WEBVTT

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this week on clown college in the empty hat i

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said last the next time i come up here i'm gonna

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have a gift for everybody um so i mean the I

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will show my, and I've had, I visualized me doing

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it, putting my balls into the camera. And in

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my dreams, it was this one. But if it has to

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be. No, no. We need a wide shot. The first episode

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is about dreams. Yeah. Let's make it come true.

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Let's fulfill your dreams. It's just for Bryce

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and fucking. Yeah. We have to wet this up. Yeah,

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man. Welcome to Clown College. We have profound

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knowledge in many ways to elevate and make your

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sound polished. So if you want to hear a little

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honest, a few takes on a way to make it as a

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comic, then stick around for a while. If you're

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down to clown, we've got a guest right now just

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to show you how. Let's all go to Clown College,

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baby. It's with Brandon, Taylor, Scott, and JJ.

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Let's all go to Clown College, baby. It's with

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Brandon Willis, Don and JJ. off with? Not the

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tail in the ass, though. Which tail would you

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start off with? Just the tail that you tie around

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and normal, man. Nothing goes in my ass. Would

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you do tail and ears? Are we getting a combo?

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Yeah. I mean, if you go all in, might as well

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go all the way. You might as well. What's the

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next step after that? Shoes, you think? Oh, yeah,

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the shoes. Oh, I believe. Then you graduate high

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school. When do you stop showering? Hmm? When

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do you stop taking showers? Wait, they don't

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shower? I feel like that's a gradual process,

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like, as you acclimate into this culture. I think

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the headpiece should be the crowning achievement.

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I feel like that's the last step. That's when

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you fully go. It's Brandon's birthday. We got

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you a little something. Happy birthday to you.

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Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Brandon.

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Happy birthday to you. Yeah. Happy birthday,

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man. You guys better finish that. All right?

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Hell yeah. He's going to be asleep before the

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episode. Thank you for the cheesecake. Look at

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that. I got a cheesecake. Yeah, yeah. Eat that

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cake. You like that one? Hell yeah. I love cheesecake.

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Eat that cake. Eat that cake. Eat that cake.

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There it is. So good. Hell yeah. Nice, man. Anybody

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want some? No, that's all. You want some? I'm

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okay. It's a birthday cake in there, too. For

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everybody. No, for sure. Happy birthday, Brandon.

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Thank you, man. What a time. Do you feel older?

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Yes, I do. I do feel old. I was a little heartbroken,

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man. I saw George Foreman died out with my favorite

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boxers. Yeah, at the end. Then John Cena broke

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up with me. How did that happen? Yeah, and on

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Raw, he said he was breaking up with everybody.

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You know, he turned heel. He turned heel? Yeah.

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What was that? Why did he do that? Why did he

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do that? Well, I don't know why he did that.

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They should have done that 10 years ago. I feel

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like that was kind of a dick move to leave us

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and turn to a bitch. Whoa. It's okay. It's all

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right. It's all right. Yeah, because, like, I've

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been hearing about this, Brandon. People are,

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like, upset about John Cena turning heel. Oh,

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yeah. I don't know what, like, I know what a

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heel is. I know what, like, he's, like, the bad

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guy now. He's never did it before, though. Yeah.

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Yeah. So the whole time, he's been in, like,

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30 years, something, 20, I don't know, a long

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time. You know what? We might as well say 30

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years. Yeah, he can't see me. My time is now.

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Yeah, he never was. Yeah. But I was at a store,

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an outlet. a fat, what's some shoes called for

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fat people? Hey dudes. So I was at the hey dude

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outlet and they got comfortable shoes. And then

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the woman there was like, yeah, John Cena turned

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heel. Nobody was talking about wrestling. Nobody.

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And she talked to me and Scott about, yeah, she

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could wrestle. She was of that stature. She could

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throw somebody around. I can guarantee you that.

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So, J -Win, do you know what happened? No. Is

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The Undertaker involved? I don't know. He was

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last year, but this year it was like he was out

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there. He was in the Elimination Chamber, and

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he won because of, you know. John Cena or The

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Undertaker? John Cena. John Cena, he's not in

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here yet. He might show up at WrestleMania. But

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what happened was like. Seth Rollins helped him

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out. Knocked out CM Punk. Busted his head on

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that thing. What's that thing called on Elimination

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Chamber? The ground. And as soon as he busted

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his head on the ground. I'm sorry. You're good,

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man. You're good. No, it's always called the

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ground. It's not just Elimination Chamber, Brandon.

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Busted his head on the ground. Once he won, the

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Rock came, like, Cody Rhodes came out. I was

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like, yeah, man, so we getting ready to fight

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for this championship. And he was hugging him.

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He's like, hell yeah, man, we're going to do

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this stuff. Hell yeah, man. We got this. This

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is pretty fake. And then the Rock came in there,

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and the Rock was like, oh, hey, man, how about

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you come over here and join my side, Cody Rhodes.

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And Cody Rhodes was like, man, fuck you. And

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what pissed me off was Travis Scott was there

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with him. And he had nothing. Because why? Yeah,

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he had nothing to do with it, right? Yeah. Yeah,

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so then he's like, nah, fuck you. man, I'm with

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the people. And then John Cena went haywire.

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Dude, I don't know if The Rock snapped his fingers

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or what, but he started whooping his ass horribly.

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Beating him with the microphone, the championship

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belt, everything. And then The Rock, they were

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holding him down and Travis Scott smacked him

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in the ear and fucked up everything because he

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really busted his ears down. He killed everybody,

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but yeah, he smacked him in the head and busted

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his ears down for real. And then The Rock pulled

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out a belt and started whooping Cody Rhodes with

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his belt and kept being like, huh? Huh? You like

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that? Boom, just kept beating him. And then,

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like, his dad's death was on there, too. You

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know, Dusty Rhodes, rest in peace. Old common

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boogeyman. And, yeah, they just beat the fuck

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out of him. He said his dad, what did you say

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he did to Dusty? Yeah, you remember Dusty Rhodes?

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Yeah, no, what did he do to him? Oh, he wrote

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his death on the belt that he was whooping his

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ass with and then took his blood and rubbed it

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on it. What? This was on WWE? That sounds like

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a ritual, yeah. Yeah, man. Well, they do eat

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children, all of them. Hey, you can talk about

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it. Now everybody's doing jokes saying that John

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Cena's like, fuck kids and fuck Make -A -Wish.

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Because he's turning heel. He's really doing

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it. No, he's turning heel. He's going all the

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way. He's like, fuck them kids. Yeah, because

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this is what he always really felt. Yeah. And

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now he's coming out there and they say he broke

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up with all of us. You know what? Fuck it, man.

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We all broke up with his ass anyways. Oh, so

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y 'all all feel this way. Yes. Yeah. Isn't that

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what's supposed to happen? I'll tell you what.

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When you said you all, I was wondering what group

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you were in. It's a brand name. Yeah. But, dude,

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I mean, it would have been fine if he did it

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10 years ago, but why are you doing it when you're

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about to leave, man? Like, you're about to walk

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out. He said his time is now. Like, he walks

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around with a shirt saying his time is now. Because

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that's how he really felt. This whole time he

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was with the Make -A -Wish kids. Why hide it?

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Standing with them until they die. He didn't

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want to do that shit. Damn. What's his move?

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Attitude adjustment. That's what he wanted to

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give them. Yeah, the attitude adjustment. And

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then, what is it? The STF? Yeah. The STF? He

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should have put a U with the STF. The five knuckle

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shuffle. Five knuckle shuffle. I didn't know

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for the longest time that I was talking about

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jerking off. What? The five knuckle shuffle.

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Really? Who says that, though? John Cena. Oh,

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wow. He did that when he turned heel, or has

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he just been saying that all the time? I think

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that's been at the beginning of his career when

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he was still majoring in economics. Oh, shit.

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I was doing that move, too. That was his whole

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thing at the beginning. Economics? No, yeah.

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Oh, yeah, when he was basically setting out rap

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and roasting people. We all do that. Who hasn't?

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Exactly, man. We all do that. Whether it's the

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furries or whether it's the whatever, normal

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people are. Exactly. Anti -make -a -wish. Pro

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-masturbation. Nothing wrong with that. There's

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nothing wrong with that. With both of those?

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Wait, no, no, the first part's bad, but you said

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pro -masturbation. Yeah. Oh, wait, my bad. That's

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not bad, though. Okay. That bad? It's good. Thank

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you, man. I think that's a good thing. What's

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your stance on Make -A -Wish? Make -A -Wish?

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Yeah. It's good. How was your experience? Oh,

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man, dude, you know, that was actually a fear

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of mine as a child. I was scared of getting on

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there. And I was just glad when I graduated that

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I didn't because I was like, that'd be crazy

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if I was like, everybody was like, Brandon. Did

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you get on what? Make -A -Wish? Yeah, like when

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I was a kid, I was worried. I was like, damn,

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man. Did you have an ailment? No. No, but I get

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what he's saying. I just didn't want to get cancer

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as a kid. Like, I was like, man, let me at least

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get old. Oh, you're saying so you won't. I mean,

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if the Make -A -Wish people pull up, it's not

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a good sign. It's not a good sign. It's like,

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oh, fuck, whatever. Yeah. So what would y 'all

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do? For Make -A -Wish? Yeah, if you were on it.

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Oh, when I was a kid, I would be able to go see

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Brad Farr or get behind the scenes of the Packers

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for sure. Ooh. Yeah. You? I would wish for something

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exuberant to test what this wish is really. Because,

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like, I don't want to meet. There's nobody that

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I want to meet. I want, like, a million dollars.

00:09:49.059 --> 00:09:50.720
Okay. A million dollars? That's actually smart.

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Pay for it. I want a scientist. I don't know.

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They can't do that for you. What are y 'all doing?

00:10:03.899 --> 00:10:15.610
Don't play with me. Come on. I want Kanye, bro.

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And I want him to bring one of his new shirts

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and we both wear it. And we're photographed together

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with the make -away sign. What does it care for

00:10:24.570 --> 00:10:27.490
you? You're about to die. Might as well go out

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on top. Or maybe like Sarah J. Hell yeah, man.

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They have to approve it, I think. I think a Make

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-A -Wish kid did wish to lose his virginity one

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time. And they said no, right? No, I don't know

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if it went through the org, but it ended up happening.

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But how could you give a kid a grown woman? You

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know what I mean? I mean, just, you know. There's

00:10:58.179 --> 00:10:59.559
no way you could have just another kid. It's

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like how you pay off a referee and look away.

00:11:02.700 --> 00:11:05.299
Exactly. I was thinking it, and you said it.

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That's what I was thinking. True. That is true.

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Damn. I agree. My friend had cancer as a kid,

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and he met. He did make a wish. He met Led Zeppelin

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and Stephen Colbert. Holy shit. He got two wishes?

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Yeah, he got two. Yeah, this little trickster.

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Shout out William White. Hell yeah, William.

00:11:27.029 --> 00:11:30.830
He did it right. Yeah. Brandon said he did it

00:11:30.830 --> 00:11:32.429
right. He actually did. He did it the best because

00:11:32.429 --> 00:11:35.960
he lived. Yeah, he made it. Did you say what

00:11:35.960 --> 00:11:38.720
you would do? Oh, man, dude. I know that you

00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:40.200
can say one, but, dude, I'm going to try. I'm

00:11:40.200 --> 00:11:42.720
about to die. I'd be like, man, how about take

00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:45.039
me to WrestleMania? Of course, lose my virginity,

00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:46.580
too. As a kid, I didn't have nothing, so we'd

00:11:46.580 --> 00:11:48.799
lose my virginity, go to the strip club. And

00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:50.620
then after that, I'd be like, let's go see some

00:11:50.620 --> 00:11:52.379
directing movies. Let me see some comedy shows.

00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:56.460
Then let me go see a UFC fight. We'd have a full

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course meal. It's the last holiday. Then you

00:12:00.899 --> 00:12:02.440
give me that girl I lost my virginity to as a

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child and then we just go look at the lights

00:12:03.919 --> 00:12:10.460
on the mountains. That's the perfect day. And

00:12:10.460 --> 00:12:16.929
I get the Nobel Peace Prize. For what? For being

00:12:16.929 --> 00:12:23.250
alive. Being alive. I didn't know that was an

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option. That's hard. There's not a lot of people

00:12:27.789 --> 00:12:33.090
that can say that. It might not all work. I'm

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about to die. Mother Teresa, Brandon. That's

00:12:37.570 --> 00:12:39.809
probably the best wish I've ever heard. Nobel

00:12:39.809 --> 00:12:45.250
Peace Prize? That's what's up. That's what's

00:12:45.250 --> 00:12:49.149
up. Too late now. I didn't even think about that

00:12:49.149 --> 00:12:55.529
as an option. I might change my answer. Jalen.

00:12:55.929 --> 00:12:58.590
What's up? Welcome back, baby. Hey, what's up,

00:12:58.590 --> 00:13:01.330
guys? I love y 'all. Where the fuck you been?

00:13:01.509 --> 00:13:03.429
I've been in New Hampshire. I've been in Lincoln,

00:13:03.529 --> 00:13:06.309
New Hampshire. What a place. Very white place.

00:13:06.730 --> 00:13:09.330
Because it's snow. Because of all the snow. And

00:13:09.330 --> 00:13:17.070
the people. It was very snowy, too. How many

00:13:17.070 --> 00:13:19.730
others did you see? How many others did I see?

00:13:20.129 --> 00:13:22.409
Just any kind of other. Any kind of other? I

00:13:22.409 --> 00:13:24.669
was working at the Ice Castles, which is a very

00:13:24.669 --> 00:13:29.009
big attraction of people. It attracts, attractor

00:13:29.009 --> 00:13:32.370
of people. And I saw a lot of Indians. I was

00:13:32.370 --> 00:13:33.750
talking to Alex about that. There was a whole

00:13:33.750 --> 00:13:35.389
bunch of Indians that came from, they weren't

00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:37.830
local. They weren't, they didn't live there.

00:13:37.870 --> 00:13:40.129
People came from all over the world to see the

00:13:40.129 --> 00:13:43.250
Ice Castle that I was working at. But yeah, I

00:13:43.250 --> 00:13:46.129
saw black people. And it was always an occasion

00:13:46.129 --> 00:13:48.309
whenever I saw a black person. They would always,

00:13:48.389 --> 00:13:51.000
if I saw a black person, I'd be like, I'd be

00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:53.179
holding the staff. I'd be the line leader, greeting

00:13:53.179 --> 00:13:55.580
everybody as they come in. Whenever I saw a black

00:13:55.580 --> 00:13:59.360
person, they'd be like, hold up. Hey, what's

00:13:59.360 --> 00:14:01.279
up? Hey, okay. I'd be like, hey, how you doing?

00:14:01.299 --> 00:14:03.100
Welcome to the Ice Council. How you doing? And

00:14:03.100 --> 00:14:04.720
they'd be like, oh, I'm doing much better now

00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:08.039
that I see they got one of us up here. All right.

00:14:08.460 --> 00:14:10.580
It would always be something. So I saw black

00:14:10.580 --> 00:14:14.000
people. Black people came. Of course, white people.

00:14:15.450 --> 00:14:17.330
It was like you had New Hampshire people that

00:14:17.330 --> 00:14:19.450
were local, but then you had, like, people from

00:14:19.450 --> 00:14:22.590
Boston. And I just love, like, the accent in

00:14:22.590 --> 00:14:25.629
Boston. Like, it sounds so silly. Can you do

00:14:25.629 --> 00:14:29.909
it now? It's like the car. Look at the car, Lois.

00:14:30.049 --> 00:14:33.129
People are named Lois. People are named Lois

00:14:33.129 --> 00:14:39.789
up there. It's crazy. Yeah, like wild. Yeah,

00:14:39.830 --> 00:14:42.830
fun accent. Very rude. People from Boston are

00:14:42.830 --> 00:14:45.950
rude. I don't know if that's a large generalization

00:14:45.950 --> 00:14:48.389
that I can just spell. But when I was working

00:14:48.389 --> 00:14:51.529
at Ice Castle, it was Boss Mass Week. It was

00:14:51.529 --> 00:14:53.269
like their vacation, their spring break or something

00:14:53.269 --> 00:14:55.370
like that. Everybody came up to the Ice Castles.

00:14:55.730 --> 00:14:57.870
It was like people were coming up there drunk.

00:14:59.449 --> 00:15:03.610
Now I'm kind of just ranting. But no, New Hampshire's

00:15:03.610 --> 00:15:05.690
cool as hell. The people are nice. I saw others.

00:15:05.850 --> 00:15:08.570
There were races mixed in. But I don't know.

00:15:08.649 --> 00:15:12.269
In the town, it was just white people. But at

00:15:12.269 --> 00:15:15.450
the place where I was at, it was... Diverse.

00:15:15.490 --> 00:15:17.730
You felt safe there. I felt safe. I felt safe,

00:15:17.870 --> 00:15:22.309
yeah. See, Trump is doing his job. This is how

00:15:22.309 --> 00:15:25.269
we can get all of America, all right? It was

00:15:25.269 --> 00:15:28.529
a very mountainous region. I liked that. It was,

00:15:28.570 --> 00:15:31.710
like, cool, wide expanse. You're out there in

00:15:31.710 --> 00:15:33.129
nature. It's a pretty cool place. Do you do any

00:15:33.129 --> 00:15:37.460
good hikes? No hikes. I was chilling, smoking

00:15:37.460 --> 00:15:42.340
weed and shit. It was cool to look at the mountains

00:15:42.340 --> 00:15:46.519
and shit around. I told you I got a boy up there.

00:15:46.580 --> 00:15:49.340
He's a sheriff. But he's my boy, so he'll let

00:15:49.340 --> 00:15:51.279
you off on anything. I don't say his name, but

00:15:51.279 --> 00:15:55.840
whenever you go back, clean whistle. He owes

00:15:55.840 --> 00:15:58.539
me. He shows me every time he beats a black.

00:16:00.059 --> 00:16:02.309
So I have a lot of... I have a lot of footage

00:16:02.309 --> 00:16:07.049
on my phone. All my shit be above the board,

00:16:07.110 --> 00:16:10.669
dog. You don't got to worry about me, man. I'm

00:16:10.669 --> 00:16:13.870
going to be good. I'm going to be cool. Just

00:16:13.870 --> 00:16:17.230
get an olive leaf and a branch. Good to know.

00:16:17.289 --> 00:16:19.610
Good to know. Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah, man.

00:16:19.870 --> 00:16:22.789
You see any new animals? Any new animals? No,

00:16:23.009 --> 00:16:26.669
Brandon. No new animals on this particular one.

00:16:29.840 --> 00:16:32.059
I don't think they were. It was very cold. It

00:16:32.059 --> 00:16:34.259
got in the negatives. So I don't know what would

00:16:34.259 --> 00:16:37.279
be living in that region. Moose? No moose. There

00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:39.759
are the signs for moose crosses. Maybe different

00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:43.220
seasons or whatever. But yeah, in the winter,

00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:45.639
nothing. I didn't see anything. My new favorite

00:16:45.639 --> 00:16:48.740
animal lives in the snow. What is it? It's called

00:16:48.740 --> 00:16:54.279
an ermine, I think. It's like a stoat, but it's

00:16:54.279 --> 00:16:56.840
a regional stoat. What the fuck is that? It's

00:16:56.840 --> 00:17:00.799
like a ferret. Oh, okay. A cold weather ferret?

00:17:00.860 --> 00:17:04.579
Cold Arctic ferret. But smaller. That does remind

00:17:04.579 --> 00:17:07.900
me, JJ, I do have a new animal. I found a white

00:17:07.900 --> 00:17:10.099
marten. I don't know what that is. White marten?

00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:12.420
A white marten. That's what they call it. Let

00:17:12.420 --> 00:17:14.900
me save this real quick. You said a white marten?

00:17:14.940 --> 00:17:16.839
A white marten. It probably looks like that.

00:17:16.900 --> 00:17:18.579
It's probably like the same thing. That shit's

00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:21.140
fire, dude. It's kind of like what I saw, but

00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:22.559
the guy called it a white marten. Thanks for

00:17:22.559 --> 00:17:24.650
saving that, Brandon. Hold on. Oh, it's already?

00:17:24.849 --> 00:17:28.130
Fuck it, we'll replace it. Come on. Alright,

00:17:28.170 --> 00:17:31.609
so you said a white Martin? It probably looks

00:17:31.609 --> 00:17:37.430
the exact same. Maybe a little smaller. The fuck

00:17:37.430 --> 00:17:40.410
a superhero? Hold on, man. That's white Martian.

00:17:44.349 --> 00:17:46.990
You talking about this right here? It was something

00:17:46.990 --> 00:17:49.210
like that, yeah. Here's a better one. Here's

00:17:49.210 --> 00:17:51.450
a cuter one. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like

00:17:51.450 --> 00:17:54.710
the same thing. Yeah, probably, yeah. Nice. Yeah,

00:17:54.769 --> 00:17:57.450
that's nice. Yeah, let's save that. Fuck yeah,

00:17:57.470 --> 00:17:59.490
dude. If I was going to be a furry, that'd be

00:17:59.490 --> 00:18:02.809
my fursona. You pull up in a furry place like

00:18:02.809 --> 00:18:05.450
that. One of the stoats. Is that like the same

00:18:05.450 --> 00:18:07.369
thing that you are? Yeah, you're basically just

00:18:07.369 --> 00:18:12.700
like a long penis. Like a furry. Penis. Like

00:18:12.700 --> 00:18:19.319
a puppy dog. Oh. Hell yeah. Same thing. I'll

00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:25.670
save that too. Why not? Hell yeah. Okay. Brandon

00:18:25.670 --> 00:18:27.710
is just looking up stuff over here. Is that a

00:18:27.710 --> 00:18:29.470
clock? I don't even know what that is. Connect

00:18:29.470 --> 00:18:32.109
the dots? But he's like, I'll save this. He's

00:18:32.109 --> 00:18:35.049
talking to himself. I like how vague that one

00:18:35.049 --> 00:18:37.069
is. No one else knows what's going on in this

00:18:37.069 --> 00:18:40.450
room. I heard you went up to Canada, dude. I

00:18:40.450 --> 00:18:42.170
went up to Canada, yeah. China of the West, they

00:18:42.170 --> 00:18:46.029
call it. I went to Montreal. My motto was the,

00:18:46.109 --> 00:18:49.369
well, never mind. No, it wasn't. The mop think,

00:18:49.490 --> 00:18:54.150
but the... What? Never mind. No, I'm drunk. I'm

00:18:54.150 --> 00:18:56.470
drunk and spouting nonsense, guys. I'm tripping

00:18:56.470 --> 00:19:00.569
over myself. Yeah, Montreal is really cool. Shit,

00:19:00.690 --> 00:19:02.509
hell yeah. Isn't that where Bret Hart's from?

00:19:03.250 --> 00:19:06.170
Where who? Bret Hart. Bret Hart, sure. That's

00:19:06.170 --> 00:19:09.210
a wrestler. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Sharp shooter.

00:19:09.329 --> 00:19:12.250
You didn't go to Toronto at all? Not Toronto.

00:19:12.569 --> 00:19:15.769
Do they have the same slang, though? No, it was

00:19:15.769 --> 00:19:17.990
French. Montreal is very French. So it was people

00:19:17.990 --> 00:19:19.809
talking French and I was being a menace in the

00:19:19.809 --> 00:19:22.710
streets. I was just doing, I was like, this is

00:19:22.710 --> 00:19:29.089
me in Montreal. Hell yeah, man. I was up there

00:19:29.089 --> 00:19:32.190
doing, because I felt free to do that because

00:19:32.190 --> 00:19:34.789
Canada doesn't feel like a real place. You go

00:19:34.789 --> 00:19:36.509
up there, all the people don't feel real. It

00:19:36.509 --> 00:19:39.730
feels like NPCs. You can do anything to them.

00:19:40.049 --> 00:19:43.230
Please don't, but that's how I felt when I was

00:19:43.230 --> 00:19:45.119
walking down the street. It just felt really,

00:19:45.160 --> 00:19:49.799
like, safe. I felt safe. And, yeah. And I don't

00:19:49.799 --> 00:19:51.920
know if that's, like, just an American arrogance.

00:19:52.579 --> 00:19:54.579
But, like, I was walking through there. I was

00:19:54.579 --> 00:19:57.339
like, these people can't do anything to me. Yeah,

00:19:57.480 --> 00:20:00.819
it doesn't feel like a real place at all. Maybe

00:20:00.819 --> 00:20:03.839
you should call the army, dude. Dude, maybe you

00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:05.779
should be our 51st state. Yeah, that's what I'm

00:20:05.779 --> 00:20:11.400
saying. You have to get Puerto Rico first. Puerto

00:20:11.400 --> 00:20:14.759
Rico should be our... Brady, 51st step, 52nd.

00:20:14.940 --> 00:20:16.900
I don't know. I kind of want Cuba back a little

00:20:16.900 --> 00:20:19.660
bit, dude. I don't know what she was going on

00:20:19.660 --> 00:20:23.220
down there. I do fuck with Cuba. Good cars. They

00:20:23.220 --> 00:20:25.119
do? What kind of cars? Oh, man, I got the car

00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:28.059
from the 50s. My favorite. Which one? The Chevy

00:20:28.059 --> 00:20:29.940
Bel Air. The Bel Air? Yeah. Oh, that's a Cuban

00:20:29.940 --> 00:20:32.589
car? Oh, well, yeah, now. They did that when

00:20:32.589 --> 00:20:34.829
the Cuban Missile Crisis was going on. Man, let

00:20:34.829 --> 00:20:37.670
me show you this. He's flexing that history mind

00:20:37.670 --> 00:20:38.809
muscle. Look at that. You know what I'm saying?

00:20:39.029 --> 00:20:40.710
Look at that. I'm up here hitting up J .J. That's

00:20:40.710 --> 00:20:43.750
a good car. What'd you say? No, what'd you say?

00:20:43.910 --> 00:20:45.789
I said, that's a good car. Oh, yeah, that's a

00:20:45.789 --> 00:20:47.390
badass car. You see those around here on those

00:20:47.390 --> 00:20:50.690
car shows? Yeah. What's that breakfast at? Cars

00:20:50.690 --> 00:20:53.690
and Coffee. Yeah, Cars and Coffee. You ain't

00:20:53.690 --> 00:20:55.690
ever been there? I haven't, yeah. Cars and Coffee,

00:20:55.769 --> 00:21:00.069
okay. Old white guy. No, that looks like a classic

00:21:00.069 --> 00:21:02.849
car. One of my dream cars, man. Hell yeah. I

00:21:02.849 --> 00:21:04.329
could see you in that. Oh, yeah, Brandon. You're

00:21:04.329 --> 00:21:06.710
going to get that one day. One day. You're going

00:21:06.710 --> 00:21:08.009
to save somebody's life, and then they're going

00:21:08.009 --> 00:21:10.630
to say, you can have my Bel Air that I know you

00:21:10.630 --> 00:21:12.589
always wanted. And I'll be like, damn, man. I

00:21:12.589 --> 00:21:13.970
didn't know you knew me like that, but thank

00:21:13.970 --> 00:21:15.670
you. Where the keys at? They've been watching.

00:21:15.670 --> 00:21:18.029
You saved his life, man. Yes, I have. I heard

00:21:18.029 --> 00:21:19.869
you're going to be a firefighter. Yep, yep. Working

00:21:19.869 --> 00:21:22.069
on EMS. Yeah, man. That's what's up. And then

00:21:22.069 --> 00:21:23.390
I'm in truck twice. That's nice. Yeah, Brandon.

00:21:23.670 --> 00:21:27.960
I'm in truck. Yeah. Yeah, we out here. Hell yeah,

00:21:28.019 --> 00:21:31.339
man. Brandon, if I ever call the fire department,

00:21:31.619 --> 00:21:33.900
you have to come, dude. Oh, dude, once a man,

00:21:33.900 --> 00:21:36.160
I'll come. I will refuse service. Yeah. I'll

00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:40.359
come for you once a man. What do you want them

00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:41.940
to do once they get a fire, once they become

00:21:41.940 --> 00:21:44.640
a fireman? I want you to stop a fire. I will.

00:21:44.680 --> 00:21:47.180
Yeah. We'll stop that fire, man. You should do

00:21:47.180 --> 00:21:51.460
those competitions on ESPN7. Oh, yeah. The ladders.

00:21:51.579 --> 00:21:55.440
Yeah. They have the ones where they throw them

00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:57.880
up in the window, they go up, they get the doll,

00:21:58.039 --> 00:21:59.839
and they come back down. You should do that.

00:21:59.900 --> 00:22:03.259
Do y 'all got to climb the rope? No, I haven't

00:22:03.259 --> 00:22:05.460
heard about that yet. Did you get to slide down

00:22:05.460 --> 00:22:07.380
the pole? Nah, because I haven't gotten to the

00:22:07.380 --> 00:22:09.259
fire yet. I'm just in EMS right now. He's in

00:22:09.259 --> 00:22:11.339
EMS and then he goes to the fire class. Yeah,

00:22:11.339 --> 00:22:13.730
once they... start hiring i get to apply but

00:22:13.730 --> 00:22:15.869
you can do the ems right off the bat oh yeah

00:22:15.869 --> 00:22:18.690
yeah once you graduate i think they should have

00:22:18.690 --> 00:22:21.990
like a fireman pole in every office setting any

00:22:21.990 --> 00:22:24.859
work setting They should have that so when you're

00:22:24.859 --> 00:22:27.980
ready to go, it adds something to it. Yeah, like

00:22:27.980 --> 00:22:31.900
the Wiggles. That's your workplace. It's fun.

00:22:31.940 --> 00:22:34.779
It's whimsical. I love the Wiggles when I was

00:22:34.779 --> 00:22:38.559
a kid. Me too. They kind of threw me off guard

00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:39.839
back then. I don't know. There was something

00:22:39.839 --> 00:22:41.680
weird about them. Yeah, my grandparents always

00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:45.319
said they were gay. I don't know. Let's go to

00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:48.700
original. These are kind of new. This is what

00:22:48.700 --> 00:22:50.700
y 'all talking about? This is a new Teletubbies

00:22:50.700 --> 00:22:52.380
or some shit? You've never heard of the Wiggles?

00:22:52.329 --> 00:22:53.230
Wiggles? I don't know what the fuck this is.

00:22:53.230 --> 00:22:54.650
You never heard of, like, fruit salad, yummy,

00:22:54.690 --> 00:22:57.650
yummy? That guy in the bottom is very scary looking,

00:22:57.829 --> 00:22:59.930
bro. Start screen recording. Start screen recording.

00:23:00.109 --> 00:23:01.589
Hold on. Huh? How have you never heard of the

00:23:01.589 --> 00:23:05.319
Wiggles, dog? Dude. I would never. This is crazy.

00:23:05.319 --> 00:23:08.140
Okay, that's fair. That's fair. I was just saying

00:23:08.140 --> 00:23:10.180
that. But I watch Barney in the Teletubbies,

00:23:10.200 --> 00:23:12.039
though. Really? But this seems worse than that.

00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:15.059
Because they have faces. You know what I mean?

00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:17.000
These are real. But they're British. No, they're

00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:20.039
British. Oh, they're British? Yeah. Wait, how

00:23:20.039 --> 00:23:21.279
old were you in 2003? They might be Australian.

00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:26.839
Australian. I was like 14 or something. Oh, you

00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:28.559
were 14? That makes sense. Australian was like

00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:32.630
a jingle, right? Yeah. Prison what? Australia

00:23:32.630 --> 00:23:35.029
was just a big jail one time. Oh, dude, yeah.

00:23:35.109 --> 00:23:36.309
If you were bad, they'd be like, send them to

00:23:36.309 --> 00:23:38.130
Australia. If you were in a lot of debt, they'd

00:23:38.130 --> 00:23:41.809
send you over there just to rot. Not a bad place,

00:23:41.809 --> 00:23:44.849
though. Who did? Us or the British? The British.

00:23:45.309 --> 00:23:46.829
Well, you know, they had some questionable. Dude,

00:23:46.869 --> 00:23:49.210
imagine if we got Australia. It's not that bad,

00:23:49.210 --> 00:23:54.559
man. The whole continent. jail send them over

00:23:54.559 --> 00:23:57.099
there but they sent them to like a paradise though

00:23:57.099 --> 00:24:00.180
yeah like britain's weather fucking sucks it's

00:24:00.180 --> 00:24:03.720
always like cloudy and rainy and cold they got

00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:05.740
beaches and sea monsters and shit and then they

00:24:05.740 --> 00:24:07.579
just went over there and became the most beautiful

00:24:07.579 --> 00:24:10.640
people oh my gosh yes who the australians yeah

00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:12.500
they're the most beautiful whites really between

00:24:12.500 --> 00:24:15.240
them and like the scandinavian the sweets Yeah.

00:24:15.359 --> 00:24:17.420
The Swedes are some fucking beautiful whites.

00:24:17.619 --> 00:24:19.839
I think the Australians will be exciting whites.

00:24:20.019 --> 00:24:22.900
Give it to Australia. The best thing Sweden ever

00:24:22.900 --> 00:24:26.259
did was high -powered gin. What? You know what

00:24:26.259 --> 00:24:28.180
I mean? They have those really high -powered

00:24:28.180 --> 00:24:32.019
gin pouches. Of snus? Yeah. Snus. Oh, they pack

00:24:32.019 --> 00:24:34.099
that shit up the nose, though. Yeah. They get

00:24:34.099 --> 00:24:37.200
like a 50 milligram pouch. They get it just to

00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:40.680
the dome. Like a 135 pound white woman named

00:24:40.680 --> 00:24:43.140
Vanna just sitting there with two of them in.

00:24:44.140 --> 00:24:48.660
That's almost more American than we are. As much

00:24:48.660 --> 00:24:54.539
as it pains me to say. You can't scoff at it,

00:24:54.599 --> 00:24:57.000
man. They're doing the Lord's work over there.

00:24:57.960 --> 00:25:02.359
They don't believe. Who needs to believe, though?

00:25:02.910 --> 00:25:05.309
You guys believe? You believe in the higher power?

00:25:05.470 --> 00:25:06.549
Who do you think made that ice castle, dude?

00:25:06.549 --> 00:25:10.869
I believe. Exactly. It was God. Yeah. Yeah. So,

00:25:10.950 --> 00:25:14.410
with, like, the whole thing about the Ark, you

00:25:14.410 --> 00:25:16.589
guys believe that shit? Mm -hmm. Noah's Ark.

00:25:16.589 --> 00:25:19.049
Noah's Ark. Two of every animal. Didn't they

00:25:19.049 --> 00:25:22.250
find it? They found a fucking big boat. You know

00:25:22.250 --> 00:25:27.109
what I mean? Carbon dating. They carbon dated

00:25:27.109 --> 00:25:32.490
it. You know what they didn't find? Any of the

00:25:32.490 --> 00:25:35.930
transatlantic. Holy shit. Look, there it is.

00:25:36.849 --> 00:25:40.670
I mean, if that's not evidence, I don't know

00:25:40.670 --> 00:25:42.609
what is. That's not a big enough boat for two

00:25:42.609 --> 00:26:04.849
of every fucking thing. That's when they went

00:26:04.849 --> 00:26:11.059
extinct right there It is. Probably Noah made

00:26:11.059 --> 00:26:13.660
the boat, and they wrote in the Bible it was

00:26:13.660 --> 00:26:15.700
four of every animal because the ones that didn't

00:26:15.700 --> 00:26:19.140
get on are no longer animals. So it had to be

00:26:19.140 --> 00:26:21.299
four of every animal. They didn't have to get

00:26:21.299 --> 00:26:23.660
any aquatic animals on there. Exactly. Or any

00:26:23.660 --> 00:26:28.339
birds. Exactly. They're chilling. They're flying.

00:26:28.599 --> 00:26:31.279
You don't think the birds would have fell out

00:26:31.279 --> 00:26:33.599
the sky with all the rain and nothing to sit

00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:36.160
on? Yeah. Well, they can just chill on the water,

00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:38.220
right? Huh? On a boat? They can chill on the

00:26:38.220 --> 00:26:40.319
water? No, they were on the boat, too. Surf a

00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:42.240
little bit? Yeah. They were flying around on

00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:44.400
the boat. Just one boat for all fucking birds

00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:46.960
or whatever's fucking flying. Whatever's fucking

00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:50.339
flying. They got mammals that fly, too, so. Name

00:26:50.339 --> 00:26:53.319
a flying mammal. A bat, you bitch. Yeah, a bat.

00:26:53.500 --> 00:26:55.680
Suck on it. I want you to fucking suck on it

00:26:55.680 --> 00:26:58.500
right now. Suck it up. Bats, bitch. That's it.

00:27:01.379 --> 00:27:03.720
That's bitch. That's justice. That's a shirt.

00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:12.819
It's a nice looking boat. I can't argue with

00:27:12.819 --> 00:27:16.119
that. It's sound knowledge. So from here on out,

00:27:16.140 --> 00:27:19.279
everything I say is probably true. You don't

00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:22.220
need to even look it up. Damn, man. That boat

00:27:22.220 --> 00:27:24.480
looks good, though. It does. You know what it

00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:26.539
looks like, man? What's that? I know what it

00:27:26.539 --> 00:27:28.619
looks like. You know what it looks like. It looks

00:27:28.619 --> 00:27:34.640
like something you rub. Caught a clit. Did you

00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:36.400
say that's what a bat looks like? No, not the

00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:38.279
bat. I'm talking about the boat, man. Oh, yeah.

00:27:39.019 --> 00:27:42.700
But I was like, I was going under that and I

00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:44.180
thought a bat kind of looked like a clit. Or

00:27:44.180 --> 00:27:46.000
like a bat that looks like a vagina. Well, let's

00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:48.920
find out. Let's find out. It does. It does. He's

00:27:48.920 --> 00:27:50.819
right. Brandon's right on this. It does look

00:27:50.819 --> 00:27:54.119
like a vagina. Doesn't that make you believe

00:27:54.119 --> 00:27:57.420
it more? Come on, yeah, the top of the head.

00:27:57.519 --> 00:27:59.539
I don't know about the back. Yeah, I don't either.

00:28:01.259 --> 00:28:03.420
Jalen, you might be on your own. Come on. You've

00:28:03.420 --> 00:28:04.880
never seen it? That right there? You guys have

00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:07.079
never seen a vagina. You guys don't have sex.

00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:13.339
That looks exactly like a vagina. Try to crawl

00:28:13.339 --> 00:28:18.099
out one. Who sees one of those and is like, hmm.

00:28:18.900 --> 00:28:28.359
I'm hungry. We know who. Damn. They started this.

00:28:28.359 --> 00:28:31.000
That's why you were sick last week. That was

00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:35.460
not COVID, dude. That was extended cold, bro.

00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:43.299
We'll do it again. Oh my gosh. I just want to

00:28:43.299 --> 00:28:46.359
say this has been burning. That's not what I

00:28:46.359 --> 00:28:49.980
want to say. The last time I was here, I said

00:28:49.980 --> 00:28:52.259
I was going to bring a gift. I have showed up

00:28:52.259 --> 00:28:56.619
empty handed. I will show my balls into the camera.

00:28:56.980 --> 00:29:01.259
What do I need to do to atone? What did he say?

00:29:01.319 --> 00:29:06.019
He said, really? I will. I've had dreams about

00:29:06.019 --> 00:29:08.920
it. I'll show my balls into the camera. I was

00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:11.819
like, if I go up, here and then they asked me

00:29:11.819 --> 00:29:13.859
on the pod and then if I don't have anything

00:29:13.859 --> 00:29:15.339
because I was thinking about like what do I get

00:29:15.339 --> 00:29:17.539
something but I ended up not doing it because

00:29:17.539 --> 00:29:19.680
I didn't think that was gonna happen but now

00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:21.619
I'm here I'm showed up in the empty hat I said

00:29:21.619 --> 00:29:23.660
last the next time I come up here I'm gonna have

00:29:23.660 --> 00:29:28.029
a gift for everybody so I mean the I will show

00:29:28.029 --> 00:29:32.230
my, and I've had, I visualized me doing it, putting

00:29:32.230 --> 00:29:35.630
my balls into the camera. And in my dreams, it

00:29:35.630 --> 00:29:38.190
was this one. But if it has to be. No, no, no.

00:29:38.930 --> 00:29:42.289
We need a wide shot. The first episode is about

00:29:42.289 --> 00:29:44.890
dreams. Yeah. Let's fucking, let's fulfill your

00:29:44.890 --> 00:29:47.710
dreams. It's just for Bryce and fucking Dan.

00:29:48.470 --> 00:29:51.150
Who have to, who have to wet this up? Yeah, man,

00:29:51.230 --> 00:29:54.289
I'll get out. Oh, Brandon's about to get in there.

00:29:54.289 --> 00:30:03.049
Oh, Brandon in there. He did it, Bryce? He did

00:30:03.049 --> 00:30:06.509
it? Did he do it? I'm sorry, man. Oh, my God.

00:30:06.630 --> 00:30:09.029
That's when Alex bust out the first show. Oh,

00:30:09.029 --> 00:30:11.230
my God. I saw Alex do it. Freaky ass. I've been

00:30:11.230 --> 00:30:18.410
waiting for this. Oh, my God. Freaky ass. Jeez.

00:30:20.210 --> 00:30:24.289
Does that work? Are y 'all happy? Y 'all got

00:30:24.289 --> 00:30:28.289
my balls. Hold on. That's going to be very valuable.

00:30:32.059 --> 00:30:35.160
I was going to ask that. I'm so excited we have

00:30:35.160 --> 00:30:39.259
that. Yeah, me too, man. Yeah, I didn't know

00:30:39.259 --> 00:30:40.920
you were going that way. That's what I thought

00:30:40.920 --> 00:30:42.160
in my dreams, and I promise you. I did not see

00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:44.480
you going that way. I promised that's what I

00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:49.160
thought in my dreams. I promise you. Oh, my God.

00:30:49.339 --> 00:30:51.160
I'm glad you fulfilled your dreams, man. I closed

00:30:51.160 --> 00:30:54.319
my eyes. Brandon, you closed your eyes? I love

00:30:54.319 --> 00:30:58.180
you. Yes, I did. I thought you were joking. I

00:30:58.180 --> 00:30:59.960
like how that was also like halfway through the

00:30:59.960 --> 00:31:06.599
episode. You gotta watch it. Hell yeah. Most

00:31:06.599 --> 00:31:11.299
replayed on YouTube. Somebody making their screensaver,

00:31:11.380 --> 00:31:13.920
that'd be crazy. He's already coming up with

00:31:13.920 --> 00:31:19.500
ideas. When you first brought it up, there was

00:31:19.500 --> 00:31:24.279
a flicker of real anger in Brandon. Shit's gay,

00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:29.299
dude. I don't like it. I don't like it. Hey,

00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:31.559
man, we're out here. Dude, that's your dream.

00:31:31.640 --> 00:31:33.740
Go for it, man. You do what you want to do, man.

00:31:33.799 --> 00:31:38.220
It's clown college. We goof. Show your balls,

00:31:38.420 --> 00:31:44.039
man. The first anatomy class. And Bernie, you

00:31:44.039 --> 00:31:45.460
said you were going to do that anyway once you

00:31:45.460 --> 00:31:49.839
graduate. What? Show my balls? No. What? Looking

00:31:49.839 --> 00:31:51.279
in my ass for my hemorrhoids. Oh, yeah, man,

00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:53.440
I told you, spread them open. Look at your little,

00:31:53.539 --> 00:31:55.140
yeah, you said, what was it right there, the

00:31:55.140 --> 00:31:57.299
balls or the hemorrhoids? I didn't say the balls.

00:31:57.400 --> 00:31:59.740
It's just the hemis. The balls. Is that what

00:31:59.740 --> 00:32:00.980
you're saying, balls? Yeah, the balls. Yeah,

00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:02.779
the balls and the hemorrhoids. Yeah, we'll see

00:32:02.779 --> 00:32:06.059
what's going on. Not balls. Nah, man, you got

00:32:06.059 --> 00:32:07.680
no issue with those. But he said right at graduation,

00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:10.279
he'll just. That's what's up. Can you imagine

00:32:10.279 --> 00:32:12.500
Brandon with, like, a welding mask on? Yeah.

00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:17.390
He's shoddering. Got some gloves on and stuff.

00:32:18.150 --> 00:32:28.970
Got a magnifying glass. It's like the cave that

00:32:28.970 --> 00:32:32.990
Iron Man was in. He was making his suit. I'm

00:32:32.990 --> 00:32:37.690
just like, yeah, you got hemorrhoids. Man, man.

00:32:38.210 --> 00:32:42.930
You need to go see a doctor, man. Dude, my biggest

00:32:42.930 --> 00:32:48.279
fear... For your anal health. Like Kim Jong -un,

00:32:48.359 --> 00:32:50.319
you know how he doesn't have a butthole? Yeah.

00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:53.839
Like what if your boils connect into one mass?

00:32:54.720 --> 00:32:57.980
And it just completely plugs you up. Plugs me

00:32:57.980 --> 00:33:00.019
up. You're going to have to get a colostomy bag.

00:33:00.099 --> 00:33:02.279
Yeah, colostomy until they cut it open and sew

00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:04.619
it back right. Damn right. Your breath is going

00:33:04.619 --> 00:33:09.140
to steam. That was Zympic and the colostomy bag.

00:33:09.259 --> 00:33:11.079
Dude, that makes your breath stink for real.

00:33:11.140 --> 00:33:14.150
You just burp up. septic shit i think that's

00:33:14.150 --> 00:33:15.970
what did the too i stopped taking this stuff

00:33:15.970 --> 00:33:19.049
i think that's what it did it i'm convinced i

00:33:19.049 --> 00:33:21.130
haven't had any uh thing to say that's what it

00:33:21.130 --> 00:33:24.220
is or any doctor has said that but I believe

00:33:24.220 --> 00:33:27.460
it. There you go. Elon said he wanted to give

00:33:27.460 --> 00:33:28.940
the power back to the people to make their own

00:33:28.940 --> 00:33:33.000
diagnosis. Come on now. Speak on it. If I die

00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:35.240
because I'm retarded and think that, that's on

00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:37.440
me. That's on you. That's the American fucking

00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:39.440
way. That's American. Fucking doctor. Come on.

00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:41.259
It's like 10 years of school. What the fuck do

00:33:41.259 --> 00:33:43.779
they do? Exactly, dude. God damn it. The kid

00:33:43.779 --> 00:33:46.859
in Texas that died of the measles, his parents

00:33:46.859 --> 00:33:49.140
was like. We're still anti -vax. You don't need

00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:52.259
it, bro. That's one out of fucking a billion.

00:33:52.299 --> 00:33:54.440
Get the fuck out of here. You don't need it.

00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:58.539
I love it. Don't vax your kids and let them,

00:33:58.619 --> 00:34:02.119
for anything, even if we know it worked if people

00:34:02.119 --> 00:34:04.700
have been vaxed and died in their 90s and 80s,

00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:06.819
even if we know that works and it's not harmful

00:34:06.819 --> 00:34:09.889
and they weren't autistic, don't do it. True.

00:34:10.250 --> 00:34:12.889
Because the internet said. Come on now. Yeah.

00:34:13.090 --> 00:34:13.969
That's what I'm going to listen to. You know,

00:34:13.989 --> 00:34:15.230
there was some truth. I love what they're doing,

00:34:15.250 --> 00:34:16.889
too. There's some truth in what you said, man.

00:34:17.010 --> 00:34:19.050
It is. Because, like, I remember you said, like,

00:34:19.150 --> 00:34:23.489
when people get colonoscopy bags, if they got,

00:34:23.530 --> 00:34:26.170
like, that ass cancer or something else like

00:34:26.170 --> 00:34:27.969
that, you know they got to sew the ass up and

00:34:27.969 --> 00:34:29.710
stuff because there's no use for it anymore.

00:34:29.809 --> 00:34:32.429
So they tie it up and just give you the bag.

00:34:33.610 --> 00:34:36.789
Yes. Why do they tie it up? Well, because there's

00:34:36.789 --> 00:34:38.650
no use for it. You know what I mean? That's just

00:34:38.650 --> 00:34:42.929
open. You got to sew it up. So it's like, you

00:34:42.929 --> 00:34:46.070
got to sew it up. Nothing there. Nothing could

00:34:46.070 --> 00:34:48.510
come in and out of that thing, man. If you like

00:34:48.510 --> 00:34:51.329
that type of play, it's over with for you. Yep.

00:34:51.690 --> 00:35:00.869
I had to jiggle it back. I love you, man. You're

00:35:00.869 --> 00:35:14.760
a master of your craft. The world sucks. Oh,

00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:21.920
man. That was so good. Things are getting hard

00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:24.019
out there, man. Oh, my gosh, yes. John Cena.

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:26.920
I mean, what the fuck is the world coming to

00:35:26.920 --> 00:35:30.440
if John Cena turns heel? He did it for a reason.

00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:34.860
The world sucks, man. He changed a jolly guy

00:35:34.860 --> 00:35:37.070
like that, man. He's a product of his environment.

00:35:37.210 --> 00:35:40.829
Speaks different languages, all that. Peacemaker.

00:35:41.329 --> 00:35:43.150
Chinese, right? Can you say his Chinese apology?

00:35:43.570 --> 00:35:46.409
Have you memorized that? Nah, man, I wish. Bing

00:35:46.409 --> 00:35:50.530
chilling. Bing chilling. Right? That's all I

00:35:50.530 --> 00:35:53.170
know. Bing chilling. That's all I know. Bing

00:35:53.170 --> 00:35:56.630
chilling. He said it so many times. What does

00:35:56.630 --> 00:35:59.510
that mean? Let's see what Bing chilling is. Bing

00:35:59.510 --> 00:36:06.610
chilling is ice cream? Thank you, Alex. Arigato.

00:36:07.230 --> 00:36:11.570
Bring us some ice cream and sober them up. Jalen,

00:36:11.650 --> 00:36:14.070
what you got coming up? What do I have coming

00:36:14.070 --> 00:36:18.610
up? Going to Alaska again. Jesus. You can't leave

00:36:18.610 --> 00:36:20.269
that place alone. I can't leave that place alone.

00:36:20.389 --> 00:36:27.599
This time, I'm going to be a supervisor. Kiss

00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:31.159
the ring. Yeah. I'm getting paid salary. What?

00:36:31.639 --> 00:36:42.179
Big boy. It's a big dog. Oh, I always get paid.

00:36:42.760 --> 00:36:50.420
Yeah. I'm going back to Alaska, going there April

00:36:50.420 --> 00:36:54.000
22nd. I got to be there April 22nd. You know,

00:36:54.039 --> 00:36:56.860
come out and see me. I mean, there's no better

00:36:56.860 --> 00:36:59.039
reason for us to come out to Alaska. Hey, if

00:36:59.039 --> 00:37:01.820
y 'all come out, I will get you into the dredge.

00:37:01.820 --> 00:37:03.940
Y 'all can come see the dredge. I'll get you

00:37:03.940 --> 00:37:07.760
on the train. Y 'all can ride the scenic railway

00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:12.340
of Alaska. Motherfuckers used snooze and dynamite.

00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:16.769
It was like a 22 -year -old kid. back in the

00:37:16.769 --> 00:37:19.670
1800s. Give me enough snus and dynamite, I'll

00:37:19.670 --> 00:37:22.090
build you a railroad. And that was what happened

00:37:22.090 --> 00:37:23.969
because it's a big mountainous region. It was

00:37:23.969 --> 00:37:25.409
supposed to be impossible. They gave him like

00:37:25.409 --> 00:37:27.409
a million dollars and he did it. And it was like

00:37:27.409 --> 00:37:29.960
impossible. And now it's the scenic railway of

00:37:29.960 --> 00:37:32.619
Alaska. It's just beautiful. But if y 'all come

00:37:32.619 --> 00:37:36.159
through, I'll get you on that motherfucker. I'll

00:37:36.159 --> 00:37:38.519
be your tour guide. I'll be the one telling you

00:37:38.519 --> 00:37:40.699
about it and shit. Can we just follow you around

00:37:40.699 --> 00:37:42.800
like we're making a documentary about you? Yes.

00:37:43.780 --> 00:37:46.579
Skagway, much like Canada, is not a real place.

00:37:46.619 --> 00:37:49.719
You can do anything you want there. Free hotels.

00:37:50.260 --> 00:37:53.880
We just filmed your life as a supervisor. Yeah,

00:37:53.880 --> 00:37:57.300
come up. Come up. Y 'all don't even have to stay

00:37:57.300 --> 00:38:00.780
for long. If y 'all can get your way up there.

00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:04.099
What's the plane ticket looking like? Round trip,

00:38:04.139 --> 00:38:10.019
though. Round trip. If you do it at the right

00:38:10.019 --> 00:38:13.760
time, for me, it's like $400. It's like $400.

00:38:14.199 --> 00:38:18.320
It's one way. $400. We need to come back. If

00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:21.559
you get there, no, it's one way. One way, you

00:38:21.559 --> 00:38:23.579
get there, and then, I guess, you do have to

00:38:23.579 --> 00:38:26.219
come back. I don't know what that would be. I

00:38:26.219 --> 00:38:28.039
don't know what you're looking at. My shit is

00:38:28.039 --> 00:38:30.880
usually spread out. All I'm saying is y 'all

00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:33.500
can get to Skagway, Alaska. I can get you on

00:38:33.500 --> 00:38:40.079
the train. That's all I can say. But, yeah, no,

00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:45.179
it's cool if y 'all get there. It's just a train.

00:38:45.400 --> 00:38:48.559
That's all it really has going for it. Yeah,

00:38:48.559 --> 00:38:50.639
dude. You get to see the Northern Lights, right?

00:38:50.699 --> 00:38:52.260
You get to see the Northern Lights. Brandon,

00:38:52.340 --> 00:38:54.840
trains and Northern Lights. That's a day, man.

00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:58.400
Can't beat that. You got to know trains. I fuck

00:38:58.400 --> 00:39:06.880
with Thomas. That's what they used to sing. That

00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:08.599
was probably me in my past life blowing shit

00:39:08.599 --> 00:39:13.219
up. A train? No, not. That's like a different

00:39:13.219 --> 00:39:15.579
thing. I was talking about that dude that made

00:39:15.579 --> 00:39:19.000
it. Oh, yeah. The 22 -year -old. Yeah, yeah,

00:39:19.099 --> 00:39:24.219
yeah. I mean, who knows, man? Inuit. We're all

00:39:24.219 --> 00:39:26.139
connected. We're all connected. I know exactly

00:39:26.139 --> 00:39:27.500
what you're talking about. Yeah, it was probably

00:39:27.500 --> 00:39:29.380
me too, Brandon. Oh, dude. Hell yeah, we were

00:39:29.380 --> 00:39:33.400
probably connected. Yes, I believe. I'm with

00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:38.300
you. I believe it. I believe it a lot. Hell yeah,

00:39:38.420 --> 00:39:45.280
man. We're probably brothers. Hell yeah. No,

00:39:45.380 --> 00:39:48.000
I'm... is probably him too and we're fused together

00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:50.559
like a fusion on dragon ball z probably brothers

00:39:50.559 --> 00:39:54.500
man yeah Nah, y 'all know time isn't real? Really?

00:39:54.559 --> 00:39:56.820
It's not? Yeah. Really? You can't prove it. Y

00:39:56.820 --> 00:39:58.460
'all know that one? Y 'all relative. Can you

00:39:58.460 --> 00:40:01.460
prove that? Dude, I can't even count up. No,

00:40:01.460 --> 00:40:05.219
beyond Einstein, fuck relativity. No, time isn't

00:40:05.219 --> 00:40:07.380
real. If you go to another dimension, time doesn't,

00:40:07.380 --> 00:40:10.579
it doesn't make sense to a higher dimensional.

00:40:10.860 --> 00:40:12.940
Don't let me, I see Alex over there smirking.

00:40:12.940 --> 00:40:15.699
Don't get me started. It doesn't go to it. You're

00:40:15.699 --> 00:40:17.219
right. That's what you said. Somebody came down

00:40:17.219 --> 00:40:18.320
here and was like, what are you talking about

00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:19.920
today? What are you talking about? Come on now.

00:40:20.280 --> 00:40:24.139
It took me. in your time like a hundred quadrillion

00:40:24.139 --> 00:40:26.219
light years to get here but for me it was just

00:40:26.219 --> 00:40:28.780
another it's like taking a step huh and how you

00:40:28.780 --> 00:40:38.960
move in a direction glasses yesterday and you

00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:40.820
know when you see somebody and you're like i'm

00:40:40.820 --> 00:40:43.099
almost positive he didn't wear glasses but i

00:40:43.099 --> 00:40:44.679
don't want to be the first one to say anything

00:40:44.679 --> 00:40:55.250
because Alex usually does the tape play. Now

00:40:55.250 --> 00:41:00.070
you're getting on the right algorithm. Just wait,

00:41:00.309 --> 00:41:02.989
dude. I've got 40 different pairs of glasses.

00:41:04.449 --> 00:41:06.389
Just for the people that can't see, Alex does

00:41:06.389 --> 00:41:08.869
have two pairs of glasses with him right now.

00:41:10.789 --> 00:41:13.769
Which is just funny. Which is just a funny thing.

00:41:16.110 --> 00:41:18.289
I can see that being Alex's new look from here

00:41:18.289 --> 00:41:22.130
on out. Oh, yeah. I like it, man. You like it,

00:41:22.150 --> 00:41:23.949
bro? Hell, yeah. I find I might need glasses,

00:41:23.989 --> 00:41:26.170
man. Who lined you up, bro? Oh, Mike Sayles,

00:41:26.190 --> 00:41:28.769
of course. Mike Sayles. Hell, yeah. Mikey Sayles,

00:41:28.769 --> 00:41:30.610
man. Damn. Me and Mike have a talk. I thought

00:41:30.610 --> 00:41:32.730
you were going to come and get brunch with me

00:41:32.730 --> 00:41:35.130
and Alex, Mike Sayles. Oh, man. I wanted to see

00:41:35.130 --> 00:41:38.289
you. Mike, you call Mike right now. He'll jump

00:41:38.289 --> 00:41:41.469
over here. I'll be at 100%. If you call Mike

00:41:41.469 --> 00:41:43.210
Sayles right now. If we called him, he would

00:41:43.210 --> 00:41:44.449
have been there. Oh, yeah, dude. If he caught

00:41:44.449 --> 00:41:45.929
him right now, he'd come. Because he said he

00:41:45.929 --> 00:41:47.710
was coming to the broken egg thing, right? Yeah.

00:41:47.789 --> 00:41:55.489
But then he texted, where? Shout out to man,

00:41:55.610 --> 00:41:57.510
Mike Sam. I fuck with Mike Sam. He was running

00:41:57.510 --> 00:42:01.809
through his material. I want to ask y 'all this.

00:42:05.469 --> 00:42:09.050
That dude's a wizard. Oh, yeah. That's what I'll

00:42:09.050 --> 00:42:12.750
explain. They called him on the 85 South show.

00:42:12.909 --> 00:42:15.269
They did. They called him. Yeah. They said one

00:42:15.269 --> 00:42:17.530
of the greatest comedians. We got the greatest

00:42:17.530 --> 00:42:19.050
comedians in the era, and they showed a picture

00:42:19.050 --> 00:42:21.829
of myself taking that hat off. Yeah. I do what

00:42:21.829 --> 00:42:24.309
you know. Bang, bang. And he got his own interview

00:42:24.309 --> 00:42:27.349
with Jack Thriller. Oh, no. They do a show called

00:42:27.349 --> 00:42:32.219
Jacking Off. And in Atlanta, a lot of Huntsville

00:42:32.219 --> 00:42:34.000
comics went on them, but they went because Mike

00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:36.639
had been going out there like every week on Thursday.

00:42:36.860 --> 00:42:40.559
And they love him. You have to love Mike Sells.

00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:43.079
When Mike Sells says he knows somebody, like

00:42:43.079 --> 00:42:45.320
if Mike Sells came up to me, oh, yeah, I know

00:42:45.320 --> 00:42:48.340
Barack Obama, I would believe him. I mean, he

00:42:48.340 --> 00:42:50.860
would be, yeah, he was thinking about getting

00:42:50.860 --> 00:42:52.900
pieces instead of going to Turkey and getting

00:42:52.900 --> 00:42:56.119
a hip. Yeah, I put one on. And he did that shit.

00:42:56.159 --> 00:42:58.050
If he said he did it, he did it. Oh, yeah. He

00:42:58.050 --> 00:43:00.130
knows these people. He's with these people. He

00:43:00.130 --> 00:43:03.250
is. 2014 State of the Union. That was me. That

00:43:03.250 --> 00:43:06.590
was me. He got footage of it, too, man. I'll

00:43:06.590 --> 00:43:10.130
show you. That was all me, dude. He did call

00:43:10.130 --> 00:43:13.769
Charleston White on the podcast. You did that.

00:43:14.070 --> 00:43:16.690
You did. His face exploded. I thought you knew.

00:43:17.309 --> 00:43:34.550
Yes. Yes. He did. His face exploded. And as much

00:43:34.550 --> 00:43:37.449
as he denies it, he was in a reality TV show.

00:43:37.550 --> 00:43:40.329
I remember this. Yeah, he tried to say he wasn't.

00:43:40.349 --> 00:43:42.730
He tried to say he wasn't. His life was a reality

00:43:42.730 --> 00:43:45.050
TV show, though. I went to school with his son,

00:43:45.150 --> 00:43:48.769
and he showed me on his phone an episode. And

00:43:48.769 --> 00:43:52.449
Mike tried to say that wasn't real. Let me search

00:43:52.449 --> 00:43:56.670
it. It's real. Hey, man, unless it was just something

00:43:56.670 --> 00:43:59.610
else going on. That's Mike's ass. Yeah, I just

00:43:59.610 --> 00:44:01.750
searched it up on Google, man. It's right there.

00:44:01.969 --> 00:44:04.030
That's crazy you search his name and Mike comes

00:44:04.030 --> 00:44:07.429
up. Mike right there. That's 10 stats. That SEO

00:44:07.429 --> 00:44:12.050
is crazy. Oh, my God. That's beautiful. Hell

00:44:12.050 --> 00:44:21.690
yeah, man. Why is he wearing a turban? Hell yeah.

00:44:22.389 --> 00:44:26.889
He popped up, too. We don't know. Oh, my. Oh,

00:44:32.989 --> 00:44:58.199
my God. That's beautiful. I think he bought another

00:44:58.199 --> 00:45:00.659
because I seen the host come up to him It was

00:45:00.659 --> 00:45:03.260
like hey we got one two three Like I said when

00:45:03.260 --> 00:45:04.679
they do was gonna be here and then he had his

00:45:04.679 --> 00:45:06.639
hand out and shook his hand when he said like

00:45:06.639 --> 00:45:09.090
one two three He might be blind all the way I

00:45:09.090 --> 00:45:10.869
can't remember what he lost his eye from. Dude,

00:45:10.889 --> 00:45:15.190
it's like Ogre, man. Blind in one eye, 14 % in

00:45:15.190 --> 00:45:18.510
the other one. Yeah. Ogre just called. Yeah,

00:45:18.590 --> 00:45:20.949
probably. Ogre called me about you today. He

00:45:20.949 --> 00:45:24.019
sent me a picture with you on. I know it was

00:45:24.019 --> 00:45:27.820
you and Florida Evans' hair, except for the good

00:45:27.820 --> 00:45:31.579
time. Oh, shit. He posted that on Brandon's Facebook.

00:45:31.860 --> 00:45:34.980
He put it up on his Facebook? He did. Oh, man.

00:45:35.300 --> 00:45:38.280
I saw that, and I was like, his family's going

00:45:38.280 --> 00:45:40.639
to take this the wrong way. Oh, no, they laugh.

00:45:44.340 --> 00:45:47.260
I like it. I like your ogre. Man, she got the

00:45:47.260 --> 00:45:51.929
gab, too, man. Yeah, that's the war. Rest in

00:45:51.929 --> 00:45:57.579
peace. That picture they put on you for. Sidericus

00:45:57.579 --> 00:45:59.239
put a picture. He looked just like Florida Evans.

00:45:59.539 --> 00:46:02.619
He looked just like it. Oh, damn. They put that

00:46:02.619 --> 00:46:04.119
up there, and I was like, y 'all are so wrong.

00:46:04.219 --> 00:46:05.400
They were like, what are you talking about? I'm

00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:09.340
like, no. You see this picture. Because you ate.

00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:11.639
But you looked a little touched. I know which

00:46:11.639 --> 00:46:12.860
one it is. You know which one I'm talking about,

00:46:12.940 --> 00:46:14.519
right? The one with me at the barbecue. Oh, you

00:46:14.519 --> 00:46:15.900
said the red shirt? Oh, no, no, no. You were

00:46:15.900 --> 00:46:17.480
at the barbecue with the picked out front. Oh,

00:46:17.480 --> 00:46:19.860
yeah. With the picked out front, right? It's

00:46:19.860 --> 00:46:21.599
his red background. The red one look dope as

00:46:21.599 --> 00:46:23.480
hell, though. No, it's the red background. Well,

00:46:23.480 --> 00:46:25.659
this picture, you just don't let nobody put this

00:46:25.659 --> 00:46:28.909
one up again. Dude, what if it's on Google? Let

00:46:28.909 --> 00:46:32.530
me search it up. Maybe. There's that red right

00:46:32.530 --> 00:46:35.530
there. I was wondering. What the fuck? Hold on.

00:46:35.570 --> 00:46:39.409
Is this number three? Which one do you look like,

00:46:39.469 --> 00:46:47.849
Brent? There's Jalen. I saw him for a second.

00:46:47.889 --> 00:46:51.630
There he is. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, there you

00:46:51.630 --> 00:46:55.840
go. It's just the algorithm. Yeah, man. That's

00:46:55.840 --> 00:47:00.320
cool. Hell yeah. I don't use Google, so. And

00:47:00.320 --> 00:47:02.440
they put Brandon Hunt. I don't know. Who the

00:47:02.440 --> 00:47:05.440
fuck is that? I think, look. It's Brandon Willis.

00:47:05.500 --> 00:47:07.099
Brandon, all the people on the screen right now,

00:47:07.119 --> 00:47:10.199
who do you look like the most? I got to say him,

00:47:10.199 --> 00:47:12.960
man, me. No, without you. Oh, without me? Oh,

00:47:13.019 --> 00:47:15.079
man, easy. I look like that guy. Yeah. That's

00:47:15.079 --> 00:47:17.739
what I'm saying. That's probably, I mean, the

00:47:17.739 --> 00:47:20.710
one you look most like. Right there, man. His

00:47:20.710 --> 00:47:23.849
nose can touch Jonathan Mays' nose. Let's see.

00:47:23.889 --> 00:47:26.269
Let's find out a normal Brandon. Jonathan Mays

00:47:26.269 --> 00:47:29.570
is good. He can snort concrete. Don't talk about

00:47:29.570 --> 00:47:33.489
pain like that, dude. I look more like him on

00:47:33.489 --> 00:47:36.929
normal Brandon. Now, fuck that. Him. Well, you

00:47:36.929 --> 00:47:39.670
don't look anything like him, but you probably

00:47:39.670 --> 00:47:43.989
just like him. But you are 1%. You had the 1%.

00:47:43.989 --> 00:47:47.809
Yeah. Maybe him. I don't know. Or you just pick

00:47:47.809 --> 00:47:50.679
it. That's probably the most. You put him on

00:47:50.679 --> 00:47:54.159
blast for no reason. You know, man, he could

00:47:54.159 --> 00:47:55.880
be going for something. We don't know. It looks

00:47:55.880 --> 00:48:01.159
like he is. Oh, man. He look like he snitch.

00:48:01.360 --> 00:48:03.980
I like that guy, yeah. What, him right there?

00:48:04.019 --> 00:48:07.300
Yeah. Dude, he doesn't have the gap. That's the

00:48:07.300 --> 00:48:11.480
only thing. Man, dude. Let's search up Dom Carr.

00:48:11.760 --> 00:48:16.500
Go ahead. Ooh, ain't nothing showing up. I can't

00:48:16.500 --> 00:48:18.500
even find my old mug, so. Holy shit. Look at

00:48:18.500 --> 00:48:24.099
that. Look at that. Dude, okay. I was on Facebook

00:48:24.099 --> 00:48:26.659
the other day, and I was watching. I keep getting

00:48:26.659 --> 00:48:29.679
the cop videos pull up in my feed where people,

00:48:29.719 --> 00:48:31.920
like, refuse to show their ID. Yeah. They're

00:48:31.920 --> 00:48:35.260
so fun to watch. I'm watching this one, and it

00:48:35.260 --> 00:48:39.679
was like. a man in centralia illinois called

00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:43.800
after he found a man incapacitated by the railroad

00:48:43.800 --> 00:48:46.340
tracks so he calls the police and he's like yo

00:48:46.340 --> 00:48:49.820
this dude is out here just like he's hurt he's

00:48:49.820 --> 00:48:52.360
bleeding And so the police show up, and they,

00:48:52.440 --> 00:48:54.400
like, ask the guy who called for his ID, and

00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:57.019
he was like, fuck you. I was trying to be a good

00:48:57.019 --> 00:48:59.920
dude, waiting for y 'all to get here. It very

00:48:59.920 --> 00:49:02.800
obviously looked like he killed that guy. He's

00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:04.679
like, I just wanted to let y 'all know he was

00:49:04.679 --> 00:49:08.519
here. I'll be on my way. They slam him on the

00:49:08.519 --> 00:49:12.280
ground. For real? Yeah, dude. Did you save it?

00:49:13.039 --> 00:49:15.320
I don't think so. I could probably find it. I

00:49:15.320 --> 00:49:17.079
want to see. I probably know the two people.

00:49:17.159 --> 00:49:19.019
Were they whites? Dirty whites? Oh, yeah. Dirty

00:49:19.019 --> 00:49:21.420
whites, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You go across

00:49:21.420 --> 00:49:23.000
the train tracks. My mom used to say, don't go

00:49:23.000 --> 00:49:24.380
across the train tracks with the dirty whites.

00:49:24.380 --> 00:49:25.579
That's what happened to that guy. And they don't,

00:49:25.579 --> 00:49:28.440
yep. He's dead right there. I wonder, did he

00:49:28.440 --> 00:49:31.639
die? I don't know. But he was bleeding. You know,

00:49:31.659 --> 00:49:34.099
the response time. There's a strong chance that

00:49:34.099 --> 00:49:36.519
I know. What age? Which age were they? The cops?

00:49:36.840 --> 00:49:39.820
No, the dudes. It was a guy and his daughter.

00:49:40.309 --> 00:49:42.170
Oh, shit. And they slapped him on the ground?

00:49:42.650 --> 00:49:45.690
Well, no. The daughter was being cooperative.

00:49:45.949 --> 00:49:48.429
He was not. The daughter was like, I don't know

00:49:48.429 --> 00:49:50.309
why he's acting like that. And he's like, I'm

00:49:50.309 --> 00:49:53.769
suing you. I'm getting money from this. He killed

00:49:53.769 --> 00:49:55.929
that guy? Like, obviously killed that fucking

00:49:55.929 --> 00:49:58.849
guy? I'm not showing you my ID. This is amazing.

00:49:58.849 --> 00:50:03.869
Because I don't have one. He probably did. DUIs

00:50:03.869 --> 00:50:06.250
are a thing where I'm from. He's walking with

00:50:06.250 --> 00:50:07.469
his daughter across the window. They're saying

00:50:07.469 --> 00:50:15.389
he's everywhere. Everywhere you go. Did they

00:50:15.389 --> 00:50:19.300
try to help him at all? I don't even think they

00:50:19.300 --> 00:50:23.980
went and checked on that guy. Come on, man. He

00:50:23.980 --> 00:50:26.619
was just trying to be a good guy. Let them know

00:50:26.619 --> 00:50:30.480
he was there. He probably didn't kill him. They

00:50:30.480 --> 00:50:35.239
did not go check on him. But the officer pulled

00:50:35.239 --> 00:50:36.980
up. He was already mad. You could tell he was

00:50:36.980 --> 00:50:38.880
mad about something. His whole thing was like,

00:50:38.940 --> 00:50:42.039
I'm trying to get... My guy's car's off the railroad

00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:44.280
tracks. We could have somebody dying right now.

00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:46.619
There's a dude dying on the ground over there

00:50:46.619 --> 00:50:51.860
and not helping him. He's like, a matter of seconds

00:50:51.860 --> 00:50:55.179
to save somebody's life. He's dying right now.

00:50:57.000 --> 00:51:00.559
You know, they got it figured out up there in

00:51:00.559 --> 00:51:05.980
Australia. Like a castle on a hill. We're going

00:51:05.980 --> 00:51:10.679
to perform there one day. You would fit in, JJ.

00:51:11.139 --> 00:51:12.659
Nobody would even think you're from somewhere

00:51:12.659 --> 00:51:15.340
else. Without a doubt. That's probably the worst

00:51:15.340 --> 00:51:17.440
thing anybody's ever said to me. Brady, you'd

00:51:17.440 --> 00:51:19.900
be all right, too. You look like my boy Mo. He's

00:51:19.900 --> 00:51:22.500
a terrible person. Oh, shit. I mean, like, the

00:51:22.500 --> 00:51:24.340
worst person in the world. But you're good. You're,

00:51:24.420 --> 00:51:25.699
like, the good version of him. You guys just

00:51:25.699 --> 00:51:29.929
look like big heads. Off -center. It kind of

00:51:29.929 --> 00:51:32.489
looked like they came out wrong. Oh, cool. Now,

00:51:32.510 --> 00:51:34.989
is that the guy that got his legs beat? No, no,

00:51:35.030 --> 00:51:37.949
no. That's Gus. Gus got his legs beat by, you

00:51:37.949 --> 00:51:42.190
know, they work at the place as bad kids. Okay.

00:51:42.210 --> 00:51:44.530
You know, like kids, mom and daddy's probably

00:51:44.530 --> 00:51:46.090
on drugs. You know, they get them. Yeah, yeah.

00:51:46.170 --> 00:51:47.789
And they got behavior problems. That's the one

00:51:47.789 --> 00:51:50.570
that he worked with. And then he would tell them

00:51:50.570 --> 00:51:51.989
to get off the game. You got to go to sleep.

00:51:52.010 --> 00:51:54.090
And then he said when he walked by, hit him in

00:51:54.090 --> 00:51:55.750
the back of the head with a computer, a laptop,

00:51:55.909 --> 00:51:59.460
and then beat his legs. This is on paperwork

00:51:59.460 --> 00:52:02.139
right now. Everybody has seen it. I think he

00:52:02.139 --> 00:52:05.420
posted it to his Facebook. He said that the boy

00:52:05.420 --> 00:52:06.739
hit him in the back of the head with a laptop

00:52:06.739 --> 00:52:09.420
and then beat his legs. He was walking on crutches.

00:52:09.800 --> 00:52:11.980
He was walking on crutches. He was telling everybody

00:52:11.980 --> 00:52:16.519
who said he was live, fuck y 'all. Did the kid

00:52:16.519 --> 00:52:18.820
go to jail or anything? Hell no. Them kids get

00:52:18.820 --> 00:52:22.280
passes. They're not stable. Oh, okay. But you

00:52:22.280 --> 00:52:25.340
can't fuck them up. So a lot of my friends that

00:52:25.340 --> 00:52:26.900
have worked there, because they let you, if you're

00:52:26.900 --> 00:52:29.800
a felon, you can work with them. And a lot of

00:52:29.800 --> 00:52:31.179
them, they let them work with them, but sometimes

00:52:31.179 --> 00:52:36.469
they get their ass whooped. The kids. Yeah. Damn.

00:52:36.469 --> 00:52:39.489
Was that the same guy who ran the backpack program?

00:52:40.469 --> 00:52:44.789
Yes, yes. That's the baby. Damn, man. A light

00:52:44.789 --> 00:52:47.650
bra. Light bra. Hey, guys, we're trying to get

00:52:47.650 --> 00:52:49.690
these kids some backpacks, man. If you could

00:52:49.690 --> 00:52:52.289
donate. I still got the baby. If you could donate.

00:52:52.550 --> 00:52:56.309
It was something like $200. I'm like, God, you

00:52:56.309 --> 00:52:59.510
is not about to get a kid a damn backpack. How

00:52:59.510 --> 00:53:02.030
many of those kids got backpacks? People were

00:53:02.030 --> 00:53:03.690
still asking him, hey, you still give up? It

00:53:03.690 --> 00:53:05.929
was like in the middle of the school year. Damn.

00:53:06.110 --> 00:53:10.039
They were like, you don't get a benefit. We still

00:53:10.039 --> 00:53:12.639
get the backpacks and supplies. He ain't giving

00:53:12.639 --> 00:53:19.480
nobody shit. He took a picture in front of a

00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:22.760
U -Haul filled with water. He was like, I'm going

00:53:22.760 --> 00:53:26.199
up to Flint, Michigan. Why? We don't have any

00:53:26.199 --> 00:53:28.260
ties to Flint, Michigan. I'm going up to Flint,

00:53:28.320 --> 00:53:31.460
Michigan with a U -Haul filled with water for

00:53:31.460 --> 00:53:35.820
him. So if you know that. I don't know. I would

00:53:35.820 --> 00:53:39.079
put money on, he took everybody's money. There

00:53:39.079 --> 00:53:41.900
wasn't a drop of money that went to, it probably

00:53:41.900 --> 00:53:43.840
wasn't his U -Haul. He see the U -Haul, he said,

00:53:43.880 --> 00:53:45.480
oh, let me get a picture right here. It's making

00:53:45.480 --> 00:53:48.820
sense, Don. The little kid that be his legs was

00:53:48.820 --> 00:53:51.780
an angel. This is karma. This is karma coming

00:53:51.780 --> 00:53:54.739
back to, yeah, okay, this is a good story. First

00:53:54.739 --> 00:53:57.179
I was like, damn, that's fucked up. But now it's

00:53:57.179 --> 00:54:00.460
like, yeah, okay. Well, he had to run the scams

00:54:00.460 --> 00:54:02.619
to pay for the medical bills because he got his

00:54:02.619 --> 00:54:05.900
leg. He got his legs beat, dog. He might be tiny,

00:54:05.940 --> 00:54:08.980
too. That's a crazy way to describe what happened

00:54:08.980 --> 00:54:12.000
to you. You know what I'm saying? Did he beat

00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:14.780
his legs with the laptop? Huh? With the laptop?

00:54:14.980 --> 00:54:17.420
I think so. I think he said he hit him in the

00:54:17.420 --> 00:54:18.519
back of the head. He was like, you don't understand

00:54:18.519 --> 00:54:21.860
how big these laptops beat. The dude is like

00:54:21.860 --> 00:54:23.380
the smallest dude you've ever seen. It's like

00:54:23.380 --> 00:54:26.159
Heath. It would be like Heath, but Heath fucked

00:54:26.159 --> 00:54:27.639
me up. You know what I'm saying? He hit me in

00:54:27.639 --> 00:54:30.380
the back of the head with a laptop and beat my

00:54:30.380 --> 00:54:34.219
legs. I don't know why he put it in there. Everybody

00:54:34.219 --> 00:54:38.139
knows he's lying. He won't say he's lying. Was

00:54:38.139 --> 00:54:41.360
it like what happened to that teacher? You remember

00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:43.000
when she took his Nintendo Switch and he just

00:54:43.000 --> 00:54:44.840
went wild? No, that was real assault. Oh, dude,

00:54:44.920 --> 00:54:46.340
that was horrible as hell. He needed to be in

00:54:46.340 --> 00:54:49.400
jail. Yeah, he's autistic. Who gives a fuck?

00:54:49.400 --> 00:54:52.059
That means to lock him down harder. Hell yeah.

00:54:52.440 --> 00:54:54.619
They don't understand what they're doing. Exactly.

00:54:55.019 --> 00:54:56.440
I'm a little autistic. You don't see me whooping

00:54:56.440 --> 00:54:58.079
people's ass? Yeah, but you got the good kind.

00:54:58.260 --> 00:54:59.840
You got the nice kind. Thank you. But if you

00:54:59.840 --> 00:55:03.050
got the kind like that boy here. He need to be

00:55:03.050 --> 00:55:05.150
on the lock and key. Yeah. And you can't, you

00:55:05.150 --> 00:55:06.630
be like, oh, you don't, you know, he doesn't

00:55:06.630 --> 00:55:08.550
know. I don't give a fuck. Other people know

00:55:08.550 --> 00:55:10.750
when they getting hit. Yeah. You know what I'm

00:55:10.750 --> 00:55:12.469
saying? When their brain is getting rattled,

00:55:12.469 --> 00:55:14.110
they know. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's

00:55:14.110 --> 00:55:16.010
lock his ass up. Is she down? No, she's good.

00:55:16.050 --> 00:55:17.570
She's good. She's bleeding on the brain. She's

00:55:17.570 --> 00:55:20.110
all right. She's all right. Trust me. Yeah, she's

00:55:20.110 --> 00:55:23.099
found a report. She sued him. Good. Because that's

00:55:23.099 --> 00:55:27.099
when it becomes a medical thing, when it's dangerous.

00:55:27.199 --> 00:55:30.539
Hell yeah. Because, yeah, I mean, you know, this

00:55:30.539 --> 00:55:35.019
is just cloud college. But that's real. That's

00:55:35.019 --> 00:55:37.880
real, yeah. Hell yeah. You can't just let them

00:55:37.880 --> 00:55:39.360
out freely if they too big. Nah, they ain't going

00:55:39.360 --> 00:55:41.460
to whoop everybody's ass. Just think of Steve

00:55:41.460 --> 00:55:43.940
Nash. No, hold on. Which one is the big? Not

00:55:43.940 --> 00:55:46.000
Steve Nash. The wrestler, the one who did Panama.

00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:48.619
Oh, Chris Benoit. Oh, you said Panama. Hold on.

00:55:48.659 --> 00:55:51.420
For sure. Just think if Chris Benoit was autistic.

00:55:52.179 --> 00:55:54.659
Exactly. He did what they thought he was going

00:55:54.659 --> 00:55:57.539
to do. But they would have locked him up when

00:55:57.539 --> 00:56:00.480
he was screaming in his promo video for him to

00:56:00.480 --> 00:56:03.039
walk out. He's screaming with the kid. Clearly,

00:56:03.079 --> 00:56:05.519
this man was going to kill his wife and children.

00:56:05.929 --> 00:56:08.130
That's a damn shame. You had the writing on the

00:56:08.130 --> 00:56:10.110
wall. Look at that. Thankfully, the kid lived,

00:56:10.110 --> 00:56:13.369
though. Nah, he died. Wait, did he have two kids?

00:56:13.429 --> 00:56:14.849
Because one of them was walking around doing

00:56:14.849 --> 00:56:20.389
interviews about him. That nigga died. That's

00:56:20.389 --> 00:56:21.710
why they had the picture. So the other one's

00:56:21.710 --> 00:56:25.570
gone, okay. The other one was at a sleepover

00:56:25.570 --> 00:56:30.230
or something. I mean, that's the story. If he

00:56:30.230 --> 00:56:32.789
just killed the wife, that's okay. It's his son

00:56:32.789 --> 00:56:36.710
right here. Well, other ones. He killed the kids,

00:56:36.809 --> 00:56:38.409
man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. There

00:56:38.409 --> 00:56:40.030
was two of them. Yeah, there was two. He killed

00:56:40.030 --> 00:56:42.030
the other one. Man, rest in peace, man. See,

00:56:42.050 --> 00:56:44.829
that one was big enough to get away. Didn't get

00:56:44.829 --> 00:56:46.469
on that one. Yeah, people are wrestling, too,

00:56:46.550 --> 00:56:51.570
now. Whoa. Maybe set this one out. Yeah, we'll

00:56:51.570 --> 00:56:54.269
see. Yeah. I would distance myself. Like, that's

00:56:54.269 --> 00:56:58.570
great. You know, teach their own. My thing is,

00:56:58.570 --> 00:57:02.960
hey, man. Damn. What time we at, brother? We

00:57:02.960 --> 00:57:05.760
at 58 minutes. All right. You got anything coming

00:57:05.760 --> 00:57:08.519
up? You going to be doing stand -up or anything

00:57:08.519 --> 00:57:11.460
anywhere? Where people can find you? Nothing

00:57:11.460 --> 00:57:16.239
like a show. Nothing like that's like I set up

00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:19.760
for myself. I'm always like willing for the universe

00:57:19.760 --> 00:57:22.920
to come through. Oh, yeah. You know, if you guys

00:57:22.920 --> 00:57:26.130
want to see me, you know, tap it, meditate. Tap

00:57:26.130 --> 00:57:29.650
in. Let the source tell you where I'm going to

00:57:29.650 --> 00:57:32.889
be and follow your heart and your intuition.

00:57:34.630 --> 00:57:39.190
Bryce knows what I'm talking about. Namaste.

00:57:39.530 --> 00:58:20.110
Namaste. Namaste. All right. Peace. Peace. I

00:58:20.110 --> 00:58:21.030
hate Scrappy Doo.