This week on clown college
Because you see man, I had a great night we went to speak easier on Halloween
I see you killed and you had a monster. Thank you. That's what I was a good night. That was a good night
And I I decided, you know what well before it happened
You know what I'm not driving my fans is driving. So let me get four shots of whiskey
First time the first one I start off I walked up to her
I said, let me get a double shot with some a little bit of ginger ale
She just put a little tap in there and she was like you want to close your tab
I was like, yeah, I'm not coming back. So then I leave I drink that and then I come back
And I'm like, you know what fucking let me get a shot of whiskey
So then I get a shot of whiskey and then I come back one more time
I'm like, I know I said two times I was done
but let me get one last shot of whiskey and I got one more shot of whiskey and
Man, I went up there had a great time
Then I went home. Uh-huh had a great time went to bed
And now we'll go by three in the morning holding my chest
Like finna die, I felt like we could do you don't understand like listen my chest was burning
It felt like it felt like somebody was grabbing me. I every time I moved it got worse
I like fell on the ground when the bathroom. I was just like praying like it was so bad
It was like that type of pain that makes you like I would have been like I'm about to quit counting become a preacher
Want to get better spirit of the world
The whole night I was just begging. I was like, please like just please can't can this stop like I'm sorry like whatever
I'll change my life
I even walk up my girl like look here like can you help me? She's like, you know, you'll be fine
I'm like you understand. I might be dying right now. And I'm sorry
If I don't wake up you are like no, you don't and and then after that. Oh my gosh, dude
It was for 130 all the way until 430. So I'm up all night just holding my chest
Yeah, literally freaking out. Mm-hmm trying to like I'm just I'm just and then I started grunting the whole time
It was so bad. I caught my mom. Why? Yeah
Yeah, because she's at work. So I was like, hey, I feel like I might be dying
And she was like, what are you talking about? Like my chest is burning. I'm hurting. I can't like I feel like it feels like a
Fucking heart attack and I'm freaking out and she's like, okay. Hold on son. What did you eat today?
I said just pizza
Sushi and then I had some whiskey and shit. She's like, wait whiskey. I was like, yeah, she's like, that's what you get
I have that feel feels good. I hope you enjoy that. That's what you need. You're junkie
Then she's like, yeah, then she's like, you know what here's something on Google quick
And then the next day like thankfully it went away away
Welcome to clown college we have profound knowledge in many ways to elevate and make his own polish
So if you want to hear a little honest you take song always to make it as a comic the stick around for a while
If you're down to clown we got to guess right now just to show you
Oh
No
Brandon actually caught on to it fast
Look at that we're getting into the Cold War we just left the Korean War. Uh-huh. You about to have to be a
No war you need to stop hanging out with Jake bro. Yeah
What's your favorite era of history to study 1900s, okay? Okay?
Well part of the 19 like that probably the early like probably around 30s 40s 30s and below 40s below. Yeah, that too
That's boy down there
40 and below 50s 60 what happened in the 20s. What big event what happened in 20s?
Well, yeah, like the first movie that had talking it was called a jazz singer and then what else you had?
Yeah, the great gasp he came out
Mickey Mouse he popped up on the screen. They already it was originally I was wild but that you know that dick took it
He was like fuck that
explain
Yeah, you remember in the studio. I don't know it's like a company's name was like Walter or something something man Disney
Yeah, it was Disney's
He was Walt Disney
And there was another guy no
He was under somebody else's operation and the dude was like this
He was I'm gonna give you this amount of money. He's like no, I'm not taking that much money
So he was like, okay, I'm gonna take your character
So then I was gone and he was like fuck now
I gotta make a new character and he made this mouse. Oh
And yeah, is that what uh, I heard people to say steamboat Willie. Yep, and that's who he was
That's what that's how he was introduced cuz he's a
Free
License now or whatever. He's not copyrighted anymore because it's time. Yeah, so now public
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you can use them to do whatever you want. I've seen a few
Flicks with him. Let's do a steamboat. Let's make a steamboat Willie live action. Yeah
So this was the first ever Mickey Mouse cartoon. Yep right here sick dude. Yep in the original dude
This is who it was gonna be if they didn't take it
Oh, no, he bears a striking resemblance to somebody I'm not too fond of
Oh, wow
He's goofy as hell. He reminds me of what the fuck is that one down there that yeah, that's just fucking
Reminds me of a
What's that guy's name?
Matt Groening's comic before the Simpsons, you know Matt Groening did like the Simpsons. Yeah, he had a comic before that
That was a just like Matt Groening wrap. Yeah, Groening rabbit. God. How did it shouldn't
Doesn't look like yeah, I guess it's just a rabbit. I guess that's it. Yeah, it looks
What is this a condom?
Yeah, it was like a comic I
Think I don't remember right. Oh
Condom
So the form rabbit, that's cool. Yeah, I mean, you know, we all start somewhere. I like how they kept the same font though
Speaking of that actually we heard like a song that was really good
And I was like this could be the next best thing. What is it and I'll let you hear it right here
I don't know if we could play really but you're gonna be your hot cheeto song
It might even be a better than some two-paw
What you'll see pop the first thing was deaf man attacked on a plane
That's not I don't have tiktok. Yeah, let's go back
Oh, I think I might have a follow-up video for this one goes how I think it might
The fuck
You can't plug your mom stuff on
You too, I mean there's like a couple with that guy with the glasses
Yeah, okay, we're gonna click on here. We'll go to videos man. Oh there it is
Okay, okay now, okay, now
Oh
Sound like world into water
I
Branding kind of likes it
Damn, dude, have you ever have you ever heard a seagull?
Brooks and Dunn's alright
Also, like it goes viral on partying maestro oca Leila epa yadani song
And in English that means little baby
No, not real no the mic back home. Yeah, I had to keep asking but are we going right now?
Can you search I think you'll be able to play this is he gonna shred
The thing is I haven't cougled this before he's gonna shred it. Yeah, sure. What oh
You to
Nah, it's it's an Instagram post is what I'm
Let me click on images maybe my favorite video right now, but of course it's in my favorite on Instagram
I don't know if it's gonna be this is all just this makes me seem gay, but
Thanks Charlie for agreeing to be on the party
We're done being gay what's going on
Hey, so I can't get us there anymore. That's a election season, huh?
And so who do you think's gonna win now who you voting for but who you think's gonna win? I?
Don't you see I don't focus enough on it to know so you don't you don't just it's like a bad like it like it's yeah
I know we got Trump or
How you say it yeah, yeah, Kamala
Kamala I really I have no clue. I don't I've heard it's like the punctuation
I don't come a lot, but I like to Kamala. Oh come on. Okay now that helped me out
Mnemonic device
You would know how to use the comma
It's like it's looking the odds are looking pretty
Big right now for Trump with all this advertisement and stuff
He's doing but then again when I think about it
It could be a way to make people think that he's like really going up look at all this advertising
I got all these people down with me. That means you guys are gonna vote for me
But who knows you know Kamala might overcome yeah on the top at the end
So you saying it's like a fourth quarter comeback right now. Yeah, so it's anybody's ball game
Hell yeah, dude, you know I have when I drive around town
I see those electronic billboards. Yeah, and I keep seeing like everywhere on those it just says vote Republican
It doesn't even say Trump just you know, that's the strategy. I mean that's the only way Republicans win
Well, it's because it before it was thinking on the reputation
Well, before it was the only people saying vote were Democrats because they knew more voters meant more likely to get Democrats
but then the Republicans lost last time around not just a
Not just in presidential but a good number of other races and then they realized oh shit
We have to do a get out the vote thing to in order to get some votes. I only know this shit
Cuz I worked at a or for a canvassing
Organization last year which was or not last year. I don't know a few years ago
It was George's governor race and it was honestly one of my favorite jobs because I just walked around knocking on people's door
Nobody comes to the door. So you knock you just walk around these like nice neighborhoods and tell them to vote
And they paid like like $18 an hour on today
Yeah, they were paying like because people were pouring money into the state because they knew Georgia might flip and
The thing was it said it was like a nonpartisan
Company, but like if you went up the chain, it was it was Democrat
But God these people in these neighborhoods hated it because like I would literally go to the door and there'd be like five different door hangers from
Like the last canvassers to come around
So it's very annoying to these people because they were just like in the swing state or the swing area or whatever
Do you ever have to go to rough neighborhood? Yeah, I went to some refer ones. They don't
I don't know why I'm laughing
I we know what he meant
What he I
Guess I wish there was like more so they did not mess with what I hate
I was fine with walking around from place to place every now and then they wanted you to set up a table and
You know that just I don't know why but that's where it's like defending a castle versus being on the move
And I did not like to think the only time I ever ran into anything was it was like I was outside of a Walmart
And it was an old white guy and he was like I was registering people to vote right and he was like oh you can just
You just registered a vote and I was like, yeah, you can just I'll do it right here if you're not and then he and then he's like
What did he say?
He said he's like he's like oh so anybody can just come up and do this and I'm like yeah, dude
That's how it work like and he's like so if I was some illegal immigrant blah blah blah and I'm like yeah
I guess I don't know man. My job is just have you fill out the paper. They decide later whether it's like a good or bad
Thio and I said I accidentally went I went whether it's a good or bad ballot and he went so you have ballots and I went no
no, I don't have ballots I have been the voter registration car and
Yeah, he got all mad at me and I got mad at we yelled at each other it caused a scene in front of Walmart
Hell yeah, and I folded up my table and I shoved it in the trunk
And then I had to buy some stuff from Walmart so I walked in and he was in there
We like ran into each other again and just didn't say anything
Just so you know I drive a Jeep Patriot. Yeah, I
Might be a liberal but
I
Don't know dude. I you can go online and see if you're registered to vote. I didn't know you could do that
Yeah, I am registered to vote bro. I think I am I just I'm not gonna stand in line, bro
Be honest with you. I'm not doing that. I love Emma doesn't have early voting is very annoying cuz like I
Don't want to stand in line either and yeah in Georgia
You could just I mean you could have gone like two weeks ago and just do it. You can so felt
Yeah, yeah, and nobody's there because if you go a month before the election
Nobody's even thinking about it. So you just walk up and do it. It's no problem. What's go see what the score is right now
Some polls we have cuz I know you can bet on it because it won't stop popping up on my fucking Twitter
Oh, yeah, you can talk about a lot of betting ads dude
It's like betting on everything you can bet on everything. I saw I got an ad that said you can bet on when Dom's heart is gonna give out
I
Would take the under
Wow, okay, let's see and this is all from early voting or this just pull
Oh, it's just what I don't think they count the I don't know
All right, so it looks like it's split
Whoa, whoa, why does main have three different?
Pie charts, dude. Yeah, really though
That is weird because they do all right. I've noticed this before some of the states are
Man, I don't know. I'm trying to tackle this some of the state. It's like Maine and Iowa
You'll see on election night on the map. They have like inner
Cortiles or like they have like intersections that go differently. Isn't Iowa a big deal like yeah, I think I was yet Iowa
Cockets. I don't know what I just know the term. I've heard the term. Yeah. Yeah
This is where you should get all your election news from
To Trump's one in Florida seven zero
Why the hell is it Maine and Nebraska the ones that are splitting up into multiple like y'all who that that's not yeah
That I'm not bad not Iowa. It's Nebraska. Yeah, it's like some weird
But all the gather they got what five yet for
Texas of course
Damn Kansas. All right, so you've seen the numbers. What you got if you had to make a prediction
This will be out the day before election. Do you want my honest? Yeah, this is gonna be on Monday. Yeah
Oh, I think probably I think Kamala will win
But I mean I don't care. No, just this is just strictly not who you think I'm gonna win because I think I think the powers
The powers that be that I mean Trump's just to you would think that yeah, like he like if he's the president
It's gonna be four years. It's just like shit is going on every day every day
Not having shit going on every day like it's been more chill
Which is nice because people were freaking out from 2016 to 2020 and it culminated in the fucking pandemic and it was just
It was intense. Yeah, yeah, I guess I mean not for me, but anytime I interacted with anybody else
If I had to guess I'm saying she wins big to me too. I think be think you'd be landslide Victor
I do think is gonna be he's because he lost his fastball and it should have been over with this
Because I'm thinking if you're thinking about it from a sports perspective. I mean when he got shut
We should when he got shot in the ear
That's like the only way that the other team can win is if they get an onsite's kick. Yeah, you know, I mean, right?
That's the only way that and then they did they did get the onsite kid when they switch the combo
And they got an onsite that's actually a fantastic analogy and it's like I didn't mean because it was you
What's the gray area
Did y'all have y'all see yeah, but like what is that?
It's just other whether it's independence or
Libertarians have y'all seen the Alabama ballot like the local ballot
It's just funny because I counted it there was a
23 things to vote on like positions and and out of the 23 things only two of them had Democrats
Most of them are just uncontested Republicans or two Republicans, but yet six of them had libertarians
So there's more libertarians here than there are Democrats. Yeah, that's pretty funny
I I mean it as a supporter of third parties. I want to be into it
Usually the libertarians are a little crazy, but like I don't know these guys. Maybe they're all right and ladies, but so
What that you're telling us right now Charlie is that Brandon's running from office next time Brandon you could run with you
Could already yeah, I'm good. What do you mean?
You're gonna run running for president. No, you can't run for president
You could be like corner. You could go local. Yeah, you'd be corner cop troller cop troller damn that. Yeah
Is that the one you pulled out at work yesterday? That's a really good. I was so surprised that he knew what a comptroller was
I know I do what I know I say honestly
I can't tell you what it is, but it's just the fact that exists you could do it. Yeah, you'd be like the mage
Yeah, man, I gotta see it first
game game warden
game or
I think it is a lot more so it's a lot more than two game or yeah, like yeah game or man game or man. Yeah, you
Basically go tell drunk people fishing to knock it off and you got to talk to a lot of Asian people about the small-ass fish that they have
Fucking like freezer or whatever. Yeah, dude. It's I mean that is literally yeah
No, they have to do little shit like we saw I think we saw the one day at work
Maybe you weren't there, but they by that creek or river or whatever they
Wanted the game not the warden, but like somebody under him
Like stopped all these Mexican people must be in like a can't fish here. You know like a license. Yeah. No, yeah
Yeah, just like Pascale
But you get like a certain like if you're a hunter you get a certain amount of tags
Right, you can't kill in certain seasons and if it's not above a certain size you can't kill it or keep it or whatever
So you can do that you down. We'll make we'll do all the promotion for it
We'll get you on TV. You could talk to the good people of Alabama Huntsville. We get you a hat
Mm-hmm. What kind of hat what kind do you want?
What's gonna be your look for you it's gonna have to be a 10 gallon
Yeah, yeah, you want slacks to the feather on the side? Oh, yeah, sure velvet or fish and hook in the front
With the feather
Fishing brandon no, no, I mean I went fishing one time. But I catch anything no no, I mean
No, somebody try to get me to hold it. I don't want to hold it too
I got that
The fish like I had one friend grab it you freaked out like boom boy, bitch and throw it back in the water
Probably fucked it up. I hope he didn't I don't know if you're supposed to throw fish in the water. No, that's fine
I love the water. So you can slam them in the water. No, I mean, yeah, I don't know if you go for a slam
That's a very popular trend on Instagram
We're respectful fishermen. We like put the fish back right and there's a certain way you do it
And then there's other people and then let it go if you like wiggle its mouth or something to get it to go through the gills
It started up. Okay, and then some people like we're respectful fishermen. They just fucking throw it as far as
the water
Fishing is that weird line of like people don't really give a foot nobody's going after fishing
Nobody cares. I don't know
This is weird land supremacy
No
Yeah, it's recording. Okay, I don't see any color on it right now. Okay. Thank you for the light
I just didn't see no light. I was like, what the hell?
We're on air dude
We don't see light don't look towards it. It's not your time. Yeah
Yeah, not yet. Are you famished? Famished. What do you mean? Hungry hungry? No, why not dude?
I almost died last night. What happened?
Cuz you see man, I had a great night. We went to speak easy on Halloween. I see you killed a monster. Thank you
Yeah, that was a good night. That was a good night
And I I decided you know what well before it happened
I was like, you know what I'm not driving my fans is driving. So let me get four shots of whiskey
First time the first one I start off. I walked up to her
I said, let me get a double shot with some a little bit of ginger ale
She just put a little tap in there and she was like you want to close your tab? I was like, yeah
I'm not coming back. So then I leave I drink that and then I come back and I'm like, you know, I fucking
Let me get a shot of whiskey. So then I get a shot of whiskey and then I come back one more time
I'm like, I know I said two times I was done
but let me get one last shot of whiskey and I got one more shot of whiskey and
Man, I went up there had a great time
Then I went home. Uh-huh had a great time went to bed
And then I woke up at like three in the morning holding my chest
Like finna die, I felt like because dude, you don't understand like listen my chest was burning
It felt like it felt like somebody was grabbing me. I every time I moved to got worse
I like fell on the ground when the bathroom. I was just like praying like it was so bad
It was like that type of pain that makes you like I would have been like I'm about to quit counting become a preacher
I want to get better spirit of the world. Yeah, I was like the whole night. I was I was just begging
I was like, please like just please can't can this stop like I'm sorry like whatever I did
I'll change my life. Yeah
Look here like can you help me? She's like, you know, you'll be fine. I'm like you understand
I might be dying right now, and I'm sorry
If I don't wake up you are I'm like, no, you know
And and then after that, oh my gosh, dude, it was for 130 all the way until 430
So I'm up all night just holding my chest. Yeah, literally freaking out. Mm-hmm trying to like I'm just I'm just and then I started
Grunting the whole time. It was so bad. I called my mom
Yeah, because she's at work
So I was like, hey, I feel like I might be dying and she was like, what are you talking about?
Like my chest is burning. I'm hurting. I can't like I feel like it feels like a fucking heart attack
And I'm freaking out and she's like, okay. Hold on son. What did you eat today? I said just pizza
Sushi and then I had some whiskey and she's like, wait whiskey. I was like, yeah, she's like, that's what you get
I have that feel feels good. I hope you enjoy that. That's what you need your junkie
Then she's like, yeah, and then she's like, you know what here's something on Google click
And then the next day like thankfully it went away. No, but then I had like war boy ass hiccups
I'm still getting little flashes and stuff man. Dude. I had
How four shots Wow five. No, it's probably I could've been these five. No, okay
It could have been how quick I drunk it or something, but I was help. Yeah, did you take some tombs?
I did and it didn't help it didn't help and then I even took some pep talk bimbo that didn't help
You drink some water. Yes. I didn't help either
Bismol then I went down and tried to find bacon so there was no bacon
Wiping his tears
Do bacon soda is what what helps you put in water?
And there was nothing he's fucking 90 years old
Wow like almost died last night dang did you ever try I feel like I feel like you might innately be a propped up sleeper
You give me propped up sleeper energy much like this guy
TV and try to fight the pain man, man
Man, it was hard. Did you try that? Did you try sleeping? I tried but soon as I laid down it got way worse
I wouldn't have a like lay down, but you get enough pillows that you're like kind of upright. I tried you tried it
And still whatever I did it hurt and I just kept on like I was like man, this might be it
Oh my this is like I was like this might be a heart attack. I can't believe this. I'm 21 years old already
Three hour heart attack
My family was like that's what happens man. Black people can't have whiskey. You need brandy
brandy. Oh
This might be a thing. I've always wondered why why people like sweeter drinks so much more. I can't handle brandy
It's too much. Yeah, it's too sweet. Yeah, yeah, sure. You know what brandy is like ergon jerk
I thought that was like a fruit wine. Well brandy cognac is kind of sweet too
Uh, can yeah
That's what we all that's what we always have the sugar. That's hennessey, isn't it? Yeah
Or like a bright like mixed mixed drinks. Yeah, I've watched the NBA finals. Yeah
I've seen that
The LeBron hennessey, did you see that?
Oh people are like I need LeBron inside of me. They were freaking out on social media
It's like the Gatorade ads, but he's sweating drop it hennessey
Damn, but I just like imagine branding propped up in the bed. It's like
And you know what?
Fuck it. I'll send you a picture right here. This is me like lily like you see me
I'm in the fat albums who hold my chest
You never take it all
I did when I got home. I'm just talking about this picture that that picture is what I look like at 3 a.m
Prop up on the bed just begging for my life
Why she's just trying to sleep. Yeah that whiskey heartburn
That sounds like a very shitty country song. Yeah, that's yeah, it does it does
The best hennessey ad would be a
Uh, was a shannon sharp sex tape. No drink hennessey. You'll plow like this man
Yeah, that was a crazy thing to do to be fair. I didn't actually see it. I'm just using
He was giving that young man a hard time. Yeah
You saw it down. You leave uncle long. Yeah. Yeah, I saw what you could only hear
Yeah, he can hear it. He did it good like he even owned up to it too, man. Remember that?
Yeah, he owned up to it. He was like, hell, yeah, I did that and you saw I did it good on this camera
And they were all like hell. Yeah, you did man. Whatever that is good
They can be tough to own up on some of the sex stages or when asap rockies came out and everybody was
Oh, yeah, they it was kind of weak. I mean like if we're if we're given scores. Yeah
I didn't know he had a sex date. That sucks. They did and they were clowning him bad hard. Yeah. Yeah
Oh, shit with the bed. He did that. That's the one with rihanna. Rihanna. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think it was with her
It was before well, it might have been while he was with her, but it was from before her
Oh, okay. Yeah, it was just a lady with a fat ass
Yeah, so that's good for him, but
But yeah, it it looked it looked a little weak, which is all right. I mean, I I tend that's how I tend to perform
I think it's actually better
I mean everybody's so focused on this myth of the female orgasm, you know, and it's like when are we gonna get over this?
Right. It's tired. It's tired. It's heck. Let's stop. Hey, there
It's heck. It is hack. Yeah
Oh, you say you you say you have to deliver. Yes
Like
You know, no, yeah, what was that to finish that? Yeah, I said, yeah, just like Santa Claus. We deliver in presents
Oh, yeah, it's doing good on Christmas. I know what you're saying going down that chimney. Uh, uh, yeah
I'm doing something under the tree. Yeah
Yeah, the jingle bells. What's the chimney something between the target? You don't know what a chimney is. No, I know what a chimney is
I'm saying what's the chimney?
I'm just double checking and there's metaphor. I was like, what's the metaphor of it? To be fair?
I don't know which hole is the chimney
I'm like a chimney is long
And then you have a chimney to flat
Then you have a chimney to just open so I'm like it could be either one. It could be anything
It could be a if we're metaphorically talking about sex stuff. It could be, you know, the the dick. Yeah
It can be uh, it could be uh, the vagina
It could be it can't be the ass. I'm gonna go off that. It's the ass. Yeah, because
Yeah, the soot and the smoke coming out of it's like gas coming out of it. You know, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah
Doesn't smell bad. That's where you're at
That's where I'm at backdoor delivery
Hey, it's a backdoor man
Well
Could be you you know, queef out of your ass. Yeah
No queefing
You guys ever fart out your dick what I'm kidding. That's just how it don't
But if you did it'd be like elephant drunk
That was scared the hell out of me, man. I couldn't do it
Brandon would cry. He would cry. He would cry. You know what I'm saying now one day and they do that call from like oh, shit
That means he's dying man. That's it
Mama just farted out of my dick
That's why you need to go to church
Dude, that's it. You need to get back in church
Man, I might have the last time
You on the damn phone too much, Brandon
What you in the bathroom for, man? Uh-huh. Yep
Hey, you know what you do it what?
In the bathroom knocking around man. I'm taking a shit handling business. Yeah, that's all you're doing
You ever killed two birds with one stone? Oh, that's a good question. Have you? Oh, yeah, dude every young man
Oh, but you mean like take a shit and then jerk off. Yeah. Yeah at the same time though
I mean, I mean, I like why it's coming out before you before you wiping it out. I'll be overstimulated for sure
Yeah, I I think there's an argument there that it is gay to shit and jerk off at the exact same time
Yeah, no, no, like I'm saying while it's coming out. Oh, yeah
Well, you can't do that. You can't no bike a focus that hard. No, I mean, I don't I don't it's like trying to pat your head
Sure, but yes, I've definitely gotten a hemorrhoid from that
I have it. I'm hemorrhoid free thus far, but oh good job. Yeah, thank you. I'm sure
If it's impossible to like
Take a shit and like piss, you know, like you always piss while you're taking a shit
You might not be able to release semen while you're in the process of shitting like actively shitting
How are you saying you can't piss while you shit? No, I'm saying you you can only piss while you shit
I can I can I can not piss but the body wants the body
Typically wants the body wants it. Yeah, I don't know. I'm leaving the maximum release
I should have a weird thing. I have to I think maybe that kind of stopped for me at a certain point
And now I have to uh after I shit
And I wipe and everything I've explained this to one of y'all before but
I'm done and then I have to get up and turn around and pee
I have to be after I shit
That's insane
Because if I don't if I don't the next time like I'll leave the bathroom the next time I sit down
A little pee will come out like it'll like shoot out like just a little bit of pee. Yeah
So I always think about whatever I want in the chain
I always think about when I'm shitting while we're talking about shitting. I did have this one thought
All right, nice. Anyways, the mic didn't pick that up, but I farted on cue. Thank you very much
Thank you for not picking up the mic and doing that. Yeah, then I wanted to fart into it, but I was like the next
Yes, this is why you got to have your pants down to sit down. I'm talking about what you mean
You immediately got defensive. He's like what?
What? Of course that makes sense. You talking about like that?
You got to have your pants down to sit down, dude
You care to explain that? I was talking about like when you use the Russian key remember how we were talking about
Yeah, you got to take your pants off
Like having another you can have it all the way down. Yeah. Why are you shitting? He's saying a pee. He's saying a pee
Yeah, he's saying a pee. That's what I'm talking about
You fart when you pee? No
No, that's not what I'm talking about. Then what do you do? Are you trying to wear all the way to the ground too? Yes
Of course, that's what kind of foolish question is that dude. Why would he have his pants around his ankles and his underwear around his thigh?
I don't know what that slips and gets on my pants. I'm good
And your shirt's be so short too though
Yeah, thankfully I got it up great. You would never get anything on your shirt though. Yeah, that's good
But thankfully I got the size up now. So
Let's come up. I'm talking about the shirts. We've been praying for you. Thank you. XL. XL. Yep
You've been wearing mediums there for a while, but you're large large dark ages. Yep
We're gonna grow back in them largest too. Watch. Uh-huh grow back in them. Yeah, I mean my bad shrink bag until I'm gonna
Yeah, one night. We don't we don't we don't get it Brandon. Are you all gonna understand anything? That sounds it's going a journey
You ready to go journey? Yeah, let's go in there after tomorrow. You know, you got this big match. Well big bear has this big
Yeah, it's gonna be
How do I feel I'm very excited. Okay any nervousness or just pure excited. Have you been practicing at all?
No, I got nobody to practice with we practice for a little bit. Yeah, we did do that little step
Hey, we could practice with you telling me you haven't hit Athena with a stunner yet
No, and then my friend
Nathan who uh, when I was a kid, we were like Russell Elmos and shit and jump off of beds. He's not down there. So
You lost your grappling buddy. Yeah
Exactly. You could beat jakes ass. Yeah, please do it. He needs it. God damn it. Does he need it?
Hey, can we talk about Brandon
Hitting that fucking three during the game? Oh my god. Yeah, first of all red team
Let's fucking go. Yeah, you guys lost bad, but I'm sorry. Yeah
I won the war because because Brandon was making baskets. I was running around a lot to no avail
I was making nothing happen, but Brandon
Put at least at least a couple in I would like to just in one game. I would like to say disclaimer
uh
This was the second game and I was already tired
excuses, dude
absolute excuses okay not to mention your weight
It's the second game we play but to be fair we have played a total of 10 minutes of basketball
Up until that point
It's not like we played an hour game and like
I was tired though
Nobody's debating that
At one point of contingency. I don't even want to see the footage because I know I just have my hands on my hips like a
No, you were just standing under the goal the entire time. There was never a time job was not under the goal
Which was a good strategy. I'll say y'all got a lot more rebounds. That's bully breaded out there
But hey, but brandy got that shot. He hit that wet well. He did he did twice twice
Yeah, twice from far out one was I mean really far the one that you made that was completely fair
Yeah, because the first one I had found uh
Bryce or somebody right before and jack our referee didn't call shit. Did not call any
He's a good man. Yeah, this is a sport. Yeah, this is basketball. Let those boys play
But yeah, that next one brand ahead that was beautiful. Yeah, that had me hype
Like you had that you had the guy who opened up the building height too. He was standing there like watching through the cracks of the door
Yeah, he was
You know, yeah
That was coach p
Yeah, I was like I need to start flicking my wrist. So I went to octopus
I went back to the gym that I used to go to when I was a kid
The whole snap is brandy. I was like, yep
And I went in there and I was all by myself just shooting shots all day. Can you wait? Really?
When did you do that? I was like the day before really? Okay. So you were warming up came in a hot
I also trained dude. You did you did four hours that same day four acts. That was a mistake. That might have been a little much
I was thinking that when you said I don't think you would have changed the outcome by much
But that was a mistake, bro. I just recovered
Yeah, yesterday. I was finally like my legs didn't feel like shit. Oh, wow. We're back to my big toes. Yeah
My mistake was I was practicing on like an eight foot goal. So I was like god damn. Am I good?
I'm like I'm like dunk on these guys
That was brandy good shit. Thank you. Yeah proud of you. You're way better than I thought then that they made you out to be
I told you I was gonna get this is the best. We said he was the best
And then I tell you the defense was good. Well, that didn't happen
That's why we lost but
I
You actually did you had an offensive master class. Yeah, I did zero offense all the events you had all offense
You were on fire, bro. NBA Jam style. Hell. Yeah. Hell. Yeah. Hell. Yeah. And what'd you win?
$100. Hmm. What'd you do with that? Spending on? Spending on life. Yeah. Yeah, that whiskey check had to run you up
So yeah four shots of whiskey and straight there at uh,
He's shot at the speakeasy at least like $35. Yeah
Yeah, 30 30 and all it was only 30 and all I think it was like 30. Yeah, because I got a double for 15. I think
Yeah, there should be seven. They were just giving you like the bar mat juice. Yeah
Maybe
That's probably why I had that heart attack
Yeah, probably dude. You should see that killed
You guys start going to doctor like pat
Damn, he asked me for information
For a doctor? Yeah information. Well, don't you go to the va though?
Oh, oh, so you're like, yeah, you just need to go serve and then I got you
Yeah, I I have a sneaking suspicion. He wouldn't pass
But never say never we see pat pull up in a charger
Whatever the fuck the car is I got in guys
Oh, shit, you got you guys hungry though, man
Yeah
Where's the good place to go?
Good place to go. You're trying to plug an ad right now. Oh what urban cookout?
Be more subtle about it. I knew it was something and the clock was ticking. How's that?
Oh, wait, we just talked about it. It's about place. I went to that y'all suggested to me. That was really good. Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, was it uh
I'm this is my guess here
Urban cook out
Oh, yeah, I took my whole family there. Hell. Yeah, we went there the other day. Let's check it out. It was really good
Dang man, is that your stomach dude? I'm so hungry
Feel you man. I'm starving
If only there was a unique local eatery offering affordable pricing and unique twist on your favorite classics. Yeah
Hey, hey, look. Do you say you wanted some affordable food? That's also a classic
What I'm gonna tell you a new place called urban cook house man. It's amazing. It's like at white'sburg grime
It's real nearby. We should go right now. Yeah. Yeah
How long you been back there?
A long time
Yeah
Urban cook house with his great staff great prices great environment and most importantly
Great food come down the data urban cook house. We can have a family friendly time and even more at white'sburg drive
My dad come back
All right, we're back nice. Yeah, well done smooth
Go check it out. No, but I did try it. It was really good
It's good. We get it catered at work all the time white women love
Whatever that broccoli salad is broccoli salad is a great meal, dude. Dang. Yeah, apparently broccoli is uh
Especially raw broccoli like that in a brawley salad
Uh, my bad. I'm ruining the plug here
But I have had that it was really good, but apparently raw broccoli is like the number one thing people choke on
Uh, because because two people choked at it at a my girlfriend's workplace
And then they were like looking it up and that's like the number one thing people choke on is raw broccoli
Well, first of all, the only people that eat broccoli salad are women and they're too busy fucking yapping to the food
Yeah, that's true. Just kidding
Grab them
Yep, we are it's not true
Is that true?
Well, I first I did but then we all were joking. I was like, yeah, we joking
So we are uh, the some sometimes you have to slap Athena in the mouth when she talks too much. No, oh my gosh
But do you ever think about it? No, no, that's good. We don't hit people man. Yeah, you shouldn't you never should
But we said use the people
We don't hit any women
That's great. That's a jake
Heaven's sanyos just pops up from the dead
Every girlfriend that I've ever known jake to have could beat him up
1000% oh, yeah, he would hate to hear that
I know he would yeah, he would definitely blow his fucking top. He'd be he's insanely weak for his size
I mean to be fair, he he did get that bar up
No, the time that we had a hundred bar a hundred pounds on the bar. He did he did curl it
I mean half the weight was no longer on it by the time that he got it up, but he did get it up
Uh, I believe is that is that clip in the intro? No, you actually curling it's in the intro. Yeah
That would be on instagram so yeah
Oh, yeah
To be fair, I have to throw this disclaimer out there. Jake will be very upset. He did have an inner ear infection
Oh, that is true. That's true. Yeah, that makes all the difference. It does. That's why that is
That's why he wasn't doing good at badminton either
It affects your strength your coordination your intelligence your everything is
Night vision. I had an inner ear infection once couldn't get hard for a month
Really? Yeah. Yeah, even the gay porn. So
Brandon doesn't like Charlie anymore
That's good
Man, watch it. You watch it. No. No, I'm not being like now, but no
Well, you kind of were like no
Man, no, I didn't but you might have scrolled through when they suggested it
You ever seen a thumbnail of it. Oh, yeah, of course. You look at it for a few seconds. No
But but how does that angle he's he's intermediate gay, right?
Oh
Fluid he's fluid. Yeah, that's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, he has tendencies tendencies
That's a good way to put it. Yeah, it's not wrong with it. Do
Yeah
No, I can't even see it. I could I could never see it
Hmm. I couldn't see it dude on the board. You watch exclusively lesbian
Everybody. Yeah, I went back in the day. No, right now. I know you're off. I know you're off porn right now
But when you did
Really?
I was like, it'll be weird to see some do be like, hey, man, you want this
This stick right here and then like they just do that and I'm like, okay
Oh, this is good. But just do stick is right here in the way. That's yeah, because he's fucking your girlfriend
Like or like not not actually your girlfriend. I like, you know, he's you're watching a dude
Yeah, like the video like because it's like, uh
I don't know. It's kind of like when you watch a movie. You know what I mean?
It's kind of like your your imagination in a way, but don't you you could just only watch a league of their own
So I just switched the person to me. Is that what? Yeah, you just put yourself. I just like, okay
Okay, we're gonna make them black. Give them give them some hair. Here he is. It's branding
Exactly. Bam. Now you don't
Black hair
Brands
Get a little beard in it a little beard in it. Yeah, that's me. There's just a little
A sprinkle of beauty. Have you ever watched yourself? Fuck? Have you ever like recorded them and seen yourself?
Looked in a mirror. No, there's any other reflective
You never did the mirror
That's good. I didn't mirror once. Yeah. Now when I did the mirror
Is it weird that I stared at myself? It was back when I was in shape. This was while you were fit
Yeah, that's when I was fit and I loved every minute. I gotta be honest
Having muscles just makes you gay
The more I work out the more gay I am
It's 100 I do it all the time
It's just like narcissus, you know, you just want to look at yourself all the time. Yeah, you gotta drown in your reflection. Yeah
Well anyways, no, we got all that on the table. Um
Man, I had something before man. Thanks for switching the door
My bad I've only drank in half of the four legos really getting to
My left jaw is numb. He's on the two loco right now
I don't know. Cheers. Oh, that's fucking water dude. Just because you got homework
How old are you?
Homework like Dante
It's fucking dope. Don't you have don't you dare? No, I won't let you finish that sense
according to the test
The IQ test man
Y'all are in the same. First of all, you guys know I wanted to kill myself over this. Whoa. It was Dante on that
Yeah, and he scored above dump. Yeah. Oh my god
If you can pull up the rankings, dude, I would like to see I don't think we got it
We got to go to the live show on youtube
Second one. We'll keep talking. Yeah, you know, I can't wait for this
Charlie you were like the second or third second second smartest person in Huntsville. That's pretty sick
Anybody could have taken the test
Uh
Oh, man. Yeah, I was trying my absolute heart. I almost took a riddle in before it. I didn't but I was like
I do want to
There it is
Jvap
Charlie
Rain it
You're yours truly, dude
Damn. Yeah, Dante with the 111
Impressive. Oh, that's what a college education. But really every I would like
Interesting, I think oh, is a tie that makes a I could really see that
None of this makes sense. What are you talking every part of this?
There's not a piece of this that doesn't add up. First of all, all they want to do is talk about shapes and shit
Nobody needs to know this
No one needs to know
There's an unfortunate demographic friend
I did not notice that
That's fucked up. You know, I almost got you though
Yeah, but yeah, wow that really is you could draw a line
This is this is racism
It's a racist test. They did say that though. It's like a weird color
Yeah, it is there is a thing
There's like a
I shouldn't even start those in it's there's a thing about that that like IQ tests and shit are skewed towards people
Dude, do you get a haircut? I just got a haircut. I just noticed it's yeah. It's kind of weird
It doesn't look it always turns into a bob right after I get hair. It's my hair's always so long
Yeah, so then it always whenever I get it cut it like it's used to the weight of all the hair
So that it springs up and it's always like an asian mom
It's always very like like a little too
I can see you have like a little clip right here. Yeah, that'd be sick dude. Hell yeah
No, it's nice. Dude. I love getting my haircut
I because I get a nice plate because I only get my haircut like twice a year
So I go to like
You know like a nice so I go to women's places to get my haircut
Of course and they you know the sink with the shampoo and they rub your hair and this lady
I have shout out to a immat wheelhouse salon will do like a little like scalp massage massage to
Do
It's really nice. Anyways, it kind of it chilled me out before I came here
So then I was like, oh, I got to go back up with the four loco, you know
Hit somewhere in the middle. Anyways
Yeah, I actually did have a theory about this. I was thinking about on the way over that uh, like uh
okay, so like
When I get my haircut, I don't know this is true for all white guys
But I feel like maybe like I need like a day or two before it looks good again. You know what I'm saying?
Like it doesn't always look good fresh out of the cut. Yeah, that's that's the thing
I've always seen uh seen black media about uh getting haircuts and then feeling really good about
Yeah, yeah, I've never had my first reaction. It's always terrible. Yeah. Yeah. I said two days. I meant more like a week
Yeah, yeah, you gotta it's gotta like set. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, whereas I feel like uh black and Dominican communities
specifically uh
Yeah, and yes the reekens people from the garbage
Uh, excuse me, um, they uh, are you Puerto Rican? No, no, no, actually
That's too bad. Um, no, but like for y'all, it's like right when you walk out it needs to look good
Oh, yeah, like there's no looks the crisp. That's when your lining is all white people here is like lasagna
Like it's really better like after it's set for a little while. I thought you were gonna just keep it that better
Oh, jeez, man. Did they give you the eyebrow glitter to me? Yeah, you do got albar glitter or is that water?
No, I don't know what's going on over there. You've been dazzling me this whole pot. I think it's out of this fucking galactic
forloka. I just
out of the can
Uh, no, I don't know what's going on with the eyebrows. That's uh, it's all natural there
natural glisten
natural glaze
But yeah, it's it's fun talking about what makes the race is so different. Mm-hmm
It is let's talk about the asians down. Alex isn't here
Oh, yeah, we're gonna do with them, man
That's crazy, man. Now, tony hinchcliffe has struck out with all the asians and now he's moving into his Spanish
He's going maybe by proxies blacks with david lucas because then they black people were like anti david lucas for a minute, right?
Yeah, lucas was doing uh, he was doing a little extra
But that's I mean that's who the not really. I mean that's who he is
That's who that's who they all are like when tony made the comments at the Puerto Rican garbage
It's who fucking tony is he's a rose comics. Whoever booked him his fault. You know what I'm saying? Yeah
Hey, well, fuck. Oh fuck. He's supposed to do he's you booked him for that show
Yeah, I know I don't like that he took the gig but at the same time there had to be a check behind it
I definitely whoever thought of that
Like they got fired without it. Yeah, I had to have gotten Trump's lie. I don't even know who that must have been like a traitor, bro
That's benedict Arnold of the GOP. They're like, yeah, let's get this guy this fun. Well, some people literally thought like on the
Right thought that he was like a plant from the left. No. Yeah. No, I read a couple comments about that
I think I think Trump was just like, yeah, we should probably have like at least one gay speaker
Oh man, I wish we could fucking pull up this video man
Do you remember that one I sent you on instagram where it's the flamboyantly gay white guy just walking up to the black guy in his car
And he's like recording them. Oh my god
It out. Can we insert that video here? We could probably put it's gotta be a way to find it
Let me see if I can send it to a clown college. You probably won't find it, dude, but if you do that's that's sick, man. I mean like
It's the craziest
Okay, well scary, what did he search?
Gay dude scared of black. I guarantee the family guy clip hits
Okay, no, uh, did you see if you sent it to me just I can't go out of this app
It's been it's been removed all this
Yeah, they took it down. Oh, I know it's on twitter. You gotta take that down. Yeah. Oh, you see they're coming out with a new scary movie
Really?
Oh my god. Yes. What was the last one with Wayne's brother though with the Wayne's brother with the Wayne's are doing it great
Man, I cannot wait. Oh, that'd be good, dude. Keenan back. Keenan. I have your wings directed
Oh, that's gonna be so fucking good
1996 and they won't pull no punches. It will be
It'll be rowdy
And everybody I think everybody will like it though. Yeah
Like in a good like it would be out in a good way. Oh in the theaters first day. I think of all that material they have now, dude
To all this shit that they can throw jokes about I mean, it's been
20 years since they made the last one. Let's see. Yeah. Yeah 20 right no way
Yeah 20 years since the last scary movie. No since the last one the Wayne's brothers. They only did one of the last one
Yeah, they only did one of two that makes sense. Yeah, the best ones by far
Yeah, I agree. You'd agree
Yes, spoof movie is also like a gone category. No, I can't remember the last spoof movie
Uh, they had um, haunted haunted house the one. Oh, yeah, I remember Marlon did that one. Oh, I don't think I even knew that was a
Spoof. Yeah, it's a spoof. It's called haunted. There's like really shitty d-list
Yeah, that is true. There are some but not like mainstream. Yeah, like have you ever watched naked gun?
Yes, very funny. Oh, I see clips of it, but no, I'm not watching. Dude naked gun is like top tier funny airplanes probably gonna
Airplane's probably gonna be an airplane either. That's that's probably gonna be number one and it's still good and the space balls
That's really good. Spaceballs is good spaceballs. Personal favorite though
Naked guns dude, you get 33rd and 3rd all of them like they're fucking so good. Leslie Nelson is
Just the best at that shit. So wait, what is naked gun? Is that like spy movies? No, like a old cop movie
Oh, okay. That's great. My favorite genre as a kid was uh,
was comedy spy movie
So like pink panther and uh smart people and shit like that
A cop movies right next to that like
Is that his main
Credit. Whoa. Wait. Was he in that?
Holy shit. I don't know. It really is at all. Oh, dude. Dude. That's the shit right here naked guns. Yeah
Wow, does he kill anybody in the movie? Who else is in it? Who are these other guys? Yeah
A lot of people. I can see you the whole cast. This is really good. This is why like oj was was huge
Like he was a football player then he was uh went into acting. That's why he got off just like young thug
Oh, hell yeah
Yeah, dude. Yeah, free jeffrey. Wow. Elvis Presley's daughter. That is crazy
Oh, wow. Hold on. Yep. So they had Elvis Presley's daughter. Wait, wait. Go back, bro. What? Can you hit back?
Yeah, hold on. It said because it said the naked gun 2025. Are they remaking it? No. Oh, yeah
I did hear they're remaking it with them. They're remaking it
I don't know how you can perfect like I mean it's just it's it's it's really just a spoof movie
But people in spoof movies like I swear to god it was like after scary movie too
They tried to be silly in it
You got to let the the silliness of the writing and whatever the movie is be silly and play it straight
He never broke. He wouldn't break in and interviews
Like he had a fart machine and he'll be just talking in like to
To late night and he'll just do it and he'll just stare at him. Wait who Leslie Nelson really? Yeah, I don't know this guy at all
He's like he's like chaspericone before like he doesn't he don't break. Wow. That's great. Yeah, no that is like a key to
comedy acting I remember I uh
The first time I figured that out was uh
Uh, what's his name Jason Sadekis? Yeah, I think on he was on SNL, right? Yeah. Yeah, there used to be a bit
Uh, what up with that? Do you remember that? Yeah, what up with that?
We what up with that what and he would dance on it and it was so funny when he would dance
But he was like really dancing. Yeah, like it was just it just was funny that it was him doing it
Like and but you actually or like jack wax is a great example. You have to like to sing funny. You actually have to sing
Yeah, you know, you can't just like
Fake it, you know, so this is this is he talking about
Who said jonathan
Yeah, yeah, jonathan sadaus
Yeah, oh hell yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, obviously the guy uh
Known for uh being on the sci-fi channel
Oh, yeah, nothing dude. What are you using mega octopus versus giant alligator? That's what I know him from
Mega octopus
Yeah
It's a big octopus fighting big alligator one if I remember right that's that's mega octopus is the lady that had eight babies
Damn
Plus he's just john from john and k plus eight. No, brad. He said jason seducus seducus, okay
Sedona hell
It's probably pop. I mean to be fair like I have no yeah, I don't know
Oh, yeah, that's right. What's up with that all the way to the right?
Right. Yeah, that's him doing the running man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's up with that?
What's up with that? I said, what is up?
What is uh, king man? That's a goat too right there. Oh, yeah king and it's still on it too, right?
24 years big ass suit
Dude, I used to have suits like that when my made us go to church. It was worship
I swear to god, dude
Really, it would be no we have to wear suits all the time. It'd be like on Easter
Uh-huh. You had to wear that and it was literally that color. I swear to god
And then I used it to dress up as for career day as cream of digital bar because like my mom wouldn't buy me a costume or anything
So I just knew I had a suit so I was like and said you're a Korean
Yeah, I said I had to write like a whole thing. I want to song an idiot, but the basketball player, right? Yeah. Yeah
You should just suit. Yeah, I know it didn't make any sense. You should have worn that big ass diaper
He had on and enter the dragon
Oh, yeah, well, he's like, yeah
I won't lie. I I myself owned a purple and a white suit as a child
What sort of god? Yeah
With a hat to match too
You can take the boy out of Atlanta
I told one of my friends that once and he was like were you raised by your grandparents?
He's got fucking sunglasses on
Oh, yeah, that's tight. I'm an American hero right there. Oh, yeah
Dude, I remember in class. I dressed up too. I tried to dress up like the rockers. Remember them?
Hold on. I'll show you a picture from the wwe
Yeah, oh
When Brandon says remember them, I think it's pre 1940
So I was Shawn Michaels and then he fucking he turned on his partner and threw him through that window really?
Yeah, like that. Click on the picture. I'm gonna get his big break. I think. Oh, yeah, I got you
What he he like sweet chins music
Oh
That's the best move Shawn Michael isn't that the best fucking move sweet chain music sweet chain music pretty sick, bro
I mean, I don't know how I mean that shit looks like it hits the fucking face. Yeah, and it's hard. Yeah
So what it's like a it's like a donkey kid like it's a kick to the face. It's a back. It's a back heel kick or whatever
He puts his whole body that's the shit that there's a video
Wait, I should show you the wwe chame music. You misshaw the video. Yeah. Oh, we should see the video of this. It's gonna be cool
The shit hold on
I like when he charges it up in the match. He just like stops on the ground. That's his fire. Oh, he charges
That's pretty cool. Hold on the thing is uh, you know commercials happen
I bet you the goddamn leon Nelson was his pecan. Oh, it's wwe itself. Hmm
Yeah, but hold on. Let me skip to it. I'm gonna turn my back to you right? Oh shit
So he turns his back on
He's like, okay, you cool
They made a
Which one's marty just men and crap touch touching each other
Oh, come on man. Yeah
Damn, yeah, he's down
And it gets worse
Oh, man, it gets worse. Brandon. You're gonna be able to handle this one. Am I gonna be able to handle what?
From before a window?
I didn't agree to get through a window.
Yeah, Brandon. I'm getting Tay's butt naked.
Why you can't say it's butt naked? Oh, I thought that's what we agreed on.
You should wear a diaper. You should wear an adult diaper.
Why not?
No, you should be butt naked, man.
Well, I wear a diaper.
Just a diaper, that's it.
I think so.
Look at that, it's tight.
Why does he have slits all the way up to his ass?
Yeah, that was a 90.
That's what they want me to be wearing at gym now.
That's where they got the same fucking leggings on right now at the gym.
You like watching this crap, man?
You're still here.
So you wore what that dude had on?
No, what we did was I cut ribbons.
Like a macho man?
Yeah, that's what I did.
Everybody was like, this one girl tapped me and was like, you know that's what I wear, right?
And I was like, what are we talking about?
They're like, that's something everybody like you gain?
I'm like, nah, man.
Nah, man, that's the macho man.
They're like, who?
And I was like, y'all don't like wrestling?
And I was like, okay, then you don't know.
And they're like, well, we know something.
Nah, I'm like, nah, man.
Damn.
Yeah, let me be a wrestler, man.
You dressed up as a firefighter.
They're not going to be more for the community.
I would say, so.
For a certain community, for sure.
Yeah, very special community.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
They need entertainment.
Yeah, and I claimed it.
I don't know, I wouldn't be surprised with the middle of a diagram of firefighter fans
And WWE fans pretty big.
Every career day they just swat back and forth with blue firefighter and Shawn Michael.
Crazy sweet chain mute, kick that door in.
Crazy.
In the big world there's no one but the Bulls.
J.
We change me kick that door in oh dude that'd be sit. Why do firefighters not have like signature moves? Yes
The jaws of life
No
No, I tried to be a firefighter, you know actually I thought about it really
Definitely do it I bomb the interview so I passed the physical test. I was proud. I had a good time too
They'd be like just walking backwards
You'll still be able to breathe fine
No, I luckily the same at the same time as when I failed the firefighter
Better interview and then ended up working in the sewer and like the same week so yeah
Yeah, I just bomb the interview dude. Well, they I don't know what you're supposed to say
Okay, cuz I mean to be honest the only reason I really wanted to be a firefighter was I thought the schedule seemed awesome
Cuz it's 24 on 48 off
I was like I could spend a night there and then do whatever I want for two days and
So then I got there and first as the other person is like at the interview and it was like a
Panel interview so there's like 10 people there and then just you I know so it's like kind of intimidating too
but as the
First person is in there
They give you a little prompt and you had to and ask you it basically asked why do you want to be a firefighter and?
I
Had no idea
So I had like 10 minutes or maybe even less like five minutes like write a statement didn't even finish it
I was so nervous. I spent the first like minute just like doing push-ups to try to like get less nervous
And then I wrote something I I remember writing about how his drum line captain
I don't know and I wasn't but I remember writing that
who knows why and
Didn't finish they just came in and I was like well
I'm not done and they're like well you have to go and then I went into the interview and they were just
They were like laughing at me
I wasn't trying to be funny either. I was like yeah, I was like yeah, I'll cut my hair
And yeah, I didn't get it. I knew walking out. I didn't I asked the guy
As I was walking out. I was like because you have one guy that kind of shepherds you around
Mm-hmm, and I was like, how do you think that went? He's like you'll hear from us
I knew he meant like I'm not gonna hear good from you. So yeah, I filled it. That's fine. I'm glad I'm not a firefighter
I even deer in it. I was like I should not be responsible for anybody's life
Like I like the idea of like a high intensity like get in get out job
Like I do like that, but I like I shouldn't be in charge of anybody
I'm struggle with my own let alone somebody else's you gonna be in some real shit. No, really. Yeah, no
Everywhere they come to accidents. They go in there
They have to nowadays they go to literally everything you have to be you basically have to be an EMT and a firefighter
Because it's just whoever gets there first. Hey, you would have seen some horrific shit. Yeah, that was the other thing
I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna deal with like seeing you know, you used to yeah
I'm sure you used to I wasn't too worried about the injuries as much as like showing up like a sad home
Yeah, you know what I'm saying? We're like they like it's some like
Grandma that's like too fat and dying and she called y'all and then you're in there
And it's whatever but then you see that like the granddaughter like lives with her and you're like her life
Sucks sucks. So you just keep thinking about it, but you get 48 hours off to deal with it
Yeah, 48 hours of sit on it
Get back in to work the next day
It's a lot more
I'm like they're the only people that get paid to just like work out while they're at the fucking thing
Dude your material would be insane. I was saying this was right as I was getting in a comedy too
In fact, like I think the week that I passed the physical exam was the same week. I started comedy
I think it was damn close if it wasn't the same week
And so I don't know what the fuck my life was about to be but I'm gonna start telling jokes and I'm gonna rescue people
Yeah, I mean
It's a tough decision. I mean if you want to go for it, you can absolutely go you saying you're gonna be a fine
Maybe I might I'm gonna let's say you probably could be a great comedian. Yeah
You could
You want it you you want to go and kick indoors in the fire rehearsals
You down
Here's what I'll say is if you're gonna be a firefighter comedian
You're gonna be doing material about firefighting and quite frankly you don't need that
I don't want to lose you brand. Yeah, you're right. I was thinking of a way out of Publix and oh
We just gotta be around there's some other things you PS driver you
Would put packages on the long door
You should have one out now they're hiring seasonal you should have brown you get way more. Yeah, I'm talking way more
You know, he's gonna have the shorted gonna be incredibly tight
He's going to be 90 years old he's gonna be like yeah man just run him around
Yeah
Yeah, I'll be tight all right y'all. That's the good
Thanks for having me guys shut up. Hell yeah, I'm college community podcast and all fun still comedy
You are Mike Selling right now
Wow, that's all right
What am I supposed to you don't have to keep talking
I
I fucking hate scrappy dude. I