1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,820 This episode is brought to you by Thorne and I have some incredible news for any of you 2 00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:07,960 that are in the military, first responder or medical professions. 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:15,860 In an effort to give back, Thorne is now offering you an ongoing 35% off each and every one 4 00:00:15,860 --> 00:00:19,780 of your purchases of their incredible nutritional solutions. 5 00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:27,280 Now Thorne is the official supplement of CrossFit, the UFC, the Mayo Clinic, the Human Performance 6 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:31,480 Project and multiple special operations organizations. 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:36,440 I myself have used them for several years and that is why I brought them on as a sponsor. 8 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:42,080 Some of my favorite products they have are their Multivitamin Elite, their Whey Protein, 9 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,840 the Super EPA and then most recently, Cynaquil. 10 00:00:45,840 --> 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using the code BTS10, 20 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,120 Behind the Shield 10 for a one-time purchase. 21 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:41,780 Now to learn more about Thorn, go to episode 323 of the Behind the Shield podcast with 22 00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:45,760 Joel Titoro and Wes Barnett. 23 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:50,440 This episode is sponsored by a company I've literally been using for over 15 years now 24 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,600 and that is 511. 25 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,760 Now my introduction to their products began when I started wearing 511 uniforms years 26 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,880 ago for Anaheim Fire Department. 27 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,820 And since then I have acquired a host of their backpacks and luggage which have literally 28 00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:04,760 been around the world with me. 29 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:09,280 The backpack where I keep all my recording equipment is a 511 backpack and then most 30 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:13,080 of my civilian gear, the clothes that I wear are also 511. 31 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:17,680 Now more recently they've actually branched out into the brick and mortar stores. 32 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:22,280 So for example Gainesville where I do jiu-jitsu has a beautiful 511 store. 33 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:28,000 So if you are a fire department, a law enforcement agency, you now have access to an entire inventory 34 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,480 of clothing and equipment in these 511 stores. 35 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:35,440 Now I've talked about the range of shoes they have and how important minimizing weight in 36 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,240 our footwear is when it comes to our back health, knee health, etc. 37 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:44,160 I've talked about their unique uniforms that are fitted for either male or female first 38 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,160 responders. 39 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:49,200 And then I want to highlight one new area, their Cloudstrike packs. 40 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:53,520 For those of you who enjoy hiking, this would even be an application I believe for the wildland 41 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:54,520 community. 42 00:02:54,520 --> 00:03:00,880 They've created an ultralight pack now with a hydration system built in for rucking, running 43 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,100 or other long distance events. 44 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:08,740 Now as always 511 is offering you, the audience of the Behind the Shield podcast, 15% off 45 00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:10,920 every purchase that you make. 46 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:22,820 So if you use the code SHIELD15 at 511tactical.com you will get that 15% off every single time. 47 00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:29,140 So if you want to hear more about 511 and their origin story, go to episode 338 of Behind 48 00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:34,900 the Shield podcast with their CEO Francisco Morales. 49 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:38,200 Welcome to the Behind the Shield podcast as always my name is James Gearing and this week 50 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:43,920 it is my absolute honor to welcome on the show entrepreneur, Air Force spouse and the 51 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:48,320 woman behind Spousely, Monica Fullerton. 52 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:54,040 Now in this conversation we discuss a host of topics from her early life, the huge potential 53 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:59,040 for entrepreneurial ship not only with military and first responders spouses but also their 54 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:05,240 partners, the array of gifts and services you can find on Spousely and so much more. 55 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:10,120 Now before we get to this incredible conversation as I say every week please just take a moment, 56 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:15,200 go to whichever app you listen to this on, subscribe to the show, leave feedback and 57 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,120 leave a rating. 58 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:22,240 Every single five star rating truly does elevate this podcast therefore making it easier for 59 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:29,040 others to find and this is a free library of well over 900 episodes now. 60 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:34,880 So all I ask in return is that you help share these incredible men and women stories so 61 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:39,880 I can get them to every single person on planet earth who needs to hear them. 62 00:04:39,880 --> 00:05:05,080 So with that being said I introduce to you, Monica Fullerton, enjoy. 63 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,960 Well Monica I want to start by saying thank you so much for taking the time and coming 64 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,800 on the Behind the Shield podcast today. 65 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,260 Thanks so much for having me James I'm excited to be here. 66 00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:17,280 So where on planet earth are we finding you this morning? 67 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:25,960 Oh man I am over in Las Vegas so it's a great place to be there's a lot more to do in Vegas 68 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,160 than just the strip. 69 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:33,640 So educate us because I have never been to Vegas because a I'm not a huge fan of deserts 70 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:39,800 I lived in California for a while and b gambling does nothing for me so if people aren't into 71 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:44,880 those what are the things that are exciting about Vegas that draw the non gamblers to 72 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,880 your city? 73 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:51,520 Yes so we live about 30 minutes from the strip so for us it doesn't even look like we're 74 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:56,240 in Vegas we have a beautiful mountain view out of our window and we love going up to 75 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:02,080 the mountains there's beautiful red rocks so just you know getting outside really embracing 76 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:07,920 that the desert also has more to offer we kind of created our own little oasis in our 77 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,720 backyard so we've got you know a pool a putting green it doesn't I mean you would never even 78 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:17,520 know you're in Vegas but there's a lot of great shopping there's a ton of great restaurants 79 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:22,960 off the strip we actually try not to eat really on the strip ever just because you know it's 80 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:28,240 so busy and it's very touristy and we like to go to more of the mom and pops and the 81 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:33,080 fun trendy bars and stuff off of the strip so there's there's a lot more and honestly 82 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:38,360 we've got twins so having kids here I was completely like I cannot believe my kids are 83 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:42,880 going to be born in Vegas but so far it's been good family wise as well there's a lot 84 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:43,880 to do. 85 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,880 Have the kids got tattoos already? 86 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,800 Yes it says I love my mom. 87 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:53,360 Now there's actually a comparison though because I live just outside Orlando and worked there 88 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:59,560 for 10 years as a firefighter in that area and again I can't stand the resort area sometimes 89 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,560 I get dragged into them because my family wants to go to the parks but outside of those 90 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,840 same there's some beautiful not only areas of Orlando itself but also a lot of suburbs 91 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:12,640 of Orlando that are absolutely gorgeous and you wouldn't think you're anywhere near the 92 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,680 the rat house. 93 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,240 Yeah for sure I mean you want to you kind of get that out of your system when you first 94 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,000 move there and everybody starts to visit you and they're like oh can we go down and gamble 95 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:27,360 and everything so I would say the first year was good for that and then after that it turned 96 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:31,440 into more like okay what can we do not going near the strip. 97 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:32,440 Yeah absolutely. 98 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,320 All right well I'd love to start at the very beginning of your timeline so tell me where 99 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,360 you were born and tell me a little bit about your family dynamic what your parents did 100 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,480 how many siblings? 101 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:47,880 Yeah so born and raised in a small town in Ohio it's called Medina Ohio. 102 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:55,100 My dad is a doctor and my mom worked in a number of different corporate industries as 103 00:07:55,100 --> 00:08:03,000 well as having her own businesses throughout the way and it was always just very inspiring 104 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:08,040 and interesting to see so I didn't grow up with my parents together so I was kind of 105 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,040 torn. 106 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:14,520 I always saw two different worlds I always saw you know my mom was a hard-working single 107 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:19,440 mom always doing everything that she could and same with my grandma to give me the best 108 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:24,440 life and my dad you know a doctor working around the clock he also owned a restaurant 109 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:30,560 surgery center so just also very you know business driven but in kind of his own world 110 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:36,400 in a sense so it really allowed me to kind of see the power of hard work at a really 111 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,400 young age. 112 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:43,280 I've always been around other entrepreneurs and just absolutely loved being brought up 113 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:51,280 in a small town and really having that Midwest small town upbringing but I also when I got 114 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,920 after graduating from high school I picked South Florida to go to school for a reason 115 00:08:55,920 --> 00:09:00,040 and that was because I just wanted to see what else was out there in the world and I 116 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,800 had big dreams of becoming the next Oprah. 117 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:09,960 I absolutely loved the power of communication and how she brought people together so loved 118 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:14,880 the small town feel absolutely loved everything that it really just ingrained in me but I 119 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:19,840 also you know had big dreams and big goals and I wanted to see what the world had to 120 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,720 offer. 121 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:27,680 When you look back now as a mother at your upbringing what are your observations between 122 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:32,480 and I don't like hate that phrase kind of work-life balance it's so cliche but there 123 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:39,920 is a tug of war between actually simply earning enough money to put a roof over your kids 124 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:46,160 you know heads and clothe them and feed them but balancing that with being present and 125 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,360 a lot of the first responders and military members listening I'm sure you know we're 126 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:56,000 acutely aware of that but I've seen my my son's mother her mother worked and worked 127 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,880 and worked and so she ultimately was kind of raised by her grandmother and there's kind 128 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:05,200 of you know there's not a strong relationship between her and her mother and I've seen it 129 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:09,480 even you know in a different way with my wife now and her son and it wasn't so much that 130 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:16,680 she wasn't there but it was just a case of you know when you do when you bend over backwards 131 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:21,920 for your child where is that point where you start losing the relationship as they're growing 132 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:22,920 up? 133 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:29,080 Yeah you know I always talk about the hustle and the juggle because at the end of the day 134 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,600 you know a little little backstory for those listening because I didn't mention it but 135 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:37,560 basically what happened on my journey was I moved to South Florida with those big dreams 136 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:43,880 and went to school for broadcasting and communications and I ended up getting back together with 137 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:49,520 my high school sweetheart from the small town and he was actually commissioning into the 138 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:54,820 Air Force so that's kind of how everything played out where you know I ended up living 139 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:59,800 this military life and being a part of the ongoing just you know you don't really know 140 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:04,920 what's coming next but once we added kids into the mix which is so wild that the twins 141 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:10,980 were born here in Vegas I started to realize you know between what the military demands 142 00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:16,520 of his time and what my life looked like working in corporate and then I started my own business 143 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:22,100 and you know raising twins without any family nearby it was the constant juggle of how am 144 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:28,360 I going to be able to handle it all and what I will say is you get to a place where you 145 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:33,120 know in your gut when you need to take some steps back and when you need to adjust different 146 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:37,880 things that are on your plate and it's a constant season of life just like the seasons that 147 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:44,400 we go through you know in the world basically so I feel like I have continued to get to 148 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:49,140 a place in the different seasons of life that I've gone through the different stages whether 149 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:54,800 it's with the twins or in my career that you just kind of hit that point of like okay I 150 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:59,940 need to come up for air a little bit and I need to see where I'm at where I want to go 151 00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:05,920 and am I present in the moment and I actually just readjusted I really took some time towards 152 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:12,440 the end of last year to kind of really mentally adjust where I was at and how I was balancing 153 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:17,400 everything and I didn't love where I was at to be honest I was just you know buried and 154 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:22,960 living and breathing growing a business and juggling it all and my husband's crazy schedule 155 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:28,160 and you're essentially parenting on your own oftentimes just trying to meet the demand 156 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:33,600 of everything so I feel like you just get to a place where you know in your gut like 157 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:38,440 I need to make some changes and that's what I recently just did over the past few months 158 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:45,040 and honestly it's been incredible because I feel more present in where I'm at and where 159 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,360 I'm headed. 160 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:52,240 Our first responders work a lot more than most people realize and what I've come to 161 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:59,920 kind of talk about I guess more than anything else is shifting the mind from money to currency 162 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,920 and really ultimately as a parent your currency is time with your children time with your 163 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:09,520 family that's the ultimate gold standard and so if hours work and these are you know forced 164 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:15,320 hours a standard work week and then mandatory overtime if they're understaffed you look 165 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:19,920 at a paycheck you go well I'm providing for my family but that's not the most important 166 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:24,440 currency anymore because it's at the detriment of the time with your family and it's a really 167 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:29,620 hard mix to get people to firstly even identify because they're so tired but the biggest thing 168 00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:34,640 is to then turn around and fight for to advocate for that time off because I mean if you look 169 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,920 at the corporate space a lot of the big companies are actually cutting their work weeks now 170 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:43,480 they're realizing that a 32-hour work week is just as productive and their employees 171 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:48,800 have three days off or as you know some military and first responder organizations it's the 172 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:53,200 complete opposite and you know sadly we do see some of the relationship breakdowns in 173 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,760 our professions. 174 00:13:54,760 --> 00:14:00,040 Yeah it's really hard you know a number of our neighbors are retired firefighters and 175 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:05,120 law enforcement and military and when we get together it's always such an interesting conversation 176 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:09,480 of just kind of hearing what it was like you know when they were serving or when when they 177 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:16,400 were you know in the industry and everything and where it's at now and there are you know 178 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,600 I like to think that we're taking steps in the right direction to get more of the family 179 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:25,760 focus piece but you know sadly at the end of the day the divorce rate is still high 180 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:31,880 in the military the military spouse unemployment rate has been at 24 percent for nearly a decade 181 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,880 and it's because you know most spouses are trying to piece the puzzle together while 182 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:41,760 being present for their family holding down the fort pursuing their own career and there's 183 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:47,120 just a lot of moving pieces all the time but like you said it really boils down to there's 184 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:52,620 only so much time in a day it's up to us what we do to break it down and how we prioritize 185 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:55,640 that currency that matters most to us. 186 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,680 Well going back to your early life then how much of an impact did the entrepreneurial 187 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:05,200 element of your mother's career impact you as you got older? 188 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:12,080 Yeah so it's always been like I said kind of that split upbringing I will say I definitely 189 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:17,200 got the work ethic from my family everybody is very hard workers especially you know my 190 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:22,200 dad just kind of explaining where he's at he's still not retired and you know gonna 191 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:28,160 work till the day he dies but what really happened with it is he was never present and 192 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:34,880 that was something I always will live with you know even when I see him I try to explain 193 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,640 like just come to my graduation or you know be there for the little moments and those 194 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,880 were things that he missed out on and he was there you know he lived five minutes away 195 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:49,560 from us so he could be present but you just kind of you know when you're growing up that's 196 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:55,280 all you really know so I think for us it's been super important to make time where we're 197 00:15:55,280 --> 00:16:00,000 all together we just started family game nights on Thursdays and those are things that you 198 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,120 know the twins will always remember and even though our schedules are constantly changing 199 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,960 and it doesn't always fit in you know the right way we still need to make time for it 200 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:15,280 to work so I feel like growing up in an entrepreneur family taught me a lot of things especially 201 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:19,080 from a work ethic standpoint but then it also taught me a lot of things that I didn't want 202 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:25,940 to happen with my own children and that becomes where you put work first and when work becomes 203 00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:32,680 number one and your family becomes number two that's where you end up trying to really 204 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:39,520 you know backtrack and make up for those that lost time so trying to balance it. 205 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:43,320 I think I had a very similar experience with my dad and I had him on the show I mean he 206 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:47,000 is a veterinary surgeon and he was in the house he was you know my parents got divorced 207 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:54,040 when I was 18 so my upbringing he was there yeah I mean I won for example national championships 208 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:59,680 in martial arts and he never saw a single fight and when I look back now with this kind 209 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,920 of you know different lens that I have and kind of psychoanalyze it it's very hard for 210 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:11,840 a child to come to terms with why they weren't important enough and more important than their 211 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:16,320 parents job you know so when you have for example the adopted child well what was not 212 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:20,040 good enough for my real parents you know why wouldn't the one parent left why wasn't I 213 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:24,040 good enough for them and it's a very crushing thing for some kids but I think conversely 214 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:28,160 that you know the the latchkey kids you know the kids that never saw their parents who 215 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:33,520 they lived with there's got to be a kind of psychological element to that too. 216 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:40,200 Yeah absolutely and you know with my dad wanting to become a doctor I want to think it's kind 217 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:45,160 of a cultural thing because he's from India he came you know to America to become a doctor 218 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,960 and he's the oldest in his family and you know he had instilled in his brain that he 219 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,360 has to take care of everybody so you know anytime you ask him and he's he's like it's 220 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:58,520 not work if you love what you do and I want to be able to help people and everything like 221 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,920 that but it almost kind of plays a toll on you in a way because you're like well what 222 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:07,840 about the ones that are right you know your family that you care about most it's so much 223 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,200 more than just a monetary standpoint it's just being there for the little moments and 224 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:18,120 I think as parents now that is something that my husband and I said you know that we would 225 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:24,320 really raise the twins to appreciate everything to be grateful for all of the little moments 226 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,760 be grateful for all the little things that they get and that we get to do as a family 227 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:32,600 because you know oftentimes you just never know what someone else's situation is and 228 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,920 we're working really hard as a unit to come together and to work around our schedules 229 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:41,720 to make sure that they always feel that love through different things and it's not just 230 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:46,400 through things it's through you know activities together it's through just hanging out in 231 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:51,040 the backyard together swimming whatever it is because those are the moments that we all 232 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:55,680 remember most it's not about oh yeah you know my parent just bought me this new pair of 233 00:18:55,680 --> 00:19:00,280 shoes or I've got the best clothes in the class or whatever those are just things and 234 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:06,760 when you take away things that's when you know the true impact comes for shaping who 235 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,600 we want them to be as humans. 236 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:14,560 Yeah well I think another interesting perspective is to be able to look back and see those things 237 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,280 not create you know a victim mentality but just see them and acknowledge them I always 238 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:23,480 say you know reason is not excuses that was a reason for me feeling a certain way as I 239 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:30,200 grew up but you know there's also a lot of shame cast on broken homes so the problem 240 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:35,000 with society today is well there are back stories to all of these homes the only thing 241 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,120 that we have in our control is what we do with our home everyone listening whether you're 242 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:43,880 a single parent whether you know your grandparents raising your grandchildren because your children 243 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:48,680 are off doing whatever they're doing that's how we can undo the damage and I tried you 244 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:53,440 know it's hard being on shift as a firefighter but I tried to be there as much as I could 245 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:57,080 for my son and even like you said the little things just sitting down and playing with 246 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,400 Lego or you know whatever it was you know the the Pokemon cards I never knew how to 247 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,200 play that damn game we just made it up as we went along you know and then now he's 16 248 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,080 and he talks about you know you were there you were there you were there and I think 249 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:15,600 that's that's the thing is no matter what our upbringing was like we have the opportunity 250 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:20,680 to stop that next domino from falling yeah we've got to be stronger than our excuses 251 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,440 my husband always says that he's like I don't want to hear you tell he teaches the twins 252 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,840 that too like don't tell me your excuses just tell me what you're going to do to fix it 253 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:33,920 or what you're going to do to make a change and I always love that about him and the way 254 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,480 that you know he was raised because he was raised much different we grew up in the same 255 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:43,480 town together we were pretty much middle school sweethearts and he came from more of a family 256 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:49,560 where he always had to work for everything he wanted where I was you know a bit spoiled 257 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:54,840 I was an only child and I just kind of went with the flow of everything where you know 258 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:59,680 he was a hard worker from day one and that was something that I absolutely loved is because 259 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:06,120 he always kept me grounded as I grew up and obviously was navigating my own journey and 260 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:11,880 that was something that I see now as parents is just constantly keeping them grounded especially 261 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:17,040 with growing up in Vegas just because I feel like they're missing out on so many childhood 262 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:21,520 things that like how we grew up you know in the Midwest of just being able to you know 263 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:27,500 go outside on our own and play in at the park and things like that and that's just not how 264 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:33,160 it is living in Vegas so I am looking forward to we are going to be moving to Florida which 265 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:38,400 will be you know a nice opportunity for them to soak in all of those new memories and the 266 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,040 beach life and just kind of getting out there a bit more. 267 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:46,860 I've talked about this a few times where I live they built four subdivisions around a 268 00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:52,120 big communal area so there's a lake there's a football pitch like a soccer pitch tennis 269 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:57,720 courts basketball court the clubhouse with the pool and it literally is what everyone 270 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:02,700 romanticizes about the kids go and they'll play all day and it's safe because it's well 271 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:08,000 lit and you know massive paths off from the roads and then you know when they're old enough 272 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,440 to be able to do this they come home when the street lights go on you know and it's 273 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,720 something that we can put back but we've just got so far away and everything now you have 274 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:20,040 to drive from A to B and I think you would just make such an impact not only on the upbringing 275 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:25,240 of children but also on you know the obesity epidemic you know if you went back to a lot 276 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:30,680 more of those kind of pedestrian focused communities where it was safe for children to be out in 277 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,920 the park play get rid of all their energy and then come home. 278 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:39,800 Yeah I actually just was reading something interesting the other day that talked about 279 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:45,060 children that are raised more with like nature involved like out in nature doing activities 280 00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:50,400 and stuff as they grow up are less likely like they they don't have as many you know 281 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:55,000 mental health issues and things like that just because they were able to kind of see 282 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,800 just the beauty and everything that comes from the simple things where obviously now 283 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:04,000 a days that's a huge challenge because you know we've got we've got the internet and 284 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:09,520 we've got gaming and all those things where like our children's minds live in like this 285 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:14,840 whole nother like world essentially so that's something as parents that we've been really 286 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:19,680 cautious about you know with thank goodness the twins aren't really into gaming and going 287 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:23,960 down that path like just wanting to constantly do things as a family because you want to 288 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:28,320 keep them around and you want to create an environment that they want to be in and that 289 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,920 they want to grow up in as well. 290 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,680 Absolutely well speaking of playing when you were in the school age what were you playing 291 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,240 as far as sports? 292 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:42,880 Oh man so I was never I was kind of a hopper I like to think about like I've done everything 293 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:51,040 I've played soccer softball dance all different things but because I was an only child and 294 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:57,300 because my family was always busy I felt like I didn't really have like the push and no 295 00:23:57,300 --> 00:24:03,080 you need to get past the point of it's hard and continue to stick with it and you know 296 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:07,880 do it do it to the end kind of thing so I like to think I was a hopper I did you know 297 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:12,760 all different instruments to different things but I never really stuck to one thing and 298 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:17,360 that was something that I wish that I had a little bit more direction in of like no 299 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:22,600 you should really keep playing soccer or no you should really keep doing this because 300 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:29,160 you know if we don't push our kids to keep trying when things get hard then you know 301 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,520 they just they become a hopper like I did which there's nothing wrong with it and I 302 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:38,640 honestly think that that's shaped who I am today which I absolutely am so well rounded 303 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:43,320 when it comes to like just enjoying a little bit of everything which is also not a bad 304 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:44,320 quality to have. 305 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:48,320 Yeah yeah actually I'm the same absolutely the same I'm a martial artist is anything 306 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:54,080 I ever did to a somewhat higher level but I told my son like I can I can do a huge amount 307 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,660 of things and I'm not great at any of them and I'm totally fine with that I can jump 308 00:24:57,660 --> 00:25:02,160 on a wakeboard or a snowboard or you know a windsurf all the things but am I going to 309 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,520 win any competitions no so I think there's a point you know there's a place for you to 310 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:11,640 just go you know all in on one thing but there's nothing wrong with also just immersing yourself 311 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,520 in all the things. 312 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,960 Right I agree. 313 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:22,120 So you talked about Oprah so what was the burning desire as far as that path and was 314 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:26,560 it journalism was it simply being kind of like a chat show host what was actually the 315 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,320 nucleus of your kind of passion at that point? 316 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,480 Yeah so I would always come home from school and I would watch her talk show at the time 317 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:41,600 and I just remember watching it at a young age and being so inspired by how one person 318 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:47,680 had the power of bringing so many people together of all different walks of life all different 319 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:55,040 you know different passions and industries and different stories and everybody just was 320 00:25:55,040 --> 00:26:00,960 laughing and or crying or sharing stories and it was just so inspiring to me that she 321 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:06,720 had the power to do that and that's why I wanted to go into broadcasting and communications 322 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:12,320 it wasn't necessarily you know for the the journalism piece of it it was more so like 323 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:18,840 how can I use my voice to help bring people together because I am so outgoing and I'm 324 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:25,920 an extrovert and I just have this natural superpower of instantly meeting someone and 325 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:30,240 feeling like we've known each other forever which I feel like you know not everybody kind 326 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,280 of has that superpower or wants that superpower there's a ton of introverts that are like 327 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:40,520 no thank you I am good I am good on the conversation but I don't know I just I really love the 328 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,840 power of communication because I feel like if you can master communications you can do 329 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,760 so much in life which actually has been the groundwork of everything that I've done whether 330 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:53,560 it was in my corporate career or starting my own business or you know with the kids 331 00:26:53,560 --> 00:27:00,320 or my my relationship or no matter what it has been it's been communications as my groundwork. 332 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:07,400 With that perspective what are your thoughts when it comes to the information that is being 333 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:12,400 disseminated in the world I'll give you my perspective when I look at for example Fox 334 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:19,160 CNN I find it very divisive very lack of communication all opinion based when I look at a lot of 335 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:24,320 messages that have come out of for example DC the last eight years very divisive no real 336 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:29,120 communication just talking about what the other guy did versus how we the nation can 337 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:34,840 come together and improve what is your lens on the message that is out there not only 338 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:39,160 just for the young people for my generation as well. 339 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:44,400 Yeah I honestly think it is pretty sad just because it has been so divided and it's it 340 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:48,680 really is an issue of what's being put out there and how the different networks are really 341 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:53,040 like picking and choosing different topics and how they pull them apart which is why 342 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:58,460 I think so many individuals who do have a passion for communication or just a passion 343 00:27:58,460 --> 00:28:02,960 for understanding things and knowledge are starting to just create their own YouTube 344 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:07,440 channels and they're sharing their own opinions and they're they're doing different things 345 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:12,000 but I really think at the end of the day it boils down to the facts and to the data and 346 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:18,600 to what is actually available for us to have a better understanding of a specific you know 347 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:23,600 use case whether it's something going on in the world or something that's coming about 348 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,600 or whatever it might be the history of it we need to look at all the facts we need to 349 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:32,160 pull all the data together and we need to remember that it is okay that everybody has 350 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:38,400 different opinions but I think what happens is if an influencer or a broadcasting and 351 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:43,600 communications person is pushing their own opinion on everybody that that's that's the 352 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:48,240 right way and that's it that's where we're wrong and that's where we're failing you know 353 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:53,160 in a community standpoint we need to all be able to come together and say this is what 354 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:57,160 I believe and this is why and here are the facts this is what I believe and here are 355 00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:02,000 the facts kind of thing and then meet in the middle of okay what can we do to improve so 356 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:08,720 I feel like I am actually I feel like everything happens for a reason and I am pretty glad 357 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:16,160 that I never did pursue a career in broadcasting and being on TV and being a host or whatever 358 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:22,540 it might be because I just think it's it's an industry now that it's not where I want 359 00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:27,000 to be and I honestly have been able to connect with more people through the power of communication 360 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:32,360 through entrepreneurship I've been able to build a community of like-minded individuals 361 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:38,080 to come together to share our stories to inspire one another and that is where I feel like 362 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:42,780 my true superpower has come to play versus feeling like I have to report on something 363 00:29:42,780 --> 00:29:48,280 that maybe I it's not my opinion or not something I believe in but because this network wants 364 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:53,820 it to be presented in this light then I have to talk about it and then that initially puts 365 00:29:53,820 --> 00:29:58,120 me and my reputation at risk because it's not something that I would normally want to 366 00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,120 be talking about. 367 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,800 Yeah well that's what I found with this I mean I asked me eight years ago if I was going 368 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:07,680 to start a podcast I'd be like what's the podcast and I guess I knew by that point but 369 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:12,400 ten years ago I would have said what's the podcast but what I've realized now is there's 370 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:18,960 so much job justification and unneeded red tape because I mean I'll give you a perfect 371 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,960 example Sebastian Junger phenomenal phenomenal author I emailed him this morning he's got 372 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:28,760 a book coming out in May and hey Sebastian do you want to come back on the show hey James 373 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:34,080 I'd love to I've cc'd my person and then we've already got a date down it's that simple and 374 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:39,160 then I talked to a man who's a true expert in his field this written book sort of you 375 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,920 know been so powerful tribe for example for our military members and our first responders 376 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:48,920 a man who was embedded in one of the the highest up-tempo areas of the Afghan war so this man 377 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:55,080 understands that there's no you know no tricks or middleman yeah that's straight from the 378 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:59,240 source exactly simple questions you know hey you know what did you see what did you do 379 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,680 you know what and that was it and then and then you add of us obviously if you want to 380 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:07,480 get a perspective of a thing then you listen to other people maybe maybe slightly opposing 381 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:13,520 views and then you get a really good understanding but if everything has been the Fox you know 382 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:19,000 the narrative or the CNN narrative you're always gonna get this skewed perspective and 383 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,600 again there's so many people in between it's like what I always say you have a murder on 384 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:27,240 the street in America and they're interviewing people that walk past an hour later what do 385 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:33,800 you think you weren't even there why are we asking you absolutely it's just the lens is 386 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:39,020 just getting narrower and narrower and at the end of the day that's just where the real 387 00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:44,640 problem is is that you know the the younger generations think that that's like the full 388 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,920 picture than when they see something and I think it's it's we need to keep doing our 389 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:56,280 due diligence on where we're at where we were how we can get to a better place absolutely 390 00:31:56,280 --> 00:32:01,360 well on that career path then how far did you pursue that and then what did you find 391 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:09,000 yourself in next yeah so I did my bachelor's degree was in the multimedia journalism and 392 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:14,880 journalism and communications I had such great opportunities in Boca Raton Florida I was 393 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:20,420 actually working with Jill Zarin from Real Housewives of New York doing some of her communications 394 00:32:20,420 --> 00:32:26,040 for her brand like just a lot of connections and ins and everything to really you know 395 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:31,760 jump start my career into broadcasting but I after my bachelor's I started doing my masters 396 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:37,200 right away which was in business and then that's when I think my mental shift started 397 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:42,080 to kind of change just because I was seeing with the broadcasting side how much work actually 398 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:47,000 has to go into it for how little pay you get like you have to be you know a one-man show 399 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,320 basically you're putting together the whole story you're reporting on it you're going 400 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:54,840 to that location and once I started realizing kind of like what they make and stuff and 401 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:59,040 seeing what other opportunities were out there I was like this seems a little crazy to me 402 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:05,360 this is a little off you know so I never actually got to really fully go into pursuing a broadcasting 403 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:13,800 career I really leveraged more of the the business degree and entrepreneurship so when 404 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:19,840 I left college after finishing my masters that's when we got stationed at our first duty stage 405 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:24,760 station which was in San Antonio Texas and I was so lost I just remember thinking like 406 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:29,920 what job am I going to go apply for because there's no way I can apply for a broadcasting 407 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:34,840 career and living the military life knowing that we could be moving every year or every 408 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:41,000 two to three years so that was kind of crossed off my list and then I ended up just going 409 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,160 into you know many different interviews ended up in logistics which I had no idea what logistics 410 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:50,680 even was I remember sitting in the interview thinking please tell me what logistics is 411 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:56,840 because I have no idea and ended up staying in that industry for almost a decade I just 412 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:01,760 got really good at it I learned so much from it it was actually really cool because just 413 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:07,040 like communications logistics is the foundational work for any business essentially at the end 414 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:12,280 of the day and if you understand the operations and the logistics of a business and everything 415 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:16,640 that they do to get from point A to point B there's so much more that's a stepping 416 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:22,560 stone then then I would have gotten in broadcasting so one thing just continued to lead to another 417 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:28,580 and that's kind of what led me to creating my company spousely which I had not had no 418 00:34:28,580 --> 00:34:34,400 idea what how to build a multi-vendor marketplace but I knew it needed to all stem from my passion 419 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:38,220 of communications and bringing people together. 420 00:34:38,220 --> 00:34:41,440 When you're talking about San Antonio and wondering how you're going to work it's funny 421 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,800 my in-laws are in San Antonio I'm literally about to go there in two weeks time very very 422 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:51,480 heavily populated military city very proud but again also a lot of military spouses looking 423 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:59,340 for work I'm sure but it makes me think about the pandemic and one of the most detrimental 424 00:34:59,340 --> 00:35:04,960 things about the way it was handled it was a real virus you know and also it depended 425 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:08,840 on the health of the individual how they you know was the outcome that was the truth in 426 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:13,280 the middle of that whole thing however the way it was handled with the stay in your house 427 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:19,220 and we'll tell you when you can come out was the lack the excuse me the loss of autonomy 428 00:35:19,220 --> 00:35:24,740 was extremely detrimental to a lot of people's mental health now when you're describing a 429 00:35:24,740 --> 00:35:31,440 husband or a wife of a military member who is know they're going to be here for 12 months 430 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:36,840 but they really don't know what's coming next I would assume there was almost a kind of 431 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:42,760 not a loss but a fractured autonomy where you don't really have the capacity to sew 432 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:47,160 your you know put your roots down properly and so there must be almost like an anxiety 433 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:55,600 of never feeling completely settled yeah you know that is 100% true for a lot of military 434 00:35:55,600 --> 00:36:00,920 families especially because of just the ongoing lifestyle of not knowing what's coming next 435 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,460 it can be really really hard from a mental health standpoint because one it's like okay 436 00:36:05,460 --> 00:36:09,840 do I go out and I try to meet some friends and then I meet friends and then I leave and 437 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:14,040 then it's like now you've got to start all over again every single time and what job 438 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:19,020 am I going to be able to get that's going to move around with us so for me my my story 439 00:36:19,020 --> 00:36:25,920 is pretty unique in the military space of I was super lucky when I went into that logistics 440 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:31,800 interview I this is something that most military spouses struggle with is do you tell them 441 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,960 you're a military spouse when you're looking for a career because if you tell them you're 442 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:40,080 a military spouse are they going to hire you knowing that you are going to have to move 443 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:46,280 around all of the time and at the time remote work really wasn't like a big thing so for 444 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:50,880 me I was super lucky I was very close with the owner of the company and you know he was 445 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:55,720 very supportive of the military and the military lifestyle and he goes I will never forget 446 00:36:55,720 --> 00:37:00,040 what he said to me he goes Monica you are never leaving this company I'm going to keep 447 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,680 you as long as possible I absolutely love your work ethic and everything that you bring 448 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:08,520 to the table we will do whatever it takes to keep you on board and he held true to his 449 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:13,960 word when we found out we were moving from San Antonio I became one of their only remote 450 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:20,280 workers and I continued to prove that remote work was possible as I continued to move up 451 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:26,040 in my position I did start traveling quite a bit because this was all prior to COVID 452 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:30,920 but it really proved and it showed that you can be successful and have a great career 453 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:37,100 and work remote it just sadly took the pandemic for more companies to open their doors to 454 00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:45,400 remote work so I would say the pandemic definitely was awful for everything that it brought on 455 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:49,840 especially from a mental health standpoint but it also opened a lot of new doors especially 456 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:56,640 for the military spouse community because now military spouses are able to land certain 457 00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:01,680 careers and work remote and leverage their education and their degree that they might 458 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:06,540 have and not really feel like they have to settle and that's something that I've been 459 00:38:06,540 --> 00:38:11,120 a huge advocate for and continuing to use my story and everything that I've done to 460 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:17,160 show like you can make a six-figure salary and work remote you can be have a leadership 461 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:23,180 role and be a military spouse and I think oftentimes military spouses you know sadly 462 00:38:23,180 --> 00:38:28,060 we put ourselves in a box because it's very hard to piece the puzzle together and I am 463 00:38:28,060 --> 00:38:33,440 all about how can we knock down that box and continue to flourish with what we have. 464 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:38,080 I couldn't agree more I was talking to my sister who is an editor she works with the 465 00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:43,360 BBC and you know all kinds of basically the kind of I don't know how you describe it Blue 466 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:48,920 Chip or whatever the term is wildlife documentaries that you watch you know with David Amber narrating 467 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:54,680 a lot of those she's worked on so I mean she's phenomenal but before she was kind of juggling 468 00:38:54,680 --> 00:39:00,060 with the housing and she was having a gonna have a baby and I remember saying the same 469 00:39:00,060 --> 00:39:04,120 thing about remote work and it was like I don't think they'll do it and then the pandemic 470 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:09,720 happened and now she does a lot of her editing from home you know and so yeah it's incredible 471 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:13,400 for that and also when you think about just the congestion and the pollution you know 472 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:18,140 absolutely how many people you know would drive an hour hour and a half two hours especially 473 00:39:18,140 --> 00:39:23,440 in the London on trains to go sit at a desk and do the very same thing you could do from 474 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:30,200 a computer at home what I'm curious about is I still see the same amount of traffic 475 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:37,320 has that kind of remote work survived or is it starting to be dragged back into the office 476 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:43,360 again I would say it's mixed I think it just obviously depends on the industry I think 477 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:48,720 most tech companies and you know different companies that can have all of their employees 478 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:52,680 remote or at least hybrid are doing it and they're sticking to it because I think they 479 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:58,120 also saw how much money as a company they could be saving from just the overhead of 480 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:04,920 of having employees coming in and to be honest I feel like employees are more efficient efficient 481 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:09,520 because now they're not talking at the the coffee machine for you know a couple minutes 482 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,680 and they're you're they're focused on their work and they're getting it done which is 483 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:17,780 allowing companies to cut their work week because they're going hard for the three or 484 00:40:17,780 --> 00:40:22,000 four days and now they're rewarding them with Friday off or something like that but I will 485 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:28,600 say you know with Vegas the same amount of traffic is happening still just because of 486 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:33,800 it's an industry based city so a lot of people are working on the strip and they have to 487 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:39,440 physically be there in the casinos so I think it probably just depends on the different 488 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:45,760 areas where we're moving to in Florida I saw that a majority of people outside of you know 489 00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:50,720 those that are commuting do work remote which I thought was really interesting because it's 490 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:55,840 a very remote part of Florida and I was wondering what that would look like and most people 491 00:40:55,840 --> 00:41:00,320 are working remote so I think it just depends on where you're at what the industry is but 492 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:07,480 I would love to see more companies sticking to the remote work option and the hybrid option 493 00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:12,840 because you know not everybody loves remote work for me I'm obsessed with remote work 494 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:18,040 I have my schedule down like I live and breathe in my office which I need to find a better 495 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:24,440 balance of that too speaking of balance earlier on but it is possible and I think that it 496 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:29,360 can continue to help those that need remote work to be an option. 497 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,560 Well you hit on the short of work week this is something I talk about a lot with the fire 498 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:37,360 service especially is there are people that have said oh the fire service is like a business 499 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:43,360 and I vehemently disagree however okay I'll play for a minute if it's a business then 500 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:48,480 why are we modeling the Indonesian sweatshop versus Google or Virgin or some of these progressive 501 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:52,720 corporations that have gone wow four days a week they're getting the same done actually 502 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:56,400 they're being more innovative and efficient they're actually getting a little bit more 503 00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:01,280 done because they're looking forward to their three-day weekend meanwhile our firefighters 504 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:06,320 are working 56 80 hours a week so you're not a business because if you were a business 505 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:10,480 you would have failed by now no one want to work for you so even through that lens the 506 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:14,480 fire service has got to understand that that you know it's a false economy working that 507 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:20,000 way that every progressive business has figured out if you invest in your people your productivity 508 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,320 goes up not down. 509 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:27,740 Yes absolutely I am a big believer of that everything should be at the center of making 510 00:42:27,740 --> 00:42:31,320 sure you understand your people what they're looking for and how you can better support 511 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:37,880 them which is why I still think the military is has continued to drop the ball on the family 512 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:45,440 aspect which is why there are so many high rates of divorce and unemployment and even 513 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:49,280 those going into the military some people don't even the new generations don't even 514 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:54,900 want to do it because they know that that compromises either their family life or their 515 00:42:54,900 --> 00:43:00,120 pay or whatever it might be in their time so I think we need to work towards and I always 516 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:05,600 say this like when one person serves the entire family serves too and that is something that 517 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:11,520 is so important and there's so much work that still needs to be done there's a lot of work 518 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:16,720 that is in place and advocating and showing how important that when your people are happy 519 00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:20,040 they perform better but at the end of the day I don't think it's enough I think we 520 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:26,640 need to be doing more I think we can be doing a lot of things better and I don't know what 521 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:31,120 it's like on the first responder side but that's why with Spousely you know I opened 522 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:35,760 it up to first responders and their families as well and not just military is because we 523 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:41,640 go through very similar struggles and our days look very similar and every day that 524 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:46,000 you know our hero leaves we don't know if they're coming home like it's just the same 525 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:52,400 same kind of mentality and I hope that more corporations and companies and supporters 526 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:58,960 start to realize that it all stems at the people level. 527 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:03,640 People sometimes comment that you know it's these gen Z's that's why we're having problems 528 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:08,940 recruiting and looking at it as in oh they're lazy they're tired or whatever which is obviously 529 00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:14,040 every generation has that kind of person but that's not the majority but I've had guests 530 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:20,160 on the show and some of from the military side of our children literally grew up knowing 531 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:26,480 war and so when we had generations where you know if you had a father or mother that was 532 00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:30,400 in the military there was a high chance that you were going to follow in their path and 533 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:36,760 now when they've seen with 2024 eyes what that actually means you know and all the health 534 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:41,320 and mental health issues that come along with actually being at war you've got a generation 535 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:46,240 of children like hell no I don't want to do that I barely ever saw my dad yeah and it's 536 00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:52,260 the same in the fire service so this is the thing is if we want to retain or encourage 537 00:44:52,260 --> 00:44:56,680 people to come work for the military the first responder professions we've got to fix the 538 00:44:56,680 --> 00:45:00,840 things that are broken because it's not that these these kids are weaker I mean of course 539 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:06,560 we have a growing obesity crisis which factors into that but it's more that they have access 540 00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:12,000 to all this information now so they are actually be able to make a very informed decision and 541 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:17,880 go that looks a bit shit I don't want to do that you know so if we fix it then it will 542 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:22,440 put it back to where a child is excited to join the military or first responders if we 543 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:27,720 don't fix it then ultimately we could not have a military or first responder service 544 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:33,640 anymore yeah I agree 100% and it all stems exactly like you said what they're seeing 545 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,380 in their household and what they're growing up around which is why for me I never wanted 546 00:45:37,380 --> 00:45:42,440 to be a doctor because I watched my dad you know work around the clock and never always 547 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,700 prioritize other people first which there's nothing wrong with that I'm very grateful 548 00:45:46,700 --> 00:45:51,760 that you know his heart is in it and that's what he wants to do but also as a child of 549 00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,160 a doctor like I didn't want to become a doctor because I didn't want my life to look like 550 00:45:56,160 --> 00:46:01,080 that I wanted to have a better balance so I think you know we have to we have to do 551 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:06,040 better we have to find ways to always find that balance and I'm a big believer in people 552 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:12,560 power and you know what we're able to do when we come together and actually truly understand 553 00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:19,160 what we need as just people I want to get the spousy but one thing very quickly I worked 554 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:23,660 on shift as a firefighter for 14 years and then through the universe kicking me up the 555 00:46:23,660 --> 00:46:28,960 ass told me to go and start a podcast instead you know disaster of circumstances I never 556 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:34,360 anticipated leaving the fire service but and then so now I find myself like you this is 557 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:39,920 my home office and this is where I work a lot of the time when I left the fire service 558 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,520 even though yes there may have been things that I brought with me in my mind of the things 559 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:48,560 that we saw my job was over like I didn't have to really think about it until I was 560 00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,960 obviously cleaning gear when I got home and then prepping gear for you know the following 561 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:57,360 shift but when you're an entrepreneur when you've got something like especially if you're 562 00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:01,120 passionate about it's kind of the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last 563 00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:05,920 thing when you go to bed how do you set boundaries in your own home so it doesn't bleed into 564 00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,240 your home life. 565 00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:12,960 Yeah I would be lying if I said that I have cracked the code and I have a perfect plan 566 00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:19,500 in place because it's just a constant you know battle of shifting gears and making the 567 00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:26,200 changes that are needed and pivoting I sleep with my laptop most nights I work around the 568 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:32,160 clock you know it's just it's not ideal but at the end of the day when your heart and 569 00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:37,020 soul is into building something especially something that is helping so many other people 570 00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:42,400 and tackling all of the pain points that we see as a community and really helping other 571 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:50,680 entrepreneurs grow it's it's hard but I told myself with 2024 my goal was going to be to 572 00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:56,480 take some steps back to to put some new things in place so that way I could come up for air 573 00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:01,360 I could actually see all of the great work that I have done over the past few years and 574 00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:08,240 how it really is making a greater impact so for me what that looked like was I basically 575 00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:12,800 moved out of the daily operation of my company I moved my team into more hours we have a 576 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:17,720 ton of automation in place so really I didn't need to be living and breathing it I just 577 00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:22,400 was because I was so attached and I felt the need that I had to be living and breathing 578 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:30,000 it and so then I also joined some other founders as a VP of another company which mentally 579 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:35,560 has allowed me to continue building and growing versus feeling like I was just constantly 580 00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:40,560 pouring from an empty cup so now that I've put even though I've added you know more to 581 00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:45,920 my plate I've also essentially taken things off of my plate and I'm at a place where I 582 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:49,680 feel more balanced than ever and it's funny because people are like wait a second so you're 583 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:54,820 telling me you're an entrepreneur you went and added another full-time job onto your 584 00:48:54,820 --> 00:49:01,360 plate and you're a mom and your military spouse and I'm like yes because if I look back to 585 00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:06,320 how I was able to grow my company to where it's at today one I was still working my corporate 586 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:12,800 career when I launched it and I mentally had another outlet when I went all in on my company 587 00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:17,800 and I was head down just like treading for water every day of building growing knowing 588 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:22,120 that you know I don't have a paycheck coming in you get to a mental place where you're 589 00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:27,340 just like you're exhausting yourself you're like you're basically running a car with no 590 00:49:27,340 --> 00:49:33,940 gas and so now that I actually have gas back in my car and I'm able to keep you know driving 591 00:49:33,940 --> 00:49:38,600 the ship and I've got my windows down like the breeze is blowing again and it feels good 592 00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:44,600 like I feel more balanced I feel alive I am present with my family I am you know there 593 00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:49,120 for them my husband said over the past few years that I was physically there but I wasn't 594 00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:54,920 mentally there and he was 100% right because I was letting it consume me so now that my 595 00:49:54,920 --> 00:50:00,200 brain is kind of separated again into different compartments and not just one compartment 596 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:04,040 like I feel I feel good I feel like I've got a better balance. 597 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:05,040 Brilliant. 598 00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,440 I'm glad I asked that. 599 00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:11,600 Alright well then moving to Spousley then tell me about how the idea came to you and 600 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,760 let's kind of expand on what it looks like. 601 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:21,000 Yeah so Spousley truly stemmed out of my own pure inspiration and frustration as a military 602 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:27,040 spouse like I said my personal story is very unique to the community but most military 603 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:33,360 spouses like I said are facing an unemployment rate of 24% for nearly a decade and that's 604 00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:38,520 because it's really hard to be able to do what you love while living a life on the go 605 00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:43,360 so military spouses feel like they take the backseat oftentimes when it comes to our own 606 00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:50,360 career but what I did see was how much talent was within our community how many of these 607 00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:55,400 spouses have gone into entrepreneurship and have created companies that can move around 608 00:50:55,400 --> 00:51:00,880 with them to really fill that gap but what I noticed was there was not one central location 609 00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:06,240 for people to go and shop and support you know military and first responder owned businesses 610 00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:12,000 so Spousley is basically you know like Etsy meets Angie's List but with a focus on shopping 611 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:17,080 for social good and supporting our nation's heroes so all of our vendors are approved 612 00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:23,000 military and first responder families and anybody can come and shop and support. 613 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:29,840 So what is the spectrum of product services that are offered on Spousley? 614 00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:34,400 Yeah so on the product side you can find a little bit of everything from cookies to custom 615 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:39,600 gifts to woodworking to coffee and you know the list goes on and then on the service side 616 00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:46,640 you can find everything from realtors CPAs lawyers marketing companies I mean you can 617 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:52,600 really find a little bit of everything so our goal is to create that true one-stop shop 618 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:57,880 for people to help you know support those that support us. 619 00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:01,280 And how is traction being so far? 620 00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:05,840 Really good so I've been bootstrapping since launch so I've been self-funding everything 621 00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:11,640 and so obviously with self-funding comes a slower growth because you're growing organically 622 00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:16,080 and through word of mouth but everything we've done has been through word of mouth so we 623 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:21,600 have over 600 vendors now and we're adding more on a weekly basis and that has all all 624 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:27,300 been word of mouth no front-facing marketing and then we've got you know hundreds of thousands 625 00:52:27,300 --> 00:52:33,760 of users we've we're nationwide people are starting to recognize Spousley as the go-to 626 00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:38,680 for supporting this community so we've got a lot of great things going we've been recognized 627 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:44,080 on the Forbes Next 1000 list I made the Inc. female founder to under list like we've been 628 00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:49,120 on national news and just you know doing what we can to spread the word with what we have 629 00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:54,640 and why we've been able to grow so quickly is truly the power of our community. 630 00:52:54,640 --> 00:53:00,000 I think we talked about this on the phone you know a few weeks ago but I and again I'm 631 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:06,880 an incurable optimist very angry optimist but incurable nonetheless but I truly believe 632 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:12,040 there were the beginning of a paradigm shift where I think people are sick and tired of 633 00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:18,320 chain restaurants and chain stores and you know you think about the eighties nineties 634 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:22,280 when shopping malls were at their height you know people would basically go in there just 635 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:27,760 to consume to sift through racks of clothes or you know CDs or whatever it was but there 636 00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:34,240 wasn't really a social interaction there wasn't a bespoke artisan you know craftsman element 637 00:53:34,240 --> 00:53:38,400 to it and I'm watching and I've said this for a few years now and I'm watching our local 638 00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:44,520 mall here in Ocala just disintegrate all these massive like going like I don't even think 639 00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:48,920 malls are a thing anymore no and they could be but I think the way that you breathe life 640 00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,320 into it first you take the damn roof off and that's some blooming daylight and again that's 641 00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:56,880 the most depressing thing to me we're in Florida and it's dark in there but um yeah but then 642 00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:01,800 you know the the breweries and the cafes and the butcher shops and the you know barbershops 643 00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:06,400 and all these places where people talk to people and they consume things that the owner 644 00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:11,960 is actually passionate about I think that's the future but now you have this online platform 645 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,560 because there's times where you don't need to just go to a shop they're just in and that's 646 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:20,960 what Amazon is good about I mean it's a monster but it has got that down um so knowing that 647 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:25,280 you can go to an online store that you support in you know the first responder of military 648 00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:30,560 professions that if they're making it themselves you also know it's American made I think that's 649 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:34,720 part of this new kind of movement this this renaissance that I'm hoping is going to sweep 650 00:54:34,720 --> 00:54:41,240 through America I agree I really hope so as well I feel like you know just really as Americans 651 00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:45,560 I mean we're constantly all working I mean that's one thing about America Ray is like 652 00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:50,360 we're just always craving more and we want to keep growing and building and doing all 653 00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:55,640 the things that I feel like we should put our hard-earned dollars towards supporting 654 00:54:55,640 --> 00:55:00,040 one another because when we support one another especially through our businesses we're really 655 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:04,640 fueling the economy that we want to build and the communities are really the backbone 656 00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:08,480 of everything that we do and you mentioned one thing about the breweries which I think 657 00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:13,760 is super interesting because a lot of breweries now are bringing in vendors like that are 658 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:19,320 small businesses to sell on certain days because they know that those vendors are going to 659 00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:23,560 get some great sales because now it's around the conversation it's meeting it's meeting 660 00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:29,480 the the business owner it's having a nice drink together like it's really about all 661 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:34,480 what we've talked about people supporting people and I hope that as we do continue to 662 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:39,360 grow and build and I know we're up against you know the monsters of marketplaces out 663 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:46,160 there but what you will find when you do come to Spousely is just this instant love and 664 00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:51,800 passion for community and our vendors are supporting vendors our customers are spreading 665 00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:56,580 the word companies corporate companies are coming to us for corporate gifting and big 666 00:55:56,580 --> 00:56:01,040 bulk orders which is nice and awesome because they're putting their money where their mouth 667 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:07,160 is and you know just finding ways to we I get it and not everybody's gonna be able to 668 00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:11,500 find everything they need from supporting a small business but my biggest fan is even 669 00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:16,920 if you set aside 20 bucks 50 bucks 100 bucks a month whatever your budget might look like 670 00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:21,160 to go towards supporting a small business there's so much impact that that can have 671 00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:26,640 alone well I love that term vote with your dollar I mean that's why for example you go 672 00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:31,920 into Publix here in Florida and there's not even a health food section anymore it's so 673 00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:36,220 popular now that it's really yeah it's through the store so you want healthy biscuits go 674 00:56:36,220 --> 00:56:39,880 to the biscuits aisle you want healthy you know whatever and so you've got you know the 675 00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:44,440 organic and the you know grass fed and all those are right next to everything else so 676 00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:48,800 that is supply and demand so we can you know push the needle and I think one of the things 677 00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:53,960 that really really struck me Jocko what excuse me Jocko willing was on Joe Rogan a few years 678 00:56:53,960 --> 00:57:00,520 ago and they were talking about making origin jeans and they found like one of the only 679 00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:06,280 men left who even knew how to work the loom that they needed to use to make the denim 680 00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:10,960 to make the jeans and so this is another part of the conversation is there's all of these 681 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:16,000 trades and these skills that if we skip one more generation are going to be completely 682 00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:21,040 lost and we're not going to you know so I think that this kind of resurgence is so important 683 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:27,880 even just for our own economy itself yeah absolutely and I think really mentally getting 684 00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:32,960 past the fact that yes you are going to be paying a bit more when you shop small and 685 00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:37,440 I think that's part of the problem is you know the Amazons and companies like that have 686 00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:42,200 got the consumer so trained that we're always looking for the best deal and something cheap 687 00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:46,720 and we don't want to pay for shipping and blah blah blah that I think really shifting 688 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:53,240 the focus towards even if it's just gift giving that people shop small that can still support 689 00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:58,760 an entire small own business community right like if people there's birthdays all the time 690 00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:03,480 there's gifts there's corporate gifts like even if it's just the gifting around paying 691 00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:08,560 more for a quality product that you know you're going to be supporting you know another family 692 00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:15,080 like do it to make that change in your in your shopping one more area before you kind 693 00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:23,040 of go to some closing questions in the fire service specifically I love it when I see 694 00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:29,400 entrepreneurship and the reason why is firstly on the days off you've got something completely 695 00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,840 different to focus on you're not going to be awake all night like you would be in the 696 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:37,080 station so you're still going to get a good night's sleep but I think it's also very 697 00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:42,600 healthy because if you get hurt if you get fired if you just decide to retire early 698 00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:49,800 or retire when you hit retirement that transition is so important to go from one sense of purpose 699 00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:54,160 to another and if you've created a business on the side to me that's a beautiful way 700 00:58:54,160 --> 00:59:00,440 to to make a healthy transition what is your perspective on entrepreneurship and the transition 701 00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:06,020 from the military absolutely we actually have a number of vendors that have started their 702 00:59:06,020 --> 00:59:10,640 businesses while they are still in service and the reason that they've done that is for 703 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:15,600 that exact reason they want that transition to be much easier they want to feel like they 704 00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:20,480 have a sense of purpose and that once they leave that they're not just completely lost 705 00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:25,160 and sadly that's sometimes you know what happens which is why there's so many organizations 706 00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:30,160 and different job boards and things like that trying to help really focus on that transition 707 00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:36,360 piece so I think entrepreneurship is such a great route and actually there's I've I recently 708 00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:42,440 have been learning from our vendors that are active duty that there is different things 709 00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:49,240 in place now with each branch that it's not like they're closing off doors to anybody 710 00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:52,680 that does want to be an entrepreneur they're just asking that you know they report that 711 00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:56,680 they do have a business so that way there's no conflict of interest or things like that 712 00:59:56,680 --> 01:00:01,080 but at least it's being encouraged and talked about more because I think at the end of the 713 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:06,360 day it's a creative outlet and that's what I always stress is that you can be really 714 01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:12,040 great at your job and you can serve and you can go through all of this this you know protection 715 01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:16,320 and things that you do for our country but everybody needs a creative outlet no matter 716 01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:21,780 what and from a mental standpoint I think entrepreneurship is such a great way for those 717 01:00:21,780 --> 01:00:28,440 to pursue something they love and to get that joy from giving it to somebody else too. 718 01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:31,640 I think I've heard this from the military and definitely seen it in my you know men 719 01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:35,880 and women in the fire service too a lot of people come away from those professions and 720 01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:41,120 they're like well you know all I was an artillery man so all I have is you know firing guns 721 01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:44,920 and throwing grenades that's all I'm good at or I was a firefighter so I really know 722 01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:50,280 is how to advance a hose or throw a ladder and it's complete rubbish the team you know 723 01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:55,920 the teamwork the working under pressure the problem solving all the other skills we you 724 01:00:55,920 --> 01:01:01,200 know we're a very unique kind of human being and that can be applied in so many ways and 725 01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:05,560 to me a healthy transition if you weave in some sort of service so I love the social 726 01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:09,720 business model for every 10 pairs of shoes I sell another you know one pair of shoes 727 01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:16,400 goes to person X so I think this is another thing about you know the the entrepreneur 728 01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:23,320 space is is empowering us and and exciting the service members or the first responder 729 01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:27,560 professions to challenge themselves and take some of those skills that they've done in 730 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:33,440 uniform and take a leap of faith and try it in a completely different venture. 731 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:40,000 I agree 100% I feel like you know military families have some of and that's just obviously 732 01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:46,800 the side that I know in and out is we've got the grit we've got the strength and we're 733 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:50,880 always problem solving and those are some of the key components of if you can master 734 01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:56,480 that then you've got a very nice foundation for entrepreneurship just because oftentimes 735 01:01:56,480 --> 01:02:01,160 those are some of the hardest things to overcome and we overcome them every single day and 736 01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:07,160 we know what that's like same with the first responder community too so I agree I wish 737 01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:14,280 that more people would kind of dig deeper like you said it's beyond just oh I only know 738 01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:18,920 how to do this or I've been in logistics because trust me if I stayed in that same mindset 739 01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:23,400 even with my career of logistics like I would have never gotten to where I'm at today but 740 01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:29,560 I applied all of the core foundational business skills that I learned into a completely different 741 01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:33,720 market that one I knew nothing about but I knew what impact it was going to have and 742 01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:35,920 I was up for the challenge. 743 01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:40,800 Absolutely well for people listening then how can they shop on Spousely and how can 744 01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:42,960 they become a vendor on Spousely? 745 01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:48,340 Yeah so it's super easy to shop on Spousely just go to Spousely.com you can type it in 746 01:02:48,340 --> 01:02:54,280 with the dash or without the dash google Spousely it'll show up for you and really 747 01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:58,820 encourage everyone to help us continue to spread the word whether you are military or 748 01:02:58,820 --> 01:03:03,760 first responder connected or you're just a supporter everybody is welcome and we would 749 01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:08,560 love every opportunity we get to shout about our community from the rooftops and then if 750 01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:12,880 you're interested in becoming a vendor it's super easy like I said we have both product 751 01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:18,760 vendors and service vendors you just go on to our website click become a vendor button 752 01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:22,740 you'll go through some questions and then you'll go through a verification process with 753 01:03:22,740 --> 01:03:27,840 our partner GovX and once you're approved we're with you every step of the way to get 754 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:34,600 the shop set up and you really the greatest win is not to join a marketplace to think 755 01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:38,280 that you're going to make you know thousands of millions of dollars it's really not about 756 01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:41,920 that it's about the community that you're going to get by your side that's going to 757 01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:43,520 support you on the journey. 758 01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:47,120 Absolutely all right well I would love to get to some closing questions before I let 759 01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:48,840 you go if that's okay. 760 01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:49,840 Sure. 761 01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:54,320 The first one I'd love to ask is there a book or are there books that you love to recommend 762 01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:59,040 it can be related to our discussion today or completely unrelated. 763 01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:03,840 So there's one book that I absolutely love and it's because she's just a powerhouse 764 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:08,680 entrepreneur herself and it's called Jump by Kim Perel and it was it's really all about 765 01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:18,120 taking that jump into starting something because oftentimes that's our you know biggest biggest 766 01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:23,160 wall blocker I like to call it is that you know we're not willing to take the jump into 767 01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,760 what we need to to get to where we want to go. 768 01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:32,480 So I'm much more of a just kind of like podcast listener reader of articles and things that 769 01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:37,040 I come across not so much on the book side which is why I really loved her book. 770 01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,040 Brilliant. 771 01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,480 What about films or documentaries. 772 01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:50,120 Oh let's see there's a number of them I absolutely love I thought the intern was really a fun 773 01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:58,960 business type movie I loved watching the documentary recently about Uber. 774 01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:00,880 I thought that was very interesting. 775 01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:06,400 I forget what it was called super something I forget. 776 01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:10,000 Let's see what else have I watched that was inspiring. 777 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:14,360 I don't know man there's lots of things. 778 01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:19,360 Oh I thought you know this is kind of funny this people probably will be laughing listening 779 01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:24,040 to this but Parent Trap has always been an inspirational movie to me only because I really 780 01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:29,440 thought it was it really is like our life my life personally just of how you know the 781 01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:34,100 husband went off and had created this winery dream of his and then the wife went off and 782 01:05:34,100 --> 01:05:37,920 built this fashion business and they were living completely separate lives and then 783 01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:41,960 they end up coming back together and obviously they have twins but I think there's so many 784 01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:47,340 business nuggets in that of the balance of family pursuing your career and your goals 785 01:05:47,340 --> 01:05:51,360 and finding ways to make it work because they were completely across you know they were 786 01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:56,180 living one in the United States and then one overseas so I think it just speaks volumes 787 01:05:56,180 --> 01:05:58,960 from a fun movie standpoint. 788 01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:03,840 Brilliant all right well then the next question is there a person that you'd recommend to 789 01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:09,060 come on this podcast as a guest to speak to the first responders military and associated 790 01:06:09,060 --> 01:06:11,360 professions of the world? 791 01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:18,680 Yes I will say I think you've got to definitely have my friend Haley the founder of Torch 792 01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:23,960 Warriors on your podcast she just recently also aired on Shark Tank she's a vendor on 793 01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:31,840 Spousley she's a veteran she's all about inspiration building a brand from the ground up but also 794 01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:38,300 really focused on you know female warriors and everything that you know women go through 795 01:06:38,300 --> 01:06:42,120 on the journey I think she'd be a huge inspiration. 796 01:06:42,120 --> 01:06:44,040 Brilliant let's make it happen then thank you. 797 01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:45,040 Okay cool. 798 01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:48,320 All right but then the last question before we make sure everyone knows where to find 799 01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:51,840 you what do you do to decompress? 800 01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:52,840 What do I do to decompress? 801 01:06:52,840 --> 01:07:00,960 Oh wow that's a great question um for me I do a little bit of shopping therapy I have 802 01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:05,880 Sundays dedicated to myself where I literally will just like walk around a store and just 803 01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:09,440 like look at things it's not even that I need to buy a bunch of things so really just like 804 01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:14,920 mentally one removing myself from my house from my office because I'm here every day 805 01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:20,000 and just getting out there I always like to like buy myself lunch so just kind of like 806 01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:24,600 a day to myself I think self-care is very important and that's something that I personally 807 01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:29,800 push off a little too much so Sundays have always kind of been my Monica day. 808 01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,720 Do you do that on your own? 809 01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:35,840 Oh yeah nobody can come with me and my husband knows don't call me and don't ask me any 810 01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:40,280 thing and if one of the twins asks to come they're not allowed to come just because it's 811 01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:44,120 just one of those days I don't even need to pamper myself it's something so simple of 812 01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:50,200 just being in my car listening to music calling a family member going from store to store 813 01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:53,840 and it's not about the money piece of what I'm spending or what I'm going to find it's 814 01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:57,880 more about like I'm just flying by the seat of my pants. 815 01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:02,040 I like to do that once in a while not the shopping so much but you know go get get food 816 01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:07,320 or coffee or whatever on the way and I saw I saw a meme on the internet once and they 817 01:08:07,320 --> 01:08:11,200 said that when you take yourself out for a date it's called master dating. 818 01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:14,920 I thought that was hilarious. 819 01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:18,880 I know it's funny because I never used to like ever think I would go sit at a restaurant 820 01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:23,680 even by myself but when I started traveling for work all the time obviously you find yourself 821 01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:28,700 on the go by yourself in the airport and at restaurants and it was honestly the most eye 822 01:08:28,700 --> 01:08:33,340 opening experience for me because I was like this is so this is so nice it's like literally 823 01:08:33,340 --> 01:08:35,640 a date with yourself. 824 01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:40,760 Now when I had a guy on the show who wrote the book The Introvert's Edge and it was really 825 01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:44,620 interesting because I don't think this is his definition originally I think it comes 826 01:08:44,620 --> 01:08:50,400 from someone in the psychology in the past but the definition of an introvert is that 827 01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:57,160 you can be around people but you draw power from time on your own or time intimate time 828 01:08:57,160 --> 01:09:02,480 with your partner or your family and so I was like oh okay well that explains it because 829 01:09:02,480 --> 01:09:05,480 you know I don't mind being around people but there's a certain time where I just disappear 830 01:09:05,480 --> 01:09:10,680 in a party and I'm gone you know so I was like oh I'm actually an introvert then with 831 01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:15,920 that definition do you draw power from groups or do you think you're a closet introvert 832 01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:17,600 like me? 833 01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:22,980 Well I would normally always say I am like hardcore extremist of an extrovert like yes 834 01:09:22,980 --> 01:09:27,920 I usually draw so much power from groups but I will say over the past few years of being 835 01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:33,920 an entrepreneur I have found myself to lean more towards an introvert at times and I think 836 01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:37,600 it's because you are putting yourself out there so much more than you normally would 837 01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:42,480 because you're trying to spread the word you're networking you're meeting new people and opportunities 838 01:09:42,480 --> 01:09:48,080 that it actually has allowed me to tap into my inner introvert more which is very shocking 839 01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:54,920 and I am a cancer born in July and it always talks about introverts and I'm like am I really 840 01:09:54,920 --> 01:10:00,120 a cancer because I'm an extrovert like I don't really check any of those boxes but I think 841 01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:06,680 at heart I am a homebody because I love the feeling of being in my home with my family. 842 01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:12,200 What was really interesting when he when he described that is there's so many of us that 843 01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:16,500 you know think that we are extrovert or that we're supposed to be extrovert that ultimately 844 01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:23,600 an introvert and so then you think about the social anxiety of being in a bar or a club 845 01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:27,800 a lot of us pregame I know I did I would have a couple of drinks to go out to have a couple 846 01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:32,940 of drinks and then you look back and go oh now it makes sense because actually I'm not 847 01:10:32,940 --> 01:10:36,560 a huge fan of being in the middle of you know and then you look at oh Steve he's the life 848 01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:40,960 of the party and then Steve 10 years later is a raging alcoholic well because again we 849 01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:41,960 did the same thing. 850 01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:48,760 Liquid courage didn't work too much yeah no that's so funny because I am always the life 851 01:10:48,760 --> 01:10:52,960 of the party and I always do love you know having you know a drink to unwind or just 852 01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:57,180 social drink or whatever but I only have two max so even when like I'm like oh yeah let's 853 01:10:57,180 --> 01:11:01,200 go out with my friends and let's go get some drinks it's so funny because they think like 854 01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:05,200 okay like are we like drinking drinking like having a good time I'm like two drinks is 855 01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:10,440 good I'm having a great time have a great day yeah absolutely yeah it's funny but I 856 01:11:10,440 --> 01:11:13,720 think that's it so you as you said you lean more towards the true extrovert but I think 857 01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:20,240 a lot of us you know if once we understand our social makeup then you kind of give yourself 858 01:11:20,240 --> 01:11:23,800 permission to be anxious it's not like I'm scared of being it but it's just that you 859 01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:29,560 know this it is abnormal to be you know in a modern society bar setting for example when 860 01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:34,720 you think about tribal humans only a few thousand years ago so that's something where some of 861 01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:39,560 this self-medication comes in there's nothing wrong with you it's just you haven't identified 862 01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:44,320 the kind of personality that you actually are yeah I think we just continue to learn 863 01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:49,360 more about ourselves as we go on our way on our journey and like I talked about early 864 01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:54,560 on there's just all the different seasons of life and we go through them and every new 865 01:11:54,560 --> 01:12:00,480 decade brings on you know new adjustments as well as prioritizing what matters most 866 01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:05,560 absolutely well very last question then so if people want to reach out to you specifically 867 01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:11,760 where are you online or on social media yeah I'm pretty big on LinkedIn that's the social 868 01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:16,280 platform I think I check the most from a personal and professional standpoint so connect with 869 01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:21,760 me on LinkedIn Monica Fullerton and I'm on Instagram and Facebook as well but LinkedIn 870 01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:26,880 is is my jam I love kind of working in the business piece as well as the the personal 871 01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:32,540 piece there brilliant well I want to say thank you so much it's been you know an unusual 872 01:12:32,540 --> 01:12:37,000 conversation in the best of ways because a lot of people are coming on here talking about 873 01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:41,040 their time in war or you know their their scientific background and mental health or 874 01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:47,040 whatever it is but this is a really important you know conversation to have is that what 875 01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:51,240 certainly the spouses of first responders of military how can they actually forge a 876 01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:55,720 career that they're passionate about alongside their loved one in uniform and then as we 877 01:12:55,720 --> 01:12:59,580 touched on before the transition piece as well so I want to thank you so much for being 878 01:12:59,580 --> 01:13:04,520 so generous with your time and coming on the behind the shield podcast today thank you 879 01:13:04,520 --> 01:13:33,520 so much for having me