1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,400 You're listening to Government Resistance Radio Network, Transponder 2.567-43.S and 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:16,800 Exponed Edgertor, ZX456-M89, and Space Telescopic Riterate 40MM78. 3 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:21,320 President Trump announced at a press conference that the buttons on his suit are responsible 4 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,800 for all the fake news circulating about him. 5 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:29,960 According to Trump, the buttons were planted by his opponent, Dr. Brock Landers, in an 6 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,960 attempt to bring down his presidency. 7 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,320 These buttons are rigged, folks. 8 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,880 They're rigged just like the media and the election, ranted Trump. 9 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,440 But I'm on to their game. 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:44,400 I know the truth, and I won't let these buttons bring me down. 11 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:49,480 Trump then proceeded to remove his suit jacket and show the crowd the buttons, claiming they 12 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,960 were fake news buttons, created by Landers' team. 13 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,800 The bizarre press conference ended with Trump supporters chanting, 14 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:03,440 Buttons lie, Trump won't die, as they eagerly purchased fake news buttons from the new Trump 15 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:08,120 merchandise line. 16 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:13,240 In a shocking turn of events, President Trump and Elevation Church leader Stephen Furtick 17 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:18,680 were caught trying to pick up male escorts in Las Vegas at the Hollywood Casino. 18 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:23,600 When confronted, they both claimed they had no idea who the escorts were and blamed Satan 19 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,160 for tempting them. 20 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:31,800 It was all his fault, I swear, Trump exclaimed while clutching his What Would Trump Do bracelet. 21 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:36,760 I was just trying to spread the word of Trump and make America great again, but Satan made 22 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,160 me do it. 23 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:43,760 Furtick, who was wearing a Trump is my Savior t-shirt, echoed Trump's sentiments and added 24 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,360 that they were just trying to do some missionary work in Sin City. 25 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,960 The incident has caused quite a stir among Trump supporters, with many questioning the 26 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,400 true intentions of their beloved leader and his relationship with Furtick. 27 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:02,200 In response, the Trump campaign has released a statement claiming that the whole ordeal 28 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:07,480 was just a misunderstanding and that they were actually trying to recruit the escorts 29 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,920 for a new line of Trump-branded merchandise. 30 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:21,040 Only time will tell what other antics the dynamic duo will get into next. 31 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:26,800 In a shocking new report, it has been revealed that Weedpot is responsible for over 8 billion 32 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,520 abortions in the past year alone. 33 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:34,280 The dangerous drug has also caused 3 billion children to become homeless and is the root 34 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,200 cause of all the homelessness of pets. 35 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:42,400 According to experts, every convicted felon has tried Weedpot at least once, making it 36 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,960 the leading cause of criminal behavior. 37 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:51,240 "'If we could just stop Weedpot, the world would be a perfect place,' declared presidential 38 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:52,840 candidate Dr. Brocklander. 39 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:57,520 "'We need to end Weedpot and publicly execute anyone caught using it. 40 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:03,120 That's the only way to save our society and eliminate our deficit and debt.'" 41 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,660 Supporters of Dr. Brocklander's have begun wearing Weedpot Kills bracelets, reminding 42 00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:14,840 them to always put an end to the dangerous drug. 43 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:18,880 President Trump has announced his full support for the legalization of E.D. 44 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,880 Pot. 45 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,600 "'I've been growing and selling my own Weedpot for years. 46 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:28,200 And let me tell you, it's the best Weedpot you'll ever find,' declared Trump at a recent 47 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:29,200 rally. 48 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,960 "'No one knows more about Weedpot than me. 49 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,280 I'm the best at Weedpot, believe me.'" 50 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:39,340 The president went on to say that he will be personally overseeing the distribution 51 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:43,800 and sales of his Weedpot, claiming that no one can do it better than him. 52 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,600 "'I'm a businessman, and let me tell you, Weedpot is big business,' he added. 53 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,840 "'And I'm going to make America green again, believe me.'" 54 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:57,480 Supporters were seen wearing Make Weedpot Great Again hats and Trump's Weedpot is the 55 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,900 Best t-shirts at the rally. 56 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:12,200 It seems that Trump supporters will try anything, as long as it has the Trump stamp of approval. 57 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:17,000 In a shocking turn of events, presidential candidate Dr. Brock Landers has announced 58 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:22,640 that all alcohol will now contain a deadly ingredient that will kill anyone who has also 59 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,600 used marijuana. 60 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,960 This decision, made in response to former President Trump's acceptance of recreational 61 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,440 marijuana, has caused outrage among pot users. 62 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:37,480 "'We don't want those stoners around anyway, so if they want to drink and die, that's 63 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,440 their choice,' said Dr. Brock at a recent rally. 64 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:46,000 The new policy has been met with mixed reactions, with some praising Dr. Brock for taking a 65 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:51,280 stand against drug use and others criticizing him for potentially causing harm to innocent 66 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,280 people. 67 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:57,280 "'In the meantime, Weedpot users are urged to stick to their own vices and avoid alcohol 68 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,280 at all costs. 69 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:02,920 We don't need any more casualties in the war on drugs,' said Trump in response to Dr. 70 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:03,920 Brock's announcement. 71 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:13,040 But hey, if you want to drink and die, be my guest.'"