WEBVTT 00:00:04.379 --> 00:00:08.400 Dude, I had a dude stalk me. I had a dude stalk 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:10.720 me. He kept coming to my house. He would like 00:00:10.720 --> 00:00:12.359 call me everywhere I was at. I know I was at 00:00:12.359 --> 00:00:14.080 the hospital. He'd be like, I remember one time 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:20.949 I was like, no, he's like, why? Welcome to Clown 00:00:20.949 --> 00:00:22.829 College. We have profound knowledge. In many 00:00:22.829 --> 00:00:24.589 ways, the elevator makes you sound polished. 00:00:24.670 --> 00:00:27.250 So if you want to hear a little honest, a few 00:00:27.250 --> 00:00:29.230 takes on the ways to make it as a comic, then 00:00:29.230 --> 00:00:31.269 stick around for a while. If you're down to Clown, 00:00:31.269 --> 00:00:33.310 we've got the guests right now just to show you 00:00:33.310 --> 00:00:40.390 how. Let's all go to Clown College, baby. It's 00:00:40.390 --> 00:00:45.390 with Brandon, Mellis, Don, and JJ. Let's all 00:00:45.390 --> 00:00:49.939 go to Clown College, baby. It's with Brandon 00:00:49.939 --> 00:01:17.769 we're the star of JJ. Okay, that's the first 00:01:17.769 --> 00:01:20.769 time I've seen Brandon in a shirt that fits that's 00:01:20.769 --> 00:01:25.370 crazy. I know man That's not true, bro The summer 00:01:25.370 --> 00:01:27.709 slant slam last week sure that bit. Thank you. 00:01:27.709 --> 00:01:34.010 Yes it did In the gym Frequently. Oh, yeah, man. 00:01:34.010 --> 00:01:36.329 I'm working. He was on the stair master in a 00:01:36.329 --> 00:01:39.109 weighted vest Yeah, nobody else is doing that 00:01:39.109 --> 00:01:41.489 in there. No, you're training for some right? 00:01:41.709 --> 00:01:44.969 Yeah That makes sense. Hell, yeah. Yeah, man. 00:01:45.090 --> 00:01:46.790 Stay out of his fucking shit. I'm saying he's 00:01:46.790 --> 00:01:53.370 David, dog. Whatever keeps me from dying. Yeah, 00:01:54.069 --> 00:01:56.150 yeah. Dance pass of the class. Yes, that too. 00:01:56.409 --> 00:01:57.989 You gotta walk a lot of stairs as a firefighter. 00:01:58.629 --> 00:02:00.150 Hell, yeah. You gotta drag people like me down. 00:02:00.510 --> 00:02:03.230 Yeah, yeah. Think about that. His eyes got real 00:02:03.230 --> 00:02:05.329 big. What's the move? What's the move? If you 00:02:05.329 --> 00:02:06.790 see somebody like me, I'm laid out on the floor. 00:02:06.989 --> 00:02:09.289 Do I see somebody like you? Well, uh, I don't 00:02:09.289 --> 00:02:37.280 give me We're gonna have to cut the walls No, 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.060 you know, we don't have time to get stared at, 00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:41.560 we'll carry you. What's the move to pick me up? 00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:45.139 It's name something that you're trying to do. 00:02:45.699 --> 00:02:47.919 Haven't learned that one yet. The carry? No, 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.280 we haven't, but I know I have to get you like 00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:52.080 this and hold you like this. Yeah. Like arms 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:54.960 over your... The fireman carry, they didn't have 00:02:54.960 --> 00:02:56.180 to have to touch you. That's like over your shoulder. 00:02:56.240 --> 00:02:58.599 Yeah, that's over your shoulder. That's how you're 00:02:58.599 --> 00:03:00.219 gonna have to get somebody like me out. That 00:03:00.219 --> 00:03:01.840 shit that you pulling like that ain't gonna work. 00:03:02.560 --> 00:03:05.259 Dead weight? No. I can't just hold you like that. 00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:08.319 That's not happening. You just got to get them 00:03:08.319 --> 00:03:10.960 to the edge of the stairs. And then it's just 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:14.460 push them down. He'll do the wall himself. When 00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:17.000 he gets rolling, the wall's already broken. Oh, 00:03:17.199 --> 00:03:19.000 man. He's rolling, man. I can't believe you said 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:22.919 that. That's hilarious, bro. That's wild. Probably 00:03:22.919 --> 00:03:25.669 destroy the building outside of you. And that'd 00:03:25.669 --> 00:03:27.310 be the easiest way. Just scenario, that was just 00:03:27.310 --> 00:03:29.550 scenarios. Just destroy the surrounding surfaces. 00:03:29.610 --> 00:03:32.949 Nah, man. It's hilarious. It's like sins. When 00:03:32.949 --> 00:03:34.430 you're in character, you'll build a door in the 00:03:34.430 --> 00:03:39.129 wall. You're on fire. Great connection. Hell 00:03:39.129 --> 00:03:42.210 yeah. I got faith he'll get me out. Oh yeah, 00:03:42.270 --> 00:03:44.069 I'll get you out, bro. We'll get you out. One 00:03:44.069 --> 00:03:45.449 way or another, we're getting you out. The most 00:03:45.449 --> 00:03:47.270 thing you're gonna learn is the cars, because... 00:03:47.289 --> 00:03:50.830 Most likely. I'm a die from a car related activity. 00:03:50.889 --> 00:03:54.189 Oh, yeah the car crash. Yeah Now you will have 00:03:54.189 --> 00:03:55.710 to get the jaws of life to get me out of there. 00:03:55.710 --> 00:03:59.490 Yeah, man. How how fast are you going? No, I 00:03:59.490 --> 00:04:04.669 don't really drive over Because people don't 00:04:04.669 --> 00:04:10.009 know how to drive Always miss that one is mine. 00:04:10.090 --> 00:04:14.430 I got you Well, you know, I almost died with 00:04:14.430 --> 00:04:17.240 this last car wreck Finally got to talk about 00:04:17.240 --> 00:04:21.980 it now cuz I finally got my settlement Yeah, 00:04:21.980 --> 00:04:24.839 it was a long grueling they didn't give a fuck 00:04:24.839 --> 00:04:27.180 they were just like it's cutting dry They hit 00:04:27.180 --> 00:04:29.439 you going this fast. So you should get this amount 00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:31.500 of money And then it was like two years later 00:04:31.500 --> 00:04:34.220 and like oh, we kind of forgot about your shit 00:04:34.220 --> 00:04:36.860 We could just put it in right now and get it 00:04:36.860 --> 00:04:40.660 really. Yeah, damn. No, that's how it works Well, 00:04:40.699 --> 00:04:42.339 you know a shout out to Morgan the Morgan cuz 00:04:42.339 --> 00:04:44.040 they were they were there for me when nobody 00:04:44.040 --> 00:05:06.060 else wasn't I'm a little nervous man. Well, you 00:05:06.060 --> 00:05:08.720 ever do like a stand -up show And you're going 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:11.019 up second and the guy before you shows his balls. 00:05:12.759 --> 00:05:16.240 If you ever did that. These are completely separate 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:21.060 days. I saw you guys change clothes and clearly 00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:23.420 you were prepared for that shirt. Dude, this 00:05:23.420 --> 00:05:26.420 is Dom's shirt. You find it fits well, doesn't 00:05:26.420 --> 00:05:29.759 it? There's something tickling me in the back. 00:05:30.439 --> 00:05:33.060 I like it. So Bryce, how are you going to top 00:05:33.060 --> 00:05:36.189 that? Top the balls? That's what I'm worried 00:05:36.189 --> 00:05:38.870 about. This is the fear I had. Oh, yeah. I think 00:05:38.870 --> 00:05:41.509 you gotta show ass. Yeah, just go ahead. Can 00:05:41.509 --> 00:05:43.750 I wait? Yeah, you can wait. Till about midway. 00:05:43.810 --> 00:05:45.850 We got about one minute there. Okay. How about 00:05:45.850 --> 00:05:47.709 that, then we should think of an excuse. You 00:05:47.709 --> 00:05:49.870 need to go clean up first? No, I'll stay clean. 00:05:49.889 --> 00:05:54.790 No, you good? No. Lucky you. Branded this guy. 00:05:54.889 --> 00:05:59.709 Yeah, I know, right? So, non -leakage. I'm cool, 00:05:59.790 --> 00:06:03.160 bro. Yeah. Finisher or nothing? I've had maybe 00:06:03.160 --> 00:06:05.959 two hemorrhoids ever. We all have. At the same 00:06:05.959 --> 00:06:08.000 time or like spread out? One, yeah, way spread 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.199 out. Years. What about you, man? Me? Aw, dude, 00:06:11.319 --> 00:06:13.639 I had an ulcer up in there one time. How'd you 00:06:13.639 --> 00:06:19.509 get that? Hmm, just being me. I basically angered 00:06:19.509 --> 00:06:21.730 myself. That's how you got it or how you got 00:06:21.730 --> 00:06:24.629 it off? Well, it's the chicken in there. Because 00:06:24.629 --> 00:06:27.769 that was my guess. I had to get medication and 00:06:27.769 --> 00:06:30.990 put it in there. Like a candlestick type thing? 00:06:31.850 --> 00:06:34.350 Hand. What do you mean candlestick type thing? 00:06:34.810 --> 00:06:37.649 That's what they give you to rectically. But 00:06:37.649 --> 00:06:38.990 what's the candlestick part? You gotta light 00:06:38.990 --> 00:06:41.100 a fire? It looks like a candlestick. Like a small 00:06:41.100 --> 00:06:42.660 one, and you shove it up there, and you gotta 00:06:42.660 --> 00:06:44.660 get knuckle deep or it falls back out. At least 00:06:44.660 --> 00:06:47.040 the first knuckle. Oh, it's suppository. Yeah, 00:06:47.100 --> 00:06:48.500 suppository. Yeah, yeah. Is that what you were 00:06:48.500 --> 00:06:50.779 talking about? No, mine was just like a Vaseline 00:06:50.779 --> 00:06:52.740 consistency. Oh, I mean, how many knuckles do 00:06:52.740 --> 00:06:55.660 you have to go? Just as many as it took to get 00:06:55.660 --> 00:06:59.600 up there. Was it one or two, man? Dude, I think 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:04.720 we're talking about... So you had to go all we 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:13.930 had to relax So you had to do that You have to 00:07:13.930 --> 00:07:15.470 do that? It was one of the options. You could 00:07:15.470 --> 00:07:17.810 wait it out. I would rather wait it out. Fuck 00:07:17.810 --> 00:07:20.149 that. You could have done that, waited it out, 00:07:20.230 --> 00:07:21.810 or like took a pill, but I'm waiting. Oh man, 00:07:21.829 --> 00:07:24.870 I'm waiting. I'm waiting too, bro. I'm trying 00:07:24.870 --> 00:07:26.769 to... Oh man, look how big my hands are, man. 00:07:26.870 --> 00:07:30.189 Deja's like, I need my asshole right now. ASAP. 00:07:30.949 --> 00:07:32.250 You don't want to be out of commission for too 00:07:32.250 --> 00:07:34.610 long. Yeah. If you had to do that, Brandon, would 00:07:34.610 --> 00:07:36.629 you rather have your finger or Alex's? I'd rather 00:07:36.629 --> 00:07:38.310 have nobody's finger. But you had to do it. Not 00:07:38.310 --> 00:07:41.050 a choice. I have to or I'm gonna die? Yeah. Alex's. 00:07:41.069 --> 00:07:43.500 Well, it looks like I might die. You look at 00:07:43.500 --> 00:07:44.740 his finger, look at yours. Which one would you 00:07:44.740 --> 00:07:46.360 rather have? He's Asian too, dude. I'm sorry, 00:07:46.500 --> 00:07:48.379 man. I do with my finger. I go at the pace I 00:07:48.379 --> 00:07:49.699 want to go. You go in yourself? Yeah, I'd rather, 00:07:49.860 --> 00:07:51.680 yeah. Yeah, that's the way you do it. You do 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:54.540 it yourself. Yeah, man, I'm good. But Alex is 00:07:54.540 --> 00:07:57.060 Asian and they have precise fingers. What's the 00:07:57.060 --> 00:07:59.279 word? Am I not gonna feel it or something? Well, 00:07:59.279 --> 00:08:01.480 they're known for their massage techniques, so 00:08:01.480 --> 00:08:19.360 he'll probably probably He didn't say no crazy 00:08:19.360 --> 00:08:21.959 is like this thing on the computers like we it 00:08:21.959 --> 00:08:25.480 already knew we're gonna talk about this It says, 00:08:25.540 --> 00:08:27.800 uh, why do you cough when the doctor holds your 00:08:27.800 --> 00:08:30.240 balls? And that says check for hernias. Yeah, 00:08:30.259 --> 00:08:32.799 he asked you to. Oh yeah, I sure did ask. Wait, 00:08:32.820 --> 00:08:34.840 can you go down to that one that says do guys 00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:37.440 get hard at the doctors? Hold on, let me record 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:40.899 this. Let's find this out. I want to know the 00:08:40.899 --> 00:08:43.860 answer to this. Yes, it is common and normally 00:08:43.860 --> 00:08:46.559 psychological response for men to experience 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:49.139 an erection during a medical exam, particularly 00:08:49.139 --> 00:08:52.519 a genital exam, and doctors are... accustomed 00:08:52.519 --> 00:08:56.360 to this. It could be an eye exam. Hell accustomed, 00:08:56.440 --> 00:08:59.220 so they're used to this. So if they come to touch 00:08:59.220 --> 00:09:03.279 on you, it's okay for you to get hurt. It's common. 00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:05.340 It's common. It's not okay. It's common though. 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:07.080 It's weird as hell. They're accustomed to it 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:08.740 so they know it happens. It does happen. Hell, 00:09:08.779 --> 00:09:10.860 who was the doctor? I'm not, this is not okay, 00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:13.960 but it, I understand. So is alcohol induced vehicular 00:09:13.960 --> 00:09:15.500 manslaughter, you know what I'm saying? It's 00:09:15.500 --> 00:09:19.720 common, but it's not great. You got your yin 00:09:19.720 --> 00:09:25.000 and yang. You just have to use examples people 00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:32.850 can relate to. I feel that. Hell yeah. Okay, 00:09:33.090 --> 00:09:35.450 so what if you were like EMS on the scene, you 00:09:35.450 --> 00:09:37.070 gotta put your hand up somebody's ass? Yeah, 00:09:37.090 --> 00:09:39.090 I gotta do what I gotta do. Damn right. So it's 00:09:39.090 --> 00:09:40.690 fine. So if you're getting paid for it, it's 00:09:40.690 --> 00:09:42.950 okay. Well, yeah, I'm saving a life, yeah, but 00:09:42.950 --> 00:09:47.789 if it's just me... If it's just me with me and 00:09:47.789 --> 00:09:50.500 myself, I'm like... With me, I'd be like, yeah, 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:52.639 whatever I have to. With another person's asshole, 00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:54.080 you'd be like, okay. Well, yeah, man, we gotta 00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:57.159 save that life. I mean, me, because if I'm not 00:09:57.159 --> 00:09:59.059 finna die, I mean, if I'm finna die, then I'd 00:09:59.059 --> 00:10:00.879 be like, yeah, I guess I'll do it, but if I'm 00:10:00.879 --> 00:10:03.519 not gonna die, then I can just wait it out. What 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:05.100 if you either, you're not gonna die, but it's 00:10:05.100 --> 00:10:06.919 gonna be like, you have to deal with two weeks 00:10:06.919 --> 00:10:09.139 of excruciating pain, or you could just stick 00:10:09.139 --> 00:10:11.360 it up there and you'll be done. It'll be done 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:13.919 by tomorrow, the pain, and it's real pain. You 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:16.679 see how fucking hard I was up there. Okay, man. 00:10:18.730 --> 00:10:21.049 I don't think I like that. I don't know, I get 00:10:21.049 --> 00:10:25.529 pause. I try it. I try it. You try, right? I 00:10:25.529 --> 00:10:27.269 try it. I got something in there if you need 00:10:27.269 --> 00:10:29.370 something there. Thankfully, we're in the clear 00:10:29.370 --> 00:10:32.029 now. Candlesticks. Candlesticks. No, I'm in the 00:10:32.029 --> 00:10:33.710 clear now, thankfully. I'll just give them to 00:10:33.710 --> 00:10:35.549 you for later. Yeah, yeah. You never know when 00:10:35.549 --> 00:10:38.309 they might pop back up and say hello. Bryce, 00:10:38.429 --> 00:10:40.549 you have a nice head of hair on you. Yeah, I 00:10:40.549 --> 00:10:43.669 need a haircut. You got a mane, dude. I got a 00:10:43.669 --> 00:10:46.039 lot. You look fake. You look so, like, you know 00:10:46.039 --> 00:10:48.860 what I mean? Damn. You look fake as shit. Damn. 00:10:49.159 --> 00:10:51.500 I don't even know how to respond to this. Damn, 00:10:51.659 --> 00:10:55.080 man. I'm real. I'm real, motherfuckers. Okay? 00:10:55.919 --> 00:10:58.399 I like the gradient you have going on. Gradient? 00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:00.700 Yeah, it's like the red beard into, like, the 00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:04.940 darker. I got a lot of colors. Red, white, and 00:11:04.940 --> 00:11:08.080 brown. That's me, dude. That's what this country's 00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:12.299 turning into. That's why I said it to you. I 00:11:12.299 --> 00:11:15.860 knew you knew it was a handoff. He'll take this. 00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:21.919 Two whites on the podcast this time. Mm -hmm. 00:11:22.019 --> 00:11:24.279 Thank you Alex look like Logan from Wolverine 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:27.340 man. I get the gay Wolverine. I understand This 00:11:27.340 --> 00:11:30.519 is the roast, okay. He didn't say gay though. 00:11:30.519 --> 00:11:33.539 Not gay, I didn't say gay. You made it insecure, 00:11:33.700 --> 00:11:39.379 like you motherfucker. Gay Wolverine dude. I 00:11:39.379 --> 00:11:42.399 meant to say thank you. Thanks Brandon. That's 00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:45.460 him right there. There you go. Yeah. Hell yeah, 00:11:45.460 --> 00:11:48.360 no show me being ripped, dude. Let me be great. 00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:51.120 This one right here Here go better one here. 00:11:51.259 --> 00:11:55.919 I am. Oh, yeah, my sins are gone When you pop 00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:58.919 the right hemorrhoid, you know, oh, yeah the 00:11:58.919 --> 00:12:04.139 right hemorrhoid Dom has right or left. Yeah, 00:12:04.139 --> 00:12:09.799 I don't know which one is which I Look great. 00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:15.000 They just said that dude Hell yeah. Did y 'all 00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:18.340 hear about John Cena? Dude. Fuck, dude. Fuck, 00:12:19.100 --> 00:12:21.879 man. I'm pissed. I am. Dude, me too. I'm pissed. 00:12:22.100 --> 00:12:24.799 Me too. And I'm glad now I'm not the only one 00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:26.600 anymore, man. Did y 'all already talk about this 00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:28.659 or something? No, no, man. I'm glad you brought 00:12:28.659 --> 00:12:32.000 that up. Let's talk about it. Man, shit. Yeah, 00:12:32.100 --> 00:12:33.759 pull him up. Man, look at this. Let's show you 00:12:33.759 --> 00:12:36.289 what he looks like now. Look at that, man. Damn. 00:12:36.350 --> 00:12:39.870 You look mad as hell. Oh, he has evil white guy 00:12:39.870 --> 00:12:44.309 hair. Here's him zooming in on the camera. Hairstylist. 00:12:45.049 --> 00:12:47.570 This is when he broke up with everybody. Oh my 00:12:47.570 --> 00:12:49.490 gosh, bro. He looks like he's losing a lot of 00:12:49.490 --> 00:12:53.149 weight. He looks a little sick. Yeah. I feel 00:12:53.149 --> 00:12:55.429 like he got shit done, didn't he? Like surgeries? 00:12:56.370 --> 00:12:58.529 If he did, he did. They had a good job. I'm not 00:12:58.529 --> 00:13:00.750 saying they didn't. You know whose face they 00:13:00.750 --> 00:13:04.039 fucked up, bro? Who? Zac Efron. Yeah, that's 00:13:04.039 --> 00:13:06.860 much more Tim. Yeah. Well. He was apparently 00:13:06.860 --> 00:13:09.019 coked up running around his apartment like Phil 00:13:09.019 --> 00:13:12.399 smashes But still how does that do that to it 00:13:12.399 --> 00:13:22.419 like nobody? He looks like fucking Meg Ryan Look 00:13:22.419 --> 00:13:25.059 like something's not right. He has a huge face 00:13:25.059 --> 00:13:28.379 stuff That's a massive lower than the eye face. 00:13:28.379 --> 00:13:32.720 That's a massive Angelina Jolie was a man. Don't 00:13:32.720 --> 00:13:36.080 you dare do that to that white queen? How dare 00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:38.860 you? She's so hot. She's so hot. When did she 00:13:38.860 --> 00:13:42.220 on Sharktales? What? She was on Sharktales. Angelina 00:13:42.220 --> 00:13:46.080 Jolie? Yeah. Remember Sharktales? Angelina Jolie 00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:47.580 is a woman over there. I know what you mean. 00:13:48.059 --> 00:13:51.980 No, I'm saying. Hold on. Let me tell you. Hold 00:13:51.980 --> 00:13:54.480 on. I'll show you. Look, hold on. Look, hold 00:13:54.480 --> 00:13:57.440 on. See, look, Angelina Jolie, she with Lola. 00:13:57.679 --> 00:14:01.620 Yeah, but that's the... I could name another 00:14:01.620 --> 00:14:05.340 movie she's been in besides Shark Tale. Mr. and 00:14:05.340 --> 00:14:06.759 Mrs. Smith. It's a good fish right there, though. 00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:09.500 They did a good job with that fish. Did she blackface 00:14:09.500 --> 00:14:12.320 a fish? She has big lips, too, bro. It's her, 00:14:12.320 --> 00:14:16.419 too. That's sexy red, though. It's a nice thing. 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:17.840 I remember when I was a kid, I was like, that's 00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:22.389 a fish right there. Oh, I thought we was doing 00:14:22.389 --> 00:14:25.389 sexy, duh. Is she saying that? She said a what? 00:14:25.409 --> 00:14:27.549 Say it again. I thought we were doing sexy red 00:14:27.549 --> 00:14:29.710 corpse. Why didn't you enunciate the end? That's 00:14:29.710 --> 00:14:31.929 how she does it, booty hole brown. She was singing 00:14:31.929 --> 00:14:34.409 about a booty hole. Yeah. She said, my pussy 00:14:34.409 --> 00:14:37.169 pink, my booty hole brown. That's how kids are 00:14:37.169 --> 00:14:39.789 learning colors. That's a good way to learn. 00:14:39.789 --> 00:14:41.809 That's the right way to do it. That's a good 00:14:41.809 --> 00:14:45.950 way to learn, I guess. I learned it. But you 00:14:45.950 --> 00:14:48.230 you were young when you learned that oh hell 00:14:48.230 --> 00:14:50.169 yeah like in third grade because the other kids 00:14:50.169 --> 00:14:53.450 they tell you Well, you had a friend. Hey, they 00:14:53.450 --> 00:14:55.889 tell you everything they taught me the bird told 00:14:55.889 --> 00:14:59.379 me about this like everything about Beating stuff. 00:14:59.379 --> 00:15:01.000 I remember people like you beat you me and I 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:02.080 thought that they were talking about like grabbing 00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:03.500 a steak and like hitting the steak I'm like, 00:15:03.659 --> 00:15:06.059 yeah, man And then when they would ask like what 00:15:06.059 --> 00:15:07.600 size this thing was and like I remember I was 00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:09.320 like on the school bus in middle school I was 00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:10.679 like, it's like this guy thought they were talking 00:15:10.679 --> 00:15:12.700 about like that size I didn't know they meant 00:15:12.700 --> 00:15:14.700 like how long it is like that. I said it's something 00:15:14.700 --> 00:15:16.740 I like that So when they said this I thought 00:15:16.740 --> 00:15:20.200 they were talking about it's like swollen The 00:15:20.200 --> 00:15:26.279 meat penis or you dick But you were talking about 00:15:26.279 --> 00:15:29.590 the beat No, he was talking about it, but once 00:15:29.590 --> 00:15:31.129 I realized what they're talking about every time 00:15:31.129 --> 00:15:33.070 I sighed I thought they were measuring it like 00:15:33.070 --> 00:15:36.110 that. So I wouldn't be like, it's like this and 00:15:36.110 --> 00:15:37.529 everybody would be like, it's like right here. 00:15:37.570 --> 00:15:39.730 And I'm like, damn, bruh. And they'd be like, 00:15:39.929 --> 00:15:41.350 yeah. And they'd be like, all right, cool. So 00:15:41.350 --> 00:15:44.230 you better do it long ways. Yeah, because I thought 00:15:44.230 --> 00:15:46.649 they meant like going in there or something like 00:15:46.649 --> 00:15:53.259 that as a kid. Yeah, not like this. Brandon's 00:15:53.259 --> 00:15:54.860 pants -a -monding abilities aren't the best, 00:15:54.860 --> 00:15:57.700 dude. And we realized this during the great soft 00:15:57.700 --> 00:16:01.600 taco demonstration in 2023 when he was like, 00:16:01.639 --> 00:16:04.080 demonstrating how he would eat a soft taco. He 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:08.139 had no idea what he was doing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. 00:16:08.639 --> 00:16:11.559 How do you all eat a soft taco, huh? So how do 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:13.659 you do it? What happened? I just get a soft taco 00:16:13.659 --> 00:16:15.000 and eat it like that. Because of we time -out. 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:17.960 Like sideways? Like opening it sideways? Yeah. 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:20.990 The opening towards you or the back? Mean which 00:16:20.990 --> 00:16:22.289 every way to talk we ever want to go to time. 00:16:22.289 --> 00:16:26.570 You don't care. Okay? Real tacos. What are we 00:16:26.570 --> 00:16:29.929 talking about? Yeah Taco Bell time? Get it. I'll 00:16:29.929 --> 00:16:31.710 eat it like that because why would I even like 00:16:31.710 --> 00:16:37.070 I can straightforward? Options so you could roll 00:16:37.070 --> 00:16:39.350 it up just like straight ahead man. I just turn 00:16:39.350 --> 00:16:42.789 it so you eat lettuce first Oh, man, do whatever's 00:16:42.789 --> 00:16:45.509 there? But you know what I mean like, you know, 00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:47.049 they put the meat on the bottom. Yeah cheese 00:16:47.049 --> 00:16:49.419 and the lettuce So I just bite everything at 00:16:49.419 --> 00:16:52.600 the same time. There's no start. Just eat it 00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:54.080 all at the same time. Because that's what it's 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:55.620 for, the combination, man. We're not gonna eat 00:16:55.620 --> 00:16:57.620 one at a time. No, yeah, we agree on that part. 00:16:58.080 --> 00:17:01.480 Yeah. You're right, Brandon. Thank you. Thank 00:17:01.480 --> 00:17:03.779 you, man. What are you talking about, JJ? I'm 00:17:03.779 --> 00:17:08.599 confused. What the fuck, dude? I just recovered 00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:11.740 from an ailment after I wrapped up my active 00:17:11.740 --> 00:17:15.180 tour. in the U .S. military, dude. You guys know. 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:17.779 What are you talking about? I joined the military, 00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:20.740 I'm a veteran of this country. He went to MAPS 00:17:20.740 --> 00:17:23.119 and said, dog. Really? He didn't even go to MAPS, 00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:25.799 I'm sorry. I took to ASVAB, and they were like, 00:17:25.900 --> 00:17:28.200 come back tomorrow. And I was like, you betcha. 00:17:28.660 --> 00:17:30.700 Right in early, I'll be here. Never showed up. 00:17:33.380 --> 00:17:35.130 Because... Now you tell me you're a soldier you're 00:17:35.130 --> 00:17:36.809 gonna tell people this when you're 60 I almost 00:17:36.809 --> 00:17:49.690 join You're not a veteran don't tell people this 00:17:49.690 --> 00:18:04.810 I'm halfway in the handicap halfway in Damn. 00:18:04.810 --> 00:18:06.190 I mean, I watched Captain America. So I won't 00:18:06.190 --> 00:18:08.109 be treated like this, dude. You go talk to a 00:18:08.109 --> 00:18:09.630 veteran like this? He's a firefighter, though. 00:18:09.630 --> 00:18:11.170 Hey, you know what? I watched Captain America. 00:18:12.069 --> 00:18:13.809 Captain America? I'm just kidding. I'm just fucking 00:18:13.809 --> 00:18:15.529 with you. You're a firefighter. Which one? Huh? 00:18:15.750 --> 00:18:17.849 What'd you do? Wait, what? You're a firefighter, 00:18:17.890 --> 00:18:19.150 though. You're a hero, too. Oh, well, eventually. 00:18:19.250 --> 00:18:22.009 Eventually, we'll be there. You don't have the 00:18:22.009 --> 00:18:24.589 same interests as him. If you were him, you'd 00:18:24.589 --> 00:18:26.170 be a firefighter. Yeah, you're more of a firefighter 00:18:26.170 --> 00:18:32.259 than he is a veteran. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he actually 00:18:32.259 --> 00:18:34.680 did training for this. I trained in. What'd you 00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:39.079 train? Ran. You gotta run in the arm. It's a 00:18:39.079 --> 00:18:42.140 big part. It is a big part. I make my bed sometimes. 00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:45.279 Damn. You do the creases though? Creases? Yeah. 00:18:45.450 --> 00:18:49.769 Crazy frowned upon in my unit. I see I see based 00:18:49.769 --> 00:19:02.190 on your shirt. That is correct Same day, that's 00:19:02.190 --> 00:19:05.230 why Bryce's callback was funny. This is Dom's 00:19:05.230 --> 00:19:15.380 shirt. He's folding Hell yeah, I know what our 00:19:15.380 --> 00:19:23.700 next target is paramilitary Hell yeah, that's 00:19:23.700 --> 00:19:28.500 me right? You're the first to go Wow Lighting 00:19:28.500 --> 00:19:31.039 a fire in here, so I can't have you around spillies. 00:19:32.299 --> 00:19:36.400 Oh You spit it too, bro. You can let me go I'm 00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:47.259 bombing Everybody loves you Bryce Thanks, man. 00:19:47.259 --> 00:19:49.099 You're like one of the most beloved comics in 00:19:49.099 --> 00:19:53.460 the strongest. Yep. Definitely tell them about 00:19:53.460 --> 00:20:07.109 it Oh my gosh, look at this. He actually does 00:20:07.109 --> 00:20:10.789 look like just like Actually any white guy with 00:20:10.789 --> 00:20:13.450 a beard, I guess. Yeah, you put a plan on you 00:20:13.450 --> 00:20:16.670 dude. I got a color my beard I've considered 00:20:16.670 --> 00:20:20.890 it. Oh Bryce we got a member. We got to do that 00:20:20.890 --> 00:20:26.710 skit with you in the dashiki shirt Hmm. Yeah 00:20:26.710 --> 00:20:31.480 where I'm like a white slave No, sure. No, I 00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:32.740 mean, I didn't think I'd be what if you want 00:20:32.740 --> 00:20:35.240 to do that though? I'm so not a black girl, right? 00:20:35.359 --> 00:20:37.720 Yeah, but I'm like, uh, we're gonna do white 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:39.359 slave though I mean, I mean that's growing on 00:20:39.359 --> 00:20:45.259 me right now as you say it sounds like a good 00:20:45.259 --> 00:20:48.039 band name, too Dude, dude, you do white slave 00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:49.920 woof woof. JJ wrote you something up right now. 00:20:50.039 --> 00:20:52.119 You know he got some other shit for that. He's 00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:55.240 like, I already have a bunch of slave stuff. 00:20:55.819 --> 00:20:57.440 Now he's gonna add the white. Now I just have 00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:03.539 to find the right way. He's gonna make it white, 00:21:04.519 --> 00:21:07.480 okay. Slave chick. But are you owned by whites 00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:09.400 or owned by blacks? I think I own my blacks in 00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:12.259 this. This is like an altar. This is like a Twilight 00:21:12.259 --> 00:21:16.039 Zone. Potentially. We'll just say it's historically 00:21:16.039 --> 00:21:19.180 accurate. We'll look up where I guarantee there 00:21:19.180 --> 00:21:22.599 was a black slave owner who owned Irish indentured 00:21:22.599 --> 00:21:25.480 servants. I love you, dude. I love this guy. 00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:29.700 You're going to be the president. Did you know 00:21:29.700 --> 00:21:32.579 that? He's talking like that. United States, 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:37.380 bro. You're the perfect person. That shit makes 00:21:37.380 --> 00:21:41.640 me mad. All the political shit. You know what 00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:43.500 else makes me mad is the young people care so 00:21:43.500 --> 00:21:46.599 much about it. Oh yeah, it's stupid. I haven't 00:21:46.599 --> 00:21:49.700 cared yet. Me neither. Me neither. I was literally 00:21:49.700 --> 00:21:52.640 18 when Obama, and I was like, dude, we're going 00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:54.160 to have a black president. Am I going to go vote? 00:21:54.200 --> 00:21:57.089 Probably not, but I'm not waiting in line. I 00:21:57.089 --> 00:22:00.190 still think that's tight and then These guys 00:22:00.190 --> 00:22:02.690 are these young ones are like all just hawker. 00:22:02.690 --> 00:22:05.130 They let it ruin their days man That's why do 00:22:05.130 --> 00:22:07.190 you imagine these rich people who play golf together 00:22:07.190 --> 00:22:08.789 after they didn't say whatever they're saying 00:22:08.789 --> 00:22:10.329 to let you ruin your day? Don't talk to your 00:22:10.329 --> 00:22:14.390 my mom. I'm your grand -grand. Yeah crazy. It's 00:22:14.390 --> 00:22:17.970 crazy. Yeah, we'll do the white slave thing Let's 00:22:17.970 --> 00:22:21.210 get back to some real shit White slaves do I 00:22:21.210 --> 00:22:23.950 look I guarantee I am I'm almost positive. That's 00:22:23.950 --> 00:22:26.200 that's the thing that happened And you'll just 00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:27.819 play that person. We'll get the whole story accurate. 00:22:27.819 --> 00:22:29.480 Oh, bro, we talk about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:22:29.480 --> 00:22:30.920 let's do that. I just didn't know you guys knew. 00:22:33.579 --> 00:22:36.000 That's in you guys's community. Yeah, he's getting 00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:38.619 shy he knows to when they burn the library of 00:22:38.619 --> 00:22:43.319 Alexandria a lot of those records got lost We 00:22:43.319 --> 00:22:45.420 built the pyramids. That's why when you open 00:22:45.420 --> 00:22:47.539 up the history textbook, that's why the pharaoh 00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:50.220 is white. It was the Irish who built the pyramids. 00:22:50.460 --> 00:22:53.440 It was the Irish. It fucking sucked. I mean they 00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:57.900 were probably like a sandy color. Who? The people 00:22:57.900 --> 00:22:59.980 who built the pyramids by sandy toward more white. 00:22:59.980 --> 00:23:01.460 I think they were black. They were just tan. 00:23:01.579 --> 00:23:03.319 I think they were very black. They weren't black. 00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:06.779 They were in the sun all the time. They had that 00:23:06.779 --> 00:23:09.359 like a Florida woman skin, like the hot dog skin. 00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:11.599 You think they're sexy? No, I didn't think of 00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:13.039 that. Right? Because they didn't have anything 00:23:13.039 --> 00:23:14.319 to protect them. Everybody just had melanoma. 00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:17.359 Yeah, for sure. They died when they were 10. 00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:20.759 That's why you had to work them young. It takes 00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:22.900 a lot of kids to pull those, they think it's 00:23:22.900 --> 00:23:24.539 the aliens. No, it's fucking throw enough slaves 00:23:24.539 --> 00:23:26.500 at something. I guarantee it gets done. Especially 00:23:26.500 --> 00:23:29.819 with all those plagues. Yeah. Oh. That would 00:23:29.819 --> 00:23:34.700 be annoying. I don't like how intently you looked 00:23:34.700 --> 00:23:37.019 at me when you said that. Like, Bryce knows. 00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:45.799 He's heard the tales. Yeah, it works. John Cena, 00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:49.579 huh? That is a big problem. He's the direct descendant 00:23:49.579 --> 00:23:52.799 of Ramses II, dude. Who? Oh, which one was Ramses? 00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:54.720 Was he cool? One of the important ones. I know, 00:23:54.819 --> 00:23:57.460 I remember. Damn. Ramsey did some good shit. 00:23:57.460 --> 00:23:59.839 His son died in one of the plays we did. You 00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:02.400 know, Passover and what not. So people you don't 00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:04.519 really care for. Which one? The Jews, yeah. Oh 00:24:04.519 --> 00:24:08.220 god. We're having a good episode. It was so good. 00:24:08.299 --> 00:24:12.180 But actually, they're good people now. Because 00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:13.940 the person who tased me made me realize that. 00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:17.720 And he won't stop hitting us up about the D &D. 00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:20.369 He just hit me up. He's like, so... Dude, we 00:24:20.369 --> 00:24:22.009 were at... I want my character to be a white 00:24:22.009 --> 00:24:29.130 slave. That's a good D &D. White slave. Dude, 00:24:30.029 --> 00:24:34.309 he chased me there. Cracker Jim. Oh, shit. Cracker 00:24:34.309 --> 00:24:40.430 Jim. I had to campaign for his freedom. Yes. 00:24:40.549 --> 00:24:42.630 I love it. I love that. That's good. That's really 00:24:42.630 --> 00:24:46.049 good. We got to get up on board. Yeah, don't 00:24:46.049 --> 00:24:49.690 he get like they the They get to make the whole 00:24:49.690 --> 00:24:51.730 thing and we just have to follow it or do you 00:24:51.730 --> 00:24:54.549 get input? I don't know. Do you know? None of 00:24:54.549 --> 00:24:58.950 us I played D &D before what was your question? 00:24:59.769 --> 00:25:02.329 So the the deep dungeon master they make up the 00:25:02.329 --> 00:25:04.529 whole story and we just follow. Yeah, we give 00:25:04.529 --> 00:25:05.990 input Well, he'll probably like you have like 00:25:05.990 --> 00:25:08.529 a prompt He's found unless he makes it the whole 00:25:08.529 --> 00:25:10.329 fucking thing but most time they have like a 00:25:10.329 --> 00:25:13.190 thing. No, they Google it Could the campaign 00:25:13.190 --> 00:25:18.140 be on a plantation? That's my question. Um, yeah. 00:25:18.519 --> 00:25:20.519 Oh my god, does he have to talk in a slave voice 00:25:20.519 --> 00:25:22.759 when he's, like, on the NPC? Whatever a white 00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:24.059 slave turns out to be. Barbarossa has to be like, 00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:27.400 well, master can't fit in. Does that have to 00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:29.859 happen? But I like the white slave voice. It's 00:25:29.859 --> 00:25:33.599 kind of hot outside. Oh, I don't want to rake 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:41.019 in. I don't want to. Oh, wow. Forge again? Man. 00:25:41.420 --> 00:25:46.180 God, it's just too... You put too much salt in 00:25:46.180 --> 00:25:53.099 it. Oh, God. Ready to get down for this? Down 00:25:53.099 --> 00:25:55.500 for Dungeons and Dragons? Hell, yeah. Let's get 00:25:55.500 --> 00:25:57.099 some Dungeons and Dragons. We're about to have 00:25:57.099 --> 00:25:58.740 some white slaves, dude. Have you played before? 00:25:59.259 --> 00:26:02.500 Dude, I almost did. I wanted to for years. I 00:26:02.500 --> 00:26:04.759 remember, I almost did. There was a library and 00:26:04.759 --> 00:26:06.579 I was supposed to do it, but it was the exact 00:26:06.579 --> 00:26:09.039 time of wrestling practice. Sadly, I missed out. 00:26:09.079 --> 00:26:12.710 Damn. So you had to do more tight shit? Yeah, 00:26:12.710 --> 00:26:15.690 it was a board game club, an anime club. You 00:26:15.690 --> 00:26:17.009 were in that? Both of them? Well, yeah, because 00:26:17.009 --> 00:26:18.910 you know, I was kind of, you know, I didn't have 00:26:18.910 --> 00:26:20.710 many friends, so I was like trying to get into 00:26:20.710 --> 00:26:22.329 something. Mm -hmm. I know, they all stepped 00:26:22.329 --> 00:26:24.730 you. Oh, they sure did. The anime guys. That's 00:26:24.730 --> 00:26:27.029 me, bro. And these guys are me, bro. That's why 00:26:27.029 --> 00:26:29.170 I ran in some furries. You can't put anime and 00:26:29.170 --> 00:26:31.910 D &D in the same category. Why not? They're the 00:26:31.910 --> 00:26:33.309 same fucking thing. Which one's superior, dude? 00:26:33.430 --> 00:26:35.490 Which one's superior? Anime. So all three of 00:26:35.490 --> 00:26:38.059 you guys watch anime. Yeah, I mean some of it. 00:26:38.180 --> 00:26:39.619 Some of it. A lot of people watch anime, bro. 00:26:39.980 --> 00:26:41.859 Yeah. A lot of people, huh? A lot of people watch 00:26:41.859 --> 00:26:43.180 anime, man. I watched some. You told me to watch 00:26:43.180 --> 00:26:45.279 one last episode. It was at... I don't remember. 00:26:45.539 --> 00:26:49.380 Ghost of Shinami. That's a video game. That's 00:26:49.380 --> 00:26:50.660 a video game. That's a video game. That's a video 00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:50.799 game. That's a video game. That's a video game. 00:26:51.039 --> 00:26:52.619 That's a video game. That's a video game. That's 00:26:52.619 --> 00:26:54.480 a video game. That's a video game. That's a video 00:26:54.480 --> 00:27:00.519 game. That's a video game. That's a video game. 00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:02.180 That's a video game. That's a video game. That's 00:27:02.180 --> 00:27:03.859 a video game. That's a video game. That's a video 00:27:03.859 --> 00:27:04.140 game. That's a video game. That's a video game. 00:27:04.140 --> 00:27:04.920 That's a video game. That's a video game. That's 00:27:04.920 --> 00:27:09.400 a video game. That's a video game. That's a video 00:27:09.400 --> 00:27:15.759 game. That's a video game. That's a video game. 00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:20.900 I've been watching this one right now where it's 00:27:20.900 --> 00:27:23.940 about like these people they go to a school in 00:27:23.940 --> 00:27:26.759 a world where it's like 2095 there's World War 00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:29.079 three a whole bunch of people died now there's 00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:31.440 only like three billion people on the planet 00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:36.539 They use magic, but it's like computer -based 00:27:36.539 --> 00:27:38.839 magic. You lost them, bro. You gotta skip through 00:27:38.839 --> 00:27:42.200 that. It's technology -based magic. So it's like 00:27:42.200 --> 00:27:44.839 the technology in all these sequences, they help 00:27:44.839 --> 00:27:47.619 you perform these magic spells. Yeah, anime's 00:27:47.619 --> 00:27:50.579 gay. You lost me a bad one, too. You turned me. 00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:54.299 Me, too. Well, that might have been in the Jewish 00:27:54.299 --> 00:27:58.720 conspiracy video. She sounds just like that. 00:27:59.339 --> 00:28:05.559 Six billion, and then... Hey Dom, you want to 00:28:05.559 --> 00:28:07.759 see something more like simple, you know, I mean 00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:10.319 Like something that I like, I'm telling you this 00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:12.519 is what I like. Yeah, I actually appreciate that. 00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:13.900 Thank you man. Look at it. He needs it. Ghost 00:28:13.900 --> 00:28:17.039 Follows UU Haka Show, man. It's just like, thank 00:28:17.039 --> 00:28:18.700 you. It's just a dude. He's fighting all these 00:28:18.700 --> 00:28:21.759 like ghosts and spirits. And dude, he's badass. 00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:25.339 Or Cowboy Bebop. You love Cowboy Bebop. I try 00:28:25.339 --> 00:28:27.819 to watch the real one. I watched the real one 00:28:27.819 --> 00:28:31.250 and that sucked. We won't even search that up. 00:28:31.250 --> 00:28:34.589 We won't even search that up. We won't even search 00:28:34.589 --> 00:28:38.480 that up. We won't even search that up. Cuz it's 00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:43.059 not it don't work. That's the shit. I'm into 00:28:43.059 --> 00:28:51.400 it That's number one time for them to fight whoever 00:28:51.400 --> 00:28:58.859 the fuck that yeah They like this dude, what 00:28:58.859 --> 00:29:01.099 do you talk every every Mexican is required to 00:29:01.099 --> 00:29:03.480 have a Dragon Ball Z really they're all Goku 00:29:04.669 --> 00:29:07.690 I haven't I never thought about this, but I agree 00:29:07.690 --> 00:29:13.750 go to Ross Yeah, yeah Kind of like this brother 00:29:13.750 --> 00:29:18.250 though man Raditz Mm -hmm Weak as hell, but like 00:29:18.250 --> 00:29:20.309 he was he was dying. He didn't get to go Super 00:29:20.309 --> 00:29:22.369 Saiyan did he? Hell no, they killed him right 00:29:22.369 --> 00:29:24.329 away. He ain't go super. He wasn't he was the 00:29:24.329 --> 00:29:28.710 weakest one Piccolo was the black guy He was 00:29:28.710 --> 00:29:35.190 a vibe thing and that's why he was strong, but 00:29:35.190 --> 00:29:36.930 he wasn't strong enough to be like that. You 00:29:36.930 --> 00:29:38.829 don't think you know, I mean character Yeah, 00:29:38.829 --> 00:29:43.269 he's like up there. He's a cool black guy Yeah, 00:29:43.269 --> 00:29:46.109 oh for sure you got a sacrifice piccolo, it's 00:29:46.109 --> 00:29:50.309 the turban to really They brought back though. 00:29:50.309 --> 00:29:51.950 Remember he saved the kid. He jumped it from 00:29:51.950 --> 00:29:57.500 the kid and go hot and then pull I believe you 00:29:57.500 --> 00:30:01.319 though. Who would you pick if you was a Dragon 00:30:01.319 --> 00:30:02.900 Ball Z character who would be your character? 00:30:03.539 --> 00:30:07.579 You first. Me? Alright. Oh, Vegeta. Oh yeah. 00:30:07.579 --> 00:30:09.400 Without a doubt, Vegeta. You're on our side, 00:30:09.519 --> 00:30:11.500 but you're kind of not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:15.759 I get mad. I can see that. What do you think, 00:30:15.900 --> 00:30:19.319 dude? Trunks. That's a good one. You are Trunks. 00:30:19.420 --> 00:30:36.089 Dude, you can play Trunks. I don't remember his 00:30:36.089 --> 00:30:38.970 name, but the actual is it Shinron the dragon? 00:30:39.230 --> 00:30:42.730 Oh, you'd be the dragon. The infinitely aged 00:30:42.730 --> 00:30:46.410 dragon. What a choice. You only get to come out 00:30:46.410 --> 00:30:48.329 like once every millennium. Somebody touches 00:30:48.329 --> 00:30:50.930 my balls, I come out. Who's going to be the racist 00:30:50.930 --> 00:30:53.069 cartoon black guy? You don't know who I'm talking 00:30:53.069 --> 00:30:55.609 about? Mr. Poe? Oh, my God. You talking about 00:30:55.609 --> 00:30:57.670 Jinx, bro? Mr. Poe, that's definitely Brandon. 00:30:58.390 --> 00:31:03.670 Oh, man. Damn. Goddamn. Nah, man. Brandon, that's 00:31:03.670 --> 00:31:19.109 Jinx. Let me show you my god, let me show you 00:31:21.079 --> 00:31:23.039 Man, that dude was tight as hell, bro. I had 00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:26.839 that on VHS. Dude. Broly. Man, Broly was the 00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:28.700 shit. Which one was Broly? Was he Goku Daddy 00:31:28.700 --> 00:31:30.180 or something? No. He's the one that came in and 00:31:30.180 --> 00:31:31.319 started beating everybody's ass. Yeah, dude. 00:31:31.400 --> 00:31:33.759 No, even Goku couldn't control that dude. They 00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:36.740 had to get Vegeta. They had to get Vegeta. Yeah, 00:31:38.140 --> 00:31:40.660 they had both of them fight at the same time. 00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:43.640 My boy. They both had to fight. Nobody picked 00:31:43.640 --> 00:31:46.559 Cell. Cell was a bad motherfucker, dog. I can 00:31:46.559 --> 00:31:51.180 see that being jailed. Hey, Cell, wipe. I didn't 00:31:51.180 --> 00:31:58.200 like how he pulled out. Dude. Nah, man. Dude, 00:31:58.220 --> 00:32:01.059 I didn't... He's sharp. Look. Speak sharply. 00:32:01.579 --> 00:32:04.880 Long tail instead of the hair. Dude, Sel needs 00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:06.880 a charge, man. He pulled out that long stick 00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:08.319 and started, like, going up to people. And they're 00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:10.279 like, no! And he just sucked the soul out of 00:32:10.279 --> 00:32:13.079 them like that. That wasn't right. I've had that 00:32:13.079 --> 00:32:15.720 before. That was fucking nah, man. And they didn't 00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:18.549 want that. It looks like YouTube, man. New to 00:32:18.549 --> 00:32:22.049 was a dog new to was a dog and the Bibbidi Bobbidi 00:32:22.049 --> 00:32:25.730 boo Fuck we say that's the real thing. This is 00:32:25.730 --> 00:32:28.930 where it was different spots of them. I think 00:32:28.930 --> 00:32:36.410 I Got you no, I was talking about me to the pussy. 00:32:36.410 --> 00:32:42.630 Oh, that's not yeah, that's not man like Patrick's 00:32:42.630 --> 00:32:45.250 Badass friends is this bro? Well, Pat's the big 00:32:45.250 --> 00:32:48.289 one. Who fucks you up? Okay. Evans has to be 00:32:48.289 --> 00:32:51.730 sci -fi for the other one. As an evolution. Who's 00:32:51.730 --> 00:32:54.930 Freeza? Alex. Alex, hell yeah. Dude, yes. Black 00:32:54.930 --> 00:33:01.829 Freeza. Now I'm on board. Who's Jalen? That's 00:33:01.829 --> 00:33:04.329 a real one though, right? Who's Jalen? Who's 00:33:04.329 --> 00:33:10.829 Jalen? Master Roshi? Actually? Yeah, dude. The 00:33:10.829 --> 00:33:19.910 pervert. Wait, should I be Dante then? Dante 00:33:19.910 --> 00:33:23.210 might be Boo then. No, Dante is definitely Majo. 00:33:24.230 --> 00:33:27.009 Well, Pat would be funnier as Majo and Boo. Is 00:33:27.009 --> 00:33:30.589 there a fresh character? Probably. Oh yeah, there's 00:33:30.589 --> 00:33:33.470 Boo, there's Kid Boo, Majo. Yeah. Yeah. Syfy 00:33:33.470 --> 00:33:36.670 would be Kid Boo. Syfy would be Kid Boo. Scottie 00:33:36.670 --> 00:33:40.309 Sin would be Boo. The adult Boo. Because he doesn't 00:33:40.309 --> 00:33:50.750 have hair. This guy with his small pupils. Wait, 00:33:50.829 --> 00:33:53.490 so who's gonna be Goku? Oh, yeah, we're a bunch 00:33:53.490 --> 00:33:55.210 of fucking betas, dude. Nobody chose the main 00:33:55.210 --> 00:33:57.470 character. Well, Goku got his ass whupped a lot. 00:33:57.789 --> 00:33:59.589 Well, Bryce would have to be Goku because he's 00:33:59.589 --> 00:34:01.529 as strong as you can be. I love it. I love it. 00:34:01.849 --> 00:34:05.109 I accept. Thank God you guys said it. Nobody 00:34:05.109 --> 00:34:09.150 picks Goku, guys. I can't go second and pick 00:34:09.150 --> 00:34:13.190 Goku. I'll wait for them to say it. Thanks, dude. 00:34:16.170 --> 00:34:21.199 He sees it. Hell yes, the anime is great. The 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:23.880 anime is great. Dom's gonna get into it. Did 00:34:23.880 --> 00:34:26.739 you ever see any of the episodes of Naruto? Nope, 00:34:27.019 --> 00:34:28.900 never seen that. You never saw a single one? 00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:31.579 No. Naruto? Even if you woke up at like 3 a .m. 00:34:31.579 --> 00:34:33.199 It was just on the TV. Naruto? I don't think 00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:36.119 I was that when I was... At the first Believe 00:34:36.119 --> 00:34:38.199 It, dude, he's gonna be out. The first time he 00:34:38.199 --> 00:34:41.199 goes Believe It, he's gonna be out. He doesn't 00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:43.159 like friendship. I tell you what I fuck with 00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:46.900 of Naruto is Rock Lee, dude. That's my guy. Are 00:34:46.900 --> 00:34:48.760 you like the guy without any abilities? Yeah, 00:34:49.340 --> 00:34:52.480 but he wills. He just tries really hard. He does. 00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:55.920 I love it. Oh, that could be Brandon because 00:34:55.920 --> 00:34:57.400 he runs around with the training belt on. Why 00:34:57.400 --> 00:35:01.280 is that like Naruto? Dude, what the fuck? I said 00:35:01.280 --> 00:35:04.119 Rockle. And as soon as I said Raku, that popped 00:35:04.119 --> 00:35:06.539 up with defeat. What the hell? His name's Rock? 00:35:07.199 --> 00:35:09.860 Where you see feet at? No, look right here. Soon 00:35:09.860 --> 00:35:13.349 as I say it, I say Rock. Oh, no! Brand did. You 00:35:13.349 --> 00:35:16.309 found gay porn? Brand did. Have you been looking 00:35:16.309 --> 00:35:17.889 up stuff on this computer? No, man. There ain't 00:35:17.889 --> 00:35:19.969 nobody looking up this. Why is it so much white? 00:35:19.969 --> 00:35:20.730 Why are you still staring? I don't even know 00:35:20.730 --> 00:35:24.030 who I'm looking at. I said rock who and that 00:35:24.030 --> 00:35:25.730 popped up. Brandon, why are you not clinging 00:35:25.730 --> 00:35:28.289 on? He found the weird porn. He's getting excited 00:35:28.289 --> 00:35:32.250 over this. Aw, man. He can't watch it? They had 00:35:32.250 --> 00:35:34.489 a feather there too. Is that what you like, Brandon? 00:35:34.809 --> 00:35:36.269 The feather to your feet? The undertook the porn? 00:35:36.269 --> 00:35:38.349 Well, not to me. Oh, you like to do it to other 00:35:38.349 --> 00:35:41.670 feet. That's a control serve. I respect it. I'll 00:35:41.670 --> 00:35:47.409 observe. Back in the day, I would observe. Back 00:35:47.409 --> 00:35:49.110 in the day, I would observe. That's what they 00:35:49.110 --> 00:35:50.889 do? Take a feather to the feet? Yeah, they do 00:35:50.889 --> 00:35:52.590 shit like that. What's the other things that 00:35:52.590 --> 00:35:58.449 they do in these videos? Tie it up. What do they 00:35:58.449 --> 00:36:01.030 do when they tie it up? Do what you saw in those 00:36:01.030 --> 00:36:02.909 pictures. Just be playing around. How do we unlock 00:36:02.909 --> 00:36:05.309 this conversation? This is wild. You could have 00:36:05.309 --> 00:36:07.489 said no. You know what? Nah, man. That didn't 00:36:07.489 --> 00:36:16.510 happen. I don't know why but Rockle is just a 00:36:16.510 --> 00:36:23.630 term people foot tickling So that's your favorite 00:36:23.630 --> 00:36:30.480 it's a term for foot tickling what yeah Joking 00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:32.719 around would they ever would they ever would 00:36:32.719 --> 00:36:34.500 they ever you know, I'm just kidding. I love 00:36:34.500 --> 00:36:36.300 it Yeah, I'm just saying we're just going to 00:36:36.300 --> 00:36:39.119 bit. So what happened with pleasure? Are the 00:36:39.119 --> 00:36:41.139 person these videos with the feet? Oh, yes, they 00:36:41.139 --> 00:36:43.820 would man. They do they and with the feet Oh, 00:36:43.860 --> 00:36:45.659 yeah, they got the feet and then they'll gradually 00:36:45.659 --> 00:36:49.239 go up slowly go up So you know that part the 00:36:49.239 --> 00:36:51.260 good part. Oh, so they do they actually do. Oh, 00:36:51.260 --> 00:37:06.480 yeah, actually, yeah, man. It's not heel Are 00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:09.380 y 'all in the future? Like feet? Sex? I know 00:37:09.380 --> 00:37:14.940 you are. I don't even understand it. I don't 00:37:14.940 --> 00:37:17.840 really know what they're into. Exactly. I understand 00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:21.480 it's a dirty part for a woman. It's gross. But 00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:25.159 she has it clean. So it's feminine. That's what 00:37:25.159 --> 00:37:28.800 people tell me. That's what I heard. That's what 00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:32.599 I googled. I hate feet, bro. I hate feet. Yeah, 00:37:32.599 --> 00:37:34.019 they're gross. He really does. He hates them. 00:37:35.659 --> 00:37:42.929 I can't stand it. Damn I didn't know Yeah, I 00:37:42.929 --> 00:37:51.429 get it You passed it there we had to die you 00:37:51.429 --> 00:38:04.869 said it smelled really good though We already 00:38:04.869 --> 00:38:07.610 spelt it last time. It wasn't bad. Shit, it's 00:38:07.610 --> 00:38:09.730 bad. Is it bad right now? Oh man, it's the worst. 00:38:10.829 --> 00:38:13.429 Just because you're stressed. Yeah, that works 00:38:13.429 --> 00:38:18.869 now. The pheromones. I get stress stinks. That's 00:38:18.869 --> 00:38:23.309 real. Oh, that's real. I keep uncovering all 00:38:23.309 --> 00:38:27.090 you guys' problems. I'm going to stress everybody 00:38:27.090 --> 00:38:32.250 out. You eeks, bro. Yeah. Hell yeah. It has to 00:38:32.250 --> 00:38:35.190 be that. You like dirty feet? Nah man, let's 00:38:35.190 --> 00:38:40.469 let it be clean. Clean. You don't want a little 00:38:40.469 --> 00:38:42.909 bit of tint to it? Nah man, nah. Like a little 00:38:42.909 --> 00:38:45.010 bit of film around it? That's disgusting. Ooh, 00:38:45.130 --> 00:38:46.989 wait, like what, like a jungle scene or some 00:38:46.989 --> 00:38:52.889 shit? Huh? Like a Tarzan scene, you pull up, 00:38:53.929 --> 00:39:01.500 you strap to a vine? Yeah, strap to a vine. Yeah, 00:39:01.500 --> 00:39:03.760 I said that. Yeah, something. Yeah, something 00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:06.039 like that. Yeah, I guess. Shaped to a vine. I'm 00:39:06.039 --> 00:39:08.360 just saying a little dirt on there. Yeah. Make 00:39:08.360 --> 00:39:09.900 sure you know she didn't prepare them. You're 00:39:09.900 --> 00:39:12.360 just going to get after them. Oh, no, man. What 00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:14.039 was she walking on? She could have walked on 00:39:14.039 --> 00:39:16.099 the floor. She's walking on you guys' floor in 00:39:16.099 --> 00:39:17.760 your kitchen. She walks to the kitchen. She comes 00:39:17.760 --> 00:39:19.820 out. She lays her feet on the couch. Look at 00:39:19.820 --> 00:39:21.619 these. Well, we'd have a dog that runs around. 00:39:21.699 --> 00:39:24.250 What if the dog shits on the floor? I would hope 00:39:24.250 --> 00:39:29.489 she would Clean yeah, let's clean. It's like 00:39:29.489 --> 00:39:33.210 there's so many things on that floor So how do 00:39:33.210 --> 00:39:35.449 you get there? How do you pair the feet? Yeah? 00:39:35.630 --> 00:39:39.909 Take a bath Yeah, a whole bath easy one. That's 00:39:39.909 --> 00:39:42.409 easy question. Oh, no. No, just take a shower 00:39:42.409 --> 00:39:44.170 Just take a shit get cuz you don't want you don't 00:39:44.170 --> 00:39:47.929 want to wait. No because they get softer In the 00:39:47.929 --> 00:39:50.170 bath, they will be softer. Do you pee in the 00:39:50.170 --> 00:39:52.630 shower? Hell nah man, I can't do that. What? 00:39:53.130 --> 00:39:54.650 You like feet but you don't pee in the shower? 00:39:54.849 --> 00:39:57.090 Nah man, because I'm like, I don't know man. 00:39:57.550 --> 00:40:00.289 It goes down the drain. I know but, nah. Peeing 00:40:00.289 --> 00:40:01.969 in the shower is the way to go. So that's good. 00:40:02.569 --> 00:40:05.389 Yeah. Sometimes I stand outside the shower and 00:40:05.389 --> 00:40:07.289 piss in the air because, you know, why not? That's 00:40:07.289 --> 00:40:09.710 crazy. I do that to the sink. Don't look at me 00:40:09.710 --> 00:40:11.710 like that's normal. I'm saying, like, right before 00:40:11.710 --> 00:40:13.030 you're about to get in, you can't hold it till 00:40:13.030 --> 00:40:17.150 you get all the way in, you know? I do it after. 00:40:17.889 --> 00:40:21.070 I just let it sit there. I pee in the sink. You 00:40:21.070 --> 00:40:24.550 pee in the sink? I can't pee in the sink. I do 00:40:24.550 --> 00:40:27.849 that. That's horrible. I don't do it now because 00:40:27.849 --> 00:40:30.329 I share a bathroom. Do you brush your teeth in 00:40:30.329 --> 00:40:33.760 that sink? Yeah, you can't see I'm with you Brandon. 00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:36.400 Oh, that's crazy. These two. No, don't bring 00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:38.119 me into this. I don't do any of this crazy shit 00:40:38.119 --> 00:40:40.840 you all said. Damn, man. Bro, have you ever wanted 00:40:40.840 --> 00:40:43.480 a urinal in your house? Guess what? No. One in 00:40:43.480 --> 00:40:45.380 every bathroom. Guess what? Check your kitchen. 00:40:46.079 --> 00:40:48.820 Yeah. Luckily for you, I don't use urinals, man. 00:40:49.619 --> 00:40:52.139 What we almost got we almost got you where we 00:40:52.139 --> 00:40:54.920 at in Gunnersville? Yeah, we had a fork in the 00:40:54.920 --> 00:40:57.079 road It was two of us and there was a urinal 00:40:57.079 --> 00:41:00.500 a urinal and then a star and then a stall and 00:41:00.500 --> 00:41:02.659 I was like Brandon This is your chance. Which 00:41:02.659 --> 00:41:05.760 one do you want? Went to the stall. He thought 00:41:05.760 --> 00:41:08.340 about but he did think about for a second and 00:41:08.340 --> 00:41:10.639 then he went to the stall Yeah, but you know 00:41:10.639 --> 00:41:12.099 that could have been your chance to go cuz there's 00:41:12.099 --> 00:41:13.960 nobody else in the bathroom It's just two people 00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:16.920 could be in there. You could have did it Don't 00:41:16.920 --> 00:41:18.519 have a change of pants. Mm -hmm. I don't have 00:41:18.519 --> 00:41:20.900 a change of pants. Oh shit goes on it's not going 00:41:20.900 --> 00:41:24.980 to though I mean, that's a that's a I mean nothing's 00:41:24.980 --> 00:41:27.900 gonna happen. You just start pissing in the urine 00:41:27.900 --> 00:41:31.699 But even if it goes sideways Brandon, you're 00:41:31.699 --> 00:41:33.199 still in the urine just put yourself all the 00:41:33.199 --> 00:41:36.079 way in the urinal Poke your pelvis towards it. 00:41:36.619 --> 00:41:38.980 I Don't want to actually hit the light. Yeah, 00:41:39.059 --> 00:41:42.260 what's that? I want to hit the wall of it. You 00:41:42.260 --> 00:41:46.300 can you can still see Yeah, we got to figure 00:41:46.300 --> 00:41:48.519 this out. It's just yeah, we're gonna do it one 00:41:48.519 --> 00:41:50.360 day though, right? Yeah, well, we're gonna do 00:41:50.360 --> 00:41:53.679 this together. What's going on? I'll be there 00:41:53.679 --> 00:41:56.980 for your support. We should record it. Oh Do 00:41:56.980 --> 00:41:58.840 can we record the first time you take a piss 00:41:58.840 --> 00:42:01.320 in here? Yeah, as long as there's no like junk 00:42:01.320 --> 00:42:04.119 action. Have you ever? No, we'll be behind. Oh 00:42:04.119 --> 00:42:06.300 behind me You said what have you ever peed in 00:42:06.300 --> 00:42:08.199 here? Oh, I mean, yeah a couple times without 00:42:08.199 --> 00:42:11.000 having your pants touching. Oh, yeah Didn't like 00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:14.250 it. How long ago was the last time? Maybe a year 00:42:14.250 --> 00:42:17.110 or two ago. Oh, so you did it recently? Yeah, 00:42:17.369 --> 00:42:19.289 once. I was like, let me just see how this is. 00:42:19.469 --> 00:42:21.630 Uh -huh. And how'd it go? It was all right, but 00:42:21.630 --> 00:42:23.389 I was like, man, this shit. Just go in style. 00:42:23.590 --> 00:42:26.110 I don't care. So you sitting down, or you just 00:42:26.110 --> 00:42:27.349 standing up? Oh, I was standing. We were standing. 00:42:27.349 --> 00:42:29.010 He just takes his pants all the way in. You ever 00:42:29.010 --> 00:42:32.829 pee outside? Outside. I see. Nah, it's been years. 00:42:33.050 --> 00:42:36.590 Who else does that? 2009. Who else does that? 00:42:37.889 --> 00:42:39.610 Who else takes their pants and underwear all 00:42:39.610 --> 00:42:41.210 the way to the ground to piss? Oh, children. 00:42:41.929 --> 00:42:51.980 Children, yeah. You guys to go to the urinal 00:42:51.980 --> 00:42:54.280 and pull your pants to your I would never do 00:42:54.280 --> 00:42:56.539 that I would do it I do it if you guys set up 00:42:56.539 --> 00:43:00.059 a camera. I'll do it and I'll stay there Yeah, 00:43:01.139 --> 00:43:05.599 we'll be fraud or for but maybe What if you what 00:43:05.599 --> 00:43:09.039 if we just shoot from the deck up? So like so 00:43:09.039 --> 00:43:11.769 like in the back. Yeah But I mean, it's still 00:43:11.769 --> 00:43:13.670 evasion of privacy. It's for the other people. 00:43:13.750 --> 00:43:15.269 Yeah, for the other people. But like, just what 00:43:15.269 --> 00:43:16.429 they would do. But that's part of it. You just 00:43:16.429 --> 00:43:18.030 have to do it for the love of the game. Yeah. 00:43:18.030 --> 00:43:21.309 Because it is funny. Yeah. Or we legit script 00:43:21.309 --> 00:43:24.750 it and act. Yeah. But I want people to really 00:43:24.750 --> 00:43:27.309 see me in my pants all the way down. And just 00:43:27.309 --> 00:43:29.369 to see their face when they stand. Oh, now this 00:43:29.369 --> 00:43:31.809 is turning into like voyeurism. Yeah. And dude, 00:43:31.809 --> 00:43:34.150 I can't wait to just stare at them in their face 00:43:34.150 --> 00:43:35.590 while they're, you know, they're next to me. 00:43:35.590 --> 00:43:37.449 Why are you facing them? Oh, OK. They're next 00:43:37.449 --> 00:43:41.329 to me. I just look at them like this. I'm just 00:43:41.329 --> 00:43:43.949 having my hands people would be people be frightened 00:43:43.949 --> 00:43:46.289 in the worst way They would be like what the 00:43:46.289 --> 00:43:51.849 fuck if I walked into a restroom I'd be like, 00:43:51.849 --> 00:44:00.190 oh, that's a guy standing outside. Okay, I'd 00:44:00.190 --> 00:44:03.460 leave the restaurant or the bathroom Probably 00:44:03.460 --> 00:44:05.599 both. What the fuck? Man, how did you leave it? 00:44:05.659 --> 00:44:07.059 You're the one who does it. No, I do it in the 00:44:07.059 --> 00:44:08.400 stall, not in the urinal. You said there can't 00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:09.719 be two of us. When you get in the batters. How 00:44:09.719 --> 00:44:11.460 far do you pull your pants down when you get 00:44:11.460 --> 00:44:13.760 in the stall? We get down probably knees or something. 00:44:14.019 --> 00:44:16.139 Did Brandon stop it? Something like that. To 00:44:16.139 --> 00:44:18.059 the knees? What's the point just to the knees? 00:44:18.219 --> 00:44:23.019 Below the knee? You know we have seen this happen. 00:44:23.099 --> 00:44:25.900 Y 'all have seen it. We told you about how we've 00:44:25.900 --> 00:44:28.000 seen it. So you looked at my pants at the bottom. 00:44:28.199 --> 00:44:30.159 Where were they at, Brandon? They were, I mean, 00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:31.559 sometimes it'd be the knees, sometimes it'd go 00:44:31.559 --> 00:44:33.639 in the ankle, but I'm like, because dude, I'm 00:44:33.639 --> 00:44:35.900 in the stall. Nobody can see. I mean, you have 00:44:35.900 --> 00:44:37.699 to be better. But no, but we're saying nobody 00:44:37.699 --> 00:44:40.699 can see, but when you're at the stall, 60%, 70 00:44:40.699 --> 00:44:42.099 % of the time, where are they at your ankles? 00:44:42.559 --> 00:44:47.349 I guess probably 70%. 70, 80? Seventy -five. 00:44:47.969 --> 00:44:50.590 Seventy -five. Seventy -five percent. Sold. It 00:44:50.590 --> 00:44:52.849 depends on the day, man. I'm telling you, I got 00:44:52.849 --> 00:44:54.409 trauma as a kid. I remember they used to have 00:44:54.409 --> 00:44:56.190 people that run in there while you were on the 00:44:56.190 --> 00:44:57.710 urine on them. Well, they never did this to me, 00:44:57.710 --> 00:44:59.329 but I would watch it happen to other people. 00:44:59.469 --> 00:45:01.150 And I'd be like, that's crazy. They'd just run 00:45:01.150 --> 00:45:03.070 up and push them, and then they'd just pee all 00:45:03.070 --> 00:45:05.110 over themselves. Yeah. And they thought it was 00:45:05.110 --> 00:45:07.429 all a joke. And that's what started this whole... 00:45:07.429 --> 00:45:08.630 Yeah, because I was watching that, I'm like, 00:45:08.670 --> 00:45:10.769 damn, that's crazy as hell, man. Never happened 00:45:10.769 --> 00:45:12.030 to you, though. Never happened to me, because 00:45:12.030 --> 00:45:13.570 I was like, fuck it, I was just going to stall, 00:45:13.730 --> 00:45:17.050 man. No need to even battle over that. No need 00:45:17.050 --> 00:45:19.769 to make that a problem. Mm -hmm. See, we didn't 00:45:19.769 --> 00:45:22.050 have stalled doors in the bathroom. Oh, man. 00:45:22.170 --> 00:45:24.849 What? So when you had to take a shit, it was 00:45:24.849 --> 00:45:27.010 just out there? Damn. No way. What the fuck? 00:45:28.210 --> 00:45:31.389 Yeah. Damn. What? Yeah, bro. That's gotta get 00:45:31.389 --> 00:45:33.250 some kind of cold, dude. What the fuck? I mean, 00:45:33.469 --> 00:45:37.079 I remember, like, yeah. Especially what happened 00:45:37.079 --> 00:45:39.320 dude? No, you guys are never about to say I mean 00:45:39.320 --> 00:45:41.559 you would just walk in and you just like walk 00:45:41.559 --> 00:45:43.840 by and you'd see somebody sitting on the toilet 00:45:43.840 --> 00:45:47.360 shitting That's fucked up. We have looking back 00:45:47.360 --> 00:45:50.920 on it. Yes weird. Yes, sir Question board this 00:45:50.920 --> 00:45:53.980 but yeah, that's how it was cuz that was one 00:45:53.980 --> 00:45:56.840 like the whole vaping epidemic really And they 00:45:56.840 --> 00:45:58.599 said we're taking the fuck Fuckin do show us 00:45:58.599 --> 00:46:02.719 your digs. They chose your cocks then their next 00:46:02.719 --> 00:46:05.300 step was to just close the bathroom entirely 00:46:05.550 --> 00:46:08.449 So there was like one bathroom for the whole 00:46:08.449 --> 00:46:10.469 school to use and there'd be a big -ass line 00:46:10.469 --> 00:46:15.449 outside Well like one girls one boys obviously 00:46:15.449 --> 00:46:19.050 but like big -ass lines on either side Cuz that 00:46:19.050 --> 00:46:21.530 when they start coming out with those Trump had 00:46:21.530 --> 00:46:23.929 just banned the jewel pods the flavored jewel 00:46:23.929 --> 00:46:26.570 That was a big thing in high school. That was 00:46:26.570 --> 00:46:28.809 like when people started caring about politics 00:46:33.019 --> 00:46:35.519 They came out with the disposable vapes like 00:46:35.519 --> 00:46:38.099 so the pop was the first one I remember everybody 00:46:38.099 --> 00:46:40.699 had one dude and it was only like 400 hits or 00:46:40.699 --> 00:46:43.099 something like that And they just go in there 00:46:43.099 --> 00:46:45.980 and vape and then we got stall door privileges 00:46:45.980 --> 00:46:49.460 taken away And then it was bathroom privileges 00:46:49.460 --> 00:46:51.420 taken away except that one then somebody smoked 00:46:51.420 --> 00:46:54.239 weed in there and that was a whole thing ballsy 00:46:54.239 --> 00:46:59.519 We had a bathroom door ripped open but it was 00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:01.139 for like a couple months because we had a dude 00:47:01.139 --> 00:47:03.460 that was kind of off And he was like jacking 00:47:03.460 --> 00:47:05.000 off in there, and he actually ripped the door 00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:07.719 somehow. And then he did like a whole paragraph 00:47:07.719 --> 00:47:10.980 of apology on Edmoto. You remember Edmoto? Edmoto? 00:47:11.079 --> 00:47:13.320 Yeah, man. That's insane. He did it for the whole 00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:15.300 class. That's like a school social media. Oh, 00:47:15.300 --> 00:47:17.500 OK. Like, you can message your classmates on 00:47:17.500 --> 00:47:19.420 there. He's like, sorry I was jerking off in 00:47:19.420 --> 00:47:21.019 the bathroom. Yeah, he felt so bad. He was like, 00:47:21.019 --> 00:47:23.179 I'm so embarrassed and so hurt to say what happened 00:47:23.179 --> 00:47:25.400 in that bathroom. And he told us everything. 00:47:25.659 --> 00:47:28.699 He was going at it hard. He really was. He was 00:47:28.699 --> 00:47:32.530 creepy, man. Got me to break off a door. Just 00:47:32.530 --> 00:47:34.889 being at school, you automatically have an Edmodo 00:47:34.889 --> 00:47:38.829 account. Like how UAH had Canvas. But it's more 00:47:38.829 --> 00:47:40.969 of like a social media type thing. Like group 00:47:40.969 --> 00:47:44.110 me? Yeah. That's so lame. But it's like Facebook 00:47:44.110 --> 00:47:46.150 for school. He's like, I'm sorry, I'm just jerking 00:47:46.150 --> 00:47:47.889 off. Yeah. He had a problem. He did it in the 00:47:47.889 --> 00:47:49.690 classroom, too. They caught him watching in the 00:47:49.690 --> 00:47:53.309 back of the classroom. OG Gooner, bro. He's going 00:47:53.309 --> 00:47:55.630 to be a problem. He's going to be a big problem. 00:47:55.670 --> 00:47:57.510 Dude, he was a problem. I'm like, let's change 00:47:57.510 --> 00:48:12.900 the subject. There was a kid who got boners No, 00:48:12.900 --> 00:48:16.739 he didn't use that he was too past autism scales. 00:48:16.739 --> 00:48:18.380 Oh, okay. Take a you didn't have the awareness 00:48:18.380 --> 00:48:23.400 of that Was it a nice one was a rock? Was it 00:48:23.400 --> 00:48:27.079 out there was yeah, oh I heard you how many could 00:48:27.079 --> 00:48:30.659 you do it was it was dick. Yeah Okay, it was 00:48:30.659 --> 00:48:35.000 big as hell, dude. I grabbed it. No, look I have 00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:38.679 a theory about this that they have They have 00:48:38.679 --> 00:48:40.880 massive rods. Oh, I see what you're saying. You 00:48:40.880 --> 00:48:43.099 see what I'm saying? And I don't mean anything 00:48:43.099 --> 00:48:47.079 wrong with that. But you know what I'm saying, 00:48:47.159 --> 00:48:49.039 but you know what I'm saying? You said you got 00:48:49.039 --> 00:48:53.210 a piece on you. It's his choice to pull his pants 00:48:53.210 --> 00:48:56.409 down. Like watching Star Wars, man. That's a 00:48:56.409 --> 00:48:59.429 masterpiece. He's like, oops, nobody look. Okay, 00:48:59.429 --> 00:49:01.710 I can see that. Because I pull mine up when I 00:49:01.710 --> 00:49:04.030 pee, so that makes sense. I'm like, uh -uh. I 00:49:04.030 --> 00:49:05.889 think when I got pants, they kept saying, hey, 00:49:05.929 --> 00:49:09.650 man, we kept watching the tape. I don't know 00:49:09.650 --> 00:49:11.730 what's up. Oh, man, I never told you about that. 00:49:11.869 --> 00:49:14.429 This dude thought it was a good idea to pants 00:49:14.429 --> 00:49:16.469 me in the class in eighth grade, and then he 00:49:16.469 --> 00:49:19.170 accidentally pulled down both of my pants. But 00:49:19.170 --> 00:49:22.260 I thought that nobody saw me. No, dude, I thought 00:49:22.260 --> 00:49:24.800 nobody saw me so I pulled up real fast and nobody 00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:27.340 said nothing for like two days and then like 00:49:27.340 --> 00:49:28.760 the principal called me to the office and like 00:49:28.760 --> 00:49:32.440 yo, man, we saw On camera was the couple back 00:49:32.440 --> 00:49:35.079 a couple times. You got pants. Are you okay? 00:49:35.159 --> 00:49:36.800 And then they were like this girl in the back 00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:39.250 saw she was a witness And uh, we were just making 00:49:39.250 --> 00:49:42.250 sure you're good like that's a skip from a movie 00:49:42.250 --> 00:49:47.590 Like we saw we watched it seven times We finally 00:49:47.590 --> 00:49:54.230 felt bad. We saw the first day He robbed me uh, 00:49:54.230 --> 00:49:56.090 he tried to rob him with a magic card because 00:49:56.090 --> 00:49:58.289 he was like I got jason myron card And I was 00:49:58.289 --> 00:49:59.849 like, you got jason myron card. He like yeah 00:49:59.849 --> 00:50:01.869 I'll sell it to you for 80 bucks and I was like 00:50:01.869 --> 00:50:04.030 you got it and I never gave him the money But 00:50:04.030 --> 00:50:05.309 I was like where's it at every day? He'd be like 00:50:05.309 --> 00:50:06.969 I'm gonna have it next week. This dude never 00:50:06.969 --> 00:50:10.260 had jason myron What was it minecrafter of mine? 00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:14.719 Yeah, you remember Jace the mine sculptor or 00:50:14.719 --> 00:50:18.039 like the main card Hold on. It was the best card. 00:50:18.179 --> 00:50:20.980 Yeah, go and pull it up. Hey the mine sculptor 00:50:20.980 --> 00:50:24.320 White Lotus Jayden. I'm not no Jason. Yes, Jason 00:50:24.320 --> 00:50:27.599 mine sculptor right there. This one minecraft 00:50:27.599 --> 00:50:30.599 for $18. Oh, yeah now you can but back then it 00:50:30.599 --> 00:50:32.579 was like, oh, yeah back to divorce Yeah, because 00:50:32.579 --> 00:50:35.119 it was like you had the hologram one like that 00:50:35.659 --> 00:50:37.840 I don't know shit about magic anymore, but we 00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:39.579 used to hide under the bleachers and play there 00:50:39.579 --> 00:50:43.579 for like, dang. Who's like the mother? Is it 00:50:43.579 --> 00:50:47.460 okay car? It's not fucking face. Dude, you know 00:50:47.460 --> 00:50:49.440 that was most of my problems though because like 00:50:49.440 --> 00:50:50.739 it would always be like an action figure like 00:50:50.739 --> 00:50:53.159 my friend that y 'all all know when we were kids 00:50:53.159 --> 00:50:55.500 like we used to always fight back in the day 00:50:55.500 --> 00:50:56.840 like I remember eating full rocks with me and 00:50:56.840 --> 00:50:58.840 like the playground I started like fighting back 00:50:58.840 --> 00:51:02.400 up one day like One day I'll show you a picture 00:51:02.400 --> 00:51:04.260 one day this girl one of the men said she had 00:51:04.260 --> 00:51:08.079 this action figure right here. Hold on 2010 It 00:51:08.079 --> 00:51:11.239 was a lot of action figure trading to his son. 00:51:12.300 --> 00:51:13.800 So you see that Jake the Snake Robbers right 00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:16.420 there? So she said she had it. And I was like, 00:51:16.460 --> 00:51:18.420 I could get it. And she was like, yeah. And then 00:51:18.420 --> 00:51:20.019 he was like, nah, man, I want it. Forget him. 00:51:20.360 --> 00:51:21.780 And I was like, oh, so you're going to try to 00:51:21.780 --> 00:51:23.400 take my toy? Because it was so hard at the time. 00:51:23.400 --> 00:51:25.519 I didn't have a debit card or nothing. So I couldn't 00:51:25.519 --> 00:51:27.519 get my Russell and Legends, right? So then he 00:51:27.519 --> 00:51:28.840 was like, I want it. And she was like, oh, I'm 00:51:28.840 --> 00:51:30.059 going to give it to you. And I was like, fuck 00:51:30.059 --> 00:51:32.639 that. So then I waited until PE started. And 00:51:32.639 --> 00:51:34.139 I got the jump ropes. And I beat him with the 00:51:34.139 --> 00:51:36.980 jump ropes. And then like everybody chained me 00:51:36.980 --> 00:51:40.039 in the corner like that's horrible Brandon And 00:51:40.039 --> 00:51:42.300 then everybody's like you suck, you suck even 00:51:42.300 --> 00:51:46.019 the teacher said that and I'm like damn The teacher 00:51:46.019 --> 00:51:48.099 said you suck Yeah, she's like what's wrong with 00:51:48.099 --> 00:51:50.739 you? He said you suck? I think so everybody was 00:51:50.739 --> 00:51:53.440 yelling it. I don't know because she just jumped 00:51:53.440 --> 00:51:54.840 she went in the middle I'm like what's wrong 00:51:54.840 --> 00:51:56.360 with you everybody was saying that and I was 00:51:56.360 --> 00:52:01.539 like damn Did you feel bad? I did but I was also 00:52:01.539 --> 00:52:03.320 mad I didn't get my action figure bro. She was 00:52:03.320 --> 00:52:06.639 lying to me He just wanted us to fight. Oh, yeah. 00:52:07.420 --> 00:52:09.780 Yeah, and then he beat somebody for jump rope 00:52:09.780 --> 00:52:13.800 two weeks later, so He wasn't innocent. No, he 00:52:13.800 --> 00:52:15.920 wasn't innocent dog. Hell no, he was not. That 00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:19.260 dude was wild, man. He was a little racist, too. 00:52:20.099 --> 00:52:22.519 Not anymore. He should have stood up top. Yeah. 00:52:23.079 --> 00:52:23.980 He should have told us that part of the story. 00:52:24.039 --> 00:52:26.039 By that time, he was like, man, that's horrible. 00:52:27.019 --> 00:52:28.360 Yeah, that is pretty bad. He was like, that's 00:52:28.360 --> 00:52:31.039 horrible. Apologize every day and people got 00:52:31.039 --> 00:52:32.800 everybody cornered you into a corner and yeah. 00:52:32.800 --> 00:52:34.780 Oh, yeah, dude I remember it was like like I 00:52:34.780 --> 00:52:36.780 went near the stairs. So, you know, the bleachers 00:52:36.780 --> 00:52:40.480 are at yeah, I went like That's some bleachers 00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:42.039 and there was like some curtains. I just sitting 00:52:42.039 --> 00:52:52.869 back. I'm sorry, man Damn, that sucks. Yeah That's 00:52:52.869 --> 00:52:54.909 where I thought the story was going. And then 00:52:54.909 --> 00:52:56.869 I murdered them all. Like the equalizer, I just 00:52:56.869 --> 00:52:59.909 turn on my timer and just get them all. Like 00:52:59.909 --> 00:53:02.590 a fucking Fortnite watch. Oh man, dude. Nah, 00:53:02.809 --> 00:53:05.369 that wasn't out yet. It was 2012 or 2011. Back 00:53:05.369 --> 00:53:07.210 of the day. That was when like Fred and Justin 00:53:07.210 --> 00:53:10.699 Bieber were crazy. Oh yeah. Fred Remember Fred? 00:53:11.300 --> 00:53:14.019 Hold on, hold on, let me go back Oh yeah, yeah, 00:53:14.019 --> 00:53:15.860 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:15.860 --> 00:53:17.059 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:17.059 --> 00:53:18.179 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:18.179 --> 00:53:18.179 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:18.699 --> 00:53:18.719 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:18.900 --> 00:53:19.639 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:19.699 --> 00:53:22.059 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:22.059 --> 00:53:22.619 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:23.519 --> 00:53:23.639 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:23.739 --> 00:53:26.800 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:26.800 --> 00:53:26.960 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:27.380 --> 00:53:27.840 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:38.699 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You 00:53:38.699 --> 00:53:43.239 know who he married who the Fred dude who Aubrey 00:53:43.239 --> 00:53:46.400 Plaza, no, oh that's when it killed itself. No, 00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:49.500 I don't know. I just made that up. I don't know 00:53:49.500 --> 00:54:03.519 why Yeah, she did And that's important. Thank 00:54:03.519 --> 00:54:08.420 you for saying that. That's important. This changes 00:54:08.420 --> 00:54:11.179 things. No, no, no. You guys should have known 00:54:11.179 --> 00:54:16.199 better. This is who we're going with right now. 00:54:16.239 --> 00:54:25.989 Matthew Focus. Focus. Yep. There you go. He's 00:54:25.989 --> 00:54:27.690 still cool, right? Oh, yeah, he's cool as hell 00:54:27.690 --> 00:54:30.110 watch Fred. I watch this at night, man. Okay, 00:54:30.110 --> 00:54:33.710 what? I mean watch Fred on I Watched it while 00:54:33.710 --> 00:54:35.570 dude. I watched it when they aired man. I'm oh 00:54:35.570 --> 00:54:40.230 gee. I watched it in 2010 Man watching my friends 00:54:40.230 --> 00:54:45.940 from We were like six years old. He's still clicking 00:54:45.940 --> 00:54:48.179 on this friend guy. That's a good movie. You 00:54:48.179 --> 00:54:50.320 remember the videos where the dude got really 00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:52.139 mad and he tried to put a controller up his butt? 00:54:53.440 --> 00:54:55.840 They canceled his World of Warcraft. Yeah, that's 00:54:55.840 --> 00:54:58.579 what it was, yeah. And he got so mad he had to 00:54:58.579 --> 00:55:00.840 take it out on himself. Damn, was he successful? 00:55:01.500 --> 00:55:03.159 A little bit. Yeah, he got the top going up. 00:55:03.179 --> 00:55:05.420 You can see it going in. Yeah, that's where. 00:55:05.420 --> 00:55:07.099 Yeah, he went to the top. He got it in a little 00:55:07.099 --> 00:55:08.719 bit. How'd he get it out? Through the underwear, 00:55:08.880 --> 00:55:10.800 though. Just a little bit. It was on YouTube. 00:55:11.940 --> 00:55:14.989 And he didn't go full. It's still up there? No. 00:55:15.070 --> 00:55:17.369 Yeah, you can jerk off. Nah, I'm good. I'm good. 00:55:17.889 --> 00:55:22.769 He farts and it changes the channel. What year 00:55:22.769 --> 00:55:27.650 was this? 2007. Oh, so it's like PlayStation 00:55:27.650 --> 00:55:33.070 2? About 3? Is that how you measure time? Oh, 00:55:33.190 --> 00:55:35.130 it's one Nintendo DS away. Oh, shit, it's PC, 00:55:35.250 --> 00:55:42.260 right? TV remote. Yeah, like the satellite remote 00:55:42.260 --> 00:55:48.380 you get you like you have a big one that happens 00:55:48.380 --> 00:55:54.199 more than it should in this world. Yeah There's 00:55:54.199 --> 00:55:56.760 a problem but uh, oh yeah, I've heard people 00:55:56.760 --> 00:56:02.079 yeah people show stuff up there Yeah You can't 00:56:02.079 --> 00:56:03.539 take it out to you gotta take it you gotta take 00:56:03.539 --> 00:56:05.260 a bear wife and that was that's what most of 00:56:05.260 --> 00:56:08.039 y 'all calls gonna be Yeah, get on that. It wouldn't 00:56:08.039 --> 00:56:12.679 be the gay division of the ambulance. They got 00:56:12.679 --> 00:56:16.619 me on gay duty this week. All butthole -related 00:56:16.619 --> 00:56:23.059 crime. True. True. I don't think it's true. Oh, 00:56:23.059 --> 00:56:26.260 no. What? What? You don't get put on gay duty. 00:56:27.139 --> 00:56:29.260 No, no, nobody put you on that. Yeah, why'd you 00:56:29.260 --> 00:56:31.420 say that? Whoa. I saw you talking about stuff 00:56:31.420 --> 00:56:33.960 going up people's rear. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna 00:56:33.960 --> 00:56:36.099 happen. Yeah, that's gonna happen. You gotta 00:56:36.099 --> 00:56:38.340 hold their hand cuz you know you can't take it 00:56:38.340 --> 00:56:45.920 out. Mm -hmm No, you're not No, you just gotta 00:56:45.920 --> 00:56:49.400 transform with it Yeah, like you lay him on your 00:56:49.400 --> 00:56:51.920 stomach on the back. Oh man, they taught you 00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:54.289 that yet You're probably gonna have to put them 00:56:54.289 --> 00:56:55.630 on the side. You're gonna have to put them on 00:56:55.630 --> 00:56:57.710 the side. You're not supposed to put nobody prone 00:56:57.710 --> 00:56:59.710 to them. Put them on the side. Okay, he has learned 00:56:59.710 --> 00:57:01.869 some shit. There you go. Okay. Okay, man. You're 00:57:01.869 --> 00:57:03.789 ready for the job. Hell yeah. Put them on the 00:57:03.789 --> 00:57:07.050 side. That's all you probably need to know. So 00:57:07.050 --> 00:57:09.030 why'd you choose to be a firefighter? I'm sure 00:57:09.030 --> 00:57:10.829 you guys talked about this before, but... Oh 00:57:10.829 --> 00:57:11.989 yeah, it's just something I've always looked 00:57:11.989 --> 00:57:13.590 into and wanted to do and you know, there's a 00:57:13.590 --> 00:57:15.210 lot of great benefits and it's helping people. 00:57:15.250 --> 00:57:17.550 I get to help myself. I always imagined it was 00:57:17.550 --> 00:57:22.559 down between that and like, Spaceman. I'm not 00:57:22.559 --> 00:57:25.619 smart enough to go on space. Well, that's pretty 00:57:25.619 --> 00:57:28.539 far away. I bet it could be fire -fighting. In 00:57:28.539 --> 00:57:33.239 town, I'll do fire -fighting. Yeah, I remember 00:57:33.239 --> 00:57:34.880 looking at others and I was like, eh, military 00:57:34.880 --> 00:57:36.300 or that. But I was like, this is good because 00:57:36.300 --> 00:57:38.599 I don't have to leave my family and stuff. There 00:57:38.599 --> 00:57:41.739 you go. Stay on ground. It's perfect. You could 00:57:41.739 --> 00:57:45.619 have went Space Force. Ooh. Did you take the 00:57:45.619 --> 00:57:48.579 ASVAP? Huh? Have you took an ASVAP? No, not yet. 00:57:48.840 --> 00:57:53.179 Not yet. I don't want to go to space, bro. That's 00:57:53.179 --> 00:57:55.699 just to go to the military. Oh, no, dude, I have 00:57:55.699 --> 00:57:56.880 not taken it. No, because I tell you, I'm working 00:57:56.880 --> 00:57:59.719 on a fire friend. No, I'm just saying, it's just 00:57:59.719 --> 00:58:01.159 the worst things you could take. Oh, just to 00:58:01.159 --> 00:58:02.960 see how... Just a little quiz. Yeah, they'll 00:58:02.960 --> 00:58:05.699 tell you all the jobs you can get. And you can 00:58:05.699 --> 00:58:07.380 take it any time and just tell us what you got. 00:58:07.800 --> 00:58:09.480 I'll tell you, I can bring mine out. I got my 00:58:09.480 --> 00:58:11.440 paperwork, whatever. Sure, I mean, so just do 00:58:11.440 --> 00:58:14.159 it to do it? Mm -hmm. Okay. It's just their case. 00:58:14.420 --> 00:58:16.320 Fuck it. Mm -hmm. They're gonna convince you, 00:58:16.360 --> 00:58:18.099 though. You let somebody else go with you. Dude, 00:58:18.239 --> 00:58:20.900 I had a dude stalk me. Yeah, easy. I had a dude 00:58:20.900 --> 00:58:23.179 stalk me. He kept coming to my house. He would, 00:58:23.179 --> 00:58:25.099 like, call me everywhere I was at. I know I was 00:58:25.099 --> 00:58:26.820 at the hospital. He'd be like, I remember one 00:58:26.820 --> 00:58:28.960 time I was like, no, he's like, why? I was like, 00:58:29.219 --> 00:58:31.659 just, yeah. Know if we're like joining the military? 00:58:31.860 --> 00:58:33.980 Yeah, like, just kidding. He's like, well, I'm 00:58:33.980 --> 00:58:35.679 like, no. And then when he found out, he found 00:58:35.679 --> 00:58:37.659 out I like, like, doing, like, comedy and stuff. 00:58:37.940 --> 00:58:39.420 And he was like, oh, wait, wait, hold on, man. 00:58:39.539 --> 00:58:41.579 If you come, we could take you to Hawaii and 00:58:41.579 --> 00:58:43.559 you could be an extra. You'd get a nice car. 00:58:43.679 --> 00:58:46.360 And I was like, I'm good. Extra what? On something 00:58:46.360 --> 00:58:47.880 commercial or something. Damn, dude. Have you 00:58:47.880 --> 00:58:49.159 ever played NCAA football? He literally told 00:58:49.159 --> 00:58:50.940 me, like, a commercial or something like that. 00:58:50.940 --> 00:58:52.380 He's like, you could be an extra. You ever play 00:58:52.380 --> 00:58:54.420 NCAA football in the game? Yes, I have. Yeah, 00:58:54.420 --> 00:58:56.340 dude. He saw you. He's going to send the house. 00:58:56.800 --> 00:58:58.500 You know what's crazy? You get all his recruitments. 00:58:58.500 --> 00:59:01.119 You know what's crazy, though? I never met him 00:59:01.119 --> 00:59:03.820 and he said, I knew you. He said, you know how? 00:59:03.920 --> 00:59:05.179 And I was like, no, he said, because I used to 00:59:05.179 --> 00:59:06.840 watch you like in the lunch room, like while 00:59:06.840 --> 00:59:08.039 you were in the middle, while everybody else 00:59:08.039 --> 00:59:09.579 was on the monkey bars and stuff, he would just 00:59:09.579 --> 00:59:11.059 see me in the middle of the lunch room, just 00:59:11.059 --> 00:59:13.039 chilling. We would see, I'd see you at that one 00:59:13.039 --> 00:59:14.949 table. Yeah. Thanks to all those other guys. 00:59:15.110 --> 00:59:16.710 Because he was like, yeah, I'll just be watching 00:59:16.710 --> 00:59:18.650 you over there chilling. I was like, OK. And 00:59:18.650 --> 00:59:20.170 he wants you to join the military, right? Yes. 00:59:20.269 --> 00:59:22.530 He confirmed he's in the military as well? Yes. 00:59:22.530 --> 00:59:25.510 OK. I'm looking out for him. So he went to school 00:59:25.510 --> 00:59:27.610 with you? No, he didn't. What he would do is 00:59:27.610 --> 00:59:29.150 he was a recruit that would come to the school. 00:59:29.170 --> 00:59:31.309 Oh, and he just saw you sitting alone. And he 00:59:31.309 --> 00:59:33.110 would just be watching you in the courthouse. 00:59:34.030 --> 00:59:35.469 While everybody was doing, like, the workout 00:59:35.469 --> 00:59:37.170 and stuff for it, he would just be standing there, 00:59:37.190 --> 00:59:41.920 and he'd say, see me there. So where were you 00:59:41.920 --> 00:59:43.800 sitting that he saw you dude? I would just be 00:59:43.800 --> 00:59:46.260 sitting like a because they have like like a 00:59:46.260 --> 00:59:47.880 round chair I just be sitting there talking a 00:59:47.880 --> 00:59:49.860 couple people. Okay, so you have people you were 00:59:49.860 --> 00:59:51.800 sitting with yeah Yeah, maybe he could have saw 00:59:51.800 --> 00:59:55.059 when I like slam that dude in the mud Your potential 00:59:55.059 --> 01:00:01.260 and then that yeah, maybe because I never I don't 01:00:01.260 --> 01:00:03.780 know what happened I just put him on the mud 01:00:03.780 --> 01:00:05.960 you slam them in the mud. Yeah, cuz he just kept 01:00:09.559 --> 01:00:11.239 I forgot he was just all I'd be like messing 01:00:11.239 --> 01:00:13.619 around. He's not gonna do nothing. Then I did 01:00:13.619 --> 01:00:18.360 something for that baby, and they like why would 01:00:18.360 --> 01:00:20.820 you do that? No, like because I put in the muzzle. 01:00:20.820 --> 01:00:22.360 You had to walk around the class and mud all 01:00:22.360 --> 01:00:25.139 over him. Oh, yeah Right should have been talking 01:00:25.139 --> 01:00:27.440 shit. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's why we need to 01:00:27.440 --> 01:00:29.440 bring bullying back cuz it makes look at me Brandon 01:00:29.440 --> 01:00:35.199 say raw You have to be a fucking special forces 01:00:35.199 --> 01:00:37.320 in firemen. All that shit together. They gonna 01:00:37.320 --> 01:00:39.559 let you do firemen here and then do special forces. 01:00:40.480 --> 01:00:44.280 Very special forces. That's hilarious. He be 01:00:44.280 --> 01:00:46.679 like, he's so special, let's put him in the very 01:00:46.679 --> 01:00:54.820 front. He can play the drums. He can play the 01:00:54.820 --> 01:01:00.920 triangle. He's the conductor of death. Yeah man, 01:01:00.980 --> 01:01:05.719 I sure did. You guys had, like, the recruiters 01:01:05.719 --> 01:01:07.880 that would come to the luncheon, right? The pull 01:01:07.880 --> 01:01:09.780 -up bar? Hell, fucking hell. I don't remember 01:01:09.780 --> 01:01:11.460 the pull -up bar, but I've seen it before. You 01:01:11.460 --> 01:01:12.699 would have the pull -up bar. Dude, yeah, they 01:01:12.699 --> 01:01:14.099 would be at the pull -up bar, and everybody would 01:01:14.099 --> 01:01:15.780 be just competing on it. They would bring a pull 01:01:15.780 --> 01:01:18.500 -up bar to, like, if you got this many pull -ups, 01:01:18.559 --> 01:01:20.219 you get a t -shirt. If you get this many, you 01:01:20.219 --> 01:01:22.139 get, like, this water bottle keychain. Oh, okay, 01:01:22.179 --> 01:01:26.380 okay. Now, the trend now on social media is the 01:01:26.380 --> 01:01:28.239 kids in high school get up on the pull -up bar. 01:01:28.590 --> 01:01:31.349 And do one pull up and do like a negative like 01:01:31.349 --> 01:01:33.210 go really slow on the way down and just start 01:01:33.210 --> 01:01:36.949 moaning. Oh my screaming gay shit All the people 01:01:36.949 --> 01:01:47.429 holding it are like get off the board I would 01:01:47.429 --> 01:01:58.769 have no choice but to laugh Making sex noises 01:01:58.769 --> 01:02:05.849 He was in the ROTC like he was like military 01:02:05.849 --> 01:02:09.079 is his life, bro Already and so when the lunch 01:02:09.079 --> 01:02:10.679 we had different lunch periods, but like when 01:02:10.679 --> 01:02:12.679 the bell would ring for his we were in the same 01:02:12.679 --> 01:02:16.159 class He would stand up run out of the clasher 01:02:16.159 --> 01:02:19.420 run all the way to the cafeteria and like breach 01:02:19.420 --> 01:02:21.940 the doors He like kicked the double doors open 01:02:21.940 --> 01:02:24.559 run straight to the pull -up bar rep out like 01:02:24.559 --> 01:02:34.179 10 Did he end up going to the military? I have 01:02:34.179 --> 01:02:37.820 no idea. They get into they're the worst to fucking 01:02:37.820 --> 01:02:39.599 be around. They're gonna catch on everything 01:02:39.599 --> 01:02:42.099 We call them high speeds, but I slow down cuz 01:02:42.099 --> 01:02:45.280 you know that they're usually a little yeah You 01:02:45.280 --> 01:02:46.739 know what I'm saying? They'll use a little off 01:02:46.739 --> 01:02:48.800 a little bit in the head But they you know, they 01:02:48.800 --> 01:02:51.639 want to be sold. Oh, we're all army and then 01:02:51.639 --> 01:02:53.679 you'll be like, you know The sergeant is telling 01:02:53.679 --> 01:02:56.019 you to sweep the fucking parking lot, you know 01:02:56.019 --> 01:02:58.619 And so you're like bullshit. We have to sweep 01:02:58.619 --> 01:03:01.630 all of this. You like shut the fuck up You know, 01:03:01.829 --> 01:03:03.530 they're the worst. I'll tell you, they're the 01:03:03.530 --> 01:03:06.389 worst and they will snitch on you. Like we're 01:03:06.389 --> 01:03:08.610 in the fucking Coast Guard. You chill out a little 01:03:08.610 --> 01:03:12.050 bit. They see you doing Koga when they go back 01:03:12.050 --> 01:03:14.909 and tell the sergeant. Damn, man. Chill, man. 01:03:15.130 --> 01:03:17.510 They're bitches. I'm high speed too. I'm high 01:03:17.510 --> 01:03:22.869 speed too. Speaking of ROTC, man. I was hanging 01:03:22.869 --> 01:03:25.710 out with my friend like in a EMS class and we 01:03:25.710 --> 01:03:27.530 were like sitting outside and this dude walked 01:03:27.530 --> 01:03:29.590 up from my old class and he went up to my friend 01:03:29.590 --> 01:03:32.110 and he was like, oh, hey man, you were in ROTC, 01:03:32.190 --> 01:03:33.809 right? And he was like, no, not really. He was 01:03:33.809 --> 01:03:35.329 like, what are you in Marines? Like, no, why 01:03:35.329 --> 01:03:37.809 would I be in this class? That's not me at all. 01:03:37.869 --> 01:03:39.610 And I was like, hey man, I was in ROTC, you remember 01:03:39.610 --> 01:03:41.010 me? And he looked me up and I was like, nah, 01:03:41.170 --> 01:03:42.789 man. And then I looked over at him, I was like, 01:03:42.849 --> 01:03:46.699 what the fuck? So he was just lying? No, because 01:03:46.699 --> 01:03:48.760 he looked at me and he was like, man, this dude 01:03:48.760 --> 01:03:50.800 ain't important. That's what I felt like. I was 01:03:50.800 --> 01:03:52.360 like, you meant me right? He was like, nah. But 01:03:52.360 --> 01:03:55.059 you knew him? You recognized the other guy who 01:03:55.059 --> 01:03:56.059 said he didn't know you? I was like, dude, I 01:03:56.059 --> 01:03:57.420 may have seen you, but I was just like, you didn't 01:03:57.420 --> 01:03:59.519 have to say it like that. He was like, nah. He 01:03:59.519 --> 01:04:01.239 just kept going to the other guy. I was just 01:04:01.239 --> 01:04:04.179 there, bro. Damn, bro. I was like, damn, bro. 01:04:04.340 --> 01:04:11.260 I'm still a little confused. I don't know you 01:04:11.260 --> 01:04:13.139 at all, but I was trying to make light of the 01:04:13.139 --> 01:04:14.880 situation. I was like, well, I wasn't that ROTC. 01:04:14.880 --> 01:04:18.119 You remember you ever seen me like now? Anyways 01:04:18.119 --> 01:04:23.440 You should have got him in the mud bro, I want 01:04:23.440 --> 01:04:25.820 to know you like now man hit it with the farmers 01:04:25.820 --> 01:04:29.739 carry Or the jump rope thing. That was a rustling 01:04:29.739 --> 01:04:32.880 move too. Yeah. Yeah, it's a real it's a real 01:04:32.880 --> 01:04:35.469 move. Mm -hmm But it helps you pick big people 01:04:35.469 --> 01:04:38.570 up, so just remember, if I'm ever... You don't 01:04:38.570 --> 01:04:40.429 have to knock down the walls, but you just... 01:04:40.429 --> 01:04:41.570 Oh, no, I'm not knocking down the walls. You're 01:04:41.570 --> 01:04:43.389 not that big. I was just joking, man. You're 01:04:43.389 --> 01:04:45.150 not that big. You was just joking? Yeah, man. 01:04:45.170 --> 01:04:47.989 You were like 800. You're not 800. What do you 01:04:47.989 --> 01:04:48.929 think they have to do to get you out? He said, 01:04:49.250 --> 01:04:52.429 are you? He said, probably not, right? He said, 01:04:52.469 --> 01:04:56.230 for Pat? Yeah. And Pat's in this room right here. 01:04:56.250 --> 01:04:58.889 How much does he weigh? You got two doorways 01:04:58.889 --> 01:05:01.739 you have to get out of. And a narrow clock in 01:05:01.739 --> 01:05:04.420 the narrow hallways. Yeah, the windows damn pat 01:05:04.420 --> 01:05:07.760 they might have to Got to cut some things. Yeah, 01:05:08.019 --> 01:05:10.340 probably the window though. Yeah, you probably 01:05:10.340 --> 01:05:13.039 had to cut a little Yeah, maybe for that first 01:05:13.039 --> 01:05:18.199 floor though first law We can do it well come 01:05:18.199 --> 01:05:19.860 together and get something like there. They were 01:05:19.860 --> 01:05:22.500 just saying they call like the He's got a worker, 01:05:22.500 --> 01:05:25.480 but now they call something else the orca You 01:05:25.480 --> 01:05:27.800 get them up like this you all come together and 01:05:27.800 --> 01:05:30.269 get them out there with that Because if he was 01:05:30.269 --> 01:05:31.989 on the second floor you'd have to like cut a 01:05:31.989 --> 01:05:34.030 hole in the floor and dig him out of the crater. 01:05:34.510 --> 01:05:41.489 I don't think he's getting on the stage. Alright, 01:05:41.730 --> 01:05:42.849 that's the end of this episode. You got anything 01:05:42.849 --> 01:05:45.929 going on, Bryce? I got a show next weekend at 01:05:45.929 --> 01:05:49.590 Shenanigans. Come on down. The day, the Saturday. 01:05:50.389 --> 01:05:53.250 It won't be out. Well, it happened and it went 01:05:53.250 --> 01:05:55.860 pretty good. What else you got? Uh, it's about 01:05:55.860 --> 01:05:58.239 to check out the podcast bryce and cypher show 01:05:58.239 --> 01:06:01.639 gang gang every other week. Yes, sir Yeah, but 01:06:01.639 --> 01:06:02.820 then we're gonna have we're gonna have a backup. 01:06:02.820 --> 01:06:04.500 We're gonna have back up. It's coming, dude. 01:06:04.559 --> 01:06:07.300 Don't worry. We got some bank It's gonna be so 01:06:07.300 --> 01:06:11.239 good You knew your new fucking I told you uh 01:06:11.239 --> 01:06:13.679 your new intro, uh, the dude I work with who's 01:06:13.679 --> 01:06:15.460 he's who's severely autistic and i'll tell you 01:06:15.460 --> 01:06:18.280 exactly It's good. Like when he watches he watches 01:06:18.280 --> 01:06:20.980 my stand -up saying like he'll be like That's 01:06:20.980 --> 01:06:22.780 not that that's not to he's right, you know, 01:06:22.780 --> 01:06:25.820 that's not a joke and he's 100 % right and he 01:06:25.820 --> 01:06:27.840 was like I like he's like I hate to say this 01:06:27.840 --> 01:06:43.119 but I like the the Bryson sci -fi Okay, I like 01:06:43.119 --> 01:06:46.920 the guy dude don't try to turn me on him Thanks 01:06:46.920 --> 01:07:26.500 guys Thanks for watching! Hate Scrappy Doo.