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This week on Clown College.

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All right, bud, this is funny.

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So I cover my ears and I'm like, hey, this is great.

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And the monkey is literally like trying to pull my fingers off of my ear.

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He's like mad that I've covered my ear.

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And I'm like, this is kind of funny.

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That's great.

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You know, and everybody's laughing.

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We're having a good time at that point.

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And then the monkey grabs the front of my shirt like this with one hand, puts his feet

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here.

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So he's like hanging in front of me, like right here.

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He's got a hold of my shirt and he's like hanging and he's just staring at me.

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And I'm like, Hey man, I think you should come get your monkey.

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Probably like this is not fun anymore.

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And I like closed my eyes and like, Hey man, get your monkey off of me.

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And the monkey fucking pimp slaps me.

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And I was like, bam.

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I was like, what?

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Did I just get slapped?

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I should probably kill the monkey right now.

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You know?

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And he was like, he slapped me in there.

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He's looking like that.

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Oh my gosh.

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Thanks for the flashbacks, dude.

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Oh, fuck.

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Yeah, the one on the right, he's looking dead at me and slapped me multiple times.

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Welcome to clown college.

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We have profound knowledge in many ways to elevate and make your sound polished.

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So if you want to hear a little honest, you take song aways and make it as a comic.

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Stick around for a while to be down to clown.

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We got the guests right now just to show you how.

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Let's all go to college.

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It's with Brandon.

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Let's all go to college.

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It's with Brandon.

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It's with Brandon.

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How we sound?

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How we sound?

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Sound fresh.

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Like your haircut, man.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Just got out the barber chair.

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You just got out the barber chair.

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I like it.

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Do y'all play stuff?

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Oh, so I mean sometimes I do a little.

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You got that.

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You got that.

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You don't have to wear it.

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And then we got this, but we never use that.

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We never use that.

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Too damn long.

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Too long.

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No, please use it.

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Just randomly hit it and we'll go, and we're back.

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I don't know, okay.

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Hell yeah.

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What's up?

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How y'all doing?

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Man, I feel good.

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Have we started?

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Well, I don't know, but we got a special guest here, don't we?

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Oh, here we go.

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We do have a very special guest today.

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And sometimes we say we have a special guest and they really aren't shit.

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I know you had David Lyon on one side.

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You're like special guest.

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I was like, eh, not that special.

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We got a real special guest on today.

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A fucking local legend.

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You can see him on productions like The Tonight Show, which sounds insane to say.

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You can catch him every weekday morning on Zimbo and Casio in the morning on Rocket 95.1.

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Or you could have catched him at Gadsden Community College, man.

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Any of those things.

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Only for a few semesters.

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We got the Casio Kid in today.

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Yeah!

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Get my theme music.

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Oh, I've got you.

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And we're back.

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In the middle of my intro, we had a commercial break.

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Hey, thank you for coming.

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What's up, fellas?

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Thanks for having me, man.

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This is an honor to be here.

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Shit, it's an honor for us.

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You are the first celebrity that we have on here.

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And we're very excited about it.

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Whoa, that's sad.

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That I'm a celebrity.

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You're massive.

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I told you this before, like one of my friends was like.

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Alright, that's a fat joke.

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Hit that noise again.

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Oh, this one.

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Every time there's a fat joke, I get a fat thing.

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And we're back here at the Clown College Podcast.

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That's actually Casio's shirt playing that song.

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Oh yeah, you know we got another song too, right?

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This is so big it was made out of real jungle.

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Hey, yo!

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I should do that myself.

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Hell yeah.

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I need all the help I can get.

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Oh, dog, dude, you're a beast to stand up.

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I think in the first showcase I did at Stand Up Live, you were the feature on there.

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And man, you blew that fucking crowd back.

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Well, first of all, thank you.

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You're a monster, dude.

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Thank you.

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Not a good writer, but I have fun on stage.

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It's effortlessly.

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I'm a real bad comedy writer.

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What?

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Like the worst probably ever.

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No, no you're not.

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Yeah, anything you've heard me do, I've never wrote down.

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Really?

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Really?

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You just came off.

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I've tried to do better in the last couple years with notes and I'll keep a headline

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or a thing I thought was funny.

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And then sometimes I go back and look at it and I'm like, well, I don't know what that meant.

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I must have been inebriated when I typed that in.

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But I'm not the guy that's got notebooks and I'm keeping recording stuff.

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And that's also why my career has brought me here to the Clown College of Wildcats and

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not somewhere else.

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But yeah, that's not my mindset.

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My mind can't work that way.

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I figured out in high school how to, I was just intelligent enough to take the test and

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get a C and pass.

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So I was like, so I don't have to do homework?

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This rules.

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Yeah, but you need better grades.

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For what really though?

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Like for what?

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We all know I'm not going far or getting a real job.

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What am I going to need bad for?

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No, I mean, yes, probably.

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Wait, what do we do?

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What test?

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We had 120 people in my graduating class and I graduated number 60.

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That's where you want to be.

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That's exactly where I wanted to be.

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That's where you want to be.

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That's the top of the bill.

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Yeah.

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I was like, cool with the dumb kids.

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Cool with the smart kids.

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You know what I mean?

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For the smart kids, I was like the edgy guy.

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He got a D on his report card.

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He's a bad boy.

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And then for everybody else that I got to see, they were like, my man's smart.

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He's got it.

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He's got it.

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He's funny and cool and he's got smarts too.

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Triple threat, dude.

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Yeah.

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I was a triple threat.

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So you're in radio.

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I listen to your show every morning from the time I get into work until 10 o'clock with

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you and Jimbo.

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But did you before you knew me?

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You didn't.

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No, no, yes.

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Okay.

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I did.

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Because I don't think young people listen to radio.

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It surprises me.

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Well, I would go to the gym in the morning up in Ardmore and they'd be playing it in the

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morning.

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I could never figure out how to change a channel.

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I listen to it every morning.

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He's like, I'd really like to play my playlist right now.

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I've got these goobs on the air.

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I listen to radio too, but it's much older.

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Before our time, in the 30s, I look on YouTube and then sometimes like GTA radio.

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And then maybe I listen to the car.

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So you go to YouTube and type in 1930s radio and just let a six hour video play?

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Sometimes I listen.

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What's that dude's name?

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He was an old comedian.

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His name was, what was it, Jack Benny?

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And then he had what?

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The male Blanc.

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That's what I listen to a lot.

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That's right.

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The male LeBlanc.

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He did all the cartoons.

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Yep.

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He did Bugs Bunny, Daffy, Sly Vester.

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You're going back to listen to him?

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Yeah.

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Sly Vester.

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How do you say it?

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Sly Vester?

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That was a janitor in my high school that got fired for inappropriate manager.

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Was Sly Vester.

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Sly Vester the molester, that's what we called him in high school.

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Sly Vester.

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Oh shit.

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He brought him up on the screen.

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Yeah.

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It'd be great if he did a million voices and none of them were Sly Vester.

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Look at his IMDB.

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I don't see Sylvester.

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Oh, there he is.

211
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Top right.

212
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Unless he does Tweety, but I think that's Sly Vester.

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Oh shit, he dead friend.

214
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Oh, watch that last night.

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He's a Jim Cassidy.

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Man, I've never made it until some random podcast is looking through my resume and they go,

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oh shit, he did friend.

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Like, there's only Fred Flintstone and I don't know, Fred Savage, what's another famous friend?

219
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John Cena's son, Fred.

220
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What the fuck is that?

221
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You've never seen the Fred movie?

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That's a deep gut.

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Oh, fuck.

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Yeah, Fred Figglehorn, dude.

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Produced by Dan Schneider.

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Fred.

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This is in 2011, his prime days, man.

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2010, fuck, close.

229
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This is a movie?

230
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Man, that took no time for us nerds to get to wrestling.

231
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Dude, Fred, this is a crazy fact.

232
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He was the first person ever to hit a million subscribers on YouTube.

233
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What the fuck out of it?

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Boy, is that real?

235
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Yeah.

236
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Oh, yeah.

237
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Really?

238
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Yeah.

239
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He was the guy with the high-pitched voice that was just behind the scenes.

240
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His whole gimmick was just a voice filter that made him sound super high-pitched.

241
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Wow.

242
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He won I Carly?

243
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I mean, I remember this, the wrestling aspect of it, but I didn't know it was the first

244
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million dollar subscribe.

245
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That's crazy.

246
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Oh, so he was doing this before he made the movie.

247
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Yeah.

248
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And then he made the movie out of that.

249
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Yeah, that's what got him to that.

250
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Oh, okay.

251
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He was the first one of those guys to do that.

252
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But isn't that genius for both companies?

253
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Nobody give them credit, but that's WWE's thing on the pulse of what are kids doing?

254
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What are...

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If you watch wrestling now, the majority of it, it ain't for us.

256
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We're adults.

257
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It's for kids and teenagers.

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Because when you think, man, what's the greatest era of your wrestling fandom?

259
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It ain't now.

260
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No.

261
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,080
It's when you're a kid or a teenager.

262
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,080
Ruthless aggression, more attitude era, golden era.

263
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Right.

264
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You were a kid.

265
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That's exactly who they're marketing to, which is why they are bigger and better than ever.

266
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:18,080
And all the adults are like, man, y'all don't know what it was like in 97.

267
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,080
Guess what kids don't care what it was like in 97.

268
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,080
But I will say...

269
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,080
They go, we got Roman Damrae.

270
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,080
Exactly.

271
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,080
The best champion ever.

272
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,080
I mean, really, that's what they think.

273
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,080
He was.

274
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,080
But in our day, we had bra and panty matches.

275
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,080
Come on.

276
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,080
That was for kids.

277
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,080
No, our era was clearly the best era.

278
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,080
I'm just saying, Mike.

279
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:45,080
There's no kid born now where they've been from five to 10 and their only champion was

280
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,080
Roman Reigns.

281
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:52,080
They're never going to be like, man, I wish we had bra and panty matches.

282
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,080
Dude, we had Roman Reigns.

283
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,080
He was the champ for five or whatever.

284
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,080
How long he's been...

285
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,080
I forgot how many.

286
00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,080
It's a different...

287
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,080
It ain't made for us.

288
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,080
We don't need bra and panty matches.

289
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,080
We got to see Seth Rollins dick on the internet.

290
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,080
Dude, what?

291
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,080
Are you serious?

292
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,080
Yes, man.

293
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,080
Look it up.

294
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,080
Let me see it.

295
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,080
I didn't know that was out there.

296
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,080
I didn't either.

297
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,080
I knew Paige was out there.

298
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,080
That's what got me into wrestling.

299
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,080
I knew Paige and exec...

300
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,080
Oh, nicely done.

301
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:25,080
I knew Paige with Xavier Woods was out there.

302
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,080
I've seen those.

303
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,080
She had all of them.

304
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,080
Kaitlyn, you remember Kaitlyn too?

305
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,080
What's that?

306
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,080
Kaitlyn?

307
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,080
Remember Kaitlyn?

308
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,080
Wow, she worked at CVS?

309
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,080
You remember Kaitlyn at CVS?

310
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,080
I saw her naked one time.

311
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,080
It's just random.

312
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,080
It's more her.

313
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,080
You all remember Sarah at Captain D's?

314
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,080
She's screaming cracklings and getting naked.

315
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,080
It was a hot time.

316
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,080
Yeah, her when she used to go against AJ Lee a lot.

317
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,080
Yeah, she was a hot time.

318
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,080
I remember her.

319
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,080
I remember her.

320
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,080
I remember her.

321
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,080
I remember her.

322
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,080
I remember her.

323
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,080
I remember her.

324
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,080
I remember her.

325
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,080
I remember her.

326
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,080
She was naked a lot.

327
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,080
Yeah.

328
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,260
No, I don't, but I would like to...

329
00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:55,260
2014.

330
00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:56,260
I wish I would.

331
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:57,480
What about it though, Brandon?

332
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,560
Oh, well, back in the day, you know, I was young.

333
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,560
She had a porn scene.

334
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,560
I checked it out.

335
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:02,560
She had an actual porn scene?

336
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:03,560
Oh yeah, she made her own.

337
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:04,560
She walked in like this.

338
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:05,560
Just leave that tab open.

339
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:06,560
I got you, man.

340
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,560
Trust me.

341
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:08,560
Back in the day.

342
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:09,560
She had her own porn scene?

343
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:10,560
Yes, yes, she did.

344
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,360
Or what they call the leak, but it's all over everything.

345
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,160
Now you get on Pornhub, Xt Hamster.

346
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,160
Yeah, I know how leak works.

347
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,160
Thank you for telling me that, Brandon.

348
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,160
Here's my...

349
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,140
Brandon here's what happens when you're porn late

350
00:13:23,780 --> 00:13:28,780
Yeah, yeah one night oh she's did a interview of Bleacher report

351
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:35,540
Drugs were involved. That's not good. Well, you know, what's your the best? Yeah, right there isn't that every porn though?

352
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:37,760
Oh, that's you wanting her to die. Damn

353
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:41,680
Well, I'm gonna tell you this she's hot. I don't remember

354
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:50,200
I've never heard of that one right below that one that you got highlighted right here to the right

355
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,480
Was that it the straight-tail speakeasy

356
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,480
I

357
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:15,440
Do you do wrestling like a podcast with a wrestler one of the greatest wrestlers and me and Brandon's

358
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,840
Hang on. Hang on. Okay, so you do know the new one. All right nice

359
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,640
I've done a bunch of wrestling podcasts. Yes. Currently I have

360
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:33,060
Three consistent wrestling podcasts. I have a we just started Papa Shango

361
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,840
Godfather Papa Shango, whatever you want to call him. Oh my god

362
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,240
Yeah, man

363
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,540
Oh shit, I just knew him as a godfather get on the train

364
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,540
Oh

365
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,900
Former owner of the cheetah strip club in Las Vegas

366
00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:59,380
My man's seen some things

367
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:05,300
He met Undertaker on a biker bar when he was just a biker. What? Yeah

368
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:11,700
He played football at the University of Nevada and then he started bouncing at strip clubs in California in California

369
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,060
and

370
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:16,440
Through some other things fast forward

371
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,440
Listen to the podcast. Yeah

372
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,800
He met Undertaker, you know Undertaker is a big biker

373
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:29,960
He's a biker and they met and he was like you should check out wrestling because you look intimidating

374
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,160
He listened to rock music had a mohawk

375
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:39,520
Had the sleeve tattoo. This is you know way before sleeve tattoos are even popular considered. Yeah

376
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,300
So when that guy walks in you're like now imagine with a mohawk

377
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:48,820
He's about six seven on three hundred, you know, Jesus. Yeah, it's a big dude

378
00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:51,620
big dude

379
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:55,340
Did he play football before that play football University of Nevada?

380
00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:58,860
Okay, yeah, yeah your University of Nevada

381
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:04,780
He played your guys are never gonna believe this. He played football at the University of Nevada

382
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:12,780
Look at him. Oh, yeah, he comma he came back

383
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:14,780
With the nation of domination

384
00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:16,780
Oh

385
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:20,660
Let me do that domination that was when UFC was popping off

386
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,180
so nation of domination was

387
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:30,460
Ron Simmons D Lowe the rock eventually came in there. They brought other that they brought comma and I was in there

388
00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:36,020
Yeah, oh, yeah, D. Louis that do it. He had like that. So they would deal is the best dude

389
00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:41,500
Yeah, so he came as comma like the ultimate fighting machine because

390
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:47,980
UFC was popping off. Mm-hmm. So they're like, how can we tie these UFC fans in so he came in like this

391
00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:54,300
And when he comes in at solid six six six seven three hundred like yeah, my dude can fight

392
00:16:56,700 --> 00:17:00,620
Yeah, just an incredible career of somebody who was not into wrestling

393
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:05,180
And of all people the undertaker tells you to get into wrestling. You're like

394
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:08,140
Well, he's pretty good

395
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:12,300
He's pretty good. I mean he wasn't at the time but just like, you know

396
00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:16,940
He was way way ahead of where he was at the time. Oh, so he's like, yeah, okay

397
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:22,780
He seemed cool. We're at the biker bar together. Whatever and he's one of the only people to get uh, undertake at a break

398
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,140
Yeah

399
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:27,980
Yeah, you remember that when he's talking about the whole wrong one. That's kamala. That's kamala

400
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:35,260
He'd be hitting his belly. Yeah, not damn. I didn't know she was in the ww. Yeah

401
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:43,660
You know, that's undertake a burn right there. Yes, I do once a month the godfather just started that. Um

402
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:48,860
I don't know when this comes out but the second episode of that will probably drop by the time. This is out

403
00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:50,940
I just recorded it and uh

404
00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:55,180
Then every other week I alternate with uh former wrestling referees. I do uh

405
00:17:55,180 --> 00:18:01,660
A guy that was with wwe his whole career mike kiyota who um was the rocks personal referee

406
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,540
Um, he did a bunch with

407
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,980
He some of your biggest matches you've ever seen he was a referee

408
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,260
Chioda I should let you keep going

409
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:16,860
What we would have got oh, I have there you go, okay, that's a good picture

410
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:20,860
When hulkster his like one of his he's been in literally

411
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,500
some of the biggest matches in wrestling history, but

412
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:29,900
One of his iconic moments is rock and hogan when they did the face-off and started looking around at the crowd

413
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:35,740
They didn't like wrestle for like 10 minutes like they're just soaking in the crowd but

414
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:41,020
Rock hogan staredown. He's standing there in the ring. He's in the background

415
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:45,180
He was the ref for that match that brings back so many memories right there

416
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:49,980
Good time go right below the one you got highlighted. Let's see if you get it this time

417
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:52,940
Yeah

418
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:54,940
Oh, he's blocked his kiyota's face

419
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:59,340
It's right there on two to the left two to the left two to the left

420
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,540
There you go. Ah, yeah

421
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:07,180
Kiyota, uh, yeah, he uh, he was in wwe his career

422
00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:09,500
um

423
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,500
And uh, just a great dude, man

424
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,220
Um from jersey lives in florida now

425
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:19,340
He's a steelers fan. Oh, okay jack. I'm in there. I knew somebody was here

426
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,100
um

427
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:23,420
And so we do a mailbag every other week

428
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:26,780
Uh, so people all I do is ask questions of

429
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:32,300
If I see something in the news kind of but mostly it's just people that watch the podcast any questions

430
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:36,620
And then on the weeks he does it every two weeks and then the weeks he's not

431
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,260
I do it with another referee

432
00:19:39,580 --> 00:19:46,620
Uh, which was nick patrick who uh, his famous moment was in wcw. He was the nwo hill ref

433
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:49,340
Where he ref the entire pay-per-view

434
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:54,540
When the nwo won every match because he was their own personal ref. Yeah

435
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:58,940
Uh, oh a lot of people say he looked like kenny powers back in the day

436
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,620
He had a next level mullet for a while. He was an astronaut

437
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,500
Look at that. That's kenny power

438
00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:11,420
Oh nicklas patrick. Yeah to the right. Yeah, that was kenny powers mullet time. Oh my gosh

439
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,540
um

440
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:19,980
His dad was assassin number one. His dad was the assassin which is a wrestling legend

441
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:24,220
Uh in the territory days and he started deep south wrestling which for a while

442
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:32,220
If you ever heard of ovw, which is the feeder into uh, wwe deep south was their train nxt is what it is now

443
00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:36,460
Okay. Okay. I know it's deep south was that before they developed their own

444
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,580
Yeah, that was his dad. Hell the assassin

445
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:43,740
um, and he had a long feud with um

446
00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:48,700
Um bullet bob armstrong, which is huge in the florida alabama territories

447
00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:51,340
Um, they had a huge rivalry

448
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:53,100
um

449
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:58,300
He was one of the great minds in wrestling. There you go. Let's get this one. Let's get one

450
00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:03,020
He was like an arm wrestling champion. It was like 60s. Uh, damn

451
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,980
Just in that was that there there they go

452
00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:10,220
There's uh, so his rival was the assassin

453
00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:18,380
And which was jody hamilton and the funny part is for a couple years. I got to do the podcast with road dog

454
00:21:19,260 --> 00:21:23,820
Uh, just shout out road dog. Yes, that's one of the greatest to ever do it. Hell. Yeah

455
00:21:25,260 --> 00:21:28,460
That's my name on call of duty. I just want everybody to know that there you go

456
00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:33,100
There's the dog can I get a help the new age outlaws? Um

457
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:37,500
Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls i'm not gonna go through the whole thing

458
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:42,780
Uh, so his dad was bullet barb armstrong. So he has a story

459
00:21:43,340 --> 00:21:45,580
One of my most fascinating stories talking to him

460
00:21:46,460 --> 00:21:48,220
Was when he was a kid

461
00:21:48,220 --> 00:21:49,820
Jody hamilton

462
00:21:49,820 --> 00:21:54,300
Is the assassin and he's seeing him like do these tv promos where he would like

463
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:59,260
Take an eight by ten of his dad put on the tree and then walk down and shoot it with his gun

464
00:21:59,660 --> 00:22:01,820
And be like you're next bullet barb armstrong

465
00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:04,220
and then like

466
00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:08,700
Three days later that dude's in his kitchen eating dinner because they're friends, you know, and he's like

467
00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:11,420
That dude wants to kill dad

468
00:22:16,940 --> 00:22:18,940
Man you talk about a guy

469
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:21,900
That capitalized on the moment

470
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:26,140
everything that was this ruthless aggression era this dx this

471
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:29,180
this era of

472
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:31,340
Chaos him and billy gun, of course

473
00:22:31,340 --> 00:22:34,060
Bad a new age outlaws. Oh my god

474
00:22:35,340 --> 00:22:41,740
You're gonna better pick. Uh, this is my favorite. Look at that tag team of all time. Not even close

475
00:22:42,140 --> 00:22:45,420
Road dog jesse james and billy badass dude

476
00:22:46,380 --> 00:22:49,020
When they came out their whole their whole

477
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:56,860
Their whole intro was sang by everyone in the crowd like if you go watch old pay-per-views

478
00:22:56,860 --> 00:22:58,860
That'll be in the middle of a pay-per-view

479
00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:04,060
But i'll tell you this when they came out there was no bigger pop like the crowds losing their mind

480
00:23:04,540 --> 00:23:10,540
Doing the whole thing they get to the end and if you ain't down with that we got two words for you suck it

481
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:11,900
like

482
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:14,380
Dude, how many of us are doing that to our teachers?

483
00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:18,060
Yeah, that's because of these dudes

484
00:23:19,020 --> 00:23:23,100
and then when I get a call from him and he's like are you interested in podcasts you're like

485
00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:25,980
What's going on with my life right now?

486
00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:30,300
Like is this if I could write a letter to my young self i'll be like this is weird

487
00:23:32,860 --> 00:23:35,100
Yeah, man being in the wrestling space has been

488
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:40,940
Fantastic. It's a really tight circle to get into but once you get in it's like the comic circle

489
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:45,820
You get in to stand up, you know everybody you're trying to be polite and then you start meeting people

490
00:23:45,820 --> 00:23:52,460
You can really hang with and like even if we'd go to a show, which is awful, we're sure gonna have a good hang

491
00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:59,500
That's what you kind of start, you know, the circle starts tightening. Yeah, that doesn't mean anybody they're not they don't mean they're not funny

492
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:01,500
They're not good people

493
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:05,180
But like these dudes even without comedy we can hang kind of like the podcast here

494
00:24:05,340 --> 00:24:07,580
Yeah, like we're doing the podcast because we like to hang

495
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:10,380
Like regardless of anything else

496
00:24:11,020 --> 00:24:12,300
So you get this

497
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:15,260
It's kind of like the wrestling clique like if you're in you're in

498
00:24:15,820 --> 00:24:17,580
But it's really hard

499
00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:21,260
You got to get in our circle. You know what I mean? Like it's you got to get it though

500
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:27,420
Yeah, we you got to earn it. You're not just we're not taking everybody. You might be a good dude. We might work with you

501
00:24:27,420 --> 00:24:33,420
We have no problems. We don't hate you, but you're not in the circle. Yeah, you're not in our circle. You can find your own circle

502
00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:38,300
You know nwo had their own circle the clique they had their own circle at first

503
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:45,820
BSK was papa shango and undertaker and rakishi and yoko. Yeah, yoko. Oh, I didn't know about this

504
00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:50,860
Was in there they were bsk the bone street killers because they would play dominoes. They play bones

505
00:24:51,340 --> 00:24:54,780
So they were the bone street killers. So they started bsk. So it was taker

506
00:24:55,580 --> 00:24:57,580
rakishi yoko

507
00:24:58,300 --> 00:24:59,900
Papa shango

508
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:01,900
Spelled it wrong. Hold up a couple others

509
00:25:03,180 --> 00:25:05,180
Bs

510
00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:13,660
It's not even there we go look at that you got you got good one right there sabio vega hell yeah, yeah sabio

511
00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:21,020
Yeah, all the good one boys. Are we just gonna skip over the fact brendan misspelled bsk and spelled bsw

512
00:25:27,180 --> 00:25:29,180
I clicked it too

513
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:34,700
That that is a beetle juice monkey

514
00:25:35,740 --> 00:25:40,860
Hey, look at that one. Uh blow it to the second line left right here next one this

515
00:25:40,860 --> 00:25:44,220
To the left. Oh, yeah, i'm tripping. Oh, yeah

516
00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:49,280
That's in the back of undertaker's bus. Look at that. Oh shit triple h briscoe

517
00:25:49,820 --> 00:25:55,260
Sean michaels. That's my paul bearer. It's got hall the godlands stone coat

518
00:25:55,740 --> 00:26:01,740
Look at that man razor remond imagine being in that bus at that time, dude. That's some shit the partying that they did

519
00:26:01,820 --> 00:26:06,220
You're getting drunk as hell. Oh god. I mean there's a there's a little of you

520
00:26:06,220 --> 00:26:09,100
You're like, I mean they can't have more fun than we did at don's house

521
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:13,020
I mean, that's real like we're having a good time. It's a good time

522
00:26:13,420 --> 00:26:17,180
But you're like also like yeah, they they probably had a better time than us

523
00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:22,700
I don't know what they did, but they did something that was probably better than us

524
00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:29,180
But they're back there playing dominoes. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Just having a fucking ball of a time. Oh, look at that one down

525
00:26:29,980 --> 00:26:34,140
Below the main picture you got to the right to the right to the right to the right right

526
00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:36,860
To the right down the main pitch

527
00:26:36,860 --> 00:26:43,180
The main oh take your papa. Yeah that right to the left. Okay, right. Yeah, there we go. Gotcha. Look at this godfather and

528
00:26:43,740 --> 00:26:48,540
Oh my god, dude. Oh man, imagine them dudes walking in your bar, bro. Shit

529
00:26:49,340 --> 00:26:51,740
Excuse me. Uh, excuse me, sir. I didn't mean to get in your way

530
00:26:52,780 --> 00:26:55,740
Like he says we just got into our second episode, uh

531
00:26:55,740 --> 00:27:01,180
Where he made his debut as papa shango when he missed his cue on a pay-per-view. He's supposed to go out. It was uh,

532
00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:03,740
hogan and

533
00:27:03,740 --> 00:27:06,700
Was that survivor's hand that could be wrong on the second one?

534
00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:09,580
hogan and um

535
00:27:09,580 --> 00:27:10,540
sid

536
00:27:10,540 --> 00:27:14,860
Sid yes, it justice said vicious whatever you want to call it. Psycho said

537
00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:17,820
They just wanted to give him a push so they're like hey

538
00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:21,340
They're gonna have their match and then you run out and interfere and it's gonna be dq

539
00:27:21,580 --> 00:27:25,500
but that'll like make you as like the guy who interfered like

540
00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:28,780
He did some small shit, but this is like

541
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:35,820
Big time. This is the the main event of a pay-per-view. Yeah, you get on there with hogan and he's back there ready to go. He's like

542
00:27:36,620 --> 00:27:39,980
Y'all tell me when to run. They're in indianapolis where the colts play

543
00:27:40,780 --> 00:27:44,780
So it's a long run dude, and he's like y'all just tell me when to go

544
00:27:45,420 --> 00:27:49,020
And by the time they tell him when to go it's too late in the real-time match

545
00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:52,700
So by the time he gets there the damn match is over like

546
00:27:53,260 --> 00:27:55,980
He was supposed to interfere. He didn't get there in time

547
00:27:55,980 --> 00:28:00,780
So see it had to kick out on his own and then they bumped that like they do a halt they have to

548
00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:06,860
Change everything on the fly and then by the time he gets here. He still does stuff, but it's like wait

549
00:28:06,860 --> 00:28:09,500
What are you doing here at the time? Everybody's like

550
00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:13,900
What's he doing here after the match? You know what I mean? Like something's wrong here

551
00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:18,700
and like nerd wrestling fans and I say that with love because

552
00:28:19,420 --> 00:28:22,220
I'm not a nerd. I'm a nerd wrestling fan. Not just a smart one

553
00:28:22,220 --> 00:28:27,340
Like I don't know any of the history as much as I need to and as much as everybody thinks but i'm a wrestling fan

554
00:28:27,980 --> 00:28:29,580
but

555
00:28:29,580 --> 00:28:32,700
Everybody who paid attention that went yeah, he misses mark

556
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:35,740
He should have been in there. They talked about now

557
00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:38,860
And then I got a chance to sit down with him on our podcast

558
00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:42,700
The second episode and we go month by month his whole career

559
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:46,620
So we're just in the second month of his career and he's making his debut on a pay-per-view on

560
00:28:47,180 --> 00:28:49,180
with hogan and sid justin

561
00:28:49,180 --> 00:28:51,980
and he's like I was like dude

562
00:28:52,460 --> 00:28:56,220
Who talked to you first like when you went back who was like hey, man, you fucked up

563
00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,860
Like who was the first guy?

564
00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:00,860
Somebody looked at you and was like

565
00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:04,220
It's all right, dude. We'll figure it out. But you fucked you man. He was like

566
00:29:04,940 --> 00:29:07,500
Not one person ever talked to him about it my entire life

567
00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:09,580
until fans

568
00:29:09,580 --> 00:29:14,540
Oh shit, so they were like it worked it worked but it worked but also you

569
00:29:15,580 --> 00:29:17,580
People don't realize that

570
00:29:17,580 --> 00:29:19,580
People don't realize

571
00:29:20,140 --> 00:29:27,340
They have live television two times a week live true not recorded. So whatever your favorite show is it's recorded

572
00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:34,940
They have two live shows now nxt3 have three live shows they have to write for a week

573
00:29:36,380 --> 00:29:38,380
It's live

574
00:29:38,540 --> 00:29:42,700
So if you trip and fall and you're supposed to be the badass we have to adapt now

575
00:29:43,580 --> 00:29:46,140
And then pivot everything we've had written

576
00:29:46,140 --> 00:29:48,940
Of you're the badass you've tripped and fell

577
00:29:49,820 --> 00:29:55,020
We have to scrap that throw in the trash and figure out how to get to where we're gonna go with you tripping now

578
00:29:55,180 --> 00:30:00,860
That's like think about how hard so like people like criticize wrestling writers and like oh that was stupid

579
00:30:00,860 --> 00:30:03,100
Like you don't know what they originally had

580
00:30:03,740 --> 00:30:08,620
Now look one it could have been stupid. I'm not saying that but i'm saying you don't know what they

581
00:30:09,180 --> 00:30:11,980
Hey, we had this plan and dude got hurt

582
00:30:11,980 --> 00:30:17,820
Mm-hmm the snowball effect this was supposed to happen, but she got pregnant like yeah, it's just getting out of control

583
00:30:17,980 --> 00:30:22,060
What oh what the fuck you laughing about? I like dom trying to use big words

584
00:30:24,140 --> 00:30:26,140
I thought he's trying to get me to blow and I was like

585
00:30:27,020 --> 00:30:30,540
Let's wait till the podcast is over bro. We're watching preseason

586
00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:33,500
We don't even do a blow at two o'clock

587
00:30:34,540 --> 00:30:36,540
Have you got it?

588
00:30:37,980 --> 00:30:39,980
Sorry, I went long on wrestling

589
00:30:39,980 --> 00:30:44,140
I think y'all opened the door and we had to go. Oh, no, I do currently three

590
00:30:44,780 --> 00:30:52,000
Constant wrestling podcast and then I do all those are under the ad free shows umbrella shameless plug go to adfreeshows.com

591
00:30:52,460 --> 00:30:54,460
Uh, we have our patreon there

592
00:30:55,340 --> 00:30:56,940
And I do

593
00:30:56,940 --> 00:30:59,580
Besides those I do random one-off

594
00:31:00,380 --> 00:31:04,940
Uh q and a's with either a special guest we've never had on or some of our regular hosts

595
00:31:04,940 --> 00:31:09,660
They do a monthly q and a and sometimes i'll host those I think uh

596
00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:15,340
Around this whenever it drops, but i'll be doing live q and a with eric bischoff

597
00:31:18,620 --> 00:31:20,780
Hell yeah, that was fantastic dude

598
00:31:21,660 --> 00:31:26,300
um, he's super great to talk to every time I get to hang out with him i'm just like

599
00:31:27,580 --> 00:31:29,580
Well one it's just so cool and he's just

600
00:31:29,580 --> 00:31:37,180
And he's a smart dude like period like but not wrestling. I mean he is but a broader thing of

601
00:31:38,300 --> 00:31:40,300
business just business in general

602
00:31:41,020 --> 00:31:44,140
Like anything you want to talk about business you can like hey

603
00:31:44,140 --> 00:31:48,620
Do you see so-and-so merged with so-and-so and he's like he's got like a whole page on it

604
00:31:49,180 --> 00:31:53,500
In his head you're like my man knows what's going down. Yeah, they'll put you on game

605
00:31:53,660 --> 00:31:59,260
So, of course, he's got his own podcast shameless plug 83 weeks, uh, which is check it out 83 weeks

606
00:31:59,260 --> 00:32:01,260
Is how long you beat wwf?

607
00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:03,900
in their prime when he

608
00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:09,340
Was there with wcw and the nwo popped off and it changed wrestling forever. It changed wrestling forever

609
00:32:09,820 --> 00:32:12,060
It's what a and w is trying to copy right now

610
00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:18,300
They're trying to they're trying to take over do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're the second biggest and they're trying to figure out how to

611
00:32:19,260 --> 00:32:23,500
Uh conquer the beast and they got close a couple times, especially early on they're not now

612
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:28,140
Uh, but they're a viable number two and I think it's good for the business for sure everybody

613
00:32:28,140 --> 00:32:30,140
I've known that's worked with

614
00:32:30,220 --> 00:32:32,220
Aew or in some kind of capacity

615
00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:38,300
Look, it's like comedy. I mean, it's another comedy club opening up. Yeah, we want more opportunities to work

616
00:32:38,780 --> 00:32:44,300
Hell, yeah, so whatever you want to say. Hey, it might not be our a rooms and our b rooms. They're already taken

617
00:32:44,940 --> 00:32:48,940
But for everybody else it's more opportunity to get out there and be seen

618
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:54,940
And then possibly get to those a and b rooms. Hey, I go headline over. I mean, you know ideas in comedy

619
00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:57,820
true first person to headline he's not going to be a

620
00:32:58,860 --> 00:33:05,340
Real comedy club like levity live in huntsville the start home in burma hamers amy's in nashville. They're not gonna be the first ones

621
00:33:05,500 --> 00:33:07,500
No, no, you're gonna go

622
00:33:08,140 --> 00:33:09,740
You're gonna commit

623
00:33:09,740 --> 00:33:13,340
Somebody's gonna go. Can you headline you're gonna like yep, and you can't headline

624
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:15,900
But you're like, yeah again

625
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:21,980
Because that's my opportunity and I want to take the check and close the show out and tell everybody I headline a room

626
00:33:22,060 --> 00:33:23,980
and that's gonna happen

627
00:33:23,980 --> 00:33:28,620
And realistically afterwards you like yeah, I just winged it for about 15 20 minutes

628
00:33:30,060 --> 00:33:33,980
And then you go somebody sees you there and go well if he's headlining he can headline my room

629
00:33:34,460 --> 00:33:38,300
He can headline my brewery and then you start doing those and then it's like

630
00:33:38,940 --> 00:33:44,300
Somebody sees you out somebody sees you at a club a club or b club and you feature for somebody and then they go

631
00:33:44,780 --> 00:33:50,140
Hey, you need to come back. We got a one-nighter or next time you come back with a celebrity you do wednesday and then you

632
00:33:50,140 --> 00:33:53,420
You feature for them thursday friday saturday. So it's like

633
00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:56,620
I want all the rooms to open they can open

634
00:33:57,180 --> 00:33:58,700
I've never been

635
00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:02,380
Hey, we got too many. We got too many people doing open mics. No, we don't

636
00:34:03,660 --> 00:34:09,180
Guess what? They're either successful or they're not. Yeah, and if they're successful means the commerce are going there and going

637
00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:13,580
Hey, i'm having a good time here. I'm learning here. I'm actually processing my work

638
00:34:14,460 --> 00:34:18,860
And then if it's not good whether it's politics whether it's the location and the venue

639
00:34:18,860 --> 00:34:25,900
Where they didn't give it enough love and promotion. There's a thousand things on that side. Oh god. Yes, but just on the bare minimum

640
00:34:26,460 --> 00:34:31,020
Somebody's opened up another open mic or hey this guy doesn't want the month show at his bar

641
00:34:31,260 --> 00:34:34,380
I'm all for it. It's more work for the rest of us

642
00:34:34,860 --> 00:34:40,780
More reps more times to be seen more times to build fan more times to work your material out

643
00:34:41,340 --> 00:34:46,780
And more than Mary that's a huge thing to work your material like now that we are over a year and a half

644
00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:52,700
You know still young in the game, but you got to start getting those 10 15 minute 20 minute sets

645
00:34:52,700 --> 00:34:57,500
Yeah to work all your stuff out to know how it's going to go whenever you're uh

646
00:34:58,060 --> 00:35:02,300
Doing your shit and the more opportunity you have to do that. Well get

647
00:35:03,020 --> 00:35:07,180
starting to um, you know do more stuff around the huntsville scene locally

648
00:35:08,060 --> 00:35:11,340
Um and getting them, you know, meet you guys and hang out with you guys

649
00:35:11,340 --> 00:35:17,580
Like I think a lot I think huntsville is a great comedy scene. I have I think there's a ton of great comics

650
00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:23,580
And then my my personal thing was talking to other people from outside of it

651
00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:27,900
How is it? And i'm like, well, it seems good. It's definitely a good hang

652
00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:34,380
Um, I hang with them. We do open mics. It's hard to tell with open mics. So that's why i'm starting to now

653
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:37,980
Start trying to work with as many people as I can

654
00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:39,900
on

655
00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:41,900
on

656
00:35:42,220 --> 00:35:46,300
Quote-unquote real shows where it's a paid audience to come to see comedy

657
00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:51,660
That's what I really mean. Not just an open mic or a quote-unquote showcase where it's really

658
00:35:52,540 --> 00:35:54,540
five of us open micers getting together

659
00:35:54,940 --> 00:35:55,980
but

660
00:35:55,980 --> 00:36:00,700
It's like I i've seen all of you do open mics. I've seen all of you bomb

661
00:36:01,180 --> 00:36:05,740
And this is me too. I've seen all of you smash. It doesn't mean anything in open a mic

662
00:36:05,980 --> 00:36:07,980
That doesn't mean you're a good or a bad comic

663
00:36:07,980 --> 00:36:13,180
Because open mics are not made to win. They're made to do my material

664
00:36:14,140 --> 00:36:17,020
I'm gonna like me like I told you I don't write anything

665
00:36:17,580 --> 00:36:23,580
so every open mic I do it at I want to try to spit out another tag or uh

666
00:36:24,540 --> 00:36:26,940
Hey, just do one more line. Whatever comes in your head

667
00:36:26,940 --> 00:36:32,060
Just do one more line to throw in on this and some of that ends up being your closer or whatever like

668
00:36:32,540 --> 00:36:36,460
You know, you guys know open mic is there to start working out material

669
00:36:36,460 --> 00:36:41,420
It is not to judge whether you're a good or a bad comic. It's to get a rep

670
00:36:42,620 --> 00:36:49,980
I need to i've had this in my notebook or my on my notes app or wherever you keep notes in your head. I don't matter

671
00:36:51,100 --> 00:36:52,860
Do it on stage

672
00:36:52,860 --> 00:36:56,140
Then do it again and change something than the first time

673
00:36:57,260 --> 00:36:59,420
Then do it again and change something again

674
00:36:59,420 --> 00:37:05,740
Mm-hmm just because this tag didn't work at this open mic you can do it the next night and the tag work blow up

675
00:37:06,300 --> 00:37:09,020
But you're going to get an overall sense of here's what kind of works

676
00:37:09,020 --> 00:37:13,980
Here's what doesn't and then you should also for me because I don't write good

677
00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:18,220
I just try to feed off of what's going on. I try to just toss shit out

678
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,820
Do one more line

679
00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:25,660
That's where I ended last time. I ended last time and I went, okay

680
00:37:25,660 --> 00:37:31,260
I got my analyze what I wanted to and then we moved on to the next bit

681
00:37:31,820 --> 00:37:33,820
But now if I want to do it tonight

682
00:37:33,980 --> 00:37:37,260
Let's do it. Let's get to that point. Let's try every line I tried

683
00:37:38,060 --> 00:37:40,780
And then let me do one more line just whatever's on the top of my head

684
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:43,820
And more times than not for me the way I work

685
00:37:45,580 --> 00:37:49,500
That stuff gets because you're getting out of your comfort zone. You're getting out of writing

686
00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:54,060
You're like what what is this crowd? Even if it's a call back to something else that already

687
00:37:54,060 --> 00:37:56,060
Popped off in your show

688
00:37:56,940 --> 00:38:00,940
You can just feed off that and build into it and then you go. Oh now i've got some segues into this

689
00:38:01,180 --> 00:38:05,580
You're so good at that too. Yeah, you're really good at that. Like everybody's not good at that including me

690
00:38:05,740 --> 00:38:07,740
But you you you do that shit

691
00:38:08,380 --> 00:38:13,100
So well also, I want to say that you're probably an accessory in a murder

692
00:38:13,740 --> 00:38:15,660
because of an open mic

693
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:17,660
I've heard about this. Yeah

694
00:38:17,660 --> 00:38:23,820
So so okay, i've seen that gentleman since i've seen did he have a gun in his waist that uh, he did he did

695
00:38:24,380 --> 00:38:28,220
I don't want to i don't want to say his name though. We're not gonna say his name. Have y'all said his name

696
00:38:28,780 --> 00:38:35,260
I've never we haven't talked about it yet. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, we're not gonna say let's call him tom tom. Look tom

697
00:38:36,140 --> 00:38:39,020
Casio said a joke. He said you want to say what you said?

698
00:38:39,580 --> 00:38:41,260
Or you want to leave it?

699
00:38:41,260 --> 00:38:45,420
No, it's a crowd. It's a crowd work. Yeah, it's a crowd work joke. That was me trying to work

700
00:38:45,420 --> 00:38:51,260
I know I want that. I think this crowd work joke will get over. I love and invite crowd work

701
00:38:51,260 --> 00:38:57,340
Some comics don't like crowd work. I really like crowd work. I went to school for improv when I was in la

702
00:38:58,060 --> 00:38:59,500
I want to do

703
00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,500
I want to mess around with the crowd

704
00:39:02,220 --> 00:39:06,780
A lot of people go I have this don't interrupt me. I'm going to get to the script and if you'll follow me

705
00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:08,780
It'll be a damn good script

706
00:39:08,860 --> 00:39:12,940
And i'm not hating on that. I can't write a script so I have to adapt

707
00:39:12,940 --> 00:39:16,620
and work off of what are we doing here and

708
00:39:17,980 --> 00:39:19,820
So one of my bits

709
00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:22,140
the premise is because this starts

710
00:39:22,780 --> 00:39:25,660
Like a lot of my stuff does just chilling and hanging with the boys

711
00:39:26,460 --> 00:39:28,460
And then figuring out how to work it out later

712
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:36,620
Was hanging out with me and my guys. We always do stupid would you rather's or uh, dilemmas or

713
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:38,620
Name your hey, man

714
00:39:38,620 --> 00:39:43,340
You can only keep three fast food french fries go and then we get in a debate about it. So

715
00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:45,900
This started

716
00:39:46,940 --> 00:39:49,580
How much money would it take for you to take the money

717
00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:53,580
Are we allowed to be dirty here you could say

718
00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:58,300
We were this is a pro hitler podcast you can say whatever you want

719
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:03,420
I wouldn't say you know, we were sitting there watching preseason football today and jay jay went

720
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:06,060
I wanted to be known that i'm staunch antli

721
00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:11,640
Hit anti hitler and I am and I thought that was gonna come up again and then here you're like

722
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:14,840
And i'm like, you know what if jay jay said I want to be

723
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:20,080
Really really like definitively on the side of anti hitler

724
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:25,120
I want to say that clearly into the that's a controversial take on this

725
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,560
Three out of four, you know, who knows is right? Oh

726
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:35,140
Oh my jake i'd like to switch seats with you, sir

727
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,120
He was misunderstood as well

728
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,560
Yeah

729
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,160
It's a good man right there

730
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,920
The the the premise on my set for this particular story was

731
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,840
How much money would it take for you to trade in for the perfect dick?

732
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,840
Think about your perfect dick

733
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,480
So i'm going to give you your perfect dick

734
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,960
or one million dollars

735
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:05,520
because

736
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:11,600
You can ask that question a hundred times to the dude in the front row and 100 times. It'll probably be different

737
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:17,040
He won't want to answer it. He's going to answer it bravely. He's going to take the dick immediately

738
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:22,560
He's going to take a million dollars immediately his wife's going to come in and say take the million dollar like

739
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:28,480
Take the dick take the meat like there's a thousand ways. I think that's the fun part of it. Yeah, and so

740
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,680
To do that though, you have to start

741
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:37,040
Doing that at shows at some point no matter what level and

742
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,560
Seeing what people are going to start saying so you can start

743
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,680
Getting into that mindset and while i'm negotiating with tom. Yeah

744
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,040
He said he had a perfect dick

745
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:55,680
He said he had a perfect dick. Yeah, I don't need I already have a perfect dick. He didn't want the money and I said, okay

746
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,280
He said I have a perfect dick and I said two million

747
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:03,920
Are the perfect dick and he took the dick and so now we're going through it and now

748
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,880
I see his um

749
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:13,760
Lady friend. I don't know what their relationship was. There's a lady at the table with him and she slyly goes

750
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:18,160
When he what a guy she did that he's like I have the perfect dick and she's like

751
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:21,200
And then

752
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:26,640
As we negotiate I go I don't want to bring your girl in and blah blah. I think it's having a fun time

753
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:33,760
Not I wasn't aggressive to him. No, not at all. I just posed a question and now we're riffing and then a lady at the bar says

754
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:38,400
Hey, you girls take the perfect dick the black lady at the park. You need it

755
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,800
She's already said he don't have the perfect here something like that

756
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:44,080
Yes, she said she said he ain't got the perfect. Yeah

757
00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:46,720
And I'm like

758
00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:52,160
This is a fun time to end like because I was like this is a fun show like I finally because the first time

759
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:58,320
Part of my said I did not get laughed and then this got laughed thankfully the for the lady on the bar

760
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:04,720
And then afterwards I was still down there and you guys went outside and saw some chaos

761
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:11,520
Dude, so we go outside and talking to Charlie. He just comes across the street. He stops in the middle of the street and

762
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:15,760
Throws his phone as the guy was just talking to tom tom which we didn't know

763
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,760
Till later was signed up to be a comic. Yeah night

764
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:25,200
I didn't know that I thought he was I thought the reason he was mad because he went up and didn't get any laughs

765
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:29,040
But then you guys were like, no, he didn't go up. No, I never saw him go up

766
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,920
So he didn't go up. So I'm like, why did you do that?

767
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:35,760
He didn't go up so he didn't go up so I'm like why did he just smash his phone?

768
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:39,680
It had to be because his girl said she did he didn't have a perfect dick

769
00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:42,720
Cut to last week

770
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,560
You know cut this a month later. I come up. He's like, hey, can I get a lighter?

771
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,040
He has a cigarette and I see like dirt in his fingernails, right?

772
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,120
And like deep down in there

773
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:56,240
So this is what I see when you have when you have dirt deep down in that means you haven't been home in a while

774
00:43:56,240 --> 00:44:03,680
You haven't showered at all. So this immediately what I thought you haven't been home in a while you haven't and then he goes up that night

775
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:08,640
And he says I had to kill somebody in self-defense last week. He did

776
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:15,520
What are we talking about he killed his girl she wasn't with him. Hey, she's been there every time with him

777
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,080
All right. I saw

778
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,640
He killed her I saw him

779
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:27,280
At an open mic since that night. Uh-huh, and I was worried because I'd heard all y'all stories

780
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:29,840
I was worried when I saw him. I'm like

781
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,400
He's gonna come up to me and like kill me

782
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,520
Or like be ready to fight. You know what I mean?

783
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:42,080
and he never said well like so now like I don't know if he noticed like he realizes it was me or

784
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:48,080
He didn't give a shit. I don't know the case like but he never mentioned it to me but that night

785
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,320
We're all hanging out after the mic

786
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:55,600
And by the way, he did a pretty damn good job. I was like, you know, that's pretty good. Yeah

787
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,840
I was like damn I don't there was some I want to google to see if it was already on the internet

788
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,320
But I was like, they told me he did so

789
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,960
Who Jake he said he says he says

790
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,400
Because I was like, I'm like, that's some good she's like reddit

791
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,400
Yeah

792
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,400
What's this?

793
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:13,600
Mike I don't care

794
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,920
My point was I just still wanted to see well

795
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:21,280
I mean he was still funny dude regardless. I was like I was funny and then we're hanging out afterwards

796
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,200
And I we're like Bob and Bob. Yeah, you're going to the show

797
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:30,240
Yeah, we got a show in trustful. I'd like for you to come work. That's good. I mean I'll have your number

798
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,160
Tom goes

799
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,320
killed a man last week

800
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,320
And we're like, what's that?

801
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:42,320
He's like, yeah, man self-defense. I stabbed him you ever been stabbed

802
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,200
And we're like now we uh

803
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:50,160
Now i've never been stabbed no and he's like i've been stabbed

804
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,320
Brandon's like hey man, will you pass that

805
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,440
Before you start that story, will you go ahead and hand that over here?

806
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,280
Because it sounds like it's gonna be a long story, you know

807
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,320
I was like good call dude

808
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,320
Don't get stuck in this story

809
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:15,120
Yeah, once you talk about killing the man, i'm not asking you to go ahead and pass it. You know what I mean?

810
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,320
You can achieve it as long as you want after that

811
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,680
Brandon's like

812
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:27,840
That's a long story guys. I was like bet that's a good call. He actually stabbed and killed his girlfriend

813
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,480
After she transitioned she chose the perfect

814
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:39,360
What'd he say Brandon and he was talking about how this dude tried to stab him. Yeah, basically he did stab him

815
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:45,280
And he was like dude when you get stabbed, it's like it's life changing. Yeah, it's not the same. It feels bad

816
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,440
I've never been stabbed, but I promise you this is gonna be life changing the first time

817
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:58,000
Tom I just remember you guys talking about dude. I knew him for half my whole life like we we went to school together

818
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:03,280
Dude he seen me when I played basketball he was there with me

819
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:08,000
Was this when we went when we went? No, i'm talking about back in like middle school

820
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,760
I'm talking about middle school. JJ he knows this guy

821
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,800
Half my whole life

822
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,240
I've never heard anyone say the phrase half my whole life

823
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:25,440
Half of it. Brandon you have some of the most craziest phrases that i'm like

824
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:33,120
I've never heard a human say those words in that order before. This just Brandon knows multiple murderers

825
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:33,360
Yeah

826
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:38,320
Because the other dude killed that dude in the Russian roulette and then tried to hang out with me and after he told that knife story

827
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,320
He's like so you wanna hang out with him?

828
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:43,040
Okay, so I had a friend

829
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:47,920
Who uh my my mom told me in third or fourth grade she's like you can't hang out with him no more because he always had

830
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:49,920
Butterfly knives and he would do tricks

831
00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:54,720
The school downer too

832
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,560
He always had butterflawn

833
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,720
Union flags everywhere and all that shit

834
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:05,200
Oh, what's a union flag like the sylviots the soviet?

835
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,160
ussr hammer and sickle

836
00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:10,240
Yeah, man sylvia

837
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,360
I thought the sylviots was who attacked tweety bird

838
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,440
Didn't know blocked in the sylvia

839
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,160
Yeah, the cold war like back in the cold war days

840
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:30,880
So you didn't know anybody that killed somebody in world war two soviet

841
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,920
The soviet that's just what you're talking about

842
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,720
He was a fan of it like he had the flags and shit

843
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:39,280
Yeah, and he uh did what he do call of duty

844
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:43,520
He always played that and then one day my mom thought he can't have him no more. That's okay

845
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,320
One day I saw him on the news and uh

846
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:50,000
He did russian roulette with this guy and then shot and killed him and said it was an accident

847
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,880
So they let him out and uh, then after that he was like

848
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:57,440
This is real this is real this is real he roams the streets

849
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:03,040
Yeah, like I said, yeah, he's a good dude. I don't want to because he can he watch this?

850
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:08,640
Do you know if he watches this? Yeah, he can he's like close. Hey, man. I hate you got hemmed up like that

851
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:12,480
Yeah, man

852
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,480
The government's against us, you know

853
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:19,120
I thought he was like one of the nicest people until he did that man

854
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:24,960
Because he was like so kind he murdered a guy. Yeah, and then I was like, I'm gonna think about this a little bit

855
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:32,240
I can't say I was is he a sylvia or not? No, he was uh, he had blonde hair. He always he supported it though

856
00:49:32,240 --> 00:49:35,840
He had blonde hair and he looked like johnny carson a little bit if he was young

857
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:40,720
Yeah, you know johnny carson. Yeah, I know johnny carson. I know johnny carson

858
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:45,920
He looked like johnny carson when he was young. No, I'm saying when he was young. Oh like young young

859
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:52,320
Yeah, he was like I have to see what happened. Have you all checked the sat test yet? The iq desk?

860
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:58,320
Yes, we did. Yes, we did. I'm scared that Brandon got higher than me. Wait, have you all revealed it yet?

861
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:02,320
No, on the live show. 31st. The 31st? 31st of august

862
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:08,560
That's shenanigans. Yeah, we're gonna reveal it. It's gonna be none of us know only person who knows everybody scores kim

863
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,960
And then kim's been treating us a mighty different. Okay

864
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:19,280
And then kim's been treating us a mighty different. Okay, then treat me the same

865
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,520
Smoking like a true sylvia

866
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:38,720
Oh my god, soviet, right? Soviet. Soviet. Yes

867
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,600
I've been saying it wrong my whole life. You have

868
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:43,600
At least half your whole life

869
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,600
Half my whole life

870
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:47,600
Hell yeah man

871
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,600
Oh my god

872
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,600
Half my whole life

873
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,600
All right

874
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:57,600
I'm overstimulated. Brandon's also the first person on stage i've ever seen

875
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,600
I'm in a domestic

876
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:01,600
I'm in a domestic

877
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:07,600
He said i'm an abusive relationship y'all fuck with those

878
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:09,600
And the girl's like

879
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,600
No we don't

880
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,600
No we do not. He got a woo one time

881
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,600
Yeah one dude said woo i'm like oh shit you serious?

882
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,600
Oh no

883
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,600
Y'all fuck with me

884
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,600
Y'all fuck with that

885
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,600
Well before he was like y'all fuck a card y'all fuck with that

886
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,600
No

887
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,600
No

888
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:29,600
Fuck with that

889
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,600
No

890
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,600
I fuck with abusive relationships

891
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,600
That is closer to fucking a car

892
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:37,600
I'll be honest with you

893
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,600
I'm closer to that than having sex with a vehicle

894
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,600
Oh yeah to clarify

895
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,600
I'm talking about the car and I know people man

896
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,600
My vehicle. Hope y'all know that

897
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:47,600
Oh you're talking about the abusive relationship

898
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,600
Yeah yeah abusive relationship

899
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,600
No no i'm talking about the cars

900
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:53,600
I'm just making sure

901
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,600
All right so this ghostly Muhammad Ali

902
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:57,600
Means we're at 50 minutes

903
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,600
I heard you do a really good impression

904
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:01,600
We're at 50 minutes

905
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,600
50 minutes

906
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,600
Y'all didn't even get to your research

907
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:07,600
Can we keep going?

908
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,600
Hell yeah

909
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,600
He'll walk off

910
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:13,600
Bring that back at

911
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:15,600
420

912
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,600
Okay 420 what time is it?

913
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:19,600
Let's see what time it is

914
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:21,600
What time is it?

915
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,600
It is 319

916
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:25,600
So much longer

917
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,600
What time is it?

918
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,600
4

919
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,600
4 is a good number

920
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:33,600
How about 4?

921
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:35,600
It's like getting a ham slaw

922
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,600
I want time to eat

923
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:39,600
Yeah we gotta have time to eat

924
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,600
Yeah everybody that comes here eats

925
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,600
So good dude

926
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,600
I can't wait

927
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:47,600
All right let's go to 4

928
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:49,600
Okay

929
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,600
Go get into your research

930
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,600
I want to know I heard you do a very good impression

931
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,600
Of Matt Foley

932
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,600
Can we get a little bit of

933
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,600
Well sure

934
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:03,600
One you should know that was

935
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,600
One you should know I broke something over here

936
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,600
Don't worry about that

937
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,600
And then two

938
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,600
That was my comedy idol was Chris Farley

939
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,600
Love it

940
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,600
So that was Saturday Night Live

941
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,600
I didn't want to do stand up I wanted to do sketch and improv

942
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,600
I saw them do a sketch

943
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,600
And that's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life

944
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,600
I just don't know why they're getting paid

945
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,600
To do that on television

946
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,600
But I'd really like to do that instead of

947
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,600
Hanging vinyl signing with my dad

948
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,600
You know what I mean

949
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:33,600
That looked very appetizing to me

950
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,600
And so

951
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,600
That's what I would

952
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,600
I watched Saturday Night Live then

953
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,600
Religiously

954
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,600
Different than it is now of course

955
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,600
But Chris Farley

956
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,600
Was a guy where I thought

957
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,600
Man that is

958
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:51,600
I mean even without me trying to do

959
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:53,600
Chris Farley as soon as he came out

960
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:57,600
All my high school friends were going

961
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,600
You're Chris Farley

962
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,600
It was just like that

963
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,600
The big guy you're loud

964
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:05,600
You're funny you got lumped in

965
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,600
The same thing which I was fine with

966
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:09,600
I was like yeah he's fucking hilarious

967
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,600
And then of course Matt Foley the motivational

968
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,600
Speaker so

969
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,600
I did that

970
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,600
Have you done that? Yeah I used to do that

971
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,600
Impression all the time

972
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,600
I actually did that

973
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,600
Impression for

974
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,600
What's your name? She was on Saturday Night Live

975
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,600
Bond hair, real ditzy

976
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,600
Not Molly

977
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,600
Shannon

978
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:37,600
Christina Wigg

979
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,600
Way before that

980
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,600
From 75

981
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,600
Negative Nancy

982
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:45,600
What's wrong?

983
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,600
You said Kate McKicken

984
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,600
Kate McKicken

985
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,600
She is funny

986
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,600
Look up female

987
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:55,600
Saturday Night Live

988
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,600
Was it 1975?

989
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,600
It could have been a reunion type shit

990
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,600
I hope you die

991
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,600
In a fire

992
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:05,600
Like a hot one

993
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:07,600
A hot fire

994
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,600
SNL

995
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,600
Oh he's typing Bond

996
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,600
Well you burned down something

997
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,600
Huh?

998
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,600
Oh right there, Victoria Jackson

999
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,600
Oh yeah

1000
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,600
Victoria Jackson

1001
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,600
There we go

1002
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,600
What year? 90s?

1003
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:27,600
Not the 70s you asshole

1004
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,600
She was great on Saturday Night Live

1005
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:33,600
She was really good friends

1006
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:35,600
They actually made me do

1007
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,600
My impression for her

1008
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,600
I was emceeing

1009
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:41,600
Her show at the start home in Birmingham

1010
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,600
And friends came back

1011
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:45,600
And radio people and the owner

1012
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,600
And stuff

1013
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:49,600
And they were like hey he, Casio

1014
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,600
Does a great impression of

1015
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,600
Matt Foley, motivational speaker

1016
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,600
Who she is

1017
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:57,600
In, she's in

1018
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,600
Segments with him doing that

1019
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,600
So like that's the time she was there

1020
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,600
She's got her two daughters

1021
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,600
There at the time

1022
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,600
I'm gonna be

1023
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,600
Wrong but let's just say pre-teenish

1024
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:11,600
At the time, old enough to know

1025
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,600
Chris Farley

1026
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,600
Go, yeah

1027
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,600
She's sitting on the couch, go down

1028
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:19,600
Wait, go back, just go down

1029
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,600
Three, alright, go down three

1030
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,600
Tell them when to stop, to the right

1031
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,600
Alright, right here?

1032
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,600
There you go, she's sitting there

1033
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:29,600
Steven Seagal

1034
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:31,600
Farley, you know

1035
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,600
That's her time, is that

1036
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,600
That whole time, anyway

1037
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,600
I don't wanna do it, I don't

1038
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,600
This is a lot of pressure

1039
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,600
She worked, that's one of her friends

1040
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,600
You know what I mean, like

1041
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:45,600
That's a weird pressure to do an impression

1042
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,600
Of somebody who's passed away too soon

1043
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,600
That they were super close and did all this

1044
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:51,600
Magic together

1045
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,600
And everybody's like do it, do it

1046
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,600
And she was like yeah, you know, she's in a tough spot

1047
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,600
She's like yeah, do it

1048
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,600
So then I'm like, my name is Matt Foley

1049
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,600
Motivational speaker

1050
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,600
I live in a van

1051
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:05,600
Down by the river

1052
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,600
And so I'm doing the whole thing

1053
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,600
Pulling the pants up

1054
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:11,600
El Nino

1055
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,600
I'm doing the whole Spanish version

1056
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,600
Of everything

1057
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:17,600
Her daughters start crying

1058
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,600
One girl goes

1059
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:23,600
I miss Chris

1060
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:25,600
And starts crying

1061
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,600
So then it's like

1062
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,600
She goes to console them

1063
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,600
And there's seven of us in the room going

1064
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:33,600
Probably I'm going to walk outside

1065
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:35,600
I want to go out here

1066
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,600
Yeah, let's go out here

1067
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,600
Let's go out here for a second

1068
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,600
That was when I was like

1069
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,600
I probably shouldn't do that

1070
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,600
Around friends is fine

1071
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,600
But let's don't ever do it for somebody

1072
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,600
I'm sure like if I did it

1073
00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,600
For David Spade, he's like

1074
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:53,600
You're not even close, you know what I mean

1075
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,600
But just for that time and for a kid to do that

1076
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,600
It's like oh my god

1077
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,600
I've made Victoria Jackson's

1078
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,600
Daughter cry

1079
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:03,600
And then I had to do

1080
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,600
She came to

1081
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,600
At the time stand up live and now

1082
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:09,600
I love to do live in Huntsville

1083
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,600
And they called me to open up for her

1084
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:13,600
And I was like yeah

1085
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,600
I'm down with that

1086
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:17,600
And so I meet her

1087
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:19,600
I'm like hey you probably don't remember it

1088
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:21,600
It's been like ten years at least or whatever

1089
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:23,600
And I was like my name is Casio

1090
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,600
And I opened up for you in Birmingham

1091
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,600
And she was like yeah

1092
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:29,600
I remember going to Birmingham

1093
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,600
And I was like

1094
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:33,600
I did an impression of

1095
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,600
They made me do an impression of Matt Foley

1096
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,600
I made sure they were like they made me

1097
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:39,600
They made me do an impression of Matt Foley

1098
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:41,600
And your daughter started crying

1099
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:43,600
Like I told her and she was like

1100
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,600
I do remember that

1101
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,600
That was not a good night

1102
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,600
She was like you did great on the show

1103
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:51,600
And everything and I was like yeah

1104
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,600
I didn't talk to you much after that

1105
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,600
So can I get a picture?

1106
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,600
No I'm not going to be the guy

1107
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,600
I made your daughter cry I don't want a picture with you

1108
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:03,600
So I can be like hey I met her daughter crying tonight doing Matt Foley

1109
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:07,600
Yeah so that was my jam man

1110
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:09,600
Chris Farley was my jam

1111
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:11,600
I love Chris Farley

1112
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,600
So when I moved to LA

1113
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:15,600
Started going to the Groundlings

1114
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:17,600
My goal was not stand up

1115
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,600
My goal was MADtv or Saturday Night Live

1116
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:21,600
And what year did you go?

1117
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:23,600
I went to Los Angeles in 2003

1118
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,600
2003?

1119
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:27,600
Hell yeah

1120
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,600
Got to sit in on MADtv

1121
00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:31,600
I had met before that through radio

1122
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:33,600
And stuff Frank Caliendo

1123
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:35,600
The king of impressions

1124
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,600
He was on MADtv at that time

1125
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:39,600
He invited me I got to sit in the stands

1126
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:41,600
And watch and record

1127
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:43,600
And even watching that

1128
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:45,600
I was like yeah this is

1129
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,600
You just see somewhere you're like this is where I need to be

1130
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:49,600
Right here

1131
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,600
And then now I'm here

1132
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,600
But

1133
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:55,600
It's the same

1134
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,600
It's pretty much

1135
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:59,600
It's the same

1136
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,600
I just saw it and it confirmed

1137
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,600
I'm out here for the right reasons

1138
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,600
That's what I want to do

1139
01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:07,600
And then I did

1140
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:09,600
Some open mics in Birmingham

1141
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,600
I had met some comics

1142
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:13,600
And they were like you should go do stand up

1143
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,600
And did some open mics

1144
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,600
Over at the start on that's where I started

1145
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:19,600
For about a year probably

1146
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:21,600
And then I moved to Los Angeles

1147
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,600
Didn't do any stand up I was doing just sketch

1148
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,600
And improv and focusing on that

1149
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:27,600
Did some sketch shows and sketch

1150
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,600
You know they're booking this sketch show

1151
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:31,600
So I'd go do that or a contest where

1152
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,600
Bring your best sketch or whatever the case

1153
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,600
May be and then go into class at night

1154
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:37,600
And then

1155
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:39,600
I was on the

1156
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,600
Tonight show with Jay Leno

1157
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,600
And at the time

1158
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,600
The guys who

1159
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:47,600
Booked all the comics

1160
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,600
For tonight show

1161
01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:51,600
They booked

1162
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:53,600
Last Comic Standing

1163
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:55,600
Because it was NBC

1164
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:57,600
So they were like y'all know all the comics

1165
01:00:57,600 --> 01:00:59,600
We'll do it American Idol style

1166
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,600
We'll get some people off the street

1167
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,600
Mix that in with real comics

1168
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:05,600
That just don't have any

1169
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:07,600
Not getting enough love

1170
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,600
If you get in the comedy business

1171
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,600
You'll be like if you spend time on the road

1172
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:13,600
There's road comics that are funnier than anybody

1173
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,600
You've ever heard of and work

1174
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:17,600
You'll be on TV weekends a year

1175
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:19,600
And you'll be like why do y'all not know about

1176
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:21,600
These guys because they're the funniest people on the planet

1177
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:23,600
Y'all are going to see

1178
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,600
Celebrity acts because they have a name

1179
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:27,600
And they might be entertaining

1180
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,600
But they're not, I could show you the guy

1181
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:31,600
Next week where we're giving away free tickets to

1182
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:33,600
That literally will have you like

1183
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:35,600
Pissing your pants and crying

1184
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,600
The Dale Jones and the Sean Jones

1185
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,600
Or two, like just there's some people

1186
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:41,600
Out there where you go, they're just a

1187
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:43,600
Road dog and they're

1188
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:45,600
They'll beat any special you've ever seen

1189
01:01:45,600 --> 01:01:47,600
Like they're just funny people

1190
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,600
And so they

1191
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:51,600
Were booking those people like

1192
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,600
Hey these dudes have been on the road not getting

1193
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,600
Their due, the courses before

1194
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,600
Social media so they weren't like you can make your own brand

1195
01:01:57,600 --> 01:01:59,600
It's a comic

1196
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:01,600
You're just going to, whoever the clothes are

1197
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:03,600
Headlining, that's who they're headlining and that's who's famous

1198
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,600
You know what I mean?

1199
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:07,600
And so they booked some of those, some people

1200
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:09,600
Off the street and then they were like hey

1201
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,600
You're a funny dude

1202
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:13,600
You're doing segments for us

1203
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,600
Come try out for Last Comic Standing

1204
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:17,600
And I was like I don't do stand up

1205
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,600
Like y'all work with me

1206
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:21,600
I do man on the street stuff

1207
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,600
I do segments, I do sketches

1208
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:25,600
And they were like hey we just need

1209
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:27,600
We need bodies like you can say

1210
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,600
You were on stand up live, I mean you say

1211
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,600
We were on Last Comic Standing

1212
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:33,600
And so I was like okay

1213
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:35,600
When's the trial? And they were like

1214
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,600
We're going to start in three months

1215
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:39,600
And so I was like I'm not camping on the

1216
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:41,600
Fucking street

1217
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:43,600
And they were like no no you just walk in

1218
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:45,600
I'm like alright I'm in

1219
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:47,600
And so then I, for three months

1220
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:49,600
Or whatever it was

1221
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,600
Three or four months

1222
01:02:51,600 --> 01:02:53,600
I had to figure out how to get all my sketches

1223
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:55,600
That I wrote and improv shit

1224
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,600
And turn that

1225
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:59,600
Into a five minute

1226
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:01,600
Comedy set

1227
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:03,600
And so I started doing

1228
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:05,600
Any mic I could get

1229
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,600
Los Angeles

1230
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:09,600
Doing five minutes

1231
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:11,600
Just to literally try

1232
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:13,600
How am I going to turn what I'm doing into stand up

1233
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,600
Because it's not the same, people think it's the same

1234
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:17,600
No that's totally different

1235
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:19,600
When I was at the Groundlings they would have the Sunday Company

1236
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:21,600
Which is right before you were in the main company

1237
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:23,600
And when I was there the Sunday Company

1238
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:25,600
Was people like Kristen Wiig

1239
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:27,600
And Will Forte and some other people like that

1240
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,600
Holy shit

1241
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:31,600
And they would bring in a guest

1242
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:33,600
Like every now and then

1243
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,600
Like just a funny person

1244
01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:37,600
A stand up, another improv person

1245
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:39,600
You don't know who it is

1246
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,600
But they would come and try to just sit in and be a guest that night

1247
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:45,600
And you would see so many

1248
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:47,600
Stand up comics

1249
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,600
They either got it or they didn't

1250
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:51,600
If you come into improv comedy

1251
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:53,600
And try to get to an ending

1252
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:55,600
You know I got a joke

1253
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:57,600
I know which ending I'm going towards

1254
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,600
I'm driving right towards there

1255
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,600
Improv is not like that

1256
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:03,600
Because you could say something that throws the whole

1257
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:05,600
Thing off where I thought I was going

1258
01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:09,600
And like I saw Louis CK there one night

1259
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:11,600
And he's about

1260
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:13,600
Four or five sketches in

1261
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:15,600
And he's like I'm out

1262
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,600
Like in a fun way

1263
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:19,600
Because you would see his stand up brain

1264
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,600
They would start a scene at the beach

1265
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:23,600
And he starts calculating

1266
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,600
And saying some lines

1267
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:27,600
But you can go, he sees this ending

1268
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:29,600
This finish line

1269
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:31,600
And they would go, oh yeah but we gotta walk home

1270
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:33,600
And he'd go

1271
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,600
Wait, I've already got us mapped out

1272
01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:37,600
I'm already trying to set you up for this finish line

1273
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,600
Which is what a stand up does

1274
01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:41,600
Is I'm gonna get us there together

1275
01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:43,600
And improv with so many people involved

1276
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,600
You never know where they're gonna go

1277
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:47,600
And so he would set everything up

1278
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,600
They would go left

1279
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:51,600
When he thought they were gonna go right

1280
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,600
And then it's like

1281
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:55,600
I don't know where we're going

1282
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:57,600
I already had this finish line mapped out

1283
01:04:57,600 --> 01:04:59,600
And he'd be like I got nothing

1284
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:01,600
Yeah, that would be so hard

1285
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:03,600
He stopped doing it

1286
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,600
And everybody's like laughing and loving him

1287
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:07,600
It wasn't like he was mad

1288
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,600
He was just like, this is wild

1289
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:11,600
You know what I mean, like I'm not made for this

1290
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:13,600
And he's not, that's why he's a goat where he's at

1291
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:15,600
Because he's a stand up comic

1292
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,600
He knows how to do stand up comedy

1293
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:19,600
At it's best

1294
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:21,600
And so to think about improv

1295
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:23,600
That's two different demons

1296
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:25,600
It's why so many stand up comedies

1297
01:05:25,600 --> 01:05:27,600
Go don't talk about that

1298
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:29,600
I know where we're going

1299
01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:31,600
Some people like it

1300
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:33,600
Some people don't

1301
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:35,600
It's changed especially in social media times

1302
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,600
Now you can just throw crowd work

1303
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:39,600
Crowd work specials

1304
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:41,600
Like stand ups now

1305
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:43,600
We're doing like saying they do an hour

1306
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:45,600
They'll do 45 minutes of material

1307
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:47,600
And then the last 15 minutes is straight crowd work

1308
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:49,600
So they can get the clips

1309
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:51,600
Which I understand because you don't want to burn your material

1310
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:53,600
Or it's not even complete yet

1311
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:55,600
To where you want it

1312
01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:57,600
Speaking of burning stuff

1313
01:05:57,600 --> 01:05:59,600
Do you burn down your grandma's house?

1314
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:03,600
It was the wrong grandmother's house

1315
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:05,600
It was not my

1316
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:07,600
Oh wait, wait, wait

1317
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:09,600
Time out

1318
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:11,600
There's two different stories I got myself

1319
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:13,600
I did burn my grandmother's house down

1320
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:17,600
And I went swimming in another wrong grandmother's swimming pool

1321
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:19,600
That is legendary from the radio

1322
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:21,600
Grandmother, yes

1323
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,600
On about my 13th birthday

1324
01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:25,600
12th, 13th, somewhere around there

1325
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:29,600
My grandparents lived on the river in Asheville, Alabama

1326
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,600
And they had this double wide trailer on the river

1327
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:33,600
And it couldn't get any better

1328
01:06:33,600 --> 01:06:35,600
You know what I mean?

1329
01:06:35,600 --> 01:06:37,600
And we had our birthday

1330
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:39,600
My birthday is July 6th

1331
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:41,600
So I get lumped in the fourth year of the live party

1332
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:43,600
And so we all hung out

1333
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:45,600
Shot fireworks

1334
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:47,600
At the end of the night

1335
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:49,600
They're telling me to go clean up the fireworks

1336
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:51,600
I'm lazy and fat

1337
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:53,600
I'm a little gear

1338
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:55,600
I just go out and grab what I can see

1339
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:57,600
But I throw all these stuff in the bag

1340
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,600
Trash bag, big black hefty bag

1341
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:03,600
Put that in a rubber trash can

1342
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,600
Put that rubber trash can

1343
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:09,600
Up against the vinyl siding double wide

1344
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:11,600
We left for the night

1345
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:15,600
And of course stuff was still hot in there

1346
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,600
And it stayed hot

1347
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,600
And then it melts through plastic garbage bag

1348
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:21,600
It's getting fueled by plastic rubber trash bag

1349
01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,600
Now it's on vinyl siding

1350
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:25,600
And at about 3am

1351
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:27,600
My grandparents woke up to their trailer on fire

1352
01:07:27,600 --> 01:07:31,600
And so yeah, that burnt down

1353
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:33,600
That was not good

1354
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:35,600
They survived thankfully

1355
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:37,600
But I didn't know

1356
01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,600
I knew their house burned as a kid

1357
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:43,600
I didn't find out that it was my responsibility

1358
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:45,600
Until I was like 23

1359
01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:47,600
Like we were hanging out her house

1360
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:49,600
Yeah, we were hanging out her new house

1361
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:53,600
My grandfather passed away this time

1362
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:55,600
But she's got a new house

1363
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:57,600
She moved closer to town

1364
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,600
Where we were in Gadsden

1365
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:01,600
Got a pool so everybody would still visit

1366
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:03,600
She knew that

1367
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:05,600
And we were just sitting there one time

1368
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:07,600
And somebody said something about throwing an ashtray out in a trash can

1369
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,600
Or something

1370
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:11,600
They were like yeah, you're going to burn the house down

1371
01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:13,600
They don't call me Casio

1372
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:15,600
But Matt, they were like

1373
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:17,600
What are you talking about?

1374
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:19,600
And it opened up this whole

1375
01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:21,600
Trouble window for me

1376
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:23,600
Of I burnt my grandparents' house down

1377
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,600
I didn't know until I was 23

1378
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:27,600
And so my whole family knew it

1379
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:29,600
And just didn't tell me

1380
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:31,600
Because I was too young

1381
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:33,600
And they didn't want to tell me

1382
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:35,600
You burnt your grandparents?

1383
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:37,600
At 23 you're like

1384
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:39,600
Man, I got a lot to deal with

1385
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:41,600
I apologize

1386
01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:43,600
I should have brought snacks today grandma

1387
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:45,600
I should be pinching in every time I come over here

1388
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,600
I burnt your house down

1389
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:49,600
I should be pinching in

1390
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:51,600
Man, that sounds like a great

1391
01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:53,600
Cover story for insurance fraud

1392
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:57,600
I like that

1393
01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,600
It's fireworks

1394
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:01,600
By our teenage grandson

1395
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:03,600
Because you know the

1396
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:05,600
Insurance people aren't smart enough to figure out

1397
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:07,600
Chemistry and shit

1398
01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:09,600
Rubber, yeah that burns, right?

1399
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:11,600
Oil, that's good, it's all good, right?

1400
01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:13,600
And I think vinyl siding

1401
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,600
Is a common theme in your life, man

1402
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:17,600
I'm white trash

1403
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:19,600
Maybe I'm a white trash superstar

1404
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:21,600
My friend, there's a lot of vinyl

1405
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:23,600
Vinyl siding in linoleum

1406
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,600
Yeah, dad did vinyl in gutters

1407
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:27,600
And I worked with him

1408
01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:29,600
He was a firefighter and

1409
01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:31,600
He had to retire early because he

1410
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:33,600
What do you call it?

1411
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:35,600
Smoke weed

1412
01:09:35,600 --> 01:09:37,600
And he had to

1413
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:39,600
Retire early from there and so he started

1414
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,600
His own construction business, vinyl siding

1415
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:43,600
In gutters, I worked with him

1416
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:45,600
For a few summers in high school

1417
01:09:45,600 --> 01:09:47,600
Then I worked with my uncles

1418
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:49,600
Who owned a tile place

1419
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:51,600
Doing tile

1420
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,600
And in that six year stretch I was like

1421
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:55,600
Fuck manual labor

1422
01:09:55,600 --> 01:09:57,600
I would like to

1423
01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:59,600
Never do this ever again

1424
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:03,600
So yeah, that's why I was like, I gotta figure out

1425
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,600
How to make this entertaining stuff

1426
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:07,600
Real

1427
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:09,600
That was my whole deal

1428
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:11,600
I literally was like

1429
01:10:11,600 --> 01:10:13,600
I'm just not built for it guys

1430
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:15,600
There's people that do this job and more power to them

1431
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:17,600
I'm just not, I can't do it

1432
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:19,600
I mean I could do it if that was my last deal

1433
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:21,600
But I'm saying like I did it

1434
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:23,600
And was like, what can I do

1435
01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:25,600
I won't make as much money

1436
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:27,600
But what if I'm just funny, can I figure out how to do that?

1437
01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:29,600
I don't make as much money as you

1438
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:31,600
But I

1439
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:33,600
I don't lay tile

1440
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:35,600
Which for me sucks dick

1441
01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:37,600
It's the worst

1442
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:39,600
Manual labor is the worst

1443
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:41,600
You see how black I'm getting right now

1444
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:43,600
Doing that shit

1445
01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:45,600
That is the worst part

1446
01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:47,600
The worst part

1447
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:49,600
The worst part is the sun tan

1448
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:55,600
So he put on there that you burned down the house

1449
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:57,600
And what you got

1450
01:10:57,600 --> 01:10:59,600
So you got beaten up by a monkey

1451
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:01,600
Holy fuck

1452
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:03,600
Your response is way better than this

1453
01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:05,600
I don't suck with monkeys

1454
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:07,600
I don't either sir

1455
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:09,600
That's a great call

1456
01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:11,600
That's a good rule to have

1457
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,600
JJ's like I'm not cosigning on camera

1458
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:15,600
He said it

1459
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:17,600
We can agree with it

1460
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:19,600
That's going to be a clip for sure

1461
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:21,600
Yeah it is

1462
01:11:21,600 --> 01:11:23,600
JJ going

1463
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:25,600
Man that was actually a radio

1464
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:27,600
When I started with Rick and Bubba

1465
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:29,600
And I was like, I'm going to be a radio

1466
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:31,600
When I started with Rick and Bubba

1467
01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:33,600
And radio, somebody called and said

1468
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:35,600
Hey guys I don't know if y'all know about it

1469
01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:37,600
But at the Coleman

1470
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,600
Country Club or golf course

1471
01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:41,600
I think it was Coleman, somewhere around there

1472
01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:43,600
Hayden maybe, I don't know it's a golf course

1473
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,600
But they were like

1474
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:47,600
This guy that has a house

1475
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:49,600
Where his backyard is up against the golf course

1476
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,600
He has a monkey

1477
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:53,600
And we're like what kind of monkey

1478
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:55,600
And he's like I don't know

1479
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,600
One of those little tiny monkeys and he wears a diaper

1480
01:11:57,600 --> 01:11:59,600
And he goes

1481
01:11:59,600 --> 01:12:01,600
It's kind of fun but it's kind of not

1482
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:03,600
If your ball goes too close to the yard

1483
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:05,600
The monkey will run out

1484
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:07,600
And hop the fence and grab the ball

1485
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:09,600
And take it back to the house

1486
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:11,600
Because everybody knows this is the hole

1487
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:13,600
You got to watch it to the right

1488
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:15,600
There's the monkey house and if you hit it over there

1489
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:17,600
You're going to lose your golf ball

1490
01:12:17,600 --> 01:12:19,600
So we started looking at it and we're like oh that sounds funny

1491
01:12:19,600 --> 01:12:21,600
And we're like let's go check it out

1492
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:23,600
So we go to the golf course

1493
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,600
And we find the guy

1494
01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:27,600
Who has a house and we start

1495
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:29,600
We're like hey man we heard you got a monkey here

1496
01:12:29,600 --> 01:12:31,600
And it steals golf balls

1497
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:33,600
Yeah one of those

1498
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:35,600
Yeah that's kind of what he looked like except bigger

1499
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:37,600
Yeah that's a baby

1500
01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:39,600
This was an adult that he didn't want the

1501
01:12:39,600 --> 01:12:41,600
Monkey to shit in his house

1502
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:43,600
So he put a diaper on him

1503
01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:45,600
That's a baby who didn't know better

1504
01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:47,600
This dude was just a lazy monkey

1505
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:49,600
So he's got a monkey

1506
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:51,600
And he's like oh yeah I'll bring it out

1507
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:53,600
So he brings the monkey out

1508
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:55,600
And he's texting with it

1509
01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:57,600
And you know at that point

1510
01:12:57,600 --> 01:12:59,600
I wasn't scared of monkeys

1511
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:01,600
Especially one in a diaper

1512
01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:03,600
You're like this thing is kind of cute

1513
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,600
You know what I mean? Look at it

1514
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:07,600
I mean it's kind of cute at the time

1515
01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:09,600
And he would like run up on you

1516
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,600
And like climb on you and we're like oh this is kind of cool

1517
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,600
Especially we're like this is making great radio

1518
01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:15,600
Like great audio

1519
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,600
And he climbed

1520
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:19,600
The monkey climbed on me and he's like

1521
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:21,600
Climbing around and then he's like doing the

1522
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:23,600
I had hair back then believe it or not

1523
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:25,600
And he starts like doing the

1524
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:27,600
Monkey thing where they're looking through your hair

1525
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:29,600
And stuff and I'm like this is hilarious

1526
01:13:29,600 --> 01:13:31,600
And then

1527
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:33,600
He like

1528
01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:35,600
Took a little nibble of my ear

1529
01:13:35,600 --> 01:13:37,600
He's like

1530
01:13:37,600 --> 01:13:39,600
And I was like hey man your monkey

1531
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:41,600
Just kind of like nibble on my ear

1532
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:43,600
That's pretty funny and he's like yeah

1533
01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:45,600
He does that sometimes and I'm like

1534
01:13:45,600 --> 01:13:47,600
Yeah I'd like that for not to happen

1535
01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:49,600
Ever again and he was like

1536
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:51,600
Well he just does it sometimes

1537
01:13:51,600 --> 01:13:53,600
Just tell him not to do it

1538
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:55,600
Oh okay

1539
01:13:55,600 --> 01:13:57,600
Don't bite my ear that should be the end of it

1540
01:13:57,600 --> 01:13:59,600
And so he's like on my shoulder

1541
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:01,600
And he's like he swung over

1542
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:03,600
And he started biting this one and then it's like

1543
01:14:03,600 --> 01:14:05,600
Getting a little harder and I'm like

1544
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:07,600
Hey man I'd like your monkey to not bite

1545
01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:09,600
My ear anymore how do we make that happen?

1546
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:11,600
Can you get him off of my shoulder?

1547
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:13,600
He's like ah he just kind of does

1548
01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:15,600
What he wants man

1549
01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:17,600
And you're like

1550
01:14:17,600 --> 01:14:19,600
He needs to not want to bite my ear

1551
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:21,600
Because I guess just cover

1552
01:14:21,600 --> 01:14:23,600
Your ears man and I'm like

1553
01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:25,600
Okay dude

1554
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:27,600
And so now the monkey is like

1555
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:29,600
Getting in on it and I'm like

1556
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:31,600
Alright bud this is funny

1557
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:33,600
So I cover my ears and I'm like hey

1558
01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:35,600
This is great and

1559
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:37,600
The monkey is literally like

1560
01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:39,600
Trying to pull my fingers off of my ear

1561
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:41,600
He's like mad

1562
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:43,600
That I've covered my ear and I'm like

1563
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:45,600
This is kind of funny that's great

1564
01:14:45,600 --> 01:14:47,600
Everybody's laughing we're having a good time at that point

1565
01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:49,600
And then

1566
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:51,600
The monkey grabs the front of my shirt

1567
01:14:51,600 --> 01:14:53,600
Like this with one hand

1568
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:55,600
Puts his feet here so he's like

1569
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:57,600
Hanging in front of me like right here

1570
01:14:57,600 --> 01:14:59,600
He's got a hold of my shirt

1571
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:01,600
And he's like hanging

1572
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:03,600
And he's just staring at me and I'm like

1573
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:05,600
Hey man

1574
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:07,600
I think you should come get your monkey probably

1575
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:09,600
Like this is

1576
01:15:09,600 --> 01:15:11,600
Not fun anymore

1577
01:15:11,600 --> 01:15:13,600
And I like close my eyes

1578
01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:15,600
And I'm like hey man

1579
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:17,600
Get your monkey off of me

1580
01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:19,600
And the monkey fucking pimp slaps me

1581
01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:21,600
Oh damn

1582
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,600
And I was like bam I was like what?

1583
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:25,600
Did I just get slapped?

1584
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:27,600
I should probably kill the monkey right now

1585
01:15:27,600 --> 01:15:29,600
You know?

1586
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:31,600
And he was like he slapped me

1587
01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:33,600
He's looking like that

1588
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:35,600
Oh my god

1589
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:37,600
Thanks for the flashbacks dude

1590
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:39,600
Oh fuck

1591
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:41,600
The one on the right he's looking dead at me

1592
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:43,600
And slapped me multiple times

1593
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:45,600
And so I go hey dude

1594
01:15:45,600 --> 01:15:47,600
Not funny anymore

1595
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:49,600
And I do like this

1596
01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:51,600
Because the monkey literally has my collar

1597
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:53,600
Like he's like robbing me for money

1598
01:15:53,600 --> 01:15:55,600
You know what I mean?

1599
01:15:55,600 --> 01:15:57,600
Like if this was a human you'd be like I'm in a bad spot

1600
01:15:57,600 --> 01:15:59,600
But he's this big

1601
01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:01,600
And you're like I still think I'm in a bad spot

1602
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:03,600
And so I push

1603
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:05,600
Him off of me and he

1604
01:16:05,600 --> 01:16:07,600
In one movement when I push

1605
01:16:07,600 --> 01:16:09,600
He just climbs up on my

1606
01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:11,600
So now he's on my arm

1607
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,600
I'm like hey dude come get your monkey

1608
01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:15,600
Off of me

1609
01:16:15,600 --> 01:16:17,600
I really want the monkey

1610
01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:19,600
I don't know how to politely say

1611
01:16:19,600 --> 01:16:21,600
I need the monkey off of me right now

1612
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:23,600
And they're all laughing

1613
01:16:23,600 --> 01:16:25,600
Oh they're laughing

1614
01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:27,600
I don't make money

1615
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:29,600
So I'm like then I start shaking like this

1616
01:16:29,600 --> 01:16:31,600
And I'm like trying to push him off my arm

1617
01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:33,600
And I don't know if you know about monkeys

1618
01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:35,600
But they don't fall easily

1619
01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:37,600
They're made to not fall from things

1620
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:39,600
And I push him and now he's hanging

1621
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:41,600
From my arm

1622
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:43,600
And as he's hanging I start swinging

1623
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:45,600
I'm like hey man get the damn monkey off my arm

1624
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:47,600
It's not funny anymore

1625
01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:49,600
Like I need the monkey off of me

1626
01:16:49,600 --> 01:16:51,600
And as I'm doing this

1627
01:16:51,600 --> 01:16:53,600
Monkey rears back

1628
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:55,600
And bites my elbow as hard as he can

1629
01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:57,600
Full attack Mike

1630
01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:59,600
And I'm like what

1631
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:01,600
And I'm like I just like sling him

1632
01:17:01,600 --> 01:17:03,600
And he goes down

1633
01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:05,600
And he like runs away and like making the noise

1634
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:07,600
And then he like circles around

1635
01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:09,600
And he starts coming to me

1636
01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:11,600
And I'm like hey man

1637
01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:13,600
He just bit me if the monkey comes over here

1638
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:15,600
I'm punting it across the golf course

1639
01:17:15,600 --> 01:17:17,600
I need you to know it's not going to end good

1640
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:19,600
For the monkey because I was gentle that time

1641
01:17:19,600 --> 01:17:21,600
And I'm not going to be gentle

1642
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:23,600
And so he starts coming and he's like

1643
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:25,600
Getting in front of him

1644
01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:27,600
And the monkey goes around a little bit

1645
01:17:27,600 --> 01:17:29,600
And then the owner I see like the

1646
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:31,600
You know when the owner of any wild animal

1647
01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:33,600
Figures out oh I'm not in charge anymore

1648
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:35,600
He goes

1649
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:37,600
I see the dude go

1650
01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:39,600
Build a human wall

1651
01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:41,600
Around Casio and you're like

1652
01:17:41,600 --> 01:17:43,600
Man this just got serious

1653
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:45,600
So there's like seven

1654
01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:47,600
Full grown dudes

1655
01:17:47,600 --> 01:17:49,600
Standing in a circle around me because

1656
01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:51,600
The monkey now wants to get back to me

1657
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:53,600
Oh you fucking around

1658
01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:55,600
They have to like

1659
01:17:55,600 --> 01:17:57,600
Escort so I was like

1660
01:17:57,600 --> 01:17:59,600
Man we're driving home

1661
01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:01,600
Like this is bullshit

1662
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:03,600
I'm bleeding I got my wrapped up

1663
01:18:03,600 --> 01:18:05,600
In a bandage and I was like alright

1664
01:18:05,600 --> 01:18:07,600
I need to think of it as a performer

1665
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:09,600
I was young on the radio

1666
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:11,600
And I was like this story

1667
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:13,600
Is going to be epic

1668
01:18:13,600 --> 01:18:15,600
I think listening at home everybody

1669
01:18:15,600 --> 01:18:17,600
Realized how epic it was

1670
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,600
I just needed

1671
01:18:19,600 --> 01:18:21,600
Attack it as a performer and be like

1672
01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:23,600
That was fun let your emotions

1673
01:18:23,600 --> 01:18:25,600
Go it's going to be fun

1674
01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:27,600
We get back to Birmingham

1675
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:29,600
I get to my desk at the radio

1676
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:31,600
Station

1677
01:18:31,600 --> 01:18:33,600
I have ten voice mails

1678
01:18:33,600 --> 01:18:35,600
And they are progressively worse

1679
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:37,600
Hey man I'm a

1680
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:39,600
Veterinarian you don't need to be around that monkey

1681
01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:41,600
Hey man I just heard

1682
01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:43,600
You got bit by a monkey not cool

1683
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:45,600
Hello Mr.

1684
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:47,600
Mitchell this is the CDC

1685
01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,600
Center for Disease Control in

1686
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:51,600
Atlanta we have been informed by

1687
01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:53,600
Multiple people that you have been bitten by a monkey

1688
01:18:53,600 --> 01:18:55,600
You and the monkey need to go

1689
01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:57,600
To your nearest doctor immediately

1690
01:18:57,600 --> 01:18:59,600
So I called them back

1691
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,600
And they are like

1692
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:03,600
I told them the story thinking they are going to laugh

1693
01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:05,600
And they are like there is nothing humorous

1694
01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:07,600
About that

1695
01:19:07,600 --> 01:19:09,600
You need to go to a doctor today

1696
01:19:09,600 --> 01:19:11,600
And I'm like

1697
01:19:11,600 --> 01:19:13,600
For what they are like a thousand

1698
01:19:13,600 --> 01:19:15,600
Different reasons you need to go

1699
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:17,600
You have been bitten by a monkey bro

1700
01:19:17,600 --> 01:19:19,600
This is not good for you

1701
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:21,600
And then they are like you need to find

1702
01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:23,600
The monkey and we are like we know where the monkey

1703
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:25,600
Lives he is actually on

1704
01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:27,600
The golf course he is set up pretty nice

1705
01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:29,600
And they are like you need

1706
01:19:29,600 --> 01:19:31,600
To get the monkey and the monkey needs

1707
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:33,600
To go in and get tested

1708
01:19:33,600 --> 01:19:35,600
For rabies which

1709
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,600
If you know anything about that

1710
01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:39,600
Means they murder the pet

1711
01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:41,600
The pet gets his head chopped off

1712
01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:43,600
And so word

1713
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:45,600
Now gets around

1714
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:47,600
To this guy we are having to call this

1715
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:49,600
Guy back he is like

1716
01:19:49,600 --> 01:19:51,600
The monkey ran after

1717
01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:53,600
Y'all left he is claiming

1718
01:19:53,600 --> 01:19:55,600
It did

1719
01:19:55,600 --> 01:19:57,600
But he doesn't want everybody showing up

1720
01:19:57,600 --> 01:19:59,600
Killing his pet monkey

1721
01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:01,600
He is like the monkey escaped

1722
01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:03,600
So then it is like a hunt

1723
01:20:03,600 --> 01:20:05,600
In Birmingham Alabama

1724
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:07,600
Or Coleman and Hayden

1725
01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:09,600
Whatever this was

1726
01:20:09,600 --> 01:20:11,600
There is an escaped monkey

1727
01:20:11,600 --> 01:20:13,600
Could be rabid

1728
01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:15,600
Bro the monkey is at the house

1729
01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:17,600
Monkey is at me

1730
01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:19,600
Maw's house you know what I mean

1731
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:21,600
What are we doing

1732
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:23,600
Oh so bad

1733
01:20:23,600 --> 01:20:25,600
Could you imagine if you got on the

1734
01:20:25,600 --> 01:20:27,600
Radio and you are like

1735
01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:29,600
Guys fuck the monkey house

1736
01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:31,600
By the golf course in Coleman Alabama

1737
01:20:31,600 --> 01:20:33,600
And the news are like

1738
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:35,600
Local radio host goes on

1739
01:20:35,600 --> 01:20:37,600
Racist tyrant

1740
01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:39,600
And they are like find that fucking monkey

1741
01:20:39,600 --> 01:20:41,600
He bit me

1742
01:20:41,600 --> 01:20:43,600
All this shit

1743
01:20:43,600 --> 01:20:45,600
Sounds real dog whistly

1744
01:20:45,600 --> 01:20:47,600
Dog whistly

1745
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:49,600
Yeah

1746
01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:51,600
Was that post a tickle me

1747
01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:53,600
Elmo incident or what

1748
01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:55,600
You don't know about that when that

1749
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,600
Chimpanzee the chimpanzee incident

1750
01:20:57,600 --> 01:20:59,600
He ripped that lady's face off

1751
01:20:59,600 --> 01:21:01,600
He ripped her face off

1752
01:21:01,600 --> 01:21:03,600
Here is the deal

1753
01:21:03,600 --> 01:21:05,600
This is a dog whistle

1754
01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:07,600
This is actual animal kingdom

1755
01:21:07,600 --> 01:21:09,600
We shouldn't have

1756
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:11,600
Any human interaction with monkeys

1757
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:13,600
I agree

1758
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:15,600
One they have strength

1759
01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:17,600
Beyond anything we can comprehend

1760
01:21:17,600 --> 01:21:19,600
It's real bad guys

1761
01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:21,600
We shouldn't have any wild animals

1762
01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:23,600
We shouldn't have any lizards

1763
01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:25,600
We shouldn't have snakes

1764
01:21:25,600 --> 01:21:27,600
Why the fuck do you even want

1765
01:21:27,600 --> 01:21:29,600
A snake or a lizard

1766
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:31,600
That's some kink shit

1767
01:21:31,600 --> 01:21:33,600
This motherfucker grabs them

1768
01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:35,600
I'm pro lizard

1769
01:21:35,600 --> 01:21:37,600
I'm pro lizard

1770
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:39,600
Except Kamala Harris

1771
01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:41,600
Speaking of lizard

1772
01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:43,600
I'm not saying we smash

1773
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:45,600
Chameleons on the sidewalk

1774
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:47,600
I'm just saying we should

1775
01:21:47,600 --> 01:21:49,600
Own iguanas

1776
01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,600
Dude iguanas fuck people up

1777
01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:53,600
I know that's what I said

1778
01:21:53,600 --> 01:21:55,600
Not me some bitch

1779
01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:57,600
Fuck a bitch

1780
01:21:57,600 --> 01:21:59,600
I'm never gonna take my iguana

1781
01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:01,600
Do you think about Steve Irwin

1782
01:22:01,600 --> 01:22:03,600
That was his whole career

1783
01:22:03,600 --> 01:22:05,600
He's dead

1784
01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:07,600
But stingray

1785
01:22:07,600 --> 01:22:09,600
He's the best wild animal

1786
01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:11,600
He's the best wild animal guy we got

1787
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:13,600
And he's dead

1788
01:22:13,600 --> 01:22:15,600
Everybody has an off day

1789
01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:17,600
Even Michael Jordan had a

1790
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:19,600
I have a 100% success rate of not getting attacked by bears

1791
01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:21,600
You know why?

1792
01:22:21,600 --> 01:22:23,600
I've never been to where bears are

1793
01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:25,600
I went to Smokey's once and I camped

1794
01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:27,600
I was a kid and overnight

1795
01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:29,600
They were like hide your trash

1796
01:22:29,600 --> 01:22:31,600
So we're in this camper where we

1797
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:33,600
Took the trash in

1798
01:22:33,600 --> 01:22:35,600
Overnight they're like shaking our camper

1799
01:22:35,600 --> 01:22:37,600
Trying to get in

1800
01:22:37,600 --> 01:22:39,600
And I was like hey man

1801
01:22:39,600 --> 01:22:41,600
This is not a fun trip anymore dude

1802
01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:43,600
I don't want to survive

1803
01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:45,600
I can survive at my house

1804
01:22:45,600 --> 01:22:47,600
They're not getting through a locked door

1805
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:49,600
They can break into my camper

1806
01:22:49,600 --> 01:22:51,600
So I'm never coming back to the Smokey's again

1807
01:22:51,600 --> 01:22:53,600
You see how that works

1808
01:22:53,600 --> 01:22:55,600
I don't want any bears near me

1809
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:57,600
That sounds like a white trash fairy tale

1810
01:22:57,600 --> 01:22:59,600
That's like the wolf going to the pig town

1811
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:01,600
If you get killed in Gatlinburg

1812
01:23:01,600 --> 01:23:03,600
You're going straight to heaven

1813
01:23:03,600 --> 01:23:05,600
That is the exact way

1814
01:23:05,600 --> 01:23:07,600
My man was doing

1815
01:23:07,600 --> 01:23:09,600
What a normal white guy does

1816
01:23:09,600 --> 01:23:11,600
He's in Gatlinburg

1817
01:23:11,600 --> 01:23:13,600
In the Smokey's trying to be one with nature

1818
01:23:13,600 --> 01:23:15,600
My man gets a pass

1819
01:23:15,600 --> 01:23:17,600
He's in

1820
01:23:17,600 --> 01:23:19,600
So you don't fuck with Tiger King then?

1821
01:23:19,600 --> 01:23:21,600
He's got his shirt on

1822
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,600
I mean I watch it

1823
01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:25,600
This is made from that zoo in Oklahoma

1824
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:27,600
That's cool man

1825
01:23:27,600 --> 01:23:29,600
I love Tiger King

1826
01:23:29,600 --> 01:23:31,600
I mean he's lunatic

1827
01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:33,600
But free him

1828
01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:35,600
He's a pretty right individual

1829
01:23:35,600 --> 01:23:37,600
Because of that bitch Carole Baskin

1830
01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:39,600
I'm not saying she's any better

1831
01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:41,600
My man was a bad dude

1832
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:43,600
Yeah

1833
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:45,600
I mean it's the greatest reality show

1834
01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:47,600
We've ever had

1835
01:23:47,600 --> 01:23:49,600
I couldn't believe it was real

1836
01:23:49,600 --> 01:23:51,600
And it hit

1837
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:53,600
At the perfect time in COVID

1838
01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:55,600
When all we could do was watch TV

1839
01:23:55,600 --> 01:23:57,600
Oh my gosh man

1840
01:23:57,600 --> 01:23:59,600
This is a true story

1841
01:23:59,600 --> 01:24:01,600
I watched the Tiger King documentary

1842
01:24:01,600 --> 01:24:03,600
And I

1843
01:24:03,600 --> 01:24:05,600
COVID just happened

1844
01:24:05,600 --> 01:24:07,600
In high school

1845
01:24:07,600 --> 01:24:09,600
And so we didn't go back to school

1846
01:24:09,600 --> 01:24:11,600
This came out

1847
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:13,600
I was sleeping on an air mattress in my room at the time

1848
01:24:13,600 --> 01:24:15,600
And I got a big ass

1849
01:24:15,600 --> 01:24:17,600
Two liter sprite

1850
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:19,600
And dumped half of it out

1851
01:24:19,600 --> 01:24:21,600
And then poured a whole bottle of Ed Hardy wine

1852
01:24:21,600 --> 01:24:23,600
Into it

1853
01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:25,600
And I drank it while watching this and I pissed everywhere

1854
01:24:25,600 --> 01:24:27,600
What?

1855
01:24:27,600 --> 01:24:29,600
I don't even understand what happened

1856
01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:31,600
I thought podcasts were about sharing experiences

1857
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:33,600
Thank you for sharing

1858
01:24:33,600 --> 01:24:35,600
Is this not a judgment free zone?

1859
01:24:35,600 --> 01:24:37,600
Where did you get Ed Hardy wine?

1860
01:24:37,600 --> 01:24:39,600
It was in the fridge

1861
01:24:39,600 --> 01:24:41,600
Well I mean

1862
01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:43,600
How did it get into your fridge?

1863
01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:45,600
Who sells Ed Hardy wine?

1864
01:24:45,600 --> 01:24:47,600
Ross, Dress for Less

1865
01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:49,600
I got you

1866
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:51,600
I got a golf

1867
01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:53,600
A polo for $20

1868
01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:55,600
Some dark chocolate

1869
01:24:55,600 --> 01:24:57,600
And some Ed Hardy wine

1870
01:24:57,600 --> 01:24:59,600
I got it

1871
01:24:59,600 --> 01:25:01,600
It had one of those arms like rectangular stickers

1872
01:25:01,600 --> 01:25:03,600
On it

1873
01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:05,600
It said $8.99

1874
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,600
Somebody bought it

1875
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:09,600
As a Christmas gift for my grandma

1876
01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:11,600
And she don't drink

1877
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:13,600
So it had been in there for like four years

1878
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:15,600
It was a nice aged red

1879
01:25:15,600 --> 01:25:17,600
I don't know why you guys are fucking hating on me

1880
01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:19,600
But you poured that with what?

1881
01:25:19,600 --> 01:25:21,600
Sprite

1882
01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:23,600
I didn't know what I was doing

1883
01:25:23,600 --> 01:25:25,600
And then I just pissed everywhere

1884
01:25:25,600 --> 01:25:27,600
But air mattress is a good bed to piss on

1885
01:25:27,600 --> 01:25:29,600
Did you throw it away or wash it?

1886
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:31,600
That's an easy clean

1887
01:25:31,600 --> 01:25:33,600
Hose?

1888
01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:35,600
Water, yeah

1889
01:25:35,600 --> 01:25:37,600
Outside, outdoor

1890
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:39,600
Anybody else know you pissed?

1891
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,600
No, my ex girlfriend knew

1892
01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:43,600
She wasn't there

1893
01:25:43,600 --> 01:25:45,600
But she was the reason I had a fucking air mattress in the first place

1894
01:25:45,600 --> 01:25:47,600
She gave me bed bugs, had to throw away my mattress

1895
01:25:47,600 --> 01:25:49,600
Holy shit

1896
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:51,600
The classy lady

1897
01:25:53,600 --> 01:25:55,600
Most dudes dating are like

1898
01:25:55,600 --> 01:25:57,600
I don't want herpes

1899
01:25:57,600 --> 01:25:59,600
I don't want gonorrhea or syphilis

1900
01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:01,600
And I'm like

1901
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:03,600
My bitch gave me bed bugs

1902
01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:05,600
That's a trashy girl right there

1903
01:26:05,600 --> 01:26:07,600
I'd rather her give me a real

1904
01:26:07,600 --> 01:26:09,600
SCD than bed bugs

1905
01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:11,600
For sure

1906
01:26:11,600 --> 01:26:13,600
SCD I can deal with

1907
01:26:13,600 --> 01:26:15,600
Bed bugs I gotta get a new mattress

1908
01:26:15,600 --> 01:26:17,600
You've compromised my life

1909
01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:19,600
I can shave

1910
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:21,600
I can manscape and get rid of some crap

1911
01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:23,600
I don't want to get a new mattress

1912
01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:25,600
I got my mattress like I like it

1913
01:26:25,600 --> 01:26:27,600
Start waking up with bites

1914
01:26:27,600 --> 01:26:29,600
It's a rude awakening

1915
01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:31,600
Bed bugs

1916
01:26:31,600 --> 01:26:33,600
That girl gave me bed bugs

1917
01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:35,600
How long did you have bed bugs?

1918
01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:37,600
Have bed bugs?

1919
01:26:37,600 --> 01:26:39,600
Not long, you know pretty soon

1920
01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:41,600
After you get them

1921
01:26:41,600 --> 01:26:43,600
You look up a YouTube video

1922
01:26:43,600 --> 01:26:45,600
Do I have bed bugs?

1923
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:47,600
Check the lining in the middle of the mattress

1924
01:26:47,600 --> 01:26:49,600
I lifted it up, just hundreds of them

1925
01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:51,600
Bug bomb

1926
01:26:51,600 --> 01:26:53,600
My room

1927
01:26:53,600 --> 01:26:55,600
And it's COVID

1928
01:26:55,600 --> 01:26:57,600
What are you going to do for 12 hours

1929
01:26:57,600 --> 01:26:59,600
Except stand outside and fucking

1930
01:26:59,600 --> 01:27:01,600
Drive around

1931
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:03,600
That's it

1932
01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:05,600
Have you seen the new videos

1933
01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:07,600
Where you're supposed to get the

1934
01:27:07,600 --> 01:27:09,600
You keep the

1935
01:27:09,600 --> 01:27:11,600
Sheet on the bed

1936
01:27:11,600 --> 01:27:13,600
And you get the iron

1937
01:27:13,600 --> 01:27:15,600
Have you seen this?

1938
01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:17,600
Keep the sheet on the bed

1939
01:27:17,600 --> 01:27:19,600
You go to a hotel or a fanny bed you want to check

1940
01:27:19,600 --> 01:27:21,600
Keep the sheets on it

1941
01:27:21,600 --> 01:27:23,600
And then iron the corner of the bed

1942
01:27:23,600 --> 01:27:25,600
Because

1943
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:27,600
Bed bugs are attracted to heat

1944
01:27:27,600 --> 01:27:29,600
That's why they come up when you're sleeping

1945
01:27:29,600 --> 01:27:31,600
They come up and bite you because your body heat is made hot

1946
01:27:31,600 --> 01:27:33,600
So if you iron

1947
01:27:33,600 --> 01:27:35,600
Iron iron iron for like 10 minutes

1948
01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:37,600
5 minutes, I don't know what it is

1949
01:27:37,600 --> 01:27:39,600
Take the bed sheet off

1950
01:27:39,600 --> 01:27:41,600
You'll see them on the top of the mattress because they've came

1951
01:27:41,600 --> 01:27:43,600
So you can

1952
01:27:43,600 --> 01:27:45,600
See if you have bed bugs, just by ironing the bed

1953
01:27:45,600 --> 01:27:47,600
It's

1954
01:27:47,600 --> 01:27:49,600
Fascinating and you'll never want to

1955
01:27:49,600 --> 01:27:51,600
Stay in any hotel ever again

1956
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,600
Dude yeah, that's my biggest fear

1957
01:27:53,600 --> 01:27:55,600
When I go out and stay in them. Bed bugs?

1958
01:27:55,600 --> 01:27:57,600
Yeah, because I don't want to bring that shit back dude

1959
01:27:57,600 --> 01:27:59,600
Because you have to do too much

1960
01:27:59,600 --> 01:28:01,600
You have to do way too much to get rid of bed bugs

1961
01:28:01,600 --> 01:28:03,600
My back's never been the same

1962
01:28:03,600 --> 01:28:05,600
It's never been the same

1963
01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:07,600
Alright Casio

1964
01:28:07,600 --> 01:28:09,600
This is the end of the podcast

1965
01:28:09,600 --> 01:28:11,600
No way! Yes

1966
01:28:11,600 --> 01:28:13,600
What time is it?

1967
01:28:13,600 --> 01:28:15,600
We could go all day with you

1968
01:28:15,600 --> 01:28:17,600
This is going to be our first also all guest podcast

1969
01:28:17,600 --> 01:28:19,600
Because we won't be shooting an intro with this

1970
01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:21,600
It'll just be you

1971
01:28:21,600 --> 01:28:23,600
Was that good or bad? That's great

1972
01:28:23,600 --> 01:28:25,600
Thank you so much for this

1973
01:28:25,600 --> 01:28:27,600
And anything you got right here in this camera

1974
01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:29,600
You're going to say anything you got come up

1975
01:28:29,600 --> 01:28:31,600
This will be out next Monday

1976
01:28:31,600 --> 01:28:33,600
Anything you want them to follow

1977
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:35,600
When is this out?

1978
01:28:35,600 --> 01:28:37,600
Next Monday

1979
01:28:37,600 --> 01:28:39,600
What's the date?

1980
01:28:39,600 --> 01:28:41,600
August the 18th

1981
01:28:41,600 --> 01:28:43,600
Okay coming up I got

1982
01:28:43,600 --> 01:28:45,600
28th and

1983
01:28:45,600 --> 01:28:47,600
29th I believe

1984
01:28:47,600 --> 01:28:49,600
Somewhere in that

1985
01:28:49,600 --> 01:28:51,600
Look at my social media

1986
01:28:51,600 --> 01:28:53,600
I'll be out with Uncle Lazer

1987
01:28:53,600 --> 01:28:55,600
I'll be on the tour, we'll be in St. Louis

1988
01:28:55,600 --> 01:28:57,600
And we'll be out in Indianapolis

1989
01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:01,600
We've got the finals of the X5

1990
01:29:01,600 --> 01:29:03,600
Showcase coming up

1991
01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:05,600
Podcast every

1992
01:29:05,600 --> 01:29:07,600
Wednesday at noon for

1993
01:29:07,600 --> 01:29:09,600
X5

1994
01:29:09,600 --> 01:29:11,600
And all the wrestling stuff is at

1995
01:29:11,600 --> 01:29:13,600
adfreeshows.com and I'll take you to our Patreon

1996
01:29:13,600 --> 01:29:15,600
And get you the Godfather

1997
01:29:15,600 --> 01:29:17,600
Pod and our two mail bags and any

1998
01:29:17,600 --> 01:29:19,600
other one-offs I

1999
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:21,600
do

2000
01:29:21,600 --> 01:29:23,600
That's about it man

2001
01:29:23,600 --> 01:29:25,600
For right now

2002
01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:27,600
Just trying to live my best life

2003
01:29:27,600 --> 01:29:29,600
I don't have a manual labor job and that's really

2004
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:31,600
my only going life

2005
01:29:31,600 --> 01:29:33,600
Do everything I can

2006
01:29:33,600 --> 01:29:35,600
Comedy

2007
01:29:35,600 --> 01:29:37,600
I'm ordained to do weddings

2008
01:29:37,600 --> 01:29:39,600
I DJ'd at nightclubs for a while

2009
01:29:39,600 --> 01:29:41,600
Licensed realtor

2010
01:29:41,600 --> 01:29:43,600
I literally

2011
01:29:43,600 --> 01:29:45,600
Will do anything but a realtor

2012
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:47,600
Can you please do

2013
01:29:47,600 --> 01:29:49,600
Brandon's wedding? Can we

2014
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:51,600
What is that?

2015
01:29:51,600 --> 01:29:53,600
We're planning it out

2016
01:29:53,600 --> 01:29:55,600
It should be soon

2017
01:29:55,600 --> 01:29:57,600
I gotta get some money first

2018
01:29:57,600 --> 01:29:59,600
As soon as he meets a girl

2019
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:01,600
I just gotta get

2020
01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:03,600
That money

2021
01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:05,600
Do you know your budget for your

2022
01:30:05,600 --> 01:30:07,600
Minister yet?

2023
01:30:07,600 --> 01:30:09,600
How much is the minister?

2024
01:30:09,600 --> 01:30:11,600
I didn't know

2025
01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:13,600
You can get a real one if you go to church

2026
01:30:13,600 --> 01:30:15,600
You can get that one or you can pay me

2027
01:30:15,600 --> 01:30:17,600
How much?

2028
01:30:17,600 --> 01:30:19,600
What's the ballpark?

2029
01:30:19,600 --> 01:30:21,600
We'll figure it out

2030
01:30:21,600 --> 01:30:23,600
Might cost you that Aspen Church shirt

2031
01:30:23,600 --> 01:30:25,600
We'll have a spelling bee

2032
01:30:25,600 --> 01:30:27,600
And it's more money every word you

2033
01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:29,600
get wrong

2034
01:30:29,600 --> 01:30:31,600
We'll start with BSK

2035
01:30:31,600 --> 01:30:33,600
Thank you man

2036
01:30:33,600 --> 01:30:35,600
You would be too

2037
01:30:35,600 --> 01:30:37,600
Yeah I would be

2038
01:30:37,600 --> 01:30:39,600
We didn't even get to any of this

2039
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:41,600
I did work for

2040
01:30:41,600 --> 01:30:43,600
Little Caesars. That was my first job

2041
01:30:43,600 --> 01:30:45,600
In Los Angeles too

2042
01:30:45,600 --> 01:30:47,600
I worked in Gadsden when I was in high school

2043
01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:49,600
And then I was like when I moved to Los Angeles

2044
01:30:49,600 --> 01:30:51,600
What can I do?

2045
01:30:51,600 --> 01:30:53,600
I was like you know what I just need money coming in

2046
01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,600
So I was like the oldest dude at Little

2047
01:30:55,600 --> 01:30:57,600
Caesars. I was only 23

2048
01:30:57,600 --> 01:30:59,600
But you know they're in high school and they're like

2049
01:30:59,600 --> 01:31:01,600
Look at this old dude

2050
01:31:01,600 --> 01:31:03,600
What are you doing with your life working at Little

2051
01:31:03,600 --> 01:31:05,600
Caesars at 23?

2052
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,600
I'm feeling comedy now

2053
01:31:07,600 --> 01:31:09,600
Look at this old

2054
01:31:09,600 --> 01:31:11,600
Buddy you're telling me

2055
01:31:11,600 --> 01:31:13,600
I'll see you all the next open mic

2056
01:31:13,600 --> 01:31:15,600
Oh man

2057
01:31:15,600 --> 01:31:17,600
We missed some good stories

2058
01:31:17,600 --> 01:31:19,600
We missed some good ones though

2059
01:31:19,600 --> 01:31:21,600
What if I come back and hang again?

2060
01:31:21,600 --> 01:31:23,600
Can you come back and hang again?

2061
01:31:23,600 --> 01:31:25,600
Johnny Damon and

2062
01:31:25,600 --> 01:31:27,600
LeJon Witherspoon from Seven Ducks is a great story

2063
01:31:27,600 --> 01:31:29,600
Ok but save them

2064
01:31:29,600 --> 01:31:31,600
You're gonna come back?

2065
01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:33,600
Filthy Rich Cowlidroth. Yeah we did the Kardashians

2066
01:31:33,600 --> 01:31:35,600
and George Foreman's kids

2067
01:31:35,600 --> 01:31:37,600
We got a lot

2068
01:31:37,600 --> 01:31:39,600
to do there. Oh there is another Matt

2069
01:31:39,600 --> 01:31:41,600
Mitchell. That's who you thought you booked today

2070
01:31:41,600 --> 01:31:43,600
Is the funny

2071
01:31:43,600 --> 01:31:45,600
Matt Mitchell

2072
01:31:45,600 --> 01:31:47,600
Imagine this I'm not even the most famous

2073
01:31:47,600 --> 01:31:49,600
guy in my family and not the

2074
01:31:49,600 --> 01:31:51,600
most famous Matt Mitchell

2075
01:31:51,600 --> 01:31:53,600
Who's the most famous guy in your family? My cousin

2076
01:31:53,600 --> 01:31:55,600
is Yellow Wolf a rapper

2077
01:31:55,600 --> 01:31:57,600
I'll be going to his show when he's

2078
01:31:57,600 --> 01:31:59,600
36 Mafia Project

2079
01:31:59,600 --> 01:32:01,600
So imagine this I've did the

2080
01:32:01,600 --> 01:32:03,600
night show and everything and like at least I'm

2081
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:05,600
the most famous guy in my family

2082
01:32:05,600 --> 01:32:07,600
and then my

2083
01:32:07,600 --> 01:32:09,600
cousin Yellow Wolf comes on like fuck

2084
01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:11,600
this guy

2085
01:32:11,600 --> 01:32:13,600
You're killing me dude

2086
01:32:13,600 --> 01:32:15,600
I've been on the night show and now you're just gonna blow

2087
01:32:15,600 --> 01:32:17,600
right past me and dirty dude

2088
01:32:17,600 --> 01:32:19,600
Hell yeah

2089
01:32:19,600 --> 01:32:21,600
I love how we got bed bug control up on the Google

2090
01:32:21,600 --> 01:32:23,600
screen this is amazing I love you guys

2091
01:32:23,600 --> 01:32:25,600
BBC

2092
01:32:25,600 --> 01:32:27,600
Bed Bug Control

2093
01:32:27,600 --> 01:32:29,600
I'm a BBC

2094
01:32:29,600 --> 01:32:31,600
Expert Bed Bug Control

2095
01:32:31,600 --> 01:32:33,600
See you next week

2096
01:32:33,600 --> 01:32:35,600
There he is

2097
01:32:35,600 --> 01:32:37,600
Next week

2098
01:32:37,600 --> 01:32:39,600
Why did everyone go

2099
01:32:39,600 --> 01:33:01,600
I don't know what we're supposed to do

2100
01:33:09,600 --> 01:33:21,600
Music

2101
01:33:21,600 --> 01:33:23,600
What a thing