ragdolls you like, oh, shit.

1342
01:33:08,640 --> 01:33:11,640
Yeah, this is not good. Yeah.

1343
01:33:11,640 --> 01:33:17,320
All right. Well, then one more area when we're into fitness, talk to me about training for a marathon.

1344
01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:23,600
So so this this year I signed up for my first full marathon in November.

1345
01:33:23,600 --> 01:33:30,640
And for the past six years now, when I so what got me into running,

1346
01:33:30,640 --> 01:33:35,360
there was a walking step challenge at my old agency.

1347
01:33:35,360 --> 01:33:43,760
And it was like they said the first top 10 or top five would get like a free entry into a Space Coast half marathon.

1348
01:33:43,760 --> 01:33:49,680
So it was just it was a fun thing to do, try to get your steps in with the coworkers.

1349
01:33:49,680 --> 01:33:57,200
And I was like, all right, well, if I can, if I can get a free entry, I'll run it.

1350
01:33:57,200 --> 01:34:02,080
You know, ran ran my first half and I was like, OK, let me try to make this a regular thing.

1351
01:34:02,080 --> 01:34:08,400
So I've been running the half marathon for the past six years.

1352
01:34:08,400 --> 01:34:15,080
And then I started signing up for different ones and it was like, all right, let me I can do the half.

1353
01:34:15,080 --> 01:34:21,720
I know what it takes to do that and complete it, but let's try to challenge ourselves to do something harder, you know,

1354
01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:27,360
because like you I don't want to get older and get worse like the you know, you're getting better, you're getting worse.

1355
01:34:27,360 --> 01:34:34,760
So I was like, all right, let me let me do this hard thing because you can't you won't grow being comfortable.

1356
01:34:34,760 --> 01:34:40,080
And I felt comfortable always doing the half because I know like my time will go down.

1357
01:34:40,080 --> 01:34:46,200
And then my time kind of sits around the same as like a fat guy pace of like 13, 14 minute pace.

1358
01:34:46,200 --> 01:34:49,080
So I'm like, all right, let me let me do the full.

1359
01:34:49,080 --> 01:34:55,600
And I kept telling myself first it started off as for my birthday this year,

1360
01:34:55,600 --> 01:34:59,360
I'm going to try to run 20 miles on my birthday weekend.

1361
01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:03,400
So that'll be over the summer. So I was like, I don't do that.

1362
01:35:03,400 --> 01:35:06,920
And then I said, all right, let me do the full and finally sign up for the full.

1363
01:35:06,920 --> 01:35:12,560
And I signed up for it. And then I went through the stages of like, all right, I paid for it.

1364
01:35:12,560 --> 01:35:15,920
I got to do it. I made a Facebook post and told everybody.

1365
01:35:15,920 --> 01:35:18,920
So now it's out there. I can't bitch up if I don't do it.

1366
01:35:18,920 --> 01:35:22,600
Then it's going to look like, you know, look like a loser and chicken out.

1367
01:35:22,600 --> 01:35:27,920
So so the game plan is to hit that and and just try to do it, man.

1368
01:35:27,920 --> 01:35:35,520
It's I'm running, running something that is a turn to a hobby, like kind of fitness.

1369
01:35:35,520 --> 01:35:38,160
I mean, you already know I had the garage gym.

1370
01:35:38,160 --> 01:35:41,880
It went it up about two years ago, actually ended up

1371
01:35:41,880 --> 01:35:44,720
getting the slab of concrete poured in the back for the patio.

1372
01:35:44,720 --> 01:35:46,680
And I just went with the babies.

1373
01:35:46,680 --> 01:35:51,120
I was trying to run out to the street, ended up putting my weights in the backyard on that patio.

1374
01:35:51,120 --> 01:35:53,600
So now it's a it's always out there.

1375
01:35:53,600 --> 01:36:00,400
And it's like the main thing is just trying to stay in shape, get in better shape, try to be.

1376
01:36:00,400 --> 01:36:04,000
The goal is to eventually, you know, kind of be more like a hybrid athlete of like,

1377
01:36:04,000 --> 01:36:08,480
I am strong, but I can still run and get that cardiovascular going.

1378
01:36:08,480 --> 01:36:13,160
Because I've always seen I mean, you see these videos of like 90 year olds

1379
01:36:13,160 --> 01:36:18,920
completing the Boston Marathon, and it's like it's like, man, like, how do you how do you do that?

1380
01:36:18,920 --> 01:36:20,440
Like, I want to be able to live that long.

1381
01:36:20,440 --> 01:36:27,680
And, you know, research research shows, you know, if you can run, get your heart rate going,

1382
01:36:27,680 --> 01:36:28,880
it can help extend your life.

1383
01:36:28,880 --> 01:36:33,960
So I'm just trying to live, live healthier and like live longer than whatever I would have been.

1384
01:36:33,960 --> 01:36:36,400
So that's the that's the big one.

1385
01:36:36,400 --> 01:36:43,320
Once doing that and then eventually when it's all said and done, like a life goal is to hit an ultra race or two.

1386
01:36:43,320 --> 01:36:46,280
So that'll be that'll be a fun one.

1387
01:36:46,280 --> 01:36:51,120
And I just want to like kind of be that role model of like showing my kids like, hey, you know,

1388
01:36:51,120 --> 01:36:54,360
you can do hard things because I always tell my daughter she could do hard things.

1389
01:36:54,360 --> 01:37:02,120
And and now I'm like, all right, let me just show her that I can still do do hard things and kind of be positive role model for him.

1390
01:37:02,120 --> 01:37:05,160
I love that that phrase.

1391
01:37:05,160 --> 01:37:18,320
I could choose your heart, meaning you can do hard things like, you know, meal prepping and, you know, exercising and taking the time to actually meditate,

1392
01:37:18,320 --> 01:37:26,600
which, again, in itself are not hard, but it's that discipline or you can let yourself be deconditioned and your hard things might be simply walking.

1393
01:37:26,600 --> 01:37:29,960
It might be remembering to take all your pills that you have to pop every day.

1394
01:37:29,960 --> 01:37:40,160
And when you talk about the running immediately in my mind, you know, just those videos of those overweight cops giving up on a foot pursuit within 15 seconds.

1395
01:37:40,160 --> 01:37:44,960
You know, now that might be someone who just, you know, shoplifted and it's not a big deal,

1396
01:37:44,960 --> 01:37:49,920
but it might also be someone running towards a preschool with a gun and you just allowed that slaughter to happen.

1397
01:37:49,920 --> 01:37:56,160
So I think more so in law enforcement outside of the military, that ability to run is really important.

1398
01:37:56,160 --> 01:38:01,920
It reminds me of a friend of mine, Casey, she's a canine handler and the way she described it,

1399
01:38:01,920 --> 01:38:05,280
she's like, I don't want to be at it. I don't try and catch them straight away.

1400
01:38:05,280 --> 01:38:08,600
I just keep pace initially because they go all out.

1401
01:38:08,600 --> 01:38:11,560
Then they hit their wall and she goes and then I and then I grab them.

1402
01:38:11,560 --> 01:38:17,600
So even just having that that calm whilst you're pursuing someone on foot is important.

1403
01:38:17,600 --> 01:38:22,960
So I can see how that would, you know, would factor in greatly to your journey into SWAT as well.

1404
01:38:22,960 --> 01:38:29,560
Yeah, and I had I had a moment where there was one time I was working a traffic detail

1405
01:38:29,560 --> 01:38:32,720
where we were just sitting at the railroad and I said to myself,

1406
01:38:32,720 --> 01:38:36,840
let me try to run from like a certain point in back in the middle of the night.

1407
01:38:36,840 --> 01:38:43,680
Nothing's happening. So I banged out a 5k in full full uniforms back and forth to see if I could do it.

1408
01:38:43,680 --> 01:38:49,480
And then I want to say like a month or two later, there was an accident across on across a bridge

1409
01:38:49,480 --> 01:38:53,200
and I couldn't get my car up to the accident on the other side.

1410
01:38:53,200 --> 01:38:58,480
So I literally had to like jog from one base of the bridge to up to the other.

1411
01:38:58,480 --> 01:39:01,720
And I remember like doing it and like I'm kind of running.

1412
01:39:01,720 --> 01:39:05,800
And then these some of the citizens stuck in their car, they're like clapping and cheering.

1413
01:39:05,800 --> 01:39:09,200
I'm like, don't clap and cheer. I'm about to die.

1414
01:39:09,200 --> 01:39:11,520
But you got your game face on.

1415
01:39:11,520 --> 01:39:13,280
I'm like, please stop. Please stop clapping.

1416
01:39:13,280 --> 01:39:17,120
But it was OK. I didn't I didn't wake up thinking I was going to have to do this.

1417
01:39:17,120 --> 01:39:22,120
But you never know where you have to fricking run up, run up a high incline.

1418
01:39:22,120 --> 01:39:24,800
Wearing your uniform is not easy.

1419
01:39:24,800 --> 01:39:29,360
So it's better to be able to know that you can do it, you know, running.

1420
01:39:29,360 --> 01:39:35,800
And then when the time comes, like I did this before, I can keep this pace till I get to where I need to get to.

1421
01:39:35,800 --> 01:39:36,880
Absolutely. Yeah.

1422
01:39:36,880 --> 01:39:41,760
I know that the converse of the police videos are those ones where the guy was,

1423
01:39:41,760 --> 01:39:45,560
you know, former NFL player or something and you want to

1424
01:39:45,560 --> 01:39:48,840
fricking hunt down and destroy someone who's running.

1425
01:39:48,840 --> 01:39:53,920
And that's that's the guy or girl that you want to have on your team. Yeah.

1426
01:39:53,920 --> 01:39:56,960
All right. Well, then I'm going to shift some closing questions before I let you go.

1427
01:39:56,960 --> 01:39:59,160
Same ones that I asked a couple of years ago.

1428
01:39:59,160 --> 01:40:04,600
So the first one, is there a book the last two or three years or books that you love to recommend?

1429
01:40:04,600 --> 01:40:08,520
It can be related to our discussion today or completely unrelated.

1430
01:40:08,520 --> 01:40:13,720
So the main one that I've been doing, I try to do every day,

1431
01:40:13,720 --> 01:40:20,640
The Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday. It's a good it's it feels like every time I read,

1432
01:40:20,640 --> 01:40:28,000
I read that like one of the quotes from that day turns into something that I can practice with my kids.

1433
01:40:28,000 --> 01:40:34,920
And I tell my wife, like, it's always it's always something it's almost like it's like the same when you read the Bible,

1434
01:40:34,920 --> 01:40:40,400
like when you go to church and you hear, you know, the pastor or something that reaches out where it's like, oh, man,

1435
01:40:40,400 --> 01:40:44,920
I feel like they're talking to me today. And it's the same. It's the same with that quote where it's like, oh, man,

1436
01:40:44,920 --> 01:40:49,280
I feel like I feel like I could have used that in a certain moment of like

1437
01:40:50,280 --> 01:40:56,120
how to like interact with my kids, like something with anger or something, you know, just something with wisdom.

1438
01:40:56,120 --> 01:41:01,000
So that's the main one. The Daily Dad, Ryan Holiday.

1439
01:41:01,000 --> 01:41:08,840
Another one. I got the book. I did the audio book, though. Eric Thomas, you owe you.

1440
01:41:08,840 --> 01:41:14,000
That's another good like a motivational, like self-help book in regards to like, you know,

1441
01:41:14,000 --> 01:41:19,400
just kind of being the confidence and stepping into who you are and like, you know,

1442
01:41:19,400 --> 01:41:22,480
trying to push forward and be your true authentic self.

1443
01:41:22,480 --> 01:41:29,080
And I think the last couple of years, one of that one of those things was helped me was like listening to him.

1444
01:41:29,080 --> 01:41:35,120
He's a motivational speaker. And that kind of helped me like learn to just be your true authentic self.

1445
01:41:35,120 --> 01:41:40,680
And like the energy is real, man. Like it really whoever you are kind of draws,

1446
01:41:40,680 --> 01:41:43,880
it draws you to to reach out to other people.

1447
01:41:43,880 --> 01:41:49,200
I feel like maybe me. I mean, it got it drew us together to this.

1448
01:41:49,200 --> 01:41:57,200
You know, it's kind of helped me ended up like I have a contact in like the law enforcement teaching realm

1449
01:41:57,200 --> 01:42:05,000
to where anytime there's a possible negotiations course, I guess speak in that class because, you know,

1450
01:42:05,000 --> 01:42:10,640
and it's funny because I went from one day I'm taking the class and then I see the instructor doing a PowerPoint.

1451
01:42:10,640 --> 01:42:18,120
I see my mom's obituary photo in the PowerPoint to now I'm in the class with a PowerPoint kind of talking about what happened.

1452
01:42:18,120 --> 01:42:25,240
You know, another one, one that I'm still reading is David Gargan's new book, Never Finish.

1453
01:42:25,240 --> 01:42:30,120
So that one is just kind of it's a second book.

1454
01:42:30,120 --> 01:42:36,640
It's a good book on like I think the main thing kind of goes to is like, don't don't rest on like your laurels.

1455
01:42:36,640 --> 01:42:42,480
You know, like, yeah, you did this before, like you did something hard, but you can't just go around saying,

1456
01:42:42,480 --> 01:42:46,320
oh, yeah, I ran a I ran a marathon or I did I did for him.

1457
01:42:46,320 --> 01:42:48,200
Like, you know, Navy SEALs and all that shit.

1458
01:42:48,200 --> 01:42:53,840
Like, you can't just go around to act like just because you did something two years ago doesn't mean you're still the same person you are.

1459
01:42:53,840 --> 01:42:56,040
You got to put in the work every time.

1460
01:42:56,040 --> 01:43:04,520
So for me, it was like, all right, let me because the one thing he had talked about was some people only rise to the occasion when there's like a goal.

1461
01:43:04,520 --> 01:43:06,600
So like signing up for a race.

1462
01:43:06,600 --> 01:43:09,240
But who are you when you're not signing up for a race?

1463
01:43:09,240 --> 01:43:13,000
So for me, it was like, I will my birthday is coming up.

1464
01:43:13,000 --> 01:43:14,840
Let me try to bang out a 20 mile on my birthday.

1465
01:43:14,840 --> 01:43:20,040
Let me make own personal goals instead of just making it based on a risk reward thing.

1466
01:43:20,040 --> 01:43:25,400
Like, who are you without without the the the carrot at the end of the race?

1467
01:43:25,400 --> 01:43:28,360
So I think that's a big one that I like.

1468
01:43:28,360 --> 01:43:30,360
I still reading that now.

1469
01:43:30,360 --> 01:43:33,720
Another one that it was audiobook.

1470
01:43:33,720 --> 01:43:37,160
I don't know if you ever heard the term a guy.

1471
01:43:37,160 --> 01:43:39,560
Yes, you do.

1472
01:43:39,560 --> 01:43:46,600
Yeah, the the guy is like kind of I forgot who wrote it, but I was listening to it on the audiobook.

1473
01:43:46,600 --> 01:43:51,640
And that one was a big one where it's a mixture of finding out.

1474
01:43:51,640 --> 01:43:57,160
So doing what you love, doing what you're good at and doing something you can be paid for

1475
01:43:57,160 --> 01:44:01,640
and then doing what the world needs is like if you can find out what that is for you

1476
01:44:03,480 --> 01:44:04,920
and I kind of make it work.

1477
01:44:04,920 --> 01:44:11,160
I think that's one of those things where I'm I'm trying to search for now and doing stuff like this

1478
01:44:11,160 --> 01:44:13,640
kind of makes me feel like it's in that right path.

1479
01:44:13,640 --> 01:44:18,920
You know, like just that that wellness community of like reaching out and helping people

1480
01:44:18,920 --> 01:44:23,480
and on top of like being a cop and then speaking on it while I'm at work is a nice.

1481
01:44:23,480 --> 01:44:25,480
It's like, all right, I like doing this.

1482
01:44:25,480 --> 01:44:33,000
And, you know, if I can make money doing this and help people like I can I feel like I'm doing my purpose in the world.

1483
01:44:33,000 --> 01:44:35,000
So those are the main ones.

1484
01:44:35,000 --> 01:44:37,480
Brilliant. Yeah, no, I couldn't agree more.

1485
01:44:37,480 --> 01:44:43,000
There's so much in Japanese philosophy that I think is so pertinent to a lot of us here in the West.

1486
01:44:44,280 --> 01:44:47,080
All right. What about a film or documentary that you love?

1487
01:44:47,080 --> 01:44:55,080
I mean, right now, film, documentary that I love, I was trying to get into Shogun, but I don't know if you watch it yet on FX.

1488
01:44:55,080 --> 01:44:56,680
It was one of my favorite books.

1489
01:44:56,680 --> 01:45:00,120
I think I've got the very last episode to watch and then I'm done.

1490
01:45:00,120 --> 01:45:05,560
But I loved it apart from the guy that played the the Englishman for some reason.

1491
01:45:05,560 --> 01:45:08,680
It almost seems like too much of a buffoon.

1492
01:45:08,680 --> 01:45:10,680
And I don't remember him being like that in the book.

1493
01:45:10,680 --> 01:45:12,680
But I mean, no disrespect to the actor.

1494
01:45:12,680 --> 01:45:14,680
Obviously, that's the way that they asked him to play it.

1495
01:45:14,680 --> 01:45:17,880
But apart from that, I mean, I adore that shows.

1496
01:45:17,880 --> 01:45:19,880
They're so well done.

1497
01:45:19,880 --> 01:45:20,920
Yeah, it's nice.

1498
01:45:20,920 --> 01:45:24,280
I know my wife, she doesn't want to watch things that are stressful right now.

1499
01:45:24,280 --> 01:45:26,280
So like I got to watch it when she's asleep.

1500
01:45:26,280 --> 01:45:29,080
But that's the main one I was trying to get into right now.

1501
01:45:29,080 --> 01:45:33,480
But other than that, I'm just watching like random shit that she watches.

1502
01:45:33,480 --> 01:45:35,480
We've been binge watching Hoarders.

1503
01:45:35,480 --> 01:45:39,000
Like you see that every day in real life, don't you?

1504
01:45:39,000 --> 01:45:43,480
Yeah. And I tell her, I tell her, I was like, oh, man, this house reminds me of the movie.

1505
01:45:43,480 --> 01:45:45,480
Oh, man, this house reminds me of this house at work.

1506
01:45:46,120 --> 01:45:50,280
And it's funny because like, you know, right now with all the kids, we're just trying to

1507
01:45:50,280 --> 01:45:53,000
try to navigate having three kids and keeping the house clean.

1508
01:45:53,000 --> 01:45:55,480
So she's like, I watch Hoarders and make myself feel better.

1509
01:45:55,480 --> 01:45:56,840
I'm like, yeah, you can do that.

1510
01:45:56,840 --> 01:45:59,560
So brilliant.

1511
01:45:59,560 --> 01:46:03,080
All right. Well, then the next question, is there a person that you'd recommend to come

1512
01:46:03,080 --> 01:46:07,960
on this podcast as a guest to speak to the first responders, military and associated

1513
01:46:07,960 --> 01:46:08,920
professions of the world?

1514
01:46:08,920 --> 01:46:14,360
I mean, I don't know if it's got to be the boy Doug, man.

1515
01:46:14,360 --> 01:46:16,520
I mean, did you had him on before?

1516
01:46:16,520 --> 01:46:20,040
I had him on, but it's been a long time and actually we need to circle around to another one.

1517
01:46:20,760 --> 01:46:26,600
Yeah, because I think, you know, he doesn't do it for the credit, man, what he does.

1518
01:46:27,960 --> 01:46:33,640
It's one of those things where you're put here for a reason and you're where you need to be

1519
01:46:33,640 --> 01:46:34,680
when you need to be there.

1520
01:46:34,680 --> 01:46:39,160
And anytime something happens and I got told people, I'm like, amen.

1521
01:46:39,960 --> 01:46:42,920
I know a guy and a great organization would survive first.

1522
01:46:42,920 --> 01:46:46,600
And they're like, yeah, he's already reached out and we talked to him and it's like, he's

1523
01:46:46,600 --> 01:46:49,240
just doing what he's supposed to do.

1524
01:46:49,240 --> 01:46:50,920
So I always recommend him.

1525
01:46:50,920 --> 01:46:51,480
Good people.

1526
01:46:52,200 --> 01:46:52,760
Absolutely.

1527
01:46:52,760 --> 01:46:54,680
Yeah, I just was talking to Raoul the other day.

1528
01:46:55,320 --> 01:46:58,840
Actually, it's related to my second book that I'm writing, kind of getting some of

1529
01:46:58,840 --> 01:47:01,080
the some of his perspective.

1530
01:47:01,080 --> 01:47:03,480
But I mean, you talk about SWAT and good shoots.

1531
01:47:03,480 --> 01:47:06,680
I mean, he's the one that killed the polshooter.

1532
01:47:06,680 --> 01:47:12,200
So, you know, that's when SWAT is trained correctly and has a group of men and women

1533
01:47:12,200 --> 01:47:14,360
that hold their standards very, very high.

1534
01:47:14,360 --> 01:47:16,680
It can also be the end of a massacre like that.

1535
01:47:18,280 --> 01:47:23,000
And his one of his races, if you ever get the chance, I know it's like normally in

1536
01:47:23,000 --> 01:47:24,920
January, they survive first 5k.

1537
01:47:25,720 --> 01:47:27,400
That's one of the ones I always try to do.

1538
01:47:27,400 --> 01:47:31,240
And then every time I always end up seeing Raoul and Doug and them, and it's always

1539
01:47:31,240 --> 01:47:33,560
nice seeing them out there.

1540
01:47:33,560 --> 01:47:34,840
I need to get to do that.

1541
01:47:34,840 --> 01:47:38,280
When I've actually been asked to run a marathon, I've never done a marathon in my life, but

1542
01:47:38,280 --> 01:47:43,480
with Bonnie, who was a she was a paramedic who was almost murdered.

1543
01:47:43,480 --> 01:47:46,840
I mean, she survived, but she was I think she was stabbed and shot.

1544
01:47:46,840 --> 01:47:50,840
It was horrendous, but I had a massive brain damage from it.

1545
01:47:50,840 --> 01:47:55,320
But she was I think she was initially going to try and do it standing.

1546
01:47:55,320 --> 01:47:57,480
But I think she's now going to do it in one of those chairs.

1547
01:47:57,480 --> 01:48:01,640
But she's asked me to come to I think it was Albuquerque in October, November.

1548
01:48:01,640 --> 01:48:05,960
So I'm not I haven't run much recently, so I'm going to have to get way ahead of me in

1549
01:48:05,960 --> 01:48:06,440
the training.

1550
01:48:06,440 --> 01:48:08,360
So I bought myself some sneakers.

1551
01:48:08,360 --> 01:48:09,480
So that was the first step.

1552
01:48:11,480 --> 01:48:12,840
I'm still in recovery mode.

1553
01:48:12,840 --> 01:48:18,680
So I got I'm hoping I'm hoping next week I start working out again like the balls have

1554
01:48:18,680 --> 01:48:19,640
been feeling a little better.

1555
01:48:20,120 --> 01:48:22,040
They're still kind of swollen right now.

1556
01:48:22,040 --> 01:48:24,120
But so kind of open.

1557
01:48:24,120 --> 01:48:27,160
It's been it's been about two weeks since I ran or worked out.

1558
01:48:27,160 --> 01:48:31,320
So I'm like I'm Jones and I'm trying to like make sure I don't eat too much like shit

1559
01:48:31,320 --> 01:48:33,560
because I can't can't work it out yet.

1560
01:48:33,560 --> 01:48:36,040
So just be careful with the cowbell twangs.

1561
01:48:36,760 --> 01:48:37,000
Yeah.

1562
01:48:40,040 --> 01:48:40,680
Hey, you know what?

1563
01:48:40,680 --> 01:48:41,560
You know, it's funny, man.

1564
01:48:41,560 --> 01:48:47,640
I'm so my son, he'll watch me work out and they say, man, those kids, man, they really

1565
01:48:47,640 --> 01:48:50,520
they they follow whatever you do, they do.

1566
01:48:50,520 --> 01:48:53,720
So he would always try to pick up my kettlebell and my dumbbell.

1567
01:48:53,720 --> 01:48:58,920
So my wife bought him these little styrofoam dumbbells and a styrofoam barbell.

1568
01:48:58,920 --> 01:49:01,160
And he'll literally pick it up and he'll go up.

1569
01:49:02,040 --> 01:49:03,560
Like it's awesome.

1570
01:49:03,560 --> 01:49:07,000
So I'm like, I need to make this kid strong, make him be like one of those little kids

1571
01:49:07,000 --> 01:49:07,880
that had a six pack.

1572
01:49:09,080 --> 01:49:09,640
Absolutely.

1573
01:49:09,640 --> 01:49:10,600
That's what I've said.

1574
01:49:10,600 --> 01:49:14,120
And I've just I've witnessed it being in CrossFit for 16 years.

1575
01:49:14,120 --> 01:49:19,080
And with my gym now, I think God, like more than 10 years, like you watch these children

1576
01:49:19,080 --> 01:49:21,400
grow up and my sons included.

1577
01:49:21,400 --> 01:49:27,480
And if that's what the norm is, then they like my sons off skin boarding today at the

1578
01:49:27,480 --> 01:49:27,720
beach.

1579
01:49:27,720 --> 01:49:31,880
You drove all the way to to St. Augustine just to go skin boarding.

1580
01:49:31,880 --> 01:49:33,560
No one's pushing him to do it.

1581
01:49:33,560 --> 01:49:36,280
My other son is into kind of weight lifting, bodybuilding now.

1582
01:49:36,280 --> 01:49:39,640
But the natural, thank God, not the stick a needle in your ass.

1583
01:49:41,160 --> 01:49:42,920
But, you know, but that's that's the thing.

1584
01:49:42,920 --> 01:49:47,000
So I always love watching these CrossFit kids because I've watched them grow up into,

1585
01:49:47,000 --> 01:49:51,320
you know, young adults and they, you know, it doesn't have to be CrossFit.

1586
01:49:51,320 --> 01:49:52,840
Soccer, whatever it is, gymnastics.

1587
01:49:52,840 --> 01:49:55,400
But they end up finding movement as normal.

1588
01:49:55,400 --> 01:50:01,640
So we were talking about the ability to make a difference in the world by you starting

1589
01:50:01,640 --> 01:50:02,680
to exercise.

1590
01:50:02,680 --> 01:50:04,680
You're setting the example for your children.

1591
01:50:04,680 --> 01:50:07,800
You can do that from an apartment in the Bronx.

1592
01:50:07,800 --> 01:50:11,960
You know, you can buy a cowbell and do some calisthenics and put a pull up bar in the

1593
01:50:11,960 --> 01:50:15,960
doorway and just make it normal or walk with your children.

1594
01:50:15,960 --> 01:50:21,080
But yeah, I mean, it's it's it's so evident like the children that grow up watching their

1595
01:50:21,080 --> 01:50:26,280
parents take ownership of their health and fitness end up doing the same almost every

1596
01:50:26,280 --> 01:50:26,920
single time.

1597
01:50:27,720 --> 01:50:28,920
Yeah, I mean, definitely.

1598
01:50:29,800 --> 01:50:34,760
There was a guy that I listened to and he was like talking about how, you know, you

1599
01:50:34,760 --> 01:50:38,920
could have you could go out to the gym every day and be consistent.

1600
01:50:38,920 --> 01:50:43,400
But if you want to affect the future generation, like the kids don't see that they just see

1601
01:50:43,400 --> 01:50:44,520
you leave and come back.

1602
01:50:44,520 --> 01:50:49,480
So he ended up he was like, I'm going to have a gym at the house, have a personal trainer

1603
01:50:49,480 --> 01:50:50,280
at the house.

1604
01:50:50,280 --> 01:50:52,920
And so they could see me work out and do everything here.

1605
01:50:53,560 --> 01:50:58,280
And when I first started getting little ways here and there, you know, I wouldn't I wasn't

1606
01:50:58,280 --> 01:50:59,320
even thinking that far ahead.

1607
01:50:59,320 --> 01:51:01,320
I just thought it was, you know, covered.

1608
01:51:01,320 --> 01:51:03,240
And I just wanted to work out at home.

1609
01:51:03,240 --> 01:51:09,960
And then now it turned into my daughter will do if she's out there once I make her do like

1610
01:51:09,960 --> 01:51:11,640
10 burpees, something like that.

1611
01:51:11,640 --> 01:51:14,760
And then like my little son, he'll he'll want to pick up a barbell.

1612
01:51:14,760 --> 01:51:21,400
So I was like, OK, let me I'm planting a seed of like making them do something that they

1613
01:51:21,400 --> 01:51:25,160
think is going to be the standard of like, all right, we're older.

1614
01:51:25,160 --> 01:51:25,880
We just work out.

1615
01:51:25,880 --> 01:51:27,080
We exercise.

1616
01:51:27,080 --> 01:51:32,120
So if I can do that to make them be better when they get older, it's like they're going

1617
01:51:32,120 --> 01:51:34,760
to be better off than where I'm at.

1618
01:51:34,760 --> 01:51:41,320
And I tell I tell my wife, like we're in we're in sewing season right now.

1619
01:51:41,320 --> 01:51:44,760
We're just we're in the trenches of two babies, kids.

1620
01:51:46,200 --> 01:51:49,800
There's been a lot of times where we've been telling our friends no to hanging out because

1621
01:51:49,800 --> 01:51:51,720
there's just a lot going on right now.

1622
01:51:51,720 --> 01:51:56,280
And I'll give I'll give a public service announcement of apologizing to everybody.

1623
01:51:56,280 --> 01:52:03,560
I said no to in the last 17 months of hanging out just because, you know, we were trying

1624
01:52:03,560 --> 01:52:06,520
to put in the work with the kids and just trying to make sure they're good when they

1625
01:52:06,520 --> 01:52:07,480
get older.

1626
01:52:07,480 --> 01:52:13,800
So it's it's definitely you know, it's hard, you know, choose your hard like the hard that

1627
01:52:13,800 --> 01:52:17,800
we're choosing is having three kids and a marriage and going through it together.

1628
01:52:18,760 --> 01:52:24,840
But it's we know later on, you know, when they get older, it'll be great to watch them

1629
01:52:24,840 --> 01:52:29,480
doing whatever they do and and then just having a bunch of grandkids and we could just chill

1630
01:52:30,040 --> 01:52:33,080
knowing that, you know, we we did a good job at raising them.

1631
01:52:33,080 --> 01:52:38,120
So I've said a lot recently because my son's 17 this year.

1632
01:52:38,120 --> 01:52:43,160
So I've got basically one more school year and he may he may be here for for a bit.

1633
01:52:43,160 --> 01:52:50,120
But it's basically my philosophy is you should be exhausted by the time they turn 18

1634
01:52:50,120 --> 01:52:52,200
because you've poured your heart and soul into them.

1635
01:52:52,200 --> 01:52:56,840
And then obviously, you know, they go into the world and, you know, the goal is to create

1636
01:52:56,840 --> 01:52:58,280
a mother Teresa, not a Hitler.

1637
01:52:58,280 --> 01:52:58,840
You know what I mean?

1638
01:52:58,840 --> 01:53:02,280
At the end of the day, to make it really black and white.

1639
01:53:02,280 --> 01:53:06,280
So hopefully you've made a good human being that can stand on their own two feet,

1640
01:53:06,280 --> 01:53:08,920
that will be a protector, that will do something good in the world.

1641
01:53:08,920 --> 01:53:10,200
And that takes effort.

1642
01:53:10,200 --> 01:53:11,160
I mean, it just does.

1643
01:53:11,160 --> 01:53:14,840
And then over and above shift work and all the other things that you do.

1644
01:53:14,840 --> 01:53:17,160
So, yeah, I mean, I commend you.

1645
01:53:17,160 --> 01:53:19,640
I mean, they they come first every single time.

1646
01:53:20,360 --> 01:53:21,640
Yeah, I appreciate it.

1647
01:53:21,640 --> 01:53:27,720
It's I know what I'm like I said with my daughter, like she's we've she's done so many things

1648
01:53:27,720 --> 01:53:32,440
that I've never done where it's like I just want her to, you know,

1649
01:53:33,240 --> 01:53:38,360
once she gets older, she can look back and I got to do everything I wanted to do

1650
01:53:38,360 --> 01:53:40,680
because I have my parents there to help support me.

1651
01:53:40,680 --> 01:53:43,080
Like, you know, frigging horseback riding.

1652
01:53:43,080 --> 01:53:43,640
Like, I don't know.

1653
01:53:45,320 --> 01:53:46,520
I don't know anything about that.

1654
01:53:46,520 --> 01:53:48,760
I'm asking I'm asking her trainer when she's out there.

1655
01:53:48,760 --> 01:53:50,440
I'm like, how do how do we do this?

1656
01:53:50,440 --> 01:53:53,000
Because like in the future, I want to get a farm.

1657
01:53:53,000 --> 01:53:55,000
So I'm like, you need to teach me how to do that.

1658
01:53:55,480 --> 01:53:57,480
But swimming and all this.

1659
01:53:57,480 --> 01:54:02,200
I still can't swim and frigging the downfall being a kid from New York,

1660
01:54:02,200 --> 01:54:03,400
like black don't float.

1661
01:54:03,400 --> 01:54:04,920
But my kids can swim.

1662
01:54:05,800 --> 01:54:08,120
Like if I'm in the pool, she's going to save me.

1663
01:54:08,120 --> 01:54:10,200
Like I need to I need to make sure I can do that.

1664
01:54:10,200 --> 01:54:15,320
But it's definitely I mean, you know, it's a lot of work just like putting into them,

1665
01:54:15,320 --> 01:54:17,960
just trying to give them trying to give them what you didn't have

1666
01:54:17,960 --> 01:54:20,840
and make sure, you know, they're better off than how you were.

1667
01:54:22,840 --> 01:54:25,880
I got called a racist once by one of my firefighter friends for

1668
01:54:25,880 --> 01:54:28,120
quoting something that is actually science.

1669
01:54:28,120 --> 01:54:33,720
When I was in sports science years ago, different ethnicities actually have slightly different

1670
01:54:34,440 --> 01:54:36,600
bone density and muscle mass.

1671
01:54:36,600 --> 01:54:40,600
And so, you know, if you have a postmenopausal white woman,

1672
01:54:40,600 --> 01:54:43,160
she will float like a piece of styrofoam on the water.

1673
01:54:43,160 --> 01:54:47,640
But if you have an athletic African American, you know, man or woman,

1674
01:54:47,640 --> 01:54:49,160
they are less likely to float.

1675
01:54:49,160 --> 01:54:49,960
I'm a sinker.

1676
01:54:49,960 --> 01:54:50,440
I don't know.

1677
01:54:50,440 --> 01:54:52,200
I've got, you know, dense bones myself.

1678
01:54:52,200 --> 01:54:54,680
Like people hate you got you got black ones.

1679
01:54:54,680 --> 01:54:56,040
Black ones. You got black.

1680
01:54:58,040 --> 01:55:02,040
So, you know, but there is actually an anatomical element to that as well,

1681
01:55:02,040 --> 01:55:03,240
you know, that you got to factor in.

1682
01:55:03,240 --> 01:55:05,720
But then, you know, you look at also storytelling.

1683
01:55:05,720 --> 01:55:11,320
I had a guy, Tom Hewitt, who has an organization in South Africa called

1684
01:55:11,960 --> 01:55:13,800
Surfers Not Street Children.

1685
01:55:13,800 --> 01:55:18,600
And a lot of the, you know, the whites in Africa, South Africa back then told them about,

1686
01:55:18,600 --> 01:55:20,680
you know, monsters and don't go in the ocean.

1687
01:55:20,680 --> 01:55:23,800
So culturally as well, they kept away from war.

1688
01:55:23,800 --> 01:55:27,080
So a lot of times they had to teach these young kids to swim first.

1689
01:55:27,080 --> 01:55:28,520
And then they taught them how to surf.

1690
01:55:28,520 --> 01:55:29,640
It was an amazing program.

1691
01:55:29,640 --> 01:55:31,160
Then they would sit on the beach.

1692
01:55:31,160 --> 01:55:32,680
And that's when the counseling would happen.

1693
01:55:32,680 --> 01:55:37,000
So these kids were street kids, you know, from losing their parents from AIDS and all

1694
01:55:37,000 --> 01:55:37,720
these other things.

1695
01:55:37,720 --> 01:55:41,240
So, yeah, I mean, that's that's what I'm trying to convince my wife, Becky,

1696
01:55:41,240 --> 01:55:43,240
can't swim, you know, still.

1697
01:55:43,240 --> 01:55:46,440
And it's like, yeah, it's one of those life skills along with running that,

1698
01:55:46,440 --> 01:55:47,640
you know, that we need.

1699
01:55:47,640 --> 01:55:51,240
So hopefully as your daughter gets better and better, that will get you,

1700
01:55:51,240 --> 01:55:52,520
you know, into the pool more too.

1701
01:55:52,520 --> 01:55:56,120
Yeah, I keep a life jacket in the patrol car, man.

1702
01:55:56,120 --> 01:55:59,720
At one time there was a call when I was working beach side,

1703
01:55:59,720 --> 01:56:02,040
it was possible, drowning at the beach.

1704
01:56:02,040 --> 01:56:05,000
And my lieutenant looks at me, he's like, Nick, what are you going to do?

1705
01:56:05,000 --> 01:56:08,920
I was like, I'm going to go out there and hopefully by the time I get to the water,

1706
01:56:08,920 --> 01:56:10,840
the firefighter should be there.

1707
01:56:10,840 --> 01:56:13,240
So that's the game plan.

1708
01:56:13,240 --> 01:56:20,280
So, but yeah, definitely the life goals, man, is when it's all said and done,

1709
01:56:20,280 --> 01:56:26,840
I want to be able to just retire, do what you do all day surf.

1710
01:56:26,840 --> 01:56:31,000
One of those things is a bucket list, same more sooner than later,

1711
01:56:31,000 --> 01:56:36,760
learn how to swim, surf and just do jujitsu and elk hunt in the mountains

1712
01:56:36,760 --> 01:56:37,960
and just enjoy life.

1713
01:56:37,960 --> 01:56:39,240
Like that's the retirement plan.

1714
01:56:39,240 --> 01:56:40,440
I already got it mapped out.

1715
01:56:40,440 --> 01:56:41,720
That's all I'm going to be doing.

1716
01:56:42,920 --> 01:56:43,720
Love it.

1717
01:56:43,720 --> 01:56:44,280
Love it.

1718
01:56:44,280 --> 01:56:44,520
All right.

1719
01:56:44,520 --> 01:56:50,440
Well, for people listening, where are the best places to find you on social media or online?

1720
01:56:50,440 --> 01:56:54,760
Uh, I mean, best place is just, uh, Instagram, Nick 97 colt.

1721
01:56:55,720 --> 01:56:57,560
So that's really the main thing.

1722
01:56:57,560 --> 01:56:59,400
I feel like I need to make a website.

1723
01:56:59,400 --> 01:57:01,320
You got all these, uh, famous people out here, man.

1724
01:57:01,320 --> 01:57:05,080
I got a, I'm trying to, I'm following up Tulsi Gabbard.

1725
01:57:05,080 --> 01:57:05,960
This is a lot of pressure.

1726
01:57:08,680 --> 01:57:10,120
She was so good, man.

1727
01:57:10,120 --> 01:57:11,000
So good.

1728
01:57:11,000 --> 01:57:12,040
I listened to it.

1729
01:57:12,040 --> 01:57:13,080
It was a good episode.

1730
01:57:13,080 --> 01:57:16,520
And it was funny on the other night we were watching, um, the Avengers again.

1731
01:57:17,080 --> 01:57:20,760
And I was telling my wife, I was like, um, you know, Thanos Josh Brolin.

1732
01:57:20,760 --> 01:57:25,640
I'm like, it's like he was, he talked to James like no pressure for me, but

1733
01:57:27,800 --> 01:57:31,080
I was like, you for actually, yeah, no, he did.

1734
01:57:31,080 --> 01:57:31,800
I'm going to send him.

1735
01:57:31,800 --> 01:57:33,640
I'm almost done with my first draft of my second.

1736
01:57:33,640 --> 01:57:37,160
So once the editor is finished with that, then, uh, I'm going to be sending that to him too.

1737
01:57:37,160 --> 01:57:39,800
But, uh, yeah, cause my, he's talking about pipe dream.

1738
01:57:39,800 --> 01:57:42,600
My, my goal is to make the book into a TV show.

1739
01:57:42,600 --> 01:57:49,480
And, and finally put the modern firefighter story, but also the multi-generational trauma story and

1740
01:57:49,480 --> 01:57:54,600
the hope that you can grow from this, um, through this kind of three generational story that I've

1741
01:57:54,600 --> 01:57:55,000
written.

1742
01:57:55,000 --> 01:57:59,560
But, uh, so yeah, I'm probably speaking to Josh a lot more because he tends to kind of perk up

1743
01:57:59,560 --> 01:58:02,680
when it's art, like he's a phenomenal, phenomenal writer.

1744
01:58:02,680 --> 01:58:04,200
So that's normally when we talk the most.

1745
01:58:04,760 --> 01:58:08,920
Yeah, that'd be better than, um, those, some of those shows they make now with the rookie

1746
01:58:08,920 --> 01:58:15,320
and all that where it's like, it's like, ah, it's so funny, like kind of look at law enforcement

1747
01:58:15,320 --> 01:58:19,240
and firefighting, but it's like, can we get something a little bit more, uh, serious to

1748
01:58:19,240 --> 01:58:21,480
kind of deeper conversations, you know?

1749
01:58:21,480 --> 01:58:22,040
Yeah.

1750
01:58:22,040 --> 01:58:24,520
This is going to hit your balls as hard as you have a sex to me.

1751
01:58:24,520 --> 01:58:25,080
I promise you.

1752
01:58:28,600 --> 01:58:29,080
All right.

1753
01:58:31,880 --> 01:58:33,800
Well, Nate, I want to say thank you again.

1754
01:58:33,800 --> 01:58:36,920
I mean, the first time we had an amazing conversation and we were, you know, face to

1755
01:58:36,920 --> 01:58:42,120
face this time, obviously we're a little further apart, but, um, it's been another unique

1756
01:58:42,120 --> 01:58:42,760
perspective.

1757
01:58:42,760 --> 01:58:47,000
I mean, not only revisiting, you know, the, the story of your mother and talking about

1758
01:58:47,000 --> 01:58:51,240
her again, which I think is important, but also seeing where you've progressed to now.

1759
01:58:51,240 --> 01:58:56,040
And I think the value of what you have done to make sure that you're present with your

1760
01:58:56,040 --> 01:58:57,800
family, I think is so important.

1761
01:58:57,800 --> 01:59:02,040
So I want to thank you so much for being so generous with your time and coming on, coming

1762
01:59:02,040 --> 01:59:04,440
back on, should I say the behind the shield podcast?

1763
01:59:05,080 --> 01:59:05,560
Thank you, man.

1764
01:59:05,560 --> 01:59:06,840
I appreciate you having me.

1765
01:59:06,840 --> 01:59:35,960
That was always fun talking.