WEBVTT

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Can you tell us about your first memory? Oh,

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yes. Oh my god Now this is where my first ever

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memory and I've had this since I was literally

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in pre -k And younger before that is me And like

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a like a little basket with these nuns just holding

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me and then they put me in this like portal of

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light And then everything just gets bright and

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then I I don't know what happened after that

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I believe you. I know because I believe that's

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what happened too. I believe that's how you started

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your new life. We're back. We are back. Clown

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college in the building. Well, yeah. You thought

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we were gone, but we're just taking a year off.

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You know what I'm saying? It's just like whenever

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you go to real college and you know you're not

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going to do whatever you're going for. Oh, yeah.

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True, true. You take a take a year off or you

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come back. It's been a lot of a lot of new things

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happen around the scene, huh? Yeah, the scene

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has completely like a like a caterpillar. It's

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completely transformed. Wouldn't say it turned

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into a butterfly. and morphed into something

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that we have to fix. But we're ready. We're ready.

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And we have the fire lit under us. Hell yeah.

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We got to start doing some more stuff. We got

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some new members of the scene, though. We got

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two famous people that have came down here and

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are part of the scene. Who's the second one?

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Well, the first one is Robert Hoffman. Oh, shit.

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And he is the star of Step Up to the Streets.

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True. And aliens in the attic. Aliens in the

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attic? I saw that in 09. I was probably about

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six years old. What's the plot of aliens in the

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attic? So it's about like you got these older

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siblings and then these younger siblings and

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these aliens come in and hide in the attic. Well,

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that too, yeah. And then, man, it's been so long,

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but then they somehow take over the bigger brothers,

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which one of them was Robert Hoffman. OK. And

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then they just control, like, they give them

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a remote control to the kids where they can control

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their siblings. I don't like that. I know that's

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weird. That is a very weird plot. That could

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have been something else. I would have loved

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it if I was a kid. What would you have done?

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No, I'm talking about like a movie. Jesus Christ,

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Brandon. What would you take it about? Yeah,

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we're talking about wholesome movies here. Oh,

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you have like man wholesome actors like We're

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trying to we're trying to say come out and see

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as we got famous people now We also have one

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of the original members of SEAL team six Listen

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to me listen to me this man comes up on stage

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and the first thing he says is I have PTSD and

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No, that's bullshit. I mean, I'm not saying he

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doesn't. I'm not saying he doesn't. He didn't

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make a joke about it. At least make a fucking

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joke. I got PTSD now I'm gonna kill my wife and

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kids something that's funny As someone who doesn't

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want to get murdered at an open mic, I love his

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comedy. I love it I was hearing men screaming

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at that Cheers place. Oh, yeah We were like killer

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that can't be him something's going on in there

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and he's just slay I never got I didn't get to

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hear a set and I'm mad about it But I want I

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want to but yeah, so he was on the original SEAL

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team six and he killed Ben Damn. Yeah, you didn't

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know that, did you? I didn't know that. That's

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crazy. I would have never knew. Him and Tom Hand,

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they went... Oh, no. He fucking dropped his motherfucker.

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This is the bridge -burning episode. Who do you

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hate, Brandon? Who do you hate in the scene?

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In the scene? Nobody. I do like Robert Hoffman.

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We hung out with him for an extended period of

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time the other night and I'll be damned if it's

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not like a 10 -15 % increase. I know it was great.

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He made me laugh so hard, like I haven't laughed

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in a while. What did he do? He got your ass.

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So we were just talking normally and I know he

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just looked at me, Dom, Alex and Scott and was

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like, oh yeah, and by the way, I've jacked off

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all around y 'all in a separate room or something.

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I just want you to know that, hey, I was in the

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building with you, and I jacked off. I was like,

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cool. But dude, I couldn't take it. Because it's

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like, we were having a wholesome conversation,

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that just came out of nowhere, and he was looking

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at my eyes too. It probably wasn't wholesome,

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but it was out of nowhere. I felt like there

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was a shift change. That a chance it was wholesome.

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It shifted the mood. It came out of nowhere.

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Shit. Nah, but we're starting from, we've also

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lost a few of our boys, and we're really only

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one. But it feels like a big loss because he

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was the only one that I felt comfortable bullying.

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You know how Dom bullies everybody and loves

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it? I had that with a man once. And it felt good,

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didn't it? And it felt so good. It felt amazing.

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It felt so good. I'll be damned if it wasn't

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slightly homoerotic, but damn. We're talking,

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of course, about Charles Hood. Charles Hood,

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shout out. stinkier pastures, I wouldn't say

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greener pastures. We should get like a Charles,

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like a man to the street in New York. Get him

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to check in. Yeah, so Charles Hood, he's a two

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-time guest on this. He's moved to New York to

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try to, you know, make it big and his roommate.

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He says smells like cat piss and he had he's

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he's only like 23 and he's balding with a mullet

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Damn, yeah, it's rough and you smell and not

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in the cool way. No like yeah, not no. No. No.

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He has a hunch in his back It's a bad thing like

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he went down there, you know, he's like, I'm

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gonna get down there. He's a virgin He's I'm

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gonna get some ass. I'm like not like that not

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living with him You cannot bring a woman over

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there. Oh, God. Do you imagine? You just can't.

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Cat piss is something strong, brother. It really

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is. And like Charles is like his room's the only

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safe haven because the cats don't go in there

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like that. That is awful. You sit down somewhere

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and it gets on you. Oh, yeah. You can't get that

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off. So you got to get them spayed or neutered

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or something like that. Yeah. They spray everywhere.

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Just let them just accidentally let them out.

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Honestly, oh damn you like cats. Uh, yeah, I've

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started to grow with cats. I used to have like

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a little fear Still do Jake did Jake get you

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over that with shingles. What's his name? Damn,

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what is it sneaks sneaks sneaks squeaks squeaks?

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Oh, he's gonna be heartbroken. He will be so

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sad I'm sorry. I love squeaks Yeah, squeeze.

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I remember I was hesitant. I was sitting down

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and jumped on my lap. I was like, whoa, and then

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it just started like rubbing on me and stuff.

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That's what that's all it takes for you. I know.

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And then once it did that, I just gave in. I

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started rubbing it and stuff back. I was like,

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man, I like this cat. This is great. The cat's

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Stockholm. And then he'll try to catch me. It

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never has caught me yet. He'll try to get me

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off his claws. He can't do it. Too quick for

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him. You've had a busy... Busy time since we've

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been out of here. Got a busy time coming up I

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know like I was working at psych war for a little

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bit now and now I'm at Bass Pro where a dude

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tried to I guess sexually harassed me. Harass

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or assault? Assault. I was asking what happened

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nobody would tell me they were like just know

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that this dude It's never allowed at another

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Bass Pro again. And then I finally got one of

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my bros in the corner. Well, not in the corner,

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but I talked to him and got him to tell me. Yeah,

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you didn't do what this man did to you, not him.

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I was just like, hey. You didn't corner a man.

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No, I don't do that. I was like, what happened?

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He said, well, this dude was sexually harassing

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everybody, like this girl, another girl. And

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he said, a dude. And I started laughing. I was

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like, oh, damn, he's getting everybody. And he

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said, Brandon. Don't be honest. He was looking

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at you too from a corner. I Just didn't want

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to say nothing and then I just was gonna let

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you I know because he was like I don't know how

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you react and then I Laughed and said not again

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and then he was like, oh not against I had explained

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Then he said the worst part he laughs he's like

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Well, it's a good thing they got him because

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he was going to dick you down. Like, I wouldn't

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go. Oh, my God. Like, I wasn't going to stop

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him. Could you wait? Oh, yeah. OK, wait. You

00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:19.759
are. Are you telling us you weren't going to

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stop him or you're? Oh, no, I would. I could

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stop him. He's saying like the dude was saying

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that like as if Brandon. I see. You're going

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to walk up and just just just bring me over on

00:09:29.039 --> 00:09:31.700
the fucking cloven rack and do some shit. Anybody

00:09:31.700 --> 00:09:36.559
you do in a bend. Yes. I'm gonna be honest, if

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it comes down to it, but that's not gonna happen.

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Yeah, because he's gone. Yeah, plus, I would

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stop him. I would be like, hey, man, no. That's

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not happening. Brandon, how does it happen to

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you all the time? I don't know. He was gonna

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come to some of my shows. And you're a grown

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man now. I know. I gotta look over my back outside

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and shit, make sure these dudes ain't trying

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to do shit. But then you say when you found out

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he got fired, you were excited because you liked

00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:01.759
him, you were like... Yes. You came up to me

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like, damn, what's his name? I say Mark. They're

00:10:04.720 --> 00:10:06.759
like, hey, where Mark at? I love that dude. He's

00:10:06.759 --> 00:10:08.600
cool. And then he's like, well, Mark's a serial

00:10:08.600 --> 00:10:12.500
rapist. And he tried to take your ass out of

00:10:12.500 --> 00:10:14.379
the conversation with you. And basically the

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next day, the first day, they didn't want to

00:10:15.759 --> 00:10:17.360
tell me what happened. I just kept asking. I'm

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like, what happened to Mark, man? What's up?

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He wanted to come to my shows and stuff. We need

00:10:26.230 --> 00:10:29.950
to be more careful about who we tell about. I'm

00:10:29.950 --> 00:10:32.029
starting to get scared. I'm like about to become

00:10:32.029 --> 00:10:33.870
like one of those people that's like just hides

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inside. Like agoraphobic, you know what I mean?

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Like I'm convinced that one of these open mics

00:10:40.559 --> 00:10:43.940
are gonna get terrorized by some marginalized

00:10:43.940 --> 00:10:45.759
group. The nigga I was talking to in the first

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of this, he will blow some people's heads back.

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Yeah, I'm worried about that. And if I die because

00:10:49.399 --> 00:10:51.120
of this fucking pot, I'm gonna be so pissed.

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That would suck, man. Speaking of, I mean, there

00:10:53.100 --> 00:10:55.559
are guns and stuff, like shit's getting real.

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Oh my God, these motherfuckers. So me and Dan,

00:11:00.980 --> 00:11:03.019
both been in the military, don't like, well,

00:11:03.019 --> 00:11:05.590
nobody likes a fucking... Pistol pointed at him

00:11:05.590 --> 00:11:07.789
even if it has nothing in I don't trust not fun.

00:11:07.830 --> 00:11:10.929
I've seen too many Facebook Videos motherfuckers

00:11:10.929 --> 00:11:14.370
blowing they shit back on accident so I was asking

00:11:14.370 --> 00:11:16.269
Scott what you're going to buy. He brought his

00:11:16.269 --> 00:11:19.190
out. He had a magazine empty, though. You know,

00:11:19.230 --> 00:11:21.190
nothing in it. He showed us. But he was still

00:11:21.190 --> 00:11:23.889
flagging too much. And me and Dan like, hey,

00:11:23.889 --> 00:11:25.529
stop. Stop doing that. He's like, there's nothing

00:11:25.529 --> 00:11:26.990
you could blow through it. I was like, I understand

00:11:26.990 --> 00:11:29.309
all that. Just don't do it. And then Money G

00:11:29.309 --> 00:11:32.090
pulls out a Pokemon backpack and he pulls out

00:11:32.090 --> 00:11:36.370
a goddamn extendo and points it right at everybody.

00:11:36.730 --> 00:11:39.129
Oh, they got in the car. He just honked his horn

00:11:39.129 --> 00:11:42.789
like, fuck this. I ran to. Hell, yeah. I just

00:11:42.789 --> 00:11:43.960
saw down. on the barrel of that motherfucker.

00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:46.759
He said, hey, look at this. You can do his voice.

00:11:47.139 --> 00:11:50.340
Oh, yeah. What's up, brother? How y 'all doing

00:11:50.340 --> 00:11:54.519
over here? Fit this gap through my pussy, make

00:11:54.519 --> 00:11:57.139
it queef. I don't know what I mean, brother.

00:11:59.740 --> 00:12:02.940
Buddy G we gotta get I love that something buddy

00:12:02.940 --> 00:12:05.419
G over here. Just let him talk. Oh, yeah, buddy

00:12:05.419 --> 00:12:10.240
G be hype, but he'll go to cry It would be like

00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:13.100
an episode of what's uh, what's Jada Smith show

00:12:13.100 --> 00:12:17.179
he'd be like Yeah, he come in here talking about

00:12:17.179 --> 00:12:20.240
bitches with roaches in their house pussy Then

00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:22.399
all of a sudden it goes too bad. Just lost everybody.

00:12:24.059 --> 00:12:26.299
There's a type of person where like, there's

00:12:26.299 --> 00:12:28.039
a type of crazy person where you don't want anything

00:12:28.039 --> 00:12:30.100
to do with them. But then there's a type of person

00:12:30.100 --> 00:12:32.649
where you want. Definitely to be on their side.

00:12:32.809 --> 00:12:36.289
Oh hell yeah. I do not want to be anywhere else

00:12:36.289 --> 00:12:39.009
but behind that man. And I don't mean that way.

00:12:39.750 --> 00:12:43.149
I don't mean in a Brandon way. Because you behind.

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Well I wouldn't be there but if I had to. Nobody's

00:12:48.909 --> 00:12:52.370
getting me there. What would it take? What would

00:12:52.370 --> 00:12:54.889
it take for what? How much? How much? How much

00:12:54.889 --> 00:12:58.429
or like is there like something I could do for

00:12:58.429 --> 00:13:02.679
you that would? that would make you consider?

00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:06.899
Not me, not me. Let's say you even get the choice

00:13:06.899 --> 00:13:11.120
of fella. You get a choice of the dude? That's

00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:14.159
crazy. Yeah, I'm asking a lot of you. I'm like,

00:13:14.299 --> 00:13:16.299
this is too much, I don't want to do it. So who's

00:13:16.299 --> 00:13:18.220
the most attractive man to you, like you've ever

00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:20.740
seen, like on TV? You never seen - Everybody

00:13:20.740 --> 00:13:24.159
has one. You're like, that's a good looking guy.

00:13:24.980 --> 00:13:27.360
Damn, let me let me say like for me. It's Keenan

00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:32.419
Worthington. No You know what y 'all go first

00:13:32.419 --> 00:13:35.320
I want y 'all to go first, huh? Yeah, Brad Pitt

00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:37.679
Brad Pitt me Joe black. Mm -hmm. Me Joe back.

00:13:37.740 --> 00:13:39.559
Yeah Brad Pitt's a pretty girl. Did you lick

00:13:39.559 --> 00:13:42.500
your lips? No, I my lips I said Joe black and

00:13:42.500 --> 00:13:44.539
then when I said it my lips been getting worse

00:13:44.539 --> 00:13:50.019
Once I got ashy lips Dude it's been like that.

00:13:50.019 --> 00:13:53.460
What's yours? A guy I feel like I just saw on

00:13:53.460 --> 00:13:58.090
the I feel like I just saw it the other day.

00:13:59.629 --> 00:14:04.750
Ah, fuck, that's a good question. Oh, James Marsden.

00:14:05.429 --> 00:14:09.350
Oh, that's your boy. The guy in Sonic. Oh, the

00:14:09.350 --> 00:14:12.309
other kids movie that you know. Yeah, he's cool.

00:14:12.409 --> 00:14:14.250
I'm not gonna lie, I would pick him too. Old

00:14:14.250 --> 00:14:16.350
school guy, Matt Dillon. We were just watching

00:14:16.350 --> 00:14:19.110
something about Mary, Matt Dillon. Matt Dillon,

00:14:19.350 --> 00:14:23.279
yeah. Damn. You can't pick one that you can't

00:14:23.279 --> 00:14:25.899
just say his. But no, I mean, because that does

00:14:25.899 --> 00:14:28.159
sound OK. Let me think. He's the hottest one

00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:29.659
to you. But that's just of what you hear. Let

00:14:29.659 --> 00:14:31.059
me think. Let me think of somebody else. Let

00:14:31.059 --> 00:14:33.700
me think of somebody else that I do right behind

00:14:33.700 --> 00:14:36.779
you. Rikishi. Rikishi. What about this guy? Whoa,

00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:41.600
damn. You're right. Say him. No, okay. Have you

00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:43.879
ever touched somebody that's like, it doesn't

00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:46.639
feel good. They feel like rubber. Yeah, it doesn't,

00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:49.799
I don't like it. I like a normal human feeling.

00:14:49.980 --> 00:14:53.360
I have been watching a lot of like, swole girl

00:14:53.360 --> 00:14:56.820
porn. Yeah, it will it's this one like on she's

00:14:56.820 --> 00:15:02.919
on some type of Twitter Scott gave me this site.

00:15:02.940 --> 00:15:06.379
It's called pimp bunny. Oh my god Look, but you

00:15:06.379 --> 00:15:08.960
can search you can search like all the only only

00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:11.899
fans that because on my Twitter is it's polluted

00:15:11.899 --> 00:15:14.360
I'm gonna just say that now it's it's rowdy And

00:15:14.360 --> 00:15:16.559
so I look them up on there because it's like

00:15:16.559 --> 00:15:18.259
you've seen them before in real life now You

00:15:18.259 --> 00:15:22.539
get to see I'm doing whatever they're doing So

00:15:22.539 --> 00:15:24.059
what do you have to pay for it? So you don't

00:15:24.059 --> 00:15:26.600
have to pay and this could be any only fans person

00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:29.799
if they're all like it's obviously the users

00:15:29.799 --> 00:15:32.480
Yeah, rip it and upload it or some shit. Yeah,

00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:34.340
I think they got some kind of deal with them.

00:15:34.940 --> 00:15:37.399
Yeah, there's that mean Yeah, honest. I don't

00:15:37.399 --> 00:15:41.379
know how any shit works Yeah, I stopped using

00:15:41.379 --> 00:15:46.509
only fans After I like left too many paying for

00:15:46.509 --> 00:15:50.210
for like And I would only like pay I would only

00:15:50.210 --> 00:15:53.929
pay for only fans for people that were like like

00:15:53.929 --> 00:15:59.409
Unique looking like not normal amputee. No, I'm

00:15:59.409 --> 00:16:02.590
kidding Oh, but like it. Yes. No, I know essentially

00:16:02.590 --> 00:16:05.169
like that crazy like, you know Yeah, there's

00:16:05.169 --> 00:16:07.669
a little person that uh, I can't find her stuff

00:16:07.669 --> 00:16:10.110
and I was thinking about what she just see thick

00:16:10.110 --> 00:16:12.970
though I'm saying I showed you you guys it does

00:16:12.970 --> 00:16:16.269
get fucked up very quickly though, but we won't

00:16:16.269 --> 00:16:20.409
go there What gets fucked up yeah, what I'm curious

00:16:20.409 --> 00:16:23.870
little people little We can't say that. Yeah

00:16:23.870 --> 00:16:30.250
Oh, yeah, that's a good fucking joke. Don't search

00:16:30.250 --> 00:16:32.169
that. Yeah, just whatever you do put midgets.

00:16:32.370 --> 00:16:36.149
Yes When you're on you can't cuz who wants to

00:16:36.149 --> 00:16:38.230
be called little people exactly. You know what?

00:16:38.549 --> 00:16:41.250
I always think that Yeah, cuz they're whole a

00:16:41.250 --> 00:16:43.690
whole person to me. Yeah, they're not like, you

00:16:43.690 --> 00:16:46.690
know, I mean no pun intended that sounds belittling

00:16:46.809 --> 00:16:48.730
Well, you know to me, I don't know if they now

00:16:48.730 --> 00:16:51.889
they might like it it is Yeah, if they if they

00:16:51.889 --> 00:16:53.730
like it, but I was I would rather be called a

00:16:53.730 --> 00:16:55.409
midget But then it's like how do you get a word

00:16:55.409 --> 00:16:57.889
now? Mm -hmm. But then how do you like get a

00:16:57.889 --> 00:17:00.889
consensus on shit like that? Like because like

00:17:00.889 --> 00:17:02.850
the whole the whole black and african -american

00:17:02.850 --> 00:17:05.410
that was white people just doing it. Yes That's

00:17:05.410 --> 00:17:07.589
why I can't stand I mean, it's just better than

00:17:07.589 --> 00:17:09.289
they would just run around calling everybody

00:17:09.289 --> 00:17:12.869
the hard. Oh, yeah But everybody ain't fucking

00:17:12.869 --> 00:17:16.240
african. You got a Jamaican Here like I'm American.

00:17:16.299 --> 00:17:18.380
Well, you're like for you. You're American -american.

00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:20.220
So it's weird to call you African -american.

00:17:20.299 --> 00:17:23.880
Yeah Ain't nobody like my grandma 98 about to

00:17:23.880 --> 00:17:26.640
be 99 if you could she don't know nobody else

00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:29.500
in Africa What would you pick to be called if

00:17:29.500 --> 00:17:31.559
you could if you had a choice if it wasn't like

00:17:31.559 --> 00:17:35.819
black African -american, you know I don't know.

00:17:35.819 --> 00:17:39.420
I mean maybe honestly, we just say my name. That's

00:17:39.420 --> 00:17:42.859
it. Just say my name That's the best thing. They'd

00:17:42.859 --> 00:17:45.819
be like, what nationality are you? Just say his

00:17:45.819 --> 00:17:48.920
name. I'm Brandon Willis. I'm a person. Yes.

00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:51.240
I'm a person first. See, I'm a human being. Yeah.

00:17:51.299 --> 00:17:54.660
For real. You're a homo... Sapien. Yep. Hell

00:17:54.660 --> 00:17:57.119
yeah. That's my boy. Yeah. Trying to give me

00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:59.299
say that something else. Homoerotic, yeah. See,

00:17:59.299 --> 00:18:01.579
I don't know what homoerotic means. What's homoerotic?

00:18:02.420 --> 00:18:05.259
Homoerotic. You know what erotic, like erotic

00:18:05.259 --> 00:18:08.359
fiction or... You know you got homo sapien as

00:18:08.359 --> 00:18:11.210
humans, right? Okay. homoerotic is like the humans

00:18:11.210 --> 00:18:13.609
there. That's like right before humans. Oh, like

00:18:13.609 --> 00:18:16.349
Neanderthals. Yeah. But like after them. Oh,

00:18:16.470 --> 00:18:17.990
so that was in the homoerotic period. It's the

00:18:17.990 --> 00:18:20.690
missing link. Mm hmm. Now I wonder what happened

00:18:20.690 --> 00:18:26.269
to them. Too much sex. Too much sex. Damn. Oh,

00:18:26.269 --> 00:18:30.589
see. Yeah, that's what they got outbred by the

00:18:30.589 --> 00:18:36.190
homo sapiens. They couldn't have any babies.

00:18:36.329 --> 00:18:38.930
Yeah, you gotta have kids. Well, you don't have

00:18:38.930 --> 00:18:43.250
to, shit. Y 'all want kids? Huh? Y 'all want

00:18:43.250 --> 00:18:47.460
kids? Yeah. I got a mate soon. Oh, yeah. You

00:18:47.460 --> 00:18:50.200
know, you got till you're 70. Yeah. True. Yeah,

00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:51.640
we got we got. But you know, I want to be able

00:18:51.640 --> 00:18:53.660
to, you know, because if he jump out of the body

00:18:53.660 --> 00:18:56.319
when he's 10, if I have him at 40, 50, I can

00:18:56.319 --> 00:18:57.960
still fuck him up. Yeah. True. You know what

00:18:57.960 --> 00:19:00.299
I'm saying? If I'm 60 now, little motherfucker

00:19:00.299 --> 00:19:03.539
might get me. I got to shoot him. Yeah, that's

00:19:03.539 --> 00:19:05.779
my mom told me. Marvin Gaye his ass. That's my

00:19:05.779 --> 00:19:10.500
mom told me. Is that Marvin Gaye or Otis Redding?

00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:12.319
Am I racist? Oh, no, that's Marvin Gaye. That

00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:16.849
was Marvin Gaye. What's been new with you, Alex?

00:19:17.589 --> 00:19:21.470
Oh, shit. Fat Sammy's are me and Brandon's open

00:19:21.470 --> 00:19:25.109
mic ended. Yeah, I forget when. I feel like March.

00:19:25.109 --> 00:19:28.170
I don't even fucking remember my birthday. Yeah.

00:19:28.269 --> 00:19:30.230
When was your birthday? March 22nd. OK, then

00:19:30.230 --> 00:19:33.589
yeah, it was around March and we don't have a

00:19:33.589 --> 00:19:37.200
show yet. Honestly, my plan was to let the scene

00:19:37.200 --> 00:19:39.819
die a little more, and then come back and save

00:19:39.819 --> 00:19:43.660
it so I look like a hero. So, we got like another

00:19:43.660 --> 00:19:46.960
week and a half, and then I'll start doing some

00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:49.640
shit. Nah, I've just been, I got a girlfriend.

00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:53.140
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. They're cool. They're cool

00:19:53.140 --> 00:19:56.359
as shit. Their name's Nat, like the bug, and

00:19:56.359 --> 00:19:58.900
I love them very much. Right, Brandon? Hell yeah.

00:20:00.309 --> 00:20:02.829
You notice how I had to throw to Brandon right

00:20:02.829 --> 00:20:06.950
after that to avoid the emotion. No, they're

00:20:06.950 --> 00:20:10.750
cool as shit. We moved in together. We have a

00:20:10.750 --> 00:20:15.809
cat. It's their cat. Dude, after meeting their

00:20:15.809 --> 00:20:18.049
cat, every other cat seems like the devil. They

00:20:18.049 --> 00:20:20.430
got one of the good ones. The chill ones that

00:20:20.430 --> 00:20:23.519
straight up don't fuck shit up or anything. any

00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:25.920
other cat I meet seems like a nightmare now.

00:20:26.180 --> 00:20:28.680
Yeah, they always want something. Yeah. They

00:20:28.680 --> 00:20:30.440
always want something or they have to have things

00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:33.039
done in particular because that's my least favorite

00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:36.420
thing with pets when their owners spoil them

00:20:36.420 --> 00:20:39.339
to weird, like in weird specific ways because

00:20:39.339 --> 00:20:40.720
you're going to have to have someone watch your

00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:42.480
pet one day and they're going to have to deal

00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:54.190
with that shit and that's awful. Hell yeah. You

00:20:54.190 --> 00:20:57.029
can't have nobody watch your dog if you if look

00:20:57.029 --> 00:20:59.670
I understand people be like, oh, it's my kid

00:20:59.670 --> 00:21:01.990
and all that shit Yeah, but you can't leave your

00:21:01.990 --> 00:21:04.509
kid at the kennel and have somebody else watch

00:21:04.509 --> 00:21:07.349
them I mean just like just for for that long

00:21:07.349 --> 00:21:09.569
and then they just jumping on people when you

00:21:09.569 --> 00:21:13.430
come in the house Come on, bro, calm down or

00:21:13.430 --> 00:21:14.809
put them in another room when somebody come up,

00:21:14.829 --> 00:21:17.029
you know, they don't like people True. That's

00:21:17.029 --> 00:21:19.009
the way it go. I straight up, I was cat sitting

00:21:19.009 --> 00:21:22.329
the other week and one of the cats was so fucking

00:21:22.329 --> 00:21:23.869
evil. It was one of those that just hissed at

00:21:23.869 --> 00:21:26.329
you every time you passed and it came feeding

00:21:26.329 --> 00:21:30.890
time and they have to be fed at the moment. I

00:21:30.890 --> 00:21:33.859
hate that too. cats that can't hold their shit

00:21:33.859 --> 00:21:36.259
and like you just leave their food because cats

00:21:36.259 --> 00:21:37.720
that's what I thought you did you can just leave

00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:40.039
food out and they'll be fine nah these cats will

00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:42.019
just eat anything you put in front of them so

00:21:42.019 --> 00:21:43.500
you have to feed them at the time it was sitting

00:21:43.500 --> 00:21:45.980
in front of its food and wouldn't let me get

00:21:45.980 --> 00:21:49.079
fucking past it because they're stupid animals

00:21:49.079 --> 00:21:51.819
right so like I didn't understand that I needed

00:21:51.819 --> 00:21:55.339
to be there to feed it and then when I finally

00:21:55.339 --> 00:21:57.640
had to like get like a broom to like pull the

00:21:57.640 --> 00:22:00.460
food out from behind it it was freaking out and

00:22:00.460 --> 00:22:04.339
I finally did it And I set the food out and another

00:22:04.339 --> 00:22:07.819
cat started eating it. Oh, damn. And I'm like,

00:22:07.819 --> 00:22:10.339
I guess I guess you starve because you're fucking

00:22:10.339 --> 00:22:13.759
stupid. You like it's I don't understand like

00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:17.500
that. I can't deal with fucking ignorance. Animals

00:22:17.500 --> 00:22:20.819
included. Yeah. That's why Chinese people don't

00:22:20.819 --> 00:22:23.140
deal with it. We just fucking, you know, stir

00:22:23.140 --> 00:22:28.299
fry. We were talking about when I was in Korea,

00:22:28.380 --> 00:22:31.960
they they had dog on the menu. We're asking people

00:22:31.960 --> 00:22:34.319
would you eat it if it's on the menu and it was

00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:36.500
that I will tell you this in Korea It's not you're

00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:37.920
not getting that street food because it was the

00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:40.299
most expensive thing on there now I didn't get

00:22:40.299 --> 00:22:42.579
it because I couldn't eat a dog. I like dogs

00:22:42.579 --> 00:22:53.039
cats would be gross Would you eat a dog would

00:22:53.039 --> 00:22:56.130
you try dog? Yeah, not eat a dog, but would you

00:22:56.130 --> 00:22:57.650
try a dog? Nah, man. It's like it's already prepared

00:22:57.650 --> 00:23:01.109
for you. It's on rice pilaf. Nah, I keep thinking

00:23:01.109 --> 00:23:04.049
about my dogs, you know. That's what I was thinking.

00:23:04.049 --> 00:23:07.970
I start thinking about Max. Yeah. Marley, Daisy,

00:23:08.049 --> 00:23:09.529
all those dogs, man. Tinkerbell. Nah, the dogs

00:23:09.529 --> 00:23:12.170
they're cooking aren't pet dogs. No, they grow

00:23:12.170 --> 00:23:15.569
them to cook. Nah, jeez. That's even worse. That

00:23:15.569 --> 00:23:16.930
is terrible. And then they boil them alive so

00:23:16.930 --> 00:23:19.289
they can get the skin. It's like a crab. Yeah.

00:23:19.910 --> 00:23:21.289
Crabs, you know how you can't cook them when

00:23:21.289 --> 00:23:24.549
they're dead? I can't eat that, man. knowing

00:23:24.549 --> 00:23:27.670
that Goofy suffered, you know what I mean? You're

00:23:27.670 --> 00:23:30.109
like, man, I'm eating a dog. Gorsh. Could you?

00:23:30.289 --> 00:23:38.390
Gorsh, exactly. If... I would want to try it

00:23:38.390 --> 00:23:42.309
just to try it, but I feel like I don't think

00:23:42.309 --> 00:23:44.049
you can tell people that and then look at you

00:23:44.049 --> 00:23:47.829
the same way. Like, I ate dog. Yeah. Like, so...

00:23:47.869 --> 00:23:50.289
Especially white women. Yeah, it's kind of like

00:23:50.289 --> 00:23:53.869
that where I just just to avoid future confrontation

00:23:53.869 --> 00:23:57.509
I probably wouldn't cuz I don't need to and I

00:23:57.509 --> 00:23:59.450
love it's not it's not like a morale thing for

00:23:59.450 --> 00:24:01.970
you No, cuz it's already it's already butchered.

00:24:01.970 --> 00:24:04.930
It's already literally already there on the grill

00:24:04.930 --> 00:24:09.690
So I'm not like saving anything by not I'm not

00:24:09.690 --> 00:24:11.970
changing anything true It is already dead like

00:24:11.970 --> 00:24:13.569
that's how I think about cows and chickens, you

00:24:13.569 --> 00:24:16.089
know, I mean, I'm like I'm like damn man He killed

00:24:16.089 --> 00:24:18.000
a lot of these things, but I didn't kill it The

00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:20.460
cows have the same like emotional capacity of

00:24:20.460 --> 00:24:22.519
a dog. Oh, yeah, people got pets like you can

00:24:22.519 --> 00:24:24.200
rub them. Pigs are smart as shit too. Yeah, well

00:24:24.200 --> 00:24:27.759
pigs. I hear because I heard somebody told me

00:24:27.759 --> 00:24:30.019
they're like what they call the bottom feeders

00:24:30.019 --> 00:24:32.319
of the earth like they're the cleanest. Yeah,

00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:34.900
but I mean it's okay because it's like if people

00:24:34.900 --> 00:24:36.599
can eat chitlins then you should be able to eat

00:24:36.599 --> 00:24:39.059
pork I feel like. Well, I mean chitlins come

00:24:39.059 --> 00:24:43.200
from pork. It's a pig intestines. Oh. You didn't

00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:45.000
know that? I don't know why I thought it was

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:48.299
chicken or something. That's crazy. Now, Chitlins

00:24:48.299 --> 00:24:51.279
is pig intestines. Oh, shit. You can eat it whatever

00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:52.660
you want to. It's just some people don't. I mean,

00:24:52.740 --> 00:24:54.940
it's meat. Yeah, you're right. I just think about

00:24:54.940 --> 00:24:56.599
that shit. Like, well, you don't clean it good.

00:24:57.059 --> 00:24:58.799
Dude, you know what I know if we're talking about

00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:01.740
people not eating pig and shit, sci -fi and them,

00:25:01.880 --> 00:25:04.039
Jonathan, not sci -fi, but Jonathan and Nicky

00:25:04.039 --> 00:25:05.799
at the Seventh Day Adventist. What are they called?

00:25:05.980 --> 00:25:08.039
Seventh Day Adventist. Seventh Day Adventist.

00:25:08.559 --> 00:25:10.700
I've never met one of these people before. And

00:25:10.700 --> 00:25:12.240
then they're like, I guess it's like a hot spot

00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.000
here because I've never met some. We were at

00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.440
a show and they were like, somebody said doing

00:25:18.099 --> 00:25:20.599
Having church on Saturdays and the group of table

00:25:20.599 --> 00:25:23.900
just clap so that they had to be at two And it's

00:25:23.900 --> 00:25:25.960
like them in the black Israelite. No, what's

00:25:25.960 --> 00:25:28.500
up? I hand a black. He's a Hebrew Pentecostal

00:25:28.500 --> 00:25:35.559
group Pentecostal Google that one. Yeah It's

00:25:35.559 --> 00:25:38.160
like a hotspot form them Saturday goers. Yes,

00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:40.980
see the Hebrew Pentecostal seems like one or

00:25:40.980 --> 00:25:44.900
two two steps away, maybe from black Israelite.

00:25:44.900 --> 00:25:47.339
Oh, yeah, there's like a light version. Mm -hmm

00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:49.619
I don't think they have. The free version. And

00:25:49.619 --> 00:25:52.119
it's all black, right? Or both of them? Probably,

00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:55.240
I'd imagine, mostly. Huh. Okay. What? I'm reading

00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:59.559
this. It says Hebrew Pentecostalism is a religious

00:25:59.559 --> 00:26:04.900
movement that merges traditional Pentecostal

00:26:04.900 --> 00:26:11.119
theology with the observation, no, observance

00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:15.400
of Jewish... Biblical practices. Adherents believe

00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:20.160
in Jesus, Yeshua. Damn, I'm sorry, y 'all. As

00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:23.720
the survivor, as the saver, while also keeping

00:26:23.720 --> 00:26:27.900
the Saturday Sabbath, celebrating biblical Jewish

00:26:27.900 --> 00:26:31.819
feast days, and adhering to kosher dietary laws.

00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:39.630
So they're like Jews, but not. Oh. They believe

00:26:39.630 --> 00:26:43.450
Jesus is the savior. They believe in a lot of

00:26:43.450 --> 00:26:45.329
Christianship, but they observe a lot of Jewish

00:26:45.329 --> 00:26:47.849
feasts and holidays and traditions. I guess that

00:26:47.849 --> 00:26:49.650
makes sense because like... I would, dude, if

00:26:49.650 --> 00:26:51.490
I could observe Jewish traditions, I fucking

00:26:51.490 --> 00:26:54.349
would. Fuck, no, I ain't eating. I'm not eating.

00:26:54.650 --> 00:26:56.670
I'm eating pork and I'm eating shrimp. Oh yeah,

00:26:56.829 --> 00:26:58.869
I'm still gonna eat pork. I know they say like

00:26:58.869 --> 00:27:00.930
you're the same type of Jewish if you convert.

00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:04.019
or if you're born into it, but I just, I just

00:27:04.019 --> 00:27:06.359
feel like I'd be lesser if I converted because.

00:27:06.500 --> 00:27:09.119
Oh yeah, you don't want to convert to that. I'm

00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:11.259
already circumcised. Yeah, me too. I wouldn't

00:27:11.259 --> 00:27:12.240
need to do that. I think I am too, I believe

00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:14.700
so. That's the biggest, that's the biggest hump.

00:27:16.180 --> 00:27:18.019
You still haven't found out if you're circumcised

00:27:18.019 --> 00:27:21.299
yet, man? I'm like 90 % sure. 90 % sure you?

00:27:21.559 --> 00:27:26.819
Am circumcised. Cause I'm like, yeah, I think

00:27:26.819 --> 00:27:29.700
I am. Does he have a hat? I mean, I know we've

00:27:29.700 --> 00:27:32.400
talked this to death. He doesn't understand what

00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:35.859
that means. Does he look like he has a sock on

00:27:35.859 --> 00:27:39.839
him? Like on a skin sock? Nah, I don't. I don't.

00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:43.440
I love how it... I don't think so. I mean...

00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:45.220
You gotta pull something back. No, does he look

00:27:45.220 --> 00:27:47.339
like he has a bugle on his head? So there was

00:27:47.339 --> 00:27:52.299
a time when it got cold, right? And it's like...

00:27:52.299 --> 00:27:54.559
It had to be middle... Yeah, it would go in there

00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:57.440
and it would close. Yeah, but I'm saying like

00:27:57.440 --> 00:28:01.019
regular. Okay, that's... Oh, regularly? No, no.

00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:03.240
He didn't describe. Yeah, and then I would be

00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:05.940
playing basketball. Like a Sarlacc pit, like

00:28:05.940 --> 00:28:07.599
in Star Wars. Yeah, that's probably why I failed.

00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:09.279
You said it closed? Yeah, that's probably why

00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:11.700
I failed trying out. And the hair pulled? Yeah.

00:28:11.700 --> 00:28:13.079
Is that what you were saying? It hurt. Yeah,

00:28:13.079 --> 00:28:16.359
that's why I probably failed basketball. Because

00:28:16.359 --> 00:28:18.259
I was trying out and when I tried to do the layup,

00:28:18.380 --> 00:28:20.039
because of how I would pull in there, I would

00:28:20.039 --> 00:28:21.819
jump. And man, that was the worst pain ever because

00:28:21.819 --> 00:28:28.079
it pulled me right back down. That hurt. You

00:28:28.079 --> 00:28:30.359
need to say that on stage. I know, I need to.

00:28:30.359 --> 00:28:34.660
Dude, the closing of the... And you need to talk

00:28:34.660 --> 00:28:39.119
to people as if they relate to you. I found out

00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:41.119
a new discovery. Because they do, they just don't

00:28:41.119 --> 00:28:44.700
know what the... That's just a crazy way to describe

00:28:44.700 --> 00:28:47.019
it. I am circumcised then because you said when

00:28:47.019 --> 00:28:48.980
it's normal, like when it's out there. When it's

00:28:48.980 --> 00:28:51.339
out there, yeah, there's no hood. You don't have

00:28:51.339 --> 00:28:53.380
to pull nothing back. Hell no, it's ready to

00:28:53.380 --> 00:28:56.130
go. It's ready to go. We got to the end. Yes,

00:28:56.210 --> 00:28:58.670
look at that, I'm circumcised. Now we just need

00:28:58.670 --> 00:29:02.670
to get Pat and figure him out. He might be circumcised,

00:29:02.690 --> 00:29:10.069
but then it just undid itself. Damn. You leave

00:29:10.069 --> 00:29:14.970
Patrick alone. Shout out, Pat. Hell yeah, Pat.

00:29:15.089 --> 00:29:18.390
Dude, back to the scene. Even though the scene's

00:29:18.390 --> 00:29:20.730
in a dire place, our boys have gotten funny as

00:29:20.730 --> 00:29:23.029
shit. Like some of these comedians have really

00:29:23.029 --> 00:29:26.490
fucking... Yeah, we got we got Mitch seeing him

00:29:26.490 --> 00:29:28.490
in sketches probably some some little shorts

00:29:28.490 --> 00:29:30.430
promos. Oh, yeah, they wouldn't know miss that

00:29:30.430 --> 00:29:32.150
much Yeah, no that we didn't put those sketches.

00:29:32.410 --> 00:29:33.970
Oh, yeah, we got we got the one where he's in

00:29:33.970 --> 00:29:36.910
your in your crawlspace though Oh, yeah murder.

00:29:36.910 --> 00:29:41.819
Oh, yeah Yeah Yeah, Mitch is... He's my favorite.

00:29:42.759 --> 00:29:47.559
I love Mitch. Yeah, I got him working at my job

00:29:47.559 --> 00:29:51.039
with me at Bass Pro. It's like so crazy. Welcome

00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:53.859
to Bass Pro. Isn't Mitch like a chemical engineer

00:29:53.859 --> 00:29:56.259
or some shit? He's a computer scientist. That's

00:29:56.259 --> 00:29:59.059
real deal. That's fucking AI. Oh, AI. It's taking

00:29:59.059 --> 00:30:01.589
over. Let's take it. This could be AI right now.

00:30:01.609 --> 00:30:03.789
Who would know? True. I might not be real. Mm

00:30:03.789 --> 00:30:07.170
-hmm. Dude, we have hundreds of hours of us video,

00:30:07.170 --> 00:30:10.450
like, online. AI has for sure been trained on

00:30:10.450 --> 00:30:13.589
us. Oh, yeah. To some degree. Oh, that'd be so

00:30:13.589 --> 00:30:16.089
tight. I wonder if we can just give it all the

00:30:16.089 --> 00:30:18.289
stuff that we got. So if we got a computer, I

00:30:18.289 --> 00:30:20.349
would be able to do that. Like a big enough computer?

00:30:20.990 --> 00:30:23.869
Yeah, like a gaming computer. And then we ask

00:30:23.869 --> 00:30:25.930
the questions, and we'll see if we would really

00:30:25.930 --> 00:30:27.890
say that. Come up with a Clown College episode

00:30:27.890 --> 00:30:31.380
based on it, yeah. Mm -hmm. Then we could just

00:30:31.380 --> 00:30:34.660
kick back and watch this wrestling. That'd be

00:30:34.660 --> 00:30:36.740
dope. No, that'd be the worst. No, it'd be awful.

00:30:36.900 --> 00:30:39.680
It'd be funny to see how crazy and absurd it

00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:42.039
is. But then it would start to feel like gross.

00:30:42.259 --> 00:30:45.779
Oh, yeah. Oh, God. I wouldn't say that. And they

00:30:45.779 --> 00:30:47.460
just were wanting to a part where I really said.

00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:50.940
I didn't mean it. They cite it. They cite it.

00:30:50.940 --> 00:30:56.339
They show you exactly why they decided. We just

00:30:56.339 --> 00:31:00.680
feel like Dom is an evil person I think it was

00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:02.480
crazy is because like clearly I'm joking about

00:31:02.480 --> 00:31:05.059
the juice shit in the previous episodes We're

00:31:05.059 --> 00:31:07.000
taking a turn here. Actually, we're not supposed

00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:08.759
to see because the thing is we're not it's so

00:31:08.759 --> 00:31:10.619
confusing We're not supposed to like the Jews

00:31:10.619 --> 00:31:13.900
now, so I like yes No, literally like you all

00:31:13.900 --> 00:31:17.220
have made such a fuss about the Jews. I think

00:31:17.220 --> 00:31:19.839
they might be the chosen people. Yeah Like y

00:31:19.839 --> 00:31:21.839
'all are targeting them like insane. Like now

00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:24.500
it's the left targeting them, too. No, there's

00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:26.420
something going on. They're magic. I think Jews

00:31:26.420 --> 00:31:28.859
are straight up actually good. I love that. Actually,

00:31:28.900 --> 00:31:30.960
the only thing that the left and the right agree

00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:35.319
about is it's insane. Like it's like that arm

00:31:35.319 --> 00:31:37.779
the meme of the two arms of the white and black

00:31:37.779 --> 00:31:41.460
arm except it's like Nazis and fucking furries

00:31:41.460 --> 00:31:48.559
Eating Jews is what we agree on That's just who

00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:51.980
I was saying is like super left not necessarily

00:31:51.980 --> 00:31:57.839
But it's it's wild man. It's so fucking crazy

00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:00.819
that that's what they came together on of all

00:32:00.819 --> 00:32:03.119
the things like we couldn't like universal basic

00:32:03.119 --> 00:32:07.240
income like fucking healthcare like we all get

00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:09.519
sick nazis get sick too no the healthcare thing

00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:11.539
i think i mean that's just that's just makes

00:32:11.539 --> 00:32:13.980
sense you still can have your own private business

00:32:13.980 --> 00:32:16.819
and you know if you get the most special i don't

00:32:16.819 --> 00:32:18.680
give give a fuck about the most special care

00:32:18.680 --> 00:32:20.940
but you should be able to get some type of care

00:32:20.940 --> 00:32:23.859
so that's that's the actual thing that like americans

00:32:23.859 --> 00:32:27.640
want the best the best of the best and like we

00:32:27.640 --> 00:32:31.089
can't have like both everyone is able to get

00:32:31.089 --> 00:32:34.390
it and it's the best. It has to be like, everyone's

00:32:34.390 --> 00:32:36.309
able to get it and it's not the best. Everybody

00:32:36.309 --> 00:32:38.890
should be able to get it and then whoever has,

00:32:39.769 --> 00:32:41.369
you know, if you got money, you get more shit.

00:32:41.630 --> 00:32:44.250
Yeah, that's just how it is. So whoever has the

00:32:44.250 --> 00:32:46.009
best insurance and all that, you still can get

00:32:46.009 --> 00:32:48.450
a better doctor, you know, a better, you know,

00:32:48.509 --> 00:32:50.890
a more expensive doctor if you want to. You don't

00:32:50.890 --> 00:32:53.430
have to use the universal health care shit. But

00:32:53.430 --> 00:32:55.410
for everybody else who don't have that, we get

00:32:55.410 --> 00:32:57.329
the public servants, but we still for sure get

00:32:57.329 --> 00:33:00.240
to go to them. Yeah, exactly. That's how it should

00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:03.519
be. You might get an IV stuck in wrong, blood

00:33:03.519 --> 00:33:06.099
squirting everywhere. It happens. Brandon, you

00:33:06.099 --> 00:33:07.900
about to be a nerd. Yeah, you remember I was

00:33:07.900 --> 00:33:11.099
over there bending IVs and stuff? Doing what?

00:33:11.339 --> 00:33:13.299
Oh, when you were training. Yeah, you got to

00:33:13.299 --> 00:33:15.700
get them out there. If you had the stick V, I

00:33:15.700 --> 00:33:18.180
would be shaky. That shit doesn't bother me at

00:33:18.180 --> 00:33:20.359
all. You could take my blood all day. It doesn't

00:33:20.359 --> 00:33:22.619
bother me. But if you were doing it without even

00:33:22.619 --> 00:33:25.839
doing it, I would just sit still. Nervous as

00:33:25.839 --> 00:33:27.680
fuck right now. That's what people would do like

00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:30.140
that one, dude I remember my first clinical I

00:33:30.140 --> 00:33:32.720
walk in there and you know me I get hot Yeah,

00:33:32.779 --> 00:33:35.299
so I'm gonna sweat and it's like I forgot this

00:33:35.299 --> 00:33:38.259
patient must have had like something bad It was

00:33:38.259 --> 00:33:40.579
something like really bad like I don't know that

00:33:40.579 --> 00:33:42.619
well, hopefully they're alright But I remember

00:33:42.619 --> 00:33:44.359
he's just sitting there and he keep looking at

00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:47.099
me. He's like, hey man You alright? And I'm like,

00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:49.019
yeah, I'm good. He's like man, you over here

00:33:49.019 --> 00:33:51.599
sweating and shit. I'm like dude It's my my first

00:33:51.599 --> 00:33:54.190
day. I'm just it's hot I don't know if he believed

00:33:54.190 --> 00:33:55.970
me. I hope he did. What else did you say, Brad?

00:33:56.289 --> 00:34:00.130
Oh, damn. What else did I say? He said, it's

00:34:00.130 --> 00:34:01.890
my first day. It's hot. I'm just trying to have

00:34:01.890 --> 00:34:05.130
a good time. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, I mean, dude,

00:34:05.230 --> 00:34:07.950
the hell yeah. This man's wife is dying. He said

00:34:07.950 --> 00:34:09.909
it's hot. Because I'm like, you should be happy

00:34:09.909 --> 00:34:11.409
about that. I'm just trying to have a good time.

00:34:11.409 --> 00:34:12.590
I'm just trying to have a good time. That's what

00:34:12.590 --> 00:34:14.869
you said? Yeah, because I'm like, I'm trying

00:34:14.869 --> 00:34:17.610
to make him feel safe. He said, I'm just trying

00:34:17.610 --> 00:34:19.710
to have a good time. This man's wife is dying

00:34:19.710 --> 00:34:21.590
in the hospital. He's supposed to be helping.

00:34:21.670 --> 00:34:25.570
I want to make him feel safe. Because if you're

00:34:25.570 --> 00:34:27.349
having a good time doing your job, I mean, you

00:34:27.349 --> 00:34:29.230
love what you're doing. And honestly, I mean,

00:34:29.289 --> 00:34:30.829
I wasn't doing much. I was just holding and getting

00:34:30.829 --> 00:34:33.250
the food and watching and just hoping for the

00:34:33.250 --> 00:34:36.849
best for them. Holding what? Oh, just equipment.

00:34:37.090 --> 00:34:38.730
Like if somebody was like, I remember some patient

00:34:38.730 --> 00:34:40.230
would be like, I need this. She was like, hey,

00:34:40.329 --> 00:34:42.289
can I get food and stuff? And sometimes I go

00:34:42.289 --> 00:34:45.199
get the food. And I remember I came back in there

00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:46.840
and sometimes they would do stuff like this dude

00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:49.280
I remember they stopped his heart and then and

00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:50.820
he was like there for a second They're like they

00:34:50.820 --> 00:34:52.480
looked at me and they're like, what do you want

00:34:52.480 --> 00:34:53.880
to press the button and bring them back? And

00:34:53.880 --> 00:34:55.659
I was like hell yeah, I pressed the button and

00:34:55.659 --> 00:34:57.619
we shot him he came back up Tell us the hospital

00:34:57.619 --> 00:35:01.079
cuz I never want to go there You know, you don't

00:35:01.079 --> 00:35:03.440
have time to be asking questions if you what

00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:06.639
I know I know What if you press the wrong? I

00:35:06.639 --> 00:35:09.460
know what if I did because I'm you know me and

00:35:09.460 --> 00:35:13.469
I struggle with that so I could have killed somebody.

00:35:13.590 --> 00:35:15.750
Oh fuck, somebody was dead. Brandon brought him

00:35:15.750 --> 00:35:18.349
back to life. I did. I sure did. You like to

00:35:18.349 --> 00:35:20.170
do it in the green mile. I know. I tapped that

00:35:20.170 --> 00:35:23.070
button. Thankfully it was the right button. That

00:35:23.070 --> 00:35:25.349
could have went very bad. Because I had to take

00:35:25.349 --> 00:35:26.349
notes. It could have been the soul sucker button,

00:35:27.050 --> 00:35:28.829
the life sucking button instead of the giving.

00:35:29.050 --> 00:35:30.670
And then I'm documenting all that. I'm just taking

00:35:30.670 --> 00:35:32.230
notes. I'm like, man, so this health is like

00:35:32.230 --> 00:35:35.519
this and that and just... I would kill to see

00:35:35.519 --> 00:35:38.239
these notes. I would too, I forgot where they

00:35:38.239 --> 00:35:43.280
are. And that's dangerous till somebody finds

00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:46.559
it. They don't know how to kill someone if they

00:35:46.559 --> 00:35:48.619
reverse engineer your notes. But dude, they were

00:35:48.619 --> 00:35:50.920
bad. I remember one of my friends, he was on

00:35:50.920 --> 00:35:53.119
that clinical thing and the dude, it was like

00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:54.460
the Super Bowl or something. And while they were

00:35:54.460 --> 00:35:55.840
driving, he said, you know what? And he stopped

00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:57.679
at his friend's house and they started drinking

00:35:57.679 --> 00:35:59.039
beer and he was trying to give him a beer. He's

00:35:59.039 --> 00:36:00.599
like, you want a beer? He's like, no, man, I'm

00:36:00.599 --> 00:36:02.960
trying to do this clinical. Then they just got

00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:07.929
back to work. Damn shame. Damn brother. Glad

00:36:07.929 --> 00:36:10.469
you came to the assistance and don't want to

00:36:10.469 --> 00:36:12.090
do anything where people's lives are at. I know

00:36:12.090 --> 00:36:14.030
because the dude that I was driving with, he

00:36:14.030 --> 00:36:15.150
was like, why you want to do it? And I was like,

00:36:15.210 --> 00:36:16.630
I want to help people. He was like, well, I just

00:36:16.630 --> 00:36:19.309
chose to be miserable. And then suddenly he pulled

00:36:19.309 --> 00:36:23.030
out a cigarette. And then he stopped and parked.

00:36:23.070 --> 00:36:24.389
And then they were like, you got somebody. We

00:36:24.389 --> 00:36:26.750
need to get to the call. And I'm like, you going

00:36:26.750 --> 00:36:28.570
to go handle that? And he's like, no, I just

00:36:28.570 --> 00:36:30.750
need a minute, bro. This is how life is every

00:36:30.750 --> 00:36:33.929
day. Not making any money. Just being miserable.

00:36:34.989 --> 00:36:37.250
That's life, Brennan. I know. That's fucking

00:36:37.250 --> 00:36:40.130
life. This is rough. Yeah, that's what real life

00:36:40.130 --> 00:36:43.949
is, buddy. I know. Yeah, he's broken. You don't

00:36:43.949 --> 00:36:47.030
say you hate your life by your 30 at least three

00:36:47.030 --> 00:36:49.250
times, like, and you really mean it. You ain't

00:36:49.250 --> 00:36:54.780
lived. Yeah, he was 30 also. I gotta like reel

00:36:54.780 --> 00:36:57.739
it in. I say it too much. I need to like, you

00:36:57.739 --> 00:36:59.960
know how you say shit and then you act like it

00:36:59.960 --> 00:37:03.159
actually starts affecting. I need to reel it

00:37:03.159 --> 00:37:07.000
in. Cause it works with the opposite. If you

00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:08.920
just say positive shit. I hate it. It's stupid.

00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:11.099
And you don't want to do it when you're like

00:37:11.099 --> 00:37:13.480
down. But like being positive, just straight

00:37:13.480 --> 00:37:17.639
up being positive does. Here's a secret code

00:37:17.639 --> 00:37:20.300
to that. You just you don't you don't have to

00:37:20.300 --> 00:37:22.400
be positive. You just have to like get revenge.

00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:25.099
So you just make stuff up. And then you're like,

00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:26.659
you're like, I'm going to do this because I'm

00:37:26.659 --> 00:37:28.599
going to show this motherfucker. Hell, yeah.

00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:31.159
I'm going to show this son of a bitch right here.

00:37:31.500 --> 00:37:33.300
So you're not being positive, but you're also

00:37:33.300 --> 00:37:35.780
being, you know, you're going towards your goal.

00:37:36.659 --> 00:37:39.860
Honestly, they changed my life. That's motivation.

00:37:39.920 --> 00:37:41.860
Yeah. That is motivated by somebody you fucking

00:37:41.860 --> 00:37:44.699
hate. I got a couple. Find some people from back

00:37:44.699 --> 00:37:48.070
in the day. Yeah, it could be people you see

00:37:48.070 --> 00:37:50.469
all the time. Oh, it's a whole class. It's a

00:37:50.469 --> 00:37:55.250
whole class. Oh yeah, in school, in school. Oh,

00:37:55.269 --> 00:37:56.710
you talking about when they beat you up, put

00:37:56.710 --> 00:37:59.909
you in a sensory deprivation. Wait, what? Sensory

00:37:59.909 --> 00:38:03.250
room. Oh, no. You talking about psych ward stuff?

00:38:03.429 --> 00:38:05.570
No, no. I think he's thinking about the time

00:38:05.570 --> 00:38:07.550
where you were in the band, the Sound Proof.

00:38:07.550 --> 00:38:09.369
Oh, yeah, when I had the triangle and I kept

00:38:09.369 --> 00:38:11.449
playing. So I used to play a bunch of instruments.

00:38:13.719 --> 00:38:16.940
I played the drums. They tried me with the snare.

00:38:17.079 --> 00:38:18.980
They're like, man, this dude's not, nah, he's

00:38:18.980 --> 00:38:21.840
not doing snare. Then I wanted, the one I wanted

00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:23.639
to do the most, the quads, which now I could

00:38:23.639 --> 00:38:25.119
probably do that. And they're like, nah, you

00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:27.980
can't do that. You can't do that. They gave me

00:38:27.980 --> 00:38:30.500
the bass drum. They let me do that for a while.

00:38:30.679 --> 00:38:32.079
Then at one moment, they're like, I don't know,

00:38:32.219 --> 00:38:34.420
man. And then they had me do these like. Big

00:38:34.420 --> 00:38:36.340
ass drum where you do bong bong bong. I forgot

00:38:36.340 --> 00:38:38.199
what those things were called. Bogo's? Bongo's?

00:38:38.199 --> 00:38:41.019
I don't know. But it was like I had a cotton

00:38:41.019 --> 00:38:44.039
stick that I would have to like that. Timpani?

00:38:44.559 --> 00:38:49.860
Yeah. And then I'm sorry, I don't know. I don't

00:38:49.860 --> 00:38:52.119
know actually. But then they end up having me

00:38:52.119 --> 00:38:55.579
play the triangle and the tambourine. And I used

00:38:55.579 --> 00:38:56.920
to do that, and everybody in the class, they

00:38:56.920 --> 00:38:58.519
would just keep getting on my ass, being like,

00:38:58.519 --> 00:39:00.719
man, look at you at the triangle, man. Ring,

00:39:00.719 --> 00:39:03.280
ring. And one day I just snapped in the middle

00:39:03.280 --> 00:39:06.480
of, like, we were playing a song, and in the

00:39:06.480 --> 00:39:07.659
middle of the song, I was like, I can't take

00:39:07.659 --> 00:39:10.599
this no more. Damn! I just threw the triangle

00:39:10.599 --> 00:39:13.099
on the floor in the tambourine, and then I ran

00:39:13.099 --> 00:39:16.099
in the sensory room, and then I locked it, and

00:39:16.099 --> 00:39:18.059
everybody was like, damn, man, hey, come on out,

00:39:18.139 --> 00:39:20.679
you all right? And then the whole class lined

00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:22.300
up in the lunchroom and just patted me on the

00:39:22.300 --> 00:39:26.730
back and was like, it's gonna be all right. And

00:39:26.730 --> 00:39:29.909
they they're not who you hate no not them, okay,

00:39:30.030 --> 00:39:34.199
not them man it was Art class art class because

00:39:34.199 --> 00:39:36.760
I so I got in there right it was it was a magnet

00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:39.940
program we had apply and I applied Nate like

00:39:39.940 --> 00:39:41.920
I showed him my artwork and they accepted me

00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:43.500
and everybody in the class kept saying I was

00:39:43.500 --> 00:39:45.260
the lottery pick because they had one lottery

00:39:45.260 --> 00:39:47.340
pick where they pick one person just because

00:39:47.340 --> 00:39:49.320
you know they got to get some people in there

00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:51.139
and everybody just kept getting onto my art being

00:39:51.139 --> 00:39:53.460
like oh look at you you'd lottery pick and then

00:39:53.460 --> 00:39:55.219
they said what you want to do one day I was like

00:39:55.219 --> 00:39:56.780
oh I'd like to do some comedy because you know

00:39:56.780 --> 00:39:58.960
I didn't talk And they were like, oh, but you

00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:00.960
never talk say something say a joke and I just

00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:03.260
looked around everybody They looked at me and

00:40:03.260 --> 00:40:04.880
then one dude like see he can't do that shit

00:40:04.880 --> 00:40:06.639
and even the teacher was just looking back They're

00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:09.820
like nodding his head In the whole class and

00:40:09.820 --> 00:40:11.260
then one lady was like, yeah, you should do real

00:40:11.260 --> 00:40:14.800
estate and shit. So yeah them Yeah, fuck and

00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:17.000
then everybody that called me special. Yeah in

00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:21.440
that class when I asked them Because I remember

00:40:21.440 --> 00:40:24.780
I was in a meeting with my mom she was arguing

00:40:24.780 --> 00:40:27.539
with my special ed teacher because They were

00:40:27.539 --> 00:40:31.820
saying that I was autistic. And she didn't like

00:40:31.820 --> 00:40:35.500
that. And she was like, my son not autistic.

00:40:35.579 --> 00:40:37.460
And he was like, yes, he is. But that's OK, because

00:40:37.460 --> 00:40:39.480
you ever seen a good doctor? He makes it. So

00:40:39.480 --> 00:40:42.619
maybe your son can make it. And I ran out. They

00:40:42.619 --> 00:40:46.639
compared you. I'm going to fucking die. I remember

00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:48.760
I ran out and ran to the class. I was like, everybody,

00:40:48.760 --> 00:40:51.119
he just said that they think I'm special to y

00:40:51.119 --> 00:40:52.980
'all. And everybody's like, hell yeah. Like,

00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:55.019
shit, what? You didn't know, like you'd always

00:40:55.019 --> 00:40:56.840
be sitting back there rocking and staring out

00:40:56.840 --> 00:40:58.820
the window. And then one dude stood up and was

00:40:58.820 --> 00:41:00.300
like, yeah, you'd always be talking to yourself.

00:41:00.340 --> 00:41:01.840
And I was like talking to myself. Nigga, I was

00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:06.440
talking to you the whole time. And then he was

00:41:06.440 --> 00:41:12.460
like, oh, I was just, I didn't know. So my theory

00:41:12.460 --> 00:41:16.699
with Brandon is that he isn't the special needs.

00:41:17.260 --> 00:41:21.369
He isn't special ed. but that every time like

00:41:21.369 --> 00:41:23.429
the teachers or students every time they looked

00:41:23.429 --> 00:41:26.150
over he was just doing some special ed looking

00:41:26.150 --> 00:41:28.289
shit like you know you were probably rocking

00:41:28.289 --> 00:41:30.090
for good reason like or something like i don't

00:41:30.090 --> 00:41:32.530
know something the chair was wobbly but like

00:41:32.530 --> 00:41:35.070
they just look over and it just looks like you're

00:41:35.070 --> 00:41:37.519
crazy you know what i mean And like the talking,

00:41:37.659 --> 00:41:39.760
he didn't know you were talking to him, so he

00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:41.880
thinks you're talking to yourself. I think just

00:41:41.880 --> 00:41:44.420
everybody just paid attention at the wrong time.

00:41:45.460 --> 00:41:47.300
Just a little bit of lack of oxygen when you

00:41:47.300 --> 00:41:49.940
was born. Just a little bit of that. Other than

00:41:49.940 --> 00:41:51.880
that. I did almost die. I was yellow, they say.

00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:54.519
Like I had something. Jaundice. Jaundice, I had

00:41:54.519 --> 00:41:58.360
jaundice. Is jaundice when you get choked? No,

00:41:58.420 --> 00:42:00.820
jaundice is something to do. I think it's a...

00:42:01.739 --> 00:42:03.760
nutritional lack with babies is I think it's

00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:05.199
like a lack of nutrition or something with the

00:42:05.199 --> 00:42:07.280
liver. I think I don't know what it is. I don't

00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:09.579
know what it is exactly. But you do have lack

00:42:09.579 --> 00:42:12.059
of oxygen, right? Oh, I have to ask. I got to

00:42:12.059 --> 00:42:13.840
check. Probably though. I would check on that.

00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:16.400
Like usually people your shaped head. Yeah. They

00:42:16.400 --> 00:42:19.539
usually have. They usually have had a lack of

00:42:19.539 --> 00:42:22.679
oxygen. I did have seasonal asthma. Yeah. Seasonal

00:42:22.679 --> 00:42:35.090
asthma? Yo, but I just thought about it. I hate

00:42:35.090 --> 00:42:36.909
to say that rocking thing was a real problem

00:42:36.909 --> 00:42:41.030
though. My mom used to get mad at me and started

00:42:41.030 --> 00:42:42.449
like, she'd be like, hey man, stop doing it.

00:42:42.469 --> 00:42:44.150
Cause I'd be like rocking. Cause it's like, I

00:42:44.150 --> 00:42:45.809
don't know. It was just something that I felt

00:42:45.809 --> 00:42:49.489
comfortable doing. It was your, your stemming.

00:42:49.489 --> 00:42:51.090
Yeah, because I would just be like, yeah, what's

00:42:51.090 --> 00:42:52.829
up, y 'all? And just be doing that. And then

00:42:52.829 --> 00:42:54.690
sometimes I would make like, my mom used to get

00:42:54.690 --> 00:42:57.110
me like, I don't know why I did it. And probably

00:42:57.110 --> 00:42:59.250
second, third, I make some weird noises too.

00:42:59.690 --> 00:43:03.070
Like what kind? I'd be like, like, like do stuff

00:43:03.070 --> 00:43:06.630
like that. But like that, just to do it. I don't

00:43:06.630 --> 00:43:09.070
know why. And then she would like, stop doing

00:43:09.070 --> 00:43:10.550
that. I'd be like, no, that's just like me trying

00:43:10.550 --> 00:43:23.570
to breathe. She used to get mad as hell well

00:43:23.570 --> 00:43:26.909
though she was scared you were gonna die Sometimes

00:43:26.909 --> 00:43:30.090
I would click to like like that type of stuff

00:43:36.119 --> 00:43:38.360
But I found out I didn't need it, because as

00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:40.260
soon as they took special ed from me in college,

00:43:40.400 --> 00:43:43.539
that's when I failed. Yeah. Yeah. But you weren't

00:43:43.539 --> 00:43:45.300
special needs, you were special ed. Yeah, special

00:43:45.300 --> 00:43:48.079
ed. Well, what is that called? Because you're

00:43:48.079 --> 00:43:49.960
not special ed. That's just what you were in.

00:43:51.340 --> 00:43:53.440
So what would be your title? Just a man with

00:43:53.440 --> 00:43:55.539
learning disabilities. Because that's what they

00:43:55.539 --> 00:43:57.440
told me. They're like, yeah, you got a bad learning

00:43:57.440 --> 00:44:00.679
disability. But do you have a heart? I mean,

00:44:01.079 --> 00:44:03.300
you can read. You learn. You learn. You just

00:44:03.300 --> 00:44:05.099
need somebody to tell you exactly what to do.

00:44:05.239 --> 00:44:07.619
Yeah, like I need to see it and exactly how it

00:44:07.619 --> 00:44:09.980
goes. I mean, even me, though. Hands on. Even

00:44:09.980 --> 00:44:12.639
me, though, like I look, I read if I just read

00:44:12.639 --> 00:44:15.320
instructions, it doesn't really. Like that's

00:44:15.320 --> 00:44:18.099
why AI doesn't really help me, like because I

00:44:18.099 --> 00:44:19.800
kind of need to watch a video of someone doing

00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:23.079
it to like kind of get the whole, so I don't,

00:44:23.179 --> 00:44:24.940
I mean, nah, Brandon you're normal. Thank you,

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:26.019
I appreciate that. Don't let anyone tell you.

00:44:26.019 --> 00:44:27.599
Thank you, thank you, that's all I've been trying

00:44:27.599 --> 00:44:29.360
to say. That's all I've been trying to say. You

00:44:29.360 --> 00:44:31.059
were right, that whole time your mom was right

00:44:31.059 --> 00:44:34.699
too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, arguing with

00:44:34.699 --> 00:44:36.559
them. She was, arguing with them, therapists,

00:44:36.739 --> 00:44:40.559
everybody. Brandon, speaking of your mom, you

00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:44.699
found out recently... That she didn't have a

00:44:44.699 --> 00:44:48.179
dad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah found out my like wedding

00:44:48.179 --> 00:44:51.159
day That was cool because I remember like she

00:44:51.159 --> 00:44:53.179
she pulled up and they were like we need it We

00:44:53.179 --> 00:44:55.239
need your birth certificate something to see

00:44:55.239 --> 00:44:57.340
your dad and I was like, you know, so what about

00:44:57.340 --> 00:44:59.539
me? And then I remember my mom somebody like

00:44:59.539 --> 00:45:01.059
yeah, you don't need that and I was like why

00:45:01.059 --> 00:45:02.920
and then she showed me that I legally don't have

00:45:02.920 --> 00:45:05.760
a dad and Then she's only reason because he was

00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:07.980
like he's so back in the day He was a cop and

00:45:07.980 --> 00:45:11.440
I became a under like detective in Detroit And

00:45:11.440 --> 00:45:12.940
when I was born, she said he had to go on a secret

00:45:12.940 --> 00:45:14.860
mission to California to take care of some, you

00:45:14.860 --> 00:45:17.519
know, crooked cops. And I've been, like, I've

00:45:17.519 --> 00:45:19.940
been telling people, like, I told Dom and Alex,

00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:22.300
and, you know, Dom quickly corrected me and told

00:45:22.300 --> 00:45:25.860
me that. And I'm wrong. He was like, that's the

00:45:25.860 --> 00:45:29.360
plot of Beverly Hills Cop. It's literally the

00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:32.139
plot. And I've watched that so many times. Like,

00:45:32.159 --> 00:45:33.800
that was one of my favorite movies. I wanted

00:45:33.800 --> 00:45:37.650
to jack it. I wonder why. I love Detroit. When

00:45:37.650 --> 00:45:39.829
you told us that we were we were in there will

00:45:39.829 --> 00:45:43.679
we just shoot we shot something I think the Christmas

00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:47.260
thing. Yeah. So we're shooting this this skit.

00:45:47.420 --> 00:45:49.400
And then afterwards, Brandon tells us that. And

00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:52.119
at first, I was like, well, clear, because clearly

00:45:52.119 --> 00:45:54.079
she was lying. You know what I'm saying? Because

00:45:54.079 --> 00:45:55.400
that's because that's something you tell a kid.

00:45:55.519 --> 00:45:57.179
So when he told us, I thought he was a child

00:45:57.179 --> 00:45:58.880
when she told him. But really, it was like two

00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:03.340
weeks ago. How does wedding day was 19, 20 years

00:46:03.340 --> 00:46:06.400
old? I was 22. Actually, 21 about to turn. Yes.

00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:08.840
So that was like literally like a year ago. Yeah,

00:46:09.179 --> 00:46:10.739
that was recent. That's something you tell a

00:46:10.739 --> 00:46:13.380
child. You know, your dad was Santa Claus or

00:46:13.380 --> 00:46:15.360
some shit. That's why he couldn't be here But

00:46:15.360 --> 00:46:18.039
then I was at work and I was just smoking a cigarette

00:46:18.039 --> 00:46:21.039
and I was like, oh my god. I got the text review

00:46:21.039 --> 00:46:23.840
Yeah, I was like I'm fucking tripping right now

00:46:23.840 --> 00:46:25.559
cuz that's the goddamn plot of Beverly Hills

00:46:25.559 --> 00:46:29.000
cop. There's no Detroit cop doesn't have any

00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:33.420
jurisdiction detective either in and in California,

00:46:33.420 --> 00:46:41.260
you know what I mean? So like I mean, well, maybe

00:46:41.260 --> 00:46:43.800
he was a federal Federal agent that would be

00:46:43.800 --> 00:46:45.880
that would be different. But wait, also, this

00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:48.780
is the guy in the picture. Yes He was not we'll

00:46:48.780 --> 00:46:50.780
show that on the pod. Please send that to me.

00:46:50.780 --> 00:46:53.940
Yes That's that guy. He was the special agent.

00:46:53.940 --> 00:46:59.760
Okay, so that's the axle Foley. Yeah It looks

00:46:59.760 --> 00:47:02.079
like I'm too a little bit special mission at

00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:04.880
the Golden Corral they just based it off him

00:47:05.150 --> 00:47:07.309
He said it looks like, it looks nothing like

00:47:07.309 --> 00:47:09.170
Eddie Murphy. Yeah, he looks more like Richard

00:47:09.170 --> 00:47:13.289
Pryor, honestly. No, he doesn't. I can't explain

00:47:13.289 --> 00:47:15.190
how much he looks like neither one of them. I

00:47:15.190 --> 00:47:16.369
can't wait till I insert the picture right here.

00:47:16.530 --> 00:47:20.230
Remember the son from Sanford and Son? Son? You

00:47:20.230 --> 00:47:23.289
look like the son from Sanford and Son, not your

00:47:23.289 --> 00:47:26.110
dad. Oh. And he doesn't look like Sanford either.

00:47:26.489 --> 00:47:28.150
Oh, yeah, no. I've never seen the son. Sanford

00:47:28.150 --> 00:47:32.269
looks more like Conor McGregor. I know it's weird.

00:47:32.489 --> 00:47:34.769
But it's like if it was if he was a different

00:47:34.769 --> 00:47:40.610
When I see Conor McGregor I think of him a little

00:47:40.610 --> 00:47:43.670
bit you're saying red Fox looks like Conor McGregor

00:47:43.670 --> 00:47:46.130
Conor McGregor looks like red Fox in the face

00:47:46.130 --> 00:47:52.070
a tab bit not serious not the body I just see

00:47:52.070 --> 00:47:53.989
like it's not the biggest feature, but I see

00:47:53.989 --> 00:47:56.340
a little bit Like, I'm like, I can see that.

00:47:56.559 --> 00:47:58.780
Brandon, this might be your worst. I know it's

00:47:58.780 --> 00:48:00.400
bad, but it's like... Well, Robert Pattinson

00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:02.300
was bad. Yeah, Robert, you said you looked like

00:48:02.300 --> 00:48:04.000
Robert Pattinson. There was another one that

00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:06.420
was really bad. I forget which one. Oh, he said...

00:48:06.420 --> 00:48:08.619
We need a list of... Oh, God. Francis Nugana

00:48:08.619 --> 00:48:11.420
looks like that dude from Nathan For You. Oh,

00:48:11.420 --> 00:48:14.039
yeah. A square -headed Indian man or something.

00:48:14.400 --> 00:48:16.000
I'm just saying, like, in a different dimension.

00:48:17.039 --> 00:48:19.239
I wonder what dimension you live in, Brandon.

00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:21.179
Oh, man. I wonder all the time. I wonder, too.

00:48:21.659 --> 00:48:25.139
Holy shit. Brandon also speaking a different

00:48:25.139 --> 00:48:28.400
dimension. Can you tell us about your first memory?

00:48:28.659 --> 00:48:32.199
Oh, yes. Oh my god Now this is where my first

00:48:32.199 --> 00:48:34.639
ever memory I've and I've had this since I was

00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:37.659
literally in pre -k and younger before that is

00:48:37.659 --> 00:48:40.659
me and like a like a little basket with these

00:48:40.659 --> 00:48:42.880
nuns just holding me and then they put me in

00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:45.800
this like portal of light and Then everything

00:48:45.800 --> 00:48:47.579
just gets bright and then I I don't remember

00:48:47.579 --> 00:48:56.829
what happens after that Brandon I believe you

00:48:56.829 --> 00:48:58.690
I know because I'm I believe that's what happened

00:48:58.690 --> 00:49:06.969
to I believe that's how you started I Like I

00:49:06.969 --> 00:49:10.590
mean I've always known you were a higher being.

00:49:10.630 --> 00:49:13.989
Yes. Thank you. I have always felt it Why do

00:49:13.989 --> 00:49:16.610
you think I made you Black Panther? I appreciate

00:49:16.610 --> 00:49:20.369
that see so I am special but not that but you

00:49:20.369 --> 00:49:22.250
special a different way special in a very different

00:49:22.250 --> 00:49:25.119
way. Yeah Some of the other way too, but just

00:49:25.119 --> 00:49:27.539
a little bit. It's a little bit. Yeah, mostly

00:49:27.539 --> 00:49:31.760
in the real good special Yeah, we just gotta

00:49:31.760 --> 00:49:42.059
find out what You already got it man, oh, yeah,

00:49:42.219 --> 00:49:44.780
you're up here killing it every time I hear somebody

00:49:44.780 --> 00:49:46.800
They'd be like you fucking tore that shit up.

00:49:46.800 --> 00:49:49.219
Yeah. Yeah, man. Hey, that's the goal. Yeah.

00:49:49.219 --> 00:49:52.679
Yeah slowing down So you you've been killing

00:49:52.679 --> 00:49:56.739
it too man. This is what I do And on Mondays

00:49:56.739 --> 00:49:59.079
like and the mics we got some good mics down

00:49:59.079 --> 00:50:01.360
there like on Mondays We got Maggie Meyers Maggie

00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:04.280
Meyers majesty divine host that yeah majesty

00:50:04.280 --> 00:50:07.980
divine host that one. Yeah Tuesday Tuesday we

00:50:07.980 --> 00:50:10.079
got two of them. You got moody Mondays host my

00:50:10.079 --> 00:50:12.840
whole brain gal and then after that you got beer

00:50:12.840 --> 00:50:17.300
hog with Jonathan silver. Hey And then now what's

00:50:17.300 --> 00:50:19.900
it every first and third? Thursdays. Oh yeah,

00:50:20.039 --> 00:50:22.400
Nicky's. Cheers. I guess that's this week. Cheers.

00:50:22.599 --> 00:50:26.380
Cheers. We got Thursdays back. We got some Thursdays

00:50:26.380 --> 00:50:30.059
back. And then Dan's once a month at Tip Tops.

00:50:30.639 --> 00:50:33.500
And his once a month at Homegrown. Or the new

00:50:33.500 --> 00:50:36.500
Homegrown. That's monkey brain. We'll put all

00:50:36.500 --> 00:50:38.599
the dates in the description. But yeah, that's

00:50:38.599 --> 00:50:41.320
a mic afterwards too on Friday. So if you're

00:50:41.320 --> 00:50:43.000
thinking about doing comedy, want to come out?

00:50:43.179 --> 00:50:45.760
That's what we're here for. And we're an accepting

00:50:45.760 --> 00:50:48.260
group. I made fun of a couple people, but we'll

00:50:48.260 --> 00:50:51.699
just one, I don't want to. The people like that

00:50:51.699 --> 00:50:54.320
don't appeal to me at all. But if you're not

00:50:54.320 --> 00:50:59.699
like him, you come out. Hell yeah. All right.

00:51:00.119 --> 00:51:02.099
Hell yeah. Any closing thoughts, Brandon? You

00:51:02.099 --> 00:51:05.059
got words of wisdom to drop on us? Words of wisdom.

00:51:05.280 --> 00:51:07.619
Yeah, it's been a minute. These people have been

00:51:07.619 --> 00:51:12.539
dying for your brain, for what you got. I got

00:51:12.539 --> 00:51:15.840
you, I got you. So, if you park in an area where

00:51:15.840 --> 00:51:18.000
you know people might try to break into your

00:51:18.000 --> 00:51:20.219
car or something, lock the door. I'm just gonna

00:51:20.219 --> 00:51:22.780
say that, lock the door. Or they might steal.

00:51:22.900 --> 00:51:24.860
Yeah, they might steal, because somebody broke

00:51:24.860 --> 00:51:28.119
into my car because all my doors were unlocked.

00:51:30.279 --> 00:51:32.380
They didn't break, they just opened the door.

00:51:33.719 --> 00:51:36.719
That's the thing with cars, like I mean, but

00:51:36.719 --> 00:51:38.199
you're not gonna break into a house, like as

00:51:38.199 --> 00:51:39.800
people leave their house unlocked, like you're

00:51:39.800 --> 00:51:41.320
not breaking into a house unless you're a crazy

00:51:41.320 --> 00:51:43.760
person. But like a car, you walk past it, the

00:51:43.760 --> 00:51:47.960
door opens. See what he got. What did they steal?

00:51:48.139 --> 00:51:50.219
So he goes in there. I have everything. I got

00:51:50.219 --> 00:51:52.739
a new pair. I got like these nice newish pair

00:51:52.739 --> 00:51:54.800
of shoes that he takes from the back seat and

00:51:54.800 --> 00:51:56.599
puts on the passenger seat in the front for some

00:51:56.599 --> 00:51:59.079
reason. Then I got like a whole fishing gear.

00:51:59.179 --> 00:52:01.179
I got the thing that you could jump the car with.

00:52:01.539 --> 00:52:03.260
That's a whole machine that you can even blow

00:52:03.260 --> 00:52:06.139
up your like tire with and stuff. I got a whole

00:52:06.139 --> 00:52:08.900
wardrobe of clothes and then like a bunch of

00:52:08.900 --> 00:52:11.360
other stuff like DVDs and stuff like that. And

00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:19.619
the only thing he took was some body spray. Donate

00:52:19.619 --> 00:52:27.019
to your local food shelter And then I did something

00:52:27.019 --> 00:52:28.800
worse today that could have been a disaster so

00:52:28.800 --> 00:52:31.639
I leave dude I'm I don't know. Maybe I am special

00:52:31.639 --> 00:52:34.019
do I left all my doors unlocked again, right?

00:52:36.130 --> 00:52:39.250
Did on my 15 it was it had to be like maybe like

00:52:39.250 --> 00:52:40.989
three or four hours later I come back from my

00:52:40.989 --> 00:52:43.570
like our lunch break and I see that my keys are

00:52:43.570 --> 00:52:47.789
on the passenger like seat just If he would have

00:52:47.789 --> 00:52:50.590
came back he'd like he's trying to give me the

00:52:50.590 --> 00:52:53.230
car Like you're fucking with yeah, I gotta take

00:52:53.230 --> 00:52:59.550
you would have had Oh my god That's beautiful.

00:52:59.730 --> 00:53:02.070
That's like your car doors. Yeah, I mean I lock

00:53:02.070 --> 00:53:05.510
up Yeah, well start doing it Do you feel bad

00:53:05.510 --> 00:53:07.150
about all you what he thought about all your

00:53:07.150 --> 00:53:08.969
other shit there? He's like, I'm fine. Yeah,

00:53:08.969 --> 00:53:12.150
I got it cuz I'm white I leave the door unlocked

00:53:12.150 --> 00:53:15.010
It because my thing is I'll be like man I look

00:53:15.010 --> 00:53:16.590
around but I'll be all right if any of these

00:53:16.590 --> 00:53:18.489
are gone Like I even had a Power Ranger pocket

00:53:18.489 --> 00:53:20.610
knife in there with a thing that you could push

00:53:20.610 --> 00:53:23.230
to break the window You know, I mean if you're

00:53:23.230 --> 00:53:25.550
in a murder. Oh, yeah, and it cuts the seatbelt.

00:53:25.550 --> 00:53:28.190
He just threw that to the side Is that the Power

00:53:28.190 --> 00:53:30.010
Ranger version? Yep, the black Power Ranger one.

00:53:30.489 --> 00:53:32.969
Oh, remember, we met him. Yep, I didn't meet

00:53:32.969 --> 00:53:34.530
him. Oh, you didn't get to meet him? You met

00:53:34.530 --> 00:53:37.809
him. Maybe next time. When was this? When we

00:53:37.809 --> 00:53:40.070
were at Lone Goose and Syfy tried to fight him.

00:53:41.170 --> 00:53:44.070
Yes. Yeah. Where that little black nigga at?

00:53:44.170 --> 00:53:45.969
I'm like, Jesus fucking, it's the Black Ranger,

00:53:46.130 --> 00:53:49.449
dude. Damn. Don't talk to him like that. Nah,

00:53:49.570 --> 00:53:51.349
man. He's an American. He's a national treasure.

00:53:51.429 --> 00:53:53.670
Hell yeah. Hell yeah, all those monsters he fought,

00:53:53.690 --> 00:53:56.860
bro. Yeah, for us. Yeah. That's why America's

00:53:56.860 --> 00:54:01.400
safe right now. Yeah. When we needed him the

00:54:01.400 --> 00:54:04.719
most, he disappeared. He started break dancing

00:54:04.719 --> 00:54:09.599
somewhere else. Now we just have him. My favorite

00:54:09.599 --> 00:54:13.199
picture of all time, dude. It's beautiful. It's

00:54:13.199 --> 00:54:16.960
the most, like, eight, seventies, eighty, uncle.

00:54:17.619 --> 00:54:20.119
I got that, he drunk. I know, yeah, I'm a little

00:54:20.119 --> 00:54:24.539
drunk. He about to beat his wife. No, no. Looking

00:54:24.539 --> 00:54:27.619
like James Brown. I look crazy. Not a lot of

00:54:27.619 --> 00:54:29.840
sweat. Not no sheena sweat. And we were outside.

00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:31.760
And it was hot. Yeah, and it was hot. It was

00:54:31.760 --> 00:54:35.980
hot out there. Did Dan powder you up? Nah, I

00:54:35.980 --> 00:54:39.659
wish. I got a little cream. It ain't strong.

00:54:39.659 --> 00:54:41.019
I don't think it's strong enough for you because

00:54:41.019 --> 00:54:43.619
it ain't that strong. But it is a cream where

00:54:43.619 --> 00:54:45.219
you put it on, you won't glisten because you

00:54:45.219 --> 00:54:47.239
glitter like I see the light. I see your nose

00:54:47.239 --> 00:54:50.500
is glistening. I feel something right here. You're

00:54:50.500 --> 00:54:52.260
not sweating, but it's just like it's there.

00:54:52.519 --> 00:54:56.019
So it's supposed to Keep the oil down. Dude,

00:54:56.480 --> 00:54:58.599
that would help, because I was at a mic in Birmingham,

00:54:59.460 --> 00:55:01.579
like, last month. And I had this one comment,

00:55:01.619 --> 00:55:03.340
like, she didn't know me. And I was sweating,

00:55:03.340 --> 00:55:06.880
like, terribly. And then, you know, my knees

00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:08.539
hyperextend. Like, I got a picture of me trying

00:55:08.539 --> 00:55:12.380
to go fishing. It looks like I'm a crane. So

00:55:12.380 --> 00:55:15.519
I do this. A picture where his leg is out. And

00:55:15.519 --> 00:55:17.599
it looked like I was a crane or something. Yeah.

00:55:17.880 --> 00:55:20.219
Yeah, so me, I naturally do this where I rock.

00:55:20.409 --> 00:55:23.909
But not sitting down standing up because that's

00:55:23.909 --> 00:55:28.650
okay. And she keeps coming up to me and she's

00:55:28.650 --> 00:55:30.510
like, are you okay? Are you nervous? Are you

00:55:30.510 --> 00:55:31.769
gonna be all right? And I'm like, dude, I'm just

00:55:31.769 --> 00:55:33.869
fine. Like talking and I'm having full -blown

00:55:33.869 --> 00:55:36.170
conversation, laughing my ass off. She just put

00:55:36.170 --> 00:55:38.670
her hand like, hey, it's gonna be okay. And I'm

00:55:38.670 --> 00:55:41.230
like, just like back in the old days, right?

00:55:41.449 --> 00:55:43.650
And people saw it was special. It's okay. Are

00:55:43.650 --> 00:55:51.250
you all right, buddy? Damn. Thankfully, I did

00:55:51.250 --> 00:55:53.170
great that day. And then she was like, oh, man,

00:55:53.250 --> 00:55:54.630
maybe you're not that nervous. I was like, yeah,

00:55:54.730 --> 00:55:58.809
I see. And he's just a sweaty person. No, and

00:55:58.809 --> 00:56:00.349
then even Mike was like, damn, Brad, you finna

00:56:00.349 --> 00:56:04.090
pass out. And I'm like, dude, I'm OK. Good. Then

00:56:04.090 --> 00:56:06.030
they almost had a fight. That was crazy, too.

00:56:06.030 --> 00:56:08.250
Who? That same lady. She was yelling at like

00:56:08.250 --> 00:56:10.489
another comic. Like, I haven't really seen him.

00:56:10.690 --> 00:56:13.050
Like, newer comic. But they were arguing. In

00:56:13.050 --> 00:56:15.739
chat. No, it was in real life. Like we were in

00:56:15.739 --> 00:56:21.340
Chattanooga. Oh, no, no, it wasn't Okay Other

00:56:21.340 --> 00:56:22.579
Birmingham, but she was like saying something

00:56:22.579 --> 00:56:24.539
like you not funny. He was like fuck you and

00:56:24.539 --> 00:56:26.639
they just kept going back at it He just left

00:56:26.639 --> 00:56:28.539
outside. I'm gonna get this chick to whoop your

00:56:28.539 --> 00:56:30.699
ass and and soon as I saw him run out I would

00:56:30.699 --> 00:56:33.579
do might go get a gun. Was it Odum? All right.

00:56:33.619 --> 00:56:35.760
No, I have no idea who this dude. I don't think

00:56:35.760 --> 00:56:37.800
that they say I don't think he goes out no more

00:56:40.920 --> 00:56:43.500
See the thing about this shit is you are gonna

00:56:43.500 --> 00:56:47.280
see a lot of people go like we had we haven't

00:56:47.280 --> 00:56:52.179
talked about it, but Our cohort. Oh, yeah who

00:56:52.179 --> 00:56:59.780
I replaced We're doing this let's say rest in

00:56:59.780 --> 00:57:04.139
peace JJ you had a long hard fight and you know

00:57:04.280 --> 00:57:06.800
People don't talk enough about anal fissures.

00:57:07.139 --> 00:57:11.000
Yeah AIDS is hard to beat it is for your life,

00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:15.000
especially when you have full -blown AIDS Fast

00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:23.300
that's hard goes by fast That's his spirit talking

00:57:23.300 --> 00:57:26.880
you would be a frog so we have a moment of time

00:57:26.880 --> 00:57:47.639
silence for our friend All right Once this releases

00:57:47.639 --> 00:57:50.920
we'll do weekly. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're

00:57:50.920 --> 00:57:52.820
back We're gonna have some fun to do some other

00:57:52.820 --> 00:57:56.480
shit skits Huntsville comedy news some stand

00:57:56.480 --> 00:57:59.460
-up shut this talk, you know Kind of like Joe

00:57:59.460 --> 00:58:02.380
Rogan, but but we like the Jews. We like everybody

00:58:02.380 --> 00:58:06.239
like well, well now just the Jews We're heavily

00:58:06.239 --> 00:58:11.500
aligned They're fine He'll take a little convincing,

00:58:11.519 --> 00:58:52.699
but I'll get him one day I hate Scrappy Doo.
