WEBVTT 00:00:01.400 --> 00:00:05.940 This week on Clown College. Explain this the 00:00:05.940 --> 00:00:08.199 normal way. The normal way, somebody will clean 00:00:08.199 --> 00:00:11.140 it out. Then you open it and just go on in there. 00:00:12.220 --> 00:00:15.900 It's kind of like, I guess, eating an old cat, 00:00:16.019 --> 00:00:18.640 if you know what I mean. But in a reverse way. 00:00:19.379 --> 00:00:22.420 You're going in that ass. Do you go circles or 00:00:22.420 --> 00:00:25.219 do you go up and down on the ass? You got to 00:00:25.219 --> 00:00:26.699 go up and down, right? You got to go up and down. 00:00:27.790 --> 00:00:31.629 What's this? This is crazy. I don't know what 00:00:31.629 --> 00:00:39.490 the meta is right now. This is crazy. Welcome 00:00:39.490 --> 00:00:41.329 to Clown College. We have profound knowledge 00:00:41.329 --> 00:00:43.549 in many ways to elevate and make you sound polished. 00:00:43.609 --> 00:00:46.189 So if you want to hear a little honest, a few 00:00:46.189 --> 00:00:48.369 takes on a way to make it as a comic, then stick 00:00:48.369 --> 00:00:50.490 around for a while to fit down to clown. We've 00:00:50.490 --> 00:00:52.450 got the guests right now just to show you how. 00:00:54.729 --> 00:01:25.359 Let's all go to Clown College. See, I bet that's 00:01:25.359 --> 00:01:26.750 how they get them. How do I sound? Now I'm on? 00:01:26.810 --> 00:01:29.930 Am I on, Brandon? Yeah, you're on. In about 18 00:01:29.930 --> 00:01:32.209 years, Alex won't flirt with that one anymore. 00:01:33.409 --> 00:01:40.909 No, I deleted that one. Cobalt CPP. I've only 00:01:40.909 --> 00:01:42.969 downloaded the one. I haven't done it with ChatGPT 00:01:42.969 --> 00:01:45.700 because then they would have my shit. I don't 00:01:45.700 --> 00:01:46.879 want them to know. Did they save all that stuff? 00:01:46.980 --> 00:01:49.640 I don't want them to know the specific names 00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:52.519 of the people in my life who I'm making an AIB. 00:01:52.620 --> 00:01:54.879 Oh, my goodness. Because then when you get the 00:01:54.879 --> 00:01:56.780 Neuralink, it's going to play. Yeah, then it'll 00:01:56.780 --> 00:01:58.980 happen. Then it'll start crossing over Black 00:01:58.980 --> 00:02:00.739 Mirror style. Yeah, I was going to say, that's 00:02:00.739 --> 00:02:04.540 literally the USS carrier or whatever. Is that 00:02:04.540 --> 00:02:06.900 one of the new ones? Yeah, it was on last season. 00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:08.860 They got two of them now. I thought there was 00:02:08.860 --> 00:02:11.539 a brand new one that just came out. Yeah, that's 00:02:11.539 --> 00:02:13.759 the second one. But you saw the first one, right? 00:02:14.120 --> 00:02:16.840 I haven't seen any of the new season. No, the 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:18.919 one, the first time they did, it's like Star 00:02:18.919 --> 00:02:21.979 Trek shit, but it's in like a simulator. Jesse 00:02:21.979 --> 00:02:24.159 Plymouth? Yes, I do remember that. Yeah. Jesse 00:02:24.159 --> 00:02:25.639 Plymouth? That's what he's talking about doing. 00:02:26.719 --> 00:02:28.379 Storing your subconscious, even though you'll 00:02:28.379 --> 00:02:30.560 still go living on. Wasn't there another one 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:31.800 about that? Because then you can fuck your memories. 00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:35.199 Where it's the lesbians? What? They're in that 00:02:35.199 --> 00:02:37.919 San Pedro or wherever? Yeah, I didn't know. I 00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:40.259 only watched that once. They live in the computer 00:02:40.259 --> 00:02:42.159 after they die. You know what's my favorite Black 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:45.340 Mirror? Speaking of simulations and stuff, it's 00:02:45.340 --> 00:02:47.620 the fighting game one. That is my favorite, and 00:02:47.620 --> 00:02:50.039 everybody thought it was weird. It is funny. 00:02:50.199 --> 00:02:51.460 That's probably going to be better than what 00:02:51.460 --> 00:02:52.819 he watched. Yeah, I have to watch that one. You 00:02:52.819 --> 00:02:54.460 want to describe it to Brandon? Yeah, go ahead. 00:02:54.580 --> 00:02:56.460 I think we've actually talked about it on the 00:02:56.460 --> 00:02:59.280 podcast before. But basically, it's an augmented 00:02:59.280 --> 00:03:03.229 reality game, like in the future. VR. these little 00:03:03.229 --> 00:03:05.530 things on your temples, and it transports you 00:03:05.530 --> 00:03:08.569 into the game. You see everything in the game, 00:03:08.669 --> 00:03:11.469 hear everything, feel everything. It's like you're 00:03:11.469 --> 00:03:15.500 actually there. These two buddies were playing 00:03:15.500 --> 00:03:17.699 the game. They're playing like a Street Fighter 00:03:17.699 --> 00:03:19.500 style game. So it's like you and JJ playing the 00:03:19.500 --> 00:03:20.580 game, right? Like me and you were playing the 00:03:20.580 --> 00:03:22.919 game. I think they were cousins or something. 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:25.639 I don't know. No, they're just two friends. Now 00:03:25.639 --> 00:03:27.800 I like it more. It's y 'all two playing the game, 00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:29.719 right? But we're playing the game. We're playing 00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:31.639 Street Fighter, so we're fighting each other, 00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:33.300 and we're actually feeling all the hits and stuff, 00:03:33.400 --> 00:03:35.280 and then all of a sudden we start engaging in 00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:39.300 intercourse. Well, okay, you missed a key point. 00:03:39.520 --> 00:03:41.759 You're playing as a girl character. Yeah, so 00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:45.960 one of you is the hot Asian man, like Johnny 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:48.020 Tsunami type, and the other's like Chun -Li. 00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:50.680 Yeah. That's just the characters you pick in 00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:52.460 the fight. We're like, we're playing this game. 00:03:52.620 --> 00:03:54.719 Oh, Chun -Li has the kicks. I'm going to pick 00:03:54.719 --> 00:03:57.099 her. But you're in the body in the game. Yeah. 00:03:57.099 --> 00:04:00.919 So it's like you are Liu Kang or whatever. Yeah. 00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:03.620 And then he's Chun -Li. But that's what you see. 00:04:03.860 --> 00:04:05.479 So it's like, you know what I'm saying? It's 00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:07.360 just like your buddy JJ, but when you guys fight. 00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:10.020 And I don't sound like me or look like me. He's 00:04:10.020 --> 00:04:12.259 Chun -Li. That's who you think you're talking 00:04:12.259 --> 00:04:15.039 to. Let's put it in Turner's brain. I'm not liking 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:19.110 this. It's like you're playing WWE. and JJ chooses 00:04:19.110 --> 00:04:21.649 Undertaker and you pick who's the smallest woman. 00:04:22.050 --> 00:04:28.050 Yes. He's on board. I'm not on board. Because 00:04:28.050 --> 00:04:31.089 it's still you at the end of the day. Yeah, but 00:04:31.089 --> 00:04:32.889 it's in a game. It's not like you're touching 00:04:32.889 --> 00:04:35.430 them. But you said that we feel everything, right? 00:04:35.769 --> 00:04:40.470 So you're going to feel that? Yeah. You can experience 00:04:40.470 --> 00:04:44.500 the female orgasm. I don't want to experience 00:04:44.500 --> 00:04:47.220 an orgasm, though, man. Why not? Because I'm 00:04:47.220 --> 00:04:49.579 good. These guys haven't either, Brennan. I'm 00:04:49.579 --> 00:04:53.819 good. Oh, it was bad. That's funny. Because my 00:04:53.819 --> 00:04:55.500 thing is, like, at the end of the day, we got 00:04:55.500 --> 00:04:57.459 to take it off right now and be like, hey, man, 00:04:57.620 --> 00:05:00.420 how you doing? But he doesn't look like that. 00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:06.500 Yeah. Yeah. But you felt Chung Lee. Yeah, you 00:05:06.500 --> 00:05:08.899 feel like the body in the game. So you felt Mark 00:05:08.899 --> 00:05:13.990 Henry? Yes. Unfortunately, I did. And that's 00:05:13.990 --> 00:05:15.610 what he liked when he was Sean Lee. That's what 00:05:15.610 --> 00:05:19.870 you wanted to do? I mean, first of all, the hostility. 00:05:20.269 --> 00:05:25.350 This was a consensual act, Brandon. Nah, I'm 00:05:25.350 --> 00:05:28.550 good. I'm good. How about we just not have sex 00:05:28.550 --> 00:05:33.370 after the fight? Well, it's not after. He still 00:05:33.370 --> 00:05:35.689 thinks we're going to fight and then have sex? 00:05:38.120 --> 00:05:41.019 But no, man, and the whole episode is about, 00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:45.740 is that gay? Is it? Because their actual bodies 00:05:45.740 --> 00:05:47.639 aren't having sex with each other. But their 00:05:47.639 --> 00:05:50.860 minds are. You're mentally having sex with another 00:05:50.860 --> 00:05:53.540 dude. No, I'm good. But then later on in that 00:05:53.540 --> 00:05:56.620 episode, the guy admits it's not as good with 00:05:56.620 --> 00:05:59.060 the computer. When he's talking about playing 00:05:59.060 --> 00:06:01.339 against him, I've tried playing against other 00:06:01.339 --> 00:06:03.879 people. I've tried having every combination of 00:06:03.879 --> 00:06:05.699 sex between the characters. He was like, even 00:06:05.699 --> 00:06:09.509 the polar bear. A little beastie. Well, that's 00:06:09.509 --> 00:06:12.350 what you like. What are you talking about, furries? 00:06:12.670 --> 00:06:14.910 Because I don't like furries. No, I wasn't talking 00:06:14.910 --> 00:06:17.110 about that, but I was talking about the monster 00:06:17.110 --> 00:06:19.149 vagina thing. I actually saw one in Spencer. 00:06:19.230 --> 00:06:22.829 So it's a real live polar bear that he just fought. 00:06:23.029 --> 00:06:26.649 Look at the polar bear character. He just fought. 00:06:26.870 --> 00:06:31.000 I'm good. What's it called? Striking Vipers. 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:35.019 Jesus Christ. Jesus. You really like this one, 00:06:35.060 --> 00:06:37.019 for real. I just rewatched it. It's funny, because 00:06:37.019 --> 00:06:39.860 they end up kissing. Yeah. They're like, are 00:06:39.860 --> 00:06:42.839 we gay? Yeah. No, is the answer. I love that 00:06:42.839 --> 00:06:45.220 they got to that point. They fist fought in the 00:06:45.220 --> 00:06:50.040 rain, then kissed. And then his wife, we're skipping 00:06:50.040 --> 00:06:53.259 over the craziest part. Spoiler alert. At the 00:06:53.259 --> 00:06:56.420 end, he... Him and his wife have been together 00:06:56.420 --> 00:06:58.480 for like 10 years when this starts happening. 00:06:58.600 --> 00:07:01.939 On their anniversary every year, he takes his 00:07:01.939 --> 00:07:04.600 ring off. She goes and has sex with another guy. 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:07.699 And he goes and has sex with his buddy on this 00:07:07.699 --> 00:07:13.699 game. Wait. Yeah. Now he's into it. Okay, no. 00:07:13.779 --> 00:07:17.500 See, without that, it's better. That's insane. 00:07:17.639 --> 00:07:20.000 Why would you add that? Because you got the dynamic 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:21.420 between him and his... He has to tell his old 00:07:21.420 --> 00:07:24.100 lady. Who gives a fuck? This is a game. Bitch. 00:07:24.649 --> 00:07:26.629 We're gaming. But that's the whole debate. You're 00:07:26.629 --> 00:07:29.129 busting nuts, though. We're gaming. Oh, I wonder, 00:07:29.209 --> 00:07:31.370 do you really bust? You don't know what I'm gaming. 00:07:32.310 --> 00:07:34.850 Does it come out physically? Well, you know, 00:07:34.850 --> 00:07:38.129 like a wet dream, probably. But that means it's 00:07:38.129 --> 00:07:39.750 coming out. You're probably so horny that you 00:07:39.750 --> 00:07:42.029 might cum in your pants type shit, is how I imagine 00:07:42.029 --> 00:07:43.709 it. This is going to be our experiment that we 00:07:43.709 --> 00:07:46.050 run when this technology becomes available. And 00:07:46.050 --> 00:07:50.269 Brandon, you're in, dude. So whenever next time 00:07:50.269 --> 00:07:52.029 you put those things on, the only thing you're 00:07:52.029 --> 00:07:56.350 going to see is him as the incredible mom. You'll 00:07:56.350 --> 00:07:58.930 only see Chun -Li. No, the incredible's mom. 00:07:59.370 --> 00:08:02.430 Yeah, the Miss Incredible. I know, but I'm still 00:08:02.430 --> 00:08:05.889 not going to enjoy it. I know, but I'm like, 00:08:06.050 --> 00:08:09.310 I know this is JJ right here. Dude, but if I 00:08:09.310 --> 00:08:11.009 was Miss Incredible, I could jerk you off from 00:08:11.009 --> 00:08:15.350 like 25 feet away. Still no, man. This is JJ, 00:08:15.509 --> 00:08:19.009 man. He can sit in it. He can sit in it. I'm 00:08:19.009 --> 00:08:21.069 sorry, because once you take off this thing, 00:08:21.170 --> 00:08:23.509 you'll be like, man, that was a good game. We 00:08:23.509 --> 00:08:25.230 don't have to be in the same room. We can play 00:08:25.230 --> 00:08:27.050 online. We can be in your house. We're still 00:08:27.050 --> 00:08:29.009 going to come across one day and I'll be like, 00:08:29.069 --> 00:08:32.669 hey, man, good game. I'm good. Good game. I'm 00:08:32.669 --> 00:08:35.389 good. I just won't tell you if I find you. I'll 00:08:35.389 --> 00:08:38.860 make a different account. Would you be hurt if 00:08:38.860 --> 00:08:40.960 you found out if you were doing this? It's just 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:43.580 like you're just doing it online. You don't know 00:08:43.580 --> 00:08:45.000 who it is. You think it's that, and then you 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:47.139 find out it's JJ. Would you be mad? Yeah, I'd 00:08:47.139 --> 00:08:49.940 be like, damn. What if I didn't know it was you 00:08:49.940 --> 00:08:52.519 either? That is kind of like buying an OnlyFans 00:08:52.519 --> 00:08:55.279 of someone you know under a burner account, which 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:58.279 I've done, and I'm sorry. You know what I mean? 00:08:58.860 --> 00:09:01.740 What? She knows it's me. She probably knows it's 00:09:01.740 --> 00:09:06.149 me. She probably has a feeling. Do you message? 00:09:08.269 --> 00:09:11.610 Not on that one. What do you mean? Not on that 00:09:11.610 --> 00:09:15.409 site. This is all in the past. I'm a taken man 00:09:15.409 --> 00:09:24.289 now. Buddha. Buddha? AAPI month. I forgot about 00:09:24.289 --> 00:09:27.809 that. Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day out there. 00:09:28.210 --> 00:09:32.600 To all the mamas. Love you mama. Love your mom. 00:09:32.700 --> 00:09:36.759 No. No, my mom doesn't watch this either, man. 00:09:37.100 --> 00:09:40.399 She shouldn't. Someone asked my mom if she's 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:42.580 ever, or someone told my mom, because she works 00:09:42.580 --> 00:09:44.480 at the Orion, and they were like, oh, you know 00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:47.639 Alex is your son? Oh, I've seen his comedy. And 00:09:47.639 --> 00:09:51.019 my mom was like, uh -huh, I haven't. Damn. It 00:09:51.019 --> 00:09:52.440 was pretty funny. I'm like, no, I like that. 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:55.179 That's hilarious. Like, keep not seeing me, because 00:09:55.179 --> 00:09:58.659 that's a funny response. I like that. But also, 00:09:58.759 --> 00:10:01.639 that's not for her. Tell me about egg drop soup. 00:10:02.100 --> 00:10:03.960 Everything's not for everybody. Yeah. Egg drop, 00:10:04.019 --> 00:10:06.240 what is it? Oh, yeah, it's hot and sour soup. 00:10:06.379 --> 00:10:09.700 Oh, yeah. That's mostly true, that joke. Oh, 00:10:09.820 --> 00:10:12.740 okay. Oh, no, I have heard that. That's not me 00:10:12.740 --> 00:10:14.700 just being racist. I thought it was for a second. 00:10:14.700 --> 00:10:20.139 I had to remember the joke. I thought it was 00:10:20.139 --> 00:10:21.879 like, damn, you just called your mom egg drop 00:10:21.879 --> 00:10:27.860 soup? Jesus Christ, dude. That would be over 00:10:27.860 --> 00:10:30.259 the line, dude. Way over the line. It would. 00:10:30.419 --> 00:10:33.019 And you know me. I stay on this side of the line. 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:37.519 Yeah, always. Oh, wow. Dude, if you can't talk 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:39.840 about it, we'll cut it out. Can you talk about 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:42.519 the murder that you witnessed? The murder that 00:10:42.519 --> 00:10:44.940 I witnessed? Yeah. Are you talking about the 00:10:44.940 --> 00:10:48.320 animal variety? Yes. Yeah, dude. Okay, so I knew 00:10:48.320 --> 00:10:50.460 somebody. I'm not going to say how I know this 00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:52.100 person. Okay, yeah, that's good. But recently, 00:10:52.220 --> 00:10:57.840 in a professional setting, I saw a man put a 00:10:57.840 --> 00:11:02.299 turtle into a garbage disposal. Wow. And it, 00:11:02.340 --> 00:11:06.220 like, exploded, man. A live one, too. Wow. It 00:11:06.220 --> 00:11:10.679 wasn't dead. Damn, man. And it was a baby turtle. 00:11:11.220 --> 00:11:14.200 What is wrong? Dude, I need you to understand 00:11:14.200 --> 00:11:17.460 this man is going to do something. But in a weird 00:11:17.460 --> 00:11:20.379 way, it wasn't him that I was as worried about 00:11:20.379 --> 00:11:22.580 because everybody else did not really make it 00:11:22.580 --> 00:11:25.039 seem like a big deal. And me on the inside, I 00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:27.960 was kind of like, what the fuck? Kinda? I'm worried 00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:30.860 about you, motherfucker. When you told us, I 00:11:30.860 --> 00:11:34.360 was really worried about you. Like, this is a 00:11:34.360 --> 00:11:37.259 crazed man. Well, see, JJ can hang with that 00:11:37.259 --> 00:11:40.899 type, though. Yeah. That's my gang initiation. 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.860 Yeah, you would look like you would do that. 00:11:43.480 --> 00:11:45.899 They won't even make you do it because they would 00:11:45.899 --> 00:11:49.059 just assume you would. Damn, man. So you know 00:11:49.059 --> 00:11:52.100 why he did it? Was he like a Teenage Mutant Ninja 00:11:52.100 --> 00:11:54.720 Turtle fan? Wanted to shred it? Like shred it 00:11:54.720 --> 00:11:57.740 or something? That's perfect. That's actually 00:11:57.740 --> 00:12:01.799 perfect. I don't think it was that. No. But... 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:04.379 I don't know why he did it, Brandon, to be honest. 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:06.220 It was just so random. He's got a stable person, 00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:09.879 though, right? No, he's a weird dude outside 00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:12.299 of that. Very quiet until he's not, and usually 00:12:12.299 --> 00:12:14.759 when he speaks, I'm left with more questions 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:17.600 than answers. I helped a turtle across the street 00:12:17.600 --> 00:12:21.600 today. Oh, nice. See? Opposite of the spectrum. 00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:25.600 That's better. Heroism. And then I made a soup. 00:12:25.980 --> 00:12:30.840 I don't know. I was like, why'd they waste that 00:12:30.840 --> 00:12:34.220 fucking meat, dude? Damn. Yeah, right, because 00:12:34.220 --> 00:12:35.740 you can't get anything out of that. You can't. 00:12:35.740 --> 00:12:37.740 That's crazy. They do make turtle soup. No, out 00:12:37.740 --> 00:12:39.740 of a garbage. If you hit it in the garbage, and 00:12:39.740 --> 00:12:42.240 then shit just started flying everywhere. Yeah, 00:12:42.519 --> 00:12:44.059 it wasn't contained in the garbage. Wait, wait, 00:12:44.159 --> 00:12:48.190 wait. There was shrapnel. Oh, God, dude. This 00:12:48.190 --> 00:12:50.690 dude is sick. Did it make a noise because it 00:12:50.690 --> 00:12:52.529 hissed at me when I picked it up with the paper 00:12:52.529 --> 00:12:54.789 towel? It didn't make. The only noise, I don't 00:12:54.789 --> 00:12:56.990 think it really made the noise. I think the noise 00:12:56.990 --> 00:13:00.009 was done. It didn't make the noise. The noise. 00:13:00.090 --> 00:13:03.070 It made it, but not in an active way. Like a 00:13:03.070 --> 00:13:06.009 passive, it just got crushed. Much like a human 00:13:06.009 --> 00:13:09.149 body makes a thud when it hits the ground. This 00:13:09.149 --> 00:13:13.250 turtle made a noise. Yeah, but it wasn't like 00:13:13.250 --> 00:13:15.789 screaming or anything. Oh, man. That would have 00:13:15.789 --> 00:13:19.210 been too much. I can handle gruesome turtle death, 00:13:19.309 --> 00:13:21.370 but if it starts making noises, that's when I'm 00:13:21.370 --> 00:13:22.909 out. Yeah, because they're just like a rock, 00:13:22.990 --> 00:13:25.870 right? Just a rock. You start yelling, help me 00:13:25.870 --> 00:13:31.669 and shit. Help! Help! I can talk! Help me! I 00:13:31.669 --> 00:13:37.669 used a paper straw this morning. Damn, man. One 00:13:37.669 --> 00:13:40.710 for one. I wish it worked like that. Oh, Lord. 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:44.940 It was crazy. I would ask why. People cried. 00:13:45.220 --> 00:13:47.279 It was bad. I thought you said no one cared. 00:13:47.899 --> 00:13:51.639 But it was the only woman in attendance. She 00:13:51.639 --> 00:13:56.039 was written off as hysterical immediately. Did 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:59.100 she do that scream when somebody gets hurt? Somebody 00:13:59.100 --> 00:14:03.000 lost it. Yeah, because I was fucking insane. 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:05.279 Yeah, what did she say though? I have to later 00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:07.220 be like, she's a fucking pussy. I would report 00:14:07.220 --> 00:14:12.279 that. to some agency. That's not okay. Dude, 00:14:12.279 --> 00:14:15.259 they said like, they were saying slurs when I 00:14:15.259 --> 00:14:17.360 was cutting fruit at IGA and I just walked out. 00:14:17.379 --> 00:14:21.039 I was like, these fucking... Where's IGA? Yeah, 00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:22.759 the white trash. Yeah, man, what'd they say? 00:14:23.860 --> 00:14:26.539 Yeah, what slurs? Not against any of y 'all. 00:14:26.639 --> 00:14:29.559 Let's just say that. Oh, okay. Ooh, Asians? No, 00:14:29.559 --> 00:14:32.000 no, no, no. So none of us? Oh, Pakistani. Well, 00:14:32.019 --> 00:14:37.539 maybe, maybe Brandon. Oh, well, his own... Gay 00:14:37.539 --> 00:14:43.220 slurs. They have nothing to do with me. Yeah, 00:14:44.700 --> 00:14:50.320 we know. We believe you. No, I was just... Nothing 00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:52.299 wrong with that. No, but it was like egregiously. 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:55.139 I would say it's a little worse than the turtle. 00:14:55.320 --> 00:14:58.720 What's IGA? What? Hold on, hold on. What'd you 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:00.860 say is worse than the turtle? Saying gay slurs? 00:15:00.860 --> 00:15:07.100 No, no. That's a woke podcast. It was a gay turtle. 00:15:09.159 --> 00:15:13.940 Life was lost. He let a dude pick him up. We're 00:15:13.940 --> 00:15:18.080 anti -PETA pro -gay. But fuck PETA. Dude, we're 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:20.399 like Caitlyn Jenner, but different. We're like 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:22.659 Caitlyn Jenner, but different. Yeah, yeah, like 00:15:22.659 --> 00:15:25.539 weird. We're just confusing. Our politics are 00:15:25.539 --> 00:15:30.240 just confusing. Pure anarchist. Yeah, but you 00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:32.559 can't execute a turtle and then just expect people 00:15:32.559 --> 00:15:36.519 to go back. No. Yeah, that causes, yeah, that's 00:15:36.519 --> 00:15:38.460 an hour of your time. That's the second death 00:15:38.460 --> 00:15:42.240 I've seen in Nashville, dude. Damn, man. One 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:44.840 was a human. Yeah. One was a turtle. Which one? 00:15:46.340 --> 00:15:50.220 Taunted. I don't have to go back, so. Oh, dude, 00:15:50.299 --> 00:15:51.940 we should definitely do Kill Tony, though, when 00:15:51.940 --> 00:15:53.580 it comes back to Nashville, and we should take 00:15:53.580 --> 00:15:55.529 you. Because you're going to get picked, and 00:15:55.529 --> 00:15:58.429 you're going to shoot up the venue. Oh, man. 00:15:58.730 --> 00:16:01.190 I'm going to be executed on stage. They just 00:16:01.190 --> 00:16:03.950 do an ISIS execution? That's what it has devolved 00:16:03.950 --> 00:16:10.009 to by then? Yeah. Tony's just like... Kill this 00:16:10.009 --> 00:16:13.009 queer. Dude. Carson Elmore is going to say it 00:16:13.009 --> 00:16:18.169 was staged. Ace will be like, it's a false flag. 00:16:18.610 --> 00:16:21.450 It was Ace that killed me. It's a false flag. 00:16:21.570 --> 00:16:24.070 A mile away with a sniper rifle he built. He 00:16:24.070 --> 00:16:27.250 built. That's crazy. Out of Legos from the new 00:16:27.250 --> 00:16:29.210 store, Bridge Street, which you can check out. 00:16:29.269 --> 00:16:32.169 Is it open? Yeah, it's open. My friends took 00:16:32.169 --> 00:16:35.129 their kids and said it was good. Legos are cool. 00:16:35.269 --> 00:16:37.759 You still do Legos? Oh, man, it's expensive, 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:40.440 man. I can't afford to do that. They're a little 00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:42.519 cheaper now. I feel like they used to be more 00:16:42.519 --> 00:16:44.519 expensive, but they're a little more reasonable 00:16:44.519 --> 00:16:49.019 when I pass them. The pink tax applies to Legos 00:16:49.019 --> 00:16:51.120 heavily, dude. Really? Yeah. The fuck is a pink 00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:55.100 tax? It's like products geared to be more feminine, 00:16:55.259 --> 00:16:57.379 or like pink and coloration, or just anything 00:16:57.379 --> 00:17:00.039 more feminine costs more. And just because they 00:17:00.039 --> 00:17:02.399 have females? Just because it's pink. Kids? Damn. 00:17:04.069 --> 00:17:06.730 Like, pins and stuff are really bad. Like, you 00:17:06.730 --> 00:17:09.730 can get a two -pack of Bic pins for, like, $4. 00:17:09.730 --> 00:17:13.990 But the girls would. And they said with the Lego 00:17:13.990 --> 00:17:16.670 thing, it's like an attempt to keep women out 00:17:16.670 --> 00:17:18.289 of STEM or something. I don't know if that's 00:17:18.289 --> 00:17:20.950 true. Women out of STEM? Science and engineering. 00:17:21.049 --> 00:17:24.150 Oh, okay. They've done a great job with the black 00:17:24.150 --> 00:17:31.240 community. Thanks, Obama. That's the craziest. 00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:38.099 Roblox. Have you been seeing the Italian brain 00:17:38.099 --> 00:17:41.079 rot stuff, Dom? The Italian brain rot memes? 00:17:41.420 --> 00:17:43.859 This is like something I wasn't even privy to. 00:17:43.960 --> 00:17:46.079 Have you seen this? I might know what you're 00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:49.180 talking about. It's just like AI generated Italian 00:17:49.180 --> 00:17:52.200 brain rot memes. I've seen fat n -word coin. 00:17:52.519 --> 00:17:54.640 I've seen that a lot. Have you all seen that? 00:17:54.640 --> 00:18:00.640 Fat nigga coin? You sound like the guy. Fuck 00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:02.839 you, Alec. No, but yes. Yeah, when you said that, 00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:05.019 yes. But I realized how funny that was when I 00:18:05.019 --> 00:18:08.420 said it. Hold on. I've seen like... We're throwing 00:18:08.420 --> 00:18:09.859 a lot at them. We're throwing a lot at them. 00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:12.480 I've seen like a page where they like have a 00:18:12.480 --> 00:18:14.240 thing where they'll be like, man, we just a bunch 00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:18.039 of fat niggas on a boat. Yeah, I know. One could 00:18:18.039 --> 00:18:20.980 be your uncle. We gonna buy the solar system. 00:18:21.140 --> 00:18:23.640 Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, I've seen those. 00:18:23.799 --> 00:18:26.160 Those are funny. Yeah, those are good. Have you 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:28.140 ever seen the video of the dude who's like, I'm 00:18:28.140 --> 00:18:30.940 just an N -word with a rocket launcher? No. I 00:18:30.940 --> 00:18:35.940 love that video. That's the one we have. Probably 00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:39.039 gangs or whatever. He's walking around with it. 00:18:39.819 --> 00:18:41.880 Hey, nice. He typed it this time. Hell yeah, 00:18:41.880 --> 00:18:46.420 Brandon. Yeah, yeah. Good shit. Ooh, that boy 00:18:46.420 --> 00:18:49.700 go. There it is. There it is. I don't know why 00:18:49.700 --> 00:18:52.859 it's funny to me. That's the meme. It was just 00:18:52.859 --> 00:18:56.769 on it, yeah. Right here? Yeah. Oh, dude, that's 00:18:56.769 --> 00:18:58.549 the dude from Loiter Squad. I don't think that's 00:18:58.549 --> 00:19:03.990 it. Oh, shit. Oh, nah, nah. Back out? Yep. Let's 00:19:03.990 --> 00:19:07.349 get back. And then that one. Oh, that's a gif, 00:19:07.349 --> 00:19:09.369 though. Is this on National Geographic? Here, 00:19:09.569 --> 00:19:11.750 go to Google. Type in Google, and then search 00:19:11.750 --> 00:19:13.329 on there. You have to type it in, though, because 00:19:13.329 --> 00:19:17.589 it's not on Google. Okay, hold up. I'll say Google 00:19:17.589 --> 00:19:20.769 is the default. So this is not in any third world 00:19:20.769 --> 00:19:22.210 country? This is just here? This is America? 00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:26.259 This video? Yeah. No. This is definitely overseas. 00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:29.240 Oh, okay, okay. Wait, does he say this? Yeah. 00:19:29.619 --> 00:19:31.779 Oh, but he says it in a... He's a race. But he 00:19:31.779 --> 00:19:34.160 says it with an accent, right? It's not like 00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:36.119 a good... No, he sounds American as fuck. Oh. 00:19:36.660 --> 00:19:38.740 Don't tell me just over there... So is it Johnny 00:19:38.740 --> 00:19:43.359 Somali? Who has like 30... Dude, Vitaly and Johnny 00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:46.299 Somali. He says who he is. He does? Yeah. Okay, 00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:48.160 okay. Yeah, it is. It's an N -word with a rocket. 00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:51.680 Y 'all ready? Yeah. I'm just a nigga with a rocket 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:55.089 launcher. Oh, no, I know exactly what this is. 00:19:55.230 --> 00:19:56.769 What is that? This is from Loiter Squad because 00:19:56.769 --> 00:19:59.910 this is that same... Oh, that's a scene from 00:19:59.910 --> 00:20:01.190 Loiter. I thought this was real the whole time. 00:20:02.430 --> 00:20:04.150 That's the scene that Tyler the Creator and them 00:20:04.150 --> 00:20:05.970 did. That makes a lot more sense. Yeah, we're 00:20:05.970 --> 00:20:08.710 seeing pictures of it now. Yeah, I saw this episode. 00:20:09.369 --> 00:20:11.369 Yeah, Loiter Squad's fun. It was like a rap video 00:20:11.369 --> 00:20:14.210 they were making. He was the young N -word, right? 00:20:14.589 --> 00:20:16.970 I thought this was an African -American soldier. 00:20:18.450 --> 00:20:22.710 Is this somewhere else? That's from Adult Swim. 00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:25.160 They did send the Cholos over there to the... 00:20:25.160 --> 00:20:29.539 El Salvador? No. To Afghanistan. He was like, 00:20:29.579 --> 00:20:32.579 I'm just a Cholo. And he was just pop, pop, pop, 00:20:32.660 --> 00:20:35.420 just shooting over there. Really? Yeah, the wrecked 00:20:35.420 --> 00:20:38.460 shot. I don't know if they made it back or not. 00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:42.359 Oh, dude, your people are going at it. Who? Both 00:20:42.359 --> 00:20:44.220 your people, the Pakistanis and the Indians. 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:47.519 The Pakistanis and the Indians, dude. It's always 00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:50.279 got to be somebody I look like since 2001, man. 00:20:50.279 --> 00:20:52.019 I know, right? Can't catch a break. Can't catch 00:20:52.019 --> 00:20:54.119 a break. It's hard when you can be all of them. 00:20:54.440 --> 00:20:58.319 Yeah. I'm scared to go to Mexico, dude. I'm going 00:20:58.319 --> 00:21:00.500 to Mexico in a month. Damn. What if I lose my 00:21:00.500 --> 00:21:04.119 passport? No way they believe me. I'm bigger, 00:21:04.180 --> 00:21:08.569 though. We can vouch for you. We'll be like, 00:21:08.609 --> 00:21:11.430 we know. What would I do? Well, yeah, you guys 00:21:11.430 --> 00:21:15.089 are kind of... I'm laying low. I can't believe... 00:21:15.089 --> 00:21:17.410 I'll vouch for you. I'll write a letter to Trump 00:21:17.410 --> 00:21:19.309 and be like, look, he's one of the good ones. 00:21:19.309 --> 00:21:22.789 Dude, we do a pro -Trump episode if Dom gets 00:21:22.789 --> 00:21:24.750 a hell of a... Oh, what if you go to a Salvador 00:21:24.750 --> 00:21:27.650 Dom? Oh, my God. Alex with the sprout on a MAGA 00:21:27.650 --> 00:21:31.750 hat? That would be so fun. That would be the 00:21:31.750 --> 00:21:34.849 shit. I'd be hardcore MAGA if he got me out of 00:21:34.849 --> 00:21:36.549 that bitch. I didn't know it. Dude, if he parked 00:21:36.549 --> 00:21:40.650 you, I would lose every single moral fiber. Dude, 00:21:40.710 --> 00:21:43.150 I love Donald Trump. Well, first of all, we'd 00:21:43.150 --> 00:21:45.410 have to be because we're on his radar then. Like, 00:21:45.410 --> 00:21:47.869 we kind of got to fucking... Dude, I'd be all 00:21:47.869 --> 00:21:50.269 ears. I'd be saying shit I did not believe. We 00:21:50.269 --> 00:21:52.009 would be on a stream with Aiden Ross. I'd be 00:21:52.009 --> 00:21:54.250 saying a lot of that. Dude, in suits, looking 00:21:54.250 --> 00:21:55.690 like the frattiest fucking... We would get to 00:21:55.690 --> 00:21:59.309 meet Aaron. How sick would that be? You think 00:21:59.309 --> 00:22:02.109 he has a personality or anything? I bet Baron's 00:22:02.109 --> 00:22:04.630 pretty cool. You guys think he's cool? I think 00:22:04.630 --> 00:22:06.269 he can hang. I don't think he's going to be the 00:22:06.269 --> 00:22:09.329 life of the party. I think he'd be a good character 00:22:09.329 --> 00:22:13.450 to have. I couldn't see him here, but if we went 00:22:13.450 --> 00:22:15.490 there, I feel like he'd hang with us for a little 00:22:15.490 --> 00:22:17.529 bit. I think he wants to get out of there with 00:22:17.529 --> 00:22:19.430 all the rich and hang out with normal people. 00:22:20.230 --> 00:22:23.880 He wants to write a movie. About Baron Trump's 00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:27.680 day out. Ooh, that's good. That's good. Baron's 00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:31.700 day off. He takes a Cybertruck and a Ferrari. 00:22:33.059 --> 00:22:35.220 They disguise him like they did in the olden 00:22:35.220 --> 00:22:37.099 days, you know, when the princess wanted to go 00:22:37.099 --> 00:22:39.180 have a good time with the common folk. Yeah. 00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:41.400 And they just threw. We do a makeover. And he 00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:45.259 does look like. He does look like a kid, like 00:22:45.259 --> 00:22:47.779 two kids in a trench coat. Yeah. He does look 00:22:47.779 --> 00:22:50.220 like that. He's 78 feet tall. Yeah, how the fuck 00:22:50.220 --> 00:22:52.420 is he so tall? Because he's tall. Breeding experiment. 00:22:52.980 --> 00:22:55.539 Yeah. Trump's like 6 '3". Breeding. That's still 00:22:55.539 --> 00:22:57.579 tall. And his wife's like 5 '11". Oh, she's tall, 00:22:57.660 --> 00:23:00.200 too. Okay, okay. Eastern Bloc. Yeah, what happened 00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:02.319 to the rest of them? They're probably like 6 00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:03.480 '3", too, though, huh? And they had a different 00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:06.940 mom. I don't know. The others had different moms. 00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:08.680 Trump was still on that code. She weren't a model. 00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:12.220 Oh my god! That picture of him smiling, dude, 00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:17.240 is wild. He looks like Rocky Horror, almost. 00:23:19.880 --> 00:23:23.500 That's a crazy smile. Dude, that's Joffrey. His 00:23:23.500 --> 00:23:25.000 teeth are extremely white. You think they're 00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:28.960 dentures? Already? Just to be perfect? Yeah. 00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:31.819 Oh my god, we have so much to talk about. Dude, 00:23:32.859 --> 00:23:34.579 so much has fucking happened. We have so much 00:23:34.579 --> 00:23:36.700 to talk about, dude. What else happened? I don't 00:23:36.700 --> 00:23:39.319 think we talked about the Kanye song. Which one? 00:23:39.720 --> 00:23:43.400 Oh, my God. Which one? Is it Nigga Hill Hiller? 00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:46.279 I just heard a snippet of it. It's HH, so let's 00:23:46.279 --> 00:23:50.660 be radio friendly. HH? Oh, yeah. It's the radio 00:23:50.660 --> 00:23:53.839 friendly version. I had to process what HH was. 00:23:54.019 --> 00:23:56.599 How much would it have taken you to be one of 00:23:56.599 --> 00:23:58.920 the dancers that sang that? Dude, with the cameras 00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:01.380 just hanging on their face. You wouldn't do it 00:24:01.380 --> 00:24:04.640 for any amount of money? Well, yeah. Dude. First 00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:06.940 of all, it would be hilarious if my life came 00:24:06.940 --> 00:24:09.740 to that. $12 ,000. Guess. Yeah. Yeah, I would 00:24:09.740 --> 00:24:12.160 do it. Guess who co -wrote the album. Who? You 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:15.259 will never guess. It is a rapper. It's a rapper? 00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:18.039 It is a rapper. That's a good guess. No, no. 00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:20.339 It is not Bloody Bongo. Each guess. Each guess. 00:24:20.339 --> 00:24:26.079 Logic. No. That'd be amazing. No. I'll give you 00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:31.319 one. Eminem. Method Man. No, Dave Bluntz. For 00:24:31.319 --> 00:24:34.500 real? Swear to God. Dave Bluntz is credited as 00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:36.799 co -writer on Cuck, which is the album's name, 00:24:36.900 --> 00:24:40.160 by the way. What's wrong? Hey, they got the real 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:43.680 in me, man. Oh, Dave, big fat boy. Yeah, yeah, 00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:46.599 yeah, yeah, yeah. You say pat fat? No, I said 00:24:46.599 --> 00:24:50.859 fat fat, but that's funny. That's funny. I mean, 00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:54.140 I can see that. One of the first clip I saw him, 00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:58.259 he was like, and he was a pedophile. They party 00:24:58.259 --> 00:25:00.859 together. Dave's on the oxygen tank. Kanye's 00:25:00.859 --> 00:25:03.279 on the nitrous tank. Dude, so that, it's all 00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:07.200 funny, except the every verse in each song that's 00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:09.859 about nitrous. That's very sad. It's like he's 00:25:09.859 --> 00:25:12.779 clearly addicted to nitrous. Yeah, somebody needs 00:25:12.779 --> 00:25:14.779 to do what they did with Britney until they let 00:25:14.779 --> 00:25:17.240 her go and see what happened to her. Smacking 00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:21.240 knives on her ass and yachts. But they gotta 00:25:21.240 --> 00:25:24.559 take him in. Like, he's crazy right now. Did 00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:26.180 you hear the Cousins one? How has he not been 00:25:26.180 --> 00:25:30.019 51 -50 yet? Huh? How has he not been 51 -50 yet? 00:25:30.019 --> 00:25:32.519 I don't know. He's a billionaire. He's a billionaire. 00:25:32.519 --> 00:25:34.599 But I feel like they could get him at this point. 00:25:34.880 --> 00:25:37.980 Look what he's saying. He would have to get somebody 00:25:37.980 --> 00:25:39.880 to hurt somebody or something like that. But 00:25:39.880 --> 00:25:42.160 he's been crazy for, like, two decades. Yeah. 00:25:42.180 --> 00:25:44.319 It's just gotten progressively worse. Yeah. And 00:25:44.319 --> 00:25:46.200 then he's doing the Nitro shit, and that shit 00:25:46.200 --> 00:25:50.200 make you dumb, man. Like, did you hear the Cousins 00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:53.400 one? No, I didn't listen to her you did you did 00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:58.359 have a cousin? Bro pull up cousins. We ain't 00:25:58.359 --> 00:26:00.599 gonna put boy. I'll bleep it out. Let's just 00:26:00.599 --> 00:26:04.079 not talk while it's Siling it huh is this dude. 00:26:04.119 --> 00:26:06.599 Yeah, dude. This song is probably the biggest 00:26:06.599 --> 00:26:09.140 in the world right now It's it's insane, but 00:26:09.140 --> 00:26:11.920 it's it, but it's just click. We'll just clear. 00:26:12.019 --> 00:26:14.640 Yeah, it'll be bad audio cuz it's probably copyrighted, 00:26:14.640 --> 00:27:11.880 but I like that it's like a kid's bop. What the 00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:25.460 hell? Yeah, trans man, trans man. That's what 00:27:25.460 --> 00:27:29.700 he was. He's still a genius. Dude, play Last 00:27:29.700 --> 00:27:31.980 Call after this and we'll see how far he's fallen. 00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:34.420 It is horribly sad when you listen to the music 00:27:34.420 --> 00:27:37.019 quality. You ready for Last Call yet? Yeah, you 00:27:37.019 --> 00:27:40.109 can edit. Wow. Now we're going to be able to 00:27:40.109 --> 00:27:41.250 play neither one of them. Yeah, fuck it, fuck 00:27:41.250 --> 00:27:44.710 it, fuck it. God, it's awful. It is good, though. 00:27:44.710 --> 00:27:47.569 God, awful. It is fun. It's a fun song. It's 00:27:47.569 --> 00:27:50.950 a troll. It's a troll. It's a troll. It's a light 00:27:50.950 --> 00:27:53.710 song. That should go viral on TikTok, right? 00:27:53.710 --> 00:27:56.069 It has. Well, I mean, you probably can't play 00:27:56.069 --> 00:27:58.769 it on TikTok. I gave my cousin head the chorus. 00:27:59.430 --> 00:28:02.630 It's every porn video's family member. But I 00:28:02.630 --> 00:28:04.910 don't think on TikTok you can say things. I think 00:28:04.910 --> 00:28:07.089 TikTok specifically. Reels, maybe. Oh, okay. 00:28:07.190 --> 00:28:09.900 It could be fine. I think this is good for the 00:28:09.900 --> 00:28:12.019 culture. I think we need a little bit of a reset. 00:28:12.259 --> 00:28:15.039 White. This is white. That's not good. Did that 00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.160 to Kanye. Yep. And this is the prime example. 00:28:18.579 --> 00:28:20.740 I'm just supporting a black artist. I think you 00:28:20.740 --> 00:28:22.400 guys are being pretty hateful about this whole 00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:24.279 situation. He gave his cousin head. That's not. 00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:29.140 No. He also said hell Hitler. Oh, that too. That's 00:28:29.140 --> 00:28:33.539 secondary. That's secondary. Okay. It's crazy. 00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:36.180 What if it was his female cousin? Female cousin. 00:28:36.299 --> 00:28:39.940 Still not good. But better. No. But better. That's 00:28:39.940 --> 00:28:45.000 exactly. That's exactly. That's crazy. Yeah. 00:28:45.380 --> 00:28:47.900 Which one's crazier, though? Which one is crazier? 00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:51.200 Oh, yeah, he didn't say male head. Huh? Yeah. 00:28:51.819 --> 00:28:55.960 You can give a woman head. No, it was a dude. 00:28:56.180 --> 00:28:58.220 It was a dude. I'm trying to help you, con man. 00:28:58.359 --> 00:29:01.420 I'm trying. Nah, nah. Next album. Next album. 00:29:01.579 --> 00:29:04.960 Are we just listening about a dude getting molested? 00:29:05.240 --> 00:29:08.680 No, I think he was old. They both was either 00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:14.859 the same age or I think he was older. Kanye was 00:29:14.859 --> 00:29:19.680 doing the... I think this is trolled. Well, I 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:21.359 would say that if he wasn't doing everything 00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:25.039 else he's doing. I think this is real. He's trying 00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:29.640 to be maybe a troll, but I think this is just 00:29:29.640 --> 00:29:32.079 a mental crisis. No, it's real. It's absolutely 00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:35.519 real. But he's doing the song to be a troll. 00:29:36.659 --> 00:29:38.240 He didn't have to tell nobody. He didn't have 00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:39.720 to tell anybody about this. It is funny that 00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:42.019 he was like, people told me to take this to the 00:29:42.019 --> 00:29:45.240 grave. Now 400 million people have heard this. 00:29:46.039 --> 00:29:47.839 I mean, you ain't got to tell everybody everything. 00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:52.660 He's already said everything else. He might as 00:29:52.660 --> 00:29:55.460 well just run it into the ground as far as possible. 00:29:55.619 --> 00:29:59.559 He has the platform to do something nobody else 00:29:59.559 --> 00:30:03.299 can do right now. He could just. I don't know. 00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:05.920 We hear jokes about comedians who jokes about, 00:30:06.019 --> 00:30:10.480 oh, what if OnlyFans model has a kid? And it's 00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:15.440 like, fucking this is the real. OnlyFans model's 00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:17.599 fine compared to this kind of fucking. This dude 00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:22.299 went to the core of the earth. He didn't just 00:30:22.299 --> 00:30:28.039 dig a hole. Oh, shit. Damn. You got deep. He 00:30:28.039 --> 00:30:31.539 passed the lava, everything. We're talking about 00:30:31.539 --> 00:30:34.220 the core of the earth. Yes. Passed all of that. 00:30:34.500 --> 00:30:37.359 Damn. That's where he should have buried it. 00:30:37.619 --> 00:30:40.079 Man, yeah. Should have stopped a long time ago. 00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:45.460 Man, we learned something new. Yep. What did 00:30:45.460 --> 00:30:47.519 you learn today? We learned that he likes his 00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:51.180 guy cousin. Well, no, he said he didn't like 00:30:51.180 --> 00:30:53.059 it in the song. Oh, he didn't like it, so he 00:30:53.059 --> 00:30:55.460 just did it to do it. For the love of the game. 00:30:55.579 --> 00:30:58.480 Yeah. That's not it. I don't know what game we're 00:30:58.480 --> 00:31:07.480 even playing. What game is this? I wish I could 00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:13.779 go back to September 10th, 2001, so I could warn 00:31:13.779 --> 00:31:18.160 people about Kanye. Okay, wow. Can you imagine 00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:21.279 those people's lives? Like, one day, this crazy 00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:24.059 lunatic warns them about Kanye, and the next 00:31:24.059 --> 00:31:28.109 day, the World Trade Center's fall. Like, those 00:31:28.109 --> 00:31:30.190 people would kill themselves. Like, what the 00:31:30.190 --> 00:31:31.930 fuck? What would they ask and be like, is there 00:31:31.930 --> 00:31:33.609 anything else that's going to happen? Are you 00:31:33.609 --> 00:31:36.970 going to say anything else? What other facts 00:31:36.970 --> 00:31:41.690 would you drop on them? Gays can marry. Okay, 00:31:42.150 --> 00:31:45.589 yeah, that'd be fun. I would love to tell them 00:31:45.589 --> 00:31:49.210 about Bruce transitioning into Caitlin. That'd 00:31:49.210 --> 00:31:51.529 be pretty good. Like, the guy that just won the 00:31:51.529 --> 00:31:54.400 gold medal? Yeah. They wouldn't believe that. 00:31:54.740 --> 00:32:00.359 Bruce doing that, Kanye. Bill Cosby. Cosby's 00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:02.299 going to rock their fucking world, dude. Well, 00:32:02.359 --> 00:32:04.220 they got other things to deal with. Let them 00:32:04.220 --> 00:32:06.180 get one tragedy at a time. Wait, so what if I 00:32:06.180 --> 00:32:08.180 told you I got to go to my job at the World Trade 00:32:08.180 --> 00:32:11.660 Center tomorrow? Would you warn me then? I'd 00:32:11.660 --> 00:32:12.779 be like, what floor? I wouldn't put you out of 00:32:12.779 --> 00:32:14.700 commission, but I wouldn't tell you. I would 00:32:14.700 --> 00:32:16.119 just make it to where you couldn't go to work 00:32:16.119 --> 00:32:18.039 tomorrow. Oh, okay. And I'd be like, what floor? 00:32:18.680 --> 00:32:22.900 Yeah, what floor? Like, bottom ten? I bet I'd 00:32:22.900 --> 00:32:24.420 be slick about it. I'd be like, man, I get a 00:32:24.420 --> 00:32:26.900 lot of flights. You got to walk up then, right? 00:32:27.140 --> 00:32:28.839 I'm cleaning the roof. How close are you to the 00:32:28.839 --> 00:32:35.420 roof? You're the roof cleaner of the World Trade 00:32:35.420 --> 00:32:40.599 Center. I don't know if you'd know what was happening. 00:32:40.759 --> 00:32:43.599 The window guy. I mean, the worst job ever. Good 00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:47.160 God. Do you see a plane coming at you? You already 00:32:47.160 --> 00:32:49.119 don't want to be there. And then he starts wiping. 00:32:50.439 --> 00:32:58.039 Damn, start wiping harder. Wipe it faster. Tomorrow's 00:32:58.039 --> 00:33:00.420 going to be so fucking terrible. It's going to 00:33:00.420 --> 00:33:03.180 be a mess tomorrow. We'll think of a clever line. 00:33:04.420 --> 00:33:06.259 Do you think the world's ready for a World Trade 00:33:06.259 --> 00:33:11.109 Center comedy? At this point, fuck it, right? 00:33:11.450 --> 00:33:16.490 Dude, if you just make a comedy. Airplane 2 is 00:33:16.490 --> 00:33:21.710 actually crazy. JJ, you might have just stopped 00:33:21.710 --> 00:33:24.670 the pod. We're fucking writing this. Brandon, 00:33:24.690 --> 00:33:34.690 start typing. Oh, fuck. Dude, we were talking 00:33:34.690 --> 00:33:37.349 about this on Saturday. Would you... It's crazy 00:33:37.349 --> 00:33:38.849 we're talking about 9 -11 right now. We were 00:33:38.849 --> 00:33:41.029 talking about it on Saturday. And it was, would 00:33:41.029 --> 00:33:45.450 you guys... We know Pat, so we'll put a picture 00:33:45.450 --> 00:33:48.509 of him up here. Would you eat Pat's asshole? 00:33:48.690 --> 00:33:50.210 That was the only way you could... And they would 00:33:50.210 --> 00:33:52.130 go back in time and save everybody in 9 -11. 00:33:52.849 --> 00:33:57.089 I'm sorry. Would you eat Pat's asshole to save 00:33:57.089 --> 00:33:58.509 2 ,000 people? Why do I have to eat his ass? 00:33:58.809 --> 00:34:01.690 It's just the magic in this universe. Yeah, in 00:34:01.690 --> 00:34:04.069 this universe, that's what happens. That's sad! 00:34:04.589 --> 00:34:07.750 That is sad that it's come to this. Eating patch 00:34:07.750 --> 00:34:13.150 ass is 2 ,998 calories. I had a calorie a person, 00:34:13.269 --> 00:34:16.829 dude. Jesus Christ, that's so funny. So, Brandon, 00:34:16.829 --> 00:34:20.670 you? This is crazy. Yes and no. Can I pretend? 00:34:21.329 --> 00:34:23.570 No, you got to get up in there. And no prep. 00:34:23.570 --> 00:34:25.590 He gets no prep. Somebody got to sit there and 00:34:25.590 --> 00:34:29.550 watch me do it? Yeah. It's like a seasoned grill. 00:34:30.590 --> 00:34:35.420 You would have to, right? What would happen if 00:34:35.420 --> 00:34:37.719 9 -11 never happened? Would society be better? 00:34:37.820 --> 00:34:41.280 What if the world's worse? What if he eats his 00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:44.280 ass? I'm not eating that ass. I like this world 00:34:44.280 --> 00:34:49.820 now. Thank you, man. That's a good logic. He 00:34:49.820 --> 00:34:52.840 just didn't want to do it. You kind of jumped 00:34:52.840 --> 00:34:54.440 at that one. Oh, my God. You could have played 00:34:54.440 --> 00:34:56.780 it off better. Nah, man, we're going to eat this 00:34:56.780 --> 00:34:58.579 ass and see what happens. Is it guaranteed the 00:34:58.579 --> 00:35:00.820 world will be a better place? No. No, just guarantee 00:35:00.820 --> 00:35:03.679 that 9 -11 didn't happen. And that, to me, seems 00:35:03.679 --> 00:35:06.260 like a genie. That's a genie playing a trick 00:35:06.260 --> 00:35:08.960 on me. You never know what could happen. But, 00:35:08.980 --> 00:35:10.380 dude, the airports would have been way better. 00:35:10.380 --> 00:35:14.219 It just happens the next day. It just turns into 00:35:14.219 --> 00:35:18.159 9 -12. And Pat's just like... And they're like, 00:35:18.260 --> 00:35:21.440 let's go celebrate. Remember that time you ate 00:35:21.440 --> 00:35:26.019 my ass to stop 9 -11? Simon. I'll bleep that. 00:35:27.159 --> 00:35:29.539 You know how we could prevent? We could have 00:35:29.539 --> 00:35:32.019 prevented 9 -11 by putting Pat's shoes in front 00:35:32.019 --> 00:35:37.820 of the building. Dude, the tongues alone are 00:35:37.820 --> 00:35:42.360 fucking deflecting fucking blades. What did he 00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:45.099 say, like riot shields? His tongues look like 00:35:45.099 --> 00:35:49.280 riot shields. That's a crazy roast. Oh, Lord. 00:35:50.199 --> 00:35:52.219 I like it because of the racial implications. 00:35:54.539 --> 00:35:57.920 Yeah, I don't know. I would not eat Pat's ass 00:35:57.920 --> 00:36:00.960 if it wasn't guaranteed. Well, it's guaranteed 00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:03.500 that 9 -11 won't happen. Yeah, so you saved 2 00:36:03.500 --> 00:36:06.739 ,000 -something people that day. Who the fuck 00:36:06.739 --> 00:36:08.920 knows? You don't know. Yeah, that's what the 00:36:08.920 --> 00:36:10.860 world is. That's the thing. Yeah, what if they 00:36:10.860 --> 00:36:12.519 were all Hitlers? Well, first of all, there would 00:36:12.519 --> 00:36:14.539 be no Twilight, right? Was that the one that 00:36:14.539 --> 00:36:17.019 was based, like, 9 -11 inspired the lady to write 00:36:17.019 --> 00:36:18.699 it? It was either that or Fifty Shades of Grey. 00:36:18.900 --> 00:36:20.199 Who gives a fuck? So we wouldn't have one of 00:36:20.199 --> 00:36:24.619 those. Yeah. You don't think 2 ,000 people had 00:36:24.619 --> 00:36:27.460 jobs to work on those movies? That's true. Man. 00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:31.840 Is a job worth a life? He'll find another one. 00:36:32.119 --> 00:36:34.300 Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. I 00:36:34.300 --> 00:36:38.260 mean, can I do it like halfway and then just 00:36:38.260 --> 00:36:40.519 one of them? What is halfway? What do you want 00:36:40.519 --> 00:36:42.900 to do halfway? What's halfway, dude? Just one 00:36:42.900 --> 00:36:45.539 half of the ass. Oh, dude. How do you think eating 00:36:45.539 --> 00:36:48.699 ass works? Well, I would just focus on that half. 00:36:49.400 --> 00:36:51.320 First of all, are you laying him on his side? 00:36:51.340 --> 00:36:52.519 What are you talking about? Like half of what? 00:36:52.559 --> 00:36:54.679 Is he on his back? Are you talking about half 00:36:54.679 --> 00:36:57.159 of an asshole? Yeah. You talking about biting 00:36:57.159 --> 00:37:02.699 his ass? Are you talking about chewing this dude's 00:37:02.699 --> 00:37:06.760 ass? Well, you got to eat it, bro. No, not eating, 00:37:08.519 --> 00:37:11.559 like chewing. Yeah, what would you do to it? 00:37:11.659 --> 00:37:14.860 How would you do it? Eating his ass? I thought 00:37:14.860 --> 00:37:17.840 that you guys talked about life. Explain this 00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:19.980 the normal way. The normal way, somebody will 00:37:19.980 --> 00:37:22.840 clean it out. Then you open it and just go on 00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:27.639 in there. It's kind of like I guess eating old 00:37:27.639 --> 00:37:30.380 cat if you know what I mean. But in a reverse 00:37:30.380 --> 00:37:34.159 way. You're going in that ass. Do you go circles 00:37:34.159 --> 00:37:37.280 or you go up and down on the ass? You got to 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:38.719 go up and down, right? You got to go up and down. 00:37:39.940 --> 00:37:43.710 What's this? This is crazy. I don't know what 00:37:43.710 --> 00:37:51.050 the meta is right now. This is crazy. It's just 00:37:51.050 --> 00:37:54.690 like the kitchen, am I right? Can't cross -contaminate. 00:37:55.190 --> 00:37:59.429 Yep, you can't. Yeast infection. But you can 00:37:59.429 --> 00:38:01.940 go one back. You can go back that way. You can 00:38:01.940 --> 00:38:05.219 go pussy to ass. Yeah. But you can't, shouldn't 00:38:05.219 --> 00:38:06.980 go ass to pussy. Well, it depends on what's going 00:38:06.980 --> 00:38:08.920 down. Yeah, I mean, if y 'all are nasty. Yeah, 00:38:08.920 --> 00:38:10.480 yeah. Sometimes you're spitting the mouth out. 00:38:10.599 --> 00:38:12.659 I don't like that. No, the mouth's fine. I like 00:38:12.659 --> 00:38:15.760 that. That's a final destination. You don't like 00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:17.880 kissing? I was kidding. You don't like kissing 00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:21.170 him after? After you. What the hell? After she 00:38:21.170 --> 00:38:22.769 eats your ass. You don't like that thing? Oh, 00:38:22.809 --> 00:38:24.869 not the ass necessarily. I've never gotten my 00:38:24.869 --> 00:38:27.150 ass. Oh, yeah. I was talking about the ass, though. 00:38:27.389 --> 00:38:31.090 I mean, I would. I would. No chance I'm ever 00:38:31.090 --> 00:38:32.449 kissing her again. First of all, she's going 00:38:32.449 --> 00:38:33.949 to smile and blood's going to come out of her 00:38:33.949 --> 00:38:37.090 mouth. It's going to look like Carrie. She's 00:38:37.090 --> 00:38:42.929 a black eye and everyone gave her a fucking black 00:38:42.929 --> 00:38:48.610 eye. Her eyebrows and eyelashes have disintegrated 00:38:48.610 --> 00:38:51.530 off of her face. She looks like Matthew Tate. 00:38:52.090 --> 00:39:02.329 Oh, shit. Damn. Dropping bars. Tales from the 00:39:02.329 --> 00:39:08.889 Crypt. Hey, shout out. Shout out. Oh, my God. 00:39:10.889 --> 00:39:13.030 How do you feel about that? How do I feel about 00:39:13.030 --> 00:39:15.739 what? Ass eating? What are we talking about? 00:39:15.940 --> 00:39:19.219 Well, you already explained how to do it. Yeah. 00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:22.280 And you bet your ass I imagined Pat in front 00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:24.000 of you. Yeah, that's what I think we all were 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:27.500 imagining. The logistics are different with Pat. 00:39:28.119 --> 00:39:30.519 Well, you got to think about positioning. Well, 00:39:30.659 --> 00:39:32.780 I mean, once he's in it, he's in whatever position. 00:39:33.099 --> 00:39:34.780 No, but you still got to hold it open. There's 00:39:34.780 --> 00:39:37.159 going to be breaks. Pat's going to need breaks. 00:39:38.449 --> 00:39:41.409 Brakes? Unless there's a device holding him open. 00:39:41.530 --> 00:39:43.409 Oh, this is bad. What do you mean, brakes? He's 00:39:43.409 --> 00:39:45.769 going to need a brake. If he's, like, if he's 00:39:45.769 --> 00:39:48.869 exerting... Oh, he's going to need a brake. He's 00:39:48.869 --> 00:39:50.250 going to need brakes. Snack brake, man. This 00:39:50.250 --> 00:39:52.630 is crazy to talk about. Yeah, this is wild. This 00:39:52.630 --> 00:39:54.590 is, like, just hearing it. Brandon's going to 00:39:54.590 --> 00:39:56.489 be spraying water in his face. Brandon's not 00:39:56.489 --> 00:39:59.070 going to be there. He's like, you got this. You 00:39:59.070 --> 00:40:02.219 got to dig deep. Oh, no. No, that's his own adventure. 00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:07.760 I'm good. I already said it. Hey, I'm sorry. 00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:11.599 No. No, no. Brandon, what if there was like a 00:40:11.599 --> 00:40:14.139 one in three chance you had to eat Pat's ass, 00:40:14.219 --> 00:40:16.099 but the other two chances were that you got $10 00:40:16.099 --> 00:40:19.260 million? Ooh, that's good. You just press a button, 00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:22.260 and it's like a slot machine. It just goes beep, 00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:24.760 beep, beep, and it gets won. Wait, if I eat the 00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:29.900 ass, do I get another attempt? Because if I don't, 00:40:29.900 --> 00:40:31.960 I'm never pressing that fucking button. If this 00:40:31.960 --> 00:40:34.679 is a MrBeast video, you could do it again, but 00:40:34.679 --> 00:40:37.219 then you would have to, like, I don't know, do 00:40:37.219 --> 00:40:39.420 something as a consolation to, like, earn it. 00:40:39.579 --> 00:40:43.420 Well, no, I'm fine with, I like just, I just, 00:40:43.559 --> 00:40:46.699 if I land on eat ass, I get to spin again, but 00:40:46.699 --> 00:40:49.519 I have to eat ass. But I get to spin again. No. 00:40:49.949 --> 00:40:52.550 Why? Because then the question would just be, 00:40:52.610 --> 00:40:55.349 would you eat Pat's ass? Or how many times would 00:40:55.349 --> 00:40:58.409 you reasonably eat it before you got the money? 00:40:58.409 --> 00:41:01.289 Would you go back for seconds? Did you get 20 00:41:01.289 --> 00:41:04.030 if you went back for seconds? No, after you win 00:41:04.030 --> 00:41:08.630 the money, no. What if after the shit, Pat cleans 00:41:08.630 --> 00:41:12.489 his ass how he just normally does? But it's up 00:41:12.489 --> 00:41:17.909 to 15 million. Oh, God. Would you do it, though? 00:41:18.159 --> 00:41:20.739 Would you hit the button? Again, only if I get 00:41:20.739 --> 00:41:23.980 the spin again. One and three. You said you wouldn't 00:41:23.980 --> 00:41:26.639 do it. But if you get it on the first try, you 00:41:26.639 --> 00:41:28.860 get a power -up. So you can either get one baby 00:41:28.860 --> 00:41:32.539 wipe or five seconds of a bidet. It doesn't matter. 00:41:32.739 --> 00:41:34.699 It doesn't matter. This is going to be what Dante 00:41:34.699 --> 00:41:38.019 say, wet shitty ass. That's what it's going to 00:41:38.019 --> 00:41:40.800 be. You wouldn't do it. Because, dude, those 00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:43.960 things are set for you to fail. It's literally 00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:46.760 one out of three, dude. It's just literally one 00:41:46.760 --> 00:41:49.639 out of three, man. The house always wins. Brandon 00:41:49.639 --> 00:41:54.000 is right. I'm like, dude. Okay, so if you win, 00:41:54.159 --> 00:41:57.159 you got life -changing generational money. But 00:41:57.159 --> 00:41:59.519 if you lose, you just have to fucking... A face 00:41:59.519 --> 00:42:03.599 full of ass with dirt in it. Think about eating 00:42:03.599 --> 00:42:06.369 ass. That's not that bad. Eating past ass. You 00:42:06.369 --> 00:42:08.510 probably, it wouldn't be mostly flesh. I feel 00:42:08.510 --> 00:42:10.250 like it'd be like eating cotton candy. Well, 00:42:10.250 --> 00:42:15.030 can I eat? No, man. Stop. Let's retire. That's 00:42:15.030 --> 00:42:18.369 it. That's it. That's a wrap. Now, I'm sorry, 00:42:18.489 --> 00:42:21.429 Pat. I know he's seeing this. I can't get it 00:42:21.429 --> 00:42:24.769 out of my head. I don't like it here. Now we're 00:42:24.769 --> 00:42:26.690 going to have nightmares. Salty cotton candy. 00:42:26.969 --> 00:42:30.940 That's the worst. That's the worst. This was 00:42:30.940 --> 00:42:34.219 not my idea. You guys took it here? I'm just 00:42:34.219 --> 00:42:36.119 going with it. I looked at Brandon and said, 00:42:36.179 --> 00:42:39.059 I think I made a mistake. Oh, my God. That hurt. 00:42:39.239 --> 00:42:41.380 That last one hurt. We talked about it. It hurt 00:42:41.380 --> 00:42:45.599 my brain. I don't want to think. Brandon, what 00:42:45.599 --> 00:42:48.179 you talking about? What was I talking about? 00:42:48.239 --> 00:42:51.760 I forgot. Alex, what'd you say? What I've been 00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:54.679 up to. Oh, I've been watching, I've been seeing, 00:42:54.760 --> 00:42:57.420 you watch The Last of Us, any of you? Nope. No? 00:42:57.619 --> 00:43:00.119 Only Dom? I've watched the first season. I haven't 00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:01.840 caught up on the second one yet. It's a video 00:43:01.840 --> 00:43:04.039 game show, zombies and shit. Mushroom zombies. 00:43:04.039 --> 00:43:06.179 Y 'all had to play the game, right? No, I haven't 00:43:06.179 --> 00:43:07.900 played the game. I didn't play it, but I watched 00:43:07.900 --> 00:43:11.340 a playthrough on YouTube. I check it out. I like 00:43:11.340 --> 00:43:13.340 the story. I don't care to play it myself. A 00:43:13.340 --> 00:43:15.079 lot of stuff in there. You should watch the show. 00:43:15.079 --> 00:43:17.829 You might like this show. Drew? I never thought 00:43:17.829 --> 00:43:20.369 about that. I heard there's gays. I heard about 00:43:20.369 --> 00:43:22.289 that, too. I was like, JJ's not watching it because 00:43:22.289 --> 00:43:23.449 they changed that one bit. Me and Brandon are 00:43:23.449 --> 00:43:24.690 boycotting the show, dude. I heard about that. 00:43:24.969 --> 00:43:28.250 Or you mean woman -cotting. Look. You would never 00:43:28.250 --> 00:43:32.010 boycott. True. I'm trans -cotting the show. Oh, 00:43:32.010 --> 00:43:36.590 nice. But the gays in the first one, it's one 00:43:36.590 --> 00:43:38.690 of the most beautiful love stories. I swear to 00:43:38.690 --> 00:43:42.090 God. It's magical. It's like you get the same 00:43:42.090 --> 00:43:47.619 feeling as when Spider -Man died. Infinity War. 00:43:47.880 --> 00:43:53.199 Hard? I didn't see Infinity War. Wait, what? 00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:57.539 I don't know. It's like Spider -Man. That's what's 00:43:57.539 --> 00:44:00.019 up. Okay, what's a movie that... You remember 00:44:00.019 --> 00:44:01.659 Free Willy? Y 'all never seen it. No, I've never 00:44:01.659 --> 00:44:05.400 seen it. What's an emotional movie that you watch 00:44:05.400 --> 00:44:06.980 and you're like, it almost got you to tear up 00:44:06.980 --> 00:44:08.559 or it got you to tear up? The Boy in the Striped 00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:11.239 Pajamas. There you go, like that. I haven't seen 00:44:11.239 --> 00:44:13.699 that one. Let me think. I just saw it. Yeah. 00:44:15.219 --> 00:44:18.059 We should want you never sniffled in a movie. 00:44:18.139 --> 00:44:20.079 No, I have I'm just trying to think of a good 00:44:20.079 --> 00:44:26.360 one Garfield I Guess I just saw gladiator 2 and 00:44:26.360 --> 00:44:30.579 then when they like don't know I haven't seen 00:44:30.579 --> 00:44:33.340 it yet. Don't spoil We just bought a movie for 00:44:33.340 --> 00:44:35.960 at least the episode earlier. Sorry about that 00:44:35.960 --> 00:44:45.440 Amazing Yeah, so that. Yeah, there we go. It 00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:48.820 makes you feel like that. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah. 00:44:48.900 --> 00:44:50.460 You should watch it, Brandon. I'll check it out. 00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:51.639 It might make you like him more because he's 00:44:51.639 --> 00:44:53.039 like regular people. I mean, I'm cool with everybody. 00:44:55.400 --> 00:44:57.800 I'm just kidding out there. Brandon's not homophobic. 00:44:57.880 --> 00:45:00.260 It's a zombie apocalypse. Yeah. Your options 00:45:00.260 --> 00:45:06.699 are limited. Okay. Would you fuck a man, human, 00:45:06.820 --> 00:45:10.760 or a female zombie? Female zombie. Would you 00:45:10.760 --> 00:45:13.539 turn into a zombie? I mean, neither. You don't 00:45:13.539 --> 00:45:15.860 stop saying neither. You got two choices. I got 00:45:15.860 --> 00:45:21.500 to pick one. I guess female zombie. He'll become 00:45:21.500 --> 00:45:26.699 a zombie boy. That's crazy. That's so funny. 00:45:26.940 --> 00:45:29.739 Oh, I got to pick one. The female one. The one 00:45:29.739 --> 00:45:35.199 with the rotting flesh. Hey, pussy's pussy. And 00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:37.760 is this just you have to do it? Is there a prize 00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:40.260 for this one? There's no money? Or you'll die. 00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:42.539 Okay. Well, I guess you die if you're... Yeah, 00:45:42.619 --> 00:45:44.920 I have you at gunpoint. Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah. 00:45:45.099 --> 00:45:48.059 I guess the dude, then. Yeah. I don't want to... 00:45:48.059 --> 00:45:50.480 The zombie would probably smell really bad. And 00:45:50.480 --> 00:45:52.639 you're probably going to turn into a zombie if 00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:55.099 you fuck a zombie. It's an STD. What if you have 00:45:55.099 --> 00:45:59.179 a kid? What? Oh, that's like in 28 Weeks Later. 00:46:00.579 --> 00:46:05.340 Is that what that movie's about? The second one. 00:46:05.440 --> 00:46:08.699 It's a trimester? The second one, yeah. I haven't 00:46:08.699 --> 00:46:10.920 seen it. Oh, 28 years later coming out soon. 00:46:11.079 --> 00:46:12.460 Yeah, I can't wait to see that. You've seen the 00:46:12.460 --> 00:46:14.619 first one 28 days later? Back in the day. I mean, 00:46:14.639 --> 00:46:16.519 we'll watch it again. Yeah, because they didn't 00:46:16.519 --> 00:46:19.119 fucking have it out on anything for like 15 years 00:46:19.119 --> 00:46:21.500 or something like that. Like streaming -wise. 00:46:21.619 --> 00:46:22.980 Or written it. You just had to have a DVD or 00:46:22.980 --> 00:46:25.039 something? Yeah, if you had the old DVD, yeah. 00:46:25.519 --> 00:46:28.199 But then they re -released it. Yeah, it was days, 00:46:28.300 --> 00:46:31.260 years, or wait, days, weeks, then years. What's 00:46:31.260 --> 00:46:33.440 old buddy's name? Cillian Murphy. Yeah, Cillian. 00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:36.769 Good. killian murphy is this just like a zombie 00:46:36.769 --> 00:46:40.530 apocalypse yeah in england yeah but it's like 00:46:40.530 --> 00:46:42.809 one of the best it's this one's good if the second 00:46:42.809 --> 00:46:45.530 one's it's all right but uh i just get so frustrated 00:46:45.530 --> 00:46:48.260 with kids man i just like Y 'all sit your little 00:46:48.260 --> 00:46:50.420 asses down somewhere. It's a fucking zombie apocalypse 00:46:50.420 --> 00:46:52.179 out there. Oh, I want to go ride my bike. Shut 00:46:52.179 --> 00:46:53.880 the fuck up. Yeah, I agree with that. What are 00:46:53.880 --> 00:46:55.420 you talking about? I'll break your legs. I agree 00:46:55.420 --> 00:46:58.139 with that. God. That's why you got to beat these 00:46:58.139 --> 00:46:59.559 kids. I bet their parents weren't beating them. 00:46:59.599 --> 00:47:01.000 I agree. They weren't beating them. I agree. 00:47:01.239 --> 00:47:02.659 Brandon, you wouldn't have ran out there. No, 00:47:02.679 --> 00:47:03.360 I wouldn't have ran out there. And you got your 00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:05.679 ass beat many a time. Yes, I did. Ladies and 00:47:05.679 --> 00:47:13.599 gentlemen, the cycle continues. I do. Hey. I'm 00:47:13.599 --> 00:47:17.130 glad we were. Yeah. I'm ready to get riled up 00:47:17.130 --> 00:47:18.989 about that. Oh, yeah, I agree, man. There's a 00:47:18.989 --> 00:47:22.030 lot of people out here. Don't get that. Are you 00:47:22.030 --> 00:47:23.329 going to whoop your kids when you have them? 00:47:23.829 --> 00:47:26.530 I hope I don't have them. Not that you don't 00:47:26.530 --> 00:47:28.710 want to have kids. Not anytime soon. Yeah, yeah, 00:47:28.730 --> 00:47:30.789 but I'm just saying eventually. I mean, it depends. 00:47:31.030 --> 00:47:33.769 When you're 45. What are they doing? What's the, 00:47:33.929 --> 00:47:35.690 what, how are they acting up? They just fuck? 00:47:35.829 --> 00:47:37.889 No. Jesus Christ. I'm going to give them a bottle 00:47:37.889 --> 00:47:46.429 of nitrous. Not with each other. No. They did 00:47:46.429 --> 00:47:49.409 something. They did something. Okay, they wrecked 00:47:49.409 --> 00:47:52.289 your car. They're 12 years old. They stole your 00:47:52.289 --> 00:47:56.150 car, and they wrecked it. Or how about a hole, 00:47:56.269 --> 00:47:59.570 burned a hole in your car, a big -ass hole? Wreck 00:47:59.570 --> 00:48:01.769 the car seems, I would be the case for that. 00:48:02.130 --> 00:48:04.190 Yeah, that's what I'm saying, a big thing. Burnt 00:48:04.190 --> 00:48:05.969 the hole, something that you told them not to 00:48:05.969 --> 00:48:08.010 do, and then they did it. Yeah, you have to get 00:48:08.010 --> 00:48:10.320 hit for that. Like something that major you have 00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:12.639 to hit. I'd call the police. That's when gentle 00:48:12.639 --> 00:48:14.980 parenting goes out the window. Yeah. You stealing 00:48:14.980 --> 00:48:16.679 cars, you get your ass whooped. I'd put him in 00:48:16.679 --> 00:48:20.000 the system. I'd be like a Dr. Phil parent, dude. 00:48:20.719 --> 00:48:23.360 I don't know what I did wrong. I can just imagine, 00:48:23.559 --> 00:48:25.739 like, dropping him off and, like, seeing another 00:48:25.739 --> 00:48:27.559 inmate and just whispering to him, I won't press 00:48:27.559 --> 00:48:31.159 charges. Damn. Good God. Beat his fucking ass. 00:48:31.320 --> 00:48:33.960 Well, don't, you know. Don't touch him. Yeah. 00:48:34.099 --> 00:48:37.429 Just beat him. Just hurt him. Hit him with a 00:48:37.429 --> 00:48:40.030 pipe. No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Not that 00:48:40.030 --> 00:48:44.929 pipe. He just comes back. He's a white supremacist 00:48:44.929 --> 00:48:47.510 now. He's just in the pecker woods or whatever. 00:48:47.809 --> 00:48:50.150 He looks like Harry Potter in that one movie. 00:48:50.989 --> 00:48:57.070 What are you screaming? Oh, dude. I love when 00:48:57.070 --> 00:49:01.730 straight actors go to a racist role. That's where 00:49:01.730 --> 00:49:04.610 you know if they got chops. Adam Driver, Daniel 00:49:04.610 --> 00:49:08.429 Radcliffe. Leo. Leo. Some people just take more 00:49:08.429 --> 00:49:10.650 naturally to it than others. Yeah. The whites. 00:49:11.989 --> 00:49:14.190 Dude, did you guys see that? Somebody was like, 00:49:14.329 --> 00:49:16.809 they were like trying to bring Harvey Weinstein 00:49:16.809 --> 00:49:18.889 back because they said it's not enough good looking 00:49:18.889 --> 00:49:22.590 actresses in Hollywood now. They were like, Harvey 00:49:22.590 --> 00:49:24.869 would have never let this happen. Damn. But sometimes 00:49:24.869 --> 00:49:26.730 it's like. Like, they were talking about The 00:49:26.730 --> 00:49:28.889 Last of Us, right? First of all, the girl in 00:49:28.889 --> 00:49:31.090 there, the girl from there is fucking from Game 00:49:31.090 --> 00:49:33.610 of Thrones. She was a badass. And then, like, 00:49:33.750 --> 00:49:36.269 they're like, she's not even hot. I'm like, this 00:49:36.269 --> 00:49:38.150 is supposed to be a kid. The girl that plays 00:49:38.150 --> 00:49:39.670 that, that's what I was about to say. Isn't she, 00:49:39.670 --> 00:49:43.329 like, 16 years old or something? Yeah. I played 00:49:43.329 --> 00:49:46.269 the game for, like, 30 minutes. And when watching 00:49:46.269 --> 00:49:48.869 the first, it's a fucking kid. So you're like, 00:49:48.969 --> 00:49:52.250 she's not hot? That's their argument. That's 00:49:52.250 --> 00:49:56.219 sad. It's not good. Jesus. I don't think he's 00:49:56.219 --> 00:50:01.760 hot either. Speaking of that, did you see Kevin 00:50:01.760 --> 00:50:04.079 Spacey's back on the movie? Oh, shit. What's 00:50:04.079 --> 00:50:06.659 the movie? I bet it'll be good. Let me see. 17. 00:50:06.760 --> 00:50:10.480 He's a monster of an actor. 17? What? Let me 00:50:10.480 --> 00:50:13.840 see Kevin Spacey. Oh, is this about the French 00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:16.219 Revolution? Yeah, it's like around that time. 00:50:16.559 --> 00:50:22.159 Oh, when it was legal. 1780. 14 -year -old. That 00:50:22.159 --> 00:50:23.920 was the... Yeah, and he's like some country dude. 00:50:24.409 --> 00:50:29.710 See? He looks goopy. He looks like Joe Exotic 00:50:29.710 --> 00:50:34.409 to Grandpa. Why did he pick this role to come 00:50:34.409 --> 00:50:36.789 back on? Well, he was in another movie that made 00:50:36.789 --> 00:50:39.670 literally like $400 because only like two theaters 00:50:39.670 --> 00:50:42.630 released it type shit. Yeah. He was a great actor. 00:50:42.809 --> 00:50:45.809 I love historical thrillers. Such an underrated 00:50:45.809 --> 00:50:52.769 genre, dude. Yeah, go back to All and go to Revolutionary. 00:50:56.549 --> 00:50:58.710 Gore. Revolutionary Gore. He's playing Gore Vidal? 00:50:59.090 --> 00:51:01.730 Isn't he also another sex defender? Or am I being 00:51:01.730 --> 00:51:03.710 goofy? Wait, let's see who Gore Vidal is. Life 00:51:03.710 --> 00:51:07.409 imitates art. Let me search it up. I might be... 00:51:07.409 --> 00:51:11.289 Is he a sex... Is Spacey a sex defender? He touched 00:51:11.289 --> 00:51:14.809 a boy, right? He did? He's been civilly convicted. 00:51:14.989 --> 00:51:16.809 Oh, okay. I don't think criminally because it's 00:51:16.809 --> 00:51:19.409 like beyond... Okay, click on his Wikipedia. 00:51:19.550 --> 00:51:22.050 Holy shit, this dude right there says sexual 00:51:22.050 --> 00:51:24.630 stuff. No, it don't for real? I don't know. Where 00:51:24.630 --> 00:51:27.369 is it at? His novels and essays interrogated 00:51:27.369 --> 00:51:31.150 the social and sexual norms he perceived as driving 00:51:31.150 --> 00:51:36.889 a narrow American life. Go down to, let's see, 00:51:36.989 --> 00:51:40.469 views, politics. Sexuality, personal life. Yeah, 00:51:40.489 --> 00:51:43.869 go down to personal life. Rape case. Where? The 00:51:43.869 --> 00:51:47.360 first one. Holy shit. Okay. Oh, with the Polanski? 00:51:47.460 --> 00:51:49.619 Dude. Oh, no. Roman Polanski? Is that Roman? 00:51:49.699 --> 00:51:51.780 Yep. What'd he do with Polanski? Oh, God. This 00:51:51.780 --> 00:51:55.920 is newer. Vidal spoke about topical and cultural 00:51:55.920 --> 00:52:00.780 matters. The rest of Roman Polanski in Switzerland 00:52:00.780 --> 00:52:05.250 in September responded... Anti -Semitism. I don't 00:52:05.250 --> 00:52:07.650 really give a fuck. Look, I'm going to sit and 00:52:07.650 --> 00:52:10.090 weep every time a young hooker feels as though 00:52:10.090 --> 00:52:14.630 she's been taken advantage of. Oh, no. And that 00:52:14.630 --> 00:52:21.289 was in 2009. You should never put those two words 00:52:21.289 --> 00:52:27.269 together. Once you're a hooker, you're old. Hooker 00:52:27.269 --> 00:52:30.210 adds 20 years. Wait, I shouldn't say that. It 00:52:30.210 --> 00:52:34.599 sounds fucked up. No, it has to. Just like drinking 00:52:34.599 --> 00:52:37.519 and smoking does. Nah, true. Let's see. He was 00:52:37.519 --> 00:52:39.900 a Scientologist. That's crazy. Oh, wow. Let's 00:52:39.900 --> 00:52:44.360 see. He was in CBS Reports, The Homosexuals. 00:52:44.539 --> 00:52:48.659 What? Oh, so he's crazy. Wow. Can we please do 00:52:48.659 --> 00:52:51.659 a reaction video to that documentary? Oh, yeah. 00:52:51.739 --> 00:52:55.739 CBS Reports, The Homosexuals. When was this? 00:52:56.139 --> 00:52:59.659 1967. Oh, my God. Oh, yes. We need to watch that. 00:53:00.510 --> 00:53:02.030 Yeah, that's going to be wild. That's going to 00:53:02.030 --> 00:53:08.389 be crazy as hell. He's famously a gay politician, 00:53:08.690 --> 00:53:14.070 although he says he's not gay, per se. Yeah, 00:53:14.170 --> 00:53:17.849 apparently he doesn't care about Roman Polanski 00:53:17.849 --> 00:53:23.170 banging children. Everybody has to take a stance, 00:53:23.329 --> 00:53:25.510 and he didn't want to take that one. He fought 00:53:25.510 --> 00:53:29.559 them. You can't be named Gore. Your name can't 00:53:29.559 --> 00:53:31.480 be Gore. When you guys were saying that, I thought 00:53:31.480 --> 00:53:33.380 you meant it was a gory movie. When did he die? 00:53:36.139 --> 00:53:39.260 Dude, I thought this shit was based in the 1780s. 00:53:39.260 --> 00:53:44.400 No, it was two separate ones. Did he write this 00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:48.619 or something? Who? The Gore guy. Did he write 00:53:48.619 --> 00:53:52.079 what? That Kevin Spacey thing. His movie? No. 00:53:52.199 --> 00:53:54.769 The movie? No. It's a biopic or whatever. That's 00:53:54.769 --> 00:53:57.389 weird because it's more in 1925. That's what 00:53:57.389 --> 00:54:01.010 I'm saying. He died in 2012. It's a movie about 00:54:01.010 --> 00:54:05.090 his life. Go back. The 1780 and this one are 00:54:05.090 --> 00:54:09.550 two separate movies. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Spacey 00:54:09.550 --> 00:54:13.269 also has another film, Gores. Oh, okay, okay. 00:54:13.269 --> 00:54:16.329 Okay, I get it now. Okay. I was with you, Brandon. 00:54:16.510 --> 00:54:19.530 I didn't know what was going on. AI is just trying 00:54:19.530 --> 00:54:22.170 to advertise Kevin Spacey to us. No big deal. 00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:25.059 Dude, AI is about to take over the world. They're 00:54:25.059 --> 00:54:29.239 fucking with sewer plants. That's because you 00:54:29.239 --> 00:54:31.739 put all the information of your sewer plant into 00:54:31.739 --> 00:54:35.639 ChatGPT. Dude. How do I fix this? You're not 00:54:35.639 --> 00:54:38.639 wrong. I don't believe you're wrong. But it's 00:54:38.639 --> 00:54:41.139 not just me. You put shit in there, it's going 00:54:41.139 --> 00:54:42.960 to get the information faster. It's just what 00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:46.719 it's going to be from now on. I bet it's like 00:54:46.719 --> 00:54:50.159 the simplest shit Dom's asking it. I don't know. 00:54:51.679 --> 00:54:55.099 It's just literally just give me the wattage 00:54:55.099 --> 00:54:58.440 and shit off of each thing. Just critical components 00:54:58.440 --> 00:55:01.760 list, shit like that. Brandon, you got a critical 00:55:01.760 --> 00:55:06.420 components list? No. The heart, liver, lungs. 00:55:06.760 --> 00:55:12.719 Yeah. WWE. I was thinking EMT stuff. Oh, yeah. 00:55:13.179 --> 00:55:17.829 Spine. Tibula. What would you do if you came 00:55:17.829 --> 00:55:20.769 over and I just cracked my back right here? I'm 00:55:20.769 --> 00:55:23.550 like, ah, I'm talking. I'm like, ah, my back. 00:55:23.610 --> 00:55:25.590 I can't move, though. I can't feel my legs and 00:55:25.590 --> 00:55:27.449 my arms. Oh, I can't do much. I'm going to have 00:55:27.449 --> 00:55:30.210 to get them so they can come down there and mobilize 00:55:30.210 --> 00:55:32.670 you and stuff. But I'm saying you. I'm just saying 00:55:32.670 --> 00:55:35.230 right here, me and you. I'm just sitting here. 00:55:35.289 --> 00:55:36.510 We're sitting here. I get up and then I fall 00:55:36.510 --> 00:55:39.789 and break my back. Yeah, I'm going to. Because, 00:55:39.889 --> 00:55:41.710 like, I can't do it. Because, like, what if you 00:55:41.710 --> 00:55:43.630 have, like, some serious spinal injury? So I 00:55:43.630 --> 00:55:45.190 have to get them to come down so they can mobilize 00:55:45.190 --> 00:55:47.889 the spine. There you go. Yeah, yeah. That's what 00:55:47.889 --> 00:55:49.570 I want to hear. I can't. Yeah, I can't really. 00:55:49.690 --> 00:55:51.309 I can't do nothing. That's perfect. You can't 00:55:51.309 --> 00:55:53.889 move them. Yeah, I can't move you. Like, I'm 00:55:53.889 --> 00:55:56.190 going to just try to talk to you and get them 00:55:56.190 --> 00:55:58.190 to get here. Can you get me apple juice? Sure. 00:55:58.610 --> 00:56:01.010 Everything. We're going to do what we can. Don't 00:56:01.010 --> 00:56:04.199 move. Just don't move. I hear that. Just start 00:56:04.199 --> 00:56:13.860 crying. I'm about to die. It's time to cry. If 00:56:13.860 --> 00:56:19.340 you have anything to say, now's the time. Anybody 00:56:19.340 --> 00:56:24.460 want me to put on a speaker for you? I'm just 00:56:24.460 --> 00:56:26.960 a normal bystander. This is me as a normal bystander, 00:56:26.960 --> 00:56:32.769 man. He can't do that. He just puts Mike's heels 00:56:32.769 --> 00:56:38.969 on. Oh, my God. No, no, no. Damn, bro. Let me 00:56:38.969 --> 00:56:43.469 run this set by you real quick. I was laying 00:56:43.469 --> 00:56:45.309 on the floor dying. Well, you ain't doing nothing. 00:56:46.710 --> 00:56:50.469 What are you up? Pat walks in, he's like, man, 00:56:50.570 --> 00:56:52.969 ain't this crazy that I see you dying right now? 00:56:53.050 --> 00:56:55.289 That's great. Now he walks in, you could eat 00:56:55.289 --> 00:57:00.190 that? Dom's dead body. He trips and falls on 00:57:00.190 --> 00:57:06.110 me and somehow fixes me. You freaky Friday. That'd 00:57:06.110 --> 00:57:08.429 be awesome, dude. That'd be a good sketch. We 00:57:08.429 --> 00:57:11.190 do it like that movie with the kid who breaks 00:57:11.190 --> 00:57:14.150 his arm and then pitches in the MLB. Oh, Perfect 00:57:14.150 --> 00:57:16.030 Pitch. Perfect Pitch. Yeah, great movie. Something 00:57:16.030 --> 00:57:18.920 like that. Yeah. There's so many good baseball 00:57:18.920 --> 00:57:21.380 movies, man. Yeah. And it's still, like, worst 00:57:21.380 --> 00:57:25.320 sport to watch. Right? Yeah. Very boring to watch. 00:57:25.920 --> 00:57:29.420 But, dude, Mr. Baseball. I don't know that one. 00:57:29.480 --> 00:57:31.920 It's with Tom Selleck. He goes and plays baseball 00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:33.880 in Japan. He's just racist the whole time. Mr. 00:57:34.079 --> 00:57:37.059 Baseball. Mr. Baseball. For real. For real? Oh. 00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:40.059 Yes, Mr. Baseball. And then Disney made a movie. 00:57:40.670 --> 00:57:42.949 Where they're about playing baseball in an internment 00:57:42.949 --> 00:57:47.769 camp. Field of Dreams? No, that's not that. That's 00:57:47.769 --> 00:57:49.969 just in somebody's backyard. That's the Allstate. 00:57:50.230 --> 00:57:53.829 It's Japanese people in an internment camp, and 00:57:53.829 --> 00:57:56.150 then they beat the guards in a game of baseball, 00:57:56.289 --> 00:57:59.349 but they don't get set free. Damn. They're just 00:57:59.349 --> 00:58:00.710 still in an internment camp. They don't go home. 00:58:00.750 --> 00:58:02.949 That's a real story. They don't go home. They 00:58:02.949 --> 00:58:05.309 get like two pieces of bread instead of one that 00:58:05.309 --> 00:58:13.730 day. Two rices. That's the Allstate guy. Yeah, 00:58:13.730 --> 00:58:14.849 that's what I was saying. That's Allstate Stan. 00:58:15.409 --> 00:58:18.809 You mean the Shield guy. What? He was in the 00:58:18.809 --> 00:58:20.750 Shield. Yeah, he was in the Shield too. I thought 00:58:20.750 --> 00:58:25.510 that was Samuel L. Jackson. And where? I thought 00:58:25.510 --> 00:58:27.590 you were talking about Marvel's The Shield. No, 00:58:27.610 --> 00:58:29.610 no, no. The show The Shield. It was probably 00:58:29.610 --> 00:58:32.409 out before he was born. Yeah, right. On like 00:58:32.409 --> 00:58:34.130 Starz or some shit. I don't know what that was 00:58:34.130 --> 00:58:36.510 on. Yeah, it wasn't on regular TV. It was on 00:58:36.510 --> 00:58:39.300 a weird channel. Yeah. You seen Moneyball? Yeah, 00:58:39.300 --> 00:58:42.219 yeah, yeah. That's a really good movie. I love 00:58:42.219 --> 00:58:46.280 those movies. That dude is in the NFL, and he 00:58:46.280 --> 00:58:48.460 pulled off the Deshaun Watson trade, I believe. 00:58:49.420 --> 00:58:53.400 Oh, that guy? Really? Yeah, but he has two of 00:58:53.400 --> 00:58:55.940 the worst trades in the history of the sport. 00:58:56.139 --> 00:58:59.619 Oh, Seymour Hoffman, RIP. I mean, the Mavs GM 00:58:59.619 --> 00:59:02.980 is making a run right now for worst trade ever. 00:59:03.159 --> 00:59:05.650 But I don't know, because the dude... I don't 00:59:05.650 --> 00:59:06.789 watch basketball. I ain't going to say I watch 00:59:06.789 --> 00:59:08.590 basketball all the time, but I do watch the playoff. 00:59:08.650 --> 00:59:10.949 This motherfucker, I mean, he ain't doing shit. 00:59:11.030 --> 00:59:14.829 He can score. Okay, he can score, but that ain't 00:59:14.829 --> 00:59:17.070 going to win you no championship. He went crazy 00:59:17.070 --> 00:59:19.070 last year, but it looked like he don't give a 00:59:19.070 --> 00:59:23.789 fuck. I don't know. I think, I mean, he got traded 00:59:23.789 --> 00:59:27.110 way deep into the season, but to a team with 00:59:27.110 --> 00:59:29.750 better players. But I don't know. I guess they 00:59:29.750 --> 00:59:32.469 just didn't gel and it didn't work out. I thought 00:59:32.469 --> 00:59:34.530 he was going to win the finals last year because 00:59:34.530 --> 00:59:37.809 they made it. But Jason Tatum, the boring ass, 00:59:38.050 --> 00:59:40.789 won. Yeah. Because, hey, that's real basketball. 00:59:41.230 --> 00:59:44.590 Fundamentals, man. Yeah. I don't know. Dribbling? 00:59:44.610 --> 00:59:47.210 It's so boring. Left -handed all the way up the 00:59:47.210 --> 00:59:49.809 court just like that? Yeah. That's a movie 43 00:59:49.809 --> 00:59:53.130 too. Dude, I'm telling you. Movie 43. Do yourselves 00:59:53.130 --> 00:59:55.849 a favor. Go watch it. I kind of want to watch 00:59:55.849 --> 00:59:58.030 it now. It got panned. It got panned so hard. 00:59:58.170 --> 00:59:59.550 Like, they were like, it's the worst movie ever. 01:00:00.309 --> 01:00:03.030 It's so good, though. I'd check it out. But what 01:00:03.030 --> 01:00:05.590 were we just talking about? Basketball? Yeah, 01:00:05.670 --> 01:00:08.869 the basketball. He's like, the last sketch is 01:00:08.869 --> 01:00:13.949 Lawrence, what's his name? No, no. Man, Hustle 01:00:13.949 --> 01:00:17.079 and Flow. Terrence Howard. Terrence Howard, he's 01:00:17.079 --> 01:00:18.579 a basketball coach. He's like trying to give 01:00:18.579 --> 01:00:20.800 them an inspirational speech. And the guys is 01:00:20.800 --> 01:00:23.579 like, but those other boys are tough. He was 01:00:23.579 --> 01:00:27.739 like, you're black. They're white. And they come 01:00:27.739 --> 01:00:29.699 in and they're like, what is up, boy, negro. 01:00:30.039 --> 01:00:32.239 They keep on calling them negro. He's like, they 01:00:32.239 --> 01:00:34.940 look scary. He was like, stand up. How big is 01:00:34.940 --> 01:00:36.460 your dick? He was like, a foot, a foot and a 01:00:36.460 --> 01:00:38.500 half. He was like, damn, a foot and a half. He 01:00:38.500 --> 01:00:40.659 was like, you can tie one hand behind your back 01:00:40.659 --> 01:00:42.000 and dribble the ball with your dick and still 01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:45.139 beat these motherfuckers. But the whole scene 01:00:45.139 --> 01:00:48.519 is fucking crazy. You've probably seen it memed 01:00:48.519 --> 01:00:52.619 or whatever. I've seen the homeschool bully. 01:00:52.860 --> 01:00:56.739 Oh, the homeschool bully is crazy. I can't believe 01:00:56.739 --> 01:00:59.019 they were able to put that out. That's like something 01:00:59.019 --> 01:01:02.739 Matt TD would do. That's Liev Schreiber and Julia 01:01:02.739 --> 01:01:05.559 Louis -Dreyfus, right? Who's that in that scene? 01:01:05.559 --> 01:01:12.320 No, no, no. She's in Natalie. Okay. No, it's 01:01:12.320 --> 01:01:15.599 got a movie 43. I can't remember her name, but 01:01:15.599 --> 01:01:17.860 it's the dude who plays Sabretooth. Yeah, Liev 01:01:17.860 --> 01:01:20.880 Schreiber. Yeah, Liev Schreiber. The boy is the 01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:22.980 dude from The Bear. Shameless, lip shameless. 01:01:23.360 --> 01:01:25.599 Jeremy Allen White. Yeah, him. And then the mom 01:01:25.599 --> 01:01:28.820 is, she's like an Oscar winning actor too. Yeah. 01:01:29.119 --> 01:01:33.280 Oh, and she kisses him? Dude. Oh, yeah, I've 01:01:33.280 --> 01:01:35.360 seen that clip. Is it Anna Faris? I've just seen 01:01:35.360 --> 01:01:37.699 that clip. No, she's in one of them. Oh, I totally 01:01:37.699 --> 01:01:41.139 forgot about this. I saw that clip. Yeah. Yeah. 01:01:41.739 --> 01:01:44.619 This is so funny. They're not showing the woman 01:01:44.619 --> 01:01:47.400 for some reason. Oh, you want to? Yeah, go, go. 01:01:47.519 --> 01:01:50.559 I want to see you. Oh, she's, yeah, she's in 01:01:50.559 --> 01:01:52.380 a lot of shit. Yeah, she's in tons of shit. Yeah, 01:01:52.500 --> 01:01:55.440 yeah. So, like, his parents bullied him? Yeah. 01:01:55.519 --> 01:01:57.360 So he's homeschooled, but they're like, we want 01:01:57.360 --> 01:01:59.599 to give him the real experience. Yeah, real high 01:01:59.599 --> 01:02:01.800 school experience. So they do bully. They do 01:02:01.800 --> 01:02:05.099 bully. They do dance. She dates his first kiss. 01:02:05.099 --> 01:02:09.500 Yeah. They go full hog. Tom Brady did that. Probably. 01:02:10.699 --> 01:02:12.239 I'm just kidding. I don't know nothing about 01:02:12.239 --> 01:02:13.840 it. Would you ever kiss your son on the mouth? 01:02:13.860 --> 01:02:16.960 No. No, hell no. For any circumstance? As a baby. 01:02:17.099 --> 01:02:19.960 To save his life. I don't see a reason to kiss 01:02:19.960 --> 01:02:23.789 him on the mouth. No. I mean, do a baby. I mean, 01:02:23.789 --> 01:02:30.090 if he's like... Baby play? Nobody? Oh, no. You 01:02:30.090 --> 01:02:32.050 know what I mean? You never played with a baby? 01:02:32.570 --> 01:02:36.170 No. Okay. He's talking about playing, real playing. 01:02:36.449 --> 01:02:38.090 I know what you mean. Like peek -a -boo. Like, 01:02:38.090 --> 01:02:41.829 I mean, yeah. I got your nose. Yeah, yeah. So 01:02:41.829 --> 01:02:45.429 what's that? Peek -a -boo. Yeah, peek -a -boo. 01:02:45.750 --> 01:02:48.190 What was the thing you were doing before that? 01:02:48.250 --> 01:02:50.110 What are you talking about? What was there when 01:02:50.110 --> 01:02:52.920 you put your hands like this? I don't remember. 01:02:53.980 --> 01:02:56.460 Kind of looked like you were going like this 01:02:56.460 --> 01:03:00.400 a little bit. What is that? Was that special? 01:03:00.619 --> 01:03:02.300 What were you going to say, Don? I don't know. 01:03:03.380 --> 01:03:05.539 Was that like a special move or something? A 01:03:05.539 --> 01:03:07.960 special move. It is special if you're doing two, 01:03:08.099 --> 01:03:10.400 yeah. Oh, you guys, I'm telling you, you guys 01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:11.940 are talking about something else. Now I get it. 01:03:12.360 --> 01:03:14.619 I thought you guys were saying I was doing a 01:03:14.619 --> 01:03:17.710 special gesture or something. He thought you 01:03:17.710 --> 01:03:20.550 meant special needs. Like somebody doing. Which, 01:03:20.570 --> 01:03:22.389 by the way, me and my wife scared the shit out 01:03:22.389 --> 01:03:25.170 of one by accident walking in the neighborhood. 01:03:26.409 --> 01:03:28.710 You scared a special needs person? Dude, not 01:03:28.710 --> 01:03:34.210 on purpose. So me and her were walking the dog, 01:03:34.329 --> 01:03:36.329 right? And then we were like, he was getting 01:03:36.329 --> 01:03:38.360 the mail and he just slowly looked at us. And 01:03:38.360 --> 01:03:40.260 then when we got closer, he just dropped his 01:03:40.260 --> 01:03:42.559 mail, literally ran so fast that he kicked his 01:03:42.559 --> 01:03:44.699 shoes off, so his shoes were still there. And 01:03:44.699 --> 01:03:46.880 he ran to his house and hit something in the 01:03:46.880 --> 01:03:49.340 garage, and we just heard a big noise. And he 01:03:49.340 --> 01:03:51.179 just took off, so his mail was still there, and 01:03:51.179 --> 01:03:53.519 his shoes were right there. And that's how fast 01:03:53.519 --> 01:03:56.239 he ran. How did you know he was special needs? 01:03:56.940 --> 01:03:59.019 Just the way, because he saw us and just threw 01:03:59.019 --> 01:04:02.019 his mail up in the air and then kicked his shoes 01:04:02.019 --> 01:04:04.800 off and ran and then busted it and hit something. 01:04:05.219 --> 01:04:07.559 Was it a white guy? No, it was a black dude. 01:04:08.500 --> 01:04:10.559 What? Yeah, they had, you know. You didn't know? 01:04:11.059 --> 01:04:13.960 It looked like he had a bad colorway. I don't 01:04:13.960 --> 01:04:14.940 know, man. It could have been Down syndrome. 01:04:16.079 --> 01:04:18.079 Well, you could see. Yeah, yeah, it was Down 01:04:18.079 --> 01:04:20.219 syndrome. We're just going to say that. Like, 01:04:20.260 --> 01:04:22.619 straight up. Because I knew. Like, because, by 01:04:22.619 --> 01:04:24.000 the way, how he was looking, I was like, ah, 01:04:24.099 --> 01:04:26.019 man, I hope he's not nervous. Heard his cheeks 01:04:26.019 --> 01:04:28.960 clapping while he was running. Dude, he ran so 01:04:28.960 --> 01:04:31.820 fast, his shoes literally came off. That's like 01:04:31.820 --> 01:04:33.659 insane. Like, he kicked his shoes off and then 01:04:33.659 --> 01:04:35.920 left the mail. I was thinking of the dude from 01:04:35.920 --> 01:04:37.820 the Benchwarmers that ate the sunscreen, like, 01:04:37.860 --> 01:04:39.699 stayed in his house all the time. Yeah, yeah. 01:04:39.820 --> 01:04:41.400 I was thinking that. I did not think of that. 01:04:41.840 --> 01:04:43.940 This might be one of my favorite moments of this 01:04:43.940 --> 01:04:46.280 podcast. He said me and Athena scared one of 01:04:46.280 --> 01:04:49.239 them. It was bad. Like you're a hunting person? 01:04:49.420 --> 01:04:51.960 Like you stepped on a stick? Nah, we were just 01:04:51.960 --> 01:04:54.880 walking. Just walking the dog. And he just slowly 01:04:54.880 --> 01:04:57.239 looked and just took off. Like it was a dog. 01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:04.659 We scared a guy. That was challenged. Oh, my 01:05:04.659 --> 01:05:12.539 God. You're amazing, brother. Yeah. That was 01:05:12.539 --> 01:05:14.320 rough. I hope he's all right. Yeah, he's good, 01:05:14.360 --> 01:05:16.860 man. He just got scared. Oh, like. A week ago. 01:05:17.440 --> 01:05:20.579 Have you seen him since? Oh, no, man. It just 01:05:20.579 --> 01:05:23.860 kept going. Like, I was like, no, it's time to 01:05:23.860 --> 01:05:27.300 go. We need to go. He'll be all right. Is that 01:05:27.300 --> 01:05:30.159 a community mailbox? No, it was his. Like, he 01:05:30.159 --> 01:05:31.840 was walking outside his house, and we were just 01:05:31.840 --> 01:05:33.860 walking on the sidewalk. And then he just saw 01:05:33.860 --> 01:05:36.159 us and slowly started walking. Then ran, kicked 01:05:36.159 --> 01:05:39.039 his shoes off. threw his mail on the ground. 01:05:39.119 --> 01:05:41.099 Then we just heard a big bang. He's probably 01:05:41.099 --> 01:05:43.360 waiting this whole time to go get the mail just 01:05:43.360 --> 01:05:46.199 for nobody to be on the street. I don't know 01:05:46.199 --> 01:05:47.739 if it's because of the dog or what. It could 01:05:47.739 --> 01:05:50.280 have been an interracial couple. I don't know. 01:05:50.460 --> 01:05:55.920 He's terrified. Maybe he's racist. All I know 01:05:55.920 --> 01:05:59.079 is if I was actually racist, I'd be scared of 01:05:59.079 --> 01:06:02.039 black people. Maybe he thought there was a big 01:06:02.039 --> 01:06:07.949 mirror outside. What? Oh, you trying to call 01:06:07.949 --> 01:06:14.750 me special, man? Good God. JJ. Damn, man. Trying 01:06:14.750 --> 01:06:16.710 to say I got Down syndrome. That's crazy, man. 01:06:17.389 --> 01:06:19.070 Brandon, I... If that's how you want to interpret 01:06:19.070 --> 01:06:21.329 it... No, I think you have Ups syndrome, all 01:06:21.329 --> 01:06:23.030 right? Thank you, man. Don't listen to these. 01:06:23.050 --> 01:06:25.050 Not Down syndrome. Yeah, don't listen to these 01:06:25.050 --> 01:06:28.110 jabronis. We got the... No. That's not... What 01:06:28.110 --> 01:06:30.289 are you talking about, man? Brandon, I love you, 01:06:30.289 --> 01:06:32.429 man. I love you, too, man. Dom told me to say 01:06:32.429 --> 01:06:34.170 it. You know I wouldn't do that. I know, yeah, 01:06:34.289 --> 01:06:37.719 man. Yeah, he's got Dom syndrome. Oh, fuck you 01:06:37.719 --> 01:06:49.900 all. He's three points away. Oh, shit. Have you 01:06:49.900 --> 01:06:52.400 guys seen that? And this is... I'm not making 01:06:52.400 --> 01:06:55.159 a comparison. This is a segue. Have you seen 01:06:55.159 --> 01:06:58.059 the videos of, like, when they put a mirror in 01:06:58.059 --> 01:06:59.920 the jungle and, like, the animals see their reflection 01:06:59.920 --> 01:07:01.780 for the first time? Dude, that's the first thing 01:07:01.780 --> 01:07:04.440 I... When that bear beat the shit out of it on 01:07:04.440 --> 01:07:07.460 the... He fucked that fucking mirror up. I like 01:07:07.460 --> 01:07:09.179 the one with the gorilla who was, like, feeling 01:07:09.179 --> 01:07:10.980 himself when he was looking in the mirror. He 01:07:10.980 --> 01:07:14.659 was like, man. Nice. Speaking of gorillas, how 01:07:14.659 --> 01:07:16.840 y 'all feel about the 100 gorilla... No, my bad. 01:07:16.900 --> 01:07:19.539 100 men versus one gorilla. This is a great debate. 01:07:19.719 --> 01:07:21.820 Have you heard about this? I think 100 men could 01:07:21.820 --> 01:07:23.340 beat a gorilla. I don't know about that. It's 01:07:23.340 --> 01:07:25.880 not 100 men versus one gorilla? Yeah. Oh, yeah. 01:07:25.880 --> 01:07:29.280 And AI says it can't happen or some shit. Like, 01:07:29.280 --> 01:07:33.599 if you ask AI, it'll... Yeah, well, 100 men will 01:07:33.599 --> 01:07:35.360 beat a gorilla. But people have listened to Joe 01:07:35.360 --> 01:07:37.059 Rogan so much, they think the gorilla is just 01:07:37.059 --> 01:07:39.119 going to rip everybody in half. Yeah. I mean, 01:07:39.139 --> 01:07:41.780 it will rip a couple in half. It's just going 01:07:41.780 --> 01:07:45.500 to be a single -digit guy. Yeah, it's not just 01:07:45.500 --> 01:07:47.800 going to think... I don't think it will think 01:07:47.800 --> 01:07:50.179 it can beat 100 people. What if it takes turns? 01:07:51.529 --> 01:07:53.710 You go one person at a time. Well, then it will 01:07:53.710 --> 01:07:57.190 beat everyone. Yeah, it could beat 800 individual 01:07:57.190 --> 01:08:00.050 people. Humans have the best stamina. That is 01:08:00.050 --> 01:08:02.150 true. You do three at a time or something like 01:08:02.150 --> 01:08:03.610 that. And just run around in a circle, honestly. 01:08:03.769 --> 01:08:06.769 You couldn't, yeah, honestly. Fire him out. Heart 01:08:06.769 --> 01:08:08.409 give out. Stab him in the eye with your finger. 01:08:08.650 --> 01:08:12.429 Dude, to end. That wouldn't be my strategy. To 01:08:12.429 --> 01:08:14.409 end the pod, we don't have a microphone hooked 01:08:14.409 --> 01:08:16.250 up to the computer, do we? Never mind. What do 01:08:16.250 --> 01:08:18.609 you mean? There's an AI you can talk to for free, 01:08:18.649 --> 01:08:20.810 and I've seen people. It'd be funny interacting. 01:08:21.970 --> 01:08:23.710 But we'll do it later. I'll set it up next time. 01:08:23.770 --> 01:08:27.390 Yeah, we'll have it. All right. Hell yeah, boys. 01:08:27.789 --> 01:08:30.010 That was a good episode. We're out. Happy Mother's 01:08:30.010 --> 01:08:32.029 Day. Happy Mother's Day. Love you, Mom. Memorial 01:08:32.029 --> 01:09:10.880 Day, I think, will be. New Pope. I hate Scrappy 01:09:10.880 --> 01:09:11.079 Doo.