WEBVTT

00:00:01.300 --> 00:00:08.240
This week on Clown College. True, it's like a

00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:11.039
catheter. Yeah, well no, I'm good, no, I'm done,

00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:13.759
no, I'm never, the only time I want a catheter

00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:16.320
is if I'm about to die. I don't want a catheter.

00:00:17.260 --> 00:00:19.140
I'm sorry, man. I don't want enough of going

00:00:19.140 --> 00:00:21.460
up there. Was that the last? Did you just learn

00:00:21.460 --> 00:00:23.440
about those in class? Oh, no, no. I've known

00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:25.000
about it since I was a child, and I've always

00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:27.000
been like, that's my nightmare. Yeah, that is.

00:00:27.019 --> 00:00:28.800
That's my nightmare. That's one of the, seems

00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:31.519
like one of the worst things. And I heard some

00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:34.000
old people, like, not mentally up there, they'll

00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:39.280
rip it out. Yeah. Mm -hmm. Imagine that pain.

00:00:40.579 --> 00:00:42.079
You remember something for a minute after that.

00:00:42.079 --> 00:00:44.109
Make sure it's lubricated right. Maybe they're

00:00:44.109 --> 00:00:46.289
so crazy it feels good. No, it's not going to

00:00:46.289 --> 00:00:48.149
feel good, man. They're going to remember for

00:00:48.149 --> 00:00:50.969
a split second everything. It's going to fucking

00:00:50.969 --> 00:01:19.390
hurt. Let's all go to Clown College, baby. It's

00:01:19.390 --> 00:01:24.530
with Brandon Willis, Don and JJ. Let's all go

00:01:24.530 --> 00:01:29.569
to Clown College, baby. It's with Brandon Willis,

00:01:29.569 --> 00:01:47.840
Don and JJ. Is that racist? Yeah. Is that racist?

00:01:47.859 --> 00:01:49.859
What's racist? I don't know. Rollin', rollin'.

00:01:49.859 --> 00:01:52.560
No, that's not racist. No, no, no, no, no. That's

00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:54.560
something. That's... I don't know. Might be like

00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:57.420
a hymn. You trying to say it's a field song?

00:01:57.560 --> 00:02:04.159
Yeah. Oh. Slave song, huh? I don't know. Hell

00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:10.560
yeah. How you doing, JJ? I bet. JJ. I'm doing

00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:13.639
good. I got tanned up good in Hawaii. I see a

00:02:13.639 --> 00:02:16.789
lot happening to you, buddy. Yeah. I changed.

00:02:16.949 --> 00:02:22.370
I had a sex change. And a race change. This is

00:02:22.370 --> 00:02:28.689
better, honestly. Thank you. I've been living

00:02:28.689 --> 00:02:33.060
my life wrong. Oh, shit. It's gonna be back,

00:02:33.060 --> 00:02:35.659
though. How was Hawaii? Oh, it was insane. It

00:02:35.659 --> 00:02:37.879
was literally the most beautiful place I've ever

00:02:37.879 --> 00:02:40.580
seen. I mean, literally, I come back, it's, like,

00:02:40.620 --> 00:02:43.020
gray as fuck here. It's sunny today. It looks

00:02:43.020 --> 00:02:46.659
gray outside. Like, it's... The heat's grosser

00:02:46.659 --> 00:02:49.460
here. Like, you know? It actually... It was crazy,

00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:51.439
though. Where we were on... So, I went to Maui.

00:02:51.719 --> 00:02:54.699
And where we were on the island, like, you expect...

00:02:54.750 --> 00:02:56.590
uh you hear hawaii you're just like a tropical

00:02:56.590 --> 00:02:59.370
paradise it was like literally uh the the area

00:02:59.370 --> 00:03:01.509
we were in was like completely dry they were

00:03:01.509 --> 00:03:04.530
like we get 10 inches of rain a year Just because

00:03:04.530 --> 00:03:07.110
the way the mountains block the shit and whatnot,

00:03:07.270 --> 00:03:09.849
it was wild. But it was one of the most beautiful

00:03:09.849 --> 00:03:13.409
places I've ever been. I hate being back, and

00:03:13.409 --> 00:03:15.650
I'm going to move there soon with my little anime

00:03:15.650 --> 00:03:19.629
van. You will be homeless there. Without a doubt,

00:03:19.710 --> 00:03:21.789
if you move to Hawaii, you will be homeless in

00:03:21.789 --> 00:03:24.310
a matter of time. I looked up the comedy scene

00:03:24.310 --> 00:03:28.250
there. They don't got one? Well, Maui's rebuilding

00:03:28.250 --> 00:03:30.729
currently. Oh, Maui definitely ain't gonna have

00:03:30.729 --> 00:03:32.650
one. Yeah, Maui's rebuilding for the fires. A

00:03:32.650 --> 00:03:34.770
lot was fucked up there, apparently. Like, we

00:03:34.770 --> 00:03:38.590
don't get news like it's supposed to be got.

00:03:38.810 --> 00:03:40.469
I'll just say that. Oh, yeah, they don't care

00:03:40.469 --> 00:03:42.930
about that. They don't care about the mainland,

00:03:43.069 --> 00:03:46.069
either. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it is a state,

00:03:46.129 --> 00:03:48.129
but, you know. That was the other thing. It was

00:03:48.129 --> 00:03:50.449
like, I've never been... It was so weird being,

00:03:50.650 --> 00:03:53.090
like, that isolated. Because, like, yeah, you

00:03:53.090 --> 00:03:55.879
can, like... I've been like the wilderness in

00:03:55.879 --> 00:03:57.840
America, you know, like the middle of the woods.

00:03:57.939 --> 00:04:00.439
But that's totally different than being in the

00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:03.500
middle of the ocean like that. It's weird, like

00:04:03.500 --> 00:04:06.039
mentally. That's the shit. Yeah, I dug it. It

00:04:06.039 --> 00:04:08.219
was interesting. I definitely dug it. Did you

00:04:08.219 --> 00:04:10.680
go swimming or anything like that? Yeah, I went

00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:12.180
in the water a little bit. I'm not really a water

00:04:12.180 --> 00:04:17.139
guy like that. Me neither. One thing. I don't

00:04:17.139 --> 00:04:20.290
really like it. Oh, dude, I love seeing wild

00:04:20.290 --> 00:04:22.750
animals everywhere, though. So there were chickens

00:04:22.750 --> 00:04:25.949
everywhere. Yeah. You see the boars, wild hogs?

00:04:25.949 --> 00:04:28.029
No, we wanted to. We tried, but we didn't see

00:04:28.029 --> 00:04:33.529
any. I'm just going to be a Hawaii podcast. There

00:04:33.529 --> 00:04:35.990
were no predators on the island. Really? Yeah,

00:04:36.069 --> 00:04:38.970
you would do amazing. You would thrive. Hell

00:04:38.970 --> 00:04:41.290
yeah. There are no predators. That's good. Apparently,

00:04:41.290 --> 00:04:43.129
like, pretty much every animal other than bird

00:04:43.129 --> 00:04:46.709
and fish, we, like, humans brought over to the

00:04:46.709 --> 00:04:48.829
island. So, like, the Polynesians, when they

00:04:48.829 --> 00:04:50.550
first came over, they brought chickens, pigs,

00:04:50.790 --> 00:04:53.550
and something else, some other thing. But, like,

00:04:53.649 --> 00:04:55.269
there were literally, it was, I mean, the island

00:04:55.269 --> 00:04:58.129
came up from the sea, from volcanoes. So, like.

00:04:58.439 --> 00:05:00.259
what animals would be there. You know what I

00:05:00.259 --> 00:05:03.800
mean? That was the shit about goddamn Hawaii.

00:05:03.879 --> 00:05:06.139
No snakes. No snakes. They don't have any snakes.

00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:10.199
Yeah, no poisonous bugs. No, yeah. And then what,

00:05:10.279 --> 00:05:14.040
and I think it's Guam, what happened was a plane

00:05:14.040 --> 00:05:17.399
came over and had a snake in like the fucking

00:05:17.399 --> 00:05:20.980
wheel wheel. Oh no. And it brought snakes and

00:05:20.980 --> 00:05:24.220
now it's in, like they're all over. Damn. Swear.

00:05:24.300 --> 00:05:27.480
So it's like. Yeah, they check your shit. Like,

00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:29.160
they check your bags on your way out. You got

00:05:29.160 --> 00:05:31.199
an agriculture check. Yeah, exactly. They special

00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:33.519
scan it. Don't play about that shit. Because

00:05:33.519 --> 00:05:35.839
they don't want any pests brought in or pests

00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:38.139
brought out. They were like, this toad's invasive

00:05:38.139 --> 00:05:40.199
now. I don't know how it got here. They were

00:05:40.199 --> 00:05:44.259
like... It was dope. So when did that snake thing

00:05:44.259 --> 00:05:47.019
happen? I don't know. You have to look it up.

00:05:47.060 --> 00:05:49.540
Yeah, let's see. Yeah, I mean, it would assume

00:05:49.540 --> 00:05:51.560
World War II. It might have been America's Samoa.

00:05:51.579 --> 00:05:54.839
I don't know, but I know, like... On the Oahu

00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:59.259
Island, they have a... You said you went on tour,

00:05:59.319 --> 00:06:01.300
so it might be like the same thing as the Colonies

00:06:01.300 --> 00:06:06.800
and Pulsars Cultural Center. And you can go through

00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:09.000
all the different islands and they do a show

00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:11.100
for you and tell you about them. They do it every

00:06:11.100 --> 00:06:13.259
15 minutes, so you can go to all of them. That's

00:06:13.259 --> 00:06:18.110
cool. It's almost like Disney World. Yeah. I

00:06:18.110 --> 00:06:20.670
swear. And then they did a show at the end. It

00:06:20.670 --> 00:06:23.970
was like $90 you got the whole day. Nice. And

00:06:23.970 --> 00:06:27.550
you got, no, it was like $90. I think it was

00:06:27.550 --> 00:06:30.230
$90. And you got a luau in there, you know, where

00:06:30.230 --> 00:06:32.850
they do the whole luau. You eat the pig and all

00:06:32.850 --> 00:06:35.129
the food and shit. And then at the end, they

00:06:35.129 --> 00:06:40.180
did a big live. It was almost identical to Lion

00:06:40.180 --> 00:06:43.000
King, like the story. But they were, like, running

00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:44.660
out through the, you know, you're sitting on

00:06:44.660 --> 00:06:47.600
the way, and they're running out there. They're

00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:50.199
doing this big -ass show. That's great. Damn,

00:06:50.259 --> 00:06:52.620
that sounds fun as hell, man. Yeah, it was definitely

00:06:52.620 --> 00:06:56.100
fun. We didn't, I don't like doing, like, I don't

00:06:56.100 --> 00:06:58.600
like go, go, go on vacation. So we were, it was

00:06:58.600 --> 00:07:00.980
chill. Oh, yeah. Ain't no place better chill

00:07:00.980 --> 00:07:03.480
than Maui. Yeah. Like, if you go to the islands,

00:07:03.540 --> 00:07:08.699
you got Maui's the chill. And Kauai. Kauai is

00:07:08.699 --> 00:07:12.180
like, I think it's maybe a little bit more lively

00:07:12.180 --> 00:07:14.800
than Maui. And then Oahu, that's the, you know,

00:07:14.819 --> 00:07:18.139
Waikiki, Honolulu. Yeah, we stopped there on

00:07:18.139 --> 00:07:21.980
the way out. Out to go out. Saw where you, saw

00:07:21.980 --> 00:07:24.480
your old stomping ground from up above. You go

00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:25.959
there, I could have got you some people. Blue

00:07:25.959 --> 00:07:28.680
B, I remember you always had the best shit. Shout

00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:32.569
out. That's the next trip, going to Oahu. Hell

00:07:32.569 --> 00:07:34.269
yeah, dude. If it wasn't so expensive, that'd

00:07:34.269 --> 00:07:36.629
be the best trip to go to, but it's so fucking

00:07:36.629 --> 00:07:38.730
expensive, man. I mean, you would have to, like,

00:07:38.769 --> 00:07:42.350
the idea would be, like, you go down there and

00:07:42.350 --> 00:07:45.629
stay for an undisclosed amount, like, unplanned

00:07:45.629 --> 00:07:47.709
amount of time. You just plan to stay down there.

00:07:47.810 --> 00:07:49.870
Like, you have somewhere to stay, and yeah, that

00:07:49.870 --> 00:07:53.389
would be the best way. Yeah. And a car. In Maui,

00:07:53.389 --> 00:07:56.170
you needed a car. Oh, yeah, yeah. You need a

00:07:56.170 --> 00:07:59.079
car. Yeah. I mean, if you don't get a car in

00:07:59.079 --> 00:08:01.680
Waikiki, you're just staying in Waikiki, Honolulu

00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:04.100
area, and you got the whole rest of that island.

00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:07.240
East side, stairway to heaven. You know, all

00:08:07.240 --> 00:08:09.259
the different sides. Yeah, the whole, maybe even

00:08:09.259 --> 00:08:12.279
Maui was completely different on one side to

00:08:12.279 --> 00:08:14.959
the middle. Yeah, it was wild. Yeah, brother.

00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:17.160
We're going to take you, dude. We're going to

00:08:17.160 --> 00:08:19.199
take you to the Caribbean. You'd fit. Caribbean.

00:08:19.379 --> 00:08:21.839
Yeah, you'd. First of all, they'd all think you

00:08:21.839 --> 00:08:24.360
were Spanish. Yeah, for sure. If you didn't talk,

00:08:24.439 --> 00:08:26.180
they'd all just think you were, like, Colombian.

00:08:26.439 --> 00:08:30.579
I just put my thumbs up every time. Yes, dude.

00:08:30.959 --> 00:08:33.559
You're the perfect Mexican, Brandon. Your, like,

00:08:33.740 --> 00:08:36.759
attitude, chill, yeah. And how tight your clothes

00:08:36.759 --> 00:08:38.700
are, you can definitely pass for Dominican. Yeah,

00:08:38.700 --> 00:08:41.860
okay. Hell yeah. Just stumble into one of their

00:08:41.860 --> 00:08:43.679
braids. You get your pointy shoes and a studded

00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:45.659
belt. You said pointy shoes? Yes. Like the iron

00:08:45.659 --> 00:08:48.679
sheet? You do that, you will be Dominican in

00:08:48.679 --> 00:08:51.559
the heartbeat. Me no, hey, me no black. Me no

00:08:51.559 --> 00:08:57.029
black. No, no. Me no English. Me no speak. You

00:08:57.029 --> 00:09:00.350
don't speak. Say it again. Say me no speak. Me

00:09:00.350 --> 00:09:03.330
no speak. Me no speak what? Me no speak English.

00:09:04.090 --> 00:09:10.039
Me no speak English. See? Me no English. Me no

00:09:10.039 --> 00:09:13.000
English. Damn, I did just speak English when

00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:14.860
I said speak English. We're going to get Brandon

00:09:14.860 --> 00:09:18.620
taken by ice. You probably would. You got a dude

00:09:18.620 --> 00:09:20.820
who don't speak English, huh? I was just joking.

00:09:20.940 --> 00:09:24.779
Before we get off of Maui, I did bring a gift

00:09:24.779 --> 00:09:28.659
for the pod for the boys. What is it? Organic

00:09:28.659 --> 00:09:31.919
ocean vodka. Okay. Oh, wow. Crafted in Hawaii.

00:09:32.159 --> 00:09:35.580
That looks amazing. Yeah. I think the bottle's

00:09:35.580 --> 00:09:38.289
blue. That's good. We got to keep that. We got

00:09:38.289 --> 00:09:40.330
to keep that. You see that? I see that. It looks

00:09:40.330 --> 00:09:43.309
like some water. It was the only... I didn't

00:09:43.309 --> 00:09:45.029
see anything. Everything around... I mean, we

00:09:45.029 --> 00:09:47.350
went to a heavily tourist area, so everything

00:09:47.350 --> 00:09:51.450
around was literally just like surfboards with

00:09:51.450 --> 00:09:53.269
people's names on them. It was a Dubai, so I

00:09:53.269 --> 00:09:54.809
didn't see any gifts, but I definitely wanted

00:09:54.809 --> 00:09:56.870
to get that. Oh, did you see any of the people

00:09:56.870 --> 00:09:59.639
making those things, like woodworking? oh so

00:09:59.639 --> 00:10:02.019
kinda yeah on the tour we definitely yeah we

00:10:02.019 --> 00:10:05.039
passed a chainsaw dude that was doing the chainsaw

00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:08.179
art that was cool cause like we knew a dude it's

00:10:08.179 --> 00:10:10.860
the world everyone's the same everywhere when

00:10:10.860 --> 00:10:13.340
I lived in the middle of nowhere in Indiana like

00:10:13.340 --> 00:10:16.340
the white whitesville you know what I mean there

00:10:16.340 --> 00:10:19.399
was a guy that did fucking chainsaw art and he

00:10:19.399 --> 00:10:21.139
made tiki shit because you know you run out of

00:10:21.139 --> 00:10:23.519
bears to carve when you're doing chainsaw you're

00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:25.320
old man so he would make tiki shit so it was

00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:27.139
interesting it was like everyone's always the

00:10:27.139 --> 00:10:28.679
same dude we're all just probably learned it

00:10:28.679 --> 00:10:34.340
from his master yeah so no go ahead i wouldn't

00:10:34.340 --> 00:10:35.820
have noticed the whole time did you go to a volcano

00:10:35.820 --> 00:10:39.000
no well i mean i guess i was technically at one

00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:41.740
right because i guess each island was made oh

00:10:41.740 --> 00:10:45.230
so it's from lava but it's it's not Active. I

00:10:45.230 --> 00:10:48.370
think the only active one, there are two. One's

00:10:48.370 --> 00:10:49.970
on the Big Island. Big Island, yeah, that's the

00:10:49.970 --> 00:10:51.889
Big Island. And there's a new island currently

00:10:51.889 --> 00:10:55.009
being formed. There's an underwater volcano that

00:10:55.009 --> 00:10:57.649
in about 100 years will form an island, he said.

00:10:57.870 --> 00:10:59.669
Damn. That's tight. It's almost done? We'll go

00:10:59.669 --> 00:11:02.149
check it out. It's the ninth island, yeah. Yeah,

00:11:02.149 --> 00:11:03.990
let's check that out. You got 100 years left

00:11:03.990 --> 00:11:06.309
in you, Brad? Oh, definitely. If anybody does,

00:11:06.409 --> 00:11:09.100
it's you. I hope. Because you'll be a doctor.

00:11:09.240 --> 00:11:12.059
Doctors live longer. Yeah. Yeah, they do. They

00:11:12.059 --> 00:11:14.860
sure do. I wouldn't live to be like 130. I've

00:11:14.860 --> 00:11:17.360
never seen a fat doctor. Me neither. As soon

00:11:17.360 --> 00:11:19.059
as you pass this class, man, I need you to take

00:11:19.059 --> 00:11:21.299
a look at these. I got you, man. I mean, they

00:11:21.299 --> 00:11:24.980
are killing me. Speaking of volcanic eruptions.

00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:27.419
Yeah, man. Yeah, we'll get in there, man. Can

00:11:27.419 --> 00:11:29.639
you do that again? We'll look at them. Just bring

00:11:29.639 --> 00:11:31.639
your little tackle box, you know, that they're

00:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.799
giving you. Let's get in there and figure this

00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:36.740
out. Yeah, we will. He brings a tackle box. He

00:11:36.740 --> 00:11:41.200
wears a Carson belt. Honestly, my experience

00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:42.740
with balls, you just got to let it ride out.

00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:45.279
That's what I do. I just let it ride out to his

00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:48.220
car. I know. And that's what I usually do, too.

00:11:48.299 --> 00:11:50.000
Now keep fucking with it. Yeah, you can't do

00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:53.700
that. Dude, I'm like that with my face. That's

00:11:53.700 --> 00:11:57.100
why I have scars. You got to stop that. That's

00:11:57.100 --> 00:12:00.230
meth. Yeah, right. You want to be associated?

00:12:00.470 --> 00:12:02.509
When I lived in Baltimore, when I first moved

00:12:02.509 --> 00:12:06.409
out the house, I was only eating trail mix, and

00:12:06.409 --> 00:12:08.950
I was picking at my face, so I looked like a

00:12:08.950 --> 00:12:12.250
meth head. Really? Like a fat meth head. Damn.

00:12:14.129 --> 00:12:16.409
Posted on Instagram about how people were keeping

00:12:16.409 --> 00:12:19.529
me alive. Like it was dark times. Damn, man.

00:12:19.610 --> 00:12:25.250
I was 20. Dark times. Careful, Brandon. It could

00:12:25.250 --> 00:12:28.250
be you. Yeah, it could be. I didn't know they

00:12:28.250 --> 00:12:33.570
were fat meth heads. Like those zippies. Those

00:12:33.570 --> 00:12:36.309
zippies? Yeah, I didn't know they had fat meth

00:12:36.309 --> 00:12:40.210
heads, man. Right? They do. Chubby meth. They

00:12:40.210 --> 00:12:43.789
eventually either die or get skinny. Yeah, they

00:12:43.789 --> 00:12:46.250
just have a heart attack because they're doing

00:12:46.250 --> 00:12:50.399
so much to short circuits. Like, yeah. Yeah.

00:12:52.430 --> 00:12:56.610
I met this one ex -Coke head in Baltimore that

00:12:56.610 --> 00:12:58.870
I worked at a Chinese restaurant. He was just

00:12:58.870 --> 00:13:01.230
a customer. He would just come in and be like,

00:13:01.330 --> 00:13:03.230
oh, yeah, man, the 80s. He was one of those.

00:13:03.350 --> 00:13:06.009
Oh, the 80s, dude. It was fucking amazing. He

00:13:06.009 --> 00:13:08.230
looked exactly. He looked like Harvey Weinstein.

00:13:08.409 --> 00:13:13.070
Oh, no. He's like, oh, Corvette, hood down, bitches

00:13:13.070 --> 00:13:15.309
around. He's like, had to stop that, though,

00:13:15.309 --> 00:13:19.049
after the heart surgery. He had a real big wake

00:13:19.049 --> 00:13:23.059
-up call. Damn. I want to meet this guy. No,

00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:25.179
respect for being able to stop, because a lot

00:13:25.179 --> 00:13:28.299
of people can't. Honestly, I don't think I'd

00:13:28.299 --> 00:13:30.960
ever get to that point, but if I did, I don't

00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:33.559
know if I could, because I'm like that. I'm addictive.

00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:37.320
To get on. If I was at the point where I'm like,

00:13:37.379 --> 00:13:39.159
oh, you're about to die from heart attacks because

00:13:39.159 --> 00:13:40.799
you're doing coke, I don't know if I'd be able

00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:43.740
to stop then. I think I'd be too far gone. I

00:13:43.740 --> 00:13:46.539
don't think I'd ever get there, but if. I think,

00:13:46.539 --> 00:13:48.860
yeah, I think I would just, yeah. I totally get

00:13:48.860 --> 00:13:51.120
how they would just, fuck you. Oh, yeah, me too.

00:13:51.419 --> 00:13:54.080
Get the personality. We got that. But see, coke's

00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:57.080
the worst, though. It's the worst of them. It's

00:13:57.080 --> 00:13:59.299
too much goes in to what you get out of it. Right.

00:13:59.340 --> 00:14:01.740
I would be doing crack, let's be real. Crack?

00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:03.600
That's better? Crack's a good time. Well, it's

00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:06.919
better, but it's worse for you. Oh, okay. It's

00:14:06.919 --> 00:14:09.120
worse outcomes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because you get

00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:12.399
high as fuck. It's not like a coke high. You

00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:14.740
get high, and you're always trying to trace that

00:14:14.740 --> 00:14:16.720
dragon. Right, yeah, that's the word. Trying

00:14:16.720 --> 00:14:19.100
to get that high again until they come to your

00:14:19.100 --> 00:14:21.539
mama house to get it. Damn. I almost killed one

00:14:21.539 --> 00:14:23.419
of these little motherfuckers. They came knocking

00:14:23.419 --> 00:14:25.519
on my door at like 2 o 'clock in the morning.

00:14:25.580 --> 00:14:28.860
It was like a two -story brick house. So my mom

00:14:28.860 --> 00:14:31.299
stayed downstairs, and I had to hold upstairs

00:14:31.299 --> 00:14:33.320
to myself once my brother and my sister moved

00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:36.500
out. And I only was selling coke at the time,

00:14:36.519 --> 00:14:39.590
and I dabbled in the crack. because it was more

00:14:39.590 --> 00:14:43.330
profitable. You could double up your money. So

00:14:43.330 --> 00:14:49.929
I did it. First of all, I never was at my house.

00:14:49.950 --> 00:14:52.210
I had never sold out of my house. So I would

00:14:52.210 --> 00:14:55.490
go, you know, be places where they wanted it,

00:14:55.529 --> 00:14:59.429
get it out. I went home 2 o 'clock in the morning.

00:14:59.529 --> 00:15:02.450
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I'm like, what the fuck?

00:15:02.590 --> 00:15:04.850
I come out the heat like, man, how the fuck do

00:15:04.850 --> 00:15:07.029
you know where I live? How the fuck he find me?

00:15:07.580 --> 00:15:09.539
He knew where I was. They're resourceful. Crackheads

00:15:09.539 --> 00:15:11.179
are resourceful. Man, talking about something

00:15:11.179 --> 00:15:13.799
I needed. I almost killed him. I almost threw

00:15:13.799 --> 00:15:16.259
him off my porch, like literally, like Carlton.

00:15:16.580 --> 00:15:19.600
I mean, like Jazzy Jeff. Oh, yeah, man. I'm going

00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:21.200
to take him. Man, if you don't get the fuck out

00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:23.360
of here, my mama come up here and kill me. Dude,

00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:30.009
that's worst case scenario is your family. That's

00:15:30.009 --> 00:15:31.970
why, I mean, in Breaking Bad and those shows,

00:15:32.070 --> 00:15:34.289
that's why that's the moment where things go,

00:15:34.409 --> 00:15:37.090
their families involved. That's the worst. I

00:15:37.090 --> 00:15:40.830
don't want my family involved in this. My mom

00:15:40.830 --> 00:15:43.149
walked in here right now, that'd be like crisis

00:15:43.149 --> 00:15:47.809
level. I'd be like, damn. Be very quiet. I'd

00:15:47.809 --> 00:15:51.730
be like, man. I thought we have your mom on.

00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:55.159
Oh, for real? That would be crazy. I mean, I

00:15:55.159 --> 00:15:58.019
can picture it. I know you walk in and you're

00:15:58.019 --> 00:16:00.100
like, fuck it, huh? Or was it your uncle? I think

00:16:00.100 --> 00:16:02.960
it was my uncle. That's definitely a good series

00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:06.200
of Patreon shorts as family bread reviews. Oh,

00:16:06.200 --> 00:16:09.740
yeah. Get to know in that deep. Yeah, I mean,

00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:13.519
JJ's dad, your mom, and your uncle. My mom would

00:16:13.519 --> 00:16:15.379
come on. First of all, she's going to be lying.

00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:19.809
We get her and Mark. Get her a mark and watch

00:16:19.809 --> 00:16:22.029
Mark call her out for Jewish. No, because I had

00:16:22.029 --> 00:16:26.309
to fuck Mark up. Because he absolutely would.

00:16:27.879 --> 00:16:30.679
And look, I play about a lot of shit. Yeah, I

00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:32.799
feel that. I beat you in your ass. I feel that.

00:16:32.860 --> 00:16:35.039
You know what I'm saying? I mean, to a certain

00:16:35.039 --> 00:16:37.340
extent, you know what I'm saying? Right, no,

00:16:37.419 --> 00:16:41.360
yeah. But once you start getting loud. Or hurting

00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:43.960
her feelings. Yeah, you better sense when to

00:16:43.960 --> 00:16:45.940
stop because this hand will come across your

00:16:45.940 --> 00:16:47.899
face. I feel that. Yeah, we couldn't do that,

00:16:47.940 --> 00:16:50.259
man. Yeah. Be like Will Smith. And he got the

00:16:50.259 --> 00:16:54.940
click to. To stop itself. Not in a malicious

00:16:54.940 --> 00:16:56.960
way. He ain't doing it in a malicious way. I

00:16:56.960 --> 00:16:59.580
just don't think, yeah, I agree. Yeah, I know.

00:17:00.700 --> 00:17:03.299
No, that'll be fun. And then we get my little

00:17:03.299 --> 00:17:05.720
brother once he's in the Marines and has killed

00:17:05.720 --> 00:17:08.579
some people. We ain't in a war right now. I ain't

00:17:08.579 --> 00:17:10.339
gonna kill nobody. No, it's all gonna be drones.

00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:12.319
Yeah. And he's like, I don't think he'll be able

00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:14.079
to, he can't like see. He's allergic to peanuts.

00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:17.980
Ooh, no. They'll put him like fucking. They let

00:17:17.980 --> 00:17:19.539
a man when he's, they probably don't know. I

00:17:19.539 --> 00:17:21.279
don't know what they're going to exactly do.

00:17:22.380 --> 00:17:24.799
He's, he's gotten, I mean, he, there's, he's

00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:28.460
going to get in something in the military. I'm

00:17:28.460 --> 00:17:30.400
just glad, fucking, I didn't have any direction.

00:17:30.539 --> 00:17:32.720
I don't know what the fuck I was doing while

00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:37.359
I was doing drugs and comedy. So, yeah, fucking

00:17:37.359 --> 00:17:40.660
more power to him, dude. Hell yeah. Hegseth,

00:17:40.819 --> 00:17:48.180
I trust you. I trust you with his life. Shenanigans

00:17:48.180 --> 00:17:50.099
had some shit going on this week. We did a writing

00:17:50.099 --> 00:17:52.420
session. Oh, yeah. I saw that. Was that good?

00:17:52.660 --> 00:17:54.680
Yeah, yeah. I went to it. I want it. It was good.

00:17:55.420 --> 00:17:58.220
Goddamn. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. These guys are

00:17:58.220 --> 00:17:59.559
killing me, bro. Oh, dude, I understand. Take

00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:03.940
off the pain in the ass. It's the worst pain

00:18:03.940 --> 00:18:05.660
in the world. I ain't it, right? You're getting

00:18:05.660 --> 00:18:07.920
stabbed in the ass. Dude, Brandon, it's exactly

00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:09.500
what it feels like. It's like the booty warrior.

00:18:09.819 --> 00:18:12.549
I'm going to be real with both of you. I'm almost

00:18:12.549 --> 00:18:15.210
certain that both of you are talking about different

00:18:15.210 --> 00:18:17.910
things. No, I promise you. I promise you. No,

00:18:17.930 --> 00:18:21.130
dude. I know, I know. It's just in my head it's

00:18:21.130 --> 00:18:24.369
funnier if you both think you're talking about

00:18:24.369 --> 00:18:26.289
the same thing, but they're completely different.

00:18:26.670 --> 00:18:29.069
I was up at 2 a .m. just trying to fight it off.

00:18:29.170 --> 00:18:31.730
When Spider -Man was trying to get that black

00:18:31.730 --> 00:18:33.269
suit off, I remember that black suit. That's

00:18:33.269 --> 00:18:35.130
what I would like. Trying to squeeze it out.

00:18:35.190 --> 00:18:37.910
Just hurting worse. You can't even walk, right?

00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:45.440
Yeah, I got symbiote. Straight in my ass. Man,

00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:47.440
that shit real. And thighs. I got big thighs.

00:18:47.900 --> 00:18:50.019
Oh, yeah. Oh, they get on the inner thighs? Yeah,

00:18:50.059 --> 00:18:53.740
yeah, because, you know. I get acne. They haven't

00:18:53.740 --> 00:18:56.339
graduated to boils yet, but I've been back in

00:18:56.339 --> 00:19:00.119
my ass. I get a lot of acne for sure. See, I

00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:01.759
got to get a pepper booty or two, but it ain't

00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:04.420
that bad. And it's not. It's literally just.

00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:06.920
It has nothing to do with cleanliness or anything,

00:19:07.140 --> 00:19:09.339
because I shower daily. No, if you got hair.

00:19:09.539 --> 00:19:11.759
Yeah, hairs, the ingrown hairs will fuck you

00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:15.359
up. True. And I got a lot of it. Yeah, because

00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:16.799
you're not going to shave your ass every day.

00:19:17.220 --> 00:19:19.640
I don't shave. Have you ever tried to shave your

00:19:19.640 --> 00:19:25.170
ass? No. For wrestling, even? No. No, man. Oh,

00:19:25.329 --> 00:19:27.750
wait. What, are they going to scoop my ass? That's

00:19:27.750 --> 00:19:31.109
illegal. Whoever told you that. Whoever told

00:19:31.109 --> 00:19:33.990
you that. Aw, man. I thought, like, doesn't Adonis,

00:19:33.990 --> 00:19:35.609
like, shave everything because he works out?

00:19:35.690 --> 00:19:38.470
Isn't that a thing? No. Shout out to Adonis.

00:19:38.710 --> 00:19:40.509
Shout out. He for real does. I don't know if

00:19:40.509 --> 00:19:43.130
he shaves his ass. Sorry this is the first time

00:19:43.130 --> 00:19:45.930
we're talking about you. Okay, hold on. He has

00:19:45.930 --> 00:19:47.549
said this before or something? I just thought,

00:19:47.589 --> 00:19:49.910
well, I thought dudes that work out, like, JJ,

00:19:50.029 --> 00:19:52.650
didn't he shave everything? I doubt. Hold on.

00:19:52.869 --> 00:19:55.609
Did Adonis say that he shaves his body? No, no.

00:19:55.809 --> 00:20:00.250
He didn't. I thought I heard. Bodybuilders do.

00:20:00.390 --> 00:20:03.349
I just associated he works out a lot, and I just

00:20:03.349 --> 00:20:06.589
assumed. Associated shaving your body? Yeah.

00:20:07.190 --> 00:20:10.289
Don't they do that? No. I mean, professional

00:20:10.289 --> 00:20:13.069
bodybuilders do because it shows their definition

00:20:13.069 --> 00:20:16.660
more. Okay. So it's only if you're like super

00:20:16.660 --> 00:20:21.079
into it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's one perk

00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:22.759
of being a guy. You don't have to fucking shave.

00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:24.460
Adonis looks pretty good. He might be really

00:20:24.460 --> 00:20:26.579
into it. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I worked out.

00:20:26.579 --> 00:20:28.079
You're like a bronco. I didn't think about shaving

00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:30.559
my ass, no. Good. Because then it's like sometimes

00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:32.019
you might have to get help with that shit, man.

00:20:32.430 --> 00:20:34.470
What, shaving your ass? Yeah, because if you're

00:20:34.470 --> 00:20:36.269
not able to see that and you're trying to, like,

00:20:36.269 --> 00:20:37.970
wide it open at the same time while you're just

00:20:37.970 --> 00:20:39.509
cutting through there, man, you're going to cut

00:20:39.509 --> 00:20:40.849
something you're not supposed to cut. True, and

00:20:40.849 --> 00:20:42.710
you don't want it to be uneven. You would feel

00:20:42.710 --> 00:20:44.970
that immediately. Yes, yes, you would. I'm going

00:20:44.970 --> 00:20:46.930
to tell y 'all something. Don't ever shave your

00:20:46.930 --> 00:20:49.910
ass. I didn't shave it, but this is back when

00:20:49.910 --> 00:20:53.170
Nair was popular. Ooh, yeah, I know exactly what

00:20:53.170 --> 00:20:56.150
that is. I used it on my legs. So I was like,

00:20:56.269 --> 00:20:58.589
you know, my ass is so hairy. Instead of having

00:20:58.589 --> 00:21:01.450
dingleberries, you know what I'm saying? Well,

00:21:02.170 --> 00:21:03.990
I've never had those, but no, not too graphic.

00:21:04.750 --> 00:21:07.890
I would put Nair in it and then bam, wipe out

00:21:07.890 --> 00:21:10.349
all the hair. And it did. Instantly wipes off

00:21:10.349 --> 00:21:13.130
the hair. And then it just felt like my booty

00:21:13.130 --> 00:21:15.349
was wet the whole time. Oh, I hate that. And

00:21:15.349 --> 00:21:17.049
it was just like clicking together. Like I could

00:21:17.049 --> 00:21:19.750
hear it. Oh my God. I was like, never again.

00:21:19.950 --> 00:21:23.190
That's how those TikTok bitches do it. I think

00:21:23.190 --> 00:21:26.490
so. That's hot. I don't see how women like do

00:21:26.490 --> 00:21:29.470
that. It's just, it's unnatural. Well, they don't

00:21:29.470 --> 00:21:31.529
move a lot. Like the bitches that are doing things

00:21:31.529 --> 00:21:34.730
like that, they're not like. moving to where

00:21:34.730 --> 00:21:36.990
they'd hear it. Like, you know what I mean? They're

00:21:36.990 --> 00:21:40.609
like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I think

00:21:40.609 --> 00:21:42.589
men don't have to shave their ass most of the

00:21:42.589 --> 00:21:44.930
time. No, they don't. They definitely generally

00:21:44.930 --> 00:21:50.710
don't. Yeah. I made out with a bitch in her face.

00:21:50.829 --> 00:21:55.089
No, not recently. There was stubble on her face.

00:21:55.170 --> 00:21:59.089
Oh, okay. I didn't like it. Is it stubble or

00:21:59.089 --> 00:22:01.450
was it long? No, it's stubble. I know what stubble

00:22:01.450 --> 00:22:05.650
feels like. It wasn't hairy. You couldn't tell

00:22:05.650 --> 00:22:07.569
that it was hair. He said, I know what stubble

00:22:07.569 --> 00:22:12.269
feels like. Don't you question me. Man, I'm glad

00:22:12.269 --> 00:22:18.130
you got that knowledge, bro. Let's run that back.

00:22:18.809 --> 00:22:20.430
I don't want to see that. I don't want to hear

00:22:20.430 --> 00:22:22.970
that. Look at my face when I said that. I better

00:22:22.970 --> 00:22:25.970
raise my eyebrows. Then me, I'm kind of curious.

00:22:26.269 --> 00:22:31.069
I'm like, how? I rubbed my hands together while

00:22:31.069 --> 00:22:35.950
I said it. Oh, shit. Yeah, that was unsettling.

00:22:36.210 --> 00:22:40.130
Shout out. You're cool. I love you. Keep that

00:22:40.130 --> 00:22:42.690
shit trimmed. Yeah. Or, yeah, keep it freshly

00:22:42.690 --> 00:22:45.630
trimmed, like immediately before you touch me.

00:22:46.390 --> 00:22:49.690
If you're going to. Even wax. Wax. You have to.

00:22:49.750 --> 00:22:53.210
Sorry, women. Well. You don't have to do anything.

00:22:53.710 --> 00:22:59.890
Just if you're going to fuck me. That's respect

00:22:59.890 --> 00:23:03.930
right there. I couldn't do the facial hair. I

00:23:03.930 --> 00:23:07.470
know underarm hair is possible. I'm not talking

00:23:07.470 --> 00:23:10.789
about a little stubble. But if it's rowdy, come

00:23:10.789 --> 00:23:13.710
on, man. Now, if you're single, you do whatever

00:23:13.710 --> 00:23:17.190
you want to. But if we were dating and then you

00:23:17.190 --> 00:23:19.069
let it get too rowdy, there's going to be a problem.

00:23:19.170 --> 00:23:22.880
See, I'm in... From not having much experience,

00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:26.079
my gut tells me I'd be fine if it was hairy,

00:23:26.380 --> 00:23:28.539
but again, if there's stubble, that's crazy.

00:23:29.140 --> 00:23:31.240
There's going to be stubble, though. Only at

00:23:31.240 --> 00:23:33.079
the beginning. Let it grow out if you're going

00:23:33.079 --> 00:23:34.940
to let it grow out, but don't do that halfway.

00:23:35.119 --> 00:23:37.339
First of all, that has to be uncomfortable as

00:23:37.339 --> 00:23:41.799
shit. Second of all, I don't like stubble. Legs,

00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:43.339
too. Literally, just let your leg hair grow.

00:23:43.420 --> 00:23:45.799
I don't give a fuck. I don't want to feel stubble

00:23:45.799 --> 00:23:49.369
when I rub my hand up against you. I feel it.

00:23:49.430 --> 00:23:51.309
I dated some girls who really didn't have to

00:23:51.309 --> 00:23:52.950
shave their legs, and I dated some who had to

00:23:52.950 --> 00:23:54.950
do it, like, every day or every other day. If

00:23:54.950 --> 00:23:56.990
they wanted to, you know, wear something short.

00:23:56.990 --> 00:23:58.549
It's so sad, because the ones that do it, they

00:23:58.549 --> 00:24:00.930
don't have to. They just, when they were 12,

00:24:01.130 --> 00:24:03.670
they started. And what it is, what it is, is

00:24:03.670 --> 00:24:06.609
like when they have dark hair, body hair, and

00:24:06.609 --> 00:24:09.269
they're lighter. Yeah, they feel self -conscious,

00:24:09.430 --> 00:24:11.670
yeah. But sometimes, I mean, they all have hair.

00:24:11.769 --> 00:24:14.230
It's just sometimes it's blonde, and you can't

00:24:14.230 --> 00:24:16.470
see it. Mine are blondish. Mine are really light.

00:24:16.950 --> 00:24:20.750
Man, I'm like George the Animal Steel, bro. What?

00:24:21.269 --> 00:24:23.690
What is that? You guys never seen George the

00:24:23.690 --> 00:24:30.670
Animal Steel? Man, shit. I did plug the TV in

00:24:30.670 --> 00:24:33.089
if you have the remote. Oh, here it is right

00:24:33.089 --> 00:24:35.890
there. Okay. Yeah, man, dude. I don't know. This

00:24:35.890 --> 00:24:38.670
wrestler was shit. Oh, it did work. Oh, I turned

00:24:38.670 --> 00:24:46.130
it back off. My bad. Hell yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah,

00:24:46.170 --> 00:24:47.990
I do remember him. But see, that hair is obviously

00:24:47.990 --> 00:24:50.630
not stubbly. Yeah, damn sure it's not stubbly.

00:24:50.789 --> 00:24:52.849
That's soft. That's shoulder hair right there.

00:24:53.109 --> 00:24:56.049
But see, that's like that gross hair. A man with

00:24:56.049 --> 00:25:00.369
that's kind of gross. See, I got like... First

00:25:00.369 --> 00:25:03.630
of all, I forgot he said he's like that. I'm

00:25:03.630 --> 00:25:05.769
like, damn. You have white guy hair on you, though?

00:25:05.910 --> 00:25:08.509
No, no. Yeah, it's black person hair. That's

00:25:08.509 --> 00:25:10.269
cool. No, not nappy. We'll make sure that's looking

00:25:10.269 --> 00:25:13.160
good. Is it pubey? Is it wavy? Pubey? Nah. I

00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:15.759
straighten it out and brush it sometimes. You

00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:18.539
brush it? Yeah, my chest. Every once in a while.

00:25:18.660 --> 00:25:21.200
It probably helps with ingrown hairs, though.

00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:24.839
Oh, yeah, man. Do that with my ass, then. Just

00:25:24.839 --> 00:25:29.339
have an ass brush. Well, exfoliate. I mean, exfoliating

00:25:29.339 --> 00:25:33.579
would probably... I always hear, what is exfoliate?

00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:36.299
So, you use a washcloth, right? It's just like

00:25:36.299 --> 00:25:39.140
a towel material? My dermatologist told me that

00:25:39.140 --> 00:25:41.759
I can't use this. I used to use a washcloth all

00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:44.460
my life, but then he was like, I just can use

00:25:44.460 --> 00:25:50.079
bar or dove. Interesting. So I never used a washcloth.

00:25:50.140 --> 00:25:53.980
My grandma always used, it's like a towel, it's

00:25:53.980 --> 00:25:57.160
towel shape, but it's like almost like, it's

00:25:57.160 --> 00:25:59.160
not scrub daddy material, but it's like that.

00:25:59.180 --> 00:26:01.839
You know what I'm talking about? No, no, no,

00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:04.039
no. But it's like a towel. Yeah, yeah. A scrub

00:26:04.039 --> 00:26:08.019
towel. Scrub towel. Look up scrub towel shower.

00:26:08.819 --> 00:26:10.859
Because I was thinking about that like orange

00:26:10.859 --> 00:26:13.720
loofah. But yeah, or there's the ball, like kind

00:26:13.720 --> 00:26:16.740
of like the balls. Yeah. There's that too. Yeah,

00:26:16.799 --> 00:26:19.039
yeah, that. It's like just... Oh, okay. No, I

00:26:19.039 --> 00:26:21.740
never use one of those. I use that just to exfoliate.

00:26:21.779 --> 00:26:23.359
I don't know how much it actually... I've never

00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:25.380
noticed like a real difference, but people say

00:26:25.380 --> 00:26:29.680
exfoliating. Helps. Might try that. That's like

00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:32.220
scrub. See, think about when you go to doctors.

00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:35.259
My doctor told me that whenever I had my eczema

00:26:35.259 --> 00:26:37.000
outbreak. Yeah, so if you're a doctor, that might

00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.799
be different. Hold on. But it was like when I

00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:42.019
first got the eczema. This was over 10 years

00:26:42.019 --> 00:26:45.289
ago. And I just. I just abide it by that. But

00:26:45.289 --> 00:26:47.150
I bet if I go back to the dermatologist and ask

00:26:47.150 --> 00:26:48.529
them, they'd give me a different answer. It could,

00:26:48.630 --> 00:26:50.089
for sure. I'm noticing that every doctor will

00:26:50.089 --> 00:26:51.829
give you a different fucking answer. Especially

00:26:51.829 --> 00:26:54.210
with that amount of time in between, too. Like,

00:26:54.250 --> 00:26:56.009
they might literally have made breakthroughs

00:26:56.009 --> 00:26:59.670
or something. True. But yeah, no, you need a

00:26:59.670 --> 00:27:02.869
doctor to look in you and at you. I think, yeah.

00:27:03.029 --> 00:27:08.049
We should, like, follow you. And, like, you,

00:27:08.130 --> 00:27:14.259
like, Karen out. Like, look in. Look. Stare at

00:27:14.259 --> 00:27:15.920
it. Look at it. They just stare at you. Witness

00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:23.150
me. Look at my ass. You think it's a witness?

00:27:24.690 --> 00:27:27.529
Acknowledge me. That's the craziest shit. Acknowledge

00:27:27.529 --> 00:27:30.509
me. Acknowledge me. If we put that in a, like

00:27:30.509 --> 00:27:32.490
we have the asshole like talking to the doctor.

00:27:32.490 --> 00:27:35.589
Oh, my God. That would be perfect. Like annoying

00:27:35.589 --> 00:27:40.470
orange. Yeah. Yeah. Get PTSD from it. Oh, shit.

00:27:40.690 --> 00:27:42.750
That's that one night when that ass started talking

00:27:42.750 --> 00:27:46.829
to me. That's the next Brandon's black mirror.

00:27:47.049 --> 00:27:51.039
Look at me. That would be Brandon's worst nightmare.

00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:53.380
Yeah, it would. If my ass talked to me, man.

00:27:55.140 --> 00:27:58.819
I'd be saying some shit. I'd be saying some shit.

00:27:59.440 --> 00:28:02.200
Yeah, man. Yeah, doctors are crazy. They'll lie

00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:05.259
about your height, too, sometimes. Yeah. Will

00:28:05.259 --> 00:28:07.440
they? Yeah, like every doctor. I go to a lot

00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:09.940
of doctors. They all say different heights. I

00:28:09.940 --> 00:28:11.160
mean, I don't go to doctors. What do they say?

00:28:11.259 --> 00:28:13.299
What's the range? One time it was like, man,

00:28:13.579 --> 00:28:15.660
you're almost six foot. And then it was 5 '11",

00:28:15.660 --> 00:28:19.750
5 '6". 5 '6"? That's crazy. These aren't doctors

00:28:19.750 --> 00:28:21.809
you're going to. No, like, it's like... If they

00:28:21.809 --> 00:28:24.069
went from 5 '11 to 5 '6", Brandon, they're not

00:28:24.069 --> 00:28:26.529
a real doctor. They're not good. I mean, they're

00:28:26.529 --> 00:28:28.109
good. They're good. Somebody really said you

00:28:28.109 --> 00:28:29.769
were 5 '6". They're like, you're probably 5 '7",

00:28:29.769 --> 00:28:32.150
5 '6". I was like, oh, okay. What do they mean,

00:28:32.230 --> 00:28:35.789
probably? It's a... Because some people have,

00:28:35.930 --> 00:28:38.200
like, a thing hanging up. Like a little, like,

00:28:38.220 --> 00:28:40.279
little picture. You know those little. Yeah,

00:28:40.279 --> 00:28:42.819
to measure. Yeah. And sometimes it wouldn't be

00:28:42.819 --> 00:28:45.259
all the way down. Oh, my God. And sometimes they

00:28:45.259 --> 00:28:47.339
may have all placed it right or something like

00:28:47.339 --> 00:28:49.779
that. They don't have the right. It only goes

00:28:49.779 --> 00:28:52.940
up to four. Yeah. They just lift it up to make

00:28:52.940 --> 00:28:56.160
it look taller. Hold on, hold on, hold on. When

00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:58.000
you go to the doctor, you don't have the, like,

00:28:58.059 --> 00:29:00.140
you get on the scale and they do your height.

00:29:01.370 --> 00:29:03.349
Oh, well, I mean, I went to... I just tell the

00:29:03.349 --> 00:29:05.289
doctor. Whenever I go, I just tell them. They

00:29:05.289 --> 00:29:07.069
don't even measure me. I'm just like, I'm 5 '5".

00:29:07.069 --> 00:29:08.490
Well, I mean, I'm on the search for a doctor

00:29:08.490 --> 00:29:11.250
now. I grew my original doctor. So you were talking

00:29:11.250 --> 00:29:14.690
about a pediatrician. Oh, yeah. Yeah, after my

00:29:14.690 --> 00:29:19.950
mom was younger, man. Back in the day. They're

00:29:19.950 --> 00:29:22.130
like, Brandon, you gotta stop coming. Well, Brandon,

00:29:22.190 --> 00:29:24.250
you might have been 5 '6 back then. Oh, yeah,

00:29:24.329 --> 00:29:27.009
at the time, probably. I may have had a huge

00:29:27.009 --> 00:29:30.160
growth spurt, maybe. Yes! That's probably what

00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:32.180
happened. They just said to upgrade the records.

00:29:32.599 --> 00:29:34.960
It's so funny. But now I'm on search. I went

00:29:34.960 --> 00:29:39.859
to Happy Health. Who was that? Some like doctor

00:29:39.859 --> 00:29:43.680
place near Publix. I go to one, or I don't really

00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:46.740
go to one, but my parents are at one by where

00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:50.920
Jake lives down in South Huntsville. Okay. Balmoral.

00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:54.069
I don't know the doctor. Noterman. amy noterbund

00:29:54.069 --> 00:29:56.569
shout out hell yeah if you watch this you would

00:29:56.569 --> 00:29:59.130
love our stuff oh yeah dude we're medical mysteries

00:29:59.130 --> 00:30:01.710
yeah all around dude need big insurance for her

00:30:01.710 --> 00:30:05.470
um probably but i mean i i mean you can also

00:30:05.470 --> 00:30:08.250
go i think it was like 80 bucks when i went for

00:30:08.250 --> 00:30:11.730
just the yearly checkup dude you know what remember

00:30:11.730 --> 00:30:16.349
at the um the mic the open mic there was a doctor

00:30:16.349 --> 00:30:18.670
that was doing stand -up he's a retired doctor

00:30:18.670 --> 00:30:21.410
clearly an alcohol or drinking that night and

00:30:21.410 --> 00:30:23.750
uh probably seems like which one was it a wednesday

00:30:23.750 --> 00:30:27.509
when i wasn't there oh maybe i thought you were

00:30:27.509 --> 00:30:29.710
there but he was a doctor and he had like long

00:30:29.710 --> 00:30:33.289
gray hair and he his jokes were they seemed cool

00:30:33.289 --> 00:30:37.000
he seemed like right up our alley okay Hey, Shannon,

00:30:37.099 --> 00:30:39.039
I haven't met you. Yeah. Well, I don't think

00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:41.240
he's not doing comedy to do it. But we could

00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:43.140
have a segment. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:30:43.259 --> 00:30:44.920
That's what I'm saying. See if he'd come on.

00:30:45.420 --> 00:30:48.680
Like Dave Hanna used to. And check us out. Yeah,

00:30:48.700 --> 00:30:53.380
we get gloves. Oh, like Murr gets that done on

00:30:53.380 --> 00:30:55.640
Impractical Jokers. True. Gets like a catheter.

00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:59.119
Yeah, well, no. I'm good. No, I'm done. No, I'm

00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:00.940
never. The only time I want a catheter is if

00:31:00.940 --> 00:31:04.589
I'm about to die. I don't want a catheter. I'm

00:31:04.589 --> 00:31:06.490
sorry, man. I don't want enough of going up there.

00:31:06.670 --> 00:31:08.769
Was that the last? Did you just learn about those

00:31:08.769 --> 00:31:10.769
in class? Oh, no, no. I've known about it since

00:31:10.769 --> 00:31:12.569
I was a child, and I've always been like, that's

00:31:12.569 --> 00:31:14.569
my nightmare. Yeah, that is. That's my nightmare.

00:31:14.569 --> 00:31:16.789
That's one of the, seems like one of the worst

00:31:16.789 --> 00:31:19.829
things. And I heard some old people, like, not

00:31:19.829 --> 00:31:22.009
mentally up there, they'll rip it out. Yeah.

00:31:23.529 --> 00:31:28.670
Mm -hmm. Imagine that pain. You remember something

00:31:28.670 --> 00:31:30.009
for a minute after that. Make sure it's lubricated

00:31:30.009 --> 00:31:32.220
right. Maybe they're so crazy it feels good.

00:31:32.380 --> 00:31:34.359
No, it's not going to feel good, man. They're

00:31:34.359 --> 00:31:36.039
going to remember for a split second everything.

00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:43.500
It's going to fucking hurt. One moment. One split

00:31:43.500 --> 00:31:47.039
second of complete lucidity. Exactly. Look at

00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:49.319
what you've done to yourself. Something I never

00:31:49.319 --> 00:31:53.059
want. Never want. No catheter. I don't even want

00:31:53.059 --> 00:31:55.240
a fucking prosthetic exam. But we got to do it,

00:31:55.259 --> 00:31:58.079
Sal. Well, those are fine. That's not. The prosthetic

00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:00.579
exams? Yeah, with some dudes poking up in there.

00:32:00.940 --> 00:32:02.599
What do they do with the prosthetic exams? That's

00:32:02.599 --> 00:32:04.000
where they put their hand in your ass and make

00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:07.380
you cough, right? Oh, yeah. They put their hand

00:32:07.380 --> 00:32:09.859
up your ass so far you cough? Those little fingers.

00:32:10.019 --> 00:32:13.440
They be like, cough. And then you go over. Great.

00:32:14.460 --> 00:32:17.500
That's the best explanation I've ever heard for

00:32:17.500 --> 00:32:21.140
it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Anybody ever had

00:32:21.140 --> 00:32:23.599
it yet? I mean, shit, it's about to be closed.

00:32:23.700 --> 00:32:27.500
I'm 37. I got three years. They probably. He

00:32:27.500 --> 00:32:30.559
told me to cough when I went to jail. Shout out.

00:32:30.599 --> 00:32:32.240
I went to jail for a little bit. He told me to

00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:34.519
cough there. So you had nothing in your sphincter.

00:32:34.660 --> 00:32:39.700
Yeah, but why did. I understand. It's like obviously

00:32:39.700 --> 00:32:43.059
you flex. Well, not obviously, but what I think

00:32:43.059 --> 00:32:46.000
is you flex some sort of muscle down there when

00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:49.299
you cough. But why do they do that when they're

00:32:49.299 --> 00:32:51.400
medical examining you? Oh, because it opens your

00:32:51.400 --> 00:32:54.059
asshole. Like when you cough, doesn't that open

00:32:54.059 --> 00:32:58.099
your ass? I was just playing. They don't make

00:32:58.099 --> 00:33:00.859
you cough. Wait, they don't make you cough? No.

00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:04.619
Somebody told me that. That's in the balls. When

00:33:04.619 --> 00:33:06.359
they hold your balls, they make you cough. Yeah.

00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:09.519
Oh. Why? Because something's in my ass? See why

00:33:09.519 --> 00:33:12.279
they hold your balls and make you cough. Let's

00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:17.500
see. Yeah. I guess maybe it's the same. Is it

00:33:17.500 --> 00:33:19.779
for hernia? Let me get out of here. I think it

00:33:19.779 --> 00:33:22.799
might be. Because I guess maybe you flex the...

00:33:22.799 --> 00:33:25.119
Okay, same idea. You flex something when you

00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:28.680
cough. Okay. I'm just suspicious of the doctors,

00:33:28.779 --> 00:33:36.339
man. Like male OBGYNs. That sounds like something

00:33:36.339 --> 00:33:39.799
JJ would hate. Okay, so doctors sometimes examine

00:33:39.799 --> 00:33:42.079
the scrotum and testicles and ask patients to

00:33:42.079 --> 00:33:44.960
cough while doing so to check for an igneal...

00:33:46.460 --> 00:33:49.039
Igneal hernia, which is part of when the intestine

00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:51.839
pushes through a weak spot in the abdominal wall

00:33:51.839 --> 00:33:55.299
in the groin area. Hell yeah. Damn. That was

00:33:55.299 --> 00:33:56.839
less exciting. You never get a hernia. But that

00:33:56.839 --> 00:33:59.650
was right, hernia. Yeah, but they don't make

00:33:59.650 --> 00:34:01.309
you cough when they stick your head up your ass.

00:34:01.670 --> 00:34:03.710
Somebody told me that, man. I was like, really?

00:34:04.369 --> 00:34:06.849
You're going to have to cough, bro. Please start

00:34:06.849 --> 00:34:11.110
coughing when you get a prostate exam. Because

00:34:11.110 --> 00:34:13.369
first of all, it would start clenching on his

00:34:13.369 --> 00:34:19.309
fingers. It would be the craziest thing in the

00:34:19.309 --> 00:34:23.469
fucking world. I'll cough. Why not? I'll do it

00:34:23.469 --> 00:34:28.409
and make it look like an accident. My bad. I've

00:34:28.409 --> 00:34:30.849
done it. It's not comfortable. Wait, what does

00:34:30.849 --> 00:34:32.550
it do? Does it, like, make it even worse when

00:34:32.550 --> 00:34:34.309
you cough? No, because you clench in a weird

00:34:34.309 --> 00:34:35.650
way that you shouldn't probably. Oh, shit, so

00:34:35.650 --> 00:34:37.250
this is worse for me. You have coughed while

00:34:37.250 --> 00:34:38.690
your finger's been in your ass? Well, not while

00:34:38.690 --> 00:34:44.320
I finger. Not while a penis either. Okay. Let's

00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:48.320
move on. Let's move the fuck on. You all are

00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:50.719
judging me. No, I'm not judging at all, man.

00:34:50.980 --> 00:34:53.280
I want to cut the brain of his face when I said

00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:56.900
not a finger. You are completely good, JJ. Completely

00:34:56.900 --> 00:35:00.679
good. Learn something new every day about you,

00:35:00.719 --> 00:35:04.239
man. You never coughed while you're shitting?

00:35:04.809 --> 00:35:07.630
There we go. Good save. Yes, it is a good save.

00:35:07.670 --> 00:35:10.429
Because I have. Yeah, so. Just pay attention

00:35:10.429 --> 00:35:13.190
next time. And it feels, it's not right. Yeah.

00:35:13.250 --> 00:35:15.949
You got a premature cut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

00:35:15.969 --> 00:35:17.750
You don't want those. And that's, yeah, that's

00:35:17.750 --> 00:35:20.110
awful. Yes, they are. That's a hell of another

00:35:20.110 --> 00:35:22.289
10 wipes. It's like, I heard my favorite way

00:35:22.289 --> 00:35:24.610
to describe that with David Cho, the artist.

00:35:24.769 --> 00:35:27.909
He's on Joe Rogan. Sometimes he, he's like, when

00:35:27.909 --> 00:35:29.690
I shit and then I wipe, it's like wiping a marker.

00:35:30.449 --> 00:35:33.650
It never stops. And I'm like, yes, that's literally

00:35:33.650 --> 00:35:36.289
the perfect way to describe some shits. Now you

00:35:36.289 --> 00:35:39.469
see the blood. Yep. Now you keep on to the blood.

00:35:39.510 --> 00:35:40.730
It's almost gone. It's a color changer marker.

00:35:41.050 --> 00:35:42.789
But I ain't going to lie, eating those fiber

00:35:42.789 --> 00:35:44.889
gummies I got out there, because I got fiber

00:35:44.889 --> 00:35:47.010
gummies. I got a stool softener. Fiber gummies

00:35:47.010 --> 00:35:51.050
are great. Is it good? It tastes good, too. Yeah.

00:35:51.130 --> 00:35:53.889
I think it's been helping. Definitely the stool

00:35:53.889 --> 00:35:56.250
softener, because when I don't take it, you damn

00:35:56.250 --> 00:35:59.599
sure I can tell it. I got to immediately go in

00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:02.519
the shower and let that bad boy get hot water

00:36:02.519 --> 00:36:09.559
to it. Hell yeah, man. Hell yeah. But no, I was

00:36:09.559 --> 00:36:11.000
telling y 'all about it. We was at Shenanigans

00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:13.360
and did that writing session. Yes. And that was

00:36:13.360 --> 00:36:15.000
good. Like, you know, one of those things, if

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:16.579
you get one joke out of that, that's fucking

00:36:16.579 --> 00:36:20.099
great. I got a joke. I know a couple other people

00:36:20.099 --> 00:36:22.539
got good feedback. First of all, Mark Viola went

00:36:22.539 --> 00:36:27.619
hard on a couple people. It's like, Mark, You

00:36:27.619 --> 00:36:30.059
got to calm your ass down, boy. Damn, man. And

00:36:30.059 --> 00:36:32.199
he was not playing about this D &D thing. He

00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:33.440
was like, I'll talk to you outside. He's like,

00:36:33.500 --> 00:36:38.219
come outside now. Damn. We're supposed to be

00:36:38.219 --> 00:36:40.199
having a meeting sometime this week. I've been

00:36:40.199 --> 00:36:46.199
fucking dragging. But for the D &D thing, he's

00:36:46.199 --> 00:36:49.389
throwing out terms already. that he knows i don't

00:36:49.389 --> 00:36:53.090
know so it's gonna evolve like i can it's gonna

00:36:53.090 --> 00:36:55.530
be a documentary now i don't think it's it can't

00:36:55.530 --> 00:36:58.610
i don't think it's gonna be enough i don't think

00:36:58.610 --> 00:37:02.150
we're gonna be able to do like episodic i hope

00:37:02.150 --> 00:37:05.550
we'll record epic like sessions of play but i

00:37:05.550 --> 00:37:09.179
don't I think it's going to be the story of what

00:37:09.179 --> 00:37:11.480
happens between us. It's going to be itself.

00:37:11.820 --> 00:37:13.900
Just film the writing session. You'll have more

00:37:13.900 --> 00:37:16.900
than enough footage out of that. There's no way

00:37:16.900 --> 00:37:20.760
he ain't japping out. Damn, that's crazy. He

00:37:20.760 --> 00:37:22.760
was really wild in there. Oh, yeah, he was wilding

00:37:22.760 --> 00:37:29.159
out. He means his critiques. technically right,

00:37:29.260 --> 00:37:31.440
probably all of them. But it's just the way you

00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:34.460
say it. It'd be like somebody maybe didn't do

00:37:34.460 --> 00:37:36.480
a delivery well, and you could just be like,

00:37:36.579 --> 00:37:38.019
you know, you didn't do that delivery well. He

00:37:38.019 --> 00:37:41.519
was like, your delivery sucks. He says to Blake

00:37:41.519 --> 00:37:43.440
Russell, he's like, maybe if someone else delivered

00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:47.920
it, it'd be better. That's horrible. You sounded

00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:51.460
just like him. You ought to be like that. That

00:37:51.460 --> 00:37:57.079
was crazy. He said that. What the fuck? He said

00:37:57.079 --> 00:38:00.900
those words. You know, some people are meant

00:38:00.900 --> 00:38:07.980
to be car salesmen. Yeah. Yes. If he was a car

00:38:07.980 --> 00:38:09.860
salesman, he would get mad at you for getting

00:38:09.860 --> 00:38:12.000
the car he didn't pick out for you. Yeah, he

00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:17.719
would get mad that he sold. the car he didn't

00:38:17.719 --> 00:38:22.000
want. He'd be like, Walt, you bought the van

00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:23.280
because you needed it, but you could have got

00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:28.239
the SUV. But he's making more money. Just because

00:38:28.239 --> 00:38:31.900
he didn't pick it. Or if he tries to sell you

00:38:31.900 --> 00:38:33.719
something out of budget, you're like, I can't

00:38:33.719 --> 00:38:36.820
afford that. Maybe you should in a fucking cane.

00:38:38.519 --> 00:38:41.199
Poor ass bitch. I'm like, damn, man, I'm sorry.

00:38:41.780 --> 00:38:50.199
He throws papers at me. Shit. We need a car salesman

00:38:50.199 --> 00:38:52.639
friend. We do, man. Dude, we do. Oh, I got one.

00:38:52.900 --> 00:38:54.780
I was going to say, did you meet any last night?

00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:57.219
That seemed like a group of car salesmen friends.

00:38:58.159 --> 00:39:01.440
I'm sure one of them, I'm sure one of them sells

00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:07.380
in a lot with six cars. But it was cool. Rev.

00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:10.159
Shout out Deliciously Nothing. Deliciously Nothing

00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:13.719
went down and did their podcast last night. Well,

00:39:13.880 --> 00:39:17.349
I thought it was a show. So he's like, come down.

00:39:17.369 --> 00:39:19.110
Now I have to read the message again. Maybe I

00:39:19.110 --> 00:39:24.230
misread it. I can't wait. But so he's like, come

00:39:24.230 --> 00:39:26.250
down. That was the big tornadoes and shit happening,

00:39:26.329 --> 00:39:29.369
you know, on Saturday in Alabama and Tennessee

00:39:29.369 --> 00:39:32.670
region. And then so I was like, Kim was like,

00:39:32.789 --> 00:39:34.670
you shouldn't go. I was like, yeah, but it's

00:39:34.670 --> 00:39:36.929
a toga party. I had already purchased my toga,

00:39:36.949 --> 00:39:40.449
which was a badass one. And then, you know, it

00:39:40.449 --> 00:39:42.329
was my first time performing in Nashville. So

00:39:42.329 --> 00:39:44.929
I'm like, hell yeah, I'm going. I'm risking it

00:39:44.929 --> 00:39:48.170
for the biscuit. And I get there. I get the address

00:39:48.170 --> 00:39:51.309
out the text message. And then I get there. I'm

00:39:51.309 --> 00:39:53.590
like, hey, call him. I'm like, hey, dude, I think

00:39:53.590 --> 00:39:55.889
I pulled up the wrong. This is the house. And

00:39:55.889 --> 00:39:58.889
he's like, yeah, you see the blue lights? Come

00:39:58.889 --> 00:40:04.690
on in. So I come in. And then we're in the garage.

00:40:05.010 --> 00:40:09.130
And it's like. It's not the show like what I

00:40:09.130 --> 00:40:14.590
was thinking. It's a show like a show. Yeah,

00:40:14.690 --> 00:40:19.590
like a show on YouTube. Yeah, like a show. So

00:40:19.590 --> 00:40:22.230
it's all the comics in there. Because I was sitting

00:40:22.230 --> 00:40:23.550
there, I got in there, and I was like, I wonder

00:40:23.550 --> 00:40:26.230
where the audience is going to sit. Shout out

00:40:26.230 --> 00:40:28.829
David Freelander. Yeah, David Freelander was

00:40:28.829 --> 00:40:33.269
there. What's my Bivens? Oh, Matt Bevins? Blevins.

00:40:33.449 --> 00:40:35.769
Blevins. He's on it. Okay, hell yeah. And he

00:40:35.769 --> 00:40:39.230
was killing the goddamn on the couch, you know,

00:40:39.230 --> 00:40:41.070
because you do five minutes of stand -up and

00:40:41.070 --> 00:40:42.789
then you go sit and talk to him. And it's all

00:40:42.789 --> 00:40:45.809
live on YouTube. So it's a really cool concept.

00:40:45.909 --> 00:40:49.489
Just didn't register that's what was going on.

00:40:49.730 --> 00:40:54.550
But that's the best when... A guy doesn't know

00:40:54.550 --> 00:40:57.610
what that's the best. Well, it was four or five

00:40:57.610 --> 00:41:01.250
of us who had no clue. Who had no clue. Well,

00:41:01.369 --> 00:41:03.929
you know, we're just like, oh, okay. I love it.

00:41:04.090 --> 00:41:05.929
But, you know, it's a new experience and they

00:41:05.929 --> 00:41:10.489
were cool. they had this is what dude shout out

00:41:10.489 --> 00:41:12.190
andre i don't know his last name i didn't get

00:41:12.190 --> 00:41:13.889
any of their socials either because it wasn't

00:41:13.889 --> 00:41:16.050
like promoted because it was like the only people

00:41:16.050 --> 00:41:19.050
who would come is the comics girlfriend or boyfriend

00:41:19.050 --> 00:41:21.650
right it wasn't like promoted for the general

00:41:21.650 --> 00:41:24.849
public so uh so i didn't have his i don't have

00:41:24.849 --> 00:41:26.730
any of their social media but name was andre

00:41:26.730 --> 00:41:30.849
and he was a black dude with uh uh spider -man

00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:34.460
outfit on way too small, moose knuckle all out.

00:41:34.619 --> 00:41:37.260
And he was the first one. He was the first one

00:41:37.260 --> 00:41:39.980
to go up. And I was like, okay, okay. And then

00:41:39.980 --> 00:41:42.599
David went up, and it was cool. I went and did

00:41:42.599 --> 00:41:46.659
not go up. I did a couple of new jokes, but I

00:41:46.659 --> 00:41:52.420
like those new jokes. But then we sat on the

00:41:52.420 --> 00:41:57.119
couch and talked, and Rev got really into alternative

00:41:57.119 --> 00:42:04.449
medicine in the way of Molly. Oh, okay. That's

00:42:04.449 --> 00:42:09.989
interesting. Via Molly. Via Molly. It was a strong...

00:42:09.989 --> 00:42:11.909
I like it. It was a strong... He was passionate.

00:42:12.449 --> 00:42:15.510
He was passionate. So he's like you with Coke?

00:42:16.190 --> 00:42:18.409
Yeah, but see, I'm not that passionate about

00:42:18.409 --> 00:42:20.510
it. I don't ever have to do coke again in my

00:42:20.510 --> 00:42:23.969
life. I'm good. That's funny. I like it. Because

00:42:23.969 --> 00:42:25.869
what you're saying, like, I've heard people say,

00:42:25.969 --> 00:42:28.170
because, you know, I do agree with those goddamn

00:42:28.170 --> 00:42:31.590
SSRIs and shit. Like, that fucks you up. I mean,

00:42:31.630 --> 00:42:33.829
I know it could do its job for people who I know,

00:42:33.849 --> 00:42:35.650
if you're really, really, really depressed, that

00:42:35.650 --> 00:42:37.869
you take it. But, I mean, even if you do, if

00:42:37.869 --> 00:42:39.210
you didn't get it out of the natural way, it's

00:42:39.210 --> 00:42:40.769
doing other stuff to your body. You know what

00:42:40.769 --> 00:42:43.010
I mean? So I can understand somebody not wanting

00:42:43.010 --> 00:42:46.469
to take it. I just never heard Molly as the...

00:42:46.469 --> 00:42:49.449
That's the way. You know, people be like, I smoke

00:42:49.449 --> 00:42:52.789
weed or I do microdose mushrooms. Yeah, microdose

00:42:52.789 --> 00:42:56.010
mushrooms. Maybe go see Valhalla and take in,

00:42:56.110 --> 00:42:59.550
what does that shit Joe Rogan be doing? Ayahuasca.

00:42:59.869 --> 00:43:02.389
Smelling salts. Huh? Oh, we should get some.

00:43:02.550 --> 00:43:03.730
You say smelling salts? Yeah, because you're

00:43:03.730 --> 00:43:04.949
like, what did Joe Rogan do? I didn't know he'd

00:43:04.949 --> 00:43:07.110
be doing that. Yeah, but with the, yeah, the

00:43:07.110 --> 00:43:09.489
smelling salts doesn't make you see. Oh, okay.

00:43:09.969 --> 00:43:12.670
But if you did smelling salts while you were

00:43:12.670 --> 00:43:17.369
on Ayahuasca? Oh, my God. See, I don't want to

00:43:17.369 --> 00:43:20.730
do none of that. So you would do it? No, ayahuasca,

00:43:20.789 --> 00:43:22.489
I mean, I wouldn't want to be around anyone.

00:43:22.670 --> 00:43:25.090
Because I don't like being tripping like that.

00:43:25.150 --> 00:43:27.010
Don't they take you as like a whole shaman? Yeah,

00:43:27.010 --> 00:43:30.909
I don't like that. Get off me. I don't like nobody

00:43:30.909 --> 00:43:32.349
having control of me and I ain't got control

00:43:32.349 --> 00:43:34.210
of myself. Unless it's like I just have to have

00:43:34.210 --> 00:43:38.849
them control me. Fucking, nah. Put me in a different

00:43:38.849 --> 00:43:41.630
state of mind. Like, oh, we all saw this and

00:43:41.630 --> 00:43:42.710
it changed. But I don't want to change my life.

00:43:43.230 --> 00:43:45.829
Sounds like me too. That's what that sounds like.

00:43:45.869 --> 00:43:47.489
It sounds like you're fucking about to Me Too

00:43:47.489 --> 00:43:50.929
me, dude. Sounds familiar, yeah. I wake up, coughing,

00:43:51.170 --> 00:43:55.150
somebody's hand in my ass. What? What I was talking

00:43:55.150 --> 00:43:56.829
about, you said Me Too, so I was like, damn,

00:43:56.849 --> 00:43:58.389
man, if I'm getting altered and I don't know

00:43:58.389 --> 00:44:00.449
what's going on, then I phase back into reality

00:44:00.449 --> 00:44:02.650
and somebody messing with me. And your finger

00:44:02.650 --> 00:44:04.269
in your ass getting aggressive. No, not me, not

00:44:04.269 --> 00:44:06.510
me. Oh, no. I was talking about somebody else,

00:44:06.550 --> 00:44:09.750
and I'm like, oh, shit, Me Too. No, let's cut

00:44:09.750 --> 00:44:12.349
to that. Now, Brandon, we didn't need to sketch

00:44:12.349 --> 00:44:14.389
with Brandon with a puppet and the puppet just

00:44:14.389 --> 00:44:22.309
coughing. Brandon's hands in his ass. Yeah, man.

00:44:23.909 --> 00:44:28.610
Shit. You're all right. It has been. Yeah, man,

00:44:28.650 --> 00:44:30.809
that's crazy. I never heard somebody talk about

00:44:30.809 --> 00:44:33.179
Marley like that. That's wild. Yeah. Yeah, it's

00:44:33.179 --> 00:44:35.900
fun. It's unique. I like it. It was fun. There

00:44:35.900 --> 00:44:39.500
was this other, I can't remember her name. I

00:44:39.500 --> 00:44:42.619
could tell she was the most probably shocked.

00:44:43.900 --> 00:44:46.639
You know, because like, I mean, if you think

00:44:46.639 --> 00:44:48.809
about it, if you're... If you think about it,

00:44:49.010 --> 00:44:51.349
that's crazy. No, I don't know how it was pitched.

00:44:51.409 --> 00:44:53.570
I can't exactly remember. I know he's like, if

00:44:53.570 --> 00:44:56.409
you want to come down and do this show, and the

00:44:56.409 --> 00:44:58.349
dates and everything. So he probably did say

00:44:58.349 --> 00:44:59.909
it, and I was just seeing the show, and I was

00:44:59.909 --> 00:45:03.449
like, hell yeah, I'd do it on this date. He probably

00:45:03.449 --> 00:45:05.269
told you the name of it, and you could have looked

00:45:05.269 --> 00:45:10.510
it up. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's definitely on me.

00:45:10.929 --> 00:45:13.670
But you know what I'm saying? We're just fucking

00:45:13.670 --> 00:45:17.239
around. So he might have... He might have said

00:45:17.239 --> 00:45:20.239
it, but it was more than just me. You could tell.

00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:23.559
You could see the people's faces. I love that,

00:45:23.559 --> 00:45:27.239
though. That's interesting. It is. And it is.

00:45:27.300 --> 00:45:31.960
It's a good setup. He was talking about something

00:45:31.960 --> 00:45:36.000
he has going on on the 19th, I believe. Now,

00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:38.539
I know I'm doing something the 18th. Oh, 18th

00:45:38.539 --> 00:45:41.420
in April is me, Charles Hood, and Jake are doing

00:45:41.420 --> 00:45:48.280
our first 30 minutes. Together or each? Each.

00:45:49.719 --> 00:45:55.400
But that's going to be Millbrook, Alabama. J

00:45:55.400 --> 00:45:58.000
-Dub's the one me and Scott did that one. But

00:45:58.000 --> 00:46:00.659
look, for me, it'd be a little dicey because

00:46:00.659 --> 00:46:04.159
I did 20 there. Probably a little bit over 20

00:46:04.159 --> 00:46:08.219
because J -Dub's didn't like. And it's a small

00:46:08.219 --> 00:46:11.219
town. If they all just come to this show that's

00:46:11.219 --> 00:46:13.980
once a month, which is... Probably, you know,

00:46:13.980 --> 00:46:16.420
realistic. They've already seen 20 minutes of

00:46:16.420 --> 00:46:20.719
my shit. The good part. You know what I mean?

00:46:20.940 --> 00:46:23.820
That's funny. We'll rate you a new 20. Yeah.

00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:27.000
Shit, I need it. I did get two new jokes out

00:46:27.000 --> 00:46:31.460
of this week. Two new... Decently long, I mean.

00:46:31.860 --> 00:46:34.840
Add three minutes to the set. Add three minutes

00:46:34.840 --> 00:46:38.199
to it. All about animals, too. Inspired by the

00:46:38.199 --> 00:46:40.599
pot. It's all about animals. Yeah. What type

00:46:40.599 --> 00:46:43.380
of specific animal? Any specific animal? Dogs

00:46:43.380 --> 00:46:49.880
and donkeys. Perro y burro. For our Mexican listeners.

00:46:51.539 --> 00:46:54.119
So that's dog and donkey in Mexican? Perro is

00:46:54.119 --> 00:47:00.639
dog. No, gato is cat. Perro. Perro. I'm sorry.

00:47:00.679 --> 00:47:08.619
No, you're fine. Burro. Burro. Burro. U -R -R

00:47:08.619 --> 00:47:12.039
-O. I had a stroke. We can't be speaking this

00:47:12.039 --> 00:47:14.780
in Trump's America right now. How dare you all.

00:47:15.139 --> 00:47:19.219
You know what? Fuck. Burrow, man. No. I'm acting

00:47:19.219 --> 00:47:27.429
all brave and shit. I like donkeys, man. Doggies

00:47:27.429 --> 00:47:28.969
are the shit. They're the best animals. We were

00:47:28.969 --> 00:47:30.230
talking about it earlier. They're the best animals,

00:47:30.269 --> 00:47:33.190
ain't they? If I was reincarnated, that's what

00:47:33.190 --> 00:47:35.389
I'd want to be. After you explained it to me,

00:47:35.849 --> 00:47:37.829
I should be the king of the jungle. The joke's

00:47:37.829 --> 00:47:39.570
so good, I got him to change his name. Yeah,

00:47:39.570 --> 00:47:42.110
he really did because I'm like, dude, he told

00:47:42.110 --> 00:47:43.989
me everything they did. He told me everything.

00:47:44.170 --> 00:47:45.989
They're badass. I got it from that writing session.

00:47:46.289 --> 00:47:52.210
Hell yeah. It's how you go. First, you say a

00:47:52.210 --> 00:47:54.849
word, and we go around. It doesn't have to match.

00:47:55.030 --> 00:47:57.150
You just say a word, and when you hear a word,

00:47:57.190 --> 00:47:58.610
then you can riff off of it, giving you that

00:47:58.610 --> 00:48:01.210
little practice. Then we sat in a group, and

00:48:01.210 --> 00:48:06.510
we pulled out a name, one noun. Then we write

00:48:06.510 --> 00:48:08.650
for six minutes on it, and then you tell them

00:48:08.650 --> 00:48:10.449
to your group of four. Everybody breaks down.

00:48:10.590 --> 00:48:13.010
Then you do a set that you're working on up there,

00:48:13.070 --> 00:48:14.949
and then people give you feedback on it. That

00:48:14.949 --> 00:48:20.059
one can get... People, when people, other people

00:48:20.059 --> 00:48:23.679
are telling jokes, like you can't take into account

00:48:23.679 --> 00:48:25.340
what the joke before and what the joke after,

00:48:25.380 --> 00:48:27.500
what the audience already feels with them. So

00:48:27.500 --> 00:48:30.079
when they try to change your joke up, you know,

00:48:30.099 --> 00:48:33.199
a certain way, it doesn't always work. But as

00:48:33.199 --> 00:48:35.119
long as you know how to filter that out and then

00:48:35.119 --> 00:48:37.159
just take it. But sometimes I know a couple of

00:48:37.159 --> 00:48:39.730
people got. a couple tags out of that shit. And

00:48:39.730 --> 00:48:42.210
so that was good. But I did the donkey one. That's

00:48:42.210 --> 00:48:43.989
where I got, we pulled donkey out and I wrote,

00:48:44.130 --> 00:48:46.550
I actually got, I actually got like three on

00:48:46.550 --> 00:48:48.469
it. I'm only going to use one, but I'm pretty

00:48:48.469 --> 00:48:50.730
good. I don't want to see the other one. But

00:48:50.730 --> 00:48:55.110
donkeys are, donkeys are horses with fetal alcohol

00:48:55.110 --> 00:49:05.079
syndrome. You don't like that one? That's good.

00:49:05.659 --> 00:49:08.059
No, that's not the joke. That's not my donkey

00:49:08.059 --> 00:49:10.619
joke. My donkey joke is a whole bit. What was

00:49:10.619 --> 00:49:13.440
that? I'm not telling you. No, what was the fetal

00:49:13.440 --> 00:49:15.719
outcome? What was that? No, you just keep on

00:49:15.719 --> 00:49:18.539
writing them until, you know, I think I did like

00:49:18.539 --> 00:49:20.820
four on donkey. You got six minutes. Until you

00:49:20.820 --> 00:49:25.340
get something you can expand more on. Well, no,

00:49:25.420 --> 00:49:27.300
you just write for six minutes. So you got six

00:49:27.300 --> 00:49:29.019
minutes on donkey. You could do one stream of

00:49:29.019 --> 00:49:31.619
consciousness. I was doing jokes. So I wrote,

00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:34.980
I think, like five for the donkey, something

00:49:34.980 --> 00:49:36.619
for communication. I didn't do good on that.

00:49:37.559 --> 00:49:41.280
Kim had a good one on that. I'm going to use

00:49:41.280 --> 00:49:45.059
ChatGPT to do this. That's what I'll do. ChatGPT

00:49:45.059 --> 00:49:47.320
sucks at that. It does, dude. Creative writing,

00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:50.019
these things suck dick. You can't get none of

00:49:50.019 --> 00:49:52.869
that. They can do everything but that. Take over

00:49:52.869 --> 00:49:55.250
the world. Coding it can do. And that's what's

00:49:55.250 --> 00:49:58.090
scary about it is the actual, like, so I've been

00:49:58.090 --> 00:49:59.969
fucking with it with code. I don't really know

00:49:59.969 --> 00:50:02.590
how to code, but I've been trying to use chat.

00:50:02.650 --> 00:50:04.889
I've just been like, make this for me. And then

00:50:04.889 --> 00:50:07.429
I just paste it in and it does it pretty good.

00:50:07.570 --> 00:50:09.730
Wow. And like, so if you knew anything about

00:50:09.730 --> 00:50:12.929
coding and used it to like, I, and we're going

00:50:12.929 --> 00:50:15.409
to get to a point where like, I don't think it's

00:50:15.409 --> 00:50:17.030
going to take over, but there's going to be things

00:50:17.030 --> 00:50:22.409
that. It would make no sense without AI. If we

00:50:22.409 --> 00:50:24.150
looked at it without it, it'd be like, what the

00:50:24.150 --> 00:50:25.610
fuck are we looking at? We wouldn't know how

00:50:25.610 --> 00:50:28.949
to understand it. It's going to improve on pretty

00:50:28.949 --> 00:50:32.590
much everything. Not even just that. Everything

00:50:32.590 --> 00:50:34.969
is going to improve on because it's so accurate

00:50:34.969 --> 00:50:39.889
and all that. It's going to make a lazy generation.

00:50:40.570 --> 00:50:46.460
Which will make new problems arise. Like WALL

00:50:46.460 --> 00:50:48.900
-E. Yeah. That's what AI wants, though, man.

00:50:49.000 --> 00:50:51.079
I feel like they're going to take over. See,

00:50:51.239 --> 00:50:56.239
it's just human nature. If you have AI to do

00:50:56.239 --> 00:51:01.900
simple, mundane tasks or jobs that just take

00:51:01.900 --> 00:51:03.599
the jobs from people, then people are not going

00:51:03.599 --> 00:51:05.219
to do those jobs. They're only going to be in

00:51:05.219 --> 00:51:08.260
the tech. It's going to be a less physical generation.

00:51:08.539 --> 00:51:10.400
It's just flat out. There's no other way around

00:51:10.400 --> 00:51:13.659
it. because you have somebody you can you can

00:51:13.659 --> 00:51:16.320
know a guy never went to gym is in perfect shape

00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:17.980
because he fucking works construction all day

00:51:17.980 --> 00:51:20.840
you know what i'm saying like uh that's our like

00:51:20.840 --> 00:51:24.159
yeah like i've never worked out and i'm only

00:51:24.159 --> 00:51:27.159
fit because i move around because of jolly yeah

00:51:27.159 --> 00:51:29.920
it's clear when i don't have a job i like can't

00:51:29.920 --> 00:51:33.440
wait like it's that's ridiculous And did you

00:51:33.440 --> 00:51:36.079
see AI is already starting to fight people back

00:51:36.079 --> 00:51:37.760
and stuff, man? You saw that concert they had

00:51:37.760 --> 00:51:39.719
where the robot swung at somebody? In China?

00:51:39.780 --> 00:51:42.880
Yeah. They had to hold him back? Yeah. Yeah,

00:51:42.960 --> 00:51:46.760
man. Dude, I saw a TikTok. Speaking of AI in

00:51:46.760 --> 00:51:50.460
China, this ties in. It was about DeepSeek, their

00:51:50.460 --> 00:51:55.880
chat GPT. Apparently, so the whole story is they

00:51:55.880 --> 00:52:00.969
were able to make it pretty much. as good or

00:52:00.969 --> 00:52:03.909
a little bit better than chat GPT with less resources.

00:52:04.510 --> 00:52:06.969
Somehow we don't really know how we don't exactly

00:52:06.969 --> 00:52:09.690
know how we just know. I mean, I think we know

00:52:09.690 --> 00:52:11.809
exactly how, if we looked at the code, but we

00:52:11.809 --> 00:52:14.409
don't, it was really, it's an innovation. And

00:52:14.409 --> 00:52:19.250
so it was talking about like, and, and, but this

00:52:19.250 --> 00:52:21.230
is, it's public to the world. So there was the

00:52:21.230 --> 00:52:22.789
whole thing about the tech talk was like, you

00:52:22.789 --> 00:52:25.349
think this is our best. you think we released

00:52:25.349 --> 00:52:27.650
our best one to the public yeah all those other

00:52:27.650 --> 00:52:29.590
shit that we're not even talking about like was

00:52:29.590 --> 00:52:32.829
the whole gist of it yeah Damn. It's coming.

00:52:32.889 --> 00:52:35.110
It's going to come fast. Very fast. Hope I'm

00:52:35.110 --> 00:52:39.750
old and gone. Is it 130 years? Brandon, it's

00:52:39.750 --> 00:52:42.389
going to be here, like, tomorrow. I know, but

00:52:42.389 --> 00:52:43.250
I don't want that. It's going to be, like, in

00:52:43.250 --> 00:52:45.250
a year, dude. I don't want that, man. Maybe that's,

00:52:45.250 --> 00:52:48.289
maybe Trump's, like, Palpatine in Star Wars.

00:52:48.570 --> 00:52:51.090
Because, like, and originally Palpatine, like,

00:52:51.170 --> 00:52:54.429
the story is he, like, created the Empire over

00:52:54.429 --> 00:52:57.349
through the Jedi in order to protect the galaxy

00:52:57.349 --> 00:53:00.460
from a greater evil that was coming. So maybe

00:53:00.460 --> 00:53:06.119
Trump's doing all this shit. Maybe he does shit

00:53:06.119 --> 00:53:09.599
we don't even know about. Maybe the Mexicans

00:53:09.599 --> 00:53:19.360
are going to make AI take over. You're going

00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:24.159
the wrong way. I don't think they're the ones,

00:53:24.260 --> 00:53:26.940
man. Hey, Hawaii changed me, dude. They're MAGA

00:53:26.940 --> 00:53:30.159
down there. Wait, for real? Oh, no. That was

00:53:30.159 --> 00:53:31.139
going to confuse me to death. They didn't really

00:53:31.139 --> 00:53:33.079
talk about, I mean, no one talked about politics.

00:53:33.219 --> 00:53:36.320
They don't give a fuck about anything that goes

00:53:36.320 --> 00:53:37.940
on the mainland, which they shouldn't. Yeah.

00:53:38.019 --> 00:53:39.860
Because it's a totally different lifestyle. First

00:53:39.860 --> 00:53:42.360
of all, they had a fire there. Yeah. But, yeah,

00:53:42.440 --> 00:53:47.079
second of all, exactly. Yeah. And they didn't

00:53:47.079 --> 00:53:49.159
take care of them, all right? No, they didn't.

00:53:49.199 --> 00:53:51.380
Well, they were like, we didn't even know. People

00:53:51.380 --> 00:53:52.820
on the island were like, we didn't even know

00:53:52.820 --> 00:53:55.320
it was Lahaina that burned to the ground. That

00:53:55.320 --> 00:53:56.980
was the town that burned to the ground. The people

00:53:56.980 --> 00:53:58.380
where we were standing was like, yeah, we didn't

00:53:58.380 --> 00:54:01.000
even know because they cut off the cell. All

00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:03.539
communication was cut off. We didn't even know

00:54:03.539 --> 00:54:05.579
it burned down to the next day. And it's right

00:54:05.579 --> 00:54:07.480
over there. I'm like, that's fucking insane.

00:54:07.780 --> 00:54:11.219
Damn. That's crazy. It's like us finding out

00:54:11.219 --> 00:54:13.059
the redstone arsenal just burned up. We're like,

00:54:13.159 --> 00:54:17.730
damn. Or like Jake's neighborhood, or South Huntsville.

00:54:18.329 --> 00:54:21.329
They'd be like that more. Actually, yeah. And

00:54:21.329 --> 00:54:23.730
if the arsenal was a mountain instead. True.

00:54:24.789 --> 00:54:27.070
That's pretty much what it was like. I don't

00:54:27.070 --> 00:54:28.869
know if I told this on here, but whenever I was

00:54:28.869 --> 00:54:32.130
over there, whenever they said there was a ballistic

00:54:32.130 --> 00:54:34.670
missile coming in. Dude, our tour guide, shout

00:54:34.670 --> 00:54:37.510
out Lance, was talking about that. Go on. I was

00:54:37.510 --> 00:54:39.909
just over there. It was funny. Well, it wasn't

00:54:39.909 --> 00:54:43.570
funny, but like it was. I just remember, I want

00:54:43.570 --> 00:54:46.269
to say it was a Saturday or Sunday because I

00:54:46.269 --> 00:54:50.889
know I was hungover. Or I was sleeping in. And

00:54:50.889 --> 00:54:53.050
I hear, you know, you hear that, oh, room. Amber

00:54:53.050 --> 00:54:57.480
alert. And I look on the phone and it says. Incoming

00:54:57.480 --> 00:55:01.019
ballistic missile, this is not a test. And, you

00:55:01.019 --> 00:55:02.260
know, when you're looking at something, you're

00:55:02.260 --> 00:55:03.840
just waking up, your eyes ain't even all the

00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:06.480
way focused. I look at it, and then I put my

00:55:06.480 --> 00:55:08.480
ear up to hear what's going on outside. And I

00:55:08.480 --> 00:55:10.760
just hear my roommate getting cereal. And so

00:55:10.760 --> 00:55:12.500
I was like, that must be bullshit. And I went

00:55:12.500 --> 00:55:14.849
back to sleep. I swear to God, I went back to

00:55:14.849 --> 00:55:16.650
sleep for like 30 minutes. And then I was like,

00:55:16.750 --> 00:55:19.789
and I hear people outside. I hear stuff. And

00:55:19.789 --> 00:55:21.769
I look out and some people are like running out.

00:55:21.889 --> 00:55:26.530
I'm like, dude, we about to die. I swear I was

00:55:26.530 --> 00:55:29.869
like, and I was like, Ant, man, look that shit

00:55:29.869 --> 00:55:31.349
up. He was like, I'm looking up and saying it's

00:55:31.349 --> 00:55:34.599
real. I'm like, what? It's real. And you know,

00:55:34.639 --> 00:55:39.000
I didn't call anybody. I wasn't like, I was just

00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:43.980
like, damn. You were like, Pat. You were like,

00:55:44.019 --> 00:55:47.239
how Pat would react. That's confusing. Can we

00:55:47.239 --> 00:55:52.000
find, shoot. Can we find we right now? You think

00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:54.780
it'd be too intrusive? You think DoorDash is

00:55:54.780 --> 00:56:01.320
hopping? Get my last meal. Damn, man. Yo, so

00:56:01.320 --> 00:56:03.210
that would've hit. Would it have, like, took

00:56:03.210 --> 00:56:05.190
in that whole area? It probably would have, dude.

00:56:05.289 --> 00:56:07.369
That's what happened. Where it hit. Which island

00:56:07.369 --> 00:56:10.809
it hit. Why is it small? Oh, yeah. Why would

00:56:10.809 --> 00:56:12.650
it? It would have took. That depends on how much

00:56:12.650 --> 00:56:14.610
they got in there. But if they sent that big

00:56:14.610 --> 00:56:15.929
enough one to come over there, it's probably

00:56:15.929 --> 00:56:17.429
going to take a good portion of it up. Damn.

00:56:17.949 --> 00:56:19.650
I'm glad nothing happened, bro. That would have

00:56:19.650 --> 00:56:21.309
been. That would have been there. Yeah. Where's

00:56:21.309 --> 00:56:23.969
our Iron Dome, Trump? Where's our fucking Iron

00:56:23.969 --> 00:56:26.489
Dome? We need one. Where's our Iron Dome? Israel

00:56:26.489 --> 00:56:28.789
has a missile defense system. They call it the

00:56:28.789 --> 00:56:31.429
Iron Dome. It's not literally an Iron Dome, but

00:56:31.429 --> 00:56:34.150
it intercepts missiles before they... That's

00:56:34.150 --> 00:56:36.590
dope. Yeah, with crazy accuracy. It's crazy.

00:56:37.110 --> 00:56:40.630
It's actually a Jew's... Too bad nobody can buy

00:56:40.630 --> 00:56:42.789
it normally. You just put it on top of your house

00:56:42.789 --> 00:56:45.110
just in case. Yeah. That's a good investment,

00:56:45.190 --> 00:56:47.110
I think. I think so. I would put my whole life

00:56:47.110 --> 00:56:48.710
favor on that shit. Yeah, because it probably

00:56:48.710 --> 00:56:52.050
costs you a good couple million. Yeah, a couple.

00:56:52.570 --> 00:56:56.019
That's actually good. I would... I've been really

00:56:56.019 --> 00:56:59.619
into internet security a lot recently in the

00:56:59.619 --> 00:57:01.659
last few years. And I recently saw a YouTube

00:57:01.659 --> 00:57:05.320
video. There was this tech guy in San Francisco

00:57:05.320 --> 00:57:09.199
that got stabbed in the street. And he was talking

00:57:09.199 --> 00:57:12.340
about how people should protect yourself, essentially,

00:57:12.440 --> 00:57:14.119
self -defense. And I'm like, that's so interesting.

00:57:14.579 --> 00:57:21.559
You need security, physicals. Most important.

00:57:21.699 --> 00:57:24.179
Oh, yeah. Without that, you literally have nothing.

00:57:24.480 --> 00:57:26.780
Your life's gone. Like, yeah, it's crazy. It

00:57:26.780 --> 00:57:29.260
changed my perspective. Yeah, you got to learn

00:57:29.260 --> 00:57:31.119
how to fuck a nigga up. True. Yeah, it's getting

00:57:31.119 --> 00:57:32.980
crazy. Like, I've also been seeing a lot of crazy

00:57:32.980 --> 00:57:35.579
road rape videos in Florida. Like, sadly, they

00:57:35.579 --> 00:57:37.820
had one. This one hurt my soul because it was

00:57:37.820 --> 00:57:40.039
like this dude was arguing with this one truck,

00:57:40.119 --> 00:57:42.079
and then he just drove past him and shot up the

00:57:42.079 --> 00:57:44.260
car. And then when they found out, he killed

00:57:44.260 --> 00:57:46.519
the wife, and it was her 46th birthday, and she

00:57:46.519 --> 00:57:49.789
literally just left the birthday party. And then

00:57:49.789 --> 00:57:52.190
injured his daughter and stuff. The dude just

00:57:52.190 --> 00:57:54.730
sitting there just wondering what would happen.

00:57:54.929 --> 00:57:57.250
And then the dude, who knows if he's going to

00:57:57.250 --> 00:57:59.150
get a fair trial. He might just get right out.

00:57:59.969 --> 00:58:02.309
And that was wild. Then another one happened

00:58:02.309 --> 00:58:04.849
after that where this dude was driving with his

00:58:04.849 --> 00:58:06.750
friend. And then the dude jumped in front of

00:58:06.750 --> 00:58:08.510
him and then pulled out his gun. And as soon

00:58:08.510 --> 00:58:09.889
as he pulled out his gun, he pulled out his gun

00:58:09.889 --> 00:58:12.010
and shot through the windshield straight in front

00:58:12.010 --> 00:58:13.949
of him. I seen that one. I seen that one. It's

00:58:13.949 --> 00:58:17.769
getting crazy. Nobody wants to fight. We got

00:58:17.769 --> 00:58:21.090
to get with a goddamn ace. Oh, did Ace talk to

00:58:21.090 --> 00:58:23.449
you? Oh, yeah. So I need to hit him up. I told

00:58:23.449 --> 00:58:26.010
him I'd tell him. Yeah, hit him up. Because so

00:58:26.010 --> 00:58:30.150
far we're good for me, you, Scott, and Jake.

00:58:30.329 --> 00:58:32.090
And I think he had like two more people. He had

00:58:32.090 --> 00:58:36.070
like Raina or Sierra or something. So, yeah,

00:58:36.190 --> 00:58:38.070
I got to ask. Because I keep telling him, I was

00:58:38.070 --> 00:58:40.210
like, lock down the date. We'll get you comedians.

00:58:40.230 --> 00:58:44.289
Yeah. Shout out to Ace. He's putting on. apartment

00:58:44.289 --> 00:58:47.949
shows following the steps of big bro. Isn't that

00:58:47.949 --> 00:58:52.469
funny? They're going to start beefing. But it's

00:58:52.469 --> 00:58:56.809
going to be one -sided and it's going to be silver.

00:58:57.559 --> 00:59:00.900
Beeping with Ace and Ace not knowing what's going

00:59:00.900 --> 00:59:04.019
on. I love it. But I love that. That's beautiful.

00:59:04.079 --> 00:59:05.699
I don't think Jonathan would get mad at him.

00:59:05.800 --> 00:59:07.219
No, not literally. Yeah, because it's enough

00:59:07.219 --> 00:59:11.079
out there for everybody. True. Yeah, apartments

00:59:11.079 --> 00:59:14.260
come up in Huntsville every fucking day. Oh,

00:59:14.260 --> 00:59:16.840
yeah. So many empty ones, too. It's just crazy.

00:59:17.039 --> 00:59:19.300
And I bet even the managements are different.

00:59:19.340 --> 00:59:21.199
Some of the ones that Jonathan did the first

00:59:21.199 --> 00:59:24.559
round of them, I bet the management's different.

00:59:25.039 --> 00:59:29.289
Oh, yeah. True. You can go back and double up

00:59:29.289 --> 00:59:32.289
or whatever. Hell yeah. That shit good. That's

00:59:32.289 --> 00:59:36.550
one of the places you can do 10 minutes consistently.

00:59:38.530 --> 00:59:40.550
That shit help you out. Yeah, I don't hear about

00:59:40.550 --> 00:59:44.730
that type of thing. We don't advertise it because

00:59:44.730 --> 00:59:47.230
it is sort of private or shows. I don't hear

00:59:47.230 --> 00:59:49.590
it. That's not a type of show you hear about.

00:59:49.630 --> 00:59:52.789
No. Because it's like a step down from corporate

00:59:52.789 --> 00:59:56.489
gigs. Not step down. It's a funner. It's a funner,

00:59:56.489 --> 00:59:58.550
but less pay. Yeah, it's like in between corporate

00:59:58.550 --> 01:00:01.949
and a show, a regular show. Yeah. Because you

01:00:01.949 --> 01:00:03.530
get, you know, people are coming down there.

01:00:03.650 --> 01:00:05.449
And that's why Jonathan, I mean, he has that

01:00:05.449 --> 01:00:08.230
shit down to a sign on which day to have it because

01:00:08.230 --> 01:00:11.300
I've been on both. I've been on some on. The

01:00:11.300 --> 01:00:13.599
weekends and the weekends aren't a strong. Well,

01:00:13.619 --> 01:00:15.639
yeah, because the because people are out. You're

01:00:15.639 --> 01:00:17.500
right. The apartments want to do it on days where

01:00:17.500 --> 01:00:19.139
they know their people are in. Yeah, exactly.

01:00:19.360 --> 01:00:21.960
And that's smart. And that's you get people there.

01:00:22.039 --> 01:00:24.000
They're usually good crowds. You know, a lot

01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:25.599
of them don't like a couple of them don't like

01:00:25.599 --> 01:00:28.699
me. But that's one of those. It's kind of like

01:00:28.699 --> 01:00:31.000
the small town ones were like, that's what is

01:00:31.000 --> 01:00:33.940
going on there. And that's what's in their world.

01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:36.500
Like they live there. That's their world. So

01:00:36.500 --> 01:00:38.719
they're going to, you know, there are that type

01:00:38.719 --> 01:00:40.960
of person that will just come. to whatever and

01:00:40.960 --> 01:00:43.300
enjoy it. Yeah. That shit. True, because that's

01:00:43.300 --> 01:00:44.980
like a big event. Mm -hmm. Like, they're like,

01:00:45.079 --> 01:00:47.159
oh, shit, we got this, we never have that. Yep.

01:00:47.159 --> 01:00:49.480
So you go down there. Comedy. Yeah. Your boy's

01:00:49.480 --> 01:00:53.480
got to get your minutes set because Spoke, who

01:00:53.480 --> 01:00:57.639
I do a joke, it's called Probably Is, and it's

01:00:57.639 --> 01:01:00.099
inspired by my boy Spoke DeLeon, the one and

01:01:00.099 --> 01:01:03.280
only. And he was like, yeah, they be having comedians

01:01:03.280 --> 01:01:06.559
down here at Castle Ridge. It's a small town,

01:01:06.619 --> 01:01:08.340
like a very small town, but they do have like

01:01:08.340 --> 01:01:11.570
this event. Send him to the castle. Oh, yeah,

01:01:11.570 --> 01:01:13.849
yeah. And he was like, you'll never be having

01:01:13.849 --> 01:01:17.010
no black comics. But you come down here, you

01:01:17.010 --> 01:01:20.070
sell that thing out. We'll all go see you. If

01:01:20.070 --> 01:01:23.329
we go down there, though, we could fuck them

01:01:23.329 --> 01:01:25.809
up. Dan would have to headline. I think they

01:01:25.809 --> 01:01:31.530
would eat Dan apart. Everyone should. In my opinion,

01:01:31.590 --> 01:01:33.809
everyone should be. Oh, yeah, Dan's the shit.

01:01:33.869 --> 01:01:37.170
Dan is the shit. But he can mingle with that.

01:01:37.389 --> 01:01:41.409
He can, like. He would eat it up. Dan would be

01:01:41.409 --> 01:01:43.250
walking around, hey, I love when Dan, nothing's

01:01:43.250 --> 01:01:47.110
better than when Dan kills. Because I feel happy.

01:01:47.210 --> 01:01:50.869
I don't know why, when he kills, he's just walking

01:01:50.869 --> 01:01:52.929
around, he's floating, he's like. It's because

01:01:52.929 --> 01:01:55.170
he started to drink after he got off the stage.

01:01:55.489 --> 01:01:59.429
He finally has a drink. A little tipsy. Feeling

01:01:59.429 --> 01:02:03.250
like he's on top of the world. Hell yeah. Damn

01:02:03.250 --> 01:02:04.989
Price, shout out. Hell yeah. Let me give him

01:02:04.989 --> 01:02:09.849
applause. Keep moving. Before we roll, so y 'all

01:02:09.849 --> 01:02:13.530
were gone on Wednesday for the great Fat Sammy's

01:02:13.530 --> 01:02:16.030
Black Panther Hidden Dragon. Yeah, I heard something,

01:02:16.030 --> 01:02:19.570
yeah. So we get there, right? First of all, there's

01:02:19.570 --> 01:02:21.909
two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen

01:02:21.909 --> 01:02:25.070
in Huntsville there. One, Jake was riffing on

01:02:25.070 --> 01:02:27.050
them, and one looked like, he said she looked

01:02:27.050 --> 01:02:30.800
like Halloween. She was goth, but the other one

01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:33.659
was with pink and green on, and he was like,

01:02:33.760 --> 01:02:36.460
you just met Easter, and they both were drop

01:02:36.460 --> 01:02:39.960
-dead gorgeous, right? Now, whenever I went up

01:02:39.960 --> 01:02:41.500
there, I talked to the other two that were next

01:02:41.500 --> 01:02:43.619
to him who weren't as hot, but they still looked

01:02:43.619 --> 01:02:48.690
good. Hey, I know my place. All right. Well,

01:02:48.769 --> 01:02:51.429
Jake doesn't. It's the moral of the story. He

01:02:51.429 --> 01:02:54.849
definitely doesn't. But Jake went up there, and

01:02:54.849 --> 01:02:57.389
he did good on the riffing at first, and then

01:02:57.389 --> 01:02:58.750
it went down. We were talking about it. We're

01:02:58.750 --> 01:03:01.469
like, we're doing all new shit. So my plan was...

01:03:02.510 --> 01:03:05.090
I write five minutes. I've never done this before

01:03:05.090 --> 01:03:07.869
on one topic and try to do that. So I go up,

01:03:07.989 --> 01:03:10.570
and Charles goes right before me. It doesn't

01:03:10.570 --> 01:03:12.929
go well for Charles either. Hood? Charles Hood,

01:03:13.010 --> 01:03:17.349
yeah. It was a real struggle, and I was like,

01:03:17.369 --> 01:03:19.150
damn, so I got to get their attention. And I

01:03:19.150 --> 01:03:20.789
did. I got their attention. That was the hard

01:03:20.789 --> 01:03:23.789
part. I got them in there. I'm like, I'm doing

01:03:23.789 --> 01:03:25.969
a joke. The whole thing was on my mom, so I was

01:03:25.969 --> 01:03:28.289
like, I'm going to start off with my mom called

01:03:28.289 --> 01:03:32.110
us niggas. I'm going to start off. start off

01:03:32.110 --> 01:03:35.070
with that in that joke i have a a part where

01:03:35.070 --> 01:03:38.550
i ask him you know if um what they think I am,

01:03:38.590 --> 01:03:40.829
what kind of race they think I am. And I asked

01:03:40.829 --> 01:03:43.110
this one girl and she was like, just right. And

01:03:43.110 --> 01:03:48.989
I was like, Oh, I said, what? Strategy worked.

01:03:50.090 --> 01:03:57.849
Did you talk to her after? So, so, so she said,

01:03:57.949 --> 01:03:59.690
just right. I'm like, I'm like, Oh, not that

01:03:59.690 --> 01:04:02.909
I'll play it off. Oh, I didn't think I was going

01:04:02.909 --> 01:04:05.489
to get that. And then everybody's listening for,

01:04:05.590 --> 01:04:08.880
and, uh, It probably only happened before that.

01:04:08.960 --> 01:04:11.340
I was like, safe comment. Maybe when Charlie

01:04:11.340 --> 01:04:13.320
was up, Charlie did really good. So he was pretty

01:04:13.320 --> 01:04:16.440
much the only one to get him before that. And

01:04:16.440 --> 01:04:19.320
then, so I had them all listening. And I said

01:04:19.320 --> 01:04:21.280
to Judy, I said, I said, I'm better than you.

01:04:21.599 --> 01:04:25.460
It's in a different kind of way. No, it's just

01:04:25.460 --> 01:04:28.260
a joke. But I was talking about Germany juice.

01:04:28.260 --> 01:04:33.159
You said you're better than juice. Hey. Not a

01:04:33.159 --> 01:04:36.579
first time ever. Sometimes I get girls or sometimes

01:04:36.579 --> 01:04:39.079
I get other things. But first time ever, it was

01:04:39.079 --> 01:04:41.800
silence. And I just looked up and it almost took

01:04:41.800 --> 01:04:43.800
my knees out like I did. It happens with you

01:04:43.800 --> 01:04:46.739
sometimes. Yeah. And when you say it, some audiences,

01:04:46.980 --> 01:04:51.340
it's happened. Yeah. And it was. it was crazy

01:04:51.340 --> 01:04:54.159
because I got them on the hook to lose them so

01:04:54.159 --> 01:04:56.000
fast. And then it was almost like, you know,

01:04:56.019 --> 01:04:57.780
when you're in a movie and like somebody walks

01:04:57.780 --> 01:04:59.960
through the door and then everybody just goes

01:04:59.960 --> 01:05:01.559
about their day. So everybody just started talking

01:05:01.559 --> 01:05:02.659
to him. Like, we don't need to listen to any

01:05:02.659 --> 01:05:06.079
more of this. And the girl like, look so disappointed.

01:05:06.239 --> 01:05:08.360
There was her and her friend. And then I come

01:05:08.360 --> 01:05:10.900
off, I come off the stage and I'm, and Raina's

01:05:10.900 --> 01:05:12.940
like, you better go talk to her. And I'm like,

01:05:13.139 --> 01:05:17.210
I'm like, I'm like, Raina. I just fucking bombed.

01:05:17.250 --> 01:05:20.150
She said her exact words. Nothing's more confident

01:05:20.150 --> 01:05:22.449
than a man who just bombed and will still go

01:05:22.449 --> 01:05:24.210
talk to you. So I'm like, you know what, Raina,

01:05:24.289 --> 01:05:26.550
you're right. I went over there. I tried to tap.

01:05:26.610 --> 01:05:28.150
I was like, hey, how you doing? She turned her

01:05:28.150 --> 01:05:31.869
head. She turned her head on me. And I just looked

01:05:31.869 --> 01:05:34.230
back at Raina behind. I was like, I'm going to

01:05:34.230 --> 01:05:38.170
kill you. I cannot believe it. I knew it. I was

01:05:38.170 --> 01:05:40.449
like, I was like, I see. Raina didn't get to

01:05:40.449 --> 01:05:42.530
see her face. I seen her face soon as I said

01:05:42.530 --> 01:05:47.639
that. From smile to. And I still try to, but

01:05:47.639 --> 01:05:50.940
it was a good time. That's what you need. Reina's

01:05:50.940 --> 01:05:52.800
like, every time I've bobbed and hit on a woman,

01:05:52.880 --> 01:05:54.860
I've succeeded. It's like, Reina, it's because

01:05:54.860 --> 01:05:58.880
you're fucking, look at you. Yeah, man. Son of

01:05:58.880 --> 01:06:02.500
a bitch. Shout out, Reina. Shout out. Hey, but

01:06:02.500 --> 01:06:06.519
you don't lose. You only lose what you try. I

01:06:06.519 --> 01:06:08.780
don't know. You miss 100 % of the shots you don't

01:06:08.780 --> 01:06:12.019
take. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott. Hell yeah.

01:06:13.480 --> 01:06:17.340
Basketball, man. Alright, y 'all. That was the

01:06:17.340 --> 01:06:19.400
episode. Hell yeah. It was a good episode. We're

01:06:19.400 --> 01:06:22.440
back, baby. We're back. Back to it. My ass hurts.

01:06:23.900 --> 01:07:02.739
My ass too. Hate Scrappy -Doo.