Dude, I had a dude stalk me. I had a dude stalk
me. He kept coming to my house. He would like
call me everywhere I was at. I know I was at
the hospital. He'd be like, I remember one time
I was like, no, he's like, why? Welcome to Clown
College. We have profound knowledge. In many
ways, the elevator makes you sound polished.
So if you want to hear a little honest, a few
takes on the ways to make it as a comic, then
stick around for a while. If you're down to Clown,
we've got the guests right now just to show you
how. Let's all go to Clown College, baby. It's
with Brandon, Mellis, Don, and JJ. Let's all
go to Clown College, baby. It's with Brandon
we're the star of JJ. Okay, that's the first
time I've seen Brandon in a shirt that fits that's
crazy. I know man That's not true, bro The summer
slant slam last week sure that bit. Thank you.
Yes it did In the gym Frequently. Oh, yeah, man.
I'm working. He was on the stair master in a
weighted vest Yeah, nobody else is doing that
in there. No, you're training for some right?
Yeah That makes sense. Hell, yeah. Yeah, man.
Stay out of his fucking shit. I'm saying he's
David, dog. Whatever keeps me from dying. Yeah,
yeah. Dance pass of the class. Yes, that too.
You gotta walk a lot of stairs as a firefighter.
Hell, yeah. You gotta drag people like me down.
Yeah, yeah. Think about that. His eyes got real
big. What's the move? What's the move? If you
see somebody like me, I'm laid out on the floor.
Do I see somebody like you? Well, uh, I don't
give me We're gonna have to cut the walls No,
you know, we don't have time to get stared at,
we'll carry you. What's the move to pick me up?
It's name something that you're trying to do.
Haven't learned that one yet. The carry? No,
we haven't, but I know I have to get you like
this and hold you like this. Yeah. Like arms
over your... The fireman carry, they didn't have
to have to touch you. That's like over your shoulder.
Yeah, that's over your shoulder. That's how you're
gonna have to get somebody like me out. That
shit that you pulling like that ain't gonna work.
Dead weight? No. I can't just hold you like that.
That's not happening. You just got to get them
to the edge of the stairs. And then it's just
push them down. He'll do the wall himself. When
he gets rolling, the wall's already broken. Oh,
man. He's rolling, man. I can't believe you said
that. That's hilarious, bro. That's wild. Probably
destroy the building outside of you. And that'd
be the easiest way. Just scenario, that was just
scenarios. Just destroy the surrounding surfaces.
Nah, man. It's hilarious. It's like sins. When
you're in character, you'll build a door in the
wall. You're on fire. Great connection. Hell
yeah. I got faith he'll get me out. Oh yeah,
I'll get you out, bro. We'll get you out. One
way or another, we're getting you out. The most
thing you're gonna learn is the cars, because...
Most likely. I'm a die from a car related activity.
Oh, yeah the car crash. Yeah Now you will have
to get the jaws of life to get me out of there.
Yeah, man. How how fast are you going? No, I
don't really drive over Because people don't
know how to drive Always miss that one is mine.
I got you Well, you know, I almost died with
this last car wreck Finally got to talk about
it now cuz I finally got my settlement Yeah,
it was a long grueling they didn't give a fuck
they were just like it's cutting dry They hit
you going this fast. So you should get this amount
of money And then it was like two years later
and like oh, we kind of forgot about your shit
We could just put it in right now and get it
really. Yeah, damn. No, that's how it works Well,
you know a shout out to Morgan the Morgan cuz
they were they were there for me when nobody
else wasn't I'm a little nervous man. Well, you
ever do like a stand -up show And you're going
up second and the guy before you shows his balls.
If you ever did that. These are completely separate
days. I saw you guys change clothes and clearly
you were prepared for that shirt. Dude, this
is Dom's shirt. You find it fits well, doesn't
it? There's something tickling me in the back.
I like it. So Bryce, how are you going to top
that? Top the balls? That's what I'm worried
about. This is the fear I had. Oh, yeah. I think
you gotta show ass. Yeah, just go ahead. Can
I wait? Yeah, you can wait. Till about midway.
We got about one minute there. Okay. How about
that, then we should think of an excuse. You
need to go clean up first? No, I'll stay clean.
No, you good? No. Lucky you. Branded this guy.
Yeah, I know, right? So, non -leakage. I'm cool,
bro. Yeah. Finisher or nothing? I've had maybe
two hemorrhoids ever. We all have. At the same
time or like spread out? One, yeah, way spread
out. Years. What about you, man? Me? Aw, dude,
I had an ulcer up in there one time. How'd you
get that? Hmm, just being me. I basically angered
myself. That's how you got it or how you got
it off? Well, it's the chicken in there. Because
that was my guess. I had to get medication and
put it in there. Like a candlestick type thing?
Hand. What do you mean candlestick type thing?
That's what they give you to rectically. But
what's the candlestick part? You gotta light
a fire? It looks like a candlestick. Like a small
one, and you shove it up there, and you gotta
get knuckle deep or it falls back out. At least
the first knuckle. Oh, it's suppository. Yeah,
suppository. Yeah, yeah. Is that what you were
talking about? No, mine was just like a Vaseline
consistency. Oh, I mean, how many knuckles do
you have to go? Just as many as it took to get
up there. Was it one or two, man? Dude, I think
we're talking about... So you had to go all we
had to relax So you had to do that You have to
do that? It was one of the options. You could
wait it out. I would rather wait it out. Fuck
that. You could have done that, waited it out,
or like took a pill, but I'm waiting. Oh man,
I'm waiting. I'm waiting too, bro. I'm trying
to... Oh man, look how big my hands are, man.
Deja's like, I need my asshole right now. ASAP.
You don't want to be out of commission for too
long. Yeah. If you had to do that, Brandon, would
you rather have your finger or Alex's? I'd rather
have nobody's finger. But you had to do it. Not
a choice. I have to or I'm gonna die? Yeah. Alex's.
Well, it looks like I might die. You look at
his finger, look at yours. Which one would you
rather have? He's Asian too, dude. I'm sorry,
man. I do with my finger. I go at the pace I
want to go. You go in yourself? Yeah, I'd rather,
yeah. Yeah, that's the way you do it. You do
it yourself. Yeah, man, I'm good. But Alex is
Asian and they have precise fingers. What's the
word? Am I not gonna feel it or something? Well,
they're known for their massage techniques, so
he'll probably probably He didn't say no crazy
is like this thing on the computers like we it
already knew we're gonna talk about this It says,
uh, why do you cough when the doctor holds your
balls? And that says check for hernias. Yeah,
he asked you to. Oh yeah, I sure did ask. Wait,
can you go down to that one that says do guys
get hard at the doctors? Hold on, let me record
this. Let's find this out. I want to know the
answer to this. Yes, it is common and normally
psychological response for men to experience
an erection during a medical exam, particularly
a genital exam, and doctors are... accustomed
to this. It could be an eye exam. Hell accustomed,
so they're used to this. So if they come to touch
on you, it's okay for you to get hurt. It's common.
It's common. It's not okay. It's common though.
It's weird as hell. They're accustomed to it
so they know it happens. It does happen. Hell,
who was the doctor? I'm not, this is not okay,
but it, I understand. So is alcohol induced vehicular
manslaughter, you know what I'm saying? It's
common, but it's not great. You got your yin
and yang. You just have to use examples people
can relate to. I feel that. Hell yeah. Okay,
so what if you were like EMS on the scene, you
gotta put your hand up somebody's ass? Yeah,
I gotta do what I gotta do. Damn right. So it's
fine. So if you're getting paid for it, it's
okay. Well, yeah, I'm saving a life, yeah, but
if it's just me... If it's just me with me and
myself, I'm like... With me, I'd be like, yeah,
whatever I have to. With another person's asshole,
you'd be like, okay. Well, yeah, man, we gotta
save that life. I mean, me, because if I'm not
finna die, I mean, if I'm finna die, then I'd
be like, yeah, I guess I'll do it, but if I'm
not gonna die, then I can just wait it out. What
if you either, you're not gonna die, but it's
gonna be like, you have to deal with two weeks
of excruciating pain, or you could just stick
it up there and you'll be done. It'll be done
by tomorrow, the pain, and it's real pain. You
see how fucking hard I was up there. Okay, man.
I don't think I like that. I don't know, I get
pause. I try it. I try it. You try, right? I
try it. I got something in there if you need
something there. Thankfully, we're in the clear
now. Candlesticks. Candlesticks. No, I'm in the
clear now, thankfully. I'll just give them to
you for later. Yeah, yeah. You never know when
they might pop back up and say hello. Bryce,
you have a nice head of hair on you. Yeah, I
need a haircut. You got a mane, dude. I got a
lot. You look fake. You look so, like, you know
what I mean? Damn. You look fake as shit. Damn.
I don't even know how to respond to this. Damn,
man. I'm real. I'm real, motherfuckers. Okay?
I like the gradient you have going on. Gradient?
Yeah, it's like the red beard into, like, the
darker. I got a lot of colors. Red, white, and
brown. That's me, dude. That's what this country's
turning into. That's why I said it to you. I
knew you knew it was a handoff. He'll take this.
Two whites on the podcast this time. Mm -hmm.
Thank you Alex look like Logan from Wolverine
man. I get the gay Wolverine. I understand This
is the roast, okay. He didn't say gay though.
Not gay, I didn't say gay. You made it insecure,
like you motherfucker. Gay Wolverine dude. I
meant to say thank you. Thanks Brandon. That's
him right there. There you go. Yeah. Hell yeah,
no show me being ripped, dude. Let me be great.
This one right here Here go better one here.
I am. Oh, yeah, my sins are gone When you pop
the right hemorrhoid, you know, oh, yeah the
right hemorrhoid Dom has right or left. Yeah,
I don't know which one is which I Look great.
They just said that dude Hell yeah. Did y 'all
hear about John Cena? Dude. Fuck, dude. Fuck,
man. I'm pissed. I am. Dude, me too. I'm pissed.
Me too. And I'm glad now I'm not the only one
anymore, man. Did y 'all already talk about this
or something? No, no, man. I'm glad you brought
that up. Let's talk about it. Man, shit. Yeah,
pull him up. Man, look at this. Let's show you
what he looks like now. Look at that, man. Damn.
You look mad as hell. Oh, he has evil white guy
hair. Here's him zooming in on the camera. Hairstylist.
This is when he broke up with everybody. Oh my
gosh, bro. He looks like he's losing a lot of
weight. He looks a little sick. Yeah. I feel
like he got shit done, didn't he? Like surgeries?
If he did, he did. They had a good job. I'm not
saying they didn't. You know whose face they
fucked up, bro? Who? Zac Efron. Yeah, that's
much more Tim. Yeah. Well. He was apparently
coked up running around his apartment like Phil
smashes But still how does that do that to it
like nobody? He looks like fucking Meg Ryan Look
like something's not right. He has a huge face
stuff That's a massive lower than the eye face.
That's a massive Angelina Jolie was a man. Don't
you dare do that to that white queen? How dare
you? She's so hot. She's so hot. When did she
on Sharktales? What? She was on Sharktales. Angelina
Jolie? Yeah. Remember Sharktales? Angelina Jolie
is a woman over there. I know what you mean.
No, I'm saying. Hold on. Let me tell you. Hold
on. I'll show you. Look, hold on. Look, hold
on. See, look, Angelina Jolie, she with Lola.
Yeah, but that's the... I could name another
movie she's been in besides Shark Tale. Mr. and
Mrs. Smith. It's a good fish right there, though.
They did a good job with that fish. Did she blackface
a fish? She has big lips, too, bro. It's her,
too. That's sexy red, though. It's a nice thing.
I remember when I was a kid, I was like, that's
a fish right there. Oh, I thought we was doing
sexy, duh. Is she saying that? She said a what?
Say it again. I thought we were doing sexy red
corpse. Why didn't you enunciate the end? That's
how she does it, booty hole brown. She was singing
about a booty hole. Yeah. She said, my pussy
pink, my booty hole brown. That's how kids are
learning colors. That's a good way to learn.
That's the right way to do it. That's a good
way to learn, I guess. I learned it. But you
you were young when you learned that oh hell
yeah like in third grade because the other kids
they tell you Well, you had a friend. Hey, they
tell you everything they taught me the bird told
me about this like everything about Beating stuff.
I remember people like you beat you me and I
thought that they were talking about like grabbing
a steak and like hitting the steak I'm like,
yeah, man And then when they would ask like what
size this thing was and like I remember I was
like on the school bus in middle school I was
like, it's like this guy thought they were talking
about like that size I didn't know they meant
like how long it is like that. I said it's something
I like that So when they said this I thought
they were talking about it's like swollen The
meat penis or you dick But you were talking about
the beat No, he was talking about it, but once
I realized what they're talking about every time
I sighed I thought they were measuring it like
that. So I wouldn't be like, it's like this and
everybody would be like, it's like right here.
And I'm like, damn, bruh. And they'd be like,
yeah. And they'd be like, all right, cool. So
you better do it long ways. Yeah, because I thought
they meant like going in there or something like
that as a kid. Yeah, not like this. Brandon's
pants -a -monding abilities aren't the best,
dude. And we realized this during the great soft
taco demonstration in 2023 when he was like,
demonstrating how he would eat a soft taco. He
had no idea what he was doing. Yeah. Right? Yeah.
How do you all eat a soft taco, huh? So how do
you do it? What happened? I just get a soft taco
and eat it like that. Because of we time -out.
Like sideways? Like opening it sideways? Yeah.
The opening towards you or the back? Mean which
every way to talk we ever want to go to time.
You don't care. Okay? Real tacos. What are we
talking about? Yeah Taco Bell time? Get it. I'll
eat it like that because why would I even like
I can straightforward? Options so you could roll
it up just like straight ahead man. I just turn
it so you eat lettuce first Oh, man, do whatever's
there? But you know what I mean like, you know,
they put the meat on the bottom. Yeah cheese
and the lettuce So I just bite everything at
the same time. There's no start. Just eat it
all at the same time. Because that's what it's
for, the combination, man. We're not gonna eat
one at a time. No, yeah, we agree on that part.
Yeah. You're right, Brandon. Thank you. Thank
you, man. What are you talking about, JJ? I'm
confused. What the fuck, dude? I just recovered
from an ailment after I wrapped up my active
tour. in the U .S. military, dude. You guys know.
What are you talking about? I joined the military,
I'm a veteran of this country. He went to MAPS
and said, dog. Really? He didn't even go to MAPS,
I'm sorry. I took to ASVAB, and they were like,
come back tomorrow. And I was like, you betcha.
Right in early, I'll be here. Never showed up.
Because... Now you tell me you're a soldier you're
gonna tell people this when you're 60 I almost
join You're not a veteran don't tell people this
I'm halfway in the handicap halfway in Damn.
I mean, I watched Captain America. So I won't
be treated like this, dude. You go talk to a
veteran like this? He's a firefighter, though.
Hey, you know what? I watched Captain America.
Captain America? I'm just kidding. I'm just fucking
with you. You're a firefighter. Which one? Huh?
What'd you do? Wait, what? You're a firefighter,
though. You're a hero, too. Oh, well, eventually.
Eventually, we'll be there. You don't have the
same interests as him. If you were him, you'd
be a firefighter. Yeah, you're more of a firefighter
than he is a veteran. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he actually
did training for this. I trained in. What'd you
train? Ran. You gotta run in the arm. It's a
big part. It is a big part. I make my bed sometimes.
Damn. You do the creases though? Creases? Yeah.
Crazy frowned upon in my unit. I see I see based
on your shirt. That is correct Same day, that's
why Bryce's callback was funny. This is Dom's
shirt. He's folding Hell yeah, I know what our
next target is paramilitary Hell yeah, that's
me right? You're the first to go Wow Lighting
a fire in here, so I can't have you around spillies.
Oh You spit it too, bro. You can let me go I'm
bombing Everybody loves you Bryce Thanks, man.
You're like one of the most beloved comics in
the strongest. Yep. Definitely tell them about
it Oh my gosh, look at this. He actually does
look like just like Actually any white guy with
a beard, I guess. Yeah, you put a plan on you
dude. I got a color my beard I've considered
it. Oh Bryce we got a member. We got to do that
skit with you in the dashiki shirt Hmm. Yeah
where I'm like a white slave No, sure. No, I
mean, I didn't think I'd be what if you want
to do that though? I'm so not a black girl, right?
Yeah, but I'm like, uh, we're gonna do white
slave though I mean, I mean that's growing on
me right now as you say it sounds like a good
band name, too Dude, dude, you do white slave
woof woof. JJ wrote you something up right now.
You know he got some other shit for that. He's
like, I already have a bunch of slave stuff.
Now he's gonna add the white. Now I just have
to find the right way. He's gonna make it white,
okay. Slave chick. But are you owned by whites
or owned by blacks? I think I own my blacks in
this. This is like an altar. This is like a Twilight
Zone. Potentially. We'll just say it's historically
accurate. We'll look up where I guarantee there
was a black slave owner who owned Irish indentured
servants. I love you, dude. I love this guy.
You're going to be the president. Did you know
that? He's talking like that. United States,
bro. You're the perfect person. That shit makes
me mad. All the political shit. You know what
else makes me mad is the young people care so
much about it. Oh yeah, it's stupid. I haven't
cared yet. Me neither. Me neither. I was literally
18 when Obama, and I was like, dude, we're going
to have a black president. Am I going to go vote?
Probably not, but I'm not waiting in line. I
still think that's tight and then These guys
are these young ones are like all just hawker.
They let it ruin their days man That's why do
you imagine these rich people who play golf together
after they didn't say whatever they're saying
to let you ruin your day? Don't talk to your
my mom. I'm your grand -grand. Yeah crazy. It's
crazy. Yeah, we'll do the white slave thing Let's
get back to some real shit White slaves do I
look I guarantee I am I'm almost positive. That's
that's the thing that happened And you'll just
play that person. We'll get the whole story accurate.
Oh, bro, we talk about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
let's do that. I just didn't know you guys knew.
That's in you guys's community. Yeah, he's getting
shy he knows to when they burn the library of
Alexandria a lot of those records got lost We
built the pyramids. That's why when you open
up the history textbook, that's why the pharaoh
is white. It was the Irish who built the pyramids.
It was the Irish. It fucking sucked. I mean they
were probably like a sandy color. Who? The people
who built the pyramids by sandy toward more white.
I think they were black. They were just tan.
I think they were very black. They weren't black.
They were in the sun all the time. They had that
like a Florida woman skin, like the hot dog skin.
You think they're sexy? No, I didn't think of
that. Right? Because they didn't have anything
to protect them. Everybody just had melanoma.
Yeah, for sure. They died when they were 10.
That's why you had to work them young. It takes
a lot of kids to pull those, they think it's
the aliens. No, it's fucking throw enough slaves
at something. I guarantee it gets done. Especially
with all those plagues. Yeah. Oh. That would
be annoying. I don't like how intently you looked
at me when you said that. Like, Bryce knows.
He's heard the tales. Yeah, it works. John Cena,
huh? That is a big problem. He's the direct descendant
of Ramses II, dude. Who? Oh, which one was Ramses?
Was he cool? One of the important ones. I know,
I remember. Damn. Ramsey did some good shit.
His son died in one of the plays we did. You
know, Passover and what not. So people you don't
really care for. Which one? The Jews, yeah. Oh
god. We're having a good episode. It was so good.
But actually, they're good people now. Because
the person who tased me made me realize that.
And he won't stop hitting us up about the D &D.
He just hit me up. He's like, so... Dude, we
were at... I want my character to be a white
slave. That's a good D &D. White slave. Dude,
he chased me there. Cracker Jim. Oh, shit. Cracker
Jim. I had to campaign for his freedom. Yes.
I love it. I love that. That's good. That's really
good. We got to get up on board. Yeah, don't
he get like they the They get to make the whole
thing and we just have to follow it or do you
get input? I don't know. Do you know? None of
us I played D &D before what was your question?
So the the deep dungeon master they make up the
whole story and we just follow. Yeah, we give
input Well, he'll probably like you have like
a prompt He's found unless he makes it the whole
fucking thing but most time they have like a
thing. No, they Google it Could the campaign
be on a plantation? That's my question. Um, yeah.
Oh my god, does he have to talk in a slave voice
when he's, like, on the NPC? Whatever a white
slave turns out to be. Barbarossa has to be like,
well, master can't fit in. Does that have to
happen? But I like the white slave voice. It's
kind of hot outside. Oh, I don't want to rake
in. I don't want to. Oh, wow. Forge again? Man.
God, it's just too... You put too much salt in
it. Oh, God. Ready to get down for this? Down
for Dungeons and Dragons? Hell, yeah. Let's get
some Dungeons and Dragons. We're about to have
some white slaves, dude. Have you played before?
Dude, I almost did. I wanted to for years. I
remember, I almost did. There was a library and
I was supposed to do it, but it was the exact
time of wrestling practice. Sadly, I missed out.
Damn. So you had to do more tight shit? Yeah,
it was a board game club, an anime club. You
were in that? Both of them? Well, yeah, because
you know, I was kind of, you know, I didn't have
many friends, so I was like trying to get into
something. Mm -hmm. I know, they all stepped
you. Oh, they sure did. The anime guys. That's
me, bro. And these guys are me, bro. That's why
I ran in some furries. You can't put anime and
D &D in the same category. Why not? They're the
same fucking thing. Which one's superior, dude?
Which one's superior? Anime. So all three of
you guys watch anime. Yeah, I mean some of it.
Some of it. A lot of people watch anime, bro.
Yeah. A lot of people, huh? A lot of people watch
anime, man. I watched some. You told me to watch
one last episode. It was at... I don't remember.
Ghost of Shinami. That's a video game. That's
a video game. That's a video game. That's a video
game. That's a video game. That's a video game.
That's a video game. That's a video game. That's
a video game. That's a video game. That's a video
game. That's a video game. That's a video game.
That's a video game. That's a video game. That's
a video game. That's a video game. That's a video
game. That's a video game. That's a video game.
That's a video game. That's a video game. That's
a video game. That's a video game. That's a video
game. That's a video game. That's a video game.
I've been watching this one right now where it's
about like these people they go to a school in
a world where it's like 2095 there's World War
three a whole bunch of people died now there's
only like three billion people on the planet
They use magic, but it's like computer -based
magic. You lost them, bro. You gotta skip through
that. It's technology -based magic. So it's like
the technology in all these sequences, they help
you perform these magic spells. Yeah, anime's
gay. You lost me a bad one, too. You turned me.
Me, too. Well, that might have been in the Jewish
conspiracy video. She sounds just like that.
Six billion, and then... Hey Dom, you want to
see something more like simple, you know, I mean
Like something that I like, I'm telling you this
is what I like. Yeah, I actually appreciate that.
Thank you man. Look at it. He needs it. Ghost
Follows UU Haka Show, man. It's just like, thank
you. It's just a dude. He's fighting all these
like ghosts and spirits. And dude, he's badass.
Or Cowboy Bebop. You love Cowboy Bebop. I try
to watch the real one. I watched the real one
and that sucked. We won't even search that up.
We won't even search that up. We won't even search
that up. We won't even search that up. Cuz it's
not it don't work. That's the shit. I'm into
it That's number one time for them to fight whoever
the fuck that yeah They like this dude, what
do you talk every every Mexican is required to
have a Dragon Ball Z really they're all Goku
I haven't I never thought about this, but I agree
go to Ross Yeah, yeah Kind of like this brother
though man Raditz Mm -hmm Weak as hell, but like
he was he was dying. He didn't get to go Super
Saiyan did he? Hell no, they killed him right
away. He ain't go super. He wasn't he was the
weakest one Piccolo was the black guy He was
a vibe thing and that's why he was strong, but
he wasn't strong enough to be like that. You
don't think you know, I mean character Yeah,
he's like up there. He's a cool black guy Yeah,
oh for sure you got a sacrifice piccolo, it's
the turban to really They brought back though.
Remember he saved the kid. He jumped it from
the kid and go hot and then pull I believe you
though. Who would you pick if you was a Dragon
Ball Z character who would be your character?
You first. Me? Alright. Oh, Vegeta. Oh yeah.
Without a doubt, Vegeta. You're on our side,
but you're kind of not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude,
I get mad. I can see that. What do you think,
dude? Trunks. That's a good one. You are Trunks.
Dude, you can play Trunks. I don't remember his
name, but the actual is it Shinron the dragon?
Oh, you'd be the dragon. The infinitely aged
dragon. What a choice. You only get to come out
like once every millennium. Somebody touches
my balls, I come out. Who's going to be the racist
cartoon black guy? You don't know who I'm talking
about? Mr. Poe? Oh, my God. You talking about
Jinx, bro? Mr. Poe, that's definitely Brandon.
Oh, man. Damn. Goddamn. Nah, man. Brandon, that's
Jinx. Let me show you my god, let me show you
Man, that dude was tight as hell, bro. I had
that on VHS. Dude. Broly. Man, Broly was the
shit. Which one was Broly? Was he Goku Daddy
or something? No. He's the one that came in and
started beating everybody's ass. Yeah, dude.
No, even Goku couldn't control that dude. They
had to get Vegeta. They had to get Vegeta. Yeah,
they had both of them fight at the same time.
My boy. They both had to fight. Nobody picked
Cell. Cell was a bad motherfucker, dog. I can
see that being jailed. Hey, Cell, wipe. I didn't
like how he pulled out. Dude. Nah, man. Dude,
I didn't... He's sharp. Look. Speak sharply.
Long tail instead of the hair. Dude, Sel needs
a charge, man. He pulled out that long stick
and started, like, going up to people. And they're
like, no! And he just sucked the soul out of
them like that. That wasn't right. I've had that
before. That was fucking nah, man. And they didn't
want that. It looks like YouTube, man. New to
was a dog new to was a dog and the Bibbidi Bobbidi
boo Fuck we say that's the real thing. This is
where it was different spots of them. I think
I Got you no, I was talking about me to the pussy.
Oh, that's not yeah, that's not man like Patrick's
Badass friends is this bro? Well, Pat's the big
one. Who fucks you up? Okay. Evans has to be
sci -fi for the other one. As an evolution. Who's
Freeza? Alex. Alex, hell yeah. Dude, yes. Black
Freeza. Now I'm on board. Who's Jalen? That's
a real one though, right? Who's Jalen? Who's
Jalen? Master Roshi? Actually? Yeah, dude. The
pervert. Wait, should I be Dante then? Dante
might be Boo then. No, Dante is definitely Majo.
Well, Pat would be funnier as Majo and Boo. Is
there a fresh character? Probably. Oh yeah, there's
Boo, there's Kid Boo, Majo. Yeah. Yeah. Syfy
would be Kid Boo. Syfy would be Kid Boo. Scottie
Sin would be Boo. The adult Boo. Because he doesn't
have hair. This guy with his small pupils. Wait,
so who's gonna be Goku? Oh, yeah, we're a bunch
of fucking betas, dude. Nobody chose the main
character. Well, Goku got his ass whupped a lot.
Well, Bryce would have to be Goku because he's
as strong as you can be. I love it. I love it.
I accept. Thank God you guys said it. Nobody
picks Goku, guys. I can't go second and pick
Goku. I'll wait for them to say it. Thanks, dude.
He sees it. Hell yes, the anime is great. The
anime is great. Dom's gonna get into it. Did
you ever see any of the episodes of Naruto? Nope,
never seen that. You never saw a single one?
No. Naruto? Even if you woke up at like 3 a .m.
It was just on the TV. Naruto? I don't think
I was that when I was... At the first Believe
It, dude, he's gonna be out. The first time he
goes Believe It, he's gonna be out. He doesn't
like friendship. I tell you what I fuck with
of Naruto is Rock Lee, dude. That's my guy. Are
you like the guy without any abilities? Yeah,
but he wills. He just tries really hard. He does.
I love it. Oh, that could be Brandon because
he runs around with the training belt on. Why
is that like Naruto? Dude, what the fuck? I said
Rockle. And as soon as I said Raku, that popped
up with defeat. What the hell? His name's Rock?
Where you see feet at? No, look right here. Soon
as I say it, I say Rock. Oh, no! Brand did. You
found gay porn? Brand did. Have you been looking
up stuff on this computer? No, man. There ain't
nobody looking up this. Why is it so much white?
Why are you still staring? I don't even know
who I'm looking at. I said rock who and that
popped up. Brandon, why are you not clinging
on? He found the weird porn. He's getting excited
over this. Aw, man. He can't watch it? They had
a feather there too. Is that what you like, Brandon?
The feather to your feet? The undertook the porn?
Well, not to me. Oh, you like to do it to other
feet. That's a control serve. I respect it. I'll
observe. Back in the day, I would observe. Back
in the day, I would observe. That's what they
do? Take a feather to the feet? Yeah, they do
shit like that. What's the other things that
they do in these videos? Tie it up. What do they
do when they tie it up? Do what you saw in those
pictures. Just be playing around. How do we unlock
this conversation? This is wild. You could have
said no. You know what? Nah, man. That didn't
happen. I don't know why but Rockle is just a
term people foot tickling So that's your favorite
it's a term for foot tickling what yeah Joking
around would they ever would they ever would
they ever you know, I'm just kidding. I love
it Yeah, I'm just saying we're just going to
bit. So what happened with pleasure? Are the
person these videos with the feet? Oh, yes, they
would man. They do they and with the feet Oh,
yeah, they got the feet and then they'll gradually
go up slowly go up So you know that part the
good part. Oh, so they do they actually do. Oh,
yeah, actually, yeah, man. It's not heel Are
y 'all in the future? Like feet? Sex? I know
you are. I don't even understand it. I don't
really know what they're into. Exactly. I understand
it's a dirty part for a woman. It's gross. But
she has it clean. So it's feminine. That's what
people tell me. That's what I heard. That's what
I googled. I hate feet, bro. I hate feet. Yeah,
they're gross. He really does. He hates them.
I can't stand it. Damn I didn't know Yeah, I
get it You passed it there we had to die you
said it smelled really good though We already
spelt it last time. It wasn't bad. Shit, it's
bad. Is it bad right now? Oh man, it's the worst.
Just because you're stressed. Yeah, that works
now. The pheromones. I get stress stinks. That's
real. Oh, that's real. I keep uncovering all
you guys' problems. I'm going to stress everybody
out. You eeks, bro. Yeah. Hell yeah. It has to
be that. You like dirty feet? Nah man, let's
let it be clean. Clean. You don't want a little
bit of tint to it? Nah man, nah. Like a little
bit of film around it? That's disgusting. Ooh,
wait, like what, like a jungle scene or some
shit? Huh? Like a Tarzan scene, you pull up,
you strap to a vine? Yeah, strap to a vine. Yeah,
I said that. Yeah, something. Yeah, something
like that. Yeah, I guess. Shaped to a vine. I'm
just saying a little dirt on there. Yeah. Make
sure you know she didn't prepare them. You're
just going to get after them. Oh, no, man. What
was she walking on? She could have walked on
the floor. She's walking on you guys' floor in
your kitchen. She walks to the kitchen. She comes
out. She lays her feet on the couch. Look at
these. Well, we'd have a dog that runs around.
What if the dog shits on the floor? I would hope
she would Clean yeah, let's clean. It's like
there's so many things on that floor So how do
you get there? How do you pair the feet? Yeah?
Take a bath Yeah, a whole bath easy one. That's
easy question. Oh, no. No, just take a shower
Just take a shit get cuz you don't want you don't
want to wait. No because they get softer In the
bath, they will be softer. Do you pee in the
shower? Hell nah man, I can't do that. What?
You like feet but you don't pee in the shower?
Nah man, because I'm like, I don't know man.
It goes down the drain. I know but, nah. Peeing
in the shower is the way to go. So that's good.
Yeah. Sometimes I stand outside the shower and
piss in the air because, you know, why not? That's
crazy. I do that to the sink. Don't look at me
like that's normal. I'm saying, like, right before
you're about to get in, you can't hold it till
you get all the way in, you know? I do it after.
I just let it sit there. I pee in the sink. You
pee in the sink? I can't pee in the sink. I do
that. That's horrible. I don't do it now because
I share a bathroom. Do you brush your teeth in
that sink? Yeah, you can't see I'm with you Brandon.
Oh, that's crazy. These two. No, don't bring
me into this. I don't do any of this crazy shit
you all said. Damn, man. Bro, have you ever wanted
a urinal in your house? Guess what? No. One in
every bathroom. Guess what? Check your kitchen.
Yeah. Luckily for you, I don't use urinals, man.
What we almost got we almost got you where we
at in Gunnersville? Yeah, we had a fork in the
road It was two of us and there was a urinal
a urinal and then a star and then a stall and
I was like Brandon This is your chance. Which
one do you want? Went to the stall. He thought
about but he did think about for a second and
then he went to the stall Yeah, but you know
that could have been your chance to go cuz there's
nobody else in the bathroom It's just two people
could be in there. You could have did it Don't
have a change of pants. Mm -hmm. I don't have
a change of pants. Oh shit goes on it's not going
to though I mean, that's a that's a I mean nothing's
gonna happen. You just start pissing in the urine
But even if it goes sideways Brandon, you're
still in the urine just put yourself all the
way in the urinal Poke your pelvis towards it.
I Don't want to actually hit the light. Yeah,
what's that? I want to hit the wall of it. You
can you can still see Yeah, we got to figure
this out. It's just yeah, we're gonna do it one
day though, right? Yeah, well, we're gonna do
this together. What's going on? I'll be there
for your support. We should record it. Oh Do
can we record the first time you take a piss
in here? Yeah, as long as there's no like junk
action. Have you ever? No, we'll be behind. Oh
behind me You said what have you ever peed in
here? Oh, I mean, yeah a couple times without
having your pants touching. Oh, yeah Didn't like
it. How long ago was the last time? Maybe a year
or two ago. Oh, so you did it recently? Yeah,
once. I was like, let me just see how this is.
Uh -huh. And how'd it go? It was all right, but
I was like, man, this shit. Just go in style.
I don't care. So you sitting down, or you just
standing up? Oh, I was standing. We were standing.
He just takes his pants all the way in. You ever
pee outside? Outside. I see. Nah, it's been years.
Who else does that? 2009. Who else does that?
Who else takes their pants and underwear all
the way to the ground to piss? Oh, children.
Children, yeah. You guys to go to the urinal
and pull your pants to your I would never do
that I would do it I do it if you guys set up
a camera. I'll do it and I'll stay there Yeah,
we'll be fraud or for but maybe What if you what
if we just shoot from the deck up? So like so
like in the back. Yeah But I mean, it's still
evasion of privacy. It's for the other people.
Yeah, for the other people. But like, just what
they would do. But that's part of it. You just
have to do it for the love of the game. Yeah.
Because it is funny. Yeah. Or we legit script
it and act. Yeah. But I want people to really
see me in my pants all the way down. And just
to see their face when they stand. Oh, now this
is turning into like voyeurism. Yeah. And dude,
I can't wait to just stare at them in their face
while they're, you know, they're next to me.
Why are you facing them? Oh, OK. They're next
to me. I just look at them like this. I'm just
having my hands people would be people be frightened
in the worst way They would be like what the
fuck if I walked into a restroom I'd be like,
oh, that's a guy standing outside. Okay, I'd
leave the restaurant or the bathroom Probably
both. What the fuck? Man, how did you leave it?
You're the one who does it. No, I do it in the
stall, not in the urinal. You said there can't
be two of us. When you get in the batters. How
far do you pull your pants down when you get
in the stall? We get down probably knees or something.
Did Brandon stop it? Something like that. To
the knees? What's the point just to the knees?
Below the knee? You know we have seen this happen.
Y 'all have seen it. We told you about how we've
seen it. So you looked at my pants at the bottom.
Where were they at, Brandon? They were, I mean,
sometimes it'd be the knees, sometimes it'd go
in the ankle, but I'm like, because dude, I'm
in the stall. Nobody can see. I mean, you have
to be better. But no, but we're saying nobody
can see, but when you're at the stall, 60%, 70
% of the time, where are they at your ankles?
I guess probably 70%. 70, 80? Seventy -five.
Seventy -five. Seventy -five percent. Sold. It
depends on the day, man. I'm telling you, I got
trauma as a kid. I remember they used to have
people that run in there while you were on the
urine on them. Well, they never did this to me,
but I would watch it happen to other people.
And I'd be like, that's crazy. They'd just run
up and push them, and then they'd just pee all
over themselves. Yeah. And they thought it was
all a joke. And that's what started this whole...
Yeah, because I was watching that, I'm like,
damn, that's crazy as hell, man. Never happened
to you, though. Never happened to me, because
I was like, fuck it, I was just going to stall,
man. No need to even battle over that. No need
to make that a problem. Mm -hmm. See, we didn't
have stalled doors in the bathroom. Oh, man.
What? So when you had to take a shit, it was
just out there? Damn. No way. What the fuck?
Yeah. Damn. What? Yeah, bro. That's gotta get
some kind of cold, dude. What the fuck? I mean,
I remember, like, yeah. Especially what happened
dude? No, you guys are never about to say I mean
you would just walk in and you just like walk
by and you'd see somebody sitting on the toilet
shitting That's fucked up. We have looking back
on it. Yes weird. Yes, sir Question board this
but yeah, that's how it was cuz that was one
like the whole vaping epidemic really And they
said we're taking the fuck Fuckin do show us
your digs. They chose your cocks then their next
step was to just close the bathroom entirely
So there was like one bathroom for the whole
school to use and there'd be a big -ass line
outside Well like one girls one boys obviously
but like big -ass lines on either side Cuz that
when they start coming out with those Trump had
just banned the jewel pods the flavored jewel
That was a big thing in high school. That was
like when people started caring about politics
They came out with the disposable vapes like
so the pop was the first one I remember everybody
had one dude and it was only like 400 hits or
something like that And they just go in there
and vape and then we got stall door privileges
taken away And then it was bathroom privileges
taken away except that one then somebody smoked
weed in there and that was a whole thing ballsy
We had a bathroom door ripped open but it was
for like a couple months because we had a dude
that was kind of off And he was like jacking
off in there, and he actually ripped the door
somehow. And then he did like a whole paragraph
of apology on Edmoto. You remember Edmoto? Edmoto?
Yeah, man. That's insane. He did it for the whole
class. That's like a school social media. Oh,
OK. Like, you can message your classmates on
there. He's like, sorry I was jerking off in
the bathroom. Yeah, he felt so bad. He was like,
I'm so embarrassed and so hurt to say what happened
in that bathroom. And he told us everything.
He was going at it hard. He really was. He was
creepy, man. Got me to break off a door. Just
being at school, you automatically have an Edmodo
account. Like how UAH had Canvas. But it's more
of like a social media type thing. Like group
me? Yeah. That's so lame. But it's like Facebook
for school. He's like, I'm sorry, I'm just jerking
off. Yeah. He had a problem. He did it in the
classroom, too. They caught him watching in the
back of the classroom. OG Gooner, bro. He's going
to be a problem. He's going to be a big problem.
Dude, he was a problem. I'm like, let's change
the subject. There was a kid who got boners No,
he didn't use that he was too past autism scales.
Oh, okay. Take a you didn't have the awareness
of that Was it a nice one was a rock? Was it
out there was yeah, oh I heard you how many could
you do it was it was dick. Yeah Okay, it was
big as hell, dude. I grabbed it. No, look I have
a theory about this that they have They have
massive rods. Oh, I see what you're saying. You
see what I'm saying? And I don't mean anything
wrong with that. But you know what I'm saying,
but you know what I'm saying? You said you got
a piece on you. It's his choice to pull his pants
down. Like watching Star Wars, man. That's a
masterpiece. He's like, oops, nobody look. Okay,
I can see that. Because I pull mine up when I
pee, so that makes sense. I'm like, uh -uh. I
think when I got pants, they kept saying, hey,
man, we kept watching the tape. I don't know
what's up. Oh, man, I never told you about that.
This dude thought it was a good idea to pants
me in the class in eighth grade, and then he
accidentally pulled down both of my pants. But
I thought that nobody saw me. No, dude, I thought
nobody saw me so I pulled up real fast and nobody
said nothing for like two days and then like
the principal called me to the office and like
yo, man, we saw On camera was the couple back
a couple times. You got pants. Are you okay?
And then they were like this girl in the back
saw she was a witness And uh, we were just making
sure you're good like that's a skip from a movie
Like we saw we watched it seven times We finally
felt bad. We saw the first day He robbed me uh,
he tried to rob him with a magic card because
he was like I got jason myron card And I was
like, you got jason myron card. He like yeah
I'll sell it to you for 80 bucks and I was like
you got it and I never gave him the money But
I was like where's it at every day? He'd be like
I'm gonna have it next week. This dude never
had jason myron What was it minecrafter of mine?
Yeah, you remember Jace the mine sculptor or
like the main card Hold on. It was the best card.
Yeah, go and pull it up. Hey the mine sculptor
White Lotus Jayden. I'm not no Jason. Yes, Jason
mine sculptor right there. This one minecraft
for $18. Oh, yeah now you can but back then it
was like, oh, yeah back to divorce Yeah, because
it was like you had the hologram one like that
I don't know shit about magic anymore, but we
used to hide under the bleachers and play there
for like, dang. Who's like the mother? Is it
okay car? It's not fucking face. Dude, you know
that was most of my problems though because like
it would always be like an action figure like
my friend that y 'all all know when we were kids
like we used to always fight back in the day
like I remember eating full rocks with me and
like the playground I started like fighting back
up one day like One day I'll show you a picture
one day this girl one of the men said she had
this action figure right here. Hold on 2010 It
was a lot of action figure trading to his son.
So you see that Jake the Snake Robbers right
there? So she said she had it. And I was like,
I could get it. And she was like, yeah. And then
he was like, nah, man, I want it. Forget him.
And I was like, oh, so you're going to try to
take my toy? Because it was so hard at the time.
I didn't have a debit card or nothing. So I couldn't
get my Russell and Legends, right? So then he
was like, I want it. And she was like, oh, I'm
going to give it to you. And I was like, fuck
that. So then I waited until PE started. And
I got the jump ropes. And I beat him with the
jump ropes. And then like everybody chained me
in the corner like that's horrible Brandon And
then everybody's like you suck, you suck even
the teacher said that and I'm like damn The teacher
said you suck Yeah, she's like what's wrong with
you? He said you suck? I think so everybody was
yelling it. I don't know because she just jumped
she went in the middle I'm like what's wrong
with you everybody was saying that and I was
like damn Did you feel bad? I did but I was also
mad I didn't get my action figure bro. She was
lying to me He just wanted us to fight. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and then he beat somebody for jump rope
two weeks later, so He wasn't innocent. No, he
wasn't innocent dog. Hell no, he was not. That
dude was wild, man. He was a little racist, too.
Not anymore. He should have stood up top. Yeah.
He should have told us that part of the story.
By that time, he was like, man, that's horrible.
Yeah, that is pretty bad. He was like, that's
horrible. Apologize every day and people got
everybody cornered you into a corner and yeah.
Oh, yeah, dude I remember it was like like I
went near the stairs. So, you know, the bleachers
are at yeah, I went like That's some bleachers
and there was like some curtains. I just sitting
back. I'm sorry, man Damn, that sucks. Yeah That's
where I thought the story was going. And then
I murdered them all. Like the equalizer, I just
turn on my timer and just get them all. Like
a fucking Fortnite watch. Oh man, dude. Nah,
that wasn't out yet. It was 2012 or 2011. Back
of the day. That was when like Fred and Justin
Bieber were crazy. Oh yeah. Fred Remember Fred?
Hold on, hold on, let me go back Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You
know who he married who the Fred dude who Aubrey
Plaza, no, oh that's when it killed itself. No,
I don't know. I just made that up. I don't know
why Yeah, she did And that's important. Thank
you for saying that. That's important. This changes
things. No, no, no. You guys should have known
better. This is who we're going with right now.
Matthew Focus. Focus. Yep. There you go. He's
still cool, right? Oh, yeah, he's cool as hell
watch Fred. I watch this at night, man. Okay,
what? I mean watch Fred on I Watched it while
dude. I watched it when they aired man. I'm oh
gee. I watched it in 2010 Man watching my friends
from We were like six years old. He's still clicking
on this friend guy. That's a good movie. You
remember the videos where the dude got really
mad and he tried to put a controller up his butt?
They canceled his World of Warcraft. Yeah, that's
what it was, yeah. And he got so mad he had to
take it out on himself. Damn, was he successful?
A little bit. Yeah, he got the top going up.
You can see it going in. Yeah, that's where.
Yeah, he went to the top. He got it in a little
bit. How'd he get it out? Through the underwear,
though. Just a little bit. It was on YouTube.
And he didn't go full. It's still up there? No.
Yeah, you can jerk off. Nah, I'm good. I'm good.
He farts and it changes the channel. What year
was this? 2007. Oh, so it's like PlayStation
2? About 3? Is that how you measure time? Oh,
it's one Nintendo DS away. Oh, shit, it's PC,
right? TV remote. Yeah, like the satellite remote
you get you like you have a big one that happens
more than it should in this world. Yeah There's
a problem but uh, oh yeah, I've heard people
yeah people show stuff up there Yeah You can't
take it out to you gotta take it you gotta take
a bear wife and that was that's what most of
y 'all calls gonna be Yeah, get on that. It wouldn't
be the gay division of the ambulance. They got
me on gay duty this week. All butthole -related
crime. True. True. I don't think it's true. Oh,
no. What? What? You don't get put on gay duty.
No, no, nobody put you on that. Yeah, why'd you
say that? Whoa. I saw you talking about stuff
going up people's rear. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna
happen. Yeah, that's gonna happen. You gotta
hold their hand cuz you know you can't take it
out. Mm -hmm No, you're not No, you just gotta
transform with it Yeah, like you lay him on your
stomach on the back. Oh man, they taught you
that yet You're probably gonna have to put them
on the side. You're gonna have to put them on
the side. You're not supposed to put nobody prone
to them. Put them on the side. Okay, he has learned
some shit. There you go. Okay. Okay, man. You're
ready for the job. Hell yeah. Put them on the
side. That's all you probably need to know. So
why'd you choose to be a firefighter? I'm sure
you guys talked about this before, but... Oh
yeah, it's just something I've always looked
into and wanted to do and you know, there's a
lot of great benefits and it's helping people.
I get to help myself. I always imagined it was
down between that and like, Spaceman. I'm not
smart enough to go on space. Well, that's pretty
far away. I bet it could be fire -fighting. In
town, I'll do fire -fighting. Yeah, I remember
looking at others and I was like, eh, military
or that. But I was like, this is good because
I don't have to leave my family and stuff. There
you go. Stay on ground. It's perfect. You could
have went Space Force. Ooh. Did you take the
ASVAP? Huh? Have you took an ASVAP? No, not yet.
Not yet. I don't want to go to space, bro. That's
just to go to the military. Oh, no, dude, I have
not taken it. No, because I tell you, I'm working
on a fire friend. No, I'm just saying, it's just
the worst things you could take. Oh, just to
see how... Just a little quiz. Yeah, they'll
tell you all the jobs you can get. And you can
take it any time and just tell us what you got.
I'll tell you, I can bring mine out. I got my
paperwork, whatever. Sure, I mean, so just do
it to do it? Mm -hmm. Okay. It's just their case.
Fuck it. Mm -hmm. They're gonna convince you,
though. You let somebody else go with you. Dude,
I had a dude stalk me. Yeah, easy. I had a dude
stalk me. He kept coming to my house. He would,
like, call me everywhere I was at. I know I was
at the hospital. He'd be like, I remember one
time I was like, no, he's like, why? I was like,
just, yeah. Know if we're like joining the military?
Yeah, like, just kidding. He's like, well, I'm
like, no. And then when he found out, he found
out I like, like, doing, like, comedy and stuff.
And he was like, oh, wait, wait, hold on, man.
If you come, we could take you to Hawaii and
you could be an extra. You'd get a nice car.
And I was like, I'm good. Extra what? On something
commercial or something. Damn, dude. Have you
ever played NCAA football? He literally told
me, like, a commercial or something like that.
He's like, you could be an extra. You ever play
NCAA football in the game? Yes, I have. Yeah,
dude. He saw you. He's going to send the house.
You know what's crazy? You get all his recruitments.
You know what's crazy, though? I never met him
and he said, I knew you. He said, you know how?
And I was like, no, he said, because I used to
watch you like in the lunch room, like while
you were in the middle, while everybody else
was on the monkey bars and stuff, he would just
see me in the middle of the lunch room, just
chilling. We would see, I'd see you at that one
table. Yeah. Thanks to all those other guys.
Because he was like, yeah, I'll just be watching
you over there chilling. I was like, OK. And
he wants you to join the military, right? Yes.
He confirmed he's in the military as well? Yes.
OK. I'm looking out for him. So he went to school
with you? No, he didn't. What he would do is
he was a recruit that would come to the school.
Oh, and he just saw you sitting alone. And he
would just be watching you in the courthouse.
While everybody was doing, like, the workout
and stuff for it, he would just be standing there,
and he'd say, see me there. So where were you
sitting that he saw you dude? I would just be
sitting like a because they have like like a
round chair I just be sitting there talking a
couple people. Okay, so you have people you were
sitting with yeah Yeah, maybe he could have saw
when I like slam that dude in the mud Your potential
and then that yeah, maybe because I never I don't
know what happened I just put him on the mud
you slam them in the mud. Yeah, cuz he just kept
I forgot he was just all I'd be like messing
around. He's not gonna do nothing. Then I did
something for that baby, and they like why would
you do that? No, like because I put in the muzzle.
You had to walk around the class and mud all
over him. Oh, yeah Right should have been talking
shit. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's why we need to
bring bullying back cuz it makes look at me Brandon
say raw You have to be a fucking special forces
in firemen. All that shit together. They gonna
let you do firemen here and then do special forces.
Very special forces. That's hilarious. He be
like, he's so special, let's put him in the very
front. He can play the drums. He can play the
triangle. He's the conductor of death. Yeah man,
I sure did. You guys had, like, the recruiters
that would come to the luncheon, right? The pull
-up bar? Hell, fucking hell. I don't remember
the pull -up bar, but I've seen it before. You
would have the pull -up bar. Dude, yeah, they
would be at the pull -up bar, and everybody would
be just competing on it. They would bring a pull
-up bar to, like, if you got this many pull -ups,
you get a t -shirt. If you get this many, you
get, like, this water bottle keychain. Oh, okay,
okay. Now, the trend now on social media is the
kids in high school get up on the pull -up bar.
And do one pull up and do like a negative like
go really slow on the way down and just start
moaning. Oh my screaming gay shit All the people
holding it are like get off the board I would
have no choice but to laugh Making sex noises
He was in the ROTC like he was like military
is his life, bro Already and so when the lunch
we had different lunch periods, but like when
the bell would ring for his we were in the same
class He would stand up run out of the clasher
run all the way to the cafeteria and like breach
the doors He like kicked the double doors open
run straight to the pull -up bar rep out like
10 Did he end up going to the military? I have
no idea. They get into they're the worst to fucking
be around. They're gonna catch on everything
We call them high speeds, but I slow down cuz
you know that they're usually a little yeah You
know what I'm saying? They'll use a little off
a little bit in the head But they you know, they
want to be sold. Oh, we're all army and then
you'll be like, you know The sergeant is telling
you to sweep the fucking parking lot, you know
And so you're like bullshit. We have to sweep
all of this. You like shut the fuck up You know,
they're the worst. I'll tell you, they're the
worst and they will snitch on you. Like we're
in the fucking Coast Guard. You chill out a little
bit. They see you doing Koga when they go back
and tell the sergeant. Damn, man. Chill, man.
They're bitches. I'm high speed too. I'm high
speed too. Speaking of ROTC, man. I was hanging
out with my friend like in a EMS class and we
were like sitting outside and this dude walked
up from my old class and he went up to my friend
and he was like, oh, hey man, you were in ROTC,
right? And he was like, no, not really. He was
like, what are you in Marines? Like, no, why
would I be in this class? That's not me at all.
And I was like, hey man, I was in ROTC, you remember
me? And he looked me up and I was like, nah,
man. And then I looked over at him, I was like,
what the fuck? So he was just lying? No, because
he looked at me and he was like, man, this dude
ain't important. That's what I felt like. I was
like, you meant me right? He was like, nah. But
you knew him? You recognized the other guy who
said he didn't know you? I was like, dude, I
may have seen you, but I was just like, you didn't
have to say it like that. He was like, nah. He
just kept going to the other guy. I was just
there, bro. Damn, bro. I was like, damn, bro.
I'm still a little confused. I don't know you
at all, but I was trying to make light of the
situation. I was like, well, I wasn't that ROTC.
You remember you ever seen me like now? Anyways
You should have got him in the mud bro, I want
to know you like now man hit it with the farmers
carry Or the jump rope thing. That was a rustling
move too. Yeah. Yeah, it's a real it's a real
move. Mm -hmm But it helps you pick big people
up, so just remember, if I'm ever... You don't
have to knock down the walls, but you just...
Oh, no, I'm not knocking down the walls. You're
not that big. I was just joking, man. You're
not that big. You was just joking? Yeah, man.
You were like 800. You're not 800. What do you
think they have to do to get you out? He said,
are you? He said, probably not, right? He said,
for Pat? Yeah. And Pat's in this room right here.
How much does he weigh? You got two doorways
you have to get out of. And a narrow clock in
the narrow hallways. Yeah, the windows damn pat
they might have to Got to cut some things. Yeah,
probably the window though. Yeah, you probably
had to cut a little Yeah, maybe for that first
floor though first law We can do it well come
together and get something like there. They were
just saying they call like the He's got a worker,
but now they call something else the orca You
get them up like this you all come together and
get them out there with that Because if he was
on the second floor you'd have to like cut a
hole in the floor and dig him out of the crater.
I don't think he's getting on the stage. Alright,
that's the end of this episode. You got anything
going on, Bryce? I got a show next weekend at
Shenanigans. Come on down. The day, the Saturday.
It won't be out. Well, it happened and it went
pretty good. What else you got? Uh, it's about
to check out the podcast bryce and cypher show
gang gang every other week. Yes, sir Yeah, but
then we're gonna have we're gonna have a backup.
We're gonna have back up. It's coming, dude.
Don't worry. We got some bank It's gonna be so
good You knew your new fucking I told you uh
your new intro, uh, the dude I work with who's
he's who's severely autistic and i'll tell you
exactly It's good. Like when he watches he watches
my stand -up saying like he'll be like That's
not that that's not to he's right, you know,
that's not a joke and he's 100 % right and he
was like I like he's like I hate to say this
but I like the the Bryson sci -fi Okay, I like
the guy dude don't try to turn me on him Thanks
guys Thanks for watching! Hate Scrappy Doo.