This week on Clown College.
Listen, look at my head.
Look at it. Look at it!
Good effort.
Alright, imagine that there.
Yeah, man, you're not getting anywhere.
I definitely trim back. Yeah, no, I can't live in the South and not.
You got to.
No.
Because it can get swampy down there.
Swampy, marshy.
Brash.
I like this. I like this. How do you describe it?
How would I describe it? I guess like a wrestler.
Like wrestle, wrestle, like wrestle, rough.
Tough.
It's like a jungle, you know what I mean?
It's rustling, like you're rustling in the wind, fighting the vines that are all tangled to you in the woods.
What word are you trying to get to?
Okay, so you know when you're in the woods and there's like vines like Indiana Jones that are kind of wrapping around you.
No, no, none of us live in a tropical jungle.
I know, but we've seen the movie and you try to move or something and you're like, oh shit, I'm kind of trapped.
And you got to get that machete and hack off all like those vines and stuff.
Like Jumanji.
You're rustling. So that's why I was like, rustle.
Let's all go to college baby.
It's with Brandon Willis, Don and JJ.
I've been as high as 289.
Oh, damn.
Damn.
Yeah.
What?
How'd you look?
Do you have pictures of that?
Not that you'll ever see.
And you did it without pork.
Oh no, there was definitely a lot of pork in that.
That was, what?
Do you know me?
That's the only reason I made a kosher meal.
That meal wasn't kosher.
It wasn't?
You made it.
What makes it not kosher?
What does kosher mean?
The taste.
What does kosher mean?
Yeah, what does kosher mean?
Kosher just applies to the laws of food.
Like what you can and can't eat and what sorts of things can and can't be had together.
So like all chicken's not kosher.
It has to be.
No, all chicken's kosher.
All chicken is kosher.
Yeah, because that's the way you make it.
Yeah, all chicken has kosher.
They do.
And honestly, the downfall of this country is not recognizing that.
You know, I don't want to sound woke or anything,
but I feel like we need to do more to really accentuate chicken culture in our society.
The only ones who do is black people, chicken heads.
So anyway.
Maybe try suspenders.
The belt ain't working.
He thought you were still talking about chickens.
Dom, I struggle with that too, honestly.
The belt?
Yeah, like my belt hurts right now, but that's because I have pants that are quite bigger.
I just got to say that.
I got to get some more pants.
I need more pants to save up.
We'll get some more.
Yeah, we'll get you some.
We got you some pants coming up for this exciting thing we got coming for Christmas.
We got you some good pants that are yellow.
Okay, I like that.
I like yellow.
Very form-fitting.
Like elves kind of.
Actually, exactly like that.
And some big red shoes and a red wig and some more face paint.
Basically, you're Ronald McDonald.
That's what I'm thinking, man.
Killing people with E. coli with the Big Mac.
That's good.
Remember that?
Yeah, the quarter pounder thing?
The quarter pounder, too.
They were like, damn.
That's my favorite meal, man.
Fuck.
Quarter pounder, double with cheese and onions.
Did you ever hear the story about the supremacy of the quarter pounder?
No.
What happened?
That was all that I had.
So, A&W, they used to, in addition to making mediocre root beer, they used to actually
have fast food places, and they wanted to compete with and overtake McDonald's.
So, they introduced a one-third pound burger for the same price as the quarter pounder.
They put everything into it to try to grab market share.
Nobody ate there because they didn't realize that one-third was more than a quarter.
Wow.
Americans.
They're slow.
Yeah.
They?
Man, yeah.
No, I'm a genius, man.
Right?
Yeah, I know.
Wait, hold on, wait.
I want everybody to look and say Brandon is a genius.
Okay, genius.
I wasn't commenting on your genius.
Thank you.
You refer to Americans as they.
That's all that's... No, the only reason I was saying it was because the dude at my
job told me nobody else was going to call me a genius, and I am a genius.
We're all going to say it.
Brandon is a genius with numerous foreign connections.
Thank you.
Some of which are questionable.
Thank you.
All right.
Let's get back to this quarter pounder.
He's crazy.
He just had his Kanye moment.
We're all geniuses in our own way.
Bless your heart.
I live in Alabama, so I got to say stuff like that now.
Yeah, he hasn't heard that since Kansas.
I don't like it.
Since Gatlinburg.
Gatlinburg?
Not in Kansas.
Oh, it's the same thing, dude.
Gatlinburg, notoriously in East Tennessee.
Hey, JJ, we got a special guest here today, don't we?
We do.
We have a very special guest, guys.
Who is it?
Well, his name's Mark.
Uh-huh.
He's a pretty cool guy.
Pretty cool.
He's been doing comedy for quite a while.
I cannot remember the specific amount of years, and I left my notes out in the living room.
That's good.
So I'm freestyling this one.
It's not going great.
It's Mark Viola.
Mark Viola, hey!
That's the name I have.
What's up, baby?
How you doing?
Hanging in, hanging out.
How's your trigger finger doing?
You know what?
The most disappointing thing about you guys asking me to come here today was that I wasn't
going to get to shoot you again.
We actually got it right in there if you want to go.
Well, let's do it.
Let's do it.
No, no, I'm good, Mark.
We got stuff to do later tonight.
Yeah, you're on Homegrown.
Yeah.
You're hosting Homegrown.
Brandon's on there.
Who else is on there with you guys?
I'll tell you.
Jesus Christ.
I show up, I tell the jokes, I leave, man.
Oh my God.
Why are you the way that you are?
Many, many years of disappointment.
I can see that.
Yeah, an overbearing mother.
She's your biggest fan, right?
That's what I tell people.
Yeah.
Oh, somebody looked up my bio on my website.
What did you do with something?
You had to camp out there for a 55-year-old plus senior community?
During COVID?
Yeah, yeah.
So yeah, my mom lives in a 55 and over restricted community.
When COVID hit, if you guys remember, let me take you back 15, 20 years to the beginning of COVID.
So it's March.
The news is starting to be like, hey, this thing might be happening.
And I was living in my car on the road doing comedy.
And I always put up for the winter for a few months someplace.
And I happened to be living with a buddy in Houston, Texas.
And I've been doing little Gulf Coast runs and South Texas runs and stuff.
I'm about to go on another seven-month national run.
And just as stuff is getting canceled, I told the dude, hey, I'm not going to need to live here after the end of March.
I'm basically moving out end of March going on the road beginning of April.
And all of a sudden I start getting messages, hey, we're canceling the show because of a potential health thing.
And the first one that I lost was actually a St. Patrick's Day show for the University of Houston, Hallel.
We'll be taking questions.
Sounds fun.
Yeah, no, it was a good paying show, too.
But everything just started to get canceled.
And I'm like, you know, when everything shuts down, hey, I can't live on the road doing that.
All my shows got canceled and everything.
And he's like, yeah, I got somebody moving in April 2nd.
So I had nowhere to go.
And of course, you can't just, you know, start contacting people like, hi, there's a global pandemic and people are apparently needing to sequester themselves in their home and duct tape their heads and avoid all human contact.
Can I move in with you?
And that wasn't a thing that was going on.
Plus, I was sort of out of money.
And so I go to my mom's place, this 55 and over community in Tampa.
And I'm like, I can hide out here for a couple of, you know, news is saying like, oh, two weeks, give it two weeks and it'll all be gone.
I was like, I can crash here for two weeks.
Year and a half. I spent a year and a half.
Oh, my God.
Hiding out in an old folks home that I wasn't legally allowed to be at.
Like, you need to understand.
That is a sick.
That's fucking crazy.
You need to understand in Florida, homeowners associations have all the power.
They're basically local governments.
So if you violate homeowners association rules and laws, not just like one of those things where they're like, oh, well, here's a, you know, $50 fine.
They have the legal authority to kick my mom out of her home and force her to sell it.
That's bullshit for violating HOA regulations.
So I'm hiding out there.
I can't be seen.
I can't be found.
Nobody can know that I'm staying.
I was like the Anne Frank of the retirement community.
Just hiding out my mom's closet, hoping, praying that nobody would see or hear me.
For a year and a half.
Jesus Christ.
Did you ever get to enjoy any of the amenities of the retirement facility?
I did, because as I just explained, I was able to go around freely in the retirement community, hang out there, play shuffleboard.
Did Pickleball really catch there?
Pickleball didn't exist back then.
This is in the pre-Pickleball days.
Yeah, no, this is ancient history.
Like I said, this was COVID.
This was like 30, 40 years ago.
Damn, dude.
Damn.
You would fit in though at an old folks home.
Oh, I do.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
No, they know me.
You guys bitch about the same type of things.
Mostly.
Like yarn and shit like that.
And young people.
I like that.
How old are you?
Old enough.
You're not that much older than me, right?
No, I'm 39.
Shut the fuck up.
Please don't be 39.
I'm 39.
I turn 40 next July.
Are you fucking with me?
Damn.
We're the same age, dude.
I know.
Wait for it.
No, you're not.
Yeah.
No, I just, because I see it's birthday because you're 1987.
Well, I mean, I mean just about around the same age.
Oh.
You know, we're actually twinsies.
We're born same day, same mom.
Brent is about to get out for information.
He was, you were born on March 3rd.
Factual.
And your social security number is 384.
No.
Did you ever bag any of the oldies but goldies while you're in the retirement home?
Good question.
Because I hear those Florida retirement homes get a little freaky.
Lufa.
You know, I don't canoodle and tell.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
No, Florida retirement homes are notorious.
Have any of you ever heard of the villages?
No.
Which I have done comedy in.
You've heard of them?
Okay.
So basically there's a age restricted retirement community that's a set of different communities.
That stretches across two or three counties at this point.
It's called the villages.
They're all these cookie cutter, McMansion suburban communities where you can drive golf
carts on the surface streets and everything like that.
Something like 70 to 110,000, depending on how you want to classify the villages.
Trump's 70 and 110,000 people live in all this stuff.
And it is the highest STD rate in the country because everybody there is fucking with hats
off because they're old.
Yeah.
Don't have to worry about like.
Who's given them that?
Well, I guess it's just in there.
Oh, dude.
Dude, the place where I used to work, the doctor retired and then moved to the villages.
Yeah, to get the clap.
Yeah, for real.
And then I was like telling, they told me that and I was like, oh, so he's getting freaky.
And they were like, what are you talking about?
And I was like, oh, y'all don't know.
I'm put you on game.
Read this article.
And they're like, they were just like visibly disturbed afterwards.
Yeah.
No, it's weird because like the women, women tend to outlive men.
Yeah.
You know, because they hate us and it's their fault.
Yeah.
And.
But no, like single single men who move into these retirement communities, they're outnumbered
by old single women like three to one, four to one sometimes.
And yeah, no, it's just like watching, watching the chaos descend of like Myrtle trying to
bake a pie for the new guy that moved in just so that they can.
That's it really happened.
We, oh yeah.
All they're juiced up when they get a new guy.
Everywhere.
Oh my God.
They're horn, horn dogs.
Yeah.
Old horn dogs.
Even you could clean up down there.
Think about all the blue chew that gets delivered.
Oh man.
Wow.
But they got to get.
No, no, they don't know.
You don't think they're.
They're all on Medicare.
They have, they can get prescription.
They're getting the heart.
They're getting the alice.
They're not getting like the gas station.
Yeah.
We're off brand.
Bluetooth.
I thought Bluetooth was a legit medical supplement.
Yeah, because legit medical stuff is sold at the counter to gas station.
They sell it online.
Well, no, it's the same ingredient.
It is the same ingredient as, but like you can get stronger prescriptions and all that
shit with a.
Well, I need to speak to my general practice.
Yeah, you do.
Cause if they're giving you off brand, that's bullshit.
More like genital practitioner.
Goodbye everybody.
So you guys circumcised or what?
Huh?
You guys circumcised?
Yeah.
I think so.
I don't know, man.
I'm being honest.
Have you never looked at it before?
I mean, I look at it.
I don't know.
Like what is it?
They just, that's where they cut that.
Yeah, that's they just, they just cut stuff.
Will you explain it?
Please explain it to him.
So we asked him before, we went over it.
He still doesn't know.
Great detail.
In slow and.
I mean, however you want to do it.
Just you two.
Step by step.
So.
Make sure if you have a question, you ask them.
Oh yeah.
Are you familiar with what a foreskin is?
Let's figure out where we're starting.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
Let's start here.
Boys have penises, girls have vaginas.
Okay.
Cool.
So the, the male member.
Has a.
Yeah.
Has a flap of skin located near the end.
Right.
Which end?
Technically there's skin at both ends, I guess.
But the particular flap we're talking about would be at the, I guess you're talking about
the, I guess we call it south end.
I'm not really sure.
Cardinal direction that would be.
I'm thinking south is down towards the bung hole.
Yeah.
Not I'm thinking about.
So it's actually, it's actually, you just clip that extra skin hanging off, hanging
off the bottom of the balls.
That's everybody's got a big, like a, like an inch and a half long skin tack at the bottom
of the balls.
You got yours cut off at birth.
Oh yeah.
Your ball skin.
I think so.
Wait, you said ball skin?
No, man.
No.
Okay.
So and what you're really explaining to him is he really doesn't know and you might help
him out to figure if he knows or not.
Yeah.
So the, the, the foreskin, the, the little skin sack, a little hoodie that dangles over
the front, that's cut off and removed.
So do you got skin over your head?
No, no, I don't believe I do.
What?
I don't think I do.
No.
Boy, if only we had some sort of like internet connected telephonic device that could pull
up a picture of a circumcised penis and an uncircumcised penis.
We've, we've done this.
Oh, okay.
And he still doesn't.
Because dude, I'm trying to think because, so.
Stand up and whip it out.
Let's figure this thing out.
We'll blur it on YouTube.
We got to cut the camera.
I said no cameras, man.
We can't, we can't, my dick can't see.
I mean, let me rephrase that.
What is that, man?
Nobody sees that, man.
Respect his issues.
I know it doesn't step in front of a camera.
Although we are visual learners.
Doesn't step in front of a camera.
I mean, this is, this is literally the easiest way to solve the question, to answer the question,
right?
But what if we don't know either?
We can't tell?
JJ, you look like you're an expert on penises.
Shout out to Shenanigans Comedy Theater.
Clothes or not clothes?
That's the real question.
Huh?
So, okay, so I'm going to do this.
I'm going to, we're not going to show you, but this is a little diagram.
This is it right here, right?
You see that's the tip.
Yeah.
So then when you're done, it goes back down.
So you.
Sometimes if you work out, if you work out or you're in the shower.
Okay.
Or if you're in the gym, full of a bunch of other people and you're uncomfortable, he'll
run away.
Yeah.
That's, that's fun.
That's normal.
Then we're circumcised.
I would guess you are circumcised.
I'm circumcised.
Yeah.
I'm definitely circumcised.
I was just, cause I was like, cause I remember dude, that would fuck me up in the gym a lot,
especially when I first had hair because it would close and whenever I would jump up,
it would pull you back down.
You did say that.
I still don't understand that part, but.
I still don't understand the deal.
When it closes.
He gets hair stuck in there when it retreats.
Oh yeah.
You do, right?
You've had that happen before.
No, it's like a claw.
Don't write the way that he has.
Wait, so do you, what do you do?
Shave it down then?
You could.
First off, yes.
That's good.
You never, you haven't been trimming this whole time?
No, I do trim.
But I was telling my mom with a kid.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
No, I fully, listen, look at my head.
Okay.
Look at it.
Look at it!
Good answer.
All right.
Imagine that there.
Oh yeah, man.
You're not getting anywhere.
I definitely trim back.
Yeah.
No, I can't live in the South and not.
Yeah.
You got to.
I don't get that too.
No.
Because it can get swampy down there.
Swampy.
Marshy.
I like this.
How do you describe it?
That's what I describe it, I guess like a rustler, like wrestle, rustle, like rustle, rust,
rough.
Okay.
Tough.
Like a jungle.
You know what I mean?
It's rustling.
Like you're rustling in the wind fighting the vines that are all tangled to you in the
woods.
Like that.
What were you trying to?
Do you know, okay so you know when you're in the woods, and there's like vines, like
Indiana Jones that are kind of right no no none of us none of us live in a tropical
But we've seen the movie you try to move or something and you're like, oh shit
I'm kind of trapped and you got to get that machete and hack off all like those vines stuff
That's like Jumanji. Yes, and you're rustling. That's why I was like rustled rustling that makes complete sense. Thank you
Yes, are you saying wrestling or rust like like
I'm trying to combine it metaphorically
Basically, that's what I think like whenever I think of hair like that
I think of a dude in the war in the jungle with some machete fighting his way out the blind
I think of penises. I think of a man in the jungle
Dude man scapes is gonna steal this. Oh, yes. They are. Hey you guys get a sponsorship sponsored not sponsored. No
Let's go
You'll help us get sponsors man because you're uh, how long were you on the road for I?
Was on the road for six and a half years six and a half years. Oh, yeah
Goddamn, so you're you're you're our vet man. How we get sponsorships
You first off you get viewerships
Oh
We average over 115 viewers, thank you episode we think all of them
We average over 115 viewers, I'll have you know, so over oh
Yeah, so that's I mean hey that's
definitely
people
115 viewers they can't all be wrong. Yeah, no they can't they can't they don't need to be
And only seven or eight of those are your mom like that's my just
My mom does watch it. She's a Jew now
Really? Mm-hmm. Good good call on her part. You think so?
I don't know the religion like but uh, so wait your mom actually converted. I swear to God
Okay. Yeah, and now you have to to convert
Yeah, and she's like it's it's dude. It's it's wild like cuz we grew up hardcore Christian, right?
Mm-hmm, and she's German too. Yeah, and she's German and she she just felt bad
She'll go to the temple and shit and she teaches it dude. She teaches it
Yeah, I don't know what it is though
I don't know what kind of Judaism it is or if there's just one but uh, I mean
You know I'm saying this
It's not quite the same as like Christianity where it's like, oh, well, I'm a bad time. I'm not okay
Don't back to like it's not quite like that
We actually break it down into flavors of observance for the most part. So
for example, you've got Orthodox Jews who are like your
Stereotypical stereotypical imagine like like close your eyes picture Jew in your head
You're thinking of Adam Sandler, but that's not the
So like, you know the yarmulke
On a man, you know woman dressed fairly plainly and everything
So the the big black hats and and the little twist things and all that like that's those are the Hasidic Jews
That's a very specific type of ultra Orthodox Jew. Oh, so that's not orthodox just regular Orthodox
I thought they were the same thing. That's no
the Hasidic
So they're they're
followers of a
17th century rabbi from Eastern Europe who was just like we all have to wear fuzzy hats
And you know not bathe and deep dick bags and they were like we like this we're gonna do that
So that's that's the Hasidic the Orthodox are just like the really like super observant like follow
Follow all the teachings of the Torah sort of thing conservative is the next step down conservative is
Pretty observant
They may not be the most stringently kosher in eating or you know, they may have rules like, you know
They're kosher at home, but when they're out with populations, they might not stick with that
They probably don't grow their beards and wear a yarmulke all the time and those sorts of things then there's
two flavors of the next step down
Reform and liberal and they're basically the same thing
Those are if you were a Christian and you were you know, like oh, yeah
No, my family like, you know, we're Easter and Christmas Church people like that sort of thing
That's what the liberal and reform would sort of be okay
and then there's the the next step down of Jew which is
atheist which is
Well, no you can laugh at that but it's true it's like think of like so like
the leader of the international humanist movement
Jewish atheist
Karl Marx
gloriously a Jewish atheist like, you know, it's a lot of scientists and everything like that's people that are culturally Jewish like lox and bagel
Not the whole God thing, but you know, you know spend as little money as possible
You know have a have a good job with benefits and you know, listen to your mom
But don't listen listen to your mom like that sort of stuff, but God
Do the converts do they just fall anywhere along that spectrum they can although very rarely will somebody be like I am changing my entire
metaphysical belief structure for the hierarchy of
Theological influence in the universe and I am going to do that to become a reformed Jew like that's very rare
You don't know my mom
Just because even with like reform and liberal like there's so many steps you have to go through
So it's against Jewish law to proselytize
So you so it is against Jewish law to try to convert people like to sit here
No, you should find the true word of God through Judy it like that like you're not allowed to do that
I like part of the reason why Jews are here and Christians and Muslims are
Population why you know what I mean?
They went and proselytize that they literally held guns to people's heads and fucking sources
They were like you believe in the one true God, right? And we're just sitting here going
and we're just sitting here going
It's actually religiously if you want to convert which is something your mom would know and I'm sure she's told you about and you
Committed a memory and you understand how all of this works
Because you seem like you care
If you want to become Jewish you have to like go to a rabbi and be like I want to become Jewish and he's gonna go
now
And then he's gonna deny you and then he's gonna like try to like talk to you a little bit and like be like
Why would you want to like explain this and that and he's gonna send you away and then sometime later
There's not a specific number of days or whatever, but it's like you can't just come back in 20 minutes
It's like you got to go away and then come back and then be like I want to become Jewish and the rabbi is gonna go
Even after everything we talked about and they're like, yeah, it's like
No
And then you have another discussion and then you got to come back a third time and be like no
I'm pretty sure about the whole
Jewish thing and he'll go
Maybe and then they'll have a more in-depth discussion and then you can start the practice of like
Going to Hebrew school learning all the stuff that you need and then of course, you know, we're a very fastidious people
So there's a test involved. It's it's written multiple choice
It's timed but not you know, too extreme to certain
We're not the SATs or anything and then yeah, and then you go through all that and you can become Jewish
Is there are there outlaw like because I don't know their outlaw
Countryside holding up Catholic money transfers
outlaw rabbis who give people say give people their Judaism and then
But it's not legit, you know what I'm saying? Like somebody's were going to convert with this
Of course, there are of course there are rabbis out there that if somebody's like I want to convert
You're just like that's fine. And then those people do they ever get tested? Nobody would know them, right?
So you that's why when the gods you now say you believe in
I'm kind of on you man, you know, I'm worried about that happens a lot with like so very
Unreligious like liberal and reformed Jewish
People who are marrying non-jews who the non-jew is like I'm gonna convert for the
Wedding and this and that like sometimes that'll just be at the I for the rabbi of the temple that I went to growing up
he was known as the rent a rabbi and
He would just do whatever like he didn't really care. I love that name and we should have a character. Will you play it?
The rent a rabbi for real I could his actual name. He definitely never gonna see this. Okay
He's never gonna
I don't know. This might blow up you're teaching everybody about the Jews and so yeah, no, that's that's what I'm here for
His name is Bobby Lefkowitz
Okay, God damn. Yeah, he moved from Orlando to Tampa area where he's a rabbi now. He's a very nice man. Mm-hmm
Little vishnick it but very nice man. Can you act like I'm real quick?
Hello, okay
Yeah, no, that's basically him there was no more needed that what that it's not like I was that it wasn't that that was a lazy
Impersonation. That's literally just how he is very soft-spoken very very nice
People we come up to him all the time and be like, hey, can we get married and he'd be like I can do a wedding
For you. Are you Jewish? They're like, uh, oh, uh, do we need to be he's like not really
Do you think if we put you in a room with 20 people who all claim to be Jewish you could and there's one actually Jewish person
You could snuff them out
Kill them. No, no find out what do you think snuff them out means sniff them out?
That's a different thing
On the nose
If I put you in a room with 20 people who were you claim to be Jewish
I put you in a room with 20 people who were you claim to be Jewish kill the one who is
Because we do have a position open
Yeah, and we need those skills. Yeah
We need a specific set of skill like I guess my broader question is like if I claim to be Jewish
And I just learned a lot about Jewish culture and the religion could I trick other people into believing I was Jewish?
Yeah, sure like for real. Yeah
Cuz you can there's no like secret passage
No, like secret passage. No, okay, and there was you think I would tell you about it on a podcast
16 people are gonna see of course not
We're going to temple
The synagogue dude, yeah, I when I told my mom I was moving here the first thing she said was oh
I just googled it. There are three synagogues in town. It'll be fine. I'm like, I'm sure it will
I mean
I've never I've never seen one here. There's three synagogues in Huntsville. I know this one in Alabama is in Huntsville
Probably. Hmm. I'm sure the longest continuous like continually attended one being Huntsville also probably I
Only know the the Muslim one what's that called? I don't know
I can't remember. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. You take a guess at what you think the
Muslim one is called and you take a guess don't
You go first JJ. Dom goes first cuz he looks you know, like you would know the Muslim
We're asking name of the church the name of their house of worship. They'll be fine
Oh, well, if you know if you think you know it hold on to it because I don't have you why do you think I know?
I don't think you know he thinks you know
And he wants you to answer said he could be like, oh, yeah, I was the same thing. I was gonna say
I'm gonna be so far off. I'm gonna say Macedonia
That is very far off
Macedonia
That's a country. I thought you were about to say that was really good. No, not even not even a little bit
It's actually a kid. It's it Macedonia is I know what it is
Greece like it's just north of Greece. It's where Alexander the Great is from Alexander of Macedonia like
Ali, they're Shannara
Call me. What do you think it's called? I remember what it's called now. Like I forgot. Okay, okay
Okay, maybe it's called
Oh, okay, so Ali is Allah in there almost said Ali Ali Ali is
People pretty man. Oh, okay. Okay. Uh
Hmm
Damn and uh, I know it's our this is hard. This is very hard. This is like one the hardest
Well, he took a holy shit man. Okay. Hold on because I don't want to say like okay move. Oh
No, no, no, no, I'm gonna get this move
Move large they all go to a
Shit
Yeah, a lot yeah, no, that's perfectly correct answer. What did you think it was? I think he's a mosque right? It is a mosque
We're just talking about he's gonna try to act like
I'm not the actual name of the one we have here. Oh, no, I agree
I don't know what any of the mosques in this town, but none of them are called Macedonia. That is not
I went to church called Macedonia. I was young. I didn't know what kind of religion it was. I was trying to find
Yeah, Macedonia, I mean it might be Greek Orthodox it might be I
Think I think there's a Southern Baptist Church. It's also
Well, there's there's a
Southern Baptist have a
No, it definitely wasn't that's that's Jewish. However
Mount Mcgeddon
Baptist Church is a thing. All right. So when was the first time you caught chlamydia? Oh, let's find this out. Ah
I was a boy of only seven
Goddamn you fucking and
Anyway, I
Tell me you never caught you never you never caught it. No, I've never had anything. You never had anything good on you. Yeah
Good on you. Yeah, I know these two are too young to have
Problems. Yeah, apparently herpes is running around in the comedy scene here in the whole comedy scene
It's just what I hear. I hear things. I don't I don't like things but I hear things. Mm-hmm herpes is everywhere
Somebody in here as it I just got my blood work back. I mean
How was a one see looking?
Everything was good
Everything is blood was bad except herpes
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Somebody come adopt these damn dogs. So mark. I got a question because I'm saying right here
I just I just I'm very fascinated by this. It says you're definitely allergic to pussy
Yes
How did this happen because do we all come out of pussy man?
Well, I came out I came out first off. I was a c-section baby
Holy shit
Second just hives just plenty of no it might implicate that I am definitely allergic to cats
Oh
Yeah, no, I am NOT allergic to pussy I'm just frightened to get near it
I'm just I'm just emotionally vulnerable to pussy
I think we all are. Yeah, everybody in this room is right
I mean nothing be it not you JJ. My only one is easy. He's a gay man. Oh, you're gay. I'm gay
I'm a happy man. I'm not in that was extremely fast because I'm happy man. Dude gay is happy
Hey
It's 2024 everybody's a little gay get the fuck over it. You know what I mean?
He's well, he's he's on the first level of the kins and he has tendency tenancies. No, they tricked me
No, we did not because I don't care. We didn't trick you
We didn't trick you man. You just took the test
You understand that about 70% of all people alive are either a one or four on the Kinsey scale, right?
A one or a four? A four? Why is that? Why's it a jump?
A four is gay. No. Five is all the way?
Five is all the way completely 100% only driven homosexual
Zero is 100% only driven heterosexual
Most people fall into the one or the four category
Yeah, I was a zero
You gotta take the test too
I haven't took it
We all got to take it
I don't think I'm going to but
Dom's like I'm afraid of the answer
Well, first of all, I've seen Brad Pitt and Meet Joe Black
I'm not afraid. He's a beautiful man there. Gorgeous
I watched the movie and I like to tell myself because the female protagonist is really hot too
I like to tell myself
But you can't remember her name
Yeah, can't remember her name
Brad Pitt's like a walk in that shit
What movie? Serena Williams
Was it Rachel Wood? Was Rachel Wood the one in?
No, it wasn't
It was Serena Williams
What are you talking about?
Dude, in the movie
In Meet Joe Black
Get away from me. First of all, you've never seen the movie
Is that where he's death?
Yeah
Yeah, I've seen that
You have?
That's like the one movie I have seen
Look at this guy
You tell me that ain't a piece of ass
I mean I've seen better but not a lot
I'll send a clear picture for you
Brandon, what do you think about that? What does it do for you?
This is a dude right here, man
Yeah
But he's got the Ellen haircut so kind of
There's a dude on Instagram that looks just like this
Really?
He makes videos about looks maxing
Which he explores all these different proven ways of improving how you look
He tells you about you need to make your eyebrows thicker
Take these supplements
You need to get your facial structure to change
So you got to do these massages and these
I feel like we're down to 113 viewers now
What's his name?
I can't remember his name
But he goes on that Omegle shit that Brandon was talking about
People make fun of him on
And he goes on there and women literally they crumble at his beauty
It's the craziest shit I've ever seen
Wouldn't you want to be like that?
You talking about this guy?
No
Oh, okay
Hope not
Yeah, me too
I wouldn't want to be unapproachably beautiful
No?
No
You would get anything you wanted in life
Beautiful people have it so much easier than regular people
Oh yeah, you ever seen it?
The halo effect
You do it without even noticing you're doing it
Well you probably don't because you
Well I already get that treatment
That's why being unapproachably beautiful I feel like we'd be a step too far
So this is him?
No
No, this is not him
I'm sorry, I'm looking
Don't worry about it, Brandon
We were just saying what it is
Hell yeah, man
But I agree with that 100% man
Life would be easier
Yeah, the pretty privilege, the halo effect, it's a real thing man
Do you treat better looking people different?
I try to ignore them more
Why?
I respect that
Because the universe needs balance, alright?
Everybody tripping over themselves for the beautiful people
I feel like it's my responsibility to go that extra step and be like
Oh you look gorgeous, fuck you
You gotta swing that pendulum back
That's what we did this time around
Talking about Luigi Mangione again?
That's all he talks about
It's like, oh man you got more rice in your bowl than I did
Well, you know, because those CEOs, right?
I mean look what he did when he couldn't fuck anymore man
Oh he still fucked
He fucked that one dude right up
Do you think he just like, there's no way they just brought him to the county jail right?
I don't know, like afterwards?
Well yeah, he's in some kind of county jail right now
He means that the cops took him for a ride before they brought him in
Oh beat him up now?
Not him
They would do it for like a rapist or
If he was
Yeah I don't think the cops in Altoona, Pennsylvania are like
Oh we're on the sides of the CEO
Like that
I mean they were probably real happy to get him and be like
Oh man I'm gonna tell you what story is, it's gonna be so cool
But it's not like one of those things where it's like
That CEO was married to my sister you son of a bitch
No but do you think it would have been different if he was different?
Oh if he was black?
Yeah
You better get the fuck out of here
Yeah but then it wouldn't matter what he did
Cause Altoona, Pennsylvania and cops so
I think they would have caught him if he was black is a better question
Well they would have caught somebody, it might not have been the right guy
They would have definitely got somebody
You match the description
Damn man that was so
Do you think this man is attractive?
In that picture?
Which one?
That one
No he doesn't
Do a picture that does him some justice
Okay I got you man hold on
Let me find one of these pictures here
I guess we can click on this one
That's the one he decided on
He decided on that one
It's just built
But for a guy to be attractive
You have to have classical features
You know like a female
Yeah actually yeah
He's kind of symmetrical, I mean a monobrow is kind of the most symmetrical thing you can have
That's true
Yeah?
You think he's hot?
I mean I'm not saying that dude
He's just saying he's fucking hot
It doesn't matter if he's hot or not
J.J. is like all about it, he would slob that up so hard
It's like kill two more CEOs for me shoot daddy
No no
Wait didn't he say something about Diddy too?
I could be wrong, it could have been some fake news
Well everybody needs healthcare Bernie
Everybody says stuff about Diddy
Yeah like LeBron didn't he just step down too?
He did, he retired
That is wild
For the first time ever
He what?
For the first time ever he's taking time away for personal reasons
Sure it has nothing to do with his son being D string on a C level basketball team?
I mean
He just yeah I was gonna say he just dropped 30
Yeah against St. Mary's High School for the death
This your boy right here, this your goat?
My goat? No
Who's your goat?
My goat is either for basketball
Dream at the Doja Bar
Or maybe Will Chamberlain
Will Chamberlain is a good
He's just all about basketball players who fuck
Yeah I mean Michael Jordan is good too and Kobe
He's okay
Yeah he's good too or whatever you know
He's okay
What about John Stockton? Fuck John Stockton
He's good too, that's the people they would look at that Dr. J come on
Dennis Rodman he's alright, he's good
Dennis Rodman is a mediocre basketball player
Dennis Rodman is a mediocre basketball player who is more than willing to throw elbows and body up in a top
I agree
But wasn't bodying up going on in the NBA
Well he first of all he was one of the best defensive players of all time
Not mediocre I mean he was terrible at offense
So he would get 20 rebounds, 10 blocks, 10 steals and no points
But you need somebody like that
Yeah and I'm saying if they'd have let Kermit Washington keep punching dudes he would have been just as good on defense
Like that's all that was
But you know where he was from
You see that, that man's in a blouse
Fuck your shit up
I mean he honestly would
Shirts versus blouses
Does he count as the first openly gay NBA player?
Who?
Maybe
Dennis Rodman
He's not gay
He married himself
Yeah but he's not gay
Yeah that's not gay
You saying he's not a man?
He might have fucked a dude or two but he's not gay
Are you questioning his masculinity by saying that he's marrying himself?
It's fucked up dude
Damn
So fucked up
But dude he's from the bad boys so of course he's gonna be wild you know what I mean?
He was friends with your boy
What boy?
Hulk Hogan man
Hulk Hogan, he's cool with Hulk Hogan
He was in the NWO
The rest of what are we talking about? Summer Slam
I know and he was in NWO too wasn't he? NWCW
No what was that Summer Slam?
Whenever they went against Karl Malone and it was Karl Malone
No that was WCW
Now Karl Malone has a solid argument for the best player on and off the court
Yeah he's got some, I got one of his cards
Karl Malone's not a player he just crush a lot
You watch wrestling?
Used to
Which year? What era?
What era?
Through the 90s and the end of the attitude era
That's when I was into
You liked the 80s too? Like the golden era also?
Yeah
And Bret Hard and Hulk Hogan
Bret Hard is my favorite wrestler of all time
Dude for real? Hell yeah man
Dude I was fucking 12 years old and being like real men wear pink
People were like fuck are you talking about man? Just be a fan of Goldberg like everybody else
And I'm like nah Bret Hard best there is best there was best there ever will be
Wait people didn't like Bret Hard back in the early 90s? I thought he was the best
First off he was a heel so they weren't supposed to like him
He was foreign as well
Yeah there was a lot of anti-immigrant hate pointed towards him
Damn man just like with New Jack
He was immigrant?
Well no it was a lot of hate he had to go through
New Jack also stabbed somebody's eye out with four
Well he had every right to do that
And they hated him for it and that was unfair
That's wrestling man
He did beat the shit out of that kid though
Well dude he didn't know
He didn't know that kid had cancer
And he said hey the kid called him a nigga so
Fair
Yeah
So you could beat the shit out of the kid they call you?
No not the kid I'd probably be like hey man we got it
That's not right
You could trip him for sure
Brandon would be like kid what you call me where's your daddy at?
His dad walks over it's like
I'm gonna beat the fuck out of this kid
I'd be like yeah I can't believe this
Yeah where's your mom at kid?
Y'all gonna beat the fuck out of this kid
Yeah he's like I don't have a mom son
I'm not your son
Now I got a question
While we're here and we're talking about this stuff
And I'm ready to be canceled anyway
Let's just fucking talk about it
How do the both of you feel about how black each other is?
I'll tell you how I feel
I didn't ask you
Because here's the thing
Like I've heard both of you on stage and off
Talk about like you know your blackness
And you know how you see yourself as part of that culture
And everything you do jokes about
Like you know you talk a lot about the fact that you're half black
And how that plays in and what not
I'm curious how black do you think Dom is?
Hmm well I mean
Blackness
Let me think man
Because like what I'm trying to think is like dude it's not a certain way
Like dude of course you're half black half German right?
So there you go
He's saying to my nigga
Yeah
Well I wasn't using that wording out loud on video
But then again
You can always tell you can instantly tell how somebody grew up
Just by talking to them and how they act
You got Uppity niggas
You got me and Brandon around the same
Because you grew up like hood adjacent?
Yeah both like both were
We're in the hood and then the house
Yeah like I was between both
Between both right yeah
Between both
So you'll be able to talk to them and you'll be able to tell just how they talk
But it's just various degrees of nigga
Okay so I'm aware of all of that
I was asking specifically how black do you think Dom is
And then I was going to ask you how black do you think he is
What do you mean how black though?
Yeah I don't because not that black
You talk about my house
No I got eyes I can see how light or dark
What I'm saying is that both of you regularly do material
Whether it's you talking about like your crackhead uncle from Detroit
That doesn't have anything to do with black
They're always his mom
I want everybody out there to know
You're not wrong
I'm in the middle of the sentence
I was saying that changed the way that you were brought up
And in the joke you talk about like your cousins and like them treating you differently
And
That's because he was a TORR
Yeah
That was just
He made it seem like
But through the lens of the black community
Because they feel differently about those
Yeah so I was just curious about that
Because and it's not like me being like
It's like how you see yourself on stage
And I never had the chance to sit down and talk with either of you about it
I never thought about it
And how you see each other because you've seen each other's comedy when you're talking about that stuff
So I was curious I'm sorry I know this is to make funny dick jokes
No no no
But I was honestly earnestly curious about how the both of you see each other like that
And if that and then I was going to move on to then asking
You know does that change the way you see yourself
Sorry for trying to have like an actual conversation
No no
We're still here
We're here
You just got done talking now
I get it
We'll go get it there
But like I know exactly how Brandon grew up
I have a friend just like him
Like they grew up the same way like the same structure
His mom all that they're like literally the same
Couldn't be more different people
But they grew up the same
But like it ain't
I don't know you don't see it as like who like
You like because you're trying to say like who's blacker
Or something like that
I'm not trying to set it up as a contest
I'm just curious
I don't think you really see stuff as like black
As this person like what kind
I do I say what kind of black
Because I'm like are you or did you grow up from means
Because those are the only ones who like when people cry about racist shit
It's usually the ones who who came from like money
And they didn't have really go through shit
They cry when they get called a nigger or something like that
You know say I've been called it since I was eight years old
Walking to get a video
All right so you know saying that you could tell literally the difference
Between like people who grew up with money
And then people who are middle class and then people who grew up in the gutter
You know what I mean
And then that's how I break them down
Not like by the blackness
So it's all socioeconomic
You don't see it in any way as being cultural
It's just socioeconomic
Well yeah all the black culture is similar
So you always gonna have
Even the rich ones
They're gonna still be in the same kind of culture
They're gonna do shit blacks
Yeah they're still gonna do shit black
Okay
Mm-hmm
Well yeah
Couldn't say it more perfect
It might be everyone's like the same
Everyone sees themselves as the same amount of black
There might be less of that
Going to markets
Yeah and then you got like mixed people
Mixed people can go either way
Because you got like me and my sister and my little brother are just like me
You know what I'm saying
And then you got my big brother who's the whitest motherfucker you could ever imagine
Like I mean and he hates it
People always say
People always say you know
Dominique acts black
And I act white
And I really hate that
You know that's how he talks
And he was born raised in the hood
You know what I'm saying
But he also is crazy so he gets a pass
You know when you
Sure
Something about him
He gets like he will fuck you up
So he gets a pass so he got to be like the nerdy black guy
Around and nobody really fucked with him
Because well they couldn't
Because he was like a cheese like hairpin trigger in his elbow
I still could beat his ass though
Yeah I bet
He used to fuck me up when we were younger
I thought you had difficulty scooping rice earlier
I don't know
I don't know how you're doing in a street throw down right now
See and because you've been bringing up
Jewish stuff a lot and everything
And part of the reason why I like asking about
You know asking this sort of question
And getting feedback on it and everything is because
Here's the unique thing about Jews right
Like it like it's unquestionable
Jews are a minority right
Very small group
Very small population group
Jewish is not a race
There is no racial construct around Judaism right
It's a religion but it's also a culture
And there's also you know all of this like specific historical stuff
And Jews come from all over the world
But oddly enough just the way things are
Jews are a minority that are not recognized by minorities as a minority
So we can't tell the difference between the young and the old
Amongst black and Hispanic communities especially
When it comes to Jews if you ask for like a race
If you ask them about the race of a
Like they will say they're white like super white
Like the whitest of white
Like Jews might be like whiter than white is white
Yeah
If you ask white people especially the ones who are you know
Really proud about being white
Jews are the least white you can be
Like there is nothing less white
I concur
Dom has a better chance of getting into white heaven
Maybe a brother
Then a Jew does
You know what I mean like that is
And so it's this weird dichotomy where
From a racial and cultural aspect
Jews are both at the same time a separated out minority
From white America and white communities
Yet at the same time are not a member of minority communities
Or acknowledged by minority communities as being part of that minority
So that's part of the reason why I asked like
And again I just hadn't had a chance while we were chillin' at a mic or something
To ask either of you about this
And I thought now I have you trapped and it's a good time
Hell yeah
Good question
How do you feel about seeing yourselves and each other
And does the way you see each other and your blackness
Change the way that you see yourself
No I'd say the only time it comes into plays like that
Where the blackness is when somebody's coonin'
You know what I'm sayin'
So whenever you out there like you tap toeing four white motherfuckers
You know what I'm sayin'
It's like you should be
I always feel like you should be yourself around everybody
Now if I came up and I was like
Let's say everybody in here was black and I'm just saying like
You know talk a regular and then I went out there with a group of people
And everybody was like dude seriously
I'm like get the fuck out of here
I hate that shit
Well isn't there also an element of this concept of you talking regular
And if you went in and you were hanging out with a whole group of black people
And all of a sudden you started like turning it up
Exactly same thing
So that's the same thing for white people
And white people do that too
Where it's like yeah
I don't know y'all don't call coonin'
I don't know what y'all call it
Oh we call it that
No no no
Damn man
What y'all are around
Damn
No I mean again y'all
I'm not white enough apparently
But no like I don't know if there's really
Coal switching
Coal switching but I mean it's called that for all people
I'd say that when it's white people doing that
It's considered like ethnocultural appropriation
Oh god that's too many syllables
That is that's a lot
They gotta get that down
They need to
They want somebody to say it
Ethnocultural what the fuck is that
As somebody who's painfully white dude
Maybe the whitest you know
In this room
Mostly
Yeah you guys are fighting for it
I mean don't let him fool you dude he's half Filipina
He does not
Oh damn man
Damn
But I never I mean I never thought about my own race
Which I understand is like a thing of like I never really had to
But I when it like from my experience it's always class
It's always class based
So like if I'm around like I can tell if I'm around other white people
If we grew up the same way or not
And it's easy to tell and then weirdly enough like some
Like groups of Asians I'm like they mob me bro
Financially they mob me
Like they grew up with just a different level of money
Like I can't relate for real
But I wasn't poor but I wasn't like upper middle class or like upper class
Lower middle or just straight lower
I would say in the beginning middle middle I would say now more lower middle
But that's just that gap widening dude
That's everybody man
We're gonna push it swing that pendulum back dude
RFK is gonna do something
We start following Luigi Mangione
JJ's biggest biggest hero
My celebrity crush
Robin Hood of 2024
That'll be who's behind Brandon
Oh yeah
Not right now Brandon don't get nervous
You gotta explain these sorts of things to him sometimes
Thank you man
Let's be honest I agree with Dom's thing right there
Like I 100% agree with that
Because me it's like what I feel like is you should always be you around anybody
You know what I mean
Because it doesn't matter
I mean you gotta be you because if you do that then people are like what the hell is this
That's weird
That doesn't make any sense man you're acting fake
Yeah
Like plastic
And you're gonna fuck up if you do that shit
I know people and people are like but I can't stand whenever we're like just like what I was saying
And they do that cold switching shit
And it's like bro you know what I'm saying
They gonna see you talking to somebody else you know and see you oh what's up G what's up G
But then you get over here you're like yeah man oh my god
I'm like why don't you just you talk regular and then both people will like you
Nobody likes a fucking tryhard or a do-gooder
Like nobody wants to be like I hate the machine gun Kelly type white boys
Who always want to come up what's up what's up big dog
You know what I'm saying what's up big dog
You know what I'm saying just stay out here
Because they always let niggas slip at the end of the day
And then you just gotta give them a look you give them that look like this
They say the same exact thing every time
No no no no no it ain't like that
Shut the fuck up
You guys should hear Matthew Lumber when you're not around
No
The most articulate
Really?
Spoken
Really?
Ph.D. level vocabulary
Get the fuck out of here
No he says the hard R all the time
Motherfucker
Type shit
Motherfucker
Type shit
Shout out Matthew Lumber
Team Pop Sensation
Team Pop Sensation dude
You gonna take us on a roll with you sometime man?
No
We could be extras together right?
Yeah
I was almost a Happy 2 Gilmore one
Who was the extra?
You were an extra for Dune Patrol
I was an extra on a lot of things
Give us some
What like some examples of like
Yeah like List
My favorite line is an extra?
Yeah
That's it that's all I just walked a lot
You said you did a line but they cut it out right?
I did lines in a lot of things that got cut out
Damn
I wonder why
I just grabbed an actor by the face push him out of the way
And I'm like oh that's a big fart
And he didn't put it into the
I don't know why
Yeah no so
It's one of those weird things where
And this is pretty universal in all
Film and TV right?
There's a real solid line between being an actor and being an extra right?
And what that mostly comes down to is
Words coming out of your mouth
Effectively that's what that comes down to right?
Like they could shoot something that has me standing like right next to you right?
It wouldn't be good but they could shoot a TV show of me standing right next to you for 30 minutes straight while you talk
And if I don't say anything
I'm a $10 an hour extra in Atlanta
You know what I mean?
Because it's non-union which is why they shoot so much stuff there
And everything like that
The minute like if we're both on screen
And you're talking and I go yep
That is now a union role that pays a union minimum of $1,800 a day
Oh Sam
So they get
That's why they get really finicky about those sorts of things right?
So for example I was cast in
Zombieland 2
To play a bartender
There's like a dream sequence thing
Let's all pretend like we saw Zombieland 2
I did I like Zombieland
Double tap yeah
Okay
That dream sequence thing where
Jesse Eisenberg like owns his own bar and he goes there and
He's hitting on Emma Stone's character
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah so I was supposed to be the bartender in that scene
And he basically like cool guy walks through the bar comes over and I'm supposed to be hitting on Emma Stone
And he like taps me on the shoulder and is like
Hey I'll take care of her and I'm supposed to be like
Of course no words right?
But I'm supposed to be like
And he's like
Go do something
So and then I leave right?
I was specifically cast for that
Like I had to do multiple I met with casting directors
Like they did like wardrobe shoots for me
Test stuff everything
I show up on set
They even have me like separated from the extras like you know in my own personal wardrobe everything like that
I show up on set I walk out there
The director looks at me and goes
His hair is too much like Jesse Eisenberg's give me somebody else
And they just grabbed another random fucking extra
No
And I'm just like are you kidding me?
So they shove me into a gaming cabinet
Like off to the side
Where Jesse Eisenberg has to just walk past me every take
And we're spending an entire this is like an eight hour day
For this one shoot to get him walking up
And then just the quick turn around on them talking
There was like four lines in the shot
So I'm there and I'm just mad
Like they just had me at like a Gallagher machine or something
And I'm just like
And Jesse Eisenberg keeps walking past me
And in between takes he actually walks over and he goes
Hey man
You've got great hair
And I turned to him like do I do I
Star of this movie Jesse Eisenberg
He's like that was aggressive
I'm like I was supposed to be playing the bartender
You being called aggressive
Yeah I'm like I was supposed to be I was cast to play the bartender
I might have even had a line
And they regular and he's like that fucking sucks
I'm like does it does it making millions of dollars just to be here
Jesse Eisenberg
So I did get him back though
I during one of the takes I
I crop dusted him real bad
I dropped
Because you got to understand like
The food they give to extras it's like broccoli and boiled chicken
And mac and cheese and after lunch
I just filled up on so much of this and I'm just I'm just cooking it
And during one of these takes like
I'm looking this way at the Gallagher machine and I can see out of the corner of my eye
As he's approaching and I just dropped one
Right in his path and he just walked through the middle of it
And goes oh and actually ruined the take like he
Choked on it and it ruined the take and he turned around and looked me
And before anything else I caught him right in the eyes and I pointed at Emma Stone
And I was like
I don't know what to do
And he goes
Oh my god I'm like I'm just standing I don't know what to do
That's hilarious
So to this day I like to think that Jesse Eisenberg who ultimately
Is not responsible for any of this
But to this day I like to think that he's just
Thinking that Emma Stone was just ripping
Massive farts
I don't like to think that right now he's on a
Bygast telling stories or he's like Emma Stone beautiful you know wonderful
To work with you know just a true actress
Gassy
Who is your least favorite person you've ever worked with
Besides us? Oh oh really
Melissa McCarthy. Really? Yeah. Not my girl
I fucking hate that cunt oh my god
She's the absolute god damn worst
What'd she do?
She and her fucking bitch cuck husband were just miserable on set
Just absolutely the worst people
I was on super intelligence and
They put me into a
Cubicle right next to her for like
One of the scenes they were shooting
And a couple other scenes and yeah no she was just
Annoying and bitching out the entire day
Like just absolutely the worst
Like just miserable
Person. Blowing my mind
Right now dude. Not Melissa
Melissa McCarthy. Yep that's the one
All 300 pounds of her fucking awful
You think she's 300?
I'm under 300 now but I was
298 I'm proud of you please
That's crazy man
Yeah no she was really not a nice person
I cannot believe that. You literally blew my mind
I can't believe that. Me too
Is that the bitch cuck husband? Yeah
He's a comedian too. Is he a comedian or just a comedic actor?
I hope not. I don't think he's either
He's not a very talented director either. Damn. But
He's a good step flop. That's central in Texas
He was not good to work for
So one of the scenes
We're all sitting around a table and we're supposed to be at like
Microsoft headquarters or something like that
And he's like okay this thing comes crashing through the roof
And do a reaction shot and go
And I'm sitting on like a high top chair
And the camera's kind of in on me
And there's actors sitting at the table in front of me
And it's like me and two other extras behind them
And he's like and it comes crashing through
Now and I go
And he's like cut
And he came over to me and he's just like what are you doing?
I'm like you said something came crashing through the ceiling. Am I supposed to go?
He was just
He was just a real tool bag
Not that I wouldn't love to work with any of these people again
Honestly
The industry, the way that they're both
Just wonderful like I look forward to being able to
Maybe actually have a line
And be in just any project that any of them are involved in
I just feel like. We'll tag her in this clip and make sure
She can see this
But that's the end of the pod man
We want to thank you for coming on
It's been a great time. You're very welcome
I don't like the way you said it
The first thing we put you in dude, look at how many lines you had
Yeah
All of you were better than Melissa McCarthy
I truly appreciate that
At the bottom of my heart man
Alex is this his camera?
I had a great time here today
I'd love to say that
We love you
You changed me around
I used to say it wasn't six million now I think it's seven
Look at that
We're going to keep pushing that number up
You know what? It was eight and a half
I like you so much I would say it was eight and a half
What do you got coming up? Any shows? Any social media?
Just tell it in that camera right there
As far as shows and stuff go Dom had brought up the show that I'm doing tonight
Which is going to be over before this podcast comes out
I'm not really sure why I would announce that
If you want to keep up to date on all of the shows that I'm doing
You can find more information at markviolacomedy.com
You can also follow me online
Twitter formerly known as X
That's also the TikTok
Facebook.com
Adult friend finder slash user slash markviolacomedy
MarkviolaComedy is where all my stuff is at
Come check out a show
See me tell jokes that I've pre-written and considered
Most likely that none of these guys are going to be on
Because we're going to have real comics
Okay
And I will not pay for a ticket
That's alright most of the shows that hire me don't charge for tickets
Hey thanks for having me
I fucking hate scrappy dude