WEBVTT

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This week on Clown College. Like Willis versus

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the Supreme Court. Or Willis versus the United

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States. United States versus B. Willis. The people

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versus Brandon Willis. You're going against the

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people, bro. The children versus Brandon Willis.

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Oh, no. No, thank you. You're fighting the good

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fight. This is free speech. It's your own pictures.

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Should you be able to sell pictures of yourself

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when you were younger? No. Hello, Brandon. Hey,

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how you doing? Doing great, man. All right. How's

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your day, Brandon? Hey, man, I woke up this morning.

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That's all that matters. That's all that matters.

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Dude, you're already talking like an EMS. Yeah,

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dude. That is how they fucking talk. I just need

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my cigarette break every five seconds. Oh, hey.

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Don't talk about them. Nobody does that. I'm

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just joking. First of all. Nobody says that.

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That was just a joke. You ever hit your vape

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in an ambulance? No. You ever blow the smoke

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directly into a patient's face? Never, man. Never.

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During CPR? That's how you lose your job. They

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have anything much air they can get. Inhale it

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and then blow it directly into their mouth. You

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will be out. Just like that. What's the worst

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thing you've seen someone do to somebody else?

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They can't talk about it. Yeah, that's a hippopotamus.

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I thought you were talking about just in general.

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I meant in life. Oh, in life? Yeah. I like this.

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I had an instructor. That was, like, my MMA coach.

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He told me he beat some dude up and knocked him

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out. And then, like, assert dominance or something,

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he peed on him. Oh, yeah, you've mentioned that.

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I guess that's pretty rough. To assert dominance.

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Yeah, he was like, yeah, man, I did that. Because

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he was like, imagine being like that. But what

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is something that you've seen? Oh, that I've

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seen. That you've personally seen somebody do

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to somebody else? I guess my first year and,

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like, maybe. I guess this is pretty bad. I guess

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we'll just throw one out there. There's a lot

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of stuff that's crazy. But, like, one thing I

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remember, I was, like, six years old, and I was,

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like, at this, uh, I was trying to buy some candy

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in the snack shack and get, like, some, uh, Sour

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Patch Kids. And this was, like, my first day

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there, and I heard, like, Glass Break. And this

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kid was, like, this dude, he was, like, in middle

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school. So he was, like, tall as hell, man. He

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was big. It's like Dom's side. And he was coming

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around. He was like, oh, shit. Oh, he was crying.

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Everybody was surrounding him. It was like, I

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was bleeding out. And they were trying to get

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him in the nurse's office to calm him down. What

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happened to his eye? Oh, well, it must have happened

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because, like, remember, he got frowned. So the

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cafeteria, when they were fighting. We're not

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there. So when they were fighting, there was

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a cafeteria. There was a glass wall. And they

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threw him through the glass wall. So maybe he

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cut his eye with some of the glass. Did you say

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that before? No. Oh, okay. He said, you know...

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He told him backwards. It's all good. Was he

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fighting the Incredible Hulk? I don't know who

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the fuck he was fighting. Then another scene

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where, like, the nerd, the PE coach, trying to

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hold his kid's head in while he was crying because

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he, like, busted his head open on the trampoline.

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And I was going to art class, and I was just

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watching. This isn't at all what I meant. You

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talking about that little one? Yeah, and he,

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like, jumped in. He, like, boom, cracked it wide

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open. This isn't at all what I meant. And they

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were, like, holding his head in. She was like,

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it's okay, baby. He was just screaming and stuff.

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I'm like, I'm trying to go to art class. And

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then there was blood all over the floor. You

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were making great EMT. Yeah, man, that was in,

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like, second grade. Mm -hmm. And they came back

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with, like, these staples and stuff. We were

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like, oh, shit, look at you. We got shit split

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open. Oh, wide open. She was holding it in. They

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call him Frankenstein? I called him Frankenstein.

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You were bullying him, Brandon? No, we were friends.

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I was the one getting bullied at that time. I

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was young and didn't know stuff, and people thought

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I was slow. Yeah, so usually when somebody bullies

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you, you bully somebody else. No, man, I didn't

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bully him. I didn't bully nobody, man. I didn't

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believe in that. You said you called him Frankenstein.

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Well, because we all joked around, man. Like,

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we all joked around. If I came with Staples,

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you guys would be like Frankenstein. I would

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say Chucky. I would go Chucky. Look at that.

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See? You already got ideas. So that's just friends

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being friends. What's the worst thing you've

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ever seen, Don, that you can talk about? Ah,

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damn. I don't know, man. The worst thing I've

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ever seen. I don't know why I asked. This is

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horrible. This is the worst thing. I thought

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Brandon was going to say gay marriage. Oh, no.

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I don't know. You guys go. When I saw that homeless

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guy kill that other guy. That was terrible. That

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was a pretty shitty thing to do. That's a good

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one. I don't know why I asked this. This is a

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good topic. Yeah, it is. I don't know. I've not

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seen anything bad. I've seen people die, but

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I don't think it's the worst thing. Yeah, it's

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not the worst. You know what I mean? It wasn't

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the worst thing when I see him because he had

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dropped dead, drank too many Red Bulls, and tried

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to run. Oh, my God. That's actually crazy. Was

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it you? Was it you watching your show? Dude,

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that's why I will never drink a Red Bull before

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I work out, even though I will take pre -workout,

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which I know is 10 times worse. I drank a Red

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Bull before I work out today. Well, he drunk

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like three, like the big boys, and then went

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running in 140 degree heat. Boop. Well, yeah,

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that's the dumbest. All you saw was dust come

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up, and he was eventually became dust. Probably

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by now he's definitely dust. You're saying he

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was in Afghanistan when he did it? So he got

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fucked up on three Red Bulls. Afghani Red Bulls.

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And then ran in the fucking desert and died?

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Yeah. I don't even. I don't believe. That's what

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I'm saying. It's not like the worst. I mean,

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I've seen worse. I can't say them because they

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are people that I know. And, you know. Yeah,

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yeah, yeah. Statue of Libertation. That's not,

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though. You'll have to go back home eventually.

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Yeah, I will. Really soon. Yeah, yeah. I'll see

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them, so I can't. You know, sometimes people

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get kicked down the stairs. True. Significant

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others. True. If you love somebody. All I cut

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is you saying we'll cut this part out. I mean,

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dude, I've seen one time we were at basketball,

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like playing basketball, and it's like there

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was a fight that broke out. And we were all like

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kids, right? We were all like 10. And then he

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had a sister that was like 18. And she got mad

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because they started fighting and wild out and

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then drove on the grass and tried to run us all

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over with her car. Oh, my God. Oh, you have talked

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about that. That's actually hilarious. I know,

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but it's just retarded every time I think about

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it. Yeah. And then the people outside didn't

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say nothing until we almost got hit. And they

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said, I'm going to call the cops. I'm like, you

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could have done that before. Yeah. He's a good

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dude, though. I love it. He was a good dude.

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He was. Yeah, he's a good guy. Hey, Brandon,

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nice shirt, man. Thanks, man. I lost some weight.

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Mm, I see. You look like you had to have surgery

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to lose that much weight. Oh, man, yeah, man.

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Yeah, I used to have a different name, too, back

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in the day. What was it? Pat. Damn, Pat, you

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look skinny, man. Thanks, man. Yeah, man, you

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know, holding them down. Mm -hmm. Holding who

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down? Told you I was on X -Men. Throwing them

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superheroes down. Oh, my gosh, dude. Oh, my Lord.

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I've seen two of the funniest tweets I've seen

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in my life recently. I don't know why. I never

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remember tweets, but I remember these two. One

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was of Chris Brown dancing on, like, his newest

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tour. He's doing, like, a crazy corkscrew and,

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like, a backflip. Yeah. A bunch of athletic shit,

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and somebody just retweeted it and said, Rihanna

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never stood a chance. He's doing fucking backflips.

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He's on, like, his anniversary tour, so, yeah.

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Anniversary, huh? Like 20 years of being Chris

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Brown. No, not since he whooped Rihanna's ass.

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That would be a crazy tour. That would be a crazy

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tour. To promote it. That's not illegal, too.

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That's horrible. It's not illegal. It's not illegal

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at all. In fact, I want to do it now just because

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it's legal. Oh, man. I mean, you got to think.

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First of all, what is she, Panamanian or some

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shit like that? Trinidad and Tobago. She's spicy.

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She was beating his ass. I'm going to tell you

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that now. She was 17. Huh? She was 17. He was

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17. He was 19. Huh? He was 19. Dude, but think

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about if she headbutted you. Oh, man. Your life's

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going to be over, man. You're going to be a whole

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different man. Yeah. You're going to be challenged.

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I let her headbutt me. Nationality. I bet some

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people are into that. There's definitely somebody

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who wants to get hit. Now, you're telling me

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she wasn't fucking him up? Maybe a little bit.

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It was scratches all over, I'm telling you. But,

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you know, he did do wrong. I'm not saying he

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didn't do wrong, but... What? I'm saying you

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don't know the whole story. Oh, okay. I see.

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Yeah, dude. I don't think I need to, to be honest.

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Yeah, I'm not saying he was wrong, because you're

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not supposed to, you know, you can't hit women.

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Was this a big deal when it happened? Oh, God,

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yes. Oh, my God. I didn't know if we were past

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that point already. Oh, we're past it now. Like,

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I'm saying, like, if a star at the level of Chris

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Brown, it came out that he was, like, hitting

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his wife, that'd be, like, a really big deal.

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Exactly. But it was back then, too. It's been

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15 years. Really? And people are just now. They

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just referenced it on Saturday Night Live. He

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just sold out a world tour. Yeah. Well, he's

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still popular. I mean, R. Kelly was selling out

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world tours. They had the VHS tape going around

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of him peeing on an underage girl. Pull it up.

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Did he know? Did he know what? That she was underage.

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Come on. Man, he asked. I was just asking. They

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asked him. They were like, do you like teenagers?

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He's 50 years old. He's like. When you say teenagers.

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How old do you mean? Yeah, how old do you mean?

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You've seen that, right? No. What? Oh, my God.

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Look up R. Kelly teenager interview. Oh, it's

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the best. Oh, I can't believe you've never seen

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this. No, I've never seen that. Have you seen

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the one where he's denying hog tying them? No.

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Oh, my God. I've only ever seen where he's crying

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and talking to Gail Keane. Yes, that's the one.

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Hog tie? I don't know how to hog tie. Okay, I

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do think I've seen that. Okay, yeah, press balls.

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That's R. Kelly? No. You're so racist. Why is

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this Facebook video shit popping up? That's so

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weird. Oh, and this didn't work. That's so weird.

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Are you ready? Yeah. Yeah. See? This is what

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it did to me on Bryson's Sci -Fi Show. Hey, turn

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on in the corner. Hold up, yo. No. So we go all

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here. Yeah, but in the corner of the video. No,

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he did that. He did that. This is what I was

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doing on Bryson's Sci -Fi Show. No, in the volume

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in the corner of the video. Oh, right. Yeah.

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I know. He just did that. No, he didn't. Yes,

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he did. Yeah, I did. Oh, okay. I'm telling you.

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Watch. It's going to go right back to... See?

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Okay. That's what it was doing on the Bryson's

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Sci -Fi Show. Let me back up and just pull up

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a YouTube. Oh, there we go. When you say teenage,

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how old are we talking? Girls who are teenagers.

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19? 19 and younger. I have some 19 -year -old

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friends, but I don't like anybody illegal if

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that's what we're talking about, the age. How

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old was he in that video? It looks 50. Yo, why'd

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the interviewer look like Jay went a little bit?

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They did. Like, dude. Not R. Kelly, the interviewer.

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Oh my God, dude. They got the interviewer. His

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name is Tore. Hell yeah. You like him? Tore?

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I don't know anything about Tore, man. He looks

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like Jalen, though. You got to get a bit of a

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doubt. I do. Then yes, man. Shout out Jalen.

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Shout out Jalen Brown, my guy. Jalen should do

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one of those predator catching YouTube channels,

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but he just talks to them and makes them feel

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bad. Yeah. He's like, man, what are you doing?

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Dude, those dudes are going crazy. They start

00:12:56.769 --> 00:12:59.210
beating up slow people. They're beating up slow

00:12:59.210 --> 00:13:02.509
people, bro. I'm worried for our friends. We

00:13:02.509 --> 00:13:07.149
bet not. Who would it be? Not you, Dante. What?

00:13:07.580 --> 00:13:13.419
Imagine Jake. Jake would never. Oh, yeah, Jake

00:13:13.419 --> 00:13:17.480
would fucking. I would be hurt if I found out

00:13:17.480 --> 00:13:19.659
one of my coworkers. Okay, that's the worst thing.

00:13:19.860 --> 00:13:23.559
In the Army, he was the S6 guy who were the computer

00:13:23.559 --> 00:13:26.700
guys, right? Whole FBI showed up to the fucking

00:13:26.700 --> 00:13:29.399
brigade and took him out. Like, fucking five

00:13:29.399 --> 00:13:31.940
black vehicles. I was like, this motherfucker

00:13:31.940 --> 00:13:35.019
kill somebody? But he had, like, so much child

00:13:35.019 --> 00:13:37.279
porn. Oh, man. And he was distributing it out,

00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:39.039
like, on the dark web and, like, getting a lot

00:13:39.039 --> 00:13:42.480
of money from it. And he was just a regular guy.

00:13:42.600 --> 00:13:44.899
I mean, he was just a nice guy. Like, he's who

00:13:44.899 --> 00:13:46.799
you wanted to come fix your computer. Like Ian?

00:13:47.059 --> 00:13:52.210
Yes! Dude. Maybe not. No, no. No, because he

00:13:52.210 --> 00:13:56.250
wasn't funny. He was pure nice. You know that

00:13:56.250 --> 00:13:58.470
kind of person? Yeah. It'd be like Brandon. If

00:13:58.470 --> 00:14:00.970
you heard Brandon, I did that. You'd be hurt.

00:14:01.090 --> 00:14:03.230
You'd be like, dude, I fucking love Conrad or

00:14:03.230 --> 00:14:04.929
whatever. Brandon would go to jail for child

00:14:04.929 --> 00:14:14.419
porn of him. No. Okay, Brandon. That's the sequel

00:14:14.419 --> 00:14:19.820
to the Dan Price. Lucky, unlucky guy. You want

00:14:19.820 --> 00:14:22.919
to see this? That's me. Oh my gosh. Oh my God.

00:14:23.419 --> 00:14:25.620
It would be horrible. Brett, dude, it would be

00:14:25.620 --> 00:14:29.879
like Willis versus the Supreme Court. Or Willis

00:14:29.879 --> 00:14:32.559
versus the United States. The United States versus

00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:35.200
B. Willis. The people versus Brandon Willis documentary.

00:14:35.840 --> 00:14:37.720
You're going against the people, bro. The children

00:14:37.720 --> 00:14:41.580
versus Brandon Willis. Oh, no. No, thank you.

00:14:41.960 --> 00:14:43.720
You're fighting the good fight. This is free

00:14:43.720 --> 00:14:48.240
speech. It's your own pictures. Yeah. Should

00:14:48.240 --> 00:14:50.379
you be able to sell pictures of yourself when

00:14:50.379 --> 00:14:53.419
you were younger? No. I'm just saying, as the

00:14:53.419 --> 00:14:55.000
law states, what should you be able to do? That's

00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:57.840
a very interesting question. This is wild. Could

00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:01.399
you sell your own? Could I sell my own? I don't.

00:15:01.659 --> 00:15:04.039
What do you think the law should state? I think

00:15:04.039 --> 00:15:07.460
whatever the law wants to do right now, I think

00:15:07.460 --> 00:15:09.139
the law should just do what they want to do.

00:15:09.259 --> 00:15:11.840
No, I'm saying, okay, so the law be you can't

00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:13.600
sell your own pictures of yourself? Yeah, I think

00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:16.139
that's the one. Yeah, I don't think we should

00:15:16.139 --> 00:15:17.500
be able to do that. Yeah, well, that's good.

00:15:17.539 --> 00:15:20.889
That's what you think. Yeah, I know. Yeah, man.

00:15:21.129 --> 00:15:23.009
That's crazy. Because that's horrible. Because

00:15:23.009 --> 00:15:24.470
that's horrible. That's crazy because there are

00:15:24.470 --> 00:15:26.330
going to be some people who hear that and go,

00:15:26.429 --> 00:15:31.389
it's a valid argument. It has bones to it. Especially

00:15:31.389 --> 00:15:33.509
the people buying it because why do they want

00:15:33.509 --> 00:15:36.370
to see that? Because they're, what are they called?

00:15:36.669 --> 00:15:39.429
Pedophiles. See, that's not good. Yeah. So instead

00:15:39.429 --> 00:15:41.629
of acting on their urges, they just look at you

00:15:41.629 --> 00:15:43.269
when you're a boy, even though you're a man now.

00:15:43.470 --> 00:15:46.149
That's what I was going to say. What if it helped

00:15:46.149 --> 00:15:48.730
them not offend? I don't think that's going to

00:15:48.730 --> 00:15:51.529
help. Brandon, you could help like 100 ,000 people

00:15:51.529 --> 00:15:53.389
not be pedophiles if you just gave them pictures

00:15:53.389 --> 00:15:54.769
of yourself when you were younger. That's not

00:15:54.769 --> 00:15:56.110
helping. And you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't

00:15:56.110 --> 00:15:58.330
save all these children. 100 ,000 children. That's

00:15:58.330 --> 00:15:59.419
not helping. them because they're going to see

00:15:59.419 --> 00:16:00.960
that and be like, ooh, I want to see more. And

00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:02.320
then just go venture out. And then they'll look

00:16:02.320 --> 00:16:05.299
up more. Yeah. And you just keep on sending them.

00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:09.100
I know you have plenty of Polaroids. You just

00:16:09.100 --> 00:16:10.899
got to source them from your immediate family.

00:16:10.899 --> 00:16:12.340
But then they're going to get tired of it. It's

00:16:12.340 --> 00:16:14.320
going to be like when somebody watches you, like,

00:16:14.340 --> 00:16:15.899
no, I'm pointing, but I want to see more and

00:16:15.899 --> 00:16:17.940
venture out. That's not, no, that's not good

00:16:17.940 --> 00:16:19.740
enough. Well, then we get them. Well, then, so

00:16:19.740 --> 00:16:24.059
then we... Cap them. If the law is this, where

00:16:24.059 --> 00:16:27.179
we allow them this much, we give them no more.

00:16:27.539 --> 00:16:30.279
And then it's straight firing squad. I don't

00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:33.519
trust it. You don't trust it? Nah, man, because

00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:35.080
I feel like, nah, then they're going to start

00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:37.259
being like, oh, I need to. That's like somebody

00:16:37.259 --> 00:16:40.879
that gets like a. Let me think right here. What's

00:16:40.879 --> 00:16:43.840
this? Alcohol, man. Well, this is water. But

00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:45.379
let's say somebody gets some alcohol or something,

00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:47.679
and they be like, oh, man, I want to try different

00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:50.120
voyages and different stuff. Oh, what if you're

00:16:50.120 --> 00:16:52.000
a gateway? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's

00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:58.240
like a gateway drug, man. To that bad other field

00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:00.700
of horrible stuff. I mean, it's bad either way.

00:17:00.759 --> 00:17:03.820
It's all bad. So you're saying you wouldn't give

00:17:03.820 --> 00:17:07.759
your pictures up to save 100 ,000 children? That's

00:17:07.759 --> 00:17:09.519
not going to save them, man. I'm just saying,

00:17:09.539 --> 00:17:12.059
would you though? Hypothetically, if it did.

00:17:12.279 --> 00:17:14.799
If you had to save the world? No, if it did what

00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:19.180
we're saying. Save the world. So let me ask everybody

00:17:19.180 --> 00:17:21.279
in the room, would y 'all do that? Would y 'all

00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:23.259
do that if it was going to save? Yes, I would.

00:17:23.259 --> 00:17:25.779
Then I would too. It's going to save the world.

00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:28.900
But I'm not going to be like, hey, man. I got

00:17:28.900 --> 00:17:32.779
pictures of me and my tighty -whities. They were

00:17:32.779 --> 00:17:36.220
chasing me with the camera. I was fat, Brandon.

00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:39.339
I had inverted nipples. Now they're always hard.

00:17:39.559 --> 00:17:42.559
Was was an interesting choice of words. I wonder

00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:44.619
if mine are inverted. Should we check it out?

00:17:44.920 --> 00:17:48.940
No. Brandon, would you tell the world out there

00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:50.900
if my nipples are inverted or not? I mean, dude,

00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:55.759
we all would. We'd have no choice. We'd exclaim

00:17:55.759 --> 00:18:00.490
it. Involuntarily. If you were like, hey, man.

00:18:00.490 --> 00:18:02.930
Would you consent to it? To seeing my breasts?

00:18:04.869 --> 00:18:07.170
I mean, yeah, man. There's 100 ,000 children.

00:18:09.089 --> 00:18:12.470
That's the new thing. There's 100 ,000 kids.

00:18:12.750 --> 00:18:15.029
Dude, my picture, dude. Mine is bad because I

00:18:15.029 --> 00:18:17.210
got one of my family walking in. It's me with

00:18:17.210 --> 00:18:20.670
a newspaper, like a catalog from 2005. And they

00:18:20.670 --> 00:18:22.970
walk in, I'm like, like that. You want to tell

00:18:22.970 --> 00:18:26.130
it? Yeah, and it's like. That was evidence in

00:18:26.130 --> 00:18:28.529
his case. A hundred percent. That was exhibit

00:18:28.529 --> 00:18:30.069
seven. Did you ever have to go in a room and

00:18:30.069 --> 00:18:34.549
talk to people? Well, I mean, no. It's just about

00:18:34.549 --> 00:18:37.750
like my... In class where they make me be like,

00:18:37.769 --> 00:18:39.250
can you draw on a straight line? But that was

00:18:39.250 --> 00:18:43.430
it. What were they wearing? The people that asked

00:18:43.430 --> 00:18:45.970
you? The people that asked you to do that? Do

00:18:45.970 --> 00:18:50.069
you remember? This is special ed. Well, no. I

00:18:50.069 --> 00:18:54.089
know. I know. But, like, I was wondering if this

00:18:54.089 --> 00:18:55.730
was, like, a separate people. No, you were drawing

00:18:55.730 --> 00:18:58.609
a straight line. Oh, no, just some old chick,

00:18:58.690 --> 00:19:01.640
some lady, like... What was it, like a pink t

00:19:01.640 --> 00:19:06.359
-shirt? Oh, yeah. Not, like, all black and, like,

00:19:06.380 --> 00:19:08.819
sunglasses. Oh, like the Matrix? Yeah. Okay.

00:19:09.079 --> 00:19:11.920
Well, they want to wear... To kids, they wear

00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:16.519
softening things. Yeah. Like the Oracle. Maybe

00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:20.869
you were drawing lines to where they... Oh, my

00:19:20.869 --> 00:19:23.650
God. You always pointed into the direction of

00:19:23.650 --> 00:19:27.210
the national treasure. It's like, what's that

00:19:27.210 --> 00:19:29.130
thing, connect the dots? One of those things

00:19:29.130 --> 00:19:31.730
with a human figure. Connect it to where it happened.

00:19:31.990 --> 00:19:35.450
They didn't do that to you, though. Thankfully,

00:19:35.769 --> 00:19:38.609
I never lived for that. Thankfully. That's good.

00:19:38.730 --> 00:19:41.569
Or bad. It could be. I don't know. Just means

00:19:41.569 --> 00:19:43.250
nobody got to. No, they were just like, can you

00:19:43.250 --> 00:19:46.049
draw? I don't remember. They were like, can you

00:19:46.049 --> 00:19:48.329
just draw your name? It's not floating on this

00:19:48.329 --> 00:19:51.289
thing. Do you know where you have a straight

00:19:51.289 --> 00:19:54.490
line on the line paper? Yeah. And they're like,

00:19:54.569 --> 00:19:56.690
can you make it where it's not? Oh, when it's

00:19:56.690 --> 00:19:59.190
on the bottom. See, that's some bullshit. And

00:19:59.190 --> 00:20:01.430
nobody cares about penmanship anymore. Like,

00:20:01.430 --> 00:20:03.630
they think people are retarded because they can't.

00:20:03.630 --> 00:20:06.329
And it's like, dude, like, how about you focus

00:20:06.329 --> 00:20:08.839
on... Actual things. Yeah, and they might have

00:20:08.839 --> 00:20:13.240
been right in some instances. It's correlation,

00:20:13.240 --> 00:20:16.920
not comedy. Like, if so what, I can't tie my

00:20:16.920 --> 00:20:20.539
shoes. Like, right? Was that you? No. That was

00:20:20.539 --> 00:20:23.200
me. I was wearing Velcro until 6th grade. When's

00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:27.039
the last, how would you say? Huh? Can you repeat

00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:29.339
that last sentence? I guess I was wearing Velcro

00:20:29.339 --> 00:20:31.579
until like 6th grade, man. And everybody was

00:20:31.579 --> 00:20:33.660
like, buckle up! And I was like, fuck that, man.

00:20:34.780 --> 00:20:37.200
They said Velcro? Yeah, they're like, fasten

00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:38.819
your seatbelt. So I was like, fuck that, man.

00:20:38.839 --> 00:20:40.339
Let me go get some Nikes. I went and got some

00:20:40.339 --> 00:20:43.220
Nikes. They make Velcro Nikes? No, no. We got

00:20:43.220 --> 00:20:45.700
some. Did you know how to tie your shoes when

00:20:45.700 --> 00:20:49.259
you got a Nike? I wasn't the best. Could you

00:20:49.259 --> 00:20:53.400
double knot? Yeah, now. No, but like, it's sixth

00:20:53.400 --> 00:20:56.359
grade when you stop wearing Velcro shoes. So

00:20:56.359 --> 00:20:59.220
sixth grade, you stop wearing Velcro shoes. Could

00:20:59.220 --> 00:21:01.559
you tie your shoes in sixth grade? Oh, yeah.

00:21:01.980 --> 00:21:03.980
I was like, we got to get this. Once that moment

00:21:03.980 --> 00:21:05.460
happened, I was like. You tied them yourself

00:21:05.460 --> 00:21:07.859
or somebody else? I tied them myself. Every time?

00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:10.500
Yep. From the first time you put them on? Yep,

00:21:10.539 --> 00:21:12.700
in sixth grade, yeah. That's a big answer. But

00:21:12.700 --> 00:21:15.059
what about after? Before then. Yeah. You talking

00:21:15.059 --> 00:21:16.559
about like in fifth grade, fourth grade? Yeah.

00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:18.799
No, I was just wearing Velcros. Yeah. Like I

00:21:18.799 --> 00:21:21.480
wouldn't even do it. I do tie them weird. Like,

00:21:21.480 --> 00:21:23.579
I don't do... What do you do? Y 'all do, like,

00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:26.619
some fancy step after you... I don't know. Loop

00:21:26.619 --> 00:21:28.599
around a rabbit and shit? Yeah, whatever the

00:21:28.599 --> 00:21:30.779
fuck that is. I don't know what the fuck y 'all

00:21:30.779 --> 00:21:32.160
are doing. What do you do? Double knot? Double

00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:34.380
loop? I just make one loop, make another loop,

00:21:34.460 --> 00:21:36.339
and then tie them into a knot. Yeah, I could

00:21:36.339 --> 00:21:38.200
not do that. Yeah, I can't do that. I don't know

00:21:38.200 --> 00:21:40.119
what the fuck. The loop around the thing, and

00:21:40.119 --> 00:21:42.420
then the... I'm like, what the fuck? The bunny

00:21:42.420 --> 00:21:45.839
goes through the hole. See, I'm too... There's

00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:47.700
a point in my brain. I think I'm just too stupid

00:21:47.700 --> 00:21:50.819
or I smoke too much weed, but I can't. comprehend

00:21:50.819 --> 00:21:54.039
the past. Really? Yeah. Dude, let's get a shoe,

00:21:54.160 --> 00:21:58.279
man. I can tie my shoe. Wait, before you do that,

00:21:58.359 --> 00:21:59.859
put your foot in the camera and let them see

00:21:59.859 --> 00:22:02.079
how good you did it right there. Me looking at

00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:04.019
your foot right there, man, you have tied it

00:22:04.019 --> 00:22:07.420
greatly. Okay, let's show the camera. What the

00:22:07.420 --> 00:22:11.319
fuck? It's so much easier than what I would have

00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:12.859
done. I guess if that's what you want to do.

00:22:13.640 --> 00:22:18.119
Okay. That's brilliant. This is how I would tie

00:22:18.119 --> 00:22:23.450
my shoe. And I have bad fine motor skills. I've

00:22:23.450 --> 00:22:27.130
always said that. I've always said that. You

00:22:27.130 --> 00:22:30.670
take this, goes over here. Yeah. Then it goes

00:22:30.670 --> 00:22:33.769
up and under. Sure. Make one loop. I mistake

00:22:33.769 --> 00:22:36.069
which way sometimes. And then you just take this,

00:22:36.250 --> 00:22:39.609
wrap it around, and then through that. 100%.

00:22:39.609 --> 00:22:41.890
That's the way to tie shit. That's some Cthulhu

00:22:41.890 --> 00:22:43.670
-ass shit. Now will you pass the shoe to Alex

00:22:43.670 --> 00:22:44.990
and show us how you do it? I agree with you,

00:22:45.109 --> 00:22:46.609
Alex. That's some Eldritch magic. I don't do

00:22:46.609 --> 00:22:48.049
it like that. You don't do it like that either?

00:22:48.269 --> 00:22:51.460
Oops, fuck. Damn. Oh, what if I just started

00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:55.640
with the two revenues? No, I do that. Okay. Okay,

00:22:55.740 --> 00:22:57.640
so you do do the under X. And then I just do

00:22:57.640 --> 00:22:59.660
that. See, that looks more complicated. Yeah,

00:22:59.660 --> 00:23:02.920
I think that's... Really? And you don't get it

00:23:02.920 --> 00:23:06.460
as tight as you want. Well, okay, so I get it

00:23:06.460 --> 00:23:08.859
as tight as I want. How would I do that? So how

00:23:08.859 --> 00:23:10.819
would I get it tight? Oh, right there. That's

00:23:10.819 --> 00:23:12.500
where you get it tight. That's the first tight,

00:23:12.660 --> 00:23:16.940
and then I hold it there. Wow. So maybe it is

00:23:16.940 --> 00:23:19.779
more complicated what I do. It is stupider. Huh.

00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:22.980
But it's the Chinese way. I don't know. You mind

00:23:22.980 --> 00:23:25.119
if I try? Yeah. I'll show you guys. Take a stab

00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:28.720
at it. This is the most... We are truly special

00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:33.140
needs class, dude. Okay, let me move this out

00:23:33.140 --> 00:23:36.240
the way. Make sure you do it in front of... Right

00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:38.279
there. That's perfect. This is crazy. So, look,

00:23:38.279 --> 00:23:42.039
I get right here. I go there. Then I get up here.

00:23:42.259 --> 00:23:46.200
Oh, you're doing it the way we do. Then I do

00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:51.170
that, and then I go... You just do a double knot.

00:23:51.990 --> 00:23:54.250
Yeah, but you do it the way me and JJ are saying.

00:23:54.349 --> 00:23:55.930
I told you, man. I started learning in sixth

00:23:55.930 --> 00:23:58.190
grade. I was like, fuck, man. But before sixth,

00:23:58.269 --> 00:24:00.470
so you learned how to tie your shoes when you

00:24:00.470 --> 00:24:02.450
were 11 years old. Yeah, because I was like,

00:24:02.509 --> 00:24:05.549
dude, I had. That's most people. Once the class

00:24:05.549 --> 00:24:07.670
got together and said buckle up and shit, and

00:24:07.670 --> 00:24:09.250
I was in the lunchroom, I couldn't even eat my

00:24:09.250 --> 00:24:11.869
food, man. I was like, fuck that. So a lot of

00:24:11.869 --> 00:24:15.720
your. A lot of these pushes have been like being

00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:19.039
made fun of, have pushed you. And it works. It

00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:20.900
did work. It fucking worked. It's the wrestling.

00:24:21.160 --> 00:24:23.940
Made me stronger. Made me stronger, man. Now

00:24:23.940 --> 00:24:26.380
there's a line. You ready? Are you going to be

00:24:26.380 --> 00:24:36.359
able to catch it? Yeah. He pumped me like five

00:24:36.359 --> 00:24:40.480
times. That's hilarious. Yeah, but bullying is

00:24:40.480 --> 00:24:43.160
good. Yeah. It helps you out. So Brandon's on

00:24:43.160 --> 00:24:45.599
board. He makes you and breaks you. Mm -hmm.

00:24:46.640 --> 00:24:48.720
You can't let it break you. No, you can't. You

00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:50.619
can't let them do that. They push you in the

00:24:50.619 --> 00:24:55.220
bushes, man. You get back up. Hey, what do you

00:24:55.220 --> 00:24:57.880
do after they slam you off the monkey bars? You

00:24:57.880 --> 00:25:01.799
get back up and do it again. Yeah? Well, if you

00:25:01.799 --> 00:25:03.700
could do it over. Oh, if I could do it over?

00:25:04.279 --> 00:25:05.960
Well, I mean, I wouldn't change anything in my

00:25:05.960 --> 00:25:08.140
life. But, I mean, if I could do it. If it happened

00:25:08.140 --> 00:25:11.359
now. You got to get up and start. You got to

00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:13.500
swing at him. This is how they monkey bar. But

00:25:13.500 --> 00:25:15.680
after that, would you get back on the monkey

00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:18.759
bars? I would put him on the monkey bars. That's

00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:20.880
what I'd do. Slam him on the monkey bars. Even

00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:23.980
though he was mentally challenged. I guess we

00:25:23.980 --> 00:25:28.460
were both in the same class. We were in the same

00:25:28.460 --> 00:25:30.900
class. Yeah, no, you guys are fair game. So,

00:25:30.900 --> 00:25:32.400
yeah, it's fair game right there, man. It's fair

00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:35.859
game right there. Who's time to fuck out, man?

00:25:36.059 --> 00:25:40.619
Shit. Hell yeah. We're going to slam the hell

00:25:40.619 --> 00:25:43.960
out of that dude. Yeah. Shit. And the papers,

00:25:44.039 --> 00:25:48.609
I'm getting away. What? Because we're both in

00:25:48.609 --> 00:25:50.450
the same class, so it can't be like, oh, man,

00:25:50.549 --> 00:25:52.289
you beat this special guy, but we're in the same

00:25:52.289 --> 00:25:54.630
class. Oh, yeah. No, you're 100 % good. So I'm

00:25:54.630 --> 00:25:55.769
good. I don't know about you. That's why they

00:25:55.769 --> 00:25:58.730
can't tell you can't say certain words. I'm good,

00:25:58.829 --> 00:26:01.690
man. What about me? Were you in special ed? What

00:26:01.690 --> 00:26:04.470
are you saying? Were you in special ed? No, man.

00:26:04.529 --> 00:26:06.309
See, so you're good. So you, everybody be like,

00:26:06.390 --> 00:26:08.109
damn, bro, you're going to hurt that special

00:26:08.109 --> 00:26:11.069
ed dude. I was not in special ed, dude. And if

00:26:11.069 --> 00:26:13.410
anything, I think with modern science, we know

00:26:13.410 --> 00:26:18.280
you guys would have the advantage. Sure. Oh,

00:26:18.280 --> 00:26:24.559
Lord. That guy just pulled a stop sign out of

00:26:24.559 --> 00:26:27.559
the ground with one hand. I would have spun around,

00:26:27.660 --> 00:26:30.019
slung him into the monkey bar, man. Well, not

00:26:30.019 --> 00:26:32.519
today, but back then, no. I would have went back

00:26:32.519 --> 00:26:35.480
on there because I didn't know. How old were

00:26:35.480 --> 00:26:37.700
you in that time? Six years old. Wait, no, hold

00:26:37.700 --> 00:26:41.569
on. It was 2010. I was in first grade, I think.

00:26:41.750 --> 00:26:45.210
Six or seven. First grade. So I was, let's see.

00:26:45.250 --> 00:26:48.789
So let's see. One, two. So let's see when Iron

00:26:48.789 --> 00:26:52.750
Man 2 came out. That was 2011. That was 2011.

00:26:53.769 --> 00:26:56.029
Because I remember the bootleg man came in there

00:26:56.029 --> 00:26:58.910
and I got it from his trunk. Oh, 2010. My bad.

00:26:58.930 --> 00:27:02.329
So 2010. Just the joke. May 7th. So yeah, I was

00:27:02.329 --> 00:27:07.029
recently six years old. He was six years old.

00:27:07.289 --> 00:27:09.730
That's when he was slamming you. And then it

00:27:09.730 --> 00:27:11.490
took you four more years after that to learn

00:27:11.490 --> 00:27:16.029
to tie your shoes. Yes. Five. No, actually, yeah.

00:27:16.569 --> 00:27:20.630
So sixth grade. He had to double his lifespan.

00:27:21.390 --> 00:27:27.109
Yeah. It's a good movie, though. Yeah. Ivan Venka.

00:27:27.349 --> 00:27:30.470
The Mandarin. Wait, that's three. You guys seen

00:27:30.470 --> 00:27:33.410
Newcastle in America? Now, is it good? Very good.

00:27:33.630 --> 00:27:36.130
It's like Donald Trump. You know what? See, this

00:27:36.130 --> 00:27:38.470
is why those fucking reviews are bullshit. Because

00:27:38.470 --> 00:27:41.170
everybody's been saying, everybody who's your

00:27:41.170 --> 00:27:43.769
complexion has been saying it's bad. Every black

00:27:43.769 --> 00:27:45.849
person I've talked to has said it's good. Now,

00:27:45.869 --> 00:27:48.289
I don't have Disney Plus anymore, so I'll wait

00:27:48.289 --> 00:27:51.109
until somebody... What's it called? Brave New

00:27:51.109 --> 00:27:55.470
World? Yep. BNW? Birth of a New Nation? Black,

00:27:55.470 --> 00:28:01.789
not white. Let me just do normal Harrison Ford.

00:28:01.890 --> 00:28:04.829
Does Harrison Ford play Donald Trump? That is

00:28:04.829 --> 00:28:06.690
like Donald Trump. And Donald Trump turns into

00:28:06.690 --> 00:28:09.190
the Hulk? Yes, because then he gets crazy. What

00:28:09.190 --> 00:28:12.569
if he turned into the Hulk? An orange Hulk? But

00:28:12.569 --> 00:28:15.349
what if he still acted like how he would? Dude,

00:28:15.349 --> 00:28:16.990
he gets so crazy. They're like, dude, you can't

00:28:16.990 --> 00:28:18.430
be in office. And they pull him out and put him

00:28:18.430 --> 00:28:21.509
in jail. And he always has to take an anxiety

00:28:21.509 --> 00:28:23.730
pill because he's like, oh, shit. Because of

00:28:23.730 --> 00:28:24.910
turning to the Hulk, right? He's like, dude,

00:28:24.930 --> 00:28:26.910
I'm getting my shit. And everybody's like, hey,

00:28:26.930 --> 00:28:28.829
man, calm down, bro. Take these pills. And then

00:28:28.829 --> 00:28:31.269
the dude sabotages. Here's the four great sci

00:28:31.269 --> 00:28:33.130
-fi actors. So yeah, now he becomes a Hulk. And

00:28:33.130 --> 00:28:34.869
they're like, man, this dude's too wild. Why

00:28:34.869 --> 00:28:39.250
is he red? Why is he red? Well, uh. Republicans.

00:28:40.029 --> 00:28:43.529
You seen Incredible Hulk with the one in 2003

00:28:43.529 --> 00:28:46.829
or 2004? The one with Ed Norton? Yeah. I think

00:28:46.829 --> 00:28:48.630
so. Yeah, that's the one that explains why he

00:28:48.630 --> 00:28:51.730
became the Red Hulk. Well, I know the Hulk is

00:28:51.730 --> 00:28:54.609
green because of the gamma rays, but I don't

00:28:54.609 --> 00:28:58.289
know. Yeah. I got to rewatch that because it's

00:28:58.289 --> 00:29:00.569
a spinoff from the one from like the early 2000s.

00:29:00.730 --> 00:29:04.210
Same universe. Yeah. Pin. Ain't that right, Brandon?

00:29:04.390 --> 00:29:07.569
What happened? Pin particles is why he's red.

00:29:07.789 --> 00:29:11.819
Pin particles. What is Pym Particles? The Ant

00:29:11.819 --> 00:29:14.059
-Man thing. Oh, then there you go, man. See?

00:29:14.700 --> 00:29:16.680
Yeah. He watched it. We're the only ones that

00:29:16.680 --> 00:29:19.539
haven't watched it. That's why I asked. Did you

00:29:19.539 --> 00:29:25.839
watch the Five Rings thing? No, I tuned out of

00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:28.740
Marvel. Like in Ultron. Bro. I kind of stopped

00:29:28.740 --> 00:29:30.099
in Ultron. Really? Ultron was when you stopped?

00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:34.180
Yeah. You missed out. I know. But Endgame was

00:29:34.180 --> 00:29:37.619
a button on it, dude. Never watched it. Endgame?

00:29:38.039 --> 00:29:41.740
I can't believe you watched this one. It's worth

00:29:41.740 --> 00:29:45.660
every fucking second. Dude, it's a CGI movie.

00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:48.720
You don't have to have an attention span to watch

00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:50.720
it. It is crazy. When they film it, they're in

00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:55.059
a blue room with nothing. And they have to pretend.

00:29:55.420 --> 00:29:59.059
It's insane. They'll make how the things look

00:29:59.059 --> 00:30:02.160
out of shapes with blue shit over it. It'll be

00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:05.160
a guy holding a sphere. And that's Old Frod or

00:30:05.160 --> 00:30:07.220
whatever. They didn't know who they were fighting.

00:30:07.789 --> 00:30:09.630
Because they didn't know any of the plot. Yeah.

00:30:09.750 --> 00:30:11.829
They didn't know, like, so when Spider -Man's

00:30:11.829 --> 00:30:13.730
fighting Thanos, he has no idea who he's fighting.

00:30:13.789 --> 00:30:16.049
Really? Yeah. They did it like Manhattan Project

00:30:16.049 --> 00:30:17.670
style because they didn't want anyone to leak.

00:30:17.869 --> 00:30:21.650
They had a fucking lock on that shit, dude. It

00:30:21.650 --> 00:30:23.690
worked out, but damn, that seems like it'd be

00:30:23.690 --> 00:30:28.049
fucking hard as hell for the actor. Wow. So that's

00:30:28.049 --> 00:30:30.170
how they were running. Can you imagine Pat? Oh,

00:30:30.170 --> 00:30:33.049
man. He's Thanos. Like, I don't know. Purple

00:30:33.049 --> 00:30:34.930
and blue. We're filming it. We're filming it.

00:30:36.799 --> 00:30:39.519
Shooting through space. I want to see what his

00:30:39.519 --> 00:30:44.500
fucking outfit would be. Imagine Pat after the

00:30:44.500 --> 00:30:47.079
Thanos snap. He's like, yeah, man, my whole family

00:30:47.079 --> 00:30:50.259
died. Oh, my gosh, bro. He's like, I was talking

00:30:50.259 --> 00:30:55.299
to this girl. Turn to dust. Ain't it crazy that

00:30:55.299 --> 00:30:57.980
you just snapped right now? Everyone I know turned

00:30:57.980 --> 00:31:02.650
to dust. Everybody back in Mobile died. The whole

00:31:02.650 --> 00:31:07.970
city. Somehow everybody Pat knows died. There

00:31:07.970 --> 00:31:09.589
was no 50 -50. He has to start from scratch.

00:31:10.650 --> 00:31:14.529
But it's just the people Pat knew. Damn, man.

00:31:14.650 --> 00:31:19.769
Oh, my God. I've never heard. Every time. It's

00:31:19.769 --> 00:31:21.769
not one time he's ever talked to us. And this

00:31:21.769 --> 00:31:25.829
is years. And that he hasn't said someone has

00:31:25.829 --> 00:31:28.410
died. In one setting, talking to him. I don't

00:31:28.410 --> 00:31:30.069
care if you see him three times in a week. He's

00:31:30.069 --> 00:31:33.109
the spirit of death. He's like Christopher Walken

00:31:33.109 --> 00:31:35.829
from Click. He's the angel of death. Remember,

00:31:35.970 --> 00:31:39.009
he did that with the jacking off. Remember that?

00:31:39.809 --> 00:31:41.829
Did he say someone died on there? Yeah, he did.

00:31:41.930 --> 00:31:43.289
And then they were like, damn, man. Because you

00:31:43.289 --> 00:31:45.009
remember they did that joke. I forgot what the

00:31:45.009 --> 00:31:48.440
board thing was. Comedy competition, jacking

00:31:48.440 --> 00:31:51.259
off comedy. Oh, Jesus Christ. I should have clarified

00:31:51.259 --> 00:31:53.440
that better. I should have clarified that better.

00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:57.319
I'm just talking about jacking. So Jack Thriller's

00:31:57.319 --> 00:32:00.819
jacking off. Shout out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they

00:32:00.819 --> 00:32:05.440
do an open mic down there. And our boys had a

00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:07.400
rough time, but it was some great moments in

00:32:07.400 --> 00:32:09.039
there. I would suggest go watch it. Oh, yeah.

00:32:09.700 --> 00:32:12.119
In fact, one of them might be instead of Scrappy

00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:15.160
-Doo at the end, I might put M -Dots. Oh, dude,

00:32:15.299 --> 00:32:17.799
it was the best thing ever. So he's walking up.

00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:21.420
At first, he's walking up cool as shit, right?

00:32:21.559 --> 00:32:23.400
So he's walking up to the stage, cool as shit.

00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:24.680
And I don't know when he grabbed that microphone,

00:32:24.759 --> 00:32:26.660
the spirit took a hold of him. Because he said,

00:32:26.720 --> 00:32:34.619
what's up, what's up? What's up? It was wild.

00:32:35.180 --> 00:32:38.160
I loved it. How hyped that he got for that. It's

00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:39.720
my favorite thing. It's like the ultimate war.

00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:45.019
Yeah, and he kicked it off. A lot of things happened

00:32:45.019 --> 00:32:48.700
in between there. Ended off with Pat. And Pat,

00:32:48.859 --> 00:32:50.420
I thought, did the best. Yeah, he did really

00:32:50.420 --> 00:32:52.880
good. And they roasted the shit out of Pat, though.

00:32:52.920 --> 00:32:55.119
And it was great. It was great. They told him

00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:59.460
he didn't want to be here no more. They're right.

00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:01.660
He doesn't give a fuck about his life. Yeah.

00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:05.119
He said, I don't think I'm going to die because

00:33:05.119 --> 00:33:07.299
God don't want me to die. I've been shot at.

00:33:09.339 --> 00:33:13.200
Damn. There's not a day that goes by when I don't

00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:15.420
think about when Syfy said the tongues of his

00:33:15.420 --> 00:33:20.960
shoes look like riot shields. I think about that

00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:24.359
every day. Damn, man. That's so funny, dude.

00:33:26.559 --> 00:33:29.720
Love you, Pat, man. Hell yeah, shout out. Love

00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:32.319
Pat, dude. But having a conversation with Pat

00:33:32.319 --> 00:33:36.240
is like, have you ever just had an off day? Oh,

00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:40.180
yeah. It just feels like that. It's just like

00:33:40.180 --> 00:33:43.299
something here isn't clicking in the way that

00:33:43.299 --> 00:33:46.299
it normally does. Every time I talk to Pat, I'm

00:33:46.299 --> 00:33:50.539
like, are we having a conversation? It's not

00:33:50.539 --> 00:33:52.579
a conversation, but we're just kind of talking

00:33:52.579 --> 00:33:57.579
at each other. Yeah. It's a strange vortex, you

00:33:57.579 --> 00:34:00.779
know? Oh, yeah. Pat doesn't listen once he stops

00:34:00.779 --> 00:34:04.440
talking. Yeah. Pat could be sitting right here.

00:34:05.049 --> 00:34:08.030
And we could be talking about Pat, like to his

00:34:08.030 --> 00:34:09.809
face, like, you know, you're a piece of shit,

00:34:09.969 --> 00:34:11.929
you know, blah, blah, blah. And just trying to

00:34:11.929 --> 00:34:14.070
make him laugh. And then he'll just be like,

00:34:14.190 --> 00:34:19.039
man, that new 50 Cent, dog. He's trying to come

00:34:19.039 --> 00:34:21.480
out with new music, bud. He doesn't register

00:34:21.480 --> 00:34:22.900
what you're saying to him. I think you should

00:34:22.900 --> 00:34:28.139
stick to the drama. It's just when he's talking,

00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:30.019
he'll look at you. But then as soon as you start

00:34:30.019 --> 00:34:33.039
talking, he's on Facebook. So he never really

00:34:33.039 --> 00:34:35.780
hears what you're saying. I love it, though.

00:34:35.800 --> 00:34:37.139
So he's probably just trying to guess. Would

00:34:37.139 --> 00:34:39.019
you want him to hear what you're saying? Like,

00:34:39.079 --> 00:34:41.500
you know what I mean? I don't know. I don't think

00:34:41.500 --> 00:34:44.079
so. Dude, and sometimes he'll be, like, talking,

00:34:44.079 --> 00:34:45.480
and you'll be like, oh, man, you're getting it.

00:34:45.559 --> 00:34:47.099
Oh, I ain't talking to you, though, man. I'm

00:34:47.099 --> 00:34:50.989
like, who you talking to? He got me so many times.

00:34:51.690 --> 00:34:54.050
Because you can't see the AirPods. It's like

00:34:54.050 --> 00:34:56.829
when somebody waves at you. And it's like, no,

00:34:56.909 --> 00:34:58.909
but he has no AirPods. It's like when somebody

00:34:58.909 --> 00:35:00.250
waves at you. No, he does. It's just like when

00:35:00.250 --> 00:35:02.050
you wear a wedding ring and then your hand gets

00:35:02.050 --> 00:35:06.710
fatter. Did you see that, dude? It was going

00:35:06.710 --> 00:35:09.510
viral with the pinky finger. Look up the pinky

00:35:09.510 --> 00:35:12.449
finger ring. It was inside of his body. Yeah,

00:35:12.469 --> 00:35:14.650
it was inside. Like, cut it off. You got to cut

00:35:14.650 --> 00:35:17.480
off the pinky now. I don't like this. Oh, it's

00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:21.739
nasty, too. Yeah. What if it was like one of

00:35:21.739 --> 00:35:23.440
those aura rings? You're going to get a call

00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:26.739
for this. Symbiote or something. Or android,

00:35:26.980 --> 00:35:29.320
that's what I was thinking of. The aura ring?

00:35:29.480 --> 00:35:30.559
Fucking safe search. What the fuck are you talking

00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:32.400
about, aura ring? It's the ring that, it's like

00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:34.480
600 bucks, but it monitors all your vitality.

00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:36.579
It's like Apple. Wow, don't do that, dude. First

00:35:36.579 --> 00:35:38.159
of all, you're asking for trouble. What if you

00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:39.820
absorbed it, dude? Huh? What if you absorbed

00:35:39.820 --> 00:35:42.280
that? Holy shit. You would be like a robot. You

00:35:42.280 --> 00:35:43.860
talking about like that? Yeah, something like

00:35:43.860 --> 00:35:45.769
that. It was blacker than that, though. Oh, man,

00:35:45.829 --> 00:35:47.309
that's bad. That's an Indian. I can see them

00:35:47.309 --> 00:35:49.469
hands. That's bad, bro. You got to get that.

00:35:49.530 --> 00:35:52.829
You got to get the welder to get that off. Well,

00:35:52.829 --> 00:35:55.489
that one you still probably can salvage the finger.

00:35:55.670 --> 00:35:58.829
I hate. I was looking at one. It was like their

00:35:58.829 --> 00:36:03.030
skin had grown over it. Oh, dude. Not the top,

00:36:03.030 --> 00:36:03.989
but the back. Dude, I'm going to search that

00:36:03.989 --> 00:36:10.909
up. Ring, ring, where skin grew over. Why you

00:36:10.909 --> 00:36:13.030
have me on this one? Yeah, dude. I hate you.

00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:16.460
We love you, man. There we go. Let's see that

00:36:16.460 --> 00:36:20.320
one. Oh, this right here? Jesus. I hate this

00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:23.119
kind of shit. Yeah, he needs to. I mean, he's

00:36:23.119 --> 00:36:26.039
lucky that hasn't got gangrene yet. It looks

00:36:26.039 --> 00:36:28.900
pretty fucked up. Yeah, it is crazy how resilient

00:36:28.900 --> 00:36:34.199
the human body is. And how fragile. Look at that.

00:36:34.280 --> 00:36:36.420
Look at that, dude. This is like when you see

00:36:36.420 --> 00:36:38.679
a flower growing in a pothole. It's like Dragon

00:36:38.679 --> 00:36:41.559
Ball Z Fusion right there, man. Yeah? It's not.

00:36:43.929 --> 00:36:48.150
How does it get to this point? It's sad. This

00:36:48.150 --> 00:36:52.110
is bad. It is, Alex. Yeah, man. It's morphing

00:36:52.110 --> 00:36:54.670
time. Yeah. And that's something different, too.

00:36:54.690 --> 00:36:57.210
But, you know, it's all the same realm. They're

00:36:57.210 --> 00:36:59.369
morphing or something. Look at that pinky there.

00:36:59.409 --> 00:37:02.230
This one's worse. Look, is the ring inside of

00:37:02.230 --> 00:37:06.280
him? Well, I don't. Let's ask Jeff Greenspan.

00:37:06.360 --> 00:37:09.280
He's an expert of rings inside of people. Shout

00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:11.920
out Jeff Greenspan. That motherfucker's hilarious.

00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:16.000
I love that fucking joke. He knows what's inside.

00:37:19.300 --> 00:37:22.159
I love you, Brad. Yeah, that looks fucking terrible.

00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:25.519
That's sad. He fully absorbs it. He's like, what?

00:37:25.719 --> 00:37:27.960
That's terrible, man. That's a nightmare. At

00:37:27.960 --> 00:37:29.920
what point do you like, hey, maybe I should take

00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:32.559
this off? It's a human Kirby. What does that

00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:34.679
say on the side? Can you say it, Alex? Class

00:37:34.679 --> 00:37:38.360
of 85. I don't know. There's a kinky nail on

00:37:38.360 --> 00:37:42.840
the back. Yeah. And that's a class ring. That

00:37:42.840 --> 00:37:45.949
dude. Peaked in high school, dude. I knew nothing

00:37:45.949 --> 00:37:49.969
after that. He can't remember from the time he

00:37:49.969 --> 00:37:52.949
put that on to now. Oh, that looks fucking terrible.

00:37:53.050 --> 00:37:56.530
Yeah, I don't like this, man. I was vibing with

00:37:56.530 --> 00:37:57.909
it at first. I don't like it either. I don't

00:37:57.909 --> 00:38:00.650
like it either. That's trash. Have you heard

00:38:00.650 --> 00:38:06.510
of vibe coding? What? I feel like JJ is probably

00:38:06.510 --> 00:38:11.269
the only one. Vibe coding? It's where you forget

00:38:11.269 --> 00:38:14.659
about... No one had a code and just let the AI

00:38:14.659 --> 00:38:20.679
do it. Hmm? Vibe coding. Yeah. Oh. What do you

00:38:20.679 --> 00:38:22.840
mean? No, I'm not good at this. It's just with

00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:25.780
all the hip, rich coders who can afford AIs are

00:38:25.780 --> 00:38:28.159
doing now. They're just not doing their job.

00:38:28.460 --> 00:38:31.880
Just letting the AI do it. Yeah. Yeah, I see

00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:36.639
that. We should start Vibe. comedy -ing stand

00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:40.440
-up -ing let AI vibe -gooning vibe -gooning dude

00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:45.579
chat GPT let's not do that find me the porn that

00:38:45.579 --> 00:38:47.840
will make me come the quickest what porn makes

00:38:47.840 --> 00:38:51.179
you come the quickest Brandon me if you watched

00:38:51.179 --> 00:38:53.300
porn yeah if you did like hypothetical oh back

00:38:53.300 --> 00:38:58.519
then uh I remember, like, what was it? Early

00:38:58.519 --> 00:39:01.840
2010s, like, near, like, what, 2015, 2016? Sure.

00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:03.639
I mean, you were, like, six. Yeah, what was that

00:39:03.639 --> 00:39:05.500
era? Why the fuck were you watching porn when

00:39:05.500 --> 00:39:07.860
you were six years old? Six years old? I know.

00:39:08.420 --> 00:39:11.380
Shout out to Tito's. Well, that's because everybody

00:39:11.380 --> 00:39:16.119
else is doing it. But, uh... Man, let me think,

00:39:16.199 --> 00:39:19.900
man. I guess when you would see it, the boobs.

00:39:20.599 --> 00:39:23.219
Just boobs. Yeah, that was nice. Big titties,

00:39:23.219 --> 00:39:25.639
small. Yeah, that's most straight forward. Oh,

00:39:25.659 --> 00:39:28.559
my God. I don't like boobs. And then when they

00:39:28.559 --> 00:39:32.059
be, like, wrestling around, that was nice. Wrestling

00:39:32.059 --> 00:39:34.300
around? Yeah, they wrestle each other. Like when

00:39:34.300 --> 00:39:37.159
the ladies wrestle and then the fucks will lose

00:39:37.159 --> 00:39:40.460
her? Yeah. Or they just start going at each other.

00:39:40.500 --> 00:39:42.679
Yeah, I've seen this. They film this at, like,

00:39:42.699 --> 00:39:45.239
a child karate school. Or the match will get

00:39:45.239 --> 00:39:47.460
so good, they start going at each other. The

00:39:47.460 --> 00:39:51.369
what? So you just watched it like the UFC and

00:39:51.369 --> 00:39:55.329
jerking off. No, not the UFC. Ronda Rousey? No.

00:39:58.130 --> 00:40:00.829
They've been, you know, AI has been trying to

00:40:00.829 --> 00:40:02.429
do stuff for her. That's crazy. What are they

00:40:02.429 --> 00:40:05.909
trying to do? I guess it's weird because I'll

00:40:05.909 --> 00:40:07.550
be looking like, I'll just scroll through Instagram

00:40:07.550 --> 00:40:10.110
and be like, what if this was Ronda Rousey? This

00:40:10.110 --> 00:40:12.949
is like AI with her. Big titties? Yeah, I don't

00:40:12.949 --> 00:40:15.949
like it. It's wild. You don't like it, huh? No,

00:40:15.949 --> 00:40:20.829
I don't. It's weird. It's like when you click

00:40:20.829 --> 00:40:22.309
on something, more stuff like that. Which one

00:40:22.309 --> 00:40:24.610
of our friends like it? Do you see, like, at

00:40:24.610 --> 00:40:27.369
the corner? Oh, my. You know. What are you talking

00:40:27.369 --> 00:40:31.510
about? You guys know who out of the comedy scene

00:40:31.510 --> 00:40:35.150
in Huntsville is liking and following the girls

00:40:35.150 --> 00:40:37.010
on Instagram. Johnny Blanco. You guys know. Oh,

00:40:37.070 --> 00:40:39.210
Jake. Oh, man. It's either Jake or Scott. Well,

00:40:39.230 --> 00:40:41.650
Jake is always a weird one. Yeah. It's always

00:40:41.650 --> 00:40:44.809
bad. He keeps sending me videos of this Jewish

00:40:44.809 --> 00:40:48.340
influencer, and she has really big... With the

00:40:48.340 --> 00:40:51.079
glasses? Yeah, she's cool. She's funny. She's

00:40:51.079 --> 00:40:53.619
a little, uh, too... Jewish girl, big tits. She's

00:40:53.619 --> 00:40:56.679
very proud of her ethnicity. No, I'm kidding.

00:40:56.860 --> 00:41:00.199
No, she's one of those, like, she's, like, going

00:41:00.199 --> 00:41:03.159
hard in the paint pro -Israel against, like,

00:41:03.280 --> 00:41:05.199
the pro -Hammaz people. She's, like, in Turning

00:41:05.199 --> 00:41:08.639
Point USA. Yeah, that's a good... That's really

00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:12.039
fucking funny. That's really fucking funny. What

00:41:12.039 --> 00:41:15.019
is she called? Search Jewish American princess.

00:41:15.219 --> 00:41:19.059
Just search Jap, actually. That's what they call

00:41:19.059 --> 00:41:22.960
themselves. Japs? That's like a term in Jewish

00:41:22.960 --> 00:41:26.239
America. Jap. I feel like they could think of

00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:28.599
a different one. No, but they all look like her.

00:41:32.019 --> 00:41:35.219
That's not her. That's an Asian. What the fuck?

00:41:36.030 --> 00:41:38.010
Wait, now look. That's a jab. Like, look, I'm

00:41:38.010 --> 00:41:40.610
just going on a limb. That's a real jab. Does

00:41:40.610 --> 00:41:42.090
she kind of look like this? Because this is who

00:41:42.090 --> 00:41:44.070
he talks about. Like, he'll be like, it's her.

00:41:44.650 --> 00:41:46.070
That's a four -star, though, correct? Maybe,

00:41:46.130 --> 00:41:48.690
yes. She does have an OnlyFans. Dude, do they

00:41:48.690 --> 00:41:51.230
have Jewish four -stars? Absolutely. Dude, I

00:41:51.230 --> 00:41:54.050
just saw a crazy unhinged Instagram post that

00:41:54.050 --> 00:41:56.010
I probably shouldn't talk about. But it had to

00:41:56.010 --> 00:41:59.929
do with Jews and pornography. Apparently, like,

00:41:59.969 --> 00:42:01.989
all the major producers. They're trying to say

00:42:01.989 --> 00:42:05.070
that. Yeah, I can't even go. Say it, dude. It's

00:42:05.070 --> 00:42:07.469
so fucking racist. Well, let's hear it. They're

00:42:07.469 --> 00:42:09.969
basically just... It's not you saying it, it's

00:42:09.969 --> 00:42:13.579
them. Well, I have to tell it to you. But it's

00:42:13.579 --> 00:42:15.639
basically like they're saying that Jews are behind

00:42:15.639 --> 00:42:18.820
the entire porn industry. I mean, let's look

00:42:18.820 --> 00:42:21.480
it up. You guys want me to find out? What do

00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:23.659
you mean purposefully? That's where I was like,

00:42:23.699 --> 00:42:25.260
what do you mean purposefully? But that was the

00:42:25.260 --> 00:42:28.300
vibe of the post. I'm just watching good stuff

00:42:28.300 --> 00:42:31.099
like Nick Fuentes and that kind of thing. Good

00:42:31.099 --> 00:42:35.099
Americans. And just people getting hurt. Yeah,

00:42:35.099 --> 00:42:37.219
yeah. Yeah, like falling off a bicycle, going

00:42:37.219 --> 00:42:48.409
like 60 feet in the air. I don't know, man. Instagram's

00:42:48.409 --> 00:42:50.750
crazy. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm right there with you,

00:42:50.750 --> 00:42:52.250
man. They show you some crazy stuff. I saw, like,

00:42:52.329 --> 00:42:54.389
a dude was, like, holding an accordion, a Spider

00:42:54.389 --> 00:42:56.909
-Man, and he was swinging, and he, like... I

00:42:56.909 --> 00:42:59.010
have seen that. That's funny, dude. I thought

00:42:59.010 --> 00:43:01.230
that that guy was Hispanic for the longest time,

00:43:01.289 --> 00:43:03.630
but now I think it's in Eastern Europe. It's

00:43:03.630 --> 00:43:05.980
a guy with an accordion. And he's dressed up

00:43:05.980 --> 00:43:08.159
as Spider -Man for a kid's birthday party. And

00:43:08.159 --> 00:43:10.599
he's pretending to walk down the wall. And then,

00:43:10.619 --> 00:43:13.800
like, the rope slips. And he flies out and slams

00:43:13.800 --> 00:43:16.000
back into the side of the house. And, like, he's

00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:18.360
knocked out. And his arms go like this. And the

00:43:18.360 --> 00:43:22.809
accordion just goes. That was so funny. You can

00:43:22.809 --> 00:43:25.050
see it. Let's see it. I want to see it so bad.

00:43:25.210 --> 00:43:28.090
Is it a Spider -Man accordion? Eastern Europeans

00:43:28.090 --> 00:43:30.949
fucking continue. And this might be another Adam

00:43:30.949 --> 00:43:33.289
Silver situation where I'm just completely off

00:43:33.289 --> 00:43:35.309
the mark. No, no, you're probably right. The

00:43:35.309 --> 00:43:36.750
Balkans are fucking backwards. All right, there

00:43:36.750 --> 00:43:39.949
we go. Two seconds. Right here? Yeah. Yeah, this

00:43:39.949 --> 00:43:44.510
might be it. Oh, my God. You're trying to say

00:43:44.510 --> 00:44:02.610
it. Yeah, because the sound makes it funny. Is

00:44:02.610 --> 00:44:06.050
he still going? Yes, he is. He might be seizing

00:44:06.050 --> 00:44:11.610
up. Oh, my. Yeah, any way you play an accordion,

00:44:11.610 --> 00:44:13.809
it sounds like a song. Oh, man. That's good.

00:44:14.030 --> 00:44:20.289
Oh, my God. That's incredible. I love Spider

00:44:20.289 --> 00:44:22.519
-Man. JJ, you wanted to do something today, right?

00:44:24.179 --> 00:44:28.440
Oh, I did. I did. I wanted to play Family Feud.

00:44:28.599 --> 00:44:30.460
All right, let's do it. No real reason behind

00:44:30.460 --> 00:44:33.659
it. Man, let's play it. Yeah. Y 'all ready? Yeah.

00:44:33.739 --> 00:44:37.260
Yeah, the sound's going to be loud. Yeah. We'll

00:44:37.260 --> 00:44:41.079
just turn it down on TV. Okay. Awesome. We're

00:44:41.079 --> 00:44:49.039
going to get Danica. Danica. Name something that

00:44:49.039 --> 00:44:51.199
is carried in a tanker truck. What the fuck is

00:44:51.199 --> 00:44:54.019
a tanker truck? Gas. Gasoline. Gasoline. Semen.

00:44:54.559 --> 00:45:01.159
Semen. Well, we'll put that next. Gas. 59. We

00:45:01.159 --> 00:45:03.340
got 59. What's next? What's next? How are we

00:45:03.340 --> 00:45:05.179
going to take it? Don't we take it now? Semen.

00:45:05.340 --> 00:45:08.079
Oh. You want me to put semen? No. Okay, what

00:45:08.079 --> 00:45:11.599
are you going to put? Water. Water? And sewage,

00:45:11.619 --> 00:45:15.960
too. All right, so water. That's 12. Cement.

00:45:16.079 --> 00:45:19.760
He says sewage? Cement. Cement. All right. No,

00:45:19.860 --> 00:45:22.380
it started with a C. Okay. There it is. Oh, my

00:45:22.380 --> 00:45:27.260
God. It suggested cement. Oh, there it is right

00:45:27.260 --> 00:45:30.159
there. Yeah, yeah. That's wrong. He got that

00:45:30.159 --> 00:45:38.599
wrong. Sewage. Sewage. Swag. Damn, they already

00:45:38.599 --> 00:45:41.619
guessed it. Water. Water? Did we say water? Yeah,

00:45:41.619 --> 00:45:44.199
water. Oh, we already said water. Okay. Fuck.

00:45:45.260 --> 00:45:52.480
We only have two seconds. Tires? No. Milk? Oh,

00:45:52.539 --> 00:45:56.659
you did have milk. But in a, I wouldn't guess.

00:45:56.900 --> 00:45:59.139
What the fuck was that? Hey, milk's cool. Fuck,

00:45:59.139 --> 00:46:00.760
we're winning. We're winning. We're winning.

00:46:00.760 --> 00:46:04.199
Let's go. Hell yeah. Fuck you, Danica. All right,

00:46:04.199 --> 00:46:08.050
double points. So name a kind of dog you'd be

00:46:08.050 --> 00:46:10.349
surprised to see a chihuahua pick up. Definitely

00:46:10.349 --> 00:46:12.530
a pit bull. Say it. Say it. I don't know. Name

00:46:12.530 --> 00:46:15.110
a dog you'd be surprised to see a chihuahua pick

00:46:15.110 --> 00:46:18.610
a fight with. Yeah, pit bull. Pit bull. We got

00:46:18.610 --> 00:46:20.309
to read it our whole way so we can. You're right.

00:46:20.409 --> 00:46:22.690
You're right. Pit bull. That's 42. German shepherd.

00:46:22.969 --> 00:46:33.030
Human. German shepherd. Yep. 14. Rockwaller.

00:46:33.210 --> 00:46:40.199
Yeah. Rockwaller. How do you spell that? R -O

00:46:40.199 --> 00:46:46.119
-T -T. Oh, R -O -T -T? Yeah, I think. T -T, Wyler,

00:46:46.219 --> 00:46:51.980
W? I think it's just E -I -L -E -R. I don't know.

00:46:52.000 --> 00:46:53.380
I didn't win this. You know what? Fuck it. We'll

00:46:53.380 --> 00:46:55.679
just say it. There it is. There we go. Rock Wyler.

00:46:55.960 --> 00:46:59.059
St. Bernard. St. Bernard. There it is. St. Beethoven.

00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:00.980
What else? Come on, give me something. Why are

00:47:00.980 --> 00:47:06.809
you doing this? Boxer. Shih Tzu. St. Batard.

00:47:07.389 --> 00:47:12.650
Fuck. I mean, okay. St. Batard was out there.

00:47:12.809 --> 00:47:16.090
Doverman, great day. Who won that? Why was St.

00:47:16.230 --> 00:47:18.269
Bernard on there? We got to be winning that.

00:47:18.730 --> 00:47:21.389
This bitch. Oh, she's beating us. Oh, dude. We

00:47:21.389 --> 00:47:22.809
got to win in this final round. Come on, Brandon.

00:47:22.869 --> 00:47:24.269
You got to read it. Make sure you read it off

00:47:24.269 --> 00:47:26.170
somebody. Karen S. All right, let's get it. Let's

00:47:26.170 --> 00:47:30.679
get it. All right. Name something a woman hopes

00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:33.099
doesn't break right before going out on a big

00:47:33.099 --> 00:47:37.099
date. Water. Water? Okay. We'll put condom next.

00:47:38.119 --> 00:47:40.579
Well, why would it go before? Should we put condom?

00:47:40.579 --> 00:47:43.619
No. No? Because that's not before the date. Damn

00:47:43.619 --> 00:47:46.800
it. Before the date. Wallet. Her car. Car. Yeah,

00:47:46.800 --> 00:47:51.440
car. Car. Number one. Wallet. Ooh. What the fuck?

00:47:53.179 --> 00:48:00.219
Heel. Wind. Wind. Yeah. Come on, come on, come

00:48:00.219 --> 00:48:13.880
on. Brace. Jewelry. Jewelry. J -E -W. We'll go

00:48:13.880 --> 00:48:19.940
next. Watch. You don't want that breaking. Phone.

00:48:20.760 --> 00:48:24.360
You are on the ball right now. Not the phone.

00:48:26.500 --> 00:48:29.440
We got number one though. I don't know what the

00:48:29.440 --> 00:48:35.039
fuck the rest of those are. Let's find out. Here's

00:48:35.039 --> 00:48:39.500
our bra. Oh, fingernail. Did she get that? I

00:48:39.500 --> 00:48:41.400
wasn't thinking of the bra. She definitely beat

00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:47.119
us. Oh, my God. Fast money round. Fast money.

00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:51.599
God. Oh, hell no. The straining order. We got

00:48:51.599 --> 00:48:53.500
to watch that. Well, fuck it. You know, we dedicated

00:48:53.500 --> 00:48:55.440
people. Let's talk about life while we wait for

00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:58.559
this. Lego sets. The gift that always clicks

00:48:58.559 --> 00:49:01.460
to creative explorers. You're throwing me a lot,

00:49:01.539 --> 00:49:05.550
man. You're throwing me a... You gotta go take

00:49:05.550 --> 00:49:08.190
a piss. This is a good time to do it, man. We're

00:49:08.190 --> 00:49:14.210
on commercial break. Sometimes it takes a different

00:49:14.210 --> 00:49:16.909
approach to see the possibilities. What's the

00:49:16.909 --> 00:49:20.010
purpose of life, man? What's the purpose of life?

00:49:20.429 --> 00:49:22.889
At Capella University, you can earn a degree

00:49:22.889 --> 00:49:25.630
on your own. I guess to wake up and do it again.

00:49:27.190 --> 00:49:31.789
I mean, yeah. Name an animal that is easy to

00:49:31.789 --> 00:49:34.860
emanate into. Monkey. You know, yeah, monkey.

00:49:35.239 --> 00:49:39.280
I know what I would do. Kangaroo. Oh, kangaroo?

00:49:39.480 --> 00:49:42.199
Dude. Wait, no, no, no. It's a different question.

00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:44.139
It's a different question. Name a sport that...

00:49:44.139 --> 00:49:46.840
Basketball. Basketball. You just need a ball.

00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:50.480
I can't see the question. Name something you'd

00:49:50.480 --> 00:49:52.380
hate to have to jump out of. A plane. A plane.

00:49:53.659 --> 00:49:57.119
Nope. Name a device used for cutting. Knife.

00:49:57.320 --> 00:49:59.860
No, knife. You're right. You're right. Oh, scissors.

00:49:59.920 --> 00:50:03.210
Probably better. We got it. All right. Name something

00:50:03.210 --> 00:50:05.590
you might find on a mini golf course. Ooh, a

00:50:05.590 --> 00:50:08.809
ball. A windmill. Golf ball. Golf ball. Oh, windmill,

00:50:08.869 --> 00:50:10.969
windmill. Windmill. Windmill, windmill. Hold

00:50:10.969 --> 00:50:15.329
on. Golf. All right, let's see. I think we might

00:50:15.329 --> 00:50:18.489
have won, dude. I don't know. 35. 35 first, baby.

00:50:19.309 --> 00:50:20.570
Basketball, please, dude. I'm about to get to

00:50:20.570 --> 00:50:24.590
my 24. We got all number ones. Plane. First.

00:50:24.670 --> 00:50:28.710
We got all number one answers. Knife. Oh. Windmill.

00:50:28.710 --> 00:50:34.940
No way. Windmill. Golf ball! We got it. All right,

00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:38.119
did we win? We had to fucking beat her ass. Yeah,

00:50:38.139 --> 00:50:43.940
fuck you. What's her name, Candace? I guess we

00:50:43.940 --> 00:50:47.559
were done. We won. We the chosen ones, man. We

00:50:47.559 --> 00:50:53.880
special. Hell yeah. Well. Well, we did that.

00:50:54.039 --> 00:50:56.199
Hell yeah, we did that. We did that. We fucked

00:50:56.199 --> 00:50:59.000
that up. Yes, we did, man. That was fun. Hell

00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:01.900
yeah. I'm glad that you guys indulged me on that

00:51:01.900 --> 00:51:04.960
one. That was great. I'll look for different

00:51:04.960 --> 00:51:08.199
games for y 'all to play. What, Hangman next?

00:51:08.320 --> 00:51:13.380
I mean, if y 'all want to. You really want to

00:51:13.380 --> 00:51:15.420
play Hangman real quick? You like Hangman? Let's

00:51:15.420 --> 00:51:17.480
play some Hangman. Why don't you just do it real

00:51:17.480 --> 00:51:21.739
quick? When's the Zog getting here? 9 .15. Oh,

00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:25.440
okay. I got it timed out. He knows 9 .05. It's

00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:28.780
about 905. Yeah, we got four minutes. Yeah, four

00:51:28.780 --> 00:51:32.820
minutes. Four minutes. Put him up there. I know

00:51:32.820 --> 00:51:35.039
you guys didn't see what he just did. What did

00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:37.760
I just do? When he grabbed a pop figure to move

00:51:37.760 --> 00:51:40.219
it out, he, like, moved it out, brought it back,

00:51:40.340 --> 00:51:44.260
and then walked it. I did. Dude, that was so

00:51:44.260 --> 00:51:47.699
fucking funny. I know, man. Dude. Brandon, I

00:51:47.699 --> 00:51:50.539
love that that's your spirit in life, dude. It's

00:51:50.539 --> 00:51:53.739
just fucking. Like, you pick up a toy, you got

00:51:53.739 --> 00:51:56.420
to play with it, dude. Yeah. That's so fucking

00:51:56.420 --> 00:51:58.440
funny. I love playing with toys, man. Action

00:51:58.440 --> 00:52:01.119
figures. I didn't like that one. I ain't. We're

00:52:01.119 --> 00:52:03.039
not talking about those toys. You ain't ever

00:52:03.039 --> 00:52:05.099
try to play with those? With what? Sex toys?

00:52:05.300 --> 00:52:08.840
Yeah. Yeah, just that football. Oh. Just the

00:52:08.840 --> 00:52:11.679
sex football. But, like, vibrators and such.

00:52:11.980 --> 00:52:16.519
No. No? I mean, no. Why not? Nothing wrong with

00:52:16.519 --> 00:52:18.820
it. You're talking about, what, for me? Well,

00:52:18.860 --> 00:52:21.789
I mean, in your... Not just for you. Have you

00:52:21.789 --> 00:52:24.949
ever wheeled it? I mean, yeah, I mean. I mean,

00:52:24.949 --> 00:52:27.469
we have to use it, sure, but it's more competition

00:52:27.469 --> 00:52:30.489
than me, man. It can help you out. Yeah, the

00:52:30.489 --> 00:52:33.809
John Henry joke that he has. It can, but it's

00:52:33.809 --> 00:52:35.969
also like, I'm like, why the fuck am I this robot

00:52:35.969 --> 00:52:39.030
trying to come in here and take my shit? But

00:52:39.030 --> 00:52:40.789
you can use it with yourself, so you can be like

00:52:40.789 --> 00:52:44.210
an android. Oh, so like both. Yeah, of course

00:52:44.210 --> 00:52:46.710
both. I mean, yeah. Yeah, but then again, I don't

00:52:46.710 --> 00:52:48.210
know. I still think about it. I'd be like, man,

00:52:48.210 --> 00:52:51.179
this robot. Trying to take shit over, man. What

00:52:51.179 --> 00:52:53.579
if you were fucking the robot? If I was fucking

00:52:53.579 --> 00:52:55.320
the robot, what? Like that majestic creature

00:52:55.320 --> 00:52:57.199
pocket pussy thing that I've been talking about?

00:52:57.360 --> 00:53:08.820
Yes. Hey. The majestic... Guys. The majestic

00:53:08.820 --> 00:53:11.519
creature thing he was talking about. You mean

00:53:11.519 --> 00:53:13.519
the thing that sells at the mall at Parkway Place

00:53:13.519 --> 00:53:20.219
and Spencer's? Yeah. Yeah, it's like $23. I just

00:53:20.219 --> 00:53:22.440
see Brandon behind the glass, like, looking.

00:53:22.800 --> 00:53:25.300
Like, it'll shoot your eye out, kid. Like, you

00:53:25.300 --> 00:53:31.280
know what I mean? Adventurous, man. That knock

00:53:31.280 --> 00:53:34.500
on some wood there, you know. Was that your penis?

00:53:34.659 --> 00:53:38.400
No. Wouldn't that be crazy if it was? That means

00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:40.239
it's powerful. We could bang up against this

00:53:40.239 --> 00:53:44.750
thing. Yeah. Oh, you can do a funny bit. You

00:53:44.750 --> 00:53:47.710
can make the desk rise. Oh, man, dude. Have you

00:53:47.710 --> 00:53:51.230
had a standing desk? It is. Oh, okay. I've never

00:53:51.230 --> 00:53:54.269
seen it in stand mode. Dude, that is true. It

00:53:54.269 --> 00:53:56.269
does that button. I make it rise. I'll be like,

00:53:56.309 --> 00:53:58.690
there we go. Bring it down. It just brings it

00:53:58.690 --> 00:54:03.150
down. It does, though. It is. Oh, shit, there

00:54:03.150 --> 00:54:05.409
it is. Hold on. Wait, it'll do it right now.

00:54:05.449 --> 00:54:09.510
Yeah. Okay, hold on. Please fall apart. All right.

00:54:09.530 --> 00:54:12.949
See ya. Say sea creature pocket pussy. Sea creature

00:54:12.949 --> 00:54:19.369
pocket pussy. Isn't that crazy? Look what you

00:54:19.369 --> 00:54:22.190
did. Now let's bring it back down. Bring it back

00:54:22.190 --> 00:54:24.630
down a little bit. All right. Lois with big tits.

00:54:27.610 --> 00:54:32.389
All right. Gay porn. Oh, man, it's going down

00:54:32.389 --> 00:54:38.559
all the way. Miss Incredible. I feel like that's

00:54:38.559 --> 00:54:41.579
higher than it is. No, do it. That's as low as

00:54:41.579 --> 00:54:49.639
it can go. Mr. Incredible nude. I hope you can't

00:54:49.639 --> 00:54:52.719
see any of this in the camera. You just hear

00:54:52.719 --> 00:54:54.800
the noise. You can't for sure, but it must be

00:54:54.800 --> 00:54:59.500
hilarious. All right, boys. Hell yeah. Good shoot.

00:54:59.519 --> 00:55:44.780
Have a good one. Good shit, Brandon Hate Scrappy

00:55:44.780 --> 00:55:45.039
-Doo.