This week on Clown College. You were kind of
a doctor for a little while. You didn't know.
I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know.
I got hoodooed. I got hoodooed. But no, that's
how. It happened. Okay, so that's how easy it
can happen. Yeah. And that's how easy. That's
how easy that shit can just slip right in if
you're not careful. You're telling me. Welcome
to Clown College. We have profound knowledge.
In many ways, the elevator makes you sound polished.
So if you want to hear a little honest, a few
takes on our ways to make it as a comic, then
stick around for a while. If you're down to clown,
we've got a guest right now just to show you
how. Let's all go to Clown College, baby. It's
with Brandon, Taylor, Scott, and JJ. Let's all
go to Clown College. It's with Brandon Willis,
Don and JJ. You need to explain a little bit
more. So if you got burnt up, that is only 1
% of damage out of your whole body, they say.
No, if your dick gets burnt, that's only 1 %
of damage to your body. Are you arguing that
it would be more than 1 % for you? I feel like
it's 100%. That's just me because I'm like a
bitch. Well, 100 % would be your whole body.
I know it's your whole body. I know by the statistics,
but I'm talking about mentally. That's very important.
Yeah, there's a whole book about this. We talked
about this. Yeah, yeah. So if you were in the
burn and they said, oh, that guy burned, but
everything else is good, you'd be fine? I mean,
no, I wouldn't be fine. You know what I mean?
I understand how they're saying it's only...
I get it. Physically 1%, mentally 100%. Yeah,
but I feel like that's horrible. And that's how
we should bring our guest in today. We have a
very special guest today, man, as always. Who
we got? He is repping Bush Light so damn hard,
dude. And I fucks with a head for the mountains,
baby. I love it. He is from Fort Payne, Alabama.
Shout out. Shout out, Meth Mountain. Meth Mountain,
Fentanyl Valley, you know, whatever. But Bush
Light, oh. Oh, I still got credit for it. I still
got credit for it. I fucked everything up already.
It took over you like a holy grail. He's the
co -host of the No Insurance podcast with Roy
Hairston. With Brett Loudermilk and Ryan Keel.
Got you. Okay. And he is self -described as Hullaboard
the Bipolar Express. Absolutely. Yeah, today
we have Tyler Perea on the show. It's Perea,
a lot of people. How you say it? Perea. Perea.
Somebody told me the easiest way that they know
how to remember it is that it rhymes with gonorrhea.
But it's with a P. It's Perea. Dude, that has
work. Yep. Because I get names wrong all the
time. Well, that's it. That's going to stick
with you. I mean, like gonorrhea. Gonorrhea sticks
with you. You can get rid of it. But the Bush
Light, I would like to be sponsored by Bush Light
one day. I love Bush Light. I don't know if comics
has even thought about having sponsorships on
their T -shirts when they go up. on the stage
and looking like a fucking NASCAR. Yeah, like
UFC spot. Yeah. You know what I mean? Seriously,
be a whore, mother. Be a whore. Be all the whore
you can be. Don't be a slut. Don't be a slut.
And don't be getting, yeah, be a whore, get paid
for it. You better say no gay stuff. Brandon's
with you. We don't care about that. That's okay.
I'm going to talk for you, Brandon. Huh? Wait,
what? You know, because you don't like... Well,
anyway, he's homophobic. No, he's not. No, he's
not. Damn, man. What the fuck? I'm not homophobic.
Piece of shit. I disagree with that. I'm not
homophobic. Here, here, Brandon. I have a lot
of gay friends. Me too. And I also use the, I
got a lot of black friends, so I'm not racist.
Well, you have to let them know. I got to. You
got to. I got Alex, and I have told everybody.
I'm covered. I'm covered. I got it on a card
and everything. I got Chinese buddy, Japanese
buddy. You got two different kinds. No, no, I'm
just talking about Alex. He's one of them, right?
No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. These
bush lies can get you. Get the racist out in
you. I'm not a racist. Everybody who watches
this show knows this. Anyways, that was a hoot
and holler. That was a good one. What are your
thoughts on Bush Light Apple? Oh, have you ever
tried Bush Light Apple? I have. Okay, so I haven't
tried it, and we have tried Peach, Bush Light
Peach. We float the creek. We like to float the
creek, and we had some peaches with us, and we
drank. Every one of them quickly. And then I
only had 12 more bush lights. Just bush lights.
And we drunk them quickly. We ran out halfway
on the float trip. So 12 apiece. Yeah, 12 apiece.
And you know how bad them headaches was? Terrible.
So we're actually growing as people. Because
we can make a whole 30 -pack last a whole float
trip now. But Bush Light peaches are good, but
what is your thoughts on Bush Apple? We've been
wanting to try it. I like it. I really do like
it. Dom called me gay when I was talking about
it earlier. I didn't think Bush Light was going
to conform to the woke media. That's what I didn't
think. They got them. Okay, what about dipping?
Y 'all probably don't dip, but like Skull Apple,
Skull Peach. No, I don't like that either. Do
you dip, though? I straight coat. Yeah, I mean,
I got... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ain't a child.
You ain't a child because that's what they're
trying to get kids hooked on. Yeah. But it's
always in long cut because it's easy for a kid
to dip long cut shit. But I like the apple and
the peach. I won't let nobody see me do it. What
are you doing? So you're doing, are you doing
grizzly? I'm doing Stoker's natural long cut.
I've never heard of that. So that means it's
a deep cut. It's my favorite. What's the container
look like? Ah, shit. I got it in a tub. Oh, okay.
In the back seat. Yeah. You mean a tub? Hold
on, what do you mean a tub? Are you bringing
ice cream to a birthday party? Yeah, that's what
I'm doing. Yeah, that's what it looks like. It's
a... damn tub full of dip and 20 bucks lasts
me for a week and a half a can won't even last
me a day that's terrible loose loose loose in
a bucket in a bucket and I'll just fucking three
finger that shit oh you fuck that's crazy yeah
do you keep an old can just so you can stuff
if you go in somewhere you want to be classy
about it yes yes I do when I do a show when I
do a show I'll pack it from the tub yeah and
i'll just put in my back pocket because i because
everybody will end up getting tired of me bombing
cigarettes from them because especially when
i start drinking them like yes motherfucker don't
fucking talk to me he's gonna ask me for a cigarette
then he's gonna say i'll give you two dollars
then he's gonna say i suck your dick and then
and so i just take my dip with me and i'll uh
I would just dip and hide away in the shadows.
Dude, I can totally see you with that tub of
dip, dude. Oh, yeah. Just in the backseat of
your El Camino. Yeah. I would love to have an
El Camino, but I kind of got an El Camino. It's
a Chevy Colorado. It's a little truck, but I
love my truck. I've had it since 2017, and I've
had it repoed. I've had it fucking wrecked. I've
had it all kinds of shit, but it still comes
back to me. That's nice. It's right here, right?
Yeah, it's a white Chevy Colorado 2017 model.
Oh, that came out in 2017? Yeah, 2017 Chevy Colorado.
It's been a good truck. I had to get the starter
replaced on it, and that cost $1 ,000 because
of labor. Starter, I'm no mechanic. I fucking
suck. Yeah, that one right there. But it's a
four -door. It's a four -door. And they said
that starters is real easy to replace except
in them motherfuckers. They have to take the
engine mount out. They have to do all this shit.
And so 600 of it was labor. You know how that
shit in cars, they'll be like, you look it up
and you're like, this is the easiest thing to
change, except you're making a model of your
fucking car. I hate that shit. And then they
make you feel like a piece of shit for having
that. Like the mechanics, they'll put their hands
on their hips and look at you like Forrest Gump
is looking at Jenny and shit. And you're like,
I can do it, but it's going to cost some money.
But thank God that there's a mechanic in town.
That let me make payments on it. And after I
paid it off in like a month, I was like, well,
thank y 'all for letting me pay it off. And she
said, hey, you're welcome. You know, we've had,
you know, they needed the title as collateral.
And I don't blame them at all. And she said,
you know, we don't mind helping people out because
we know how it is. And I was like, well, you
know, all I got right now is my word. And she
was like, and you kept it. And you paid us off.
I was like, well, hell yeah. Hell yeah. You want
to give a shout out? That's how it should be,
you know. But you've got to build your reputation
up to be able to have credit without having credit.
My fucking credit's terrible. No, for real. Your
word actually goes a long way. People always
remember, even if you don't remember them, if
you kept your word, even if it's about something
small, they always remember that shit. Reputation
is everything. I'm trying to build it up. But
now my kids, they're shit out of luck if they
want daddy to sign with them for a car. It's
going to bring the price. It's going to bring
the APR up. Yeah, yeah. They're like, hey, where
is this motherfucker? He owes us money. Yeah,
yeah. He ain't got a bank account. That's what
it is. He's only operating in cash and cash out.
My boy said Cash App will come get you, too.
Oh, tell me about that. And I was like, he asked
to loan him something. I was like, yeah, let
me send it to Cash App. He was like, no, not
right now. You got to send it while I'm at the
ATM. Damn, man. Dang. They're coming getting
Cash Apps, dude. Dude, that's crazy. Pay your
child support. You know you can pay in installments
on DoorDash now? Uh -oh. Really? I can't believe
they did that. They're taking advantage of people.
What's up with that? I don't know. I haven't
tried it. I saw, like, it was big news. You know,
like, they got afterpay? Which I use. I don't
know about afterpay. Okay, so it was like. She
does. You know what I'm talking about? It's like,
on Amazon, you're like, yeah, I got $100 to pay
for this right now. But they're like, oh, you
get, like, whatever. It's five easy payments
of $20. No interest. So you're like, yeah, I'm
going to do that. But then you keep on doing
it. That shit adds up. I never get up to that.
And so. But if you do it on DoorDash or something
like that. Dude, I took my. bank statement through
ChatGPT. I was like, what can I do to save money?
And they were like, dude, stop ordering DoorDash.
And I was like, dude, it's enough. So you can
rack up a big bill each month. Like, you can
rack up, I'm not going to say I did. You can
rack up like $300 a month on fucking ordering
DoorDash because you're lazy and want to get
up. It was over $300, but it was a tad bit over.
But you know how that shit is. Because when you're
on DoorDash, They give you this deal. Oh, if
you order over $30. So now I have to to get the
$5 off. Dom, you are going to. You have to. You
have to. You have to order. Kind of like getting
that free hot dog. Yeah. Free hot dog at the
gas station. Come on, man. You got to do it.
Yeah. They have those deals. Yeah. Hell yeah.
Inflation. Here, here. Here, here, Dom. Here,
here. Cheers to that. Hell yeah. I had a mechanic
try to fuck me over last week with Fidel, man.
What happened? Because I pulled up in there and
they had a saying that said, you can get your
oil changed for $24, right? Oh, they lying. So
as soon as I went in there, he was like, oh,
shit. After he told me I could, I went in there,
he was like, oh, shit, man. We're out of that
oil, but I can do it for $80 or $40. Oh, my God.
I was like, fuck it. I was like, fuck it, man.
Let me do $39. And then when I came back in,
he was like, I'll tell you what, man. If you
give me a good review right now, I will do the
normal charge of $24. So I did the normal. I
gave him the greatest review I could ever give.
Nice. Come here for $24. Can you pull up that
review? Yes, I can. Did you write it? Did you
take it through anything or you just wrote it?
I just wrote it real quick. Freehand, okay. Just
real quick. Damn, he just wanted a compliment.
Yeah. But $24 is cheap as hell. Hell yeah. You
can't even do that at home. $40 is the cheapest
I can find at the house over there in Fort Payne,
small town. I mean, that's still good. Yeah.
Because if you do it yourself, you're spending
more than $40. Well, yeah. Yeah, I mean, how
many quarters does it take? Mm -hmm. I don't
know how many quarts it takes because I don't
fucking change my mind. There it is. Look right
there. Look at that. But there's one place that
charges $90 for an oil change. You fucking motherfucker.
I have all kinds of people. That's how much mine
are. Really? I swear. What are you driving? You
get full synthetic? I get mixed. And I heard
they fuck you up with that. They do. Yeah, they're
just like putting half and like they're saying
it's half and half. It's really like 75 -25.
Yeah. And you're paying like a lot more. But,
you know, it's already on your thing, and I am
lazy. And I'm just like, yeah, the same thing
I got last time. Oil Change Express, they do
a good job. They get you out. Yeah. Sponsor me,
Oil Change Express. I got you right here on my
own. Hell, yeah. I throw it out there. Yeah.
Yeah, there you go. Throw it out there. Express
Oil is the worst because even if you go get a
diagnostic, whatever, they charge you like $60
just to test. It's crazy. Everybody's fucking
everybody, man. Big ol' orgy is what it is. Just
a bunch of people fucking each other. And it's
not enjoyable. Yeah. It's not the good orgy.
I just want to be over by the buffet. Got my
mask on. Just fucking eating cheese dip and shit.
Get the fuck out of here. We went to a show in
Millbrook, Alabama. J -Dubs. You know J -Dubs?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he puts on a show out there.
And we did it. And there was this throuple in
there. And they were talking about the... um
the orgy like they go to and it's like it's called
something god damn i wish i could remember what
it's called but it's like a certain term for
when it's had a whole sophisticated term yeah
okay but like it's like a different kind it's
like these they're different kinds and they were
talking about the kind where you go and you go
to somebody's house or whatever and they have
a buffet and they were complaining about the
food They were like, yeah, they didn't really
have a good spread. But they're talking about
an orgy, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you go to
a lot of them, you're like, you know, they could
have did something. They could have put some
fucking olives over there. They had no roughage.
Yeah, yeah. Where's the health inspector at?
Where's he at? Got your dick out and shit. Motherfuckers
in ball gags and popsicles up their asses and
shit. What would be your spread for the orgy
buffet? Oh, that's a good question. Okay, so
you get three finger foods. What are you having
out? Okay, ham and cheese. No bread, just ham
and cheese. With bread. There's obviously a big
-ass bottle of hand sanitizer on both ends. Moisturizing
hand sanitizer? You don't want your hands to
be dry. That is... Damn, dude. Look at you, fucking
thoughtful -ass motherfucker. What are you thinking
of me? Yeah, okay. I was thinking about just
the regular -ass alcohol. Dry out your hands.
There's a fucking stick going in there. No, okay.
Ham and cheese sandwiches. But I love chicken
salad. Chicken salad on the croissant. And pimento
cheese. Pimento cheese at an orgy? Pimento cheese?
Okay, but you can't eat a lot of pimento cheese
because it will fill that belly up. It'll fill
that belly up and you just ain't going to be
worth a fuck. You ain't going to be worth a fuck.
What are you putting the pimento on? On wheat
bread. But these are halves like you would take
when you was in kindergarten. Like put them in
your lunch box and shit. And now it's came full
circle and you're at a fucking orgy in a big
ass mansion. With a good spread. Well, I will
never ever be invited to orgy in a mansion. Especially
with the attire that I wear and I get called
out with. They're like, you get your bush light
drinking ass fucking out of here, motherfucker.
That might be one of their kinks though. Oh.
Well, I don't know. I've never had a country
boy. Halo's like he's drunk a lot of whiskey.
Yeah. Anyway. But also, I am kind of married
and not married at the same time. I don't know.
Yeah. No, we're great. We've been together 13
years. Congratulations. you know what's helped
us out a lot what's that is is not living together
it's like she has her place and i have my mother's
house and yeah yeah um she's a good woman though
and she's been there i have been a piece of shit
as a husband and turns out That's my ex -wife.
Turns out I've been a better ex -husband than
husband. Learned a lesson. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,
absolutely. And, man, how we're growing back
together, though, has been a beautiful thing.
And it's been so much fun that we've been having.
And all I give is shit about... Actually hanging
out on a day -to -day basis is with her and my
kids. I fucking love that shit. I love hanging
out with my buddies, my comedian buddies and
whatnot. That's what drives you, right? Yeah,
hell yeah. That's what drives me to be the best
I can be at comedy. And I'm nowhere near where
I want to be as a comedian. But I'm nowhere near
where I want to be. And I got a lot of room to
grow and to learn. And I will always be learning
in this. This is a beautiful, beautiful art form.
And it is my trade. And I really believe that
I'm in my lane. But it helps having them in the
back of my head saying, you got to get better
for them because you don't want to keep them
humiliated. You don't want them fucking humiliated
because you suck, you know. So, yeah, that's
what drives me is them. And, yeah, it's been
a great journey. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, man. Your
son's a beast. He wears those Alpha Wolf t -shirts.
I've seen him with that paintball gun on Facebook.
Dude, he plays Airsoft. And, okay, so I told
him that he takes Airsoft seriously. And I told
him, because he asked me how, a couple years
ago, Dad, is this a hobby for you, doing comedy?
I was like, don't you ever say that again. I
was like, comedy is not a hobby for me. This
is, This is what I want to do as a profession.
I want to be a professional comedian. I'm already
a professional comedian, but I want to be able
to, that's all I do, is work on my jokes and
do that. And so I asked him the other day, I
was like, is airsoft a hobby? He said, don't
you ever say that. I'm like, hell no. This is
what I want to take as a profession. I was like,
all right, well, we're both delusional. Get the
fuck out of here. You need it. You need that
delusion. Yeah, you do. You really do, man. And
I got that shit. And I'm delusional. But there's
a difference, I think, between delusion and taking
action. You can have delusions of grandeur. I've
had them. And you can get out of touch with reality
pretty quick. But if you don't put action...
towards your delusions and you're just a fucking
crazy bastard. You know what I mean? 100%. You
got to do it. Yeah, you got to do it. You got
to do it. And a lot of people don't understand
that. You got to take that first step. And when
I took that first step doing comedy four years
ago, February 21st, 2021, at Madison Station,
which was the box car and the fart box car, when
some fucking terrorists came in there and hacked
their shit and fucked them all up. Now they're
no longer anything. Are they? They entice. They
entice. I don't really know what it is. I think
it's like a club type thing. Mike sells timeshare.
Yeah, yeah. I remember that night, though, and
I don't know why because I got drunk. I took
my buddy up there, and I wrote for two years
before I even got the balls to even get on stage.
We got the courage to get on stage, and I didn't
know how to get. on stage and and then i was
uh going through facebook one day and i believe
in god and i'm not pushing god on anybody else
but i i am a believer and i believe yeah well
hell yeah amen well uh i i was praying and i
was like god how the am i going to turn this
and how am i going to do comedy there ain't no
comedy around here and then on uh ad friends
on the on mutual friends on facebook i seen roy
roy harrison shout out roy uh facebook profile
picture and at this time he was on the stage
at madison's station and had a cigarette in his
mouth when he's smoking cigarettes and had a
trucker hat sitting on the stage with the microphone
i was like this guy he'll know he'll know how
i can get started and so uh i sent him a friend
request he accepts it i immediately messaged
him i said hey man i want to do comedy i can
do comedy uh how do i do comedy and he's like
okay well first uh you need to go to open mic
i was like but where and he's like well they're
all over the place he's like i can make meet
you somewhere and tell you and and show you and
uh tell you about some places i said okay cool
And so we met at this Mexican restaurant in the
town that he lives is Henniger. And. And it was
me and my brother, and we meet Roy. And this
is the first time Roy's met me. And the first
thing I'm saying is, like, man, dude, I'm destined
to do this shit. I fucking, I've got this calling
that I want to fucking, I want to make millions.
I want to do, I just can do this. He's like,
okay, well, first step is you need to go to Open
Mic to see if you really want to do this. I was
like, okay. I'll tell you. All right. I was like,
but where? He was like, well, there's one Sunday
night at Madison Station in Madison. I was like,
okay. And so I ended up getting the courage.
I had my buddy, Brandon. He lives in Atlanta
now. And I was like, hey, you want to ride with
me? I knew he wasn't going to be working Monday
because he don't fucking work. I was like, let's
ride out to Madison. And let me try comedy. He's
like, you going to do it? I was like, yeah, man.
I've been writing for two years. I got some notebooks
filled up. I'm ready to go. I go out to Madison
Station. He's with me. I'm pounding beers when
I get there because I'm so fucking nervous. Because
there's a lot of people there at this time. At
this time at Madison Station. This was kind of
like a big point in comedy in Huntsville at Madison
Station. And Matthew Tate was the host, and the
thing about it was that every single comic that
was up there, and Matthew did... amazing that
night they all did everybody did that was like
the magical thing about it is that I haven't
laughed that hard in a really long time like
to where I was in tears I was like damn this
is what it could feel like and it was just regular
just local comedians you know but fucking killing
man just at an open mic I was like damn man this
is amazing feeling so I asked Matthew I said
hey This is my first time he got any advice.
And he said, hey, how much have you had to drink?
I was like, not enough. He was like, I think
you've had enough. He was like, the thing that
you need to know is you need to just get up on
that stage. Don't worry about nothing else. Get
up on that stage. Get that microphone. And I
was like, for real? That's it? Yeah. Get up there.
Get that microphone. And then, you know, just.
That's it. That's all he said. So I'm at the
very end because he knew I was wanting to do
it. And he made an announcement closer to the
end. If there's anybody else that's wanting to
sign up, sign up. And so that's when I got the
courage at the very end. Sign up. And so he calls
my name. And it was a big welcome. I like seeing
that. And I tried to. encourage other first timers
when I'm hosting whatever by that same energy
you know because it's a big step so I get up
there and I get the microphone and then bam I'm
alone up here motherfucker I am alone up here
ain't nobody helping me ain't nobody and then
I just see everybody's eyes oh shit it's on me
it's on me so so But before I even got on stage,
I said, how much time do I get? And he said,
you get 10 minutes. Oh, I was doing 10 minutes.
You get 10 minutes. First time? First time. First
time. First time you get 10 minutes. And in my
head, well, I got to do all 10 minutes. I didn't
even have a minute. I thought I did. I thought
I had all kinds of good shit. But I go up there
and I ramble. I ramble. A couple of little chuckles,
but also I rambled and it was terrible. Fucking
God awful. And I had the mic way down here to
my down belly button. Nobody could hear me. Nobody
could hear me. Then I picked the mic up. Fuck.
Picked the mic up. And I catch myself saying
that too, but also trying to give motherfuckers
that don't know grace because I was at that point
too. It wasn't too long ago that I was holding
it way the fuck down and I was just rambling,
telling a never. Never ending story. Not going
anywhere. Mm -hmm. And I get off the stage, I
was like, shit, that was fucking hard. That was
terrifying and hard and all that. My buddy Brandon,
all the comics said, hey, you know what? Keep
going. You had some funny stuff there. Keep working
at it. You're going to realize that it's a lot
harder than what you think. I was like, okay.
On the ride back home, my buddy Brandon, he's
a real motherfucker, and he said, man, you fucking
suck. You fucking suck, dude. I was like, you
know, fuck you. I'm going to let you out right
here. And then I... I was like, I did suck, didn't
I? He was like, yeah, you did. He was like, but
that don't matter. What matters is, are you going
to go back a second time? Now that you know what
it is. Yeah. Are you going to go back a second
time? I was like, well, hell yeah. And then,
so it took me two years to really realize what
I'm doing. It took me two years to realize, oh,
okay. Let's fucking, okay. And after I... Because
I gave myself grace, too much grace, at the beginning,
in the first two years. I was like, oh, I'm new,
you know. I'm new. Everybody expects me to shit
and suck and all that. And then I was like, man,
what the fuck are you doing? Are you going to
fucking suck or are you going to do comedy? Are
you going to make people laugh or are you going
to just be a fucking another? fucking motherfucker
that don't need to be doing comedy. Just out
there talking. Yeah, just out there talking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that I had a switch
flip inside me and now I'm nowhere near where
I want to be as a comedian but I'm a lot better
than what I was and I'm getting consistent laughs
and I like going Wherever somebody will have
me to do comedy, like I went to Atlanta last
Friday, right? Last Friday. Which one did you
go to? West End, Atlanta. I went, okay, so Tyler
Perry has a highway named after, we had to cross
it walking the street. Tyler Perry Highway. Tyler
Perry's. Tyler Perry Highway. And I told her,
I said, Tyler Perry ain't coming to his fucking
ass down there. No, because we get to this red
light. It's fucking hood -ass motherfuckers with
guns and shit, had bandanas over, fucking throwing
up gang signs and shit. I was like, God damn
it. So we go park and we go right across and
go inside. the venue and inside the venue it
was a completely different atmosphere different
vibe it was full of love and like just positivity
and and it was it was magical is what it was
it was abundance abundance of abundance of you
talking about like brandon abundance of them
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's abundance
of, yeah, yeah, black people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought you were going to say special. Yeah,
that was. No, but, but yeah, there was, I was
the only, Wiz was the only white people. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. That's right, yeah. But, but that,
yeah, I guess you're right about that. But you
hit them, didn't you? Well, it was a great show,
top to bottom. Mm -hmm. And the host, her name's
Silly Me Hines, and she's from Atlanta, and she's
a fucking killer, man. Her and then there was
another lady that I was on the show with. Her
name's Kiki. And on Instagram is Kiki the Great.
She got like almost 100 ,000 followers. She's
been doing comedy as long as I have. She had
me and Holly in tears. We was just, we was, she
was hilarious. And I did great. I went off the
rails. i only did i did 15 minutes but i did
four jokes four jokes i usually open with but
i i was i was doing crowd work i was riffing
and i was like i was having fun it was so fun
yeah i was in the zone man and i loved that and
then i realized i was like not not during my
set but but on the drive back i was like damn
man i can't do that everywhere i can't go off
the rails everywhere and that's the maturity
that I'm gaining in being a comedian is that
there's times and places to go off the rails
and then times and places to fucking hone it
in and do your joke, do your set, but be lively,
be performative, you know. But by God, that was
fun as fuck. You got all, just everybody fucking
hollering and laughing and just having a good
time. No bad vibes at all. I did a podcast with
them, the ones that put it on on TikTok Live
the other day. They made an excellent point.
They said, because they asked me about the area
that I was in and if I was scared to get out
of my car and all that. Because they know it's
a bad area. They have to live over there. And
they said. They said, was you scared to get out
of your car? I was like, no, I was cautious as
fuck, though. I was cautious as hell. I'm not
going to go anywhere without the ability to protect
myself and the people that I love, you know.
But I'm also not looking for trouble. But I'm
also, you know, ready for it, too. What you said
is I'm about that life. Well, I don't want to
be about it. I don't want to be about it. Yeah,
yeah, push comes to shove. Anyways, but they
said, but did you see any of that inside the
show? I was like, hell no. It was nothing but
love and nothing but good vibes. And he had a
great point. He said, you know, hurt people hurt
people. And the people who's trying to cause
trouble ain't trying to laugh. So putting some...
Comedy shows and these pretty bad areas and stuff
may can do something uh great one day for communities
for communities that have nothing but darkness
yeah yeah i know i got my boy hood niggas do
not like to laugh it's like it's hurting them
whenever they get something real funny they gotta
they gotta like hit you yeah yeah yeah i didn't
laugh shit ain't funny man but yeah yeah that's
uh that's good shit that could it could heal
comedy could heal till i haven't even thought
about heal the world I hadn't even thought about
it like that. That's good shit. But I knew when
soon as you said you went to Atlanta because
we had some comics go to Atlanta too over in
that part. The Laughing Skull or what? No, not
that one. The Laughing Skull is where they probably
did okay. They went to Jack and Off. Jack and
Off. Is that an open mic or what? It's a comedy
show. Yeah, it's kind of like Kill Tony. But
with a straight hood. comics so they they like
instead of like just like giving you your time
they start bombing you while you're on the stage
from the sound effect to sit like that and it
was rough it was rough for a lot uh but as soon
as i said that i watched the whole thing and
i saw i saw a guy who was like not like you but
you know what i'm saying he kind of got the same
but he murdered i mean he and he wasn't near
as good as you matter of fact matter of fact
that dude got on kill tony It was two people
that Dante and Pat was on that got on Kill Tony.
Nobody from Nashville. Nobody from Alabama. All
from... Where the fuck was that? Oh, this was
in Nashville? Yeah. So nobody got on Kill Tony
from Huntsville? Nobody got on from all of Alabama.
And all of Tennessee. You ever been over to Pulaski?
Yeah, well, that's... The damn, ain't that the
birthplace of the KKK? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah,
never met him. But old dude got from there. His
main joke is fitting all Jesus. Matt. Oh, God,
I love that. Was it Matt? I think his name's
Matt. Yeah, yeah, he got on. He did good. He
did the best, I think, of both nights. Like,
because he was like, he did a good minute, and
then afterwards, like, he was doing, like, shuffling
on stage I mean it was like crazy shit going
on I thought it was entertaining he did pretty
good but everybody else didn't know him didn't
know Jesus damn yeah he was been at Fat Sammy's
a couple times Really? Mm -hmm. I've been meaning
to go up to Fat Sammy's and Huntsville Mocs.
I don't get out to Mocs that much because— But
you're getting shows now, right? I need—what?
You're getting shows now, right? Yeah. Yeah,
so you travel. But I also like going to Mocs
when I can, when I have the money. Mm -hmm. Because,
I mean, they're a drive for me. And when I have
the money and I want to see some people that
I ain't seen in a while, Then I'll go to a mic.
I can't do it all the time. Yeah, it's far. But
I talk to myself all the time. So, I mean. You're
always having a mic up here. Yeah, man. It's
constant. But I run all my jokes by Holly, and
she will. She'll tell me they ain't worth a fuck.
Get that away from me. You need somebody like
that. Yes, you need somebody on it. Just think
if Kanye had somebody like that. Seriously. Just
think. How much better he would be. How much
less we would know. Right now. I don't think
there's any hope for Kanye anymore. Did you hear
the new thing? About his cousin? Sucking off
his cousin? Yeah. You ain't heard that? No, you
didn't play that. He made a whole song about
it. We can't play the song. Oh, you can't? No,
but he released a statement. Saying that it's
not true? No, on Twitter, he just said what he
said in the song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate pretty
much just saying it. Let's figure this out. It
is I have to figure out he just like this cousin
dick to 40. That's what 16 16 16 I heard 16.
I think it's 14. I'm pretty sure I read 14 I
mean when it gets to it doesn't I mean that I
mean that's a long time. Yeah Yeah 14, but you're
still This is not okay. So I do think that this
is a Britney Spears type deal. 100%. I think
that they're about to fuck. I think he's already
bald. He's a billionaire. He is a billionaire.
He's a billionaire, and he's definitely manic,
but who can put him in something? He has to go
willingly. I've been manic. I'm bipolar. I even
said on stage a couple times, Well, I got, like,
manic highs and lowest of the lows low. And I'm,
uh... Kanye. Yeah, I get Kanye high, but no,
he's gotten too high for me. Yeah, yeah. I'm
fucking... He's too high for me. Sign up! I'm
going to be judging him. I'm like, you're making
all of us fucking crazy motherfuckers look bad.
Put that in your step. Did you say it like that
already? He's got too high for me? Yeah. Because
that's good. That's golden right there. Oh, yeah.
Oh, God. I did like his song, Stronger. That's
about it. Oh, dude. He has some bangers. What's
that? Goat Digger. Runaway. Runaway. I ain't
even heard that one. Who? New Slade. Is that
new? I don't like that. That's 2014. That is
a good song. Last Call is a good song. Last Call,
I don't remember that one. I heard his new song
when it was the number one song in Fort Payne.
With the damn robe on. Britney Spears never walked
out in a full clan. Yeah, you're right about
that. That is true. Just fucking scissors. Yeah,
you're right about that. Okay, so when I was
a kid at the courthouse in Fort Payne, I was
young, but I still remember this. They had a
Klan rally. The Klan was marching and shit. And
that was the first time I seen the Klan. i was
like what the nobody was no counter protest no
no no counter yeah yeah no none of that but i
didn't know what it was until i got a little
older and i was like mother that mother that
yeah and but now there is a lot of that around
some of them are good people i get it No, there's
a lot of that around there. No, I don't fuck
with them people. I've had motherfuckers come
up to me and how I talk and how I dress and all
that shit. Oh, I know you have. He's had a lot,
too. No, seriously. Yeah, they'll come up to
you, and if you ain't careful, what they're looking
for is weak -minded dudes, weak -minded motherfuckers,
and they think that how I talk and the shit that
I say on stage and all that is, dude, he's just
going through it. No, motherfucker. I am fully
aware of what the fuck is going on. And I ain't
going to join your goddamn operation, you piece
of shit motherfucker. So you got to make a stand
with them and then, you know, I don't care if
they're ever mad at me and they can fucking suck
my dick for real. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Can we
do a plan? Line up and suck Brandon's dick too.
Yeah. What? But I have had fucking clans members
and actual Nazis that you wouldn't think that
they're Nazis. They're not skinhead. They're
not, they're none of that shit, but they'll be.
What's the appearance difference between a Nazi
and then like a KKK guy? I've only known one
Nazi that actually tried to influence not only
me, but a lot of other people. And, well, they
have higher education. This one had higher education
than a lot of other ones, but he was always afraid.
Not afraid. He didn't ever want to say his fucked
up views himself. He wanted other people to say
his fucked up views. And I started thinking.
And this was at the very beginning. And I was
thinking, this motherfucker's fucked up. And
things would just start coming to me. And he
would say different other. I can't explain it
well right now. It ended up being that he would
be talking about the Jews. Let's hear him out
first. What? No, no. I'm just kidding. Well,
he was in a group message, and he said, the problem
lies with the people who follow Star David or
some bullshit like that. And I had enough. And
I said, dude, are you a white supremacist? And
he was fucking with an artist that I knew. And
the artist was painting a picture for him. He
was commissioning a painting for him. And so
after I found out that he was a white supremacist
and I damn got off the group chat, blocked his
ass and all that, I called that artist. I was
like, dude, you don't need to be hanging out
with that dude. He's a fucking white supremacist.
He was like, dude, I got something to tell you.
I was like, well, what do you got to tell me,
man? He was like, well, come over. I was like,
well, come over, man. And I'm not going to say
his name or anything like that. But this guy,
the artist was in a real low place, too, because
he didn't have no friends. When we came along,
he felt like he was a part of something. And
he felt, you know, he was family to us or whatever,
you know. And so he came over. And I told him,
I was like, dude, I think he's a white supremacist
and all that. He's a dude. He's a Nazi. I was
like, how is he a Nazi? He was telling me the
pros and cons of Hitler and telling me how much
better things would have been if Hitler was around,
if we followed his ideology and all this stuff.
Now, this dude, he don't strike you as that type.
He don't strike you as that type. That's what
I'm saying. And then I said, I said, dude, he's
like, I was only hanging out with him because
I thought y 'all was all like that. I was like,
no, I'm not nothing like that. At all. And he
said, man, he got me to hide a swastika in his
painting. And he gave me $650. He gave me $650
to hide a swastika in his painting. And I said,
well, fuck. He is a Nazi. He is a fucking Nazi.
And he was like, dude. Yeah, man. I didn't know.
I was like, do I fucking talk like I love Hitler
and him? Like, kinda. Kinda. I'm like, god damn,
dude. You motherfuckers got... Yeah, they got
me fucked up, man. They got me fucked up. You
were kind of a dotsy for a little while. You
didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know. I
didn't know. I got hoodooed. I got hoodooed.
But no, that's how easy it can happen. And that's
how easy that shit can just slip right in if
you're not careful. You're telling me. It happens.
But yeah, publicly, fuck Nazis, fuck white supremacists.
I'm not that. So don't be trying to recruit me.
Oh, you guys were talking about slipping one
in. I'm going to slip one out right now laughing
so hard, man. I think usually what Right now,
Brandon's pants and underwear around his ankles
while he pisses. Oh, it's one of them kindergartners.
Maybe he pisses like a kindergartner. He pisses
like a kindergartner. That's one way to describe
it. Yes, he does. Yeah, pissing like a first
grader. You can hear his belt buckle hit the...
Brandon, why are there chips out of my toilet
seat? Oh, shit. Buckle hits floor. That's our
boy. Dude, I love the setup. I appreciate it.
I love the setup. JJ wanted Dennis. Is that his
actual height? No, I don't think so. It was like
a .75. Three -fourths replica. But this is his
actual height. Hobbit size. But yeah, he wanted
Dennis, so I was like, I'd be down if I don't
get Kim. Hell yeah. It fits perfect. I don't
know why they didn't do this on Bad Friends.
No, yeah. It seems like some shit they would
do, so it's great that y 'all thought of it first.
Is that even still going? It is. We don't hear
about it much. Bad Friends? Yeah. Yeah, you know,
I don't. And I used to watch it almost all the
time. The clips is great. Yeah, it's good. It
still is? Yeah, I just got back into it. They
have really funny guests on. Good. They had John
Cena on one of their episodes. Oh, really? Who,
John Cena? Exactly. Yeah, okay, okay. That was
like a few months ago, I think. Boom. He heard
John Cena. He bust through the door. Boom. Brandon,
what are your thoughts on what happened at WrestleMania,
dude? Yeah. Okay, hold on. Let's break it down
for us. I'm shocked. Did you watch WrestleMania?
Quite. What was the most shocking to you? Oh,
well, with the John Cena thing. Because, I mean,
I didn't think he was going to win. I thought
this was his last match. This means I can still
see him, maybe. So you get one more time with
John Cena? Yes. Because why? Because, I mean,
he won the championship, so now he's still here.
So that means he has to wrestle again. Yes. And
you saw he's with Randy Orton again. So it's
like 2009 backlash, man. Damn, dude. How old
were you in 2009? Have y 'all ever been to a
WrestleMania? No, but I've been to wrestling
matches. That's it. Just the live ones. That's
the next. The next thing, if we hit a certain
number or we get a certain thing, we're sending
Brandon. You can guarantee that. I mean, he will
be there. Hell, yeah. I couldn't imagine his
face, the overall. The excitement and the joy.
I might cry. I might start tearing up. You better
record. You better record. That's expensive.
That's like $3 ,000. It'll be later. Yeah, like
for some seats. It's like $3 ,200. But that's
probably not even the bottom seats. No, I don't
think it is. I think that's like probably $900
maybe. $900 for nosebleeds? Maybe, but I have
heard they were all like at least $1 ,000. I
think they're far more expensive than $3 ,000
for the rings. How long is WrestleMania? Two
days. Oh, two. It used to be one event. Now it's
two days. Yeah, it's two days. Remember like
whenever like Undertaker threw, I don't know,
one of them things, big things that happened.
That was like one event, like one pay -per -view.
Now it's two full days on Peacock or some shit.
Yeah, Peacock now, which I love because it's
like, dude, before then, back in the day, you
know, back in like 2009, we were young. Back
in the day. You had to pay like $60, so I'd miss
out. No, my bad, $80. Damn. Hell yeah, they were
like $80 to $100 when I was a kid. Yeah, man.
Now it's just $10 a month. I used to just hear
what happened, and then a lot of people at school
told them I seen it. You know what I'm saying?
I'm like, oh, I heard Owen Hart died. I'm like,
dude, I seen it. I've seen it live. I've seen
Owen Hart break his dick. I saw it. I paused
it. Wait, for real? You saw it for real? Well,
I remember when it happened, and hey. Fell off,
and I watched the replays on the news. Yeah.
But they cut that. It's hard to find. You can't
find that now. Well, I mean, because he died.
They captured that shit. Him dying like a motherfucker.
Yeah, I look for it. Terrible, man. Yeah. Man,
did y 'all ever watch, okay, maybe that'd be
a dark turn to take. What? I was talking about
Faces of Death. Oh, shit. I grew up on Faces
of Death. Everybody did. That's a terrible thing.
Bad from TV. All of them, dog. I've watched them
all multiple times. Just be like, just fascinated
with like, damn, that's a 40s. 40 -story building
they just fell from and I can't stop watching.
That's my favorite one. That's my favorite. That's
my number one. It's the funniest. Well, not the
favorite. It's the funniest. Okay, so how do
you, do you watch it now? Can you watch stuff
like that now? If I got those tapes, I would
watch them right back and yeah, yeah. I mean,
I don't know. I mean, it's been so long, but
pretty much Twitter's face to death now. Yes,
it is. You see so much death on Twitter, dude?
I don't even got Twitter. Yeah. No, dude. It's
bad now. It sucks now. It sucks now. Elon got,
I don't know what it is, but it's all porn. Yeah.
I don't know if it's like that for everybody,
but it won't stop. You know what I mean? I know
what you mean. You don't get any? Well, I turn
it off. Oh, but it's not like good. It's not
like you'll be like, you know what I'm saying?
You're out. I'm at the DMV. I'm like, Jesus Christ.
I didn't want to check and see what happened
at the draft. I don't want to see just busted.
No, no warning. $3 .45. It gets bad, but... What's
the one you remember the most? Man, I just remember
car wrecks and all that shit. Okay. At one point
in my life, I loved seeing that. I loved seeing
that shit. And now, I fucking... I can't watch
it. They can't watch it at all. I'm not saying
that I'm holier -than -thou now. I just don't
want to see motherfuckers getting their head
cut off. No, yeah, yeah. I think it's bad for
your soul, man. I think it's bad for your soul,
dude. I'm dark as hell. It's dark as shit. God,
we got to get you to lie. It's definitely not.
It's not good. And how old were you when you
were probably watching this? I was in high school.
Okay, yeah. And I'm 37. Yeah, I'm 37, too. I
was watching it. We got those in, I think we
got our hands on those in sixth grade. Because
a member. It is fucked up, ain't it? Yeah, because
at Family Video. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right,
so at Family Video, it would be like $2, $4 movies.
And so we used to go there, and these were always
in the $2, $4. Now, of course, we couldn't rent
them, so we just put them in another case, go
out there, rent them, and then turn them back
in. But we saw all of these no less than. Every
single one, probably no less than 50 times. 50
times. We have watched them all. I know them
by heart. I haven't seen it in 20 -something
years. I know certain ones verbatim. I know exactly
how it starts. I know the inflection of their
voice. I'm not a Black Bomb soldier. While you're
watching that, you're getting your dad's hustlers
and shit, the magazines. Those are not wires
you want to cross. No, no, no, no. Yeah, damn,
that's a good point. You don't want to cross
them wires at all. Yeah, dude, that's where snuff
films come. Hell yeah. I think they had one of
those on there, but they didn't show it. I'm
glad they kept it PG. For some reason, Tonya
Harding's sex tape was on there. It was the last
one of one of the either Face of Death. Oh, Faces
of Death? Yeah, Face of Death or Banned from
TV. They were kind of the same thing. Oh. And
it was on one of those. They had... Yeah, Tonya
Harding's sex tape with... Did y 'all watch that
movie? I don't fucking know the dude. It wasn't
good either. Huh? I imagine she just starfished,
huh? What's up? Did y 'all watch the movie with
Margot Robbie? Great movie. Yeah, yeah. So good.
I, Tonya. I, Tonya, yeah. I, Tonya. Man. How
that competitive figure skating. So she stabbed
Nancy Kerrigan, right? No, she hit her. She had
her bodyguard. Actually, yes. Beat her legs.
Beat her legs. And then it fucked up the other
girl even more. It was Tanya Harden. She did
it to Nancy. Kerrigan. Kerrigan. Yeah. So when
she hit her in the leg, you know, she got out
of that one. She got suspended. Big, big debacle.
And then afterwards, the next time, she did the
best. Nancy Kerrigan did the best, but all the
judges were like, we can't give it to her because
everybody's going to think we, for sympathy reasons.
Like, so she lost out on two of them because
she wanted to beat her legs. Damn. Jeez. Now
she's on, like, doing shit like Survivor. She
is. Celebrity Survivor. She did one of them.
She did something. Yeah. Hell yeah. Check that
out. What were you finna say? No, no, no. I was
just saying what's new with you, man? What's
new with me? You know, just striving for life.
Make it. How's the training going? Training's
going good. People want the updates, man. We're
almost done. I just got to pass this last test
and I made it. Well, you need a 79? Yep. At least
a 79. Then I made it, and we just wait for this
fire department to open up. Oh, there you go.
You're going to be a firefighter? Yep, that's
my goal. Oh, man. Awesome. How hard is that physical
test? Oh, man, dude, I haven't got to it yet,
but I heard. So probably that's not even the
hardest thing. The hardest thing is just that
interview because you could pass that. You could
pass the written exam. Once you get in that interview,
they got to like you. Two comments. Syfy and
Charlie, both Charlie Swisher, they both failed
the interview part. Yeah. Oh, really? Mm -hmm.
So is it psychological? Yes. Top interview or
whatever. Are they doing a socket bow during
this interview? So basically what they say is
you'll have two people in there, like a captain
and one other person, and they just ask you a
bunch of questions like, why do you want to do
it and stuff like, are you okay with seeing deaths
and things like that. It's just how you answer
it. I heard a lot of people say it's kind of
like a stress thing, so they say you're like.
really stressed out or stuff like that. And they'd
be like, ah, maybe not this guy. Brandon won't
be stressed at all. You won't be stressed in
the slightest. We'll train you. You'll watch
these Faces of Death videos. Oh, I've already
seen them. But that's great, though. I love that
approach. I love that approach, that interview
tactic that they're doing. Because, I mean, have
you ever seen a dead body? No. Not yet. Almost.
Well, I mean. Just some videos. Anyways. Yeah.
I think you'll be a great firefighter. Man, I
truly appreciate it. And you run every day? Oh,
yeah, I run, work out. He'd been doing the vest
on the stairs. So what kind of workout? Are you
doing, like, just heavy weights, or are you doing
push -ups and, like, shit that you can actually
use? Yeah, I'll do everything. So I'll do, of
course, like, chest presses, and I'll do the
stair chair. I'll hit the bag for at least I'll
do five -minute rounds of, like, 15 minutes of
the bag. So, like, work on cardio. I started
doing a spin bike. And then, yeah, just working
on weights and a combination of both. And now
I'm trying to find a trail that I could, like,
walk on around my, what is it, weight of this?
Because I just walk around the neighborhood with
that. And my thing is I want to find a good national
park where there's not too many copperheads that
could bite me and I step on. Don't worry about
the copperheads. You'll be fine. I'll be fine.
Yeah, but just find a trail. Just any trail that
goes up a little mountain. Okay, so what's around
here? What's good? What's the parks around here?
They got some, man. I can look them up. Well,
I'm from, got all kinds of shit that you can
run and stuff. And Huntsville, well, Huntsville
and what is Bankhead? What is Bankhead? Who?
Bankhead National Forest. I searched that up.
Ain't that close to here? You can go to Montesano.
Montesano. Yeah, I've always wanted to go to
Montesano. Have you been? It's real pretty up
there. I haven't. Is it? It's nice. Good hiking
and stuff? Oh, yeah. And waterfalls up in Montesano?
Not that I've seen, but. There might be. Huh,
where is that at? Location, though. Brandon,
you just be careful when you go to these parks,
man. Why? Because you, like, you know, your condition.
What condition? Where you attract certain groups
of people. What kind of group? Don't lay me on
red on that. What kind of groups of people? Brandon
has an ability to attract child predators in
his direction. Oh, okay. I can see that. I can
see that. I can see that. His childlike innocence.
I know. Yeah, he's ready for grooming. He's ready
to get groomed. Take him to the groomers. Yeah.
I guess Slaughter Road, I heard there's a good
trail of slaughter. So where's Bankhead at? An
hour away from here. Oh, okay. So, but Montesano,
yeah. That's pretty close. I know my mom's house.
It's like, I just got to go down there. Is it
a mountain? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did he run up that
bad boy? Paid or not? I don't think it's paved.
Is it paved? No. Not paved at all? No. Not the
trail. More good ankle support then. Hell yeah.
I imagine you don't smoke because you're going
to be a firefighter, right? No weed. Yeah. Well,
that's great. I like smoking when I get high.
You like smoking when you get high? Yeah, yeah.
Ding, ding. Yeah. No, I like smoking and getting
high and running. I like swimming. Okay, okay.
Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Brandon, you can do
that right there, the date night scavenger hunt
in Noble Springs, dude. You run around, find
some stuff, get a date in. Go geocaching. Let's
see what that's about. What's geocaching? It's
what older people do. Well, that's right up my
alley. Yeah, you're an old soul, aren't you?
Yeah, he's the youngest. I'm like 50. Hell yeah.
Dom, you should do this on the first date. What
is this double spring scavenger hunt? You don't
want to see me run on the first date. It would
be bad. Or even get tired. What's going to happen?
Regardless. We need to be in a nice air conditioning
room. Please read it for me. Double up on adventure
and spring into action with Double Springs Alabama
Scavenger Hunt. This lively quest. We'll have
you exploring the downtown neighborhoods like
never before. Unearthing hidden gems and intriguing
stories. Don't worry about getting lost. We promise
no deja vu stops at two Indianas. No, my bad.
Two Indians. I don't know where Indiana came
from. Two Indians or elementary. Signage. Is
that what that is right there? Signage. Signage.
This is crazy. Why can't you just say the shit?
Just exhilarating discoveries woven throughout
the charming town. Prepared a serenade by the
musical historical Seabourn, M. Denson, and Thomas
J. Denson as your journey through the harmonious
streets. that make Double Action Springs, Alabama
Scavengers such an unforgettable event. Where
did action come from? That's not what that is.
It just says Double Springs. They don't have
Reagan on the damn test. I know, right? They
don't have Reagan on the damn test. I think he's
got a great heart. I think he's a good dude.
I think he would do great for this. I think he'd
be great for the community. I really do. I know
you're going to do great, buddy. Dude, he's going
to get so many donations for the fire department,
dude. Go fund me. Yeah, he's going to be crying.
He's going to be getting a tip bucket. How many
times has Brandon been hit with a bless your
heart in his life? All my life. All your life?
Probably. What do you mean? You don't remember?
I mean, there's people that probably said it
when I walk away. I don't know. Bless his heart.
Hey, bless his heart. Bless his heart. These
don't go far. You got through that. We don't
know how far. Yeah, we made it. Yeah. Well, hold
on. Did you get the last sentence? Oh, yeah.
You're right on. Let's finish this. Okay. So
grab your friends, put on your detective hats,
and create lifelong memories all while explaining
the vibrant spirit of Devil Springs and thrilling.
The fun -filled way. Okay. So get your tickets
now and begin your exciting escape. Escape. What
the fuck? In the frailing southern gym. So this
is supposed to be normal for normal people, and
they had no idea. That's the shit. This is AI.
Why you gotta be this classy? Like, I'm just
trying to... He said it's supposed to be normal.
My goodness, don't kids read this? For a date
night? Oh, yeah, you're right. My bad. Oh, yeah,
my bad. It's a date night. You're trying to be
a scrab again. Oh, dude. Ask ChatGPT what grade
level that's written in. Yeah, crop it. Let's
see. What do you got? I guess. 10th grade. 10th
grade? 10th grade. What do you think it is? I'd
say 8th. All right. I'm going to go. I think
it's. I'm going to go 9th. I'm going to go in
the middle. There we go. Split it. Split the
coconut. What did you guess, Don? 9th. He prices
right. Yeah, I do think 10th is right. If it's
5th, I'm going to be so pissed off. 7th and 9th.
Oh, we both got it. Oh, shit. Let's go. Let's
go. I was struggling at that time. But check
Alabama education. Oh, yeah. Dude, you were exactly
right. Alabama education. It's going to be doctorate.
9th through 10th now. Are you fucking serious?
Grade level? That's good to know. Die through
10th. Hold on. There's a different scale for
Alabama? That is wild. I did not know that. I
didn't either. I do now. That's awful. New York?
Say rank the school systems. What's the worst
school system? Yeah, what's the worst school
system in America? What state has the worst school
system? Yeah, yeah, there you go, there you go.
It's either Alabama or Mississippi. It's definitely
in the south. It's definitely down here. Yeah,
probably. Isn't it Mississippi? Is Mississippi
the poorest state, though? I think they're the
poorest state. I think so. Well, Brad Farr still
got some money out of them. Yeah, hell yeah,
he did. Wow, okay, so New Mexico and Mississippi.
Not even that bottom two. That's good. We're
probably number three. You got Kentucky in there.
Louisiana. Louisiana. I can't see them being
too far up. They got LSU, though, right? Well,
no. I mean, that's just a school. You're right.
You're right. Yeah, before the college is the
real struggle push right there. That's what makes
it great. Well, not in bottom two, so. Let's
go. At least better than Mexico. I mean, New
Mexico. New Mexico. Mexico, too. Yeah, New Mexico.
Mississippi. Y 'all ever been out west? Nope.
Yeah. Have you worked? Yellowstone. Dude. The
Rockies. All right, so tell me about Yellowstone
and the Rockies. I want to go up this bucket
list for me. He got left there when he was a
kid, and he grew up in... Joe Dirt. Hey, Joe
Dirt. Hey, Joe Dirt is way through life. Well,
look at you now. I'm right here, dude. Yeah.
Clown College podcast. Not doing well. So has
Yellowstone got... It's the big waterfall and
the geyser, right? Yeah, Old Faithful. Old Faithful,
okay. Yosemite has got the down... Trees. Yeah.
The big -ass trees. The sequoias? That's what
I want to say. Have you ever seen them? No, I
didn't go out there. Damn. So how was Yellowstone?
Yellowstone was awesome, dude. They got big -ass
animals. Like, I seen a grizzly bear. Oh, no.
A wolf. Did you camp out there? My grandma took
me on a bus tour when I was like 14. Me and a
whole bunch of senior citizens. We went for like
16 days on this bus tour out west. We went to
Rocky's Yellowstone, like the Amana colonies
in Iowa and all that shit. And Pokemon Go, it
just came out. So I was really just trying to
catch all the Pokemon I could. Oh, shit. You
was catching the shit out of them. Oh, hell yeah.
They're beautiful out there, but Pokemon Go,
I like that more. did y 'all stop a lot for people
to piss though with all them senior citizens
oh yeah it was bad it was constant because they
can't control did they mess themselves not that
I was aware of but they come prepared on long
term trips I think the Knoxville tours and the
Depends have like a grand deal but some old people
she refuses Like, she wasn't wearing the tube
prideful to wear them. Yeah. I'm like, dude,
I'd wear one right now if I was going to, like,
a game. I was thinking about it. I could use
one right now. Yeah. I could fucking use a diaper
right now. When you're at, like, games and shit.
I mean, you just don't want to piss on you. But
if they got a good brand that you can just piss
on, yeah. You don't want to fucking run out.
You might miss a play. Especially if it's cold.
That's another sponsor idea. Motherfucker, there's
another sponsor idea. One that you piss in and
you can, like, unclick it and empty it into the...
Yeah, that's how you can market it to the youth.
That's how you can market it to the youth. And
everybody would. Yeah. I mean, not like the youth
that has to have diapers, but like everybody.
Once they go to concerts and shit. I wear it.
Hell, yeah, man. Yeah, I definitely wear it.
All right, Tyler, we appreciate you having so
much on. He put the ghostly Muhammad Ali back.
You got anything to promote? Anything you want
to say? Oh, I've got a show next Saturday that
I'm hosting in Anniston. It's Sinclair Social,
May 3rd at 8 p .m. We got Syfy. And Charles Hood.
Charles was requested. Charles is a monster.
I wanted Syfy on the show because I fucking love
Syfy and I know that he's a beast. He's going
to headline. Well, go last. He's going to go
last on it. Took away your headline. I did tell
Syfy, I said, hey man, you want to do 20 to 30
minutes? He said, well, hell yeah. I was like,
I know he can do it. He's going to be doing 20
to 30 minutes. Charles is going to do 15. And
if he's crushing, which I know he will, he can
do 20. Hell yeah. And I know he can do 20. But
it's at Sinclair Social at 8 p .m. this Saturday,
May 3rd, in Anniston, Alabama. And after that
is an open mic. It's an open mic, and I don't
think a lot of people are going to show up for
it, but if a lot of people ain't and some veteran
comics want to get up and do some time, work
out some new stuff, that would be the place to
do it. Okay, hell yeah. All right, check them
out. What's your pod? The No Insurance Podcast,
right now on Spotify and Facebook, but Spotify.
Spotify, and we're only sound right now. hell
yeah we're getting shit as we go In this economy,
you have to. You have to. You fucking have to.
And I love y 'all's setup, by the way. Appreciate
it, man. I'm proud of you guys, and y 'all was
great to talk to, and it was a privilege to be
on here. Man, it's a privilege to have you, buddy.
I mean that, or I wouldn't fucking say it, man.
Hell yeah. It was a pleasure talking to you guys.
Hell yeah. This was great, man. We appreciate
it. Go check them out. Tyler Pereira. Hold on.
I know. Gonorrhea. Gonorrhea. Yeah, man. Gonorrhea.
I did. There we are. We good? Hate Scrappy -Doo.