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Welcome to the Behind the Shield podcast as always my name is James Gearing and this week
it is my absolute honor to welcome on the show entrepreneur, Air Force spouse and the
woman behind Spousely, Monica Fullerton.
Now in this conversation we discuss a host of topics from her early life, the huge potential
for entrepreneurial ship not only with military and first responders spouses but also their
partners, the array of gifts and services you can find on Spousely and so much more.
Now before we get to this incredible conversation as I say every week please just take a moment,
go to whichever app you listen to this on, subscribe to the show, leave feedback and
leave a rating.
Every single five star rating truly does elevate this podcast therefore making it easier for
others to find and this is a free library of well over 900 episodes now.
So all I ask in return is that you help share these incredible men and women stories so
I can get them to every single person on planet earth who needs to hear them.
So with that being said I introduce to you, Monica Fullerton, enjoy.
Well Monica I want to start by saying thank you so much for taking the time and coming
on the Behind the Shield podcast today.
Thanks so much for having me James I'm excited to be here.
So where on planet earth are we finding you this morning?
Oh man I am over in Las Vegas so it's a great place to be there's a lot more to do in Vegas
than just the strip.
So educate us because I have never been to Vegas because a I'm not a huge fan of deserts
I lived in California for a while and b gambling does nothing for me so if people aren't into
those what are the things that are exciting about Vegas that draw the non gamblers to
your city?
Yes so we live about 30 minutes from the strip so for us it doesn't even look like we're
in Vegas we have a beautiful mountain view out of our window and we love going up to
the mountains there's beautiful red rocks so just you know getting outside really embracing
that the desert also has more to offer we kind of created our own little oasis in our
backyard so we've got you know a pool a putting green it doesn't I mean you would never even
know you're in Vegas but there's a lot of great shopping there's a ton of great restaurants
off the strip we actually try not to eat really on the strip ever just because you know it's
so busy and it's very touristy and we like to go to more of the mom and pops and the
fun trendy bars and stuff off of the strip so there's there's a lot more and honestly
we've got twins so having kids here I was completely like I cannot believe my kids are
going to be born in Vegas but so far it's been good family wise as well there's a lot
to do.
Have the kids got tattoos already?
Yes it says I love my mom.
Now there's actually a comparison though because I live just outside Orlando and worked there
for 10 years as a firefighter in that area and again I can't stand the resort area sometimes
I get dragged into them because my family wants to go to the parks but outside of those
same there's some beautiful not only areas of Orlando itself but also a lot of suburbs
of Orlando that are absolutely gorgeous and you wouldn't think you're anywhere near the
the rat house.
Yeah for sure I mean you want to you kind of get that out of your system when you first
move there and everybody starts to visit you and they're like oh can we go down and gamble
and everything so I would say the first year was good for that and then after that it turned
into more like okay what can we do not going near the strip.
Yeah absolutely.
All right well I'd love to start at the very beginning of your timeline so tell me where
you were born and tell me a little bit about your family dynamic what your parents did
how many siblings?
Yeah so born and raised in a small town in Ohio it's called Medina Ohio.
My dad is a doctor and my mom worked in a number of different corporate industries as
well as having her own businesses throughout the way and it was always just very inspiring
and interesting to see so I didn't grow up with my parents together so I was kind of
torn.
I always saw two different worlds I always saw you know my mom was a hard-working single
mom always doing everything that she could and same with my grandma to give me the best
life and my dad you know a doctor working around the clock he also owned a restaurant
surgery center so just also very you know business driven but in kind of his own world
in a sense so it really allowed me to kind of see the power of hard work at a really
young age.
I've always been around other entrepreneurs and just absolutely loved being brought up
in a small town and really having that Midwest small town upbringing but I also when I got
after graduating from high school I picked South Florida to go to school for a reason
and that was because I just wanted to see what else was out there in the world and I
had big dreams of becoming the next Oprah.
I absolutely loved the power of communication and how she brought people together so loved
the small town feel absolutely loved everything that it really just ingrained in me but I
also you know had big dreams and big goals and I wanted to see what the world had to
offer.
When you look back now as a mother at your upbringing what are your observations between
and I don't like hate that phrase kind of work-life balance it's so cliche but there
is a tug of war between actually simply earning enough money to put a roof over your kids
you know heads and clothe them and feed them but balancing that with being present and
a lot of the first responders and military members listening I'm sure you know we're
acutely aware of that but I've seen my my son's mother her mother worked and worked
and worked and so she ultimately was kind of raised by her grandmother and there's kind
of you know there's not a strong relationship between her and her mother and I've seen it
even you know in a different way with my wife now and her son and it wasn't so much that
she wasn't there but it was just a case of you know when you do when you bend over backwards
for your child where is that point where you start losing the relationship as they're growing
up?
Yeah you know I always talk about the hustle and the juggle because at the end of the day
you know a little little backstory for those listening because I didn't mention it but
basically what happened on my journey was I moved to South Florida with those big dreams
and went to school for broadcasting and communications and I ended up getting back together with
my high school sweetheart from the small town and he was actually commissioning into the
Air Force so that's kind of how everything played out where you know I ended up living
this military life and being a part of the ongoing just you know you don't really know
what's coming next but once we added kids into the mix which is so wild that the twins
were born here in Vegas I started to realize you know between what the military demands
of his time and what my life looked like working in corporate and then I started my own business
and you know raising twins without any family nearby it was the constant juggle of how am
I going to be able to handle it all and what I will say is you get to a place where you
know in your gut when you need to take some steps back and when you need to adjust different
things that are on your plate and it's a constant season of life just like the seasons that
we go through you know in the world basically so I feel like I have continued to get to
a place in the different seasons of life that I've gone through the different stages whether
it's with the twins or in my career that you just kind of hit that point of like okay I
need to come up for air a little bit and I need to see where I'm at where I want to go
and am I present in the moment and I actually just readjusted I really took some time towards
the end of last year to kind of really mentally adjust where I was at and how I was balancing
everything and I didn't love where I was at to be honest I was just you know buried and
living and breathing growing a business and juggling it all and my husband's crazy schedule
and you're essentially parenting on your own oftentimes just trying to meet the demand
of everything so I feel like you just get to a place where you know in your gut like
I need to make some changes and that's what I recently just did over the past few months
and honestly it's been incredible because I feel more present in where I'm at and where
I'm headed.
Our first responders work a lot more than most people realize and what I've come to
kind of talk about I guess more than anything else is shifting the mind from money to currency
and really ultimately as a parent your currency is time with your children time with your
family that's the ultimate gold standard and so if hours work and these are you know forced
hours a standard work week and then mandatory overtime if they're understaffed you look
at a paycheck you go well I'm providing for my family but that's not the most important
currency anymore because it's at the detriment of the time with your family and it's a really
hard mix to get people to firstly even identify because they're so tired but the biggest thing
is to then turn around and fight for to advocate for that time off because I mean if you look
at the corporate space a lot of the big companies are actually cutting their work weeks now
they're realizing that a 32-hour work week is just as productive and their employees
have three days off or as you know some military and first responder organizations it's the
complete opposite and you know sadly we do see some of the relationship breakdowns in
our professions.
Yeah it's really hard you know a number of our neighbors are retired firefighters and
law enforcement and military and when we get together it's always such an interesting conversation
of just kind of hearing what it was like you know when they were serving or when when they
were you know in the industry and everything and where it's at now and there are you know
I like to think that we're taking steps in the right direction to get more of the family
focus piece but you know sadly at the end of the day the divorce rate is still high
in the military the military spouse unemployment rate has been at 24 percent for nearly a decade
and it's because you know most spouses are trying to piece the puzzle together while
being present for their family holding down the fort pursuing their own career and there's
just a lot of moving pieces all the time but like you said it really boils down to there's
only so much time in a day it's up to us what we do to break it down and how we prioritize
that currency that matters most to us.
Well going back to your early life then how much of an impact did the entrepreneurial
element of your mother's career impact you as you got older?
Yeah so it's always been like I said kind of that split upbringing I will say I definitely
got the work ethic from my family everybody is very hard workers especially you know my
dad just kind of explaining where he's at he's still not retired and you know gonna
work till the day he dies but what really happened with it is he was never present and
that was something I always will live with you know even when I see him I try to explain
like just come to my graduation or you know be there for the little moments and those
were things that he missed out on and he was there you know he lived five minutes away
from us so he could be present but you just kind of you know when you're growing up that's
all you really know so I think for us it's been super important to make time where we're
all together we just started family game nights on Thursdays and those are things that you
know the twins will always remember and even though our schedules are constantly changing
and it doesn't always fit in you know the right way we still need to make time for it
to work so I feel like growing up in an entrepreneur family taught me a lot of things especially
from a work ethic standpoint but then it also taught me a lot of things that I didn't want
to happen with my own children and that becomes where you put work first and when work becomes
number one and your family becomes number two that's where you end up trying to really
you know backtrack and make up for those that lost time so trying to balance it.
I think I had a very similar experience with my dad and I had him on the show I mean he
is a veterinary surgeon and he was in the house he was you know my parents got divorced
when I was 18 so my upbringing he was there yeah I mean I won for example national championships
in martial arts and he never saw a single fight and when I look back now with this kind
of you know different lens that I have and kind of psychoanalyze it it's very hard for
a child to come to terms with why they weren't important enough and more important than their
parents job you know so when you have for example the adopted child well what was not
good enough for my real parents you know why wouldn't the one parent left why wasn't I
good enough for them and it's a very crushing thing for some kids but I think conversely
that you know the the latchkey kids you know the kids that never saw their parents who
they lived with there's got to be a kind of psychological element to that too.
Yeah absolutely and you know with my dad wanting to become a doctor I want to think it's kind
of a cultural thing because he's from India he came you know to America to become a doctor
and he's the oldest in his family and you know he had instilled in his brain that he
has to take care of everybody so you know anytime you ask him and he's he's like it's
not work if you love what you do and I want to be able to help people and everything like
that but it almost kind of plays a toll on you in a way because you're like well what
about the ones that are right you know your family that you care about most it's so much
more than just a monetary standpoint it's just being there for the little moments and
I think as parents now that is something that my husband and I said you know that we would
really raise the twins to appreciate everything to be grateful for all of the little moments
be grateful for all the little things that they get and that we get to do as a family
because you know oftentimes you just never know what someone else's situation is and
we're working really hard as a unit to come together and to work around our schedules
to make sure that they always feel that love through different things and it's not just
through things it's through you know activities together it's through just hanging out in
the backyard together swimming whatever it is because those are the moments that we all
remember most it's not about oh yeah you know my parent just bought me this new pair of
shoes or I've got the best clothes in the class or whatever those are just things and
when you take away things that's when you know the true impact comes for shaping who
we want them to be as humans.
Yeah well I think another interesting perspective is to be able to look back and see those things
not create you know a victim mentality but just see them and acknowledge them I always
say you know reason is not excuses that was a reason for me feeling a certain way as I
grew up but you know there's also a lot of shame cast on broken homes so the problem
with society today is well there are back stories to all of these homes the only thing
that we have in our control is what we do with our home everyone listening whether you're
a single parent whether you know your grandparents raising your grandchildren because your children
are off doing whatever they're doing that's how we can undo the damage and I tried you
know it's hard being on shift as a firefighter but I tried to be there as much as I could
for my son and even like you said the little things just sitting down and playing with
Lego or you know whatever it was you know the the Pokemon cards I never knew how to
play that damn game we just made it up as we went along you know and then now he's 16
and he talks about you know you were there you were there you were there and I think
that's that's the thing is no matter what our upbringing was like we have the opportunity
to stop that next domino from falling yeah we've got to be stronger than our excuses
my husband always says that he's like I don't want to hear you tell he teaches the twins
that too like don't tell me your excuses just tell me what you're going to do to fix it
or what you're going to do to make a change and I always love that about him and the way
that you know he was raised because he was raised much different we grew up in the same
town together we were pretty much middle school sweethearts and he came from more of a family
where he always had to work for everything he wanted where I was you know a bit spoiled
I was an only child and I just kind of went with the flow of everything where you know
he was a hard worker from day one and that was something that I absolutely loved is because
he always kept me grounded as I grew up and obviously was navigating my own journey and
that was something that I see now as parents is just constantly keeping them grounded especially
with growing up in Vegas just because I feel like they're missing out on so many childhood
things that like how we grew up you know in the Midwest of just being able to you know
go outside on our own and play in at the park and things like that and that's just not how
it is living in Vegas so I am looking forward to we are going to be moving to Florida which
will be you know a nice opportunity for them to soak in all of those new memories and the
beach life and just kind of getting out there a bit more.
I've talked about this a few times where I live they built four subdivisions around a
big communal area so there's a lake there's a football pitch like a soccer pitch tennis
courts basketball court the clubhouse with the pool and it literally is what everyone
romanticizes about the kids go and they'll play all day and it's safe because it's well
lit and you know massive paths off from the roads and then you know when they're old enough
to be able to do this they come home when the street lights go on you know and it's
something that we can put back but we've just got so far away and everything now you have
to drive from A to B and I think you would just make such an impact not only on the upbringing
of children but also on you know the obesity epidemic you know if you went back to a lot
more of those kind of pedestrian focused communities where it was safe for children to be out in
the park play get rid of all their energy and then come home.
Yeah I actually just was reading something interesting the other day that talked about
children that are raised more with like nature involved like out in nature doing activities
and stuff as they grow up are less likely like they they don't have as many you know
mental health issues and things like that just because they were able to kind of see
just the beauty and everything that comes from the simple things where obviously now
a days that's a huge challenge because you know we've got we've got the internet and
we've got gaming and all those things where like our children's minds live in like this
whole nother like world essentially so that's something as parents that we've been really
cautious about you know with thank goodness the twins aren't really into gaming and going
down that path like just wanting to constantly do things as a family because you want to
keep them around and you want to create an environment that they want to be in and that
they want to grow up in as well.
Absolutely well speaking of playing when you were in the school age what were you playing
as far as sports?
Oh man so I was never I was kind of a hopper I like to think about like I've done everything
I've played soccer softball dance all different things but because I was an only child and
because my family was always busy I felt like I didn't really have like the push and no
you need to get past the point of it's hard and continue to stick with it and you know
do it do it to the end kind of thing so I like to think I was a hopper I did you know
all different instruments to different things but I never really stuck to one thing and
that was something that I wish that I had a little bit more direction in of like no
you should really keep playing soccer or no you should really keep doing this because
you know if we don't push our kids to keep trying when things get hard then you know
they just they become a hopper like I did which there's nothing wrong with it and I
honestly think that that's shaped who I am today which I absolutely am so well rounded
when it comes to like just enjoying a little bit of everything which is also not a bad
quality to have.
Yeah yeah actually I'm the same absolutely the same I'm a martial artist is anything
I ever did to a somewhat higher level but I told my son like I can I can do a huge amount
of things and I'm not great at any of them and I'm totally fine with that I can jump
on a wakeboard or a snowboard or you know a windsurf all the things but am I going to
win any competitions no so I think there's a point you know there's a place for you to
just go you know all in on one thing but there's nothing wrong with also just immersing yourself
in all the things.
Right I agree.
So you talked about Oprah so what was the burning desire as far as that path and was
it journalism was it simply being kind of like a chat show host what was actually the
nucleus of your kind of passion at that point?
Yeah so I would always come home from school and I would watch her talk show at the time
and I just remember watching it at a young age and being so inspired by how one person
had the power of bringing so many people together of all different walks of life all different
you know different passions and industries and different stories and everybody just was
laughing and or crying or sharing stories and it was just so inspiring to me that she
had the power to do that and that's why I wanted to go into broadcasting and communications
it wasn't necessarily you know for the the journalism piece of it it was more so like
how can I use my voice to help bring people together because I am so outgoing and I'm
an extrovert and I just have this natural superpower of instantly meeting someone and
feeling like we've known each other forever which I feel like you know not everybody kind
of has that superpower or wants that superpower there's a ton of introverts that are like
no thank you I am good I am good on the conversation but I don't know I just I really love the
power of communication because I feel like if you can master communications you can do
so much in life which actually has been the groundwork of everything that I've done whether
it was in my corporate career or starting my own business or you know with the kids
or my my relationship or no matter what it has been it's been communications as my groundwork.
With that perspective what are your thoughts when it comes to the information that is being
disseminated in the world I'll give you my perspective when I look at for example Fox
CNN I find it very divisive very lack of communication all opinion based when I look at a lot of
messages that have come out of for example DC the last eight years very divisive no real
communication just talking about what the other guy did versus how we the nation can
come together and improve what is your lens on the message that is out there not only
just for the young people for my generation as well.
Yeah I honestly think it is pretty sad just because it has been so divided and it's it
really is an issue of what's being put out there and how the different networks are really
like picking and choosing different topics and how they pull them apart which is why
I think so many individuals who do have a passion for communication or just a passion
for understanding things and knowledge are starting to just create their own YouTube
channels and they're sharing their own opinions and they're they're doing different things
but I really think at the end of the day it boils down to the facts and to the data and
to what is actually available for us to have a better understanding of a specific you know
use case whether it's something going on in the world or something that's coming about
or whatever it might be the history of it we need to look at all the facts we need to
pull all the data together and we need to remember that it is okay that everybody has
different opinions but I think what happens is if an influencer or a broadcasting and
communications person is pushing their own opinion on everybody that that's that's the
right way and that's it that's where we're wrong and that's where we're failing you know
in a community standpoint we need to all be able to come together and say this is what
I believe and this is why and here are the facts this is what I believe and here are
the facts kind of thing and then meet in the middle of okay what can we do to improve so
I feel like I am actually I feel like everything happens for a reason and I am pretty glad
that I never did pursue a career in broadcasting and being on TV and being a host or whatever
it might be because I just think it's it's an industry now that it's not where I want
to be and I honestly have been able to connect with more people through the power of communication
through entrepreneurship I've been able to build a community of like-minded individuals
to come together to share our stories to inspire one another and that is where I feel like
my true superpower has come to play versus feeling like I have to report on something
that maybe I it's not my opinion or not something I believe in but because this network wants
it to be presented in this light then I have to talk about it and then that initially puts
me and my reputation at risk because it's not something that I would normally want to
be talking about.
Yeah well that's what I found with this I mean I asked me eight years ago if I was going
to start a podcast I'd be like what's the podcast and I guess I knew by that point but
ten years ago I would have said what's the podcast but what I've realized now is there's
so much job justification and unneeded red tape because I mean I'll give you a perfect
example Sebastian Junger phenomenal phenomenal author I emailed him this morning he's got
a book coming out in May and hey Sebastian do you want to come back on the show hey James
I'd love to I've cc'd my person and then we've already got a date down it's that simple and
then I talked to a man who's a true expert in his field this written book sort of you
know been so powerful tribe for example for our military members and our first responders
a man who was embedded in one of the the highest up-tempo areas of the Afghan war so this man
understands that there's no you know no tricks or middleman yeah that's straight from the
source exactly simple questions you know hey you know what did you see what did you do
you know what and that was it and then and then you add of us obviously if you want to
get a perspective of a thing then you listen to other people maybe maybe slightly opposing
views and then you get a really good understanding but if everything has been the Fox you know
the narrative or the CNN narrative you're always gonna get this skewed perspective and
again there's so many people in between it's like what I always say you have a murder on
the street in America and they're interviewing people that walk past an hour later what do
you think you weren't even there why are we asking you absolutely it's just the lens is
just getting narrower and narrower and at the end of the day that's just where the real
problem is is that you know the the younger generations think that that's like the full
picture than when they see something and I think it's it's we need to keep doing our
due diligence on where we're at where we were how we can get to a better place absolutely
well on that career path then how far did you pursue that and then what did you find
yourself in next yeah so I did my bachelor's degree was in the multimedia journalism and
journalism and communications I had such great opportunities in Boca Raton Florida I was
actually working with Jill Zarin from Real Housewives of New York doing some of her communications
for her brand like just a lot of connections and ins and everything to really you know
jump start my career into broadcasting but I after my bachelor's I started doing my masters
right away which was in business and then that's when I think my mental shift started
to kind of change just because I was seeing with the broadcasting side how much work actually
has to go into it for how little pay you get like you have to be you know a one-man show
basically you're putting together the whole story you're reporting on it you're going
to that location and once I started realizing kind of like what they make and stuff and
seeing what other opportunities were out there I was like this seems a little crazy to me
this is a little off you know so I never actually got to really fully go into pursuing a broadcasting
career I really leveraged more of the the business degree and entrepreneurship so when
I left college after finishing my masters that's when we got stationed at our first duty stage
station which was in San Antonio Texas and I was so lost I just remember thinking like
what job am I going to go apply for because there's no way I can apply for a broadcasting
career and living the military life knowing that we could be moving every year or every
two to three years so that was kind of crossed off my list and then I ended up just going
into you know many different interviews ended up in logistics which I had no idea what logistics
even was I remember sitting in the interview thinking please tell me what logistics is
because I have no idea and ended up staying in that industry for almost a decade I just
got really good at it I learned so much from it it was actually really cool because just
like communications logistics is the foundational work for any business essentially at the end
of the day and if you understand the operations and the logistics of a business and everything
that they do to get from point A to point B there's so much more that's a stepping
stone then then I would have gotten in broadcasting so one thing just continued to lead to another
and that's kind of what led me to creating my company spousely which I had not had no
idea what how to build a multi-vendor marketplace but I knew it needed to all stem from my passion
of communications and bringing people together.
When you're talking about San Antonio and wondering how you're going to work it's funny
my in-laws are in San Antonio I'm literally about to go there in two weeks time very very
heavily populated military city very proud but again also a lot of military spouses looking
for work I'm sure but it makes me think about the pandemic and one of the most detrimental
things about the way it was handled it was a real virus you know and also it depended
on the health of the individual how they you know was the outcome that was the truth in
the middle of that whole thing however the way it was handled with the stay in your house
and we'll tell you when you can come out was the lack the excuse me the loss of autonomy
was extremely detrimental to a lot of people's mental health now when you're describing a
husband or a wife of a military member who is know they're going to be here for 12 months
but they really don't know what's coming next I would assume there was almost a kind of
not a loss but a fractured autonomy where you don't really have the capacity to sew
your you know put your roots down properly and so there must be almost like an anxiety
of never feeling completely settled yeah you know that is 100% true for a lot of military
families especially because of just the ongoing lifestyle of not knowing what's coming next
it can be really really hard from a mental health standpoint because one it's like okay
do I go out and I try to meet some friends and then I meet friends and then I leave and
then it's like now you've got to start all over again every single time and what job
am I going to be able to get that's going to move around with us so for me my my story
is pretty unique in the military space of I was super lucky when I went into that logistics
interview I this is something that most military spouses struggle with is do you tell them
you're a military spouse when you're looking for a career because if you tell them you're
a military spouse are they going to hire you knowing that you are going to have to move
around all of the time and at the time remote work really wasn't like a big thing so for
me I was super lucky I was very close with the owner of the company and you know he was
very supportive of the military and the military lifestyle and he goes I will never forget
what he said to me he goes Monica you are never leaving this company I'm going to keep
you as long as possible I absolutely love your work ethic and everything that you bring
to the table we will do whatever it takes to keep you on board and he held true to his
word when we found out we were moving from San Antonio I became one of their only remote
workers and I continued to prove that remote work was possible as I continued to move up
in my position I did start traveling quite a bit because this was all prior to COVID
but it really proved and it showed that you can be successful and have a great career
and work remote it just sadly took the pandemic for more companies to open their doors to
remote work so I would say the pandemic definitely was awful for everything that it brought on
especially from a mental health standpoint but it also opened a lot of new doors especially
for the military spouse community because now military spouses are able to land certain
careers and work remote and leverage their education and their degree that they might
have and not really feel like they have to settle and that's something that I've been
a huge advocate for and continuing to use my story and everything that I've done to
show like you can make a six-figure salary and work remote you can be have a leadership
role and be a military spouse and I think oftentimes military spouses you know sadly
we put ourselves in a box because it's very hard to piece the puzzle together and I am
all about how can we knock down that box and continue to flourish with what we have.
I couldn't agree more I was talking to my sister who is an editor she works with the
BBC and you know all kinds of basically the kind of I don't know how you describe it Blue
Chip or whatever the term is wildlife documentaries that you watch you know with David Amber narrating
a lot of those she's worked on so I mean she's phenomenal but before she was kind of juggling
with the housing and she was having a gonna have a baby and I remember saying the same
thing about remote work and it was like I don't think they'll do it and then the pandemic
happened and now she does a lot of her editing from home you know and so yeah it's incredible
for that and also when you think about just the congestion and the pollution you know
absolutely how many people you know would drive an hour hour and a half two hours especially
in the London on trains to go sit at a desk and do the very same thing you could do from
a computer at home what I'm curious about is I still see the same amount of traffic
has that kind of remote work survived or is it starting to be dragged back into the office
again I would say it's mixed I think it just obviously depends on the industry I think
most tech companies and you know different companies that can have all of their employees
remote or at least hybrid are doing it and they're sticking to it because I think they
also saw how much money as a company they could be saving from just the overhead of
of having employees coming in and to be honest I feel like employees are more efficient efficient
because now they're not talking at the the coffee machine for you know a couple minutes
and they're you're they're focused on their work and they're getting it done which is
allowing companies to cut their work week because they're going hard for the three or
four days and now they're rewarding them with Friday off or something like that but I will
say you know with Vegas the same amount of traffic is happening still just because of
it's an industry based city so a lot of people are working on the strip and they have to
physically be there in the casinos so I think it probably just depends on the different
areas where we're moving to in Florida I saw that a majority of people outside of you know
those that are commuting do work remote which I thought was really interesting because it's
a very remote part of Florida and I was wondering what that would look like and most people
are working remote so I think it just depends on where you're at what the industry is but
I would love to see more companies sticking to the remote work option and the hybrid option
because you know not everybody loves remote work for me I'm obsessed with remote work
I have my schedule down like I live and breathe in my office which I need to find a better
balance of that too speaking of balance earlier on but it is possible and I think that it
can continue to help those that need remote work to be an option.
Well you hit on the short of work week this is something I talk about a lot with the fire
service especially is there are people that have said oh the fire service is like a business
and I vehemently disagree however okay I'll play for a minute if it's a business then
why are we modeling the Indonesian sweatshop versus Google or Virgin or some of these progressive
corporations that have gone wow four days a week they're getting the same done actually
they're being more innovative and efficient they're actually getting a little bit more
done because they're looking forward to their three-day weekend meanwhile our firefighters
are working 56 80 hours a week so you're not a business because if you were a business
you would have failed by now no one want to work for you so even through that lens the
fire service has got to understand that that you know it's a false economy working that
way that every progressive business has figured out if you invest in your people your productivity
goes up not down.
Yes absolutely I am a big believer of that everything should be at the center of making
sure you understand your people what they're looking for and how you can better support
them which is why I still think the military is has continued to drop the ball on the family
aspect which is why there are so many high rates of divorce and unemployment and even
those going into the military some people don't even the new generations don't even
want to do it because they know that that compromises either their family life or their
pay or whatever it might be in their time so I think we need to work towards and I always
say this like when one person serves the entire family serves too and that is something that
is so important and there's so much work that still needs to be done there's a lot of work
that is in place and advocating and showing how important that when your people are happy
they perform better but at the end of the day I don't think it's enough I think we
need to be doing more I think we can be doing a lot of things better and I don't know what
it's like on the first responder side but that's why with Spousely you know I opened
it up to first responders and their families as well and not just military is because we
go through very similar struggles and our days look very similar and every day that
you know our hero leaves we don't know if they're coming home like it's just the same
same kind of mentality and I hope that more corporations and companies and supporters
start to realize that it all stems at the people level.
People sometimes comment that you know it's these gen Z's that's why we're having problems
recruiting and looking at it as in oh they're lazy they're tired or whatever which is obviously
every generation has that kind of person but that's not the majority but I've had guests
on the show and some of from the military side of our children literally grew up knowing
war and so when we had generations where you know if you had a father or mother that was
in the military there was a high chance that you were going to follow in their path and
now when they've seen with 2024 eyes what that actually means you know and all the health
and mental health issues that come along with actually being at war you've got a generation
of children like hell no I don't want to do that I barely ever saw my dad yeah and it's
the same in the fire service so this is the thing is if we want to retain or encourage
people to come work for the military the first responder professions we've got to fix the
things that are broken because it's not that these these kids are weaker I mean of course
we have a growing obesity crisis which factors into that but it's more that they have access
to all this information now so they are actually be able to make a very informed decision and
go that looks a bit shit I don't want to do that you know so if we fix it then it will
put it back to where a child is excited to join the military or first responders if we
don't fix it then ultimately we could not have a military or first responder service
anymore yeah I agree 100% and it all stems exactly like you said what they're seeing
in their household and what they're growing up around which is why for me I never wanted
to be a doctor because I watched my dad you know work around the clock and never always
prioritize other people first which there's nothing wrong with that I'm very grateful
that you know his heart is in it and that's what he wants to do but also as a child of
a doctor like I didn't want to become a doctor because I didn't want my life to look like
that I wanted to have a better balance so I think you know we have to we have to do
better we have to find ways to always find that balance and I'm a big believer in people
power and you know what we're able to do when we come together and actually truly understand
what we need as just people I want to get the spousy but one thing very quickly I worked
on shift as a firefighter for 14 years and then through the universe kicking me up the
ass told me to go and start a podcast instead you know disaster of circumstances I never
anticipated leaving the fire service but and then so now I find myself like you this is
my home office and this is where I work a lot of the time when I left the fire service
even though yes there may have been things that I brought with me in my mind of the things
that we saw my job was over like I didn't have to really think about it until I was
obviously cleaning gear when I got home and then prepping gear for you know the following
shift but when you're an entrepreneur when you've got something like especially if you're
passionate about it's kind of the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last
thing when you go to bed how do you set boundaries in your own home so it doesn't bleed into
your home life.
Yeah I would be lying if I said that I have cracked the code and I have a perfect plan
in place because it's just a constant you know battle of shifting gears and making the
changes that are needed and pivoting I sleep with my laptop most nights I work around the
clock you know it's just it's not ideal but at the end of the day when your heart and
soul is into building something especially something that is helping so many other people
and tackling all of the pain points that we see as a community and really helping other
entrepreneurs grow it's it's hard but I told myself with 2024 my goal was going to be to
take some steps back to to put some new things in place so that way I could come up for air
I could actually see all of the great work that I have done over the past few years and
how it really is making a greater impact so for me what that looked like was I basically
moved out of the daily operation of my company I moved my team into more hours we have a
ton of automation in place so really I didn't need to be living and breathing it I just
was because I was so attached and I felt the need that I had to be living and breathing
it and so then I also joined some other founders as a VP of another company which mentally
has allowed me to continue building and growing versus feeling like I was just constantly
pouring from an empty cup so now that I've put even though I've added you know more to
my plate I've also essentially taken things off of my plate and I'm at a place where I
feel more balanced than ever and it's funny because people are like wait a second so you're
telling me you're an entrepreneur you went and added another full-time job onto your
plate and you're a mom and your military spouse and I'm like yes because if I look back to
how I was able to grow my company to where it's at today one I was still working my corporate
career when I launched it and I mentally had another outlet when I went all in on my company
and I was head down just like treading for water every day of building growing knowing
that you know I don't have a paycheck coming in you get to a mental place where you're
just like you're exhausting yourself you're like you're basically running a car with no
gas and so now that I actually have gas back in my car and I'm able to keep you know driving
the ship and I've got my windows down like the breeze is blowing again and it feels good
like I feel more balanced I feel alive I am present with my family I am you know there
for them my husband said over the past few years that I was physically there but I wasn't
mentally there and he was 100% right because I was letting it consume me so now that my
brain is kind of separated again into different compartments and not just one compartment
like I feel I feel good I feel like I've got a better balance.
Brilliant.
I'm glad I asked that.
Alright well then moving to Spousley then tell me about how the idea came to you and
let's kind of expand on what it looks like.
Yeah so Spousley truly stemmed out of my own pure inspiration and frustration as a military
spouse like I said my personal story is very unique to the community but most military
spouses like I said are facing an unemployment rate of 24% for nearly a decade and that's
because it's really hard to be able to do what you love while living a life on the go
so military spouses feel like they take the backseat oftentimes when it comes to our own
career but what I did see was how much talent was within our community how many of these
spouses have gone into entrepreneurship and have created companies that can move around
with them to really fill that gap but what I noticed was there was not one central location
for people to go and shop and support you know military and first responder owned businesses
so Spousley is basically you know like Etsy meets Angie's List but with a focus on shopping
for social good and supporting our nation's heroes so all of our vendors are approved
military and first responder families and anybody can come and shop and support.
So what is the spectrum of product services that are offered on Spousley?
Yeah so on the product side you can find a little bit of everything from cookies to custom
gifts to woodworking to coffee and you know the list goes on and then on the service side
you can find everything from realtors CPAs lawyers marketing companies I mean you can
really find a little bit of everything so our goal is to create that true one-stop shop
for people to help you know support those that support us.
And how is traction being so far?
Really good so I've been bootstrapping since launch so I've been self-funding everything
and so obviously with self-funding comes a slower growth because you're growing organically
and through word of mouth but everything we've done has been through word of mouth so we
have over 600 vendors now and we're adding more on a weekly basis and that has all all
been word of mouth no front-facing marketing and then we've got you know hundreds of thousands
of users we've we're nationwide people are starting to recognize Spousley as the go-to
for supporting this community so we've got a lot of great things going we've been recognized
on the Forbes Next 1000 list I made the Inc. female founder to under list like we've been
on national news and just you know doing what we can to spread the word with what we have
and why we've been able to grow so quickly is truly the power of our community.
I think we talked about this on the phone you know a few weeks ago but I and again I'm
an incurable optimist very angry optimist but incurable nonetheless but I truly believe
there were the beginning of a paradigm shift where I think people are sick and tired of
chain restaurants and chain stores and you know you think about the eighties nineties
when shopping malls were at their height you know people would basically go in there just
to consume to sift through racks of clothes or you know CDs or whatever it was but there
wasn't really a social interaction there wasn't a bespoke artisan you know craftsman element
to it and I'm watching and I've said this for a few years now and I'm watching our local
mall here in Ocala just disintegrate all these massive like going like I don't even think
malls are a thing anymore no and they could be but I think the way that you breathe life
into it first you take the damn roof off and that's some blooming daylight and again that's
the most depressing thing to me we're in Florida and it's dark in there but um yeah but then
you know the the breweries and the cafes and the butcher shops and the you know barbershops
and all these places where people talk to people and they consume things that the owner
is actually passionate about I think that's the future but now you have this online platform
because there's times where you don't need to just go to a shop they're just in and that's
what Amazon is good about I mean it's a monster but it has got that down um so knowing that
you can go to an online store that you support in you know the first responder of military
professions that if they're making it themselves you also know it's American made I think that's
part of this new kind of movement this this renaissance that I'm hoping is going to sweep
through America I agree I really hope so as well I feel like you know just really as Americans
I mean we're constantly all working I mean that's one thing about America Ray is like
we're just always craving more and we want to keep growing and building and doing all
the things that I feel like we should put our hard-earned dollars towards supporting
one another because when we support one another especially through our businesses we're really
fueling the economy that we want to build and the communities are really the backbone
of everything that we do and you mentioned one thing about the breweries which I think
is super interesting because a lot of breweries now are bringing in vendors like that are
small businesses to sell on certain days because they know that those vendors are going to
get some great sales because now it's around the conversation it's meeting it's meeting
the the business owner it's having a nice drink together like it's really about all
what we've talked about people supporting people and I hope that as we do continue to
grow and build and I know we're up against you know the monsters of marketplaces out
there but what you will find when you do come to Spousely is just this instant love and
passion for community and our vendors are supporting vendors our customers are spreading
the word companies corporate companies are coming to us for corporate gifting and big
bulk orders which is nice and awesome because they're putting their money where their mouth
is and you know just finding ways to we I get it and not everybody's gonna be able to
find everything they need from supporting a small business but my biggest fan is even
if you set aside 20 bucks 50 bucks 100 bucks a month whatever your budget might look like
to go towards supporting a small business there's so much impact that that can have
alone well I love that term vote with your dollar I mean that's why for example you go
into Publix here in Florida and there's not even a health food section anymore it's so
popular now that it's really yeah it's through the store so you want healthy biscuits go
to the biscuits aisle you want healthy you know whatever and so you've got you know the
organic and the you know grass fed and all those are right next to everything else so
that is supply and demand so we can you know push the needle and I think one of the things
that really really struck me Jocko what excuse me Jocko willing was on Joe Rogan a few years
ago and they were talking about making origin jeans and they found like one of the only
men left who even knew how to work the loom that they needed to use to make the denim
to make the jeans and so this is another part of the conversation is there's all of these
trades and these skills that if we skip one more generation are going to be completely
lost and we're not going to you know so I think that this kind of resurgence is so important
even just for our own economy itself yeah absolutely and I think really mentally getting
past the fact that yes you are going to be paying a bit more when you shop small and
I think that's part of the problem is you know the Amazons and companies like that have
got the consumer so trained that we're always looking for the best deal and something cheap
and we don't want to pay for shipping and blah blah blah that I think really shifting
the focus towards even if it's just gift giving that people shop small that can still support
an entire small own business community right like if people there's birthdays all the time
there's gifts there's corporate gifts like even if it's just the gifting around paying
more for a quality product that you know you're going to be supporting you know another family
like do it to make that change in your in your shopping one more area before you kind
of go to some closing questions in the fire service specifically I love it when I see
entrepreneurship and the reason why is firstly on the days off you've got something completely
different to focus on you're not going to be awake all night like you would be in the
station so you're still going to get a good night's sleep but I think it's also very
healthy because if you get hurt if you get fired if you just decide to retire early
or retire when you hit retirement that transition is so important to go from one sense of purpose
to another and if you've created a business on the side to me that's a beautiful way
to to make a healthy transition what is your perspective on entrepreneurship and the transition
from the military absolutely we actually have a number of vendors that have started their
businesses while they are still in service and the reason that they've done that is for
that exact reason they want that transition to be much easier they want to feel like they
have a sense of purpose and that once they leave that they're not just completely lost
and sadly that's sometimes you know what happens which is why there's so many organizations
and different job boards and things like that trying to help really focus on that transition
piece so I think entrepreneurship is such a great route and actually there's I've I recently
have been learning from our vendors that are active duty that there is different things
in place now with each branch that it's not like they're closing off doors to anybody
that does want to be an entrepreneur they're just asking that you know they report that
they do have a business so that way there's no conflict of interest or things like that
but at least it's being encouraged and talked about more because I think at the end of the
day it's a creative outlet and that's what I always stress is that you can be really
great at your job and you can serve and you can go through all of this this you know protection
and things that you do for our country but everybody needs a creative outlet no matter
what and from a mental standpoint I think entrepreneurship is such a great way for those
to pursue something they love and to get that joy from giving it to somebody else too.
I think I've heard this from the military and definitely seen it in my you know men
and women in the fire service too a lot of people come away from those professions and
they're like well you know all I was an artillery man so all I have is you know firing guns
and throwing grenades that's all I'm good at or I was a firefighter so I really know
is how to advance a hose or throw a ladder and it's complete rubbish the team you know
the teamwork the working under pressure the problem solving all the other skills we you
know we're a very unique kind of human being and that can be applied in so many ways and
to me a healthy transition if you weave in some sort of service so I love the social
business model for every 10 pairs of shoes I sell another you know one pair of shoes
goes to person X so I think this is another thing about you know the the entrepreneur
space is is empowering us and and exciting the service members or the first responder
professions to challenge themselves and take some of those skills that they've done in
uniform and take a leap of faith and try it in a completely different venture.
I agree 100% I feel like you know military families have some of and that's just obviously
the side that I know in and out is we've got the grit we've got the strength and we're
always problem solving and those are some of the key components of if you can master
that then you've got a very nice foundation for entrepreneurship just because oftentimes
those are some of the hardest things to overcome and we overcome them every single day and
we know what that's like same with the first responder community too so I agree I wish
that more people would kind of dig deeper like you said it's beyond just oh I only know
how to do this or I've been in logistics because trust me if I stayed in that same mindset
even with my career of logistics like I would have never gotten to where I'm at today but
I applied all of the core foundational business skills that I learned into a completely different
market that one I knew nothing about but I knew what impact it was going to have and
I was up for the challenge.
Absolutely well for people listening then how can they shop on Spousely and how can
they become a vendor on Spousely?
Yeah so it's super easy to shop on Spousely just go to Spousely.com you can type it in
with the dash or without the dash google Spousely it'll show up for you and really
encourage everyone to help us continue to spread the word whether you are military or
first responder connected or you're just a supporter everybody is welcome and we would
love every opportunity we get to shout about our community from the rooftops and then if
you're interested in becoming a vendor it's super easy like I said we have both product
vendors and service vendors you just go on to our website click become a vendor button
you'll go through some questions and then you'll go through a verification process with
our partner GovX and once you're approved we're with you every step of the way to get
the shop set up and you really the greatest win is not to join a marketplace to think
that you're going to make you know thousands of millions of dollars it's really not about
that it's about the community that you're going to get by your side that's going to
support you on the journey.
Absolutely all right well I would love to get to some closing questions before I let
you go if that's okay.
Sure.
The first one I'd love to ask is there a book or are there books that you love to recommend
it can be related to our discussion today or completely unrelated.
So there's one book that I absolutely love and it's because she's just a powerhouse
entrepreneur herself and it's called Jump by Kim Perel and it was it's really all about
taking that jump into starting something because oftentimes that's our you know biggest biggest
wall blocker I like to call it is that you know we're not willing to take the jump into
what we need to to get to where we want to go.
So I'm much more of a just kind of like podcast listener reader of articles and things that
I come across not so much on the book side which is why I really loved her book.
Brilliant.
What about films or documentaries.
Oh let's see there's a number of them I absolutely love I thought the intern was really a fun
business type movie I loved watching the documentary recently about Uber.
I thought that was very interesting.
I forget what it was called super something I forget.
Let's see what else have I watched that was inspiring.
I don't know man there's lots of things.
Oh I thought you know this is kind of funny this people probably will be laughing listening
to this but Parent Trap has always been an inspirational movie to me only because I really
thought it was it really is like our life my life personally just of how you know the
husband went off and had created this winery dream of his and then the wife went off and
built this fashion business and they were living completely separate lives and then
they end up coming back together and obviously they have twins but I think there's so many
business nuggets in that of the balance of family pursuing your career and your goals
and finding ways to make it work because they were completely across you know they were
living one in the United States and then one overseas so I think it just speaks volumes
from a fun movie standpoint.
Brilliant all right well then the next question is there a person that you'd recommend to
come on this podcast as a guest to speak to the first responders military and associated
professions of the world?
Yes I will say I think you've got to definitely have my friend Haley the founder of Torch
Warriors on your podcast she just recently also aired on Shark Tank she's a vendor on
Spousley she's a veteran she's all about inspiration building a brand from the ground up but also
really focused on you know female warriors and everything that you know women go through
on the journey I think she'd be a huge inspiration.
Brilliant let's make it happen then thank you.
Okay cool.
All right but then the last question before we make sure everyone knows where to find
you what do you do to decompress?
What do I do to decompress?
Oh wow that's a great question um for me I do a little bit of shopping therapy I have
Sundays dedicated to myself where I literally will just like walk around a store and just
like look at things it's not even that I need to buy a bunch of things so really just like
mentally one removing myself from my house from my office because I'm here every day
and just getting out there I always like to like buy myself lunch so just kind of like
a day to myself I think self-care is very important and that's something that I personally
push off a little too much so Sundays have always kind of been my Monica day.
Do you do that on your own?
Oh yeah nobody can come with me and my husband knows don't call me and don't ask me any
thing and if one of the twins asks to come they're not allowed to come just because it's
just one of those days I don't even need to pamper myself it's something so simple of
just being in my car listening to music calling a family member going from store to store
and it's not about the money piece of what I'm spending or what I'm going to find it's
more about like I'm just flying by the seat of my pants.
I like to do that once in a while not the shopping so much but you know go get get food
or coffee or whatever on the way and I saw I saw a meme on the internet once and they
said that when you take yourself out for a date it's called master dating.
I thought that was hilarious.
I know it's funny because I never used to like ever think I would go sit at a restaurant
even by myself but when I started traveling for work all the time obviously you find yourself
on the go by yourself in the airport and at restaurants and it was honestly the most eye
opening experience for me because I was like this is so this is so nice it's like literally
a date with yourself.
Now when I had a guy on the show who wrote the book The Introvert's Edge and it was really
interesting because I don't think this is his definition originally I think it comes
from someone in the psychology in the past but the definition of an introvert is that
you can be around people but you draw power from time on your own or time intimate time
with your partner or your family and so I was like oh okay well that explains it because
you know I don't mind being around people but there's a certain time where I just disappear
in a party and I'm gone you know so I was like oh I'm actually an introvert then with
that definition do you draw power from groups or do you think you're a closet introvert
like me?
Well I would normally always say I am like hardcore extremist of an extrovert like yes
I usually draw so much power from groups but I will say over the past few years of being
an entrepreneur I have found myself to lean more towards an introvert at times and I think
it's because you are putting yourself out there so much more than you normally would
because you're trying to spread the word you're networking you're meeting new people and opportunities
that it actually has allowed me to tap into my inner introvert more which is very shocking
and I am a cancer born in July and it always talks about introverts and I'm like am I really
a cancer because I'm an extrovert like I don't really check any of those boxes but I think
at heart I am a homebody because I love the feeling of being in my home with my family.
What was really interesting when he when he described that is there's so many of us that
you know think that we are extrovert or that we're supposed to be extrovert that ultimately
an introvert and so then you think about the social anxiety of being in a bar or a club
a lot of us pregame I know I did I would have a couple of drinks to go out to have a couple
of drinks and then you look back and go oh now it makes sense because actually I'm not
a huge fan of being in the middle of you know and then you look at oh Steve he's the life
of the party and then Steve 10 years later is a raging alcoholic well because again we
did the same thing.
Liquid courage didn't work too much yeah no that's so funny because I am always the life
of the party and I always do love you know having you know a drink to unwind or just
social drink or whatever but I only have two max so even when like I'm like oh yeah let's
go out with my friends and let's go get some drinks it's so funny because they think like
okay like are we like drinking drinking like having a good time I'm like two drinks is
good I'm having a great time have a great day yeah absolutely yeah it's funny but I
think that's it so you as you said you lean more towards the true extrovert but I think
a lot of us you know if once we understand our social makeup then you kind of give yourself
permission to be anxious it's not like I'm scared of being it but it's just that you
know this it is abnormal to be you know in a modern society bar setting for example when
you think about tribal humans only a few thousand years ago so that's something where some of
this self-medication comes in there's nothing wrong with you it's just you haven't identified
the kind of personality that you actually are yeah I think we just continue to learn
more about ourselves as we go on our way on our journey and like I talked about early
on there's just all the different seasons of life and we go through them and every new
decade brings on you know new adjustments as well as prioritizing what matters most
absolutely well very last question then so if people want to reach out to you specifically
where are you online or on social media yeah I'm pretty big on LinkedIn that's the social
platform I think I check the most from a personal and professional standpoint so connect with
me on LinkedIn Monica Fullerton and I'm on Instagram and Facebook as well but LinkedIn
is is my jam I love kind of working in the business piece as well as the the personal
piece there brilliant well I want to say thank you so much it's been you know an unusual
conversation in the best of ways because a lot of people are coming on here talking about
their time in war or you know their their scientific background and mental health or
whatever it is but this is a really important you know conversation to have is that what
certainly the spouses of first responders of military how can they actually forge a
career that they're passionate about alongside their loved one in uniform and then as we
touched on before the transition piece as well so I want to thank you so much for being
so generous with your time and coming on the behind the shield podcast today thank you
so much for having me