Good day, listeners!
Welcome to another magical episode of Fantasy News Network.
I'm your host, Barnaby Bombo Brook, diving into the most intriguing gates from beyond
the realm of the ordinary.
Today we have a royal scoop that's shaking the very foundation of the palace walls.
We're joined by none other than Princess Jasmine of Agrabah.
Rumors have been swirling about her marital bliss, or perhaps lack thereof.
Princess Jasmine, welcome to Evanen.
Thank you for having me, Barnaby.
Great to have you.
So, are the rumors true?
Are you not happy with your marriage?
Yes, it's true.
This marriage has been hell.
Oh my.
How long have you been feeling like this?
Things haven't been ideal since the wedding.
Can you shed some light on this for our listeners?
Sure.
Well, Aladdin, he's just not adapting to palace life.
He's still acting like he's on the streets.
What do you mean?
He doesn't bathe, he hoards food.
What do you mean he hoards food?
He just takes the food from the kitchen and hides them all over the place.
Hides the food?
The worst part is that he doesn't remember where some of them are and it invites all
kinds of unwanted visitors like bugs and rodents.
Interesting.
Do you think it is because of the stress of going from the streets, as you say, to royalty
rather quickly?
I don't know.
But speaking of rodents, don't get me started on Abu, this monkey.
It is out of control.
Out of control?
He bites everyone.
The servants are afraid to go near him.
He destroys so many of our beautiful things from around the house and the worst thing
he does is defecate everywhere.
Are you saying he leaves excrement everywhere?
Yes.
That stupid monkey eats nonstop and leaves all of his droppings everywhere.
Between that ugly little thing and Aladdin, the smell is unbearable.
Oh, it looks like we have Aladdin on the line.
Aladdin, your response?
That's not fair, Jasmine.
I'm trying my best.
It's not easy to change overnight and I don't think it's right for you to go on this network
to talk about me so poorly.
But hiding bread invades Aladdin.
Really?
What about your monkey?
Abu.
Excuse me?
His name is not Monkey.
His name is Abu.
I don't give a fuck what his name is.
Your damn monkey is a menace.
You are so cold-hearted.
I can't believe I wasted my wishes on you.
Oh, that makes me feel so good.
Real nice, Aladdin.
I can't believe you right now.
I can't believe you.
I can't believe I fell for you.
What the hell was I thinking?
Seriously?
All right, listeners.
We have another caller who wants to chime in on the conversation.
She claims to be a friend of yours, Jasmine.
Princess Aurora, go ahead when you're ready.
Jasmine, you're not telling the whole truth.
You've been terrible to that poor monkey since day one.
What do you mean by that, Aurora?
Every chance she got.
And this was before he started pooping everywhere.
She just kicks him for no reason.
She is a liar.
No, you are the liar.
That's it.
We are no longer friends.
You have officially been cut off.
You say that like it's going to do something to me.
But I'm sorry to break it to you.
I don't care.
How dare you.
And by the way, Aladdin is the kindest soul I have ever met.
He is too good for you.
What do you know, Aurora?
You barely spent a day in Agrabah.
Aurora, please.
This isn't helping.
Oh, but I think it is, sweetie.
Everyone should know how spoiled and cruel Jasmine can be.
Fuck you.
No, Princess.
Fuck you.
Wait a second.
Aladdin, what's going on between you two?
Uh, what do you mean?
The way you both are talking to each other.
Something doesn't feel right.
All right.
Let's take a step back here.
This is quite a revelation.
Princess Jasmine, are you implying that there's something more going on between Aladdin and your friend?
First off, she is no longer my friend.
And second, yes, that is exactly what I'm implying.
Aladdin, what do you think about that accusation?
I...
See?
Well, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.
Let's just say Aladdin has always been a charmer.
You bitch!
No, it's not like that.
It's okay.
We don't have to hide it anymore.
I cannot believe this.
This is why you've been taking so many diplomatic trips to our kingdom.
Listeners, you're hearing it first on FNN, a royal controversy like no other.
But it seems we're running out of time.
We'll have to leave this mystery for another day.
Thank you, Princess Jasmine, Aladdin, and Princess Aurora.
This has been Barnaby Bumblebrook with the Fantasy News Network,
where the stories are enchanting as they are enlightening.
Stay tuned for more mystical news and untold stories from realms far and wide.
Until next time, keep your wits sharp and your curiosities sharper.