1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 This week on Clown College. 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,000 How do you think Brandon Willis will do? 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,000 I think Brandon is going to be a dark horse in this thing. 4 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:20,000 I know Brandon comes off as wholesome, but that's a mad scientist right there. 5 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,000 I think he's actually going to do a lot better than... 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,000 I think he's going to be the top clown at Clown College, I can tell you that. 7 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:30,000 And I mean that shit wholeheartedly. 8 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:01,000 We are excited because we have a fantastic show for you. 9 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:15,900 But we're going to use the 10 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:26,900 key call. 11 00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:28,900 We kind of got to have some clowns. 12 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,900 Y'all get loud around the stage. 13 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:56,900 Your host at the Clown College County Podcast. 14 00:01:56,900 --> 00:02:01,900 We'll figure out how to sit down in a minute. 15 00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:02,900 How y'all doing? 16 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,900 It's your man again. 17 00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,900 Y'all ready to have some fun tonight? 18 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:09,900 Fuck yeah, man. 19 00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:14,900 Give it up for the killer clown, clown, clown college live show. 20 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:17,900 It's just our show. 21 00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:19,900 What do you mean it's our show? 22 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,900 We're learning. 23 00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:22,900 Hell yeah, guys. 24 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:23,900 Thank you for coming out tonight. 25 00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:25,900 I'm so glad we packed the room out. 26 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:29,900 It would be so awkward if it was half empty. 27 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,900 That would be so weird. 28 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:34,900 All right, so if you're not... 29 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:40,900 Clap your hands if you've ever seen the podcast before. 30 00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:41,900 Okay, okay. 31 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,900 Notice my coworker is not clapping. 32 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:45,900 That's so fucked up, dude. 33 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:46,900 I don't blame you, man. 34 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,900 Refrain. 35 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:53,900 So to get everybody familiar with this, what we're going to do, we're going to play a little game. 36 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:57,900 And since you guys came out to support us, we want to give back a little bit. 37 00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,900 So it'll be cash prizes. 38 00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:02,900 So we're going to play a clip that's called Who Said That? 39 00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,900 So it's going to be right here. 40 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,900 It's going to be a phrase, right? 41 00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:07,900 A sentence. 42 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,900 And you're going to just guess which one of us said it. 43 00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:12,900 You don't know us that well, but you know, this is going to be fun. 44 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:13,900 All right, y'all ready to do that? 45 00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:14,900 All right. 46 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:15,900 All right. 47 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:16,900 All right. 48 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:17,900 So Brandon, here is your mic, sir. 49 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:19,900 Thank you. 50 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,900 And Dom, you got your money ready? 51 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:26,900 So what we're going to do, guys, if you'll get out those green tickets you got when you came in tonight, 52 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,900 we're going to do it by ticket draw. 53 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:35,900 So if we call on you and you have that number, they will come to you first. 54 00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:38,900 If you get the question right, you get five bucks. 55 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:45,900 If you get it wrong, then the next person will get your five bucks and their five bucks. 56 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,900 So it accumulates if we have wrong answers. 57 00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:48,900 All right? 58 00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:55,900 So our first contestant is ticket number 616-225. 59 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:56,900 Who are we at? 60 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,900 616-225. 61 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:02,900 Mike Sales. 62 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:11,900 All right, Mike Sales, can you tell us who said, I saw his dick? 63 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,900 JJ. 64 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,900 All right, let's see. 65 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:16,900 Who is he fighting, right? 66 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:17,900 Is that Seth Rollins? 67 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:18,900 Seth freaking Rollins. 68 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:19,900 Is he good? 69 00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:20,900 Oh, hell yeah, man. 70 00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:21,900 He's amazing. 71 00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:23,900 I saw his dick. 72 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,900 Did you see it there? 73 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:26,900 I did. 74 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:27,900 I did. 75 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:32,900 It was like, great. 76 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:35,900 I'm a big wrestling fan, brother. 77 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,900 He said, we'll see it afterwards. 78 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,900 Oh, yes, Mike is right. 79 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:43,900 It was JJ. 80 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:44,900 It was respectable. 81 00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:47,900 It was a good start. 82 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:53,900 Next contestant is ticket number 616-236. 83 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:56,900 616-236. 84 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:57,900 Oh, shit. 85 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:58,900 Hold up. 86 00:04:58,900 --> 00:04:59,900 Let's get over there. 87 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:00,900 Go that way. 88 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:05,900 So the next question is, which clown said, you're going to get stopped getting raped by 89 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:06,900 Pete Diddy? 90 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:11,900 Yeah, so who said that they're going to get raped by Pete Diddy? 91 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:12,900 Oh, that dude. 92 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:13,900 Dom. 93 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:14,900 Dom? 94 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:15,900 Let's see. 95 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:19,900 Man, I remember hearing this one story where, oh, Diddy's going to come down. 96 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,900 This was before the allegations. 97 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,900 And they were like, Pete Diddy's going to come down on the tour bus, and he's going to have 98 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,900 some of the students get on the bus. 99 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:30,900 And I was like, damn, man, that's fucked up, man, because it's already hard enough to pull 100 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:31,900 a girl in these streets. 101 00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,900 But now he's going to come in here and take all of them. 102 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,900 And they said, oh, no, he's coming for the dudes. 103 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,900 And I was like, oh. 104 00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:38,900 What? 105 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:39,900 You missed the Pete Diddy tryouts? 106 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:42,900 I was getting on that bus. 107 00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,900 Man, I just knew something was going to happen. 108 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:46,900 Brandon, but you would have got on the bus. 109 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:49,900 Oh, dude, I don't know what would have happened if they would have said get on the bus. 110 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,900 It would have been minimal convincing. 111 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,900 I probably would have got on the bus. 112 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:54,900 I'm just saying. 113 00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:55,900 The cops wouldn't be for that one. 114 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:56,900 And the bus. 115 00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,900 No. 116 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:03,900 You're going to be stuck getting raped by Pete Diddy. 117 00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,900 It was, in fact, Brandon. 118 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,900 So that five bucks goes on. 119 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:14,900 So this next question is worth 10, and it's taken number 616154. 120 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:17,900 616154. 121 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:18,900 It's me. 122 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,900 Elise. 123 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:21,900 All right, Elise. 124 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:22,900 What's your name? 125 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:23,900 Elise. 126 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,900 Oh, yeah. 127 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:35,900 All right, so Elise, which clown said, I bargoyle shit? 128 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:38,900 So the choices are Brandon, Dom, or JJ. 129 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,900 JJ's a little onstage. 130 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:41,900 That's Brandon. 131 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:42,900 That's Dom. 132 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:43,900 That's JJ. 133 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:44,900 JJ. 134 00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:45,900 All right. 135 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:46,900 She thinks JJ said. 136 00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:47,900 You know gargoyle. 137 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,900 I gargoyle shit. 138 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,900 Yeah, it does. 139 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:52,900 Okay, go. 140 00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:53,900 You got to listen to this. 141 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,900 What is gargoyle? 142 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:59,900 Dude, it's when you get, you put the toilet lid and the seat up. 143 00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:02,900 It's just a rim of an actual toilet bowl. 144 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:03,900 And you just get up there, man. 145 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,900 You purge up and break that shit. 146 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:06,900 What? 147 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:07,900 Yeah. 148 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:08,900 It's a stand for this. 149 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,900 Where's the difference? 150 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:10,900 Sneakers. 151 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:11,900 Oh! 152 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:15,900 If it's my toilet, are you crazy? 153 00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:18,900 So the answer was JJ. 154 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,900 Elise wins. 155 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:23,900 Just try it. 156 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:24,900 Just try it. 157 00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:25,900 No. 158 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,900 That's disgusting. 159 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,900 I would break myself in the toilet. 160 00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:32,900 All right, 616234. 161 00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:33,900 Oh! 162 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:36,900 What's your name? 163 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:40,900 Which one said he has a slave face? 164 00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:41,900 Oh! 165 00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:42,900 Dom. 166 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:43,900 It means Dom. 167 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:44,900 Hope says Dom. 168 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:45,900 Hope it wasn't me. 169 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:46,900 Should you tell AJ what you call him to pick? 170 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:47,900 Oh, wait, you're talking about slave faces? 171 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:48,900 He does have a very slave face. 172 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:49,900 What I'm saying is, he's a slave. 173 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:50,900 He's a slave. 174 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:51,900 He's a slave. 175 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,900 He's a slave. 176 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:53,900 He's a slave. 177 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:54,900 He's a slave. 178 00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:55,900 He's a slave. 179 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:56,900 He's a slave. 180 00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:57,900 He's a slave. 181 00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:58,900 He's a slave. 182 00:07:58,900 --> 00:07:59,900 He's a slave. 183 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:00,900 He's a slave. 184 00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:01,900 He's a slave. 185 00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:06,900 What I'm saying is how the temples protrude. 186 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:07,900 Right? 187 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:08,900 The cheekbones temple. 188 00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:09,900 Exactly. 189 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:14,900 And it's giving, you know what I'm saying? 190 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:15,900 He lives outside. 191 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:20,900 Maybe he has short capri pants on that are weathered at the bottom. 192 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,900 His name isn't helping. 193 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,900 And his name is Jeremiah Cotton. 194 00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:26,900 He's funny, dude. 195 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:27,900 I love Jeremiah. 196 00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:28,900 But he does have a slave face. 197 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,900 I won't be in my room staring at my face. 198 00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:34,900 I won't stand here and not stand. 199 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,900 It wasn't me. 200 00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:37,900 Don. 201 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:41,900 Congratulations, Hope, for knowing Don so well. 202 00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:42,900 Good job. 203 00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:43,900 616-233. 204 00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:44,900 There we go. 205 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:45,900 All right. 206 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:46,900 You have to decide. 207 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:47,900 My name is JJ. 208 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:48,900 There's an only dog. 209 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:49,900 There's a dog. 210 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:50,900 There's a dog. 211 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:51,900 There's a dog. 212 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:52,900 There's a dog. 213 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:53,900 There's a dog. 214 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:54,900 There's a dog. 215 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:55,900 There's a dog. 216 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:56,900 There's a dog. 217 00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:57,900 There's a dog. 218 00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:58,900 There's a dog. 219 00:08:58,900 --> 00:08:59,900 There can only be one. 220 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:00,900 Get her. 221 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:01,900 Get her. 222 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:05,900 She asked him decide which clown said who got scared the first time they masturbated. 223 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:11,900 He didn't know it was him actually. 224 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:15,900 He just started imagining it. 225 00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:22,900 What happened the first time you busted in that? 226 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:27,900 I've been wondering this all day. 227 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,900 I'm glad someone asked. 228 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:34,900 Well, since it's on the table, the first day I did this I got scared. 229 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,900 When I was a kid I didn't know shit. 230 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:41,900 Were you confused that your tongue wasn't black? 231 00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:46,900 It was actually brand new. 232 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,900 So your five bucks goes to the next one. 233 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:54,900 This one's worth ten and the contestant is 616-241. 234 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:57,900 What's your name? 235 00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:58,900 Me. 236 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:00,900 Alright, let's see. 237 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:07,900 Which clown said sex, sexual routines, normal stuff like the ass and sometimes the penis? 238 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:12,900 Oh, JJ! 239 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,900 What the fuck? 240 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,900 A lot of weird stuff like that. 241 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:21,900 I found out one boogie was telling me they got airplanes. 242 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,900 People would have airplanes. 243 00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:24,900 What? 244 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,900 What do you mean? 245 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:27,900 That was 9-11. 246 00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:31,900 They would get out of people dressing up in airplanes, painted, looking like all this and stuff. 247 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:33,900 Doing weird sexual activities. 248 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:34,900 What are they doing? 249 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,900 Sex. 250 00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:38,900 Sex. 251 00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:45,900 I don't know, they just, like, sexual routines, normal stuff like ass and sometimes the front. 252 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:54,900 Normal stuff like ass and sometimes the penis. 253 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,900 So that was in these branches. 254 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:59,900 So the next question is what, 15? 255 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:06,900 Alright, 15 for ticket number 616-231. 256 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,900 It's Mason. 257 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,900 Hey, Mason! 258 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:18,900 Mason, which clown said I believe white people start a Christianity in Islam both? 259 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,900 Dom Kaur. 260 00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:23,900 He says Dom Kaur. 261 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,900 Dr. Umar Johnson. 262 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:28,900 Yeah, I said I love Dr. Umar. 263 00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:33,900 I'm like a white Dr. Umar Johnson. 264 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:36,900 So you're saying you don't like black people. 265 00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:44,900 I believe that white people started Christianity in Islam both. 266 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,900 So it was actually JJ. 267 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,900 So the next one is 20, right? 268 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,900 $20. 269 00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:59,900 616-240. 270 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:00,900 Alright. 271 00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,900 Lauren. 272 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:07,900 Which clown said hand job until completion? 273 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:08,900 Brandon. 274 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:09,900 She said it quickly too. 275 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:10,900 Do you know what I'm saying? 276 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,900 She said it real fast. 277 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:13,900 She said Brandon. 278 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,900 No, it was good. 279 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:16,900 Let's see. 280 00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,900 You want a big angle, man? 281 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:19,900 I love them. 282 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:20,900 You like them too? 283 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,900 I mean, they're alright. 284 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:27,900 I mean, to start it off, imagine if you're two are sitting. 285 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:33,900 I'm talking about hand job until completion. 286 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,900 I don't want you to ever say those words again. 287 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:38,900 I don't want you to ever say those words again. 288 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:39,900 It was actually Dom. 289 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:45,900 So the next person gets 25 bucks. 290 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:49,900 There's a difference between special ed and special needs. 291 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:54,900 The ticket is 616-227. 292 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:58,900 Back there in your bag. 293 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,900 Cause I bring it on. 294 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:03,900 For $25, which clown said that? 295 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:04,900 We're going to go with JJ. 296 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:05,900 JJ. 297 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,900 You guys are starting to hurt my feelings. 298 00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:10,900 JJ. 299 00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,900 The whole day I just walked around people like, you went special? 300 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:13,900 Stay on that. 301 00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:14,900 Hold on. 302 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,900 Did he say special needs? 303 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,900 No, no, no, no, no, no. 304 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,900 You crossed the line. 305 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:21,900 No, no. 306 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:22,900 What was it? 307 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:23,900 Special ed. 308 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:24,900 Special ed. 309 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:25,900 I'm not special ed. 310 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:26,900 I'm never special ed. 311 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:27,900 No, they're not. 312 00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:28,900 No, they're not. 313 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:29,900 There's a difference. 314 00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:30,900 I'm sorry. 315 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:31,900 I'm not special ed. 316 00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:35,900 It's like a little bit of some learning disability. 317 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,900 Like you need a little bit of extra time. 318 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:38,900 Or be of mind. 319 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:39,900 What is that? 320 00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:42,900 Like you got a little, I mean, somebody got dyslexia. 321 00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:43,900 A little bit autistic. 322 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:45,900 A little bit autistic. 323 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,900 Or, yeah, you're just struggling a little bit, but special needs. 324 00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:49,900 Yeah, what's special needs? 325 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:55,900 Is what everybody thinks that special ed is. 326 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:58,900 So that is actually brand, huh? 327 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:01,900 I'm trying to remember how many of you guys left. 328 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,900 Oh, we got another one worth 30 bucks. 329 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:05,900 Oh, man. 330 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:09,900 To ticket number 616237. 331 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:12,900 616237. 332 00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,900 All right, JJ's coworker. 333 00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:20,900 All right, the question is who said I wrestled a special needs person? 334 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,900 Elizabeth. 335 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,900 Elizabeth, who do you think said that? 336 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,900 I think it's that person. 337 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,900 I don't know. 338 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,900 I feel like idiot. 339 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,900 You're not wrong about that. 340 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:34,900 You're very intuitive. 341 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,900 It could have been any of the three. 342 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:37,900 Brandon. 343 00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:38,900 She said Brandon. 344 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:39,900 She said Brandon. 345 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:43,900 I wrestled a special needs person. 346 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:46,900 So they were mixing the shit out of you, didn't they? 347 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:51,900 And I say, they didn't have a person for me to wrestle. 348 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:52,900 And I was the best dude on the team. 349 00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,900 I was like, just give me anybody. 350 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:56,900 And they were like, well, this dude from JV. 351 00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:59,900 And it was clearly something was wrong with him, you know? 352 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:03,900 And I could have went easy on him, but I beat him like 15 seconds. 353 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,900 I just sat down and pinned him. 354 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:09,900 He needed to, I think you should do that. 355 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:11,900 They should all be treated the same. 356 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,900 Everyone should be treated the same. 357 00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,900 And why did you say they? 358 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:23,900 That was dumb. 359 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:24,900 That was it. 360 00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:28,900 So you keep that 30, dumb. 361 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,900 How does that go until the next round? 362 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:32,900 All right. 363 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:36,900 So we're going to do a second part to this, and it's called What Comes Next. 364 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,900 So it's a clip, and we're going to stop the clip. 365 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:39,900 And you have to guess. 366 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:40,900 It's multiple choice. 367 00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:41,900 You have three guesses. 368 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:45,900 You have to guess what the next thing out of that person's mouth is. 369 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:48,900 So these are worth $10 each. 370 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:51,900 So this first question is worth $40. 371 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:52,900 All right. 372 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:55,900 So let's see. 373 00:15:55,900 --> 00:16:01,900 It's going to be ticket number 616229. 374 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,900 Oh, shit. 375 00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:05,900 Hell yeah. 376 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,900 Hold up. 377 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,900 What's your name? 378 00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:10,900 Matthew. 379 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:11,900 Matthew. 380 00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:12,900 All right. 381 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,900 Matthew. 382 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:18,900 I need help catching a predator. 383 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:19,900 I have a suggestion. 384 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:26,900 How about whenever he gets here to make sure he doesn't do it again? 385 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:30,900 So the question is, what does Dom want to do to the predator? 386 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:36,900 Is it A, kill him, B, let him have Brandon, or C, brand his dick? 387 00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,900 Which three is it? 388 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,900 Which one? 389 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:44,900 A, B, or C? 390 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:45,900 C. 391 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:46,900 C? 392 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:47,900 Yeah, C. 393 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:53,900 All right. 394 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:59,900 He brand his dick. 395 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:05,900 $40. 396 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,900 Why don't they do that? 397 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:10,900 I think you're on to something, though. 398 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,900 I think I do. 399 00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:13,900 All right. 400 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:14,900 So we're back to $10. 401 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,900 But hey, $10 is nothing to sneeze at. 402 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:20,900 And if you're too rich to appreciate $10, we take donations. 403 00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:21,900 All right. 404 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:24,900 616235. 405 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:25,900 There we go. 406 00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:28,900 Oh, shit. 407 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:29,900 Hey, what's your name, man? 408 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:33,900 No. 409 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,900 You raised your hand. 410 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:36,900 You know me. 411 00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:38,900 Why was you like that? 412 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,900 I didn't know that whole line. 413 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:42,900 Savannah. 414 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:43,900 Savannah. 415 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:44,900 Savannah. 416 00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:48,900 All right, Savannah. 417 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:54,900 Don't you hate when you go down on a big girl and you can't tell if you got her off her? 418 00:17:54,900 --> 00:18:01,900 All right, so don't you hate when you go down on a big girl and A, you accidentally, well, 419 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:06,900 he actually said, and you can't tell if you got her off, as went down before that. 420 00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:11,900 So don't you hate when you go down on a big girl, you can't tell if you got her off because 421 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:17,900 A, you accidentally bought into a heat bump, B, you suffocate, or C, you lose hearing. 422 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:26,900 Now, this is our friend, Over. 423 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:27,900 Over right here. 424 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:28,900 Over right here. 425 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:29,900 Over right here. 426 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,900 What do you think came out of his crazy ass mouth? 427 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:33,900 B. 428 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:34,900 B. 429 00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:41,900 You actually bit into a heat bump. 430 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:47,900 That's so nasty. 431 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:50,900 That's so nasty. 432 00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:53,900 A heat bump. 433 00:18:53,900 --> 00:19:04,900 I just want you to have a look at Brandon's eyes. 434 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:09,900 All right, so Savannah doesn't win, so $20 to the next question. 435 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:16,900 All right, this is the table number, let's see, 616238. 436 00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,900 Oh, shit. 437 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,900 Hell yeah, what's your name? 438 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:22,900 Lucas. 439 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,900 All right, Lucas. 440 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,900 I recently found out, I fucking found out, I real love you. 441 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,900 Oh, shit. 442 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,900 Yeah. 443 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:33,900 Yeah. 444 00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:35,900 Neither does my father. 445 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:41,900 Kidnapped his child, not even adopted. 446 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,900 I should have known. 447 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:46,900 Kids in school always make fun of me. 448 00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:50,900 All right, so the question is why do kids make fun of sci-fi? 449 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:55,900 Was it because A, he's black, B, his parents were nancies, or C, his parents were Korean? 450 00:19:55,900 --> 00:20:00,900 The answer is A. 451 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,900 He's from Mississippi. 452 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,900 Lucas say A? 453 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,900 Yes, A. 454 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:13,900 He's six. 455 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:21,900 Teddy Teddy, why are your parents Korean? 456 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:25,900 So that was wrong, so the next one, we're at 20 bucks. 457 00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:33,900 And we got contestant number 616203. 458 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:37,900 Brandon. 459 00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:39,900 All right, what is your name? 460 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:40,900 Joy. 461 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:41,900 Joy. 462 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:42,900 What's next? 463 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:43,900 Yes, Joy. 464 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:48,900 What are you doing on May 17th? 465 00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:51,900 Oh, boy. 466 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,900 So what was JJ doing on May 17th? 467 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:59,900 A, trimming his mustache, B, not touching kids, or C, the Trump rally? 468 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:04,900 A Trump rally. 469 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:10,900 A, trimming his mustache. 470 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,900 Not touching kids. 471 00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,900 Good on you, JJ. 472 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:27,900 I'm a contestant, and I never have. 473 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:30,900 I think we got one more. 474 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:37,900 So this will be contestant number 616223. 475 00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:38,900 There we go. 476 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:40,900 That's a $40. 477 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,900 40 bucks. 478 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:46,900 What's his name? 479 00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:55,900 My name is Tyler, and if I can answer this question, it's Brandon's uncle. 480 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:56,900 Thank you. 481 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,900 He's like Robin from Howard Stern. 482 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,900 That's you, ain't it? 483 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:02,900 Who is Robin? 484 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,900 Let me see who Robin is. 485 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:05,900 Look at Robin, bro. 486 00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:10,900 It's Howard Stern's second mic. 487 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:13,900 Did I mean to say that you look like a black woman? 488 00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:14,900 Kind of. 489 00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:15,900 I did kind of mean that. 490 00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,900 I mean, I do, actually. 491 00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:19,900 When I had that wig on, I said Robert. 492 00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:21,900 Oh, you said Robin. 493 00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,900 I don't want to save that picture, because then you said, I do look like a person. 494 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:25,900 Hold on, let me say it again. 495 00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:28,900 It's a white name. 496 00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:31,900 What kind of man does Brandon think he looks like? 497 00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:35,900 Is it Robert DeMiro, Robert Pattinson, or Robert Downey Jr.? 498 00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:37,900 I've watched every episode. 499 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:41,900 I've seen it back in the archives, but I believe it's the middle person, Robert Pattinson. 500 00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:43,900 Robert Pattinson? 501 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,900 Well, it's actually Pattinson. 502 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:46,900 Thank you, Tim. 503 00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:48,900 Somebody make an error. 504 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:55,900 We'll know what the middle guy. 505 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:56,900 It's Robert Pattinson. 506 00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:59,900 Oh, no. 507 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:03,900 Tyler wins. 508 00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:07,900 He said, I do look like him. 509 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:09,900 I'm looking off in the universe. 510 00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:11,900 I'm going to work it out. 511 00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:13,900 Brandon, you do not look like this nigga, bro. 512 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:14,900 He's insane. 513 00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:17,900 You're robbing me. 514 00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,900 So that's how we play What Comes Next. 515 00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:21,900 Thank you all for playing. 516 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:25,900 We appreciate you. 517 00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:29,900 As you can tell, we're pretty smart guys. 518 00:23:29,900 --> 00:23:31,900 I'm a scholar, if you don't believe me. 519 00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:34,900 We got to stop drinking and saying shit on the internet. 520 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:35,900 Yeah, it's true. 521 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:37,900 We could come back to haunt us a little bit. 522 00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:39,900 Maybe. 523 00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,900 You think you're smart? 524 00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:43,900 Yeah, I know I'm smart. 525 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:44,900 You guys are dumbasses. 526 00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:46,900 I have empirical evidence to prove it. 527 00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:47,900 Uh oh. 528 00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:48,900 You're like, oh shit. 529 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:49,900 Shit, we got crap. 530 00:23:49,900 --> 00:23:50,900 You need me to bust them out there? 531 00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:51,900 You can't. 532 00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:52,900 You feel like WT. 533 00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:53,900 You can't. 534 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:54,900 You feel like WT. 535 00:23:54,900 --> 00:24:06,900 You just make it black and white. 536 00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:25,900 You just make it black and white. 537 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:40,900 You just make it black and white. 538 00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:49,900 You just make it black and white. 539 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:57,900 You just make it black and white. 540 00:24:57,900 --> 00:25:12,900 You just make it black and white. 541 00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:20,820 Dante of. I do believe in miracles. Dante's gonna surprise us all as he usually does. 542 00:25:20,820 --> 00:25:26,500 And blow us out the wall. He can sing, he can rap, he can dance, he can freestyle. 543 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,940 And he makes people laugh when he don't expect it to. 544 00:25:29,940 --> 00:25:32,500 I don't know if I'm gonna bathe or not. 545 00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:39,620 I think she'll do good because of her profession. I think those professions helped her not like 546 00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:47,140 the test. I think I already scored the highest. I think I've scored what's the highest you can 547 00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:51,220 score on this. I don't even matter. I think I scored the highest. 200. 548 00:25:53,860 --> 00:25:54,420 Franny Cagle. 549 00:25:54,420 --> 00:26:08,020 I think she's gonna do good. She's part of the whole kitchen, living room, living room. 550 00:26:08,020 --> 00:26:09,860 And she's gonna tell us something. 551 00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:14,580 Who do I think will score the highest? Honestly, Van. 552 00:26:15,940 --> 00:26:16,420 JP? 553 00:26:16,420 --> 00:26:18,260 Yes, JP. Smart dude. 554 00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:22,340 Who do you think will score the highest on this guy's test? 555 00:26:22,340 --> 00:26:25,380 I'm going with Jay. Jay Jay? 556 00:26:26,180 --> 00:26:28,660 No. Jay. 557 00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:32,420 Van. Yeah, Van. Yeah. He's from the north. 558 00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:34,500 How do you think Jay Jay will paint? 559 00:26:36,820 --> 00:26:43,300 Respectably. I don't think it'll be offensively good or bad. I think it'll be 560 00:26:44,020 --> 00:26:45,300 aggressive with marginal. 561 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,660 How do you think Charlie Fisher will do? 562 00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:54,900 Charlie Fisher. I think that he got lower than he wanted, but I still think he got about 105. 563 00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:57,780 How do you think the long far will do? 564 00:26:59,780 --> 00:27:07,620 Well, he put on glasses today. So that raises a more than a key point. Otherwise, I see it. 565 00:27:07,620 --> 00:27:09,300 Do you want a number? Sure. 566 00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:17,300 Okay. All right. I'm putting Dom at one. Actually, actually 120. I'll put Dom at 120. 567 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:22,660 All right. We're not using this foot. 568 00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:26,580 Nick says, who do you think will score the highest on this guy's test? 569 00:27:26,580 --> 00:27:29,060 I think JJ Payton will score the highest. 570 00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:35,060 He just got out of college. You know, he's still fresh. 571 00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:35,780 That's fair. 572 00:27:37,940 --> 00:27:39,700 Who do you think will score the lowest? 573 00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:46,100 Probably Jay Jay. I think. There's no way his hair is that curly if he's smart. You know what I mean? 574 00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:51,380 You've seen his facial hair. It's so patchy. There's no way he has a college degree. I don't believe it. 575 00:27:51,380 --> 00:27:54,740 Who do you think will score the highest on this IQ test? 576 00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:59,220 I believe that it is Jay. Jay Vat. 577 00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:01,940 Who do you think will score the lowest? 578 00:28:04,260 --> 00:28:04,660 Dom. 579 00:28:04,660 --> 00:28:07,460 Who do you think will score the highest on this IQ test? 580 00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:15,620 Me. I'm fucked if I dump all my jokes and Johnny being better than I want. So I'll be a hack. 581 00:28:15,620 --> 00:28:17,540 If this doesn't work out. 582 00:28:17,540 --> 00:28:20,740 Lastly, who do you think Jay Vat will be? 583 00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:27,860 Jay Vat. I think he's a great singer. He's a comedian. But is he a scholar? I doubt it. 584 00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:30,500 Who do you think will score the highest? 585 00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:35,220 That could also be either me. No, no, no. It's not going to be me. 586 00:28:35,220 --> 00:28:45,940 It's going to be a two way tie between Dante and Dom. Dante and Dom. 587 00:28:45,940 --> 00:28:47,940 Who do you think will score the lowest? 588 00:28:47,940 --> 00:28:51,540 I think the person who will score the lowest is Mike. 589 00:28:51,540 --> 00:28:53,060 Who? 590 00:28:53,060 --> 00:28:55,060 I think the person who will score the lowest. 591 00:28:55,060 --> 00:28:59,060 The lowest score could possibly be me. 592 00:28:59,060 --> 00:29:08,340 I don't know about me. I can't say Dante because he's in college. Is he a guy? 593 00:29:08,340 --> 00:29:12,340 He's cool. Dante now? 594 00:29:12,340 --> 00:29:16,340 I don't know who he's going to be. I think it's me. 595 00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:18,340 Who do you think will make sales? 596 00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:22,340 Probably decent average businessman. 597 00:29:22,340 --> 00:29:24,340 Who do you think will score the lowest? 598 00:29:24,340 --> 00:29:28,340 Oh, Dom Carter. I don't think I need to explain that. 599 00:29:28,340 --> 00:29:30,340 Who do you think will score the lowest? 600 00:29:30,340 --> 00:29:34,340 I know this without a doubt. It's Brandon Willis. 601 00:29:34,340 --> 00:29:36,340 That's either concern in his face. 602 00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:46,340 I see that as a sign that he might be mentally challenged. 603 00:29:48,340 --> 00:29:50,340 Who do you think will score the lowest? 604 00:29:52,340 --> 00:29:54,340 I'm going to have to go with Brandon. 605 00:29:54,340 --> 00:30:02,340 Not because I think he's any dumber. I see him over thinking every single one of those questions. 606 00:30:02,340 --> 00:30:04,340 He's probably got story for every question too. 607 00:30:06,340 --> 00:30:08,340 Who do you think will score the lowest? 608 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:12,340 I'm sorry I have to do this because he's like one of my closest friends, Brandon. 609 00:30:14,340 --> 00:30:16,340 That's just because I know him the best. 610 00:30:18,340 --> 00:30:22,340 I have to see him messed up. I'm like, oh snap, I should have got that thing. 611 00:30:22,340 --> 00:30:26,340 I'm not saying he's dumb. I'm just saying he's probably overlooking something. 612 00:30:26,340 --> 00:30:28,340 I'm like, oh, dang. 613 00:30:30,340 --> 00:30:32,340 Who do you think will score the lowest? 614 00:30:32,340 --> 00:30:36,340 I think Brandon is going to be a dark horse in this thing. 615 00:30:36,340 --> 00:30:42,340 I know Brandon comes off as wholesome, but that's a mad scientist right there. 616 00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:46,340 I think he's going to be the top clown at clownphilology. 617 00:30:46,340 --> 00:30:48,340 I can tell you that. 618 00:30:48,340 --> 00:30:52,340 And I mean that shit wholeheartedly. 619 00:30:54,340 --> 00:30:56,340 Alright. 620 00:31:00,340 --> 00:31:04,340 We've got some revealing to do because I'll tell you guys this. 621 00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:08,340 Nobody knows the results of this but me. 622 00:31:08,340 --> 00:31:10,340 We're all scared. 623 00:31:10,340 --> 00:31:11,340 What? 624 00:31:11,340 --> 00:31:13,340 I said we're all scared. 625 00:31:13,340 --> 00:31:15,340 So, 626 00:31:19,340 --> 00:31:21,340 So here's the thing. 627 00:31:21,340 --> 00:31:24,340 They know their own individual score. 628 00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:30,340 They just don't know how the other people scored and how they rank among the others. 629 00:31:30,340 --> 00:31:35,340 So, the question is, are you smarter than a clown? 630 00:31:35,340 --> 00:31:44,340 Now then, the way we're going to reveal this is we have several, five of the people that took the test are not present tonight. 631 00:31:44,340 --> 00:31:48,340 So, we're just going to go ahead and put these guys on the line. 632 00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:50,340 So, we're displaying it like this. 633 00:31:50,340 --> 00:31:52,340 We've got a number line. 634 00:31:52,340 --> 00:31:56,340 And the first ones that you're going to see, the first four are people that aren't here tonight. 635 00:31:56,340 --> 00:32:01,340 Alright, so the people that guessed that JVAP will get the highest, they were right. 636 00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:03,340 Alright, so we're in. 637 00:32:03,340 --> 00:32:05,340 Alright, who's right now? 638 00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:08,340 Hey, sorry, I was told you weren't going to be here. 639 00:32:08,340 --> 00:32:10,340 So, blame it on Don. 640 00:32:10,340 --> 00:32:12,340 But anyway, hey, look at there, Ren. 641 00:32:12,340 --> 00:32:21,340 So then, the next, if you'll notice, third from the left is a V because two people tied in spots three and four is a tie. 642 00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:28,340 Alright, so, my question, I'm just curious, clown call is comedy. 643 00:32:28,340 --> 00:32:32,340 The next person I'm going to reveal is Dante. 644 00:32:32,340 --> 00:32:35,340 Where do you think Dante is going to be on that continuum? 645 00:32:35,340 --> 00:32:40,340 I'll say that way. 646 00:32:40,340 --> 00:32:41,340 Uh oh. 647 00:32:41,340 --> 00:32:49,340 There are two that score more than Dante. 648 00:32:49,340 --> 00:32:57,340 Alright, now we're going to talk to the people that aren't here tonight. 649 00:32:57,340 --> 00:32:59,340 Can we get sci-fi to come on up here? 650 00:32:59,340 --> 00:33:05,340 Right here, sci-fi. 651 00:33:05,340 --> 00:33:17,340 Now, sci-fi, you know the rule, like you can't touch my back wall there, but I want you to go up there and kind of stand where you think you are going to be on that line. 652 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:22,340 I thought I was going to be here. 653 00:33:22,340 --> 00:33:25,340 If God is kind, somewhere in there. 654 00:33:25,340 --> 00:33:27,340 If God is kind. 655 00:33:27,340 --> 00:33:38,340 Sci-fi, you are right there. 656 00:33:38,340 --> 00:33:40,340 Alright, Mike Sales is in the house, everybody. 657 00:33:40,340 --> 00:33:41,340 Give it up for Mike Sales. 658 00:33:41,340 --> 00:33:46,340 Mike, come on up for a second. 659 00:33:46,340 --> 00:33:53,340 Also known as Tim Stacks, if you need a fade or a line up, you all need to go see him at the Presidential Barbershop. 660 00:33:53,340 --> 00:34:01,340 Mike Sales, where on the line do you think you're going to fall? 661 00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:05,340 Second from the end. 662 00:34:05,340 --> 00:34:09,340 Oh, boy. 663 00:34:09,340 --> 00:34:14,340 So, ladies and gentlemen, y'all give it up for Mike Sales. 664 00:34:14,340 --> 00:34:17,340 Mike is going to be coming. 665 00:34:17,340 --> 00:34:20,340 So that leaves our clowns. 666 00:34:20,340 --> 00:34:25,340 We've got three clowns and three spies. 667 00:34:25,340 --> 00:34:31,340 So, JJ Payton, tell me where do you think you fall on this continuum? 668 00:34:31,340 --> 00:34:33,340 I'm up in over there. 669 00:34:33,340 --> 00:34:34,340 You think you're between me and the other guys? 670 00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:37,340 I might end it all if I'm not. 671 00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:42,340 Alright, can I get a drum roll? 672 00:34:42,340 --> 00:34:47,340 There he is. 673 00:34:47,340 --> 00:34:55,340 Alright, Don Karr. 674 00:34:55,340 --> 00:34:58,340 I need counseling after this. 675 00:34:58,340 --> 00:35:01,340 I'm one ahead of the last. 676 00:35:01,340 --> 00:35:03,340 So you think you're not the last? 677 00:35:03,340 --> 00:35:06,340 Yeah, please, Cam, please. 678 00:35:06,340 --> 00:35:10,340 Please, Cam, I'm not the last. 679 00:35:10,340 --> 00:35:16,340 Alright, ladies and gentlemen, Don Karr. 680 00:35:16,340 --> 00:35:20,340 And then there's Brandon, our lovely Brandon. 681 00:35:20,340 --> 00:35:22,340 Now he has a thing. 682 00:35:22,340 --> 00:35:28,340 But I'm going to show you guys some numbers because there's not an unintelligent person on this entire chart. 683 00:35:28,340 --> 00:35:31,340 Look at those numbers. 684 00:35:31,340 --> 00:35:33,340 So, take a reference. 685 00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:37,340 If you're not aware, they consider 100 average. 686 00:35:37,340 --> 00:35:40,340 So everybody on the continuum is above average. 687 00:35:40,340 --> 00:35:46,340 Do you want to give it up for our audience? 688 00:35:46,340 --> 00:35:48,340 Now, here's the thing. 689 00:35:48,340 --> 00:35:55,340 We have them, and you kind of saw this in the video, we have them all guess how everyone else is going to do with a number. 690 00:35:55,340 --> 00:36:04,340 And I tabulated all the numbers and we have one person that got the closest and that person is going to get 50 bucks. 691 00:36:04,340 --> 00:36:11,340 So, do you want to know who got the closest? 692 00:36:11,340 --> 00:36:16,340 Alright, I need a drum roll for this one. 693 00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:19,340 It's Syfy! 694 00:36:19,340 --> 00:36:24,340 Come get your 50 bucks, baby boy. 695 00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:28,340 Brandon's got two million. 696 00:36:28,340 --> 00:36:34,340 I'm too old to buy these things out. 697 00:36:34,340 --> 00:36:36,340 We shouldn't have did this. 698 00:36:36,340 --> 00:36:37,340 We shouldn't have did this. 699 00:36:37,340 --> 00:36:39,340 I'm pretty sure it was your idea, though. 700 00:36:39,340 --> 00:36:41,340 It was. 701 00:36:41,340 --> 00:36:45,340 Well, that's how you're going to argue smarter than a clown. 702 00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:49,340 You guys having fun? 703 00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:51,340 I need to hear from y'all. 704 00:36:51,340 --> 00:36:53,340 I need to know how you're feeling right now. 705 00:36:53,340 --> 00:36:56,340 I feel great. 706 00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:59,340 This couldn't have gone any better. 707 00:36:59,340 --> 00:37:01,340 I am in shock right now. 708 00:37:01,340 --> 00:37:04,340 Nobody else is. 709 00:37:04,340 --> 00:37:10,340 Don, tell me, express yourself, tell us what you're in shock about specifically. 710 00:37:10,340 --> 00:37:15,340 So, I thought, well, you know, one away and I'll clearly be in the middle. 711 00:37:15,340 --> 00:37:21,340 And then, what really hurts is that downtown mic sells. 712 00:37:21,340 --> 00:37:24,340 I'm like three nights with a bus. 713 00:37:24,340 --> 00:37:27,340 I have to rethink what I'm doing with my life. 714 00:37:27,340 --> 00:37:30,340 That shit should be. 715 00:37:30,340 --> 00:37:31,340 Brandon, how are you feeling? 716 00:37:31,340 --> 00:37:32,340 I'm not going to lie. 717 00:37:32,340 --> 00:37:39,340 This whole time, I thought that I was going to be probably the top two. 718 00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:42,340 Now, I'm the damn last one. 719 00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:45,340 Damn, I didn't know they were going to get that high. 720 00:37:45,340 --> 00:37:46,340 I'm as smart as hell. 721 00:37:46,340 --> 00:37:47,340 Baby, you're that smart? 722 00:37:47,340 --> 00:37:49,340 What the fuck is going on here? 723 00:37:49,340 --> 00:37:52,340 She brought a whole ass computer in there. 724 00:37:52,340 --> 00:37:55,340 What kind of degree do you have? 725 00:37:55,340 --> 00:37:57,340 Do you want to answer that, Brandon? 726 00:37:57,340 --> 00:38:00,340 No degree. 727 00:38:00,340 --> 00:38:01,340 She had me in one. 728 00:38:01,340 --> 00:38:04,340 Yeah, I think that's JJ. 729 00:38:04,340 --> 00:38:08,340 My degree is in history, so it doesn't really count. 730 00:38:08,340 --> 00:38:10,340 I'm not using it. 731 00:38:10,340 --> 00:38:12,340 The audience is going to say that's true. 732 00:38:12,340 --> 00:38:16,340 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the second half of our show. 733 00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:21,340 Can we get a round of applause for the first half? 734 00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:23,340 All right. 735 00:38:23,340 --> 00:38:27,340 Let's see, Dom, you want to tell the folks what we're about to do? 736 00:38:27,340 --> 00:38:30,340 It probably helps if I unmute you with your mics. 737 00:38:30,340 --> 00:38:31,340 There we go. 738 00:38:31,340 --> 00:38:34,340 All right, so for the second half, we're going to do a little stand-up comedy. 739 00:38:34,340 --> 00:38:37,340 First, we're going to have one feature comedian, and then after that, 740 00:38:37,340 --> 00:38:39,340 we're going to have bucket full spots. 741 00:38:39,340 --> 00:38:40,340 We'll pull it out. 742 00:38:40,340 --> 00:38:41,340 They get three minutes. 743 00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:43,340 After their three minutes, we'll talk to them for a little bit, 744 00:38:43,340 --> 00:38:45,340 and then we'll spin the wheel. 745 00:38:45,340 --> 00:38:49,340 Kim has us a lot of gross shit that we have to do if it lands on us. 746 00:38:49,340 --> 00:38:51,340 It's going to land on them. 747 00:38:51,340 --> 00:38:53,340 It just depends on which one of them. 748 00:38:53,340 --> 00:38:54,340 Yeah, yeah, which one. 749 00:38:54,340 --> 00:38:55,340 So you guys ready? 750 00:38:55,340 --> 00:38:57,340 Yeah. 751 00:38:57,340 --> 00:38:59,340 I'm smart. 752 00:38:59,340 --> 00:39:00,340 I promise I'm smart. 753 00:39:00,340 --> 00:39:02,340 All right, for your featured stand-up comedian of the night, 754 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:04,340 you can see him all around the Southeast. 755 00:39:04,340 --> 00:39:05,340 He's a cool guy. 756 00:39:05,340 --> 00:39:06,340 He was a Marine. 757 00:39:06,340 --> 00:39:08,340 You won't believe it, though, guys. 758 00:39:08,340 --> 00:39:11,340 Please welcome to the stage Mr. Dan Price. 759 00:39:11,340 --> 00:39:12,340 Hey, Dan. 760 00:39:12,340 --> 00:39:20,340 Thank you. 761 00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:24,340 All right. 762 00:39:24,340 --> 00:39:25,340 It's a Marine. 763 00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:27,340 Okay, we got it now. 764 00:39:27,340 --> 00:39:28,340 We're good. 765 00:39:28,340 --> 00:39:29,340 It's working. 766 00:39:29,340 --> 00:39:31,340 Hey, thanks, guys, for having me up here. 767 00:39:31,340 --> 00:39:32,340 Great to see you guys tonight. 768 00:39:32,340 --> 00:39:33,340 Everybody came out. 769 00:39:33,340 --> 00:39:34,340 This is awesome. 770 00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:35,340 Fuck Bama. 771 00:39:35,340 --> 00:39:38,340 We're doing what really matters here tonight. 772 00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:40,340 It's a busy world, so before we get down to the comedy, 773 00:39:40,340 --> 00:39:43,340 I want to start with the news just to keep everybody informed. 774 00:39:43,340 --> 00:39:46,340 Let's go over a couple of news headlines that are affecting the world today. 775 00:39:46,340 --> 00:39:48,340 These are all true news stories. 776 00:39:48,340 --> 00:39:54,340 An ailing bald eagle was released this week in Missouri after wildlife rescuers determined 777 00:39:54,340 --> 00:40:00,340 the bird was not ill but instead had overeaten and was too fat to fly, 778 00:40:00,340 --> 00:40:06,340 demonstrating once again why the bald eagle is America's mascot. 779 00:40:06,340 --> 00:40:16,340 The U.S. Postal Service announced a plan to save $3 billion by slowing service to some rural locations. 780 00:40:16,340 --> 00:40:23,340 Alabamians were outraged when they heard the news sometime next week. 781 00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:26,340 Yeah, all right. 782 00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:32,340 The rapper Fat Man Scoop collapsed on stage during a show in Connecticut last night 783 00:40:32,340 --> 00:40:36,340 and later died at the age of 53. 784 00:40:36,340 --> 00:40:41,340 In a related story, I feel fine. 785 00:40:41,340 --> 00:40:48,340 The much-loved beluga whale named Valdimir that captured the public's attention 786 00:40:48,340 --> 00:40:54,340 when it appeared in Norway wearing a spy camera rig assumed to be part of a covert Russian intelligence operation 787 00:40:54,340 --> 00:40:58,340 was found dead this morning in a Norwegian harbor. 788 00:40:58,340 --> 00:41:05,340 When asked for a comment, local officials shrugged and said, fishes get stitches. 789 00:41:05,340 --> 00:41:11,340 And that's the news for this Saturday night. 790 00:41:11,340 --> 00:41:14,340 Oh man, this is awesome. This is big city stuff here. 791 00:41:14,340 --> 00:41:17,340 A live podcast recording. I love being in a big city. 792 00:41:17,340 --> 00:41:21,340 When I was 12 years old, my parents moved us away from a big city. 793 00:41:21,340 --> 00:41:24,340 We lived in New Orleans and my dad was tired of the crime and the traffic 794 00:41:24,340 --> 00:41:27,340 and my mom was tired of public school. 795 00:41:27,340 --> 00:41:32,340 We were conservative Christian in the 1980s. Public school was where all the danger lied. 796 00:41:32,340 --> 00:41:36,340 It was all the gangs and drugs and liberals. 797 00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:43,340 So they moved us out, moved us to Mississippi, to this tiny little town just out in the sticks in Mississippi. 798 00:41:43,340 --> 00:41:47,340 Such a contrast to here. We were way up, like way, way up. 799 00:41:47,340 --> 00:41:50,340 A little town called Ozona, Mississippi. Anybody heard of it? 800 00:41:50,340 --> 00:41:54,340 There's a Biloxi guy in here. He's like literally an hour drive away. 801 00:41:54,340 --> 00:41:57,340 Anybody heard of it? I know. It's a tiny little place. 802 00:41:57,340 --> 00:42:03,340 It was the kind of place that had our closest point of actual civilization was one gas station. 803 00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:07,340 Anybody ever lived in a place like that? Just that one country gas station 804 00:42:07,340 --> 00:42:11,340 where you can get everything you need but nothing you really want. 805 00:42:11,340 --> 00:42:15,340 You know what it is? Places. And most of the stuff you buy is outside. 806 00:42:15,340 --> 00:42:19,340 You fill it up with gas, but you can get propane and ice and firewood 807 00:42:19,340 --> 00:42:23,340 and a whole barbeque chicken right next to the gas pumps on an open flame. 808 00:42:23,340 --> 00:42:29,340 I don't know how that's legal. Fireworks. Fireworks in a gas station. 809 00:42:29,340 --> 00:42:32,340 The Mississippi coat of arms, the motto is vertute et harmis, 810 00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:38,340 which is a Latin phrase that means we sell fireworks in gas stations. 811 00:42:38,340 --> 00:42:44,340 Contri, man. It was so Contri out there. I thought Hunt Brothers was a real pizza place. 812 00:42:44,340 --> 00:42:48,340 You know what I mean? Like Contri. Way out there. 813 00:42:48,340 --> 00:42:54,340 It was weird, man. We'd have to ride our bicycles like 10 miles to get to the store, 814 00:42:54,340 --> 00:42:58,340 but we would go because there was shit else to do. There was nothing else happening. 815 00:42:58,340 --> 00:43:01,340 I remember the day I was sitting out there. We were drinking peach knee high 816 00:43:01,340 --> 00:43:03,340 or whatever bullshit I drank when I was 13. 817 00:43:03,340 --> 00:43:08,340 We were on Mississippi. That was a treat, man. Paid all in nickels. I remember. 818 00:43:08,340 --> 00:43:12,340 Dude, I remember this day. This Humvee drives up and these two Army National Guard guys get out 819 00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:15,340 and they're lost. They have no idea where they are. They're out of gas. 820 00:43:15,340 --> 00:43:19,340 Apparently, they lost half their uniform. They're just sweating through their t-shirts. 821 00:43:19,340 --> 00:43:22,340 And it was like if you were 13 in that tiny little town at that time, 822 00:43:22,340 --> 00:43:26,340 it was like seeing G.I. Joe in real life. It was awesome. 823 00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:29,340 I knew right then. I was like, this is my ticket out of this small town. 824 00:43:29,340 --> 00:43:32,340 I'm going to join the military, see the world. Joke was on me. 825 00:43:32,340 --> 00:43:37,340 I joined the military. The first place they sent me, Fort Sill, Oklahoma. 826 00:43:37,340 --> 00:43:40,340 Just a whole other Mississippi right there. 827 00:43:40,340 --> 00:43:43,340 In fact, that's where we sent the people we kicked out of Mississippi 828 00:43:43,340 --> 00:43:47,340 so we could take Mississippi. I just joined them over in Oklahoma. 829 00:43:47,340 --> 00:43:52,340 Then 29 Palms, California. The Mississippi of California. 830 00:43:52,340 --> 00:43:58,340 And then Iraq, which is the Mississippi of the rest of the world. 831 00:43:58,340 --> 00:44:03,340 And I remember this day we were delivering hospital supplies to this little town called Heat 832 00:44:03,340 --> 00:44:09,340 in the Al Anbar province. And there was this little dirty kid who reminded me of me when I was 13. 833 00:44:09,340 --> 00:44:14,340 No, I mean like a dirty kid. Like covered in dirt. Didn't have flip flops. 834 00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:18,340 He was just barefoot, shorts, ratty t-shirt. He was looking at me with that look 835 00:44:18,340 --> 00:44:23,340 that I understood what he was thinking. He was like, one day I will join the military 836 00:44:23,340 --> 00:44:27,340 and I will get out of this little town. And I think he's about 25 now. 837 00:44:27,340 --> 00:44:30,340 So what I'm saying is he's on the way. 838 00:44:30,340 --> 00:44:34,340 Unless he followed my track in life, in which case he's probably in the international brigade 839 00:44:34,340 --> 00:44:39,340 in Ukraine looking around thinking, shit, this place is just the Iraq of Europe. 840 00:44:39,340 --> 00:44:44,340 Alright, my name is Dan Price and my time is up. Thank you everybody. 841 00:44:44,340 --> 00:44:47,340 Dan Price everybody. 842 00:44:47,340 --> 00:44:50,340 Do you want to chat with Dan or is he done? 843 00:44:50,340 --> 00:44:52,340 Are y'all chatting with Dan? 844 00:44:52,340 --> 00:44:53,340 We're chatting with Dan. 845 00:44:53,340 --> 00:44:54,340 We're chatting a little bit. 846 00:44:54,340 --> 00:44:55,340 Chat with Dan. 847 00:44:55,340 --> 00:44:56,340 In a second. 848 00:44:56,340 --> 00:44:57,340 And Dan just has been the wheel, right? 849 00:44:57,340 --> 00:44:58,340 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 850 00:44:58,340 --> 00:45:08,340 When you describe the child as dirty, what exactly does that entail? 851 00:45:08,340 --> 00:45:14,340 I mean, he's covered head to toe in dust. Like I was when I was 12 or 13 years old. 852 00:45:14,340 --> 00:45:19,340 Yeah, just a kid who hadn't had a bath in a long time. 853 00:45:19,340 --> 00:45:23,340 You said this is in Mississippi? 854 00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:26,340 That's where the show starts. 855 00:45:26,340 --> 00:45:29,340 And by this point in the story, we're in Iraq. 856 00:45:29,340 --> 00:45:35,340 Oh, well, it's not Iraq. 857 00:45:35,340 --> 00:45:41,340 In other words, no, it's the Mississippi of the rest of the world. 858 00:45:41,340 --> 00:45:43,340 Dan, you want to spin the wheel for him? 859 00:45:43,340 --> 00:45:49,340 Yeah, I'll spin the wheel. 860 00:45:49,340 --> 00:45:50,340 B-J-W. 861 00:45:50,340 --> 00:45:55,340 Fuck. 862 00:45:55,340 --> 00:46:10,340 All right, so here we go. 863 00:46:10,340 --> 00:46:12,340 Oh, thank God. 864 00:46:12,340 --> 00:46:14,340 You were clapping about that? 865 00:46:14,340 --> 00:46:15,340 Thank God. 866 00:46:15,340 --> 00:46:16,340 He did. 867 00:46:16,340 --> 00:46:19,340 Thank God to smooth us off. 868 00:46:19,340 --> 00:46:30,340 All right, so the way this works, Brandon, go spin the wheel until you reach either Dom or JJ, and then that person will take off their sock. 869 00:46:30,340 --> 00:46:34,340 I didn't put any powder on today either. 870 00:46:34,340 --> 00:46:47,340 They will take off their sock, and then you have to put that sock to your nose and sniff it for five seconds and then describe it to the rest of the crowd. 871 00:46:47,340 --> 00:46:54,340 Oh, I got it again. 872 00:46:54,340 --> 00:46:55,340 JJ. 873 00:46:55,340 --> 00:46:56,340 JJ. 874 00:46:56,340 --> 00:47:03,340 JJ's just glad that he didn't get this one. 875 00:47:03,340 --> 00:47:10,340 All right, now when you put it up to your nose, I'll start. 876 00:47:10,340 --> 00:47:17,340 Five, four, three, two, one. 877 00:47:17,340 --> 00:47:22,340 All right, now be very descriptive and tell us what you experienced. 878 00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:26,340 I want to tell you this is a very clean man. 879 00:47:26,340 --> 00:47:32,340 Damn, it smelled like you ever sat in a car and it didn't smell bad, but it actually smelled good. 880 00:47:32,340 --> 00:47:35,340 That's what it smelled like. 881 00:47:35,340 --> 00:47:38,340 You got a new car smell feet there. 882 00:47:38,340 --> 00:47:41,340 Ladies. 883 00:47:41,340 --> 00:47:43,340 Was it like a Honda or? 884 00:47:43,340 --> 00:47:46,340 Was it like a Honda or? 885 00:47:46,340 --> 00:47:50,340 Maybe like a 96, huh? 886 00:47:50,340 --> 00:47:54,340 Now give it up for JJ, his 96 Honda smell feet. 887 00:47:54,340 --> 00:47:58,340 And for Brandon for completing the wheel with the crown on. 888 00:47:58,340 --> 00:48:05,340 Everybody give him one more time for Dan Price. 889 00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:07,340 All right, who you pulling? 890 00:48:07,340 --> 00:48:12,340 Time for a bucket pull. 891 00:48:12,340 --> 00:48:16,340 Ladies and gentlemen, you are in for a real treat. 892 00:48:16,340 --> 00:48:23,340 Please give it up for Charles Good. 893 00:48:23,340 --> 00:48:31,340 Charles, Charles, Charles. 894 00:48:31,340 --> 00:48:39,340 Real quick before Charles starts, we forgot to tell you that the best set of the night for the bucket pulls is getting $100 cash. 895 00:48:39,340 --> 00:48:46,340 As voted on by you, the audience, so pay attention. 896 00:48:46,340 --> 00:48:50,340 All right, howdy everybody. Y'all doing all right? 897 00:48:50,340 --> 00:48:55,340 So who in here hates short people? 898 00:48:55,340 --> 00:48:57,340 Raise your hand. Yeah. 899 00:48:57,340 --> 00:49:01,340 One, two, all right, a few in the back. Nice. 900 00:49:01,340 --> 00:49:06,340 So we got like four and a lot of liars, which is OK. 901 00:49:06,340 --> 00:49:14,340 I love to lie. My favorite lie to tell is come on down to the stand up show and you'll see me do really well. 902 00:49:14,340 --> 00:49:17,340 Ouch. 903 00:49:17,340 --> 00:49:21,340 Right. Yeah, I'm pretty short. 904 00:49:21,340 --> 00:49:25,340 I'm taller than y'all right now. 905 00:49:25,340 --> 00:49:36,340 I know you hate me, but I know there's a lot of cash in this room because they were giving some out. 906 00:49:36,340 --> 00:49:40,340 Pretty sneaky. 907 00:49:40,340 --> 00:49:42,340 I want to get you. 908 00:49:42,340 --> 00:49:45,340 Who got the luck? 909 00:49:45,340 --> 00:49:47,340 I think it was you got a lot of money. 910 00:49:47,340 --> 00:49:49,340 I'll get that. 911 00:49:49,340 --> 00:49:57,340 I'm actually I don't like alcohol too much. Is that just me? 912 00:49:57,340 --> 00:49:59,340 Yeah, it is. 913 00:49:59,340 --> 00:50:01,340 That's a pretty good beverage. 914 00:50:01,340 --> 00:50:10,340 But I was actually talking to talking to some of my friends the other day and they all said they didn't like it because it tasted too much like piss. 915 00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:15,340 And I said, guys, you got to stop drinking piss. 916 00:50:15,340 --> 00:50:21,340 All right. I mean, I know they say alcohol is an acquired taste, but at least it gets you fucked up. 917 00:50:21,340 --> 00:50:27,340 If you drink piss and you don't like it, stop. 918 00:50:27,340 --> 00:50:31,340 Do not acquire that taste. 919 00:50:31,340 --> 00:50:36,340 Not good. Take it from me. It's not good. 920 00:50:36,340 --> 00:50:40,340 Listen, I don't know. 921 00:50:40,340 --> 00:50:48,340 But I don't know. It's not even the taste for me. It's actually like when I drink it, I get all angry and confused. 922 00:50:48,340 --> 00:50:54,340 You already have that. It's called being a gay Christian. 923 00:50:54,340 --> 00:50:58,340 I just bottle it up and throw it in the closet. 924 00:50:58,340 --> 00:51:02,340 All right. But somebody actually asked me after I told that joke one time. 925 00:51:02,340 --> 00:51:05,340 If I was a gay Christian, so I want to clear the air. 926 00:51:05,340 --> 00:51:10,340 I'm agnostic. 927 00:51:10,340 --> 00:51:18,340 Yeah. So I actually I love talking on the phone because you can get naked doing it. 928 00:51:18,340 --> 00:51:21,340 Oh, I'm not saying I get naked every time I talk on the phone. 929 00:51:21,340 --> 00:51:28,340 Like I don't like schedule an oil change and strip down on doing it. 930 00:51:28,340 --> 00:51:35,340 I get it. I need an oil change. 931 00:51:35,340 --> 00:51:38,340 I need an oil change. 932 00:51:38,340 --> 00:51:43,340 Can I come with a tire rotation? 933 00:51:43,340 --> 00:51:51,340 All right. Yeah, Charles. 934 00:51:51,340 --> 00:51:59,340 Charles, you have the flattest ass I've ever seen in my entire life. 935 00:51:59,340 --> 00:52:02,340 I have big jeans. 936 00:52:02,340 --> 00:52:06,340 Don't think that's it. 937 00:52:06,340 --> 00:52:10,340 And also there are there's a certain group of piss drinking enthusiasts. 938 00:52:10,340 --> 00:52:13,340 They're called meth addicts. 939 00:52:13,340 --> 00:52:23,340 I didn't say I wasn't. 940 00:52:23,340 --> 00:52:25,340 Recreation. 941 00:52:25,340 --> 00:52:27,340 It's all about the style, man. 942 00:52:27,340 --> 00:52:30,340 It's so awkward, but it works in the right way. 943 00:52:30,340 --> 00:52:35,340 Yeah. And then one time I'd open my head. 944 00:52:35,340 --> 00:52:40,340 There was this this guy, white guy, he said he said nigga on stage, right? 945 00:52:40,340 --> 00:52:43,340 I know I didn't. 946 00:52:43,340 --> 00:52:46,340 So like it like it like it like killed the whole room. 947 00:52:46,340 --> 00:52:54,340 And then Charles went up right after him and face planted on the stage harder than I've ever seen anybody fall before my life. 948 00:52:54,340 --> 00:52:56,340 It was beautiful. 949 00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:59,340 I'm glad you enjoy this. 950 00:52:59,340 --> 00:53:00,340 You did it again just now. 951 00:53:00,340 --> 00:53:02,340 I just didn't say it into the mic. 952 00:53:02,340 --> 00:53:06,340 Was that part of the show? Did you literally slip and bust your ass right there? 953 00:53:06,340 --> 00:53:10,340 Well, you remember from the start I said I was short. 954 00:53:10,340 --> 00:53:12,340 So you tried to make it. 955 00:53:12,340 --> 00:53:14,340 You raised this bill. 956 00:53:14,340 --> 00:53:15,340 Oh, yeah. 957 00:53:15,340 --> 00:53:20,340 It's been a real good. 958 00:53:20,340 --> 00:53:37,340 Oh, yeah. 959 00:53:37,340 --> 00:54:01,340 Come up with a spicy sardine. 960 00:54:01,340 --> 00:54:18,340 Yeah. 961 00:54:18,340 --> 00:54:29,340 He suddenly flooded with thoughts of his ex wife. 962 00:54:29,340 --> 00:54:33,340 How was that? 963 00:54:33,340 --> 00:54:35,340 Really? 964 00:54:35,340 --> 00:54:38,340 I put it in my mouth so softly. 965 00:54:38,340 --> 00:54:47,340 Everybody. 966 00:54:47,340 --> 00:55:10,340 Next. 967 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:11,340 What's up, everybody? 968 00:55:11,340 --> 00:55:14,340 I'm Mason. 969 00:55:14,340 --> 00:55:17,340 Oh, my God. 970 00:55:17,340 --> 00:55:19,340 Comedy is so much fun about a throw up right now. 971 00:55:19,340 --> 00:55:20,340 Oh, man. 972 00:55:20,340 --> 00:55:22,340 I just thought it's so funny. 973 00:55:22,340 --> 00:55:23,340 What's in the cup? 974 00:55:23,340 --> 00:55:24,340 Brandon? 975 00:55:24,340 --> 00:55:25,340 What's up? 976 00:55:25,340 --> 00:55:26,340 This one? 977 00:55:26,340 --> 00:55:27,340 The Mesa jar. 978 00:55:27,340 --> 00:55:28,340 Is it cool? 979 00:55:28,340 --> 00:55:29,340 Is it cool? 980 00:55:29,340 --> 00:55:30,340 Oh, it's close to cool. 981 00:55:30,340 --> 00:55:32,340 It's called the high hurricane. 982 00:55:32,340 --> 00:55:33,340 High hurricane. 983 00:55:33,340 --> 00:55:37,340 Yeah. 984 00:55:37,340 --> 00:55:38,340 Okay. 985 00:55:38,340 --> 00:55:39,340 Like nine percent. 986 00:55:39,340 --> 00:55:40,340 Okay. 987 00:55:40,340 --> 00:55:41,340 I like how it goes. 988 00:55:41,340 --> 00:55:44,340 I like that. 989 00:55:44,340 --> 00:55:45,340 Cool. 990 00:55:45,340 --> 00:55:47,340 A four local monster and four local. 991 00:55:47,340 --> 00:55:49,340 Which has been fitting. 992 00:55:49,340 --> 00:55:50,340 So let's see. 993 00:55:50,340 --> 00:55:52,340 I was born up in Indiana. 994 00:55:52,340 --> 00:55:53,340 Right. 995 00:55:53,340 --> 00:55:54,340 And yeah. 996 00:55:54,340 --> 00:55:57,340 A wider world. 997 00:55:57,340 --> 00:56:05,340 And so my mom moved us down to Alabama because of racism. 998 00:56:05,340 --> 00:56:06,340 Right. 999 00:56:06,340 --> 00:56:07,340 She wanted more. 1000 00:56:07,340 --> 00:56:08,340 It doesn't make sense. 1001 00:56:08,340 --> 00:56:09,340 She said that she wanted more. 1002 00:56:09,340 --> 00:56:10,340 You would think so. 1003 00:56:10,340 --> 00:56:12,340 But the people are smarter up north, I think. 1004 00:56:12,340 --> 00:56:14,340 Not to hate on anybody down here down south. 1005 00:56:14,340 --> 00:56:17,340 But we were learning how to read a clock in first grade. 1006 00:56:17,340 --> 00:56:20,340 I came down here and nobody knew how to read the hands on the clock. 1007 00:56:20,340 --> 00:56:29,340 And nobody was, or ever was, sorry. 1008 00:56:29,340 --> 00:56:31,340 This is so fucking cool. 1009 00:56:31,340 --> 00:56:33,340 It's my birthday weekend. 1010 00:56:33,340 --> 00:56:37,340 Y'all give it up for Brandon. 1011 00:56:37,340 --> 00:56:42,340 I'm the fucking youngest comedian in the house, feels like. 1012 00:56:42,340 --> 00:56:43,340 But I come out here. 1013 00:56:43,340 --> 00:56:45,340 I fucking get up on stage. 1014 00:56:45,340 --> 00:56:46,340 Give it up. 1015 00:56:46,340 --> 00:56:49,340 Give a hand for everybody else that just came up here on stage. 1016 00:56:49,340 --> 00:56:50,340 It's not easy. 1017 00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:51,340 It's not easy. 1018 00:56:51,340 --> 00:56:56,340 But I'm very grateful my mom came out to support me tonight, y'all. 1019 00:56:56,340 --> 00:56:58,340 For my beautiful mother. 1020 00:56:58,340 --> 00:57:02,340 She's the reason why I do this. 1021 00:57:02,340 --> 00:57:03,340 Yeah. 1022 00:57:03,340 --> 00:57:07,340 She got with the black man. 1023 00:57:07,340 --> 00:57:09,340 I didn't find that out until later on in life. 1024 00:57:09,340 --> 00:57:11,340 And I was like, oh shit. 1025 00:57:11,340 --> 00:57:13,340 Because she didn't let me say the A word in the house. 1026 00:57:13,340 --> 00:57:18,340 I had to learn. 1027 00:57:18,340 --> 00:57:20,340 Thank you. 1028 00:57:20,340 --> 00:57:27,340 Growing up having black and half white was fun because black culture is really cool. 1029 00:57:27,340 --> 00:57:32,340 But when you're not grown up in it, it's kind of hard to figure out. 1030 00:57:32,340 --> 00:57:33,340 You know what I'm saying? 1031 00:57:33,340 --> 00:57:34,340 What's going on? 1032 00:57:34,340 --> 00:57:40,340 Like for example, sorry. 1033 00:57:40,340 --> 00:57:44,340 Fuck you. 1034 00:57:44,340 --> 00:57:51,340 Blacking out right now. 1035 00:57:51,340 --> 00:57:53,340 Thank you. 1036 00:57:53,340 --> 00:58:02,340 Growing up mixed is fun because like I said, you have to learn how to say the N word to fit in. 1037 00:58:02,340 --> 00:58:06,340 And I'm going to just end with this. 1038 00:58:06,340 --> 00:58:11,340 The first time I had fried chicken was at Golda Corral. 1039 00:58:11,340 --> 00:58:13,340 Oh yeah. 1040 00:58:13,340 --> 00:58:17,340 Amazing. 1041 00:58:17,340 --> 00:58:18,340 All right, Mason. 1042 00:58:18,340 --> 00:58:19,340 Two things. 1043 00:58:19,340 --> 00:58:21,340 Two things. 1044 00:58:21,340 --> 00:58:23,340 The sweater. 1045 00:58:23,340 --> 00:58:28,340 Did you take that off Cosby before or after? 1046 00:58:28,340 --> 00:58:30,340 Before. 1047 00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:31,340 And then the second thing. 1048 00:58:31,340 --> 00:58:33,340 I actually met your mom for the first time tonight. 1049 00:58:33,340 --> 00:58:34,340 She's great. 1050 00:58:34,340 --> 00:58:35,340 Thank you for coming out. 1051 00:58:35,340 --> 00:58:39,340 Thank you. 1052 00:58:39,340 --> 00:58:42,340 You said you learned you were half black. 1053 00:58:42,340 --> 00:58:43,340 How old were you? 1054 00:58:43,340 --> 00:58:44,340 Your mom got with black men. 1055 00:58:44,340 --> 00:58:46,340 When did you learn that? 1056 00:58:46,340 --> 00:58:48,340 Probably around like nine. 1057 00:58:48,340 --> 00:58:49,340 Okay. 1058 00:58:49,340 --> 00:58:51,340 Your mom's white. 1059 00:58:51,340 --> 00:58:59,340 Yeah man, like when you're going out in public, you know, my mom never hit me growing up because like the image of a white woman hitting a black child in public is just a little bit too much to bear for some people. 1060 00:58:59,340 --> 00:59:03,340 Okay, we unlocked a lot right there. 1061 00:59:03,340 --> 00:59:06,340 I was mostly referring to the fact that you're mixed. 1062 00:59:06,340 --> 00:59:07,340 Yes. 1063 00:59:07,340 --> 00:59:12,340 Just by like, you know, in the seventh grade biology, they show you this thing called a Punnett Square. 1064 00:59:12,340 --> 00:59:13,340 Yes. 1065 00:59:13,340 --> 00:59:15,340 Just like biology, you know. 1066 00:59:15,340 --> 00:59:27,340 Like I knew I was half black, but like actually putting like connecting the dots in my head was like a different story. 1067 00:59:27,340 --> 00:59:28,340 You know what I mean? 1068 00:59:28,340 --> 00:59:34,340 Like I didn't like when Michael Jackson died, I didn't find out until like 2012. 1069 00:59:34,340 --> 00:59:37,340 And then when I found out, I was devastated. 1070 00:59:37,340 --> 00:59:40,340 It's almost like when I found out that I'm not. 1071 00:59:40,340 --> 00:59:41,340 No, I'm just kidding. 1072 00:59:41,340 --> 00:59:42,340 I love being black. 1073 00:59:42,340 --> 00:59:44,340 I was mostly Native American. 1074 00:59:44,340 --> 00:59:45,340 Do you say n***a now? 1075 00:59:45,340 --> 00:59:46,340 Oh, yeah. 1076 00:59:46,340 --> 00:59:48,340 We're both the same, right? 1077 00:59:48,340 --> 00:59:49,340 Half black, half German. 1078 00:59:49,340 --> 00:59:52,340 So we say s*** like mine, n***a. 1079 00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:56,340 Let's say who starts from the chest. 1080 00:59:56,340 --> 00:59:58,340 Alright. 1081 00:59:58,340 --> 01:00:01,340 Should have said that. 1082 01:00:01,340 --> 01:00:04,340 Alright, you ready to spin this little n***a sir? 1083 01:00:04,340 --> 01:00:16,340 Don. 1084 01:00:16,340 --> 01:00:23,340 Hold hands, hold hands. 1085 01:00:23,340 --> 01:00:27,340 Alright, it's more for our next Don. 1086 01:00:27,340 --> 01:00:32,340 It's the sinus cleanser. 1087 01:00:32,340 --> 01:00:36,340 You got this Don. 1088 01:00:36,340 --> 01:00:37,340 You can do this Don. 1089 01:00:37,340 --> 01:00:50,340 Yeah baby. 1090 01:00:50,340 --> 01:00:51,340 Follow it. 1091 01:00:51,340 --> 01:01:05,340 Hold on. 1092 01:01:05,340 --> 01:01:13,340 I'm about to get it off the base. 1093 01:01:13,340 --> 01:01:14,340 Hell yeah. 1094 01:01:14,340 --> 01:01:35,340 The one, the only, Mike Sands. 1095 01:01:35,340 --> 01:01:36,340 Man, he just kept shitting out. 1096 01:01:36,340 --> 01:01:39,340 I don't know what I'm about to do. 1097 01:01:39,340 --> 01:01:42,340 Shouts out to Mason up. 1098 01:01:42,340 --> 01:01:45,340 How many 90 babies out here tonight? 1099 01:01:45,340 --> 01:01:48,340 How many 80s babies? 1100 01:01:48,340 --> 01:01:51,340 I grew up in the 80s. 1101 01:01:51,340 --> 01:01:54,340 The 80s was the era for me. 1102 01:01:54,340 --> 01:01:58,340 I used to get on stage with hip hop, MTV, BET. 1103 01:01:58,340 --> 01:02:00,340 Y'all remember those challenge, right? 1104 01:02:00,340 --> 01:02:01,340 Yeah. 1105 01:02:01,340 --> 01:02:02,340 Watching the big booty TVs. 1106 01:02:02,340 --> 01:02:03,340 Y'all remember the big booty TVs? 1107 01:02:03,340 --> 01:02:04,340 Hell yeah. 1108 01:02:04,340 --> 01:02:06,340 They called it a heavy set. 1109 01:02:06,340 --> 01:02:12,340 Hell yeah. 1110 01:02:12,340 --> 01:02:14,340 Meanwhile, I'm in my parents' house, my backyard. 1111 01:02:14,340 --> 01:02:15,340 Women like the mother flubby. 1112 01:02:15,340 --> 01:02:17,340 Y'all know what a women is, right? 1113 01:02:17,340 --> 01:02:21,340 Y'all seen the Olympics? 1114 01:02:21,340 --> 01:02:23,340 What the hell was that? 1115 01:02:23,340 --> 01:02:25,340 But anyway, me and my girl, we used to be in the backyard. 1116 01:02:25,340 --> 01:02:27,340 I used to always practice breakdancing. 1117 01:02:27,340 --> 01:02:30,340 I was a part of a group, North Alabama Breakdance Group. 1118 01:02:30,340 --> 01:02:33,340 I'm in the backyard getting ready for a beef. 1119 01:02:33,340 --> 01:02:36,340 We used to go to the skating rink. 1120 01:02:36,340 --> 01:02:37,340 We went to the skating rink. 1121 01:02:37,340 --> 01:02:39,340 Skating rink time was from 8 to 11. 1122 01:02:39,340 --> 01:02:40,340 We did the skating rink. 1123 01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:44,340 After 11, yeah, that's when the beef started. 1124 01:02:44,340 --> 01:02:46,340 I was the man in my neighborhood for breakdancing. 1125 01:02:46,340 --> 01:02:49,340 Whenever beef went on, they came and got me. 1126 01:02:49,340 --> 01:02:51,340 I was the shit. 1127 01:02:51,340 --> 01:02:52,340 My mom, she took care of me. 1128 01:02:52,340 --> 01:02:54,340 She bought all my breakdance clothes, 1129 01:02:54,340 --> 01:02:58,340 parachute pants, slippers. 1130 01:02:58,340 --> 01:02:59,340 You know, you're by the Velcro, 1131 01:02:59,340 --> 01:03:01,340 slipper shoes, you know what I'm saying? 1132 01:03:01,340 --> 01:03:03,340 With the Velcro too strapped. 1133 01:03:03,340 --> 01:03:05,340 You're in the having room when you breakdance. 1134 01:03:05,340 --> 01:03:08,340 But anyway, I'm in the backyard getting my shit together 1135 01:03:08,340 --> 01:03:09,340 for the skating rink. 1136 01:03:09,340 --> 01:03:11,340 We had skating rink tonight, right? 1137 01:03:11,340 --> 01:03:13,340 I'm chilling. I'm talking to my girl. 1138 01:03:13,340 --> 01:03:14,340 I look over to the left. 1139 01:03:14,340 --> 01:03:17,340 I said, dude, I balled the hell out of him. 1140 01:03:17,340 --> 01:03:19,340 Then he just did this shit. 1141 01:03:19,340 --> 01:03:21,340 Ooh. 1142 01:03:21,340 --> 01:03:23,340 I said, damn. 1143 01:03:23,340 --> 01:03:26,340 I told my girl, I said, I think she's going to beat me. 1144 01:03:26,340 --> 01:03:30,340 My girl, she popped like, she was looking at me like, 1145 01:03:30,340 --> 01:03:33,340 I think you're going to beat me. 1146 01:03:33,340 --> 01:03:34,340 So I'm chilling. 1147 01:03:34,340 --> 01:03:37,340 I'm like, damn, I look over to her again. 1148 01:03:37,340 --> 01:03:39,340 Five seconds later, it's three more guys over there. 1149 01:03:39,340 --> 01:03:40,340 That's some girls. 1150 01:03:40,340 --> 01:03:44,340 They're all looking at me doing this shit. 1151 01:03:44,340 --> 01:03:45,340 I got beef or something. 1152 01:03:45,340 --> 01:03:49,340 All of a sudden, out of nowhere, all of them just started 1153 01:03:49,340 --> 01:03:52,340 walking like... 1154 01:03:52,340 --> 01:04:00,340 And one guy broke off from all of them got in my face, 1155 01:04:00,340 --> 01:04:05,340 he's like, you like the shit you did last week? 1156 01:04:05,340 --> 01:04:09,340 Yeah. 1157 01:04:09,340 --> 01:04:10,340 Talk about mama. 1158 01:04:10,340 --> 01:04:17,340 Shit. 1159 01:04:17,340 --> 01:04:20,340 I don't know what he was doing, but I got something for you. 1160 01:04:20,340 --> 01:04:23,340 He did this shit right here and threw a wave. 1161 01:04:23,340 --> 01:04:25,340 What he did was he threw it to a random dude across the room. 1162 01:04:25,340 --> 01:04:41,340 The dude across the room caught the wave like this. 1163 01:04:41,340 --> 01:04:43,340 I don't know you. 1164 01:04:43,340 --> 01:04:46,340 I don't give a fuck about you. 1165 01:04:46,340 --> 01:04:48,340 That's it, I guess. 1166 01:04:48,340 --> 01:04:54,340 Mike Stills, everybody. 1167 01:04:54,340 --> 01:04:58,340 I'm tired of this shit right now. 1168 01:04:58,340 --> 01:05:00,340 That's some aerobics. 1169 01:05:00,340 --> 01:05:01,340 What did you say? 1170 01:05:01,340 --> 01:05:02,340 That was some aerobics. 1171 01:05:02,340 --> 01:05:03,340 That was aerobics? 1172 01:05:03,340 --> 01:05:04,340 Yeah, you should be able to hear it. 1173 01:05:04,340 --> 01:05:06,340 I said wax on, wax off. 1174 01:05:06,340 --> 01:05:07,340 Hey, what wax on? 1175 01:05:07,340 --> 01:05:08,340 What wax on, wax off? 1176 01:05:08,340 --> 01:05:09,340 That's wax on, wax off. 1177 01:05:09,340 --> 01:05:10,340 I don't know about that. 1178 01:05:10,340 --> 01:05:11,340 You said wax on, wax off. 1179 01:05:11,340 --> 01:05:13,340 Yeah, I said wax on, wax off. 1180 01:05:13,340 --> 01:05:14,340 Well, they wax on, wax off. 1181 01:05:14,340 --> 01:05:16,340 Yeah, you're good like a dolphin. 1182 01:05:16,340 --> 01:05:19,340 I gotta get it, man. 1183 01:05:19,340 --> 01:05:21,340 You build like, you ever see happy feet? 1184 01:05:21,340 --> 01:05:25,340 You build like one of those penguins and they're with rape dance and stuff. 1185 01:05:25,340 --> 01:05:30,340 The reason I say he's like a dolphin is because he's clean like a dolphin. 1186 01:05:30,340 --> 01:05:32,340 Hair is nowhere. 1187 01:05:32,340 --> 01:05:34,340 You said wax on, wax off? 1188 01:05:34,340 --> 01:05:35,340 Oh, like no hair. 1189 01:05:35,340 --> 01:05:37,340 That wax on, wax off? 1190 01:05:37,340 --> 01:05:38,340 Yeah, wax on. 1191 01:05:38,340 --> 01:05:40,340 Do I manscape? 1192 01:05:40,340 --> 01:05:42,340 Hell yeah, man. 1193 01:05:42,340 --> 01:05:43,340 2.0. 1194 01:05:43,340 --> 01:05:46,340 I'm an old fashioned buddy. 1195 01:05:46,340 --> 01:05:47,340 It's a job. 1196 01:05:47,340 --> 01:05:51,340 Yeah, except for all these guys who are manscaping. 1197 01:05:51,340 --> 01:05:52,340 They don't sponsor us. 1198 01:05:52,340 --> 01:05:54,340 They don't be shouts at us. 1199 01:05:54,340 --> 01:05:56,340 They're good. 1200 01:05:56,340 --> 01:06:00,340 Mike, I like how during your set you said I was part of the North Alabama Breaking Crew 1201 01:06:00,340 --> 01:06:03,340 and looked at the audience like North Alabama Breaking Crew? 1202 01:06:03,340 --> 01:06:09,340 They don't even know this fucking podcast, Mike. 1203 01:06:09,340 --> 01:06:14,340 We got YouTube. 1204 01:06:14,340 --> 01:06:15,340 Mike, you ready to spin that whip? 1205 01:06:15,340 --> 01:06:17,340 Hell yeah. 1206 01:06:17,340 --> 01:06:18,340 See, right? 1207 01:06:18,340 --> 01:06:19,340 Yeah. 1208 01:06:19,340 --> 01:06:20,340 Oh yeah, this time. 1209 01:06:20,340 --> 01:06:22,340 I forgot my own thing to say. 1210 01:06:22,340 --> 01:06:25,340 There you go. 1211 01:06:25,340 --> 01:06:26,340 JJ. 1212 01:06:26,340 --> 01:06:28,340 Oh, thank God. 1213 01:06:28,340 --> 01:06:31,340 JJ Payne, get up there. 1214 01:06:31,340 --> 01:06:40,340 Alright, it's bad breath time. 1215 01:06:40,340 --> 01:06:50,340 That means that JJ has to take two bites out of an onion as if it were an apple, chew and swallow both bites. 1216 01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:54,340 Oh yeah. 1217 01:06:54,340 --> 01:06:56,340 You don't want to peel it? 1218 01:06:56,340 --> 01:06:59,340 It was prepared ahead of time. 1219 01:06:59,340 --> 01:07:04,340 I thought you were going to ram it. 1220 01:07:04,340 --> 01:07:05,340 YouTube running out of time. 1221 01:07:05,340 --> 01:07:09,340 Keep eating. 1222 01:07:09,340 --> 01:07:18,340 Everybody give it up one more time for Mike Sale. 1223 01:07:18,340 --> 01:07:19,340 How you doing? 1224 01:07:19,340 --> 01:07:20,340 Good. 1225 01:07:20,340 --> 01:07:21,340 How you doing? 1226 01:07:21,340 --> 01:07:22,340 Just clap. 1227 01:07:22,340 --> 01:07:25,340 Just clap. 1228 01:07:25,340 --> 01:07:43,340 Guys, please give it up for Hope Rangel. 1229 01:07:43,340 --> 01:07:48,340 Mason's mom has got it going on. 1230 01:07:48,340 --> 01:07:49,340 I'm not going to be here tonight. 1231 01:07:49,340 --> 01:07:52,340 I'm going to talk a little bit about my mom if you don't mind. 1232 01:07:52,340 --> 01:07:56,340 Do you guys ever have parents that would make you finish your entire plate before you kick it up? 1233 01:07:56,340 --> 01:07:57,340 Yeah. 1234 01:07:57,340 --> 01:07:58,340 Okay. 1235 01:07:58,340 --> 01:08:01,340 I was thinking about this one particular moment with my mom. 1236 01:08:01,340 --> 01:08:05,340 She sets a full bowl down in front of me. 1237 01:08:05,340 --> 01:08:08,340 I look at it and I'm like, there's no way, mom. 1238 01:08:08,340 --> 01:08:13,340 She said that classic line, you know, there's children starving in Africa. 1239 01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:16,340 I said, okay, mom, then send them this Xanax. 1240 01:08:16,340 --> 01:08:19,340 I can't. 1241 01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:25,340 She and I like to play a little game when I was growing up to see who could hold their breath the longest. 1242 01:08:25,340 --> 01:08:27,340 She'd always eventually win. 1243 01:08:27,340 --> 01:08:31,340 Her record, 13 years. 1244 01:08:31,340 --> 01:08:33,340 And counting. 1245 01:08:33,340 --> 01:08:36,340 She's killing it. 1246 01:08:36,340 --> 01:08:38,340 Don't get all tense yet, though. 1247 01:08:38,340 --> 01:08:45,340 It's fine because in that time period, we've learned how to communicate and continue arguing over a Ouija board. 1248 01:08:45,340 --> 01:08:48,340 You know how fun it is to hear, I'm disappointed. 1249 01:08:48,340 --> 01:08:52,340 One letter at a time. 1250 01:08:52,340 --> 01:08:53,340 It's great. 1251 01:08:53,340 --> 01:08:54,340 I try to hit back at her. 1252 01:08:54,340 --> 01:08:56,340 I'm like, B I T C. 1253 01:08:56,340 --> 01:08:59,340 She flips the board. 1254 01:08:59,340 --> 01:09:01,340 Mom, you're such a bad sport. 1255 01:09:01,340 --> 01:09:07,340 We raised each other better than that. 1256 01:09:07,340 --> 01:09:11,340 She had a series of miscarriages before getting pregnant with me. 1257 01:09:11,340 --> 01:09:17,340 And that's why my name is Hope, which is a lot of fucking pressure for a fetus. 1258 01:09:17,340 --> 01:09:22,340 And also the biggest practical joke of my entire life. 1259 01:09:22,340 --> 01:09:31,340 Because not only did she give me this optimistic name, she also gave me her crippling depression. 1260 01:09:31,340 --> 01:09:34,340 It's been a lot of fun figuring that one out. 1261 01:09:34,340 --> 01:09:43,340 Me personally, I'll probably never have kids because I told you guys last time, I'm kind of a pedophobe. 1262 01:09:43,340 --> 01:09:45,340 Kids scare me. 1263 01:09:45,340 --> 01:09:47,340 I'll tell you a long story short. 1264 01:09:47,340 --> 01:09:49,340 I like my niece though. 1265 01:09:49,340 --> 01:09:50,340 She's really cool. 1266 01:09:50,340 --> 01:09:51,340 She runs track. 1267 01:09:51,340 --> 01:09:54,340 She told me that they have blind track runners at their meets. 1268 01:09:54,340 --> 01:09:57,340 I was like, dude, that is so awesome. 1269 01:09:57,340 --> 01:10:00,340 I've never thought about that before. 1270 01:10:00,340 --> 01:10:03,340 How the fuck does that work actually? 1271 01:10:03,340 --> 01:10:06,340 Because I'm ignorant, but I don't want to be. 1272 01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:11,340 And so to understand, I asked questions at Easter Family Brunch. 1273 01:10:11,340 --> 01:10:14,340 And so I asked my niece, are they partially or fully blind? 1274 01:10:14,340 --> 01:10:15,340 She said there's both. 1275 01:10:15,340 --> 01:10:17,340 I said, okay. 1276 01:10:17,340 --> 01:10:20,340 Do they all run at the same time? 1277 01:10:20,340 --> 01:10:22,340 She says, yeah. 1278 01:10:22,340 --> 01:10:28,340 And at this point, my family is looking at me just like you guys are right now, just waiting for me to say something really fucked up. 1279 01:10:28,340 --> 01:10:33,340 At which point I ask, do they all run in straight lines? 1280 01:10:33,340 --> 01:10:36,340 She says, yeah, they have guides that run alongside them. 1281 01:10:36,340 --> 01:10:43,340 And I'm like, okay, well, why don't you just lead with that, you little bitch, instead of making me look like an ableist asshole in front of my entire family? 1282 01:10:43,340 --> 01:10:46,340 She's pretty cool, though. I like her. Thank you guys. 1283 01:10:46,340 --> 01:10:51,340 Hey, host. 1284 01:10:51,340 --> 01:10:55,340 Hey, you killed it. I love the dead mom joke. I mean, that shit's hilarious. 1285 01:10:55,340 --> 01:11:01,340 I see you got a crown war shirt on. You fuck with niggas now. 1286 01:11:01,340 --> 01:11:10,340 I did get it for free, so that might be okay. 1287 01:11:10,340 --> 01:11:15,340 I can't. 1288 01:11:15,340 --> 01:11:16,340 You heard the shit we said. 1289 01:11:16,340 --> 01:11:19,340 I said it's impossible. 1290 01:11:19,340 --> 01:11:21,340 It's possible. 1291 01:11:21,340 --> 01:11:24,340 I mean, it's a little impossible. 1292 01:11:24,340 --> 01:11:25,340 It's my thing. 1293 01:11:25,340 --> 01:11:26,340 I'm still here. 1294 01:11:26,340 --> 01:11:28,340 Oh, yeah, yeah, shit. 1295 01:11:28,340 --> 01:11:32,340 Dom looks at me during her set. He's like, I got this one. 1296 01:11:32,340 --> 01:11:36,340 That's all you said? 1297 01:11:36,340 --> 01:11:38,340 What are you talking about, dude? The hit? 1298 01:11:38,340 --> 01:11:45,340 Yeah, one joke in the chamber. He's like, I fucking got this. 1299 01:11:45,340 --> 01:11:53,340 I'm sorry, that only has gotten me four. 1300 01:11:53,340 --> 01:11:57,340 My uvula's tingling. 1301 01:11:57,340 --> 01:11:59,340 I hope you did an awesome job. You ready to spin this wheel? 1302 01:11:59,340 --> 01:12:05,340 Yeah. 1303 01:12:05,340 --> 01:12:09,340 I'm ready to spin this wheel. 1304 01:12:09,340 --> 01:12:25,340 It's Redneck Snack Time. 1305 01:12:25,340 --> 01:12:33,340 We have a whole ass Pickle Pigs foot for you, JJ. 1306 01:12:33,340 --> 01:12:43,340 There's a trash can over there. 1307 01:12:43,340 --> 01:12:51,340 All right, it won't make you eat the whole thing because that's a big ass foot on there. 1308 01:12:51,340 --> 01:12:56,340 Be careful, let some drip down on my studies if you don't mind. 1309 01:12:56,340 --> 01:13:08,340 At least a couple of bites. 1310 01:13:08,340 --> 01:13:15,340 It's not bad. 1311 01:13:15,340 --> 01:13:18,340 I don't know what else to do. It's not bad. 1312 01:13:18,340 --> 01:13:21,340 All right, well, you all can stop for JJ. You're going to be indoctrinated Redneck. 1313 01:13:21,340 --> 01:13:26,340 One more time for Hope. 1314 01:13:26,340 --> 01:13:33,340 Are you all ready for your next bucket pool? 1315 01:13:33,340 --> 01:13:47,340 You're here for a treat. We got the one, the only, Ogre. 1316 01:13:47,340 --> 01:13:59,340 Mike, you set the hype on this thing. 1317 01:13:59,340 --> 01:14:04,340 With your little ass. 1318 01:14:04,340 --> 01:14:09,340 You guys got to excuse me, I had to make me look this racist when I woke up this morning. 1319 01:14:09,340 --> 01:14:17,340 This sort of happened. It's not my fault I'm not resting, I tell you what, face. 1320 01:14:17,340 --> 01:14:25,340 I feel like we were all outside and you heard somebody say colored. You assumed that it was me that said it. 1321 01:14:25,340 --> 01:14:28,340 I ain't said that shit in three weeks. 1322 01:14:28,340 --> 01:14:37,340 And even then I was talking to my 12-year-old about colored pencils, but I still took a talking to for about 45 minutes from carrying. 1323 01:14:37,340 --> 01:14:40,340 I'm blind as shit. 1324 01:14:40,340 --> 01:14:45,340 You guys heard that saying, we're in Alabama. I'm blind in one eye and I can't see the other one. 1325 01:14:45,340 --> 01:14:50,340 I'm completely blind in this eye and I've got 14% vision in this one. 1326 01:14:50,340 --> 01:14:55,340 I'm blind in one eye and I can't see the other one. 1327 01:14:55,340 --> 01:15:00,340 It's fucked up, man. My eye doctor says that I've got 10% vision in this one. 1328 01:15:00,340 --> 01:15:05,340 But me and Raina went together and got our nipples pierced and she let me watch her get hers done. 1329 01:15:05,340 --> 01:15:12,340 I figured that titties make everything 4% better, right? 1330 01:15:12,340 --> 01:15:21,340 I'm trying to talk her into getting her hood pierced so that they can see how to drive again. 1331 01:15:21,340 --> 01:15:28,340 This always brings the crowd together. There's an election coming up. Who's voting Republican? 1332 01:15:28,340 --> 01:15:31,340 That's what I thought. 1333 01:15:31,340 --> 01:15:35,340 A lot of apartment renters in the crowd. 1334 01:15:35,340 --> 01:15:38,340 Who's voting Democrat? 1335 01:15:38,340 --> 01:15:42,340 Who don't give a flying fuck either way? 1336 01:15:42,340 --> 01:15:49,340 Hell yeah. I can't believe how many people get so upset and have faith that the government has any of our best interests in fucking mind. 1337 01:15:49,340 --> 01:15:53,340 Or give a fuck what we say as long as they get money they don't care. 1338 01:15:53,340 --> 01:16:02,340 I'm completely blind almost and I have a current Alabama pistol permit in my wallet right now. 1339 01:16:02,340 --> 01:16:10,340 I had to have a Morgan County Sheriff's deputy help me fill out the fucking form because I was sober and had $20. 1340 01:16:10,340 --> 01:16:20,340 And he helped me fill out that paper. I told this motherfucker I couldn't see well enough to fill out a piece of paper and they still sold it to me. 1341 01:16:20,340 --> 01:16:24,340 Very comforting. Very comforting. 1342 01:16:24,340 --> 01:16:29,340 Jesus Christ. I'm looking for you out there. Fuck it. There's a lot of showing to go see. 1343 01:16:29,340 --> 01:16:32,340 Oh no. Oh no. 1344 01:16:32,340 --> 01:16:35,340 Fucking hilarious. 1345 01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:44,340 I know I'm drinking for Loco, ate a raw onion and a pickled Bigfoot but you look like that to die. 1346 01:16:44,340 --> 01:16:50,340 You know what I could sit from toilet store was a real person. 1347 01:16:50,340 --> 01:16:53,340 I'm done. 1348 01:16:53,340 --> 01:16:57,340 Okies don't come over this way. 1349 01:16:57,340 --> 01:17:02,340 I'm going to say something good man. To make you feel better I got my pistol license too man. 1350 01:17:02,340 --> 01:17:04,340 That's a problem. 1351 01:17:04,340 --> 01:17:09,340 The only downfall was I accidentally did hit a car leaving that bitch. It was still good. 1352 01:17:09,340 --> 01:17:12,340 Nobody knows though. Until today. 1353 01:17:12,340 --> 01:17:19,340 At least I'm old off the drive man. 1354 01:17:19,340 --> 01:17:21,340 Oh you were expecting that? 1355 01:17:21,340 --> 01:17:22,340 Oh boy. 1356 01:17:22,340 --> 01:17:26,340 No? 1357 01:17:26,340 --> 01:17:29,340 Oh yeah. 1358 01:17:29,340 --> 01:17:31,340 You close? 1359 01:17:31,340 --> 01:17:35,340 Yeah. 1360 01:17:35,340 --> 01:17:50,340 Jay Day. 1361 01:17:50,340 --> 01:17:59,340 You get to do a big ass shot of hot sauce. It's Dave's insanity. 1362 01:17:59,340 --> 01:18:06,340 You got to call us in the morning and let us know how it comes out on the other side. 1363 01:18:06,340 --> 01:18:09,340 That's Chug it. Chug it. 1364 01:18:09,340 --> 01:18:13,340 There it is. 1365 01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:17,340 Everybody give that one more time for Ogar. 1366 01:18:17,340 --> 01:18:20,340 Killer. 1367 01:18:20,340 --> 01:18:25,340 Your next comedian. 1368 01:18:25,340 --> 01:18:29,340 Is the mean old bitch of Huntsville Common. 1369 01:18:29,340 --> 01:18:37,340 Rayna Payhill. 1370 01:18:37,340 --> 01:18:44,340 I look atrocious. I was not planning on being on a podcast tonight. 1371 01:18:44,340 --> 01:18:50,340 Hi my name is Rayna. I used to work at a pizza restaurant. Now I work with kids. 1372 01:18:50,340 --> 01:18:56,340 They're the same. Little kids and pizza. You can throw them both in the air. 1373 01:18:56,340 --> 01:19:02,340 And if you drop it you just throw it in the oven and pretend nothing happened. 1374 01:19:02,340 --> 01:19:09,340 I look like trash because I was doing a lifeguard class. Because I'm 15 years old. 1375 01:19:09,340 --> 01:19:12,340 I just haven't aged well. 1376 01:19:12,340 --> 01:19:15,340 And now it's my summer job. 1377 01:19:15,340 --> 01:19:20,340 Now I find it really interesting because I'm doing lifeguarding. 1378 01:19:20,340 --> 01:19:24,340 But there's not a lot you can do if you're a lifeguard in the ocean. 1379 01:19:24,340 --> 01:19:28,340 I found that out. There's pool stuff. There's a lot of stuff you can do for pools. 1380 01:19:28,340 --> 01:19:33,340 But in the ocean they're like, okay this is how you try to save a life. 1381 01:19:33,340 --> 01:19:36,340 And then this is how you look for a missing person. 1382 01:19:36,340 --> 01:19:40,340 Those are your two options. If you drown in the ocean, good fucking luck. 1383 01:19:40,340 --> 01:19:44,340 Okay? Sorry. We did our best. 1384 01:19:44,340 --> 01:19:49,340 I think dogs get all the best stuff. Like dentistics. 1385 01:19:49,340 --> 01:19:54,340 Why can't I eat a refreshing snack that cleans my teeth? 1386 01:19:54,340 --> 01:19:59,340 While I'm at it I want a vibrator that gives me a pap smear. 1387 01:19:59,340 --> 01:20:06,340 Thank you. I want a butt plug that screams me for colon cancer. Who's with me? 1388 01:20:06,340 --> 01:20:11,340 I know Kimberly's with me. She's tired of pooping in boxes. 1389 01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:21,340 I think a lot of people don't like the word dog mom. 1390 01:20:21,340 --> 01:20:25,340 And that's fine. But I don't know what you're supposed to call me. 1391 01:20:25,340 --> 01:20:29,340 Because I talk to my dogs the same way my mom talked to me. 1392 01:20:29,340 --> 01:20:35,340 Get that out of your mouth. Stop licking yourself. 1393 01:20:35,340 --> 01:20:38,340 You're the reason your dad's gone. 1394 01:20:38,340 --> 01:20:43,340 Stuff like that. I stepped in my dog's cum this morning. 1395 01:20:43,340 --> 01:20:45,340 Thank you. 1396 01:20:45,340 --> 01:20:49,340 I don't know if he's going through puberty or what. 1397 01:20:49,340 --> 01:20:52,340 But he better learn how to use a sock real quick. 1398 01:20:52,340 --> 01:20:56,340 Because I'm tired of wearing crusty bras. You know what I'm saying, ma'am? 1399 01:20:56,340 --> 01:21:00,340 Cool. 1400 01:21:00,340 --> 01:21:06,340 I think I'd have a pretty great ass if half of it didn't wrap around to the front to make my camel toe. 1401 01:21:06,340 --> 01:21:10,340 You know in the South we like a good wraparound porch? 1402 01:21:10,340 --> 01:21:14,340 I got a wraparound pussy. 1403 01:21:14,340 --> 01:21:18,340 Stop by. We'll have an Arnold Palmer sometime. 1404 01:21:18,340 --> 01:21:20,340 Okay, cool. 1405 01:21:20,340 --> 01:21:26,340 My pussy's so fat my clitoris has high cholesterol. 1406 01:21:26,340 --> 01:21:34,340 When I queef it sounds like a Biggie Smalls album. 1407 01:21:34,340 --> 01:21:38,340 I have to sleep with a seat-pat machine between my legs. 1408 01:21:38,340 --> 01:21:41,340 If I don't she whistles all night. Thank you. 1409 01:21:41,340 --> 01:21:45,340 Hey, yeah, Brady Cahill everybody. 1410 01:21:45,340 --> 01:21:48,340 You said you're a dog mom. 1411 01:21:48,340 --> 01:21:49,340 I am. 1412 01:21:49,340 --> 01:21:51,340 But you have cat mom hair. 1413 01:21:51,340 --> 01:21:54,340 Yeah. 1414 01:21:54,340 --> 01:21:56,340 That's pretty good. 1415 01:21:56,340 --> 01:21:58,340 Thank you. Yeah. 1416 01:21:58,340 --> 01:22:03,340 I also somehow have cat hair in my food. I don't know how that happened. 1417 01:22:03,340 --> 01:22:06,340 It's a white person thing I guess. 1418 01:22:06,340 --> 01:22:11,340 I like that joke you did with the dog thing where you talked about what was the one where you were like, you're the reason your dad left? 1419 01:22:11,340 --> 01:22:12,340 Yeah. 1420 01:22:12,340 --> 01:22:16,340 That's like my mom said she was like hitting with the stick. 1421 01:22:16,340 --> 01:22:19,340 She's very bad. 1422 01:22:19,340 --> 01:22:22,340 She said to you that she hit you with the stick? 1423 01:22:22,340 --> 01:22:25,340 Wait, what, the glad your mom and dad left? 1424 01:22:25,340 --> 01:22:26,340 Yeah. 1425 01:22:26,340 --> 01:22:29,340 Oh, no, but she probably thought that shit. 1426 01:22:29,340 --> 01:22:33,340 She was like, you're a poof when she gets mad. 1427 01:22:33,340 --> 01:22:34,340 No. 1428 01:22:34,340 --> 01:22:35,340 Accident. 1429 01:22:35,340 --> 01:22:37,340 Oh, okay. 1430 01:22:37,340 --> 01:22:40,340 Do you listen to his comedy or not, dude? 1431 01:22:40,340 --> 01:22:44,340 He talks about it. I knew what a poof was. I was with you. 1432 01:22:44,340 --> 01:22:46,340 But right now you killed that shit. 1433 01:22:46,340 --> 01:22:47,340 Oh, thank you. 1434 01:22:47,340 --> 01:22:48,340 Like always. 1435 01:22:48,340 --> 01:22:49,340 Thanks. 1436 01:22:49,340 --> 01:22:51,340 You're also the producer of Epic Comedy Hour, right? 1437 01:22:51,340 --> 01:22:52,340 Yeah, sometimes. 1438 01:22:52,340 --> 01:22:58,340 Yeah, I like it. It's great. I like co-producing Epic Comedy Hour. 1439 01:22:58,340 --> 01:22:59,340 Where can they find it? 1440 01:22:59,340 --> 01:23:02,340 Epic Comedy Hour on Facebook and Instagram. 1441 01:23:02,340 --> 01:23:07,340 Epic Comedy, you can email us if you want. EpicComedyHour at gmail.com. 1442 01:23:07,340 --> 01:23:11,340 If you want Scott Easton's phone number, I could get it out right now. 1443 01:23:11,340 --> 01:23:13,340 Y'all can call him directly. 1444 01:23:13,340 --> 01:23:14,340 You ready to spin this wheel? 1445 01:23:14,340 --> 01:23:15,340 I'm ready. 1446 01:23:15,340 --> 01:23:17,340 If you get JJ, just go to the next one. 1447 01:23:17,340 --> 01:23:22,340 I was just about to say we're going to, you know, no more JJ wheel. 1448 01:23:22,340 --> 01:23:24,340 We might need to go to the hospital wheel. 1449 01:23:24,340 --> 01:23:28,340 Brandon is not responsible. 1450 01:23:28,340 --> 01:23:32,340 Brandon! 1451 01:23:32,340 --> 01:23:34,340 Hey! 1452 01:23:34,340 --> 01:23:50,340 He gets to do a shot of apple cider vinegar. 1453 01:23:50,340 --> 01:23:58,340 Yeah. 1454 01:23:58,340 --> 01:24:07,340 Do it! Do it! Do it! 1455 01:24:07,340 --> 01:24:13,340 This smells like food. 1456 01:24:13,340 --> 01:24:14,340 It smells like what? 1457 01:24:14,340 --> 01:24:15,340 Feet. 1458 01:24:15,340 --> 01:24:16,340 I said feet. 1459 01:24:16,340 --> 01:24:21,340 That's what foot smells like. 1460 01:24:21,340 --> 01:24:33,340 Alright guys, I just want to thank you all for coming out and staying for all of this. 1461 01:24:33,340 --> 01:24:34,340 I hope you had a great time. 1462 01:24:34,340 --> 01:24:36,340 We got one more treat for you. 1463 01:24:36,340 --> 01:24:41,340 The second best comic in Huntsville as voted for his peers. 1464 01:24:41,340 --> 01:25:03,340 Everybody give it up for the great Sappha! 1465 01:25:03,340 --> 01:25:07,340 How y'all doing? 1466 01:25:07,340 --> 01:25:12,340 Question, anybody here got an interesting celebrity crush? 1467 01:25:12,340 --> 01:25:15,340 Who said no? 1468 01:25:15,340 --> 01:25:17,340 What's your celebrity crush, Ogre? 1469 01:25:17,340 --> 01:25:20,340 Happy face. 1470 01:25:20,340 --> 01:25:24,340 That one's going to stink like pig sweet and hard moss. 1471 01:25:24,340 --> 01:25:30,340 I asked my cousin if he had an interesting celebrity crush. 1472 01:25:30,340 --> 01:25:35,340 And he was like, off the top of my head, Casey Anthony. 1473 01:25:35,340 --> 01:25:37,340 That's the sound I made. 1474 01:25:37,340 --> 01:25:41,340 He cut me off, he was like, I know, she's white and grandma wasn't white. 1475 01:25:41,340 --> 01:25:43,340 And I'm like, no, no. 1476 01:25:43,340 --> 01:25:44,340 There's something else. 1477 01:25:44,340 --> 01:25:49,340 He was like, I want you to think about this. 1478 01:25:49,340 --> 01:25:50,340 She's crazy. 1479 01:25:50,340 --> 01:25:52,340 Let's just get that out of the way. 1480 01:25:52,340 --> 01:25:56,340 And if anybody in here just had sex with a crazy person, it was some of the best sex of your life. 1481 01:25:56,340 --> 01:25:58,340 Let's just be honest. 1482 01:25:58,340 --> 01:25:59,340 That's point number one. 1483 01:25:59,340 --> 01:26:02,340 Point number two was you never had to wear a condom. 1484 01:26:02,340 --> 01:26:09,340 Because even if you do get her pregnant, at some point she's going to handle her responsibilities. 1485 01:26:09,340 --> 01:26:13,340 Okay, I see we don't have an abortion forever. 1486 01:26:13,340 --> 01:26:17,340 Which one of you lying fucks is going to church tomorrow? 1487 01:26:17,340 --> 01:26:20,340 Mississippi, you going to church? 1488 01:26:20,340 --> 01:26:23,340 You lying sack of shit. 1489 01:26:23,340 --> 01:26:27,340 If you go to a church, the cross is going to be on fire. 1490 01:26:27,340 --> 01:26:29,340 Nah, you cool. 1491 01:26:29,340 --> 01:26:31,340 I just got a little resentment in my heart. 1492 01:26:31,340 --> 01:26:33,340 I was like, why did they make fun of Sapphire? 1493 01:26:33,340 --> 01:26:35,340 Black guy. 1494 01:26:35,340 --> 01:26:37,340 Totally black. 1495 01:26:37,340 --> 01:26:41,340 I love being in Huntsville because I get to go to so many different churches. 1496 01:26:41,340 --> 01:26:45,340 And I see a lot of you guys are white. 1497 01:26:45,340 --> 01:26:47,340 Let me just tell you something. 1498 01:26:47,340 --> 01:26:52,340 You guys do church better than any other racial group I've ever seen in my life. 1499 01:26:52,340 --> 01:26:57,340 The food and the music is a little different, but everything else, chef's kiss. 1500 01:26:57,340 --> 01:27:07,340 You get in, there's a sermon, guitar solo, boom, you're at Cracker Barrel by 1145 eating hash brown casserole. 1501 01:27:07,340 --> 01:27:11,340 One of the things I love the most about white church, you can never tell what they are just by their names. 1502 01:27:11,340 --> 01:27:13,340 It's like, hey sister, where do you go? 1503 01:27:13,340 --> 01:27:15,340 Oh, I go to the Grove. 1504 01:27:15,340 --> 01:27:18,340 Sounds like a spa. 1505 01:27:18,340 --> 01:27:19,340 Hey brother, where do you go? 1506 01:27:19,340 --> 01:27:21,340 Oh, I go to the Rock. 1507 01:27:21,340 --> 01:27:25,340 I love Dwayne Johnson. 1508 01:27:25,340 --> 01:27:29,340 Black people, we will add any word that sounds somewhat religious to our church titles. 1509 01:27:29,340 --> 01:27:31,340 It's like, where do you go, brother man? 1510 01:27:31,340 --> 01:27:34,340 I go to St. John's Episcopal Little Rock by the side of the road. 1511 01:27:34,340 --> 01:27:37,340 Mary had a little lamb slash check cashing. 1512 01:27:37,340 --> 01:27:39,340 You'll be like, check cashing? 1513 01:27:39,340 --> 01:27:42,340 You ever pull up on a church and they'll be like, on Thursdays we buy gold. 1514 01:27:42,340 --> 01:27:44,340 Get the fuck out of there. 1515 01:27:44,340 --> 01:27:52,340 My ultimate thing that I love about white churches and black churches is at a white church they introduce Jesus to you so creatively. 1516 01:27:52,340 --> 01:27:58,340 It's almost like they have hundreds of years of doing this shit until the people that guy knows history. 1517 01:27:58,340 --> 01:28:01,340 They'll say something cool like, are you lost in the sea of life? 1518 01:28:01,340 --> 01:28:04,340 Let Jesus be your lighthouse to salvation. 1519 01:28:04,340 --> 01:28:07,340 Black church will introduce Jesus like it's WrestleMania 30. 1520 01:28:07,340 --> 01:28:12,340 They'll go, give it up for the Alpha, the Omega, the King of Kings. 1521 01:28:12,340 --> 01:28:19,340 I always imagine Jesus behind the curtain going, mm-hmm, I'm going to fuck you up this Sunday, Bills. 1522 01:28:19,340 --> 01:28:22,340 My name is Safa and that's my time. 1523 01:28:25,340 --> 01:28:26,340 Safa. 1524 01:28:26,340 --> 01:28:27,340 You. 1525 01:28:27,340 --> 01:28:31,340 Hey, you notice how they gave the white guys hot sauce and now he's incapacitating. 1526 01:28:31,340 --> 01:28:32,340 Yeah. 1527 01:28:32,340 --> 01:28:34,340 Can't take any fucking pepper. 1528 01:28:34,340 --> 01:28:37,340 Jack and I noticed they were giving you all the eating ones earlier. 1529 01:28:37,340 --> 01:28:38,340 Yeah. 1530 01:28:38,340 --> 01:28:41,340 And we're like, Dom's getting hard. 1531 01:28:41,340 --> 01:28:45,340 What else can I eat? 1532 01:28:45,340 --> 01:28:46,340 I love you, Dom. 1533 01:28:46,340 --> 01:28:47,340 The horse ride wasn't bad. 1534 01:28:47,340 --> 01:28:48,340 Was it not? 1535 01:28:48,340 --> 01:28:49,340 Yeah. 1536 01:28:49,340 --> 01:28:50,340 What the fuck else can I eat? 1537 01:28:50,340 --> 01:28:51,340 Oh, that sardine. 1538 01:28:51,340 --> 01:28:52,340 Sardines. 1539 01:28:52,340 --> 01:28:53,340 I've had sardines. 1540 01:28:53,340 --> 01:28:54,340 It wasn't that bad. 1541 01:28:54,340 --> 01:28:55,340 They got a little. 1542 01:28:55,340 --> 01:28:56,340 No, it was spicy as fuck though. 1543 01:28:56,340 --> 01:28:57,340 It was very spicy. 1544 01:28:57,340 --> 01:29:01,340 And let's be fair, that little bit of spicy that was on the sardine, JJ did a whole shot 1545 01:29:01,340 --> 01:29:02,340 of that same shit. 1546 01:29:02,340 --> 01:29:04,340 Mm, and he's still a pussy. 1547 01:29:04,340 --> 01:29:09,340 Have y'all ever eaten at the burger franchise, Big Boy? 1548 01:29:09,340 --> 01:29:10,340 No. 1549 01:29:10,340 --> 01:29:11,340 No? 1550 01:29:11,340 --> 01:29:12,340 Yeah. 1551 01:29:12,340 --> 01:29:14,340 Doesn't Dom look like a darker big boy? 1552 01:29:14,340 --> 01:29:18,340 I know what you're talking about, he actually does. 1553 01:29:18,340 --> 01:29:19,340 You ain't know what I'm talking about. 1554 01:29:19,340 --> 01:29:20,340 Dude, I know. 1555 01:29:20,340 --> 01:29:22,340 That dude, that hoes the doughnut. 1556 01:29:22,340 --> 01:29:23,340 It's a burger. 1557 01:29:23,340 --> 01:29:24,340 It's a burger. 1558 01:29:24,340 --> 01:29:27,340 I heard about him in the middle age and the men like Frank. 1559 01:29:27,340 --> 01:29:28,340 I see that. 1560 01:29:28,340 --> 01:29:31,340 You look like a Big Boy mascot that's just fucked. 1561 01:29:31,340 --> 01:29:32,340 What's up? 1562 01:29:32,340 --> 01:29:33,340 Drink some. 1563 01:29:33,340 --> 01:29:35,340 Oh, welcome to Seattle. 1564 01:29:35,340 --> 01:29:37,340 All right, let's spin this wheel. 1565 01:29:37,340 --> 01:29:38,340 Spin that motherfucker. 1566 01:29:38,340 --> 01:29:39,340 Take this out. 1567 01:29:39,340 --> 01:29:41,340 Give me Dom, give me Dom, give me Dom, give me Dom. 1568 01:29:41,340 --> 01:29:42,340 It's JJ. 1569 01:29:42,340 --> 01:29:45,340 Okay, give me Dom, give me Dom, give me Dom. 1570 01:29:45,340 --> 01:29:46,340 It's JJ again. 1571 01:29:46,340 --> 01:29:50,340 God, where did y'all get JJ that fucked him up? 1572 01:29:50,340 --> 01:29:52,340 What did he say? 1573 01:29:52,340 --> 01:29:53,340 Dom, Dom, Dom. 1574 01:29:53,340 --> 01:29:54,340 It's Dom. 1575 01:29:54,340 --> 01:29:58,340 You still got that onion over there? 1576 01:29:58,340 --> 01:30:01,340 I wanted to try it. 1577 01:30:01,340 --> 01:30:04,340 Ooh. 1578 01:30:04,340 --> 01:30:13,340 Oh, I gotta stay here? 1579 01:30:13,340 --> 01:30:20,340 No, I ain't giving him shit. 1580 01:30:20,340 --> 01:30:21,340 He's charging by the pound. 1581 01:30:21,340 --> 01:30:22,340 Let's do it. 1582 01:30:22,340 --> 01:30:40,340 Oh. 1583 01:30:40,340 --> 01:30:55,340 Keep going. 1584 01:30:55,340 --> 01:30:57,340 You got 30 seconds. 1585 01:30:57,340 --> 01:30:58,340 You got 30 seconds. 1586 01:30:58,340 --> 01:31:03,340 Can somebody get a video of this to send to the VA? 1587 01:31:03,340 --> 01:31:04,340 Who hit us 37? 1588 01:31:04,340 --> 01:31:06,340 I got bats. 1589 01:31:06,340 --> 01:31:10,340 Okay, just do one of these, like make it jiggle a little bit. 1590 01:31:10,340 --> 01:31:11,340 Come on. 1591 01:31:11,340 --> 01:31:12,340 You know I ain't got no ass. 1592 01:31:12,340 --> 01:31:13,340 Shake it. 1593 01:31:13,340 --> 01:31:14,340 Shake them little hand puppets. 1594 01:31:14,340 --> 01:31:20,340 Give it up and down, ladies and gentlemen. 1595 01:31:20,340 --> 01:31:22,340 Thank you guys so much for coming out. 1596 01:31:22,340 --> 01:31:26,340 Make sure you give it up for one time for a shenanigans, Kim and Jessica, for putting 1597 01:31:26,340 --> 01:31:27,340 all this on. 1598 01:31:27,340 --> 01:31:28,340 I'm letting them do it. 1599 01:31:28,340 --> 01:31:31,340 This show is for you guys. 1600 01:31:31,340 --> 01:31:35,340 And if you want, they got a tip bucket right back there in the corner, right in front of 1601 01:31:35,340 --> 01:31:36,340 the exit sign. 1602 01:31:36,340 --> 01:31:39,340 It's the blue thing that says pit on it. 1603 01:31:39,340 --> 01:31:41,340 If you guys want a tip. 1604 01:31:41,340 --> 01:31:43,340 And you got anything else, Kim? 1605 01:31:43,340 --> 01:31:45,340 Well, you've got to give away a hundred dogs. 1606 01:31:45,340 --> 01:31:46,340 Oh, yeah. 1607 01:31:46,340 --> 01:31:47,340 Oh, yeah. 1608 01:31:47,340 --> 01:31:48,340 Hold on. 1609 01:31:48,340 --> 01:31:49,340 They're trying to get a hundred. 1610 01:31:49,340 --> 01:31:50,340 I forgot all about that, Kim. 1611 01:31:50,340 --> 01:31:51,340 JJ has some money too. 1612 01:31:51,340 --> 01:31:52,340 He's got a lot. 1613 01:31:52,340 --> 01:31:53,340 We'll get it. 1614 01:31:53,340 --> 01:31:58,340 All right, well, I think they're going to confer. 1615 01:31:58,340 --> 01:32:01,340 They're going to come up with their top three and then those three people will come up to 1616 01:32:01,340 --> 01:32:06,340 the stage and you, the audience, will decide which of those three gets the hundred bucks. 1617 01:32:06,340 --> 01:32:07,340 Get her, bro. 1618 01:32:07,340 --> 01:32:08,340 While they're doing this, we also will be giving away some free tickets to come back 1619 01:32:08,340 --> 01:32:09,340 to shenanigans in just a few minutes. 1620 01:32:09,340 --> 01:32:10,340 So make sure that you have those free tickets handy. 1621 01:32:10,340 --> 01:32:32,340 Okay, so we got the top three. 1622 01:32:32,340 --> 01:32:33,340 Can you come up? 1623 01:32:33,340 --> 01:32:34,340 We got Ogre. 1624 01:32:34,340 --> 01:32:42,340 And the top three. 1625 01:32:42,340 --> 01:32:47,340 And the top three. 1626 01:32:47,340 --> 01:32:48,340 All right, now. 1627 01:32:48,340 --> 01:32:58,340 It's going to be up to you guys to cheer the loudest for the one that you want to walk 1628 01:32:58,340 --> 01:32:59,340 away with a hundred bucks. 1629 01:32:59,340 --> 01:33:00,340 So I'm going to raise my hand over their head. 1630 01:33:00,340 --> 01:33:01,340 And if you think they're the funniest, cheer. 1631 01:33:01,340 --> 01:33:05,340 Cheer for only the person that you think is the funniest. 1632 01:33:05,340 --> 01:33:10,340 The first, Ogre. 1633 01:33:10,340 --> 01:33:13,340 Reina. 1634 01:33:13,340 --> 01:33:17,340 Safa. 1635 01:33:17,340 --> 01:33:25,340 And the winner is Safa. 1636 01:33:25,340 --> 01:33:31,340 And now give it up for all the Thomas you've seen for the Proud College Comedy Podcast. 1637 01:33:31,340 --> 01:34:00,340 Please like and subscribe on YouTube to the show. 1638 01:34:01,340 --> 01:34:03,340 And we'll see you next time.