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Welcome to Root Words. I'm Michelle Root and on this podcast we will embark on a journey

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of self-discovery while appreciating the complexities of language through etymology,

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the study of words. Each episode we will explore the origins of a specific word, how it can

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influence our spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional well-being. I want to help us

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dive into the intersections of language and life so we can contribute to a common understanding.

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Let's uncover the power of language together. One word at a time. This is Root Words.

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Welcome back to Root Words. I'm Michelle Root and before we get started with the episode today,

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I wanted to just give my immense gratitude for everyone who tuned into the introductory episode

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last week. This has truly been a labor of love and to see the reception, the feedback, the advice,

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and just the pure love that I've been shown just over this past week alone has been so

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validating for me. I'm not going to lie, it is terrifying to get on a podcast and hear your voice

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broadcasted to many people wondering if the words are going to resonate in land where they need to.

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Those are all things that I've been running through my mind and honestly, instead of over

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analyzing it all, I just jumped right in. And to have the reception that I've gotten so far

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has been absolutely amazing. So again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for

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tuning into this podcast. I hope to see you more in the future. I hope to create more content with

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you and for you. As I said in my intro episode, I'm learning with you, I'm growing with you,

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and I genuinely cannot wait to start this journey with you all. With that being said,

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it ultimately brings me to the point of our very first full-length episode, the word existentialism.

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Dictionary.com defines it as the philosophical belief that we are each responsible for creating

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a level of meaning and purpose in our own lives. And unfortunately, with that responsibility,

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can sometimes carry a level of anguish and dread. The concepts of existentialism were originally

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founded in 1800s by philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. Alongside famed philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche,

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the foundations of modern-day existentialism were formed. It wasn't until the 1940s when

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French philosopher Gabriel Marcelle introduced the actual term existentialism. When Marcelle

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introduced the term to another famed French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, he initially rejected

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the notion, not fully understanding the magnitude of the concept. He ultimately had a change of

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heart, and after writing the book, existentialism is a humanism, on October 29th, Sartre, alongside

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Nietzsche, became one of the most well-known existential philosophers of our time. The root

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word of existentialism is exist, so it's no surprise that the concept itself means to live

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or to have reality. I found the difference between existentialism and exist to be rather fascinating.

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Fascinating in the sense that existentialism focuses on the awareness of free will and

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responsibility in one's old life. While exist, a verb simply means the action of being. It's

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reminiscent of the times where you would look down at your hands and realize with full capacity that

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you are truly just a soul within a body. Operating neural pathways within a brain that you're

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controlling, it starts to splinter from that where you're thinking about how did you get here,

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why are you here, what is everyone's purpose and meaning in life, and it can become so consuming

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to think about because the scale is so large, the scale is so infinite, you compare your existence to

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that of a trillion stars and planets in the sky, so much so that it all becomes so irrelevant.

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And I think that's hard for a lot of people to process, and it turns into a rabbit hole that

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many of us are not prepared to navigate. If you think about that for too long, it puts your mind

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into this weird liminal space of being aware of reality while also existing within it. So the way

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I kind of remedy that is to come back to my own consciousness, ground myself in my reality, and

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understand that no matter how big or small my existence may be, I can find my own value in

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the things that I choose to honor, the way I choose to represent myself, and how I choose to engage

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with my environment and the things around me. I found it so interesting during my last birthday

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where I was at a very reflective period in my life looking at both the past and present in tandem.

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Where I was looking down at my turbulent child and young adult, you know, really reflecting on the

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traumas that I've been through, the life experiences that I've gone through that really shaped who I

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am as a person now, while also on the flip side, excitedly gazing towards the hopefully more mature

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and fulfilling future that awaits me. Now, I honestly love this duality because having the full

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spectrum of perception is absolutely invaluable to our existence. It's such a profound thing to

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be able to bear witness to. Being in this reflective space and duality really has you focusing on your

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perceived accomplishments and failures. I feel like that's pretty common though once you get to a

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certain point in your life, you can't help but weigh negative and positive aspects. One of the

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biggest accomplishments in my own personal life is my children. I was a very young teen mom who was

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thrown into the world of parenthood very quickly while I was myself still learning and growing

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as a child. And to look back at the point in life when I first found out that I was going to be a

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young mom unsure of how I was going to manifest this new reality, how I was going to navigate it.

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I didn't have much of the life skills myself to get through my own childhood, let alone bringing

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another person into this realm to guide and lead and love. It was a daunting task and fast forward

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to now where I can't help but reflect on all the accomplishments my family has achieved. It evokes

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within me such a huge sense of pride and amazement. I never could have imagined being at this space now.

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Little Michelle, I'm so immensely proud of you and all you've done. Now, naturally, I'm not as

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excited to talk about the less than desirable parts of my life. Past addiction struggles to

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friendships lost due to misunderstanding, discourse, or simply just falling apart from each other.

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All these transformative lessons and heavy emotions they evoke come from a place of dismay

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rather than shame, as I know that these things deserve grace and forgiveness towards myself.

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Both the positive and negative aspects shape our whole reality and existence. Grasping this

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is the epitome of existentialism in the sense that I am fully aware of all aspects of my will.

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Now, I started this project because I honestly have been entering an involuntary existential crisis

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of sorts. It didn't really feel negative solely, but the urgency and the gnawing need to create

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was not something I could shake. I'm a very creative person. I love to share my ideas and

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thoughts. I like to paint, write, draw anything that can get out what is inside of my soul,

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to be expressive, to be a tangible piece of work that I can produce to show the world what is inside

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my soul. So not always having that outlet can prove very detrimental for me. No, I know we'll

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have different meanings of what purpose means for our lives, but for me personally, if I don't have

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my own centered sense of purpose living day by day with a goal, I feel hopelessly lost. I need

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some sort of direction or guidance, whether it's outwardly or from internal sources to feel a sense

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of purpose. And you may not share in that idea. That's fine. I just from my own personal standpoint,

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I need something of greater value and purpose to be always actively working upon. Otherwise,

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I personally would get depressed, lost, anxious, just feel like I'm wandering aimlessly through

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life. Now, I've always felt I've operated from a pretty optimistic perspective. I don't

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necessarily always feel hopeless, but I do feel aimless. And that can be just as draining and

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frustrating to deal with, to be confused about what you're supposed to be doing and attaching your

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accomplishments to tangible things that your soul would consider substance. I felt like my internal

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being has been screaming at me for bigger, more meaningful tasks. Honestly, if you know, you know

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exactly what I'm talking about, it's hard to explain to someone that does not understand that

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just sitting back and relaxing sometimes can drive you mad. You have to always be actively

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creating and producing something. And that is something that I have to work on within myself.

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I don't feel like that's always a healthy way to approach life. I feel like we all go through

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this level of disconnect at different stages of our lives, wandering and wondering if we're living

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our life's true meaning. When we leave high school, we wonder if we have any sense of direction to

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lead us successfully into adulthood. We know we don't know anything and we're being thrown at

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life's door. After our 20s are over and the high of being a young adult wears thin, we wonder if

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we're prepared for the next level of responsibilities. You can't help but wonder if you've done enough

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in the previous time period to feel a sense of worth. And you can't help but think if you've

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wasted time and now find yourselves in a countdown of sorts to the inevitable end of our time here

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on this earth. I feel like when you can subjectively look at both your accomplishments and failures,

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you're really able to gauge where you need to direct your energy and where you're being siphoned

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for it. Now recently I came across a video challenging the notion of needing to have purpose

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within one's life and simply existing was purpose enough. I agree and disagree with this in the sense

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that living, experiencing and breathing life is essentially purpose in of itself. Of course,

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we can find meanings to things that we attach our successes to, but isn't making it day by day in

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this chaotic world and accomplishment in of itself? Where did this idea stem from that we have to

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create tangible things to be successful or productive? Now without diving too deep into the

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topic, to me it seems like capitalism has formed this way of thought. Its omnipresence permeates

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every aspect of our lives and it no doubt contributes to the anguish and grief mentioned in the

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definition of existentialism. If we remove the expectations placed on us by a capitalistic

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society, we're left with the opportunity of doing things out of a desire rather than a need.

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A lot of creatives may be able to relate to the idea that when you're forced to create a project

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your heart's just not in it. A final product isn't as good as how do you been able to approach it

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with unbridled and unrestricted energy? So a good question to ask ourselves is does forcing

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purpose in our lives create the lack of purpose? Also, it begs the question, if something is

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inauthentic is it also lacking validity? The answers to these questions vary as we all have

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alternating perspectives and ideals about life. Ultimately, you have to define what purpose

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means for you personally and with that what is the basis of your purpose in life? Existentialism

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relies heavily on the notion that no deity or higher being is involved in our lives and that we alone

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carry the daunting task of living with meaning. Now whether you're a theist, an agnostic, or an

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atheist, the thought of being in control of your life 100% of the time is a very sobering thought.

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Having divine intervention brings the comfort of sorts, a feeling that you're not alone in the

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world and the choices that you make. Alternatively, having divine intervention influence aspects of

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your life may feel stifling and have you lacking a sense of control over your own destiny. For me,

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liminality wins again in the sense that I like to adopt the best of both worlds. I believe I hold

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dominion over my existence but I also choose to believe that divine intervention is present,

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providing guidance and support rather than dictation and domination. It's just a personal

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perspective of mine. I support all ways of thought as long as it aligns with the elevation of humanity

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as a whole. At the end of the day, whether we believe in the influence of deities or ourselves,

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having the ability to reflect on the impact we make on the world around us, aids in the

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elevation of us all as a species, we improve, we refine, we ascend. I'll leave you today with a

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quote from one of the greatest directors of the 20th century, Stanley Kubrick.

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Thank you for learning with me today as we explored our first word. It's truly eye-opening to realize

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how vast our existence can be, especially when we bring intentional focus to it.

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Please join me on the next episode where we uncover the unplanned fortunate discovery of the word

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serendipity. I'm Michelle Root and this is Root Words.

