I'm extremely excited to announce a brand new sponsor for the Behind the Shield podcast
that is Transcend.
Now for many of you listening, you are probably working the same brutal shifts that I did
for 14 years.
Suffering from sleep deprivation, body composition challenges, mental health challenges, libido,
hair loss, etc.
Now when it comes to the world of hormone replacement and peptide therapy, what I have
seen is a shift from doctors telling us that we were within normal limits, which was definitely
incorrect all the way to the other way now where men's clinics are popping up left,
right and center.
So I myself wanted to find a reputable company that would do an analysis of my physiology
and then offer supplementations without ramming, for example, hormone replacement therapy down
my throat.
Now I came across Transcend because they have an altruistic arm and they were a big reason
why the 7X project I was a part of was able to proceed because of their generous donations.
They also have the Transcend foundations where they are actually putting military and first
responders through some of their therapies at no cost to the individual.
So my own personal journey so far filled in the online form, went to Quest, got blood
drawn and a few days later I'm talking to one of their wellness professionals as they
guide me through my results and the supplementation that they suggest.
In my case specifically, because I transitioned out the fire service five years ago and been
very diligent with my health, my testosterone was actually in a good place.
So I went down the peptide route and some other supplements to try and maximize my physiology
knowing full well the damage that 14 years of shift work has done.
Now I also want to underline because I think this is very important that each of the therapies
they offer, they will talk about the pros and cons.
So for example, a lot of first responders in shift work, our testosterone will be low,
but sometimes nutrition, exercise and sleep can offset that on its own.
So this company is not going to try and push you down a path, especially if it's one that
you can't come back from.
So whether it's libido, brain fog, inflammation, gut health, performance, sleep, this is definitely
one of the most powerful tools in the toolbox.
So to learn more, go to transcendcompany.com or listen to episode 808 of the Behind the
Shield podcast with founder Ernie Colling.
This episode is sponsored by a company I've used for well over a decade and that is 511.
I wore their uniforms back in Anaheim, California and have used their products ever since.
From their incredibly strong yet light footwear to their cut uniforms for both male and female
responders, I found them hands down the best workwear in all the departments that I've
worked for.
Outside of the fire service, I use their luggage for everything and I travel a lot and they
are also now sponsoring the 7X team as we embark around the world on the Human Performance
project.
We have Murph coming up in May and again I bought their plate carrier.
I ended up buying real ballistic plates rather than the fake weight plates and that has been
my ride or die through Murph the last few years as well.
One area I want to talk about that I haven't in previous sponsorship spots is their brick
and mortar element.
They were predominantly an online company up till more recently but now they are approaching
100 stores all over the US.
My local store is here in Gainesville Florida and I've been multiple times and the discounts
you see online are applied also in the stores.
So as I mentioned 511 is offering you 15% off every purchase that you make but I do
want to say more often than not they have an even deeper discount especially around
holiday times.
But if you use the code SHIELD15 you will get 15% off your order or in the stores every
time you make a purchase.
And if you want to hear more about 511, who they stand for and who works with them, listen
to episode 580 of Behind the Shield podcast with 511 regional director Will Ayers.
Welcome to the Behind the Shield podcast.
As always my name is James Gearing and this week it is my absolute honor to welcome on
the show US Army veteran and athlete Jeff Spira.
Now in this conversation we discuss a host of topics from Jeff's journey into the military,
providing security for EOD, losing friends in war, his jarring transition, incarceration,
overcoming addiction, obstacle racing, hormone therapy and so much more.
Now before we get to this incredible conversation as I say every week please just take a moment.
Go to whichever app you listen to this on, subscribe to the show, leave feedback and
leave a rating.
Every single five star rating truly does elevate this podcast therefore making it easier for
others to find.
And this is a free library of over 900 episodes now.
So all I ask in return is that you help share these incredible men and women stories so
I can get them to every single person on planet earth who needs to hear them.
So with that being said, I introduce to you Jeff Spira.
Enjoy.
Well Jeff I want to say thank you so much for taking the time and coming on the Behind
the Shield podcast today.
I'm extremely grateful to be here.
Thank you for inviting me on, sharing your platform with me.
I really appreciate that investment into me and I look forward to the value that we can
bring to people.
Absolutely.
Well very first question, where on planet earth are we finding you today?
I am in Destin, Florida.
So we are in the same state.
Yep, yep, yep.
You're East Coast so like we have a little bit of a time difference as far as like Eastern
time.
Man, you would be surprised how many people they're like the second that you say Florida
they think it's automatically like Eastern Standard Time or whatever.
And I'm like, I know that doesn't change until you get to about Tallahassee.
So I'm still central over here but I'm originally from Louisiana.
So I got into a little bit of trouble in Louisiana and then I needed to change things like people,
places and things.
And then came here and completely turned my life around but it all started my story, my
journey originally started in Louisiana.
Well let's start there.
That's what I like to do is start someone's you know, the very beginning the origin story.
So tell me where in Louisiana you were born and tell me a little bit about your family
dynamic, what your parents did, how many siblings.
Roger that.
So I'm originally from Opelousas, Louisiana and I'm not going to I don't want to say that
I had a rough upbringing or anything like that but there was a lot of violence and I
was around a lot of violence as far as like domestic and stuff like that.
Some of my youngest memories I didn't I didn't have the greatest role model as a father growing
up.
My youngest memories were seeing remembering seeing my dad beat my mom pretty bad.
And that kind of really shattered and fractured my foundation and security and with like feeling
love because when they started to go through like their divorce and things like that, I
became this like tool, right?
Like to hurt the other person and it was like later I was like, man, you start to like kind
of and not that my mom doesn't love me or anything like that but like you start to kind
of see where like manipulation is and stuff like that or whatever and it's like it just
kind of really changes your perspective of like of love or being loved or being valued
and things like that.
My mom did the best she could with what she had.
I just had a really, you know, rough bout with my dad and stuff like that.
But even after even after that, she was in another relationship that didn't last very
long and he became extremely abusive.
And we ended up moving a lot and he started to track us from like location to location.
I remember in being in some of the locations and one of the places I was sitting in the
living room and I see a fist come through a door like the glass pane on the door and
like reaching inside for to like undo the lock.
And then we ended up, you know, from situations like that, we ended up moving again.
And then there was a situation where he came in the house one night and it got pretty violent.
My mom got cut.
Her hand was like cut open.
And then, you know, I get carried out of the house a little while later and, you know,
my mom got taken away in the ambulance and stuff like that or whatever.
And I'm seeing, I see my mom's blood on the walls and stuff like that or whatever.
And your security gets extremely fractured at that point.
You know, like your protector is, you know, being, you know, like I don't want to say
aimed at, but like is being targeted and it's hard to protect, you know, everyone in situations
like that or whatever.
So later on, a little bit later, I really started to struggle with with my like self
confidence and things like that.
And I developed like these like nervous habits where like I was making these noises almost
kind of like I had Tourette's and I would I would started to get picked on and things
like that got bullied a little bit.
I was at a school bounce around schools a lot.
I was at a school and I was made sit on the floor of a bus.
And you know, like one night I went home and I like cried myself to sleep.
The next day I was like, dude, this ends here.
This this is like this is where this stops.
Next day, go go to school.
I'm one of the first people on the bus that evening.
And I remember sitting down and he gets on the bus.
He's like, you know, pick your, you know, catch your spot on the floor.
This is like third or fourth grade.
I can't remember exactly the grade, but it was around third or fourth grade.
He's like, get your ass on the floor where you belong.
I grab my backpack.
I stand up and whenever I get into the aisle, I drop my backpack and I did the only thing
that I had seen and understood as how to gain fire superiority in the situation.
And that is violence.
So I grabbed him by the esophagus and I just start squeezing him.
You know, I got one hand on the back of his his his neck and then the other one, I'm just
squeezing his throat and I'm screaming, I'm going to fucking kill you.
I'm going to fucking kill you over and over and over.
And what seemed like felt like forever probably lasted all of about like 10 seconds.
But you know, you've got a third or fourth grader that's already developing this does
extreme desire to like hurt people, you know, through what they've seen.
You know what I'm saying?
So I think I started attending therapy after that.
And that's, you know, I mean, therapy is an interesting, an interesting thing.
But like, my security was just so jacked up and all I'd ever seen was was violence.
You know, or like how to handle people.
And you know, I'll say that it's like the way that my father showed me how to be a man
is by showing me all the things of like what not to do, how not to treat people, how not
to treat women.
And even like later, like I always wanted my like my father's approval, validation
or whatever.
I think we we crave that as men, you know what I'm saying?
So we crave that fatherly love, that desire to be validated by another man.
You know, our father is extremely important in our life.
And like I chased that for a long time.
And never I don't think, you know, I never really got it, but I had to come to terms
with that and and how to validate my myself through surrounding yourself by the right
people.
That was an instance.
I'm kind of I jumped all over the place.
But there was an instance where my mom tried to leave was leaving my dad and or wanted
to leave my dad and she comes out the house, the back of the house with a firearm and I'm
crawling on the ground and my dad picks me up and puts me in front of him like a shield.
And he tells her, shoot now, you know, and it's like when you go through a situation
like that, how am I supposed to ever take value for my own life whenever my protector
or the person that's supposed to protect me.
Has no value for my own life.
You know, and I and I should have said that earlier before I got to like the validation
part or whatever, because then it would probably have made more sense.
So we'll fast forward, like the bus situation, all that stuff took place.
I get I was I was extremely involved in in sports growing up baseball track in high school
in baseball.
And then I moved to my dad's my senior year because I wanted to be closer to my friends
and stuff like that.
And my dad found some weed in my headboard, which wasn't too hard to find.
It smelled extremely loud, but I was removed.
I was removed from the baseball team.
And so there there went like any hopes or dreams to go into college as far as like getting
a scholarship or anything like that.
Right.
Well, there was an army recruiter at school and I ended up running into him.
I'm like, you know, I wanted to go to college, which I've never used.
I've never used those benefits.
The whole one of the main reasons that I signed up for the army was was to to go to college
and I never I never accessed I never accessed that.
But so I signed up March 13th of 2003, which is 13 days after my birthday.
And I dated a girl all through high school.
And then I get go to basic training.
I come back.
I get back.
So I leave in October of 2003.
I come back.
It's like February of 04.
I get married May 9th of 04.
I got deployed May 15th.
And then.
You know, I was infantry and combat engineer.
And then the job, our job as a as a unit was to do EOD escort and security as well as route
clearance missions while deployed to Baghdad, Iraq from 04 to 05 is 18 month deployment.
I did 12 months boots on ground.
We had a little bit of a train up mobilization, all those things you go through to prepare.
And man, I'm extremely grateful for those situations and what the the bonds that I developed
out there.
But when you return home and you've lost some friends out there and stuff like that, I was
National Guard.
So the people that we were deployed with were all extremely close.
And like we grew up together.
We played sports together.
You know, everybody's family.
So like it's a and not not taking anything from any other, you know, anybody that loses
anybody.
But whenever you have people that you've been close to, like for that long, you know, their
families and so it's so hard whenever you come back to see their families and then they
ask you about like situations and stuff like that.
Or you know, and it's just like.
I went into such a state of hiding after I got back.
Or you say hiding.
Isolation.
And my idea of coping.
Was substances was the cocaine meth, like anything to help me like feel different than
what I was.
And coping through use of substances is not coping.
You're just prolonging the healing.
If you know, or like prolonging the possibility of healing, you know, because oftentimes we
develop victim mindset through these things and like the why me and like, you know, the
Survivors Guild or or whatever.
Oh, it should have been me, you know, like all those things like played heavy, put heavy
weight on my shoulders with with those situations.
You know what I mean?
So.
Coming back, the transition was extremely difficult.
And then like.
So I spent 13 years in and out of incarcerations, institutions, psych wards, battling suicide.
I was a fugitive for five and a half years on the run.
And man, there's not a single part of any of that from childhood to then.
Now that I regret, I don't regret it.
Like I learned so much through the course of all that, especially like with mental health.
And you know, like.
When I got released, I didn't do a long stint in jail because like a lot of the charges
have reached their like statute of limitations by the time I got picked up and they weren't
anything like.
Outlandishly crazy, they were like.
I mean, it was a lot of stuff, but I can't and I can't even remember the whole list of
charges, but it was it was a couple of pages of stuff that had accumulated over that period
of five years.
But when there were a couple of situations that took place that were extremely like transformational
while I was incarcerated that last time I did a three, it was like a six month.
Conversation, the last one, and that was almost five years ago.
And there was a conversation that took that took place with my grandmother and she said
she's she's gone now, but she said.
If you could just get it right one time, you could quit coming back to this place.
We were on a video call and I was like.
I've got to quit letting the people that believe in me down.
You know what I'm saying is I'm doing a disservice to to my family and the people that love me
and the people that that know my potential and what I'm capable of.
And I know my potential and what I'm capable of.
And that was one.
Then there was another where.
I accidentally got shipped to another facility like, oh, how does this happen?
It happens more times than, you know, they'd probably like to admit.
But so I ended up getting shipped to a facility.
And just a couple of days after I was there, I got beat pretty bad by a guard
and lost vision in my eye for a while.
I got I got hit with some of that.
That's that that lovely spray that they had or whatever.
And I mean, it ate me up.
And then I got thrown into a hot shower, which really helped to activate it
and spice things up a little bit.
But one of the things that I said.
After that, like this is whenever I really sort of take like ownership
and accountability of the life that I was living and the changes that I needed to make.
To become a better me, to become a better version of myself.
And that was if I wasn't living the shit life that I was living before,
I never would have put him in the position for those things that happened to me.
You know, life is all about choices,
and it's due to these choices that we make the consequences that they carry.
So I was one. And then so the third thing.
That was extremely important for me to recognize.
And this is just another part of ownership is like when I was up for my sentencing.
The judge offered me a hundred dollar bond.
And probation.
And I was like, you know, this is the first time since.
Getting back from Iraq, this is the longest I've ever been sober.
People were breaking into my house, stealing everything I had.
And if I got released at that point in time, I was just going to go out
and like wreak havoc. You know what I'm saying?
I was still in a bit of a vengeful or spiteful mindset.
And I wanted to change that.
And I said, you know, I would prefer just sitting here.
What does that look like?
And he said, man, this isn't his words verbatim, but they're very close.
He said, you know, in all my in all my time of being a judge,
I've never seen anybody turn out going home.
And so they ended up giving me six months credit for time served
and then dropped the felony to misdemeanors, gave me gave me a chance.
You know what I'm saying? Gave me a second chance at life, really.
And I took that.
I like to say I took that and ran with it and I never used again.
But whenever I got released.
I did start to struggle.
I did relapse a couple more times after that.
I didn't get in any kind of trouble or anything like that.
Typically, I would like literally just isolate and hide and then.
Be extremely angry with myself and then
my last relapse was.
So I set out at the beginning of.
2023 to run across the United States and go go after
go after a world record, which for males was 21 or 22 days of doing a 50K a day.
I did 85 days.
At 32 miles a day and went down a heat stroke on day 85.
I still tried to run for another another 10 days after that.
But I was I was basically dying.
You know, it just wasn't working out so well for me, so that ended.
And then I got so in my head about that.
About that and one of the things that is important, like
I was identifying myself by this goal.
I felt like a failure because I didn't achieve the goal.
I didn't make it across the United States.
I didn't do this. I didn't do that.
But look at how what I what I failed to realize was that was a benchmark.
It was another lesson.
I did that. I did that run extremely premature.
I really wasn't ready for it physically.
I didn't have the team for it.
But I wasn't I wasn't scared to fail.
But whenever I failed.
I identified like my mindset got jacked up.
And probably part of the reason with that was the amount of cortisol
that was released in my in my system and in my mental health just like plummeted.
And then I wanted to run away from my problems and then I relapse again.
And then that went on for about like about four months.
And that got me to a state of homelessness,
which I've been I battled homelessness for like.
The last three months recently got me recently got an apartment, got my.
Got my feet back on the ground.
I work relentlessly at, you know, getting my head back on the ground.
Getting my head back above water and stuff like that.
I'm not going to quit, you know, saying that.
And the thing behind the run wasn't.
About the world record, because even though I I broke.
The 21 to 22 days consecutive days of doing a 50K,
I didn't even submit the paperwork.
It was never about it was never about the world record, you know,
in my transition.
And everything and going through like the VA for the disability
and stuff like that and the things that have taken place.
I started to identify by some of these injuries and like what you can't do.
And sometimes what you can't do or what you're not supposed to do
is every reason why you should continue to keep doing that,
because when you get away from those things.
That you should be doing.
Or that you love is like you literally start aging five times faster.
Everything starts to hurt 10 times worse.
Everything starts to like just put you on this downward spiral,
you know, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, all these things, you know.
Yeah, friggin.
And then so.
When I talk to Brendan at Transcend,
and then they helped me get my like my like my blood work done.
The foundation helped me get my blood work done, Transcend Foundation,
and then got me, you know, the protocols that I needed to,
you know, with with to help me start to get back into a better mental place,
back on track, get my levels straight, get everything back into alignment
so I can get better sleep, that way I can feel better mentally, physically.
That way I can start doing.
You know, recovering, repairing and then like prepare for what's next, you know.
I think that was one of our one of the initial conversations that we had.
We talked about Transcend and like what they what they do and how they,
you know, helped you to.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
Well, I want to I want to go back initially to the start of 9 11.
So you've had this turbulent childhood.
I mean, I want to unpack some of that as we get further on, because I mean, you're
a child's reality, their feeling of safety, security, safety, safety,
feeling of safety, security, love is obviously based on the four walls
of the homes that they grew up in.
And that can be nurturing and loving or it can be terrifying for some young kids.
But walk me through the 9 11 experience.
You know, how old were you and what was that like through your eyes?
I was in high school, so 9 11.
I was a sophomore, I was a sophomore in high school and I was in.
I was in chemistry.
I remember that everything literally just stopped and they put that
they put that on the news and I was like.
What the hell is going on?
You know what I mean? Like, you know, you're angry, you're upset.
You got all these people that are.
Getting hurt, killed, losing their families, you know, massive.
I don't know, man, I just.
I didn't know I didn't know what to think, how to feel.
Other than angry, upset, you know, like you feel helpless.
You know, like, what do you do?
How do you combat terrorism and like what's going on in life in these
in these situations? And, you know, also, I took my ass bad that year
because they were like.
This is what you're going to need to go into the military, you know,
to to to do, and I was like, you know, I went and took that.
And obviously, whenever I signed up, I didn't have to take it again, but
my scores were high enough to to be able to get well.
You know, whenever you sign up for the infantry, I think
you probably have a as bad score one.
They let you in.
No, I'm kidding. But.
The experience, you know, everybody's talking, everybody was talking about it.
Everybody's talking about it.
Everybody's upset, everybody's enraged and, you know, you want to.
You want to do something about it, but like, what can you do?
Like, I've got two years before I can even, you know, do anything about the situation.
So what about the the actual career into the military?
Were you already thinking about that?
And if so, were there any mentors in your life?
Because obviously, you know, it sounds like the father figure had been
less than ideal for you.
Did you meet any other male or female figures, teachers, et cetera,
that kind of led you into the military?
No, I mean, my dad was in in the army a long time ago.
But I mean, it wasn't like he didn't have some kind of.
Crazy.
It's really interesting to even talk about that, because
there's so many times that conversations are coming up and then.
My dad would be like, oh, yeah, well, I'm going to be a
military man, and I'm like, oh, yeah, well, I did this in the military
and stuff like that, and I'm like.
It didn't go anywhere.
He was like, I don't know. Anyway, like.
I had a cousin that fought in Desert Storm or was deployed to Desert Storm.
He was in the Air Force.
And then I had another cousin that was in the Marines and.
I don't.
Like they didn't influence my I don't want to say they
influenced my decision in any kind of way.
You know, my family was always like, you know, they're they're always super
supportive of the things that as far as like on my mom's side and stuff like that
or whatever, because I don't I didn't know a ton of my family off my dad's side, but.
They were always super supportive
and they were always like really scared any time any kind of slight
conflict came up, but I know whenever I signed my paperwork and then.
I almost immediately after
getting back from basic training, I was getting we got the orders to to get deployed.
And, you know, we had a little get together and they were like,
you know, do whatever you got to do to come back home and we'll deal with it.
Whenever you get back, I don't think anybody was ready for the chaos
that was coming with the downward spiral whenever I caught whenever I returned, you know.
And I didn't know what PTS was.
I didn't know what TBI was.
I didn't know what any of these things like the weight that any of this would carry.
I didn't know, you know.
I didn't know that anything was really like wrong with me, you know.
You know that there were so much stress that went on like in in in that deployment.
Like my mom had a we have my little brother.
We don't take that the wrong way.
Oh, my God. That sounds so bad.
It's like, oh, where are you from? Lower Alabama?
I was kidding. But
fricking so my mom, my mom had my little brother and he had
he was diagnosed with cancer like right before leukemia, right before I left to go.
So she's extremely stressed thinking, you know, like, what the hell am I going to do?
Like I could be I'm faced with the possibility of losing both my sons.
You know, I have a combat M.O.S. of being a combat engineer.
And the job that we had as far as like working alongside with EOD
and doing route clearance, they're extremely like chaotic jobs, you know.
And so. Whenever
that was also going on a couple of months after I left for my deployment, my
my wife at the time gets pregnant for one of my friends.
Clichy like typical, typical.
I say typical, but like typical military situation, right?
Like, I don't know, you know, like Jody's Jody's are everywhere.
But. So whenever I ended up coming back on a leave
and I spent the majority of the leave, either drunk.
On cocaine or in the attorney's office, getting a divorce.
So, you know, that was that was my two weeks of R&R.
And then I ran while I was on R&R, I ran into one of the guys I was deployed with.
His brother.
And, you know, like I said, we're extremely close to the family and stuff like that.
And grew up together, played baseball together, all these things. And.
He said, hey, man, whenever you see John, tell him I love him.
We miss him and we can't wait for him to come home.
I got back off a leave.
And the second then I saw John, I ran into him in the
the chow hall and.
A dining facility, I guess you could say same thing.
And he you know, I gave him a hug, told him that Brian loved him,
miss him, gave him a message from the family or whatever.
And it was like less than two weeks later, he was killed in action, him
and two other guys, John Reed,
Christopher Ramsey and Michael Evans, three people.
And one day in our in our New York New Roads unit.
So I was I was a rough that was a tough day for, you know,
for everybody and like you hear the call come over the thing that.
This is going on or whatever.
And this is one of the situations because like that was extremely close to home.
Those people live in the same town that that I grew up in.
And it was just.
Like the.
Like I said, man, I friggin isolated and I never wanted to be in that town,
not because of anything other than.
I just didn't want to think about it.
You know, and like I just left and just really never.
Never kind of never went back. You just kind of want to like leave that,
leave that shit behind you.
But, you know, the drugs and all those things like started to really take over
my life and.
I don't know, man, that's like.
Coping the wrong way.
Coping or trying to trying to cope the wrong way and then like
developing that lifestyle.
Of, you know.
I told my like I went to this retreat, not a trip, it's not a retreat, the pursuit
walking with walking in truth ministries.
And actually, Cody Gandy sponsored me on this.
And then I met Josh Strasburg out there and JP now.
And this was such a life changing experience for me with
with that situation, with that pursuit.
And it was investing in my my spirit, you know, into my spirituality
and my relationship with Jesus Christ and stuff like that.
But there were a couple of things out there.
That were extremely impactful that like kind of changed, changed the way
that I think and the way that I more like the change, change the way that I felt
like almost like gave me some closure.
And there was a thing that we did, it was one of the last last nights there.
And they do a thing called a father's blessing.
I'm not going to be able to say it verbatim, but JP did it for me.
And, bro, like I would if I even got to feel myself like
getting all emotional about it now, man, it was such a powerful thing.
It gave me like closure.
It gave me like, you know, this
feeling of of of of being loved and things like that.
And it's I'm extremely grateful for that situation.
I don't know how I even got on that. But.
Walking in truth ministries, man, that friggin it was done in Amarillo, Texas.
Extremely powerful experience.
If anybody's doubting or, you know, trying to grow their relationship
with Jesus Christ, powerful place to go.
Solid place to go. Solid man. You know, there's a man, a man and a women's version.
And it was life changing for me.
JP and Cody have both been on the podcast, both incredible men.
I want to get to your transition story, but just before we do,
I want to throw a question at you that I do all members of the armed
services that have seen combat.
We get such a polarizing view of war on our television.
Screens, you either get the kill them all, let God sort them out.
Ra ra ra. Or you get the they're all baby killers.
And in the middle of the men and women, arguably children that we send out,
you know, with our flag on their shoulder to, you know, protect this country
and arguably protect the indigenous people on those countries.
So regardless of the politics, because as we touched on, you witnessed 9 11,
but you found yourself in a completely different country.
Regardless of the politics, was there a moment that you realized
that there were some horrific people out there that you needed to protect people from?
Absolutely.
When you go into a country where these people.
Or like literally taking anything
that they can. To kill you.
And let's go even a step further.
Let's remove killing us out of the equation.
When you're going to take your own people and cut them open and fill them up
with explosives.
To hurt you. Or other people or whatever.
Absolutely, you need to protect your people.
You know what I'm saying? And and. You know.
Man, we did these things.
We did some PBAs, post blast analysis out there,
and it's where you go and basically kind of conduct an investigation.
With the EOD teams and stuff like that.
And the smells that come with that.
Are pretty interesting, you know, like.
I didn't have to handle any of the stuff like firsthand.
I was a gunner, so I didn't have to get out of the truck in those situations
or whatever.
But being around it and knowing that you're on site
where people are no longer with us.
And I think that's the most important thing.
I think that's the most important thing.
No longer with us. When we would do our job on on like route clearance,
it would affect you whenever you would have to.
I don't want to speak. I'm not generalizing.
I don't want to speak for everybody else.
When you do that job on route clearance and your job is to clear the roadways,
to protect other soldiers and civilians
to be able to safely travel the roads.
And then you go to something where something like this is detonated,
whether it's in the ground, whether it's a V bed, vehicle born ID, whatever.
That was another thing that I struggled with was like, I failed at my job.
You know, so.
There's like.
My thing wasn't with.
We're going to say, quote unquote, killing bad dudes.
Right. And I wasn't I didn't do anything like whatever, like.
I'm not here to talk about that.
And you know, that stuff or whatever.
But like, that's not where the trauma comes.
Like, there's no trauma.
I don't want to say there's no trauma that comes from that.
But that's not the problem.
The problem was seeing people destroyed.
You know what I'm saying? Or like being on site
and knowing that your brothers aren't going home to their families.
Brothers, sisters, whatever, you know.
Aren't going to be able to go home to their families. That's.
That's what like.
A lot of.
Negative, you know, like.
Self. Thoughts of self come in, you know, like negative thoughts about like,
man, I failed at doing this.
Was I not vigilant enough? Did I miss this or whatever?
And it probably got put on after you went through.
You know, the possibility that's like how you can kind of justify it.
But it's also then there's the accountability part of like, I want to
you want to take you want to take accountability of everything.
You know what I'm saying? Like everything's my fault, you know.
Mm hmm. Well, just to kind of add to that, I've talked about this a lot as a paramedic
firefighter paramedic for 14 years.
I never saved a single cardiac arrest.
And so people like, you know, is it the horrible stuff that you've seen that bothers you?
And it's not. It's the people you couldn't save.
It's not the images.
It's the people that you couldn't save.
The images, it's the cries of the family that are left behind.
You know, that's what I wouldn't say haunts me.
But that's what, you know, is the worst part of my experience as a paramedic.
So it sounds like it's the same kind of thing.
It's it's then, you know, that feeling of, you know, I didn't do enough,
even though, as you said, that IED could have been placed after you passed.
And, you know, as we talk about in medicine, we're not God.
We don't get to choose who lives or dies.
We get to do our job well or poorly.
But outside of that, you know, it's not up to us to save everyone.
But when you pour your heart and soul into protecting or saving,
when you lose someone, it's literally the polar opposite of your very mission.
So it's jarring.
And would you so so.
I read this book and I can't remember the name of it, but it was it was about PTSD.
And it's like whenever your moral compass is fucked with.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, and then you have like this training that you're supposed to do this or that or whatever.
And I feel like that's worth saying, like you just said, the same thing or whatever.
It's like it's not so much the chaos of the situation,
but it's whenever like you have an opportunity that you could possibly quote unquote,
like you're not God. Right.
But then they put you or I would say they.
But you have a job where like you kind of are.
I'm not saying that you are God.
Right. Like I'm not. That's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying, like when you get put in the when you can save or take a life,
you're putting on the shoes of God, so to speak.
You know. And.
Those are some those are some those are some heavy shoes,
you know, because we aren't God.
We that's that's not who we are.
But generally, whenever you're signing up for these things and to do these jobs,
the service work and stuff like that, you're signing up to do good.
You're not signing up to do harm.
You're signing up for service and protection.
You know, what is the most fulfilling feeling?
What is the most fulfilling thing out the feeling out there?
And that's like acts of service is one of them is like,
I know that whenever I help someone, even it making introductions with people,
whenever I see people connect.
I feel good.
And whenever I see them thriving off of that connection,
it's just like it makes me smile even bigger because I like I like to see people win.
I like to see people do good.
I like to see people advance their life, advance their relationships,
advance in business, whatever it is, you know, and it's just it's
service work is is powerful.
In all aspects, not just like it doesn't have to be extreme,
even down to like putting the buggy up at the store.
It boils down to be a good person.
You know, like from the extreme, who would bring it, we can dumb it down a little bit.
Like I like to put the buggies up at the store.
I do, too. I don't record it.
I don't need a pat on the back.
They're going to post it on social media, bro.
Like I'm not going to frickin record it and then post it in my stories.
You know, and I was with I was with somebody a while back and
was at the store and
I see him leave a buggy, like take this stuff out.
I'm like.
You know, leave it right there.
OK, cool. I get out the car and I go and grab the buggy,
and then I walk across the parking lot, go put the buggy back.
I'm like, do be a good, be a good human.
You know, like.
But then that that kind of that influence of the buggy,
then that that kind of that influence of of me doing that.
There were other situations down that I had been to the store with them.
And guess what?
Eventually, they started putting their buggy back.
I was like.
So why did you put the buggy back?
Well, if I didn't put the buggy back, you would have went back
and then did it and I was ready to go.
It's like.
So the way that we act and the thing that we do
is influence the people around us.
And I tried to.
Everybody around me, in my opinion, is better than me.
I like to be around people that are constantly striving
and constantly searching for more that are selfless, that are generous,
that are kind.
They choose to be kind, you know, like it's.
Kindness is a choice, you know, and all these things are choices.
We can choose to get better.
We can choose to get worse.
There is no in-between.
Every day, you're either getting better or you're getting worse, you know?
And.
Those are the things like being selfless has helped me
a lot, like, you know, if I'm feeling down.
But you hold the door open for somebody.
It's a simple act like someone's coming behind you and just.
Holding the door open, that simple, let somebody else walk out first.
I take pride in like not walking past trash on the ground.
There's just these little things that like.
Not everybody does it, and that's part of the reason.
And it goes back to.
I like to do it because other people don't.
World would be a lot better place and more people worked in the dark.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I don't do things for a pat on my back.
I just do it because I want to be a good human.
You know what I'm saying?
It makes me feel good picking up trash.
You know what I'm saying? It makes me feel good picking up trash on the ground.
Well, somebody else was a shit human, so I'm going to be a good human.
I'm trying to zero sum that out.
You know what I'm saying? Like.
Well, speaking of that, I wanted the other half of the the question
when it came to when you were actually in combat,
is we never hear as well about the kindness and compassion
of the indigenous people of our men and women in uniform.
It's never really reported.
So what are some of the times that you remember that really kind of,
you know, resonating you're you're over there, you know, protecting,
obviously, this EOD crew.
But talk to me about kindness and compassion that you witnessed.
Man, you know.
I have a hard time remembering like there's been so much trauma,
like I have a hard time remembering a ton of stuff from the deployment period.
But. There were some.
There were these kids that would bring us.
Tea. Every day, and I can't remember the kind of tea,
but it was like warm, it was super sweet.
We got this like.
Break for a little while, and they they put us on.
They took us off a mission for a little while and they and.
I was on this tower and these kids would come up
like every day and bring like tea to us at night.
Or it wasn't it was it was like before dark, like we go.
I don't I can't remember the exact shift, but like right before right
before the sun would go down, these kids would come up and like bring us,
bring us tea.
And. They would, you know, bullshit around with this,
bring us DVDs and just kind of like cut up and play and play soccer like.
Throw the ball back and forth and stuff like that or whatever, you know.
And it's just really cool to see the innocence in in kids, but that as far as.
As far as out in the in the town, like when we went on mission,
I didn't have a whole ton of like intimate engagement with people because this
when we leave.
Like nobody can come near us.
You know what I'm saying?
Like you have to keep this like cord or cord on everything.
Blocked off and keep people far away because of because of the danger zone
and stuff like that.
So I didn't get a ton of like super intimate engagements and not with not with live people.
But as far as like those situations with the kids, the kids were were fun to
engage with and and have a good time with.
You know, beautiful.
I've heard so many different stories and, you know, everyone's, you know, is obviously
it might be some of the people they work with.
It might be the the military veterinary surgeons that are treating local animals.
But this is something that we need to hear the human beings that we send over
there in a uniform, you know, some some horrors, but also some some beautiful
moments as well. And it might be as simple as just interacting with children over
a chai tea or whatever it is.
Yeah, the interpreters were super, super cool.
You know, I mean, whenever they're obviously they're trying to do good for their country.
And I mean, even like they were so good, like they would bring us and that was OK.
So I did have.
Pretty decent.
And I mean, as far as like through interpreters and stuff like that or whatever,
like they would bring us bread and stuff like that.
And that was that was super cool.
And then.
Like share, share different foods with us and stuff like that or whatever.
I mean, hell, they could have poisoned me for, you know, like they'd bring food
and it's like, you know, oh, all right, let's dig in.
You know what I'm saying? Like you just trusted them, you know, based on like
these guys are going with you or they're around you and they're willing to give
their life for you. So you just, you know, you trust them, you know, even like with
the coalition.
Well, you kind of touched on your transition story already, you know, you
you come from this kind of fractured home initially, you find yourself in the
military with a tribe, with a purpose, losing some of your friends that you grew
up with. You come out the other end and like so many people, a lot of the things
that were healing are now taken away again.
I think that's why if we don't focus on early life and the mental health of our
responders and military personnel, we're not going to be able to do that.
So if we don't focus on early life and the mental health of our responders and
military, we're missing a big part of the conversation.
You talked about addiction, you talked about homelessness and incarceration,
and obviously listening to your story, it's been a kind of roller coaster ride
of successes and falling off the wagon and then getting back on again.
So as you kind of pan out this track, what were the things that worked?
What were the moments that led to the self-sabotage at times?
The things that led to the self-sabotage in every situation always had something
to do with substances and a victim mentality.
Anytime that I started to feel sorry for myself, anytime that like my language
is not good enough, I can't or like these things or failing at goals and stuff
like that and then identifying myself and then go, oh, if I get this, then I'm
going to be this or if I get that, then I can do that or whatever.
And forgetting that goals are just benchmarks.
You either hit them or you don't.
You know what I'm saying?
It's just a piece to it's just a part of the piece.
It's just a step.
It's just a stepping stone.
It's like every it's like, oh, I'm going to get this goal and then like, what next?
Well, it's just a benchmark.
It's already you're already on in the next.
I'll celebrate that.
And so it would start with like,
if I would not hold the discipline, not hold the line, would just maybe be taking
a shot of tequila or be like, oh, I'm just going to have one drink at lunch.
And then I started to feel like a failure.
I sort of feel like I was not, you know, staying on the path.
Like you can't beat a sober mind.
Like I just I find that for myself, I feel like I'm not going to be able to
me.
When I stay away from substances, I'm my best person.
You know, like if if you're drinking, even if it's like, OK, like
I think about this.
Whenever somebody says, I've had a crazy day, I've had a hectic day.
I'm going to go have a cocktail.
What are you running from?
Be glad that you made it through a crazy day.
You just got better.
You just got stronger.
You just learned something.
And you just maybe you expanded your capacity for what you're capable of.
Now you can get some rest because once you consume that cocktail,
you're about to you're just you're jacking with your sleep.
Your heart rate, your blood pressure, you're going to affect your recovery.
You don't get, you know, like,
oh, there's just no benefits to drinking.
There's no benefit to substances.
They don't make you better and they just make you worse.
And so that was one of the things that like I've really started to.
Realize and then like through working programs and stuff like that,
like no matter what, I'm not going to use.
No matter what, I'm not going to pick up for the simple fact of like,
it's not going to solve anything.
If anything, it's only going to cloud my judgment and and and hinder.
My opportunity to get better.
Things that worked for me were.
Community showing up to events, being selfless.
And so like.
When you embrace the task at hand
and like anything and you don't run from it and you face it
and you go through it, you become better, you become, you know,
smarter, stronger and better because of it.
And then sharing the knowledge that you get
from that with other people.
When I first started sharing my story.
Or like just things that I was going through, it was so selfish.
I didn't know what the hell I was doing, actually.
I initially like I knew that I wanted to do better in life.
And I felt like I didn't want to be like, I'm not going into politics, but.
I didn't want to be like one of these politicians
that had all these like skeletons in their closet.
Like if I started to do good, I didn't want people to be like, oh, yeah,
but he's a fucking junkie and he's a drug dealer and he's like this.
And he's like, you know.
You know, whatever.
And so I initially started sharing my story.
I initially started sharing these things.
To to admit my faults first.
Although it is like, so that's another thing
that's like really helped me is being able to.
Be self aware.
Be aware of my surroundings, be aware of my mindset,
be aware of like what's going on.
And I had no idea what I was doing.
I just knew that I wanted to be better.
And then by sharing this, I was just trying all I was doing
was trying to rob people of the opportunity to hurt me.
Because throughout my life, people have taken things that have happened
and thrown them in my face.
To like try and bring me down, right?
Some, you know, whenever you go and you're the first to admit
that you're in the wrong or at fault, the quicker that you can come to a solution.
So that's a major part of like, you know, that's
that has to do with keeping your ego in check.
And so that's a major, that's a major thing for me is keeping,
keeping that ego in check and being able to go first and say, hey, man.
I'm a little jacked up right now or I was wrong about this.
And I'm wrong a lot.
I don't like to I don't like to be wrong, but I'm wrong.
I'm wrong quite often.
I make a ton of mistakes.
You cannot fear failure.
It's going to happen.
You cannot fear failure. It's going to happen.
We're going to fail way more than we succeed.
But the lessons from that and then taking those lessons, taking those failures,
even if you don't know what the lesson from the failure is, being able to expose
it and shine light on it.
When you put light on dark, like it, it makes it go away.
I don't want to say it makes it go away, but you can.
That's how you find another perspective.
That's how you find the power in it, find the knowledge in it and everything else.
When you were going through addiction, you know, incarceration, even homelessness.
What were the barriers to you getting back on track?
And the reason I ask this, for example, drug prohibition has driven addicts
into the shadows.
It's empowered criminals selling to people with addiction, you know,
homelessness.
A lot of times we're ushering people out of one jurisdiction into another
So there's an absence of empathy at the moment, the way we look at a lot of these
issues, which I think then just further drowns the people that are already drowning.
It pushes them further into the water.
What, if any, you know, challenges did you find?
You know, I'm sure there must have been times where you wanted to get clean,
want to get back on the straight and narrow, wanted to clear up, you know,
your legal problems that you had.
Were there any things with this lens that you have now that you're trying to
clear up, you know, the lens that you have now looking back that if change
would set people that were struggling out for success rather than spiraling
downwards?
One of the major things was like the incarcerations and the addiction and
stuff like that were the second that I would get out and you have these
court dates and stuff like that.
You get scared.
Once you go into the system, it's so hard to get out of it.
You know what I'm saying?
And then so it keeps you in a state of constantly.
Keeping that vicious cycle alive, you know what I'm saying?
Like you. The crazy part about it is like in.
In all reality, only 25% of people ever break the mold of the system or
addiction or whatever.
You know what I'm saying? Like it's hard, but it's just as hard.
It's a paradox.
It's just as hard to stay sober as it is.
To not, you know, they both suck.
I don't want to say they don't they don't both suck.
It doesn't suck.
But they're both hard like breaking addiction is hard.
There's pain that comes with that.
There's like the stagnant non growth in your mind that takes place.
Like it's not developing.
It's like causing harm to it and your organs and everything else your mindset.
The barriers for like with the addiction was, you know.
How am I going to be able to?
Like I was I'm super introverted.
I don't really like being around like a ton of people
and drugs were drugs and alcohol and stuff like that were my way to even
even now, like if I go to listen to music.
At a scene or something like I like want to hide in the corner
because I don't want anybody to talk to me, not because I don't
just like people.
I just want to just go and just kind of like enjoy myself.
I don't typically go anywhere to socialize.
I don't go anywhere just because I want to like have conversations.
I want to go, you know, unless like I'm supposed to be meeting somebody
there like I'm not going there because I want to like hang out with a group
of people like that's not my thing.
I don't like going out.
I don't like, you know, like the only time I ever went out was
whenever I was highly intoxicated shouldn't have been on the road
and loaded on meth, you know, like
and even whenever I was selling drugs, I still didn't want to be around
a ton of people.
More people you're around, the easier it is to get popped.
I wanted to hide and.
Like also with that is, you know, like.
Things just don't feel the same, you know, like, you know,
you have to go through a period of like that adjustment
and it's like, what is this adjustment going to be like?
Because I remember what how I felt before I started using drugs
and not the drug made me feel any better
because it's actually kind of miserable, especially after a while of doing them.
They don't carry the same high.
It's not it's not fun.
It's not, you know.
Oftentimes the people around you are not not the best people all the time.
You know what I'm saying?
They're not and not that everybody's bad.
It's not that everybody's bad.
It's like what are going to be my who am I going to hang out with?
Like the close people that like the people that I had around me during that period.
I'm like, I'm not going to be able to hang out with them anymore.
Like, I'm not going to have any friends, you know, like at all.
And as anti social as I am.
The few people that I would hang out with, I wanted to be around,
you know what I'm saying?
Like and then when you have to start over like that's a little bit.
I don't want to say it's depressing, but like once but
I slowly but surely started to find some new people by getting uncomfortable.
And going places and doing things that would improve me.
Like I never would have done a run group or anything like that.
And you know, like I started to meet people around here,
but like that was how I started to kind of meet people in in Destin was like
I was going to a run group and I hate running.
People think that, you know, like, oh, you ran across, you know, like
you ran, you do all this running and stuff like that.
You love running. I'm like, I fucking despise running.
I hate running with a passion.
I have amputated muscles out of my leg.
I paralysis in my foot.
I have a rod in my left leg.
I don't like running.
Running is not fun for me.
But you know, when I was in my addiction.
And I was a fugitive and I would go and get drugs and I would sell drugs.
It was by any means necessary to do what I was doing.
It was necessary to do whatever it took to do this, to that,
to accomplish this mission, to whatever.
If I could invest so much into negativity and destroy in my life,
what would my life look like if I put that same energy into rebuilding it
and to rebuilding myself into rebuilding relationships into, you know,
investing in other people?
Who could I help? How many lives could I save?
Who like what good could I do?
Because I wasn't nobody's meant to live that way.
We weren't created to live like that.
And, you know, that's why I'm all the shit, all the chaos,
all the whatever that happens in life.
I find it's really hard, but I find gratitude in it
because in every terrible situation, there's so many positives that can come from it.
Love that. Beautiful.
Well, with that, I want to get to transcend specifically, but before we do,
where are we finding you now mentally?
Because you mentioned about sobriety.
So what has changed in 2024?
I mean, you've gone through this incredible journey from childhood trauma to combat to,
you know, this this this battle with addiction and all the things that come with it.
Where are you now?
And, you know, and what is what is maintaining that today?
OK, so the last time that I used
tomorrow is my three month
clean from drugs and whatever you want to call it date.
And I don't really focus on dates too much.
Like I'm not going to AA or in a or time or whatever.
I just have created.
I not alone.
When I say I, it's more like, honestly, it's we
because it's like the people around me, you know, my fiance, stuff like that.
Like we friggin it's it's it's accumulation of like purpose and like love and,
you know, feeling wanted and needed and created purpose in our in life.
You know what I'm saying? And direction, having a direction.
So December the eighth was the last time that I use.
And January the 11th was the last time that I drank.
Even after I use, I was still drinking and stuff like that.
And it had been quite a it had been a long time
as I really like struggled with with alcohol
and towards a point where I was like, I don't really have an alcohol problem anymore.
And then it started to like I couldn't do anything without like wanting to drink.
It would get to like I'd buy a bottle of tequila and it was like, oh, well,
I have it. I'm going to take a shot this morning.
Why not? You know, and it'd be like, oh, well, I'm about to go do this.
Let me just pop take a couple of shots.
And then next thing I knew, I wanted to go and like sit at.
A restaurant or a bar or whatever and then have drinks.
And I don't even like being at bars.
Like I would find a spot in a corner and it would go like sit and drink.
By myself. That's terrible. Like.
And it's interesting that January 11th is also the day
that was the last day that I drank.
And I was the day that Cody got me set up on the walking in truth ministries.
And he told me, he said.
He said, brother, he said, you know, I'm going to go to the bar.
He said, brother, he said, and I'm I don't know if he could tell.
Probably I might have been slurring my words a little bit.
Hopefully I wasn't because that's extremely embarrassing.
Look like an idiot.
But I have so much respect for that dude.
Like he's.
I have so much love and respect for Cody.
We do this like he said, dude, if you struggle, he said, if you even think,
he said, if you think about drinking again, call me.
I don't care what time it is.
And.
I was like, there's no fucking way I'm
going to let this dude down, you know, I'm saying like, not because I did.
Like, you know, you give me the.
The access, you know, like I want to be there for you, but it's like.
I want to I would rather make you proud that I didn't have to do that.
You know what I'm saying?
Even though that you're willing to go to the distance and meet me there.
And then that was also the day I started talking to.
My fiance as well.
And and bro freaking just like dove in headfirst.
She's powerful.
She's such a powerful woman, loving, kind and grateful for it.
But there were some major pivotal things that day.
But like my headspace is from that point when I quit drinking.
It's it's like everything started to change.
Things started to become more clear.
Things started to become, you know,
like my consistency with the gym was picking up.
My headspace was getting better.
Everything started to just feel better by letting and in knowing and having a plan
going forward that things were getting better, you know.
Brilliant.
Well, from the physiological point of view, then you mentioned about Transcend
Foundation, Transcend, amazing company for supplementation, hormone replacement, etc.
And then the foundation, Brendan and those guys are doing incredible things
through the altruistic arm helping military and first responders.
So talk to me about your experience and which of the supplements have been helping you.
So some of the supplements that I use are obviously, I want to say,
my test levels were super low.
I think before, after the run, I've been with them for a couple of years,
but I got really inconsistent during the run.
I just like was running out of time.
And like I just did.
I was so tired and exhausted.
It was like wanting to stick myself and whatever.
It was like I had the compounds, Transcend, it supported me.
They sent me all these things.
And then like.
It was at a time where I was like really falling apart.
And then I was running for 16 to 18 hours a day and then having to drive the tour bus,
break it down, set it up, whatever.
I was like getting two hours of sleep.
I was like the last thing I want to do is sit there and draw up compounds and then
stick myself.
So the compounds that since I've gotten back on track with my consistency,
done my blood work.
Tessa Morland has helped me a lot and get better sleep,
better recovery by getting better sleep.
The testosterone has made me feel a lot better.
And then I also use Oxandrolone and then IGF-1, LR-3 and BPC-157.
And that combination together helps me with like my recovery.
It helps me recover faster, sleep better.
And my mental health has like drastically, drastically improved.
I put on some more weight.
I've gotten leaner and it's helped a lot.
And I'm reducing the alcohol out of my system and stuff like that has also helped
get a lot leaner. Like I wasn't obese or anything like that.
But these compounds have completely changed the way that I feel.
So this is what's so important in this whole conversation.
Let's say mental health, the health conversation is, you've got exercise,
you've got nutrition, you've got sleep.
But if you are a firefighter that's worked 15, 20 years, 56 hours a week,
getting absolutely murdered for 24 hours straight,
your hormones are going to be depleted.
If you are a combat veteran or a SWAT operative that is exposed to multiple
blasts and you have TBIs or micro concussions,
there may be an element that your testosterone is lower.
And this is what I love about Transcend is if you just need a little boost,
they have gentle supplements for that.
If you need full on TRT, then they have the ability to do that.
But they have such a spectrum.
And I was very lucky.
Like naturally, I'm about to turn 50 and my blood work was actually pretty good.
So I just took a little boost from some peptides.
That was it to help my body make its own because 14 years on shift.
I know that's a deficit.
But if you're not putting your physiology straight,
that can help you know, that can then cause you to sleep worse.
As you said, lean into alcohol and some of these other areas.
So this is another piece of the puzzle.
I think this is really exciting that there are these these tools that you can add
into other things that you're already doing well to get your physiology back to
the way it is, which then in turn will then help you, as you said, exercise more,
sleep better, love harder.
I mean, all the things that are nurturing for a human being.
And also,
even to go outside of the service work industry,
service work industry, service work friggin with addiction.
And I spent 13 years staying up night as a multiple days.
I mean, there was times where I stayed up like 11 days.
And
that puts extreme tax on your body.
So even people with addiction, there's peptides to help
combat addiction as well or help trying
break some of those chains with that as well.
So it's a wide variety of things to look into research.
Do you research always the research, but great company to work with by by any means.
There's so many people that I have that reach out to me
and they'll go and get blood work done with a primary care provider.
And I'm like, they'll say that they're in range.
And I'm like, what's in range?
And they'll tell me that they like
300 or 400.
And I'm like, you're not in range.
You're like in the what's acceptable, but you're not optimal.
And that's the thing is that if you're
with a provider and your levels, you test the oxygen levels or in that,
if they're less than 800,
you need to be seeking somebody that's going to put you above that.
You know, like that's my that's my perspective on it.
I'm saying, like, you know, optimal is somewhere.
And if you feel great, then great.
But like.
If you're struggling with weight loss and you're, you know, you're tired and,
you know, things,
your sex drive is down or whatever,
and you can't figure out why.
And those are where your levels are at.
I look into that, raise that, raise that up, you know.
Well, that spectrum from I think, what is it, 250 or 150 up to 9, 950 that the
doctors had, I had Kirk Posse, a Navy SEAL term physician on the show.
And he explained that that range was created in a town near one of the Ivy
League schools and the nine nine fifty is the high school football player.
And one fifty or whatever is is the sedentary old man, 80 year old.
So when you tell a 28, 30 year old firefighter or EOD specialist that 400 is fine,
it's not because you're arguably probably pretty physical in that profession already.
And you should, as you said, be in the upper range of that doesn't need to be
in the thousands, maybe for you, but certainly at 30 years old,
you don't need to be 400 or 300.
So I think understanding that the origin
of that scale helps reframe people and get a more,
you know, well trained perspective of where where people comparable to them would be.
Everyone is different.
But if you're a 30 year old tactical athlete,
chances are, as you said, you need to be in the 800s, not the 300s.
That's correct.
Especially if you want to perform.
Yeah, absolutely.
I agree with that.
Brilliant. Well, Jeff, I want to say thank you so much.
It's been an incredible conversation.
For people listening, where are the best places to follow you or reach out to you online?
So Instagram
at Jeff Spire, that's GEOFF SP EY RER.
I respond to everything on Instagram.
I do mental toughness coaching with expansion consultants.
We have our first event coming up April 11th through 13th.
You can go to expansion that's expansion with an X P A N S I O N dot com.
And I'm one of the mental toughness coaches with that.
And that's for like elite level or going to an elite level in business
and growth mindset, relationships and stuff like that.
And then on Facebook,
my name is exactly the same as it is on on the Instagram.
It's just Jeff Spire.
And then also on YouTube, I'm on YouTube as well.
I'm going to be working on putting some more content out with that.
I just recently got my little podcast studio set back up.
So I'm going to be putting out more content on there.
So you can follow me there to subscribe to that.
Check it out.
Beautiful. Well, I want to thank you so much.
It's been an incredible conversation.
We've gone all over the place.
And the newness of the struggle, I think, is powerful as well.
It's not like, yeah, 20 years ago,
I got sober and I've been ultra marathying ever since, which a lot of people have.
And kudos to them.
But the fact that this roller coaster ride
that you've been on took you up to arguably three months ago,
I think it's a really powerful perspective.
But hearing all the tools that you talked about that worked,
all the things that led to the self sabotage that every single one of us
suffers from in some way, shape or form.
It was a very, very important conversation.
So I want to thank you so much for being
so generous with your time and coming on the podcast today.
Thank you, brother.
People forget that life is not a steady.
Climb, you know, it's the hills, the valleys, the lows, the ups, the downs.
And that's my goal is like in totality is to be useful and of service and to show
people it doesn't matter where you're at, it doesn't matter what part of your journey
you're in.
There's hope and it all starts with taking that first step.
It's hard to take the first step, and it's also hard to stay stuck.
Choose your heart.