WEBVTT

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That's always who Tom Segura's been. He's telling

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you if I got bumped up, one of his main jokes,

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if I get bumped up to first class and even though

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I didn't pay for it, you try to come up there,

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I'm gonna put my hand on your chest. He was saying

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that when he was broke. So I can't imagine what

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you thought he was gonna be. He's exactly who

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he said he's gonna be. Welcome to Clown College,

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we have profound knowledge In many ways to elevate

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and make you sound polished So if you want to,

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hear a little honest A few takes on the ways

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to make it as a comic Then stick around for a

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while if you're down to clown We got the guests

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right now just to show you how Let's all go to

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Clown College, baby It's with Brandon, Vanessa,

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Don, and JJ Let's all go to Clown College, baby

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It's with Brandon Willis, Scott and JJ. It feels

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safer. Yeah. No, he said it happened, but he

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was like, what Pat doing here? I don't know what

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the fuck the nigga, what you doing here nigga?

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It's like we do a whole text. It'd be like that.

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I mean, you know, cause we never know. We never

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know when you're going to show up. You can show

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up like out of nowhere too. So it's always. That's

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my fault because I watch a lot of TV series and

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you know. We watch a lot of TV series, always

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that random motherfucker that always pops up

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at the house. You gotta make an entrance. Your

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black Kramer. Don't call me Kramer. Why? Because

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I ain't never watched Seinfeld. I thought he

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was gonna say - That's who you are. That's what

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you're describing. I never said the N -word on

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stage like that. It can kinda sound like, it

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almost sound like, nigga, hell, you're Kramer.

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Hell yeah, we're back at it. Another week down.

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Another week in the comedy scene. Let's go around

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the room and each say what we did in the comedy

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scene. Last week, not a goddamn thing. I don't

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think I did anything. Yeah, well last week I

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was at Chattanooga. Oh yeah, you headlined, yeah.

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Headlined, it was good. How long did you do?

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I did 11 minutes. 11 minutes and 30. Okay. Almost

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12 minutes. How long you supposed to do? 12 minutes.

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Then she gave me the lights, I was like, yeah,

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it's about time to get off. Oh, perfect. You

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hit him? Yes, I did. It was a good night. I had

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fun. I have a question. As a headliner, when

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it gave you the light, do you really give a fuck

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about that light? I ain't never headlined, so

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I'm asking the headliner. Well, it depends on

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how long you're doing. Like, if you're a headliner

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and you're doing an hour, it's pretty much whatever

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you want to do. But you got to know, I don't

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get why people try to go... way over when the

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crowd's tired, especially if you had an opener

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and a feature. Like, yeah, as a person who's

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been in a comedy audience, we should know when

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an audience is done. You could be the funniest

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motherfucker if you were up there for two or

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three hours. They're tired. But some people can

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do it, though. Some people can do that and still

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keep the crowd going and laughing. But most people

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who do it are the people who think they can do

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it, not the ones who know. Every one I've worked

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for at the club went over. Besides James McCann,

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he didn't. Ian, I don't think that. The white

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ones didn't. I think. Who was that? We saw a

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black fella. He was bigger. It wasn't Faison.

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We weren't hosting her. No, you're talking about

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Curry. Yes. Yeah, we saw him. DC. DC Curry. Yes.

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Yeah. Okay. I think so. And he went over, too,

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I think. But that was more they were in for it,

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but even still, it is a long time. I ain't gonna

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lie. Now DC could go over, I'm with it. I ain't

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gonna fuck this shit. No, DC, DC. He old as shit

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now, but he is still a monster. But the older

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black comedians be the funnest one to me. I remember

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when George Wallace had that little show for

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a second, and I forgot the name of that motherfucker.

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It only lasted one season. But I could tell he

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didn't really have a script. He just said what

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the fuck he always said. That shit be funny as

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hell. Yeah, because they're not trying to prove

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anything. I like that's why the old guys are

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like the best like because they don't got shit

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to prove. They ain't abiding by your fucking

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rules. They have their list of clubs that they've

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been going to for the last 25 years and they

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ain't nobody putting them in no movies. So which

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is crazy? Why wouldn't like if you were a young

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director now? Why aren't you looking at these

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like and fuck like I want to work with them Like

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that's what I want to do in our level You gotta

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you gotta be internet famous you gotta be internet.

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Yeah to make it like well unless you already

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grandfathered into it Like, you got the old,

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you know, the old hairliners, a lot of people

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don't know who they are, but they're still, like,

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killers. Yeah, but they have the network established.

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But that network is, I mean, like, these comedy

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clubs aren't doing amazing, like, across the,

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you know what I mean? Like, that's just from

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what I understand. Like, I can't imagine their

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fucking drowning in money. I will say, though,

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I like working at the comedy club because...

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They put comedians on stage that I probably would

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never know if I wasn't doing my research. Oh,

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for sure. Oh, yeah. Ours is that place, yeah.

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Especially the Kill Tony people that come by.

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They are funny? Oh, yeah. I like most of them.

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Which one? The ones that come to the club, I

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feel like. Oh, snap. Karen Patterson, he was

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a good one. Oh, yeah. He's on SNL. That's crazy

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that we got him. He's on SNL. Like, that's pretty

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cool, like, that he's around here. Matter of

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fact, it was a lady came here. Let me get my

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phone. I don't want to say her name wrong. From

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Kill Tony? Yeah, but she was open. Was she glasses?

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Fiona Colley? Was she in the wheelchair? No,

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no, it was a black lady. She was a she she she

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lives off that she did kill Tony. But she was

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very funny. She bigger with an afro. Now she

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got like dreads. It might be the same person.

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It might be. No, I don't know. They have it.

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They have it. I don't think she's like a regular,

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but she'd be on there a lot. I haven't watched

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it in a long time. Yeah, I haven't either. I

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haven't really even seen much about it, like

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in the algorithm. Same, it's been a minute. I

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don't know about Kelthony through y 'all. Yeah,

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I used to watch it when my boy put me on and

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then I just ain't watched it in a long time.

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I ain't watched no comedy for real. Yeah, I tuned

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into one of those. I tuned into podcast cringe

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the other day just to see what the drama was.

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Those things are so good. They're so silly. And

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it's so mean. I don't like that part. It's so

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fucking mean, y 'all. I disagree with them. I

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don't know which one it even is because there's

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so many of them now. And like you put one on

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and then like trying to tell you why this person

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sucks. I'm like, you're just wrong. You just

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don't understand. Tom Segura has lost the plot.

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It's like, dude, he's a millionaire. Very successful.

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That's who Tom was when he wasn't. fame when

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he wasn't rich. That's always who Tom Segora's

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been. He's telling you if I got bumped up, one

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of his main jokes, if I get bumped up to first

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class and even though I didn't pay for it and

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you try to come up there, I'm gonna put my hand

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on your chest. He was saying that when he was

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broke. So I can't imagine what you thought he

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was gonna be. He's exactly who he said he was

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gonna be. I'm not gonna lie to you. This is just

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my take. I think Netflix kind of ruined comedy

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for me a little bit. Stand up. Stand up. It did

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overdo it, for sure. Because they paying these

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guys to do it, but it's like they're catering

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more to the system. Oh, yeah, for sure. Instead

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of just being funny. I mean, that whole, what

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was it, the star search thing was a clear example

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of that when we saw Good Cop, Rad Cop. Oh, yeah.

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That was our network TV type of... censorship

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on that one. Yeah that was it was like so I couldn't

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believe like cuz even even though you're right

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Netflix is that mainstream shit now like I still

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you know have a little hope in my heart that

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you know they're they're the underdog no they're

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the fucking main ones in Hollywood they fucking

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yeah. I'll be honest with you like even though

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I didn't watch it like that I like Comedy Central

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because when they put a special together they

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not It's a comedy. It's a comedy channel. Yes.

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That was when it was a special, like a real special.

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Because like now, it's like people have to catch

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up with how famous they are, how good they are

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at stand -up. So you could be like the most famous

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podcast in the world. Who is a stand -up? But

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you know, you're special. You probably don't

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want to release it if you don't have an hour.

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You still don't have an hour, no matter how famous

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you are. I know they're going to tell you to

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fucking put this special out. But you got some

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of those. You're like, dude, you could have worked

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on that. Yeah, true. If you got crowds that like

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you, like if you go to a crowd, whoever it is,

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if they're big, Theo Vaughn, he goes to a crowd,

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they already wanna like him. Everybody knows

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who Theo is, so it's hard for him to find out

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what's really funny, because people who put your

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standup on, they might not know who you are or

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know you like that, and they're like, ah, this

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ain't really it. Yeah, that's one thing. And

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then also, shit. I don't understand why they

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put out so many specials in so little time. I

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mean, it literally makes people at our level

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be like, oh no, I'm saving that joke for a special.

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I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

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Not even that. How I thought he used to go back

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in the day, let's say Chris Rock dropped a special

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back in the day. What was the first one he did?

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Bring the pain? Bring the pain, I think. Yeah.

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I mean, that was like a fucking cultural moment.

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But I'm saying, how long did he wait before he

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dropped the next special? Bigger and blacker.

00:09:36.149 --> 00:09:39.289
Wow. I mean, a few years, couple years. Over

00:09:39.289 --> 00:09:41.570
that, over three years. Yeah, he went out and

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lived. He went out and made movies. He went out

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and had fun. You know what I'm saying? He was

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me and him. It's like, if you signed a deal with

00:09:47.549 --> 00:09:49.549
Netflix to release so many specials, you got

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to do it in so many time frames. You don't got

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time to live. And that's where you get the jokes

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and experiences from. Exactly. And it disconnects

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them slowly. It starts little, and then they

00:09:59.730 --> 00:10:01.629
just become more and more disconnected, for sure.

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Yeah, because that's what I tell, like when Charles

00:10:03.639 --> 00:10:04.919
went out there, I'm like, I know you're going

00:10:04.919 --> 00:10:07.139
out there for the stand up, but goddamn it, live.

00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:10.419
Like you got to live. Like in New York, putting

00:10:10.419 --> 00:10:12.500
yourself all alone. You got to get addicted to

00:10:12.500 --> 00:10:15.840
heroin. Yeah, for real. Smoke two packs a day.

00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:17.600
You have to live. And then come back here and

00:10:17.600 --> 00:10:21.399
tear it up. Get robbed. Yeah. He's not going

00:10:21.399 --> 00:10:22.659
to have a problem with that. Oh yeah, we just

00:10:22.659 --> 00:10:24.320
need to try that. Yeah, Charles is definitely

00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:26.919
going to get robbed. Someone say his living situation.

00:10:27.659 --> 00:10:29.679
I don't think he can handle a stabbing. He's

00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:32.080
too frail. It would go between all his important,

00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:34.679
because he's so skinny. It would just slip in

00:10:34.679 --> 00:10:37.419
between his organs. He'd be fine. Have you ever

00:10:37.419 --> 00:10:40.539
seen Passion of the Christ? Have you guys ever

00:10:40.539 --> 00:10:42.360
seen that? What's that about? Passion of the

00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:46.159
Christ? I saw it once. I don't remember that

00:10:46.159 --> 00:10:49.309
shit. It's a movie about Jesus. It's his story.

00:10:49.370 --> 00:10:51.409
It's his story. It's Jesus's story passion of

00:10:51.409 --> 00:11:05.529
the Christ do make one of them Yeah, but that's

00:11:05.529 --> 00:11:07.740
how When he got stabbed with the spear, that's

00:11:07.740 --> 00:11:10.799
how Charles would be when he got stabbed. I don't

00:11:10.799 --> 00:11:13.639
even know. I haven't seen the movie in so long.

00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:15.559
What was it, like an orgasmic? It almost looked

00:11:15.559 --> 00:11:18.960
like dust came out. He was so frail. If I remember

00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:20.759
correctly. Oh, you're right. It came out in 2004.

00:11:21.700 --> 00:11:23.860
Oh, shit. You turned it into Brandon. You're

00:11:23.860 --> 00:11:25.259
getting dates right. You ready to let him do

00:11:25.259 --> 00:11:27.139
that? You know what? Hey, welcome to the club.

00:11:28.779 --> 00:11:31.100
I thought that was completely different. I looked

00:11:31.100 --> 00:11:33.600
at the picture. Yeah, that's about it. Mel Gibson,

00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:36.200
one of his. That's about it. I miss those old

00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:38.919
nostalgic movies back in day -to -day life. Nostalgic

00:11:38.919 --> 00:11:41.980
movies is about the Bible. No, not that shit.

00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:44.899
I'm talking about the stuff that is like, I remember

00:11:44.899 --> 00:11:47.460
as a kid, I used to grow up. We had Comcast and

00:11:47.460 --> 00:11:50.700
you got HBO and Max Channel. You'll find decent

00:11:50.700 --> 00:11:52.620
movies. That's how I found Phonebooth. I will

00:11:52.620 --> 00:11:58.279
know. Phonebooth? What's his name? Uh, shit.

00:11:58.759 --> 00:12:00.580
What's that guy's name? Irish nigga. From the

00:12:00.580 --> 00:12:06.320
Lobster. Colin Farrell. It's the first time Colin

00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:08.299
Farrell's ever been called that. He was in a

00:12:08.299 --> 00:12:10.799
phone booth and the guy was making him do shit

00:12:10.799 --> 00:12:13.559
while he was in the phone booth. I was thinking

00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:16.700
about it. Nothing weird. He was a guy that lived

00:12:16.700 --> 00:12:19.519
the fuck. I need to fix my mind, man. I know,

00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:21.899
right? Freaky ass niggas. I know. First passion,

00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:25.309
now this. He was just a guy who wasn't... all

00:12:25.309 --> 00:12:27.149
together guy, you know this white, doing some

00:12:27.149 --> 00:12:29.129
other shit, and a guy was basically torturing

00:12:29.129 --> 00:12:33.090
him, making him do shit. Doof. So Brandon, if

00:12:33.090 --> 00:12:35.789
your wife cheats on you, is it okay to beat her?

00:12:36.549 --> 00:12:43.970
To beat? Yeah. Can you beat her? That's crazy.

00:12:43.990 --> 00:12:46.149
I ain't gonna lie. That's a wild challenge, bro.

00:12:46.250 --> 00:12:48.210
No, I'm just asking, is it okay? I'm just saying,

00:12:48.450 --> 00:12:51.070
I'm not saying you personally, I'm just, is it

00:12:51.070 --> 00:12:54.370
okay? You come in. your old lady or if it was

00:12:54.370 --> 00:12:57.389
a man if that's you know whatever you do and

00:12:57.389 --> 00:13:02.850
cheating on you is it okay to beat them man you

00:13:02.850 --> 00:13:09.450
know what do y 'all think i mean man that's that's

00:13:09.450 --> 00:13:12.710
the man so in in the house and everything in

00:13:12.710 --> 00:13:14.750
your bed in your house that you paying for you

00:13:14.750 --> 00:13:18.029
just moved into your new apartment She makin'

00:13:18.070 --> 00:13:19.870
that noise when that dick touch the back of that

00:13:19.870 --> 00:13:25.690
throat. And you just hear every... Man. Man,

00:13:26.110 --> 00:13:29.070
that's a tough... Hold on. Hold on. This is a

00:13:29.070 --> 00:13:32.669
good one. What's more appropriate? What's better,

00:13:33.250 --> 00:13:37.200
beating or killing? Beating. I don't think nobody

00:13:37.200 --> 00:13:40.120
should die. I mean, if you think about it, I

00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:42.320
think you get more respect if you, if you kill

00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:45.460
them both. I mean, yeah. Then if you. If you

00:13:45.460 --> 00:13:47.200
beat her ass and go to jail while you in jail,

00:13:47.379 --> 00:13:48.860
she still get, she maybe bruised up, but she

00:13:48.860 --> 00:13:50.860
still get a dick down. But if you shoot her in

00:13:50.860 --> 00:13:52.539
the head, you might get off of crime of passion

00:13:52.539 --> 00:13:56.100
and she ain't fucking nobody else. He say you

00:13:56.100 --> 00:13:58.940
get off. You don't go to a passion man. I mean

00:13:58.940 --> 00:14:01.120
I have to look up the laws in Alabama. Well,

00:14:01.279 --> 00:14:05.320
probably now that we said this you But otherwise,

00:14:05.320 --> 00:14:08.340
yeah, man, that's man. I mean that's not okay.

00:14:08.340 --> 00:14:10.659
No go in there and they they just cracking it

00:14:10.659 --> 00:14:12.799
down busting it You hear everything everything

00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:15.379
screaming you think that somebody you ain't never

00:14:15.379 --> 00:14:22.480
heard. I know you think somebody But then again

00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:26.879
to play devil's advocate it also depends on Are

00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:28.740
you splitting the bills or you paying all the

00:14:28.740 --> 00:14:31.879
bills? I don't think I mean I really and in that

00:14:31.879 --> 00:14:34.139
moment I don't think it matters that much. Yeah,

00:14:34.360 --> 00:14:36.299
cuz you're gonna be shocked I'm saying which

00:14:36.299 --> 00:14:39.460
one is which one is better to be there or To

00:14:39.460 --> 00:14:42.039
beat both of them or to kill both of them whatever

00:14:42.039 --> 00:14:45.740
satisfy her needs at that moment Cuz I've got

00:14:45.740 --> 00:14:47.279
some guys who want to beat their way but not

00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:48.960
kill her cuz they still want to be with her Yeah,

00:14:48.960 --> 00:14:51.340
that's true. I already told that like I'm not

00:14:51.340 --> 00:14:53.460
gonna hurt them in any way, but they will never

00:14:53.460 --> 00:14:58.629
financially recover I'm destroying their personal

00:14:58.629 --> 00:15:02.570
property. Oh, I would go literal. It would be

00:15:02.570 --> 00:15:05.210
crazy. It would look like a fucking like they

00:15:05.210 --> 00:15:08.850
got robbed. Yeah. I'd be so mad. I'd look him

00:15:08.850 --> 00:15:11.090
in the eye as they did it. I wouldn't give a

00:15:11.090 --> 00:15:14.309
fuck, dude. So you the bad bitch in a relationship.

00:15:16.809 --> 00:15:19.649
I'd be in a shower cap throwing their clothes

00:15:19.649 --> 00:15:22.629
out the window. It'd be like that with a robo.

00:15:22.710 --> 00:15:24.909
Yeah, dude, it'd be like that. It'd be like that.

00:15:25.389 --> 00:15:31.629
So which one Brandon? Man, um... You just don't

00:15:31.629 --> 00:15:32.870
want to pay because you're going to whoop your

00:15:32.870 --> 00:15:37.389
ass. I'm not saying, I'm not saying... Hypothetical.

00:15:38.490 --> 00:15:41.190
Hypothetical if you came in, because you know,

00:15:41.269 --> 00:15:44.909
saying you in your crib that you pay for and

00:15:44.909 --> 00:15:47.100
they in your bed. You're in your hypothetical.

00:15:47.460 --> 00:15:49.460
Man, I guess hypothetically in that situation,

00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:51.460
I mean, I guess it depends how mad I am. I'll

00:15:51.460 --> 00:15:53.379
add it. You gotta give me an answer, Brandon.

00:15:53.580 --> 00:15:57.000
Which one? I guess beat. I mean, probably beat,

00:15:57.000 --> 00:15:59.299
man. You beat women. That's fine. Oh, no, I don't.

00:15:59.379 --> 00:16:02.120
No, nobody beat nobody. If it's a surprise, I

00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:04.580
don't know. Like, if I literally had no idea

00:16:04.580 --> 00:16:07.539
it was happening, I can't say what I'd do, because

00:16:07.539 --> 00:16:09.299
I might literally go insane. Yeah, who knows?

00:16:09.559 --> 00:16:13.269
But if you sensed it... You know if you knew

00:16:13.269 --> 00:16:15.389
it was coming like that is the thing if you like

00:16:15.389 --> 00:16:17.129
if you guys are already having a falling out

00:16:17.129 --> 00:16:19.049
And then you're like she probably out there cheating.

00:16:19.129 --> 00:16:21.309
That's a different. That's honestly like a get

00:16:21.309 --> 00:16:23.429
-at -jail -free card. Oh cool Hell yeah, but

00:16:23.429 --> 00:16:25.529
it but if it's like you you you thought you were

00:16:25.529 --> 00:16:33.230
madly love That's when the murder murder was

00:16:33.230 --> 00:16:37.990
on my mind I got murder on my, what's that song?

00:16:38.149 --> 00:16:41.789
That's a fuckin' banger. He's in prison for that

00:16:41.789 --> 00:16:45.470
murder. He's in jail, he's still. I got murder

00:16:45.470 --> 00:16:48.090
on my mind. YMH melody. Oh, I never heard this

00:16:48.090 --> 00:16:49.169
song, I know what you're talking about. You never

00:16:49.169 --> 00:16:51.889
heard Murder on My Mind? No, it's so fucked up.

00:16:51.909 --> 00:16:54.929
That'll be the outro song. It's so good, and

00:16:54.929 --> 00:16:56.710
he's literally talking about a murder that he

00:16:56.710 --> 00:16:59.049
committed, and actually it was an accident. He's

00:16:59.049 --> 00:17:01.090
rapping it, and he gets to the point, he's not

00:17:01.090 --> 00:17:03.710
rhyming, he's just telling you, well the murder

00:17:03.710 --> 00:17:06.559
went in. rapping about the murder, and they got

00:17:06.559 --> 00:17:08.259
the evidence. Why the fuck he ain't convicted

00:17:08.259 --> 00:17:10.880
yet? Well, I mean, he's in there. He's in there

00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:12.680
for, like, multiple murders. He killed two of

00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:14.779
his best friends. Right, but it's like they can't

00:17:14.779 --> 00:17:17.019
convict him. Like, the first trial, it was, uh...

00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:19.920
I love how he knows everything. He doesn't know

00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:21.700
the song, he knows everything about the trial.

00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:24.819
Because that's today's rappers. Today's rappers,

00:17:24.819 --> 00:17:26.140
they don't get famous until they get fucking

00:17:26.140 --> 00:17:28.779
locked up. See, that's the thing. It's so dumb.

00:17:28.900 --> 00:17:32.099
I don't understand it. You rap, and you know

00:17:32.099 --> 00:17:33.819
what I'm saying, you in that life, you know about

00:17:33.819 --> 00:17:35.660
the street life, and then you get the fuck out.

00:17:36.319 --> 00:17:38.839
I mean, there's a model for it now. Gangsta rap,

00:17:39.019 --> 00:17:42.619
goddamn fucking Ice Cube was NWA, fuck the police,

00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:46.829
and now he's making kids movies. Gangsta rap

00:17:46.829 --> 00:17:49.289
is different from drill music. It is it is I

00:17:49.289 --> 00:17:51.109
don't I don't like that I do like some of the

00:17:51.109 --> 00:17:53.089
songs But I don't want all my music you should

00:17:53.089 --> 00:17:55.289
be listening all you got to realize a lot of

00:17:55.289 --> 00:17:56.829
these niggas that's getting out It's not the

00:17:56.829 --> 00:17:59.289
fact that they can't get out It's the fact that

00:17:59.289 --> 00:18:02.210
yeah, they got a hot song on on the net on you

00:18:02.210 --> 00:18:04.029
know Apple music whatever But they're not sound

00:18:04.029 --> 00:18:06.069
to a major label and they don't there's no that

00:18:06.069 --> 00:18:08.789
but that gets you more money if you do it on

00:18:08.789 --> 00:18:10.930
Spotify and shit that the dude was just talking

00:18:10.930 --> 00:18:12.690
about cuz Snoop Dogg or somebody was complaining

00:18:12.690 --> 00:18:15.519
about not getting royalties only getting a certain

00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:18.059
amount of royalties from the most most uh stream

00:18:18.059 --> 00:18:20.539
songs see but i feel like they don't get they're

00:18:20.539 --> 00:18:23.660
they're not doing like they are independent but

00:18:23.660 --> 00:18:26.000
i bet i'm gonna guess like to get their song

00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:27.960
on a thing but that's what they go through someone

00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:29.940
and so they're getting fucked but that's what

00:18:29.940 --> 00:18:32.559
happens when your role manager your producer

00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:34.880
and your boss is in the streets with you selling

00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:38.279
those you gotta somebody gotta have a regular

00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:40.039
nine to five tell me what not to do this you

00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:44.710
need a white jew within your current 100%. And

00:18:44.710 --> 00:18:47.730
then once you get a little nest in egg, you can

00:18:47.730 --> 00:18:50.430
hustle legally and make so much more money. Because

00:18:50.430 --> 00:18:53.690
they're robbing us. I mean, you know the system.

00:18:53.690 --> 00:18:56.029
You can play it and then make way more money

00:18:56.029 --> 00:18:57.730
than just dealing drugs. That's just all you

00:18:57.730 --> 00:19:00.630
know. So like, my boy spoke. He don't know anything.

00:19:00.849 --> 00:19:03.650
But if you ask him what 10 times 10 is, swear

00:19:03.650 --> 00:19:05.529
to God, he'd be like, oh, man, here you go. You

00:19:05.529 --> 00:19:07.789
know what I'm saying? He won't answer. But if

00:19:07.789 --> 00:19:10.529
you say if you broke a key down and you paid

00:19:10.529 --> 00:19:14.319
34 for, how many? is how much are you gonna sell

00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:15.900
ounce for? He could tell you just like that.

00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:19.779
So you got to convert that to, you got to convert

00:19:19.779 --> 00:19:22.039
it to - Translate it. Yeah, translate it to something

00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:24.299
else that they can understand. And that gives

00:19:24.299 --> 00:19:26.339
them the same feeling. Same feeling, yeah. Because

00:19:26.339 --> 00:19:27.920
if you're sitting there looking at the computer

00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:31.859
and be like, damn, I just made $500 ,000 in six

00:19:31.859 --> 00:19:34.099
months. Now it takes a while to, you got to watch

00:19:34.099 --> 00:19:36.059
that for six months, but. Come on, that's more

00:19:36.059 --> 00:19:37.779
than you can make six months selling. I mean,

00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:39.500
and not getting caught. Like, man, taking the

00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:41.180
losses. Put these crack dealers on the stock

00:19:41.180 --> 00:19:44.420
market, dude. And see, dude, see how quickly

00:19:44.420 --> 00:19:47.759
he becomes socialist. Black crack heads started

00:19:47.759 --> 00:19:49.720
investing. Black crack heads. Crack dealers.

00:19:49.720 --> 00:19:52.079
Crack dealers. See how quick Donald Trump goes

00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:53.380
communist. One rapper from drill music that made

00:19:53.380 --> 00:19:57.000
it out, and he's doing great. Chief Key. Oh yeah,

00:19:57.200 --> 00:19:59.440
but he made it out and what'd he do? He moved

00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:01.000
his ass to LA and start playing video games.

00:20:01.380 --> 00:20:03.579
That's what you're supposed to fucking do. That's

00:20:03.579 --> 00:20:04.779
what you're supposed to do. They with Soulja

00:20:04.779 --> 00:20:06.880
Boy now, he's doing the same thing. Because I

00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:09.220
ain't never sold no dope, but I have members

00:20:09.220 --> 00:20:12.759
of my family who did, and I was told that you're

00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:15.640
not supposed to like doing that shit. It's the

00:20:15.640 --> 00:20:18.559
worst I so I don't think they like it. No, they

00:20:18.559 --> 00:20:21.759
like you know, they do They love they love like

00:20:21.759 --> 00:20:24.299
keep on keep on made a fire album about some

00:20:24.299 --> 00:20:26.299
murders. He actually did well, that's murder

00:20:26.299 --> 00:20:28.299
It's different selling dope. Yeah, that's different

00:20:28.299 --> 00:20:30.559
No, I'm saying but that whole life that a selling

00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:32.700
dope killer niggas from another block They love

00:20:32.700 --> 00:20:34.940
is it like they love it or is it like a guy who's

00:20:34.940 --> 00:20:37.740
been in jail for 40 years? He can't knows nothing

00:20:37.740 --> 00:20:40.170
else. Yeah, the kids Yeah, they know nothing

00:20:40.170 --> 00:20:41.349
else. That's what I'm saying. That's what they

00:20:41.349 --> 00:20:42.869
grew up in. They grew up in an old block. It's

00:20:42.869 --> 00:20:45.069
like, you walk outside, you know what I'm saying?

00:20:45.130 --> 00:20:46.990
You in the shit. I mean, imagine, like, you're

00:20:46.990 --> 00:20:51.710
born in Huntsville. Like, imagine such a smaller,

00:20:51.970 --> 00:20:54.730
worse area to be all you know. Like, yeah. And

00:20:54.730 --> 00:20:56.890
then, like, when you're over there, you don't,

00:20:57.029 --> 00:20:59.210
you be like, oh, you live in Chicago. You go

00:20:59.210 --> 00:21:01.140
downtown. I'm probably not. You know what I'm

00:21:01.140 --> 00:21:03.119
saying? It's a deal when you go downtown and

00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:06.380
go to these nice places. When I see Chicago,

00:21:06.619 --> 00:21:08.680
because I got friends that live in Chicago, when

00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:10.859
I be seen, that shit be looking lovely. Oh, Chicago

00:21:10.859 --> 00:21:14.079
is the most... That's Schomburg. Dude, it's the

00:21:14.079 --> 00:21:16.319
most beautiful, like the downtown Chicago is

00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:18.440
one of the most beautiful things you're ever

00:21:18.440 --> 00:21:20.240
going to see. Better than Manhattan? I don't

00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:22.460
know, I never been to Manhattan. but I'm just

00:21:22.460 --> 00:21:24.400
saying like, but it probably is better because

00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:26.480
it's less congested and it's easier to get around.

00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:30.960
But like the city of Chicago is so beautiful

00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:34.640
and the suburbs on the outside and you got a

00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:37.000
bad spot. You know what I'm saying? And that

00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:38.559
gives it a bad name. That's how they all are.

00:21:38.680 --> 00:21:41.220
It's like five places in the city, like neighborhoods

00:21:41.220 --> 00:21:43.539
that they literally contain it in. Yeah. The

00:21:43.539 --> 00:21:45.700
police like have like a deal or so. I don't know

00:21:45.700 --> 00:21:47.220
what they do, dude. You stay in here, you ain't

00:21:47.220 --> 00:21:49.319
gonna get fucked with. Like if you go out there,

00:21:49.359 --> 00:21:50.740
don't fuck around in the nice neighborhoods.

00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:53.180
Yeah. And then in Chicago, I'm sure it's the

00:21:53.180 --> 00:21:55.079
same thing where it will be the worst hood you've

00:21:55.079 --> 00:21:58.059
ever seen. And then two blocks away is like mansions.

00:21:58.099 --> 00:21:59.539
That's what I hope they do around here. Get these.

00:21:59.720 --> 00:22:01.500
fucking meth heads out of my goddamn corner.

00:22:02.740 --> 00:22:05.299
I'm about to turn into the fucking Karen. I'm

00:22:05.299 --> 00:22:06.980
about to call the police and be like, I'm gonna

00:22:06.980 --> 00:22:08.380
lay out here again. You got meth heads in the

00:22:08.380 --> 00:22:10.079
neighborhood? Right over there? You don't see

00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:11.940
I always have shit on they fucking lot and shit?

00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:14.099
They have a, they have a, they literally have

00:22:14.099 --> 00:22:17.710
a yard sale. every week, because they steal.

00:22:18.930 --> 00:22:21.410
And the roof has like some kind of putty on it.

00:22:21.769 --> 00:22:23.769
I don't know what's going on over there, but

00:22:23.769 --> 00:22:25.730
they were arguing and it was a meth argue. You

00:22:25.730 --> 00:22:27.569
know what I'm saying? When the pants is falling

00:22:27.569 --> 00:22:29.069
down, because like far away, you'd be like, damn,

00:22:29.130 --> 00:22:31.029
she bad. You get up, oh. They're kind of jumping

00:22:31.029 --> 00:22:33.569
around. Oh, you're just skinny because you're

00:22:33.569 --> 00:22:35.930
a meth. But I ain't gonna lie, though. I would

00:22:35.930 --> 00:22:39.089
take his hood into the hood I grew up in. What

00:22:39.089 --> 00:22:42.799
hood? This isn't the hood. No, I'm just, I'm

00:22:42.799 --> 00:22:44.740
just, I'm just complaining about one. This is

00:22:44.740 --> 00:22:46.039
white hood, this is white hood, bro. No, this

00:22:46.039 --> 00:22:48.180
is Mexicans. Man, he got meth heads. Yeah, this

00:22:48.180 --> 00:22:50.319
is the suburb, this is the suburb. I ain't seen

00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:51.640
no white, the only white people is these old

00:22:51.640 --> 00:22:53.299
white people on the corner, the rest are Mexicans.

00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:54.119
There's a little Mexican over here. Well, he

00:22:54.119 --> 00:22:55.900
live in the Mexican hood, they got meth heads.

00:22:56.680 --> 00:22:58.839
Well, that's the other white people. So we gotta

00:22:58.839 --> 00:23:00.279
get you, we just get rid of the whites, cause

00:23:00.279 --> 00:23:02.480
the old lady won't talk to me. I've been waving

00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:04.220
at, I've been, you know when you're like driving

00:23:04.220 --> 00:23:05.940
and you try to do the wave, you're like, oh,

00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:07.740
they see me this time and she always looks away.

00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:10.319
I'm like, fuck this bitch. Got this little old

00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:16.880
Kobe fro. Don't wanna wave at me. She probably

00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:19.640
thinks I'm one of them. You kinda do look like

00:23:19.640 --> 00:23:22.500
one of them. Yeah, I've been told that. Bigger

00:23:22.500 --> 00:23:26.319
though. That's what separates, like I get Dominican

00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:30.839
and Puerto Rican. Samoan. Dude, when I was in

00:23:30.839 --> 00:23:34.940
Zany's, I went to the room Scott was going in,

00:23:35.099 --> 00:23:36.720
because that's where Dusty Slay was. He wasn't

00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:40.079
in there, though. I was just using Scott to get

00:23:40.079 --> 00:23:41.619
in there. I was like, all right. So I was talking

00:23:41.619 --> 00:23:43.819
to a dude who was on that show. It was a clean

00:23:43.819 --> 00:23:47.279
show. And I looked at him. I was like, you like

00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:49.240
me? He was like, what you mean? I was like, you

00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:52.039
like me? I was like, mix? He was like, nah. He's

00:23:52.039 --> 00:23:53.900
like, I'm Dominican. I was like, oh, me no black.

00:23:54.460 --> 00:23:58.700
He was like, dude. That's a stereotype, and we

00:23:58.700 --> 00:24:03.660
hate that he did that. That's what he's saying.

00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:08.220
I know some Dominicans, and I don't remember

00:24:08.220 --> 00:24:10.019
ever saying me no black, but they do wear the

00:24:10.019 --> 00:24:11.900
tightest clothes. That's why I confuse me about

00:24:11.900 --> 00:24:13.700
him, because he was wearing baggy clothes. I'm

00:24:13.700 --> 00:24:15.900
like, I've never seen a Dominican without the

00:24:15.900 --> 00:24:17.400
tightest jeans you've ever seen in your life,

00:24:17.480 --> 00:24:20.000
and completely straight. Completely straight

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:23.400
eyebrows, done. They'll beat up a gay. Yeah.

00:24:23.619 --> 00:24:27.210
Oh, yeah. Gays can fight. Yes, they can do I've

00:24:27.210 --> 00:24:31.130
seen I've seen plenty of them whoop ass One of

00:24:31.130 --> 00:24:32.630
the news of the protector in the middle school

00:24:32.630 --> 00:24:35.609
for the foster kids. I remember that huh? Okay,

00:24:35.710 --> 00:24:38.789
so we had a We have group foster kids that will

00:24:38.789 --> 00:24:41.529
come in there like and learn. Yeah. Yeah, they

00:24:41.529 --> 00:24:47.349
will pull up in a truck school Yeah, they will

00:24:47.349 --> 00:24:48.950
pull like I remember one time I saw them and

00:24:48.950 --> 00:24:50.890
they're like man, you can't drive and shit But

00:24:50.890 --> 00:24:53.440
fuck that I was trying to learn How old were

00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:57.039
you? Uh, probably 18. Nah, I was like, I had

00:24:57.039 --> 00:24:59.279
to be like 13. Oh. Because this is like, this

00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:01.619
is like my fruit. No, no, no, no. Wait a minute.

00:25:01.819 --> 00:25:05.099
Freshman's 14. 14. I had to be 14. Freshman where?

00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:06.720
Because I remember I was driving. Brandon, you

00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:07.859
skipped a lot of store. What do you mean you

00:25:07.859 --> 00:25:11.059
can't drive? So I was driving with my, so, okay,

00:25:11.180 --> 00:25:13.240
so I never drove in my life, right? And one day

00:25:13.240 --> 00:25:14.880
I'm just sitting in there cause my friend, his

00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:17.640
uncle would always like drive me. And one day

00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:19.680
he started, I guess he started doing some stuff

00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:22.099
he wasn't supposed to. Now I'm ready to clarify.

00:25:23.180 --> 00:25:25.700
Please clarify. Some type of drugs. Okay, thank

00:25:25.700 --> 00:25:27.900
God. Stuff like that. And one time we were driving

00:25:27.900 --> 00:25:29.859
and he just looked at me, he said, you know what,

00:25:30.099 --> 00:25:31.539
you wanna learn how to drive right now? And I

00:25:31.539 --> 00:25:32.980
said, hell yeah. And he just got out the car

00:25:32.980 --> 00:25:36.000
with his coffee. And he said, put your pedal

00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:37.700
on the metal, so I'm pushing, going like. That

00:25:37.700 --> 00:25:39.980
nigga was so high he couldn't drive. It was whiskey.

00:25:40.140 --> 00:25:44.660
It was whiskey. But I kept going. I would go

00:25:44.660 --> 00:25:46.720
like five miles an hour, and the bus is right

00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:48.920
behind me. I kept stopping, and then his coffee

00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:52.160
kept flying up. And then I remember I accidentally

00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:53.660
went on to like, when I pulled up to school,

00:25:53.759 --> 00:25:55.319
I almost went up on the sidewalk and hit this

00:25:55.319 --> 00:25:57.339
fat girl and shit. She was kind of. Are you serious?

00:25:57.400 --> 00:25:58.759
Yeah, she was kind of an asshole, so it would

00:25:58.759 --> 00:26:02.130
have been OK. I remember I just pulled off and

00:26:02.130 --> 00:26:03.789
got up and they were like, man, you can't drive,

00:26:03.789 --> 00:26:06.089
bro. But yeah, he was in the bus and they had

00:26:06.089 --> 00:26:08.250
one dude. The Fosters. Yeah, the Fosters were

00:26:08.250 --> 00:26:09.970
in the bus and the one dude, he was the toughest

00:26:09.970 --> 00:26:12.269
one. They told me he would literally be at the

00:26:12.269 --> 00:26:14.750
Foster place protecting everybody. Oh, nice.

00:26:14.970 --> 00:26:16.589
Nobody would mess with him. And he was the nicest

00:26:16.589 --> 00:26:21.349
dude I've ever met. Gay is the day is long. My

00:26:21.349 --> 00:26:24.009
bad, he was gay. Gay is the day is long. Yeah,

00:26:24.009 --> 00:26:36.589
he was gay. Gay half a syllable. Yeah. No one

00:26:36.589 --> 00:26:39.970
my bro's the only time I ever got beat up a gay

00:26:39.970 --> 00:26:42.869
dude that I will say I used to pick on. Well,

00:26:43.049 --> 00:26:44.589
let's say my brother used to pick on him, make

00:26:44.589 --> 00:26:47.710
me pick on him. Because we all knew. Back in

00:26:47.710 --> 00:26:49.710
my town, still, they don't say they're gay whenever,

00:26:49.950 --> 00:26:52.049
clearly. You know what I mean? So he was like

00:26:52.049 --> 00:26:55.730
that. But I grew up with him my whole life. And

00:26:55.730 --> 00:26:58.609
this white dude, I hate to say this, but the

00:26:58.609 --> 00:27:00.769
white dude, he was tall. And he said something

00:27:00.769 --> 00:27:02.829
about my dad. My dad had died. I was like, I

00:27:02.829 --> 00:27:04.329
pushed him. And I was like, he don't say nothing

00:27:04.329 --> 00:27:06.940
about my dad. And I was fat. I didn't get this

00:27:06.940 --> 00:27:09.940
out. I was in sixth grade and I was fat. I was

00:27:09.940 --> 00:27:12.319
fat. Young little kid. Yeah, yeah. But I thought

00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:13.839
I was the shit because I was bigger than everybody,

00:27:13.859 --> 00:27:16.220
but I was just fat and he hit me in my shit so

00:27:16.220 --> 00:27:19.359
hard. Dog, it split my fucking cheek and I went

00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:23.079
down on a knee and then James not only beat him

00:27:23.079 --> 00:27:25.440
up, but he beat up his brother who were supposed

00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:26.960
to be the best fighters in the school. He beat

00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:29.720
the shit out of both of them. Hell yeah. My nigga.

00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:31.940
Shout out James. Yeah, yeah, shout out. Fuckin'

00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:34.450
fighter, dude. Yeah, they can fight, man. They

00:27:34.450 --> 00:27:39.849
gotta, they be picked. It's either that or die.

00:27:40.390 --> 00:27:44.730
True, true. That's why, that's why I say I know

00:27:44.730 --> 00:27:47.849
that you don't pick to be gay because I mean

00:27:47.849 --> 00:27:49.890
since I was, since I was, I mean since I can

00:27:49.890 --> 00:27:51.650
remember that we'd always been like friends of

00:27:51.650 --> 00:27:54.490
the family, he was clearly, he was clearly gay

00:27:54.490 --> 00:27:57.450
as hell. We're the same exact age so he was gay

00:27:57.450 --> 00:28:00.339
the whole time. Hmm, but you don't get to pick

00:28:00.339 --> 00:28:02.420
a Brandon. Yeah, you can't pick it could just

00:28:02.420 --> 00:28:04.619
happen to you It could come they say it comes

00:28:04.619 --> 00:28:14.339
later in life like late onset homosexuality That's

00:28:14.339 --> 00:28:22.200
crazy you don't think so I don't think nothing

00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:26.759
Hey, you've been watching movies lately Honestly,

00:28:26.980 --> 00:28:29.420
no. Oh, dude, I want to see Pat's take on obsession.

00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:32.259
Oh, we should watch it. Dude, we actually honestly

00:28:32.259 --> 00:28:34.200
should. Yeah, I want to learn about that. What's

00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:36.299
that about? The movie obsession. No, I've never

00:28:36.299 --> 00:28:39.000
seen that. It's pretty damn good. You don't want

00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:40.640
to know anything about it? I just want to watch

00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:42.240
it. Oh, then let's just watch it. Let's get obsessed.

00:28:42.259 --> 00:28:45.019
It's made by like sketch comedians is one of

00:28:45.019 --> 00:28:47.519
those again, like weapons. I am going to try

00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:50.180
to see that new black horror movie next week.

00:28:50.420 --> 00:28:53.089
What's it called? I really don't know, but I

00:28:53.089 --> 00:28:55.289
just know who's in it. It's Lil Rel, Carlos Melo,

00:28:55.410 --> 00:28:57.470
Tiffany Haddish. Oh shit. Is it gonna be funny?

00:28:57.490 --> 00:28:58.789
You think it's gonna be in the movies? Yeah.

00:28:59.049 --> 00:29:01.109
It's gonna be funny or it's a horror? It's a

00:29:01.109 --> 00:29:03.390
horror film. Oh fuck. But horror has always been

00:29:03.390 --> 00:29:06.130
funny. It's a comedy horror film. Oh, okay. But

00:29:06.130 --> 00:29:07.789
I think like - I wonder which way they're gonna

00:29:07.789 --> 00:29:09.509
go. Are they gonna go Shana the Dead with it

00:29:09.509 --> 00:29:12.470
or are they gonna go - Evil Dead. Just like Nightmare

00:29:12.470 --> 00:29:15.450
on Elm Street. Right, yeah. It's funny but -

00:29:15.450 --> 00:29:17.769
Well, I saw the trailer for it, how it was. I

00:29:17.769 --> 00:29:20.549
think Carlos just got out of jail. and I guess

00:29:20.549 --> 00:29:22.589
he finds a lick they can get, like, get some

00:29:22.589 --> 00:29:24.170
money out of a house, and it's a haunted house.

00:29:24.210 --> 00:29:26.349
Oh, that's good. Yeah. That's really, actually,

00:29:26.450 --> 00:29:28.170
that's a really good... Because black people

00:29:28.170 --> 00:29:31.509
hate ghosts. You ever watch Black Jesus? Mm -hmm.

00:29:31.930 --> 00:29:34.009
Yeah, Slink, dude. You remember the nerd with

00:29:34.009 --> 00:29:36.390
the glasses that always had to bite? Mm -mm.

00:29:36.509 --> 00:29:38.009
He was always going to the store for everybody?

00:29:38.349 --> 00:29:41.890
Mm -mm. Really? No. I ain't seen that in a long

00:29:41.890 --> 00:29:43.670
time. That comedian's hilarious, Slink Johnson.

00:29:43.670 --> 00:29:46.339
He was one of those from Wild N Out. Back in

00:29:46.339 --> 00:29:47.980
the day, I forgot his name, but he ended it.

00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:50.140
We gotta ask Robert. Oh yeah, apparently, apparently.

00:29:51.759 --> 00:29:53.660
We can solve with Robert Hoffman on anything.

00:29:53.660 --> 00:29:55.920
Dude, ridiculousness is going off the air this

00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:58.740
year. For real? Still on? First of all, it's

00:29:58.740 --> 00:30:01.640
still on. It's been on for 22 years. Get the

00:30:01.640 --> 00:30:04.140
fuck out of here. No, but I remember them announcing

00:30:04.140 --> 00:30:05.420
that shit, but I thought that was last year.

00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:06.940
They announced that it was ending this year,

00:30:06.980 --> 00:30:09.660
but it's still on currently. Holy shit. Isn't

00:30:09.660 --> 00:30:13.269
that insane? You know, they got rid of everything

00:30:13.269 --> 00:30:17.450
on com MTV MTV because that they wanted that

00:30:17.450 --> 00:30:19.470
and then nothing but animated, right? I don't

00:30:19.470 --> 00:30:23.230
even know like but if you go on like I Wish we

00:30:23.230 --> 00:30:25.349
could pull it up. I might put it on overlay it

00:30:25.349 --> 00:30:27.470
But I want to look up MTV's like current like

00:30:27.470 --> 00:30:29.210
what's playing right now because I think it's

00:30:29.210 --> 00:30:31.890
all ridiculousness Hmm. Yeah, I mean that's all

00:30:31.890 --> 00:30:34.349
it's been whenever I go like a to a hotel or

00:30:34.349 --> 00:30:36.569
something on there It is I just thought they

00:30:36.569 --> 00:30:39.329
were reruns. Well, they probably are but Jesus

00:30:39.609 --> 00:30:41.950
Because he says they pump out like 10 of those

00:30:41.950 --> 00:30:43.569
a day or some shit like that. I mean, you're

00:30:43.569 --> 00:30:45.230
just sitting there watching videos, right? Like,

00:30:45.390 --> 00:30:47.049
why wouldn't you? And you get like, I think they

00:30:47.049 --> 00:30:48.650
get a new crowd. I don't know how many they do

00:30:48.650 --> 00:30:50.609
a day, but they get like a new crowd every two

00:30:50.609 --> 00:30:52.549
or something like that. Literally right now on

00:30:52.549 --> 00:30:57.269
is ridiculousness. It's crazy. It's a new episode

00:30:57.269 --> 00:31:03.619
too. What the fuck are we? What the fuck? And

00:31:03.619 --> 00:31:06.359
that's on the channel? Yeah, on MTV. They still,

00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:08.420
I thought they were done. I thought MTV was gone.

00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:10.859
No, Comedy Central's gone. Oh, Comedy Central,

00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:13.420
I thought MTV was. Rest in Peace, Comedy Central.

00:31:13.779 --> 00:31:16.519
Comedy Central was my, cause I didn't have like

00:31:16.519 --> 00:31:19.000
HBO and all that shit. Comedy Central was the

00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:20.839
biggest thing I had. It was the shit, dude. And

00:31:20.839 --> 00:31:23.500
I used to love, I used to love on, it was either

00:31:23.500 --> 00:31:25.960
one of the weekend nights, they'll show a uncut

00:31:25.960 --> 00:31:29.059
stand -up special. Oh, yeah. Late nights, dude.

00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:32.259
Yeah, at the late night. What? Martin Lawrence,

00:31:32.380 --> 00:31:35.380
Ryan Attell, that? Dude, Dave Attell, I remember

00:31:35.380 --> 00:31:37.880
seeing one of his that blew my mind as a kid.

00:31:38.680 --> 00:31:41.079
See, I only, I didn't even know Dave Attell was

00:31:41.079 --> 00:31:43.680
a comedian until, like, I'm saying the last 10

00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:45.680
years, because when I grew up, he was on insomnia.

00:31:46.359 --> 00:31:48.819
Oh yeah, that Colin Quinn show, right? No, no,

00:31:48.819 --> 00:31:51.180
no, it was his show. It was David Tell's Somnia

00:31:51.180 --> 00:31:53.299
and what he used to do, he would just go to bars.

00:31:53.559 --> 00:31:56.000
And I want to watch it now because when I was

00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:58.299
a kid, it would be up, it would be like literally

00:31:58.299 --> 00:32:01.720
right before the church shit come on. So then

00:32:01.720 --> 00:32:04.160
you're watching. Oh God. That brought back some

00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:06.160
fucking memories right there. Cause it'd be like

00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:08.599
one of those shows, like the rowdiest show ever.

00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:13.000
And then gospel. T .D. Jakes going on about his

00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:16.789
water or some shit. go to bars at nightlife and

00:32:16.789 --> 00:32:18.589
then he would be like, if he liked the bar, I

00:32:18.589 --> 00:32:20.630
believe. And I, you know, Dave, until now, I'm

00:32:20.630 --> 00:32:22.170
pretty sure he was in there telling jokes, but

00:32:22.170 --> 00:32:23.670
I used to like it when I was a kid. I wasn't

00:32:23.670 --> 00:32:25.329
supposed to be watching. And it was just like,

00:32:25.750 --> 00:32:27.970
I want to do, I never forget. I'm talking about,

00:32:27.970 --> 00:32:30.410
I was young, young and I was like, I want to

00:32:30.410 --> 00:32:34.809
do that. And that's pretty much what I do now.

00:32:41.069 --> 00:32:43.230
Like, I'd be sleeping in class all day, because

00:32:43.230 --> 00:32:44.829
I spent all night watching Comic View, guys.

00:32:46.410 --> 00:32:49.329
Especially when they show LaVell Crawford in

00:32:49.329 --> 00:32:52.569
his prime. Bruce Bruce, hosting that shit. Bruce

00:32:52.569 --> 00:32:55.049
Bruce, that was my time. Bruce Bruce, Reynaldo

00:32:55.049 --> 00:32:59.869
Ray, in the fucking bar, that was the shit. I

00:32:59.869 --> 00:33:04.230
only thought stand -up was that, until way later

00:33:04.230 --> 00:33:05.730
in life, I saw my first white comedian. I didn't

00:33:05.730 --> 00:33:08.089
know they even did stand -up. Before I came over

00:33:08.089 --> 00:33:10.579
here, I was watching this. I was watching Bruce

00:33:10.579 --> 00:33:12.700
Bruce, he was on the podcast with Tyler Chronicles

00:33:12.700 --> 00:33:15.539
and them, and they was asking him, he said, why

00:33:15.539 --> 00:33:17.740
was Comic View showing the comedians who bombed

00:33:17.740 --> 00:33:19.980
on that bitch? And he was like, because niggas

00:33:19.980 --> 00:33:23.259
need to see. Can you do it or not? You know what

00:33:23.259 --> 00:33:25.380
I'm saying? Because every way else you watch

00:33:25.380 --> 00:33:27.500
it, it looks like they just execute it perfectly

00:33:27.500 --> 00:33:30.380
every time. Because I was tripping when I found

00:33:30.380 --> 00:33:34.750
out that Shaq All -Star. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey,

00:33:34.750 --> 00:33:37.109
remember the one with Corey Holcomb? That's my

00:33:37.109 --> 00:33:38.650
best, the best one. But you know, they had to

00:33:38.650 --> 00:33:41.309
rearrange it because they said Mike F closed

00:33:41.309 --> 00:33:44.589
that shit up and it was like, Corey got more

00:33:44.589 --> 00:33:46.710
pop than him. So they had to rearrange it. I

00:33:46.710 --> 00:33:50.170
mean, that set was legendary. That set all the

00:33:50.170 --> 00:33:52.329
way. Corey Holcomb set on Shaq All -Star? All

00:33:52.329 --> 00:33:54.430
-Star. When he's talking about the abortion joke.

00:33:54.860 --> 00:33:58.039
The abortion joke, dude, is ain't shit niggas.

00:33:58.319 --> 00:34:00.500
That's my, I still say that. People like, you

00:34:00.500 --> 00:34:02.319
ever want to be shit? He was like, no, I'm straight.

00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:07.660
My favorite joke, when he said he knew his three

00:34:07.660 --> 00:34:09.960
year old daughter wasn't going to be shit. Because

00:34:09.960 --> 00:34:15.800
she was like, she never sucked on a bottle. She

00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:17.940
always took the top off and just wasted milk

00:34:17.940 --> 00:34:19.480
all over her. She was like, you just like your

00:34:19.480 --> 00:34:23.559
mama, bitch. Just like your mom. That shit funny

00:34:23.559 --> 00:34:26.840
as hell, boy. I ain't gonna lie to you. They

00:34:26.840 --> 00:34:28.780
can hate Corey all they want to, but that nigga

00:34:28.780 --> 00:34:30.659
will forever be one of the ghosts. He's funny.

00:34:31.159 --> 00:34:36.340
No, Corey is. He is funny, but he gets, you know,

00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:38.360
he'd be involved in too much, you know what I

00:34:38.360 --> 00:34:39.800
mean? No, I really don't think he'd be involved.

00:34:40.119 --> 00:34:43.699
He does exactly what everybody else do. They

00:34:43.699 --> 00:34:46.559
see a story and they reply to it. It's just that

00:34:46.559 --> 00:34:49.639
his reply, it may hit hard to some people because...

00:34:49.690 --> 00:34:52.050
These comedians, they know Corey. They're like,

00:34:52.190 --> 00:34:53.630
Corey, why you doing like that? Oh, like, I'm

00:34:53.630 --> 00:34:56.969
just kidding. Well, I mean, he is. He does say

00:34:56.969 --> 00:34:58.630
rowdy shit, but that's who Corey Holcomb is,

00:34:58.889 --> 00:35:01.110
too. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But every

00:35:01.110 --> 00:35:03.190
comedian, every comedian that got a phone in

00:35:03.190 --> 00:35:07.289
their face, they're being entertaining. They're

00:35:07.289 --> 00:35:08.570
being them. They're being what they're known

00:35:08.570 --> 00:35:10.409
for. True. When that camera go off, they're probably

00:35:10.409 --> 00:35:11.889
chilling. They're probably even thinking about

00:35:11.889 --> 00:35:13.730
that shit. I done heard some of the stories about

00:35:13.730 --> 00:35:16.269
niggas going viral. They done posted a video

00:35:16.269 --> 00:35:17.690
and didn't think it was going to be nothing.

00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:20.780
and then they wake up to about 50 million goddamn

00:35:20.780 --> 00:35:23.639
reactions. That's all it takes. I mean, that's

00:35:23.639 --> 00:35:25.380
literally all it takes, and it could be for the

00:35:25.380 --> 00:35:27.639
worst shit. Because how many of these have we

00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:30.619
done? There's no way I remember any. Like, people

00:35:30.619 --> 00:35:34.519
could be like, you said this on one of your podcasts,

00:35:34.639 --> 00:35:36.639
and I would be like, you're a fucking liar. You

00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:38.500
know what I mean? I would never say anything

00:35:38.500 --> 00:35:40.340
that they pulled up. I'm like, god damn it, I

00:35:40.340 --> 00:35:41.400
did say this. But this thing about it, though,

00:35:41.579 --> 00:35:44.719
it's really expected of you to be you. when people

00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:47.239
are fans of you, you have to be you on that camera.

00:35:47.420 --> 00:35:49.699
Well, that's the thing, but you are, you're putting

00:35:49.699 --> 00:35:52.659
on, you're putting on something when you're in

00:35:52.659 --> 00:35:54.460
front of the camera, you know what I mean? So

00:35:54.460 --> 00:35:57.320
you are putting on something, so you're trying

00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:00.360
to get a pop or a rise out of everybody. I just

00:36:00.360 --> 00:36:03.219
hate the fake outrage. I just hate, like, when

00:36:03.219 --> 00:36:04.800
you want a comedian to respond to something,

00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:07.000
you want it to be funny, because they're comedians.

00:36:07.219 --> 00:36:10.219
Yeah. Well, people are looking to comedians for

00:36:10.219 --> 00:36:11.800
fucking philosophy now, though. And you should

00:36:11.800 --> 00:36:15.960
not. Good God. If you only knew the people we

00:36:15.960 --> 00:36:18.599
hung out with at open mics, because that's what

00:36:18.599 --> 00:36:21.480
comics are. They all are those guys. Cokeheads,

00:36:21.820 --> 00:36:24.300
just the most mentally handicapped people you've

00:36:24.300 --> 00:36:27.199
ever fucking met. No, they all are special in

00:36:27.199 --> 00:36:29.619
a way, including us. They don't know who or what

00:36:29.619 --> 00:36:32.139
they want to fuck. In a way where if they did

00:36:32.139 --> 00:36:34.519
anything else, it would not work out for them.

00:36:34.980 --> 00:36:37.059
And they are doing other, and it's not working

00:36:37.059 --> 00:36:40.159
out for them. for them. Their life is not going

00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:43.300
well. We some broke ass niggas, man. Speak for

00:36:43.300 --> 00:36:51.179
yourself. It's so funny. Yeah, the idea. No,

00:36:51.460 --> 00:36:52.920
like they're, believe it or not, they're still

00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:54.900
philosophers in the world. Like you can read

00:36:54.900 --> 00:36:56.440
what they're saying. You don't have to fucking.

00:36:57.039 --> 00:36:59.920
I know it has to be so frustrating for them because

00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:02.739
it's like, it's like somebody in astrophysics

00:37:02.739 --> 00:37:05.880
trying to tell me and Brandon. Something and

00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:09.099
it's like we can't grasp it, right? So so the

00:37:09.099 --> 00:37:11.420
people that are trying to philosophize, you know,

00:37:11.480 --> 00:37:13.420
whatever fuck I see I can't say it, you know

00:37:13.420 --> 00:37:15.920
people but the people who are trying to do this

00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:17.900
and they found out they might not even be that

00:37:17.900 --> 00:37:20.360
feel that strongly about oh this got views so

00:37:20.360 --> 00:37:22.000
now you have to take this stance and now you

00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:23.280
have to act like you know what you're talking

00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:26.539
about and you're not Jordan Peterson Jordan Peterson.

00:37:26.539 --> 00:37:29.300
Where the fuck he been at? He's probably dead.

00:37:29.980 --> 00:37:33.599
So he like, he's on that all meat diet and shit.

00:37:33.880 --> 00:37:36.480
He's like, so Jordan Peterson, I don't even know

00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:38.079
how, you probably would never have even seen

00:37:38.079 --> 00:37:41.099
him. That's not like a failed comedian. He, dude,

00:37:41.400 --> 00:37:44.199
so many of these right wing guys are failed writers

00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:46.579
and comedians. So many of them, it's crazy. Well,

00:37:46.679 --> 00:37:48.340
what a camera. I'm gonna let y 'all know now.

00:37:48.590 --> 00:37:52.210
I don't know shit, I just talk shit. And that's

00:37:52.210 --> 00:37:53.210
how I was gonna fucking say it. You can believe

00:37:53.210 --> 00:37:57.210
if you want to. But some stuff do be right. If

00:37:57.210 --> 00:37:59.710
you see any of us in positions of power ever,

00:38:00.269 --> 00:38:03.610
run. Run as fast... Instead of black people,

00:38:03.630 --> 00:38:06.150
I'm gonna look out for my people. In the wrong

00:38:06.150 --> 00:38:09.550
way. In the 100 % wrong way. We gonna get our

00:38:09.550 --> 00:38:14.110
reparations. How you gonna do that? Don't worry

00:38:14.110 --> 00:38:15.269
about it. When I get the power, then you gonna

00:38:15.269 --> 00:38:19.159
know. Fuck I'm gonna tell you for it. Do I get

00:38:19.159 --> 00:38:26.659
some? You get half of it. Brandon, I'm going

00:38:26.659 --> 00:38:29.460
to give you yours, but you... He's going to put

00:38:29.460 --> 00:38:32.849
yours in a truss for you. Which would be right.

00:38:33.409 --> 00:38:35.570
Which would be right. Put yours in the CD. I

00:38:35.570 --> 00:38:36.889
ain't gonna lie, I'm gonna make sure your wife

00:38:36.889 --> 00:38:39.130
can't touch it. I don't think that's who you

00:38:39.130 --> 00:38:41.170
have to worry about. Yeah, you gotta worry about

00:38:41.170 --> 00:38:44.389
somebody else. Yeah, I think so if he got a lump

00:38:44.389 --> 00:38:46.110
sum of money. He gotta worry about a lot of people.

00:38:46.550 --> 00:38:48.730
You would have to sign it over because they would

00:38:48.730 --> 00:38:49.670
take care of it. I gotta ask you a question.

00:38:50.190 --> 00:38:51.889
Brandon, you get $50 million. What's the first

00:38:51.889 --> 00:38:55.269
thing you buy? First thing I buy? A car. Hell

00:38:55.269 --> 00:38:57.349
yeah. I'm getting a better car. Gonna give me

00:38:57.349 --> 00:39:00.230
a place. Hell yeah. Nice apartment. I don't need

00:39:00.230 --> 00:39:01.989
nothing. No, fuck that. Fuck that. I'm sorry.

00:39:02.369 --> 00:39:04.710
A house. No, 50 million, I'm buying the apartment

00:39:04.710 --> 00:39:06.010
building. I'm getting a house. I'm being the

00:39:06.010 --> 00:39:07.889
landlord. I got to be careful. I got to be careful,

00:39:08.030 --> 00:39:09.369
man. This stuff could go away quickly. That is

00:39:09.369 --> 00:39:11.289
true. You're buying a house and a car. You go

00:39:11.289 --> 00:39:14.670
pay your taxes? Yes. Well, that's 50 million

00:39:14.670 --> 00:39:16.670
after taxes. Say you got 50 million in the bank.

00:39:16.809 --> 00:39:17.989
Let's say it was a whole year. You're buying

00:39:17.989 --> 00:39:19.909
a house and a car. What else are you buying?

00:39:20.170 --> 00:39:21.530
What's the one thing you're buying that's not

00:39:21.530 --> 00:39:24.030
that? I guess we get some weed, too. I mean,

00:39:24.130 --> 00:39:25.710
that'd be nice. See, Brandon, you're going to

00:39:25.710 --> 00:39:28.570
live for a long time. What? I got a question.

00:39:28.809 --> 00:39:31.590
He buys $49 million worth. What kind of house

00:39:31.590 --> 00:39:32.829
are you going to buy? What kind of house are

00:39:32.829 --> 00:39:34.630
you going to buy? Just a normal house, man. I

00:39:34.630 --> 00:39:36.650
don't need to go crazy. Because my thing is,

00:39:36.650 --> 00:39:40.130
if I live normal, like, man, just like people,

00:39:40.269 --> 00:39:42.309
they'll get mansions and stuff like that. Shit

00:39:42.309 --> 00:39:44.849
they literally can't afford. I just get something

00:39:44.849 --> 00:39:46.909
now. I'm like, man, it looks like I'm normal,

00:39:47.010 --> 00:39:49.469
but I'm rich as hell. See, I want a big house.

00:39:50.150 --> 00:39:52.250
Just get a house. You can have it built the way

00:39:52.250 --> 00:39:54.889
you want it. It don't have to be big. You can

00:39:54.889 --> 00:39:56.699
get your wrestling ring in it if you want. Oh,

00:39:56.719 --> 00:39:58.380
you best believe. See, you know what I'm saying?

00:39:58.519 --> 00:40:00.559
So now you got to take that into account. Where's

00:40:00.559 --> 00:40:01.980
the air you going to have that in? Do you want

00:40:01.980 --> 00:40:03.739
it outside? Do you want it in the house? Do you

00:40:03.739 --> 00:40:05.219
want to be as low up as you can? If anybody is

00:40:05.219 --> 00:40:07.099
wrestling in Brandon's backyard. If you talk

00:40:07.099 --> 00:40:10.920
to me one more time. Are you fucking with me?

00:40:11.079 --> 00:40:14.320
No, you're fucking with me. Go ahead. You see

00:40:14.320 --> 00:40:16.320
how that is? You stop, and now you go. What kind

00:40:16.320 --> 00:40:17.780
of people are going to be in Brandon's wrestling

00:40:17.780 --> 00:40:20.559
ring? As long as you got oil, you're going to

00:40:20.559 --> 00:40:22.940
be there right now. You best believe. You're

00:40:22.940 --> 00:40:28.000
going to have me with you. Would you hire amateur

00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:30.059
wrestlers to come over there and put on a show

00:40:30.059 --> 00:40:32.639
for you? Fuck it, let's do it. Actually, yeah,

00:40:32.880 --> 00:40:35.340
I'd have amateurs and some pros in there. You

00:40:35.340 --> 00:40:36.920
get some pros who ain't doing it, who ain't in

00:40:36.920 --> 00:40:38.159
WWE, you know? Yeah, I would get cool with that.

00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:41.539
Pay them a little bit. I feel like military contractors

00:40:41.539 --> 00:40:45.280
but for wrestling? Yeah. Colby Kingston. Get

00:40:45.280 --> 00:40:47.360
Jake the Snake in there, man. Why would you get

00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:48.900
Jake the Snake? That nigga too old. Just to see

00:40:48.900 --> 00:40:51.420
him. Just to see him. I just want to see him.

00:40:51.460 --> 00:40:53.639
Maybe have him announce. Yeah, he can announce.

00:40:53.699 --> 00:40:56.110
I just want to talk to him. I'm sure you can

00:40:56.110 --> 00:40:57.269
have him over at the house if you'd like. Yeah,

00:40:57.289 --> 00:40:58.809
we can just have a beer or something. He do comedy.

00:40:58.829 --> 00:41:01.170
We have a Kinect Scott's open for or hosted for

00:41:01.170 --> 00:41:04.010
him or something. Wow. We need to get back with

00:41:04.010 --> 00:41:06.670
Adam Priest. We do. He's been blowing up, man.

00:41:06.769 --> 00:41:10.429
I see it. I'm glad we got him. I can't believe.

00:41:10.829 --> 00:41:12.690
That is one of my favorite things we've ever

00:41:12.690 --> 00:41:14.409
done. I knew he was going to blow up because

00:41:14.409 --> 00:41:17.289
the way he did that. The teaching. The teaching

00:41:17.289 --> 00:41:19.989
and the promo and the way he whooped your motherfucking

00:41:19.989 --> 00:41:26.429
ass. I know. I knew that was real shit. No. He

00:41:26.429 --> 00:41:30.090
probably wants that to go away. It was actually

00:41:30.090 --> 00:41:32.469
so good. I can't believe how good that turned

00:41:32.469 --> 00:41:36.050
out. Like out of like minimum planning. Minimum

00:41:36.050 --> 00:41:38.909
planning, the asthma attack worked perfectly.

00:41:39.530 --> 00:41:44.610
That was real. And you edited so I didn't look

00:41:44.610 --> 00:41:46.989
so bad because I was like, he's gonna be fine.

00:41:47.849 --> 00:41:49.190
I was like, Brady, you just gotta get it. And

00:41:49.190 --> 00:41:50.630
then once I took one bump, I was like, I don't

00:41:50.630 --> 00:41:52.050
know how the fuck he's been doing this. It was

00:41:52.050 --> 00:41:54.829
crazy. It was, yeah, that was the most, oh, I

00:41:54.829 --> 00:41:56.389
was so happy with that. I loved it, though. That

00:41:56.389 --> 00:42:00.489
was fun. I'd do it again. Roll the tape. Roll

00:42:00.489 --> 00:42:02.369
that beautiful beam footage. Oh, man, hell yeah.

00:42:02.489 --> 00:42:04.530
Did you see the table or the chair? No table.

00:42:04.809 --> 00:42:08.070
Oh, that was so, oh, that ending. The basic section

00:42:08.070 --> 00:42:10.269
was it. Oh, man. I mean, that was real. Like

00:42:10.269 --> 00:42:11.750
when the sweat slaps, I'm gonna come out like,

00:42:12.110 --> 00:42:16.260
ah. I'm telling you, me and JJ's reaction on

00:42:16.260 --> 00:42:19.760
that was 100 % real. I couldn't believe how hard

00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:22.920
that he hit you. I thought we ought to stop it.

00:42:23.300 --> 00:42:26.340
I thought he fucked you up that bad. I give you

00:42:26.340 --> 00:42:28.239
props how you said it. He was really into character.

00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:31.659
And that's again what Don was saying. Another

00:42:31.659 --> 00:42:34.719
dream come true. And his character is just who

00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:38.420
he is. And he was funny, he was hilarious, he

00:42:38.420 --> 00:42:41.949
got it. Yeah, dude. That's a good point that

00:42:41.949 --> 00:42:43.510
was like we were working with someone who knew

00:42:43.510 --> 00:42:47.949
what was up He went whatever we say, but then

00:42:47.949 --> 00:42:50.050
he'll spice it up and then and if we had a bad

00:42:50.050 --> 00:42:52.030
angle I'm sure he would have told us like oh,

00:42:52.130 --> 00:43:04.630
no, it would have worked better Look at this

00:43:04.630 --> 00:43:06.150
page. I think it's about am I going through a

00:43:06.150 --> 00:43:10.250
midlife crisis? Yes. Oh, yeah. 100%. I thought

00:43:10.250 --> 00:43:11.949
the comedy was the midlife crisis. You versus

00:43:11.949 --> 00:43:15.010
Daniel Harden would be nice. Fuck it. Pro wrestling.

00:43:15.369 --> 00:43:17.469
Let's do it. Yeah, bring back the Black Bear.

00:43:17.590 --> 00:43:19.170
Yeah, the Black Bear got it. Black Bear would

00:43:19.170 --> 00:43:21.010
be the one. So we got a lot of like wrestling

00:43:21.010 --> 00:43:25.510
adjacent folks in our crew. Like Daniel, apparently.

00:43:26.110 --> 00:43:29.969
Like there's that Harden. Oh, yeah. Who else?

00:43:30.730 --> 00:43:33.550
Who else was it that uh, there's a guy that from

00:43:33.550 --> 00:43:36.570
down like in colman that announces gene gene

00:43:36.570 --> 00:43:39.289
something. Do you know? Okay, we got cassio.

00:43:39.289 --> 00:43:41.690
We got cassio who like literally does a podcast

00:43:41.690 --> 00:43:45.150
with multiple Road dog jess and james. Yeah,

00:43:45.150 --> 00:43:49.289
I just saw a picture with him and um Dolph Ziegler.

00:43:49.590 --> 00:43:52.329
Oh shit, Dolph Ziegler man. Cassio's big time

00:43:52.489 --> 00:43:55.170
the most famous person we ever had on well shout

00:43:55.170 --> 00:43:58.030
out it didn't not mike sales oh yeah that's true

00:43:58.030 --> 00:44:00.289
mike sales is huh dolph ziggler is a comedian

00:44:00.289 --> 00:44:03.030
too for real yeah i don't know who dolph oh yeah

00:44:03.030 --> 00:44:05.329
i heard the name he's a wrestler but he actually

00:44:05.329 --> 00:44:07.730
does stand for comedy on the side it broke my

00:44:07.730 --> 00:44:09.949
heart as a child i remember that what do you

00:44:09.949 --> 00:44:15.199
back in like 2012, I was probably about nine

00:44:15.199 --> 00:44:21.519
years old. I remember I was obsessed with this

00:44:21.519 --> 00:44:24.519
wrestling chick named AJ Lee, who now made CM

00:44:24.519 --> 00:44:28.280
Punk. And I remember one day he just had her,

00:44:28.599 --> 00:44:30.079
started making out with her and shit. I was like,

00:44:30.179 --> 00:44:32.159
damn, that broke my heart. And then he was kind

00:44:32.159 --> 00:44:33.639
of like the Macho Man with her, man. He was a

00:44:33.639 --> 00:44:36.349
little abusive. in real life? Oh, not in real

00:44:36.349 --> 00:44:38.630
life. Just on the character front. But I didn't

00:44:38.630 --> 00:44:40.269
know that as a child. Like, man, I'm telling

00:44:40.269 --> 00:44:41.969
you, I would be having breakdowns in the front

00:44:41.969 --> 00:44:43.389
room. Like, I remember they had this thing where

00:44:43.389 --> 00:44:46.070
he got married to, or she get, damn, my bad,

00:44:46.630 --> 00:44:49.809
she got married to this guy named Daniel Bryan,

00:44:49.909 --> 00:44:51.389
where he'd be doing this, he'd be saying yes,

00:44:51.489 --> 00:44:55.929
yes, yes. He kind of looked like a goat. And

00:44:55.929 --> 00:44:58.070
then, you guys remember Slick, back in the day

00:44:58.070 --> 00:45:00.690
in the 80s, Slick with Akeem and Big Boss Man?

00:45:01.129 --> 00:45:04.230
Nobody was born in the 80s here. Damn, man, you

00:45:04.230 --> 00:45:05.610
guys should know that. But back in the day, there

00:45:05.610 --> 00:45:08.389
was a dude named Slick, which he was... It was

00:45:08.389 --> 00:45:11.050
weird. But he was the dude that had them get

00:45:11.050 --> 00:45:15.510
married. And I remember watching AJ Lee and Daniel

00:45:15.510 --> 00:45:17.469
Bryan and Cain. Thankfully, he broke it up. But,

00:45:17.530 --> 00:45:20.610
dude, I was crushed. My mom had to calm me down.

00:45:20.869 --> 00:45:23.309
She was like, tap me on the back. It's okay.

00:45:24.329 --> 00:45:28.469
It's crazy how much of the target demo you are.

00:45:28.769 --> 00:45:31.570
You wonder how you got tricked in that job. tricked

00:45:31.570 --> 00:45:33.550
in the wood, yeah. when you did, when you watched

00:45:33.550 --> 00:45:36.469
them, uh, folks. Oh. At the folks. At the folks'

00:45:36.670 --> 00:45:39.170
homes. Yeah, I'm out here. Okay, I'll try to

00:45:39.170 --> 00:45:40.469
be nice, but when they had you watching them

00:45:40.469 --> 00:45:42.670
crazy ass folks, they were biting your ass. Oh,

00:45:42.670 --> 00:45:43.730
damn. Oh, well, I mean, that was crazy. They

00:45:43.730 --> 00:45:46.210
did you, they, they, the, the security people

00:45:46.210 --> 00:45:48.530
did do you wrong. I mean, they did, because they

00:45:48.530 --> 00:45:50.289
said that they felt like that was where I belonged

00:45:50.289 --> 00:45:53.210
and that's the spot for me. Let's, let's, let's

00:45:53.210 --> 00:45:55.070
take it a step back for the people. Tell the

00:45:55.070 --> 00:45:56.809
people where you were working, not like literally

00:45:56.809 --> 00:45:58.809
where, but like what the job. I was a hospital

00:45:58.809 --> 00:46:01.090
security officer. Mm -hmm. At a what hospital?

00:46:02.429 --> 00:46:04.670
And at first, I remember I thought that I was

00:46:04.670 --> 00:46:07.670
gonna be at Huntsville. You know, just walk around

00:46:07.670 --> 00:46:10.070
Huntsville Hospital, maybe Decatur Hospital,

00:46:10.150 --> 00:46:11.469
and we went through the academy and they were

00:46:11.469 --> 00:46:13.570
telling everybody where they belonged. And they

00:46:13.570 --> 00:46:15.750
told me that they thought, they were like, this

00:46:15.750 --> 00:46:20.610
place is you. You would do really good at it.

00:46:20.989 --> 00:46:22.570
And they were like, this is where we feel like

00:46:22.570 --> 00:46:25.909
you belong. And it was. You were the crazy person.

00:46:25.949 --> 00:46:29.530
I loved it. I did great, it was good. I'm pretty

00:46:29.530 --> 00:46:31.800
sure he was like. Yeah, I can figure myself here.

00:46:32.059 --> 00:46:33.519
I did, like the whole time I was like, yeah.

00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:36.539
Sitting on the bed like. Like I was high fiving

00:46:36.539 --> 00:46:40.059
them. Dabbing them up through the bars. I know,

00:46:40.159 --> 00:46:41.579
I'm like, guess this is where I'll be, I guess

00:46:41.579 --> 00:46:43.199
I'll get experience. And they're like, you'll

00:46:43.199 --> 00:46:45.440
get experience, I did. And it's crazy, you did

00:46:45.440 --> 00:46:49.739
so good there. I know. It's sad how much you

00:46:49.739 --> 00:46:52.079
literally belong there. They hate you. And people

00:46:52.079 --> 00:46:53.820
thought I belonged, people thought I was in there,

00:46:53.880 --> 00:46:55.679
like one dude, I remember we were trying to calm

00:46:55.679 --> 00:46:58.059
him down. And then he was looking, he was like,

00:46:58.059 --> 00:47:01.280
wait a minute, ain't you? He's special, too.

00:47:01.320 --> 00:47:04.739
You're a guy on the inside. He kept getting on

00:47:04.739 --> 00:47:06.260
my voice. He's like, why you sound like that?

00:47:06.360 --> 00:47:08.380
He got a weird voice for a 20 -something year

00:47:08.380 --> 00:47:10.800
old. I was like, nah, that's just how I sound.

00:47:10.900 --> 00:47:12.820
This is a person in there? Yeah, we were literally

00:47:12.820 --> 00:47:16.059
wrestling this dude. Wait, for fun? No, not for

00:47:16.059 --> 00:47:19.300
fun. He was acting out. So why y 'all was wrestling

00:47:19.300 --> 00:47:21.300
and he was like, you like me? Yeah, he calmed

00:47:21.300 --> 00:47:25.099
down. And he was like, huh. He can sense it.

00:47:25.300 --> 00:47:27.900
I'm like, it's the same dude. It's the same dude

00:47:27.900 --> 00:47:30.719
that gave a psychiatrist brain damage. Not there.

00:47:30.860 --> 00:47:33.659
And looks at me and is like, huh. But he liked

00:47:33.659 --> 00:47:36.360
you. Yeah, a lot of them did. It was weird. Like

00:47:36.360 --> 00:47:38.260
one dude, he told me, he was like, man, you don't

00:47:38.260 --> 00:47:39.400
have to worry about nowhere. Because if they

00:47:39.400 --> 00:47:41.139
try to get you, I'm jumping in. I was like, no,

00:47:41.199 --> 00:47:42.639
you don't have to do that. That'll be all right.

00:47:42.880 --> 00:47:48.400
See? It's so crazy. Like, the effect, like that's

00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:51.659
so rare that you have such a genuine effect on

00:47:51.659 --> 00:47:55.440
people. They feel safe and calm. If anybody ever

00:47:55.440 --> 00:47:57.539
told me they didn't like you, I would immediately...

00:47:57.539 --> 00:48:00.239
They're wrong. I would immediately talk to them.

00:48:00.239 --> 00:48:02.460
It's gotta get branded. It's branded. I wouldn't

00:48:02.460 --> 00:48:04.619
even say that to them. I would just be like,

00:48:04.940 --> 00:48:06.539
I understand what kind of person you are and

00:48:06.539 --> 00:48:09.099
I don't want to be a part of it at all. Dude,

00:48:09.159 --> 00:48:12.099
that's been my life. Can you imagine... Do you

00:48:12.099 --> 00:48:17.360
have any enemies? Yeah. The three... The three

00:48:17.360 --> 00:48:19.659
Mexicans? The three ones that pull the gun. Oh

00:48:19.659 --> 00:48:23.820
yeah, that was wild. Are you imagining friends

00:48:23.820 --> 00:48:28.079
still cool? Nah, nah, we broke up probably in

00:48:28.079 --> 00:48:34.099
2012, man. 2012. Same year, the driving. Oh my

00:48:34.099 --> 00:48:38.639
god. Wait, driving? That was freshman year. So

00:48:38.639 --> 00:48:41.360
freshman year, how old am I? So I'm nine years

00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:46.679
old in 2012. 13, 14. So it's probably about 2015,

00:48:47.000 --> 00:48:50.929
2016. No, I had to be 20. Probably 2017 but she

00:48:50.929 --> 00:48:53.070
was eight whenever this went down. Oh, you talking

00:48:53.070 --> 00:48:55.130
about the madden a friend stuff. Oh hell Yeah,

00:48:55.130 --> 00:48:57.809
I was eight. This is when my babysitter was a

00:48:57.809 --> 00:48:59.610
vampire came. What grade are you in when you're

00:48:59.610 --> 00:49:02.510
wait? What third you were still had imagine your

00:49:02.510 --> 00:49:05.150
friend in third grade At eight. Yeah, I feel

00:49:05.150 --> 00:49:07.050
like that's third. I mean because what grade

00:49:07.050 --> 00:49:09.010
were you with the magic Johnson thing? Okay,

00:49:09.070 --> 00:49:13.010
so magic Johnson that was 2016. Oh, so you were

00:49:13.010 --> 00:49:15.840
high school in that picture I believe so, let

00:49:15.840 --> 00:49:20.099
me see, 10, 11, 12, I was 13. Dude, we gotta

00:49:20.099 --> 00:49:21.500
put this picture. I'm putting that, yes. This

00:49:21.500 --> 00:49:24.320
picture is up and you guys look in the bottom

00:49:24.320 --> 00:49:27.000
right corner. I know. That is Lil Brandon and

00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:29.539
you were in high school. Yeah, I was 13 years

00:49:29.539 --> 00:49:33.000
old. It's the most classic Brandon zone out I've

00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:37.699
ever, it is so, you can transpose that on a picture

00:49:37.699 --> 00:49:41.099
of you today. The facial expression would be

00:49:41.099 --> 00:49:44.119
the exact same. I was out living life at that

00:49:44.119 --> 00:49:46.800
time. I wanted to. I mean, I was a sophomore

00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:51.159
in 2012. 2012. In 2016, I was out of high school.

00:49:52.039 --> 00:49:56.440
I was at war. For you. Thank you, man. You're

00:49:56.440 --> 00:49:58.800
welcome. For your freedom. I actually have a

00:49:58.800 --> 00:50:01.500
picture. We'll put it up. It's me on Halloween

00:50:01.500 --> 00:50:04.699
and I was in a pimp suit in Afghanistan. That's

00:50:04.699 --> 00:50:09.360
what kind of work I did. 2016 I was buying Adderalls

00:50:09.360 --> 00:50:11.559
from a guy named Martez. I met on the bus in

00:50:11.559 --> 00:50:15.480
Baltimore Martez Martez never heard that name

00:50:15.480 --> 00:50:18.199
before Mart Mart. Yeah, I think was Martez. That's

00:50:18.199 --> 00:50:24.340
a good 2016. I was just Something's never changed

00:50:24.340 --> 00:50:31.659
You do it a lot yeah, what you doing? Oh man,

00:50:31.860 --> 00:50:34.340
right now I'm just working. I got a show on July

00:50:34.340 --> 00:50:37.079
26th. Hell yeah. Oh yeah. Where at? Where we

00:50:37.079 --> 00:50:40.860
at? Chattanooga. Oh, Jalita's show? Nah, it's

00:50:40.860 --> 00:50:45.559
Alex, Alex, Alex. Hamaddy? Nah, Alex Hutchinson.

00:50:45.780 --> 00:50:48.539
Okay. The Chattanooga folks are good people.

00:50:48.699 --> 00:50:51.599
I'm on, I don't know the dates, but a competition

00:50:51.599 --> 00:50:53.820
there. Oh yeah? Oh yeah. When you finally gonna

00:50:53.820 --> 00:50:57.840
do that? Well, they asked me. It's a competition

00:50:57.840 --> 00:50:59.739
but it's everybody else just goes up against

00:50:59.739 --> 00:51:04.480
one city and then us it's us versus us and Birmingham

00:51:04.480 --> 00:51:07.719
and only a couple get out of it. So it's gonna

00:51:07.719 --> 00:51:10.940
be fun. Let's see what Birmingham got Yeah, you're

00:51:10.940 --> 00:51:15.619
on that competition Yeah, this Wednesday Yeah,

00:51:15.619 --> 00:51:17.559
this Wednesday on the 22nd. Yeah, I'll be in

00:51:17.559 --> 00:51:20.300
a stardom doing Alabama's funniest. This is your

00:51:20.300 --> 00:51:22.039
first round. Yeah. Yeah, it's my first round

00:51:22.039 --> 00:51:24.380
Okay, who you gonna we asked you this last time?

00:51:24.380 --> 00:51:31.130
Yeah, so I got Bama Bob, Morgan, Olivia, LP.

00:51:34.030 --> 00:51:36.909
He might as well just pencil him in. No, but

00:51:36.909 --> 00:51:39.429
I think Brandon has a chance. No, it's more than

00:51:39.429 --> 00:51:44.469
one. I guess LB. Oh, dude, I think you. Oh, you

00:51:44.469 --> 00:51:46.389
definitely got a chance. It's going to be LB,

00:51:46.429 --> 00:51:48.250
you and somebody else. If you hit it, if you

00:51:48.250 --> 00:51:50.849
hit, you know, you can fuck with anybody. And

00:51:50.849 --> 00:51:53.409
that's set you've been working on slaps. I appreciate

00:51:53.409 --> 00:51:56.800
it, bro. took him down he actually listened to

00:51:56.800 --> 00:51:59.500
the notes now he's fucking flourishing and he

00:51:59.500 --> 00:52:02.119
did it perfect he literally every note you gave

00:52:02.119 --> 00:52:04.400
him literally followed perfectly oh yeah i'm

00:52:04.400 --> 00:52:06.739
listening man i'm listening i'm putting in that

00:52:06.739 --> 00:52:09.059
work hell yeah now if we just can do it to dante

00:52:09.059 --> 00:52:12.159
oh god now we need to make we're doing that we're

00:52:12.159 --> 00:52:14.840
doing that yeah a little bit little sketch well

00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:17.340
well i think we can make i think i think if it

00:52:17.340 --> 00:52:21.239
goes the way that we see it that it could be

00:52:21.239 --> 00:52:23.820
a ongoing thing and also not just i mean i don't

00:52:23.820 --> 00:52:26.599
want to say is for every like I will go through

00:52:26.599 --> 00:52:29.179
it because you know saying you got somebody who's

00:52:29.179 --> 00:52:32.199
who's a 10 12 year comment and you can have guest

00:52:32.199 --> 00:52:34.260
comics come down we should set it up like Gordon

00:52:34.260 --> 00:52:37.159
Ramsay yeah so like Scott's like sitting in the

00:52:37.159 --> 00:52:40.679
audience in a disguise he'd be so if he doesn't

00:52:40.679 --> 00:52:42.800
get to get on we make him not be on his phone

00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:45.960
he's gonna be so pissed off he's gonna hate comedy

00:52:48.219 --> 00:52:50.179
But that's what we're gonna do. Oh, yeah, and

00:52:50.179 --> 00:52:53.039
then but Dante is gonna be the first one and

00:52:53.039 --> 00:52:55.280
we should put him in different wigs Scott, dude

00:52:55.280 --> 00:52:57.400
Oh, we didn't tell him what it is. It's boot

00:52:57.400 --> 00:53:00.179
camp. Oh, yeah comedy boot camp many boot camp

00:53:00.179 --> 00:53:04.320
for comedians and then you got a veteran comic

00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:07.820
veteran comic who coaches them watch their five

00:53:07.820 --> 00:53:10.829
-minute set which the crowd will too you know

00:53:10.829 --> 00:53:13.510
and then he'll take notes he'll give them notes

00:53:13.510 --> 00:53:15.750
and then after he goes through boot camp he does

00:53:15.750 --> 00:53:18.570
another five minute set and then we see what

00:53:18.570 --> 00:53:21.010
the finished product is if it works if the person

00:53:21.010 --> 00:53:23.050
took the advice because it will be on camera

00:53:23.050 --> 00:53:25.170
so you can't be like he told you this you did

00:53:25.170 --> 00:53:27.030
this is all that's just going to be there see

00:53:27.030 --> 00:53:29.750
we can retain it i know you do good bro thanks

00:53:29.750 --> 00:53:35.679
man That little cough. That little cough. You

00:53:35.679 --> 00:53:37.760
eating lettuce? Am I eating lettuce? Hell yeah,

00:53:37.820 --> 00:53:39.440
I'm eating lettuce, man. You heard about the

00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:42.039
explosive diarrhea? Dude, I already got that.

00:53:42.619 --> 00:53:46.420
It's called lactose intolerance. Dude, we were

00:53:46.420 --> 00:53:48.199
eating at fucking Thai food, and I was about

00:53:48.199 --> 00:53:50.380
to put all the vegetables in my pho, and Nat's

00:53:50.380 --> 00:53:54.260
like, no, the shit parasite. And I'm like, I

00:53:54.260 --> 00:53:56.780
will like... Like listen to you and I hear you

00:53:56.780 --> 00:53:59.139
but like if I didn't know you I would literally

00:53:59.139 --> 00:54:01.239
not know anything about this and I would just

00:54:01.239 --> 00:54:03.760
be eating lettuce Like a motherfucker. I don't

00:54:03.760 --> 00:54:06.380
like so I still I still am trying to lose weight

00:54:06.380 --> 00:54:11.239
You remember when I went to Taco Bell and I was

00:54:11.239 --> 00:54:13.420
like my stomach was fucked up Like I had to take

00:54:13.420 --> 00:54:15.260
off work the next day. Yeah, it was a time. I

00:54:15.260 --> 00:54:17.199
didn't have any PTO or anything I just had to

00:54:17.199 --> 00:54:20.320
take it off I mean my stomach was fucked up and

00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:23.059
then that came out that Taco Bell was the culprit

00:54:23.739 --> 00:54:25.579
Yes, you're probably one of the first victims.

00:54:25.719 --> 00:54:27.639
Yeah, maybe. I mean, that's good for you, though.

00:54:27.719 --> 00:54:29.579
That means I can't get it now. Doesn't that help

00:54:29.579 --> 00:54:33.340
you lose weight, too? Yeah, dysentery tends to,

00:54:33.380 --> 00:54:36.179
yeah. It made me lose a lot of weight that I

00:54:36.179 --> 00:54:38.360
gained back immediately. Once you drank a cup

00:54:38.360 --> 00:54:45.820
of water. It's crazy. Been losing weight? Betrayal,

00:54:45.960 --> 00:54:47.820
yeah. Yeah, you've been in the gym. I seen you,

00:54:47.860 --> 00:54:50.559
man. You back there getting it. Doing some pools.

00:54:50.559 --> 00:54:53.019
What are you doing? Right now, I'm just doing

00:54:53.019 --> 00:54:58.420
some weight lifting, some core exercise. I ain't

00:54:58.420 --> 00:54:59.739
been on the treadmill, man. I ain't gonna lie,

00:54:59.800 --> 00:55:01.300
because I've been walking around doing other

00:55:01.300 --> 00:55:04.099
shit. Yeah, you walk a shit -tough for someone

00:55:04.099 --> 00:55:06.880
your size. You walk like crazy. I tell everybody

00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:09.400
that you're so fucking just, you're light on

00:55:09.400 --> 00:55:12.019
your feet. It's like Kevin James. Yeah. And you

00:55:12.019 --> 00:55:14.920
can lift up your legs way farther than you should

00:55:14.920 --> 00:55:18.900
be. Yeah. You got flexibility. Yeah. That's a

00:55:18.900 --> 00:55:23.699
bit, shut your. Being honest. What you walk to,

00:55:23.800 --> 00:55:25.280
I remember like. Nah man, sometimes you just

00:55:25.280 --> 00:55:27.460
gotta put in your mind you can do it, you know

00:55:27.460 --> 00:55:29.360
what I'm saying? And your body doesn't break

00:55:29.360 --> 00:55:31.639
down on you. Yeah, you gotta choose between a

00:55:31.639 --> 00:55:36.440
sandwich and just living. What type of sandwich?

00:55:37.280 --> 00:55:39.159
Well you got some motherfuckers, like you got,

00:55:39.380 --> 00:55:42.219
like I'm just saying, if you're gonna be a big

00:55:42.219 --> 00:55:44.480
dude, you gotta move around a lot. Some people

00:55:44.480 --> 00:55:46.460
just rather, some big people just rather sit

00:55:46.460 --> 00:55:49.190
there. Yeah, but the sandwich. Oh, eat the sandwich

00:55:49.190 --> 00:55:53.110
and don't move. Like if you're gonna eat a burger.

00:55:53.869 --> 00:55:58.869
You gotta walk it off. And this is who you listen

00:55:58.869 --> 00:56:00.949
to about. I told you I don't eat shit, I just

00:56:00.949 --> 00:56:06.170
talk shit. No, no. But literally, I mean, if

00:56:06.170 --> 00:56:08.349
I was big, I wouldn't know what you do. Like,

00:56:08.389 --> 00:56:11.349
I mean, I'm big. It's like, I'm not gonna lie

00:56:11.349 --> 00:56:14.030
to you, like, nutrition is why I don't listen

00:56:14.030 --> 00:56:18.050
to me. But my thing is, if you... The key thing

00:56:18.050 --> 00:56:20.710
is to keep moving. And I move a lot. And that's

00:56:20.710 --> 00:56:23.389
true with Eddie. I get up every day at three

00:56:23.389 --> 00:56:25.670
in the morning. Once I'm up, I'm up. I'm drinking

00:56:25.670 --> 00:56:27.710
coffee, I'm working, I'm making money somewhere.

00:56:28.130 --> 00:56:30.010
I don't get home till probably two o 'clock p

00:56:30.010 --> 00:56:31.949
.m. Maybe three, maybe four. This motherfucker's

00:56:31.949 --> 00:56:35.210
like David Goggins, but the exact opposite. Not

00:56:35.210 --> 00:56:37.510
wrong. I'm just saying, man, when you've been

00:56:37.510 --> 00:56:40.010
homeless once before, twice before, hell, you

00:56:40.010 --> 00:56:41.570
don't want to be homeless again, so you can't

00:56:41.570 --> 00:56:45.989
get your money any kind of way. Yeah. Hell no.

00:56:48.009 --> 00:56:50.269
Were you ever homeless when you didn't have a

00:56:50.269 --> 00:56:53.489
car? Oof. Yeah. You were? Yeah. Or did you sleep?

00:56:56.869 --> 00:56:59.869
I used to sleep, like when I was in Talladega,

00:56:59.929 --> 00:57:02.269
I used to sleep at the art building, like on

00:57:02.269 --> 00:57:06.210
the porch at the art building. How long? Oh,

00:57:06.269 --> 00:57:11.610
shit, it was, it was shit. It was a low -key

00:57:11.610 --> 00:57:14.250
summer and fall thing. Jesus Christ. That's a

00:57:14.250 --> 00:57:19.210
long time. Yeah, local summer phone. And look

00:57:19.210 --> 00:57:23.309
at us now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy, bro.

00:57:23.309 --> 00:57:25.170
I called my homeboy, asked him for $20. He was

00:57:25.170 --> 00:57:27.010
like, the fuck you need $20 for? You be working.

00:57:27.809 --> 00:57:31.130
I told him my situation. He was like, you call

00:57:31.130 --> 00:57:33.809
me for $20? I finna come get your ass. Brought

00:57:33.809 --> 00:57:36.489
me up here. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Right now?

00:57:36.530 --> 00:57:39.570
Hell yeah. No, this was back then. Oh, OK. Oh,

00:57:39.570 --> 00:57:44.280
OK. Hell yeah. That's a good dude. Yeah. but

00:57:44.280 --> 00:57:48.300
somebody told me that, a dude I work with, he

00:57:48.300 --> 00:57:53.460
was like, you can't ask his dad for any money

00:57:53.460 --> 00:57:56.619
under $100. Because he's like, if you ask me

00:57:56.619 --> 00:58:00.460
for $40, I think you smoking. You know what I'm

00:58:00.460 --> 00:58:03.199
saying? If you ask for a little bit of some amount

00:58:03.199 --> 00:58:05.519
of money, that's usually for drugs. But if you

00:58:05.519 --> 00:58:06.980
ask for like a hundred or something, you need

00:58:06.980 --> 00:58:10.429
something big. And that is true. There's this

00:58:10.429 --> 00:58:13.409
chick on social media, she said that, it was

00:58:13.409 --> 00:58:16.690
funny as fuck, she said, if you need to borrow

00:58:16.690 --> 00:58:20.070
$20 to the next day, just go to bed early and

00:58:20.070 --> 00:58:27.380
wake up. That's fucking funny though. That's

00:58:27.380 --> 00:58:30.099
good as fuck. The day just needs to be over.

00:58:32.539 --> 00:58:35.800
But you know what's crazy? My folks are mad at

00:58:35.800 --> 00:58:37.659
me that I don't call them when I need help. Like

00:58:37.659 --> 00:58:39.860
I called them at the last minute. And they'd

00:58:39.860 --> 00:58:41.539
be like, why the fuck you don't call us? And

00:58:41.539 --> 00:58:44.440
I'd be like, man, I be trying to get it myself

00:58:44.440 --> 00:58:47.760
because I know I got things going on. I got things

00:58:47.760 --> 00:58:51.780
going on. It's fucked up, but sometimes I like

00:58:51.780 --> 00:58:56.199
to vision them being dead already. Because if

00:58:56.199 --> 00:58:58.420
I'm going through what I'm going through, who

00:58:58.420 --> 00:58:59.780
the fuck can I call? I can't call them because

00:58:59.780 --> 00:59:02.219
they're gone. So I got to put it in my mind until

00:59:02.219 --> 00:59:06.239
I really need it, to the point where I got to

00:59:06.239 --> 00:59:08.099
have it or else. So I'm like, damn, I got to

00:59:08.099 --> 00:59:12.880
call them. That is an interesting way. Just think

00:59:12.880 --> 00:59:18.460
people are dead. I mean... I'm literally the

00:59:18.460 --> 00:59:20.380
black sheep in my family life. I'm at a loss

00:59:20.380 --> 00:59:22.139
for words. They think I don't care about them

00:59:22.139 --> 00:59:23.920
because I don't go visit. I'm like nah, it's

00:59:23.920 --> 00:59:27.579
just like I got a lot going on. Yeah. I wouldn't

00:59:27.579 --> 00:59:30.199
mind going down to the Gulf City folks, but shit,

00:59:30.380 --> 00:59:33.059
I'll be busy. And shit keeps me up here. Yeah,

00:59:33.099 --> 00:59:35.980
you got to make your money somehow. Don't say

00:59:35.980 --> 00:59:38.239
it like that. That sound like some tricking shit.

00:59:38.699 --> 00:59:40.400
What do you mean tricking? Tricking means you're

00:59:40.400 --> 00:59:42.460
spending money. Tricking means you're fucking

00:59:42.460 --> 00:59:44.239
for money. What are you talking about? Wait,

00:59:44.300 --> 00:59:46.320
for real? Tricking is you spending money to fuck.

00:59:46.420 --> 00:59:49.260
Oh, okay. Or spending money, yeah. Oh, okay.

00:59:49.260 --> 00:59:51.659
So it ain't tricking. So Marks do the tricking.

00:59:51.780 --> 00:59:53.360
Yeah, yeah. It ain't tricking if you got it.

00:59:53.900 --> 00:59:55.159
It ain't tricking if you got it. Does that mean

00:59:55.159 --> 00:59:58.260
you just get it without paying? No, you know

00:59:58.260 --> 01:00:00.699
what tricking is, right? No, I don't. You tricking

01:00:00.699 --> 01:00:04.309
off money to get some pussy. So so you're acting

01:00:04.309 --> 01:00:06.670
like you got money to give you actually given

01:00:06.670 --> 01:00:12.989
you With playing a trick. Yeah, it's not that's

01:00:12.989 --> 01:00:15.389
not even that's it's tricking Yeah, but you got

01:00:15.389 --> 01:00:17.869
trick and if you like, oh this girl when I was

01:00:17.869 --> 01:00:20.269
young it would be like, oh you bought this girl

01:00:20.269 --> 01:00:28.110
bottle you trick and I'm like, yeah But you ain't

01:00:28.110 --> 01:00:30.090
given no now back in my day we weren't given

01:00:30.090 --> 01:00:33.929
no already we talking about a pint of They was

01:00:33.929 --> 01:00:35.329
getting on to me that, and I used to be like,

01:00:35.389 --> 01:00:38.389
it ain't trick or treat. Spend this $10 on you,

01:00:38.530 --> 01:00:40.550
baby. Okay. Now you got that nigga trying to

01:00:40.550 --> 01:00:42.050
spend a lot of shit on you, you feel me? Buying

01:00:42.050 --> 01:00:44.489
them cars and shit. I never would have. I mean,

01:00:44.590 --> 01:00:46.550
I would understand it if I was, like, I would

01:00:46.550 --> 01:00:48.190
have to be like, you know, $50 million, something

01:00:48.190 --> 01:00:50.230
like that. Then, yeah. I still would buy them

01:00:50.230 --> 01:00:52.429
cars. I seen some girl on Instagram, Ruby Rose.

01:00:52.670 --> 01:00:54.369
You love this car, girl? I still not buy them

01:00:54.369 --> 01:00:55.329
cars. It's something about her body. I still

01:00:55.329 --> 01:00:58.789
not buy them cars. It's insane. Somebody said

01:00:58.789 --> 01:01:00.329
they could find 100 rubies. You know who Ruby

01:01:00.329 --> 01:01:02.420
Rose is? Yeah. They like, you can find a hundred

01:01:02.420 --> 01:01:05.159
ruby roses. No the fuck you can't. I mean, I

01:01:05.159 --> 01:01:07.360
have never seen one in a while. Like it's, her

01:01:07.360 --> 01:01:09.820
body is like so purported, the booty set up so.

01:01:10.139 --> 01:01:13.079
Damn. Hopefully she sees this one time you get

01:01:13.079 --> 01:01:14.860
an opportunity. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully. And I

01:01:14.860 --> 01:01:18.340
don't have the money that, remember her and Jusky

01:01:18.340 --> 01:01:20.119
did that thing, they weren't really dating but.

01:01:22.239 --> 01:01:28.000
Oh, that shit, yeah. No, not her. God no. I don't

01:01:28.000 --> 01:01:29.179
know who you're talking about. I don't know who

01:01:29.179 --> 01:01:32.309
that's a ruby rose black. That's why I don't

01:01:32.309 --> 01:01:34.909
know her. So there's a white Ruby Rose and a

01:01:34.909 --> 01:01:37.150
black Ruby Rose? Yeah, the other Ruby Rose was

01:01:37.150 --> 01:01:40.150
like, and orange is the new black, I think. Who

01:01:40.150 --> 01:01:42.590
came out first, the black or the white one? I've

01:01:42.590 --> 01:01:44.630
seen the white one first, but this is the only

01:01:44.630 --> 01:01:46.349
one I remember. I didn't remember her until he

01:01:46.349 --> 01:01:49.690
sold me. Maybe her name, is it Ruby Rose? It

01:01:49.690 --> 01:01:54.050
is Ruby Rose. She has a, I follow her on Instagram.

01:01:54.590 --> 01:01:58.050
Sydney Sweeney just drops a new pic, too. Uh,

01:01:58.050 --> 01:02:00.769
we'll find a way. She's she's she's just like

01:02:00.769 --> 01:02:04.750
you like it because she's republican I do like

01:02:04.750 --> 01:02:07.869
that, you know, she'll say it but uh She's just

01:02:07.869 --> 01:02:10.010
like I love how she's like, uh, she's taking

01:02:10.010 --> 01:02:11.829
just like hot pictures I know she has her own

01:02:11.829 --> 01:02:13.670
brand of honor, but then she just takes a picture

01:02:13.670 --> 01:02:15.949
of her tits and i'm like that see More people

01:02:15.949 --> 01:02:17.869
need to be like her. She knows why she's big.

01:02:17.889 --> 01:02:20.110
It's not her acting. I'll tell you that I mean,

01:02:20.190 --> 01:02:22.070
you're not wrong. Tell you that i've never seen

01:02:22.070 --> 01:02:24.989
What's the euphoria? Euphoria? You need to watch

01:02:24.989 --> 01:02:27.159
that Is it good? The last one you needed because

01:02:27.159 --> 01:02:29.139
she became a big giant. I've seen the parts.

01:02:29.320 --> 01:02:32.059
And then she became a furry. Huh? Yeah, she became

01:02:32.059 --> 01:02:37.599
furry. Euphoria needs to, like, I've only seen

01:02:37.599 --> 01:02:39.739
the first two episodes and they were two of the

01:02:39.739 --> 01:02:42.340
most heinous things I've ever seen on television.

01:02:42.679 --> 01:02:44.920
Really? It was literally, yeah, I don't even

01:02:44.920 --> 01:02:46.400
know how to describe it without describing it.

01:02:46.400 --> 01:02:50.980
It was the worst situation I've ever seen. The

01:02:50.980 --> 01:02:54.599
dad and his son. Yeah, that was literally the

01:02:54.599 --> 01:02:59.679
so it's this dad who fucks young boys and trans

01:02:59.679 --> 01:03:04.039
people and films it, and his son, child's son,

01:03:04.179 --> 01:03:07.420
finds the porn and watches it. It's literally

01:03:07.420 --> 01:03:10.079
like the worst, the literal worst thing you could

01:03:10.079 --> 01:03:12.619
show me, and they do it. Second episode. They

01:03:12.619 --> 01:03:14.719
put the show about the kids on drugs or something?

01:03:14.820 --> 01:03:18.159
Yes, they all are on drugs. Zendaya, the fentanyl,

01:03:18.199 --> 01:03:20.940
the first episode, like it's the fucking worst

01:03:20.940 --> 01:03:22.679
thing. Like meant to do fentanyl? Yes. On purpose.

01:03:22.679 --> 01:03:24.559
She's knocking on doors, man. Begging for it.

01:03:26.969 --> 01:03:29.849
Growing up, was it like that to you? Like a lot

01:03:29.849 --> 01:03:31.809
of kids who was on drugs and dying overdose and

01:03:31.809 --> 01:03:35.230
shit like that? We had drugs, but it was the

01:03:35.230 --> 01:03:37.449
old fashioned, like the biggest one was like

01:03:37.449 --> 01:03:39.610
these two girls and they were hot too, both of

01:03:39.610 --> 01:03:42.210
them banging, they were on heroin. And that was

01:03:42.210 --> 01:03:44.809
crazy. But they were like, they were like, they

01:03:44.809 --> 01:03:46.710
were both cheerleaders and shit, but they just

01:03:46.710 --> 01:03:49.349
did heroin. I think one of them has AIDS now.

01:03:49.769 --> 01:03:53.969
And then, but you, but all, that's how I made

01:03:53.969 --> 01:04:00.500
my money, dude. all the whites did coke. All

01:04:00.500 --> 01:04:03.179
the whites in my, and I didn't do it. And so

01:04:03.179 --> 01:04:04.880
I would sell it to them. And then I was like,

01:04:04.880 --> 01:04:06.900
I was like, I can make more money selling crack.

01:04:07.019 --> 01:04:09.840
And I tried to sell crack for a month and I would

01:04:09.840 --> 01:04:12.420
never do that shit again. You got people knocking

01:04:12.420 --> 01:04:14.920
on your mama door. I'm talking about, I was like,

01:04:14.980 --> 01:04:16.719
get the fuck, no matter what you say to me, you

01:04:16.719 --> 01:04:18.320
gotta kill you, you come back here, you fucking

01:04:18.320 --> 01:04:20.159
crazy. You're like, man, I need it, I need it.

01:04:20.400 --> 01:04:22.619
Knock on the door 10 minutes later. Well, my

01:04:22.619 --> 01:04:24.500
mom would have came up there. And I was like,

01:04:24.500 --> 01:04:26.280
I can't do this shit. Almost getting stabbed.

01:04:26.539 --> 01:04:30.039
It's always they losing. Oh, one time it was

01:04:30.039 --> 01:04:32.440
like, because we didn't know how to cook, me

01:04:32.440 --> 01:04:35.719
and spoke. So it was this black chick named Tiffany

01:04:35.719 --> 01:04:39.280
and her husband, Dre, who was a white skinny

01:04:39.280 --> 01:04:41.719
dude with tattoos on his face and shit. Like

01:04:41.719 --> 01:04:43.860
one of those kind of guys. And I remember I had

01:04:43.860 --> 01:04:45.519
him fixing my car because that's what you did.

01:04:46.179 --> 01:04:48.500
Anything you need like that. He fixed my car,

01:04:48.579 --> 01:04:50.400
got in the wreck. He fixed the whole thing outside

01:04:50.400 --> 01:04:52.559
in the winter time in Illinois with nothing but

01:04:52.559 --> 01:04:55.179
latex gloves on. And I was like, I need this

01:04:55.179 --> 01:04:57.179
car tomorrow. So he didn't even have that, but

01:04:57.179 --> 01:05:00.199
we went over there to go sell, we had to sell

01:05:00.199 --> 01:05:02.360
like, it was like a quarter. So we had to cook

01:05:02.360 --> 01:05:04.639
it up, but we didn't know how to cook. So he

01:05:04.639 --> 01:05:06.500
put that shit and he put like, he was like, I'm

01:05:06.500 --> 01:05:08.619
gonna try it out first. He put a gram and a mason

01:05:08.619 --> 01:05:10.679
jar, right? And he was like trying to make it

01:05:10.679 --> 01:05:12.280
in the microwave. I'm looking at spoke. I'm like,

01:05:12.420 --> 01:05:13.920
man, I ain't never seen nobody do it. He's like,

01:05:13.940 --> 01:05:15.260
man, this shit ain't working. This shit worked

01:05:15.260 --> 01:05:18.119
all the time. But I noticed he didn't put the,

01:05:18.219 --> 01:05:20.730
he didn't pour out. the shit in the water, because

01:05:20.730 --> 01:05:22.429
he put the Coke in the water. He just put it

01:05:22.429 --> 01:05:24.250
in his sink and we had to go make this play.

01:05:24.530 --> 01:05:27.010
So we go over there and I hit, I had spoke in

01:05:27.010 --> 01:05:28.570
the back seat. I'm like, he ain't poured that

01:05:28.570 --> 01:05:30.530
out. He was like, I know, bro. He's like, sometimes

01:05:30.530 --> 01:05:32.590
you got to take losses though. So he was just

01:05:32.590 --> 01:05:34.530
already like, sometimes you got to take losses.

01:05:34.630 --> 01:05:36.750
They about to put us on this big play where this

01:05:36.750 --> 01:05:39.809
dude, rich dude with like, we drove 45 minutes,

01:05:40.269 --> 01:05:42.170
this rich dude. And like we sat in the back,

01:05:42.269 --> 01:05:44.329
like behind his barn. And then he had a house

01:05:44.329 --> 01:05:46.489
up front and they went in there and smoked crack

01:05:46.489 --> 01:05:49.840
for 45 minutes and then came. gave us all the

01:05:49.840 --> 01:05:51.400
money and then we had to drive back. But I was

01:05:51.400 --> 01:05:55.079
just like, this wasn't worth it. I was so fucking

01:05:55.079 --> 01:05:56.960
like, what the fuck are we doing out here? We

01:05:56.960 --> 01:05:58.900
don't know where to, this was before phones had

01:05:58.900 --> 01:06:02.219
GPS and shit. We're just out in the goddamn country,

01:06:02.480 --> 01:06:05.940
fucking serving white people crap. Well, he need

01:06:05.940 --> 01:06:09.659
his own snowfall. I'm gonna tease him, can we

01:06:09.659 --> 01:06:11.960
get about that shit? That's why they carry that.

01:06:12.320 --> 01:06:15.360
Half a season. You said what? I'm like, that's

01:06:15.360 --> 01:06:18.239
why they carry guns. That makes sense. You didn't

01:06:18.239 --> 01:06:20.000
fucking need it. That's smart, that's smart.

01:06:20.320 --> 01:06:21.960
I knew some drug dealers ain't gonna say no names,

01:06:22.039 --> 01:06:23.280
but I used to be in the house when they were

01:06:23.280 --> 01:06:25.260
cooking this shit in the microwave. It makes

01:06:25.260 --> 01:06:27.420
this shit look easy as fuck. I mean, it makes

01:06:27.420 --> 01:06:28.800
sense you can do, because you just gotta heat

01:06:28.800 --> 01:06:30.460
it up and then put it on coal, then it's gonna

01:06:30.460 --> 01:06:32.780
come back. See, they caught them circles when

01:06:32.780 --> 01:06:34.199
I was watching it. They caught them, because

01:06:34.199 --> 01:06:36.280
when it came out, it came out like a little circle.

01:06:36.679 --> 01:06:38.079
In the microwave? Yeah, in the crack circle.

01:06:38.460 --> 01:06:40.019
They just put it in the bag, crunch it up, sell

01:06:40.019 --> 01:06:44.460
that shit. Boys I know what we're doing tonight.

01:06:44.460 --> 01:06:46.280
Oh, yeah, we're gonna make some money. No the

01:06:46.280 --> 01:06:50.059
fuck we know No, we're joking We just smoke a

01:06:50.059 --> 01:06:52.920
little crack. Yeah, I mean, it's okay You ain't

01:06:52.920 --> 01:06:55.260
gonna try with us. It's not no fentanyl in it.

01:06:55.260 --> 01:06:58.639
There's no fat. No, man You get stronger. Mm

01:06:58.639 --> 01:07:00.260
-hmm. You can do shit. You live up this house

01:07:00.260 --> 01:07:02.920
right now. We could do some cool. I'll be that

01:07:02.920 --> 01:07:06.960
strong Yeah, if you okay. Okay. All right. This

01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:10.679
is a good one If you smoked crack and you got

01:07:10.679 --> 01:07:13.519
two superpowers of your choosing, would you do

01:07:13.519 --> 01:07:15.940
it? Like every time you smoked it, it only lasts

01:07:15.940 --> 01:07:19.659
for 15 minutes. It activates. You get two superpowers,

01:07:19.719 --> 01:07:21.699
would you smoke crack? Yes. Yes, I would. Would

01:07:21.699 --> 01:07:26.940
you do it? Guaranteed. A million percent. That's

01:07:26.940 --> 01:07:28.320
not even a question. He's got shit he's trying

01:07:28.320 --> 01:07:30.559
to do for 15 minutes. What powers do you want?

01:07:30.780 --> 01:07:32.280
What powers would you get? Dude, I would love

01:07:32.280 --> 01:07:33.699
super intelligence where I could do whatever

01:07:33.699 --> 01:07:37.889
I want. I'd help myself get rich. And I'm doing

01:07:37.889 --> 01:07:39.869
drugs. Okay, you got a smoke crush, so you get

01:07:39.869 --> 01:07:41.769
15 minutes of high, so you get 15 minutes of

01:07:41.769 --> 01:07:44.849
superpowers. So you got super intelligence, one

01:07:44.849 --> 01:07:46.389
whatsoever. But you're also high on crap. Yeah,

01:07:46.449 --> 01:07:48.230
but you're also high on crap. Dude, you could

01:07:48.230 --> 01:07:50.230
do that before sex, too. You can make your stuff,

01:07:50.230 --> 01:07:52.329
like do some cool stuff. So you want sex as your

01:07:52.329 --> 01:07:54.170
second superpower? What was that? Yeah, I was

01:07:54.170 --> 01:07:56.449
like, well, no, I want super strength. Okay.

01:07:56.610 --> 01:07:59.409
Like super strength, invincibility. Well, you

01:07:59.409 --> 01:08:00.909
only get two. Wait, hold on, let me take that

01:08:00.909 --> 01:08:04.130
back. So I want invincibility. And then I want,

01:08:04.650 --> 01:08:08.070
let me think, let me think. Man, what would be

01:08:08.070 --> 01:08:12.530
cool? What's some, what? I guess invisibility

01:08:12.530 --> 01:08:14.130
where I could just like stick my hand through

01:08:14.130 --> 01:08:17.949
a wall and grab stuff. That's translucent. Oh,

01:08:17.949 --> 01:08:20.109
I would be translucent. I want time travel and

01:08:20.109 --> 01:08:23.390
mind control. Dude, that's actually really good.

01:08:23.409 --> 01:08:26.489
Go back in time fucking high as shit. But if

01:08:26.489 --> 01:08:28.770
you get stuck though, you gotta find crack in

01:08:28.770 --> 01:08:31.189
the fucking 20s. You know what I mean? You gotta

01:08:31.189 --> 01:08:33.329
make it yourself. You gotta make crack for the

01:08:33.329 --> 01:08:36.829
first time. Time travel is good. You can't change

01:08:36.829 --> 01:08:39.270
yours now Brandon. You can't get the... And black

01:08:39.270 --> 01:08:41.050
people shouldn't time travel. Yeah, I'd be fucked

01:08:41.050 --> 01:08:43.609
man, on crack. Would you do it, first of all?

01:08:43.850 --> 01:08:46.210
A crack? Yeah. If you got the two superpowers.

01:08:46.789 --> 01:08:49.029
Come on. Every time you smoke, you got two superpowers.

01:08:49.270 --> 01:08:50.710
Yeah, I'd do it. You'd do it, what would you

01:08:50.710 --> 01:08:56.029
be your two superpowers? I would time travel

01:08:56.029 --> 01:09:03.550
at super speed. Okay. I would definitely. Well,

01:09:03.590 --> 01:09:08.930
hold up. Cause it kinda go hand in hand cause

01:09:08.930 --> 01:09:10.630
if you got super speed you can kinda run your

01:09:10.630 --> 01:09:12.930
stuff back in time. You only got 15 minutes.

01:09:13.210 --> 01:09:19.930
He's using comic book logic. Speed and time travel.

01:09:20.369 --> 01:09:22.210
I'll go back there and save all the great blacks

01:09:22.210 --> 01:09:25.989
who got killed. Hell yeah. But you can still

01:09:25.989 --> 01:09:27.869
get, if you got super speed you can still get

01:09:27.869 --> 01:09:30.369
shot. You gotta catch them first. Yeah that's

01:09:30.369 --> 01:09:33.149
true. They only got muskets and shit back then.

01:09:36.090 --> 01:09:40.670
I do teleportate teleportation for sure and then

01:09:40.670 --> 01:09:45.069
the healing thing like the healing factor just

01:09:45.069 --> 01:09:47.050
calls all kind of ruckus and if you get shot

01:09:47.050 --> 01:09:49.149
you get you dude I should have done that because

01:09:49.149 --> 01:09:51.029
then nobody will get mad at you for doing correct

01:09:51.029 --> 01:09:53.369
but everybody be like man Brandon needs to do

01:09:53.369 --> 01:09:56.010
crap because you can heal people oh boy and then

01:09:56.010 --> 01:09:58.770
when you ill heal you in real life too because

01:09:58.770 --> 01:10:01.630
you smoke the crack right and then you get these

01:10:01.630 --> 01:10:03.890
powers, but then it heals your body. So saying

01:10:03.890 --> 01:10:05.850
if you have cancer or something, it would heal

01:10:05.850 --> 01:10:08.550
it. It would do that. But would it make you sober

01:10:08.550 --> 01:10:11.390
the second it activated? Would it detox your

01:10:11.390 --> 01:10:13.850
body? That would be even better. Yeah. Especially

01:10:13.850 --> 01:10:15.569
not being sober because now I can enjoy crack.

01:10:15.569 --> 01:10:17.130
All I have to do is smoke crack and my cancer's

01:10:17.130 --> 01:10:20.729
cured? You can do crack. We ain't never gonna

01:10:20.729 --> 01:10:22.670
smoke crack because this shit gonna happen. Yeah,

01:10:22.710 --> 01:10:24.649
I'm only smoking if I get powers. Me too. You

01:10:24.649 --> 01:10:26.689
will. First of all, if you smoke crack, you will

01:10:26.689 --> 01:10:29.170
definitely get powers. You ever seen a crackhead?

01:10:29.310 --> 01:10:31.010
They'll jump off this roof right now, do a backflip,

01:10:31.069 --> 01:10:32.989
break their leg, but nothing happens for something.

01:10:34.170 --> 01:10:37.109
They never get hurt. But that comes with years

01:10:37.109 --> 01:10:38.869
after crack, because so much crack in their body,

01:10:38.989 --> 01:10:40.989
they ain't gonna feel that shit. Yeah, it's like

01:10:40.989 --> 01:10:46.449
Wolverine's skeleton, like the crackhead. I mean,

01:10:46.449 --> 01:10:49.390
that'd be good. All right, peace. Hell yeah,

01:10:49.489 --> 01:11:27.279
Coach. Hate Scrappy Doo.