all you ladies a very happy Mother's Day. Normally
we find ourselves in a sermon series. I'm in
the book of Matthew chapter 13 looking at the
kingdom of God and about every other year we
usually look at Mother's Day. There's not a lot
of passages there, but if I feel really like
this is something the church needs to hear or
something I had to say, then we will usually
stop the series and every other year look at
this. And so I want to look this morning in the
second chapter of Titus. And we're going to look
at verses 1, 3 through 5, and verse 14. That
will serve as our text. Paul is writing to Titus,
a young man that's left. To help regulate a church
that's being formed on the island of Crete. And
we'll get to that in a moment. But he writes,
in the first chapter he's explaining how bad
the culture of Crete was. Second chapter he's
saying, hey, here's what you do in the church.
So verse 1 he says, And verse 2 he talks about
the men. Older men, specifically. But then verse
3 he picks it up in his admonitions to the ladies
in the church. The older women likewise, which
does mean they're not left out here, that they
be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not
given to much wine, teachers of good things,
that they admonish, and you might have a version
that says that they teach, that they teach, that
they admonish the young women to love their husbands,
to love their children, to be discreet, chaste,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the
word of God may not be blasphemed. And then verse
14, I think this serves as really the central
text of chapter 2, speaking of Jesus, who gave
himself for us, that he might redeem us from
every lawless deed and purify for himself his
own special people. who are zealous for good
works. Let's pray. Father, would you help me
this morning, Lord? God, I pray that I'd be filled
with your spirit. Lord, what I would say would
be derived from the text. Father, help me not
to impose my own views, but Lord God, I pray
that you, by your spirit, would illumine the
text, show us Jesus and his glory, even in the
second chapter of Titus. We pray this in Christ's
name. Amen. Growing up, I always heard a proverb,
and I just assumed it was just that, a proverb.
And it said this, the hand that rocks the cradle
is the hand that rules the world. This past week,
I was just kind of looking at that. I typed it
into Google, and I realized it's actually a poem
written in the mid -1800s, 1865. And it's entitled,
and it's four stanzas. I'm only going to read
one, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. But I thought
this was really good. All four stanzas are good,
but this is one I chose for time's sake this
morning. Woman, how divine your mission here
upon our natal sod. Keep, oh keep the young heart
open, always to the breath of God. All true trophies
of the ages are from mother love imperiled. For
the hand that rocks a cradle is the hand that
rules the world. So this poem was written in
praise of mothers showing how they possess immense
power and influence. And it's true. In nurturing
and raising children, mothers shape the future
for better or for worse. Being a mother is a
blessing, but not all mothers are blessed. Some
do a horrible job, and they shape their children
for ill. But God's design, if we look at God's
design for human civilization, not in the church,
but for human civilization, we have men and women
getting married, forming a covenant, and rearing
children in the fear of God. That is his design.
So the family, we would say, is the basic building
block, the basic unit of civilization. So what
happens when that design is broken? Well, necessarily,
chaos comes. And sadly, we see this in our own
culture even today. I was looking up some stats.
I was telling my wife this yesterday, and they're
just staggering to me. Today in the U .S., 4
out of 10 children ages 6 through 18, so that's
school -age children, are fatherless, meaning
the father does not, no father, stepfather, no
father lives in the home. Now let that sink in.
40 % of children who are in school live in a
home where no father is present at all. And that's
a tragedy. And you're like, well, why does that
matter? Well, it matters a lot. Children without
a father are four times as likely to be poor,
twice as likely to drop out of school. If you
look at 70 % of the high school dropouts, it's
somehow related to the lack of the father's presence
in the home. It affects girls even worse. Girls
without a father are twice as likely to be obese,
four times as likely to get pregnant in their
teens. And then if we look at the demographic
breakdown, poorer communities are even more greatly
affected. And we'll give you the racial demographic
for fatherlessness in the United States. So 20
% of white kids live in a fatherless home. When
you take the Hispanic community, it rises to
31%. When you go to the African American community,
it's 57%. When you're talking about births outside
of marriage, today in America, 22 % of births
to white women occur outside of marriage. That
rises to 54 % of Hispanic women give birth without
being married. And nearly 70 % of births for
black women occur outside of marriage. These
are just stats. You can take them, manipulate
them, do whatever you want with them. But something
has gone terribly wrong in American society.
It's obvious. So we say, what happened? Now again,
I'm going to suggest to you, before we get into
the text, I want to give you a cultural overview
that I think this is where it started. If you
start looking at stats, you can go back and see
where things started to dip off precipitously.
And that was in the 1960s. Where you're like,
well, what happened in the 1960s? Well, lots
of things happened. But particularly, it was
the advent of the birth control pill. So what
happened? You're like, well, isn't this a stretch?
Give me a second. The birth control pill separated
sexual activity from reproduction. So that naturally
invited promiscuity because one of the deterrents
was their fear of pregnancy. So now the pill
is giving rise to reproductive autonomy and they
are closely linked. So that led in the 70s to
the legalization of abortion. Now you're probably
saying, no, Pastor, you're really making a step.
No. In 1965, there was a Supreme Court case,
Griswold v. Connecticut, over the birth control
pill. Can you believe that? Like, that was saying,
is it legal? And the Supreme Court decided in
1965, yes, that a woman has a constitutional
right to privacy regarding reproductive decisions.
It's a privacy. Well, in 1973, in the Roe v.
Wade case, the Supreme Court, taking up the case,
used that precedent from 1965, the birth control
pill case, As their decision, and they said an
abortion is a private medical decision between
a patient and their doctor. So now what happens,
you have women able to delay childbearing. They're
pursuing higher education. That's not necessarily
bad. It's good. They enter into the workforce.
This now gives them financial means to support
themselves outside of a marriage. But what we
also saw at this time is a rise in what is known
as a no -fault divorce. Usually you had to sue
for divorce. You couldn't just end your marriage.
But a no -fault divorce is where neither spouse
is required to prove wrongdoing, blame, or marital
misconduct to end the marriage. So in other words,
a couple can simply claim what is known as irreconcilable
differences and the marriage is dissolved. Well,
this started leading to a widespread increase
in divorce, which then caused children to grow
up into homes without fathers. which is leading
to the mess we are currently in. Now, we've sown
the wind, and we're reaping the whirlwind. Now,
here's what I want to focus on this morning.
What are Christians supposed to do as we desire
to bear faithful witness to Christ in an ever
-degrading culture? First of all, I'd say don't
panic. God is on his throne. He is still sovereign.
God has providentially placed you here on this
earth at this point in time in history for a
reason. It's not an accident. It's not happenstance.
It is the providential sovereign design of God.
So yes, our culture is bad. That's absolutely
true. But Christians have actually lived in much
worse cultures. If you look at the culture before
the gospel took root in the world. So let's talk
about a pre -Christian culture. The world...
was even worse than ours. But the gospel started
spreading. It took root in the Roman Empire and
changed culture. Ancient Rome was absolutely
a quagmire, perverse, absolutely pagan. Seneca,
the well -known Roman philosopher, here's what
he said. Now this is the time when, again, around
the time of the gospel being spread, he wrote
about, now he's a well -known philosopher in
Rome. Mad dogs we knock on the head. A natural
progeny we destroy. We drown even children at
birth who are weakly and abnormal. And he wasn't
speaking in hyperbole. We know Cicero, the so
-called refined and educated Cicero. He said,
Deformed infants shall be killed. Now that deformity
could simply mean an unwanted child, a child
who is sick, a child born with some deformity,
or a child born with the wrong sex. The couple
was hoping for a girl and they got a boy, so
they killed. Roman law at that time saw nothing
morally wrong with what is known as infanticide,
killing babies that were already born. In fact,
it was legal at that time for a parent, a mother,
to abandon her newborn on the garbage dump in
a city. You know what the early church did? These
women would go through the garbage dumps rescuing
these babies and adopting them. God used his
people to change the world. But the gospel started
taking root, started spreading around the Roman
Empire. Things started to change. And that's
what I want to focus on this morning. So we're
looking at the letter to Titus. So if you look
at 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus, those are
known as the pastoral epistles. The Apostle Paul
is writing to these young men how to lead and
organize churches that were being formed. Because
churches are always formed because we live in
covenant. We live in community. We're not isolated.
The church is important. So what they were to
do, he said, you need to appoint qualified elders,
leaders. But you're going to have to have some
combat false teaching, and it was rampant. You're
going to promote sound doctrine, which is what
we're going to look at this morning. And I want
you to make sure that there's orderly conduct
within the church. Now, Titus was left on an
island known as Crete. Now, he was there to rightly
order church or churches that had been founded.
And if you look at the island of Crete, it was
absolutely not Christian at all, nor was it friendly
to a Christian worldview. Stephen Davy, in his
commentary, writing about the island of Crete,
this is what we know. Homosexual marriage was
practiced by emperors and statesmen. Bisexuality
was the norm, and heterosexuality, exclusive,
was considered prudish. Older men were known
to be immature, self -centered. The older women...
They were drunkards, gossips, younger men, selfish
younger ladies, abandoned their husbands and
children. And Paul left Titus in that culture
and said, you need to allow the church to thrive
in this hostile environment. Believers were called
to adorn the gospel, the good news of the saving
work of Christ, through their transformed lives.
Chapter 2, verse 14, I already read it. Jesus
Christ gave himself for us that he might redeem
us from every lawless deed and purify himself,
his own special people, his covenant people,
his chosen people, zealous for good works. So
Lord Jesus Christ, he gives himself at Calvary.
Why? He's going to purchase a people. He's going
to buy them, redeem them. That's what it means.
He's buying them from the slave market of sin.
He's going to purify them because we are impure.
And then he's going to put his spirit in us and
make us zealous to perform good works. Now what
are the good works that Christians are to be
zealous for? In context of chapter 2, part of
this would be for Christian men and Christian
women to fulfill their unique role. They're unique,
exclusive. Christian men have one role, Christian
ladies have another. So believers' lives should
be marked by a stark difference from a pagan
culture in which we live. You and I live in a
postmodern culture. Let's call it pagan or it's
quasi -pagan. Now this contrast, where is it
going to be most readily seen? In the home. Now
today, because it's Mother's Day, you lucky ladies.
I'm going to focus on verses 3 through 5. You're
like, well, what about the men? Well, that's
Father's Day, all right? So we're at Mother's
Day today. And here we see older women are to
show younger women how they are to be Christian
wives and mothers. Now, they're already Christians.
Now, for some, I will say, if you're here today
as a guest, you may see Paul's instruction as
archaic. Perhaps you would say misogynistic.
And yet I would say it's the wisdom of God. Look
at verse 1. But as for you, speak the things
which are proper for sound doctrine. Okay, here's
the sound doctrine. This is what I want you to
teach, Titus. When the church is being formed,
here's what you're going to do. He talks to the
men, verse 2, then verse 3. The older women likewise.
Now here's what I want you to tell them. That
they be reverent in behavior, not slanders, not
given to much wine, teachers of good things.
So Paul begins by talking to older women. And
he specifically wants them to guide and teach
the younger women. Now he says older women. He
does not say older mothers. That's a different
word. Now in context, most of them would have
been mothers, but that was not the requirement.
Now the question I ask is who are the older women?
And the question I was afraid to answer on Mother's
Day is talk about who older women are because
that's not a safe thing to do. But this is the
thing. They may be younger than you imagine.
How would I say it? Let me just say this. Older
women are women who've lived long enough to know
what matters most. They've got some wisdom. It
basically, now this is an oversimplification,
refers to any woman who would have raised her
children who are now out from the home under
her care. So that means an older woman could
potentially be in her 40s. Potentially. And there
is no maximum age. Now what Paul is saying to
Titus is, Find women who've already experienced
the pitfalls and challenges of being a Christian
wife and a mother and help them help the younger.
They're to pass on to the younger generation
what they have gleaned. And let's be honest,
experience is a pretty good teacher. So the very
first thing he's talking to the older women,
he says, but not just any older woman. He said
the ones that they be reverent in behavior. Now,
the King James says, as becometh holiness. It
just means to be godly. These lives, these women's
lives represent the living God whom they serve.
They're good representatives. See, it's not enough
that a woman has simply raised children and are
now out of the home. Lots of women have done
that, and they're terrible examples, by the way.
But if this woman is going to help, she's got
to set a godly example. Just because a woman
has age does not mean she has wisdom. And I would
say to young women in here, listen carefully.
If someone is going to help guide you, make sure
their lives are worth imitating. Be very discerning
who you allow to speak into your life. Because
there are many, many voices seeking to influence
young women today. We even hear about influencers
online. People whose whole job is to influence
people. But most of them are young and inexperienced.
So Paul, through Titus, through Pastor Ryan this
morning, would say, Be careful what voices you
listen to. The older women that Paul is speaking
of in the text, he said they're going to be an
example of a Christian woman that you should
aspire to become. These women know what life
is about. And holiness is their objective. And
he moves on and he says, but they're not slanders,
not gossips. What the church needs are women
who honor other ladies. instead of tearing them
down. We don't need what's typically, stereotypically
called catty women and trying to make one up
the other. That's not the church. We need women
who are going to build each other up. Again,
Dave in his commentary, he said, the word that
Paul uses can literally be translated she -devil.
He is effectively saying the older women shouldn't
talk like the devil. And how does Satan talk?
His primary verbal role is accusing. He accuses
the saints and running down the believers, Revelation
12 .10. So when we're talking about not a slander,
this is a woman who has a faithful spirit. She
can be trusted. Why is this important? Because
if a younger lady is going to open herself up
about her struggles in her life, she needs to
be sure that that information is not going to
be shared with everyone. Why open yourself up?
It can be used against you. We need women who
are locked vaults. Nothing gets out. Keep going
and we'll go through some of these more quickly
than others. Not given to much wine. They're
sober. They have control over what comes out
of their mouth. No gossip. They also have control
over what goes into their mouth. Not a lot of
wine. What he's saying is they're not a slave
of alcohol. These are not the ladies that are
dependent. I just need a drink to get me through
the day. Or what time is it? It's wine time.
No. The island of Crete, and again, this is important,
this was known in the ancient world for its wine
production. So drunkenness was very common in
Crete, both men and women. Even today, right
now, Crete is the second largest wine producing
region in Greece. So these older Christian ladies
were living counter -culturally. They were not
filled with wine, rather they were filled with
the Holy Spirit of God. And we need them. And
Paul said, make sure you look for these ladies.
Titus, this is how you set the church in order.
And he says they need to be teachers of good
things. When he says teachers, this is not a
position. It's more of a pattern. Because they
have lived as faithful examples, they've earned
the right to mentor. They've earned the right
to disciple. And I think that as a pastor, this
is so helpful to me. Because women have different
problems, different temptations, different struggles
than men. You can say, well, yes, husbands, Peter
tells husbands, we are required to live with
our wives in an understanding way. But let's
be honest, by and large, for most of us, women
will still remain a mystery to us. They don't
think like us. So who better to help these Christian
young ladies than older ones who've already been
where they are now? But yet they have godly wisdom.
Okay, so they're to teach. What are they to teach?
Verse 4. That they admonish the young women to
love their husbands, to love their children.
We'll stop there. It goes on. They admonish.
Now again, some translations read they teach.
So the Greek word here is sophronizo. And it
means to correct. It's to restore someone to
their senses. You're causing them to think correctly.
Now think what Paul is saying here. The older
women were to correct the false assumptions that
these younger ladies had about domestic life,
married life. And he specifically says, teach
them how to love their husbands and love their
children. So part of thinking correctly is to
understand that being a loving wife and mother
is about self -sacrifice, not self -fulfillment.
Don't get your ideas about marriage from Hollywood.
The very first command that Paul gives for the
older ladies to teach the younger ones is how
to love their husbands. Now that seems strange,
because if there's anything women are good at,
it's loving. They love naturally. I mean, aren't
women the heart of the home? But the command
here... It's to love, but it's not a romantic
love. It's not a sexual love. The word is philandros.
It means to be fond of their husbands. To be
affectionate toward them. You can see where our
English word is philanthropy. So you could say
this. Christian wives are to be philanthropic
toward their husbands. And you're like, what's
it mean to be philanthropic? The idea... of seeking
the welfare of another. Someone's philanthropic,
they are very generous, usually charitable work.
It's the idea of seeking the good, the betterment,
the welfare of another person. So here's what
he's saying. Wives, young ladies, use your gifts,
and you are gifted, of time and talent and treasure
to make life better for your husband. Again,
I want to quote Davey. I think he just did such
a good job. I loved reading him this week. He
said, a younger woman, go to that next slide,
guys. A younger woman has been married just long
enough to learn how stubborn and difficult and
insensitive and hard -headed her husband can
be. No amens. And she's probably come to the
wrong conclusion that she married the only man
God made that way. It takes an older woman to
come along and say, that's just how they come
out of the box. God's got to work on your husband
as he purifies him and makes him zealous for
good deeds. And by the way, he's doing the same
work in you. So the older ladies, because sometimes
we think we're the only people that's ever experienced
this. So the older ladies can relate to the frustration
these younger ladies had in a way that a pastor
never could. I mean, these are not the first
women to have difficult moments in their marriage.
To have marital conflict, let me just say this,
is common to every marriage. And the older ladies
can help the younger ladies navigate those waters.
How do they do that? They're correcting misconceptions.
There's many misconceptions that abound about
motherhood and also about marriage. And the younger
ones are still clinging to that. Maybe they've
been influenced more by culture than Christ.
So they need to be taught, first of all, and
this is a hard lesson, but it's true, ladies.
They need to be taught that love can be learned.
Your emotions have to be governed by right thinking.
The younger ladies, their emotions are not always
reliable, nor are they ultimate. Truth and commitment
are. Right thinking should come before right
feeling. What do I mean by that? If you set your
mind on the truth and you begin to do loving
things, loving feelings will come. But some of
these ladies, keep in mind this is pre -Christian
era or dawn of the century here of the gospel,
they would have entered into an arranged marriage.
They didn't have romantic love for their husbands.
And by the way, the ancient world didn't care
a whole lot about romantic love or not. So they
needed to be taught, how are you going to correctly
love your husbands? And Paul is telling Titus
that it would help them not to wait for the emotion
of love to be present before they acted in love.
The truth is, You can serve your husband even
when you don't feel like it. Loving actions drive
the train. Loving feelings are the caboose bringing
up the rear. Our culture has reversed that. We
are bombarded with this messaging that says,
first of all, that the feeling of love is paramount.
That's what life's all about, particularly romantic,
marital life. So if you don't feel that spark,
that romantic love, well, get out of the marriage.
Life's too short. Find someone else who will
give you that spark. That's why we need an older
woman who can correct that type of garbage and
misunderstanding. God's calling for a Christian
young lady or older lady is that they live distinctive
lives and they adorn the doctrine, and this will
most clearly show up in the home. Again, I think
of some of these young ladies that Titus would
have been dealing with. No doubt some of them
were disillusioned in their marriages. They may
have thought, well, listen, I'm a Christian and
I married a Christian, so that should protect
us from marital challenges, right? No. See, that's
a misconception. Yeah, you're a Christian, but
you're still a sinner. Who's also married to
a sinner. And guess what? Your children, if the
Lord blesses you with those, they will be sinners.
Which is why being a mother is the most difficult
job in the world. And the older believing ladies
were to help these young ones, not only to love
their husbands, but Paul goes on, teach them
to love their children. This seems strange because
almost all parents have natural affection for
our children. But that does not mean that we
know how to love and guide them well. You can
have emotions for them and not really love them.
Because to love does not mean to feel. To love
your children means you're going to seek their
welfare and guide them into truth. Human flourishing,
we could say. So the goal of Christian parenting,
this ought to be your goal if you're a Christian,
is to raise your children to be disciples of
Christ. The older ladies teach the younger ones
to love their children in such a way that leads
them to being faithful to Christ. Because, listen,
there's all kinds of mixed messaging out there
now. A lot of really dumb ideas about parenting.
In other words, older ladies disciple the younger
ladies who will then disciple their children.
That's what we need. If you're a mom, you have
an important, precious job because you have been
trusted with the stewardship of your children's
souls. God's sovereign over salvation, but he
uses means. See, you can love your children and
love them in the wrong direction. You can love
your children all the way to hell. I mean, you
can love them too much where you never tell them
no and they never have a bad day and you're there
to rescue them every second of every moment of
every day. That doesn't turn out well. The goal
for most parents, sadly, even Christian ones,
is that their children simply be successful.
Now, obviously, I want my children to be successful.
But by success, they mean we'll get a good education,
get a good job, and hopefully have a happy family
one day. Christian parenting ought to have different
goals. We are to love our children so they are
useful in the kingdom of God. Young ladies, had
to be taught, don't live by feelings. Because
your feelings are going to lead you straight.
Live by faith in God's wisdom. See, it's not
your feelings. It's her devotion to Christ that
causes a Christian wife to be devoted to her
husband and her children, even when, and they
will be, ungrateful and uncaring. She's not looking
only for that reciprocal kickback, if you will.
But you say, why would a woman live like this?
This is hard. Verse 5, that the word of God be
not blasphemed. This is not about us. It's about
him. This adorns the gospel. It showcases the
beauty and glory of the Lord Jesus Christ, whom
we serve. And Paul goes on. He says he doesn't
stop there. Not only do they love their husbands,
love their children, but they are to be discreet,
he says. We'll go through this fairly quick.
It's sensible. Christian women should be characterized
by sound judgment and good sense. Then he goes
on. Chaste. Chaste. Chaste there is pure. Now
keep in mind something. Keep in mind the culture
that these ladies came from. Pagan culture, Crete.
Flaunted sexual expression. Heterosexuality was
considered prudish. This was an anything goes
culture. So most likely these women, if they're
first generation Christians, they would have
come from homes with mothers who did not teach
them how to be pure because that was not desired.
So they had to be taught. The importance of being
sexually chaste and faithful. So the older ladies,
now they've walked with the gospel, they've walked
with the Lord. They could help these younger
ladies with modesty. Help them to see beyond
the cultural lies. Help them to see that their
value came from the beauty of their faith and
not the beauty of their figure. See, part of
being pure, for a lady and for men, but for ladies,
is to focus more on how you live than how you
look. But our culture doesn't get that. These
ladies had been bought by Christ. They had been
washed. They had been made pure by the sacrifice
of Christ. They had been made new in Christ.
But they needed help in living out that identity
in their daily lives. Davy said, Paul is effectively
saying to these younger women, you may not have
had a reputation for being pure. Again, they
grew up in this culture. But you can have one
now. Purity may never have been associated with
your past lifestyle, but that can change in the
present. This is the gospel of grace. No matter
your past, the word pure can define you now.
This is what Jesus does. He makes all things
new. And Paul is saying, teach them. Teach them
how to be pure. Teach them how to be chaste.
But then he goes on, teach them how to be homemakers.
That's what the word says, literally keepers
at home. Now let's just be honest. This word
right here is anathema to our culture. If we
were looking at Paul today, he would be called
politically incorrect, chauvinistic, misogynistic,
a bigot. His advice, or let's be honest, his
admonition would seem prehistoric and out of
step with progress and advancement of women.
So ladies, let me ask you this question because
you do have a choice. This word we're going to
talk about, you can believe what the culture
says, or you can choose to believe what the word
of God says. But you can't believe both. See,
the word here is oikouros. It means literally
keeper at home, homemaker, guardian of the house.
Because it's derived from two words. You get
the word house or household or family. Oikos
and ouros, a watch, a guardian. So the Christian
mother is to guard the home. And watch over.
Not physically. That's not what we're talking
about. And it's not so much about her staying
in the home, but about her diligent, watchful
management of the home. She's a steward. She
stewards the resources that come into the home.
She watches over the influences allowed in the
home, particularly as it relates to her children.
But modern feminists are going to look at this
and tell women, well, this is bondage. This is
slavery. This is something you need to be freed
from rather than embrace. But Paul's not showing
a low view of women at all here. He's showing
a very high view of the home. God has created
women incredibly capable, industrious, endowed
them with many gifts. Seriously, my wife is far
more gifted than I in almost every way. But when
employed correctly in the home, that leads to
the family's flourishing. is to work hard at
providing an environment in which our husband
and children can thrive. Does this mean, what's
asked the question, does it mean that she cannot
ever hold a job outside the home? Not necessarily.
At this time in history, the wife may have helped
in the fields or in the vineyards. She may have
stewarded or watched over any servants that may
have been employed there. The home doesn't have
to be your only place. But it does have to be
her first place. Her home must be the priority.
And Paul is not very ambiguous about this. He
says, listen, you have to understand this is
where God, this is the influence, ladies. Don't,
do not, please, I beg of you, don't outsource
your influence to others. You guys have the influence.
Take advantage of that. God's given you such
a high, noble calling. He goes on saying they
need to be good and the word can be translated
good is actually kind. This is so important.
A wife can do her job well and still make others
miserable in the process. A godly lady will try
to speak with the law of kindness on her lips.
Daniel Doriani in his commentary, he says husbands
and children are frustrating. Therefore, these
young women must take care that the constant
strain of domestic duties does not make them
irritable. Or cruel. They must pray for grace
to remain kind. We have four children. My wife
stays home with them every day. Occasionally
I do. And when I do, I usually at the end of
the day, I tell her thank you. And I'm like,
really? No, I mean that. Thank you. You are so
much better than I. Because I think I'm patient.
I don't know why I think I am. But I think I
am until I spend the entire day with all four
of them. And by the end, I'm like, don't talk
to me. You forwarded the right to talk to me.
And I'm not kidding. I literally have said you
cannot ask me any more questions at this point.
None. And I don't even care if it's a dire one.
I'm not joking. But my wife does that every day.
And so I'm surprised she's not in a corner like
tapping her head or something like that. So you
can see, are you prone to be irritable? Yeah.
Are you prone to be naggy? Yeah. So kindness,
though, ladies, you're saying, well, I've got
to try harder. Well, try that. It's not going
to work. Kindness does not come by trying harder.
kindness is a fruit of God's spirit. It comes
by being filled with the spirit of God. The very
last one here, we start to close. This is another
big one that people will say amen to. I'm kidding.
The last item Paul mentions, he wants older Christian
women to teach young ones to be obedient to their
own husbands. Obedient. It's a military term.
To range in order under. Subordinate. So it's
the idea of here placing troops in rank under
an officer. That's what it literally says. They're
ranking under. I'm choosing to rank under. What's
Paul saying? Christian wives are to willingly
place themselves under the authority of their
husbands. You chose to marry a lady. Don't marry
a fool because you're going to place yourself
under a fool. You better know who you're marrying.
Husbands are not. Listen, husbands. This is one
thing I will say. We are not. called to force
our wives to submit. This whole hupotasso is
a voluntary submission. It can't be forced by
you. And by the way, this is not a call for all
women to be in subjection to all men because
notice the text, obedient to their own husbands.
A wife has to submit to her husband, not to you
if you're not her husband. The Christian lady
voluntarily does this under the protective leadership.
Why? To adorn the gospel. For the testimony's
sake. See, if society's going to be ordered,
everyone submits to someone. A child called to
submit to his parents. Student submits to his
teacher. Teacher submits to the principal. Employee
submits to employer. Congregants submit to their
elders. The wife submits to her husband. And
let me just say this. Be quick to say this. This
submission is not based on the character of the
one you're submitting to. For example. You may
be more talented, more godly than your husband,
but God has still placed him as the head of the
home. You're saying, how do I know that? 1 Corinthians
11 .3. I want you to know that the head of every
man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and
the head of Christ is God. The wise husband will
understand you can help your wives greatly, men,
by giving loving leadership and placing her needs
above your own. She's going to have a much easier
time submitting to you. Michael Foster wrote
this. He said, men should want a wife who follows
their lead, but that in no way makes her passive
or a non -influence. I don't want my wife to
be passive. I want to hear from her. Quite the
opposite. A passive and uninvolved wife will
undermine the beauty of the marital dance. The
magic of marriage is found in the interplay of
two individuals who dance according to their
sex, their unique roles, but yet they dance together.
So what he's saying, the wife's voluntary submission
to her husband, it's an act of worship offered
to her Lord. So ladies, your service to your
husband. Now listen, get this. As a Christian
lady, your service to your husband is your service
to Christ. It honors him. And marriage, that
beautiful romantic dance, it is mutually satisfying
when husband and wife both are submitted to the
Lord. And both make it their aim to please him.
And again, why did Paul command any of this?
Verse 5. That the word of God be not blasphemed.
This adorns the gospel and glorifies the Lord
who bought and rescued us. Now what? Let's close.
We read those stats at the beginning and it's
easy to get discouraged because we do see families
fractured and God's design for the home is mocked.
It's rejected. It's ridiculed. We live in a dark
culture, but we must remember, you and I are
not the first generation of Christians to face
these problems. Early Christians lived in a world
filled with immorality, broken homes, moral confusion
that was even worse than our own. They did. Yet
the gospel, the good news of Christ, the dunamis
of God, the power of God, the gospel changed
the world, not through political influence, by
the way, but through transformed lives, one life
at a time. The church will change the culture
when Christian men and Christian women live differently
according to the design that God has placed on
your life. The church will change the culture
when the marriages in the church look different
than the marriages in the world. See, the gospel
is transforming, and its transforming power is
seen when a husband will lovingly lead, a wife
will lovingly submit, and when children are raised
in the fear of God. We don't need to make it
hard or complicated. Jesus, remember, he died
to purify us and make us zealous for good works.
He died not only to forgive us, but to transform
us. Our ultimate goal in life is not merely to
have a happy home. That's far too short -sighted.
What's our ultimate goal? To glorify God and
enjoy him forever. We don't want the word of
God to be blasphemed by our lives. Our aim in
everything in life is that Jesus Christ the Son
of God who has died and risen for us, might be
exalted. As a church, the Lord will work through
ordinary Christians like ourselves, living obedient
lives in the midst of a very dark and crooked
generation. May our homes be a strong witness
to the grace and glory of the Lord Jesus Christ.
May his name be praised. Let's pray. Father,
we thank you for your word, and Lord, I am so
very grateful, Lord, for... That you gave us
your word so that we're not left in the dark
or uninformed about what you would have us to
do. Lord, the problem is not ignorance. The problem
is rebellion. It's not that we don't know what
to do, it's that we don't want to do it. And
Father, this is a problem. It's a problem in
our modern day as we hear with modern ears, Lord,
secular advice that, Lord, God will lead us to
hell. Lord, it's a terrible way. And yet, Lord,
your word. will always, because it's according
to your design, will lead to human flourishing.
Lord, I pray that, Lord, we would first of all
understand the gospel, how God has rescued us
in Christ, not through any effort of our own,
but simply by your grace. And Father, that you
have given us your spirit, not to simply forgive
us and bring us to heaven one day, but to transform
us here as sons and daughters of the living God,
to shine as children of the light who live in
the kingdom of light. Father, I pray if there
may be one here who's in darkness, whose faith
is merely a profession that James wrote about
earlier. Lord, wake them up before it's too late.
Lord, cause them to see eternal realities. Let
them understand the day of judgment that is coming,
Lord. And Father, I pray for Christian ladies
in here this morning, Lord. Some of this may
be hard to hear because they do live with a foolish
husband. Oh God, I pray that you give her courage
to be obedient to you, to find her strength in
you, Lord. that the law of kindness would be
on our lips, and Lord God, by without a word,
she might win her foolish husband. And then,
Father, I pray for those, Lord, who have marriages
that are strong, that, Lord God, that they would
continue, not just for their own aim of marital
happiness and bliss, but, Lord God, that we would
live our lives for the glory and honor of Christ,
to adorn your gospel, that, Lord, our lives are
living testaments to the transforming power of
Christ. God, we can't do this, Lord. We're impotent
on our own, Lord. We have no power. So, Father,
we're asking, Lord, for your spirit to work in
us. Give us grace to live these countercultural
lives for the glory of Christ, in whose name
we pray. Amen. We're going to come to the table
of the Lord. We do this every Lord's Day.